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st4rb3rries · 10 months

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OMG I LOVED UR STAN AND KYLE BSF HEADCANNONS!! Can i req one with the main four, like what its like to be in a group w/ them?? have an amazing day <33

BEING IN A FRIEND GROUP WITH SOUTH PARKS MAIN 4

pairings; stan, kyle, kenny, cartman x fem!reader (all aged up 18+)

summary; chaotic friend group hc's!

warnings; cussing

a/n; hi and ty hope you have an amazing day too!!

key colors; blue= stan green= kyle orange= kenny red= cartman pink= reader

late night skate boarding with them. it's always cartman who texts you guys to go. in reality he only wants to go to just to start shit. in my opinion kenny is the best skater out of y'all. but cartman is the worst💀. "you guys you guys look im gonna go down the ramp!!" "cartman that isn't a good idea your not ready-" "WAAAAAHHHHH" laughter is coming out from you, stan, and kenny. kyle wants to laugh but he ain't risking it😭. "GAWDAMMIT KYLE IM BEAT YOUR J-" cartman stops himself because he knows damn well not to rip on kyle in front of you. so he switches up real fast 🙄. "you guys i seriously think i broke a bone" "whatever cartman you just switched up cause you know y/n would kick your ass" 5 minutes kenny is teaching you, stan, and kyle a trick. "ok so next you gotta-" "get a room lovebirds i mean come on🙄" "CARTMAN STFU!!" "yeah dude stay mad because your not psychically able to do any of this🥱" this all happens in less than 15 minutes, like why can't y'all just be a nice friend group😭. moments later stan was about to go off a ramp. UNTIL HIS WHEELS BROKE OFF THE SKATEBOARD. i wonder who unscrewed them..... "AAAUAGHHHHHH" "DON'T WORRY STAN I GOTCHU!!" and there he was, stanly marsh in your arms. "W rizz stan or nah😏" stan could feel his face heating up fr. "damn dude that should've been me not stan😔" "kenny shut the hell up💀" "wait a minute where's cartman he literally almost killed stan tf????" cartman isn't trying to get his ass kicked in front of people so he ditched and went home. classic cartman.

karaoke night. you guys are definitely singing 2000's songs. but it always seems like you guys get interrupted no matter what. karaoke night was started by cartman, which is so surprising?? "I WANNA HOLD'EM LIKE THEY DO IN TEXAS, PLEASE" "FOLD'EM LET'EM HIT ME RAISE IT BABY STAY WITH M-" stan and kyle always hating cause you and cartman sound a little too good. "BOOO GET OFF THE STAGE" "YA MY EARS ARE BLEEDING" "OH FUCK OFF GUYS LET US SING" "you guys have been singing this same song for 2 hours bruh😭" "2 minutes kenny get it right" they just hating cause they can't handle real talent. sometimes when the karaoke gets intense you guys act like judges for americas got talent💀. "is this kenny mccormick from south park colorado?" "yes" "and what will you be doing today?" "YOUR MOM AHAHA" "disqualified poor people can't seem to have talent" "CARTMAN WTF" "NEXT" "no wait i'll sing with him" "oh god" if kyle and stan think you and cartman sound a little too good. JUST WAIT UNTIL THEY HERE YOU AND KENNY. "THIS ONE IS FOR THE BOYS WITH THE BOOMIN SYSTEM" "TOP DOWN AC WITH THE COOLER SYSTEM" super bass by nicki minaj is y'alls go to song. every time you guys finish that song your out of breath and laugh so much😭. "AND THE CROWD GUYS MILD🔥" "NEXT" "cartman we are done playing americas got talent" "dude let me and kyle sing next we haven't sung at all🥹" "fine" "ah hell nah it better not be anything emo💀" *30 seconds later every one starts singing* "BUT IM A CREEP" "IM A WERIDO" "WHAT THE HELL AM I DOIN' HERE" "I DON'T BELONG HERE" suddenly the tv, microphones, and speaker goes out?? "LISTEN UP BITCHES IM NOT HAVING AN ALCOHOLIC, A JEW, A FATHERLESS DAUGHTER, AND A HOMELESS POOR BOY SING RADIOHEAD AT MY HOUSE‼️‼️" guess who got jumped that night🤔???

#south park #south park x reader #south park x y/n #south park x you #stan marsh #kyle broflovski #kenny mccormick #eric cartman #stan marsh x reader #kyle broflovski x reader #kenny mccormick x reader #eric cartman x reader #stan marsh x y/n #kyle broflovski x y/n #kenny mccormick x y/n #eric cartman x y/n

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macsimagines · 8 months

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Could I ask for Kisaki, Rindou, and Draken with partners that are insecure? Like they truly believe that their boyfriend/husband could do so much better than them

I've done this one already for Kisaki and Draken here but I can def do one for Rindou!! this is kind of like a part two to my EX! Ran Haitani headcanon set!! also idk why text colors are being weird i'll try to fix it later on

TW: YANDERE BEHAVIOR, MINORS DNI,

Yandere!Rindou Haitani

He loves you, adores you even. You're so soft and kind compared to his hard and mean. Rindou has always taken pride in being who he is. He's a Haitani brother, feared allover Tokyo and a ruler in charge of Roppongi.

But for you? Just you- He's Rin. Your loving boyfriend that is never too busy to spend time with you and never lacking in affection. He'll hold your hand gladly or throw a reassuring arm over your shoulder.

All the love in the world can't stop the thoughts in your head though. He's so much more than you'll ever be. You've seen him in action and his strength and overwhelming capabilities compared to your...to your anything just made you feel so dull in comparison.

Rin is beautiful, he catches the eye of every woman you walk past on the street. Rin is strong, he can beat men without breaking a sweat. Rin is powerful, he has people that flock to him at his beck and call and you are nothing.

"I just... I just think I'm holding you back," you tell him, over the phone because you're too much of coward to say it to his face, "I want... I want what's best for you-!" "What the fuck are you talkin' about, you're what's best for me! Baby-please-!" "I can't! I'm not enough, I'm sorry Rin."

And you hang up the phone, block his number. Its better this way, you're sure by this time next week he'll have moved onto someone else, someone better that could keep up with someone as amazing as him.

But then something unexpected happens. His brother comes looking for you. Rin warned you about him once, said that after a bad breakup with his girlfriend he hadn't been the same.

"I thought they got back together though?" you had asked him confused after he had told you. He never answered you back, just got this weird look on his face before giving you a warning; "Try not to get too close. And try not to piss him off."

Yet here he was, at your doorstep staring you down like you were the scum of the earth. Apparently you hadn't heeded the warning.

"Havin' fun?" he asks, not even blinking while he towers over you, and your voice is caught in your throat, too scared to even make a sound at the older Haitani. "Cause I'm sure fuckin' not."

And suddenly he's grabbing you by the hair so tight you're scared he's going to rip it from your skull, but no, he's dragging you out the door and down the steps of your apartment ignoring your cries and screams for help.

Muttering something the whole way to his car. Something like "...You bitches and the games you like to play. Fuck with our heads, you and my girl always got make fuckin' problems for us-"

Then he's shoving you into the passenger seat making sure you can't get out. One moment you feel like you've found your voice again and then the next it leaves you because Ran has a gun pointed right at you only seconds later.

"Your gonna fix this you ungrateful bitch," he spits, eyes so full of hate it makes you want to curl in on yourself, "Put my baby brother back together and act like you like it. Like you fuckin' love it. Or I'll kill you my damn self and make you regret makin' a fool out of the Haitanis. Do you understand, Y/N?"

You're not sure if you say yes or if you even or in affirmation before he's pulling out of the parking lot and speeding dangeroulsy to some unknown destination.

And you are crying, silently shaking and sobbing because you're so scared of what he's going to do and he's still holding the gun right at your head, muttering to himself yet again.

"I'll make it right- I'll fix him and he'll be ok- fuckin' women making us loose our goddamn minds-,"

Finally you pull into a warehouse, abandoned by the looks of it and new found fear arises in you- Is this where Ran is going to kill you? But no.... This is where Rin is.

You see him first, his eyes are dark and he looks so tired from his usual self, and his expression is so empty, so emotionless that you're worried for a split second but then you see...the man. At least that's what he used to be.

His face is beaten in, and his body is contorted in such a mangled way you're sure his limbs had been broken, and Rin is on top of him. Pummeling away at the already red and mangled face.

You can't help the small gasp that leaves you and you probably would've ran out there screaming had Ran not been holding you by the neck.

But your scream was enough to alert the younger Haitani, and he turns to look at you with eyes wild like an animals. "Y-Y/N?" he whispers standing on shaking legs, "B-baby is that you?"

It didn't matter how hard you tried you couldn't make out a single sound, too shocked by the scenes unfolding around you. Thankfully, Ran wasn't short on words....

"Ya, I brought Y/N here 'cause she has somethin' to say," Ran shoves you forward, making sure that the gun at his side is always within your view. A silent reminder of what he made you promise...

Rin doesn't let you get any words our before he's embracing you with bloodied hands, smearing another persons bodily fluid all over you... "Oh baby, please tell me you're back, please? Its been hell, I can't do this without you, I'm loosin' my fuckin' mind."

Its like your brain suddenly catches up with you. You have to say yes or else... "I-I'm back," you nod, hugging him back with shaking hands, "I'm... I'm sorry Rin."

And suddenly he's sobbing, pulling you away only so he could hold your face in his bloody hands to look into your eyes, "How could you do this to me, I love you so much,"

Ran once again, speaks. "You need to keep her in line," he tells his younger brother, much to your dismay, "Like I keep my girl. Don't worry. I'll teach you."

You could never leave Rin Haitani. Shame on you for even trying.

#yandere tokyo revengers #yandere rindou haitani #yandere ran haitani

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thegreatstoryteller · 1 year

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The Great Shift: Speed Dating

Ok, so dating in your 30s can be hard. Even harder after the world has suddenly decided all of its inhabitants would suddenly swap bodies! If you thought it was hard to truly get to know someone before, it was nearly impossible now. You’d think that the differences and bodies people were exposed too would lead to more emotionally intelligent people, but no. Instead shallow just comes in all sorts of new flavors these days!

“Wassup I’m Aidan!.I’m 24, well now I’m 34 due to the shift. And well you can see I’ve got a lot of good assets to show.”

I rolled my eyes as this wannabe tough guy was trying to impress me. Sure he had an incredibly built body and intricate tattoos, but it was all surface level!

“Nice to meet you Aidan. You go to all of these speed dating events without a shirt?” I asked gingerly sipping my water.

“Only when I’m talking to a handsome guy like yourself.”

Gag. If I had a dime for every post shift hottie said that.

“Charming. So Aidan tell me about yourself. I mean before the shift what did you do for a living? What do you do now?” I asked.

He scoffs. “I used to be a computer programmer. You know boring office stuff. Then I swapped into this juggernaut and been living at the gym ever since. Quit my old boring work and been trying to become a trainer at my local gym.”

“So let me get this straight. You were able to sustain yourself on a safe indoor office job and now you’re trying to go into a new occupation you have no experience in because you want to flaunt your muscles?” I inquired further arching my eyebrow.

“Um... when you put it like that...” Aidan stammered looking called out.

“Next!” I rang the bell on the table signalling the rotation and the next person to join my table.

Aidan slumped his massive 6′5 frame away looking dejected, but as soon as he started flexing to himself he shrugged and moved on. Maybe another guy would like this wannabe muscle guy. I just hope he was so driven by those muscles he’d have the motivation to maintain them. So many people received huge powerful bodies, but without the knowledge to maintain them they just went to waste.

“Hey there sexy? Fred is the name, dating you is my game.” A beefy looking firefighter said, with a burgeoning gut about to strain his suspenders.

“Wow. Coming on a bit strong Fred. Please. Start from the beginning. Your name is Fred. Great. What’s with the fire fighter attire? Are you a fire fighter or was your body a fire fighter before the shift?” I asked wincing at this cringe intro.

He smiles and strokes his beard appreciatively while at the same time flexing his beefy arm. “Well I’m not... yet! This body used to be the best firefighter in the district! Then all of a sudden the shift happen and I go from university student studying engineering to the most buff in shape guy with 6 pack abs I’ve ever seen!”

I look down and notice the obvious lack of abs. “Ok. Makes sense... so now you’re trying to be a firefighter? Just like your body before you. That’s... noble. I’m really glad to see you give back to the community.”

Fred smiled. “Thanks! I’ve been trying for awhile now, but I can’t get through the physical test! It’s like I’m not as strong as the guy who used this body. Weird. Right now I mostly play video games and stream shirtless in these suspenders. My viewers love seeing me. I’m FireXFighter69 on Twitch and YouTube! Check out my video on-”

“Next!” I say ringing the bell once more.

“Damn. Didn’t work out... are you gonna finish your food there? You hardly touched it.” Fred pointed at the snacks provided at the table.

“Sure Fred. Good luck on your next date.” I said as Fred left with the plate of food.

Some people could be oblivious of their own faults and try way too hard. Am I asking too much for people to just be honest and not hide behind some sort of facade? I get people can be nervous, but it’s certainly better than trying to get to know a character who isn’t even real.

“Hey there bitch!”

“You’re hot as fuck and I know you need a real man to show you how it’s done.”

I didn’t know how to respond to such an abrupt entrance. I thought Aidan was cringe, but this guy was a whole new level. Flexing in my face, flipping me off, calling me names? Was he trying to neg me in less than 5 minutes?

“I can see you’re stunned by my natural masculinity. I don’t blame you. I’m an older guy given a second chance in this buff young jock. I found myself out of shape at 50 thrown into this guy mid football game. I’m no stranger to the gym so i just buffed myself up even more than that kid could. Now I’m here and ready to fuck you. So. What do you say? Wanna get out of here and ditch all these idiots?”

“Next! Sooo much next! You don’t get to dominate the conversation like this And you are NOT the type for any reasonable person here. I hope you find some sub willing to put up with your shit.” I retorted with a glare.

I see the guy in front of me blanch embarrassed! “Bastard! You’d be lucky to have me. I oughta!” He raised his hand to slam the table! Or me! But soon security escorted him out.

“I.... wow. That’s the worst one to end on. But I might as well go. There are clearly not any guys for me here.” I was about to get up when this cuter guy came over.

“Hello! I... wow. I saw what happened. Great job for standing up to that guy. He seemed like such a creep. I’m Elijah by the way... were you heading out?”

I was caught off guard. This man was so handsome! He wasn’t posturing like the rest, but I still he was making an honest effort despite his trepedation. His voice faltered a bit, but its deep resonate tones made that sound sweet. He was holding himself in a reserved posture, but even as he nervously clasped his hands I could see biceps raise and strain his shirt.

“I was... but I think I’d like to get to know you. I’m Omar. I just turned away a few guys who were being absolute jerks. How about you? Elijah was it?” I said a bit blushing.

“Yeah! Well I recently graduated post great shift. I finished my last semester at the local community college in a new body. I’m in my neighbors body. Big guy! Great beard, but I’m still getting used to maintaining it. I’ll admit. I’m working part time at the local library till I find a job more suitable for what I studied in school. I’m 22, but my new biological age is 35. I do some painting in my free time and love exploring new parts of the city now that a lot of it has been rebuilt since the shift.” Elijah explained.

“Oh! Have you checked out the bar across town? It used to be a gay bar called The Tank! Now it’s changed its name to The Sea! Since there’s so many more sexualities represented there!” I offered.

“Haha! Love that. That’s clever! The tank has gotten bigger! I get it! I uh... Maybe you and I could continue our conversation there, over drinks?” Elijah blushed.

“I’d like that. Let’s get out of here!” We both stood up and took each others hands. Gosh his were so warm. Not to mention they felt so strong. He’s got quite the grip! I took a few steps so enamored by him I nearly fell, until he caught me in his arms. My face went right across his chest as I looked up to him before standing back up.

“Thanks for the catch. I uh.. Wow. You’ve got quite the cologne. What’s that scent?” I asked so curiously.

“Oh! Sorry!” Elijah was blushing even more. “I’m not wearing any. That’s just how my body smells. Hope it wasn’t bad.”

My eyes widen again. “It’s fine. Perfect actually. I love it. Lead the way Elijah.”

Elijah giggled. Hearing such a deep voice let out something so whimsical was the cutest thing I’ve seen tonight.

“I feel so lucky walking out of this place with you Omar.” Elijah said.

“Oh come on. I’m sure you would’ve found an awesome guy to spend then night with. You’re quite the charmer.” I retorted.

“I’m not the one looking like Henry Cavil!” Elijah laughed.

We both laughed. It was true. Ever since I looked like a celeb dating has been so hard. People try so hard to impress me, that it was such a breath air to talk to Elijah like a normal person.

“Well tonight I really do feel like the man of steel because you are making me quite hard.” I smirked at Elijah, now blushing to the max.

“I... I... normally cheesy lines like that don’t work on me, but coming for you I.... gosh let’s get to that bar!”

We ended up walking aware from that speed date very satisfied. Perhaps even the hot people need help finding love after the shift. Who knows. I never said I was perfect, but tonight I sure am excited to see how far Elijah and I go!

#The Great Shift #body swap #thegreatstoryteller #race change #racial change

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spookyscaryskidnpump · 2 months

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my thoughts on spooky month 6

copy pasted from a page and a half of google doc. crying. spoilers inbound.putting it under the cut cuz its super long. also swear warning.

Ok to start off LILA. LILA MY GAL NO UR DOING UR BEST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Im crying im actually fucginf crying. She's trying. So hard. Skid is trying so hard. THEY'RE DOING THEIR BEST PLEASEEEEE. Father Gregor can go EAT SHIT. THEY'RE TRYING AND THAT'S WHAT COUNTS GODDAMNIT.

Susie… Susie no… please… she deserves better istgggggg. What happened to their parents? Are they actually just busy? Are they DEAD? Holy shit what if they're dead. Poor Pump, poor Susie, god please just let these kiddos be ok. PLEASE. ABUELO WONDER IS TYING SO HARD BUT SUSIE KNOWS IT ISN'T REALLY FROM HER PARENTS IM CRYING. SUSIE NOOOOOO

FATHER GREGOR I HATE YOU. ok well he obvs did some good but STILL. GREGOR. STFU GREGOR. I get that hes trying but U CANT JUST SAY ALL THAT SHIT ABOUT JUDGEMENT AND THEN JUDGE HER HER FUCKING HOUSE GOT BROKEN INTO!! YOU DONT HAVE THE FUCKING CONTEXT!!!! ARGHFDGHJSGHJKAGHSD. Also DAMN IS HE A CULTIST NOW?? IS HE DEAD?? WHAT?!?!?!

ROYYYYYY ROY MY BOI NOOOOOO poor guy :( i understand why he hates the kids they DID kinda ruin him so. At least he knows theyre trying now :( and ross n rob just ASSUME he did something bad isnt helping here!!!! I get that theyre also trying to help him and its nice to see him opening up to them about stuff (even if we dont get to know what specifically PELO WHY) but PLEASE get this kid an anger management class or smthn PLEASE. He needs SO MUCH THERAPY. I dont think hes gonna get therapy because im pretty sure his parents are Part Of The Problem but STILL. Also FUCKER LITERALLY GOT POSSESED BY A DEMON?????? THATS GOTTA BE TRAUMATIC TF

Side note i love ross and robert dearly and i appreciate them doing their best to help on both sides i love them smmmmmm AUGH

KEVIN AND RADFORD FRIENDSHIP REALLLLLLLLLL i am SO fucking happy about that!!!! Also Kevin having conflicted feelings on the kids FAIR. Similar thing to Roy except hes an adult with a semi-functional support network and is able to understand that theyre just dumb kids and they dont actually mean any harm. He’s harsher on the hatzgang cuz theyre teens and old enough to know stealing is wrong but Skid n Pump are little kiddos they dont know better. Also him disapproving of father gregor REAL THO. also HE GOT POSSESSED TOO?? TRAUMA CENTRAL HOLY SHIT

PATTY DESERVES TO HAVE A GUN ACTUALLY. Also JOHN ANGST JOHN ANGST JOHN ANGST! IS HIS KID DEAD? IS HIS DAUGHTER OK HOLY SHIT. ALSO THEM HELPING THE KIDS PROPERLY IM CRYIG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

WHAT WAS EVERMORE DOING WITH THE HOBOMEN???? HELLO??????

I SAW THAT CULT NECKLACE UNDER IGNACIOS SHIRT. I FUCKING SAW IT. CALLED IT BITCH!!!!!!

Rick just has the WORST luck lmao

STREBER IS ALIVE LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO

DEXTER NO PLEASE AUGH…… HIS MOM TOO……

JAUNE AND ROSS’S DAD… HE'S REAL HE EXISTS!! I get ur trying jaune but that is NOT the best way to comfort poor lila… AT LEAST SHES TRYING THO I APPRECIATE HER

THE ENTIRE NEWGROUNDS ENDING?? THE THIEVES AND THE CANDY DEALER IN CAHOOTS WITH THE CULT???? HELLO??????

MOLOCH IS GONE. he deserved it but also THE KIDS ARE SO SAD ABOUT IT? Like they don't really get it but they just watched someone they thought was their friend DIE. HOLY SHIT.

finally. SKID AND PUMP. KIDDOS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ok for real tho theyre so much more self aware than the fandom and bulk of the show give them credit for?? Like Skid is VERY aware of his dad being dead/possibly missing and legit just doesn’t wanna talk about it. He knows what death is and he finds fun in it to cope. My poor sweet boyo… and PUMP. PUMP ANSWERING THE CALL AUGHHHHHH HE WANTS HIS PARENTS BACK IM CRYING. SUSIE AND ABUELO ARE DOING THEIR BEST AND HE'S TRYING SO HARD AND AAAAAAAAAAUGH. Also him getting possessed by Moloch while having Star-Eyes basically debunks the theory of the Star-Eyes being a form of possession which is FASCINATING. Anyway that scene with Susie and Pump got me misty eyed and then during the ending with Skid and Lila i actually genuinely started crying. I just want them to be happy. Please let them be happy. Please. PLEASE.

#spookymisc.txt #spooky month #spooky month 6 #spooky month 6 spoilers #sm6 #sm spoilers #not tagging all the characters cuz theres too many mentioned #anyway CRYING.

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charliehoennam · 12 days

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from cramps to comfort

a/n: my bestie @harmonity-vibes has been having a bit of a tough day and i just wanted to make something nice for her. luv u, hon 💗

pairing: tommy cahill x f!reader

summary: you're on your period, everything sucks so tommy makes it his mission to help you feel better

warnings: mentions of blood, period, fluff, language, not proof-read

Getting off of work is the only thing you've been looking forward to the entire day. All you can think about is getting home and stewing yourself in a nice, hot bath to relief the aching cramps you’ve been feeling.

The day started off terribly wrong right off the bat. You had felt the cramps settling in the previous day and you even set a pad to try and prevent any accidents, but that was a total failure.

You woke up to the large red stain on your bedsheets and you just knew it was going to be one of those days.

As if the staining paranoia and the gut-twisting cramps weren’t enough to make you constantly uncomfortable, you also struggled to deal with your stupid fucking hormones.

Everything and everyone have been annoying or frustrating you for the past couple days. You hate that you feel like ripping everyone’s heads off and having their spleen for dessert. It’s not their fault; you’ve even managed to piss yourself off to the brink of tears. You just can’t help it.

You had no choice, but to brace yourself for the day. You thought about calling in sick, but you figured you could suck it up and face the day. It’d be over quickly and there was so much that you had to do.

After a hot shower to clean yourself up, you got dressed and took your phone from its charger by your nightstand in your rush to catch up with the clock.

Seeing Tommy’s name on the screen almost makes you forget about the pain.

“Morning, beautiful 🥰 Feeling better? Hoped we could have dinner together tonight?”

You read his message, but you have no time to write back. You’re running late thanks to your alarm and mother nature, so you scramble through your apartment to grab everything you could need.

The minute you lock your door, your phone starts buzzing. You lift it up to see who’s calling you and see your boyfriend’s face smiling back at you.

“Hey, Tommy”

“Morning, baby. You missed your alarm again?”

“Yeah, I think I forgot to set it last night. I really passed out, I was so tired.”

He can hear your footsteps going down the stairs as you make your way to the front entrance.

“Are you feeling any better though? You said you were feeling icky yesterday.”

“And now I know why. I got my period.”

“Oh, damn. I’m sorry, baby.”

“It’s not your fault, babe. Just Mother Nature being a bitch.”

“Is there anything I can d-“

“Fucking son of a bitch” you grumble as you push the stuck door to open. “Door never works. Sorry, babe. What did you say?”

“I asked if there’s anything I can do?”

“No, Tommy” you say holding your phone between your shoulder and your ear as you fish for your bus pass in your bag. “Fuck!” you groan. “Why can’t anything go right today?”

“What happened?”

“I gotta go back for my stupid fucking bus pass. I forgot it at home.”

“Baby, lemme give you a ride. I’m just a couple blocks over anyways.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be going to work? I don’t wanna make you late.”

“You won’t be, alright? Just wait there and I’ll pick you up, ok?”

“Alright, Tommy. Thank you so much.”

“See you in ten minutes, babe.”

You hang up and sit on the curb to wait for your boyfriend. The cold air tightens your muscles and you’re reminded of the pain in your core. You took medicine in your morning rush, but apparently, it wasn’t enough to numb it out entirely.

You sit and wait with your head tucked down over your arms. You’re so ready for the day to end.

Tommy soon arrives to pick you up as promised, but the wide grin on his face quickly disappears when he realizes how shitty you’re actually feeling.

It breaks his heart to see you in pain and feeling down in the dumps. He’s got a natural instinct for making people laugh and feel good. Not being able to do even that makes him feel useless.

It reminds him of the mental breakdown his brother went through years ago. Although he's gotten better and was able to return to his family a recovered man, depression hits him from time to time when he remembers what he had to endure.

Tommy never fails to cheer him up and remind him that he's a survivor. He might not be a doctor, but he does whatever he can to remind his loved ones that they are loved.

He listens to you vent on route to your workplace, making encouraging remarks when you mention your driving test is today during your lunch break. Tommy does his best to lift your spirits and reminds you of how well you’ve done during his lessons.

He’d been teaching you for the past couple weeks and, although he says you’ve improved a lot, you’re still nervous about the test because the instructor you were paired up with wasn’t exactly the friendliest of folks. It also didn’t help that Tommy is your boyfriend; he could be a little biased.

As you arrive at work, you thank him for the ride and kiss him good-bye. The hand he sets on your cheek makes you want to cancel the entire day just to be with him.

“Hey… All you gotta do is try the best you can today. And if it doesn’t go well, there’s always a tomorrow.”

His gentle voice chases your worries away.

“I know, baby. Thank you. Wish me luck?”

“All the luck in the world, sweetheart. Lemme know how it goes?”

“I will,” he pecks you once more before you climb out of his truck.

“Dinner at your place or mine?” he questions rolling the window down.

“Uhm, mine? Is that ok?”

“Fine by me, beautiful. Have a nice day. Love you!”

“Love you too” you chuckle and step back to let him roll the window back up. Tommy waits until you’re safely in the building to drive away.

Despite your best efforts, the day does not go as well as you had hoped.

The driving test was a total dud. Your instructor was a grade-A asshole. Your boss is riding you over some stupid report he managed to lose and accused you of not handing it in. Your insides feel like knives are churning in your walls. The headache you already took a second dose of painkillers after lunch still persists.

You can’t stop watching the clock and it seem that, as it gets closer to clock-out, time seems to go by even slower.

While you wither away at work, Tommy heads to the local drugstore. Standing the middle of the aisle, he stares at the vast variety of pads and tampons with a store basket in hand.

"What the f-" he whispers to himself as his eyes roam around in confusion. "Why does there have to be so many?"

His brows furrow like he's trying to build a spaceship. He picks one up to read the packaging. It might as well be in a foreign language because nothing makes sense to him.

He has no idea what difference between a pantyliner and overnight pad is. He doesn't understand why the tampons come in sizes.

Desperately confused, he whips his phone to dial his brother's number.

"Sam, hey! You got a minute?"

"Yeah. What's up?"

"I'm trying to get some lady shit for my girlfriend, but I don't understand any of this stuff."

"Yeah, I've been there before."

"Like how do i know what her size is? Is it like the size of her lady bits?"

"No," Sam chuckles. "It's according to her flow."

"How the fuck do i know that?"

"Just get the medium tampons when in doubt. And I'd suggest taking overnight pads. Some girls don't like sleeping with tampons."

"Alright. What are wings though? Should I get them with or without the wings?"

"They're like parts that open up and stick to the underwear, so it doesn't keep moving around. I always get the ones with wings."

Tommy nods and places the phone to hold with his shoulder as he grabs the products from the shelves and sets them in the basket.

"You should probably take some Pamprin too. Midol doesn't work for every girl."

"What the fuck is that?" he frowns.

"Medicine for cramps, Tommy. And my tip? When you're in her bathroom, take pictures of the brands she uses so you don't forget."

"Fuck, I didn't think of that. I gotta do that. Thanks, man."

With 5 minutes left of the extra hours you had to put in due to the driving test, you gather your things and head to the bathroom for a quick tampon change before starting your journey home on the bus.

You haphazardly wrap your scarf around your neck and hook your jacket on to finally make your long-awaited exit, thankfully the day is done.

The door flies open as you eagerly walk outside, but you freeze in your stride as you see Tommy standing in the parking lot, stood against his truck smoking a cigarette as he waits for you in the blistering cold.

He grins watching your face light up at the surprise.

“How long have you been waiting out here?”

“Not too long,” he lies. He’s freezing his balls off, but he doesn’t want to make you feel bad about it, especially since the intention was to surprise you. “I thought you could use a ride.”

“I most definitely can,” you nod walking towards him as he stomps his cigarette out.

He flashes a dopey smile as he cranes his head to kiss you hello. He tastes like smoke, but you don’t mind it. You’re just happy to see him and to feel his prickly beard on your skin.

“Got a couple things for you,” he smirks down at you.

“Oh? Like what?”

“You gotta get home and see,” he chuckles slyly.

You and Tommy had given each other a copy of your home keys as a special milestone in your relationship. It was a major step for him. His time in prison taught him to appreciate his freedom and personal space more, so allowing you to come and go freely meant he trusts you beyond comprehension.

“Just tell me there’s food. I really don’t wanna cook tonight.”

“There’s food, baby. I promise,” he smirks opening the passenger door to help you climb inside.

After a short straight drive home, you head up to your apartment and gasp as you walk inside.

On the table, you find a beautiful bouquet of flowers set in a pretty vase. That wasn’t there before. On the breakfast bar, you see you a box of pizza along with your favorite chips and chocolates all arranged neatly.

“There’s your favorite Ben & Jerry’s in the freezer too. And,” he pauses to walk over to the kitchen, grabbing a plastic bag off the counter. “I wasn’t sure what products you like better. I don't really understand this stuff but I got you medium tampons, night pads, Pamprin and some fuzzy socks,” he grins proudly. “I just thought they were cute.”

You laugh as you walk over to hug him, tears prickling at your eyes.

“Baby, this is so thoughtful. Thank you so much.”

“Are you crying?” he asks worriedly.

“Yeah, but to be fair, I’ve cried like three time today already. It’s beyond my control. I’m just so tired and in pain all the time.”

“Aw, baby. I’m sorry. That’s gotta be tough. Is there anything else I can do? I-I can run you a bath? Hot water helps, right?” You nod in agreement.

The bubble bath you soak in melts your pain away. It could just be the medicine working, but the warmth of the water provides the relief you’ve been seeking the whole day.

Looking over at the feminine products on the bathroom sink counter, you smile to yourself wondering how you had managed to get so lucky with Tommy.

He might be a little rough around the edges. He smokes, he curses like a sailor, he’s got a temper, but he also takes care of you so well unlike any of your exes ever have before or at least he tries to.

“How you doing in there, sweetheart?” he smiles, snapping you out of your thoughts as he leans in the doorway already dressed in his warm sweatpants and white t-shirt.

“This feels so fucking good. You have no idea.”

“I don’t mean to rush you, baby. But the pizza’s all heated up. You need to eat too.”

“I know, I’m just so tired to move.”

“Yeah? Do you want me to help?” he asks genuinely worried. “I can dry you off and-and, you know…p-put it in you?”

You follow his hands as he reaches for the open box of tampon and takes one out to study it curiously.

“How the hell do you get this inside though?” he asks frowning confusedly as he lifts the box to read the instructions.

“Where’s the applicator? Wait, was I supposed to buy that too? Does that come separately?”

Despite his eagerness to help, you can tell he’s slightly nervous of the idea of putting a tampon in you. The instruction and the product alone have him so baffled.

Your laughs echo through the bathroom as he blushes and chuckles along shyly.

“I’m just saying, I ain’t scared of a little blood.”

“Thanks, babe. But I got it under control.”

#tommy cahill #tommy cahill x reader #tommy cahill x you #tommy cahill x y/n #tommy cahill fic #tommy cahill imagine #tommy cahill fanfic #tommy cahill fanfiction #jake gyllenhaal #jake gyllenhaal fic #jake gyllenhaal imagine #jake gyllenhaal fanfiction #jake gyllenhaal fanfic #brothers 2009

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chrissturnsgirlll222 · 3 months

Text

second, never first

chris x fem!reader

summary - you grew up hating one guy all of high school but suddenly become friends, but as time goes on feelings develop, only its one sided.

warnings - swearing, kissing, use of y/n, mention of family issues, BOYS (no smut… for now lol)

word count - 1k+

NOT PROOFREAD

watching my parents version of love or whatever you call that completely screwed with my mind growing up. i was called home to my house because my mom and dad got into an argument and i needed to mediate. i defused the situation when i got home but they still continued to argue once i got upstairs.

thinking about tonights events was the only thing that distracted me from everything.

i sat in my room with locked doors trying to avoid the voices from downstairs as my mind races with thoughts about chris. yes our relationship was fake but nothing was fake about me loosing my first kiss to him. no one was around, he was sweet, gentle, and it felt amazing.

i dreamt about kissing chris for months and now i had finally done it. it was better than i could have ever imagined. there wasnt too many things i was sure of in my current life but one thing i knew was that i couldnt wait to kiss him again.

school went pretty much the same as yesterday until lunch. chris and i were sitting in his car talking and getting ready to go into school when chris looked behind my shoulder “dont turn around.” is all he said.

grabbing my face he pulls our faces together and we share a tender kiss and he pulls away. i smile at him and then remember what he said before. out of the corner of my eye i see anna and my old friends slowly driving right past our car in the parking lot. once i remember the plan i put my hand up to his cheek and press another kiss to his lips.

my phone immediately goes off.

wednesday 12:05pm

anna: looking very happy together, so much for explaining yourself…

we both look down at the notification and smile to eachother. “its working.” chris says in a singsong voice and i chuckle. we hear the school bell go off and walk in to school, ignoring the obvious stares and whispers as we walk together. we stop infront of our history class and i give him a quick kiss before we walk in and hear slight gasps from people around. i laugh to myself as people fall for it while im walking into class and sit directly in the back.

“shes such a whore.”

“no a god damn home wrecker is what she is.”

“wait shush shes looking at us.”

i hear the girls in front of me whisper as i sit behind them. they are acting as if we weren’t friends just last week.

this pretty much happened every class i walked into. even tho it was fake and both me and chris knew that people were just believing a lie i couldnt help but be bothered by the comments.

its never nice to hear rumors or gossip be talked about you, no matter the circumstances.

i was walking up to my car and saw someone waiting by my door, hoping and praying it was chris but to my surprise it was carson.

“y/n.” he says sternly. my heart drops.

we were supposed to have a date this weekend, but now im ‘dating chris’. “carson im so sorry oh my god.” i say walking up to him. “no dont apologize, i just wanted to see if the rumors were true but that answer was all i needed.” he says starting to walk away. “carson im really sorry you must think im a bitch now.” i say looking down.

“i dont think your a bitch but a warning would have been nice.” he smiles and walk away.

im left feeling a wave of guilt and shame. carson was extremely kind to me on our date and i just completely led him on and then all of the sudden everyone thinks im dating chris.

“you ok kid?” i feel chris’ hand come up to my shoulder from behind as im just standing in front of my car. turning around i cant even look him in the eye, “chris im such a bad person.” i say tear pricking my eyes.

“what? what happened.” he looks at me with concern. “i just talked to carson. we were supposed to have a date this weekend and i havent talked to him since our date and now were dating.” i say bringing my hands up to my face. “or whatever we are doing.” i add on.

“your not a bad person. its not your fault that you were dumped by your best friend this week. your whole life turned around, making time for carson was not something you were obligated to do.”

“i know but i just feel awful you should have heard how he spoke to me.” i break.

i havent cried about any of this shit yet but it all just kind of hit me. the rumors, anna dropping me, me fake dating chris, carson, it all hit me like a bus.

i just stand there crying in front of chris as the parking lot starts to become empty. i feel chris wrap his arms around me. i bury my face into his chest as his hands are around my shoulders and the back of my head. “come on kid. its still november and freezing.” he leads me to my car. getting in the passenger seat he just sits there in silence while i cry in front of him. “chris do you think were making a big mistake, i mean im happy were doing this but what happens to us. how long do we keep this going.” i look up at him.

“we can deal with that when it comes to it.”

i hold on to my steering wheel and tears continue to fall out of my eyes. chris reaches his hand over to me and wipes them for me.

i look at him while he does this for a while, my eyes trail to his lips. i look back into his eyes and hes already starring into mine.

i know its wrong and i shouldnt but i move my face to his and kiss him. he pauses as there is no one around to see us but kisses me back.

the world seems to stop when im with chris. even if everything about our relationship is fake, every time we connect our lips i feel fireworks around me and my surroundings go quiet. i place my hands around the back of his neck and pull away. “more practice.” i smile.

he stares at me with kind eyes and i wipe my eyes once more.

thanks for reading xx

taglist: @sleepysturnss @blahbel668 @alorsxsturn @w4nnabeurs @junnniiieee07 @waydasims @accio326 @bitchydragonparadise @matthewsturnioloswifey @iloveneilperry @stunza @realuvrrr @jennss23 @tubl-mc @lilsstvrn

a/n: hope you guys are enjoying the more emotional side of this story!!

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nut4shuri · 1 year

Text

DATING LETITIA WRIGHT PRT 2!!🤎

Since yall loved the first one ive decided to make a second one.

(this one is a little shorter tho)

Letitia grew up in the UK,meaning she didnt have much knowledge to how things work in the US,cultural,lifestyle,and just a new atmosphere wise.

She's always so in awe by everything about you.

Whys your hair so damn long? Is it so i can pull it."" She said as she combed through the long locks of silky hair.(That 40 inch,yall know it.)

"No it's not so you can pull it,pull my shit its gone be me an you."

She smirked "Or it could just be me in you." she said as she gathered your hair together playfully bending you over the bathroom sink.

"Nasty Ass"

"Where's the rest of your shirt baby" she said as she attempted to pull the cropped tee down lower.

"And yall these are the Good4thebody Blue jeans from shein they're so comfy and they really shape the body" you walked into the camera attempting to give a quick 360 but letita walked in front of you.

"Yall good. Yall dont gotta see all that" she said

"Girl get out my video."

Meeting Your Family

“Y/N who's your friend?“

"Your daughter is just a handful."

Your family chuckled as every one sat at the dinner table,taking in laughs,making jokes,and the atmosphere just felt so right.

Many different Dishes sat on the tables,Greens,Yams,Cornbread,Beans,Chicken,Etc.

"Shes been like that since she was younger"your mom said as she let of a big and vibrant smile.

"Y/N come help mama with the dishes" your mama spoke.

"I like her.."she said making you smile.

"I do to mommy."

"Is she good to you,she seems sweet and full of love"

"Shes amazing,i wouldn't ask for anyone else."

"Well you know what im finna say.."

"Mama..you do know she's a girl-“

“girl yesss“ your mama said laughing.

“I meant like are y'all planning on adoption or something..“

“hmm maybe we haven't really talked about children yet mama.“

"Well you know i want some grandbabies"

You walked and stopped in the door way of the living room. Letita sat talking to your aunts.

"Y/N girl you done got thick on us." Your aunt said as you walked past.

"You been eating good"

"I have."

"She has." Letita looked at you with a smirk.

Yall do fun things like Tik Toks,Vlogs,Pranks And ETC.

“girl no that's wrong way!“ you said as you attempted to teach your girlfriend a new trending dance.

“I be seeing them edits y'all be making about me.“ lettita said as she laid stretched out on the bed beside you,she had her hood on and low eyes. She smiled cocky at her camera making you mug her.

“yeah and y'all better just keep wishing the fuck.“ you said making her chuckle.

“yeah y'all know y/n crazy as he'll. .“

“whatever.“ you said mugging her. She was feeling herself a lil too much.

“come onnn“ you said attempting to pull your girlfriend to the backseat of the car.

She licked her lips and looked at you speaking in a raspy voice “if I come back their,you not gone be able to walk for a month. Now get your narrow ass back up here and put on this seat belt y/n.“

She was always so sweet to you no matter what.making sute you ate and making sure you got ate...

“ma you hungry?“

“ma you want some taco bell?“

“ma whatchu want from the store?“

“I bought you breakfast in bed mamass“

“you want some head?“

She always took you on set whenever she filmed. Making sure you got everything you wanted while their and where was comfortable as you could be.

“you ok ma? You need anything.“ she said as she rubbed your thigh lightly.

You smiled shaking your head and taking a sip of your water sitting back in your chair.

She treated you like the queen you where and would t let up for nun. She constantly reminded you that you where the baddest no matter what.

“ma you dont need no plastic surgery.“

“but..“

“but nothing.“ she said using her hand to raise your chin.

“you beautiful as fuck.“

END

#letitia x reader #letitia wright #shuri x reader #princess shuri #shuri x you #shuri udaku #jamie x reader #shuriri x reader

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arachine · 2 years

Text

— 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞?: 𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐬

+ 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐝: multiple stranger things men

+ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: mature

+ 𝐜𝐰: explicit sexual content

+ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: me when i’m reposting this for the 5th time

+ part one can be found here !

+ 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: the small font is a stylistic choice that is only used for headcanons because they’re usually very short reads!

peter “the 001 for you” ballard

↻ length: crazy men have big dicks. this is a known—a fact. it cannot and will not be debated. why do some of you keep going back to your crazy exes? surely not because of their personalities…but i digress. peter doesn’t even know he’s got a dick of gold swinging in his pants. like he’s aware of its presence, but he never really sat down and thought ‘damn, i’ve gotta really big dick’—probably because he’s too distracted most of the time planning the demise of a bunch of little kids more than half of his age.

coming in at 6 inches flaccid, and roughly 7.4 inches erect, this definitely makes peter the second biggest on the list.

↻ width: he doesn’t really strike me as someone who’s gotta thick cock. i’d like to think it’s on the skinnier side, mostly because he’s very tall and lanky.

↻ color: peter is so pale, it’s literally just a pink stick.

extra:

↻ groomed: hmmm… a part of me wants to say yes. i think he’d groom it down probably for comfort. i can imagine that it’d get very itchy in those white orderly jumpsuits, and so, i feel like he’d groom it down in that sense. he just strikes me as someone who’s very calculated and precise with everything that they do, so having an itch down there would be annoying and he hates to be annoyed.

↻ curved: unfortunately, no :(

↻ veins: yes, plenty. they start to branch down from his pelvic region, all the way to his dick. they wrap around so prettily and when he gets hard, it looks kinda mean and angry!

↻ how he uses it: peter likes to fuck you from the back, with the upper half of your body smooshed down into a hard surface, and your head forced down flat with the palm of his hand. it’s the only position he enjoys that doesn’t involve intimacy. but most of all, he likes it down your throat. because in this position, you’re on your knees, with your head tilted up at him, and tears streaming down your eyes like ribbons.

it gets him so unbelievably hard because he’s the one with all of the control. you sit there and take him—all of him—down your throat because you like it. and he knows you like it too. he knows that you get a rush when he pushes it so far down that you can’t breathe, and he knows you like it when he forces all of his load down your mouth. so, that’s why this is his favorite position. because from up here? he’s a god, and you’re just some bitch that prays to his dick like it’s sunday service.

dmitri “got you walking side to side” antonov or, better known as, enzo

↻ length: if i speak…

ok, listen. i’ve heard some things about those russian men, i’ve seen some things…and i’d like to bet that enzo is one of them. there’s just something in the atmosphere down there, something in the air…something that i think we (the people) should investigate because why and what is causing this big dick phenomenon? anyway, enzo is 6.7 inches flaccid and 8 inches hard. i don’t make the rules, i listen to the voices. and right now they’re telling me to relay the message and i am.

↻ width: baybeee, let me tell you something. his is thick. like, really thick. you just better hope he has the patience to stretch you open first, because if not…well, good luck soldier.

↻ color: i could say pink—but i won’t. i am standing on this hill when i say his cock is tanned and his tip is brown or brown adjacent. it’s somewhere in the brown family okay, just…just trust me on this one. i know russia is cold as fuck but he ain’t that damn pale, so i am not budging with my answer.

extra:

↻ groomed: no. just full, unadulterated man bush over here. how we like it. the girls that get it, get. and the girls that don’t, don’t.

↻ curved: uhm, duh. he is a founding father of the captain hook club!

↻ veins: vein wonderland, just so many of ‘em.

↻ how he uses it: i don’t think it matters what position, you’re getting fucked and you’re getting fucked good. just know you’ll be directionally challenged by the end of it. suddenly, determining left from right, and up from down becomes a challenge tad too difficult.

argyle “let me smoke you out” [redacted] …because he wasn’t given a last name. them damn duffer brothers fucking up my list!

↻ length: i’d like to say his dick is as long as his gorgeous hair (which i’m very jealous of), but it isn’t. i’d like to sit here and tell you that the man who carried season four with jokes has a 12 incher, but i can’t (for i fear the masses will crucify me at the stake). but in all seriousness, argyle has the perfect cock. it’s not intimidatingly large like peter or enzo’s, but it’s not too small either.

argyle rests at a smooth 4.8 inches flaccid and a good 6 inches erect. and whatever he lacks in length—which isn’t much because 6 is perfect for some girlies—he makes up for in girth.

↻ width: i love me some stout men, and when i look at argyle, i just see a man with a fat cock and balls. big fat balls. big nuts. like i want the weight of his dick to be so powerful that it gives me a black eye…but, maybe that’s just me.

↻ color: he has such a pretty complexion, so i just know that it flows from a nice tanned color, into a pretty brown or mauve-y color at the tip.

extra:

↻ groomed: no, he doesn’t have time for that. he only has enough time in the world to roll his blunts and get high. everything else be damned. the male-bush agenda is going strong and we can’t stop now!

↻ curved: to the left, and he really knows how to use it. i know i said before that he didn’t have much time for anything other than rolling blunts, but i lied. he’s definitely got the time to learn how to make a woman cum.

↻ veins: just one that stretches from the side of his cock to the underside of his shaft…

↻ how he uses it: oh, god. i just know he likes a good ol’ mating press. he likes squishing you down into the bed, or the back of his van and getting all deep in your cunt. he says it’s because he’s ‘so high’ and that ‘he’s tired’ every time he flops down on your like that, but you know it’s because he loves seeing you folded like a pretzel beneath him. nothing beats the expression you wear when he hits that spot you like. the one that gets your toes curling, and your legs shaking, and leaves your head all dizzy. he could fuck you like that forever and it still would always feel like the first time.

jonathan “i have a degree in stalking” byers

↻ length: i don’t care for jonathan but i feel like he’s got something a little lethal down there…like not crazy big but he’s definitely working with something, so maybe that’s why nance ignored all the stalking. what if…what if i said he’s got like something close to a 7 incher? like 6.5-6.7? i don’t know… i don’t know but them creepy guys be having good dick. exhibit a: joe goldberg. it must be some sort of requirement…

↻ width: hmm, he leans more on the skinnier side so i don’t think he’d be thick.

↻ color: scarily pink, like raw meat but progressively reddens when aroused.

extra:

↻ groomed: jonathan doesn’t take that much pride in his appearance, and until nance, he probably didn’t do too much grooming. but now he keeps it fairly shaved down.

↻ curved: almost as straight as will, but in other words, yes. it’s got some curve too it but not enough to be a part of the captain hook committee, unfortunately.

↻ veins: two prominent ones that form a ‘y’ shape down his shaft

↻ how he uses it: the real question is how long can he use it? because i don’t think that boy’s got any self restraint. he probably finishes really quickly, but i kinda see him having a lot of stamina—but not in the way you think. i feel like he’d prefer having you ride him, because in this position, he gets to play with your tits and admire your body like the pathetic man he is, but as soon as he cums, his dick is ready to go again before he is. it’s just him lying there, totally overstimulated, and you riding him, milking him for all he’s worth. so, yeah, i’d say he’s not so much as using his own dick, but you using him.

#peter ballard x reader #peter ballard x reader smut #peter ballard smut #peter ballard x you #peter ballard x you smut #peter ballard x y/n #peter ballard x y/n smut #dmitri antonov smut #dmitri antonov x reader smut #dmitri antonov x reader #argyle smut #jonathan byers smut #jonathan byers x reader smut #stranger things x reader smut #stranger things smut

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punchyposts · 5 months

Text

🦋 one-and-only-heike follow

branch a locker rooms are literally lawless, saw 3 different bald men stand in a circle like its some evil ritual

📀 dancing-king follow

imagine working off your ass to become a boxer just to get called a random bald dude

♉ charging-bull follow

@eternalhugz @fizzydrinker come take a look at this

🐻 Eternalhugs follow

how is "damn these bitches are summoning demons" your first thought when you see people in groups of 3

🥂 FizzyDrinker follow

"oh my god, 3 people, IN A CIRCLE?? this is some cult shit!"

89 notes

🥯 gabby-yay follow

hello tumblr!

🥯 gabby-yay follow

fuck you tumblr!

🥯 gabby-yay follow

sorry tumblr!

🗣️ ricksucks75 follow

the 5 stages of grief in a single tumblr thread

9986 notes

🌪️ here-comes-the-hurricane follow

"omg i could never do that" not me though i survived a fucking hurricane

596 notes

🎖️sandy-in-the-flesh follow

Just got back from a match just to see my locker covered in black paint, someone literally fingerpainted on my fucking locker with black paint. you all better count your fucking days

🌙 hondo1000 follow

have you checked if theres any footsteps covered in the paint? there could be some traces left from the culprit

🥖 baguettedude29 follow

we need a formal investigation for sandys locker @wvba-official-blog

🏆wvba-official-blog follow

We will be looking into this, thank you for informing us.

🍀 İrishlad420 follow

eating a cheeseburger

🕶️ RichAndHot21 follow

i hope you choke on it

🍀 İrishlad420 follow

i actually choked on my burger while reading this what the fuck. bitch.

665 notes

🌹 matador26 follow

i have a confession to make: im responsible for the black paint incident.

🎖️ sandy-in-the-flesh follow

count your fucking days im coming for you

🌹 matador26 follow

ok but i can explain myself so i was dying my hair and my hands got messy and ijdjdokenfndkkdlslosoeoenana

🍀 İrishlad420 follow

i think sandy got to him

🐻 eternalhugs follow

may don rest in peace

8812 notes

#punch out #bear hugger #disco kid #glass joe #punch out headcanons #punch out wii #aran ryan #bald bull #super macho man #don flamenco #gabby jay #heike kagero #piston hurricane #piston hondo #mr sandman #nick bruiser #soda popinski

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unoriginal-and-dumb · 5 days

Note

hey its me ryan gosling do you want anything while im at the bread store

Welcome to the bread bank . We sell bread, we sell loafs. we got bread on deck. Bread on the floor.

TOASTED

Shut the fuck up. Listen I jsut need a baguette and a brioche.

We don’t have either of those you can get the gluten free white bread or the potato bread

What the fuck is gluten take that shit out

it’s gluten free

I DONT CARE IF ITS FREE

swear on your fucking yeezys

If you wanna fight we gonna fight

You tryna be on Worldstar?

What you gonna record it?

Yea. I got my dollar store camera

What’s the fuckin situaaation?

What the fuck do you want

I’m the mother fucking

MANAGER

At the bread store?

BREAD

Tell him to take the mother fucking gluten out the bread.

Imma need you to shut that bullshit up chief, we can’t take shit out the bread

Why put it in in the first place. I know y’all smoking that pack

We got crackers, no gluten

FUCK crackers

It’s gluten free

You want the gluten or not?

hell no

You better take the gluten out that damn shit

Look we got

whole wheat, gluten free

TEXAS toast, gluten free

TORTILLA

Fuck all that. What bitch ass country are y’all from. Where they got this bullshit at?

Florida.

I knew it

Look you can either take this yeast or im caking the police-st

I’m going weast

No don’t call the police I got a warrant

Honestly fuck y’all. I ain’t never seen nobody act like this over no bread.

What the fuck are you saying

All I’m saying is

fuck y’all’s bread

fuck the gluten

And fuck them crackers

The crackers don’t have gluten

I’ll take those

Ok that’s gonna be 5

No fuck that I ain’t paying

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infoglitch · 8 months

Text

My very bad takes on rwby ships (the well known ones atleast. And yes most are jaune)

(i do not represent anyone except myself so do not judge others based on me because if you do. That's YOUR problem. Not the peoples you think I represent)

Hoi! I think its time I get crucified. Kidding obviously. This community isn't completely toxic, that much is obvious. Now let's get the obvious ones out the way

Bmblb.

Ok... time for the one I don't wanna touch because I don't have nice things to say.

Ok first. I don't mind this ship. Wanna get that out of the way because unlike most would assume. I don't hate or love this ship.

BUT. I got problems with how it was made fucking cannon. First off, fuck you rt and your "from the beeginning". I don't fuckin care how much you try to cover your incompetent asses. If the pants don't fuckin fit. Don't fuckin wear them!

Second. There was no real build up (you can argue there was. But it wasn't good. Anyone could have done a better job than rt). The only real thing that could "prove" this was planned was that yang "flirted" with Blake. Now you might be saying-

"oh but she explained her trauma to Blake that clearly means shes interested in her" in which. NO. Yes this moment is VERY good basis to build off these twos dynamic. And if rt kept building onto this by having yang slowly break down Blake's wall before eventually getting her to open up, I would be applauding rt for it, hell I would be a fan of it probably because for these two, it fuckin works! Blake clearly is alot more reserved and is rather prickly meanwhile yang is the rambunctious, ass-whooping, badass, and overall awesome ball of joy (sounds weird saying especially since yang is my favorite character). yet rt dropped the fuckin ball the moment sun showed up. Now I love sun and i enjoy black sun. But for the love of GOD if this shit is from the beginning than this clearly proves it was fucking not!

After volume three who did blake spend most of the time with in menagerie and rt was clearly trying to push? Not bmblb! BLACK-FUCKING-SUN. Let's give a round of applause to RT for making the dumbest decision of saying bmblb was planned from the start because bitch it was not.

And what did we get for yang. Oh only her trauma from one losing an arm and the fact she has PTSD from it. Oh yeah let's not forget the fact yang had ABANDONMENT ISSUES. Yet the moment her and Blake meet back up suddenly it doesn't fuckin matter because Weiss managed to somehow fix it by telling yang that Blake had suffered as well (i know that's not exactly what happened but point is I fuckin HATE the scene where Blake rejoins the team and yang is just "OK! I totally still don't have problems with the fact you left me and the team at both my and our teams lowest moment." Personally fuck you rt)

.....where was I again? Oh yeah rwby ships. So before I fuckin lose it at rt's incompetence at story telling, developing a romance and character building- let's move on to..... whiterose.... SON OF A BIT-

Whiterose

Look does the fact I don't care for BB and the fact I hate white rose with such a burning passion make me look like a misogynistic homophobic asshole a bad thing? Yes. But I just can't enjoy this damn ship because I just find it so FUCKING BORING!

I get it, it's "opposites attract". But I just don't care because this is so boring and basic that I can't even be glad a gay ship is actually popular instead of the same boring straight pairings.

I don't care if ruby could help Weiss be less of a bitch. Because that troop has been done to fucking DEATH.

There's not even the fact that it be a middle finger to Weisses dad because guess what he's already got his comupance and is also you know, FUCKIN DEAD. There's no satisfaction from any of this ship for me. Is it a bad ship? Fuck no we aren't even going to cover THAT!

But do I like this ship and hope it'll be cannon? No. And if it is? I won't care and I'm not even gonna celebrate it. You can take a fat piss on my grave before I say whiterose becoming cannon is the only option.

Now what ship is next- oh. Oh no. It's the ship everyone enjoys.

Arkos

Look I'm already gonna get fuckin crucified for my opinion of WR and BB. I don't feel like pissing off even MORE people!

... ok fine I'm saying my opinion.

I don't care for this ship. I don't care for pyrrha and I'm actively glad she is dead.

I won't even elaborate because this ship is dead and will gladly piss on its grave.

Rest in piss arkos. Overrated as fuck!

Next up is... rose garden. Finally a ship I dont mind supporting... but also... one thats gonna be hard to say

Rose garden

Look... their just fuckin cinnamon rolls and I love it!

"but you hated arkos yet both jaune and pyrrha were cinna-"

Uhp! No! None of your bullshit. But I will explain.

I don't care for arkos because I don't care for the fact pyrrha has no development. Not even a personality. She was always "the one girl that has feelings for jaune" which don't get me wrong, jaunes one of my favorite characters but I prefer the character he would be shipped with are actually characters and not... cardboard.

Now thankfully Oscar does not suffer the same fate. He's not infatuated with ruby, he is just a "kid" who just found a wizard stuck in his head and now he's off into a war he never knew about. He was timid (batshit terrified even) and yet when he sees the courage shown by the cast he slowly tries to be like them. with the moment between ruby and Oscar being a moment I fuckin love. Oscar is being honest and asking ruby why, why does she keep fighting? Keep marching into a unknown war that could very well kill her. And ruby simply answers by admitting she Is aware she might die, she even lost good people during the fall of beacon but she kept going because she wanted to be a huntress, she wanted to HELP people.

One of the many reasons I love rose garden is because these two fuckin dorks grow WITH each other instead of the simple "oh I'm the love interest of the main character I'm gonna be a cardboard cutout of the character I should be!".

I can't put it into proper words but I just love rose garden.

Whiteknight

Wait... are we actually talking about white knight and not another ship that I probably don't care about and get crucified because of them?

FUCK YEAH!

Gentlemen and ladies. I am proud to say I am whiteknight trash because damnit I love this ship.

I will say it now this ship is the shit that gives my Tumblr account LIFE. And like rose garden I can't even find words to describe how this ship makes me my brain go up with dopamine. This ship is just my favorite ship. Weiss and jaune have had so much buildup. Starting with jaune being a idiot and trying to flirt with a very much more cold Weiss (HA) To Weiss laughing at jaunes reaction to his voice after the high of depression that was V9! The little smile jaune had as he heard Weiss giggle. To the mother fuckin mature scene that has skyrocketed to memehood! I just love this ship because it is just everything I want out of a romance subplot!

Knightshade

Oh... oh we already at some.... unpopular ships.

Now this isn't exactly ship related as pyrrha was to arkos but I just don't like Blake, so you might be thinking "oh then you must hate knightshade". Well..

You.

Are.

WRONG!

I don't know why I like it I just like knightshade. It's cute, it's got enough crack to make it a crack ship, and the memes! The. Fuckin. MEMES.

God I love knightshade.

Knightfall

So... how do I say this?

I love this ship. Not joking I love this. I'd be peeved if this became cannon but as syndrome once said

"OH COME ON! YOU GOTTA ADMIT THIS IS COOL!" (Man was a salty man and died like a BITCH)

As to why?

The

Fuckin

ANGST!

I could write an entire fanfic of jaune and cinder fighting each other for days on end until jaune fucking loses but instead of killing him cinder just lets him live. To continue to fight as she gets some sick enjoyment from the attention.

That's all. (Also cinder please choke me with your thighs-)

[GLITCH HAS BEEN TEMPORARILY BANNED.]

Alright I'll behave. No thirsting, now onto.... Lancaster.... you know I can't tell if I want to be killed or be celebrated as a fuckin gift because this list is bizarre as fu-

Lancaster

.... where do I begin?

Ok I should probably state this now. I love this fuckin ship despite how... cliche it really is. I want these two dorks to be fuckin happy but I just can't say whole hearted this is my otp. It's just not for me, I'm sorry. But as you all know I have written.. some.. Lancaster fanfics (I am absolute jaune shipper trash, you can Bury me before I say any jaune ship is terrible except THAT! Even arkos ain't bad just overrated!)

But... yes I like this ship that why I'm writing fanfics in the first place I like alot of jaune ships (despite how much I hate THAT!) Because we'll most female characters that I pair with jaune have atleast some form of interaction. (Except silent knight. I just like that one because I like the "small murderous and tall gentle" dynamic. But we aren't covering silent knight.)

Now thats all I could say for Lancaster but there's one more sister that I wanna talk about but first.

For runner up on this list. Drum roll please.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Thank you-

.....

Huh I guess that drummer wasn't as dumb-

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Ok fuck you, your fired!

Now for runner up on this list (mainly because I like it but I don't have much to say-)

Martial arcs

(ha bet y'all rat bastards weren't expecting me to list a gay ship that I liked.)

Now all I have to say is.

🎶let them be fucking gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!~

OH YEAH!🎶

Now onto... my favorite one thats not white knight. The one, the only, the truest form of "what the fuck is glitch snorting"-

Dragon slayer

This is the one ship that has continued to be a ship I love dearly.

To me yang and jaune feel like they would be each other's wing(wo)man and would just be an ride to watch.

There wasn't even any evidence in why this ship could happen. But I still love it. Y'all can call it "just a write inserting themselves as jaune" but let me say this.

Dragon slayer is the Pinnacle of the most wholesome moments! Not even Lancaster can compare to the intimacy of this ship and yes! I AM TALKING OUT OF MY ASS BECAUSE I LOVE THIS STUPID SHIP AND AINT NO ONE TELLING ME I SHOULD BE ASHAMED!

....

Ok I think that's enough talking about Rwby ships for one Day because I've caused three things.

1) probably pissed off arkos, BB, and WR shipers.

2) weirded out quite literally everyone with my batshit insanity.

3) probably started a debate on what I mean when I say "THAT!"

Anyway have a great day/night/or what other time it is bitches, bros, and non-binary rat bastards

I'm off to get crucified because OH BOY did I probably poke the bear.

#rwby ships #rwby lancaster #rwby white knight #rwby arkos #rwby dragonslayer #rwby knightshade #rwby whiteknight #rwby whiterose #rwby bumbleby #rwby bmblb #rwby rosegarden #my opinions are terrible.#rwby knightfall #rwby #martial arcs

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dear-oizys · 11 days

Text

My thoughts on the latest 911 episode

Ashes Ashes

This was written while I was watching the episode.

Ok I really support Tevan or Buck Tommy or whatever it is but why did they cut to Eddie's face when Buck got his award?

Bobby looks like a proud dad at everyone.

Bobby!!!!!! Is getting a Medal of Valour!!!!!!!! Bobby you deserve it so much!!!!!!!

Bro. What the fuck?? You deserve it too!!

Ravi you glorious bastard. I love you.

Gerrard fuck you. Die. Please die.

Chimney!!!!!!!! Go off king!!!! You're fucking awesome!!

Why the fuck is the councilwoman here?? You bitch. Please tell me she doesn't mess up Mara's adoption??

Nooooooooooooo. I'm literally dying. Bobby you are not resigning. Please. Why the fuck are you retiring??

You are a goddamn hero Bobby.

Athena I love you. So much. So so so much.

I can just see Bobby's tiredness. I can really feel it. Peter Krause. The man that you are.

Eddie. I love you. But honey what are you doing. I love you. But please get some help. Please.

Do I kinda actually like Kim??

Sometimes I forget that it's Angela Fucking Basset on this show. I love her so much. She is so awesome.

I'm gonna cry. I'm actually crying. Bobby is being a dad to everyone while this sad music is playing in the background.

What the hell. I can't see the screen or the words I'm typing. Relying on autocorrect to help me now.

Bobby just handed buck the groceries so that he will cook for the team after he leaves. Why. Just why did I start this show?

Your work here is not done Bobby.

Bobby is literally Buck's father and Buck is Bobby's son. I can't see anything rn

What the hell is Kim doing here. I'm still crying. Let me compose myself.

Buck!!!! Confront Eddie!!!! What the hell!!!! Omg!!!! Buck you did NOT just say that. Damn. He's not holding back!!? Edmundo. Something is definitely going on. Don't say nothing.

Buck is not holding back anything today. Damn.

Mara and Denny!!!!!! I love them?!! Adoption hearing is cancelled. I hate you councilwoman Ortiz. You are a complete and utter bitch. I hate you so much

Thank god. Eddie told Kim. Thank God. Wow. I kinda feel bad for Eddie even though his actions are kinda shitty. But I hope he gets better and gets the help he needs.

Was she Eddie??? Was she the love of your life??? Ok I feel really bad for Eddie.

Ok I feel so bad for Amir. But I am 100% sure Amir is gonna burn down their house.

Peter Krause and Angela Bassett. I love you guys. I feel so so bad for Athena and Bobby.

Wow. That woman is just killing Hen. Wow. How do I help Hen?? How? Please someone take care of that woman.

What. What. They're taking Mara away????????? What. The. Hell????

What the hell?????? What is Kim doing here??? Did she have bangs before????? Is it even Kim??? What the hell is she even doing?? Is it kim or not????????? What is happening??????? Is he hallucinating??? Ryan Guzman. You are so good.

Eddie. You are not broken. Eddie.

Oh my god. Oh god. Chris. Shit. This is not good.

Bobby's dream is terrible. Its not even a dream. Its a fucking nightmare for him. No no no. This is my happening. No. Oh god. Oh my god. No. Please. What the hell. Bobby. Athena. Please escape guys please. Athena please be okay. Please. Oh thank god. Athena is okay. Is Bobby having a heartattack???????? His heart stopped??????

Picture of me during this episode

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antiwhores · 2 years

Note

Hello is it ok if I can please request headcannons for when bakugo slowly falls in love with fem reader

Bakugou slowly falling in love with reader.

Gotchu bruh, enjoy. I got somethin wrong with my stomach btw yall. Shit hurs.

Minor bullying, smut, fluff, pure love, unedited.

You both started out as aquantences.

He didn’t know you, you were an extra in his everday middle school life. But he knew you existed by the end of the year.

He didn’t really bully you; you weren’t one of Deku’s friends nor were you necessarily a loser. You had your own small friendgroup that you chilled with.

He started to really notice you in the last year of middle school.

You started to get braver with the people around you and speak to them.

So you were fairly well known.

Still not significant to him though.

You got paired with a couple of prodjects with him since your desks were near each other so he was forced to talk to you.

No matter how rude he was to you, you were calmed though. You never cried, never went into a fit of rage, never took serious offense, nothing.

It was weird as hell.

“You’re so fucking dumb. No wonder no one likes you.” He would utter at the smallest mistake. You’d not even bat an eye as you hummed to his conclusion. “Im very well liked. Also, im more of an average smarts type of person.” Then you would proceed to rant on about your grades and your academic record. He would give up.

He started to take his bullying a step up, he needed to see a reaction for some reason.

He dumped your pencil bag on the floor as his friends laughed in the background. “Oops, your fatass pencil case got in my way. Better pick it up now, asshat.” His tone was laced with a condescending tone, yet you would only glance at him briefly before continuing your work. He clicked his tongue, “Hey! Im talking to you!” He grabbed you by your hoodie and dragged you out of youe seat. Your expression never faltered as you looked into his angry eyes. “You looking down on me?!” You blinked at him, “No, I just don’t feel like picking ‘em up right now. I forgot to do my homework last night and now I have to speedrun it ‘cause if my grade drops again I’ll be in the ground.”

He slams you into your locker, “Gimme some money twerp, I need a drink.” You pull the inside of your pockets out to show you have nothing. “I’m broke, not a single cent to my name right now. I blew it all on shit on Amazon. I bought a book about a girl who eats cactus, 100 mini corgscrews, a variety pack of European candy, magnesium, a snow cone making machine, an old fashioned compass, a bike horn that makes that clown noise, a vibrating back massager, 4 pounds of chunky water-“ “ALRIGHT SHUT THE HELL UP DAMN!”

This constant cycle goes on until the end of the year.

You both are working on a project together when you look up at him. “You’re going to UA right?” He perks up at that, “Of course I am, whats it to you?” You twirl your pencil, “Same, omg twin.” “WHAT?!”

Turns out you were auditioning for the support course. Bakugou is less than pleased about this. He still finds your nonchalant attitude annoying, giving you the name Corpse to bitch about your unresponsivness, but you’re growinf on him. He’ll never admit that though.

In the first couple weeks of school you both dont talk much. Mostly cause he doesn’t want to.

One day you just sit at his lunch table and start eating like its nothing.

“What the fuck do you want Corpse?” “We’re gonna be working together soon. Thought I’d touch the cold water before diving right in.”

The project is when he starts to notice the little things about you.

His friends always mention how pretty you are, hes starting to recognize that too.

You smell good, like honey and mint mized together to make a sweet concoction that could get him drunk.

You were very observent. You noticed his small habits and connected them to bigger ones. This is how you learned to be cool with him.

Your eyebrows would furrow slightly when something didnt make sense.

He hated how much he was paying attention.

By the second year he could call you his friend (in his mind of course) without denying it or acting disgusted.

You started to become friends with his friends and they invited you to hang out with them whenever the chance arose.

You sat at the same table as him, always sitting next to him.

You would sometimes just come into his room just to chill. He’d complain but he secretly didn’t mind. You never snooped, you just chilled.

You started to talk more and show more emotion around him. He would see more emotion than he’s ever saw in you. A laugh that would make him blush red, an occasional flirty tone, eurphoria whenever anything super good happened, etc. This only happened in private though. Never with other people.

He started to develope a crush on you.

You were a touchy person and he was used to that. But all of a sudden the hand touches to ground him or the leaning in to see what he was doing started to make his heart beat so fast.

He wrote it off as allergies and mindless lust until the 3rd year when he couldn’t take it anymore.

Thats when he finally confessed. And you accepted with a warm smile and a kiss on the cheek.

Dating came naturally to you too. You were happy in eachothers presences and you both could handle each other the way no one else could.

He wouldn’t really show any steamy affection until your 3rd year at UA. You got kisses eventually and cuddles. You also got hugs and make out sessions.

By the 3rd year he just couldnt take having to palm himself to pictures of you anymore.

He then finally got the courage to initiate freaky shit.

At first he resided with just humping you until he came in ropes into his pants. Then he started to feel your titties and grope you with clothes on. Then he would let you palm him and jerk him off until he splattered all over your hand. And then after long debate, he was allowed to touch you too. Then came the oral pleasure. Then the clothes came all the way off and they mixed it all together. And then FINALLY you two had mindblowing sex.

After that he realized his favorite food was you and vice versa.

By the beginning of 4th year you two were attached at the hip.

You showed him everything, he knew everything about you and vice versa.

You two were madly in love. Nothing could stop that.

By the time you both were out of school he was ready to marry you. He couldn’t see himself with anyone else.

And he finally did it about 2 or 3 years after school.

You said yes, of course.

The wedding was themed a mixture or his favorite color and yours.

And the rest is a blur, a blur spotted with hearts and stars until they both passed away together at an old age.

#mha x reader #bakugou headcanons #bakugou katsuki #bakugou thirst #bakugou x reader #bakugou imagine #bakugou smut #bakugo x reader #katsuki x reader #mha smut

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cxhleel108 · 1 month

Text

LITG S8 Thots for this week: How eventful…

• Sienna don’t be mad cuz you decided to spread them legs for Jin and people found out. Be sneakier next time💁🏽‍♀️

• Outfit time!

• This a little too prom for me no shade.

• Gorgeous! Stunning! Magnificent!

• Not Oakley just wanted to check on us. The rest of you boys gon have to step your game up Idk what else to say atp.

• Jin kinda evil omggg why he lie to them bitches for no reason???

• OH NO HE DID KISS SIENNA NOW WE CAN NEVER BE TOGETHER😱😱😱😱😱

• Yeah you are high on my list Liam…my hit list.

• Wait she’s cutesyyyyy!

• Hazel real lucky I like her cuz I coulda just aired her tea out just now.

• Exactly! So glad you get it now😁

• Here Theo go admitting he has a crush on me yet again…are we still supposed to gag at this?

• And I’m annoyed because of the both of you so how about you either grow up or break up!

• GUYS PLEASE STOP MAKING SHAWN PINE AFTER ME ITS ILLOGICAL AND ITS BECOMING VERY AGGRAVATING!

• Our clip was actually so meaningless help.

• Liam unless you want me, me, me to get Oakley to break you, you, you in half I suggest you shut it!

• Why do y’all want me to help you pick who to get with??? Why???

• FINALLY MY SUFFERING ENDS!!!

• Wow every couple here really sucks except us LMAOOOO.

• I love Bea but I really cannot feel bad for her when she complains about Liam. Girl you brought that sorry ass nigga in here like what😭😭😭 Kyle was right there.

• Aww chin up Sie-monster! I’m sure one of the demons in Hell are ready and willing to give you the love and devotion you need😊

• Outfit time!

• This the first sleepwear we’ve gotten that ain’t just a lace bra and coochie cutter thong I’m cryinggg.

• Ain’t no way Liam just creamed all over me and Oakley…sorry my intrusive thoughts made me type that😭😭😭

• You telling me this bitch heard the shower running, obviously indicating someone was in here, and then just decided to walk in…ok.

• Girl why she mad when she the one that walked in on me and my nigga fucking😭

• Hazel…not Liam…no girl you better than this!

• Claudia and Hazel look so damn good in their heart-rate challenge outfits my gawd! Thick thighs DO save lives😩😩😩

• Outfit time!

• Wish I could BEEEEEEEEEEEEE…part of your woooooorrrlllddd!

• Yeah this clears the mermaid fit I’m sorry.

• Hari had to watch Hazel give all her attention to Liam of all people ooouuu I know he wanna kill himself now.

• Damn not only is she not pretty but she also stupid, bless her heart.

• Jin’s football outfit made my 🐱 jump a lil bit jrkslashdhdkd sorry.

• I just busted out laughing.

• Exactly what I asked for😈

• I’m so glad we got to redo our dance cuz we ain’t get freaky like I wanted the first time.

• He mid as hell I’m sorry likekfjfjsksmak. This the best y’all could come up with for the last bombshell?

• Liam at this point just start fucking the boys sis cuz this the 3rd time you done did some sus shit.

• Oh lord I’m so tired of these anticlimactic ass cliffhangers. We already know ain’t no other bitch in here raised our partner’s heartbeat but us, stop playing!

#i fear the stale part of the season is approaching #can’t believe it’s almost over #litg #love island the game #litg tempting fate #litg s8 #litg season 8

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