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#ive literally been working on this for over a month smh
neewtmas · 5 months
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24 days of Appreciation
DAY 7
Hello! It's the 7th of 24 days of appreciation this month, where we shine a spotlight each day on those we appreciate in this fandom!
If you want to submit someone or something (for more info read here), you can do so here or just message me! If you wanna stay anonymous, either tell me or submit on anon.
Appreciation by me:
today my appreciation goes to the people behind @savelockwoodandco! We are all still so sad over the cancellation news and while I and many others oftentimes don't have the energy and mental capacity to continue the fight, you guys (i'm pretty sure you're more than one person whoops) have been fighting tirelessly for literal months at this point. If anyone wants to show support, it's so valuable to have all the information you provide in oneplace and just providing the information is so much work in and of itself tbh. I'm so thankful for your continued effort and I applaud you from the sidelines. The pure dedication you show for this fandom is worth so so much and I wanna make sure you feel appreciated for it🫶🏻💫
Appreciation by others (submissions):
by @edible-rat-vomit: i got a positivity submission 😇 hihi! edible rat vomit here :3 im here to appreciate a couple people but first all my mutuals!! i love y'all so much and it makes my day so much brighter to see all of you. i wish i could remember all of your @s but i am soo bad w remembering things.. thank you all for welcoming me into the lockwood and co fandom! now onto the specifics.. first we got @lucy-j-carlyle .. you are the strongest mf i know on this platform. you've lost so much recently (ur tumblr blog included, may she rest in peace) . you somehow keep going! @krash-and-co i cant say much here bc a lot has already been said.. but you are seriously hilarious. also kermit v kipps. i dont even need to say more @favcharacterpoll listen all i gotta say is im so thankful for u accepting the kermit v kipps bit @yveni y'all have yveni to thank for my amazing pfp! they are also the creator (along with their team) of the lockwood and co family portrait (i still cant get over this btw its so amazing)! you never fail to make me smile when i see you on my dash :) @smol-being-of-light im ngl i have no idea when we followed each other but you're so fun and i love reading ur posts. thank you for ur message in one of the previous positivity messages that was so sweet 🥹. i wish i could go on but this is actually the third time ive typed this out and i keep losing it smh.. anyways.. if ur name isnt on this list please know that im thankful for you and i love you lots ps thank u much to the wonder human behind this appreciation chain 🫶 ur dedication is fantastic
Show your appreciation and submit someone or something here :)
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crescentfool · 2 years
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what if we held hands in the hallway.... and became boyfriends... unless...?
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koishua · 2 years
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Hiii, here to tell you that I'm (surprisingly) still alive 🤭🤭 He's a handful when his mother enters the house, but as the majority of the time we're alone he has been actually behaving better than what I expected.
Finally I'm not staying for a month, I'll be going back this weekend, but I'm *thinking* 🤔 of coming here to study (there's better chances than at my country), the only thing taking me back is having to learn another language 😩😩 they all say I'll learn it quickly but I just don't like languages 🤧
It's actually really cold here but I don't go out more than to take my cousin to school so no problemos, thank you <3
As I've been really unoccupied these days I started a drama called Law School and I'm currently obsessed, but I'm planning on watching All of us are dead after 👀
Besides, apparently even if my other friends are studying they appear to be free everyday for an anime hangout 🤔 (but who am I to reject?🤷🏽‍♀️)
I end up sending such long asks bc I accumulate so much info 😔... But please do tell me, how are you baby? Elaborate as much as you want. Seen you've been feeling under the weather, hope you're feeling better, I gotta work those reconnections to my good vibes, seems they aren't reaching you 👀✨✨
Have a great day tomorrow (today?) bubs 💕 - 💐
well hello there miss 😭 i kinda wanna ask why you're up so late but then again that would be hypocritical of me so i'll stay quiet bahaha it's so nice to hear from you again and im so glad to see that you're still all intact 😩 i'd be going back home asap too lmao also ooh studying there? i have heard that it was quite nice there but yeah the language problems </3 what do you want to study anyways?
that area is freezing istg im just glad that where i stay, it doesn't go lower than -10° c or else i would literally die of hypothermia or something regardless of how many layers i have on 😶 they call me michelin man on the streets smh
OMG LAW SCHOOL AS IN THE ONE WITH THE GIRL FROM ITAEWON CLASS?? or did i mix things up? anyways!! all of us are dead is SO goddamn good oml korea really has apocalypse movies down like man train to busan, happiness, this. all of them are *chef's kiss* ugh
any animes y'all are watching other than the new aot season? im gonna start this new badminton anime and it literally looks so good and the animation is PERFECT 😭 i think i'll enjoy it a lot like haikyuu since i actually used to play for a team too so that's nice 😩
also no worries i love your asks!! i just like talking to you in general haha as for me... idk man things have been all over the place but we're getting there ig 😔🤚
my mental health has been jumping everywhere every two seconds lmao it didn't seem too bright for me last night and im just glad im still here and breathing tbh 💀 i DID transfer schools again though so ig leaving my old school has helped me regain some sort of stability? (we are just going to ignore the fact that most of my issues are probably BECAUSE i had to move schools every six to ten months the past ten years 💀)
good news tho omg i am getting better at italian 👏it's similar to spanish, yes, but the speed and the way things are pronounced while natives speak made it difficult for me at first but bless easy italian bc it literally is my saving grace 😭 ive been binging their videos the past week while under quarantine no thanks to my siblings bringin covid back home with them lmao
i had the biggest urge and inspiration to paint something yesterday, but i ran out of the necessary paints and it pained me greatly that i was stuck inside till next week 💔💔 BUT‼️‼️i ordered A Thousand Splendid Suns, champion (marie lu) and They Three Body Problem and im so so excited to read them oml i read cixin liu's The Wandering Earth over and over so many times and am now in the process of reading all of his other books starting with the three body problem haha
i really recommend him if you like reading sci-fi‼️‼️and that's it from me <3 take care and stay safe >:(
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bausbitch · 4 years
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I'm sorry
Reid x reader
ANGST AHAHA
Req but @blankets-for-bees
Warnings: kidnapping, established relationship, gunshot, Spencer being an ass at first, also this IS NOT really funny as my other works //read: I'll try because I'm just such a naturally good comedian,,,or a mental asylum escapee,,// 🤩 OH and a happy ending
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Spencer had been,,,,
Awfully cold to you
For the last 6 months
Yeah, it was beginning to get on your nerves
It felt like living with a whole ghost 👻
And it wasn't like it was his work
You two had the same job for fucks sake
You even shared a home
But lately
Spencer would ONLY talk to you at work
And only when it was life or death
So basically when hotch paired you two up
And omg
The team
They had no idea
So they insisted you two sleep in the same room on this case
Bc you two are their fav couple!!!!!
But they didn't know that for the last six months
You were practically single
Except you couldn't go anywhere
And you wouldn't go out to flirt with people
Because you were a good s/o
*cough* unlike Spencer *cough*
Ok so this usub
The universe said
Fuck you, yn yln 🤩🤪🤡
This particular unsub
Kidnapped failing couples
And threw them in a house
A giant doll house
And sedated them
And played with them like dolls
And made them kiss and stuff
Like
Idk how to explain it
Like when you were little
And you didn't know you really LIKED liked girls
But you were always making your Frankie and ghoulia monster high dolls kiss in the first grade????
Or like
I think it's like ep 12 season 5
My best friend and I watched that one
Sigh
I miss her
Anyways
When you finally moved rooms
You walked in
And it felt like the weight of the world was lifted
Off of your shoulders
Don't worry the world is still pretty heavy
Issok though the world doesn't have to be a skinny legend
WAIT
This is supposed to be an angst
Ok
AHEM
Angsty angst angst
So you were like
Hell yeah
I'm gonna go chill in the jacuzzi
Then I'm gonna come back
And I'm gonna have a level head
Key words: come back
See, I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man
Okokok
So you were vibing in the jacuzzi
Then you saw Spencer
And
Gasp!
A woman that didn't look like any of the girls on the team was going into his room!!
You knew
You were being irrational
But you were like
Son of a bitch >:(
Alexa play jealousy by Monsta x
Anny. W. Ays
You went into the room
Or at least you knocked
And gasp
She answered
Ok
She seemed,,,
Suspicious
Probably bc she's the unsub yn you dumb bitch
And you were like
"Hey is Spencer in there?"
Like you WEREN'T his h*cking gf
And she straight up
PUNCHES YOU
Ok more like
Knocks you out with a blow to the face
And draws you inside
Ok now Spencers pov bc you're getting too much attention and he needs an explanation for making me play jealousy
Spencer
Oh god that I don't believe in how do I explain him
He was having a tough time
Ok wbk he's smart as hell
But when I comes to people who are FINE
Such as yourself
He gets a lil
*Patrick star from Spongebob noises*
So
Even if you guys had literally been dating for like
Five? Six? Years
He was starting to get scared
Bc
Ok so you guys had said the L world
You said it all the time
But
Spencer
He
He wanted to propose to you
Like
On one knee
Ring and everything
But he was scared
He was really really scared
Bc he wouldn't know what to do if you said no
Which
Why would you
You two were practically already married
You literally had a drunken, unofficial ceremony at Rossi's place one time
But he felt like
You wouldn't be ready
So he was like
Ok gotta set up a back up plan
If they reject me
And I have to go to work and see them
How do I not see them
How do I live without them?
Ah
I ignore them
😌
Plan: set
Spencer : fucking idiot
SO HE
He acted like you weren't there
And he eventually thought you were mad at him
Bc you weren't reaching out any more
Dumb bitch they think YOU'RE mad at them
Okokokok
Back to kidnapping
When he woke up
He was,,,,
*drum roll*
In a house?
A really nice house
Or at least the bedroom was nice
Or the roof of it
And what he could see from his peripheral vision
He could see you though
He could feel you
You were laying on his chest
Your arms around him
And he could tell you were still asleep
His serotonin levels went up higher than they had in months
Over the last six months he hadn't said a word
And he'd let you sleep on the couch
Smh and I thought he was a genius
But he missed you
But he had to make sure he was ready
To be honest
He probably knew what he was doing was irrational and the definition of idiotic
He also knew that by doing this he was maximising his chances of you not wanting to marry him
But he just
"Y'all hear smth?" -Spencer Reid, about his problems
Annie Oakley
Anyways
While he was too busy making heart eyes at your sleeping figure
Ya boy forgot to check if he could move
Turns out,,,,
He couldn't
Bc,,,,
*puts hands together like cat in the hat does*
This unsub, like I said before
SEDATED YOU TWO
So he waited
Until
The woman he unwillingly let into his hotel room, all by the service of a gun and a threat to his life 😄
Came and did whatever the fuck she was gonna do
Play with you guys more than my 6th grade crush played with my heart
And she did😋🥳🤩!!!!
But don't fret
She wasn't gonna hurt you
You had actually concluded the deaths were accidental
Just like me
Okoko so
She was strong
Like really fucking strong
Because she hauled both you and Spence
Into a little dining room
And served and fed you breakfast
You were connected to iv tubes
But still
But everything
The creepiest detail
According to me at least 💁✨
Was how all the food and everything
Were wood
Like
Toys for kids
Or something karuna satori would use in an asmr video
-
You woke up in the middle of,,,
Watching a movie on the couch with Spencer????
It was still daytime
Or so you thought
Bc the unsub pulled up
WITH A GUN
You don't have many things in life rn, but here's a list if things you do have, to cheer you up 😋
A lovely hole in your arm! V v useful for holding very small, thin, cups!!!
A v sad Spencer Reid! Comes with his own tears and despair!!! How fun!
And last but not least!
A wonderful speech from our sponsor!! //read: the unsub//
"Why must everything bad always happen to me! You two are very bad dolls! No one is a good doll, you're all useless and now I have to kill you >:("
Lmfao why does she sound like my bratty baby cousin
Anyways
"The FBI is at the door! Which one of you called them? You whore! It was probably you!"
First of all,,, how dare she
You didn't even THINK about other men in the 6 months your boyFRIEND ghosted you
So
Jokes on her
Second of all
You were bleeding out and Spencer was wiggling behind you
Probably a victory dance smh 😤
But then
GASP!!!
she went upstairs 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️
And you heard voices
Morgan!!! Hotch!!! *insert police's name*!!
Then you passed out bc
💥bloodloss💥
And when you woke up
Spencer was fine
Physically
But he was hunched over
"Yn I'm so sorry. I love you so much and I was so scared I'd lose you if I proposed too early, and now I'm probably going to lose you without even saying a word. Honey I love you, I love you so much-"
And you were like
Hold up
LET GO OF MY HAND MF YOU MAY BE SKINNY BUT YOUR STRONG WTF
Then
"Did you say purpose?"
And he was like
"Yes(?) "
And you kissed him for the first time in sixth months
"Yes I'll marry, now let go of my hand"
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neo-shitty · 3 years
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toffee!
yeah same, i follow some fic accs that occaisionally post smut and its like mmmmm is the fluff writing enough to balance the posts that gives me finger burn trying to scroll past it? but yeah thats probably the way to go
ah i wasnt there for the teaser but i can imagine that was tantalising. lmaoo yes but to be fair i do have a writing acc called channiesbigheart so... balancing it out? but i absolutely am whipped beyond belief. it was a TRAVESTY how COULD they have. yeah the b sides gave him more lines but they werent the ones that were performed over and over at stages. yessss the line distribution in this album is impeccable, im pretty sure the thunderous stuff was some of their best distribution
hehe i can understand that, sometimes putting someone in a situation so horrible it would be considered a violation of human rights is theraputic, ya know? mmmm the differences are a bit nuts, it was 14 degrees today and in less than a week its going to be 32 or smth. BROOO that would be legendary, i bet theyd treat their artists rlly well and have great music as well ahhh but its a lot of work adn commitment. yES that is a mood if ever i heard one.
its the same in australia as well, sadly, you have people who hold up harry styles and lil nas x for breaking gender roles and wearing make up adn steryotypical womens clothing (and keep in mind i have infinite respect for both of them theyre honestly doing so much for the de-dehumanising of gay people and those who wear whatever they want), and calling the kpop boys gay and other things for doing the same thing, when theyve been doing it for years and gotten no recognition smh its so tragic. yes, anyway YES ONLY 6 MONTHS I AM FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES A BBY STAN altho i considered myself a fully fledged stay like 2 days after i got into them cos i just spent all day researching and fixating. YES someone said it. it feels like theyre losing a huge chunk of why a lot of people liked their music in teh first place, which was that whole dna, dope, fire mood. and even doing bright songs is fine, liek they should do what they want but i feel liek the western music industry is so fucking toxic that they feel pressured into making these decisions. dont get me wrong, theyre good decisions from a business perspective, theyre getting record breaking sales but still. mmm yeah honestly yg just needs to get its shit together or get out
oooh! not into nct but i see a lot of him, he seems rlly talented. ahh yes another channie ult lmaoo i feel that, my list is growing in leaps and bounds as well. mmm yeah i think i will, im just going to try to save enough money :) mingi appealed to me mostly for the voice (like felix smh what is it with me and deep voiced bois) but also his soft visuals and the whole cutesy thing he has going on i rlly liked. yes i did get into them while he was on hiatus, but im still mostly a casual stan, ill listen to the album when it comes out but i dont think ill obsessively look over everything to do with it, like skz. HAH WE'RE MORE SIMILAR THAN I THOUGHT. lmaooo the thot line describes them perfectly, why are they all so damn attractive. especially seonghwa, like that man looks like a character from a book, cardan greenbriar vibes anyone? mmhmm! his vocals are absolutely insane. ty! yeah im excited altho idk how theyre every going to beat border:carnival, that shit was impeccable. ahh no stress, enjoy teh groups you stan atm!
ahh thank you so much, ill keep that in mind. hehe thats good! hopefully its soon :( ah ty, it means a lot. ill think abt that and hopefully talk abt it a little more :)
ah, no it was inside our gymnasium but to get to the other side of the stage you had to exit the building, go around the back and then enter through the other stage door. ah tysm! im glad too. mmm same, they baffle me. ;n; noo so sad :( ahh, thats um not smth i put on here, but im in high school so make of that what you will :)
thank you! ive done a majority of them, i just have maths, an english presentation and an economic assignment due now so im pretty much home free. yeah i feel like hes the epitome of here for you while being inescapably far away. haha she sounds like one of my friends. lmaooo why is that me. hmmm i feel like youve answered a lot of them in that answer so maybe just ateez, enha, txt and bp? if you stan them? :)
ahhh no problem at all, proud of you for managing to overcome the procrastination! progress! mmm thats good! ahh pls do let me know if you ever decide that, i cant promise i wont cry but do what you gotta do :)
<3 w.a. 🐺
hi! sorry for the late reply, i didn't know how to construct sentences yesterday e.e
yeah sometimes it's the perfect balance! i personally don't like fics that focus mainly on the filth? the plot has to carry the whole fic somehow and the smut is just something to add to the mix. also, i'll follow you on your writing blog! i keep forgetting to do so, damn it.
"sometimes putting someone in a situation so horrible it would be considered a violation of human rights is theraputic, ya know?" putting it this way just silenced me but yes. angst just feels more realistic. it isn't always happy endings irl so i tend to do it a lot.
falling into skz is so easy! it felt like that for me too. stanning them felt like getting sucked into a blackhole. also yes i agree. kpop is nothing but an industry after all and it runs on money so i get why they do what they do as well.
i suggest we not talk about haechan because i will literally not shut up but yes my boy is an ace :( chan is also sooooo easy to love. and the chan's rooms just solidified his place as ult. having something to look forward to every week at a time when my mental health was just plummeting into the depths of tartarus just helped me be stable. oh yeah, mingi's deep voice is indeed sexc. and he has some wack ass duality as well! and i think seonghwa was one of the people i nearly considered as bias just because of his visuals because wow that's one beautiful face. and true, idk how enha's going to beat border:carnival. i don't like all the tracks simply bc of taste preferenceds but i like more than one so i consider that a lot already.
bro that gym should've had some sort of a covered walk :// also i miss being in high school sO DAMN MUCH. but i still feel like i am because time stopped when quarantine started and i was still in senior year at the time.
my ateez bias is wooyoung! it wasn't that much of a shocker to my kpop stan irls because i was a jimin stan for the longest time. enhypen is jake and they kept pointing out that he looked like seungmin sometimes so it's like chan's aussie-ness with a tinge of seungmin (the other guy in my skz bias line, in case i haven't mentioned it). txt is huening kai! i find it hard to believe that he's my age because he looks a lot younger? o.O and he always looks good damn :(( sigh for blackpink it's lisa! i tend to bias the maknaes of yg groups, it's a pattern i've noticed but don't intentionally do!
DON'T WASTE YOUR TEARS OMFG. you can always reach me elsewhere if i like disappear off this blog.
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crimsonhcadache · 3 years
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      - ̗̀ NOW INTRODUCING:  IVES ❝ IVY ❞ SERRANO !
( DANNA PAOLA, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER, SCORPIO, 24 ) I just spotted IVES “IVY” SERRANO at the beach today. Don’t you know them? They live down by the TOWERS and usually hang out with the RICH KIDS & MUSICIANS cliques. From what I’ve heard, they can be DECEITFUL, but they’re also ADAPTIVE. I always think of them when i hear LAST LAUGH - FLETCHER and tend to associate them with STRAWBERRY CHAMPAGNE, A FRESH SET OF STILETTO NAILS, AND RED LINGERIE. ( tay, she/her, 22, est )
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full name: natalie rose serrano ives serrano nicknames: ivy, poison ivy faceclaim: danna paola voiceclaim: lana del rey birthday: november 1st, 1996  zodiac: scorpio sun, aries moon, gemini rising sexuality: bisexual occupation: influencer, instagram model, musician, scammer / thief positive traits: effervescent, bold, creative, charismatic, coquettish, intuitive, ambitious, alluring, adventurous, perceptive  negative traits: cantankerous, deceitful, envious, manipulative, dramatic, stubborn, narcissistic, materialistic, reckless, quick-tempered character inspos: maddy perez euphoria, jackie burkhart that 70’s show, blair waldorf gossip girl, margo hanson the magicians, every lana del rey song ever, lucrecia montesinos and cayetana pando elite, rosa diaz brooklyn nine nine, the entire rose family schitts creek, jen harding dead to me
- ̗̀♡ — › background !
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the main thing u need to know about ivy is that she is lying ! always !! her real name isn’t even actually ivy smh
she was born NATALIE ROSE SERRANO, to two working class parents in new york city. she knew from a young age that she was just supposed to be rich and famous, and that something had gotten mixed up somewhere and she was put in the wrong life.
in high school she got a scholarship to a fancy private catholic school, and that’s where she started to hone her craft of manipulating rich people. she would befriend all of the richest bitches at school and take advantage of everything that came along with it: vacations to far away places, stays in the family’s cabins and lake houses, even designer clothes that her friends no longer wanted and would gift to her, thinking it was their idea all along
as she grew up and got better at getting what she wanted out of people, her entitled attitude only got worse, driving a wedge between her and her parents, who kept waiting for her to develop a work ethic and kept being disappointed. a few months after she graduated high school, on her 18th birthday, her parents kicked her out of the house and cut her off, hoping that it would force her to grow up and take on any responsibility
but that plan backfired for them, her parents underestimating how truly stubborn natalie was. the day after her 18th, she wandered into a local strip club and got a job, figuring it’d be the easiest and quickest way to get some cash, and she took to it naturally and actually really enjoyed stripping
she started to embody an entirely new persona that she had created for herself, dancing under the name POISON IVY and telling everyone she was a trust fund baby that had been cut off from her rich parents, needing to dance to supplement her income, and her lies just continued to spiral out of control until she almost started to believe it herself. she had never told anyone at the club her real name, not even the other strippers, just going by “ivy” for a while.
she had learned to weaponize the power she had over people by being pretty and charming, using her looks for absolute evil and doing whatever it took to get money—from straight up pickpocketing, to making men buy her expensive gifts, to blackmailing, to sugar babying, to getting patrons wasted and manipulating them into tipping her absurd amounts… she did it all, very quickly earning enough to live the life she had always dreamed of, that she felt she deserved for whatever twisted reason.
she started posting on instagram with the name poison ivy generally just flaunting her carefree, extravagant life, often exaggerating or down right lying just to really dazzle her quickly growing audience
as she started to go down the influencer route, she realized she needed to do something to hide the skeletons in her closet ( the fact that she didn’t actually come from money and was making far more than was normal for even the best of dancers, a couple of small possession / shoplifting charges, and just generally anything that could lead people to her real identity ) so she started to tell people her name was ives, fully taking on the new identity. she even went so far as to make some of the people that had been closest to her sign NDAs about her real identity, making sure that no one could sell info about her should her plan of being famous work out
she also moved out to california to run away from everyone in the city that was starting to catch on to what she was doing, basically doing all the same shit but now in a New Place.. this was about 3-4 years ago, so she’s been in sunhollow for a while now doing the whole influencer thing !!
and it did work out !! at first she was definitely buying followers/likes to boost her likelihood of brand sponsorships, but eventually she faked it until she made it and actually attained influencer status. she then used her newfound internet fame ( and some classic blackmailing ) to get herself a record deal 
she also started sleeping around with pretty much any famous person she could, having very public relationships and breakups and scandals to keep her name in the press, which ultimately lead to more exposure/people following her, if only to see what she did next, which lead to even more sponsorships
eventually she stopped dancing and just focused on her influencing and more recently ( like... less than 6 months ago recently ) her music career. but she never stopped sugar babying and scamming rich stupid men, still very much using that as a means to keep up her lifestyle. she’s also done a few modeling things, but it’s mostly just like catalog work or being the face of a trendy campaign bc she’s way too short for the runway
she also recently made an only fans account bc she was bored one night and was mostly planning on posting once as a joke but then she made a bunch of money / got a bunch of subscribers and was like oh word ? i can do that ! so she will post on there from time to time but she’s not like… super serious about it ya know ? also her music label is big mad at her for it bc they’re like bUt yOuR rEpUtAtIoN and she’s like yeah.. but my bank account ? also it’s no secret she used to be a stripper so she rly just.. doesn’t give a fuck ! 
so basically she’s jus here making money being pretty and pulling a long ass scam on… everyone
- ̗̀♡ — › personality / headcannons !
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she’s a real two faced bitch… she has perfected the art of becoming whoever she thinks other people want her to be, quickly adapting her personality to get whatever she wants
she’s usually pretty friendly actually, really charming and outgoing and just trying to have a good time
she has a pretty short temper tho and holds grudges like you wouldn’t believe, so once you’re on her bad side… good luck lol she is so ruthless
she’s like… deeply, deeply selfish and will always put herself first, but she’s so manipulative that she can make people do things that they think are their idea, but it’s really just something she planted in their head so it’s not always obvious
also very spoiled and will throw a mf fit if she doesn’t get her way or u say no to her
always going out !! always doing the most !! she’s the type to show up randomly at ur door at 8pm on a tuesday with a bottle of tequila and make u party with her whether u like it or not
she’s a lot smarter than she lets on sometimes, like she knows people expect her to be stupid and ditzy and shallow and she’ll let them underestimate her when it’s beneficial
always looks perfectly put together— her nails are always meticulously manicured, usually w stiletto shaped acrylics, and you’ll literally never see her outside her house without makeup and a perfectly composed outfit. it’s also a rare occasion that she’s not wearing at least six inch heels, trying to make up for bein so mf short ( she’s 5’3 )
she talks A Lot but is really good at saying a lot of words without actually saying anything, like you can be best friends with her for months and then just be like “i don’t actually know a single thing about her”
always up to no good and sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong !! she’s always got some sort of scheme going or getting in to some kind of drama
v much a hoe and v much proud of it, will sleep w just about anyone especially if she can get something out of it
also a serial dater !! she’s always hoping in and out of relationships and being rumored to be with a dozen people at once
most definitely calls paparazzi on herself, especially when she’s around other famous ppl but will never admit it
compulsive liar, she will literally lie about the dumbest things like she doesn’t even need a reason to lie she jus.. does
she has a luxury two bedroom apartment that she lives alone in ( one room is kinda a guest room but also mostly just a giant closet ) in the towers and the gag is she doesn’t even know how much her rent is bc one of her random sugar daddies pays her rent.. her power tbh 
- ̗̀♡ — › wanted connections !
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hookups / flings / one night stands / fwbs all that shit !!
exes on bad terms … gimme drama pls
enemies / ppl she’s stolen from maybe… she would definitely deny it and say they’re jus jealous of her or smth stupid but that could make the feud worse
party pals !! like i said she goes out a lot and always somehow manages to make new friends and drag them into her shenanigans
on again / off again exes… i want the Angst so bad..
shallow friendships / influencer friends like they play it up a lot for insta bc they both have a pretty big following but they dont really... like each other that much ?? like they definitely seem to be a lot closer than they really are
pr relationships this could be past or present !! in the same vein as the last one except they pretend to date ( or maybe just act like they’re gonna date but never actually do ?? like to fuel rumors ) 
unlikely friends !! like ppl who are nice and sweet and Pure, she could use a lil good energy in her life
situationship / flirtationship like they’re super flirty and maybe hook up a couple times but everyone assumes they’re dating or like gonna date but they’re jus vibing. bonus points if one or both of them actually has feelings but can’t tell if they’re just friends / casually hooking up or if it could turn into something more.. im a slut for some mutual pining !!
neighbors … mb they hate her for always being loud n throwing mini parties OR maybe they join in
mean girl rivalries !!
someone she’s taking advantage of / stealing from without them knowing .. oof
partner in crime !!!
one sided crushes or like someone she’s stringing along smh
sugar daddies mb 😇
someone to put her in her mf place JDKDKD like they call her out on her bs and are like “i see what ur doing bitch stay away from my friends” type thing
idk anything really !! gimme all the messy plots ok :~)
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allow me to rant about the only thing that has been in my brain for the past two months and that is doll customizing babeyyyyy
i know there’s a 90% chance that you wont give a Shit about any of this but here we go anyways
SO first you gotta choose a doll. preferably one with a high range of motion to avoid creating new joints or having annoying limitations like not having elbow joints for some fucking reason. what the fuck mattel. give monster high dolls back their ball jointed shoulders and elbow joints. smh
the most common dolls ive seen used as bases are monster high and ever after high. most customs ive seen are highly stylized so the stylized face molds work well for those types of dolls but dolls like barbies are good for when you want a more realistic face-ups.
once you’ve got your base picked out you gotta wipe that bitch’s face off with like. acetone or nail polish remover or something strong like that. you can also use acetone to shrink doll heads which is cool as hell imo. n e way once the face is wiped you gotta chop off the hair and remove the hair plugs from the inside. ive seen this done several ways but the easiest and most common way ive seen is to dunk the head into boiling water for ~30 seconds until it gets squishy and malleable. once you’ve got the head back, you can use pliers (i think tweezers would work in a pinch) to pull out the hair plugs which are kinda icky because theyre covered in glue and other gross shit. ew
now you must decapitate the doll. dunk em back in the boiling water to soften them back up then just tug the head off. the neck pegs look funky and are usually a different color than the body so thats cool ig
once the head’s off, you can start the face-up which is basically just giving the doll a new face using stuff like watercolor pencils, acrylic paint, gouache, and a whole lot of other stuff. hell ive seen people use person makeup on these dolls.
next,,,,, hair. there’s about twenty million ways to do hair from gluing yarn wefts to sewing to rerooting with purchased nylon doll hair or yarn wefts but i’m gonna talk about the most common one ive seen which is rerooting and gluing.
before you can reroot, you need doll hair. which, as i mentioned, can be bought at stores like the doll planet or made at home with yarn in literally any color. have fun with it! make rainbow hair or something idk
to make homemade wefts, you take some acrylic yarn, cut it twice as long as you want the hair to be (keep in mind you can cut and style the hair once it’s been rerooted), fold them in half, and tie it to something sturdy like a wire coat hanger for the next step.
once you’ve got your yarn tied to your hanger, use a pet brush and brush the yarn until it’s wispy and looks like hair. then take a straightening iron and iron the weft flat. then remove from the hanger and boom. hair wefts. ta-da
to reroot the wefts onto the head, use a rerooting tool (which can be as simple as a needle with the eye cut at angle) (just google it please i’m shit at descriptions)) to poke small sections of the hair into the head. you can use the pre-existing rooting holes for your own reroot as they’re usually pretty reliable. to reroot, take a small length of you doll hair (about 10-15 strands), loop it in half, and put the middle of the loop into the reroot tool. poke the end of the tool with the hair on it into the pre-existing hole and remove the tool. the hair *should* stay in and fill up that plug!! also remember to plug thickly at the hairline and part of the hair where it's most noticeable. it doesnt matter as much in the center of the head as that’s not usually visible on the doll. once you’ve rerooted, squeeze in strong glue through the neck hole and squish around the head to make sure it covers all the plugs and secures them in place. then pour hot water onto the head to make the hair lay flat for styling later.
also, you can reroot yarn directly into the head to make thicker, more textured hairstyles. and since the yarn is thicker, you dont need to glue the inside of the head for the hair to stay in place!!
if youre not doing body modifications (which are also cool as hell) then it’s time for clothes but clothes are boring and i like body mods more so i’m gonna rant about them instead
the material ive seen most doll artists use is apoxie sculpt, which is like play doh on steroids. it comes in two parts which you gotta mix together for some reason. why dont they sell it pre-mixed. what was the reason. also once it’s dry it’s super super strong and you can sand it, drill into it, paint it, and all kinds of stuff. very nice and i want some for myself.
you can use hand saws and drills and shit to whack off doll limbs to make stuff like digitigrade legs or new joints. also dont be afraid to use other mismatching doll parts when customizing like heads and bodies and forearms and hands and shit. it literally does not matter if youre gonna recolor the doll anyways so have fun with it. make frankenstein’s doll if youre feeling spicy
accessories my beloved. stuff like tiny beads and clay baubles and shit will literally transform the entire doll plus they’re adorable and multi-purpose
i suppose i must talk about clothes now. ah well. you can find great clothing patterns if youre new to customizing on other customizer’s etsy shops and probably google although those will probably be lower quality than paid pattern pieces. and keep in mind that if it exists as clothing irl, you can likely make it doll-sized. there are literally no limits to your clothing options as long as you can execute your idea.
the once all your components have been made, you can assemble the doll again!! and finally see what all the parts look like together!! very cool 10/10 stars.
ight that wraps up my doll rant. i could really go into more detail on certain parts but thats a whole other rant for a whole other day smh. sorry for fucking flooding your inbox ender ahaha……………. you asked for this
little did you know that dolls have been one of my favorite things since like ever. if i can read a 25 chapter long fanfic i can read this B)
mattel definitely fucked up by completely ruining MH doll designs and just stopping EAH, alot of their profits most likely came from people who collect and customize dolls and by changing MH doll designs/Stopping EAH dolls they 1. most likely lost a small (or big if we're not jus talking people who customize dolls) part of their profit and 2. made it harder for doll customizers to make dolls/get commissions out rather quickly because they probably have to waste more time making joints or learning how to make joints.
EAH/MH dolls (specifically MH dolls) had AMAZING MODELS because there was so much variety with height, face shapes, etc (my favorite molds had to be the short/tall dolls and the cat molds because of the tails) and doll customizers really went all out with enhancing a molds unique features. The only "downside" abt MH dolls is that they (or atleast most)(from what i remember)) had slimmer faces but wider eyes while EAH dolls have wider faces with slimmer smaller which left a canvas for the face and not the eyes (and vice versa for MH dolls)
I've never seen any videos where a barbie is customized (maybe because i absolutely despised barbies at the time) so I'll definitely have to check those out but they seem to be good for realistic makeovers. I've seen like like semi realistic makeovers for EAH/MH dolls that were pretty good too tho (pretty sure mostly EAH dolls since yk MH dolls were used for creature makeovers while most EAH dolls weren't)
yeah i was always amazed by the head shrinking with acetone. honestly i still am?? idunno i have no idea how that chemical bullshit works. Ive seen a few of uh makeovers that just pain over the face (in multiple layers ofcourse) but that's usually when they're painting the entire body a different colour (again usually when they're turning a doll into a funky little baby man). I've also seen a few that just chop the hair off and take out the hair plugs yk without uuh like softening the head or just go straight for the hair plugs after taking off the head (i used to do that it was funny to me??). i always really liked when they used watercolour pencils or just colour pencils in general to draw/sketch on the face cause like wow ur drawing on ur doll without ruining it?? kinda epic maybe even poggers and pogchamp?? oh god my brain is failing wjshsmsj.
Watching them putting the hair back on the doll was, other than the face stuff, was the BEST part for me. Favorite type of hair was iuuuuuh was either thick yarn or brushed out yarn. Literally worship the people that would reroot the hair, theyre the most patience people on this earth!! it's literally insane but i guess that's what happens when you've been doing that for years? you guess kinda get used to it. when they put glue into the head does it just become stiff?? like it's just a clump of dried glue or does it like..hollow out again??
dude you literally cannot convince me most of the supplies used for doll makeovers. APOXIE CLAY LOOKS SO FECKING GOOD. its edible and i will die on that hill. The body mods are literally so amazing!!!!! it's so impressive how theyre able to imagine certain features THEN LIKE ACTUALLY MAKE IT LOOK ACCURATE TO WHAT THEY WANTED TO LOOK LIKE AFTER LIKE ON TRY (or many yk trial and error is very necessary for..everything). Absolutely loved when doll customizers would saw off a dolls legs and use different ones or just completely get rid of the torso to use a different one. it's like uuh that one big guy that's mismatched and sewn together. very cool. The accessories are so fun!! just small little details you seen really need but can add because it's your feckin doll!! I used to be absolutely obsessed over the doll clothes i would find on etsy, so much so that i started sewing shitty shirts and dresses for my uh "customized" dolls (they were absolute HORRORS idk WHY my mom let me feck up my dolls like that).
Thank you for this!! i haven't been able to talk about any of my interests for a while and this just really made me happy!!
Question fer u my fellow MH/EAH enthusiast: what was your favorite MH/EAH movie/episode and doll series. Mine was The fusion dolls (MH obvi) and that MH movie "Haunted" cause we got to know more about Spectra :D
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ivyisms · 3 years
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       - ̗̀ NOW INTRODUCING:  IVES ❝ IVY ❞ SERRANO !
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( DANNA PAOLA, 24, CISFEMALE ) I just bumped into IVES "IVY" SERRANO the other day while walking down NORTH Kingsboro, where SHE lives. I hear they can be SEDUCTIVE and MANIPULATIVE, but when I think of them I immediately think about ROSE PETAL BLUNTS, STRAWBERRY CHAMPAGNE, AND SIX INCH STILETTOS.
hi hello it’s tay back again w another one of my demon spawn muses !! apparently chaotic bisexuals w fcs from elite is just my brand™️ but anyway ivy is probably my favorite oc i’ve ever made so i have A Lot to say abt this messy bitch !! if u go H E R E i have a very long stats/bio page with pretty much everything i could think of BUT i will try to summarize the main points semi-concisely
- ̗̀♡ — › background !
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the main thing u need to know about ivy is that she is lying ! always !! her real name isn’t even actually ivy smh
she was born natalie rose serrano, to two working class parents in new york city. she knew from a young age that she was just supposed to be rich and famous, and that something had gotten mixed up somewhere and she was put in the wrong life.
in high school she got a scholarship to a fancy private catholic school, and that’s where she started to hone her craft of manipulating rich people. she would befriend all of the richest bitches at school and take advantage of everything that came along with it: vacations to far away places, stays in the family’s cabins and lake houses, even designer clothes that her friends no longer wanted and would gift to her, thinking it was their idea all along
as she grew up and got better at getting what she wanted out of people, her entitled attitude only got worse, driving a wedge between her and her parents, who kept waiting for her to develop a work ethic and kept being disappointed. a few months after she graduated high school, on her 18th birthday, her parents kicked her out of the house and cut her off, hoping that it would force her to grow up and take on any responsibility
but that plan backfired for them, her parents underestimating how truly stubborn natalie was. the day after her 18th, she wandered into a local strip club and got a job, figuring it’d be the easiest and quickest way to get some cash, and she took to it naturally and actually really enjoyed stripping
she started to embody an entirely new persona that she had created for herself, dancing under the name poison ivy and telling everyone she was a trust fund baby that had been cut off from her rich parents, needing to dance to supplement her income, and her lies just continued to spiral out of control until she almost started to believe it herself. she had never told anyone at the club her real name, not even the other strippers, just going by “ivy” for a while.
she had learned to weaponize the power she had over people by being pretty and charming, using her looks for absolute evil and doing whatever it took to get money—from straight up pickpocketing, to making men buy her expensive gifts, to blackmailing, to sugar babying, to getting patrons wasted and manipulating them into tipping her absurd amounts... she did it all, very quickly earning enough to live the life she had always dreamed of, that she felt she deserved for whatever twisted reason.
she started posting on instagram with the name poison ivy generally just flaunting her carefree, extravagant life, often exaggerating or down right lying just to really dazzle her quickly growing audience
as she started to go down the influencer route, she realized she needed to do something to hide the skeletons in her closet ( the fact that she didn’t actually come from money and was making far more than was normal for even the best of dancers, a couple of small possession / shoplifting charges, and just generally anything that could lead people to her real identity ) so she started to tell people her name was ives, fully taking on the new identity. she even went so far as to make some of the people that had been closest to her sign NDAs about her real identity, making sure that no one could sell info about her should her plan of being famous work out
and it did work out !! at first she was definitely buying followers/likes to boost her likelihood of brand sponsorships, but eventually she faked it until she made it and actually attained influencer status
she also started sleeping around with pretty much any famous person she could, having very public relationships and breakups and scandals to keep her name in the press, which ultimately lead to more exposure/people following her, if only to see what she did next, which lead to even more sponsorships
she’s probably been in kingsboro for a few years, living in a super fancy one bedroom apartment that she definitley doesn’t pay for ( she doesn’t even know how much her rent is tbh )
eventually she stopped dancing and just focused on her influencing or whatever, but she never stopped sugar babying and scamming rich stupid men, still very much using that as a means to keep up her lifestyle. she’s also done a few modeling things, but it’s mostly just like catalog work or being the face of a trendy campaign bc she’s way too short for the runway
she also recently made an only fans account bc she was bored one night and was mostly planning on posting once as a joke but then she made a bunch of money / got a bunch of subscribers and was like oh word ? i can do that ! so she will post on there from time to time but she’s not like... super serious about it ya know ?
so basically she’s jus here making money being pretty and pulling a long ass scam on... everyone
- ̗̀♡ — › personality !
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she’s a real two faced bitch... she has perfected the art of becoming whoever she thinks other people want her to be, quickly adapting her personality to get whatever she wants
she’s usually pretty friendly actually, really charming and outgoing and just trying to have a good time
she has a pretty short temper tho and holds grudges like you wouldn’t believe, so once you’re on her bad side... good luck lol she is so ruthless
she’s like... deeply, deeply selfish and will always put herself first, but she’s so manipulative that she can make people do things that they think are their idea, but it’s really just something she planted in their head so it’s not always obvious
also very spoiled and will throw a mf fit if she doesn’t get her way or u say no to her
always going out !! always doing the most !! she’s the type to show up randomly at ur door at 8pm on a tuesday with a bottle of tequila and make u party with her whether u like it or not
she’s a lot smarter than she lets on sometimes, like she knows people expect her to be stupid and ditzy and shallow and she’ll let them underestimate her when it’s beneficial 
always looks perfectly put together— her nails are always meticulously manicured, usually w stiletto shaped acrylics, and you’ll literally never see her outside her house without makeup and a perfectly composed outfit. it’s also a rare occasion that she’s not wearing at least six inch heels, trying to make up for bein so mf short ( she’s 5’3 )
she talks A Lot but is really good at saying a lot of words without actually saying anything, like you can be best friends with her for months and then just be like “i don’t actually know a single thing about her”
always up to no good and sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong !! she’s always got some sort of scheme going or getting in to some kind of drama
v much a hoe and v much proud of it, will sleep w just about anyone especially if she can get something out of it
also a serial dater !! she’s always hoping in and out of relationships and being rumored to be with a dozen people at once
most definitely calls paparazzi on herself, especially when she’s around other famous ppl but will never admit it
compulsive liar, she will literally lie about the dumbest things like she doesn’t even need a reason to lie she jus.. does
- ̗̀♡ — › wanted connections !
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hookups / flings / one night stands / fwbs all that shit !!
exes on bad terms ... gimme drama pls
enemies / ppl she’s stolen from maybe... she would definitely deny it and say they’re jus jealous of her or smth stupid but that could make the feud worse
party pals !! like i said she goes out a lot and always somehow manages to make new friends and drag them into her shenanigans
on again / off again exes... i want the Angst so bad..
unlikely friends !! like ppl who are nice and sweet and Pure, she could use a lil good energy in her life
neighbors ... mb they hate her for always being loud n throwing mini parties OR maybe they join in
mean girl rivalries !!
someone she’s taking advantage of / stealing from without them knowing .. oof
partner in crime !!!
one sided crushes or like someone she’s stringing along smh
sugar daddies mb 😇
someone to put her in her mf place JDKDKD like they call her out on her bs and are like “i see what ur doing bitch stay away from my friends” type thing
idk anything really !! gimme all the messy plots ok :~)
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aurora-daily · 5 years
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AURORA’s Q&A during Spotify Listening Party
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Q: Hello Aurora. Is „In Bottles“ related to „In Boxes“ because in „In Bottles“ you are singing underneath her bed and when she is lying in bed maybe she is laying on her spine. Is that the story behind that phrase ? ❤ You are the Best and i Love you ❤
A: they are both about the same lady... that is really well spotted. It has a really strange meaning to it. she wants to be close to people in a very strange way... !
Q: Aurora what is your favourite song on the album?
A: it changes from day to day.. right now its Soulless Creatures. because of its meaning.
Q: Where do you record the álbum?
A: i did it in bergen last november with Magnus <3
Q: Can we expect Step 3, or it's the end of "A Different Kind" era?
A: this is definitely not the last step... but i cannot tell you yet when it will be released.. !
Q: when is the time of day/night you write music the most?
A: i definitely have the most ideas at night, or when im about to fall asleep, sometimes it can keep me awake for hours later than i should stay awake.. but its worth it.
Q: Will you travel to Vietnam???
A: YES
Q: Are you singing in Frozen 2?
A: i might be heard in the wind…
Q: your birth name represents just your music, the universe, peace ... have you thought how would you call yourself artistically if you had another birth name? Which one identifies you?
A: ive always felt that my name fits me so well, and i remember when i learnt what it meant when i was young that i took it like a little mission in life. to create a little light in the world, in one way we all should
Q: Aurora, I meet you the last month and I gave you a skirt, I just wanna say sorry cause it was too big, And I send you a message in your private (sorry)Facebook horse account, I need and advice
A: i love it!! im going to make it a bit smaller, haha !thank you so much!
Q: Do you make your own clothes?
A: yes i make them with my sister Viktoria who knows how to sew!!! i like to know where the clothes comes from, and with her i know the source of the clothes, which feels very good! i like to wear whatever feels good, so its good to have someone who can turn my dreams into real clothes!
Q: Tell us about your language in ADKOH single... what does it mean?
A: its my own language, and one day i will tell you. its based around its core which is human emotions. i want to make it easier for us to discuss our emotions with the world!
Q: Thank you for supporting us - LGBT. I must admit that it is very useful in Poland. We fight a homophobic government and you give us power
A: that moves my heart so much to hear. im sending you so much love. and that is just the beauty of love - it is so much bigger than us. anyone who dares raise a fist against it will always loose the fight. love will win <3 always.
Q: I have found that this album is best fully realized while being outside. I've been running and interpreptly dancing around my neighborhood everyday and it's transportive
A: i love this so much `3
Q: What was your favourite song to produce?📝🤔
A: i loved producing Soulless Creatures and Appletree. ADKOH was also a journey of its own kind. very lovey. Ive used samples from my life, and mixed them with the beauty of electronic music. A bit of both worlds, living in harmony.
Q: How long did it take to right this album? Where did you write?
A: ITs taken me two years to work on all the songs from both Step I and II. and producing Step II took a whole month, with no sleep and long days me and Magnus Skylstad made the whole thing with some help from a norwegian artist called Askjell (on Daydreamer and ADKOH) we cried so much. and laughed. so many emotions. very very beautiful.
Q: Why is 8 your favourite number?
A: i cannot really explain it. i just feel its right. i have a very strange relationship with numbers, i need them to be right. and 8 and 11 have always made me feel so good. their both the same when upside down and mirrored which i love. very reliable.
Q: Can we expect some songs in Norwegian?
A: yes...!
Q: We know in AMDGMAAF you had a sample of you hugging a tree, have you sampled anything unusual/interesting and put it in this album?👀
A: ive sampled all kinds of stuff, my breath, rain, steps, books, washing machines, crushing things, animals, chewing... etc. its so fun. i love working that way. On soulless creatures i have the sound of me tapping my own chest to my heart. <3
Q: "fear not, fear not when you go" that part gets me every time (and i have listened to this song like 100 times)
A: <3 <3 <3 !!!
Q: how do you keep up with all the questions? hahah
A: i dont!! hahaha
Q: do you write lyrics for other artists?
A: yes sometimes i do!!
Q: The symbols in adkoh are a new language right? But are they letters, more like a code, or it's literally a new language where symbols can be a entire word?
A: their all a part of my own language, one day i will show you all of it.
Q: I think your albums are literature, it is really interesting how there is a connection between all of them. From awakening to mothership, is there any plans of releasing a book some day?
A: i will x !!
Q: are there any more music videos coming?
A: Y to the E to the S
Q: I know some people in Tromso but theyre a bit strange. Is everyone from Tromso strange?
A: yes.
Q: Everyone is talking so quickly, I guess I'll shout into the void :p If you get a chance to read this Aurora, I know that you know how many lives you've touched so I'm not special for saying that you as a person, as well as your music, have saved my life. You're so good at making us all feel like your best friends, but I know what it's like to not be a very social person and it's scary. You're so brave and wonderfully peculiar in your heart. please stay true to yourself.
A: thank you so so much for these beautiful words x i promise i will. forever and ever.
Q: the choir goes SO GOOD with in bottles YOUR MIND
A: !!!!!!!!!
Q: Your numbers are 8 & 11? Very cute, in spirit these are good numbers, one means positivity and the other is financial abundance
A: i dont believe any human being could know the true spiritual meaning of them, they belong with the gods, or the trees. everything that we dont know x
Q: .I want to know about that percussion sound that's in a different kind of human...it sounds so different but really "authentic", I know that sounds weird
A: i am really into strange percussion. and im a percussionist myself so i tend to focus a lot on the rhythms. i had the beat for this song in my mind days before even writing it. and i wanted it to sound like something that doesnt exist from before. like ship. the mothership.
Q: What's your patronus?
A: a big wolf. <3
Q: I feel like an ant!
A: me too.
Q: Which song are you most excited to play live that you haven’t already?💃🏼🎶
A: appletree and daydreamer. so full of energy.
Q: Hei Aurora ^_^ En hilsen fra *nesten* nabokommunen din, Kvam! Jeg så deg for første gang på Bygdalarm i 2016. Jeg lytter til musikken din hver dag, den åpner dører, gir meg friske pust. Jeg ville egentlig bare si at jeg er så stolt over deg, selv om jeg aldri ordentlig har "møtt" og snakket med deg. Jeg føler du lager sanger som representerer en helt spesiell del av det å være menneske. Å ha et åpent sinn, se ting som andre ikke ser. Vokste selv opp midt i en skog, tekstene går rett til hjertet!
A: tusen tusen takk. dette var helt nydelig.
Q: Where did you get the inspiration to make "Apple Tree", not only the lyrics, but the sound of it since it's different from anything you've ever made.
A: i dont really like to put any walls around myself, so that day i felt like i wanted to do whatever made me feel nice. and i felt very playful! i have always liked to make different kind of music, like The seed and animal, it happened quiet and under the water etc. its nice to try lots of different expressions. thats what its all about.
Q: I just want to thank you. I've recently been diagnosed with ME, also known as chronic fatuige syndrome. Your songs fill me with strength and energy when I listen to them<3
A: that is so good to hear. I am so sorry youve gotten this extra thing to deal with in your life. im sending you lots of strength. and love.
Q: Do you believe in aliens? I do!!
A: of course!!!!
Q: Have you ever listened to a Black Metal band?
A: yes i love it so much. i love Gojira, Mastodon, Tool, System of A down and Perfect circle too. very nice.
Q: what do you think is the most important message behind your album? <3
A: I think all of them are. The fight for love, the fight for nature. the whole thing about our consuming, and the way we dont appreciate what we have. about having respect for eachother and mother earth. its about so many things that i care about. maybe the environmental focus is one of the most important message right now, and that we all can save the world together. In appletree its all about that. We. can. save. the. world.
Q: Is your language an alien language and are you actually an alien?
A: i am an alien yes, but i belong here on earth too. my language is al alien language that i have made x
Q: Just want to let you know that your music is well-loved in Asia even many of us don't speak English,your music is no boundaries,can we except your Asia tour soon ?
A: my dream is to go to asia. so yes. YES
Q: i don’t use spotify and i couldn’t get this stream to work so i deadass created an account and bought premium for this smh i love u aurorie
A: Oh My GOD!! really!_! that is amazing. thank you for doing all that to be here with us !
Q: Mothership is so important and special to me because last year my best friend committed suicide and it makes me feel like she's gone to a safer place ✨🌿💗
A: i am so sorry to hear. The Mothership will take those people, who felt like the world was a too dark place to be. Its a horrible thing when people think that is the only way out. Sending love to you and the family who lost a loved one. She is in a safe place now.
Q: Have you ever attended piano lessons, can you read notes, or rather you are self-taught
A: i dont know anything about music theory, im self taught!
Q: Aurora, I'm a painter. And I can not get my paintbrushes and paint something without listening to their songs. You inspire me a lot. That's the reason I can do everything I do. Thank you for that.
A: aaaaahhhhh. thank you so much for letting me inspire you. thank you. keep painting!
Q: aurora do you sometimes feel like talking to trees and plants? cause i do sometimes and they are beautiful creatures! they have a very caring and loving energy!!
A: i do too!!!
HEllo hELlo you lovely people. I am really trying my best to answer all of you. but its as difficult as building a castle of melted chocolate. Soon the chat will close, but before i go. i want to say thank you to all of you. you are such great people, and i am so happy to share this album with you. thank you for diving into it <3
thank you all for coming!!! will stay for 11 minutes more until the chat closes!!! JUST HAD TO SAY THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUU
Q: What is the emotionally hardest song for you to sing from your new album?
A: i think Dance on the moon. x
Q: I seen in a fanwiki page that you like minecraft, DO YOU PLAY MINECRAFT???
A: i love it so much. i always play on creative mode though!!
Q: Do you intend to write a book someday? We would love to read it!🥚
A: i will, and i think its so nice that you are all interested in me doing so!
Q: The beat from apple tree has any inspiration from olodum ? (A Brazilian type of beat )
A: YES! and hip hop too. i felt it deserved a very alive and bad-*** groove.
Q: Have you dealt with anxiety and/or depression?
A: Yes i have. its a long time ago since i was depressed, its so strange how ******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************!!
Q: Are there any songs that almost didn’t make it to the album?👀🎶
A: actually daydreamer and dance on the moon just barely made it!!!
Q: what helped you get through the lows of your life?
A: making music. and giving myself time to heal. ive never felt guilty for being a bit out of ... tune with myself. being an emotional human being is hard, but at least you can always make yourself feel better by finding an outlet. or talking. or crying. just let yourself feel, dont escape from it. then suddently youll feel better one day.
Q: AURORA THE FATE OF THIS WORLD DEPENDS ON YOUR ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION!!!!!!! what is your favourite primate? is it the humble chimpanzee which would align with my favourite? or perhaps the solid orangutang. i am curious to see
A: haha this is so funny. i love the orangutang.
Q: You’ve talked sometimes about there are some things on the industry and big companies that you don’t like. How do you deal with it? How is your relationship with big production companies?
A: just remember to always follow my instinct. <3
and thank you for all the birthday wishes!!!!
Q: AURORA'S FANS ARE THE SWEETEST!! I LOVE YALL AND AURORA SO MUCH!! YOU MAKE THIS PLACE SUCH A SAFE PLACE TO SHARE, AND TO THE FANS TRYING TO PUT DANCE ON MOON ON NASA'S PLAYLIST, YALL ARE THE B ES T!!!!!!
A: I KNOW!!
Q: Aurora, Is Star wars still on you phone ring?
A: hahah yes!!
Q: Do you read the messages we write on instagram
A: yes <3
Q: Aurora your a inspiration and a safe place for a lot of LGBT+ that listen to your song, especially me, thanks for all the love you spread across the world
A: thank you so much! <3 sending you love. love love love love love
[credits for this recap!]
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ssweeneys · 4 years
Text
i’m having a REALLY bad day
or really past couple of weeks where work is concerned and i just wanna vent bc you know sometimes people out there in the working world understand ya know???
its long, beware. idek if i’ll keep this up its more so for me to just let it out.
so like i’m an office admin for a company (we’ll leave it nameless for protection purposes) and like i supervise receptionists for my office so i’m kinda an office manager but not technically? if that makes sense.
anyway. people these days just don’t want to fucking work like EVER and like to start jobs and then up and vanish to collect that unemployment which to me is really just dumb since there are rules to it in every state and nine times out of ten you’re making like 60% of what your normal paycheck would be and thats surely not enough to live on, so like ??? i don’t get it.
there’s been a constant rotation of receptionists come and go over the last couple of months and two girls who work for me have stepped in on numerous occasions. one lady is in her 60s and doesn’t know anything about computers and is kind of dense?? to say the least. nothing against old ladies. i actually find a majority of them cute or hilarious bc they say what they think and dont give a f*ck who it offends and sometimes that blunt honesty is refreshing and you just need it in a world where people bullshit you 24/7 to further themselves for selfish gain and yaddy yada
anyways.. over recent weeks she’s become more and more intolerable to deal with. i ask her to do things and she gives me attitude and its like the simplest of things.. like email this person, make sure you let this person know they got a package, etc, etc. she can’t do even the most basic of tasks without screwing up. her attitude is just atrocious.
and due to people coming and going i’ve had to alter our schedule a lot. recently, one girl requested off so i adjusted the older lady’s hours (lets call her--carla) mind you carla only works 1 day a week and i’ve been super generous in giving her the entire week of christmas off so -- yeah.
anyways the girl who requested off (we’ll call her nicole) told me she didnt need those days off anymore and so i fixed the schedule one more time to her original days/hours.
now, i print off the schedule every time a change is made and whoever is at the reception desk i tell them to let the other girls know and post it right by the computer they sit at every day so theres no excuse for anyone to say i didnt make them aware. well carla is not the brightest bulb as we already established and she doesnt pay attention so we pretty much have to coddle her apparently and make sure she understands (although its pointless bc she doesnt no matter how hard you try to explain something to her) ANYWAYS she comes in on nicoles day when she wasnt supposed to anymore bc the schedule was fixed, posted, etc. and she gets mad when i ask her why shes there. and yes, i understand that the rotation has fucked us all over and up in so many ways. she is not the only victim here. this has been stressing me out left and right and to no end for MONTHSSSSS. so like i get it? i’m sympathetic to that. i understand the confusion and frustration, i’m right there with them.
HOWEVER, because she’s annoyed/mad/whatever she gives me attitude all day yesterday and is flagrantly disrespectful. i’m her supervisor, regardless is someone upsets you, act professional.
but she doesn’t. we know that. or at least I DO. anyhow.. she’s mad. she’s pissed off right? she’s got an attitude. she sees the new schedule, she brings it to me in my office and asks if its the correct one for tomorrow WHICH SHE IS ON!!! let me make that clear. she was on. she asks if its correct, i’m in the middle of composing an email so i take a moment to respond ‘yes’ she huffs, storms off and goes “you know what? nevermind” i’m like.... okay?? i brush it off. i’ve been brushing off her poor attitude all damn day and i dont say A THING. BC I GET IT. I UNDERSTAND. IM SYMPATHETIC TO THAT. we all have bad days. we all get a little frustrated sometimes. we’re human, yeah?
yeah. right. ok.
so then like... carla is working the morning shift for nicole. both carla and nicole showed up. carla pitched a fit bc she came in and was already there and didnt want to go home so nicole was so sweet about it and said thats okay, she can work i understand. bc even though nicole is like half her age, she’s MATURE.
at this point i dont even understand why carla is so upset? she got to stay. she got the hours. she’ll be making the money. all is good right? WRONG.
when the next girl comes in for the afternoon shift, i over hear carla telling her about the mishap that happened that morning (yesterday) and my office is literally maybe 6-7 feet from the front desk so i can hear EVERYTHING that goes on. i mean this is my job. i’m pretty much in charge of making sure the office is running, our employees are happy, etc.
so yeah i over hear carla telling this girl that and i quote “yeah nicole came in this morning and the schedule was switched around and i stayed because i was already here. (then something unintelligible I cant make out bc her voice lowers) you know, it really pisses me off that this keeps happening.”
SHE SAID THIS. TO A NEW GIRL. MAKING ME, NICOLE, EVERYONE LOOK BAD EVEN THOUGH SHE GOT WHAT SHE WANTED, NICOLE APOLOGIZED, I APOLOGIZED FOR THE MISHAP, IVE DONE EVERYTHING FOR THIS LADY TO PACIFY HER OR WORK WITH HER OR COMPENSATE HER.
so its so infuriating, disrespectful and really downright disgusting for her to trash me, my name, etc to someone. but you know what? I DONT SAY ANYTHING. I dont cause a scene. I go about my business and let it roll off my shoulders bc at this point I know if I say anything its just going to turn ugly and I’m in a professional setting. Sometimes its better to bite your tongue, hold your head up high and move the fuck on about your business.
NOW... oh now, we’re on today. carla is scheduled to work. she came into my office, confirmed it, she was FULLY AWARE OF THIS.
so nicole calls her 5 mins before shes scheduled to clock in and is politely like hey you on your way? and carla is like oh no i don’t work today.
BITCH! THE FUcK YOU MEAN????? WE CONFIRMED THIS LITERALLY!!!!!!!!
omg i cannot at this point i really cannot
but lets proceed... so carla. she’s like yeah i dont come in, tells nicole to check with me. nicole comes to me, i smh and just sigh and am like ok i’m sorry can you please call her back and tell her shes supposed to be here and if theres any issues, transfer the call to me. so nicole calls her, they’re talking, carla is being a cunt (sorry at this point you are) and so i talk to her and shes like you know, this is so frustrating i came in there i asked you if i was supposed to work and you said no (the other girl she trash talked to idk who to name her) and IM LIKE SITTING THERE GOING ????? WHEN????? TO MYSELF BC WE JUST HAD THIS CONVERSATION
MY PATIENCE IS SO THIN, ITS NON EXISTENT AT THIS POINT IM OVER IT
IM TIRED
IM SO FUCKING TIRED AND SICK OF HAVING TO PICK UP THE SLACK AND DO EVERYTHING MY FUCKING SELF BC NO ONE CAN COME TO WORK, DO THEIR JOB AND GO HOME.
can i just make a point too that we make $12 an hour here. sometimes we are LITERALLY SO BORED we have nothing to do. we can read books or watch netflix if no one is around or i even have time to rp at times. so like THIS IS THE EASIEST JOB IN THE WORLD A FUCKING MONKEY could do it.
all you do is answer phones and transfer calls or send an email
its LITERALLY. THAT. FUCKING. SIMPLE????
so like i just dont get it
but back to the point... carla is arguing with me, basically saying my communication sucks, i’m unprofessional (which is laughable but ok) etc...
and i just cant hold it in anymore?? and i’m like well carla, i’m sorry you feel that way and i understand where you’re coming from but i don’t appreciate that you were disrespectful yesterday, you told (new girl) that you were pissed off about what happened and proceeded to talk about me in a really unsatisfactory way.
and she WANTED TO TRY AND SAY THAT THIS WAS A DEFAMATION TO HER CHARACTER. WHEN SHE FUCKING SAID IT!!!!!!!!!!! i mean you can’t but if you were to ask anyone i know i have freakishly good hearing and it gets on my family’s nerves all the time bc i need quiet when writing and i have to beg them to turn their tvs down low just so i can concentrate.
I FUcKIng HEARD THESE EXACT WORDS COME OUT OF HER MOUTH!!!! and she wants to sit here and say that i’m defaming her character.
NO BITCH. Im repeating what I fucking heard you say!!!
why would i make that up? why??? how does that benefit me in any way??? what does that do for me???? NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! i’m not benefitting from anything here.
in addition when talking to her on the phone i bring up the fact that she brought the schedule to me (the correct one which SHE IS ON) and asked me to verify if it was correct. but then proceeds to say in the same breath (contradicting herself) that she’s going off the old one????? like okay????? but you’re wrong?? SHE EVEN SAYS ITS AN OVERSIGHT ON HER CHARACTER, SHE ALREADY MADE PLANS YADDY YADA, SHE CANT COME IN TODAY
moral of the story is... she’s dumb. she’s a fucking cunt. and i hate people who try to spin things and victim blame and tell you you’re defaming their character when you call them out on something real they actually said because they’re scared little pussies and can’t just admit its what they fucking said.
yo i’d have a lot more respect for you if you just admit it. i’m not even mad??? i dont give a fuck what you think or feel about me. when i leave here every day i dont come home and cry about work or how people feel about me there.
work me is different from real me. I. DO. NOT. FUCKING. CARE. work people do not know me on a real level only a professional one. i am here to do a job, to make money, to pay bills, to LIVE. i am not here to fret over the opinions of people who do not follow me home, who do not know the real me. WHO. DO. NOT. FUCKING. MATTER.
POINT FUCKING BLANK.
THANK YOU AND GOODBYE
like seriously?? GOD FUCK! i’m so angry.
if you read all of this, like thanks for letting me vent to a total stranger lmao you’re a real one, may you be blessed today and always.
onto that note... i gotta get back to work. (lmfao fucking irony at its finest)
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Text
Title: Give In (IV)
Idris Elba X Reader “Zanzee” Mini Series (6 Part Mini Series)
 Warning: Slow burn, angst, plot,
 Word Count: 7.6K
 Summary: For the past 5 months has worked on the set of the “Hobbs & Shaw” movie. She works close to all the main actors and is there to answer any whim they may have as the "Set Concierge". She holds herself to a high professional level and refuses to stray from the right side of that pesky, thin grey line that those in the entertainment industry easily jump over.
 Note: Will go through 1 week in the life of Zanzee Grant. Ya’ll I’m afraid this is as close as I will EVER get to a one shot. SMH. I cannot write a one shot to save my life.
 ***Loosely Edited/Proofread***
 ***Interactive Chapter***
 ****Thank you guys for reading. I appreciate it as ALWAYS! If you enjoyed this please LIKE and REBLOG.
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-Thursday-
 “Cut!” David shouted, a loud alarm rang, and all movement stopped.
 David sprang to his feet from his director’s chair and walked toward Idris who was hanging his head.
“Idris, what’s going on man. This is the fourth take of this scene. I never need four takes with you.”
 Idris rubbed the back of his neck, he clearly looked agitated.
 “Sorry David, I don’t know what’s going on,” he explained.
 “What do you need from me to help you with this scene?”
 Idris looked speechless as if he had no idea what he needed. He dropped his head again but smacked his palm to his forehead a few times in an effort to pump himself up.
 “I’ll get it,” Idris continued.
 “I know you will buddy but we’re kind of on a time crunch. We’ve only got this particular spot for nine more hours. We kind of have to get this laid today no ifs, ands or buts,” David added.
 Idris nodded and looked around the set. He’d been distracted all day, late with his actions, forgetful of his lines, dazed. And just out of it. It was completely out of character for him. He was always on. He looked at all the faces looking at him no doubt wondering what the hell was wrong with him. He quickly glanced at Dwayne and Jason off to the side who gave him a solemn look of solidarity. He sighed again and saw Zanzee. She was at the corner of the freeway perched on a cement block. The tension he’d felt in his shoulder blades returned. He knew what his problem was. Zanzee was his problem. He looked away from her before his eyes could roam her figure and looked down to his feet.
 He’d been all fucked up since last night when she shot him down, hard. When he got back to his place he couldn’t sleep, all he could do was kick himself for putting her in that position that he was sure she’d been put in countless times before. He’d propositioned her to sleep with him. He was not that man. Yeah. He’d had his share of set conquests and yes, those conquests had been leaked to the tabloids, but he was an actor, with how much he worked this was literally one of his only ways of meeting people. Not only did he proposition her, but he also let it slip just how much he thought about her. The entire night he obsessed over it and now today he was wallowing in the fact that she didn’t want him, she didn’t want him in the slightest bit looking at how quickly and easily she shut him down. Now his pride, and ego was bruised. If he were one hundred percent honest with himself it was more than his pride and ego, his feelings were hurt too.
 “Let’s take five, give you some time to get your head in the game and we’ll come back, eh,” David suggested. He nodded and turned his back to the majority of the crew. He looked out to the water under the freeway and took a few breathes. He walked to the railing and gripped the cement and groaned loudly.
 “Fuck!”
 He looked back to the water and saw several boats out with fans holding signs. He kissed his teeth. Privacy was something of the past. He always had to be on, always had to be prepared there would be a camera or a fan in his face. He always had to be on and ready to please, except when he was around Z. she never made him feel like the actor, never made him feel like he had to be on, he was always just Idris around her. He closed his eyes and tried to push any and all thoughts of the beautiful set concierge out his head. He took a few deep breaths and tried to get his head back in the game, he had a job to do nursing his bruised ego and hurt feelings would have to wait.
 Once David yelled “action” again he pushed through the scenes and laid them, not effortlessly but professionally. It wasn’t until nearly six he had any time to himself. He used it to lock himself in his trailer and focus on some music. Yes, he was avoiding her, and he didn’t care if she knew it. He couldn’t face her, he was too embarrassed, and he didn’t trust himself to be able to keep his eyes on her face. Every time she looked as if she was approaching him, he’d go in the other direction. If he saw she was where he wanted to go, he’d hold off and divert his path, if someone mentioned they’d call her for something he made an excuse to leave. It was exhausting.
 A knock broke him out of his concentration. He opened his trailer door and saw her standing there holding a box. All knowledge of the English language flew out his brain and he stood there in gaping silence.
 “Hey,” she said. He nodded and looked down.
 “Hey Z.”
 He felt his heart begin to pound a reaction he’d felt tens of times before but one he paid attention to now.
 “Were you busy? Am I interrupting?” she asked. He shook his head.
 “No, you’re good. What’s up? What can I do for you?”
 Hearing the way, the question sounded he shook his head.
 “I mean is there something I can do for you? I don’t mean for it to sound—” He trailed off. She pinched her lips together.
 “Sorry.” He said and rubbed the back of his neck again.
 “Its cool. This came for you and was sent to me so I’m here delivering it to you.” she held out the box to him.
 He took a step closer and gathered the box from her hands and brushed her fingers. She quickly pulled her hands back and he saw her flex her fingers before hiding her hands behind her back. His interest rose.
 “You okay?”
 “Yeah, yeah, totally fine,” she said before silence engulfed the space between you again. After a few moments she began taking a few steps back.
 “All right, I have a lot to do. See ya.” She turned and walked away, he stood there looking over her back as she disappeared across the lot. He walked back inside and kicked the table, he’d ruined everything by opening his mouth.
 When he returned to set he ducked into one of the production rooms hoping for one more moment to prepare himself. He walked in and heard Z’s voice.
 “Keep your shit together Z, keep it together. Two more months, you can make that work. Two more months and you won’t have to see him ever again.”
 Idris looked down feeling like shit, she was talking about him. He’d creeeped her out so badly that she was counting down the days until she could run in the opposite direction. He began to back away trying to ignore the painful disappointment settling inside him when he heard her speak again, instead of hearing anymore he hurried back out the door hating himself a little more than before.
 Filming the rest of the night was almost torture, she watched but from a distance. He kept to himself and tried not to watch her. Every time he looked her way she was already watching him. At one time he could have sworn he saw her looking at his ass before she looked away. She always stayed away from him, an action he wasn’t surprised by given what he’d heard in the production room. she was probably desperately trying to keep him away.
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When it was close to nine Jason and Dwayne blocked him in a corner and badgered him for some answers to his behavior all day. He tired to push it all off claiming a hangover but the didn’t believe him. After nearly ten minutes of badgering, he gave in and told them everything. Dwayne looked confused and concerned while Jason looked amused, he was on the damn brink of laughter. When he busted out laughing Idris rolled his eyes.
 “I’m glad this situation amuses you.”
 “I jus--, I’m sorry, I—” he stuttered through his laughs.
 Dwayne placed his hand on idris’ shoulder before he shook his head. They both waited for Jason to finish. After a full two minutes he composed himself and sighed out.
 “Ah man, I’m good now. I promise.”
 Idris rolled his eyes again.
 “Glad to know I can give you some comedy. Don’t worry about laughing at my problems,” he said.
 “Problems? What problems?” Jason questioned.
 “Were you not listening bruv?”
 “You said you indirectly suggested you have sex and she said she works for you and not under you. I heard you,” Jason skimmed.
 “All right then. She’s avoided me all day, given I’ve been avoiding her too. After what I heard it’s clear I’ve cocked-up everything,” he finished.
 “What else did she say?” Dwayne asked.
 “Besides what I said already just that she has standards and holds herself to a particular level and what not.”
 “There you go. For that reason, you I know you haven’t cocked up in the way you think. You cocked up by not taking it further and telling her you weren’t after a measly screw. You let her think you were after some one-night shag. That is where you cocked up,” Jason explained. Idris looked at him and thought about his words and back to last night.
 “I didn’t hear a no, I heard she doesn’t normally sleep with actors, and she’s not like the other women who stalk this industry. I heard her pushing you away,” Dwayne finished.
 “That’s a nice alternative but it doesn’t explain what I just overheard.”
 “Who knows what she was referring to. Bruv, she’s into you,” Jason added.
 “I agree, I think she just doesn’t want to be the cliché set assistant and sleep with the actors. She’s above it and not the kind of easy conquests you’re used to. That should have been you opening to tell her she wasn’t and it’s more than sex for you,” Dwayne counseled.
 Idris nearly laughed out loud.
 “How the hell do you know it’s more than sex?”
 “Here we go. We’ve watched you for the last five months, we’ve seen everything we know you’re really keen on her. We know you’ve tried to play it off for months and tried to act cool like she doesn’t affect you but dude it’s obvious.”
 He rolled his eyes, he was getting annoyed with all of this.
 “I think that was her last-ditch effort in keeping you away. Her biggest move in making sure nothing happens between the two of you. If you think she doesn’t fancy you then you’re a plonker,” Jason theorized.
 He thought about her actions over the last five months and even last night. He then went over and over her words. Then he thought about how she watched him all day and began to think maybe they were right, but he got stuck on her words from earlier. He looked around the lot and saw her off in the distance again this time talking to that other set assistant that was clearly into her. She had an unreadable expression on her face as she stared at him. He looked like he was talking about something quite animatedly. He touched her elbow and it was there his touch lingered. Idris looked at his hand and didn’t like the way he felt seeing another man quite possibly flirt with her.
 “I say we test the theory and put it to bed once and for all,” Jason broke through his thoughts.
 “And how do you suggest we do that?”
 “I have a plan,” he said with a wide grin on his face while looking in Z’s direction.
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-ZanZee-
 “This is a bad idea,” you said.
 “What do you mean a bad idea? There is no world where a party is a bad idea,” Andra piped up. You rolled your eyes.
 “Who throws together a party in under six hours anyway?”
 “The rich is who honey child and we are going to partake and take advantage of all the opulence, and free food we can, you know a girl is always hungry,” she said.
 “Plus when was the last time you went to a party ms I’m boring as hell and live to work not work to live?” Lexi said with a mischievous gleam in her eyes.
 “Whatever bitch! At least I got a job,” you responded. You all laughed out. Lexi was boyfriend was drafted into the MLB and since then he didn’t want her working. She gave up a cushy spot at a top law firm to let him take care of her and every day of it was sweet torture. She didn’t have the guts to tell him she enjoyed working because he wanted to take care of her.
 “Low blow,” Lexi gasped. You rolled your eyes.
 “Please tell me that is not what you’re wearing,” Xio said. You looked over your body and looked back to her.
 “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”
 “Girl, did you even try?” Xio asked pinching the flannel you wore as a dress.
 “What the hell is wrong with this?”
 “Nothing, it’s cute and everything but girl this is a celebrity party, not a house party. You need to bring it and serve all levels of bawdy!” Andra said as she dropped it down to the floor and popped a mini twerk. You snorted and shook your head unable to contain yourself.
 “Girl, keep all a dat’ over there.”
 “No Xio’s right, this is finally your chance to show those people that there is more to you than work. Give them the chance to see what you offer,” Lexi said.
 “So, what I offer is bawdy?”
 “You know what we mean. You got a banging body Z, it’s almost as poppin’ as your personality. They know bout the personality time to show the rest of the package,” Lexi added in a rare compliment that wasn’t backed by something snarky. You took a deep breath and rolled your eyes.
 “Plus., it’ll give one of them actors a chance to see what they’re missing. Guaranteed once they see you all fuckable they won’t be able to keep their shit together,” Andra added.
 You looked in the mirror and knew they weren’t going to let this go. They rushed into your bedroom each of them pulling clothes from your closet. You wouldn’t admit it to them but that was the plan. This outfit was party enough and it still kept the attention off you, no one would look at you differently. Idris wouldn’t see you any differently. If he propositioned, you again you wouldn’t say no.
 All this morning you kept thinking you’d fucked up from last night. You thought you’d screwed up with not saying yes and showing him all the tricks, you had up your sleeve. You chastised yourself endlessly and went over and over what you could have said, should have said, could have done probably should have done. You felt like you missed a huge opportunity, one that you really wanted but for reasons that went deeper than the surface couldn’t take advantage of.
 You went over and over it and at one point got upset that he thought so little of you that he would try to make a move, then you jumped out of that space and went into fangirl mode that thee Idris Elba was going to make a move on you, you of all people. Then as soon as you thought that you were filled with regret before it was washed away with annoyance. All day everything in you wanted to tell him you made a mistake and just do it but you didn’t. your mother’s words echoed in your head; “A lady always thinks about the repercussions of their actions before making a single move, if the repercussions are anything but favorable a lady makes no action.” She’d drilled that into your head since you were old enough to speak and after nearly twenty-eight years it had done it’s fair share of irreparable damage.
 You felt like such a bitch, a lying, punk bitch. Deep down you worried your friends were right. You were boring and you’d be single forever because you sabotaged every possible relationship or experience you encounter. You took a deep breath and tried to shake off the feelings filling you.
 “Get our shit together Z.”
 You rolled your shoulders back and in came your friends, each holding a different outfit. You rolled your eyes and wanted to run away from the ratchet fashion montage that you saw headed your way. So, the next hour passed with you trying on more outfits than you wanted, posing this way and that way all for their amusement. Everything you tried on showcased a particular part of your body, from the outfit Lexi picked, to the floss Xio picked and the ensemble Andra picked. You weren’t going to lie they were all cute, but it was a lot more effort than you wanted to put in. In the end you decided to do this under your own terms instead of being dressed by them.
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By the time you made it to the location it was almost one in the morning. The street was practically dark except the neon shine from a few other neighboring establishments. You and your friends climbed out the black car and walked toward the three-story brick building and gave the security in front your name and he checked his clipboard and nodded granting you entrance inside. You and your friends looped arms and walked inside. The red-light hue stopped you all in your tracks.
 “What the hell?” you asked. They kept walking down the long hallway and pulled you along. You looked around as you came to the opening of the space, it was now a mix of purple and red.
 “Wow, not bad for a party put together in under six hours,” Lexi shouted in your hear over the music. You narrowed your eyes at her ignoring her chuckling.
 “So, what’s the plan ladies?” Xio asked looking around.
 “Two drinks first, then divide and conquer,” Andra said.
 The four of you walked down the steps and made your way through the bodies that were scattered around. Your arms never left each other. once you made it to the bar you fought for a spot and claimed it. You bopped your head to the music and looked around the club. You saw a few of your coworkers but made no move to say hello, you needed more than two drinks in you to begin the elbow rubbing.
 “What can I get you beautiful ladies?” the bartender asked.
 Andra smiled widely and twirled her curly hair around her finger.
 “What would you recommend?”
 “Well it depends what you like,” the bartender responded.
 “Oh me? I can go with the flow, I like whatever you like.” You rolled your eyes.
 “I like mixing two or more together,” he said leaning to her also.
 “The more the merrier,” Andra finished. It was clear they were no longer talking about liquor if they ever were.
 “Anyway, I’ll take a shot of henny,” Xio interjected.
 “Me too,” Lexi chimed in.
 “Grapefruit and vodka shot bomb,” Andra ordered.
 The bartender looked to you as did your friends.
 “What’ll it be tonight Z? who are we fuckin wit’ tonight?” Xio asked.
 You thought for a few moments and shrugged giving in to the bad influences of your friends and the small side of you that lived to act without caring about repercussions.
 “Tequila and whiskey shot bomb.”
 Your friends erupted in cheers and claps. You shook your head.
 “Finally, Zesty Zanzee is coming out to play!” Xio shouted and did her best Xena war cry that all your friends echoed. You laughed and shook your head. The bartender placed each of your drinks before you. You each took them up, you prepared to drink it but Xio stopped you.
“Wait, what are we drinking to?”
 “The fine selection of prime grade A man!” Andra shouted. You all shrugged and nocked back your shots. From the first taste of the tequila and whiskey mix you knew tonight would be an unforgettable one. As the burn traveled through you, you shivered.
 The next thing you knew you were dancing with your friends on the dancefloor with another drink in your hand. You swayed your body to the music and cared about nothing else. Your friends egged you on and you obliged every ratchet request, from the milly rock, to the nae-nae, and busted it wide open with your twerk. Your dancing brought the boys to the yard just like Kelis predicted. You turned down your fair share of advances and by the time you turned down the fifth guy you looked over and saw Idris sitting in a booth with Dwayne and Jason, there were a few women around them and you couldn’t tell if he knew you were there. One of the staff approached you, whispered in your ear and pointed to their area. You nodded, tapped your friends and made your way over.
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When you climbed up the steps and approached the booth Jason was the first to stand and open his arms wide.
 “You made it Z.” you smiled and nodded.
 “I did. Didn’t know it was possible to put together a party in one day.” He shrugged.
 “I am a man of many talents, and my money is a super power,” he informed.
 “Sort of like Batman,” Xio piped up. Jason looked at her and you saw the minute he turned on his charm. Oh boy you thought.
 “And who is this angel?”
“Ah, this devilish angel is my friend Xio.”
 Xio held out her hand, smiled and batted her eyelashes.
 “Xiomara,” she said rolling her tongue to the rs. You internally snorted and shook your head.
 “It is a pleasure to meet you Xiomara,” Jason echoed. She smiled and bite her bottom lip.
 “Uh-huh, and this is Lexi and Andra.”
 Jason shook their hands as well followed by Dwayne. The moment Idris joined them your eyes roamed his body, he looked good.
 “You’re joining us, come on,” Jason said ushering your friends to find a seat. The only one that was left was close to Idris and a separate woman he was talking to. You scoffed and sat down, crossing your legs.
 He didn’t look at you, he was too wrapped up in his conversation. You looked at the woman, she was pretty, and her skin looked flawless. She wore a cute black and white figure-hugging dress that looked made for her. You thought she had to be a model. You didn’t realize how long you were staring at her until she looked at you and smiled. You returned the smile but looked away. You got up and walked to the private bar and placed an order for a few tequila shots. You leaned on the bar and took out your phone and skimmed your timeline. You slid on one of the stools and crossed your legs, the split on your dress showed your thigh and you didn’t care to adjust it.
 You took up one of the three shots the bartender placed before you and knocked it back without a breath, followed by the second. When you took up the third you turned and saw Idris looking at you. your eyes met and there they remained. You sucked in the last shot never taking your eyes off him and sucked your bottom lip into your mouth. At this point you’d lost track of how many drinks you’d had. Before the stare could continue Jason drew his attention away. You breathed out, rolled your eyes and turned back to the bar annoyed. You didn’t know what you expected but this wasn’t it. You looked back over, and he was again talking to the pretty woman. You stifled a groan, got up and walked away leaving the booth area and making it to the bathroom.
You stood in front of the mirrors and got a grip. He didn’t owe you anything. You told him no and he had every right to move on, and look for a willing party. Your ego was bruised because it was just last night, and it didn’t take him long. After a few minutes you walked back out determined to enjoy the rest of the night. As you walked back to the bar you bumped into a hard body. Before you fell backwards, he pulled you into his and held you there. You looked up into Idris’ eyes and your knees buckled. His strong arms were there keeping you from hitting the ground. One arm was wrapped around your waist and the other held your hip. Everyone in the room disappeared but the two of you. his eyes bore into you and you swore he could see all your secrets including the bullshit one of you not wanting him. His fingers tightened on your hip and that drew a sultry moan from you as you pressed against him more leaving not even a sliver of space between you. you could feel every hard plane of his body including the hardness that was growing against your belly. You bit your bottom lip and momentarily drug your had across his muscled chest.
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“Goddamn you’re perfect,” you groned out before you could stop yourself. As soon as you said it you heard it. You cleared your throat and pulled back creating an inch of space between you.
 “You look amazing Zanzee,” Idris complimented. You smiled small and nodded.
 “Thanks, didn’t think you noticed. You’ve been otherwise occupied with tall, dark and curvy over there all night,” you said. The jealously in your voice was clear and it disgusted you.
 “Her? Eh.” He shrugged without giving any explanation. You wanted to kick yourself for expecting and wanting one.
 “Right, feel free to get back to her, no need to play my night and shining armor,” you said. He nodded and walked away without a word. You were flabbergasted, angry but also hurt.
 The next few hours all you could do was watch him. He mingled around the club talking to one pretty woman and then another, and another and finally you’d lost count of how many women were hanging over every word he said. By the time three rolled around he was in the center of at least seven women all laughing at whatever story he was telling. They all looked wrapped around his finger and you were salty as fuck.
 “Why do you look so salty?” Lexi asked. You snapped out of it and shrugged.
 “I’m good. Having fun?”
 “Nice try. Spill.”
 You remained quiet.
 “Is this about tall, dark and fuckable over there?”
 She nodded to Idris and his harem. You shrugged.
 “Okay, bathroom break.” Lexi pulled you up and dragged you to the bathroom. Once inside she locked the door and made sure it was empty. She tore several pieces of paper towel and created a nice seat for herself atop the counter and plopped on it.
 “Okay, spill.”
 You looked over yourself, reapplied your lipstick and ignored her.
 “You like him, like really like, like. Not celeb crush like but for realsies,” Lexi gaped.
 “Oh my god Z, this is huge. You don’t like anyone. You’ve been single for almost two years and celibate for damn near that long, but here you are. You have feelings for him.”
 “Stop, that’s ridiculous. He’s Idris Elba, I’d be one stupid groupie if I did.” You chastised.
 “Why? He’s hot as hell, seems like a cool guy, talented, and he must be a pretty good guy for you to even remotely like him. So why would you be stupid?” Lexi asked.
 “He’s an actor Lex, an actor. Of all things, I said I’d never get involved with an actor, never go there and yet--,” you trailed off.
 “Well you were a dumbass for saying that shit out loud. You know the universe likes to fuck with people. You spoke this shit into existence. Stepping away from that, we’re here now. Feelings have been established, what’s the problem?”
 You remained silent again. It was pointless, she could read you as good as Andra and she pieced it together.
 “Oh, he’s an actor so you’re sabotaging yourself. Okay. Does he like you too?”
“I don’t know. Last night he came off like he was suggesting we have sex but now tonight he’s surrounded by a harem.”
 “Wait, pause. Did you sleep with him?”
 “No, I told him I’m not that type of woman, I don’t do shit like that.”
 Lexie groaned, rolled her eyes and shook her head.
 “So, he does like you and you already sabotaged yourself. You have to fix this Z. you have to tell him how you feel.”
 “The fuck I do. I feel nothing,” you lied.
 “Oh, you just want to sit on his face.”
 You snorted and laughed loudly, she joined in. After the two of you calmed down you shook your head.
 “Be real with me Z.”
 You sighed and gave up.
 “I think I like him, I know I want to have sex with him but how would that make me any different than all the other groupies he’s fucked?”
 “How do you know you aren’t different? How do you know this entire situation isn’t different? From the tabloids and gossip his sexcapades don’t last longer than a few weeks. You’ve been working together for months.”
 “I don’t want to be like all the others Lex. I would feel so stupid and dirty. He has a massive past.
 “Every sinner has a future and every saint has a past,” she reminded. You nodded because you knew that was what she was going to say.
 “You have got to forget that backwards shit your mother spewed growing up. “A lady always thinks about the repercussions of their actions before making a single move, if the repercussions are anything but favorable a lady makes no action.” Bullshit!” Lexi shouted. You pinched your lips together.
 “Do you realize how stupid that sounds. If you never make an action for fear of the fall out, you’d miss out on so much. If you didn’t take this job because you were afraid you couldn’t handle being split in three by three actors, you wouldn’t be crushing it now. Yes, I realize how that sounded now that it’s out my mouth. Not literally split in three by three actors. Although that thought is very appealing. Have you thought about it?” Lexi diverted.
 “I hadn’t until Andra brought it up and since then I have to say it’s a thought once a day,” you admitted. You and Lexi laughed again.
 “Maybe you should take your own advice with Devin. He loves you I’m sure he’d want you to be happy. Talk to him about what it is you truly want,” you advised. She nodded.
 “Only if you take the same advice.” She held out her hand to you. you thought for a moment and shrugged. You shook her hand and she pulled you in for a hug.
 When the two of you walked back to the party you looked around the club and saw your friends scattered around with different actors, they looked to be in deep conversations, or deep flirting. You looked to Idris again and he was still surrounded by his harem. You rolled your eyes and shied away. You found a pair of stairs and went down them unsure where they led. Once downstairs the boom of the music echoed but it was twenty times quieter. You saw different doors and tried one, you peaked in and saw a bed with sheer curtains.
 “What the hell.”
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You walked down the hall to another door and opened it and saw the same sight. After looking in two more rooms with the same bed you walked into the last door on the right and sat on the red four posted bed there. You took a deep breath in, closed your eyes and released it. You got up and walked around then pressed your back to one of the posts. You took out your phone and checked your emails. Suddenly a message came in from Idris.
 MSG Idris: Left without saying goodbye?
 You bit your bottom lip and hugged your midsection.
 MSG Z: Surprised you noticed I was missing.
MSG Idris: Of course, I noticed. It’s hard to not notice you Z.
 Your heart began pounding faster.
 MSG Z: You’re right, I’m wearing bright red lipstick.
MSG Idris: It has nothing to do with your lipstick. You’ve always been hard to not notice. From the day I met you.
 Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump.
 You sucked your bottom lip into your mouth again and tried to slow your heart.
 MSG Idris: Did you leave?
MSG Z: Why? What’s it to you?
MSG Idris: If you’re gone there’s no need me being here anymore.
 “Jesus Christ.” You placed your hands on your thighs and bent over taking a few deep breaths.
 MSG Z: Why is that?
MSG Idris: Because I only came to this thing hoping to see you.
 You nocked your head back onto the wooden post.
 MSG Z: Could have fooled me? You’ve been surrounded all night.
MSG Idris: You’ve stayed away all night, all day. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.
MSG Z: So, you flirt with every woman in here.
MSG Idris: Every woman but the one I want.
 You stared at his words and thought about your response.
 MSG Z: Who’s that?
MSG Idris: At the risk of getting my ego bruised and feelings hurt again; you Z. I want you.
 “Oh god.”
 You stared at the words, but your fingers were frozen.
MSG Idris: Except last night when I said the words, I think you misunderstood. You took it as me just wanting to sleep with you. that’s not the case Z, I want more than sex with you.
 Your eyes bugged out in your head as you read and re-read his message.
 MSG Idris: I want your hands on my skin, I want your lips on mine, I want to taste you, I want to hear you moan my name, I want to see your body tremble because of me, I want to feel you around me, I want to see the color of your eyes are you succumb to the pleasure I bring you, I want to hear you scream my name, I want to roll over in the middle of the night and collide with your body, I want to see what you look like with messy bed hair at first morning’s light, I want to cook you breakfast, dinners, I want to sit and talk with you about everything from astronomy to the reason why evil exists, I want to vacation with you, I want to bring you home to meet my mother, my kids, I want that and so much more Z.
 You were speechless, breathless and your head was spinning. At this point you were hyperventilating from the rapid beating of your heart. You couldn’t believe what you were reading. You also couldn’t believe how affected you were, and how badly you wanted all of that too. You didn’t know how badly you did until he said the words.
 MSG Z: Jesus Christ you can’t say shit like that to me.
 “Why?”
 You spun around and there he stood leaned against the door frame. The purple light bathed covered him and he looked like a figment from your best dreams.
 “Why can’t I say that to you? I’ve wanted to say it for so long. So long.”
 He walked into the door and you found yourself backing up. You felt like the prey and he was the predator. The hum of the music above worked with the light to the room even more hypnotizing with him in it. You felt your back collide with the wall and you pressed into it. He stopped a few inches from you and stared at you. you licked your lips and tried to catch your breath.
 “Tell me.”
 “Because, I—I—I work for you,” you began.
 “I don’t care.”
 “This is incredibly unprofessional,” you countered.
 “I don’t care.”
 He took another step to you. You looked down his body and bit your bottom lip. Your body was betraying you big time. You felt the wetness puddle between your thighs. You were thankful the thick leather of the dress hid your hardened nipples. When you looked back to him you recognized the look in his eyes. It was the same look from the night in his trailer and the one in yours and last night. Hell, you’d seen this look many times before those instances you just never placed it until now.
 “Fuck!” you groaned. He angled his head and surveyed you.
 “Last night, you didn’t turn me down because you didn’t want me, or because you didn’t want this,” he announced. You swallowed and you pushed off the wall and walked past him. He grabbed your wrist and pulled you to him. Again, your body slammed into his. You moaned and squeezed his biceps gripping him.
 “You want this, you want this just as much as I do.”
 He stared into your eyes and lowered his baritone.
 “You want me Z.”
 Your control was gone.
 “Jesus,” you groaned.
 “Tell me.”
 “Yes, I want you.”
 In seconds he crushed his lips to yours sucking your bottom lip in. you moaned on his mouth and savored the feel of his kiss as you kissed him back. It was a kiss you’d dreamt of since you were a teenager, the kiss that woke you up and burned you from the inside out. The kiss that stole everything, air, senses, dreams, hopes, life. It was the kiss you’d wanted forever but never got. He delivered tenfold. The kiss became more frenzied as he pulled you even closer to his body. Idris dug his fingers into your hair and remained there. His moans intermingled with yours and soon the room was filled with only the sounds of your moans.
 When your lungs couldn’t take anymore, you pulled your lips away and gasped for air. Idris peppered kisses along your jaw and made a fiery trail to your ear where he nibbled at your earlobe. He spent a few moments there before he dipped his lips to your neck and found the sensitive part of your neck that was your weakness. He sucked your flesh into his mouth and there went your inhibitions. You felt his hardening length against your stomach, and you wanted more. You crushed your lips to his again and kissed him again, it was a kiss he eagerly reciprocated. You’d never felt like this before, never been set ablaze by just a kiss. You felt like you were having an outer body experience and watched yourself so close to throwing everything to the side. You pulled back and panted trying to compose yourself.
 “Shit.”
 “I second that,” Idris said taking a step to you.
 “No, no, we can’t do this.”
 “What? Why?”
 “Why? I’ve already told you.”
 “I’ll ask David for another assistant, then you won’t work for me.”
 “No, not that, this is not me. I don’t do this. I’m not some groupie who drops her panties for a hot celeb. I can’t be like the countless women you’ve done this with.”
 “Z, you’re nothing like them I know that, I see that. You’ve never been like that. I could tell that from the day we met. I’m not who I was with you right now. I’m different, I want things to be different with you.”
 You tried to gather if he was spitting game or being truthful. It was hard to see through your intense arousal and want for him.
 “I’m being truthful. Last night I came off wrong, I’m sorry for making you feel like I think of you as a body. I don’t see you like that Zanzee,” he pleaded. He slowly walked to you and took your hand. You were having an internal fight; your brain and your heart were warring, and it was an epic battle.
He trailed his fingers up your arm to your shoulder and goosebumps broke out all across your skin. He held out his arm to show you.
 “See, you do the same to me.”
 You looked at his arm and aw the goosebumps that mirrored yours. You looked back at him hope filling you.
 “Idris—” you began before his lips cut you off. You moaned again and allowed him to kiss you as the war within waged on.
 “Put me out my misery Z, please. Stop the torture. Be with me.”
 You pulled back and looed in his eyes.
 “What?”
 “Be with me. Be mine,” he groaned out as he placed single kisses along your face and lips.
 You felt crowded, as if you were seconds from giving in and he knew it. You kissed him again and pressed your body to his. He moaned and backed to the bed before dropping onto it. You climbed on him and returned his hungry kisses. You felt his hand snake down your back and squeeze your hip. Once he did that you felt his prominent bulge pressed against you. everything in you wanted to give in to everything you’d wanted for the last five months but you also knew it was not the right place. He rolled on you and trapped your arms above your head. You bit your bottom lip as the two of you stared at each other. He lowered his lips to yours again, but this kiss was different, it was slow, tantalizing, and gentle, this kiss spoke of feelings. You slowly got lost in his issues and the feelings they awoke, feelings that quieted the war within. You pulled him closer and moaned on him and enjoyed the moment. It had been so long since you’d been kissed and it all made sense, no one else would have ever done but him. He was running you for anyone to come after him. Every cell in your body knew it but happily accepted your inevitable fate. He slowed his kisses and you took the opportunity to roll back onto him. You kissed him once, twice and then a third time before you pulled your body off his. He lied there and took a few moments to center himself. You looked over his body and saw the evident sign of his arousal.
 “You need time to think don’t you,” Idris said as he sat up.
 You raked your hands through your hair and tried to get a hold of your runaway thoughts and feelings.
 “Don’t you?”
 “No. I’ve done my thinking. I don’t think you understand, this has been months in the making. Months Zanzee.”
 You studied him and saw be was being truthful.
 “I’m tried of running from it and to be honest I’m not a good actor if I do as you saw today. I know this is more your hang up than mine and I understand that. I have a past, one that is not favorable. I get it, really, I do. No one should enter something blindly, especially with an actor. This life can chew you up and spit you out. I care about you too much to force you into this.”
 You turned your back to him and shook your head.
 “Jesus Christ Idris.”
 You couldn’t believe your ears, couldn’t believe this was happening. You felt his arms around your waist, and you closed your eyes and sunk into his embrace. You felt safe in his arms, you felt as if he wouldn’t hurt you and you could believe in him.
 “I can wait for you to get there Z. I will wait.” He kissed your temple and then down the side of your face, to your jaw and then to your shoulder. You shivered.
 “What if I don’t get there?”
 “You will.”
 “How do you know?”
 “Because you feel what I feel, you want what I want. You won’t be able to just walk away from what the strength of this.”
 Silence filled the room and your phone went off. You looked at it and saw your friends messages asking where you were.
 “I have to go.”
 “Go ahead, I’ll hang back for five.”
 You looked at him and studied his face. He was beautiful. You couldn’t believe he was standing there saying he wanted you over all the other women he could have. He stepped to you and placed a gentle kiss on your lips. You kissed him back and caressed his cheek. You walked past him to the door but before you walked out you looked back at him. he was watching you, but his expression was masked now.
 “See you around DJ. Driis.”
You walked away leaving him there.  You had no idea how you got home because you were floating on cloud nine, but you were filled with so much anxiety and worry. You had a lot to think about.
 To Be continued….
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hey baby won't you look my way (i can be your new addiction)
Chapter 7: gays you ever just ahsnfdjsl?? part 1
Chapter Summary: Holiday parties are planned, Cheryl and Toni are Kevin's sapphic moms, an intervention is held, Alice and Hermione are adorable and everyone loves them, Kangs has some news, and Sweet Pea runs away from his problems.
Notes: theMANtle: reggie
ao3
Friday, 3:17 PM
gays united
hbicheryl: its winter break!! finally a respite from the chaos!!
jugheadalones: im so excited!
hbicheryl: hold up, hobo is excited about something??
hisshissmotherfucker: ^^ jones are you sick
jugheadalones: okay, first of all fuck you
jugheadalones: second of all im excited to return to the near-comatose state i maintain every time we have a long period of time off from school
nopeaz: that makes more sense
veroffica: as enjoyable as that likely is to you, holden caulfield, it won't be happening this break. i'm hosting a christmas eve party at the pembrooke starting at 8:00 pm and you are all invited.
veroffica: and you'd better all show up, or else i'll sic my new bodyguard on you.
goingtoheller: i assume you mean betty.
wannabett: guilty :/
spillthefogarTEA: ill be there. and NOT because of your threats
spillthefogarTEA: even though betty is kind of intimidating
goingtoheller: i'll come as well.
nopeaz: cher and ill come too
hisshissmotherfucker: i love parties im there
jugheadalones: i dont suppose i really have a choice do i?
wannabett: not really. sorry jug
jugheadalones: fine.
hbicheryl: speaking of holiday parties
hbicheryl: new years eve party, thistlehouse, time tbd, if you arent there youre dead to me
veroffica: b and i will be there.
spillthefogarTEA: me too
goingtoheller: i'll be there.
hisshissmotherfucker: i hear cheryls parties are infamously dramatic
hisshissmotherfucker: so im definitely coming
hisshissmotherfucker: as long as i dont end up doing seven minutes in heaven with archie like veronica
veroffica: will nobody ever let me forget that??
hisshissmotherfucker: nope
jugheadalones: why do all these party invites come with threats of retribution if you dont attend?
hbicheryl: bc if there wasnt then youd never come
jugheadalones: ill come. begrudgingly.
nopeaz: and ofc ill be there obviously
jugheadalones: wait am i missing something? why is that obvious?
hbicheryl: oh right we didnt tell you lol
hbicheryl: tt moved in with me
goingtoheller: WHAT??
goingtoheller: my sapphic moms moved in together aND I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA??
hisshissmotherfucker: why is keller suddenly chonis kid when did this happen??
hbicheryl: please kevin is basically toni and i's love child
hbicheryl: he has my sass (well not as good as mine but hes trying), my gayness, and my strange desire for dumbass serpents
nopeaz: and my propensity for saying 'this is riveting i cant breathe'
goingtoheller: aw, thanks, moms! mostly! :)
nopeaz: no problem son
hbicheryl: yes we are very proud of you kev (mostly)
jugheadalones: huh i never actually thought about it but that... works?
wannabett: okay cheryl and toni are like the least qualified people here to be anyones lesbian moms?? theyre literally gang members??
hbicheryl: stfu nightmare smurfette do not EVER criticize my parenting skills
hbicheryl: toni and i have slaved for weeks, even MONTHS to make sure that kevin turns into a proper young gay man
hbicheryl: and you have the AUDACITY to suggest that just because my gf and i are deeply flawed people we would corrupt poor kevin??
wannabett: uh... no?
hbicheryl: thats what i thought
nopeaz: wow angry cheryl is scary but hot
spillthefogarTEA: topaz, you are so whipped
spillthefogarTEA: and REALLY fucking gay
nopeaz: yeah ik
jugheadalones: moving on
jugheadalones: speaking of people taking a big step and deciding to live with each other... betty and veronica, we need to talk.
veroffica: um... what?
veroffica: is this some sort of intervention?
hisshissmotherfucker: yes
spillthefogarTEA: moving in together might be considered friendly if, say, betty didnt already have a house that she lives in
nopeaz: but this decision is beyond simple friendship
hbicheryl: and its certainly anything but heterosexual
wannabett: why are you guys finishing each others sentences?? did you plan this??
hisshissmotherfucker: no shit sherlock
veroffica: how do you guys even have this information??
goingtoheller: we have our ways.
wannabett: archie somehow saw our texts through my window
wannabett: jughead told me last night, sorry i didnt tell you v, i didnt know that this was going to happen
nopeaz: dammit jones why do you have to ruin all our fun!!
jugheadalones: i didnt realize that this was a rule?
jugheadalones: so anyway
jugheadalones: b&v, now that you have been confronted with cold hard proof of your undying love for each other, what do you have to say for yourselves?
wannabett: guys im straight!!
goingtoheller: ooh, betty's pulling the straight card.
hbicheryl: i called it! tt, sp, fangs, and jughead, you all owe me $10
hbicheryl: cousin betty is nothing if not predictable in the face of her sexuality being questioned
veroffica: hey, you made bets on this?? not cool!
wannabett: ^^^^
wannabett: and i am NOT predictable!!
hbicheryl: i predicted she was going to say that
hbicheryl: thats another $10 guys
hisshissmotherfucker: for once i trusted in someones willingness to admit when they were wrong and now because of that cheryl is robbing us blind! smh never again
spillthefogarTEA: veronica? you never answered the question
veroffica: uh...
veroffica: i mean, um...
veroffica: we've never even kissed! i'm pretty sure we aren't dating!
nopeaz: to be fair though i wouldnt be surprised if you two were dating without knowing it
veroffica: guys, now really isn't a good time.
jugheadalones: mmmhmm
wannabett: no seriously v and i are getting ready for the christmas eve party
wannabett: its in three days remember
hbicheryl: ugh fine i suppose thats a reasonable explanation
veroffica: and since i know that you won't let this go, at the party you can ask us whatever you want about this.
goingtoheller: wait... for real?
wannabett: uh yeah really v??
veroffica: within reason, of course.
spillthefogarTEA: wow this is more than i expected to come from this
veroffica: one condition, though. you can't pester b and i about it before the party.
veroffica: deal?
hisshissmotherfucker: deal
wannabett: now that thats settled v and i are going to get to work
veroffica: we'll probably be off the grid until maybe a few hours before the party.
[wannabett is offline]
[veroffica is offline]
hbicheryl: toni and i are already headed over to pops, anyone want to join us?
jugheadalones: wont we just be three-wheeling?
hbicheryl: not if we are in a large group
hisshissmotherfucker: ill come if you come jones
jugheadalones: sure.
hisshissmotherfucker: ill be there in five
[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]
jugheadalones: kevin, fangs?
spillthefogarTEA: im good
goingtoheller: ^^
nopeaz: okay otw
[nopeaz is offline]
[hbicheryl is offline]
jugheadalones: leaving now
[jugheadalones is offline]
6:35 PM
nopeaz: GUYS YOULL NEVER BELIEVE WHO JUST WALKED IN
spillthefogarTEA: who is it??
spillthefogarTEA: tell me you know im not good with suspense!!
jugheadalones: its alice cooper and hermione lodge!
hisshissmotherfucker: it seems as though archies intel was correct again
hisshissmotherfucker: damn that omniscient fucking northsider
hbicheryl: now i really wish that betty and veronica werent offline so they could hear about this
goingtoheller: why? do you hate them?
hbicheryl: hate is a strong word
hbicheryl: id say that i just occasionally want them to suffer
goingtoheller: that isn't much better...
hbicheryl: i guess ill just have to wait until the party to tell them
nopeaz: okay so they just got a booth and its basically diagonal from ours
jugheadalones: but theyre so enamoured with each other i dont think they even noticed that were here
hbicheryl: wow i dont think ive ever seen aunt alice this happy before
spillthefogarTEA: ugh this sounds so adorable i wish i was there
hisshissmotherfucker: dont worry well narrate their every movement so well itll be like you are
nopeaz: oh shit they keep reaching for each other like every five seconds
spillthefogarTEA: im WEAK
jugheadalones: its so hard to believe that they ever hated each other with the way theyre acting now
jugheadalones: homophobia can really fuck shit up huh
goingtoheller: this is the couple i never knew i needed, but now that i have seen that it's possible, i'm in love.
hisshissmotherfucker: im in shock i cant believe that the same alice cooper that grounded her daughter from any and all contact with the outside world is now just essentially the personification of heart eyes
hbicheryl: this town is so small were all basically inbred
hbicheryl: next thing you know fp and fred are going to be fucking too
jugheadalones: okay i did NOT need that image
nopeaz: AHHHH THEY WENT IN FOR A KISS MAYDAY MAYDAY THIS IS NOT A DRILL
spillthefogarTEA: AHHHHH
goingtoheller: AHHHHHHH
nopeaz: AHHHHHHH
jugheadalones: even i, being asexual and aromantic, have to admit that im loving living vicariously through these two
hisshissmotherfucker: k so they stopped
hisshissmotherfucker: wait no theyre kissing again!
hisshissmotherfucker: and again!
hisshissmotherfucker: and again!
hisshissmotherfucker: okay now theyre just making out
nopeaz: get it girl(s)
hbicheryl: its getting pretty heated
hbicheryl: it feels like the windows are going to start fogging up
jugheadalones: oh damn they stopped
jugheadalones: ms cooper is waving pop over now
goingtoheller: is it creepy that we're so invested in their date?
spillthefogarTEA: probably not
hisshissmotherfucker: nah
jugheadalones: lets go with no
nopeaz: nope
hbicheryl: its only creepy if we get turned on
goingtoheller: moving on... what's happening now??
nopeaz: they got the check and now theyre paying
nopeaz: they can barely keep their hands off of each other
nopeaz: now theyre leaving
nopeaz: should i follow them to keep narrating?
goingtoheller: won't they notice??
jugheadalones: no theyve only got eyes for each other
jugheadalones: follow them SUBTLY while we hold down the table
nopeaz: roger that
hbicheryl: youre such a nerd
nopeaz: you love it
hbicheryl: duh
hbicheryl: now follow them!!
nopeaz: already doing it
nopeaz: so they made it to their car
nopeaz: okay wow wasnt expecting that but im not complaining
spillthefogarTEA: whats happening???
nopeaz: alice just shoved hermione up against the car door and now theyre hardcore making out
nopeaz: damn i wonder if theyre even going to get home or if theyre just going to do it in the parking lot
hisshissmotherfucker: i cant believe alice cooper and mayor lodge BOTH have better sex lives than i do wtf
goingtoheller: who knew that hermione lodge was such a bottom??
hbicheryl: well you know what they say about people in positions of power
hbicheryl: top in the streets bottom in the sheets
jugheadalones: wait cheryl that could apply to you as well
spillthefogarTEA: ooh is the class president getting the strap from the vice president
nopeaz: fuck off fangs
nopeaz: okay so they finally managed to regain some semblance of control
nopeaz: aaaaand theyre driving away
nopeaz: shows over folks
hbicheryl: lets clear out men
nopeaz: meet me by the bike cher
hbicheryl: be there in a sec babe xx
jugheadalones: wait are you telling me that cheryl blossom rode a motorcycle??
hisshissmotherfucker: yeah red i thought you said they were death traps
hbicheryl: well yeah but that was before i got on it
hbicheryl: its like a giant vibrator
hbicheryl: and riding it with toni is basically just the most acceptable type of public sex
goingtoheller: gross.
hisshissmotherfucker: never thought id agree with keller but yeah tmi
nopeaz: whatever
nopeaz: bye fuckers see you all at veronicas party
[nopeaz is offline]
[hbicheryl is offline]
jugheadalones: im headed out too
[jugheadalones is offline]
hisshissmotherfucker: me too
[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]
Monday, 6:43 PM
wannabett: b&v are back bitches!!
veroffica: and, looking through the chat from the past few days... i'm glad i was gone.
wannabett: although now i know what 'hot date' my mom was talking about :/
wannabett: even though i never wanted to know
wannabett: some things are best kept secret especially when your mom goes out on a date with your best friends mom!!
hbicheryl: youre welcome :)
veroffica: cheryl, at this very moment, i simultaneously respect, despise, and fear you.
hbicheryl: aw thanks thats what im always going for!
veroffica: anyway, the party will be starting in an hour or so, but some of my relatives will be over in the meantime. if you've got anything to say that doesn't involve the date my mom and betty's mom have, feel free. if you don't, go to hell.
hisshissmotherfucker: hey im in the neighborhood and i dont have anything else to do would you mind if i came over now
veroffica: sure thing!
hisshissmotherfucker: are you sure your relatives will be fine with me being there?
veroffica: yeah. i mean, betty's here too anyway!
hisshissmotherfucker: k
6:48 PM
goingtoheller + veroffica
goingtoheller: hey, would you happen to have some time you could set away during the party? fangs and i have an announcement we'd like to make.
veroffica: sure thing, kev. how does around 10 sound?
goingtoheller: perfect. thanks, v!
veroffica: no problem.
7:22 PM
gays united
hisshissmotherfucker: rn betty looks like she cant decide whether to be a guard dog or an excited puppy lmao
jugheadalones: context?
hisshissmotherfucker: veronicas greeting her relatives and bettys following her so closely shes practically stepping on her heels
goingtoheller: well, v is definitely holding betty's leash.
nopeaz: yeah veronicas got her by the collar
spillthefogarTEA: if betty doesnt watch her step then shes really going to be in the doghouse
wannabett: stop with the dog puns!! i am not a dog!!
hbicheryl: okay but you have to admit those were pretty good
wannabett: i will admit no such thing! now if youll excuse me im going to go back to talking to ronnies relatives with her
[wannabett is offline]
hisshissmotherfucker: i guess ill keep you all informed on their gay shenanigans
nopeaz: who even says shenanigans anymore??
hisshissmotherfucker: uh i do fight me
nopeaz: square up bitch
hbicheryl: if i had a dollar for every time tt and sp said that they were going to fight i would have enough money to rebuild thornhill
goingtoheller: cheryl, you're the one who burned it down in the first place.
hbicheryl: yes and??
goingtoheller: ...nevermind.
hisshissmotherfucker: im snoRTING
jugheadalones: what happened?
hisshissmotherfucker: so veronica was talking to one of her relatives right
hisshissmotherfucker: and the relative asks her if she has a boyfriend
hisshissmotherfucker: veronica laughs a little and says no so her relative looks at betty whos still trailing behind her like a shadow
hisshissmotherfucker: and knowingly says "oh i see, a girlfriend"
spillthefogarTEA: ajklfshagak i cant even
hisshissmotherfucker: both of them are sputtering uncontrollably unable to formulate a response im dying
hbicheryl: ahahah it was only a matter of time before something like this happened but im really glad it did
nopeaz: i mean relatives are supposed to know you better than anyone else right?
jugheadalones: oh b&v you oblivious wlw
goingtoheller: we're never letting them let this down, are we?
spillthefogarTEA: not a chance
hisshissmotherfucker: IT GOT BETTER
hisshissmotherfucker: veronica finally managed to speak and she (unconvincingly) insisted that she and betty were just friends etc etc and her relative just raised her eyebrows and went "mmhm"
nopeaz: drag themmmmm
hbicheryl: omg we stan
hisshissmotherfucker: im trying to stifle my laughter bc betty and veronica look like they want to murder me
hisshissmotherfucker: but you know what screw it its worth it
hisshissmotherfucker: oh shit bettys coming over here and she looks pissed
hisshissmotherfucker: hello punks, this is betty. i hope youve had your fun listening to sweet pea narrate everything but now im taking his phone and wont be giving it back until the party starts
[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]
jugheadalones: awww
goingtoheller: at least the party starts soon anyway. then, i'm sure we'll get even more beronica fodder.
jugheadalones: true
hbicheryl: see you then losers
spillthefogarTEA: back at ya cheryl
7:48 PM
nopeaz: cher and i are on our way
goingtoheller: fangs and i are leaving now.
jugheadalones: and im at your door at this very moment
jugheadalones: let me in
jugheadalones: okay great im in
hisshissmotherfucker: and i just got my phone back
hisshissmotherfucker: i will not stand for this tyranny! this is a republic not a monarchy!
wannabett: keep it up and im taking your phone back
hisshissmotherfucker: the oppression continues...
wannabett: sweet pea...
hisshissmotherfucker: fine
[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]
veroffica: now, let's get this party started!
10:03 PM
spillthefogarTEA: hey guys i know this is fun and exciting and all but would you mind congregating out in the living room? ive got some news
hisshissmotherfucker: anything for my best bro
jugheadalones: sure thing
10:07 PM
hisshissmotherfucker + theMANtle
hisshissmotherfucker: hey mantle are you free rn
theMANtle: yeah, you want me to come over to your trailer?
hisshissmotherfucker: yep im on my way there too
hisshissmotherfucker: see you in ten?
theMANtle: none of your friends will be there, right?
hisshissmotherfucker: nah theyre all still at veronicas party they wont even notice that im gone
theMANtle: not that im complaining, but why arent you?
hisshissmotherfucker: i needed a break
theMANtle: so you were hoping that i could help you blow off some steam? ;)
hisshissmotherfucker: that was the general idea
theMANtle: youre in luck, then. i currently have a lot of free time and what many call an impressive amount of stamina.
hisshissmotherfucker: perfect
[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]
10:15 PM
gays united
spillthefogarTEA: hey has anyone seen sweet pea? i could have sworn that i saw him before kevin and i made our announcement but now i cant find him anywhere
nopeaz: hes probably just in the bathroom or brooding in the corner somewhere
hbicheryl: dont worry about him just celebrate! youve officially got a new boyfriend!
spillthefogarTEA: "dont worry about him" have you MET me??
goingtoheller: babe, he probably just got bored and bailed.
goingtoheller: i know that he's your best friend, but he isn't who you're dating--i am. can't you forget about sweet pea for a little while and just relax?
spillthefogarTEA: i guess so
goingtoheller: great!
spillthefogarTEA: ill just text sp real quick and attempt to verify that hes still alive first
goingtoheller: whatever you need to do, fangs. i'll see you afterward.
10:19 PM
spillthefogarTEA + hisshissmotherfucker
spillthefogarTEA: hey sweets, i just wanted to make sure you didnt do anything stupid
spillthefogarTEA: i know that you arent kevins biggest fan, but youre my best friend and i dont want to lose you over him
spillthefogarTEA: i wish you were here to celebrate with me but i get it if you cant
spillthefogarTEA: please, just text me back whenever you see this to let me know that youre okay.
[spillthefogarTEA is offline]
10:41 PM
hisshissmotherfucker: thanks for being so understanding fangs but ngl i dont know if i can handle you dating keller
hisshissmotherfucker: i mean like you said
hisshissmotherfucker: we're best friends
hisshissmotherfucker: so i shouldnt have a problem with you going out with whoever you want
hisshissmotherfucker: but something about him just rubs me the wrong way
hisshissmotherfucker: sorry if that wasnt what you wanted to hear
[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]
Notes: Sorry, this was supposed to just be a long holiday chapter, but I had so many ideas I had to split it into two. Bear with me, please! Also, happy new year, gays! As 20gayteen comes to a close, I hope you find even more peace, prosperity, and (of course) bisexuality in 20biteen!!
48 notes · View notes
abyss-mal-blog1 · 5 years
Text
current mind-space//word vomit
it’s amazing how much can change in a few days, but it hasn’t been a week since my finals ended and i already felt so different. i have been doing f45 everyday this week (if not then some kind of workout, but i’ve really been into that recently). i am feeling so much better now without deadlines, sometimes i don’t know if i function better under pressure or not. i guess not, but then it’s amazing how much i can do and achieve under pressure. i need the right amount of pressure, and this semester it has been a little difficult for me to get around that. 
last friday was kinda my last day of finals, i just had an essay to submit, and i am disappointed in myself and my work ethic because i submitted it at 9pm, went to my cousin’s (disappointing) party, and then professor emailed me to say that she cannot read Pages format (seriously smh @ my tardiness!!!), only got back at 1am that night and sent my mediocre essay. i am a little sad about it because i know that is not my 100%. idk why but college so far has just been a series of 80% effort. this paper was an interesting one, on airbnb, on the sharing economy, it’s a performance studies paper where i analyze the hospitality platform in terms of host-user relationship, parasitism and (attempted) to talk about free online labor. it is a little too late now but i kinda want to work on it again and like, submit for feedback. maybe ill ask taylor. 
last saturday was kinda meh, i agreed to go to a *social* kinda event at a bar/club at chelsea, held for Asian-ivy-alumni-people that yanlin invited me too. it was at up&up and honestly a little...i didn’t enjoy it at all. the music sucked, the people were either too dorky or gross or old or weird, and the whole time i just kept saying to myself, “never again”. they said it was open bar but they only served absolut, which was shit. and then my friend’s two friends were...i feel sorry that this was their first clubbing experience. at the beginning my reaction was look at all these ivy alumni! get hitched with one of them for ~da connectsx~ (and nothing else) but no kidding i was actually interested in talking to them just to get to know what people who graduated from ivies are up to, and what are they doing at such events...and are they actually enjoying themselves because it was really kinda gross. met my friend’s friend who seemed like a really smart engineer (he asked for my number the next day lol), and a german dude at the bar who didn’t want to get me a drink. all i needed that night was a drink.....(i’m glad i didn’t drink tho because recently drinking has made me feel all kinds of bad)  we had ramen after at ramen-ya (most probably the worst ramen and charsiew i’ve had but what can we do at 3am and my friend wanted noodle and soup...)
on sunday i KNow i should have left my house earlier to workout but i didn’t. i was angry at myself that i didn’t. instead, i stayed at home and emotion-ate. i must have eaten more green bean soup than my stomach would have liked. what else...avocado? i remember..two bananas? god. this was the day i felt like i was n’s boyfriend because i had to do what she wanted to do. i know i had agreed on going, but at that point i really wanted to go thrifting or something. i mean when i got to central park it was fine and things were good but the whole day just felt like i was kinda pulled into doing something that wasn’t my first choice of plans, not that i didn’t enjoy myself lying under the sun at the park. it just felt like i was accompanying someone. i was half an hour late to meet her as well, and half heartedly got a burrito-wrap at newsbar. if you think about it it is really kinda funny, we’re just buying food and taking the subway to this grass patch 50 blocks away. we didn’t walk much, we literally only stayed at a little grassy slope overlooking the baseball pitch. anyway we went to a dance class after (the class was an hour long but i felt like n had asked me about when and what time we should book the classes for more than an hour by text so i just got really sick of it) i rushed home and got dinner with my uncle who’s in town for my cousin’s graduation. i was surprised that he chose the same japanese restaurant again, after dissing it half a year ago we ate here. the omakase was crazy and it cost 230 per person. (for the most expensive set) it was also kinda dumb because you aren’t allowed to order a different omakase set from anyone else - everyone on the table has to order the same - because of “timing”. i wonder if this is how it is in japanese omakase etiquette, but in any case it really earned them a hefty amount because my uncle decided to get 230 for all of us. qiyang didn’t like and said qiqi had bad taste, hahaha. the food wasn’t bad, i mean it’s japanese fusion, but the prices were way too steep for the taste. anyway enough about the food, during the dinner i think we talked about many things though. i kinda wanted to talk to my uncle individually because i think he is the only one who knows about ah gong, but he was sick, and i could tell he was exhausted. my aunt got a little impatient because i didn’t arrange plans to take their furniture and they were going to throw all of them away and it was actually the first time i’ve seen her get so worked up - but at the same time trying to control her emotions - because she was talking to me. i could tell she was annoyed though but i tried not to take it personally, and arranged it tomorrow. 
arranging the moving stuff was kinda last minute, i was walking to the library for work one day and i saw a truck that said MakeSpace. i assumed it was a kind of moving company and so i looked them up. they seemed to be pretty okay in terms of their services and so i decided to try them out. confirmation and setting up an appointment went pretty smoothly, except for the part where the guy i think his name was joseph, asked me to give my credit card details over the phone. idk why i did that! i stopped though, and asked him why, to which he replied he wanted to key in with the coupon code. this service has so much gimmicks within the first 2-3 minutes on the phone he was already telling me about how the first pick up is free, and that he will deduct 100$ off the first month...when people give you discounts too easily it just feels like a ploy and a thing they give to everyone, it’s not anything special and it’s probably calculated inside whatever we have to pay. anyway, i was just thinking it would be cheaper (assuming the maximum that i would have to pay is ~$500, as i confirmed with them on the phone yesterday), it’d still be cheaper than starting an apartment lease now and going through the trouble of finding two subletters. 
well. idk, it’s also easy to have things all moved in, i have to find a place to store my perishables!
moving is so much work, and storing things. this reminds me of my paper on airbnb and about the digital nomad lifestyle. it is interesting though, that this is what it has become. but the homogenized aesthetic is something i really cannot stand, in airbnb, in coffeeshops around the world..i am sure you know what i’m talking about. a new york times writer did something about this - he termed it “Airspace” - and apparently it originated from Brooklyn. I guess that’s where the art/avant-garde stuff started. well. keep a look out im gonna write a blogpost about that 
moving on 
nat came to sleepover on sunday night and a few days after because the school kicks you out of the dorms you pay so much for right after your final ends. i forgot if we did something fun but i probably just fell asleep. 
on monday i think i went to f45 and did cardio at Dumbo with Gi. he seems like a pretty nice trainer, the first time i went it was him and another girl Bertha (i think my first f45 was last tuesday) and i felt like i had two personal trainers with me - Gi was cheering me on and Bertha was doing it with me. it felt like such a good workout, one of the best ive had in a while. then work, where i arranged the movers stuff. i also realized i bought the wrong date for my flight ticket as my friends and had to buy one more...............
tuesday was the same f45 in the morning, and the bobst after. didn’t really get much work done at bobst. oh i also viewed a 3BR flex at 160. hella expensive and small, and dates didn’t work out anyway. also the broker who brought us to view the apartment was a very nice tall french man and his name was jean-francois which i couldn’t pronounce and asked nat but still called him jean as in jeen instead of john. this is why i have to learn french. you’re embarrassing. i also went to the itp/ima spring show with shubham which was super cool. there were many cool ideas, and i just wonder if i could create something like that. i didn’t get to see all of the exhibits which i regret, but i remember a few notable projects. one was an installation made with keyboards that randomly clicks, but when you hold your phone up it’ll stop. it’s made using 3d gestures. there’s also one at a gallery for surveillance, this team had a thing they call facebox, and it’s literally a box, that when you open it has a webcam that would capture your face, find you on facebook, and print out an invoice/receipt on how much you have earned for this giant tech company.  what else...an AR project that when you scan a food,  it shows you where the food comes from. nat said that she would love it if menus have something they could scan and then have pictures appear in ~holographic~ format, or maybe in the nearer future something on your phone that shows you a picture of the picture of the food. but isn’t it a surprise tho? sometimes the fun’s in the surprise, you read the description, you know what are the foods you’ll eat, leaving room to imagine or be surprised by how the chef puts it together! anyway, went for dinner with nat and jenny - got vegan shwarma (definitely wasn’t worth $14) and went to get crepes with will after. 
wednesday we were gonna go to the dmv but we weren’t prepared. nat also needed to get her passport and she was lazy. wow the number of times i mentioned her, it feels like she’s my boyfriend at this point. talked to famz, sister, and beatrix. am currently considering if i should even go to beijing or just go straight home. fuck. went to bobst for work but no one was there i was just really sleepy. viewed an apartment at 55 morton (it’s a nice quiet residential street that seems to be tucked away from the loud cars and bars and people) then i went to f45 again-varsity!!! cardio!!!, walked across brooklyn bridge (a little regret although i wanted to walk, but my bag was heavy and there were too many tourists to brisk walk) 
also the reason for this is that after my soba/miso/salad/shrimp dinner last night i was just watching a bunch of netflix shows and it was probably the caffeine from puerto rican roasting company - the barista made me a chai cappuccino with almond milk (3 SHOTS!!!)
me and nat couldn’t sleep, i really think i slept for an hour. i watched so many different shows, yoko and john’s documentary, while we were young, anthony bourdain, i was seriously flipping through all the shows and alternating between amazonprme and youtube and netflix and i even tried watching peaceful cuisine and making the brightness lower and had the sleep mode on and wow i just couldn’t sleep
so yeah the birth of this word vomit 
i am going to create more things
1 note · View note
xz017 · 5 years
Text
.
oof. okay so imma do the latest tea???
got out of shower to hear my mum talkin to Agnes spillin the tea abt their friend/coworker
the one with that Kid my mum wanted to have a playdate with or whatever the annoyingly studious and clearskinned halfasian lookin girl i really envied.
her mum has a live in boyfriend who is basically like...an alcoholic mental case rip god i hate alcohol and i hate people who drink it like i only do it so i hate myself more and die but like this guy basically playin with knives n guns in the house and the kid who is like 19 idk why im callin her kid is so Over it like apparently she hasn’t been coming home and like
basically me in 2016 era when my mum was too generous n Helpful lettin ppl back into our lives and our House so i spent christmas morning 5am walkin in the cold n watchin 3 films until it got dark and stuff like that
girl be actin homeless---mood
so it came to a head today so Agnes is spillin the tea n her husband in the bg(omg it weird hearin him rip he was my military hs instructor wild) n my mUM is so selfrighteous n mad like
‘blablahblah well rosalie is being dumb she should put her daughter first she being sick in the head it her Choice’
n im like eavesdroppin havin warflashbacks of the dumb hypocrisy she has DOne lmao
‘has she no thought like what if Tyler gets raped/sexually abused by that man she’d let her daughter be in that environment???’
i mean it wouldnt be fair of me to be like...eyemoji on this cos she technically doesn’t know? but 19 may 2018 never4get lmao
anyway so my mum’s like our room is for rent and it’ll be far cheaper they dont even have to pay rn!!!
cue me being like...um...Money...generosity...i dont...LIke
i was conflicted here like idk i met the girl like 3-5 times im envious of her work ethic n her better asian disposition than mine cos she obviously prettier but she has better prospects and that’d suck if her life be like that
but also??? like...life be like that it was like that to me like who saved me????????????????????? 
um...no one
like why is that on me or US TO BE NICE n helpful im so tired like damn which is relevant to the next point anyway
cos earlier had a convo with my mum i was eyemojing healthcare profs i was like ‘pls stop bein on ye phone pls tell me info on ye opinion on respiratory therapists...what abt PA’
n deadass she be eyemojing me like STICK TO YOUR COURSE
n i was like...-ugly pleadin emoji eyes- n i was tryin to explain that i didn’t want to be so focused on one thing that if i decide this medical thing is what i want to pursue i’d need 1-2 years just for the PREREQS which is like 5 classes and 1000 clinical hours or minimum 6 month healthcare paid job. like if i decide i want to go to school for that i already have the Stuff and just Apply.
n she was like...you had your chance i bothered you to be a nurse a few years ago you were stubborn if you did as i said you’d be earning good money now but you wasted time
n i was like...oof i can’t say anything to that it’s tru. it real life tea it fax i wasted time n im old n im ruunnin out of time i hate myself alot i hate hate hate
and idk we got to talkin abt money n life cos she was like you have to find something you can learn to LOve
n i was like??? WHY I GOTTA SETTLE N FOOL MYSELF TO DO SO im super annoyed abt that mindset
cos the thing about a bloody Arts degree is there’s too fuckin many broad possibilities n they all aint even that good. like deadass if i was a STEM major ugh like if i was a Bio major prospects are so clear: forensics, research, premed,labtech. Meanwhile polsci for example: uhhh teacher? prelaw? politician? uhhh government work? n there’s like 111 different subdivisions of that n it’s like??? wat the fuck
deadass what am i gonna do with international security is that even gonna pay well like...the fuck do i know is it relevant ??? Doubts
n she was all like...PEOPLE JUST GOTTA DO WHAT THEY HAVE TO TO SURVIVE YOU GOTTA FIND YOURS N STICK WITH IT
n i was lowkey panique n frustrated cos i really REALLY hate being stuck in 1 ting n im like i HAD ACTING YOU SAID NO
n she was like pFF i wanted you to have something REAL cos if you dont make it in acting you’d be on the STREETS
n i was like...lmao lil did she know imma be on the streets next year smh this year actually
n she was like talkin abt the harsh reality of the workforce and how you gotta make do at how ppl treat you (patients) n how you might not even like your coworkers but you gotta deal with it because that’s what ppl do to survive
n she was talkin abt undeserving patients with no healthcare n i was like did you just hear yourself so you want them to die cos they dont got money and she was like 
no??? why get hooked up in the ICU when you’re braindead wasting government money taxes we payed for you don’t understand cos you dont have a job and dont get your salary cut cos of taxes and these people come in acting like they got something to give when they yell at your face acting like they know what they’re talking about they act entitled when they have nothing homeless ppl getting money and illegal immigrants are selfish bringing their kids to be hurt here
n im like...theyre life is ...shitty what are you talkin about n she was like so? why dont they stay and make it better??? one of my very first patients asked me why i was in america and i said i come from a poor country and they said why didn’t you stay and try to make it better? and i couldn’t say anything cos u know what they were right why dont illegal immigrants do that??? n im like...
cos theyre literally...RUNNIN and they want ppl they care abt i.e. children to be far away from that as soon as possible bruh ye think imma wait for change deadass there a reason why we suffer duterte he actually get shit done??? we dont have to wait for change the same way ppl who speak nice n are polite do but is stuck with bureaucracy and lowkey bein corrupt deadass stay in ye lane
n she’s like well i hope you’re right im done bein an idealist im a realist now i believed in good i wanted to help the world now no more
n im like...no you’re not a realist, you’ve just been hangin out with a republican
and she gave me a sideeye 
but deadass im ...scared like i really hate the empathy because when she was being serious n talkin n being honest abt things for once i started to unwillingly see things from her point of view i really felt it n i was scared i’ll be like that im scared she’s right
im scared i’ll end up Real n selfish like...i already am ? n bitter? like i care about so very few Personally and am willin to let others suffer to keep it safe n prioritised?
im scared.
like especially with racism all these years my mum’s been telling me it’s not that im racist just wait til you work with them they act so entitles and loud and make everything about race
n i almost told Her abt it earlier i skyped w her earlier we had a tea spillin moment about our ethnic relations bein racist but then idk we talked alot i guess the text got buried or unseen
like i said i was scared n didn’t get to unpack it like im scared because ive been livin with my roomate and like...ive been excusing it as a personality thing and that if it were anyone else different skin colour id still hate them just the same which i still maintain is true but like?
my RM is loud n she makes everything abt race like deadass me n my FM be just eating dinner and she passes by us and goes on a rant about harvard asians being a Blok to black ppl from getting There n im like...im tryna have dinner so i can get energy to deal with this stressful ass school
n she always talks like she knows what she’s talking about like ‘jewish ppl control the federal bank’ n im like...it 1am in the dark quiet of our shared room deadass i dont wanna tell the binch thats antisemitism cos she gonna be like im black how can i be racist smh
im!!! scared alright like i hate my roomate for proving my mum right when i try so hard to set things right like maybe that’s why i dont tell anyone about my situation other than Her. i never told my parents about the berkeley livin situation they already warn me enough to be careful n i just keep tellin them thats racist
i have so much........THOUGHTS n........DILEMMAS...n FEARS but like i just have this blog i cant trust anyone else to talk abt it n the only person i am willing to talk to abt it will be busy and im so ashamed abt these things but she was so sweet about givin me the heads up about her schedule 
like i hated that i had to get an ugly ass haircut today cos she came back to me n we couldve talked so i guess rip she was complacent n did stuff cos she replied late from then on like that dumbass haircut was 15 minutes ugh. our talkin pattern today was like...dashed lines timereply wise? i asked her if she packed earlier (pre haircut)n she said yes but rip a few hours later she was like...I need to pack 
wat is the truth rip
the tablet bein emo like...mood but my child rip.
my love be packin n spendin time with fam before leavin for london tomorrow
n even after that she doin...Stuff. rip.
which is ye know good for her rip.
i just hope she dont go iceskatin deadass one slip n she can crack her head open or break her neck or paralyse her spine like...??? why do humans wanna do dumb activities
like omg she admitted to me today she a serial jaywalker and WORSE with music n headphones like
binch thats why i didnt wanna enable you further by gettin ye airpods deadass bye
n she was like??? tryna equate it with my risky risk like ummm
mine is for science n validity
hers is just carelessness n chosin lazy convenience over idk...the responsibility of self vigilance like...
bruh ppl shouldnt promise someone 91 years if they be continuin to do dumb stuff consciously oof rip
but other than that like...im...really proud of this resolution she be undertakin officially on the 14th?
im nervous abt it cos i really want it for her too. i want her to get the proper sleep n i always hated her givin excuses like ‘IM FINE ON 4 HOURS OF SLEEP’ ‘I NAPPED 3 HOURS 38293820 HOURS AGO IM FINE I MADE UP FOR IT’ um...blokt. get proper sleep binch i love you tf???
prioritise work cos ye gonna regret not givin it yer all??? n ye payin for this???
what fun??? we capitalists now we want that money rip.
i see that shift you know rip i saw it comin a year ago.
that dont mean we republicans rip we still care about others n the inequality? but like i foresaw us getting acquainted with the harsh reality of the world n how difficult it is to get a job--which she experienced along the way.
n rip she wants many things bookmarkin them n honestly same rip
i want a stable warm home for this family n a shiny diamond to get disassociated by extra im a simple man
meanin im selfish n im ready to prioritise meanin im ready to make the choice for others to fall apart/behind if it means puttin This first rip
god pls dont make me a republican this so ugly
# 1 she’d hate me #2 i’d hate me
now im sad
im dead.
omg rip earlier too as she said goodbye i told her i loved her and she was like ‘i love you more’
DEADASS I WAS LIKE LMAO!!! girL i dont think you understand im literally Ready to put you and our possible future First like...im not messin around what skitrips with rich ppl what friends my love is potent n extreme n COncentrated like im sorry ik you feel love for me but you cant top This rip she not ready 
like the um ‘partially wanna make my life’s work abt knowin what might hurt n kill ye so i can kill it first or blok it well’ kinda love
the ‘im already savin for at least HALF a first month deposit in an overpriced london in case you wanna settle down wit me Mayhaps n im not touching it for ANYTHING’ kinda love
the ‘im thinking of a winter home in the tropics so you suffer less n im plannin the floorplans already rip just in case’ kinda extraness
but anyways the gall of this cute lovely human rip ‘i love you more’ ummm try Again smh
bruh i love her too much i bet that’s scary for her rip it might be a Burden tbh she so young rip 
meanwhile im old n ready to rot but like...
i wanna be mortal wit ye before i do
but ye know wat lads i saw myself in the mirror today like 5 times OOF. this meatform...keepin me...Humble. 
bitter but like...humble
‘like of course sHe not ready not only is my personality like dis but also...my outward form how could she introduce me as a Spouse’
‘wow i look like that oof it good i remembered i am undeservin of full intense love like in the films n fanfiction they always between attractive ppl after all it only 1/2 it not Equal’
‘wow bruh ye really upset she spendin time n resources elsewhere when you be lookin like That? ye dont have much to offer bro take the L’
oof so that’s the personal tea i can think of?
had a meghan marke talk rip i can’t believe i was right??? i had twin vibes!!! but i was hoping for like a variety situation rip im worried a lil abt the whole birthin Late ting but she can afford the highest care rip it fine she rich.
my love was talkin abt how pretty MM was n i was like rip is she triggerin Her a lil rip worrirooni
rip speakin of babies like she was showin me this smol gummybear n im like same das me heart n she was like :( n i was like it only fits you
n she was like so no children then:(
n i was like!!! rip if it Ours of course that Counts n i was a lil shook like rip she said she didn’t want them Really so i always get guilty when i talk abt the future or realise i mentioned kids or carelessly name drop Hyaline n Benzion like...im dead rn just typin that like what if she read this big shame bro
but ye know what this is already long n she gonna be busy maybe that’s the key. TOo Much puts ppl OFF so ye mayhaps we sneaky ! ?
anyway i was tryin to get her thoughts on it rip but like she was all iDK ASK ME IN 13 Yrs n i was like...
sighemoji + sandemoji + resignedemoji
rip we talked FAaC a lil. cos she Dared!!! to liken me to her brother just cos i showed her my cheap youth boy shoes smh
At first i was super offended n disgusted but then i was like rip eyemoji if ye into that
then she was like ew nO
then i was like um ye already play the ‘daddy u like me young huh’ card
which is like idk is like technically? joking but it’s like that post ye know abt ppl bein ‘whether or not im actually jokin or flirtin depends if you into it’ but also like schrodingers racism like ‘it was a joke bro!!!’ but they actually bigots.
so it DIFFICULT for my brain to Confirm rip like...eyemoji what is the truth
but like??? im rip. willin. rip. to. rip. Try. rip.?
really i am rip. it Her. bruh. im only hopin she dont have a golden shower kink but. trust i...Will follow thru.
nO IM REMEMBERIN THE DOO DOO POST DESPAIR
rip anyway that whole thing reminded me of FAaC origins which was porn n then somehow sHe was like imagine if egggsy was a singer he’d sing like ‘age is just a number’ shit n i SPILLED THE TEA ABOUT A TING IN PT 3 im so weak sand
i miss the gays
i wanna give them justice n happiness but the 2027 excuse is rl nice for my ugly procrastination issues oof but i wish them well
add: rip had another talk with my mum i really wanted her to understand my thought process about wanting to get the prereqs for medtraining done beforehand
n she was like...I UNderstand but Normal people--
n i was like ‘IM NOT NORMAL I DONT KNOW HOW TO CHOOSE I HAVE NO IDENTITY’
n she’s just like SHOOKE n mad n clearly dont understand that im fukt up in the head ‘...IC AN’T BELIEVE YOU!!! iF YOU’RE ABNORMAL YOU WONT GET HIRED N YOU WONT HAVE A NICE JOB’
n im like...well i mean what can i say to that it’s not like it’s not tru rip
Big sand honestly.
it gonna be a long few days imma do my best to leave her alone she needs her time rip i love her so much rip sand
i feel like a dumb ugly dog god fljækadfkøad h8
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huangfilms · 6 years
Text
Florist!Donghyuck
summary: hi i really hate this person and i saw your sign that you make personal bouquets and i would like you to make one where it gives the message of how much i hate them if it isn’t too much to ask for 
requested by: a lovely anon!! thanks love❤️
(A/N) ajsdhgf okay so She Is Here!!! i don’t know what i wrote!! i always never know what i write cause when i write sometimes i just black out and suddenly its finished but i hope this is what you wanted you lovely anon!!! thank you for requesting <333
okay so you just recently went through a break up
that fool was the biggest asshole ever and you don’t even know w hy
so you broke up with them !!! good for u sis !! 
honestly they cheated on u with a close friend of yours and you just,,, didn’t care anymore
well you didnt care That Much Anymore
u still care to the point where u are 2day
and thats going to a florist to passive aggressively say how much u hate them in flowers
i mean u saw a sign that says ‘we make personalized bouquets!!’ so u hope they can just do this For You
so you walk in a lil angry 
and you have This Mad Face and the florist currently working thinks its the cutest thing
the florist is donghyuck
and he just sees you fuming and you look?? like a lil baby munchkin so adorable omg
and so hes just waiting for you to say something And Eventually You Do Say Something
he didnt expect this rant to come out of ur mouth
‘my s/o just cheated on me like a week ago and Yes i am still mad about it and i saw your sign about making personalized bouquets and i just wanted to ask if you can make the most Passive Aggressive bouquet so i can tell them that i hate them without actually telling them i hate them??’
and you say more but at the end of your little rant donghyuck is just trying to hold in his laughter because youre so adorable omg
and hes all like,, ‘sure sweets,,, also,,,,,,, do u need to talk about it? i can have it done by the end of the day and i could use sum company since ill b the only one on duty’
and u get shocked cause LMAOOO this cute ass florist really b out here! making ur heart beat fast! just by asking u to keep him company!
___ don’t fall for the first person to b nice to you since ur break up challenge [FAILED]
so ur like,,, ive got no plans so sure
and you just hang around and look through all of the flowers
and while youre looking around youre just asking him what each flower means
and some beautiful flowers have the most unpleasant meanings LMAOOO
and hyuck is just living for this cause you are just so adorable lkdfjha
it becomes like 5 PM so suddenly and you needa go home cause yo mama will b wondering where u been for the last few hours LMAO
so you tell him that hey,,, you gotta leave but youll come back tomorrow to pick up the flowers!!!
‘it was nice meeting you donghyuck ! im y/n’
and u see him melt from u saying his name
its the cutest sight omg
and so you just leave and hyuck is just in awe because wow ! youre adorable t h e
so he just spends the rest of his time making the bouquet of hatred
its not that much time, he closes the store at 7 since hes got a lot of stuff to do like hw since hes in his last year of highschool
but anywho
you come back the next day bright and early on saturday
and hyuck is there bright and early
and you just greet him with a big smile and then u remember why ur there and ur smile is g o ne 
so you asking him if the bouquet is done and how much it is and all that jazz
and he says that ur total comes out to an even $11 so u give him exact change and then u ask what kinda flowers he included
so he goes into detail about each of them (i know nothing of flowers just the most basic info like red roses mean a deep love or whatever LMAO)
then at the end of his explanation you just evilly grin and ask him to write on a card very nicely of the names of each flower he included
he does just that and then he gives you a big smile ! the actual sun? yes.
and you tip him some money and then you wave him goodbye! and then the actual sun is not shining anymore cause you left
when you give your ex s/o the bouquet, you tell them ‘here, search each flower that was written on this card and find out their meanings, have a nice life.’
and you just leave cause!! wooo frick them! u r free !
then u miss donghyuck even tho u met him like yesterday
smh
like he was real witty and funny when u guys talked
u just go home nd ur all like ‘SIGH’ and ur mom is just wondering if your okay LMAOO
but the next day u plan on seeing him just cause
but to make it not loo k like ur just trying to see him,,, u buy a SINGLE flower
when hyuck sees u walk in the shop he Lights Up omghhshs
The Actual Sun Im Telling You
‘hey hyuck!! how r u!!’ and he MELTS
YOURE SO DJSJJD AADORABLEKFJS
well anyway you guys chat for a while and you decide youre going to buy a carnation or something
‘just a single flower?’ and he shyly grins at u
you turn the cutest shade of pink abby uwus her way thru this headconnon pt three
then he chuckles a lil and you laugh a bit with him
while hes totaling up your single flower, you chat with him some more
‘here’s your flower, have a nice day!’ and he smiles His Smile u all know what im talking about
and youre Sad Again
this continues for weeks
you buying ONE flower, him being the sun, u guys pining talking
you guys get to know each other more and more over the weeks go by
and suddenly you have these???feelings??? for the sun??? yes.
but of course you dont Say Anything cause he might not like u like that and u would still like to talk to him even if its just as friends
but sis,,,, u have No Idea that donghyuck has been Pining Over You Since Forever
cause sometimes you ask him to pick your single flower for the day and its him confessing his feelings through flowers but you dont need to know that
the Cutest Shit I Know
but then he just sighs when you leave and he feels the hurt of unrequited love
hyuck bub,,, chill out sweetie
IF YALL WOULD JUST OPEN UR FUCKIN EARS THEN YALL WOULD BE TOGETHER BUT I MEAN I G U E S S
literally everyone is rooting for you guys,,,, i cant--
everyone sees The Eyes whenever you guys look at each other, but the other isnt looking at you
sometimes hyuck even turns Red just by looking at you, like you dont even catch him or anything he just turns red
but hyuck is just like,,,,, hnnngg maybe they like me,,,,,,,,, so he picks out an aster and tells u to search up the meaning for this one this time
(its a symbol of love/daintiness) 
and when u do your heart absolutely Soars
because!! he likes you too!!! what !!!
when you come back the next day you just find him and pull him into a hug and say ‘i like you too’ and hyuck turns pink and its dshalkadorablejdf
and so he asks you out on a date and its cute cause you say yes!
the day of the date he takes you to a flower field and he picks small flowers and sticks them in both your hair and his
ITS ! SO ! CUTE !
and many dates later hyuck finally asks you to be his! and u! yell ! yes!
saldkjhflakjsdh
OKAY BUT hycuk finding the most beautiful flowers to give you
like a red or white camellia !! (red means: youre a flame in my heart, white means: youre adorable!!)
and he just tells you the meanings cause you deserve to know and he wants u to hear it from him
ONE DAY HE GIVES YOU A BOUQUET OF DAISYS ! (innocence ! loyal love !) and hyuck is always shy when telling you the meanings
few months into your relationship, he gives you a red chrysanthemum,,,,, sister !
and you understand this one because you are IN LOVE with these flowers because they mean--
‘I love you.’
you then look up with a few tears in your eyes and you say--
‘i love you too, hyuck’ and you give him the biggest hug ever!!!
everything is soft everything is cute
im always soft whats new queens
but anyway!!! end!! hyuck as a florist would be so cute??? but him as ur bf AND a florist??? EVEN CUTER!
so! end!!! hyuck deserves the whole world omg
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