#itsbeeble masterlist
Text
Doll
Summary: You and Hyunjae had never really gotten along. But, since he was your brother’s best friend, you couldn’t exactly avoid him your whole life. Especially now that Sangyeon has enlisted Hyunjae to help you study for your classes.
Genre: Fluff, Smut, e2l (kinda)
Pairing: brother’s best friend!Lee Hyunjae x afab!reader
WC: ~6.5k
WARNINGS UNDER CUT
Warnings: Uhhh public sex (car sex), slight age gap (Hyunjae is two years older than reader), oral (m and fem receiving), pet names, switch!Hyunjae, switch!reader, Haknyeon might be scarred for life, swearing, mentions of chemistry, they make out in a library, face-fucking kinda, threats, reader almost kicks the bucket, Hyunjae jumps out a window, Sangyeon is NOT happy, idrk there’s a lot happening MDNI!!!
A/N: Yeah this is uh... yeah
~
“This is so easy, how are you not understanding?” Hyunjae is hunched over beside you, scowling at the seemingly infinite number of red marks he’d made on your worksheet. You scoff at him.
“Sorry to burst your little bubble, Lee Jaehyun, but maybe you should consider the fact that Chemistry doesn’t come easy for everyone.” Maybe take that stick out of your ass and you’d see that.
Lee Jaehyun, or as most people like to call him, Hyunjae was a straight A student. He was nearly perfect in everything. Perfect grades, perfect voice, perfect face, perfect body. He was perfect when it came to the sports he played, he had the perfect family and home. The only horrid thing about him was his attitude.
He was cruel. To you, at least. Maybe just to you, his best friend’s little sister. Maybe he just didn’t like you because you always seemed to be around, always trying to one-up him in everything related to school. Trying to be better than him at math, at english, at extracurriculars. You joined the debate team in high school just to spite him. And he’d be damned if he ever said he felt threatened by you.
If you were being honest, you really didn’t hate him. You liked him, even though he clearly didn’t care for you. You looked up to him, similar to how you looked up to your brother, but Hyunjae was different. He wasn’t just your brother’s best friend. At some point you started going out of your way to try to impress him, even if it never ended well for you. You wanted to spend more time with him, get to know him more.
“I would think that you’d be decent at this,” he sneers at you, “given how you seem to be so good at everything else.” You bite down on your tongue and turn back to the worksheet. The mistakes you’d made were so silly, so you understand why he’d be confused that you’re getting them wrong. Simple miscalculations when balancing equations, simple miscalculations for enthalpy. All of them were simple, and yet somehow you consistently got them wrong. “Your brother wouldn’t be making these mistakes. I thought you idolized him.”
“I’m not Sangyeon,” you snap. “Plus, why would he be taking a chemistry class as an Econ major? He doesn’t need this shit.”
“Gen eds, doll.” Hyunjae smirks at you. “We all had to do them at some point.”
Your tongue was starting to hurt from how hard you were biting on it to avoid yelling at him. You’d forgotten that Sangyeon and Hyunjae were already in their third year of college while you were barely starting your second.
“Don’t call me doll,” you slide your chair forward and lower your head. “Give me another worksheet.” Hyunjae shakes his head. “Dude, give me a worksheet. Let me try again.”
“I’m not giving you another worksheet,” he says as he begins to pack up his things. “You clearly aren’t understanding anything I’m teaching you, so why should I keep helping?” You rise from your chair at the same time as he does, your eyes going wide.
“There’s no way you’re giving up because I get mixed up sometimes.” He looks down at you, almost annoyed that you’re still talking to him. “Lee Jaehyun, you cannot be serious.”
“I’m dead serious, doll. I don’t know why your brother asked me to help you when it’s clear there’s nothing I can do for you.” He turns to walk away, and your hand latches onto his wrist, attempting (and failing) to pull him back. He’s taller than you and definitely a lot stronger. You barely even get him to wobble on his feet, and he hardly stops walking toward the exit of the library. Now, you’re just being dragged along with him.
“Why do you hate me so much?” You jog to stand in front of him, walking backwards (in hindsight, you should’ve known that was a bad idea). “Like, I’ve never done anything wrong to you but you just fucking hate me for no reason. Why?” He’s looking down at you while he walks, jaw tense and eyes narrowed into a glare.
“You’re stuck up and think you’re better than everyone.”
“Yeah, but so do you!” You argue.
“You’re more annoying about it though. Like everyone has to know that you think you’re better than them.” He spits out, and the two of you stop walking, standing outside of the library. The cold air of November bites into your skin, slipping through the gaps of your knit sweater. “You just have to brag about every achievement you get, about every goal you make in soccer, and every award you get from school. You think you’re just some fucking princess that everyone needs to bow down to.”
“Again, you’re the same way!” You snap. You’re walking backwards again, hardly paying attention to where you’re going with how focused you are on Hyunjae. “You’re constantly shooting me down, when all I’ve ever done is look up to you! All I’ve ever done is try to impress you, but you just have to make me feel bad about myself huh?”
Hyunjae’s eyes widen a fraction, his lips parting as he listens to you talk. He’s not walking any longer, but you are. You’re backing toward the stairs leading to the parking lot and he reaches forward to stop you.
“Doll,” he tries to get your attention but you’re on a tangent now.
“Maybe I went too far sometimes, but it’s only because you’re my brother’s best friend and I wanted you to notice me!”
“Doll,” Hyunjae tries again and takes a step forward. You’re getting closer to the first step, just inches from backing off the edge.
“But you’re right. Little old Lee Y/N can’t possibly be worth helping, she’s too dumb for you isn’t she? She isn’t enough for you to not—”
“Y/N!” Hyunjae lurches forward when your foot slips from under you. For a moment you flail in the air, arms waving while you attempt to get your balance. Your brother’s best friend grabs one of your arms, yanking you toward him and pressing you tightly to his chest. Your body spun, and you found yourself pressed against the railing, your face squished against the tall man who had his arms wrapped fully around you.
You can feel your heart pounding, and you can feel his own, It’s rapid against your cheek, slamming against his ribs. He’s warm. His body is warm, and your hands tighten around his jacket. Call it desperation, but you know this is the only time Hyunjae would ever touch you and you wanted to make the most of it while it lasted.
“Are you dumb?” Hyunjae pulls you away from you, holding you an arms-length away while he scans you over. “Why the fuck would you walk backward near a staircase?” He looks angry, and you duck your head into your chest.
“I’m sorry,” you mutter, “I know it was stupid but I just—”
“What if you had gotten hurt, doll?” He interrupts, his grip on your shoulders tightening. “What then, huh? I’d never be able to forgive myself.”
“Didn’t realize you cared that much about me,” you try to joke. His frown only deepens, and you begin to shrink in on yourself.
“Of course I care about you!” Your heart begins to pound again. “You’re my best friend’s little sister, why wouldn’t I care about you?” And then it sinks. You just got best-friend’s-little-sister-zoned.
You wonder if he ignored everything you’d said before the fall. Maybe he did. Maybe it’s for the best that he did. Save yourself the rejection, move on with your life. Easy enough.
“I dunno,” you shrug, “figured you hated me enough to let me fall.” Hyunjae scoffs and grabs you by the arm to start dragging you back to the car.
“Idiot.”
~
“So what you’re telling me,” Haknyeon sits across from you, his chemistry textbook open but going ignored as he listens to you talk about what happened with Hyunjae. Since the staircase…incident he hasn’t spoken to you, and you really needed to pass chemistry so you enlisted your friend to help. “He calls you doll, acts like he hates you, then you confess to him and fall down the stairs, he saves you in the most romantic way, then brother’s-best-friend-zones you?”
“Yeah, pretty much,” You dig your pencil into your lip, listening to it click while you read through one of the practice problems that Haknyeon gave you. “And since then he hasn’t spoken to me.”
“What a dick. You’re doing that one wrong, by the way.” He slides his chair across the library’s old carpet to sit next to you. “Finding the delta-H of a reaction is products minus reactants, not the other way around.” His shoulder is brushing against yours while he explains and writes down how to do the problem correctly.
One of the doors to the library opens and you glance up, almost immediately locking eyes with Hyunjae. Your stomach sinks when he narrows his eyes at Haknyeon.
“Oh shit,” you mutter, dropping your gaze again.
“Please don’t tell me that Lee Hyunjae just walked into the library and currently looks like he wants my head on a spike.” Your friend is now frozen, speaking quietly out of the corner of his mouth.
“I will not confirm nor deny any of what you just said.”
“If that man kills me, I will kill you.” Haknyeon hisses, and you just smile at him. Hyunjae is sitting at a table nearby, and you feel that familiar sinking feeling in your chest when he looks at you again.
“He’s not gonna kill you. Laugh as if I said something funny.” You jab him in the side and he starts cackling loudly, gathering the attention of several other students around you. “Not that loud, genius!” He quiets his laughter, and you can see the flush rising on his cheeks. “God you’re dumb.”
“What am I supposed to do? The hottest man I’ve ever seen looks like he’ll snap me in half if I touch you! I’m terrified!” He grabs you by the shoulder, and you hear his chair scrape against the ground. “Oh god he’s gonna kill me and it’s your fault, you bitch.”
“Y/N,” Hyunjae’s hand comes to rest on your shoulder, and he bends down to the opposite ear so you can hear him better. Your body goes rigid, and you feel his breath brushing against the side of your neck. “A word, please?” You turn your head, leaning back so you aren’t so close to him. He’s staring at you, a mix of emotions swimming in his eyes.
“Uh,” you glance at your friend, but he’s already shoving his face back into his textbook. “Yeah, sure. Hak, I’ll be—”
“Yup, go ahead, have fun.” Your friend spits out and then Hyunjae is pulling you up and walking you toward a dark corner of the library.
“Is this where you kill me?” You joke, but he doesn’t laugh. He’s facing away from you, hands shoved into the pockets of a loose jacket. “Damn, killjoy much?”
“You sure move on fast, huh?” You reel back and he turns to face you completely, a small smile practically stapled to his lips. “With tutoring, I mean. You were able to replace me just fine.”
“Oh, uh,” you blink, “yeah I guess. Hak is a great…teacher? Jaehyun are you okay?” His jaw tenses before he responds again, taking a few steps toward you until he’s just inches from you, and you’re pressed against a bookshelf.
“You know you’re the only person who calls me Jaehyun? Not even my own parents call me that.” His head is tilted, his eyes half-lidded while he looks at you. “Why is that?”
“I, um,” your brain is faltering, overwhelmed by him. The way he looms over you, the way his fingers dance across your waist, the way he’s looking at you like you’re his last meal. “I don’t— spite, maybe? Jae, you’re getting really…really close.”
“Does that bother you, doll?” He asks, he’s only a few inches away, and you’re getting the urge to lean up and press your lips against his.
“N-nope. Not at all. In fact,” Your hands are wrapped around his jacket, holding him so he can’t step away from you, “this is great.” He smiles, and you don’t see joy in it. You see mischief and lust.
“Really?”
“Mhm.” One of his hands slides up to grip your chin between his thumb and pointer finger.
“And what if,” his voice is just a whisper, his breath fanning your cheek when he tilts your head to the side. “I did this?”
His lips are warm against your skin. Warm, and soft, and your breath is hitching in your throat andd you know he can feel it. Hyunjae kisses your neck right below your ear, his teeth just scraping against the tender skin and his lips sucking gently. Your eyes are fluttering, your body leaning closer to his. His hand releases your jaw, finding its way back to your waist while your own hands slide up to tangle in his hair.
He slides his lips down, trailing them across your neck and sucking little pink marks into the skin.
“Should—” you stumble over your sentence when Hyunjae pulls your shirt to the side, placing kisses to your collarbone. “Should we b-be doing this?” He hums, and the vibrations against your skin have you gasping.
“What do you mean, doll?” He pulls away, leaning back up to look you in the eye. His eyes are halflidded and dark, filled with the lust you had seen in his smile. Your jaw drops open a bit, your hands sliding back down to his shoulders when he leans toward you again.
“I just— I mean— what would Sangyeon think?” Hyunjae rolls his eyes. “I’m seri—” He’s kissing you before you can finish that sentence. It’s a rough, searing kiss and the suddenness has you gasping. With your mouth now open, Hyunjae is able to slip his tongue into your mouth. It dances along your own, tracing every inch of the wet cavern of your mouth. Your lips are slightly chapped against his, and you wonder if he notices. You wonder if he cares, but the way he groans against your mouth tells you he doesn’t. That he cares only about the way your lips mold against his, the way your tongue dances against his own, and the way your body seems to fit perfectly to his.
“Who—” his lips press against yours as he speaks, “cares— what— he— thinks?”
Hyunjae presses further against you, pressing you into the bookshelf, and you can feel the kiss becoming sloppy. You can feel the spit beginning to slide down your chin, but when you try to wipe it away your brother’s best friend pins your arm above your head. You squeak into his mouth, feeling him smile against you.
He pulls back just slightly, catching your lower lip between his teeth and watching your eyes flutter, listening to the whine that escapes you.
Hyunjae says something to you, something you don’t catch, and then he squeezes your hip.
“Sorry. What did you say?” He smiles, and this time you know he’s amused. There’s a little twinkle in his eye, and you find yourself smiling along with him.
“I said,” he drawls, “that we should get out of here.”
“Oh…” you hum. “Yeah, no, yeah we should.” He tilts your head up again, his eyes narrowing.
“Are you okay, doll?”
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” You reassure him, “Just…a little shocked, I guess?”
“Shocked,” he echoes, tilting his head to the side. “Shocked about what, doll?” You shrug, your cheeks starting to burn from the way he stares at you.
“You’re just…you’re a really good kisser.” You’re mumbling, but you know by the way his smile grows that he heard you.
“What was that?” He coos, turning his head so he can “hear you better”. You scoff. “I didn’t quite catch what you said. I’m a really good what?”
“I said you’re a dick,” you snap and push him away from you, your cheeks now blazing. He trails after you, practically giggling at the reaction he pulled out of you. Haknyeon is still at the table when you come into view and you see his eyes go wide when he sees you.
“What…happened to you?” You grab your jacket and bag, shaking your head.
“I’ll tell you tomorrow, Hak.” You feel Hyunjae’s hand on the small of your back, urging you along and you watch your best friend’s eyes bug out of his head.
“He— you— are you two—”
“She said she’ll tell you tomorrow, Hak.” Hyunjae says sharply, now firmly pushing you along. “Let’s go, doll.”
~
You’re in his car, straddling his waist in the backseat. Your lips are pressed against his in a rough kiss, much sloppier than in the library. It’s a mess of tongue and teeth and spit and his skin is so warm against yours. Your hands are underneath his shirt, but his are under your own shirt. You can feel goosebumps rising on your skin where his hands trace. Your waist, your stomach, your back, underneath your breasts. He’s so gentle with you. You, on the other hand, are rough. Your hands are digging into the skin of his abdomen, sliding across his abs and up to his chest. He hisses when your nails dig into him, undoubtedly leaving little crescents into his golden skin.
You pull away only briefly, a string of spit connected between the two of you. He’s staring at you with awestruck eyes, staring at the marks he left on your skin, at the knots he made in your hair, at the stretched collar of your shirt from where he pulled on it.
“What happened to what Sangyeon would think?” Hyunjae’s hand slip to cup your ass over your jeans.
“I’m not the one that’s gonna have to tell him that his best friend fucked his little sister in the backseat of his car in the library parking lot.” You tug your shirt over your head, tossing it to the front seat. To be fair, Hyunjae moved the car into the darkest corner of the lot, but his windows weren’t tinted and if security came around to check what was up, you’d both be fucked (in more ways than one). “Besides, should you really be worrying about that right now?”
Hyunjae lowers his mouth to your chest, placing wet, sloppy kisses to the soft skin while you unhook your bra and let it slide off your arms.
“You’re really gonna make me do it? All on my own?” He gazes up at you and you can only smile at him.
“If you want me to suck your dick, yeah. You will.” His grip on your waist tightens and his eyes go wide. You lift his head, connecting your lips again as you begin to roll your hips against his. He hisses out, letting his head fall back at the sudden pressure against his growing erection. You let your eyes drift closed, enjoying the friction, enjoying the pleasure each roll of your hips sends up your spine until you decide it isn’t enough. Until the quiet, gasping breaths that escape the boy under you aren’t enough. Until you need more.
You force yourself off of him, pushing yourself as far back as you can in the cramped backseat of his car, the little waves of pleasure dissipating as you undo the button of your pants and begin to tug them down. Hyunjae watches you, eyes hazy and chest heaving under his shirt. You pause in your motions and stare at him with a cocked eyebrow.
“What?” He exhales heavily and you scoff, kicking his leg. He hisses, lifting his head and glaring at you.
“You really think I’m gonna be the only one undressing? Take your shit off, Lee Jaehyun.” He sits up, leaning toward you. Challenging you.
“Why would I do that, doll?” He coos. “I quite enjoy the little show you’re putting on for me.” You can hear the little tremor in his voice, can see his cock straining against his jeans. You love the act he puts on, the way he wants you to think he’s in charge, so you play along.
You widen your eyes, playing the role of a desperate little girl. He may be older, but you’re smarter. You’ve known him long enough to get an idea of what he likes, just based on what you’ve accidentally overheard from his conversations with your older brother.
“Jae,” you practically purr, leaning forward and letting him see the way you’re squeezing your breasts together with your arms. He watches you lace your hands together, tenses when you place them on his knees and bring yourself forward until your mouth is right next to his ear. His breathing hitches when your breasts brush against his chest. “Can you please take your clothes off, baby?” You press a gentle kiss to his jaw. “I promise I’ll be good.”
He doesn’t respond, but you can hear him shuffling, hear the zipper of his pants and feel him shoving the garment down his legs as fast as he can. His shirt follows after, and you lean back with a pretty little smile on your lips as you slowly pull your jeans down. Hyunjae watches you carefully, practically drooling as more and more of your skin is exposed to him. More for him to touch, to feel, to play with.
When the last bit of your legs is exposed and your jeans are thrown to the side, he tugs you onto his lap again. You both hiss when his fully erect cock presses against your core, when the slick fabric of your underwear brushes against him and leaves a small damp spot on his boxers. Your hand rises to the back of his neck, nails scratching gently as you begin to roll your hips again.
You aren’t slow this time, you aren’t gentle with him. You grind against him as if you’re already riding his cock. You roll your hips in gentle circles, pressing down hard with each drag of your hips. This is the pleasure you were searching for. This is soothing the ache that had been building and building since the night at the staircase.
You listen to the pitiful whines that leave Hyunjae’s mouth, listen to the gasps, and the pleas. You feel the way he lifts his hips to meet yours, thrusting harder and harder with each moan of his name that leaves your mouth.
“D-doll,” Hyunjae whimpers, “Y/N, please. ‘M s-so close, doll, please.”
“Please what, baby?” You lower your head to his neck, sucking harsh purple marks into his skin and running your tongue over each one to sooth the burn you know is there. “Hmm? What do you need from your doll?”
“You pro-promised,” he pleaded, squeezing at your hips and trying desperately to get you to stop. You can feel his dick twitching underneath you, and your hips only move faster and harder against him. You can see the tears welling up in his eyes.
“What did I promise, Jae?” You ask. “Tell me.”
“You prom— promised you’d— that you’d suck me off.” You kiss your teeth, slowing your hips. Your own body is screaming at you, begging you for the release you’d just ripped away from both of you. You, unlike Hyunjae, are good at hiding how desperate you really are to have him inside of you. He’s still thrusting into you, whining at the loss of pleasure.
“I did, didn’t I?” You run the back of your hand down his cheek and watch him lean into your touch. “I can’t let my baby suffer now, hmm? Not after he asked so nicely.”
Hyunjae watches in awe as you slide to the ground in front of him, tugging his boxers down with you. He watches as you brush your hand over his leaking cock, running your thumb over the slit and digging in. He whines loudly, jerking his hips into your touch.
You pull your hand away just briefly to spit into your palm, using that and the pearly liquid leaking from his tip to help run your hand up and down on his length, squeezing gently when you get closer to his tip.
When your lips finally wrap around him, a shudder runs down Hyunjae’s body, his back arching and his head falling back. There’s a brief moment between when you first put your mouth on him to when you begin to suck, one where you just watch the older boy twitch and shudder under your touch.
You don’t linger too long, shifting and rising a bit on your knees so you can take more of him down your throat. Your hands grip at his thighs, squeezing tightly when he hits the back of your throat and you have to hold yourself back from gagging. You pull yourself back up, suckling at his tip before bringing yourself back down onto him, taking a bit more of him into your mouth. You repeat these actions until you’re able to take all of him into your mouth.
From there, when you take him down your throat you moan around him, letting the vibrations hit him until his hips jerk up and he’s sent impossibly farther down your throat before pulling yourself back up and digging your tongue into his slit and drinking in the precum that leaks from his cock. He’s a whining, blubbering mess, begging you to go faster. To make him cum. To do anything except tease him, but you don’t listen. You take your time, occasionally pulling off his dick entirely just to watch him suffer.
“‘M close again,” he chokes out, barely heard above the sloppy noises of you choking on his cock time and time again. His eyes, up until this point, have been squeezed shut. He’s afraid that if he looks at you, he’ll bust right then and there. “Fuck, doll, please.”
He makes the fatal mistake of opening his eyes, making direct eye contact with you. His breath hitches in his throat again, his chest tightening. You look so messy, drool running down your chin and onto his balls. Your make up is running down your cheeks, your hands squeezing so tightly at his thighs.
It just takes you sending him into the back of your throat one more time for him to regain control of himself, gripping your hair and sitting up a bit. Your eyes go wide when he thrusts into your mouth the first time. He hears you gag, but he’s just so close. He’s so close, and he can’t help how his hips move faster and faster, each brush of his tip against the back of your throat sending him spiraling just a bit more out of control.
“You thought I’d just let you take control?” he hisses, tugging your face towards his hips when you try to pull away. He can hear your muffled sobs, hear you gagging on him. “Let you run this show? Pretty girl, you have no idea what you just got yourself in—to—” He stutters his last word, his eyes rolling into the back of his head while he empties his load into your throat. He hears you choke and pulls back, letting the last ropes of cum paint your cheeks and your chin while more spills out the side of your mouth.
Hyunjae gasps for breath, watching you pull yourself back onto the seat with your back pressed against the door. He watches you run your fingers through the mess on the lower half of your face, bringing it to your lips. You whine at the taste of him, and he feels his cock twitching back to life already.
Then he notices the lack of underwear on your body. Sometime between you taking control, and him forcing it back you stripped yourself of the last bit of clothing on your body. He turns toward you, wrapping a hand around each of your legs to spread you open. Your eyes are wide again, and you try to protest when he lowers himself to be face-to-face with your sopping wet cunt.
“Such a pretty doll,” he murmurs, bringing a finger to your slit and collecting some of your juices. Your body twitches, trying to pull away from him but he just pulls you closer. “So cute, still trying to be in control of something.”
He runs his tongue all the way up the length of your pussy, stopping to suck on your clit before bringing his tongue back down and repeating that again and again and again. You writhe underneath him, moaning loudly when he digs his tongue into you, practically fucking you with it before he’s slipping two fingers inside of you. You knew it would sting with just one of his fingers, but the burn of two fingers pushing inside of you and immediately beginning to pump in and out of you at a rapid pace has you crying out and curling away from him. He just holds you closer, his fingers scissoring in and out and his mouth sucking relentlessly and the knot inside of you is growing so tight, your body curling and your hands gripping his hair tightly.
Then your body goes slack, your vision blurring and your ears ringing as you release all over the bottom half of his face. He doesn’t relent, doesn’t stop drinking up your release until you’re kicking your legs and shoving his body away from you.
You both gasp for breath, trying to recover. Your body is tingling with your release and you can see Hyunjae leaning against the door opposite you, running his hand up and down his length while he watches you, waiting for his cock to become erect again so he can fuck you.
“So,” his voice is rough, “now that we’re somewhat even, I vote that we both tell Sangyeon that I fucked his little sister in the backseat of my car.” You roll your eyes.
“I just gave you the best suck of your life, and you think I’m gonna tell my big brother that his best friend fucked me? His best friend that’s two years older than me?”
“You’re 21,” Hyunjae frowns, “two years isn’t that bad. If you were 14 and I was 16, then it would be weird, but that’s not the case. We’re both legal adults in college.” His hand slows on his cock, but he keeps his fingers wrapped around the tip. You run your tongue over your lip.
“Jaehyun, I thought you hated me. What changed?” He shrugged.
“Simple. I never hated you. Sure for a while you were just my best friend’s annoying sister, but like…I dunno. I never really hated you, I just didn’t know how else to interact with you. What about you? I thought you hated being around me.”
“Yeah because I wanted to make out with you half the time you were around,” you roll your eyes and let your head rest against the steamed window. Hyunjae sputters out a laugh, throwing his head back and yelping when it slams against the glass. You gasp and jump forward, crawling over his lap to cradle his head.
“Shit, Jae, are you alright?” You run your fingers through his hair, feeling for where his hit his head. He lets his forehead rest against your collarbone, still laughing. “Why would you throw your head back like that?”
“You sure have a funny way of showing that you like me, you know that, doll?” His lips press gently into your skin and you flick the side of his head. He hisses under his breath and pinches your hip.
“You worry me sometimes, Lee Jaehyun.” He hums and brings his hands to your hips. “You gonna fuck me now?” He kisses his teeth and pushes you off his lap until you’re on the leather seats again.
“Hands and knees, doll,” he instructs and you grin.
“Ooh, doggy style. Didn’t think you liked that kind of thing.” You roll onto your hands and knees, lowering the front half of your torso until you’re able to lay your head on your hands and (sort of) gaze back at Hyunjae. You watch him pull a foil packet out of the center console and click your tongue. “Only use one if you want to. I’m clean and on birth control. As long as you’re clean and fine with it, you don’t have to.” You watch the man behind you shudder again.
“God, Sangyeon really is gonna fuckin’ kill me, doll.”
“Problem for tomorrow, really.” You suck in a sharp breath when you feel his tip pressing into your entrance. A quite whine escapes you at the stretch, and Hyunjae rubs your sides to sooth you while he continues to slowly press himself inside of you.
“Almost there, baby.” He assures you. “Just a bit over halfway.”
“Are you shitting me?” you whine. “Why the fuck are you so big?”
“Good genetics, doll.” You feel his hips against your ass and your body relaxes slightly. “Tell me when, okay?”
“Just fucking go already,” you hiss, fighting through the stretch. “God, just fuck me Hyunjae, please.” Your hips roll back against his and he exhales shakily.
“You’re gonna be the death of me.”
“It’s either me or my brother, pick one baby.”
Your teeth dig into your lip when Hyunjae gives an experimental, shallow thrust into you. He pulls out a few more inches and thrusts into you again. When he pulls himself out all the way to the tip, he inhales sharply before plunging into you. Your body jerks forward at the force of it, a moan escaping you, and then he’s plowing into you at full force.
Hyunjae drives his hips into you hard and fast, your body jerking forward so much that you have to grab onto the door to stop yourself from hitting it. The moans you let out become loud cries and screams of his name and you know that if there’s anyone left in the parking lot, they’ll know exactly what’s happening. You can only pray that they know better than to approach the window, pray that they can’t see the way you beg for Hyunjae to move faster, to go harder if that were possible.
“Such a good, pretty girl for me,” Hyunjae tangles a hand in your hair, yanking you back into his chest. The new angle has his cock driving into that spongey spot inside of you time and time again. “So pretty like this, filled with me. But what would Sangyeon think, hm? What will he think of his pretty little sister getting fucked senseless by his best friend, someone he trusted to look after her while she studies?”
“F-fuck, Hyunjae, please!” You beg, clawing at his hands and his hips and the back of his neck. “Fuck, harder, baby, harder!’
“You want me to go harder baby?” Hyunjae coos, sliding one of his hands down to your clit. “Want your brother’s best friend to fuck you until you can’t breathe? Until you’re begging me to stop?”
“Yes,” you cry out, “please please please, Hyunjae!” He groans, loud and raspy in your ear and you can feel your abdomen starting to tighten okay. “Oh god, I’m so close baby please! So close, so close!”
“I know baby,” he grunts, “fuck, you’re so fucking tight around me, doll.”
His fingers are rubbing harsh circles around your sensitive clit, the callouses of his hands providing that delicious friction to drive you straight over the edge screaming his name and squeezing tightly around his cock like a vice until he can only grind his hips into you, and then he’s groaning and warm ropes of cum are filling you and spilling out around his cock.
It takes the two of you a few minutes to recover before he’s pulling tissues and wipes out of his glove compartment and gently wiping away any traces of his release. When he gets to your face, he can only smile at the dazed look in your eyes.
“So, I take it I’m telling your brother?”
“You can bet your ass you are.” He hums and places a featherlight kiss to your lips.
“You called me Hyunjae for the first time.” You hum.
“Don’t get used to it, Lee Jaehyun. It was heat of the moment.” He laughs, tugging his boxers and jeans back onto his body before helping you with your bra and underwear.
“I meant it, you know.” He says when he’s got you situated in the front seat of the car. You look at him with tired eyes, enjoying the heat that comes with his car being on. Your seat is reclined so you can rest on your way home, and one of your hands is wrapped in Hyunjae’s. “When I told you that I never hated you. And if you’d let me, I want to take you out on a date after finals.”
The thought brings a gentle smile onto your face.
“Only if Sangyeon doesn’t kill you first.”
~
It’s two days later when you force Hyunjae to tell him. The marks on your neck, and the scratches on Hyunjae’s haven’t faded in the slightest, and you know Sangyeon has been asking his best friend about them.
You’d been sitting on your bed with your boyfriend when Sangyeon burst into the room, yelling at you about the dishes and stopping when he saw the two of you curled up on your comforter. You could see his mind trying to click everything into place, followed by your brother taking a few steps forward and Hyunjae sliding off your bed to get to your open window.
“LEE JAEHYUN YOU’RE SO FUCKING DEAD!” Your brother screams out the open window while Hyunjae makes a run for his house, one hand thrown into the air.
“WORTH IT!” You hear him yell, and you can’t muffle the laugh you let out before your brother turns on you with nothing but rage in those brown eyes of his.
“Lee Y/N,” he hisses.
“In my defense, it was all him.” You back away from your brother, shuffling to the edge of your room.
“You’re dating my best friend?”
“Maybe? Depends on how you react to either answer.”
“Oh, I’m gonna fucking kill you both.”
“Only if you can catch us!” You bolt out of your room, screaming when you hear him pounding after you.
Maybe telling your brother wasn’t the best idea. But, then again, it was all worth it in the end. Dying young wouldn’t be so bad, at least in your eyes.
#itsbeeble#itsbeeble masterlist#kpop#kpop imagines#the boyz#the boyz imagines#hyunjae imagines#lee hyunjae#hyunjae x reader#tbz#tbz imagines#kpop smut#the boyz smut#tbz smut
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PARTY O’CLOCK
PAIRING choi chanhee x f!reader
WORD COUNT 5.39k
GENRES fluff ﹒smut
WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, tau beta zeta frat treasurer!chanhee, reader is a stereotypical party girl, she’s also an astronomy major, mentions of alcohol, i’m pretty sure everyone makes a cameo at some point, kevin moon playing matchmaker, we escalate a little fast so, intense making out, marking, vaginal fingering, brat tamer!chanhee, dom!chanhee, lowkey pussy job for like 1 second, nipple play? kinda?, unprotected sex, wall sex, missionary, multiple orgasms, creampie (yk… the usual), overstimulation
SUMMARY in spite of being a frat boy himself, chanhee could never actually see himself enjoying the luxuries of the title. besides, how could he with all the responsibilities of being treasurer? enter you and your carefree spirit and chanhee’s got a real big problem on his hands.
MORE … don’t yell at me PLEASE. i know this is 2 days overdue. I KNOW I KNOW. i’ve been so busy these past couple days and my time management is ass we already know this. BUT IM HERE AND SHES FINISHED AND ITS CHRISTMAS EVE SO??? 🙏🙏😍 anyways. i hope u guys enjoy i had a fun time writing this. i’m a firm believer in dom chanhee 😋 if u liked this pls don’t forget to reblog!
SERIES MASTERLIST
PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs @itsbeeble @zzoguri @deoboyznet @cloverdaisies @vernyangel @ericlvr
TAGLIST @millksea
“Who’s that?”
The question comes out before you can even stop it, eyes focused on a guy sitting on one of the couches in the living room, complete disinterest all over his face. He’s pretty. Prettier than any guy you’ve ever seen. But he also looks like he’d rather be anywhere else than at this party.
“Who?” Your friend Heejin asks, following your gaze.
She finds out pretty quickly, especially because of how intense your stare is. She racks her brain for his name, sure it’s somewhere in her catalog of the student body. Heejin was the kind of person who knew everyone even if she didn’t exactly know them personally. She was both sociable and obsessed with gossip, sticking her nose in the business of those around her.
“Ah! That’s Choi Chanhee,” she nods, index finger tapping her chin. “He’s the Tau Beta Zeta treasurer actually. That’s probably why he looks like he wants to kill himself. Dude doesn’t really want to be here, but fraternity brothers are required to attend every party.”
She’s right, it appears, when you see some of the members you do recognize make their way over to bother him. He definitely does not look like the fraternity type, but you guess it also makes sense in a way. Maybe he needed an extracurricular or something that would be nice on his resume.
It’s hard for you to enjoy yourself for the rest of the night, too concentrated on the treasurer who’s lips stay pressed into a frown the entire time. You try to take shots with Heejin, but your eyes gravitate back to the sofa. Ji Changmin and his girlfriend even convinced the two of you to play them in beer pong. (Worst mistake you’ve ever made. You sucked at beer pong.) You finally draw the line at a game of Rage Cage, when you strategically get placed between Lee Juyeon and Heejin, arguably the best drinkers at the function.
Everyone laughs at you when you take a step back and recall your decision to join. And just as you suspected, you end up back in the living room, right where you wanted. Chanhee hasn’t moved from his spot, occasionally taking sips of whatever he’s drinking and scrolling through his phone.
You remember when that was Jacob Bae’s thing to do, and then he went and got himself a girlfriend. Perhaps that’s what Chanhee needed to do. A girlfriend was a little bit of a stretch, but someone to help him loosen up at these things was plausible. Girls weren’t even trying to hit on him left and right like they usually did with the Tau Beta Zeta boys, which was even more surprising considering most of them had their own partners now. Desperation was an ugly look on the university female, you know.
Which is exactly why you don’t make any moves that night.
Initially, you think you’ll wait a week. You happen to see him on campus a few times. The first time is in the library studying with some headphones on, in his element. The second time is in the cafe on campus, again, doing coursework with the intention of being left alone. Then it’s when you’re leaving your Fundamentals of Astronomy lecture, walking to one of his own classes. In your head, you’re being tested, like a dog with a bone being dangled in front of its face. It’s tortuous, wanting to go up to him and introduce yourself, but you don’t do it.
Heejin “drags” you to another TBZ party the following Friday and you put extra effort into your outfit. You walk in with the hopes to sweep him off of his feet, strutting into the fraternity house with a confidence that throws you off. Just when you’re getting ready to walk up to him, Kim Sunwoo intercepts and you backtrack. That ruins any of the lingering self-assurance in your system. So you push things back another week.
The next time you plan on striking, you and Heejin had said you’d meet at the party since she had something to do prior. You arrive at around 11 PM, prepared to shoot your shot and score. The kitchen is the first place you go, concocting yourself a drink that doesn’t get you trashed, but provides enough liquid courage. Then Heejin texts that her project partners wanted to grab food and she wasn’t going to make it. The thought of being alone without moral support effectively kills your mood, so you only stay for another hour or so before leaving.
It’s annoying, really. Every single time you attempt to set your plan into motion, something has to interrupt and mess things up for you.
This is your dilemma for roughly every weekend for a whole month. By the time you know it, it’s midterm season and you’re too stressed out over exams to think about Choi Chanhee. Divine intervention was a crazy concept, so maybe it was a blessing in disguise. Maybe this was your sign to just call it quits and give up on your weird fantasy of being the girl who charmed him.
“Do you wanna go to the TBZ party Saturday? We can celebrate finishing these stupid fucking exams and just relax for another couple months before we have to worry about finals.” Heejin asks through a mouthful of instant ramyeon. You sigh.
“Sure, whatever.” Your lips purse, pushing around your own food. She raises an eyebrow, tilting her head to the side in confusion.
“What the hell happened to you? You were jumping for joy when it came to going to them all semester, but now that I want to get shitfaced, you don’t seem all that excited.” She puts her chopsticks down, narrowing her eyes at you from across the table. You shrug.
“I don’t know,” you rest your cheek on your palm, huffing. “I guess I’m not really in the party mood anymore.”
“Bullshit,” she scoffs. “You’re the girl everyone thinks of when they talk about the typical university party girl. There must be a reason you’re suddenly Miss Debbie Downer.”
You could just tell her the truth, tell her about your delusions and the need to be different. As your roommate and best friend, she wasn’t at liberty to judge you. But this was so unlike you, so you knew she would anyway. It was out of character for you to be this enthralled by a man, let alone a stranger you’ve never spoken a word to. In fact it’s even thrown you for a loop, this mental break giving you clarity about your recent actions.
“That time I asked you who Choi Chanhee was,” you start after some silence. “I thought about going up to him and finding out why he’s so uptight. I sorta wanted to be in a ‘not like other girls’ situation. But whenever I wanted to swoop in, something always interfered. And now I’m just over it.”
“Y/N. You cannot be serious,” Heejin gawks at you like you’ve grown a second head. “Chanhee’s very picky about the girls he talks to. I could probably name on a hand the ones who’ve successfully snuck their way into his pants. He has specific taste, too; pretty ones who know when to shut their mouths.”
Your jaw drops, because what the fuck? He’s not a raging virgin with that personality? No wonder there wasn’t a line of single ladies attempting to land in his bed. They all knew they didn’t stand a chance. It kind of encourages you to resume your mission. You were never one to back down from a challenge.
“In that case…” A mischievous glint sparkles in your eye.
“Good god,” she rolls her own. “I’m warning you now, I highly doubt this will end in your favor.”
“You know me, Heejin. I never take no for an answer.”
It’s the day before the party and you’re walking out of your last midterm exam, a new light in your eyes now that you’re somewhat free. You step into the quad with your arms stretched above your head, a yawn pushing through your lips. You were long overdue for a good nap.
“Y/N!”
You whip around to find Kevin Moon from your Music Appreciation class stalking towards you. Part of you wants to pretend you’d never heard him and keep walking, drained of energy after that Intro to Astrophysics exam you’d just taken. Your brain felt like mush at this point. But you were kind, and you would’ve just felt bad about ignoring him anyways.
Kevin catches up to you rather quickly, hands hidden inside of his hoodie pockets. He lets out a sigh, both of you watching the puff of air that forms in front of him. “You’re going to the party tomorrow right?”
“I am…” You furrow your eyebrows, narrowing your eyes skeptically just a bit. “Why?”
“I have a huge favor to ask you.” He clasps his hands together, as if he wasn’t above begging on his hands and knees. You’re confused even further, because what could Kevin Moon possibly want from you?
“Okay… What is it?” The suspicion in your tone is so strong, that there’s no doubt he hasn’t noticed it by now. He holds the heel of his palm to his forehead.
“So, I was supposed to go with my friend Chanhee to try out that new outer space themed coffee place just outside of campus later today, but I got put on alcohol duty and I won’t be able to. I know you’re an Astronomy major so I figured that was something you’d like. Do you think you could go in my place?” He bats his eyelashes at you, like doing puppy dog eyes will convince you. You stare at him blankly. He wants you to do what?!
Meeting Choi Chanhee before the party tomorrow was not in your itinerary. Usually you were decent at adapting to changes in your plans, but this? This was more than just something minor that you could acclimate to. You had to psych yourself for hours in order to execute something of this caliber. Was Kevin Moon trying to send you into cardiac arrest?
“W-Wh— I mean— well—” You fumble over your words— something you never do— and Kevin breaks into a wide grin. You’re not sure if the blush across your face is from the cold weather nipping at it, or the thought of being put between a rock and a hard place.
“Perfect! I owe you one! Meet him in like an hour.” He pats your back like you’re one of the homies, not giving you any room for refutation. You actually feel like throwing up. How were you supposed to just show up without qualms?
Did he really expect you to just do this out of the goodness of your heart? No complaints stacked up to be hurled in his direction? You’d known Kevin Moon since freshman year orientation, but you didn’t think you were close enough for him to throw his dirty work at you. You can’t help but stand there dumbly as he walks away, a pep in his step that nearly has tick marks forming on your temple.
Okay, you know what? This is fine. This was totally fine. All you had to do was sip on some coffee, make some small talk, and then you could be on your way. It wasn’t that hard… was it?
You could throw on an act, pretend like you were one of those pretty girls who knew when to shut their mouths just like Heejin said he was into. You could give him a false glimpse into who you were and he wouldn’t know what you were really thinking of doing. The you of tomorrow would be a complete 180° turn around from the you of today, and Choi Chanhee would be the one groveling at your feet.
As soon as you walk into the cafe, your throat feels narrow, like it was closing in on you. You’re not sure why you’re so nervous. It’s not like Chanhee knew you. He couldn’t possibly be aware of your existence, much less of your little fascination with him.
You see him sitting at a table for two, the straw of his drink trapped between his lips. He sips leisurely as he scrolls through his phone, likely waiting on Kevin since you’re sure he left his friend in the dark. You pick at a thread on your sweater as you stop in front of him, raising your hand in an awkward wave. Chanhee glances up, confusion in his features at first and then it morphs into something else.
A laugh has to be held back when he chokes on his drink, slapping a hand over his mouth. He stands up quickly, wiping his palms on his pants.
“Hi,” your voice is small, so far off from your usual boldness. “I’m Y/N. Kevin sent me.”
“Fucking Kevin,” he curses underneath his breath, forcing a smile. “Um, please sit.”
You take the seat across from him, eyes flickering around the coffee shop to absorb your surroundings. It’s pretty, the stars and planets painted all over the walls and ceilings. Even the drinks had celestial themed names. Your friend was right, you would love it here. It was right up your alley.
“I— uh— Kevin had texted me and told me what to order for him, but I’m assuming he meant for you, because he never told me you were uh— that you were coming.” He scratches the back of his neck as a server leaves a drink in front of you.
“He stopped me in the quad after my midterm and asked if I could fill in for him. Something came up apparently.” You explain, humming in appreciation when you taste your coffee. “He remembered that I was an Astronomy major and figured I was his best bet I guess.”
Chanhee purses his lips, it’s almost like he knows something you don’t. He nods slowly. “Yeah… I’m sure that’s why…”
The impromptu formal introduction between you goes on without a hitch. It goes so well, that the time flies faster than you’d hoped it would. You get a tiny peek into Choi Chanhee and his life as the TBZ fraternity treasurer, but it’s not enough to satiate that unbearable curiosity that pricks at you.
Thankfully, you have tomorrow to do exactly that.
Heejin and yourself arrive at the Tau Beta Zeta party that Saturday with a goal in mind; Getting Choi Chanhee into bed with you.
Okay. Maybe that wasn’t actually the main objective, but it was definitely a side quest. What you really wanted to do was get him to let his guard down. Like your friend said previously, you were the stereotypical party girl. Had there been a picture beside the term in a dictionary, your pretty little face would be there, a red solo cup in your hand and all. If he wound up being entranced by your womanly witchery, that was on him.
Just like your first go at wooing him, you decided to pull out all the stops. You’d worn your shortest, tightest fitting dress despite the weather not necessarily permitting it. It was a cute black strapless number that you paired with some long heeled boots and a warm fuzzy jacket. You looked hotter than the sun itself, and deep down you’d feel extremely disappointed if he wasn’t falling to his knees for you by the end of the night.
A sense of déjà vu washes over you the moment you step through the front door into the jam packed fraternity house. The bumping early 2000s music and the thrumming of the bass gave you an adrenaline rush like no other. Nothing could waver your confidence this roundabout. He wouldn’t even know what hit him.
Before you sink your claws into the treasurer, you need to grab yourself a drink. You and Heejin take a shot from one of the various liquor bottles on the counter, serving yourselves each a cup of whatever Jacob Bae threw together for the party. It was kind of funny that the resident bartender for these things wasn’t even a member of the frat. You and your friend cheers to the night ahead of you, manifesting that things go your way.
It’s rather easy to catch his eye even in the bustling crowd of drunk college students, glued in his usual spot on one of the living room sofas. His dark hair falls into his eyes when he glances down at his phone to check the time, almost as if he was counting down the hours, the minutes until this party was over. He brushes it out of his face with his index finger at the same time he raises his cup to his mouth, knocking back the contents with a slight wince.
He espies your presence immediately after that, raking your figure with an unrecognizable look in his gaze. Though you were shivering upon entering the house, your skin felt hot to the touch now, the burning intensity of his stare melting away any nerves that might’ve been lingering. You pull your jacket off of your shoulders, tossing it over your forearm as you snake through the bodies sardined between the two of you.
“Hi,” you greet once you’re in front of him. “I’m Y/N.”
His lips quirk upwards and he stands so you’re no longer peering down at him. In spite of meeting each other yesterday, he decides to play along. “I’m Chanhee.”
“Well, Chanhee,” you bite your acrylic nail, not bothering to hide the unabashed desire in your expression and drinking in his appearance like a glass of water. “I couldn’t help but notice you from across the room. You looked bored and I was wondering if I could change that. I know how to have a good time.”
Chanhee thinks it’s cute, the amount of effort you’re putting into this little charade. He doesn’t doubt that you knew of his reputation when it came to sleeping with girls. He knows he’s a bit conscientious when it comes to this sort of thing, but that’s only because he doesn’t want to deal with being seen as someone who’s ran-through. (For an example, please see (No) Strings Attached™.)
However, you were different. Chanhee thought you were cute from the very first time he saw you, which happened to be at a Tau Beta Zeta party last semester. He knew you were friends with Kevin, so maybe it was on him for the delay of your union, but he’d grown a little tired of always making the first move. He’s somewhat grateful that you were the type of girl who set her sights on something and never backed down from it. You were headstrong and that was exactly what had him hooked.
Nevertheless, it would be a bit of an issue. The only part of the rumors surrounding the treasurer that was true, was the part about him preferring his partners to be on the quieter side. There was something about them following his every demand, kneeling at his beck and call, that lit a fire underneath him. The mouthier they were, the less he enjoyed himself. But for some reason, he doesn’t think it’ll bother him as much with you. In fact, he thinks he’ll have fun putting you in your place.
“You know, Y/N,” he pushes your hair over your bare shoulder, letting his thumb graze your warm skin with a small but conniving grin. “I’m not too sure you’ll be able to cure this boredom that’s been plaguing me. It depends on what you have in mind.”
You might cry. A strained groan stays stuck in your throat, fighting to inch its way out of you. Fuck this stupid party. Fuck your stupid idea. You had a new mission. You needed him now and you needed him bad.
Your lips are on his in a matter of seconds, rushed and desperate. You don’t have the strength in you to act like you weren’t just about ready to combust. The curve of a smile can be felt through the kiss, his hands coming to rest on your waist and dig into the fabric of your dress. Had this been any other guy, any other day even, you would’ve freaked out over the PDA. Right now, though, you’re too lost in the moment, too absorbed in the high that kissing Choi Chanhee is providing.
His mouth travels along your jaw and neck, finally snapping you back to reality. With shaky breathing and a wavering voice, you step back from him. “Don’t you want— don’t we need some privacy?”
He laughs like he’s on the inside of a joke you’re unaware of. “Oh, so now you care about privacy? You didn’t when you were trying to seduce me ten minutes ago.”
Your cheeks flush impossibly more, cowering into the space where his shoulder meets his collarbone. All that confidence and for what? He really could not wait another second to see you crumble beneath him.
“Too shy for me to fuck you in front of all these people, sweetheart?” He asks in your ear, leaving a gentle kiss on the lobe as he does so.
You’re dizzy, so dizzy you might faint in the middle of this living room. Who would’ve known that such a pretty boy had such a filthy mouth on him? He knows he’s got you right where he wants you when you fist the material of his shirt, the vibrations of a whine on his neck. It’s kind of comical how little it took for you to crack.
He hauls you away to what you assume is his bedroom, fingers caressing the inside of your wrist. You think maybe he’s all talk, that he’s actually a big softie who couldn’t hurt a fly. The way he’s careful with his touch and making sure he doesn’t lose you as you weave through the other party attendees. At least, that’s what you thought.
But then he’s slamming his door shut and pinning you against it face first. His lips return to their prior position, sucking in the plush skin on your throat and your shoulders. You can feel him pressed into your lower back, hard and ready for you. He doesn’t seem to pay much attention to it, instead trailing his fingers down your front and sneaking under your dress.
He bunches it up around your hips, middle and ring digits circling your clit through the lace of your panties. Everything is escalating too quickly for you to comprehend. You whimper into the wood of the door, drool beginning to pool in your mouth. You’re so needy that you’re salivating over the prospects of what’s to come.
“Want more, Chanhee,” your words are muffled, but he understands you nonetheless.
“You want more?” He pouts, a false tone of sympathy in his voice. “Poor you, asking for something you can’t even handle.”
You squirm, raising your leg in an attempt to reach a different angle. The pads of his fingers apply an increased pressure on your clit, the friction caused by your underwear skyrocketing your heart rate. You know he can feel the pulse when his lips reconnect to that sensitive area just under your jaw. Your back arches, still craving and yearning for additional touch.
His fingers slip into the waistband of your thong, collecting your arousal and using it as a lubricant to glide through your folds. He thrusts two of them in and out of your entrance, the heel of his palm rubbing up against your clit. You moan, louder this time. His free hand shoves the top of your dress down, groping and kneading your bare breast. You wanted more, he’ll give you more.
You’re a whining, squirrely mess, humping his hand like a bitch in heat. It’s hilarious, really. The way you wanted him begging, but the tables seemed to have turned, flipping it the other way around. He ensures that he leaves his mark on you, biting your skin with the intent to bruise. He doesn’t care if you looked like you were attacked by a vicious animal. If Chanhee was anything, he was possessive, wanting everyone to know what was his and not to get near it lest they wanted to keep their lives. What better way to stake his claim than on your body, where anyone could see?
He senses that you’re close to your release, your walls clenching around his fingers and sucking them in further. Most people would’ve been generous, making your orgasm smooth sailing. But Choi Chanhee was not like most people. That much is obvious when he adds a third finger, restraining himself from groaning at the feeling of your cunt constricting and contracting. The stretch has your stomach tying in knots, each one growing tighter and tighter until they just about untangle altogether.
You cum with a guttural groan, nearly convulsing in his hold, but he keeps you pressed to the surface of the door. He doesn’t stop his motions, fingers curling and uncurling like he was reaching for something inside of you. You push your ass into his crotch, another whine escaping your lips when you feel his cock impressing into it. He bites his tongue to refrain from evoking a sound.
The poised nature of your regular personality makes a comeback, one of your hands cupping the side of his face. You pant as you speak, rasping slightly after all the moaning you just did. “Can you fuck me for real now?”
Chanhee forces your underwear down your legs roughly, kicking them out of the way once they hit the floor. “You’re such a goddamn brat. Nothing is ever enough for you is it?” You can hear rustling behind you, the unbuttoning of pants and the discarding of his shirt. And then you feel him. God, you might die. He’s flush between your lower lips, his teeth grazing your earlobe. “Gonna have to fuck you until you learn your place, don’t I?”
He squeezes your cheeks together with his thumb and forefinger, relishing in the adorable pout it forms. All you can do is nod, eyes fluttering shut when he finally slides inside of you. The weight of him sits heavy in your cunt, the singular drive of his hips causing your clit to bump into the door. It sends a rippled shockwave throughout your body, a voluminous moan breaching past your lips. Chanhee rests his forehead on your shoulder, staying still for a moment to gather himself.
It’s not long before he’s pistoning his cock into your pussy like a sword being sheathed and unsheathed. You claw at the wall as a means of grounding yourself, inconsistently paced cries and mewls of pleasure bouncing around the room. He hikes up your leg higher, palming at your tits so he can override your senses any way he can. You’re so lightheaded and tears have begun to spring at the corners of your eyes. It feels too good.
“O-Oh my god, you’re s-so— f-fuck Chanhee,” you babble, gasping for air as he continuously punches it out of you with every inch his cock buries into you.
He’s enjoying himself too much, loving how fucked out you look. He’s reduced you to an incoherent state of being. You curve your back a bit more for him, allowing the depth at which he slips in you to go further.
Unfortunately for you, it doesn’t take much to wind you back up to that summit from previously. You’re on the brink of your second orgasm, your chest heating up and your abdomen contracting. He doesn’t let up, pinching and thumbing at a peaked nipple to egg on your release. This one feels a lot stronger than the first, your knees nearly giving out on you.
“C’mon sweetheart, that’s it,” he coaxes, stroking your hair from your face.
Chanhee fucks you through it, allotting space for you to recover before he’s knocking you onto his bed. He removes your dress entirely and rubs up and down your thighs. The exhaustion is already beginning to settle in, but you realize that he hasn’t finished not once and you’d be hitting your third at this point. You’re overstimulated and your body aches all over, but you push through.
He finds your entrance again, pressing into your cunt with more ease. You whine, smushing your cheek into the mattress. Your toes curl and you fist at the sheets, eyes all but rolling to the back of your head where you see white spots and stars coating your vision. He grips your hips to hold you still, starting to rock back into your pussy with practiced aggression. He’s carnal with his movements, but it’s careful, almost like he doesn’t really want to hurt you.
“It’s too much—“ you interrupt yourself with a wail, the tears from earlier tracking along the sides of your face.
“I’ve fucked you stupid, haven’t I? Thought I was done with you?” He strains, folding over so he can kiss the skin of your collarbone and trail up to your mouth. His lips brush yours when he talks, teasing you as if he hadn’t already fucked you within an inch of your life. “Do you think I’m having fun yet?”
Your cunt sucks him in like a vacuum, your volume rising the closer you get to what you hope is your last orgasm of the night. What you needed was the best sleep ever after this. Your brain can barely form sentences, and you struggle to give him a proper response. “Y-Yes, Cha-Chanhee— oh god— s-so much fun,”
Your breath catches in your throat when that familiar sensation reappears. Chanhee is in his own world, focused on chasing his own release. His nails dig into the fat of your thighs, thrusts becoming deeper and slower. You reach between the two of you to swipe at your clit with your middle and ring fingers, the extra stimulation tipping you over that sweet edge.
Your orgasm crests upon you with so much intensity that you can’t even make a sound. If you do, it’s so far away from you that you don’t hear it. The uncontrollable fluttering of your walls sets Chanhee’s into action, his hips stuttering with a groan that doesn’t meet your ears. He fills you up with enough cum that it begins to spill out of you in spite of his cock still plugged inside your cunt. You both take a moment to recollect your bearings, chests clashing with each rise and fall from your breathing.
After what feels like forever, he pulls out and collapses on the bed beside you, the back of his hand thrown over his forehead.
“Holy shit— I mean— wow I really— I really didn’t think you were so…” You don’t finish your thought, head still stuck on the actions you’d committed prior.
“It’s always the quiet ones.” Chanhee shrugs, sighing dramatically.
“You are not quiet,” you turn your head to give him a pointed look. “But, I’m not complaining. I got my insides rearranged six ways to Sunday. Who’s the real winner here?”
“Me, actually,” he says, his thumb caressing your cheekbone. “I’ve had the longer crush.”
“Y-You— huh?!” Your eyes practically bulge out of your head, comically wide like a deer’s caught in headlights. He laughs at your expression.
“I’ve been wanting to make a move on you since last semester,” he admits. “But I was kinda… discouraged? I guess? I feel like I’m the one who puts in too much effort all the time, with everything that I do. I wanted to see if maybe someone would do the same for me. I’m just lucky that it worked out in my favor.”
Your bottom lip juts out and you flip over to peck the tip of his nose tenderly. “Choi Chanhee, you’re extremely lucky. I almost gave up on you, like, a couple days ago.”
Chanhee’s laughter grows and he kisses you softly. “Well, I’m glad that you didn’t. Now I can take you on a real date to that space cafe. Not one that Kevin forced on us.”
“I like the sound of that.” You smile, cuddling into his side.
© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.
#deoboyznet#the boyz#the boyz x reader#the boyz smut#tbz#tbz x reader#tbz smut#the boyz chanhee#the boyz new#tbz chanhee#tbz new#new x reader#choi chanhee x reader#choi chanhee smut#juyeonszn#blackoutorbackout🍻
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hiii!!! i loved part 6 so much!! i'm so happy with the angst cos i love angst lmao.
in the meantime, since your series has become my favorite 😭😭😭... while waiting for your next update, could you maybe (please) recommend me some jeonghan x y/n or oc fics that you loved? maybe angsty ones too if you know of any!
thank you so much, i love your work and i'll be patiently waiting for the next update <333
- 💟
Hi!! I'm so glad that you enjoyed part 6! Especially that you were happy with the angst haha, whenever I read angst I have to skim-read until I get to the resolution and then I can go back and read the finer details cause I get impatient 🫠
I'm so sorry I took so long to get to this by the way! I was like I need to set some serious time aside to rec these fics and then I just kept putting it off and then I just sat down to do this and remembered that I had recced Lovin’ Me by @/itsbeeble (an amazing angsty Jeonghan series btw in case you haven't read it yet- I'll rec this until I die) before and realized I've recced some recently so I'm just a dumb mess lol
I recced some Jeonghan stories at this post here in case you haven't seen that yet I also have this post here that I'm posting like at the same time as this but those are mostly fluffy this is not..?
A short Jeonghan enemy smut by @constantlyoncoupsbrainrot
Some general stories I just love are:
Push it down (sooner or later it all comes out) by @dontflailmenow a Seungcheol camboy series which is ridiculously good (Also I have read I think Jen's whole masterlist now...? Every story she writes is good I highly suggest it)
Also Sapiosexual by @smileysuh is.... I read it recently because I'm trying to read more stuff here and it was such a good read. It's about sugar daddy!Cheol and I feel like that's all that has to be said? so good
#I'm so sorry I am so long-winded lol#I swear this summer I’m going to read so many seventeen fics and I will have so much to rec 🙇♀️🙇♀️#b: 💟 anon#Jeonghan is literally killing me these days#also seungcheol too but lets be blind to that until august 😶
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deep | tbz kim sunwoo
» PAIRING: tbz kim sunwoo x fem!reader
» TROPE/AU: enemies with benefits 2 lovers, non-idol au
» GENRE: smut 18+ (mdni!!) 🔞 fluff because there are a couple of 'i love you's being thrown in hehe, momentary angst
» WORD COUNT: 7899
» ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~29 mins
» WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): dom!sunwoo, sub!reader, cum play, rough sex, hate sex, mentions of public sex, spit (?) play, reader begs to sunwoo a few times, usage of slut (reader receiving), pet names (princess, baby girl, baby boy), unprotected sex, creampie, cockwarming, anal sex (reader receiving), oral sex (both receiving), edging (reader receiving), orgasm denial (reader receiving, not in detail), hair pulling (reader has long, straight hair in braids), rapid proofread once
navi/masterlist!! 🤍
uhhh...yeah...
anyway! we ball!!
hi @itsbeeble !! it's ⭐ anon! thank you for reading this all and giving me advice on my writing 🥺 are you surprised it's me...? I'M SORRY FOR NOT JUST ASKING YOU UPFRONT I'M SHY 😭
The neck sits comfortably between the curves that join your pointer and middle finger. Your wrists circle the sweet red, coating the walls in the alcohol for a brief moment. Your other arm encircles around the neck of your ‘date’ as you offer your exposed cleavage as a place for his head to rest.
“You smell good today.” Younghoon compliments you, his hand growing nearer and nearer to your clothed mound. He smiles into your chest with satisfaction with how your manicure scratches his head, letting a small exhale to your neck. “God, I want to ruin you.”
But the smirk you gave him is all for show.
You’re bored in this booming party.
Even though you’re literally sitting on one of the hottest guys in the year group with his growing bulge only getting more evident each time you shift against him purposefully, your eyes are well focused on the other black hair across the room.
Kim Sunwoo looks back at you, jaw tense with gritted teeth. You see how he lets out a scoff when you press a delicate kiss to Younghoon’s forehead, eyes still locked with his. All of a sudden, the girl that is littering kisses on his neck makes his growing erection soft. Anger, confusion and envy (though he would never admit it to your pretty face) swarm and mix evidently in his face.
God, he hates you so much.
From your soft straight long hair to the push-up bra that you’re wearing that makes your chest all the more appetising to him. From your sharp jawline that he has marked many times in the locker room, the sports equipment room and the empty classroom after school hours. From your short skirts and no safety pants that you wear at parties like this one, hiking up to show the new panties that he has never undressed you from.
But you guess, with the many times that you have let Sunwoo in your pants, he has probably fucked you enough times to know your wardrobe at this point.
Sunwoo’s eyebrows furrow with the way you spread your legs further, publicly letting Younghoon’s hand hide there, his thumb now trapped between your slit that slowly becomes wetter. It makes Sunwoo furious that even though Younghoon is probably moaning like a disgusting starved man, you still dared to throw him that look: swiping the tip of your tongue on your upper lip, accommodating the move with a slow wink.
It riles him up and he groans at how fuckable you look with your two braids that he has pulled on before as he took you on all fours that one time in his car.
Though his throat lets out a dismissive hum at the girl giving him the same look as you across the room, his eyes are still on your black dainty spaghetti straps, the muscles of his fingers curling slightly at the sight of your exposed shoulder.
“Look at me.” She drags the final syllable, pulling Sunwoo’s attention back to her by the hem of his collar. “I want you.” a harsher tug. “So bad.”
Hearing the words from a different girl than you did him wonders and he hates that the lips pressed against his aren’t yours. Though Sunwoo is known to work his wonders on many different women, you were the first one that made his body crave more. You’re the first one who rode him in all different types of positions while the others prefer to be laid and fucked with him doing all the work—but if it's you, he would gladly do everything for you. Whenever his length meets the pressure of your walls, he embarrassingly could’ve tapped out then but his ego allows him to keep going, making sure that you have some relief first.
He’s always prioritised you.
So why were you being such a brat, with that googly eyes but sharp stare on him while you act like a slut on someone else’s dick? Why did you slip your hands between the space of his two school blouse buttons, plunging your nails and marking his skin as if he's the only one for you? Why did you always kiss him so passionately whenever he pulled you by the waist even though he’s being a gentleman and making sure that you don’t get trampled by the other students in the filled hallway?
He hates that you’re the only one his body, heart and mind want.
All the rushing thoughts only deepen his lust for you especially when he sees your head now tilted up, mouth gaped open and eyes almost fully rolling back when you straddle Younghoon’s hips.
Unfortunately for the other needy girl, Sunwoo puts too much force when he takes her off his body and makes a determined beeline towards your flexed shoulder blades as you continue to do your magic on Younghoon. Letting his body take control, his hands roughly pull on your shoulder, successfully getting you on your feet. Your back hits his chest and you know with just the way he tilts your chin sideways that you won the game of cat and dog.
“Looks like we have some things to figure out.” The leftover vodka hits your nose delightfully and the slight growl he gives out when you just bat your eye makes you melt a little bit.
Sunwoo grips your waist, turning you around and kicking the back of your shoe as a non-verbal order to start walking and leave the flabbergasted boy behind; Younghoon doesn’t deserve you but he definitely deserves to know how it feels like to be left high and dry by you.
“Lost your cool?”
The provocation makes Sunwoo click his tongue against the back of his teeth, slamming your back on a nearby door. His hand slaps the wood, close to your ear. He couldn’t help but grin when you blink at the slapping sound.
“You’ve been insufferable for the last month.” The side of his pointer finger trails the jawline he misses most. “What’s your game, Princess?” stopping at your chin, “How many counts did you manage to increase since we last fucked?” directly to your cleavage, “How much makeup did you use to cover the evidence, hm?”
His face dives closer to yours, his breath tickling your plumper lips, ready to have the first clash and contact with him in months. Sunwoo initiates the kiss, slotting and hissing when he tastes the aged grape on your tongue. Your mewls are the reason why the wall behind you breaks, the creaking of the door opening and closing as soon as possible, Sunwoo skillfully flicks the lights on as he keeps the breathless kiss with the support of his hand.
“This fucking dress.” He curses due to how tight it is—bodycon and hot on you but too tight for him to reach anything intimate on your body. “Younghoon, huh?” He remarks when the back of your knees hit the edge of the owned mattress.
Sunwoo still devours your lips, strings of saliva hanging in the air. “Hungry?” You croaked out between the small gap of air. “Or horny?”
“Shut the fuck up.” With a push of his fingers, you’re laid down and the distance allows you to droll over the boy who’s knees dug onto the mattress next to your waist. “That mouth of yours.” He handles your cheeks roughly, shaking your head from side to side, a dark gaze filling him. “The only things that you can say are my name,” he spits inside the hole he made, “scream, shout, moan and mewl.” He releases you, eyes menacingly telling you to swallow, “Make sure the house knows who’s breaking you inside out.”
It’s like a dream for him to finally have you under him again. The weight of his hips traps yours below, rubbing his bulge skillfully on your growing needy clothed pussy. The position couldn’t even make your knees raise to rest your ankle on the softer surface and it’s when you realise that Sunwoo would not go easy on you tonight.
He’s planning to break you and he most probably will.
“Put your slutty legs down.” Open-mouth kisses land on the left side of your neck and they leave you gasping at how Sunwoo stretches your skin between his teeth but also by just leaving his teeth marks on your skin. “That’s it.” He encourages you, swiping the abused area before going to another one, sucking and making sure purple and pink paint your pale skin.
It’s satisfying knowledge for your dripping cunt to know that Sunwoo is still just like how you remember him. His hands fly to your straps, snapping the thin fabric and ignoring your exclamations of curse words. Your dress and bra are rolled down to the bottom of your boobs, Sunwoo once again salivating at the delicious sight. His head plays the scenes from before where Younghoon found himself comfortable at the same chest that he now claims as his and he snarls, the memory motivating him to take one of your nipples into his mouth.
“Fuck!” The pain surges when his fingers pinch your sensitive left, pulling it up, letting it go and repeating while the other is nibbled, sucked and twirled around its circumference with his wet muscle. “Shit! Why are you so fucking rou—” The free hand flies to cup your mouth, muffling your moans and wails as you feel the tears forming around the corners of your eyes.
“I don’t recall letting you complain.” Consistent with the bright blemishes on your neck, Sunwoo places similar ones around both of your boobs; underside, very close to your areolas and the valley that Younghoon’s nose was in. “Take it or I’ll leave you here and I’ll make sure you’ll be crying and begging me to let you cum.”
Sunwoo leaves your body for a while and though spent, your eyes quickly take in the best person who knows your body. Some of his front bangs are stuck to his forehead, hair overall messy. The cross on his chain makes you smile, knowing that God should look away at the sins that he will soon commit to your body. Before you can observe his shirt, he discards it and throws it carelessly in the room leaving you to observe the perfect lines of his abs.
“A warning for you,” he kneels before your soaking south. You thought that Sunwoo is amazingly hot but when he hooks his hands under your thighs and pulls you down the bed, you really could have cummed there. Sunwoo rests your thighs on his shoulder, his nose swooping into the collected scent of your arousal, his eyes rolling back with a loud moan, “if you cum without permission,” He literally drinks your arousal, sucking the soaked fabric, slurping any of your precum and filling his throat in the appetiser.
“No—Sunwo—Fuck!!” Your ripped panties are now stuffed in your mouth, an effective way of getting you to quiet down for the next sex activity. Your hands are no longer free, trapped wrists held together with just one hand.
“Forget it,” he chuckles, nose brushing on your slit, “less talk.” His tongue rapidly flicks against your clit, two fingers inside your gummy walls immediately. “More screaming.”
You did scream and your upper body thrashed around the bed, twisting and slowly unravelling by the touch of Sunwoo’s hand. For a second, your restrained hands on your stomach caught his hair but Sunwoo literally weakens you by pushing your abdomen down, your fingers twitching harshly.
“Fuck, Princess.” He devours every drop, slurping the ones that escaped down your hole and ones that trickled down his arm. He blows on your clit, making you squirm in his hold. “You're so wet.”
How could you not be? With his perfect fingers just slipping through, stretching you out while also hitting the spot that no one else has ever reached. The squelching of your pussy with his actions is the reason why your body burns and thighs start to shake and your hips roll against his face more.
Sunwoo smiles against your flesh, continuing to race your high. “Don't you hate it that I'm the only one who fucking knows,” and he goes fast; insanely fast. “how to make you feel good?”
“Hmph!” The only response, stopping your head from giving the satisfying nod that he wants.
Frustrated at your actions, the cloth is taken out roughly, burning the sides of your mouth at the yank.
“Answer me properly.” His fingers hook down on your body, wiggling and stimulating you more. “Beg.” Hypnotising you by biting the skin of your stomach.
You gasp for air, your hairline deep in the pillow, “Sunwoo.” You had to give an indication, “Please!”
It's a puny request but he'll settle with it for now. “Do it.” He taunts, “cum all over me.”
The rope inside of you breaks, liquid arousal spilling uncontrollably on the sheets and it was so strong that it even reached his chest.
For a second Sunwoo feels bad for whoever the owner of the bed is but then jealousy takes over him again because when you squirt, your goodness will leave the owner curious and he generalises the fact that they would take a sniff of his hard work. But hey, bless them because you do taste amazing.
That’s as close as anyone could ever get to you though.
His mouth covers your hole, determined to gatekeep you from anyone. Trembling lower body, Sunwoo takes the vibration to his advantage, strategically alternating between little prods, kitten licks and longer slurps on your pink clit, the overstimulation making you close your legs and trap him in your scent.
“Fuck! Give me a break!” A second wave comes over you and you let your volume double with the fast second release.
“You did it to yourself.” Sunwoo drinks all the evidence he can, the taste more addicting and melting than scorching forty-percent from downstairs. “Don't get all tired and hate me now.” Fabric rustles against skin and your hooded eyes catch sight of Sunwoo climbing to the bed once more.
“What about you then?” Trying to distract his lust to catch your breath, “How many girls have you downed?”
“Jealous that they weren't you?” It's sickening how caring he became while asking that. It's even more crushing when the back of Sunwoo’s hand caresses your red skin from his actions before. “You need to be thoughtful to other people.”
“Yeah well,” you exhale, focusing on the cooling effect the sweat had on your chest, “you ruined my dress and I'm walking home without pants.”
The comment snaps him back to the sex in the air. Your eyes widen when he gives you a soul-crushing kiss, biting on your bottom lip successfully easing you back into the atmosphere. Your hands fly to his shoulders, pulling him deeper and you taste yourself in his mouth.
“Oh, you're not going home tonight.” Instantly Sunwoo makes you sit up and he cradles you in his hands as he sits comfortably to the edge of the bed. “Make me cum.” He adjusts your position for your recovering body, folded knees straddling him.
You see this green light pass his eyes for a second and knowing Sunwoo, beneath that fuckboy image he has, he has trouble containing his feelings whenever another male touches you. You see it in the way his eye twitches and the public display of kissing; you learnt that all from him whether he notices or not.
Deciding to somewhat thank him for the lessons that got you laid when you wanted, your hips move slowly, dragging forwards and your ass jiggles when it relaxes backwards.
“I'm not even yours.” It takes everything in Sunwoo not to kiss your pretty lips and stop your words, “yet you fuck me like I am.”
Why didn't he remove his boxers? He had no strength to do it now, a hand holding the back of your neck while the other guides and supports your thrusts, picking the pace up himself.
“When the fuck did you become so good at riding?” Who the fuck did you practice on to be this good? The tip just prodding on your entrance, almost engulfed at the thrust in before popping out when you back away.
That's usually how you break Kim Sunwoo. Pulling away after giving him a taste of you. Oh how you enjoyed the way he grips your waist, his hand engraved on you.
The building up for him continues intensely when you return the marks that cover your neck on his. He whispers to the shell of your ear with each sucking and cursing, fueling your body to thrust against him harder.
The way your hands brush his pectoral and your thumb swipes on his nipples only makes his clothed cock rub against yours faster. The speed increase makes your eyes shut, focusing on the rubbing feeling whilst pushing through to mark his clean skin, burying your head snugly into the crook of his salty neck.
You know within the second that Sunwoo hisses and bites on your ear that the wetness below is mostly due to him, especially with how the veins of his neck become apparent as he breathes through his nose.
“My turn to have fun.”
It sends Sunwoo’s brain into a frenzy when you kneel before him, both his hands supporting the bed. Through his eyelashes, he lets you pull the last clothing to the ground, covering your small fist on the base of his growing cock.
Your lips pucker, covering the tip of his cock, swirling your tongue around the head. Here and there, your tongue swipes down on the centre line, collecting the precum on your tongue.
“Don't tease, slut.” He warns you and you just shrug nonchalantly, whipping your braids out of your way. “I'll wreck your mouth.”
“Try me, loser.”
Because you quickly took control. Your cheeks hollow and within seconds, the head that you took care of is at the back of your throat, reflexively gagging you—so maybe you forgot how big Sunwoo is because it makes you riled up that you can't take his dick just like all the other guys you fucked.
A deep chuckle resonates, two hands around your neck. “Looks like someone is having trouble.” The feeling stretches when Sunwoo pushes you in further, your lips now meeting the base of his cock.
He hisses at the pulsing feeling of your constricting throat and the fingers digging into his inner thigh. Mercilessly, your throat is used as his cock sleeve, the way he doesn’t bother adding movement killing every bit of you. The tears finally escape your eyes and Sunwoo lets out the sweetest coos and swabs the trace of your mascara clean, kissing your scalp and pulling you away mid-way before forcing his length down your throat again.
“Scream.” He commands you, doing the same thing once more, “Let's hear who’s taking me so well.” fingers running on your shoulders to pull you deeper, “Ah, but I guess not because someone can't even suck me off properly, hey?”
Your blood boils at his smirk and the way he cracks the tension in his neck. Sunwoo raises an eyebrow, winking at you and waiting for you to move. Blowjobs have always been like this for you. You would underestimate his girth, provoke him (and yourself), bring him full to your mouth, realising it's too big and you freeze trying to adjust to his size.
His massive cock transferred from his matching ego—you hate that your body is too small for him.
It takes him by surprise when you start to let out moans, the vibration of the noise making his dick straighten and harder. His voice croaks, realising that you've found another way to make him cum other than your hands.
His breath hitches but his chest relaxes, “Show me what you got.”
He wouldn’t lie if he said his gut was wrenching in anticipation; the girl who knows his body the best is getting to know his body more. The thought makes him pull your twin braids down when you start to bop your head and suck his length. You cry at the tug, the stinging on your scalp only propelling your body to wreck Sunwoo more.
Within seconds, your saliva fully coats the veins of his girth. Sunwoo goes through the motion, the cool air hitting him before being replaced by your hot mouth.
“Look who’s taking me so well,” he takes a glance down at you, once again wiping the tears from your eyes. “Doing amazing, Princess. Just like that.”
Sunwoo’s moans intensified and so did your grip on his inner thighs. The final grunt is the sign of his cum that drenches your mouth seconds after that. The sight of you successfully taking him after all those past rounds of fucking made him feral, swooping you back into his lap for him to kiss, your arms dangling by your side.
It's strange, the way he kisses you. It's like he doesn't want to let you go. With the way, his tongue swipes over your upper lip as a way to ask for permission. How his arm wraps around your back way too carefully for you to second guess if he hates you or not.
The pads of his thumb clean you of his mess on the corners of your mouth and just beneath your nose. Sunwoo smirks when you throw your head back in relief after giving space to breathe even though his palms are wrapped around your neck—this is the Sunwoo you're used to.
The kiss elicits a hateful remark. “You taste disgusting.” Sunwoo ignores it. His thumb swipes on the corner of your lip where a little bit of him managed to slip away, collecting and pushing his thumb back past your teeth.
“Look at you swallowing without command.” He swoops right in for another taste of himself, nodding and evaluating the comment you said. “I taste amazing, thank you very much.”
“Is that what the other girls sa—”
Your breath hitches when the pad of his fingers gives multiple but definite slaps on the surface of your slit. The shaking breaths are beginning to show, and the glare that you put on is still somewhat strong.
“Oh, baby.” His hand grips on the dip of your waist, pushing you down for control. “How many times have you cummed?” Three fingers group together and slip into your needy cunt, “Why are you still so tight?”
“Shut the fuck u—”
His hand rips away from you, the stretch unsatisfyingly gone and the string tightens once more.
“You really have to find another insult to use.”
You let him do his job, throwing you face down to the bed. His hand snakes to your chin, turning it to the side before he completely lays on top of you, defined abdomen on the surface of the back. With every movement, he proceeds to make sure that his dick is near your entrance, knocking on the depths of heaven.
“Beg and you'll get it.” Rolling his hips with yours. “You think you can take control when you're literally soaking this bed.” The hair covering your face is moved to expose the sweat dripping down your neck. “You've had your fun.”
“Just fuck me.” You feel Sunwoo getting faster with his humps, your fist taking homage by taking the fabric of the sheets into your fists. “Jesus fucking Christ, Sunwoo you know you need me too.”
The fact that his length springs up shows the truth. He does in fact want you—probably more than you want him. It does his heart many ways but for now, with you all splattered underneath him, he knows he has to do more to make you cry for his body.
That's his objective at this moment: to hear you cry for him.
Sunwoo’s bang fell over his eyes and if only you knew of how much he's been wanting you, you probably wouldn't have been so taunting with your words. No words could describe the feeling of when Sunwoo pushes his body up, turning you around to your back, folding your knees and entering the smaller hole out of the two on your south.
The sudden play runs electricity through your body. Your breasts are squeezed under his palm and he uses the body part to control the intensity of his swing
Ear-piercing screams are what make Sunwoo smirk, stretching you out more. He no longer cares about your tears tainting your pale face, burying his face into the crook of your neck.
“Seems like someone has been here not too long ago.” Calculated and strong. His arm muscles flex to put your scooting body in place at the strength of his hips. “It's not as tight as I thought.”
“Oh my God.”
Miraculously answering between your sobs. Your fingernails scratch his back, shouting and whimpering moans most probably louder than the wasted party downstairs. The pain stimulates Sunwoo to grow deeper, faster against you, to fill the whole house with your melody.
“If only I could breed you through this hole.”
Can this man shut the fuck up?
“Don't you like the idea of carrying a little me?”
Gasping for air, the pleasure of him reaching untouched territory from the last month makes you wheeze, the added stimulation around your neck firing you up.
“This.” Like before, your legs rest on his shoulder. His arms press against you, buckling and trapping your knees as he continues to pant through the slams in the new angle.
“Is what happens.” Another grunt from you as you feel your ass unable to fully contain the bulge inside of you, your cervix receiving the pleasure and making you closer and closer to blacking out.
“When you don't beg enough.” He mixes his cum with the rhythm of your squirtings orgasm, the two mixing into a cloudly liquid on both of your lower areas, a string attaching the both of you as Sunwoo continues his pounding until he hears you audibly take a breath.
“Ready to say the right words, Princess?”
Your hole milks him, constricting around the neck of his shaft. The pressure is a bit tight for his liking but Sunwoo could care less about that when you're speechless to even say anything.
He's doing it again.
Destroying you and then putting you back together. If only you could speak telepathically, you would ask why he bothered to warn you as he pulled out of your dripping hole. You would ask why he bothers to wipe your forehead clean and press a meaningful kiss afterwards. You would ask why he bothers to put a hand under your head, freeing the strands of hair that were disgustingly stuck on your nape.
He frees your legs, setting your foot down and reliving the ache at the back of your thigh from earlier. And now, he offers you those sweet and disgusting eyes that make you forget about how he was showing you how he would rearrange your guts more.
The knuckles of his hands sweep across your cheek, the soft circular motion across your skin rendering you breathless.
“What are you doing?” The question comes out croaked.
“Just wanted to make sure my little baby is still aware of her surroundings.” The smug on his face didn't match the whisper from his lips. “Gotta make sure she's aware when I fuck her again.”
The provocation to ruin you involuntary makes your knees buckle but it never reaches because Sunwoo slots a leg there, his knee purposely nudging on your still throbbing clit.
“S-Sunwoo.”
Your brain is melting with how Sunwoo’s eyes get darker and darker. He hovers above you, the veins running down his arms trapping you between the sides of your head.
What he offers you is conflicting, his head zooming down to steal a kiss from your plump lips, mumbling sweet nothings as he chews and pulls on your bottom lip in satisfaction with the shuddering moans you give. Desperate for stimulation, your hands even push down on his nape, crushing his plump lips onto your face.
“Woah.” Sunwoo smiles in content. “Easy, Princess.” But he didn't take his advice, roughly entering his tongue into your mouth, wiping and exploring the insides of your cheeks and the roof of your mouth.
He's never done that before.
Usually after biting your lower lip, Kim Sunwoo would just spit down the inside of your throat, a hand wrapping on the outside as he forces the liquid to stay trapped in you as he cums inside your dripping hole. The order is now wrecked and you didn't know what to expect anymore.
Kim Sunwoo continues to devour you, a hand leaving the sheets and taking hold of the side of your neck. You anticipated that he would grip onto you but he didn't, instead his thumb brushes over your collarbones, curving down to your waist—he even dares to stroke your dip with his skinny fingers. He separates from your swollen lips, again with a strand connecting your session as he moves on.
Similar to the treatment you got earlier, Sunwoo gapes his lips, attacking the neck that he held soothingly earlier. He alternates the sucking with his teeth, determined to mark you up again for the world to see.
“W-What—Sunw—” Truly a wonder he's being right now. The hand on your waist makes its way up again and you feel breathless at the lack of strength he's exerting.
“Stay still for me.” Before diving to make another mold of his teeth on your skin. Trails of purple and blue make their way visible on the other side of your neck, Sunwoo now burying his nose between the valley of your breasts. The tip of his nose ghosts the space between, his cooler skin hitting your burning skin making you gasp.
“Why are you…” but the words die when Sunwoo grunts and starts to contrast the fingers that danced on you before.
This is it. This is the Kim Sunwoo you know.
The one that's nibbling on your right just like before, swirling on top of your enlarged buds to the point your back arches further towards his mouth. But his fingers weren't like the oral session from earlier, the one seconds before he enters into you, but more like the seconds just before he places the marks on your neck. The other hand just rests on your left side, not doing anything but pushing your back down on the drenched sheets.
The sexual tension increases but so do your frustrations about the way he's handling you so slowly and sensually. Before, you relished in his smug face, smirking at the way his cock entered into you, but now he's not even smiling, just closing his eyes as he nurses you slowly.
It was so slow and understimulating that you could speak normally.
“You’ve gone soft on me, Sunwoo.”
Sunwoo hums, not minding your words.
“I tried to contact you so many times during the past month.” And that's when he froze. “What were you doing?”
He knows that he couldn't avoid the question any longer but he has rehearsed for this conversation. Sunwoo smiles against his work of art, releasing your nipple with a final kiss. You're an idiot to think that he would answer you properly and you regret loving the smirk on his face.
“Why? Couldn't get any good fucks?”
But there's an emotion behind his eyes that you didn't miss. A strike similar to a shooting star, or basically a rock that passes through that makes your eyebrows furrow. Sunwoo swipes his thumb across the growing crease between your eyebrows and he listens to the pounding of his heart when he presses a lingering kiss to your forehead.
“Sunwoo.”
You call him out once more. The boy crawls away from you with a smile that you can't help but question. His knees shift away to the end of the bed but he still manages to steal another smooch from you, leaving another one on the tip of your nose.
“I'll give you my hoodie.”
When he said that, you expected him to chuck it to you, grimacing and telling you to cover yourself up. So you're more than surprised when he quickly puts his pants and top on, his hair messily attractive and sits on the edge of the bed next to you.
His orbs hypnotised you and for the first time, your heart clenched at the way he gave you a forced slight tug of his lips. Sunwoo manages to slip his oversized hoodie as well as the panties that had a little bit of him onto your leg, even propping you up so that he can secure the elastic nicely around your hips.
“Can you walk or did I destroy you that bad?”
“Wait,” you shake your head bewildered at his implications. “That's it?”
“Yeah?” Sunwoo answers as if he's not craving to go down on you once more. The gulp is dry down his throat and his hand is already on the door knob.
The door clicks shut again as soon as the outside light seeps through. Your palm stops the wood from separating from its frame and without thinking, your hands encircle his neck to pull him down into a sweet kiss, your back making sure the room stays private. Sunwoo hums into your mouth, closing his eyes in euphoria at the light tugs you give his scalp.
When you pull away, Sunwoo gives you a dazed look, a cloud forming from his eyes. “What's wrong?” His breath hitches when your fingers rake through his still sweaty hair but he focuses on the scent of your shampoo mixed with his cologne, trying to ignore how soft you're handling him. “Tell me, Woo.”
“Nothing's wrong.” He lies through lidded eyes. “You should go back to Younghoon. Left him with blue balls there.”
His demeanour only prompts you to kiss his chin up to his jawline where you whisper to him. “I don't care about him.”
“Oh?” Hoping you don't see through his teasing facade. “Hard to believe when you were grinding all over him back there.”
You're not giving into his jokes and he can tell with how the curiosity morphs into genuine worry. A soft palm encases his left blushing cheek and you give him what he thinks to be the cutest, most stunning smile. The room seems to be spinning and he holds onto your hips to steady himself. With it, he blurts out the start of his thoughts.
“I'm in love with you.” Sunwoo’s heart plummets when you stop the soothing rakes across his scalp. “But I know we're just fucking around and that I don't actually mean anything to you.”
You never knew that Sunwoo could appear so dejected. You're sure you didn't imagine the tears welling up in his eyes.
“You're in love with me?” You seek confirmation above the pounding of your heart. “Why?”
“Does there have to be a reason?” His shoulders rise only to flop back down again. “Nothing will change, will it?” It pains him that you'll never truly be his and he leans on your forehead, hoping that his genuine thoughts for you are passed through.
“I don't know.” You say truthfully, scared of the sudden words he's saying. “Do you want it to?”
A shaky inhale goes through his lungs and you stop your fingers on the outline of his jawline. “It's fine. Forget I said anyth—”
“No, Woo.” The pad of your thumb stops his rambling. “I know you want something from me.”
Sunwoo is greeted with the smile he's deeply fallen in love with, paired with the pearly white that he always looks for amid all the people at school. To say that he is crushing on you is an understatement. Above all the sex that you did, there were times when you both connected deeply. Above all the glares and provocation, he calls you whenever he needs comfort. Above all the marks he puts on your body, is the deeper want to have you only to himself.
“A date.” You kept your attention light on him, affirmatively humming even though he darted them away to the ground. “Not the fucking that we do and walk out after, but the ones where I come pick you up and give you flowers. And we go to the restaurant and you steal my food. The ones that innocent movies depict."
And you’ve always known that Sunwoo is a romantic lover with the way he holds your hands in his or the way he just had to cup your face when you’re crying, his thumb wiping across the undersides of your eyes. “If my baby boy wants to go on a date with me, I can't refuse, can I?”
“W-What?”
It's kind of cute to see the boy that you used to hate and vomit over so flustered. Your eyes form a crescent shape and you hide your blushing face in Sunwoo's chest. Sunwoo feels the fabric of his shirt crumpled behind and he swears he stops breathing when you press a wet kiss to his collarbone. “Date, time, location and dress code.”
The date went extremely well.
Too well? Maybe?
No such things between you both honestly.
And also, was there any point in asking for the dress code when everything is going to be stripped away from you in the end?
Sunwoo knocks on the door of your empty house with a bouquet that covers his face. The sight woke the butterflies in your stomach that also kick you from side to side because this side of Kim Sunwoo, the one where the corners of his lips don't convey a smirk, the one where he tries to hold your hand hesitantly and the one who presses a still kiss as a greeting, is a new side that you'll get used to.
But for now, in your room, heaving from another ruined orgasm, Sunwoo is back to the rough person he is. The appearance of his lower face drenched in your juice makes your eyes roll to the back of your head instantly, the crown of your head deep in your pillow.
"You're fucking joking." Exhausted and throbbing with need, fingers itching to get a grip of him and pull him towards you.
"Not really." He mocks the contort of your face. "Those were needed, baby."
Being edged once made you breathless and Sunwoo loves how your pelvis grinds against the air for release, taking the look of your south clenching around nothing. It's even worse that he has positioned your legs folded, knees up, hands around your ankle, holding you down to the mattress as tears brim out from your eyes.
And Kim Sunwoo is unrelenting.
“So,” going back down to your glistening buds, blowing air in short, sharp relays, “having fun?” the tip of his tongue starts on the hole he entered a few days ago, up to flicking your swollen clit.
“Please, baby boy, please.” You're desperate. “Let me cum.” Just something…
Intrigued, his eyes shot to yours. “What does my pretty girl want from me?” He offers you a simple flick of the tear rolling down your eyes. “Say it and you’ll get it.”
“Everything of you.” That’s all it took for Sunwoo to release the grip he has and for his chest to meet with yours, his lips offering you a passionate kiss as he spits a little bit of him, eyes dark to tell you to swallow.
When you gulp, a hand rests on your collarbone but the pressure is just what you need to fall in love with him more. Sunwoo lets you catch a breath and he takes this time to see the beads of sweat on your forehead as the strands stuck on it, your whole face is red and your lips are heaving exhales but to him, you’re still the most beautiful person in the whole world. A hand cups your cheek and you focus on how he bites his lower lip, fascinated at how he looks at you intently with golden swirls in his orbs.
His heart swells at the way you brush your hands against his from earlier, first linking your pointer with his and gradually increasing until you take his whole hand. His heart remembers the way it thumps against his chest with the way your eyes shape into crescents, smiling with your lips. His legs remember intentionally taking smaller steps just so that he could have you by his side, his thump stroking your waist.
His train of wholesome thoughts ends when you unexpectedly reach out to grab his dick, Sunwoo moaning out at the way you expertly handled him. Your hands enwrap on him, pulling up slowly before pushing back down as he gives into the pleasure, laying his forehead on yours.
A thumb swipes on the slit of his cock when you pull. His hisses and breaths hit your philtrum but you wouldn't have it any other way, kissing the tip of his nose as his face contorted slightly, close to his release.
“No,” he forces himself to stop, a vein clearly down his neck in impatience. “I want to cum inside you.” Furrowing his eyebrows at the sight of you increasing your speed.
“Paint me first.” How could he resist that offer when you bat your eyelashes so prettily? Deep grunts fill the room, the string of white spreading across your abdomen.
The mess he created only made Sunwoo riled up, his fingers brushing to collect his cum and he spread the liquid to your lips like makeup. It’s a new type of play for you both but you enjoy the kitten licks that you steal as he continues to clean you up in a different way.
“Dirty.” Sunwoo grins proudly. His knees move closer to your hips and he holds your legs closed between them, his still hard length resting on top of your needy cunt—what comes with that is the prodding of your clit being swallowed between his slit.
The throbbing makes you squirm in his hold but Sunwoo just shakes his head, telling you to hold it for a bit longer. A hand reaches over the back frame behind you and his eyes scan through your pout, very contrasting to your erect nipples.
Kim Sunwoo loves you through and with his successful confession after your dinner date that led you to this bed, you know now that you love him too.
“I love you.” The way you cup and stroke his sharp jawline makes him weak and his hands slide down to take a fistful of the sheets.
“Is this your way of telling me that you want to cum, pretty girl?”
Your sound resonated and it was supposed to be light but the gripping he had on the wood only made him want to ruin you more.
“Please, baby boy?” Exaggerating the shine in your eyes.
Both of his hands make their way underneath your thighs, folding you into position. Sunwoo collects his saliva and spits it down to your cunt. You're so sensitive that the liquid only made you even more desperate.
“Okay,” he affirms the glare and curse words. “I'm going to rock your world.”
Sunwoo finally plunges into your needy hole and the stretch is incredibly satisfying. You could tell that Sunwoo is finding pleasure in your pulsing walls as well and he could again, just release into the pressure of it all.
Your nails immediately find a place on his back, scratching it white as it fades to red as you grab a hold of him. Sunwoo plunges into you slowly and excruciatingly, he didn't ask you to beg though because he picks up his pace, the vibration rippling through your skin from your hips to your boobs that move in motion.
“So fucking good.” The crown meets your pillow again. “Keep clenching on me, baby.”
“S-Sunw—ah…” You shut your eyes, directing all your attention to the wet noises of your bodies together, the squelching helping you reach closer and closer. “Please don't stop, I'm begging you.”
The fear is evident in your voice. “A new thing-fuck-to beg for, hey?”
In the back of your mind, you hope that one of the metal springs of the mattress could just hit his head but on second thought, that wouldn’t do any good for you. Let’s hope that the creaking of the bed isn’t a sign that the furniture is going to break apart anytime soon.
“Please, please just let me cum.” You continue.
“Fuck.” Lifting your legs to his shoulders to a new angle. This made you scream, “So fucking loud. Let the whole building know.”
“Baby boy…” Your nails imprint on his soft flesh, your teeth holding on to the bottom lip in ecstasy. “Baby…”
At the mention of the last word, Sunwoo goes faster, deeper, his tip touching deep, close to the beginning of your stomach, a bulge starting to become evident.
He's so deep into you that you're so deeply gone.
“Let's put a baby inside you, hm?” Oh, the thought of that… “A mini me or mini you.” Moaning louder. “Just innocent unlike how your body has been handled multiple times.”
Oh God…help your soul.
“Even then,” a sharp, calculate thrust, “when we have kids running around,” another one, “I'll make sure to never stop fucking you dumb.”
Sunwoo feels the start of your release as your pussy grows louder even when he just keeps his consistent strength and pace. He's also close to the lines between his eyebrows saying so and the addition of your legs crossing behind his back in an attempt to break the band in your stomach draws him inevitably closer. Before he prompts anything out loud, Sunwoo takes your lips between his, making sure that his feelings are conveyed.
“I love you.”
And though exhausted and broken, you whisper back with trembling lips. “I love you too.”
When the words sink in, he delivers his final offer to you, balls deep inside of you as he now paints your insides. You release along with him, shaking underneath his weight. You're nowhere near enough for him, overflowing even though he’s buried deep inside.
The aftermath of the strong orgasm has you twitching and jolting, whining and whimpering with a bit of a chuckle.
Sunwoo rests his forearm beside your face, staring down at you fondly. “Are you alright?” He pushes himself up more, about to pull up but you grab a hold of his arm before he moves further.
“No…” Enjoying the feeling of his softening dick inside yours. “I like it…”
“If my baby likes it,” Sunwoo doesn't increase the gap between you. He instead snakes his hands underneath your back, scooping you up and lays on his side with you. His hand pushes your face to the crook of his neck, smiling at your heaving that cools the sweat on his neck, “then I'm not going anywhere.”
Sunwoo waits for your breaths to even out a bit more but for old times' sake, he pushes his pelvis into you unexpectedly, making sure he’s deeply and comfortably inside you.
Just for his entertainment.
navi/masterlist!! 🤍
tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿@heemingyu @itsbeeble
#deoboyznet#k-labels#k-films#sunwoo x reader#sunwoo smut#kim sunwoo smut#the boyz smut#the boyz x reader#tbz smut#the boyz hard hours#sunwoo imagines#kim sunwoo x reader#tbz scenarios#kim sunwoo imagines#tbz hard hours#the boyz fanfic#kpop smut#sunwoo scenarios#the boyz scenarios#the boyz#the boyz imagines#the boyz fic#sunwoo fluff#sunwoo fanfic#kim sunwoo fluff#kim sunwoo angst#sunwoo angst#sunwoo x you#sunwoo headcanon#kim sunwoo
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Should’ve Said No
Summary: It’s dark, and cold, and lonely when Seungcheol gets to your apartment. He knows what he’s done. He knows the mistakes he’s made. Now he’s stuck wishing he had just said no.
Genre: Angst, idol!au, lovers to strangers, hurt/no comfort
Pairing: Choi Seungcheol x gn!reader
WC: 1.4k
Series Masterlist
WARNINGS UNDER THE CUT
Warnings: this is gonna hurt, cheating, a lot of arguing, swearing, mentions of alcohol use, there will be no comfort, cheol is a BITCH, reader calls the mistress a bitch, a bit of violence (reader slaps cheol and shoves him)
Listen to Should’ve Said No by Taylor Swift for full effect
It’s quiet in your apartment when he opens the door. He’s tired, and all he wants to do is curl up beside you after months of being away on tour, but there’s something weighing on his chest. Something lonelier than the apartment he comes home to.
It’s dark, and it’s quiet, and it’s lonely, and he swallows the lump in his throat when he sees you at the kitchen counter with your back turned. There’s a faint light from your phone, but he can’t hear any videos playing. He notes how you’re curled in on yourself, one of your arms wrapped around your stomach and the other clutching your phone.
“Y/N?” You visibly flinch when he speaks, and you lift your head. Your face is just barely illuminated by the light of emanating from the screen in front of you. “Baby, what are you doing up?”
You shrug, fingers drumming on the counter as you debate what to say to your lover. He comes up behind you, and you can sense his hand rising to touch your shoulder.
The sound of your phone slamming down on the marble stops him, and he can only freeze when you get off your chair and circle around to the other side of the kitchen, leaning with your back pressed against one of the drawers and your arms dangling limply by your side.
There’s an social media post opened on your screen and a lump begins to grow in his throat.
CHOI SEUNGCHEOL, AKA S.COUPS, OF SEVENTEEN SEEN WITH MYSTERIOUS WOMAN
There’s a video of him, clear as day, leaning down to this woman’s ear and whispering something. His hand is placed on her hip, rubbing circles with his thumb. He pulls back, just far enough to look her in the eye and he has to shut his eyes, knowing what comes next.
“Baby, listen—”
“Don’t call me that,” you’re oddly calm when you speak, almost defeated. “You don’t get to call me that.” Seungcheol purses his lips, turning your phone off and lowering his gaze to the counter.
“I’m sorry.” You can only look at him, the disbelief and anger and sadness in your eyes spearing him to his spot in your apartment.
“That’s it?” You whisper, but to him it’s almost like you screamed it right into his ear. “That’s all you have to say about that?”
“I…” he huffs out a breath, shifting his weight left and right. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Y/N. I really don’t. You saw the post, you’ve probably already decided where you want to go from here—” He doesn’t even see you cross the room. He doesn’t hear your feet softly hitting the ground, he doesn’t hear the soft sobs leaving you. Seungcheol only feels the stinging of your hand against his cheek, the burning of the aftermath.
“You don’t…” he admires that you take a moment to collect yourself before speaking again. “You don’t have a single explanation for what you did? Not even a weak ‘I didn’t know what I was doing’ or- or a ‘I was drunk and thought she was you?’”
You’re pacing, tugging at the strands of your hair and plucking the split ends. You’re not looking at him, and he wishes he could take back everything he’s said tonight.
“Would that help?” His voice is bitter.
“Did she approach you first?” You look at him suddenly, and it’s his turn to look at the ground.
“What?”
“Did she approach you?” You repeated. “Or did you go to her? You always did like someone who made the first move.” Your voice trembles and Seungcheol feels the regret bubbling up, a boiling pot ready to spill over and burn at any given moment. “Was she even worth it? Was she worth ruining what we had?”
“I- no she wasn’t—”
“Then why did you do it, Choi Seungcheol?” You snap. “Why didn’t you just say no? Push her away, tell her you were taken— fuck, Seungcheol, why didn’t you just go home?”
You can’t help but wonder why none of the boys were there to stop him. You wonder where they were when he made the choice to shatter something good. To take everything he had and smash it on the floor, stomping on it and crushing it to dust. Did they know? Did they even care? Why did none of them tell you?
“Do you really think we would’ve lasted anyway?” Seungcheol glares hard at you, the exhaustion from his flight and the will to just end this and move on with or without you pushing to the front of his brain, words spilling from his lips before he could think to stop them. He watches you reel back, watches the fight disappearing from your eyes. It’s so dark in your apartment, so dark that he can hardly see but he can’t help be glad for the lack of light. He can’t bear to see the tears welling in your eyes right now.
“What are you talking about, Seungcheol?” Your voice cracks.
“Our relationship was failing either way,” he spits out. “I’m always gone, and when I’m home you have work. It was bound to happen to one of us at some point. And don’t tell me you haven’t at least thought about it, because you’d be a fucking liar.”
Silence, and then you’re taking a step back, pressing yourself against the cold metal of the refrigerator. Your heart is pounding in your chest, blood roaring in your ears.
“Get out.” Seungcheol blinks at you. His hand wraps around the back of the chair next to him.
“What?”
“Get. The fuck. OUT. GET OUT. GET OUT OF MY FUCKING APARTMENT,” you’re shoving him toward the door, beating on his chest with your fists knowing that you aren’t doing any lasting damage so you grab one of the travel bags he’d set down and throw it at him. He stumbles back, dumfounded and clutching the bag you’d thrown at him. “I gave you EVERYTHING. I stuck with you knowing that NOBDY FUCKING ELSE WOULD HAVE BOTHERED and you just throw it the away for some bitch you met at a club?” He tries to hush you, warning that your neighbors would wake up but you couldn’t care less. He’s pressed against the door now, and he’s almost afraid of what you’ll do and what you’ll say even after he leaves.
“You need to calm down,” his voice is trembling now. Not from fear. No, this is anguish. It has finally hit him that he’s losing you. That there is no coming back from this.
“Don’t fucking tell me to calm down, Choi Seungcheol.” You spit out. “I hope she was worth throwing six years down the fucking drain.” You rip your door open, shoving him and the rest of your bags out. “Happy fucking anniversary.”
Seungcheol feels his stomach drop, his heart falling with it when the door slams in his face and the lock clicks into place. He feels almost numb, confused, and almost…almost relieved that you didn’t decide to just kill him where he stood.
His body slumps forward, his forward resting against your door while he gathers his thoughts.
You were right. You had given him everything, gave him your all through the entire relationship. You’d supported him and loved him and forgiven him for everything he’d done.
Except this. He’d done absolutely unforgivable. He couldn’t turn to anyone for this, knowing they’d never forgive him. The members themselves already won’t speak to them, and when they do it’s business only. He wonders which member would have told you if you hadn’t found out on your own.
Was she worth it?
He truthfully doesn’t know the answer to that. He’d been so cruel to you rather than accepting that he was wrong. So, so very wrong for everything he’d said and done.
He should���ve gone home, called it a night and told the members to either catch a ride with him or find their own way home. He should’ve pushed that woman away the moment she’d touched his arm. The moment she leaned up to ask him to dance with her. He should’ve said no the moment he saw her, but he didn’t. He’d betrayed you, betrayed your trust, betrayed everything the two of you built together and there was no getting it back. Not this time.
It’s cold, and dark, and lonely while he walks down the hallway. It had been a long time since he’d felt this alone, since he’d truly given up.
It’s cold, and dark, and lonely, and it’s all his fault when the rain pours down and doesn’t stop.
~
Taglist: @captain-brie (i tagged this one bc i didn’t know which you wanted me to tag 😭😭)
#itsbeeble#itsbeeble masterlist#kpop#kpop imagines#kpop x reader#kpop angst#kpop fluff#kpop smut#seventeen#seventeen imagines#seventeen x reader#seventeen angst#seventeen smut#seventeen fluff#choi seungcheol#seungcheol imagines#scoups#scoups x reader
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Lovin’ Me (pt. 1)
Summary: You and Jeonghan have a...difficult relationship. You love him, and though you would like to think he feels the same, you know he will never love you. So why do you keep going to him every time he calls?
Genre: Angst, (mild) smut, college!au (are we surprised? no), hurt no comfort
WC: 2.9k
Pairing: Yoon Jeonghan x fem!reader
Read the other parts: pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3
WARNINGS UNDER THE CUT || MINORS DNI!!!!
Warnings: mild smut, pet names, angst, name calling (in the not sexy way), mild bullying? Idk that’s it I think. Jeonghan’s kind of a bitch
listen to Lovin’ Me by FIFTY FIFTY for the full effect
It keeps happening
Let's meet again
At this hour
You feelin' me?
You did it again.
You responded to his call.
Despite the late hour, despite the exhaustion weighing on your bones, you responded to his call. Responded to Jeonghan, to the way he called you only when he wanted someone. Wanted someone to touch, to kiss, to fuck. Someone willing to be under him.
How could you not? When he treats you like he cares for your, makes you feel like you’re the only person he has his eyes on. Like you’re the only one he holds at night, calling you pretty names while he fucks you into oblivion.
When he’s pounding into you, you can’t help but wish that you were the only one he would do this to. With his hand on the base of your neck, your legs wrapped around his slim waist. The pleasure is building up, a knot winding up so tightly in the pit of your stomach that you can’t help but whine his name into the open air, can’t help but claw at his back, holding his shoulders for dear life.
One of your hands finds his hair, tangling in the black strands and pulling a pretty whine from his lips.
“Fuck, sweetheart,” his head falls into the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply and placing light kisses into your sweaty skin. “Do that again.” You do, your back arching into him and your walls fluttering around his cock when he thrusts into you even faster.
You let your eyes flutter shut again, taking everything he gives you in this moment, knowing that when it’s over, you’ll have to leave again. Pretend that he never touched you, never fucked you, never convinced you that maybe…maybe you could be something more.
~
He’s watching you, his eyes tracing your naked body as you lay beside him. Neither of you is saying anything, just letting the silence wash over you. Jeonghan wonders what you’re thinking. You’re quiet. Too quiet, your breaths making hardly any noise in the silence of his bedroom.
It’s sudden when you get up, swinging your legs over the side of the bed and gathering your scattered clothing items. Jeonghan checks the time on his phone. 3:07AM. He gnaws on his lip, his brows furrowing.
“You should…” Stay. You should stay with me. Stay with me forever, love me the way I love you. “You should get going.” He watches your body stiffen, and a lump begins to form in his throat. “Don’t want anyone finding out, y’know?”
“Yeah. I know.” You tug your shirt over your head, searching for the slippers you’d worn over. You refuse to look at him. You keep your eyes on the ground, but he can tell by the shaking in your hands that you’re upset. “Can’t have anyone thinking you care about me. What a scandal.”
“Sweetheart,” Jeonghan sighs and sits up, leaning against the headboard of his bed. “You know that isn’t what I meant.” You look at him, finally, and shrug.
“Sure it isn’t. I was just joking.” He knows that’s not true. Knows that you’re more hurt than you’re letting on.
“Come here,” he beckons you toward him, but you hesitate. “Sweetheart, come here.” You do, and he leans forward to grab your hand and pull you toward him until you’re sat on his lap, only separated by your thin shorts and his duvet. Jeonghan runs his hands up and down your sides, squeezing lightly at your hips. Your hands are resting on his chest, and you’re refusing to look at him again.
His hand comes up to your chin, grabbing it between his thumb and pointer finger and forcing you to look at him. There’s a tiredness in your eyes, beyond the late hour and the…activities you’d participated in not thirty minutes prior. It scares him.
“You know I care about you.” A kiss is pressed to your lips, featherlight but enough to have your eyes fluttering shut and waiting for more. So he gives you what you want. His kiss becomes heavier, but stays slow and patient. His tongue runs across your lip, and he waits for your lips to part before he pulls away, teasing you just a little. “I’m sorry if it seems like I don’t.”
He watches you nod and pulls you into him, your head now resting in the crook of his neck and his arms wrapped around your waist. He stays like that for a few moments, cherishing the time he gets to hold you, to pretend that you’re his and no one else can have you.
~
The scorn-filled looks you receive from him the second you enter the lecture hall has your throat tightening and your eyes watering. You listen to the way his new fling flirts with him, mocks you, and throws herself all over him. He responds to the comments, though disinterested, with equal amounts of mockery. He makes a fool of you, and his friends just watch and listen with looks of utter confusion, as if they hadn’t seen him kissing you and holding you with absolute infatuation in his eyes.
“Hey,” you flinch when Seungcheol takes a seat next to you.
“Hi…?” You can feel a set of eyes burning into the side of your head and know Jeonghan is glaring at the two of you from across the room.
“Are you and Jeonghan okay?” Your body stiffens, and Seungcheol frowns. Your professor enters the hall at that moment, and you expect the taller, muscular man to get up and head over to his friends.
But he doesn’t.
He sits with you, waiting for you to respond to him.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You stare straight ahead, trying to listen to the older man at the front of the room talk, but it’s hard when Seungcheol is staring down at you.
“Y/N,” he speaks quietly now. “Aren’t you two a…thing?” He’s even questioning himself, and you can’t help the scoff that leaves your lips, louder than expected.
“You really think I would willingly be with him?” You’re upset. Seungcheol can tell, and you know it frustrates him just as much as it frustrates you.
“You don’t have to lie to me.” Seuncheol nudges you with his elbow. “You don’t have to lie to any of us. Everyone already knows. It’s just the two of you that don’t want to admit it.”
“I don’t have anything to admit.” You lie. “We aren’t together. We aren’t dating. We aren’t a thing.”
Seungcheol frowns, and even you know that you’re trying to convince yourself more than him.
~
“Seungcheol,” you flinch when you hear Jeonghan’s voice approaching the two of you after class. He’s walking towards the two of you, his new girl draped under his arm. He’s glaring at the two of you, his gaze only hardening when you meet his eye. “What are you doing with this…thing.” He sneers at you, and your gaze drops to the ground.
Thing. Jeonghan sees you as a thing. An object. He didn’t call you a freak, or a bitch, or a nerd. He called you a thing as if you weren’t even worthy enough to be considered a person. Like you were some second-rate object that’s been used and tossed aside over and over again.
“Don’t call her that, Jeonghan.” Seungcheol snaps, stepping in front of you. “She isn’t a goddamn object. She’s a person, one you’re being a piece of shit to for no reason.”
“Oh please,” Jeonghan scoffs. “You really think I don’t have a reason?” He takes a step forward, and so does Seungcheol. He looks tiny compared to the other man, smaller in stature and build. But he stands his ground, confidence radiating from his body. The girl behind Jeonghan begins whining, tugging at his arm until the dark-haired man snaps at her and waves her away. She scoffs, glaring at him and then at you before stalking away.
“I’m getting real sick of your shit, Jeonghan.” Seungcheol hisses. “And so is she.”
“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” Jeonghan’s eyes flick to you, an unknown emotion filling them before he’s looking back at his friend. “What kind of bullshit has she put you on now?”
“Don’t play stupid with me, Han.” Seungcheol leans down to his friend, whispering something that you can’t hear, but you can see a bit of panic in Jeonghan’s eyes before it’s replaced by annoyance. “You understand me?”
“Loud and clear.”
~
It was hours later when you hear from Jeonghan. Hours later when you get the weak apology text, and him telling you that he’d meet you in front of your dorm to bring you to the party that night. You almost text him back to tell him you wouldn’t be going. That you felt sick and he should just go and have fun with his friends. With the girl he’d been with. But you don’t. You can’t bring yourself to lie to him, even when he does it every day.
Truthfully, you don’t understand him. Don’t understand why he feels the need to lie to you and to everyone around you. The burning feeling inside of you, the knowledge that you never come first in his life no matter what he tells you when you’re together. No matter how he tries to convince you that you were the one he wanted. That you were the one he cared about, not the girls you see him with every other week.
“You’re thinking.” Jeonghan glances at you out of the corner of his eye, scanning your face and your body. He watches the way you tug your dress down, sliding the straps just a little further up your shoulder. You look over at him and shrug.
“I’m not. Look at the road.” He scoffs, but listens to you nonetheless.
“You make it sound like I don’t know you, sweetheart.” But you don’t. You want to scream. You want to tell him everything that’s been on your mind these past few weeks. But the look in his eye, the genuine concern…it stops you. You know, or you think you know, that he cares about you. That he wants you to be okay.
“I said I’m fine, Hannie.” You can hear the pounding music down the road and start to unbuckle your seatbelt. “Stop the car.”
“What?” You look at him, your eyebrows coming together.
“I need to get out, remember? Before anyone can see me?” Another scoff from him. “What are you scoffing at?”
“Why would I drop you off down the road? We can walk together.”
“But why— you never want us to be seen together.” You can see him sink in on himself. He pulls the car over, and you stare up at the house. Maybe this is what he wants. He wants to lead you on, to show you to people as if he wants to be with you and then dump you on the ground again by the end of the night.
You flinch when he opens your door, holding a hand out for you to take. You can see people lingering on the front lawn, watching you and talking to each other. You don’t know what they’re saying. Don’t want to know. His hand is warm in your own, and you find yourself easily slipping into the rhythm of being his again, just for a few hours. Just for the night, and then everything will go back to the way it should be. The way he wants it to be.
“Let’s go, sweetheart.” Jeonghan’s smile is warm, but you don’t return it. You tug your skirt down your legs, your free hand shaking while you’re led up to the front door.
He knocks, his eyes moving to your figure while he waits for the host to open up.
The door swings open. You drop Jeonghan’s hand before the host notices, stepping away when the two men greet each other. You slip inside without either of them noticing, and disappear to a corner of the room where none of his friends would notice you.
You begin to mingle. You begin to talk to people you know, talk to people you’ve never seen before. You begin to grow comfortable, but never fully. Not when you can feel Jeonghan’s eyes on you the whole night. Not when you can see him standing with his friends with a cold glare on his face. Anger, maybe. Never jealousy. Not from him.
He attempted to approach you a few times, but you were quick to slip away from him. You were quick to avoid his attempts at talking to you, at insulting you or getting too close. You avoided him altogether, if possible. But it was getting harder. He was popping up out of nowhere, trying desperately to get you to stop for just a moment.
~
“Sweetheart,” he approaches you again, when you’re leaving the bathroom. Your eyes go wide, and you try to squeeze by him again. He takes a deep breath, his jaw clenching before he shoves you back into the tiny room, locking the door behind him.
“Jeonghan, what are you doing?” You hiss, trying to push past him again but he catches you by the arm and presses his lips harshly against your own. He kisses you hard, nearly knocking you over from the force of it and causing your arms to fly up, using his shoulders to stabilize your body. Everything inside of you, every thought and every beat of your heart, screams at you to shove him away from you. Everything about this sets off alarms in your brain, but you shut them down. You let him kiss you. You let him sweep you off your feet again, let him empty any thoughts you might have had of pushing him away.
When you pull away, your heart pounding and your breathing labored, he doesn’t let you go far. He doesn’t let you pull out of his grip and escape around him. Not yet. Not when he has so much to tell you.
“Why are you doing this?” His eyes go wide at your question. At the tears that begin to pool in your eyes.
“What?”
“Why do you…Why do you do these things? You— you tell me that you hate me. You can’t even consider me a person in front of your friends or— or anyone at these fucking parties or at school. You pretend I mean nothing to you, treat me like this side piece that comes to you at every beck and call. And then— and then when we’re alone you act like you actually care about me. Why, Jeonghan?”
The tears are spilling down your cheeks. He watches them fall. Watches them slip under your chin and down your neck and all he wants to do is wipe them away but he feels like he’s frozen in place.
“I don’t— I do care about you, sweetheart. You know I do!” He reaches for you, tries to take your other hand in his, but you pull away.
“No, I don’t.” You shake your head, flinching when a knock sounds at the door. “I don’t know shit, Jeonghan.”
“What— what do I have to do to get you to believe me?” He begs, his voice trembling just like yours. He can’t lose you. Not like this. Not yet. “You— do you want me to— to yell it out for the world to hear? Do you want me to drop Eun-bi? What. Tell me what you want and I’ll do it for you.” He’s on his knees, and you stand about him with a look nearing heartbreak.
“No, you won’t, Hannie.” Your voice cracks and you watch as the realization hits him. That you’ve hit your breaking point. “You won’t do any of that. You know why?”
“Why, sweetheart.”
“Because you don’t love me.” His heart shatters. He’s sure you can hear it cracking into millions of pieces. “Not in the way you think you do. Not in the way I want you to.”
“So…so what? This is it?” You take a deep breath, looking away from him. He’s on his feet again, reaching for you and forcing you to look at him. “You’re just gonna leave? Just like that? You’re not even going to give me a chance?”
“I’ve given you chances,” you snap, jerking out of his grip. “I’ve given you far more chances than I should have.”
“You don’t mean this.” He scoffs.
“I do, Jeonghan.” You look him in the eye, far angrier than you had been moments ago. “I’m done trying. I’m done trying to get you to love me how I love you. I’m just…I’m so tired.”
This time when you step away from him, he lets you leave. He lets you unlock the door and open it gently. He watches you hesitate, waiting for him to say something, anything. Wait for him to stop you.
He doesn’t.
He watches you leave.
Oops! I'm losing again
Even if you take it slowly, I want you to reach me
Falling in
~
TAGLIST: @stfuayu
#itsbeeble#itsbeeble masterlist#kpop#kpop imagines#kpop angst#kpop smut#seventeen#seventeen imagines#seventeen angst#seventeen smut#yoon jeonghan#seventeen x reader#yoon jeonghan imagines#jeonghan imagines#jeonghan x reader
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If I (Lovin Me pt 3)
Summary: Jeonghan has made so many mistakes. He’s let so many things slip away, so many things that he’s cherished. He won’t let that happen again. He won’t let you slip away from him anymore.
Genre: Angst, fluff, College!au
Pairing: Yoon Jeonghan x fem!reader (featuring Joshua, S.Coups, Hoshi, Mingyu, and DK)
WC: ~6.7k
Read other parts: pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3
WARNINGS UNDER THE CUT
Warnings: Alcohol consumption (not a ton though), mild flirting, Jeonghan is sad, reader is sad, everyone is sad, swearing, name calling (not the fun kind), a few mental breakdowns, the reader knows she was being manipulated and was somewhat okay with it (idk just read it), Joshua is flirty but like in a best friend kinda way, everyone knows Jeonghan and Y/N are simps, Jeonghan MEGA SIMP
Listen to If I by Seventeen for full effect
A/N: In honor of me reaching 300 followers, here is part 3 of Lovin me! I appreciate all of you for reading this and I hope you continue to enjoy my works <3
~
Our path, our promise to be together
Is already thwarted and you walk away, turning your back on me
It reduces to a single dot
It's too empty outside of that interest
I hope that that dot
Comes back before me and turns into you
“Have I ever told you how stupid you are?”
Jeonghan is sitting on the couch, head down and his hands tangled in the strands of his hair. Across from him stands Joshua, Seungcheol, Soonyoung, and Seokmin. He barely makes the effort to listen to his friends as they yell at him. He wants to say that he doesn’t know where those words came from. He wants to say he didn’t mean to say any of that, that he was just mad and didn’t know what else to do.
But that’s a lie.
He knew exactly what he was saying. Though the reason he said it is something that can’t be found, he’d wanted to tell you that since the night of the party.
“Are you even listening to us?” Soonyoung’s gaze is hard. There’s nothing but anger in his eyes, and Jeonghan feels the guilt beginning to seep into his bones again. “What the fuck were you even thinking?”
“Soonyoung,” Joshua, ever the voice of reason, cuts in. “Leave him be.”
“Shua—” A glare from the older man and Soonyoung shuts his mouth, leaving the room shortly after.
“Seok, make sure Soonyoung stays out.” The other man doesn’t really say anything, just shoots Jeonghan a murderous look before stalking out of the room.
There’s a certain tension building between the three remaining men. Jeonghan keeps his head down, avoiding the judging glare the Seungcheol obviously has glued on and the disgust that Joshua tries to force down and replace with pity. The two, having known Y/N a little more than everyone else, were rightfully angered.
“Do you have anything to say to defend yourself?”
Jeonghan finally lifts his head, his cheeks red from anger and embarrassment. He wants to scream and yell and throw things and hit the men in front of him. He wants to run out the door, find you, and fix things. He wants to do so much, but all he can do is bite back a sob.
He’d never been a particularly emotional man. He’d never been one for crying, thinking that there was no point in being upset over something from the past. His family had always been stoic people, keeping their emotions to themselves and never letting the public see them come apart. Jeonghan had grown up the same way. Jeonghan had thought that he’d stay that way.
Then he met you.
Emotional. Broken. Crying over dogs that die in movies. He’d been disgusted by how open you were with your thoughts. Disgusted that you showed your struggles to the world and didn’t care if you embarrassed yourself.
~
The first time Jeonghan officially met you was in the spring of your sophomore year. He was a semester ahead of you and had convinced himself that he was far superior to every other student at this university. He’d seen you in passing, in some classes the semesters prior, and had bumped into you in the halls once or twice. Never had you spoken. Never had either of you thought the other was important.
He approached you for the first time while you were studying for your Organic Chem final. You’d been crying quietly at the time, muffling your sobs with the sleeve of your sweater. It worked, mostly. But apparently, Jeonghan, from across the library, believed that you were far too loud and far too pathetic for his liking.
“You’re weak.” He stares down at you, standing at the head of your table in the library while you try to stop your tears. You look up at him, tears not slowing and a confused pout on your face. His lip curls, anger washing over him in tidal waves.
“Excuse me?”
“You’re weak,” he repeats. “Pathetic, really, that you’re crying over something so trivial.”
“Why do you care what I’m crying about?” You ask.
“Oh, I couldn’t give less of a shit about you,” he smiles, but it’s condescending. He doesn’t care what you feel after this, he just wants his opinion of you known so you can stay out of his way. “I care that you’re annoying as shit and bothering me while I try to get stuff done without listening to your pathetic blubbering.”
You’re shocked, he can tell, but that just means that his words will sink in and hopefully you can shut up.
Unfortunately, he underestimated you. And, unfortunately, he failed to see the iced coffee beside your textbooks until it was soaking into his hair and the crisp white button-down he’d made the fatal mistake of wearing that day.
“Who…” he seethes, “the fuck do you think you are?”
“Who do you think you are?” You snap back. “I didn’t fucking do anything to you, so why do you think you have the right to come over here and insult me? You don’t even know me you egotistical rich prick.” He would never have admitted it to you, but he’d admired how you stood up to him. How you didn’t bend to his will just because of who he was, what his reputation was. He’d admired that you didn’t even recognize him, although, at the same time, it bothered him to no end. Jeonghan wanted you to know him. He wanted to break that strong will of yours, no matter what it took.
Especially now that you’d dumped coffee over his head and forever stained his favorite shirt.
~
It was months later— September of your junior year, to be exact— that he allowed himself to let his guard down for the first time. At least, for the first time in front of you, of all people. Jeonghan, frankly, couldn’t help the disgust overwhelming every other emotion when you’d approached him outside his frat’s party. He’d tucked himself away, out of the view of all partygoers, hidden by the branches of an old oak tree. His heart beat rapidly, slamming against his ribs time and time again until he thought the bones were going to break.
A crunch in the leaves behind him and he flinches, tearing his head out of his hands to wipe the tears from his eyes.
He catches sight of you, and you him.
You’re wearing a skirt much too short and a shirt far too tight to be considered comfortable. You walked in heels far too tall for your feet to stay stable in, and he watches you wobble over to him. He can’t find it in him to scoff or laugh or mock you. He lets you sit beside him, playing with your thumbs and not saying anything.
You listen to him cry, but you don’t make fun of him as his family would. You don’t comfort him. He’s grateful to you. He’d never admit it, but he was grateful that you just sat there quietly.
He lets his head slip down and rest on your shoulder, and he feels you tense up. Jeonghan half expects you to shove him off, with how he’d treated you.
You don’t.
The next day, you went back to normal. He knew it hurt you when he started openly berating you again, mocking the way you dress and the way you talk. He saw the tears pricking in your eyes and scoffs. How dare you think that things would be different. How naive could one possibly be?
After your class together, though, he’d made excuses to his friends so he could catch up to you. They didn’t question him. They never did.
“Hey,” he called out to you. The halls were near empty. Most people were either studying or in class, so nobody would see him approaching you.
You turn to him, your eyes narrowed.
“Yes?” Your answer is simple, your voice quiet but clearly annoyed. He frowns.
“I just— I hope you know that last night changed nothing about how I feel about you.” You raise an eyebrow, and he goes to speak again, but you interrupt him.
“Why do you hate me so much?” He runs his tongue over his lip and shrugs.
“Because you’re easy.”
~
“I told her she was easy.” Jeonghan looks between Joshua and Seungcheol with this…distraught look on his face. “I told her that she was an easy target. Like she was someone that was meant to be used.” Joshua mumbles some curses under his breath and pinches the bridge of his nose, stepping away momentarily.
“When did you say that?” Seungcheol asks quietly. Jeonghan can practically feel the rage building inside the older man, can feel it bubbling up inside him and waiting to boil over.
“During…while I was talking to her. I told her just a little bit ago and— and I told her that a few months ago. Back when we first started this whole thing.” More tears are beginning to well up. He can feel them starting to roll down his cheeks but his body is shaking so badly he can’t move. “She knew from the start that I hadn’t given a shit about her. Why did she— why would she agree to that arrangement if she’d known I was just using her?”
“Because she cared about you, Jeonghan.” Joshua snaps. “Because even though she knew you hated her, she also knew that you felt you had no one who could help save you from yourself. She saw that you were just killing yourself slowly, from the inside out, and she wanted to help you no matter what it cost her.”
~
“Y/N?” A tap on your shoulder and you flinch, jolted out of the trance your econ textbook had you in. Joshua stands to your right, two coffees in hand and his backpack over one shoulder. You smile at him and he sets the drinks down, away from any of your papers. “I figured you’d need something to keep you going.” A pretty smile, one that would have anyone’s heart fluttering.
Yours wasn’t excluded from that.
“I appreciate that, Joshua.” His bag drops to the floor, and he watches you for a few moments. He watches you spin the cup he’d set closer to you, tracing your nail across the lid while you highlight any information that stood out to you within the pages. There’s no discomfort between you two. There’s no elephant in the room. You know why he’s there, but you also know he’s not there for Jeonghan. He’s there for you.
“Are you…Are you doing okay?” Your eyes flick up to his again and you shrug.
“Good as I can be. You heard what he said. I know you did.” He nods slowly.
“Yeah…” You smile sadly.
“I should’ve known it, really.” Joshua’s head jerks back slightly, his eyes narrowing at you to try and figure out what you mean. “That he didn’t really care about me.”
“That’s not true, Y/N.” Joshua shakes his head and you shrug again.
“Sure it is. I mean…I don’t doubt that I was a form of comfort for him and that he grew attached, but at the end of the day I didn’t do much more than that. I was different. I was something that he wasn’t used to, and he liked that. Maybe that thought somehow convinced him he was in love with me but that’s…I don’t believe he did. Because if he loved me, why was he saying those things to my face? Why was he…why was he so cruel?”
Your eyes are beginning to sting with the presence of tears, and you use the sleeves of your shirt to wipe them away. Joshua watches you sadly and curiously. You want to laugh. Only a year ago, you’d been in a similar position with Jeonghan. Him crying under that stupid oak tree with you watching him and not saying anything.
“I don’t know, Y/N…I truly…” Joshua inhales and sinks back into his chair. “I wish I could give you some kind of explanation for the things he did. He’s…he’s always been a bit rough around the edges. He’s only started opening up to us because of you. Because you taught him that it’s okay to feel things like that.”
“I didn’t teach him shit.”
“That’s not true, baby.” He shuts his mouth when the name slips out, and he waits for you to correct him. When you don’t, he continues. “You taught him what it felt like to love someone, whether it was romantic or a form of obsession. You taught him that it was okay to cry. That it was okay to want things, to need things.”
“I’m not going to forgive him, Joshua.”
“I’m not asking you to.” He leans forward. “I’m asking you to see from his perspective why he said those things. I know that it’s no excuse. I know he should’ve just ignored you from the start if he knew he was gonna speak so horribly to you. But he didn’t, and that led to both of you getting hurt. I want you to just…Just try to understand a bit more about him, okay?”
You dig the nail of your thumb into the side of your index finger, ignoring the sting it sends through your nerves.
“I just wanted to help him.”
“I know, baby. I know.”
“Why did he…Why did I let this happen?”
“You didn’t do anything wrong. He just…he isn’t the easiest person in the world to get along with.” You try to laugh but it comes out in a quiet sob. You raise your hand to your mouth, biting into your skin to keep yourself quiet, and Joshua moves to the chair next to you. You let him pull you into his arms, one of his arms wrapping around your shoulders and the other running up and down your back. In the back of your mind, you wonder if this is why Jeonghan is so cruel. He never had anyone to truly comfort him. He never had someone to smother his doubts and worries, to give him a hug when he was struggling. You can’t help but wonder what he’d be like if he’d received that love. Would he have been kinder? Would he have loved you the way he repeatedly claimed to?
You don’t know. And, now, you don’t really want to.
~
“What did she say?” Jeonghan is pacing the span of his bedroom, biting the nail of his thumb until there’s practically nothing left to bite. Joshua sits in the middle of the older man’s bed, legs crossed and body leaning forward to rest his arms on his knees. “Was she mad? Did she ask to see me? Did she yell?” A hundred questions are running through Jeonghan’s mind, and Joshua attempts to keep up with the ones that manage to slip out of his lips.
“She wasn’t…mad, per se?” He’s questioning himself before he even begins. “She was more, like, sad. I think. She was sad and confused. Just like you! Man, you guys are perfect for each other!” He attempts a joke, but Jeonghan just scowls.
“You’re not funny, Hong Jisoo.”
“I know.”
“What else did she say?”
“She…She was really set on the fact that you chose her, of all people, to use. But she also knew from the start why. She wanted to help you, at first. To help you break out of the shell you’d created around yourself. And then she let it go too far and, well, here we are.”
“So she doesn’t forgive me?” Jeonghan leans against his dresser and tips his head back with a sigh. Joshua watches him carefully, gnawing on his lip in thought.
“Not yet, at least. I think you just… I think you need to put in the effort to fix things. I don’t think apologies are really gonna do anything anymore. Especially not with what happened last time you tried to fix things.”
“You’re still not funny.” Jeonghan hisses. Joshua scoffs and sits up straight.
“I wasn’t kidding. Han, you’re on a losing streak in terms of apologies. Every time you even try, you make things worse for yourself and for her. I want to help you, but if you keep fucking up then I can’t! I won’t sacrifice my friendship with her because you decided to be a fucking moron!”
Joshua’s voice echoes around the small bedroom, and Joshua throws his body back onto the mattress. He knows he shouldn’t have gotten himself involved in the situation. Knows he should’ve stayed away from you in the first place, no matter how drawn to you he was. But Jeonghan is his best friend. How can he leave his best friend to suffer like this while he prances around, flaunting the fact that he’s able to stay in Y/N’s life and Jeonghan isn’t?
That’s cruel. And no matter what Joshua thinks of his best friend at this moment, he won’t lower himself down to Jeonghan’s level. Not now, not ever.
“So what’s the plan?” Jeonghan is laying by Joshua’s head, his legs dangling off the edge of the mattress.
“Plan?” Joshua echoes, his head turning to look at the older man as best he can.
“You know, the plan to help me fix things?” Jeonghan frowns. “You do…have a plan…right?”
“Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah, I have a plan.”
~
You walk into your lecture hall the next day, and there’s a muffin and coffee in front of your seat. Just plain black coffee and a chocolate chip muffin. Nothing special, except for the bright blue sticky note attached to the paper cup. Your first thought is that someone put it by the wrong spot, that it was for someone else that sits near you.
You lift the note a little, trying to find any clues as to who this could be for. A name for the recipient, a name from the sender. Anything. Fortunately, you find both. Scrawled in messy handwriting is a note for you.
It’s hard to ESPRESSO my feelings for you, sweetheart,
But MUFFIN compares to you <3
Enjoy the coffee and the muffin,
I know you have a lot of classes today
I love you.
~ JH
Your second thought of the day is to tear up the note and throw away everything he left on your desk. Anger and confusion are beginning to boil inside you, but you know you can’t let it show. Not when he walks in just moments later with Joshua and Seungcheol in tow. There’s no girl hanging off his arm this time. In fact, for the first time since he’s met you, he gives a smile and a small wave. You don’t return the actions, just sink into your seat and lower your head so you can’t possibly lock eyes with him so you won’t have to interact with him.
Unfortunately, he sits down right next to you. He doesn’t say anything to you. He just sits down and, shockingly, takes out his laptop and a notebook. You glance at him out of the corner of your eye but look toward the front of the room just moments later. He’s comfortable. You can tell just by the way he smiles and lets himself lean back in his chair. He’s usually sitting up straight, eyes straight forward and lips drawn into a line.
People are staring at the two of you. People are whispering, just quiet enough that you can’t hear what they’re saying about you. You imagine that they’re shocked, confused, and a bit upset that he chose you instead of them. If only they knew the extent of your relationship.
You wish that you could push him out of his chair, tell him to fuck off, and leave you again like you’d told him to only a few days prior.
But you can’t. Embarrassing the so-called king of the school would set you aside as a social outcast and you would likely be relentlessly harassed for the rest of your time here.
Instead, you choose to push the coffee and muffin aside and focus on the lecture up front. You ignore Jeonghan, and how he examines your side profile. You ignore how your stomach growls and the smell of the muffin is growing stronger. You won’t cave. Not to him. Not anymore.
~
The next day, you walk into your first class and there’s another muffin. Joshua sits in the chair beside yours, and he looks up with a smile when you approach.
“Someone left you something,” his tone is teasing while he pushes the wrapped treat toward you. You scoff and push it back toward him.
“I don’t want it. You have it.”
“He doesn’t want me to have it,” Joshua argues and shows you the little sticky note on the coffee. “Look! Words cannot ESPRESSO how much you BEAN to me, sweetheart! Isn’t that so cute?”
“I hate you. And I hate him too.” You drop your bag and slump forward. Joshua pushes both items in front of you one last time and rubs your back comfortingly. “I don’t understand him, Shua.”
“Eh, does anyone?” A sigh from you, but no response. You’re too tired to deal with this. Too tired to care that Joshua would absolutely be telling Jeonghan about his success. You take a sip of the coffee and your eyebrow arches. You’d never told Jeonghan your coffee order.
“How the fuck did he figure out what my favorite coffee order was?” You shoot an accusing glance at Joshua who just rolls his eyes.
“I didn’t tell him anything. Did it ever occur to you that maybe he paid as much attention to you as you did him?”
“No.” You say flatly. “He didn’t pay attention to me. He hated me, remember?” Joshua grimaces and you turn to the front of the room.
~
The week continues like that. Jeonghan would leave a coffee, a stupid note, and a muffin at your seat during your first class. If he shared that class with you, he sat right next to you. He tried to make conversation once, his voice and hands shaking while he did so. He was so nervous to just say hi, and you were cold in the way you shot him down. He didn’t waver, however. He kept that quiet, relaxed confidence up. You were almost impressed by how persistent he was.
Almost.
Friday night rolled around, and you were already on your way to the Sigma Tau frat to meet up with Joshua. You knew there would be a lot of people there, knew that too many students would be getting drunk off their asses before finals started on Monday. You weren’t going to exclude yourself. You knew you had friends to keep an eye on you, but you also knew how to pace yourself so you could have a good time but not put yourself in a potentially dangerous situation.
Still, though. You were nervous. Nervous that Jeonghan would corner you again and try to talk to you. You were nervous that you, in your soon-to-be inebriated state, would find it in you to forgive him for everything.
“Just stick with me,” Joshua reassured you. “I won’t let him bother you too much.”
“I’d prefer if you didn’t let him bother me at all,” you mutter and pull your skirt down slightly. It was still early May, so the lingering low temperatures of winter bit at your skin and raised goosebumps in its path.
“You know that I won’t be able to stop him from approaching you. He always finds a way, baby.” Joshua squeezes your waist while he guides you through the crowd. Already you can spot Jeonghan laughing with the other guys in the frat, drinking some ungodly concoction Vernon had thrown into his cup. Seungcheol spotted you first and subtly shifted his body to hide you from his friend’s view. “I can, however, keep him from finding you for a little bit.”
“You’re an angel, Shua.” You smile at him, and he throws a wink at you. “So what has our friend Vernon mixed up tonight?” You lean over the counter and Joshua stands across from you. People bump into you while they stumble by, some people already plastered and others trying to help their plastered friends.
“Something with a lot of tequila,” he points at one of the three large containers, “something with a lot of rum,” he points at the middle container, “and something with a little bit of every alcoholic drink we have. Just for fun.” He points at the final container
“Ooh, sounds…” you make a face and Joshua laughs.
“I know. But, you know Vernon, he likes experimenting.”
“I’ll bet.” You drum your fingers on the counter and point at the first container. “I’ll start with some of that…mixture?”
“Coming right up, babe.” Joshua grabs a cup for you and starts to get your drink. Both of you make a face at the odd red liquid that pours out, but your friend is quick to sniff it and take a small sip. “Good news, it isn’t poison!”
You take the cup from his hand and take a sip as well. A grimace passes over your face almost immediately.
“Bad news,” you clear your throat, “I’m gonna be absolutely off the walls from whatever he put in this.”
“Wasn’t that your goal?” Joshua comes up beside you again, that pretty smile of his making you blush a little bit. Under the purple lights, however, it’s nearly impossible to see the redness in your cheeks.
“You ask a lot of questions, Shua.”
“And yet you still give me the answers I want.” You shove his arm, but he hardly budges from his spot. He just smiles and laughs at your annoyed pout, and guides you back to where the crowd is growing thicker. Jeonghan sees you now, you know he does. His eyes are practically locked on you, his mouth practically hanging open. You see Seungcheol mouthing an apology from across the room, and you nod to acknowledge it.
You figured he’d find you at some point, you just didn’t think it would be so soon. You thought you would at least be tipsy. You hoped you would have been drunk.
But no.
You’re stone-cold sober, and he’s staring at you with this longing look in his eyes. You look away first, and Joshua frowns.
“He found you?”
“Yeah.”
“Surprised he didn’t immediately come over here and start kissing your feet and begging you for forgiveness.” You both watch a girl approach Jeonghan, and Joshua gasps loudly when he pushes the girl away. You can tell Jeonghan said something harsh to her, just based on the way she quickly runs back in the direction she came from to hide in her group of friends.
“Jesus, that was cold,” you remark. Joshua hums.
“I told you, he isn’t interested in anyone else but you.”
“Not this again, Shua.” You groan and let your head fall back.
“I’m just saying—”
“Just stop! It isn’t…I won’t do this again!” Joshua stands his ground this time, staring down at you with stern eyes and crossed arms.
“I’m not saying that you need to forgive him immediately and start fucking him again.” You scowl.
“Then what do you want me to do, Shua?”
“I want you to just…start over? I guess? Just start over with him. Reintroduce yourselves, and forget your whole history together. Start as friends, or fucking date, or whatever works for you. Just…just don’t do this shit where you guys— and not just you, because this wasn’t your fault. I don’t want you to think I’m blaming you because I’m not— just don’t force us all to choose between you and him, because that would end up hurting more people than necessary. I don’t care if you talk and decide to be anything to each other, just don’t let this go any farther.”
~
The lights have become blinding, the music deafening. A headache is beginning to form, creating an ache behind your eyes. You lost sight of Joshua hours ago, although you don’t doubt he’s with the other boys in the frat. Odds are, he’s gotten himself drunk and forgotten all about his promise to not leave you alone. You don’t mind though, you’ve grown comfortable in your little corner of the room, out of sight and away from the eyes of the other partygoers. Your plans of getting drunk are long forgotten, now thinking too hard about what Joshua told you.
“Have you seen Jeonghan?” Mingyu stands in front of you, a drink in his hand and his teeth gnawing on his lip.
“No, not since earlier. Why?” You look up at Mingyu, your lips twisted into a puzzled frown.
“He’s been missing for, like, an hour. Nobody’s seen him apparently. Figured I’d ask you since you’d been staring at him for three hours.” You scoff at the comment and cross your arms.
“I wasn’t staring at him.”
“Oh, I’m sure.” Mingyu nods as if he believes you, but you know good and well that he doesn’t, and he doesn’t really care either. “Anyway, last we heard is that he was drunk off his ass and trying to talk to you, I think. I dunno. Something about a mental breakdown?”
Your throat began to close, but you forced yourself to speak again.
“I have no idea where he is, Mingyu, and I don’t plan on searching for him.” That’s a lie. You both know it just based on the way your eyes flick toward the back door and your teeth gnaw on the corner of your lip. A small, almost pitying smile crosses the tall frat boy’s lips.
“Well, if you see him, tell him that we’re waiting for him to play pong.”
“Will do.” He tries to slip through the crowd, but his bulky frame bumps into several different guests, which causes him to spew out a variety of different apologies until he makes it to the dirty plastic table that had been set up on the other side of the room.
You know you shouldn’t find him. Every instinct in you is screaming for you to just stay where you are, find Joshua, or just leave the house. But a small piece of you, something so minuscule you almost don’t feel it, is asking you to please find him. Make sure he’s okay. Don’t let him suffer on his own again as if you hadn’t been suffering on your own for months. Years, even.
You stare down at the drink in your cup, the ice in it now melted to create a watered-down tequila mixture. You know you won’t drink it. Know that it won’t do anything to provide you with the courage you need to do this.
~
The music is muffled now that you’re outside, but your ears are ringing from the sudden change in noise level. You’re shocked to see no one out here. Usually, there’s a bit of a crowd trying to escape the noise and have a quiet conversation. You’d think that more would be out here just to enjoy the weather after a brutally cold winter.
But there’s no one.
Probably ideal for the conversation you’re about to have.
You inhale quietly, staring at the oak tree that’s barely twenty feet from where you stand. The branches have begun to grow leaves, shielding anyone who might be under it. Shielding Jeonghan, who you know is tucked behind the trunk and isolating himself. That’s what the two of you would always do if you wanted to get away from the noise. One of you would sneak out of the house, out of the view of the guests, and tuck yourselves behind the tree. The other would join a few minutes after. It didn’t matter which of you wanted to leave, somehow both of you ended up under the tree at the end of every party, waiting for everyone to go home or go to bed.
“Jeonghan?” Your voice comes out quieter than you intend it to, but it’s enough to get his attention. You see his head lean to the side, almost laying completely on his shoulder. His dark strands of hair fall to one side of his head, a shine catching on them from the lights of the house. “What are you doing out here?”
“Getting away from the party.” His voice isn’t slurred, which is a good sign. He’s probably had a few drinks but nothing to keep him from talking to you. “Too loud in there these days. They’re gonna go deaf.”
“They’ll be fine. Are you okay?” You don’t sit beside him. You don’t make any moves to be anywhere but five feet in front of him, rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet. You wait for the discomfort of the situation to set in, but it doesn’t.
Not yet, anyway.
“Peachy.” You can see a cup of something next to him, pressed between two large tree roots. “You?” He doesn’t look at you. Not in the eyes, anyway. He’s scanning your body from head to toe, likely trying to figure out if you’re actually with him.
“Let’s get you back inside. The boys want to play pong and they need you in there.” You avoid the simple question. When you look at him again, he looks…sad. Broken, really. You stick your hand out for him to take, and he looks at it with furrowed eyebrows.
You stay like that for a few moments. He sits against the trunk of the tree, staring at your outstretched hand thoughtfully. You stand a few feet away from him, your arm beginning to ache and the air beginning to bite at your skin.
“Remember the first thing I said to you?” He finally asks. You drop your hand and sigh.
“You called me pathetic.”
“I called you weak.” he corrects. “There’s a difference.”
“Not a big one.” He rolls his eyes.
“Do you know why I said that?” Your heart is beginning to ache. You know he’s going to tell you all the reasons he hated you as if you weren’t aware of them already. “Because I was jealous of you.”
“You were jealous?” Your nose scrunches and you move closer to him, out of pure curiosity. He watches you take a seat next to him, flinches when your arms brush together. “Why?”
“Because you were everything I wasn’t.”
“Right, because you weren’t free to feel things.” Your neck cracks when you turn to look at him. Jeonghan laughs and nods.
“I guess so, if you wanna make me sound like a robot.”
“You might as well be.”
“Don’t be rude.”
“I think I’ve earned this.” He goes quiet, and you wonder if you’ve said the wrong thing. If you took it a step further than you should have, and now he’s going to hate you and your whole friend group will be forced to pick sides, just like Joshua said would happen.
“You think too much,” he’s looking at you now and when you lock eyes, he doesn’t look away.
“Maybe.”
“I always kinda liked that about you. The way you think about everything. But sometimes you think too much, and you get lost down this rabbit hole that no one can pull you out of.”
“I mean if you put it like that…”
“Don’t go thinking on me now,” he nudges you and you smile. “Don’t wanna have a conversation with a brick wall.”
“Oh ha ha,” you pick at the skin around your thumbnail and lean your head against the bark of the tree. “Isn’t it weird how…even with everything that happened, you’re still the person I’m most comfortable with?”
“What about Joshua?” Jeonghan sounds bitter, but you know he isn’t. He knows you would never like Joshua, at least not how you like him.
“Nah, he doesn’t get me like you do.”
“Careful now, you almost sound like you love me.” still. You almost sound like you love me still. You know that’s what he wants to say, with the way he cuts himself off like he was punched in the gut. The way his eyes water just slightly, and when the light hits them just right it looks like they’re shining brighter than the stars above the two of you.
“Oh, wouldn’t that be a scandal?” Your voice is soft now, and neither of you laughs this time. There’s a sad cloud floating above you two, waiting to pour down rain and drench the two of you.
“I really am sorry, sweetheart.” Your heart swells when he says that. Your throat closes up once more and you have to take a moment before you speak. “I didn’t mean anything that I said to you that day.”
“You did, though.” He opens his mouth to argue but you place your hand on his knee to stop him. “You did mean it, you just…didn’t exactly intend to say it. Yes, it hurt to hear it out loud for the first time. Yes, I hate you for saying it and confirming what I already knew. But…it isn’t necessarily your fault. I mean, it is, but also it isn’t. You can’t help that you were raised like that. You can’t help that you resented me for being able to feel what you wanted to. You didn’t…you didn’t receive the same love as I did when I was growing up, and that isn’t your fault. What is your fault is how…you didn’t tell me anything. I had to find out from people around us why you hated me so much. I had to find out from Joshua that…that you did love me, you just didn’t know how to show it or prove it.”
“I know, sweetheart, and I’m so sorry.” A tear slips from his eye and you smile when you wipe it away. Your hand lingers, and he presses his cheek into your palm. You feel him exhale a warm breath of air and his eyes shut.
“I know you are. And I want to forgive you, Hannie, I do. It’s just…it’s going to take some time.”
“I know,” he place his hand over yours and squeezes lightly. “I know it will.”
A comfortable silence washes over you, and you feel a cold breeze wash over your skin. Your body trembles from the cold and Jeonghan frowns at you.
“Why didn’t you bring a jacket?”
“To be fair, I thought I’d be inside the whole time and it gets very warm in there.” Jeonghan scoffs and starts to remove his jacket, despite your quiet protests.
“You need to start bringing a sweatshirt or something to keep you warm. You know we come out here a lot, so why didn’t you think of this?” He scolds you, forcing you to slip your arms into his jacket while he does. It’s a few sizes too big for you and the sleeves go fast past your hands, but you don’t mind. It’s warm, and comforting, and honestly you might not return it to him.
“I’m sorry.” You lean your head on his shoulder, and he stiffens for a moment. “I’m sorry for not understanding.”
“You have nothing to apologize for, sweetheart. You did nothing wrong. Your lack of understanding is my fault, and mine alone. I didn’t…I just didn’t trust you enough, which I see was a mistake.” His hand rises to touch the back of your head, his fingers rubbing where your hair has been tied and relieving the ache that had begun to form. You feel him starting to relax against you, his shoulders sinking and his legs slipping down to lay flat across the grass. You hear a door open behind you, and a few laughs. On instinct, you start to pull away, but Jeonghan’s grip tightens, keeping you secured to him.
You expect him to make a comment. You almost want him to.
Instead he looks toward the sky, partially blocked by the low-hanging branches and smiles.
“The stars are pretty tonight, aren’t they?” You lift your head to look at him. He keeps his eyes facing forward, but the hand he has in your hair slips down to your shoulder and he draws you into him.
You smile before you respond.
“Yeah, I guess they are.”
If we can walk this path together again
I want to hold your hands and give you warmth
If I hold your cheeks with warmed hands
Will you smile again for me?
~
TAGLIST: @woofie-nctzen-fanarts-320 @dearlyjin @joenghaniee @mikachu-chu @listxn @youre-on-your-ownkid @ti--red @springdaybreaks @momoxxchewz @rum-gone-why @everyoneluvscheol @dr3aluv5 @shiningstar-byulxx @preets-kpop-world @fragmentof-indifference @stfuayu @fanfic24
#itsbeeble#itsbeeble masterlist#kpop#kpop imagines#kpop angst#kpop fluff#kpop smut#seventeen#seventeen imagines#seventeen angst#seventeen fluff#yoon jeonghan#seventeen jeonghan#jeonghan x reader#seventeen x reader#jeonghan smut#jeonghan fluff#jeonghan angst#yoon jeonghan x reader#yoon jeonghan angst#yoon jeonghan smut#yoon jeonghan fluff
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Hate That... (Lovin’ Me pt 2)
Summary: You hated that he could move on so fast. That he could act as if nothing ever happened, that you were nothing, while you were left picking up the pieces of your heart. But you never got to know how he felt. You never really got the truth.
Genre: Angst, college!au, hurt no comfort
Pairing: Yoon Jeonghan x fem!reader! (featuring Hoshi, DK, Dino, and mentions of S.Coups)
WC: 3.1k
Read other parts: pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3
WARNINGS UNDER THE CUT
Warnings: Angst, Jeonghan is an actual bitch, mentions of a panic attack, mentions of sex (like a bunch), swearing, I think mentions of alcohol at one point but I could be lying, Jeonghan also gets slapped
Listen to Hate That... by Key and Taeyeon for full effect
And I hate that I hate that
You’re happy without me
And I pray and I pray
I want you to be painful as much as I do baby
I can feel the breakup falling apart alone
You wonder, deep down, if you’d overreacted. If you should’ve just kept your mouth shut so that you still had him, even if it wasn’t the way you wanted. You can’t help but gnaw on your lip, your footsteps quiet against the tile floor of your university. There’s this burning feeling in your chest, this burning anxiety that just keeps building and building. Will it bubble over? Will you break down, further embarrass yourself, and make him hate you more?
Your nail digs into the side of your thumb, subduing the thoughts for a few moments and allowing you to take a deep breath. Everything feels uncomfortable. Your clothes feel too itchy against your skin, your jeans rubbing the wrong way, your bag too heavy on one shoulder and too light on the other. You’re hyperaware of everything that could possibly be wrong with how you look and a lump is beginning to form in your throat.
You should’ve just left it as is.
He was happy to just have you at night, so why weren’t you?
You ruined everything. You always do.
The thoughts are beginning to overwhelm you, and you can hear footsteps approaching from the opposite direction. You can hear laughter, and bright conversation despite the early hour. Your vision is swimming, heat building behind your eyes as tears begin to well up.
Are you okay?
You can’t tell if the voice is in your head or not until a hand comes to wrap around your arm, pulling you to the side of the hallway.
“Y/N,” Joshua is in front of you. One of Jeonghan’s friends, one that stood by and watched as the man who claimed to love you in secret belittled and berated you every day. “Are you okay?”
You can’t breathe, and you think he can tell when he rubs circles into your arms with his thumbs, trying to keep your attention and ground you.
“Look at me,” his hand brushes the underside of your chin, turning your glossy eyes to his. “Do you want to leave?” Your breathing starts to grow shallow, and he’s pulling you away from the lecture hall.
You see him then. You see Jeonghan, watching you and glaring at you. He just stands there, another girl on his arm vying for his attention like you had for so long. You watch him turn away from you, his lip curling momentarily before he’s kissing the girl. The pulse behind your ribcage begins to stutter and your hand grabs onto Joshua’s, squeezing tightly while the man led you out of the building and into the courtyard where a cool breeze begins to wash over your skin.
You knew you were right. You knew that he would never love you, not like you loved him. You hated it. Hated that he could be happy without you, while you were here suffering from the consequences of letting him win. You were never together, you know that, but this hurts worse than any breakup. That after everything he told you, everything he convinced you was true, you still meant absolutely nothing to him.
~
Anguish.
That’s what Jeonghan feels when he watches you walk away with his best friend. Anguish at the knowledge that he’s officially lost you. That you’ll never crawl back to him the way he always goes crawling to you.
He knows you’d never believe him if he told you that he loved you. Not now. Not after his failure at the party. Jeonghan remembers how heartbroken and tired you’d looked when he couldn’t find the words to tell you that he loved you. Remembers the tears that you tried so hard to fight back when he tried to stop you from leaving.
Vaguely, Jeonghan can think of all the times he’d known you questioned your relationship with him. He thinks of the night he almost asked you to stay, but instead told you to leave.
Oh, what a fool he’d been to think you’d hold out for him forever. When he treated you as something less than human and flaunted his flings right in front of you. What a fool he’d been to think that you would just…let everything he’d done to you go without a second thought.
But now, as he watches Joshua run his hand up and down your back, hugging you into his chest, he can’t help the burning rage that fills him. He knows he has no right to be upset, especially not now that he solidified your belief that you meant absolutely nothing to him.
“Hannie,” Ha-Seung whines, tugging at the sleeve of his shirt. He barely spares a glance at her, but he sees her flinch at the sharp look in his eye. “What’s wrong, Hannie?”
“Don’t call me that.” Jeonghan’s voice is filled with a different kind of venom. One that causes his new fling to step back and lower her gaze to the ground. He knew it wasn’t her fault. Knew that she had no idea what he was feeling and why he was feeling it. No one did. No one would ever believe that he would love you. That someone with status and power would fall in love, obsess, adore, and yearn for someone who has nothing. No money, no true status in the world or in school.
Now he was confused. You really were just…nothing. You were no one. You weren’t popular, you didn’t have many friends, and you kept to yourself. So why was he so drawn to you? Why did he claim to hate you? Why was he so focused on you when he could have and does have, anyone he can possibly think of?
“It’s simple,” Soonyoung takes a large bite of the rice on his plate after he speaks, and his next words come out muffled. “You wan’ so’one t’ balansh you ou’.” He swallows, ignoring the disgusted looks he receives from his friends. “You want someone stable. You want someone loyal. You crave someone who can love you unconditionally, and ignore that, yes, you have status and yes, you have power. She’s that person.”
“It also helps that she’s smart and funny and very pretty.” Seokmin chimes in, pushing his glasses up his nose.
After the party, it had become blatantly obvious that Jeonghan was upset. He only got more upset when he tried to explain to Seungcheol and Mingyu, and both told him that they already knew. That they always knew, and that it was only a matter of time before she left. He discovered soon after that all of his friends knew.
Not that he was the definition of discreet, with how loud the two of you were and the marks left on his neck, matching yours whenever they saw you (read: him) arguing.
“So…what do I do then?” He leans forward, resting his chin on his hands, which have been resting on the table. “It’s not like I can just go up to her in front of the whole student body and just…proclaim my love for her.”
“Jeonghan, you’re one of my best friends and I love you.” Soonyoung sighs. “But you basically just admitted that you’re still embarrassed by her.”
“I’m not!” The older man cries. “I’m not embarrassed by her! I love her so much it physically pains me to admit it. I’ve never felt like this about anyone, and it scares me.”
“So if she came up to you right now and asked you again if you loved her, what would you say?” Seokmin presses. “Right here, in front of two hundred people in this cafeteria.”
Jeonghan hesitates. Truthfully, he doesn’t know. He isn’t embarrassed by you. He could never be embarrassed of you. But to have people know that he’s been fucking you and loving you in private while verbally assaulting you in public, what would happen? What would they think of him? They’d think he’s a monster.
And they’d be right.
“I’d…I’d tell her I love her, I think.”
“You think?” Soonyoung echoes in disbelief. “You can’t think you love Y/N, Jeonghan. You have to know you love her before professing your love and acting all jealous because Joshua helped her and you can’t even go near her without calling her a thing.” A callout to what he’d said to her just three days prior. He flinches when he recalls the look on your face, the tears in your eyes, and the way Seungcheol immediately stood up for you.
“Here’s what you’re gonna do,” Soonyoung leans forward, a glint in his eye that has Jeonghan leaning back. “And you’re gonna follow this plan, okay?”
~
You almost regret going to the Sigma Tau frat to study with Seungcheol. You had so many memories here, good and bad, and you swear you might cry when you look up at the house and see the window that you and Jeonghan would climb out of to sit on the roof together. You’re quick to turn your gaze back to the wooden door in front of you, your fist poised to knock. You freeze, panic beginning to settle in. What if no one is home? What if Jeonghan is home? What if he tries to talk to you? What if he starts to yell at you? That panic begins to build when you knock on the door and Jeonghan is the person to answer it, albeit a bit disoriented. His hair is a mess, his eyes half-lidded, and his sweatpants slipping down his hips a bit. It’s quiet for a moment while you both register what’s happening. While he registers that you’re right in front of him and he’s right in front of you.
“Y/N-ie!” Chan shoves past Jeonghan, embracing you in one of the tightest hugs you’ve ever gotten. “I missed you!” You blink, unsure of what to do. Sure, you’d seen the other boys in passing but you’d never actually met them.
“I, uhm,” Chan leans toward your ear, and you can feel his breath fanning your neck.
“Just go along with it. Please just play along.”
“I- I missed you too, Channie.” You awkwardly embrace him in a hug and you watch Jeonghan’s eyes narrow. Jealousy? Anger? You’re not sure what you’re seeing in his eyes, but your heart aches a bit. “How’ve you been?”
“I’ve been good!” The younger boy grabs your hand, shoving past Jeonghan to let you into the house, and drags you toward the kitchen. “Let me go get Seungcheol.”
“Oh, it’s okay. I can go find—”
“No,” Chan says sharply, his eyes practically begging you to just stay where you are. “Just stay here!”
“Oh…kay?” You watch him run off, and find yourself rubbing a nonexistent stain off the table. It’s silent now, and you faintly hear a door slam and hushed voices. You let your bag slip off your shoulders and hit the ground with a dull thud.
“How’d you meet Chan?” You jump when Jeonghan comes up behind you, moving to stand next to you at the table. He puts space between you, even though the last thing you really want is to be far from him. You can try to hide it, but you can’t help but love him. Can’t help but want to be how you were only a week ago.
“Oh…just between classes, I guess.” He hums, and you eye him carefully.
“You and Seungcheol have gotten close.”
“We just study together.” Another hum, and this time silence. It’s becoming awkward, and the air has become thick. You wonder why he hasn’t left yet, or why he hasn’t started on his usual tangent about how you’re nothing to him. Since, clearly, he couldn’t possibly love you. No. You’d been a fool to believe that someone like him could love someone like you.
“Y/N,” Jeonghan takes a breath, and you hear his feet shifting around. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.” You turn to him, your eyes narrowed.
“You don’t have to be sorry for not loving me, Jeonghan. It really isn’t that big of a deal.” You try to sound genuine, but you know that you sound bitter. You feel bitter, and you likely look bitter as well.
“That’s not— sweetheart that’s not what—” he cuts himself off, his eyes squeezing shut. “That’s not the only thing I’m sorry about, but we’ll get to that later. Just…I wanted to say that I’m sorry. For everything. For how I treated you in the past, and how I continue to treat you.”
“It’s fine.” He scoffs.
“You’re lying. No one is fine with being treated like they’re worth nothing. No one should ever put up with that, and the fact that you put up with it for so long is just…” his voice trails off and he digs the dull nail of his thumb into the old wooden table. You can see, now that you’re looking at him, how tired he looks. There are bags under his eyes. His skin is pale, his hair is hardly taken care of when usually he puts utmost effort into making himself look presentable. Like a prince. “You shouldn’t have had to go through that, and I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
Your heart is pounding, your body frozen in place while he searches your eyes for something. For anything. Acceptance, forgiveness, hatred, anger. You can’t feel anything, though. It’s like you just became empty the moment he spoke to you, like you can’t register anything anymore.
He stays there in front of you, seemingly not caring that his words have broken you. He waits, though it’s just a fraction of the time you’ve spent waiting for him and he knows it.
“Why now?” Jeonghan tilts his head and you repeat yourself. “Why now? After all this time, after you told me that you didn’t care about me the way I care—”
“I didn’t say that!” He snaps.
“You didn’t have to!” You yell back, tears burning behind your eyes again. The house is quiet. Too quiet, and you just want to leave.
Jeonghan looks away from you.
“You didn’t…” your breathing is shaky, “you didn’t have to, Jeonghan. The way you acted was enough.”
“Sweetheart,”
“Don’t call me that.” He purses his lips and exhales through his nose.
“Y/N, I’m sorry. I just… I haven’t felt like this before.”
“Like what?” You look at him again, and he’s getting closer to you. He keeps a good distance between the two of you, but he’s inching his way closer and waiting for you to tell him to stop.
You don’t.
“In love.” He smiles sadly. “I’m in love with you, whether you believe it or not. I’ve loved you for a long time now, I think.”
“You’re lying.” Your voice starts to break. You don’t know if you believe him. You don’t know if you want to believe him. After all, he can lie so easily to everyone else. What’s to stop him from lying to you?
“I’m not.”
“You are.” He’s right in front of you now, his breath fanning your face as he tries to get you to meet his gaze.
“Why would I lie to you, sweetheart?”
“Because that’s what you do.” Your brain is screaming at you to stop, but you won’t. Not anymore. “You lie to people, Jeonghan. You lied about us, you lied about caring about me. You made me feel worthless, Jeonghan, and now you have the audacity to tell me that you love me?”
“I told you, Y/N.” He snaps. “I told you that I’m sorry. What more could you possibly expect from me?”
“I want you to be honest for once!” You cry. “I want you to tell me the truth!”
“FINE.” He yells. “You want honesty? Fine. I targeted you because you were easy. Because you were desperate. Because I knew that no one else wanted you and that you could give me what I wanted because you weren’t obsessed with me. You just wanted someone who could pretend that they gave a damn about you. I hated that you were allowed to show your misery, that you allowed yourself to show how weak you were. I loathed that I couldn’t do that because I had so many people watching me all the fucking time. So I went for you. And I drove all my frustrations into fucking you, into pretending that I cared about you just so I could break you down and make me feel better. But then something changed. I felt…I felt different, one day. One day I just…I didn’t want you to go. I wanted you to stay with me and love me and just…be with me.”
He took a deep breath.
“I wanted to be the person that you could be happy with. I wanted to be the one that made you happy, that had you laughing to yourself even when I’m not with you.”
~
Jeonghan doesn’t expect the stinging of your hand hitting his cheek. He doesn’t expect to see you lifting your bag off the ground, tears running down your cheeks, and violently sobbing.
“Fuck. You. Yoon Jeonghan.” Your voice comes out in a whisper at first, and he swallows hard. “Fuck you.”
“Sweetheart, wait—” You cut him off and fear spikes through him. He’s officially going to lose you. He’s going to lose you for good this time and there’s nothing he can do to stop it.
“I loved you.”
“I know, sweetheart, and I love you too—”
“No, you don’t.” You spit. “You love that you had someone who you knew would do anything to just be loved by someone. You don’t love me. You don’t love anyone. You only care about yourself and your status. I doubt you even care about your friends.”
“Y/N, please.” He feels his face warming. He feels his own tears beginning to well up behind his eyes. “Please, don’t leave. Just let me— let me fix this.” You’re backing away from him, and he’s following you. He’s trying to get you to stop, but you won’t and he knows he can’t stop you this time.
“You can’t fix this one, Yoon Jeonghan.” You sniff, wiping your nose a bit. “Don’t— don’t talk to me again. Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Don’t fucking talk to me. I fucking hate you.”
And I hate that I hate
That you’re happy without me
And I pray and I pray
I want you to regret more than I do
If you loved me
I just hate that you’re happy
~
TAGLIST: @woofie-nctzen-fanarts-320 @dearlyjin @joenghanieee @mikachu-chu @listxn @youre-on-your-ownkid @ti--red @springdaybreaks @momoxxchewz @rum-gone-why @everyoneluvscheol @dr3aluv5 @stfuayu
#itsbeeble#itsbeeble masterlist#kpop#kpop imagines#kpop angst#seventeen#seventeen imagines#seventeen angst#seventeen smut#seventeen yoon jeonghan#yoon jeonghan#jeonghan imagines#jeonghan angst#yoon jeonghan angst#yoon jeonghan smut#jeonghan smut
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Sour
Summary: Your story began with sour candies, and it’ll end just the same
Genre: Smut, angst
WC: ~1.9k
Pairing: song mingi x afab!reader
Warnings: small smut scene, Mingi is horny tbh, hurt and no comfort, alcohol mentions (wooyoung is drunk)
ALL PARTS: pt 1: Sour | pt 2: Bittersweet | pt 3: Tangy | true ending | alt ending
Your story began in a convenience store, over a bag of sour candy. It was a Sunday night, the day before your finals began during freshman year of college. You’d shared a class together, Calculus, but never shared a word amongst each other. That night you in the convenience store had sparked…something. Something that even you weren’t quite sure about.
You’d been in your pajamas, just sweatpants and a sweatshirt with your hair tied back so you looked somewhat presentable to the public roaming the streets at the stroke of midnight. The straw for your half empty iced Americano rested against your lower lip, your eyes focused on the candies in front of you. He came up beside you, dressed in a tight black shirt and loose cargo pants, saying nothing to let you know he was there until he reached for a pack of sour gummy worms. His deep, gravelly voice startles you out of your thoughts.
“I say go for these,” he says, flicking the package before grabbing it off the shelf. “They taste good, not too sour and not too sweet.” You turned your exhausted gaze to the tall man with fiery hair and headphones half covering his ears. There was a small smile on his lips, one that offered little comfort to you.
“What if I didn’t want something sour?” Mingi just shrugs and begins to walk away.
“Up to you, really. I just figured I’d give you my opinion.” You follow him to the register, the same bag of sour candies in your hands. He glances down at you, his smile growing just slightly as the tired young cashier rings him out, and he waits for you while the cashier rings out your candy.
“Why are you up, anyway,” your fingers rip open that small blue bag easily while you two walk back to the dorm buildings.
“Studying, mostly.”
“Song Mingi?” You say in mock shock. “Studying? I never thought I’d see the day!” The taller boy laughs loudly, and you can’t help but laugh with him. It was true, though. In your class he always had his head down and the professor learned to just leave him alone during everything except exams, where he’d somehow excel. She didn’t need to know that you’d been leaving him a copy of your notes on his desk at the beginning of the next class all semester. In fact, he doesn’t need to know that either.
“Well, I never thought I’d see the girl who leaves me all of her very well organized notes stressing over a final that should be a breeze for her.” He counters, leaning down to you and nudging your shoulder. Your cheeks flush, and you turn your gaze away from him.
“You knew?”
“You do know that I was never actually asleep, right?”
“Coulda fooled me, Mingi.”
“I do appreciate it, though.” You look at him again, and he’s still looking down at you. His arm brushes against yours, but neither feel the urge to drift back away from each other. “I need to repay you, somehow.”
“It’s not a big deal.” You shake your head, and he hums.
~
You probably should’ve known it then. Should’ve known that getting mixed up with Mingi might not have been the best idea you’ve ever had. But fuck, if the way he fucked you didn’t feel like heaven on Earth.
The first time he fucked you, he had your back pinned against his chest, one of his feet planted firmly on his mattress, his hips pounding into you from behind. His hands pinched and tugged at your erect nipples, his face tucked into your neck as he sucked dark marks into your skin. Broken moans fell from your lips, your vision swimming with pleasure that built itself up and up, seeming to never stop. Your warm walls fluttered around his cock, squeezing him tightly every time he pulled his hips back only to thrust back into you harder and faster than he had been.
Your hair stuck to your skin, your hands flailing and reaching for something, anything to hold onto to ground yourself. One of your hands fell to his hair, gripping it tightly and forcing a low groan from his throat. He pulls away from your neck, lips finding your own and you can taste the hint of sour gummies on his tongue when you suck it into your mouth. You let him lick into your mouth, practically shoving his tongue down your throat with how furiously he kissed you, but you didn’t mind.
You probably enjoyed it a bit too much, his cock abusing that spongey spot inside of you, his heavy balls slapping against your ass, one of his hands slipping down to play with your clit. The stimulation is enough to send you over the edge, spasming around him and crying out against his lips. His orgasm arrives soon after your own, thick ropes of warm cum spilling against your walls and spilling out of you while he continues to fuck you until the overstimulation becomes too much for you.
~
It becomes a regular thing for you both, fucking each other whenever you get the chance. You both have become…something that you can’t quite name. Not quite exclusive, but not fucking anyone other than each other throughout the next few years. It confuses you, to say the least, the fact that you’re both beginning your senior year in college and still don’t have a label.
Although now, as you sit with your body splayed across his lap and a bag of sour candies being shared between you two at a party neither of you could care less about and your fingers tangled in his bark hair, you can’t find yourself caring. Not when the kisses he places against your throat have your body thrumming with arousal. He doesn’t care that your friends are right in front of you, doesn’t care that Hongjoong keeps trying to get him to keep his hands to himself. All he sees, feels, hears, smells, and tastes is you. All he cares about is you, and the way you’re running your hand up and down his toned arm.
“You two,” Wooyoung slurs with a plastic cup in his hand. “Are kinda gross.” He squints at you, pouting when he notices that neither of you are really paying attention to him. Your peer over at him, an eyebrow raised as he stumbles to the couch and sits next to San. You feel your eyes starting to flutter when Mingi sucks at a spot underneath your ear, your grip on his arm tightening a bit. You feel him smile against your skin.
“Mingi,” Seonghwa’s voice is sharp. His eyes are narrowed as he looks at you both. Anger. Is that what the emotion is? The emotion in his eyes, his fists tightening at his sides. Yunho sits next to him, more uncomfortable than angry. “Can I talk to you for a second?” Your…lover? Friend? Partner? Whatever he is. He sighs against you, reluctantly pulling himself away from your skin and sliding you off of his lap to follow Seonghwa and Yunho further into the house.
~
That should’ve been your first warning for the night.
The second should’ve been Hongjoong’s pitying look toward you every few moments while you talk with Jongho about one of the classes you share, the excitement for your final year in college.
Your third and final warning, the one you listened to.
“I’m glad Mingi won the bet.”
All eyes turn to Wooyoung, the drunken man completely unbothered by his sudden declaration. There’s a mixture of emotions now. Confusion on your behalf, panic on everyone else’s.
“What?” Hongjoong tries to shush the younger boy, but he’s persistent.
“The bet!” He chirps. “You know, if Mingi got you to sleep with him, then he’d get $100 from each of us? Didn’t he tell you?”
It’s like the whole room goes silent. You feel the tears welling up in your eyes. You feel the horror and the realization setting in as you figure out what exactly Wooyoung just told you. What your friends had been hiding for so long. Though, could you really call them your friends now? Now that they’ve told you the truth?
Your eyes search the house for Mingi, and you find him already looking at you. You can’t read the emotions in his eyes, but you can see him gnawing at his lip and his eyebrows furrowing while Seonghwa yells at him about something. It makes sense now. Why he didn’t want to put a label on you two.
In hind sight, you should’ve seen it. Although, how could you have? He always seemed like a nice guy. Always helped you if you were struggling with something, always brought you those stupid fucking sour gummies. You were completely blinded by the idea of someone showing you true affection for once that you couldn’t see the pity behind his friends’ eyes.
~
“Y/N.”
You don’t turn around when he calls your name. His voice cracks and trembles when he speaks. You can’t help but scoff, but you put on a brave face before you turn around. You plaster a smile onto your lips, your wipe the tears away from your eyes and pray that you can hold yourself together long enough to talk to him and get out of there, to take your car and run far, far away.
“I’m sorry.” He takes a step toward you, but the step you take back makes his stumble and freeze in his place. His hands are shaking, a far cry from the confidence he always seems to radiate.
“It’s okay,” you force the words out, digging the nail of your thumb into your palm to keep the tears back. “I’m not mad.” You see him clench his jaw, see him start to stretch his hand out to you.
“You should be.”
“You’re right.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying that.” The tears are starting to well up again and you take a deep breath, turning your gaze away from him. “At least you got a good fuck out of all this, you know?” The laugh you let out turns into a sob, and you put a hand over your mouth to muffle it, to try and calm your breathing enough to continue speaking. Mingi takes another step forward, and then another, grabbing onto your hand before you can get too far from him.
“That’s not— that isn’t why I did this!” You stare at him in disbelief.
“So why then? Why did you make the bet in the first place?” There’s no answer from him, and you bite down on your tongue. You pull your hand out of his grip, and he lets you walk away.
There’s a sour feeling boiling in your gut, and as soon as your car door shuts, you allow it to spill over. The sobs free themselves, and you let the tears run down your cheeks.
A breakdown. One you’ll have to handle on your own this time. No one to bring over snacks and drinks while you watch stupid movies and cuddle on your couch. No friends to fall back on when you need help. Nothing.
You’re back at the beginning again.
Alone.
#kpop#kpop imagines#kpop angst#kpop smut#ateez#ateez imagines#ateez angst#ateez smut#ateez x reader#ateez mingi#ateez mingi x reader#itsbeeble#itsbeeble masterlist#song mingi#mingi smut#mingi imagines#song mingi imagines#song mingi angst#mingi angst
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Salty and Sweet (Sour: true ending)
Summary: A final confrontation, a final chance. You've made your choice, but how might others feel about it?
Genre: Angst, fluff, smut
WC: 4.1k (oops)
Pairings: song mingi x afab!reader, jung wooyoung x afab!reader
Notes: First off THANK YOU ALL FOR 200 FOLLOWERS ILYSM!!! Second! Thank you for sticking with this little series and being so supportive! This is the final part, and I hope you all enjoy it! Warnings are under the cut!
ALL PARTS: pt 1: Sour | pt 2: Bittersweet | pt 3: Tangy | true ending | alt ending
Warnings: Mentions of blood, Mingi and Wooyoung fight (physical), very suggestive at the beginning!!!, hair pulling, minor choking, oral (m and fem receiving), degradation, unprotected sex (don't take after their example! Stay safe kids!), breast play, creampie, minor marking I think, rough sex. I think that's it but lemme know if I missed something!!
~
You can feel him watching you. Across the room, tucked in a corner. He’s watching you and Wooyoung talk to each other, get closer to each other. You know he watches Wooyoung’s hand brush your arm. You don’t look at him, though. You keep your gaze on the man in front of you, chills running up your arm where he touches you.
“You’re extra flirtatious tonight,” you comment softly, just barely audible to the two of you over the pulsing base coming from the speakers. Wooyoung smiles and leans down to you.
“Am I now?” His breath fans the side of your face, and you can’t help the way you lean into him when he pulls back. A quiet laugh, and you tuck your chin down out of embarrassment.
She’s already moving on?
What a fucking bitch.
I’m glad Mingi finally saw that she wasn’t worth it.
Your heart lurches, you blink back the tears in your eyes. Four months later, and you’re still the talk of the university. Four months of whispers, of jeers, of Mingi letting people believe that you were the villain of this story. Oh, how you’d like to tell them the truth. That you were nothing but a bet to him, and you were able to accept that and move on when he wouldn’t.
“Hey,” Wooyoung slips a finger under your chin, tilting your head up so you would look at him. “Ignore them. They’re not worth your time or energy anymore.”
“You make it sound like they were worth my time in the first place.” He smiles. “Besides, I have someone to focus my…energy on.” A quirk of his eyebrow, a sly smirk.
“And who might that be?” He’s leaning towards you, and you back up knowing he’d follow you. He follows you until you’ve backed yourself against the wall and he’s close enough that you can feel the gentle brushes of his breath on your cheek.
“Curious, are you?” His hands are on your hips, thumbs running circles against the clothed skin.
“Just a bit.” His lips are brushing against yours under the flashing lights, casting shadows around the two of you. If anyone really notices the two of you, they don’t say anything. Or maybe they do, and they just choose to move on. Too drunk to care, to high to figure out what’s really happening.
The first light press of his lips against yours has you swimming with emotions. It’s quick, not quite hesitant but not quite confident. Testing the waters, not rushing into it like you had with Mingi. It’s experimental, testing to see if you’d pull away or pull him closer. You like the way his lips taste. He tastes sweet, like cherries. There’s a slight salty taste to his lips, as well as lime from the shots he’d taken earlier and you can’t help but crave more.
The second kiss is deeper, and you decide on the latter, grabbing onto his jacket. His lips move smoothly against yours, and his hands squeeze against your hips, digging into your skirt and tugging you toward him. You’re both growing desperate for each other. The days you’ve spent together, the subtle comments and fleeting touches building up to now.
His lips part, and you feel his tongue prodding at your lip, a light encouragement for you to let him in. To let him taste you. And you do, your mouth opening bit by bit until he can slip his tongue into your mouth. You relish in the feeling of his tongue licking into you. Sliding against your own, brushing against the roof of your mouth, and pushing itself as far back as it can reach. Wooyoung wants to taste all of you, you can feel it in the way he chases your lips every time you pull back for air. When one of his hands comes to rest on the back of your neck. A soft moan escapes you, and you feel him smile against your lips. Your senses feel both heightened and muted, the feeling of Wooyoung kissing you beginning to overwhelm you.
When he finally pulls away from you, he doesn’t go far. You don’t let him go. You hold onto his biceps, your nose brushing against his while you catch your breath.
“Have I told you,” he breathes out, “that you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen?”
“Wouldn’t hurt for you to say it one more time.”
His lips press against yours one more time, and then you’re being pulled away from the wall and against his body. You ignore the dirty looks you receive. Wooyoung is the only one that matters right now. Not the petty girls who begin to spread their rumors again. Not Mingi, who glares at the two being so absorbed in one another in the middle of the party he’d invited you to. Not that either of you were aware of that. You’d presumed it was Seonghwa, one of the few you kept in contact with.
“Here, or home?” Home is the apartment he shares with Jongho and San after moving out, getting away from their old friends. Away from Mingi, and the picking of sides.
Another breathless kiss is placed against Wooyoung’s lips, and then he’s torn away from you and thrown to the floor with a tall, muscular figure pouncing on him immediately.
The crowd erupts into shocked yells. A circle forms, no one daring to interrupt the the two. Wooyoung flips Mingi onto his back, yelling something that you can’t hear. You know he isn’t fighting back. You can see him just holding Mingi’s shirt, trying and failing to dodge the fists that fly up. San pushes past you, Jongho, Yeosang, and Yunho following quickly after to separate the two.
“You think you can go after my girl like that?” Mingi yells, eyeing you when you get closer. Glaring at you when you cling to Wooyoung’s side instead of his.
“She stopped being your girl the moment you made that bet, jackass,” Wooyoung snarls. There’s blood dripping down the side of his face. Your hands shake at your sides, terror and anger filling your body and nearly overwhelming you.
A bet?
He made a bet about her?
What an asshole.
How could she not have known?
Poor girl…
“That’s not true and you know it!” Mingi comes closer, but Yeosang pushes him back, muttering to stop. “You know that I claimed her. You fucking her won’t change a goddamn thing, Jung Wooyoung.”
“You didn’t claim shit! You can’t fucking claim a person, Mingi! Do you know how fucked up you sound? Do you even understand what you’re saying?” Wooyoung’s hand wraps around yours, his thumb rubbing the back of your hand despite how badly you know they ache.
“I get it now,” Mingi sneers and glares down at you. “She probably fucked you while we were together, didn’t you Y/N? You’re a fucking slut—”
Your hand collides with his face before you even recognize that you’ve left Wooyoung’s side. Gasps and yells rise from the crowd.
Did she just hit him?
I didn’t think she had it in her!
I would hate to be any of them right now…
“How…” your voice trembles when you speak and Mingi looks down at the ground like a kicked puppy. “Fucking dare you accuse me of that. How dare you assume I was anything but loyal to you for the full three years you refused to “claim” me as your own.” Your fingers formed quotes in the air. The house has gotten quiet.
“Y/N,” Wooyoung reaches for you and San pushes him back with a shake of his head.
“Wooyoung was the only one who was honest with me. He was the only one that had the balls to realize that what you all did to me was awful and cruel and just fucking evil. You have let people run around this campus, spreading rumors that I cheated on you, that I slept with all of your friends, that I did some awful shit to you and you didn’t even try to deny it!”
He did that?
I knew something was up with him!
“Oh will you all shut the fuck up?” Your gaze flies to the crowd, and you watch people cringe away from you. “Don’t act all fuckin high and mighty now that the truth is out. Go take your horseshit somewhere else, go spread your fucking rumors and stay out of this for once!” People begin to flee immediately after, scurrying out the door and ducking their heads to keep from locking eyes with you.
“Y/N,” Mingi starts, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“Save it, Song Mingi.” You shake your head. He stares at you. “We’re done. I’m so fucking done with you. Don’t come near me again. Don’t talk to me. Don’t approach me, or anyone that i care about. I never want to see you again.”
~
“What you did was stupid.” Wooyoung sits at your desk while you treat the wounds he received. A warm wash cloth touches his face, and you watch him wince.
“I didn’t touch him, if it makes you feel better.” You frown, brushing your fingers lightly over the bruises forming on his face. The blood has been cleaned off of his skin, the cuts bandaged. The bruises…there’s no hiding those. There’s nothing to help them heal.
“It doesn’t.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m kinda sick of you boys saying you’re sorry.” He frowns, wringing his hands in his lap. “I just want you to not do it again, okay?”
“Okay.” You look down at him, and he lets his head fall forward, landing one your stomach. He sits there for a few moments, and you raise your hand to run it through his messy hair. You’re upset, of course, but you can’t help the little smile on your lips.
“Woo…”
You can feel his hands touching your bare leg, where your skirt stops and your bare skin begins. You can feel him pushing his fingers under the tight fabric.
“What?” He lifts his head, a devious look in his eyes when he rests his chin against your stomach.
“Do you really think I want to have sex with you now? After what you did?” He smiles at you, enjoying the way your body tenses the higher his fingers climb.
“It’ll make you feel good~” He sings. “And you won’t have to do anything today!” You run your tongue over your lip, raising an eyebrow at him. He places a light kiss to your stomach, and you feel him pulling you to straddle his hips on your desk chair.
“You think there’s gonna be a next time?” He pouts at your teasing comment, digging his fingers into your sides. You erupt into giggles, trying to pull away from him but he just pulls you closer to him.
“Don’t tease me like that! Not after I was just your brave Prince Charming!” You scoff and he presses a light kiss to your lips, one that you quickly return. When you pull away, you tilt his chin up, forcing him to look you in the in the same way he’d done earlier.
“You promise I don’t have to do anything?” He begins to raise your shirt, hands sliding up your torso and pausing when they reach your breasts.
“Absolutely nothing, baby.” You hum, your fingers tangling in Wooyoung’s hair when he begins to kiss the thing material of your bralette.
“I don’t wanna fuck you in my desk chair. That’s hard to clean.”
“Know from experience?” A hint of scorn in his voice. Not toward you, but at the fact to Mingi got to fuck you in that chair and he didn’t.
“A bit. Why? You jealous?” Wooyoung scoffs, lifting you up and walking you backward to your bed until you’re falling backward onto the mattress.
“Of that asshole? Never.” Your shirt slides over your head, your bralette following. His eyes are gleaming with lust and you can’t help but squirm under his gaze. “After all, he’ll never get to see you like this again. I on the other hand, will get to see this whenever you want me to. Preferably every day.”
You gasp when his lips attach to your neck, to your collarbone, and just above the curve of your breasts. He sucks dark marks into your skin, relishing in the way you’re gasping and whining his name. The quiet Wooyoung… and please… that begin to fall from your lips has him growing harder in his pants. The fact that it’s his name that you’re saying, not Mingi.
His lips finally attach to one of your nipples, his hand coming to squeeze at the neglected one. He mouths at your skin, sucking, kissing, biting and licking. His free hand squishes the two mounds together, both hands tugging and pinching your nipples while he practically suffocates himself between your boobs.
You feel arousal pooling between your thighs and you try to wrap your legs around his waist. To pull him down to grind against your heat and relieve some of the pressure that builds. He pulls away from you when you do so, smirking down at you, at the mess he’s created against your skin.
“When I told you to let me do everything, baby,” Your eyes widen, and he shuffles your body further up the bed. “I meant it.”
He strips you of your skirt and panties without a second thought, staring down at your dripping pussy with a hunger in his eyes. Pure, unadulterated, filthy desire. When you try to close your legs, he’s quick to catch you and spread them open again.
“Don’t— don’t look at me like that,” your voice is weaker than you’d intended it to be. His eyes flick up to look at you again, licking at his lips and smiling again.
“Nervous?”
“No.” You choke on your breath when he lunges forward, diving into your heat and giving you the first, long lick. His tongue dips briefly into your hole, making your body lurch and a choked moan escape your lips. You cry out when he sucks firmly at your clit, lapping at it immediately after until you’re shaking underneath him. “F-fuck Woo, please!”
“What, baby?” He pulls away from you for just a moment, removing his shirt and undoing his belt before you yank him back down to you, your lips sliding frantically against his. He groans against your lips when you palm at his growing bulge, undoing the button and slowly undoing the zipper so you can slip your hand into his pants. “Fuck, okay baby. I know what you want. Gotta prep you first, though.” You preen against him, your hips jerking when his hand slips down to play with your pussy. Two fingers prod at your entrance, slipping in with surprising ease. He thrusts them into you slowly, curling them when he begins to pull them up.
His whole body goes rigid when you wrap your hand around his hardened cock, his breath coming out in little gasps and his fingers stuttering inside of you despite the way you beg for him to go faster, that you’re almost there.
“Thought you— you were gonna let me do everything?” He chokes out, and your eyes flutter when you look at him.
“C-changed my m-mind.”
Wooyoung’s groans turn into whines and whimpers when you begin to pump his shaft in tandem with his fingers sliding in and out of you. When he picks up speed, curling his fingers to hit that spongey spot inside of you, you pump your hand faster and dig your thumb into the slit. Despite the pleasure you both feel, you try to force yourselves to keep your eyes open. To watch the other receive pleasure.
When you sit up, there’s no way for Wooyoung to stop you. Despite the weak protests he gives you, that he promised you wouldn’t have to do anything, you’re quick to shut him up with a squeeze to his cock. His fingers slip out of you, but you can’t find yourself caring. Not when he looks so angelic, his mouth dropped open in a silent ‘o’, his back arching into you and his abs tightening.
“G-Gonna cum, baby.” He whines. “Fuck, please, ‘m gonna cum baby please—” You tear your hand off of his cock, and he cries out, body jerking at the sudden loss of pleasure. You can see the dark, wet spot forming on his boxers, and finally tug his pants down his legs. His underwear follows soon after, and you finally see his cock. You can’t help the drool that pools in your mouth. It’s long, not too skinny and not too girthy. The tip is curved, and you just know that it’ll hit all the right spots inside of you.
And fuck, do you want it in your mouth.
He can’t even stop you when you bring your mouth down onto him, taking him deep until your nose is pressed against the warm skin of his pelvis, until he can feel himself brushing against the back of your throat. His body trembles when you begin to drag your mouth back up, all in one long, slow suck with your tongue rubbing against the vein on the underside of his cock. An airy moan leaves his lips, one he hadn’t expected from himself.
You begin to leave little kitten licks at the tip of his cock, tongue digging into his slit ever so slightly and relishing in the salty taste that seeps into your mouth from his precum. His hand is tangling in your hair, gripping it tightly but not quite pushing you back down onto him like you’d love for him to do. He’s gentle with you. He’s holding back on you. You want to break him.
“Baby, s-stop.” He chokes out, but his hand finally begins to push you down onto his dick, contradicting what he said. “D-don’t wanna cum yet.” You only suck harder, fingers digging into his thighs when your throat begins to contract around him.
Wooyoung finally manages to yank you off of him, and you can see his chest rising and falling rapidly. He grips your hair tightly, the back of your head stinging from where he pulls on the strands, and your neck tilted backward. You look at him with lust filled eyes, a smirk playing on your lips.
“You don’t know how to listen, do you?” He hisses, his free hand tracing a line down your neck.
“Wanted to— to suck you off,” you breathe out, gasping when his hand finds its place around your throat and squeezes lightly.
“Poor baby,” he croons, “so desperate for cock that she won’t even listen to simple instructions, hm?” When you don’t respond, he squeezes your throat a bit tighter. A weak moan escapes your throat and he scoffs, practically manhandling you so you’re on your stomach with your ass in the air and your legs spread open for him. You can feel him running his hands all over your body, squeezing at your breasts, your waist, your hips, and your thighs.
“Wooyoung,” you whine, wiggling your hips as a means to get him to come closer to you. To fuck you. “Wooyoung, please fuck me.”
“I will, baby,” he coos, and you whine at the first sign of his cock pressing at your entrance. “I will.”
The stretch has you writhing beneath him, having not fucked anyone in months. You whine into the mattress, your eyes rolling back and drool beginning to drool out the side of your mouth. Your hands grip the sheets, almost tears the threads when he finally bottoms out inside of you. He doesn’t wait to start fucking you, his hips immediately setting in at a brutal pace that has you screaming his name, begging him to go faster, to fuck you harder.
His hips clap loudly against your ass, the arousal that drips from you aiding him as he slips in and out of you. His grip on your hips grows tighter when your walls squeeze around his throbbing length, already so close to release. He won’t cum before you though. Not before you’ve had your fill of pleasure, of him.
“So full,” you preen, “So fucking full, Woo, please, fuck me harder!” He doesn’t respond, too fucked out to respond. He complies though, his hips pounding against yours and driving you closer to your oncoming orgasm. You try to slip your hands down to your clit, but he slaps your hand away to replace it with his own.
“You’re not making yourself cum,” he hisses, gripping your hair and yanking you back against his chest. The new angle has your back arching and your jaw dropping. “That’s right, baby, let everyone know how good I’m making you feel. I want you to scream for me.”
And you do. The stimulation of his fingers rubbing harshly at your clit combined with his hips slamming repeatedly into that spongey spot deep inside you has you seeing stars. You slump against his body, unable to keep your body held up. Your orgasm hits you hard, has you reeling and screaming for the man behind you. His lips attach to your neck, sinking his teeth in while his hips stutter and he empties himself inside of you.
When he lays you back down, your arms completely give out, your body slumping against his mattress. He stays upright behind you, cock slowly softening against his thigh. His head is tilted back, his chest rising and falling rapidly. You watch him from where you’re curled up on his bed. He looks ethereal in the dim light of his room, sweat beading on his forehead and the bruises on his face only adding to his current appearance.
~
“So,” Hongjoong sits across from you and Wooyoung in a cafe. You were surprised to see him, honestly. You and Wooyoung had been on a date, three weeks after the night of the party, when the tired music student had stumbled into the same cafe and started a quiet conversation.
“So,” Wooyoung’s hand traces shapes on your thigh, keeping you calm.
“You two are together now?”
“We are.” Wooyoung confirms, a small smile crossign his face.
“Good,” Hongjoong nods. “That’s good. Can’t say I saw it coming, but I’m happy for the two of you. As long as you’re happy together.”
“Thank you, Joong.” You shift in your seat, leaning slightly into Wooyoung’s side. He smiles down at you when you do this, giving your thigh a gentle squeeze.
“How is he?” Woo asks, looking down at his coffee.
“Who? Mingi?” Your boyfriend nods and Hongjoong sighs.
“Not good, to be honest.”
“Oh.”
“He’s isolating himself, won’t let us talk to him.” You furrow your brows and bite at your bottom lip. “He’s heartbroken, I guess. Not that he even deserved a second chance after what he’d been doing after you found out. The rumors, the forced conversations, the fight. He’s lucky we didn’t kick him out of the house.”
“Why didn’t you?” You ask. “Not that I wish you had. Just curious.”
“I get it.” Hongjoong nods and sips at the iced drink in front of him. “Mostly because, despite what he did, he’s still my friend. It sounds fucked up, but he’s always been there for me you know?”
“He’s been there for you, so you have to return the favor.” Wooyoung nods. “Understandable. We won’t judge you for that, despite what he’s done.”
“I know.”
“He’s lucky to have you, Joong.” You comment, and the older man smiles at you. It’s a weak, fragile smile. One on the verge of collapse. “It’ll get better.”
“Will it?”
“It will. I know it will.” A shaky sigh from the man across from you. A sniff. “You have my number if you need anything from us.” Wooyoung looks down at you, his eyes wide with shock. You just shrug at him. “I might hate Mingi, but I don’t hate Hongjoong. The others haven’t bothered to reach out so I can’t say the same for them.”
“Thank you, Y/N.” Hongjoong smiles at you and looks down at his lap right after. “You don’t have to, though. Not after everything he put you through.”
“Not for him,” you shake your head. “For you, for Seonghwa and Yunho and Yeosang. You four deserve it.”
He looks at you one more time, but he doesn't say anything else to you.
Content. Closure. You smile to yourself, knowing that even if this year had been a shitshow, you're in a better place than you'd been previously. You're happier, with a good group of friends and a man that loves you and isn't afraid to show it anymore.
Happy. A sweet ending to a horror story you hadn't known you were in until now.
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Bittersweet (pt 2 of Sour)
Summary: After the unintentional reveal of Mingi’s intentions toward you, everything about him feels bittersweet.
Genre: Angst
WC: ~2.4k
Pairing: song mingi x afab!reader
Warnings: none really. A lot of angst, Wooyoung doing damage control (kinda), a single sex joke I think
ALL PARTS: pt 1: Sour | pt 2: Bittersweet | pt 3: Tangy | true ending | alt ending
Monday rolls around too fast, the rest of your weekend spent holed away in your dorm room. Your roommate, Ryujin, did her best to comfort you, to keep people out. To keep them out. You had let your phone die the night of the party, ignoring the hundreds of texts and calls you’d received that same night. When you’d finally plugged it in Sunday morning, you made it a point to block each of their numbers. All eight of them.
You don’t go to your first class, the one you share with Jongho. You don’t go to the one after that, the one you share with Mingi, San, Wooyoung, and Yeosang. Nor do you go to the one you share with Seonghwa, Yunho, and Hongjoong. You stay in your dorm room, curled up under your blankets with the curtains shut and the lights off. You let the silence be your comfort for the time being, at least until Ryujin comes back with your dinner.
There’s a knock at your door. One, two, three slow knocks. You know it isn’t Ryujin. She has a key and she would just come in without warning. That leaves only a handful of people, none of which you want to see.
“Y/N,” Wooyoung’s voice is quiet and muffled, much unlike his usual tone. You’re almost surprised he was the first to try to speak to you. “Can you open the door?” You pull your blanket further over your head, squeezing your eyes shut. “I’m— we’re sorry. We’re really sorry. Just…just please talk to us? Talk to me at least?” Your heart begins to pound, a lump forming in your throat. He sounds…sad. He’s been sad, of course, but he’s never sounded sad. Always trying to make other people laugh before receiving comfort. But now…there’s nothing for the two of you to laugh about. He could laugh at you, of course. You’ve been the victim of their sick joke for three years now, and you had no idea.
“Y/N, I just…I want you to know that he never intended to hurt you like this. I know that…I know that it doesn’t seem like it, and I know it doesn’t make sense, but he really cares about you. He always has. This was never a game to him. You were never a game to him.”
You wonder if he’s lying to you. Wonder if he’s just trying to win back your trust, try to get you to open the door only to laugh right in your face and make a joke out of you once more.
There’s silence now, and you assume he left, giving up on you. You feel the tears on your cheeks now, feel them sliding across your cheek, to your nose and onto your pillow. You bring your sleeve-covered hand to your mouth and bite down, muffling your sobs as best you can.
You knew it would hurt more after the fact.
You just didn’t know it would hit you like a tidal wave.
~
“Hey,” Ryujin shoves your shoulder, jolting you from sleep. The smell of fried chicken wafts through the air, reaching your nose and forcing you to peek your eyes open. She’s frowning down at you, a plastic bag of takeout in her hand. “You hungry?”
“A little.” She hums and goes to sit on her bed, unlacing her sneakers and kicking them onto the floor. You push yourself into a seated position, rubbing the sleep and the dried tears from your eyes. The lights are on now, creating a harsh glare that makes you squint.
“You think you’ll drop his shit off tomorrow?” Ryujin is looking at you now, her hands resting on the mattress beside her. “Like his sweatshirts, the trinkets, shit like that?” You shrug. “You’ll have to at some point.”
“I know.”
“Want me to go with you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Okay.” She passes you a box and a fork. “Eat up, think on it. If we don’t do it tomorrow, I’m free Thursday if you want someone with you.”
It’s hard to eat when you’re on the verge of tears. You realize this now, as well as the fact that food tastes bland when you’re crying. You keep your head down, choking down the tasteless food while the tears begin to fall and land on and in the box on your lap. The sniffing follows, and you try to force the sobs back but it begins to hurt.
Ryujin doesn’t say much. She sits across from you, listening to you and not trying to talk to you. You appreciate it. While receiving comfort is nice, it’s sometimes better to just have someone nearby.
Just the knowledge that she cares to stay is enough for you.
~
Tuesday is uneventful. You no longer have tears to cry, your eyes seemingly dried up and sick of you. You continue to lay in bed, moping. Wooyoung comes by again. This time he attempts small jokes, things you used to laugh at. Jongho getting yelled at by Hongjoong for spilling coffee on a canvas. Making fun of someone in your shared class for tripping on the shitty lecture hall stairs.
“It’s boring without you,” he says finally. “We aren’t laughing like we used to. Hongjoong is locking himself up in the studio more, coming out less. San is picking up more shifts at the cafe. Yeosang, too. Jongho spends more time at the gym. Yunho doesn’t cook, and when he does it tastes like shit.” He takes a breath after a second, and you listen carefully. “Seonghwa doesn’t clean anymore, which is funny considering he was always yelling at us about keeping our spaces clean. The house has essentially become one big trash pile.” You note how he doesn’t talk about himself, or about Mingi. You want to know why. You want to know why he is here and the one who started all this isn’t.
“You’re probably wondering why it’s me here, right? Why Mingi hasn’t come to try and talk to you?” There’s a thump against the door, you presume it’s him leaning his head against it. “If we were joking, I would tell you I got the short end of the stick this time around. Granted, it’s my fault this happened. If I hadn’t gotten myself fucked up in the first place, maybe you still wouldn’t have known. Maybe this whole thing wouldn’t have happened, maybe we could’ve forgotten the bet even existed or Mingi would’ve told you. So it’s my fault.”
~
It isn’t. You know it isn’t his fault. Yes, he had been part of it. Yes, he’d neglected to tell you a crucial part of why Mingi had approached you. But, at the end of the day, it’s Mingi’s fault. He didn’t have to take the bet. He could’ve refused. He could’ve told you outright.
Everything seems bittersweet. Every memory you have of college, from your first class with Mingi, to the day of the party. You can’t help but hate the things you once loved about him. His laugh, his gummy smile, the way he carried your things wherever the two of you went, the way he kissed you. All those things are so bitter in your mind.
The convenience store down the road from your campus once held so many good memories. The first time the two of you met, the little trips you’d make whenever one of you couldn’t sleep. Those sour candies used to taste so good to you, but now you can’t bring yourself to even look at the small blue bags.
~
Wednesday. You wake up to Ryujin’s alarm, and force yourself out of bed. You know you have to go to class today, know you’ll have to at some point or you’ll fall behind. You know you can’t do that, not when you’re so close to getting out of here.
There’s a knock at the door. Ryujin groans from where she still lays in bed, and you sigh knowing you’re gonna have to answer it.
And boy, do you regret doing that.
“Mingi,” you choke out. He blinks down at you, mouth partially open and eyes filled with disbelief. “What are you doing here?”
“I— I wanted to see you.” He stutters, hands clenching around the papers he’d been holding. “You weren’t in our— your classes yesterday so I wanted to bring you these.” He shoves the papers forward. Notes. Organized in the same way you’d done for him these past few years, little doodles and notes scattered across the slightly wrinkled pages. “I tried to— to keep them neat, like yours. I hope they’re okay.”
You don’t say anything for a few moments, just staring down at these notes. These stupid fucking notes that shouldn’t affect you like they are, that shouldn’t make you want to go crawling back to him like you want to.
“Thank you.” You say numbly, your voice trembling slightly but you blame it on the early morning fatigue. There’s a tiny spark of hope on his face, his eyes twinkling slightly. “Please leave now.”
And just like that, the hope he’d had for just a few moments is completely crushed.
~
Mingi knows it’s his fault. Knows he can’t blame you when you shut the door in his face. He should be happy you didn’t slam it the second you saw his face, and he’s forever grateful that you didn’t.
He pushes a few loose strands of his fiery hair out of his face, shoulders slumping forward while he makes his way to the exit of the building. The warm air of mid-September hits him hard, and his nose scrunches while he adjusts.
“Did you really think she was gonna forgive you?” Jongho stands to his left, leaning back against the brick wall of your dorm building.
“What are you doing here, Jongho?” The younger boy shrugs and pulls himself off the wall.
“Making sure you didn’t do anything stupid.” There’s a pause and Jongho corrects himself. “At least, not again.”
“I get it,” Mingi snaps. “I fucked up.”
“You did more than fuck up, Mingi. You ruined her.” Jongho’s eyes are narrowed, and Mingi has to take sharp breaths to keep himself from lashing out. “What do you think is gonna happen with her now? She doesn’t trust any of us, the people she considered to be her best friends up until Wooyoung told her what you did because you didn’t. She’s going to isolate herself, Mingi. She’s going to decide that she hates you, and then you’ll never be able to reverse the damage you did. The damage we all did.”
“What do you expect me to do, Jongho?” Mingi huffs and Jongho shrugs. Of course the younger boy would come here and bitch at him, but not offer a solution. He’s on his own this time. He has to fix this himself and he isn’t quite sure where to begin.
“Fix it. I don’t want to lose my best friend because you’re a fucking asshole.”
~
Surprisingly, you go a full week without any of them trying to talk to you in person. It’s a week of whispers and piteous looks. A week of judgement. A week of wanting to kill anyone and everyone around you except for Ryujin and her friends.
“How long do you think it’ll be before he tries to get the boys to apologize?” Ryujin stabs a fork into her cafeteria salad. You shrug, resting your head on the palm of your hand.
“I hope he doesn’t.” Yuna says bluntly, “he doesn’t deserve any type of forgiveness from you. I don’t care how good he fucked you while you were together.”
“Technically,” you say, “we weren’t together.”
“He never asked you to be his girlfriend?” Yeji’s jaw drops and you shake your head. “And you still held onto him for three years?”
It’s silly, thinking about it now. You’d been looking for something secure, and he’d given you that for a while, but it hadn’t been enough. You couldn’t claim him faithful to you, because you were never together. And yet…you tried to remain as faithful to him as possible. A part of you had hoped that he’d ask you to be his, to make it official. A part of you didn’t care for the labels, or the technicalities, or anything like that. You just wanted him to tell you that he was yours, and you were his. Just that would’ve been enough for you.
“Don’t give her a hard time,” Lia scolded. “You would’ve done the same thing.”
“Not for three years though,” Chaeryoung frowned. “At that point I would’ve asked him how serious he actually was, and whether he actually wanted to be with me or not.”
“I did, a few times.” You defend yourself. “And he always said that I was the only one he wanted.”
“But he never made it explicitly clear that you were together?” Lia scoffed. “Fucking loser. All of them, not just him.”
“I dunno…” You shrug again and run your tongue over your lower lip. “They were my friends, at one point or another. That much, I know.”
You’re watching them together. Watching them cram together at one table in the university’s dining hall. They aren’t boisterous as they usually are. They aren’t laughing and yelling and throwing things at each other. They sit quietly, hardly talking to each other. Every now and again, one of them will look in your direction for a brief moment and lock eyes with you, looking away immediately after.
But not Mingi.
He didn’t look at you even once.
You see the sour candy on the table in front of him, unopened and untouched. The blue bag seems to be mocking you, even from across the room. You look away before you feel the tears well up, returning to your table’s new conversation. A party on Friday, one that Ryujin is forcing all of you to go to.
You don’t see Mingi look up at you as soon as you look away, or the way Seonghwa has to stop him from getting up from the table and approaching you.
TAGS: @kpopnightingale @atinytinaa @vserenia @atinyreads @marsstarxhwa @babiestarrcandy
#itsbeeble#itsbeeble masterlist#kpop#kpop imagines#kpop angst#ateez#ateez x reader#ateez imagines#ateez mingi#song mingi#mingi x reader#song mingi x reader#ateez angst#ateez smut#kpop smut
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Tangy (Sour pt 3)
Summary: After another party, the rumor has spread of you and Mingi’s... breakup. What happens when certain people want to make amends? What happens when some want more than that?
Genre: Angst, fluff
WC: 2.4k
Pairings: song mingi x afab!reader, jung wooyoung x afab!reader
Warnings: Mingi is incredibly toxic, minor slutshaming but really minor, swearing, Wooyoung stops bad shit from happening, mentions of alcohol, hurt w/ comfort this time!
Note: I’m really glad you guys are liking this series! Originally it was supposed to be one part, but I was feeling just a bit silly and now there’s gonna be one or two more after this. I hope you guys enjoy!!
ALL PARTS: pt 1: Sour | pt 2: Bittersweet | pt 3: Tangy | true ending | alt ending
~~~~
It’s Friday night, and the air is cooler than any of you had expected. Quite unfortunate for the should’ve-been-backyard party at Sigma Zeta Tau. You find yourself huddled in the corner of the large living room, a cup of something clutched tightly in your hand and hugged to your chest. You can’t help the discomfort you feel, alone in a crowded room with none of your friends in sight. It feels like there’s nowhere for you to run off to, feels like there’s no room to breathe even though there’s no one near you at the moment.
The air becomes stuffy as soon as you hear a high-pitched laugh from somewhere across the room. You know it’s Wooyoung, likely already drunk. You can see them by the table lined with drinks, talking and laughing as if nothing ever happened. Maybe Wooyoung lied to you. Maybe they didn’t miss you as much as he said they did. Maybe you should leave.
The hand holding your drink tightens, and your knuckles become white. There’s no way Ryujin didn’t know they’d be here. There’s no way they didn’t know you were here.
Had you looked closer, had you been closer, you would’ve seen the exhaustion in their eyes, weighing on their bones. You would’ve seen that Wooyoung had forced the laugh when Vernon made a joke about how you arrived without them for once, thus informing them that you were somewhere in the building. You would’ve seen Mingi scanning the room to find you, failing as you’d managed to hide yourself from the blinding lights the thirteen frat boys had set up hours earlier.
Whispers are beginning to spread like wildfire.
They came separately?
Do you think something happened?
I heard he was only using her to win a bet.
Seriously? That’s so cruel…poor girl.
You tuck your head to your chest, ignoring the stares and comments, and take a small sip of the tangy drink in your hand.
“You’re here?” Your eyes flick up and you find Wooyoung right in front of you, hand clutching a similar cup to your own. Dread begins to build in the pit of your stomach now that he’s right in front of you.
“Wooyoung,” you nod curtly and he takes a deep breath in.
“He hasn’t found you yet,” he shuffles a bit in his spot and tries to look anywhere but at you.
“And how did you find me?” Wooyoung smiles awkwardly.
“You’ve always had a habit of hiding in dark corners.” You nod, and he becomes silent. The music is pounding in your ears, creating a dull ache and a ringing that won’t dissipate. “Can we…” His voice is barely audible, and you look at him. His eyes waver, and under the purple glow, you can see a bit of a shine in them. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Wooyoung,” you shake your head and he squeezes his eyes shut. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t.” He says sharply. Your body jerks, and he’s quick to continue speaking. “Don’t apologize. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for and you know that.”
“Woo…” He smiles at you, a bitter smile that has guilt settling into the pit of your stomach. He turns to walk away from you, and your body moves to grab his wrist before he can go too far. “Tuesday.”
A hopeful glint in his eye and you run your tongue over your lips.
“We’ll talk on Tuesday. The cafe by my dorm after our classes.”
Don’t make me regret this.
~
“What are you playing at, Wooyoung?” Seonghwa has the younger boy cornered in the party. Wooyoung simply shrugs and sips at the tangy drink he’d been served.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Talking to Y/N, not telling us you’ve been going to her dorm?” Seonghwa’s glare is scathing, and Wooyoung bites the inside of his cheek. “You know what Mingi’s planning to do. Don’t ruin this for him.”
A pit of rage is forming in Wooyoung’s stomach, and it’s about to boil over. Don’t ruin this for him? Mingi was the one at fault, not him. Why should he step back from trying to get his friend’s trust back? Why should he not try to fix something that shouldn’t have been broken in the first place?
“Don’t pull this bullshit with me, Seonghwa.” He spits out. “All I’m doing is fixing what Mingi fucked up. If he had just told her—”
“Don’t forget that you’re the one who thought of the bet.” Seonghwa hisses. “Did you tell her that? That it was your idea in the first place?”
“Well…no, but I’m—”
“Wooyoung, just leave it be.” The older boy runs a hand down his face. “Mingi wants to fix it on his own terms. At his own pace.”
“And I’m fixing my shit on my terms!” Wooyoung exclaims. “He isn’t the only one she needs to forgive!”
Seonghwa blinks, and then his eyes narrow. Wooyoung swallows, nerves beginning to take over him.
“Why are you doing this, Wooyoung? Why are you trying to screw things up again?”
Truth be told, the younger boy doesn’t know. He doesn’t know why he’s so desperate to have you back in his life, whether or not you’re with Mingi. There’s just been this…ache in his chest, like something is missing ever since he told you the truth (even if he’d been drunk at the time). He doesn’t know if he’s doing it more for Mingi’s sake or for his own.
“I’m not trying to screw things up,” Wooyoung sighs. “I just want her back in our lives. If she’s not with Mingi, fine. That’s good enough for me. If she is, that’s even better. I just…”
When he trails off, there’s a look of sympathy in Seonghwa’s eyes. There’s no more anger, no more scrutinizing glare or judgement.
“We miss her too, Woo.” Seonghwa puts a hand on Wooyoung’s shoulder and pulls him into a half hug. “Just…if you think this is the right thing to do, then do it. And if you can get Jongho in on this, that’d be awesome because he’s making our room absolutely reek of sweat.”
“It isn’t like you’ve been cleaning anyway.”
“I hate you.”
“I know.”
~
Tuesday morning, and you decide it’s finally time to show your face to your shared classes. You know that by now the word has spread that you and Mingi aren’t together anymore. There are rumors as to why. He cheated, you cheated, rumors of the bet, you two got sick of each other, so on and so forth. No solid truth, although you know there will be those that want to pry.
You have three classes today. The first is the one you share with Jongho. The next you share with just Mingi. After that you have one shared with Ryujin, Yuna, and Yeji, as well Seonghwa, Hongjoong, and Yeosang.
Your first class is at 8AM. You dread it, simply put. You dread everything about the class from the time to the people to the professor. As expected, the whispers and the stares begin the moment you step foot in the lecture hall. You feel the heat rushing to your face, and then feel it draining as you try to figure out where in the room you should sit. The room is mostly empty, as there’s twenty minutes until your class starts, but you can’t help but try and figure out which place will create the least staring.
And then you see Jongho. He sits at the back of the hall, staring around the room with a scowl prominent on his face. Whether it’s because of you, or because of the way people are looking at you, or something unrelated, you aren’t exactly sure. What you are sure of, is that you’re grateful for the wave he sends for you to go up to him.
She’s still gonna sit with Mingi’s friends?
I wonder if Mingi was the problem.
Maybe the bet was a lie?
Maybe she’s just a slut, going after each of his friends and that’s why he broke up with her.
Jongho’s lip curls up into a sneer and the whispers stop. The eyes turn away from you, chairs swivelling to face forward once more. You place your bag down on a chair, and take a seat next to the younger boy. Neither of you say anything and neither of you look at each other for a long while.
“I’m sorry,” he mutters to you, eyes foreward and watching your professor drone on. “If it’s any consolation to you.”
You don’t respond, but your pencil stops moving, tapping on the lined paper in front of you while you think.
“I’m not asking you to forgive me,” he continues. “Or any of us. I just want you to know that I am sorry.”
Your pencil begins to move again, this time on one of the sticky notes you have beside you.
It’s okay.
~
You’re terrified of your next class. Terrified to see Mingi again, to see his face and how he reacts to you being there. Will he be happy to see you? Will he hate you now, after shutting the door in his face and hiding from him at the party? Your hands are shaking, and you can’t make them stop.
The whispers start, and you dart to the back of the lecture hall again. Mingi watches you as you try to hide yourself from everyone, and you do your best to avoid him. There’s a small look of hope on his face, a glimmer in his eye that falls as soon as you sit down and duck your head out of his view.
The fiery haired boy twirls the pen in his hand, his heart wrenching when you wouldn’t even look in his direction. He thought, or he hoped, that you’d at least look at him or smile or something after your interaction the past week. Maybe give him a little bit of mercy, show him that you at least still cared about him, but you didn’t.
His jaw clenches and he looks away from you.
After class.
He’ll talk to you then, whether you want to or not.
~
“Y/N!” Your gut wrenches, and you rush to put your stuff in your bag and get out of the room before Mingi can catch you. “Y/N, hey!” You’re moving faster, trying to get to the door, but he catches you by the wrist and spins you to face him. You keep your head down, avoiding his gaze even when he ducks his body and tries to get you to look at him.
“Please let me go.” Your voice is small, a weak request that causes Mingi to inhale sharply.
“Not until you talk to me.” He insists, his grip on your wrist tightening. A dull throb begins under his fingers and you feel tears welling up in your eyes.
“I don’t want to talk to you, Song Mingi.”
“You’re using my full name now?” You look up, frowning. His eyebrows are furrowed together, his lips pursed together. “I thought we were past that by now.”
A joke. A sick joke. That’s what this has to be, right? There’s no way he thinks you’ll be willing to talk to him or be friendly with him after what he did.
“You thought wrong, then.” Your voice shakes more than you’d like it to, but you keep talking and forcing your tears back. “You should rethink everything you know about me, Song Mingi, if you think I’d still want to be friendly with you, that I’d still want to be seen talking with you after what you did.” His grip tightens, and you flinch.
“Y/N, I know you still care about us. About me. So please, let’s just talk about it? We can talk and we can put it behind us, and we can continue where we left off!”
Your wrist is aching, throbbing. He’s holding on so tight that it hurts, and he isn’t letting go.
You’re scared.
“Mingi, let her go.” Your ex-lover’s hand is ripped off of you, and Wooyoung is standing between the two of you. He’s angry, angrier than you’ve ever seen him, and his hand is shaking from a much different emotion than yours had. He’s forcing himself to not hit the man before you.
“What are you doing here, Woo?” Mingi’s teeth are grinding together, and he pulls his hand free from the smaller boy’s grasp.
“Well, see,” Wooyoung steps closer to you and blocks you from Mingi’s view. “I was just passing by, heading to our class, y’know? And I heard a little bit of an argument so, being nosy, I thought I’d see what was going on. Imagine my surprise when I see you cornering your ex against her will and forcing her to talk to you and hurting her while doing so.”
“Woo, stay out of it. Please?” You tug on his shirt and he glances at you over his shoulder.
“No. Even if we all didn’t have history, I would still step in because that’s not fuckin okay, Mingi.”
Mingi’s jaw ticks, and you duck your head down.
“So you’ve forgiven him, but not me?”
“She hasn’t forgiven anyone, Mingi.” Wooyoung snaps. “After what we did to her? You really expect her to forgive us after a fucking week? You’re out of your goddamn mind.” A deep breath, his hands tightening at his sides. You can’t help the awestruck look you give him.
Before everything happened, the two of you hadn’t been the closest of everyone in the group. Of course, you were friends and you always cared about each other and things were never tense if you were alone together, but there had always been something that made him keep his distance. You know now why that is. And you know that, even if he wasn’t your best friend, he’s one of few that would actively try to fix a problem he caused.
“I’m here,” he tries to keep his voice steady. “Because I care about something other than getting my dick wet. I care about my friend. I care about fixing something that was entirely my fault to begin with. And if you can’t get your head out of your ass for two seconds to see that she wasn’t just someone for you to fuck whenever you want, then maybe she shouldn’t give you the second chance you’re so desperate for.”
~
“You didn’t have to say that.”
“Yes I did.”
Wooyoung is already looking at you when you lift your eyes from your notes. There’s a smile on his face. Not overly bright and overly joyous. He isn’t forcing himself to be happy. He’s genuine, he’s happy to be near you and with you. You smile back, looking back at your notebook. You know that the others are looking at you. You know that Ryujin is watching the interaction from the row behind you, waiting for Wooyoung to make one wrong move.
“He was hurting you, Y/N. It’s like I said, even if we didn’t know each other I’d still step in. What he did to you isn’t okay, and he’s lucky I didn’t clock him.”
“I’m pretty sure he’d kick your ass if you tried.” Behind you, you hear a snort and Wooyoung scoffs.
“He would not. I’m stronger than I look.”
“Oh, I’m sure you are, Woo.”
“Whose side are you even on?”
“Mine. The victim. You know, the one you guys placed a bet on.” Wooyoung goes quiet, sinking in his seat. You bite your lip, beating yourself up for bringing it up again. You’d meant it jokingly, but you know now that it’s a bit too soon for those jokes.
“I am sorry, Y/N.”
“I know, Woo.” He looks at you again and you’re leaning back in your chair, looking ahead to the professor. “And I forgive you.”
“So soon?”
“You’re putting effort in,” you shrug. “And even if I don’t fully trust you yet, I know that you at least care and that’s good enough for me. You and Jongho are the only one’s who actively reached out to me, showed that you at least kind of cared.”
“Not even Yunho?”
“Haven’t seen him yet. Haven’t seen any of the other guys, really.”
“San says he wants to go to lunch with you soon. He wanted to text you, but you still have our numbers blocked.” You purse your lips and hum quietly. “He’s willing to wait, though. Until you’re ready.”
“We can go today. After this class, because I know he’s free after 2:15.”
“I’ll let him know now.”
~
“He groveled?” Ryujin falls forward, chest heaving from laughter when you tell her the events of the afternoon with San and Wooyoung. “You have to be kidding!”
“I fucking wish!” You exclaim. “It was so embarrassing, Ryujin! He literally got on his knees and started kissing my shoes!”
That was the truth. As soon as the three of you had sat down at the diner downtown San had gotten onto his hands and knees and started begging you for forgiveness, kissing your shoes and genuinely crying as he did so. Wooyoung had nearly wet himself when he saw that, and you wanted to sink into the ground when people turned to stare at the three of you.
“Oh my god, that’s hilarious.” Ryujin leans herself back onto her hands, still on the floor of your dorm room. “I’m assuming you forgave him?”
“What else was I supposed to do when he did…that?”
“Fair point.”
“What about the others?” You shrug and purse your lips.
“I…I don’t know, to be honest. I haven’t heard from them. Haven’t spoken to them. I know that Woo is avoiding Mingi, so that’s gonna cause some tension.”
“Is that what you want?”
“For them to take sides?”
“For Woo to choose you over his best friend.”
“Not necessarily. It’s weird, honestly. He…he never would have done this a week ago.” Ryujin runs her tongue over her lips and hums. “What?”
“Nothing. Just…Maybe he cares about you more than he was letting on.” You scoff and shake your head.
“You think Wooyoung has a crush on me or something?”
“I mean…”
“Ryujin, that’s crazy.”
“Think about it though!” She jumps to her feet, pacing around the tiny room you share. You frown and lean back in the chair by your desk. “This would be the perfect opportunity for him to actually get close to you! To show you that he’s the one you should be with! But, like, not in a creepy way. In a genuine way.”
~
“You have a WHAT on Y/N?” San’s jaw practically drops to the floor when he hears what his roommate says. Wooyoung has his head in his hands, legs drawn up onto the bed.
“Can you shut up? What if the others hear you?” Wooyoung groans.
“I’m sorry, I’m just…in fucking shock I guess.” San pinches his nose and sighs. “When did you figure this out?”
“A few months ago…”
“Oh fucking christ, Woo.”
“I know.”
“You know this is just gonna make things messy, right?”
“I know.”
“And if Mingi finds out—”
“Jesus— San, I know.” The two seniors sit in silence, contemplating what they’ve been saying to each other.
“So are you gonna tell her or…”
“Oh my god shut the fuck up.”
~
TAGS: @cookiechristie @ryanthesimp4yeo @mixling-blog @woosmaid @avantalem @choichaeyiul @nora-bora-bora @marvelahsobx @vidiviu01 @babiestarrcandy @kpopnightingale
I tried tagging some people but it wasn’t working so if I missed you I’m so sorry!
#itsbeeble#itsbeeble masterlist#kpop#kpop imagines#kpop angst#kpop fluff#kpop scenarios#ateez#ateez imagines#ateez angst#ateez fluff#ateez x reader#ateez mingi#ateez wooyoung#song mingi#song mingi x reader#mingi angst#mingi x reader#jung wooyoung#jung wooyoung x reader#wooyoung x reader
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Sugar Rush (SOUR: alt ending)
Summary: A final confrontation, one final chance. You’ve made your choice. Was it the right one?
Genre: angst, smut, fluff
WC: 3.9k
Pairing: Song Mingi x afab!reader
ALL PARTS: pt 1: Sour | pt 2: Bittersweet | pt 3: Tangy | true ending | alt ending
WARNINGS UNDER CUT
Warnings: obviously angst, mingi being a bit toxic, mentions of alcohol, marking, bit of breast play, protected sex (shocker for me wow), multiple orgasms, a little but of edging, bit of degradation, mingi and the reader both being a bit desperate, begging, mingi lowkey likes it when reader cries for him (while they’re fucking). I think that’s it but let me know if I missed anything!!!
~
You can feel him watching you. Across the room, tucked in a corner. He’s watching you and Wooyoung talk to each other, get closer to each other. You know he watches Wooyoung’s hand brush your arm, rising higher and higher. That’s what you want. You want him to approach you first, to grovel at your feet for forgiveness.
“You forgive him?” Wooyoung has his feet kicked up on the chair across from him, poking at his lip with the straw of his coffee. You nod, picking at the skin around your finger. Then you shake your head. Then you shrug.
“I don’t know, honestly. I’m mad at him, obviously. He treated me like a toy, even after he won the bet. He thought I was something for him to claim, something for him to have whenever he wanted it. He…he hurt me, when he confronted me after class.”
You see your friend’s jaw tighten, see his grip on the drink tighten. You know he doesn’t want to forgive Mingi for what happened, but he knows it is your choice in the end.
“Fine…then we should make a plan. You know, get him to approach you first.”
“Is he watching?” Wooyoung’s face is close to yours now, though the distance remains. You wanted suspicion, but neither of you were going to cross boundaries to get Mingi to notice you.
“Yes…” Your voice is quiet, shaky. You’re nervous. What if this backfires? What if Mingi hates you? What if he hurts Wooyoung?
“Hey, Y/N,” Wooyoung’s hand squeezing your arm brings you back to reality. “It’’ll be fine. Just trust—”
“Y/N.” A deep voice behind Wooyoung and the two of you pull away from each other. Your hands are shaking, the nerves beginning to overtake you. Wooyoung squeezes your hand and smiles.
“Mingi,” you say, turning to face him. You’re almost shocked at how calm he is. You’re almost shocked at the pure exhaustion in his face, at the messy hair and pale skin.
“Can we talk?” You see his hand reaching for you, but he’s quick to force it back down to his side. He isn’t going to force you to talk to him this time. You feel your lips twitch upwards but you’re quick to pin them into a straight line before he can catch it.
“We’ve already talked enough, I think.” He sucks in a deep breath, a crestfallen look crossing his face.
“Y/N, baby,” he shuffles in his spot, unsure of whether to step toward you or stay where he is. “I just…Just give me one more chance. Just let me talk, just this one last time. If you still…If you still feel the same, then I’ll leave you alone for good.”
You feel your own heart breaking all over again. You can see the tears building up in his eyes, see his hands gripping the edge of his tank top, forcing his fingers to stop shaking. You look back at Wooyoung, and he gives you an encouraging smile.
“Fine.”
~
His room is…messier than you remember it being. Maybe it’s because you haven’t been forcing him to clean it whenever you came over. Maybe he hasn’t had time, hasn’t had motivation or energy. Clothes scatter the floor. Old cans of beer pile up in front of his trash can, creating a musty smell. You almost turn your nose up, almost want to choke.
“Please tell me that your blankets, at least, are clean.” You try to joke, and he tries to laugh.
Yikes.
“I…I promise if I’d known you would be here, that you’d talk to me, I would’ve cleaned up.”
“You didn’t think I would say yes?” You look up at him from where you trace a finger across his dusty dresser. Mingi watches you from where he sits on his bed. You look away, instead focusing on the polaroids on his mirror. Ones that you took of him and the boys. Of him. Of you both. You feel tears in your eyes again.
“I figured you’d hit me, to be honest.” You hum in response.
“I should have.”
“I know.”
“I still can.”
“I know.”
More silence falls over you. You don’t know what you feel. You don’t know what you should feel. You could be angry. You could be sad, relieved, happy, scared. You don’t know. It’s confusing you.
“Why did you do it?” You stare at yourself in the mirror. Stare at the crop top you’d worn specifically because you knew he liked it. On the jacket you’d thrown over it. On your dark makeup and curled hair. You look at the posters on his walls, on the blue duvet covering his bed. Anywhere but at him. At the sad eyes that he’s trained on you. At the way he leans forward and laces his fingers together on his knees.
“I don’t know.”
“That’s not a good enough answer, Mingi.” You turn to face him, gnawing on your lip. “You lied to me for months.”
“I didn’t lie to you!” He rises from the bed, taking a step toward you.
“So you’re telling me that the first time you spoke to me wasn’t because you made a bet?” You sneer, and he jerks back. “That you didn’t fuck me to get some money from your friends? That you didn’t pretend to love me for three fucking years just so you could get your dick wet from someone you thought was easy—”
“I never thought that about you,” he snaps. “I never pretended to love you. I didn’t think you were easy, or that you were just a way to get my dick wet, Y/N.”
“Then what was it?” You’re crying now, the tears running down your cheeks and stinging your skin. “Why did— did you do this to me?”
“Y/N, baby,” he takes another step toward you, his hand rising and finding it’s spot on your cheek to dry your tears with his thumb.
“What did— did I do to des— deserve this?”
You let him pull you into him. Let him wrap his arms around your shoulders, mumbling apologies and quiet I love you’s. Your arms grip his tank top, squeezing tightly while he lets you cry.
“You didn’t deserve this, baby,” you can hear his voice trembling still. “You didn’t deserve to be lied to, to be played like a fool.”
“Then why?” Your fists hit his chest, but he doesn’t pull away from you, even when he can feel bruises beginning to form. He deserves this. He deserves worse than this, and he knows it. He knows that he doesn’t even deserve to speak with you, doesn’t deserve to be in the same room let alone look at you.
“Because I’m a fucking idiot who didn’t know right from wrong, who couldn’t understand that he had something good in his life and didn’t know what to do with her.”
You can’t help the sobs that wrack your body. You can’t help the way you cling onto him, seeking that comfort you’d found in him during those three years. You miss him. You wish you could say you didn’t. You wish you could’ve just moved on, gone to Wooyoung instead. He’s better for you, and you asnd Mingi know that. But you know that, in the end, the two of you would just end up pulled back to one another.
~
“I’m sorry that I lied to you, that I made that bet.” He mumbles into your hair.
It’s been a few hours now. A few hours of you crying and him consoling you. The party below you continues to rage on, but the two of you have no intentions of going back down. You’re sitting on his lap, head laying on his chest while he strokes your hair and runs his other hand down your back. Your arms are wrapped around his neck, playing with the hair at the base of his neck.
“I forgive you.”
“No you don’t.” He sighs and you shift in your spot on his thighs. “You shouldn’t say that if you don’t mean it.” Your arms squeeze tighter around his neck and you turn your head to place a gentle kiss to his shoulder. His body tenses against you, his arms squeezing you against him just a little bit harder when you press another kiss to his collarbone, over the fabric of his tank top. Then another to the base of his neck. “Baby…”
“I missed you, Mingi.” Your voice has lost its anger. Lost it’s sadness. Both have been replaced by something you haven’t felt in months.
Lust.
Pure, unadulterated lust.
“Baby, no.” Mingi’s hand rests at the base of your neck, not quite squeezing. Just enough to keep you back from him. You can feel him hardening beneath you, but he holds your hips still with his free hand. “Not now.”
“Why?” Your nails brush against his skull and his eyes flutter back, a shaky exhale leaving him.
“Because I said so.” He lifts you off his lap, setting you down on the mattress beside him. “If we’re gonna…If we’re gonna do this, we’re taking it slow this time.”
You can’t help the warm fluttering feeling in your chest when you look at him. You can’t help pulling him down to lay over you, a grunt leaving his lips when he lands on his wrist so as not to crush you. His eyes are dancing across your face. Moving from your eyes to your nose and cheeks to your lips.
This time, when you try to kiss him, he lets you.
It’s slow, delicate. Testing the waters. He lets you control it, let’s you set your own pace. He doesn’t push his lips into yours, doesn’t let his tongue brush over your lip. He just lets you kiss him for however long you want, in whatever way you want.
He doesn’t want to go too fast. Doesn’t want to lose you when he just got you back.
That thought gets harder and harder to hold onto when your hands drift down to his stomach, slipping under the dark fabric of his shirt. You feel his muscles tense under your featherlight touch. Feel the hard outline of his abs under your fingers.
You’re the first to deepen the kiss, your tongue sweeping out to brush against his lip. A faint touch that he welcomes, parting his lips and allowing you to slip your tongue into his mouth. A groan escapes him when you lift your leg and hook it around his waist, pulling him closer to you while your tongue explores his mouth.
He tastes like sugar. Like he’d just had some candies, or a dessert. It’s addictive, and you crave more. You’re desperate for more.
Mingi’s hand slides up your thigh, the tips of his fingers brushing lightly over the hem of your lace panties. He pulls away from you when he feels them, a string of spit connecting your mouths. When he flips your skirt up, he can’t help the animalistic groan. Can’t help the way his eyes practically roll back.
Black lace, ones that hug your skin and the shape of your ass just perfectly. A pair that had always been his favorite. A spike of jealousy runs through him.
“You wear these for Wooyoung, baby?” He coos. He knows you didn’t. He knows you’d only worn them for him. His hand runs over your covered folds, digging into your clit in a way that has you whining underneath them. “Hm?”
“N-No,” you gasp out, your small hand wrapping around his wrist when he continues to rub harshly at you through the fabric.
“No?” He asks curiously, slipping his fingers beneath the band so he can feel how truly wet you are. His body shudders when he feels his fingers slipping through your folds with ease. “You didn’t wear them so he’d fuck you? So he could tear them off of you and fuck you with his fingers?” As soon as he says this, two of his long fingers slip into you. You gasp and whine at the sudden intrusion, your walls fluttering around him. “You know that he could never reach as far as I can. He doesn’t know your body like I do.”
He watches the way your body twitches underneath him with every thrust of his fingers, his thumb rubbing harshly at your clit in time with each thrust. When he thinks you’re ready, another finger begins to slip into your sopping hole.
“Answer me, baby.” Mingi hisses, but you didn’t even realize he’d asked you a question. You’re too lost in your pleasure, chasing the high that speeds closer and closer. A fourth finger slips into you and you’re crying now, practically screaming his name out. You know people can probably hear you over the music downstairs, but you don’t care. Not with how Mingi’s fingers curl into that spongey spot inside of you, dragging your towards the finish line.
“N-no!” You cry out. “Wore them for you! Wanted you so bad. Wan-wanted you f-for so long. C-couldn’t cum without-out you. Couldn’t cum without your fi-fingers or your c-cock— oh god, Ming-gi I’m so close please~”
Your back arches upward, your hands flailing around and reaching for something, anything to ground yourself on. Mingi can only watch as your body convulses on his hand, can only watch as your juices spill over him and soak his wrist and sheets.
He doesn’t stop until you’re shoving his hand away, dragging your body off his hand. You watch when he exams his fingers, watching the remnants of your arousal drip down his hand before sticking them in his mouth, sucking them clean. Your cheeks flush, and you grip the edge of your skirt tightly, but he keeps his eyes on you. At least, as best he can while he’s eyes are trying to flutter shut just from tasting you after the past few months.
His mind is buzzing, thoughts coming rapidly and disappearing just as soon as they appeared. All he can think about, focus on, feel, and hear is you. You overwhelm his senses, the way your hands drag his shirt up his body, tugging it over his shoulders. The way you lean up, rolling him over and attaching your lips to his neck. The way you begin to suck marks into his skin, the way you drag your nails down his chest, the way you curl into him when his hands squeeze at the soft flesh of your ass.
“Such—” his breath hitches when your hand brushes against his crotch, squeezing lightly at his hardening length. “Fuck, such a good girl for me.” He feels you smile against his skin before you’re leaning up, tugging your shirt over your head and removing your bra. He stops you when you go to remove it. “Leave that on for me, baby.”
Mingi’s hands are running up and down your ass and legs now, brushing against your soaked panties, hovering just long enough to feel the clenching of your pussy beneath his fingers before sliding back down your legs.
“Mingi,” Your body is hovering over his now, your breasts brushing against his chest when you move to kiss him, shivering at the lingering taste of yourself on his tongue. “Mingi, baby, I wanna fuck you,” you purr.
And how could he say no? How could he deny you with the way you grind yourself against his cock, moaning quietly in his ear, digging your nails into his chest as the pressure begins to build inside of you again. His hands take hold on your hips, dragging you over his cock, deep groans beginning to rise in his throat. He’s getting close. Too close. After months without you, without anyone, he’s become weak to your touch.
Your hips are just beginning to stutter, your whines and moans becoming higher in pitch when he rolls you off of him, shoving his pants and boxers down his legs to be kicked to the side, lost in the mess of clothes on his floor. You’re watching him when he tugs your panties down, your skirt left on to cover your aching center.
Mingi watches when your hand slips down to touch yourself, rubbing at your clit while the other squeezes at your breast, twisting and tugging at your nipples. His own hand finds his cock, using the beads of precum that have begun to drip down his length to lubricate himself, squeezing his tip with every jerk of his hand down his cock. He doesn’t let this go on for too long, feeling himself being drawn closer and closer to the edge with every passing second.
“Condom?” He breathes out, already reaching for the drawer next to his bed. You can only nod, barely aware of the question with the way you play with your body. Mingi works quickly, tearing open the foil packet and sliding the rubber down his cock. “Fuck, okay baby.”
Your body is shaking. Shaking from the orgasm you’d hads just minutes ago, shaking from the pleasure that was ripped away from you aand replaced by Mingi’s cock pressing against your entrance.
Even with the prep he’d given you, the stretch of his cock inside of you has your body tensing against Mingi.
“Just relax, baby.” He runs his hand down your side, whispering encouraging words to you. His nose brushes against your cheek, his forehead coming to rest against your own as he presses into you.
“Mingi,” You plead, “‘S too much. Mingi, ‘s too much.” A shaky exhale from his mouth brushes against your cheek when he pauses his motions, waiting for you to give him the okay to move again.
“We’re almost there,” he breathes out, hushing your whines with a soft kiss to your lips. “Almost there, baby.”
When he finally sheaths himself inside of you, he can feel you pulsing around him, feel your body trying to adjust to his size. Your quiet whispers for him to move, the slow rolling of your hips against his own. It’s overwhelming.
He watches your eyes roll back with each shallow thrust. Listens to your whimpers turn into cries of your name when he drives his hips into you faster. Harder. He complies to your every command. Mingi fucks you hard and fast, lifting your hips slightly to drive his cock into that spongey spot inside of you over and over again, listening to you scream his name.
He sees the tears rolling down your cheeks, sees the lines from you mascara and he drives his hips impossibly harder into you. He can’t even make a comment on the tears. Can’t say anything to you. He’s close. He’s so close, and he can feel his hips beginning to stutter. Curses begin to fall from his lips, desperately trying to stave off his own orgasm until you reach your own high. He knows you’ll finish soon. The clenching of your pussy against his cock, the scratches you dig into his shoulders, your teeth sinking into his shoulder to muffle your cries. It’s getting to be too much for you.
When he lifts your legs over his shoulders, practically folding you in half, you know you’re done for.
“Oh f-fuck, M-Min-ngi.” you gasp out. “F-feels s-so-o g-good baby, fu-uck.” You can hear him moaning quietly into your ear, just barely heard over the music downstairs. You can only pray that anyone walking around outside Mingi’s room can’t hear the wet slapping of his hips against yours, the strangled cries and moans that escape you.
“You gonna cum, baby?” He coos. “You gonna cream my cock like a good girl?”
“Y-yes, fuck, g-gonna cum all over your cock baby, please make me cum, I can’t take it anymore!” Your hands find purchase in his dark hair, yanking his head down for you to kiss him, your body shuddering when he shoves his tongue into your mouth. He traces every inch of your wet cavern, catching the scream you release when you finally cum all over his cock. He can feel your juices squirting out, splashing against his tight abs and slipping down his legs.
A loud moan escapes him, becoming slightly higher in pitch as he drives his hips into you a few more times before he reaches his high, cum filling up his condom. He thrusts into you shallowly, milking himself of every last drop.
~
“What does this mean for us?” You’re laying next to him, your head on his chest with his blanket drawn up to cover your naked body. Mingi’s fingers are tangled in your hair.
“What do you mean?” He mumbles.
“Are we…are we together now? Are we just gonna pick up where we left off?”
“I thought it was obvious that I wanted you still.” He turns his head as best he can to look down at you.
“Yeah, but I mean…” you take a deep breath. “Mingi I don’t want to keep doing this if you’re not…if we’re not gonna be, you know, official. Exclusive.” He snorts and there’s a pang in your heart.
“Baby, I thought it was obvious that I wanted you to be my girlfriend.” That pang becomes a warm, fluttering feeling.
“Well…how was I supposed to know? You didn’t make it obvious at all.”
“You’re right.” He rolls onto his side so he can face you properly. You do the same. “Y/N, the love of my life, the blood in my veins—” You smack him and he laughs.
“Don’t be an idiot, Song Mingi.”
“I’m sorry, baby. But…will you do me the great honor of being my girlfriend?” You hum, placing a light kiss to his collarbone.
“Let me think about it.”
“Wha— seriously?” You laugh at the expression on his face and place another kiss to his jaw.
“I’m kidding, Mingi. Of course I will.”
~
“So,” Hongjoong twists the cup of coffee in front of him, running his tongue over his lips. Wooyoung sits across from him, seemingly lost in thought. “How do you feel?” There’s a quiet exhale from the younger boy.
“As long as she’s happy.” Hongjoong frowns.
“You loved her, didn’t you?”
“I think I always will, to be honest. But…I’m not gonna ruin something good just because I can’t handle some little feelings.” Wooyoung looks at the producer, desperately trying to convince himself and his friend that he was okay. That he wasn’t hurt that you chose Mingi over him. He knows that he can’t do that to you. Can’t force you to choose between the two of them.
“You’re a good friend, Woo.” Hongjoong takes a sip of his coffee. “Have you talked to Mingi at all?”
“Not yet. I will after this.”
“Good.”
Good. This is good. He can get over you, find someone else. He can stay friends with you, despite the bitter feelings in his heart. He knows that you’re too sweet to let anyone down. Too sweet to break someone’s heart of your own volition. Had you known Wooyoung was in love with you, he knows that you wouldn’t have chosen Mingi again. He knows you wouldn’t have chosen either of them, too afraid of hurting one or the other. That’s what he loved about you.
You were like a sugar rush. Once he got a taste of you, he couldn’t get enough. He’s waiting. Waiting the rush to end, for him to crash and burn with no one to catch him. But he knows, deep down, that once that crash begins you’ll be there to catch him. You always are.
~
TAGLIST: @cookiechristie @riririyuhn @woosmaid @avantalem @babiestarrcandy @choichaeyiul @nora-bora-bora @marvelahsobx @vidiviu01 @kpopnightingale @ryanthesimp4yeo @svnoohe4rtsmainblog @knucklesdeepmingi @jackinmyarea @mixling-blog @the-universe-is-complicated
#itsbeeble#itsbeeble masterlist#kpop imagines#kpop#kpop angst#kpop smut#ateez#ateez imagines#ateez x reader#ateez mingi#song mingi#song mingi x reader#mingi x reader#song mingi imagines#mingi imagines
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Monochrome Diamonds (pt. 2)
Summary: When Yeonjun sees you in a club, purple lights glowing when they hit your skin, he knows he has to have you.
Genre: Smut, fluff
WC: ~2.3k
Pairing: yeonjun x afab!reader
Warnings: Yeonjun simp moment, soft dom!yeonjun, making out, oral (fem receiving), marking, reader is somewhat possessive at some point
Note: I hope this makes up for whatever I posted last night. I already know it was bad and I plan on editing it sometime soon
pt 1 here
Yeonjun is quick to help you out of the car, taking both of your hands in his own, and helping to keep you steady on your wobbling legs, both from exhaustion and from cumming in his car just moments before.
“You alright?” He asks, a mix of genuine concern and amusement in his voice while you walk into the massive building and enter an elevator.
“Yeah,” you breathe out, gazing around you both in utter amazement. “Yeah, I’m great.” He chuckles, pressing the bottom for the top floor. The silence gives you a moment to really gauge what’s about to happen, and what just happened.
A hot rich man just fingered me in his car.
A hot rich man is about to fuck me in his penthouse.
Holy fuck.
“How rich are you?” You look at him and he laughs.
“I own the whole building if that gives you any insight. I also own the building across the street, and the one to our left.” He runs a hand through his hair, trying to untangle the mess you’d made.
“Oh, so you’re rich rich.” He practically doubles over, a hand on his chest as he laughs. You laugh with him, leaning your head back against the wall of the elevator.
“I like you, Y/N,” he smiles at you.
“I like you too, Yeonjun.”
The elevator dings, the door in front of you opening to a penthouse that must have been three times the size of your apartment. Your jaw drops, and Yeonjun gently tugs you into his home.
“Make yourself at home, I have water, coffee, tea, snacks. Whatever you want.”
“I thought you were gonna fuck me,” he raises an eyebrow at you, but nonetheless the amusement is still there.
“I can still make you comfortable. What kind of men have you been with that don’t make sure you feel comfortable before attempting to fuck you?” You laugh and just shake your head. Yeonjun steps over to you, his eyes narrowed.
“You’d be surprised, Rich Boy.” You lace your fingers behind your back, not looking him in the eye.
“Disgraceful,” he scoffs and takes your chin between two fingers. “Truly. A woman like you should be treated with the utmost care.”
“I bet you say that to everyone, Yeonjun.”
“You’re the first one I’ve taken here, Y/N, whether you believe it or not.” Yeonjun says softly. You blink, barely containing your shock. “I don’t sleep with just anyone.”
“But— but you probably have people lining up to fuck you. You could probably have anyone in the world, so why me?” He shrugs.
“I already told you. I like you.”
A tug on the diamond necklace around his neck, and his lips are on yours again. His hands fall on your hips, and he begins to back you up until you hit the wall behind you. The heels on your feet hardly do anything to get you to his height, and you rise up just a bit to get closer to him. He slides his hands down to your thighs, and then back up to your hips, just barely touching you now. This kiss is slower than the one in the car, he’s taking his time now, no longer rushed by the idea that people may watch the two of you. When you pull away from him for air, he chases your lips, teeth latching onto your lower lip and tugging you back toward him.
When his tongue dips into your mouth, it’s just as slow. He doesn’t fight for dominance over this kiss, but neither do you. It’s a slow dance, and both of you are taking the lead this time, despite the desperation you know you’re both feeling. You want to rush things, want him to take you hard and fast, and you know he will, he’s just waiting for your command.
You pull away from his lips again, quickly moving your head out of the way when he comes back for you. When he opens his mouth to ask why you pulled back, all that comes out is a stuttered gasp. Your lips have connected with the side of his neck, sucking dark marks into the golden skin. His grip on your hips tightens, and he tilts his head to the side to grant you more access. More skin for you to mark in order to claim him as yours. A prize, of sorts, to tell the next person he has that he’s not theirs to keep.
“Y/N,” Yeonjun’s eyes are fluttering, his breaths coming out in quick little gasps. You hum against the column of his throat, slowly moving lower until you’re sinking back onto your heels and placing harsh kisses against his chest. With every button you undo, his hands dig just a little harder into your flesh. You can feel his heart thumping under your touch, feel his chest rising and falling quickly. You’re proud of the affect you’re having on the young man, proud of how he’s crumbling under your touch. “Y/N, please let me touch you again.”
You don’t respond, just pull away from his chest, admiring the marks you’ve left all over him. His eyes have grown impossibly darker, and before you know it, he’s lifting you up off the ground and moving you across the room. You grab onto his shoulders at the sudden motion, your legs wrapping themselves around his slim waist and holding on for dear life.
“Showing off?” You tease, and he raises an eyebrow at you. He’s laying you on the couch now, his leaving your body to remove the shirt he’s wearing, followed by his pants.
“Not quite, my love.” He tugs at the hem of your dress, pushing it up to reveal your dripping center. “You, however, seem to be very eager.” You scoff and squirm when his fingers dip between your thighs, spreading them and lowering his body down.
“You fingered me in your car on the way here,” your voice is airy, a whine escaping you in the middle of your sentence, “excuse me for wanting to continue where we left off.”
“Do I need to remind you that you’re the one who didn’t want me to fuck you in said car?” He looks up at you from between your legs, his breath against your pussy making you gasp.
“True.”
The moment his lips connect with your heat, your back is arching again and your hands are lacing themselves into his hair to tug him closer to you. Quiet moans quickly begin to grow in volume until you’re practically screaming his name.
His tongue runs up and down your folds, alternating between dipping into your hole and lapping at your clit. Your thighs are clamping down on his head, but he doesn’t seem to mind as his teeth graze against your sensitive nub, his tongue moving to lick into you, practically fucking in and out of you at a rapid pace. One of his hands slips off of your thigh, and his thumb begins to drag against your clit.
You feel like you can’t breathe, the pleasure beginning to become overwhelming for your senses. Your vision is spotted with stars, not that you could see anything either way with how your eyes are rolling into the back of your skull. Your jaw hangs open, loud moans and begs for him to not stop coming out almost incoherently. You don’t know if he even understands what you’re saying, can’t tell if he even heard you considering his head is trapped between your thighs.
You can only pray that your tugging on his hair is enough of a warning that you’re about to cum all over the lower half of his face.
The world goes silent when you do, and then your ears are ringing, and your whole body is shaking violently from the force of your second orgasm of the night. He doesn’t pull away from you, even when you begin to jerk away from him from overstimulation. He continues to lick and suck and nip at your aching cunt, as if it’s the last thing he’s ever going to taste, and your third orgasm has you spasming against him before you know it.
When Yeonjun pulls away from you, it isn’t for very long. He’s quick to bring his lips back to yours, your taste lingering on his lips. Your dress is being shoved up your torso, and he pulls away again to watch you lift it over your head, allowing him to finally see you in full. His eyes are filled with lust and adoration as he brings his hands up to palm at your breasts, squeezing them and tugging at your pebbled nipples.
He doesn’t stay distracted for too long, however, and before you know it, he’s prodding at your entrance, slowly beginning to slide himself in. He’s not the biggest you’ve ever had, nor is he the girthiest, but what’s different from the other men you’d slept with was that he knew what he was doing. He didn’t violently thrust himself in and out of you, hitting nowhere that gave you pleasure. He didn’t make you want to fake an orgasm just to finish the experience and leave.
Yeonjung took his time, allowing you to adjust despite the three orgasms he’d given you earlier on. When you gave him the okay to move, he started slowly, watching for any signs of discomfort, and when he found none he picked up his pace, and soon enough his hips were slapping against yours, and your moans began to reach the air around you once more. His hands grabbed at your legs, sliding them over his shoulders, and the sudden change of angle had you seeing stars once more. Your sopping cunt pulsed around him, spasming when he began to hit the spongey spot inside of you again and again and again.
You could hear the quiet grunts Yeonjun let out, the quiet moans that followed and the tremors that went through his body. You had to force your eyes open, near blinded by the pleasure you were receiving, and the sight of him had you whining. His head was tilted back, his jaw dropped open, and his eyes squeezed shut. There were drops of sweat dripping down his forehead, sliding down his neck and you tried to fight the urge to flip him over, to take control, and let him feel the same pleasure as you.
Key word: tried.
He yelped when you sat up suddenly, and your pussy clenched as it tried to regain the feeling of him being inside of you when he slipped out. You were quick to place yourself on top of him, a hand on his chest to keep him from flipping you over again when you slipped him back into you. He was sitting up, arms wrapped around your waist and face shoved into your tits as you bounced on top of him, hips swirling and lifting up and down. He couldn’t fight the urge to lift his hips and meet your own every time you came back down onto him.
Internally, he cringed at the possible state of the once pristine couch you both had likely ruined.
“Close,” you gasped out, the familiar knot in your stomach beginning to form for the fourth time that night. He whined into your chest, biting and sucking at one of your nipples, adding to the already building pressure. “Junnie, I’m so close.” He didn’t respond, his hips beginning to stutter and his moans becoming slightly higher in pitch.
When you reach your high for the fourth and final time, he’s quick to follow, pulling out just barely in time to spurt cum all over your stomach. Thick, heavy globs land on your skin, slowly dripping down and you begin to grow warm at the look on Yeonjun’s face when he pulls away from your chest. Lidded eyes, lips parted with gasping breaths. You lean your head forward, letting your forehead connect softly with your own.
“I meant what I said,” he says to you afterward, sitting on the edge of the tub will you soak in the bath he’d drawn for you. You peer an eye open, looking at him curiously. “When I told you I liked you.”
“What are we, high schoolers?” You smile and he chuckles.
“Maybe,” he brings a finger to your cheek, brushing away a few drops of water. “But it’s true.”
“You stared at me in a club for three hours, and the first thing you said to me was ‘can I buy you a drink’,” you make a face at him. “And then you proceeded to make out with me in your car, finger me in your car, and then fuck me on your really expensive couch.”
“Are you saying you didn’t like it?” He teases.
“No, I liked it very much,” you turn in the tub to face him, sitting up on your knees to be a little less than eye level with him. “But don’t you think we should at least get to know each other before you decide if you like me or not?” He smiles, pats the top of your head and stands from the edge of the tub.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” You question. “What does ‘okay’ mean?”
“We’ll get to know each other.” He promises. “I’ll take you to breakfast tomorrow, and then we can go out.”
“I— okay.” You can’t help the grin that breaks out on your face. “You sure make up your mind quickly.”
“I tend to do that when I see something I like.”
“Idiot.”
#itsbeeble#itsbeeble masterlist#kpop masterlist#kpop imagines#kpop smut#tomorrow x together#tomorrow x together imagines#txt imagines#txt smut#txt#txt yeonjun#choi yeonjun#yeonjun x reader#choi yeonjun x reader
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Adoration (pt. 2)
Summary: Though you’ve only been together for a few months, you and Wonwoo are completely starstruck by each other. Tonight, it really shows
Genre: Smut, a bit of plot, fluff, teeny tiny bit of angst but not really
WC: ~2.4k
Pairing: Jeon Wonwoo x gn!reader (i tried to keep it as gender neutral as possible once again but please let me know if and where i messed up so i can fix it!
Warnings: Wonwoo is still a simp, pet names (you already know), marking, smut, soft dom!Wonwoo, multiple orgasms, oral (reader receiving), that’s all I can think of so lemme know if i missed something
Note: This took WAAAAY longer than it was supposed to bc of finals and then work and then the holidays being right there so this might seem a bit rushed and I apologize!
Part 1 here!!
Wonwoo has you laid back on your bed. Your shirt is completely unbuttoned and yanked down your shoulders and your dress pants have been thrown across the room. This leaves you almost entirely bare for him while the only thing removed from his body is the turtleneck that you’re almost positive is stretched out from how you’d been yanking on it to keep him close to you.
Your hands are clawing at his head as he sucks and bites at your chest, his hot breath causing your nipples to pebble. You let out a gasp when he tugs particularly roughly at one of your nipples, your grip on his hair tightening and you can feel him shudder against you. He moves lower down your body, wet kisses placed down the center of your torso. Wonwoo smiles when you squirm under his touch, his eyes flicking up to look at you.
“My love,” he coos. When you don’t respond, he pinches the skin of your thigh. Your jaw drops open and you gasp at the sudden pain.
“Did you just pinch me?” Your head lifts from your pillow, your brows furrowed. A small smile has found its way to Wonwoo’s lips as he admires you. You look like a complete mess, your hair tangled from when his hands had laced through the strands, pulling you and guiding you. Your neck and chest are completely covered in marks that have only grown darker over time. He can see the goosebumps that rise on your skin as he traces every inch of your body, memorizing every last inch of you as if it’s the last time he’ll ever see you.
“I might have,” He rubs the reddening spot and places a gentle kiss on it right after. “Did it hurt?” You nod a bit, pouting at him. “I’m sorry, my love. Let me make it up to you.”
You watch as he lowers his head down, tugging your underwear down until it got caught on your knees. When he tears them off of you, your body shoots up so you can scold him properly. You’re quick to stop, however, when he gives you a look.
It’s not threatening, per se. It’s more…commanding. Daring, even. Like he wants you to try anything. You grow warm under his gaze and he pushes on your ribcage until you’re lying flat again.
“Just sit back, my love.” He rubs your thighs gently, his large hands casting warmth everywhere they touch. “Let me do everything.”
You feel his breath against you, slowly getting closer and closer and you let your eyes flutter shut when his tongue presses against you. He’s gentle at first, slow. But when he hears that first moan bubble from your lips it’s like a switch is flipped inside of him.
Wonwoo pulls you closer to him, his hands sliding underneath you to prop up the lower half of your body. His tongue presses harder against you, slipping between your folds and dipping into your clenching hole. Your legs are trembling, trying desperately to squeeze together but he just tugs them over his broad shoulders, effectively trapping his head between your thighs. He groans into your warmth and the vibrations shoot through your body. Your jaw drops. Your moans and gasps and cries echo in your bedroom and you can only hope your neighbors can’t hear you. His tongue slips further into you, lapping at you relentlessly like a man starved. Your eyes struggle to remain open, rolling back into your head and your hands are clutching at Wonwoo’s dark hair to pull him impossibly closer to you, chasing your high.
One of your lover’s hands slips from under you, a finger slipping into your hole beside his tongue. A loud moan rips through you, and your back arches when he adds another. Wonwoo scissors them inside of you, listening to the sounds you make to gauge what you like, and what you don’t like. When he thinks he’s stretched you enough, he slowly eases in a third finger. You clench around him, and he slows the pace of his fingers inside of you. Wonwoo pulls his tongue away from you, watching the way your face contorts as he slowly thrusts his three fingers inside of you.
“You alright, my love?” His concern is genuine and you can only purse your lips and nod. The stretch is a lot more than you’re used to, and the sting hasn’t faded yet. Wonwoo can sense it, and he slows his motions to a stop until your face has relaxed fully.
You can feel your upcoming high fading away and whine a bit. Your eyes flutter open and lock with his. You can see the concern behind them, feel the gentle caressing of his hand against your thigh while the three fingers inside of you remain still.
“Are you okay?” He repeats his question, and this time he doesn’t accept your nod. “Verbal response, my love.”
“I’m…” You take a shaky breath, clenching ever so slightly down on his fingers. The motion sends sparks through you and your eyes flutter shut again. “I’m okay. I just— I just needed a second to get used to it.” He hums and you hear him shift. When your eyes open, he’s moving to hover over you with his fingers beginning to shift inside of you. Your legs have fallen on either side of him and you cross your ankles behind his back. “You can move again, Nonu.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure.” Wonwoo’s lips press against yours in a slow kiss. His mouth moves gently over yours, his tongue slipping past your lips to distract you from his fingers beginning to pump in and out of you again. You stipend against him but he just kisses you harder, squeezing your thigh as he works his other hand at an easy pace.
The pleasure slowly begins to return. When you moan into the kiss you’re sharing, it’s loud and he pulls back just so he can hear it clearly. You bite your lip in an attempt to quiet yourself but Wonwoo’s free hand slides against your cheek and his thumb slip between your lips. He uses this little hold on you to pull your jaw down and let your sounds ring in the air.
“That’s it, my love,” he coos, “let me hear you. Let everyone hear how good I’m making you feel.” You clench tightly down on his fingers, your body shaking violently when your orgasm hits you.
It hits hard, your moans becoming cries of your lover’s name. He continues to work his fingers in and out of you, pushing you through your orgasm. He watches your face contort in pleasure, your back arching against him and he can feel his dick twitching in his pants. He’s gnawing at his lip, trying his damned best to keep from shoving his pants down and pushing his cock into you right then and there. He knows he can’t do that. Knows you need a few moments before he can even begin to really fuck you.
When Wonwoo finally pulls his fingers out of you, you’re watching when he slips them into his mouth. Watching as he sucks them clean of you. He’s smirking the whole, moaning at how good you taste. Your hole clenches around nothing, and you whine at the emptiness you feel.
“What, my love?” He asks and begins to undo his belt. “Need me to fuck you? Hm?”
“God, please,” you breathe. “Please fuck me Nonu. Need you so bad. Please please fuck me.” The smirk on his face only grows at your desperation and he gets up from the bed for only long enough to tug his pants and underwear down his legs and kick them to the side. Wonwoo only watches as you gape at him. At his cock. The way it stands proudly, leaking from the tip. “Oh fuck, you’re big.” This draws a laugh from him as he crawls back over to you. He lets you reach forward and wrap your hand around his girth. His eyes squeeze shut as you give an experimental pump down his shaft, your eyes practically bugging out of your head.
“My love,” Wonwoo’s voice trembles as you continue to pump your soft hand up and down. “My love, please.” He’s begging. You look up at him and you tilt your head. His eyes are struggling to open, and his breath is coming out wavered. When you stop moving your hand, his cock is twitching.
“Nonu?” He forces his eyes to open and he looks down at you. “Can you fuck me now?”
“Of course, my love.” He breathes out. “Of course.”
It takes him a moment to find where he put his wallet, digging through it to find the foil packet he just so happened to bring with him tonight. He’s lucky he did, though. Otherwise this all would have stopped a long time ago and you’d both be left on edge until he had left your apartment.
He laces his hands in yours, leaning you back until you’re laying down. Your hands rest on Wonwoo’s chest, running up to his shoulders and resting on the sides of his neck. Your lips purse when he begins to slide himself into you. Just the tip is enough to stretch you out, even with his prior prep.
“Take a breath, my love,” Wonwoo’s voice is strained as he squeezes your hand. Your walls are squeezing him so tightly, the pressure enough to have him wanting to cum right then and there. He wants to pound into you, make you see the same stars as him in this moment. He listens to your breathing. Listens as they go from slightly pained to light and airy as he continues to slowly slide himself into you. He whispers quiet praises to you even after he’s fully engulfed by your warm walls.
“Nonu,” your voice comes out in a whine. “Nonu, please move.” The desperation in your voice. The way your legs squeeze around his waist to pull him impossibly closer to you.
Your eyes roll into the back of your head when he begins to thrust into you. Slowly at first, allowing you to get used to the feeling. And fuck, does it feel good. The drag of his veiny cock against your walls. The press of him hitting that spongy spot inside of you. Your hand pulls him down to you by the back of his neck, your lips crashing against his in a sloppy kiss. It muffles the sounds you make, quiets you, and apparently Wonwoo doesn’t like that. His thumb finds its way into your mouth again, tugging it open so any sound you make rings in the air.
“Don’t muffle yourself,” he’s breathless. “I want you to sing for me, my love.”
You can see the sweat beginning to form on his forehead. He’s moving faster now, his hips slapping wildly against yours but his movements are still sharp and fluid. He repeatedly hits that spot inside you that has you seeing stars again. You’re crying out his name now, begging for him to go faster. Harder. He complies without hesitation.
All he wants is for you to fall apart on his cock. All he wants is for you to see stars, to beg him for more. To cream his cock until you have nothing left to give him. Until you’re completely spent and begging for him to cum.
Your second orgasm of the night arrives faster than the first, hitting you at the speed of a bullet train. The pleasure is blinding and your back arches upwards. You squirm, trying to pull away from Wonwoo as he fucks you through it, his hips seeming to move faster than before. He grabs your waist with both hands the moment he sees your back bend and he holds you up.
He forces himself to sit back on his heels as he fucks you. It takes him a few moments to tear himself away from where he’s sucking another mark into the base of your neck. But the moment he sits back on his heels, his new grip on your waist tightens and he slams himself into you with a new fervor. You’re screaming for him now, and he almost feels bad for the noise complaint you’re going to receive in the morning. For now, though, he’s only focused on the pleasure you both feel.
He can feel himself getting closer. Feel his abdomen tightening, his cock twitching inside of you. His hips begin to stutter, and his thrusts become sloppy.
“Fuck, my love,” His head falls back, heavy breaths and loud grunts falling from his lips the closer he gets. “Gonna cum, baby, fuck.”
You can’t even respond at that point, too far gone and drunk on his cock. You can feel a third orgasm rising, your walls clenching weakly down on Wonwoo’s length as you beg. For what, you’re not sure. Something. Anything to relieve the pressure inside of you that grows and grows and—
The wire that snaps inside of you has you writhing underneath Wonwoo. Your jaw is dropped in a silent scream and your arms thrash on the sheets below you. The pleasure is blinding, and it takes a moment for the ringing in your ears to fade away. You can faintly hear Wonwoo moaning loudly into the air as his hips stutter and he fills the condom with his cum. His hand runs slowly up and down your stomach, your body twitching under his touch.
You don’t know when Wonwoo pulls himself out of you. You don’t know when he runs a bath, or when he picks you up to bring you to your bathroom. You’re only half awake at this point, your body completely spent.
“My love?” Wonwoo’s voice is faint in your ears, even though he’s directly behind you in your tub. He’s washing your body, massaging your body where he knows you’ll be sore. “Y/n, baby. You okay?” You can only hum in response, leaning your head back on his shoulder while he cleans the two of you. You let yourself drift off as he washes your hair, gets rid of all the knots he created.
When you’re conscious again, he’s laying you down in your bed, tucking the blankets around you. Your brows furrow when you see him start to leave, and your hand wraps around his wrist. He turns toward you curiously, his damp hair brushing over his forehead.
“Can you stay?” Your voice is hoarse and you grimace at the sound. Wonwoo smiles and nods.
“Of course I’ll stay.”
#itsbeeble#itsbeeble masterlist#kpop#kpop smut#kpop scenarios#kpop imagines#seventeen#seventeen imagines#seventeen smut#seventeen scenarios#seventeen x reader#seventeen wonwoo#jeon wonwoo#wonwoo x reader#wonwoo smut#wonwoo imagines#wonwoo scenarios
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Merry Bad Ending
Summary: He'd been sent to protect you, to guide you, and keep you on the path the fates had set for you. He knew he couldn't get involved with you, it went against everything he was taught. But he can't help it, can't help but love you no matter the consequences.
Genre: Angst, fluff, Guardian Angel!au, Soulmate!au
Pairing: Lee Hyunjae x fem!reader (feat. oc, Eric, Sunwoo, Sangyeon, and I think that's it)
WC: 8.5k (I'm sorry)
WARNINGS UNDER THE CUT
Warnings: mentions of religion (mainly Christianity); hurt and kinda comfort; age gap (I'm sorry. Reader will be 24 and Hyunjae will appear 25 but is actually a couple thousand years old); major character death; illness; honestly there isn’t a ton of romance it’s just kinda sad (there will still be some); mentions of death; violence; minor injuries; threats of death (Hyunjae gets violent); illness (LOTS OF IT); alcohol mentions and consumption; Idk let me know if I missed something; brief mentions of kind of bad home life; rude friends; swearing; MINORS DNI 18+
Listen to Merry Bad Ending by The Boyz if you want idk
A/N: yall i'm sorry this took so long and I'm sorry if it isn't my best work. I didn't really wanna do anything too romantic for this one, so there's no spice this time bjghsugs. I hope you enjoy it either way!
~
Hyunjae remembered when he was first assigned to you. You were both young— at least, you were. You’d been seven at the time, young, curious, and ready to learn about all the cruel things the world could throw at you. He’d appeared to you in the form of a 25-year-old man. Tall, fluffy brown hair, and a pretty face. He looked so young, and he enjoyed the attention that was drawn to him. He enjoyed seeing the human population watch this young man walk by in black clothes, soaked by the rain as if he hadn’t a care in the world. They weren’t aware of who he was. They didn’t know that he couldn’t feel the cold, couldn’t get sick from the rain that was slowly falling from the clouds above them. It always rained when a Guardian began their assignment. Some religions take the rain as a sign that God is angry with them, but only a few know the truth.
This storm is a goodbye, as the angels will not see their Father or their brethren for a long time. Not until their assignment is fulfilled. Nobody knows where they will be until they are finished. No one except for their Father. Hyunjae hadn’t seen his brother, Sangyeon, in over 600 years. He has no idea where he is, and no idea if he is alive. All he knows is that he is assigned to a bloodline and that he has to care for them all until there is no one left. That can take anywhere from 100 to 1,000 years.
A crack of thunder overhead.
Children run to their yelling parents as rain begins to pour down.
He walks slowly, watching you in your little violet jacket and black rain boots. You sit on the mulch, playing with trucks and ignoring the way your little body is shaking from the cold. Hyunjae sniffs, pushing his sopping wet hair behind his ear as he opens the umbrella in his hand and holds it over you. You don’t notice at first, so focused on that old, yellow toy truck that was covered in stains and rain and all sorts of things that would have your parents yelling for you to put the toy down and play on the swings.
Parents. That’s right. Your parents. They should be here with you, why aren’t they here with you?
“Who are you?” You’re looking at him now, big eyes full of curiosity and caution. Good. Your parents at least taught you not to trust strangers you meet on the street.
Hyunjae takes a moment to think. Should he introduce himself yet? Should he tell you his human name or the name his Father gave him?
“My name is Hyunjae,” he flashes a smile at you. Angelic, stunning, everything an angel should be. Your mouth parts in awe. That dopey little lip part that children get when they’re stunned by something. “What are you doing out here all on your own, little bug?”
“I’m waiting for my mommy. She said she would be here soon!” You smile brightly and continue playing with the truck. Hyunjae frowns.
“When was that?” You shrug.
“I dunno. Before school.”
“And…when was school?” You scowl at him.
“You sure ask a lot of questions, Mister Hyunjae.” Your lack of trust is amusing. Hyunjae crouches down, making sure that the umbrella stays over your head.
“You don’t ask enough, little bug.”
“Why are you calling me a bug?” You turn towards him finally, crossing your legs and folding your hands neatly on your lap. “Bugs are gross, Mister.” He laughs and you crack a smile.
“Bugs aren’t gross, silly.” He lifts his arms, his hand palm-side down. When he flips his hand over, there’s a butterfly on his fingers, fluttering its wings and waiting to fly. “At least, not all of them. This butterfly is fairly beautiful, don’t you think?”
Your eyes are wide with amazement, and he watches you try to do what he did.
“How did you do that!?” You cry. “That’s so cool!”
“Maybe one day I’ll teach you, little bug.” He pats your head, and you beam at him. The butterfly drifts from his finger, and Hyunjae shifts so you can’t see the small, beautiful creature struggle to reach the large oak tree behind you.
~
You’re nine now. Two years, and yet somehow he’s never seen your parents. He’s watched every day as you leave your house and trudge down the busy sidewalk to get to your school two miles away. He walks where no one can see him except you, and he watches you look at him out of the corner of your eyes. Hyunjae sees the curiosity and the annoyance whenever you see him, and it couldn’t make him more amused.
“Why are you always following me?” You ask him one day. He’s standing beside you while you swing, giving you a little push here and there. People can see him now, and the mothers are cooing about what a nice young man, playing with his niece. He rolls his eyes at them.
“I’m not following you. You just happen to be going everywhere I need to be.”
“Are you sure? And why haven’t you changed at all?” You ask him. He just smiles. “And also, why couldn’t anybody see you when we were at school? I was talking to you and Eric and he thought I was crazy for some reason.” You stop your swing and kick the dirt with a pout. Hyunjae crouches beside you and puts his finger under your chin to lift your head. There are tears in your eyes, and he frowns at that.
“Why are you crying, little bug?” You don’t speak at first, your lip trembling and your eyes shining. Hyunjae lifts his hand, and when he flips it over there’s a butterfly. A monarch, just like the last time. He holds his hand out for you to hold the small insect, but you just start sobbing. The butterfly, now startled, flutters off toward the road. He watches as a car zips by the poor creature, and he doesn’t see it fly away. When he looks back at you, you’re trying to wipe your tears.
They don’t stop, and he wraps a hand around your shoulders, pulling you in for a tight hug that you find yourself returning. He feels you shaking against him, feels the tears starting to soak into his crisp black button-down shirt.
“Y/N,” he says your name in a quiet yet stern voice. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.” You sniffle against his chest and he sighs.
“I don’t wanna die like mommy.” His body goes rigid and you pull away from him.
“What did you say?” He breathes out.
“I don’t wa-wanna d-die like m-mommy.” You hiccup and Hyunjae’s eyes become dark with an emotion you haven’t seen before, and he can only pray to his Father that you never have to.
“You aren’t going to, little bug.” He promises. “Not if I can help it.”
~
That night he speaks to his Father. He finds himself alone in the park, sitting on the same swing you had when you spoke to him.
I don’t wanna die like mommy.
You’d been so afraid when you said that, and he couldn’t help the twinge in his heart. Sometimes it was hard to be a Guardian. You weren’t allowed to stop the fate of your assignment. You weren’t allowed to change details. You could only sit and watch and turn your eyes away when things got bad. Most angels turned their emotions off like a switch, only acting as if they cared for their assignments until it was done.
Hyunjae couldn’t do that. He had promised Sangyeon that, no matter the cost, he wouldn’t turn them off. He intended to keep that promise.
“You asked to see me.”
A voice around him. Not in front, or behind, or on either side. It surrounds him as if it was the water in a lake he’d submerged himself in. He flinches at the sound but doesn’t raise his eyes.
“It’s good to see you, Father.” No response, so Hyunjae continues. “Why didn’t you tell me anything about my assignment?”
“You knew everything you needed to know about the girl. Nothing else matters.”
“She’s only a child, and she’s terrified of dying like her mother. How can that be what the fates have intended for her?” Hyunjae keeps his voice level, but his hands are beginning to shake with anger.
“Are you questioning your abilities to continue this assignment?”
“No, Father.” Hyunjae shakes his head and sighs. “I’m just…I want to understand why you did this.” There’s a warm feeling across his shoulders, and he feels his body beginning to relax. There’s a comfort in his Father’s shadowy embrace, one that he cherishes no matter what he feels for Him.
“You will understand when you are both ready. For now, proceed as you were. There is still time.” Hyunjae’s eyebrows knit together and he raises his head at last. The warm embrace has vanished, along with the overwhelming presence that had accompanied it.
“The hell do you mean there’s still time?” He mutters, rising to his feet and taking a few steps forward. “Time for what?”
~
Hyunjae watches as you celebrate your sixteenth birthday with a few of your close friends. There’s a smile on your face while you cut the cake and open presents, but he can see something weighing on you. He can see the emotions rolling off of you in waves, even when you smile brightly at him.
A storm rages outside your house, and Hyunjae can only imagine what is happening in the heavens above him.
“Are you two dating?” He hears one of your friends ask, but you vehemently deny it. You claim that he’s far too old for you, that he’s just a family friend that’s in town for a while. One of your friends side-eyes him and he raises an eyebrow. He does admit that, in his black attire, he does look mildly intimidating. He understands where she’s coming from and why she’d be suspicious of him.
Hyunjae doesn’t acknowledge her otherwise, keeping his narrowed eyes on you for the rest of the night. As a Guardian, he should be able to gauge some idea of what you’re thinking and feeling. He should be able to gauge your health status, whether you’re sick or not. He senses nothing from you.
He senses nothing and that’s terrifying.
“You okay, man?” Eric is beside him, gazing curiously at the older man that he’s almost positive hasn’t aged a day in seven years. He’s the same height, has the same broad shoulders and chiseled jaw, and his eyes haven’t formed the wrinkled lines many 30-something-year-olds have. He still has that smooth, unblemished skin that looks perfect always.
“I’m fine,” Hyunjae tilts his head to the side, gazing at the younger boy. He eyes the little acne scars on the young boy's face, the dried strands of his bleached hair, and the lankiness of his limbs. He knows the boy will grow into himself. He knows the fate of nearly everyone in this room, save for you. Guardians can’t know their assignment’s fate. They can only guide them down the path they deem correct. Everyone else, though? Their fates are open for practically everyone to see.
Eric, for example, falls into a downward spiral when he’s twenty-five. Mental health is his downfall, and he never recovers.
The girl that gave him a dirty look won’t make it past her second year of college. Poor child.
“What’s your skincare routine?” Eric blurts out suddenly, and Hyunjae raises an eyebrow. “I just— your skin is really smooth and I really just want to know what your routine is. I have a lot of, uh, blemishes?” The more Hyunjae looks at the young boy, the more nervous Eric seems to get. Hyunjae smiles at this, smiles knowing that he is, in fact, superior to the human race in more ways than deemed important.
“Just basic cleansers, some moisturizer. Face mask here and there.” Eric nods quickly, foolheartedly believing the lie, and Hyunjae can practically see him making a list of things he needs.
“Thanks, man. I appreciate it.” Eric claps Hyunjae on the shoulder, grimacing at the solid impact and the pain that shot up his wrist. “Maybe I should get your gym routine, too. Shit, you’re built like a goddamn brick wall.”
“You shouldn’t swear too much,” Hyunjae sniffs and kicks himself off the wall. “Never know who might be watching over you.”
~
When your friends leave, you finally allow yourself to sit, and Hyunjae watches as you put your head in your hand and just sit at the small dining room table. The small waves of emotion are becoming tsunamis, and though he can’t tell exactly what you’re feeling, he knows that you’re upset by something. He knows that there’s something wrong, something that he can’t figure out.
“Little bug,” he sits down next to you, his large frame practically dwarfing yours. “Can I tell you a story?”
You look at him, your eyes heavy with emotion. You try to smile, but he can see how difficult it is and places a hand on your shoulder.
“You heard of God, and of Adam and Eve, and Lucifer, and all of them. You’ve heard the Bible stories and learned of the angels that fought against the demons.” You nod and he proceeds. “Have you heard of the angels that stood alongside them? Not the ones that were deemed threats, or ones that everyone could see. Ones that protected them, and guided them along their fated paths.”
“What, guardian angels?” Your eyes are curious again and he smiles. “I mean, I’ve heard people talk about them but I’ve never seen them in Bible stories or anything like that.”
“That’s because they aren’t in the Bible,” Hyunjae explains. “God made it clear from the start that these Guardians weren’t to inform their…people of their existence. Guardians were to play alongside the children, befriend the adults, and take the form of whatever they found their people needed.”
“If they weren’t supposed to be common knowledge, why do you know so much about them?” You ask, and Hyunjae shrugs. “And why are you telling me this?”
“Such a curious little bug,” he nudges you and you crack a smile. A real, beautiful smile that warms every inch of his body. “I’m telling you this because I want you to know that even if it doesn’t feel like it, there is somebody watching over you. Someone is here to protect you, keep you safe, and ensure that you’re happy, even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes. I want you to know that maybe your guardian angel is closer than you think, lingering out of the corner of your eye. Just out of sight when you turn your head.”
From his pocket, he pulls out a little box wrapped in violet paper. There’s a bow on the top, black and satiny. Your eyes widen when he places the box in your palm and squeezes your shoulder.
“Open it.”
“You didn’t have to, Hyunjae…” He just shrugs.
“No, I didn’t. But I did.” You smile and gently do your best not to rip the delicate wrapping paper while opening your gift. Despite your efforts, Hyunjae watches you wince at the small tear in the paper.
“You don’t have to be so careful,” he tells you, “it’s just paper.” You shake your head.
“Purple is my favorite color, you should know this by now Jae.” He just sits back against the couch cushion and lets you open the jewelry box he’d gotten you. You look back at him with a confused pout and he just gestures for you to open it.
A necklace. Thin silver chain, and a pendant attached.
A butterfly made of delicately crafted wings. There are jewels attached to the butterfly, creating the wings and the eyes.
“Diamonds?” Your eyes narrow and he feels his heart sink a bit. Did you hate it? “Jae, how did you afford this?”
“Call it a family heirloom,” he lies. “My mother’s.”
“Your mother had a brand new diamond necklace just hanging around the house, and you gave it to me instead of giving it to your girlfriend?” You turn fully toward him and scowl. “Lee Hyunjae you shouldn’t have gotten me a gift so expensive.”
“Why not?” He challenges.
“I’m not worth this much!” It’s his turn to scowl.
“You know that’s not true, little bug. You’re worth far more than you know.”
~
Hyunjae hovers over your shoulder, watching you bite at your nails while you write your essay.
“I still don’t understand why colleges make you write these things.” His fingers wrap around the back of your chair and you roll your neck. Your head brushes against his abdomen and you flinch away.
“They want to know about us, what makes us good candidates. Now can you read this and make sure it sounds like a sob story?” He rolls his eyes when you push him into the chair and take his position.
You’d written about your mom. About how she got sick when you were little, and about how your dad was basically never there. You wrote about how you would walk yourself to school every day, and walk yourself to the nearby park until your sick mother could get you. Often, you would be at the park until the sun went down and the street lights would come on.
“This is sad,” Hyunjae takes a pause and your eyes shoot to him nervously.
“Good sad or bad sad?”
“Good. Let me finish reading.” You nod and he turns back to the computer screen.
Halfway through the essay, he sees something familiar.
You’d written about him. About how he helped you stay alive through those hard times. How he, this mysterious man that claimed to be a family friend, was the only consistent person in your life. How he helped you grow into the woman that he’d convinced you was real, and that you didn’t have to struggle through life on your own.
“You called me your guardian angel?” His lips twitch into a smile and you laugh nervously.
“I— I just meant that— that you were always there for me, y’know?” You spit out quickly. “You kept me on the right path, even when I started going astray.” Hyunjae’s smile grows and he lifts himself out of the chair.
“Little bug, I didn’t do anything. Every choice you made, every path you chose, that was you. I was just a bit of moral support,” he denies, even though he knows you’re right. Although, you don’t need to know that he’s literally your guardian angel. You don’t need to know that yes, he was guiding you through the motions. He kept your boat from capsizing from even the most dangerous waves.
He can’t take all the credit for your success, even when it was due.
Still, you squeeze his shoulder and place your chin on his shoulder while he reads. His hands are beginning to shake, and he isn’t quite sure why.
“What do you think?” You ask, and he feels your breath brushing against his ear. His skin grows warm.
“I think it’s very well done.” He starts to rise from the chair and you take a few steps back, sitting on the mattress of your bed. He crosses his arms, steeling his body so you can’t see the shaking of his hands, the sweat on his neck. “I think these colleges would be foolish to not accept you.”
“You think so?” You’re hopeful, and he smiles, walking toward you until he’s hardly a foot away from you.
“I know so, little bug.” Your body goes rigid when you feel his lips against your forehead. Your cheeks go ablaze, the heat spreading down your neck. It’s the first time he’d shown this kind of true affection toward you, and you aren’t quite sure what to do with it.
He’s still smiling when he pulls back, laughing to himself when he sees your stunned expression.
“You keep working, I’ll go make some food.”
~
You were twenty-one when Hyunjae finally gave up on stopping you from going to parties. For years he’d forced you to stay home, to “not waste your time getting shit-faced with a bunch of nobodies who couldn’t give less of a shit about you”. He’d caught you a number of times when you tried to sneak out the window of your dorm room, sitting in the tree you were going to climb down in a flimsy skirt and some heels. He’d stopped you from sneaking out the main doors by waking your RA. Anything you could think of trying, he somehow already knew and was prepared to stop you.
“I’m just keeping you safe,” he’d say with a smirk and a shrug. “Besides, you won’t have to sneak out in a couple of years. Just hold off a little longer, focus on your studies, and hang out with your friends at a cafe or something.”
“What am I supposed to say when they ask me why I keep ditching them?” You stomp your foot, and Hyunjae raises an eyebrow.
“Tell them your guardian angel said no.” You think he’s kidding, that he isn’t taking you seriously, and that he’s mocking you. He isn’t, and he wishes he could tell you that but he could be killed.
When he finally does let you go, he comes with you and Eric, playing along as your chauffeur and as a guest. You’re a bit too excited, and Eric has to calm you down before Hyunjae puts the car in park. He can see you looking at him out of the corner of your eye, eyeing him up and down. He’s smirking. It isn’t as if he’s dressed up, at least no more than he usually is. A white tee shirt, a leather jacket that’s been left unzipped, some black pants, and black boots. No change from his usual colors, just a bit more style to fit in more with the college kids.
Nobody would question a 25-year-old at a college party. Half the men in the frat were nearing that age anyway, and Hyunjae’s lip curled in disgust when he saw one chatting up a freshman, just barely out of high school.
He feels your arm looping through his, and his gaze turns back to you. You’re talking with Eric, and he sees your arm also looped through his. You want to keep them both close, at least for a while. Hyunjae’s eyes narrowed at the young boy. Since high school, he’s put on some muscle and cleaned up the acne he’d been so worried about. He’d have no problem finding someone to settle down with, and he knows the Guardian watching over Eric is pleased with this.
“…don’t you think, Jae?” You look up at him expectantly, your eyes glittering with excitement. You don’t know he has no idea what you said, and he doesn’t plan on you finding out so he smiles and nods.
“Sure thing, little bug.”
The music is overwhelmingly loud. Not nearly the loudest party he’d had to attend, but nonetheless he hated every second he was in the disgusting house. You and Eric had peeled off in another direction, somewhere across the room and he was on the landing, leaning on the banister with a half-empty red cup in one of his hands. Every time he takes a sip from the plastic cup, he grimaces at the disgusting taste. Human alcohol had become more and more disgusting as the years dragged on. Every time he was dragged to an event, such as this one, he prayed to his father that the drinks wouldn’t get any worse. And, every time, his prayers went unanswered.
“Hey,” a girl appears at his side and he doesn’t even spare her a glance. “What’s a handsome man like yourself doing at a party like this?” She’s too close for comfort, her clothing too revealing for his taste. He scoffs, ignoring her. She keeps talking. “You seem a bit too old to be going to lame frat parties. Shouldn’t you be at a bar or at a club?” Now he looks at her, his eyebrow raised. She smiles, her lips colored ruby red and her eyes flashing with mischief.
“I go to the university.”
“My point still stands.” He sighs, returning to leaning over the banister. You’re talking with a man now, and he picks up bits of your conversation.
My name’s Sunwoo.
Y/N.
What’s a pretty girl like yourself doing at a party like this?
Humans, similarly to their drinks, get less and less creative with time. Recycling the same useless tactics over and over again until someone is desperate enough to fall for it.
Sunwoo twirls a piece of your hair around your finger, and Hyunjae’s teeth grind together at the way you swoon. Of course, you would be one to fall for the stupid comments and greetings. Of course.
“You seem awfully close to that girl.” Hyunjae rolls his eyes.
“What’s it to you?”
“You should be careful.” Her finger is trailing down his arm now. “You never know what sort of evil will catch up with the two of you.” His body goes rigid and his head snaps to the side.
Her eyes are boring into his, red meeting gold. She’s still smiling, her hand still trailing up and down his arm. Hyunjae bites down on his tongue, rising to stand straight.
“What are you doing here?” He hisses. The demon beside him just continues to smile.
“I’m a warning. Someone sent me to warn you, Guardian.”
“Who sent you?” He yanks his arm out of her grasp, and she sighs.
“I can’t tell you that, Guardian. But you should be careful. They’re watching, waiting. Soon enough, they will take one of you. They don’t care which.” The demon begins to back up, and Hyunjae follows. To anyone around, it may look like she’s seducing him. Bringing him to one of the bedrooms upstairs.
“Why should I believe you?”
“Your brother did.” She shrugs and Hyunjae’s breath hitches. “In fact, he sends his regards from his assignment. The man he was assigned to recently got married and his wife is now pregnant. You should be proud of them.”
“Why do you know Sangyeon?”
“I told you, I’m just here to warn you.”
She’s gone before he can respond, disappearing into the crowd and no matter how he strains his neck, he can’t spot her anymore. But he sees you. You’re alone now, and Sunwoo seems to have found a new interest in a pretty girl by the “bar”. He walks over to you, shoving through the crowd and ignoring those who snap at him.
When your eyes lock on his, that warm feeling returns to his chest. All thoughts of the demon have disappeared, and now his mind is consumed by you. Protecting you, caring for you, being with you, having you.
“Jae?” Your voice is soft, barely audible even with his superior hearing. Your eyes are wide, staring up at him. Your hand is wrapped around his jacket, holding tightly. “Is everything okay?” He isn’t sure what comes over him. Maybe it’s the thought of someone hurting you. The thought of losing you. Maybe he’s scared of failing his assignment. Maybe he’s scared of failing you. He isn’t sure, but whatever it is has him drawing to him, his hand tilting your head up. He can hear and feel your heart beginning to pound. Hyunjae feels your grip on his jacket tighten, feels you beginning to stand on your toes.
You’re inches away from him, the two of you tucked into a darker corner of the party with not a soul watching the two of you. His hand is still loosely gripping your chin, the other holding your waist. Your skin is warm to the touch, almost too warm. He watches your eyes, the way they begin to flutter shut and the way you almost seem to lean into him.
His lips brush against your forehead, and you flinch against his touch. He goes to pull back but you keep him close, holding him against you. The two of you don’t move for a while. You just stand in that corner, holding each other as if you’re afraid the other will let go too soon.
~
You were just barely starting your third year of college when it happened. Just barely starting to live when your life was ripped out of your hands.
See, the thing about illnesses is that sometimes they take time. Sometimes they are slow acting, and you don’t see them until late in the victim’s life. Sometimes, if you’re lucky, you don’t get symptoms at all and are able to pass away peacefully. Sometimes those slow-acting illnesses begin to show, but treatments work quickly and they’re able to be stopped.
But sometimes, on certain occasions, that isn’t the case. Sometimes illness strikes out of nowhere, sinking its teeth into the nearest unsuspecting victim. It latches on, feating until there is nothing left but a shell of the person that once was.
You were linked up to monitors, needles sticking in your arms, and a number of nurses and doctors standing around your bedside.
Unconscious.
That’s how Hyunjae found you. You were unconscious, and your skin was pale. Your eyes were sunken in. A doctor tries to make him leave, but there was something in the Guardian’s eyes that had the older man stumbling over his words and averting his eyes.
It was a look of unfathomable rage. Like he had more power inside him, and such contempt for the world that he could cause more damage than the wrath of God.
Hyunjae walked forward, pushing past the nurses trying to protest. In the reflection of one of the monitors, he could see his eyes. They were gold. Not just little flecks, not a shade of yellow that televisions tried to excuse as gold, but pure, vibrant gold. The anger in them darkened them, but anyone who looked into this man’s eyes was struck with awe. With amazement, confusion, and horror when they, past the screaming voices in their mind that told them death was imminent, realized how much danger they were in.
“What happened to her?” The doctor behind Hyunjae stuttered over his words again, and Hyunjae turns around. When he spoke again, it was as if there were millions of voices speaking all at once, overwhelming the medical professionals. “What. Happened. To. Her.”
“We…we aren’t sure yet,” the doctor breathed out, lowering his gaze to the floor. “It— she was brought here by a young man. He said that she collapsed in the middle of a presentation. It could be nothing, we just want to make sure.”
“If it was nothing,” Hyunjae hissed out and there was a swell of triumph when he sees the fear in the doctor’s eyes, “she would not be here, would she?”
“N-No, sir, I suppose not.” The doctor whimpered.
“Fix her.” The order was clear, and the doctor knew without saying that his next phrase was not a threat, but a promise. “Fix her, or I swear on thy God that I will kill each and every last one of you. I will kill you, and I will kill your families, and I will kill anyone that you have even passed on the street if that’s what it takes for you to comprehend the importance of this.”
“Calm yourself, Hyunjae.” A hand on his shoulder, and he feels something inside of him jolt. His heart, maybe. He can feel it beginning to pound, can feel his lungs empty of air. “We don’t need any accidents today.”
For a moment, he just stands there frozen. He doesn’t know if he should turn around. Doesn’t know if he should react positively or negatively. Hyunjae’s heart is pounding, and for that moment he stands frozen, the fear and the anger begin to kick in.
“Sangyeon,” Hyunjae breathes out. His brother is smiling when he turns around. He’s smiling, and healthy, and he’s alive. “You’re…you’re here? But— but how did you— how are you—”
The doctors have left the room, and he can hear them whispering amongst each other. They’re debating calling the police, or just leaving him be. Someone picks up a phone, and Sangyeon pulls Hyunjae to the side, ducking into an empty hospital room and shutting the door.
“How are you here?” Hyunjae hisses, pushing his brother back against the wall. There’s pain in his voice. Fear, even. There’s no possible way that Sangyeon could have found him. Guardians can’t track each other. They have no way of finding each other when on assignments.
“You have to know the truth.” Sangyeon doesn’t push his younger brother away, just lets himself be shoved against the wall with a strong hand digging into his chest. Something warm is beginning to burn against his skin, and he bites down on his tongue to numb the pain. “Someone had to tell you, and it wasn’t going to be our Father.”
“What are you talking about?” Hyunjae pulls his hand away when smoke begins to rise from under his palm, tightening his hand into a fist to cool himself off. “What truth?”
“About this assignment. Didn’t she warn you?” The door behind them opens and closes, and Hyunjae whips around. His hands are glowing, radiating with heat that begins the catch on the fabric of the bed next to him. The woman— the demon he’d met just a year prior stands with her body leaning against the wall. She’s dressed in a nurse’s garb, his lips curled into that same smirk that he’d dreaded.
“I tried, but your father must be a very convincing man.” Sangyeon smiles sadly, beckoning for her to join him. She tucks herself under his arm, practically wrapping her body around him. A lump is forming in Hyunjae’s throat, and his vision beginning to swim.
“What the hell is going on?” Sangyeon frowns, taking a step toward his younger brother. Hyunjae takes a step back. “Why are you…brother, why are you with this creature?” The demon scoffs.
“Creature? I would hardly call myself a creature, you stupid Guardian—”
“Hye-Ri,” Sangyeon interrupts, “that’s enough. Let me talk.” Hye-Ri’s lips purse and she takes a small step back. The older angel sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Jae, I need you to listen to me very carefully. Everything Father has told you up until now has been a lie.” Hyunjae bites his tongue, fighting the urge to argue with his brother. He might not believe Sangyeon, but he will not disrespect his brother. “He’s told you that this is just an assignment, that you need to guide her down the right path until she passes, is that correct?”
“Yes.” He keeps his response short and Sangyeon nods.
“He lied. This isn’t an assignment. This is a slaughter.”
“What are you talking about?” Hyunjae asks. “A slaughter?”
“Her mother wasn’t supposed to die,” Hye-Ri informs him, and his eyes narrow on her. “Sangyeon here was the woman’s guardian. She was supposed to live a long, fruitful life, but your Father fed her a disease. An angelic disease.”
“The same one Y/N has now.” Sangyeon nods and Hyunjae exhales heavily. “You said this was a slaughter?”
“Y/N is…different from what you’re used to. I’m sure you’ve noticed that you can’t get a reading on her. That you can’t quite understand her like you can other people.” Hyunjae just nods, and Sangyeon continues. “That’s because she’s a Link.”
“A what?”
“Think of Links as soulmates,” Hye-Ri explains. “Links basically latch onto an angel, guardian or not, and link them to the human realm. Not a very creative name, but it does the trick.”
“Stay on track, Hye-Ri.”
“Right,” the demon nods, “your Father isn’t sure where it started, or with whom, but he intends to wipe out any and all links he can find.”
“But…but why does he need to do that? I mean…it can’t be dangerous to have a— a soulmate, as you called them.” Hyunjae gnaws on his lip, folding his arms over his chest.
“Father has never truly loved the human race as he claimed he did,” Sangyeon says. “He despises how we, the Guardians, grow close to them. How we grow attached to them. He fears another rebellion, should one grow too close to an assignment. He fears that the Links will be the very root of his angels betraying him. That his angels and these Links will produce heirs that are powerful enough to take down even himself.”
“So Y/N…” Hyunjae’s voice is trembling more than he’d like to admit. “She’s my…she’s my Link? My soulmate?” He receives a sad nod from his brother and tilts his head back to look at the ceiling.
“Father saw you growing attached. He knew that it would only be a matter of time before you began to break the rules he’d set in stone.”
“But I haven’t…I haven’t done anything. I’ve kept myself under control, nothing has happened!” Hyunjae protests. “It isn’t fair to me, and it isn’t fair to her.”
“I know.” Sangyeon wraps his arms around his younger brother, feeling Hyunjae’s body shake with rage and fear, and pain. “I know, little brother.”
~
A crack of thunder shakes the building, and the pounding of rain fills the awful silence of the hospital. It’s surprisingly quiet for this time of day, but nobody would ever say that out loud.
Hyunjae is in your hospital room again, his head lowered and his foot tapping against the ground. A nurse enters the room, flinching when she sees him. Her body remains tense the entire time she takes your vitals.
“Is she getting better?” He asks before the nurse leaves. There’s a moment of silence before he looks up at her. She looks afraid, but there’s sadness in her eyes.
“No. She’s not.”
The door shuts again and Hyunjae lowers his head back down. The beeping of machines begins to overwhelm him. It’s constant, and he begins to wonder if you can hear it too. If you can hear what’s going on around if you’re screaming for someone to hear you and see you and listen to you.
When the door opens again, he knows who it is.
“Have you been here the whole time?” Eric is breathless, his voice hoarse and strained.
“I have,” comes Hyunjae’s monotone response.
“Has she woken at all?”
“No.” Hyunjae looks up again, resting his face against his laced fingers. “No, she’s comatose right now.” Eric’s face twists with pain, and Hyunjae barely flinches when the young boy’s hand collides with the concrete wall. There’s an ugly crunch, and he watches Eric bite back a scream. His knuckles are now bleeding, and his hand already going from red to purple.
“Fuck.” The boy hisses quietly, cradling his fist to his chest. Hyunjae scoffs out a laugh.
“That was idiotic.”
“I know.” Eric sits beside the Guardian, squeezing his eyes shut and willing away the pain. Hyunjae eyes the bloodied and bruised fingers and rolls his eyes.
“Give me your hand.” Hyunjae holds out his own hand, palm facing up, and Eric shoots him a look.
“No offense, you’re hot and all, but I’m not into you.” Hyunjae bites his tongue again and continues to hold out his hand.
“I’m not into you either. Glad we’re on the same page. Give. Me. Your. Hand.” Eric slowly stretches his arm out, placing his fist into Hyunjae’s outstretched palm. There’s a soft glow and a few cracking sounds. Eric’s face goes pale, watching his fingers snap into place as if they had never broken. The blood remains on his fingers, and he wipes them with a tissue.
“How the fuck did you do that?” Eric asks, gazing at his fixed hand in amazement.
“I have a number of tricks up my sleeve, kid.”
“Is this the same thing that keeps you from aging?” Hyunjae hesitates before he responds. “And don’t try lying to me. I’m not dumb. At first I just thought your skincare was hella good, but after twelve years of you not aging past twenty-five it kinda gets obvious that there’s something up.”
“You’re not afraid?” Hyunjae asks curiously. Eric shrugs.
“Unless you think I should be, not really. You’ve protected Y/N our whole lives, you’ve done nothing to make me think I shouldn’t trust you. I don’t know who or what you are, but I trust you.”
“Interesting.” Hyunjae sits back in his chair, leaning his head against the wall. “So if I told you I was her guardian angel, you’d believe me?”
“I mean…I guess?” Eric shrugs. “Unless, for some reason, that’s a lie?”
“No, it isn’t. And this isn’t a human disease.”
“What do you mean it isn’t a human disease? Like…this is from Heaven?”
“Mhm. Given to her directly by Father dearest to spite me.” Eric’s jaw drops open a bit.
“God wants to kill my best friend?”
“You pick up on things fast.” His head snaps to the side and he hears Eric hiss in pain. When Hyunjae turns his head back, Eric is sitting quietly, eyes trained on his best friend. “Are you glad you did that? Did that make you feel better?”
“Yeah, a little bit. Keep talking.”
“She’s what we call a Link. She is, essentially, my soulmate.”
“Ew, age gap much?” Hyunjae snorts, his lips curling into a smile. He’d expected Eric to be less accepting of all of this, but apparently, he’d underestimated the boy.
“My Father, God as you call him, doesn’t necessarily approve of Links. He wants to eradicate them all. He gives them diseases, angelic diseases that have no cure in any world. Not in Heaven, not in Hell, and certainly not here. Any medications given are just prolonging the inevitable.”
“So…She’s just…gonna die?” Eric asks, and Hyunjae gives him a pitiful look. “Is there anything that you can do? You’re her soulmate, there’s gotta be something. True love’s kiss?” The Guardian shakes his head and Eric lets out a shaky sigh.
“My brother is…trying to find something. Anything that can help her. We just have to be patient.”
He isn’t entirely sure who he’s trying to convince, himself or Eric or both. He knows that these attempts are futile. He knows that he can’t save you like he’d promised you so long ago.
I don’t want to die like my mommy.
I won’t let that happen.
~
“We need to consider that she might not wake up.” Hyunjae stares down at the doctor, his hands shaking and his eyes narrowed. “It’s…it’s been two years, sir.”
“I don’t give a damn how long it’s been,” Hyunjae snarls, standing over your comatose form. Protecting you. “We aren’t pulling this plug. Not now, not ever. Do you understand me, Doctor?”
“Sir,” the older gentleman tries to plead, “I understand your frustration but… you need to face that she would be better off just…going on her own terms. Keeping her alive, in this state where she has no control over her bodily functions, where she can’t communicate with us or feel the things that we can, it isn’t good for her or for you.”
He knows the doctor is right. He knows he’s just prolonging the inevitable, he always has. But he can’t let go of you yet. It’s too soon. He hasn’t had enough time with you. Hasn’t had enough time to talk to you, to take care of you, to love you, cherish you, adore you. He hasn’t had time to show you the world, as he’d wanted to for so long. He hadn’t had time to tell you the truth.
Although, at this point, the truth is…unfortunate. His wings had been stripped from his body, his and his brother’s. His rights as a Guardian have been removed. Anything he could’ve used to save you…there’s nothing left. He has Fallen, but he couldn’t be more proud of it. He doesn’t have to hide himself anymore, doesn’t have to fear the man he once called Father.
“Hyunjae,” Hye-Ri stands at his side, her eyes tired. “You know the doctor is right.”
“Shut up, Hye-Ri.” The young demon snarls. Hye-Ri doesn’t snap at him this time. She looks sad, almost pitying him. Sangyeon stands at the door, his arms crossed over his chest. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. None of you do.”
“Lee Hyunjae,” Sangyeon says sternly, “use reason. I understand you’re upset, but you need to understand that your soulmate is suffering and that you are being selfish.”
“Am I not allowed to be selfish?” Hyunjae cries. “Even now that I am finally free from God’s hands, am I not allowed to be selfish for once?” Hye-Ri leaves the room, her eyes lowered to the ground. Sangyeon steps forward. Hyunjae moves even closer to you.
“You are allowed to want things, little brother,” Sangyeon speaks softly, so as not to anger Hyunjae further. “You are allowed to want her. You are allowed to crave more time with her, but you cannot have her like this. You know that.” For a brief moment, Hyunjae wants to scream. He wants to throw the vase of flowers that sits beside your hospital bed, he wants to tear this building down until there’s nothing left but a pile of bricks.
But he doesn’t. He stands there, gazing down at you and brushing his thumb across your cheek. Your body is cold, and when he touches you, you don’t so much as twitch. His hand drops to his side.
“Get Eric. Get the doctor.”
~
The first thing you notice when you wake up is the beach in front of you. You’re laying in the sand, water washing up to your ankles. The sun is warm on your skin, but you aren’t sweating. In fact, nothing about your situation is uncomfortable. You’re at peace, more comfortable than you think you’ve ever been.
The second thing you notice is that you’re in nothing but a bathing suit and a beach cover. You don’t remember changing into this. In fact, you can’t seem to remember anything after the party.
“You’re awake,” you turn your head and you begin to smile. Hyunjae is dressed in a simple tee shirt and shorts, two classes and a bottle of champagne clutched in his hands. He’s grinning at you, and you rise to your feet.
“You’re wearing something other than black, I see.” You tease him. He lets out a laugh, and you think it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard.
“Hilarious, little bug.” He nudges your side, guiding you to a nearby table with two long beach chairs sitting side-by-side. “Come have a drink with me.” You follow him, the beach cover blowing behind you a bit. Your hair isn’t quite tussled by the wind around you, just brushed over your shoulders. Everything is perfect.
Too perfect.
Hyunjae takes a seat on one of the chairs, gritting his teeth when he removes the top of the champagne bottle.
“I always get nervous opening these things. Far too dangerous for their own good if you ask me.” You sit beside him, and he side-eyes you. “I got you your own chair.”
“What if I want to sit next to you?” You challenge. He pauses, and for a moment you think he looks…sad. That moment passes quickly, and he’s smiling again and laughing to himself.
“I won’t stop you then.” He takes one of the glasses and slowly fills it with the bubbling alcohol before passing it to you. You thank him quietly and briefly turn your gaze to the ocean.
“Have you ever seen water so clear?” You ask, half rhetorical and half curious. He hums.
“Once or twice.”
“I didn’t think Heaven would have beaches this nice.” Silence behind you, and you turn back to Hyunjae, still smiling. He’s staring at you, his body completely frozen. You can see his body shaking, the liquid in his glass sloshing up the sides. You take the glass and the bottle from his hands, setting both on the table beside him. Tears are beginning to wet his cheeks, and you reach forward to wipe them away.
“I didn’t…I’m so, so sorry little bug.” His voice cracks and the tears keep falling.
“Jae, you knew it would happen eventually. I did too. That’s just…I just got the shit end of the stick in this life.” You slide closer to him and he lets his eyes close. “Besides, did you really think that I believed you had really good skincare? For almost twenty years?”
Hyunjae wraps his arms around you tightly, pulling you as close as he possibly could. You let him hold you, you let him whisper his apologies, and his regrets, and his whispers of I love you, I adore you, I’m sorry this happened before I got to show you the world. You just smile, running your fingers through his hair and rubbing his shoulders.
When he pulls away from you at last, his cheeks are red and stained with tears. You’re still smiling, assuring him that everything is okay.
“So,” you raise the two glasses of champagne and hand him one, “what are we toasting?” Hyunjae shakes his head, his smile returning.
“Whatever you want, little bug. Anything you want, I will give you.” You hum, kicking your legs a bit and digging your toes into the sand.
“Anything, you say?” You wiggle your eyebrows and while he laughs, you know that he means every word. You know what he doesn’t have the strength to say yet. I am yours. You are mine. I will cherish you, adore you, and love you how I should have when you were alive. “Fine then.”
“Have you decided?” He turns toward the beach and you do the same, leaning your head on his shoulder briefly. You feel him flinch when you press your lips to his shoulder blade, where you can feel his wings once were.
“I have.”
“So?”
“To merry bad endings, and to you for going against what you’d been raised to do, for believing in me and in your brother.” Hyunjae smiles, tipping his glass to yours. A small clink echoes across the beach.
“To merry bad endings.”
~
TAGLIST: @hyunjaespresent-deobi @just-here-to-read-01
#itsbeeble#itsbeeble masterlist#kpop#kpop imagines#kpop angst#kpop fluff#the boyz#the boyz x reader#the boyz imagines#the boyz angst#the boyz fluff#the boyz hyunjae#lee hyunjae#lee hyunjae imagines#lee hyunjae x reader#hyunjae x reader#hyunjae imagines
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