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edenavari · 3 months

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On the Matter of Mirrors

Eddie is still trying to convince Steve he and Nancy are made for each other. It comes up, like, everytime they hang out, which is all the time, because Steve couldn’t stay away if he wanted to. He doesn’t, but he also wishes Eddie would quit trying to set him up with someone else.

‘Cause, like, here’s the thing. Steve likes girls. He also, he realized sometime after Robin came out to him, quite likes boys. He likes Eddie. Like… Really likes him. Practices pick-up lines in front of the mirror kind of like. Wears a little more black and tousles his hair just right to give himself a subversive edge he never used to have, just the right amount to trigger a subconscious response without appearing to be tweaking his fashion sense at all. Has mastered the art of wearing eyeliner without looking like he’s wearing it, and it took him a fucking while to work up the nerve to go out like that, not that anyone but Robin noticed.

But Eddie just will not drop the Nancy case, no matter how many times Steve tries to stir the conversation away from her, and between his budding crush and the crushing fear that it’s never gonna be anything but one-sided, between the slightest of sore spots Steve still sports about the way things with Nancy ended in the first place and the bitter edge of never managing for something to start with Eddie after weeks of efforts, it’s beginning to grate, right?

“So what’s the problem?” Eddie insists, bounding circles around Steve like an eager puppy, and something in Steve’s ribcage snaps.

They’re in Steve’s room studying when it comes up once a-fucking-gain. Eddie is taking accelerated summer classes so he can finally graduate by September, and by some inexplicable fuckery of fate, despite Steve’s own dirt poor records, he’s turning out to be a decent tutor. Something about Eddie managing to focus in a way a classroom environment never allowed him to. Maybe because most teachers and over half the student body were openly hostile at worst and aggressively ignoring Eddie at best, all because of his last name or his tattoos or his loud brassy cheek.

All the same, Eddie does get distracted fairly easily, and an hour in, he’s bounced off the bed and started rattling reasons Nancy Wheeler is definitely Steve Harrington’s soulmate. Steve groans noncommittally, gets up to grab his water from the desk and takes a long swallow as Eddie keeps needling him.

“You’re the problem, Eddie,” he all but snarls, when he really meant it to come out exasperated at worst.

He snarls, though, and Eddie stiffens, his eyes going cold and hurt and the corner of his mouth turned down in anger.

“Right,” he says, and it sounds so casual Steve thinks he won’t make a big deal of his tone after all. Fool’s hope. “I’ll get out of your perfect hair, then,” Eddie spits out as he makes for the door, only Steve stands in his way, hands up in surrender.

“Wait, I didn’t mean it like that,” he starts.

“No, you’re right, it’s none of my business,” Eddie interrupts, but he steps back, gesturing wildly as he speaks. “It’s not like we’re even friends, you just got saddled with me because of Dustin. We saved the world together? Big deal! My involvement was incidental, really, more of an inconvenience than any kind of help. Why would you want my opinion, of all people’s, right? Even by this point. Get out of my way, I’ll quit stepping on your toes. Go on!”

“I don’t want you to go, Eddie,” Steve tries again.

“Just want me to shut up, is that it? Not really my strong suit, you might have noticed.”

Steve can’t help smiling. “I have noticed.”

It only seems to rile Eddie up even more, throwing his hands out and making to step around Steve again. “Man, what do you want from me?”

“Is this allowed?” he breathes out, extending the last word beyond its scope.

Which puts him within reaching distance of Steve, who grabs him by the lapels of his jacket and presses him, careful not to jostle him too bad but firm enough to counter his manic strength, against the wall. He doesn’t know what to say, so he doesn’t say anything, just presses a touch too close, lets himself imagine that he’s going to close the distance entirely, cocks his head and licks his lips and hangs there in a way he hopes spells it out for Eddie without inducing any kind of panic.

Eddie, hands still up at shoulder height, lets out a little huff close to a whimper when his back hits the wall, bracing himself for a hit that would never come, and maybe some part of him knows this, because he doesn’t look scared or angry anymore, just kind of confused with a side of grief, and it doesn’t take two seconds for him to start to look intrigued, maybe even, if Steve allows himself a little optimism, interested.

His lips part on a sharp inhale, and they’re close enough to smell each other’s skin, and Eddie’s eyes drop to Steve’s mouth, a little watery and out of focus, edging forward in a way that could just be a twitch, just a consequence of holding his breath the way he is, plausibly deniable, subconscious no doubt, only when Steve mirrors the movement, he does it again, gaze moving up and down from Steve’s eyes to his lips and back and back again without blinking, until twitch by twitch their noses graze and their mouths connect and Steve closes his eyes and concentrates on maintaining that seal over Eddie’s plush, pliable pout, because if he didn’t focus, he’d be way, way overeager for a first kiss.

He moves back after several seconds with a shaky exhale, swallows as he finds Eddie’s eyes again. His blood is thrumming in his fingertips, somehow he feels both cold between his shoulder blades and warm down to his toes, and if Eddie looks at all put out he thinks he might never manage another mirror in his life.

The look on Eddie’s face is pure disbelief.

Steve shrugs, not quite settled on the matter of mirrors. “I thought you made a point of breaking the rules?”

A glint starts to wake in Eddie’s eye that’s looking more delighted by the minute.

“Just as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone.”

“We’re in the clear, then,” Steve whispers, leaning in, just a smidge.

Both of Eddie’s hands sink into his hair as he pulls him into another, much steamier, kiss. Steve lets his fists fall from Eddie’s lapels and knot over his back instead, lets his mouth drop slightly open, an invitation Eddie wastes not a second to follow through on, teeth scraping and back arching like he wants to sink all the way into Steve, and by the time they’re parting, breathless, cheeks flushed, mouths stinging, Steve’s one hand is braced against the wall, holding himself up, knees too weak to do the job on their own.

“I thought you could barely stand me,” Eddie heaves.

“I can’t,” Steve admits. “You drive me nuts. Just not how you thought.”

Eddie frowns, suddenly serious.

“You should forget all about Nancy.”

Steve frowns too. “That so?”

“Hm-mm. She’s taken, man. And not all that. You need to move on.”

“Damn,” Steve sighs. “Am I being desperate?”

“Pathetic,” Eddie nods, barely a whisper against Steve’s lips, and they break into smiles in tandem. “Forget all about her,” Eddie repeats.

“Who?” Is the last word Steve gets out. Then he’s busy enough he really does forget.

When he fixes his hair in the bathroom mirror in the morning, he walks away with a wink.

Give us a kudos, if ye dare x

#steddie #steddie fic #steddie ficlet #steve x eddie #steddie oneshot #first kiss

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thefiery-phoenix · 10 days

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Hi I have been reading all your works and I'be got to say that its really good I mean like wow anyways I would like to request a platonic y'know fix with the oldies of lookism I mean Charles and tom Lee meeting up and Charles bragging about his child (the reader) there new awards , involvement in the business or you can do the geniuses instead of the reader being a genius she's named as the prodigy and is literally so smart like 400 IQ type shit and she literally saves the company's reputation, every genius admits shes smart and kinda like a learning genius where she doesnt have to copy it but masters whatever she wants to learn isnt a copy genius btw but can you like make the personality of the reader a bit like James like reserved nonchalant etc anyways thank you

Hello and thank you for liking my work, it really does mean a lot to have your support❤️

THE PRODIGY

"Long time no see Choi'' spoke a hulking and imposing man that stood tall and towered over the frame of the CEO of the HNH group as Charles glanced up from his newspaper to see none other than Tom Lee, the owner of the White Tiger Job Centre (Baekho HRM), known for being the best in the business to get rid of people in a sneaky and quick manner. "Oh please, you act like we haven't seen each other in years when we just met 2 months ago'' scoffed Charles slightly but a small amused smirk formed on his face. "You look happy...whose life did you screw over, you old crone?" chuckled Tom as he took out his grey bottle from his trench coat pocket and gulped a large sip of his alcohol from it. "Oh come now, you act like I'm a criminal or something...but I didn't screw anyone over yet...for now'' said Charles as he headed over to the table nearby and shuffled a few papers till a picture of you fell out from the stack of papers as Tom's interest piqued up and peered at your picture in an interested manner

"I didn't know you started hiring girls to do your dirty work Choi...props to you for following gender equality and such'' grinned Tom as he stared at the picture. "Ah, that's my newest recruit. One of the prized gems I've had the fortune of stumbling upon. Her name is Y/N L/N'' spoke Charles proudly as the lines around his eyes crinkled slightly out of pride for you. "This is the first time I've ever heard you praise someone other than those brats Gun and Goo...I wonder what makes this one here so special that has you singing her praises'' questioned Tom as he raised a brow in curiosity, awaiting for Charles' explanation. "In a way, she's kind of like James Lee...an exceptionally skilled and talented fighter, I daresay even stronger than Gun and Goo... she has training of the Indian martial arts called Kallaripayyatu along with Krav Maga which makes quite the deadly combination when used in combat. The advantage of her using her skills is that no one can predict what she might do next. She's even more unpredictable than Goo and James because if someone faces them a couple of times they'd be able to read their attack patterns with ease. But it's different for Y/N, you'll never know when she'll whip out a chain or a knife or just fight with her bare hands... that's what makes her quite the enigmatic fighter, she isn't afraid to fight dirty as well''

"She sounds like quite the catch then...'' muttered Tom as he continued to drink his drink and stared at your picture. "She's even won an award for her literary works as a writer, the Lindenberg award and is quite the over achiever if I must admit...a real prodigy of a girl. My daughter took an instant liking to her as do I. She simply cannot stop singing her praises'' replied Charles as Tom had an amused smirk on his face. "Neither can you and the amount of stalking you do makes me look sane'' answered Tom with a cackle. Charles smirked as he replied "That was mere research...her personality is a literal carbon copy of James, completely reserved and shy and nonchalant'' "Ah, so you're dealing with a touch me not of an introvert then eh, good luck getting that one to open up to you'' said Tom as he snickered and gulped down the last sip of his drink before he stuffed his bottle back into his pocket and glanced at Charles

"Doesn't matter though, I'll have to make her open up...what she's achieved to do for my company was more than what any of the Worker's affiliates could do, they're all mere useless inexperienced children in front of her...'' scoffed Charles as he hummed slightly and his gaze left your photo to focus on the view of the night city before him, several feet below him, taking pride in the fact that he'd gotten to a point where people had to look up to HIM. "You better be careful though...a little birdie told me that Steve Hong was looking forward to meeting with Y/N L/N'' said Tom with a slight grin as Charles' posture stiffened and his jaw clenched as he narrowed his eyes. "What did you say?" he asked in a soft voice, his tone laced with malice and hidden fury. 'That old bastard...if he ever thinks he can have Y/N and steal MY prodigy from me, he's got another thing coming...he can't have her..no...I'll make sure of it...' Charles thought to himself as Tom smirked, looking like he'd just read Charle's thoughts. "You look awfully nervous of losing your beloved little prodigy...wouldn't it be a shame if someone were to snatch her up like the little feather that she is for someone else to use?" asked Tom, his cheshire cat like grin evident on his face and his eyes glinted with malicious amusement, enjoying the sight of Charles Choi on the verge of losing his cool and his patience on the line

"Let me enlighten you with a little story...a while ago Eugene tried to recruit Y/N to join the Workers and he somehow thought he could keep it quiet from me but failed. Why else do you think I decided to meet with Jake Kim, the son of Gapryong Kim that night? We both know it wasn't out of sheer pity...Y/N is my ticket to destroy the crews and the Workers and expand my empire'' said Charles as he continued to stare at the city beneath him, just how he liked it, everyone underneath him, serving him. "I sometimes forget you're more unhinged and ruthless than me...I can't say if I'm shocked or proud'' spoke Tom as he trailed off and looked like he was pondering about something. "This is coming from someone who strips his clothes off and challenges his employees to a fight to the death. It's a miracle your so called employees lasted for so long'' replied Charles as he smirked at Tom. "Touche old Choi'' grinned Tom

"I'm planning to make sure she stays close to us...to me...at my residence. Of course, I shall fund for her schooling and such'' said Charles after a few moments of silence. "Doesn't she have parents?'' asked Tom with a quirked brow as his amused smirk grew even wider. It was such a sight to see someone like him be so obsessed about someone like you, and rightfully so, Tom could understand his friend's obsession with you. You were a natural gifted fighter, the sort of fighter people would literally KILL and spill blood to have on their side. "Do you think that concerns me? Her father is a software engineer and her mother is a stay at home housewife...hardly what I call a challenge. Her potential will be wasted if she continues to live with them. I've tried to convince them before to send her to me and they had the guts to refuse me even after offering them a fortune...I am Elite...if it means I have to get rid of her parents and have their blood spilled then so be it. It will also prove as a warning for anyone foolish enough to attempt to lure her to them. Besides, I've already spilled blood before, it's nothing new. What's a bit more going to do?'' answered Charles, his eyes glinting with malice as his smirk widened. Tom was now convinced you really were the prodigy he'd heard so much about from the people around who kept on yapping about you. He was just glad he managed to wring out the information from Charles which saved him tons of amount of research as he mentally decided to pay you a visit some day...even if it meant dealing with Choi's wrath which he could always deal with later. The main goal on Tom's mind now was how to get you on HIS side...

#yandere charles choi #platonic yandere charles choi x reader #platonic yandere charles choi scenarios #platonic yandere charles choi imagines #platonic yandere charles choi oneshots #platonic yandere charles choi headcanons #yandere charles choi scenarios #yandere charles choi headcanons #yandere lookism #yandere lookism characters #yandere lookism characters x reader #yandere lookism x reader #dark lookism characters x reader #dark lookism characters #dark lookism x reader #dark lookism #lookism headcanons #lookism x reader #lookism

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wooahaes · 8 months

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out for delivery

pairing: none? non-idol!svt with a mention of gn!reader

prompt: that one post i made about reader asking for them to send their cutest delivery guy

genre: comedy. this is just silly stuff teehee

word count: 1.4k~

warnings: food mentions. svt arguing about who is the cutest. i didnt proofread this at all btw its just supposed to be silly goofy fun.

daisy’s notes: this has been in my drafts for over two months.

Junhui was the one who read off your order to the others, only to stop when he saw the special instruction in the delivery spot: send ur cutest guy, pls.

Of course, being someone with access to the internet, Jun had heard of this kind of thing before. People who throw in instructions like that for fun, or people who ask for things to be drawn on their to-go boxes (he always did those when they popped up--his art skills might not be perfect, but he can draw a little cat saying ‘enjoy your food!’ any day), or sometimes the occasional message from someone to another (the ‘person loves you’ or ‘person says to get well soon’ kind of deal). But this? Here? Well...

“Which one of us is the cutest?” He mused aloud, catching Jeonghan’s attention as he stepped away from the kitchen to wipe the sweat off his brow.

“What?”

Jun nodded toward the screen and your specific instruction. “They asked for a cute delivery guy. Who’s working today?”

Jeonghan paused, musing on the question. “Soonyoung, Wonwoo, Vernon,” he listed off, although he continued to wrack his brain to see if that Namjoon guy was in as well. Nah--Maybe on the weekend when they’re busier and need the extra hands, but three already is kind of overkill as it is.

(Not that any of them are complaining, that is: they’re still getting some sort of payment for all of this.)

“It doesn’t say cutest delivery guy,” Jeonghan said. “Just our cutest guy.”

Seungcheol looked up from his clipboard as he came back, brow raised. “Me?”

Jeonghan scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Obviously, I’m the cutest one here. I’ll make it.”

It was at this point that they’d started gathering the attention of everyone currently in (which, today, had been everyone except for Soonyoung, who was still out on a delivery across the city).

Seungcheol stared at him, “You don’t work delivery--”

“So?” Jeonghan said. “I don’t mind going--”

“You don’t, either,” Jun piped up. “I could run if I need to--”

Seungkwan was finally the one to speak up, “What are you talking about?”

For a moment, the three said nothing. If everyone got into this conversation, it’d be an all-out bloodbath, especially with Seungkwan taking part. Yet Wonwoo, who had been sitting nearby, enjoying his few minutes of rest after his own series of deliveries, looked up.

“Someone asked for a cute delivery guy, and they’re debating about it,” he shrugged, looking back at his phone--although the tiny smile on his face was still evident. The rotten fucker--

“I can go,” Joshua spoke up, as if he wasn’t literally working on your order alongside Mingyu. “Just gimme a sec, I’ll change shirts.”

Seokmin, who had been busy rolling out pizza dough, looked up. “Is this really a debate? I think we all know I’m the cutest one here...”

“Both of you work in the kitchens,” Seungcheol said, “you can’t leave.”

“All of us are in today, and it’s slow right now,” Chan said, already washing his hands of flour, ready to remove his apron in a moment. “You guys won’t miss me.”

“Who said you were going?!” Seungkwan whipped around, “If anyone goes, it should be me! Everyone who comes in tells points out how cute I am!”

Mingyu looked up, a cocky smile tugging at his lips. “Who gets asked out the most here?”

Silence. The motherfucker...

And then Minghao looked up. “They said cutest. Not hottest. Which eliminates all of you--”

“I’m very cute!” Seungkwan huffed, “That’s why it should be me.”

Vernon looked up from his phone, yet another delivery boy who probably should just take the order when it’s ready. “I dunno. I think I’m pretty cute. I could do it. Plus,” he shrugged, “kind of my job--”

“You’re hot and you know it,” Jeonghan spoke up. “Hao has a point. They requested the cutest guy--which means it’s down to Seungkwan, Chan, and I.”

Minghao scoffed, rolling up his sleeves. “Just you three?”

Mingyu had thrown an arm around Jihoon’s shoulders, dragging him from his quiet spot of observation straight into the conversation. “Jihoon should be included, too.”

“Oh? What if this person flirts with him?” Jeonghan chuckled. “They’re paying in cash and Jihoon would probably walk off without it.”

Jihoon’s face turned red. “I’m not that bad--”

“You almost did it last time you had to work the window.”

“They were too upfront!” Jihoon huffed, his face slowly turning red. “If they had said to you what they said to me, you’d run, too! That’s why Jun had to take over!”

“They said you had pretty eyes!”

Jihoon’s face burned with embarrassment. “It was the way they said it...”

As if in his own world, Jun quietly mused aloud, “I think I’m pretty cute,” as he continued looking over the order again.

“And if Jun’s cute, then I’m cute.” Joshua wiped his hands down his apron, turning back. “Jun, does the order say anything else?”

He shook his head. The only note you had put in was the note they were debating about now: send ur cutest guy, pls. Nothing more, nothing less. Hell, none of them even knew why you’d asked for their cutest guy. Was it a joke? Were you kind of desperate for something? Was this going to be the really bad intro to a porno? The questions persisted.

Seungcheol had been the one who pulled your pizza from the oven when it was time, boxing it up and carefully sealing it. “Who’s delivering it?”

Immediately, several people had volunteered.

He rolled his eyes. “Wonwoo, Vernon--”

“I’ll do it,” Seungkwan insisted further. “They asked for someone cute!”

Vernon raised his brows. “Dude, what the hell--”

“You know you’re hot, shut up.” Seungkwan turned. “If they want someone cute, then it’s only between a few of us. Not including Jeonghan.”

Jeonghan gasped, turning around as he pressed a hand to his chest. “I’m angelic--”

“That’s a lie and you know it!”

The bell chimed as Soonyoung made his way in, going completely ungreeted as the conversation continued. He looked to Wonwoo, who merely shrugged in exchange before watching as Minghao began to make the very well formulated argument that he was the cutest (his fairy-like giggle was direct proof, in his own words--the others called him cute all the time for it). Which caused Seungcheol to argue back that if he was including laughs as evidence, then his own could count because plenty of people found it endearing. Soonyoung said nothing, walking over to where the orders were as he began looking through them for another delivery since his break would come later tonight.

“I’m not saying your laugh isn’t cute,” Seungcheol said, “I’m saying you can’t use it as proof when all of us have cute laughs!”

“Some of you sound like a hyena,” Minghao rolled his eyes, “and some of you are too ‘hot’ to be cute! You talk about how handsome you are all the time--”

“Stop, you’ll make him pout,” Jeonghan chuckled from nearby, “and then he’ll really start insisting he’s the cutest of us.”

The bell chimed again, and Jun merely glanced up to see that it was only Soonyoung leaving. He turned back. “People tell me I’m cute. I’m carefree.”

“Childish cute doesn’t count,” Seungkwan said, lips pursed. “I’m cute because of my mannerisms.”

“The same mannerisms you get mad at Soonyoung for imitating,” Seokmin muttered under his breath, only to earn a deadly glare from Seungkwan. “You do!”

Wonwoo looked back down at his phone, wondering if he should have been recording this entire conversation. “I think I’m cute.”

“One of us has to go,” Joshua spoke up, “before their food gets cold. And I think I should do it because I’ll be the fastest--”

“Dude,” Vernon looked up. “I’m pretty fast on my bike.”

“It’s a bike, we’d all be fast on it,” Minghao scoffed. “Why aren’t one of them doing it?” Minghao gestured toward Wonwoo and Vernon. “They’re the delivery boys!”

“Still on break,” Wonwoo said without looking up, “for another few minutes.”

Seungcheol opened his mouth to say something--probably about how one of their breaks had already ended by now.

“Also, Soonyoung just left with it,” Wonwoo added casually enough.

Immediately, several pairs of eyes went to where the order had been left... and sure enough, it was gone.

And then chaos ensued, and Wonwoo hid yet another smile as he listened to several people bemoan that little factoid. Yet Soonyoung was pedaling away, completely lost as to what had gone down while he was gone.

(And when he showed up, bragging about the huge tip that you had given him while laughing about the fact the others had been arguing... Well. They knew what was going to happen the next time you threw in that special request.)

taglist: @twancingyunhao @synthetickitsune @gyulbabie @wonuziex

#wooahaes.fic #seventeen x reader #seventeen imagine #svt x reader #svt imagine #seventeen x you #svt x you #... thats it thats all my tags sdkjfhsdf

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regarding-stories · 5 months

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The dark abyss that is Andor

There were several things that led to Andor.

On the one hand, Disney screwed up its Star Wars intellectual property by handing it to complete hacks for Episode VII to IX, leading a potential cash cow to attract less and less viewers over the course of three increasingly bad installments. Seriously, The Last Jedi is one of the worst disappointments I've actually watched, and not only was I thinking "This can't get worse..." every five minutes only to be proven, "Yes, it can!!", it completely killed my appetite to see IX (and I would have left the cinema at that one's sheer stupidity). With VII, I saw it once with some initial excitement in a cinema when it released and a strange feeling afterwards, and I never revisited it. VIII I saw on two separate long-distance flights because I couldn't stomach the thing in one sitting. IX I didn't see at all, but devoured YouTube videos ripping it apart. Clearly, Disney had a Star Wars problem.

The other thing is the reboot that was The Mandalorian, especially season 1. The Mandalorian had a penchant for not very strong logic in its writing that you still accepted because you had so much damn fun and loved the characters. Given the fact that it clearly pulled lots of viewers into Disney+ that were loving its vibe that was true to the core of Star Wars, Disney management saw the fact that theaters and theme parks were closed due to COVID on the one hand and that big Star Wars movies were at risk of actually losing money on the other hand, and they did what executives are wont to do - they decided that if it worked once, it will work again and declared they will pump out TEN Star Wars series in the near future.

Meanwhile they cancelled also their ongoing series of "A Star Wars Story" movies that started with what could be called "Episode III.5" - Rogue One. Rogue One was plagued with production problems, so much so that seeming key scenes from the trailer weren't in the movie. "I rebel!", anyone?? Still, it turned out to be something new - a new kind of Star Wars story. It took the idea of a war movie (or its modern equivalent, Band of Brothers) and put it into the Star Wars cinematic universe. It did without an actual Jedi (kinda-sorta) and it showed a strong performance of Diego Luna as the morally gray Cassian Andor. And... (spoiler alert) ... it killed its whole cast in its finale.

I know people that say Rogue One is their favorite Star Wars movie. (But other people dislike it.) I hold it in high esteem. The way the resistance is portrayed also seemed to be somewhat subversive - both to its previous image on screen and to what is portrayable on screen for mainstream audiences in general. It became clear that unlike in the original three Star Wars movies resisting an empire is, on the ground, a dirty business and not just about big battles or commando raids. (Which then happen anyway. Because Star Wars.)

Then followed the lackluster Solo and the third installment Yoda was never made as Star Wars increasingly lost its ability to draw crowds into seats.

And thus it came to Andor

Now what do you do with a character that (spoiler alert? really?) dies. You make a bloody prequel. Which is funny. Andor is a prequel to Rogue One which is a prequel to A New Hope. Prequels, like sequels, carry the risk of rehashing the original material without adding anything to it (Solo ...) and being trapped by the inevitability of what has to happen next, curtailing its writing (Kenobi ...). But Andor season 1 betrays none of that. (Talk about being addicted to prequels, Disney...) It is a strong piece of cinematic art in its own right.

And yes, I'm saying art. About a Star Wars series. That's how I feel about it. Andor not only has strong execution, it has depth. It was a show that made me pause it and think about what just happened on screen. It's a show that gets deeper if you know about history, unlike most shows that actually reveal their shallowness to the knowing eye. (Looking at you, The Man in the High Castle. Boy, I hated that tripe.)

But even before we get into that, let me say how I impressed I was with its set and costume design. Whereas the Book of Boba Fett gave us cyberpunks on floating scooters, Andor poured a lot of heart into how everybody looked in their various environments, creating a more rich and varied Star Wars society by portraying various strata thereof, from the life of imperial senator Mon Mothma to the middle class living literally in her shade somewhere on the middle levels of planet-city Coruscant to the mining town labor class that we find Cassian in. It flawlessly cuts between different well-thought out locations, including, of all things, a holiday resort.

This is paired with some very strong performances by similarly strong actors. I mean, we all knew Stellan Skarsgard would deliver, sure. But Denise Gough absolutely kills it, acting-wise. Her delivery as a villain is perfect, the way she manages to always look so sour and annoyed already is quite something, how she normalizes evil into a technocrat career. Every flinch of her face conveys books of information to me as the fascinated viewer. She is at the heart of this series, and worth the price of admission alone.

And let's not forget Andy Serkis' heart-rending performance. Really, we're being spoiled. People are seriously acting, not just standing in front of a camera wearing costumes! In Star Wars!!

And yet, if it was only that, it still wouldn't have impacted me as deeply as it had. There's one more layer to this, and it's the massive bottom of the iceberg that is Andor. I haven't forgotten, even though I'm writing this a year after watching it.

(And definitely spoilers from here on onwards.)

Life under fascism

The second half of season 1 however can put deep horror into any thinking person's mind. It radically departs from previous portrayals of the evil Empire. It's not relying on cheap gimmicks like Episode VII where we see a village razed by the First Order. (So evil. So cliche, too. Also murdering Max von Sydow. Tsk, tsk. They had to get him off stage before any good acting happens...) Andor creeps under our skin and then reaps havoc.

(This part of this entry will become increasingly dark. You might not want to read on. Because fiction is one thing, and comparing it to historical reality is another. This is an actual trigger warning. Proceed with care.)

The first half of the season is standard fare, almost. Cassian gets himself in trouble and there is really no redeeming quality about it. He also gets everybody else into trouble. The Empire in its heavy-handed hurry to eradicate resistance actually creates it in the first place. And still... the lack of compunction about torture, about going victim by victim, vanishing people into its torture cells, breaking them... this is merely an overture. No hero is born here, but evil wears its mask imperfectly.

Cassian escapes his small world to eventually live the good life on a resort world, getting laid, pretending to be someone else. Instead of being caught as the fugitive and murderer and partisan he actually is by now, he simply gets caught up in the arrest of somebody else. The way the Empire "perpetrates justice" not only gets him arrested while having done no wrong (in that cover identity), he also gets sentenced by a court that doesn't even pretend to actually care about due process in any way. There's a machine of oppression, and instead of competently catching him, Cassian becomes caught up randomly in one of its many gears.

And while this may seem random, it's brilliant. It's one of the many reasons why resistance exists. Because the Empire's overreach is everywhere, grinding up people just living their lives while trying to perfect its control. The corruption of the desire for power leaks through in its banality.

What follows is Cassian's imprisonment, and this segment is brutal and horrifying on a deep level. The more you know, the worse it gets. Cassian is transported to a prison facility where he's forced into repetitive labor to make equipment for the Empire. There's a set of steps every labor team has to execute, and the team with the lowest quota gets punished with electric shocks. Day after day.

This is "Vernichtung durch Arbeit." ("Destruction through labor.") This is what the Nazis did to their political opponents. Before there was a Holocaust, there were concentration camps. And prisoners were made to work - the cynic motto across the gate of Auschwitz was "Arbeit macht frei." ("Labor sets you free.") People would gradually be ground down until they gave out in one way or another, fell sick, die of exhaustion, broke psychologically. The series never tells us its "inspiration," it just goes through similar motions. With the veneer of a super-clean techno prison over it.

Not only that, the very scene reminded me of what I read in a book about the Holocaust. Towards the end of the war the engines for the new secret weapon jet planes or rockets were manufactured by prison labor. Crews of malnourished prisoners would each execute a few pretrained steps and crank out more jet engines in slave labor than was previously done in the Reich's armament factories. This was the culmination of the Nazi system where all labor-intensive things like the bunkers of the Atlantic Wall or the underground factories of Dora-Mittelbau were erected by and on the back of slaves that were themselves gradually killed in the process.

Without ever breathing a word of what is portraying, Andor portrays the same. Skillfully, horribly so.

The devil is in the details

Some way into this horror, everybody gets their sentence doubled. The counter simply goes up. No explanation. Total helplessness in the face of total control. The deep gut feeling of "No one gets out here alive" or "It will never end" begins to descend. That number was a sort of life line for people to brave another day. And it lies!

As unbelievable as it may seem, people did get released from concentration camps, especially those on "lighter charges" like "antisocial behavior." But nobody really knew how long they had to stay or if they were to be released. Often, initially told they had to do 3 to 6 months depending on their conduct, and yet most people never left alive. A quick read in a book behind me says that 8 million people were sucked into the system, 7 million died, 200,000 left by being released by the system itself. The idea you might be released one day added false hope that in itself could create further psychological torture if it was dashed over and over again.

Then there is the "divide and conquer" approach to prisoner management. Work crews are led by other prisoners, rebellion and resistance is quelled within the ranks. This Andor merely hints at, but the Nazi oppression system skillfully created hierarchies to make sure a comparatively small detachment of guards could handle a large mass of inmates which could overwhelm them if acting together.

But it doesn't stop here, not in Andor, either. Eventually we learn that the Empire starts to eliminate the prison population. Rumors start to spread that an entire floor of the super prison was eliminated by electrocution. Just like the real Nazis the space Nazis start to construct yet another death machine to eliminate opposition.

And this leads to that sub-plots final chapter, the prison revolt. There are a few historical mass escapes, even from Nazi death camps. There's also the heroism of the two uprisings of Warsaw (including the ghetto uprising). Left with nothing to lose, left with nothing but death ahead, the prisoners overwhelm the guards.

And this happened in real life, too. It's probably based on the historical case of the death camp inmates that were forced to run the gas chambers and crematoria themselves. This is part of the Holocaust itself, the Nazis had finally dropped all pretenses and resorting to kill people in an industrial manner. And these people knew that eventually their whole detachment would be killed. They knew too much, were witnesses to this massive crime against them and humanity itself. They were also among those destined for death. Like in an antechamber of hell itself they were merely bidding time. So they managed one of the few mass escapes on record.

While Andor doesn't stray as far down the road as actual history does, it knows how to cite history for those who know. It's not made up of whole cloth. It actually is referencing the real history of the most inhumane version of fascism, but it does not put the fact in your face. But if you know, its chamber of horrors becomes so much deeper.

And that's why

This is what makes Andor an absolute masterpiece. It recreates the conditions without blindly copying the source. It adapts, but you can feel how deeply inhumane the circumstances are that it depicts. It gives you the bloody creeps, and even if you don't know how much it is rooted in darkness, you will still feel it. It shows. It tells. But it never spoils the source material.

This is art. This is the deep craft. The banality of evil, the careless, uncaring attitude of evil towards those it deems unworthy and not human. It's all on display. It switches us into the place of Cassian and of Andy Serkis' character as it draws us in as audience. We don't see what happens on other floors. We don't have the information advantage. We can only imagine. We are subjected to the fact that we can only imagine it. And so we share a bit in the plight of these characters. Sometimes not showing a thing is the highest accomplishment of movie making.

And this is why I'm pissed that a series that was planned for five seasons was already cut to play out in two. Because we need more of this and less of more Jedi doing backflips. Just like Loki plays on a completely different level than the rest of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Andor leaves all of Star Wars in its dust. If Rogue One was the attempt to tell a different kind of story in the same universe, Andor is the attempt at a different level of depth.

And this, more than Rogue One, makes it clear why they fight.

Watch it if you can.

And sorry if I horrified you.

#andor #andor series #cassian andor #rogue one #star wars

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sasaranurude · 6 months

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Coly, the company behind Mahoyaku and Stand My Heroes, have announced a new game. Some friends and I realized that despite looking somewhat generic at first glance, it's got a handful of intriguing things going on with it! So here's a quick kind of long introduction to/my thoughts on Break My Case!

First: the website! The music on the site is really good! Go listen while you read this post!! There are 12 people listed as composers in the credits page, and it seems most every VA involved has at least a bit of experience with singing or music projects. The tone is a bit dark for a rhythm game (though I'm not ruling that out entirely), but otherwise it seems like there's gonna be a music focus. Cool! As far as other staff goes--the main scenario writer is also the writer of Stand My Heroes, and the character designer is Utako Yukihiro, who also did some work for B-Project.

The story concerns a cafe with a myriad of eccentric employees that runs an after-hours service where they solve problems. The exact nature of all this is left pretty vague.

And the draw for a game like this: The characters! Interestingly, they're divided into different departments at the cafe. What exactly those departments do isn't clear yet. As for the characters themselves--the more we looked at them, the more we liked them, lol. Quick summaries about what intrigued us about each guy. Note that these are not translations, none of us are fluent in Japanese (we all know just enough to get by with the google+jisho combo lol), and this should all be taken with a grain of salt.

The Main Office, consisting of Ai Kosaka, Yuzuru Kise, and Roka Suoh. (Names are listed in western given-family order because that's what the site uses for romanized names.) Roka is the one who owns the cafe, is the oldest character in the bunch at 36, and is that fun "mysterious guy with unknown backstory and an endless amount of weird acquaintances, who acts incompetent but might actually be hypercompetent" type of trope.

On account of the whole acting-incompetent thing, Ai and Yuzuru run the actual cafe business. And normally I won't be including fullbody character art in this post but I have to make an exception just this once.

Anyways.

Tumblr won't let me put four images in a row. Come on man. I wanna maintain the BMC's site style. Why are you mean to me. Anyways. The Simulation Department, consisting of Kou Ayato, Mao Ukyo, Akehoshi Hinomiya, and Yuragi Kanno. "Simulation" is its English name given on the site, but the Japanese given would probably read more like "relationship department".

Kou is a footloose playboy and Mao is a serious intellectual type, but apparently Kou will ask Mao to pretend to be his girlfriend so that he can avoid trouble with women. That's gay. I love that. (Mao is a guy [as far as we know], he just likes makeup--he's not the only one in that cast who does, either!) We all want Mao's outfit.

Akehoshi was a sleeper hit in the group chat, because his bio has a sentence about how he's the most normal-looking-yet-dangerous employee at the cafe, and also explicitly describes him as being like a dog, and naturally we all went crazy for the silly puppy as soon as we realized that he was in fact a silly puppy. Yuragi, on the other hand, likes cats. Such a classic for his character design trope, lmao.

The Administrative Department, consisting of Taiga Tsukimoto, Haruhi Ichikawa, and Sei Okiya. Taiga looks cool but if you look at his fullbody he's wearing awful sweatpants and apparently he cries while watching anime. I love this for him. Haruhi is a streamer because that's like an obligatory character trope now I guess. Sei was very popular in the group chat for being the single most suspicious character in the cast. What's his problem.

The Watchdog Department (or enforcement department, if you translate the jpn) consists of Shizuka Fushimi, Takeru Mikado, Soyogu Shinkai, and Shinobu Aizawa.

My friend described Shizuka as a "wet looking glasshole" and yeah. ok. unfortunately he does look like that. But it's ok he's allowed because his bio says he prefers quiet, orderly places with plants and no people and keeps to himself in common spaces but his own room is a complete mess. AKA he's an autism king. So I like him.

Takeru was obviously a hit because look at them. Takeru and Mao talk about makeup together, apparently. CUTE! Shinobu is the most fashionable guy in the cast and his bio says he has a few screws loose, which is amazing. Good for him. I have nothing to say about Soyogu I think I forgot he existed until I was putting this post together and I only looked at these all guys a few hours ago

The Negotiation Department, with Kiho Arima, Kyoya Shido, and Riku Tateshina. I described this group as "grandma, grandpa, and Columbo" and then the group chat couldn't call any of them anything else. And I do mean grandma. Because. ok. another fullbody. Because oh my god we have to look at Kiho.

GIRL. WHAT. IS. THAT. YOU'RE WEARING A CARPET. YOU'RE WEARING A COUCH. kiho is apparently a fortune teller and my friend acted as if this excused the outfit but i DONT agree i don't think anything excuses this. WHAT IS THAAAAAT

Kyoya is an artist and Riku is a psychologist so honestly this is a really fun bunch of jobs going on in this department. Riku is described as someone who falls in love easily, and he's most interested in Ai (from the Main Office, the very first guy in this post). We couldn't tell if the implication there is that he's in love with Ai, or if he falls in love with random people and yet his true attention always drifts back to Ai. Both of these options are gay.

The ST (special tasks) Department, with Yomose Onda, Yu Nina, Kamiya, and Urara Manami.

Yu had his life saved by Tomose and has now dedicated himself to him, to the point of being ready to die for him. YOU GOTTA LOVE THAT. INCREDIBLE TROPE. UNBEATABLE. GAY AS HELL. All we know from Tomose's side is that he's "fond" of Yu. That's fine I'm sure you can learn to love him. Or learn to hate him. Whatever's more entertaining.

Kamiya has no memory, hence the singular name. I'm sure whatever's going on there is weird and interesting. Urara is the youngest character, at 20. THAT'S RIGHT. THE YOUNGEST CHARACTER IS 20. THERE ARE ZERO TEENAGERS! THE AVERAGE CHARACTER AGE IS AROUND 26. THIS SHOULDN'T BE AS NOTABLE AS IT IS BUT THAT'S GACHA GAMES FOR YOU. Anyways I like Urara because I think he looks like an angry kitty.

Anyways, that's the gist of what we know about BMC--or BreMai, if you wanna go for something closer to the jpn abbreviation--right now. More info might drop at/around Animate Girls Fest, since they seem to be giving out game beta codes there. I don't know if I'm completely sold on it just yet--coly did just have a detective-themed gacha game fail a few months ago with &0. But we're not even completely sure it is a gacha yet, or what kind of gameplay it might have otherwise, so... there's a bit of hope. Maybe it'll be a weird cool dark rhythm game! Who knows!!!

#suchobabbles #break my case #joseimuke

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jiminguuk · 7 months

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Very long post ahead because I’m very irritated by the state of this tag. I have some thoughts. I wasn’t even going to say anything and just lurk, but Jungkook and Jimin have a very special place in my heart and I’m pissed

I think we as a society need to understand that shipping ≠ reality.

I know it’s easy to get caught up in the moments, the “evidence”, the chemistry. But you have to have a healthy dose of respect/common decency.

For example, when Taehyung said that thing to that taekooker (you know what I’m talking about). If I was clocked by bts in that regard I’d pass away. There is a line and you shouldn’t cross it.

As for the video, I’m skeptical of its legitimacy, but I’m not opposed to the idea of it being real. There’s absolutely no way of knowing if it’s true or fake without confirmation. Honestly, I think HYbe will probably ignore it and I know someone will say “it’s very telling they didn’t say anything” but really, it’s so fucking stupid.

1. The video was released very close to a release of a song (seems to be a trend) and my god that song should be the focus not the goddamn video. Whoever, whether true or not, got what they wanted.

2. It’s is insane the lengths people went through to prove it’s legitimacy/Debunk. It’s creepy, it’s terrifying. Imagine you’re Jungkook minding your business and seeing some ARMY in Ohio going through every inch of your apartment you’ve shown to prove it’s you in a grainy 144p video. What the fuck.

3. Hot Take Ahead: I’ve seen a lot of anons on different accounts asking questions/saying theories about jikooks relationship/status. Literally, what kind of fanfictional life do you think they live? “Oh I think it’s an open relationship, I think they broke up :/, it’s possible they are separated but still together” These are grown men. Who the hell cares besides Jimin and Jungkook. Who the fuck are you to dissect their entire bond to pinpoint moments you felt they may have been on “a break”. Have you thought perhaps, I don’t know, people are busy and are unable to interact the same way they did in 2015-2019? Or maybe they aren’t around each other as much in front of cameras? Their private lives, together or not, in a relationship or not is none of our business. It is so weird to me to make these kind of claims based on interactions you see/don’t see anymore. It’s like some people think it’s a damn show. Something I always enjoyed about Jikook is how close, cute and questionable they are. But not once have I thought to track their entire “relationship” and think “oh this is when they broke up” it’s literally a ship. It’s a pairing. I’m also a Yoonjin enthusiast and I have yet to see any kind of comments similar to the ones about Jikook. Shipping is supposed to be fun. It shouldn’t be dissected and analyzed to fit a narrative.

4. If I have to see one more post about JK being a fuck boy/ disrespectful to women or Jimin being heartbroken I’ll pull my hair out. How do you know? Song lyrics? Really? You think every single thing is connected to each other? It can’t be separate? Could Jimin be singing about a past relationship he was in not related to JK? Could JK’s songs be written for a western audience that thrives on that type of music? It would be great if we could separate art from ships. Not everything is about the ship, because quite frankly, I doubt they even think about it when creating shit. (I will say I did lose my mind over that JM tattoo in the seven MV lmafo, but that was because whenever I see it I gasp. I know the tattoo has been debunked or whatever but god it gets me in the feels) It’s must be so frustrating to be tied to a ship whenever you create a piece of art.

5. I’ll forever be a jikooker at heart for the fact I absolutely adore the pairing/ship. But I’m not going to sit here and pretend that they owe me the satisfaction of being true. I will take my crumbs and be happy because, really, that’s what it’s for. Everything from hickey gate to the fish in the clouds to the traveling around the globe for a birthday. Until proven otherwise, I’ll always have 👀 on them and continue to be a supporter but I’m not going to thrust my hand into believing that they are 100% together because I have absolutely no way of knowing it’s a fact.

Finally: 1. Who ft. Jikook never got the attention it deserved 2. Jimin is literally God reincarnated 3. Yoonjin is so Cam/Mitchell, Rei/Kazuki, Gojo/Nanami coded. Prove me wrong.

#jikook #kookmin #bts jeon jungkook #bts jimim #im so tired #i’m too old for this

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madseance · 1 year

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robocalypse probably never: a.i. & art

I used to be a professional graphic designer. I quit for a variety of reasons. Like the time I wanted to teach a couple of my coworkers Photoshop, and my boss said, "Well, if you do that, what will I need you for?" Or the fact that none of my superiors could genuinely tell that my work was any better than what they could whip up in Canva. It absolutely was; but if they couldn't see it, did it matter?

I've thought about this a lot lately with all the A.I. business going on. The whole "will A.I. replace artists/writers/etc" conversation seems to be focused on whether A.I.-generated content can ever be as good as human art. Whether it will ever be, in every perceivable way, equivalent to human art.

I don't think that's the right question, though, and I don't think that's what's really bothering people. It's not what's really bothering me.

When I quit graphic design, I went back to school to study biology and psychology, with vague ideas of maybe switching into computer science and A.I. learning. I presented one paper about affective computing, thought about it a bit more, and decided it wasn't the field for me.

I don't think a computer can ever meaningfully simulate being human; I don't think we'll ever see the kind of truly indistinguishable A.I. everyone always thinks is just around the corner. I'm not worried that an algorithm with a typewriter will ever produce Shakespeare.

What worries me is that, whenever computers do reach their limits of simulated creativity, whatever slapdash approximation of human art they're able to produce will be good enough for most people. That they won't be able to tell any meaningful difference, the same way my boss thought anybody who could work Photoshop could replace me.

Right now, there are no end of websites pushing A.I. tools to generate blog posts and essays and articles purported to be equivalent to or better than human-written ones. Websites are already full of their output. If you're looking solely at things like that, it can feel like there soon won't be any place for human writing. The same with all the A.I.-generated "art". If everyone's so impressed with the seven-fingered image mashup nonsense these tools crank out, maybe there's no point in humans even bothering to make their own art anymore.

But there are two things I've been thinking about that contradict that.

One: I've touched on this a bit, but all the A.I. generated stuff ranges from amusing nonsense on the high end, down to absolute incoherent garbage. However good it's supposedly going to get any minute now, it's going to have limits. As a friend just pointed out to me, it sure can't fucking physically paint yet. I can definitely see art that is fully outside A.I.'s wheelhouse becoming more valuable because of that. Even with writing, just to take one example, everyone who's paying for it on the internet right now knows that there are a few things A.I. is okay at and a fuckload it's bad at. Even the content farms are saying "do not submit A.I.-generated garbage to us." If you want good writing, you need a human. Humans who can fucking write may end up being more valuable thanks to A.I., not less.

Two: This one's a little less concrete, but I think it should be even more important, because I think there are more important things about art than its monetary value. Even though my ex-boss probably still thinks Canva is better than me, I fucking know better. And there are quite a few other people who know better, too. One time, my workplace did this pop culture event, and I made a flier for it that I knew the target audience would think was cool. And I was right, because not only did it help bring in record numbers of attendees, one girl literally asked me to print her a fresh copy of the flier to keep with her other souvenirs of the event. No one ever fucking did that about a flier a coworker bashed out in five minutes using clipart.

My point is, you cannot make art for the 75% or 90% or 99.99998% of people, as the case may be, who can't tell the difference between it and computer-simulated garbage. You already don't. You don't make it for the people who don't get it; you make it for the ones who do. No matter how much of a content-farmed corporate hellscape the world of professional creativity becomes, you have to ultimately be in it for those rare moments where it connects with somebody. Those are not going away unless the machines replace every single human with a Terminator or whatever the fuck.

So no, I'm not really that worried about A.I. replacing me any more than I'm worried about ignorance and apathy replacing me. The SEO-content-monetisation-engagement drones are more than welcome to keep asking chatbots to generate shitty blog posts for each other to not read. It doesn't have any more to do with me than it ever did.

#fynn posts #humans create art not content #ai bs

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thecaffeinebookwarrior · 2 years

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Hey, I don't know if you still answer these ? So absolutely feel free to ignore/delete/whatever my question, since it seems like you've been busy as of late (and I hope it's a good kind of busy!)

How does one just... Manage to finish one thing without hopping between a thousand projects and never finishing any of them ? I am desperate and it's like my brain is working against me here (note : currently waiting for ADHD assessment to know if it's that or if my brain is fucked up in some other way, but still) (i want to finish a thing and I can't!!!) It seems like it's so easy for some people to just sit down and write 100 words per day and after a while bam you got a short story/novel/anything. Meanwhile its very hard for me to even remember about my wips sometimes. Any tips ? Or should I just talk to my doctor about that since it's 90% of things and not just writing lmao

Hello! It's sadly true, I can't answer every question I'm asked anymore -- adult life has begun taking up too much of my time!

I also just don't feel as comfortable positioning myself as an authority figure, even though I have an MFA in English and am much, much more knowledgeable than when I started this blog. Sometimes you have to learn more to realize how little I know!

However, I do still welcome any and all questions, with the disclaimer that my responses are ONLY my ever-evolving personal opinions! If I don't answer them, it's absolutely nothing personal, and only means that time got away from me.

Now, on to your actual question. This feeling is very familiar to me, especially when I was a teenager (I don't know how old you are, however, and I feel like this can apply to all ages). I remember being very frustrated by my seeming inability to complete anything writing-related (novels, stories, etc.)

I'll give you the advice I'd have given myself when I was struggling with this: don't worry about finishing things. Just learn. You don't need to finish projects to learn.

If you want to build the habit of finishing projects, make the projects themselves smaller. Look up #vss365 (very short stories 365 days a year), and write a micro fiction piece in response to their daily prompts in 280 characters or less. I do this on Twitter, and it REALLY helps me keep the habit of writing when I'm very busy with my current Illustration program/with art commissions/etc.

DON'T BE DISCOURAGED when you miss a day (or a week) in a row! Remind yourself that the most important thing is to learn. When you find a story you're really passionate about, it will seize you, and you can worry about consistently revisiting it then.

Now, in regards to mental health advice, I have none. I do relate heavily to your described symptoms/characteristics, but what works for me won't necessarily work for you. Whether you decide to seek treatment -- and if so, what you want that treatment to be -- is entirely up to you!

I hope this helps, and happy writing! <3

#writing tips

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phylumhearts · 1 year

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give us your radiant garden fam headcanons

this is suuper broad so I'm gonna talk about who I include in the radiant garden fam and why!

so for me, it's ansem, even, ienzo, dilan, aeleus, and xion. this is ofc post-canon - braig (and later apprentice xeha) would be included (and xion omitted) in earlier parts of the timeline.

(aside: whether braig was an apprentice pre-luxu or not and how much investment luxu-braig had in any part of the whole situation beyond prophecy-fulfilment is sooo interesting. I lean towards "always luxu" and "only a little invested despite himself" bc I'm not usually focusing on his character but honestly that's kind of a cop-out on my part lol)

I see a lot of people bringing in namine and repliku (and making REALLY CUTE art about it, it's not my headcanon but I do eat up father-of-four even content lol), but I generally don't bc. 1. if repliku could have had a full existence independent of riku kh3 well and truly removed that as an option and 2. namine deserves better than that

when I say that I mostly mean namine should be well the fuck away from ansem, and I think he'd probably agree? DiZ was legendarily awful to her and while she has a connection to Even via being in replica body now I don't think that's particularly enough to put him as a top candidate for her guardianship (though tbh I'm not 100% set on who that /would/ be - if kairi was back on the islands I'd say her parents just have twins now, but given that she's training with aqua it would be a little odd for namine to be there alone. maybe she's just travelling for a bit. idk)

on the other hand xion was directly created by even and they don't have a negative history together, and none of the org members who actively hurt her are around (I 100% include axel in that, I don't object to them being friends post-canon but people acting like he could be a healthy guardian figure to her need to, like, play/watch days lol). in rg she gets a blank slate with pretty much everyone around her except dilan, and I think they would have a very interesting dynamic given the little bits and pieces we see of their relationship in the org. (yes i'm thinking about when xaldin was like "she's as much of a person as the rest of us and therefore should be executed". I'm always thinking about that.)

I was kinda disappointed when kh3 brought AtW back bc I really vibe w the idea of the apprentices returning to rg and having to live with the conspicuous absence of their king and mentor (this playlist is very much about that vibe) which I guess still happens but only for like. a couple weeks maybe? then he's just back again. which I do think is less fun but does have its own interesting questions of what their dynamic becomes, how he approaches returning to rule, etc. I do think that with his whole repentance thing he maybe wouldn't be very into taking up a head-of-state role again and would be more likely to facilitate a transition into some kind of representative council system than just abdicate and put some poor schmuck into his old position (that being said, the idea of him just washing his hands of it and retiring to be a hermit, leaving ienzo to take up a hereditary king title, would be just the kind of dick move that feels consistent with his established characterisation lol (ienzo voice: hello chip could you put mickey on the line please. I want to consult him on how to run a whole fucking world because it would seem I'm a king now))

anyway. despite it being cute and making lots of jokes about it I don't really see ienzo or xion calling anyone their dads or fathers - they're totally a family but it's a bit more complex than "four dads, two kids". the guys all take their guardian roles quite seriously (while dilan doth protest too much about their upbringing not being his responsibility or business, he is in practice very invested in instilling them with his values) but I don't think any of them would feel entitled to claim that kind of relationship.

long post is long. I have much to say about these blorbos o' mine

#rambles

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h-worksrambles · 1 year

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Well, I got caught up with Remember the Flowers. And considering that doing so left me an emotional wreck at 4 in the morning. I don’t think it’s a surprise that I have a lot to say.

Now before I get into my spoiler heavy thoughts I want to say one thing: Play Remember the Flowers. I don’t care if you’re not a furry. Just do it. I cannot recommend it enough. If you want a genuinely good and refreshing isekai story with memorable characters, gorgeous art and music, an excellent sense of mystery and incredibly emotional payoffs, you will get all of that and more here, even in its current WIP state. The 13 chapters currently available are worth the experience alone (and it’s free by the way).

Now with that said, allow me talk about just why this game made such an impression on me. FULL SPOILERS FOR UP TO CHAPTER 13 BELOW. DO NOT READ ON IF YOU HAVEN’T PLAYED.

First and foremost, the structure and delivery of the story is fantastic. You experience the plot over the course of story arcs of about 4-5 chapters each, and every single one does incredible work escalating upon it itself. The pacing is something of a slow burn but every chapter still provides plenty of interesting character interactions and new things to learn about the world. And the payoff comes with the finale of each arc, all of which somehow managed to one up each other in their dramatic weight. The first arc already managed to end on the emotional gut punch of Cooper’s betrayal. The second arc took great advantage of Cyrus dealing with that emotional fallout and trying to adjust to the new status quo despite being more afraid and distrusting than ever, before the devastating revelations of his own past. The third arc has an absolute beautiful exploration of the characters’ relationship, seeing Cyrus becoming truly comfortable around this found family, many of them starting to heal from their own traumas in the fight against Resoom, before leading to an emotional tour de force that completes Cyrus’ character growth beautifully. While I think the dystopian world is interesting, I think it’s this execution and craft of of this story that really elevates it to something special.

Speaking of the characters, they’re also a delight. It’s honestly impressive that most of the actual main cast are as compelling as they are when none of them actually show up until roughly 5 hours in. Pretty much every character with prominent screentime in the first few hours is a red herring. Diana and Damion, who are first introduced as lovable supporting figures in Cyrus’ life who he longs to reunite with, turn out to be long gone given the game’s twist about its timespan. And Cooper, who is effectively the second main character when the story starts is…well we’ll get to that.

Making the player care about the resistance team when they effectively replace the people you thought were the main cast promised to be a tricky business. Fortunately, the game pulls it off marvellously as these guys are a joy. Aaron is an absolutely precious character, and if you follow my blog you’ll know I’ve gushed about him (and what absolute husband material he is) already. It’s very easy to warm to Aaron very quickly. He’s attentive and affectionate as a friend to Cyrus, especially at a point where Cyrus really needs that kind of friend, consistently selfless, a good leader. He almost feels like Mr. Perfect when you meet him. And that’s because he’s trying so SO hard to be. Learning the truth in Chapter 13 of his journey from an impoverished orphan, to a bitter thug hell-bent on violence, to a man genuinely inspired to fight for what he loves recontextualises his past kindness, but not in a bad way. He acts this way because he’s determined to prove to himself and to others that he’s not the killer he used to be. And he’s clearly holding himself to a high standard, afraid that anything less than his best would be enough to make Cyrus see him as the monster he still believes he is. Even now knowing little about his history with his lover Xavier and the role that played in redeeming him, there’s something powerful in just how much of an inspiration he was to Aaron. We don’t know fully who Xavier was. But we can definitely see who Aaron is now and that is an unequivocally good person. By the time it really becomes apparent that Aaron as being set up as the actual love interest, it’s very easy to already fall for him.

And the rest of the cast is also excellent. Canto’s standoffish nature is contrasted by the fact that he’s just genuinely a funny and entertaining presence in the narrative. Karin’s boundless enthusiasm and energy, mixed with a punch first, ask questions latter attitude but also a genuine love for her friends is consistently endearing. Vita’s quiet, business like manner conceals a character who ends up becoming a kindred spirit, one of the few who can really understand what Cyrus is going through. And their own steady growth to overcome the damage done to them physically and emotionally by Resoom leads to some truly poignant payoffs. Silver, despite being the last character to be introduced properly, more than makes up for it with a strong first impression. His quickly blooming friendship with Cyrus is a pleasant contrast that prevents him feeling the ‘edgy dude with a sad backstory’ trope. In fact, watching Cyrus and Silver empathise with each other over their experiences in one scene, and comfortably joke around each other as roomies in the next, feels natural and cathartic.

These guys genuinely feel like a found family before long. Cyrus’ steadily growing attachment to them feels earned. And seeing him heal from the terrible things he’s endured with a group of people who love and support him is incredibly heartwarming.

But I want to focus my discussion on two characters who particularly stuck with me. The first is the resident bastion of controversy, Cooper, or Lance I guess I should say. Suffice to say my earlier post about how I knew he was a polarising character but was liking him so far aged…interestingly to say the least. Seeing Cooper’s early impression of a rough around the edges bad boy with moments of emotional sincerity quickly come crashing down as he’s revealed to be a selfish merc willing to sacrifice innocent lives for a quick buck was a horrible shock to be sure. The story succeeds at making you genuinely like Cooper and his seeming budding friendship with Cyrus. Which makes the reveal all the more heartwrenching. Any kind of ‘I can fix him’ charm is utterly dismantled. Because even if that was real, even if there was a connection here, Lance still chose to throw that away. And we know now it’s not the first time he’s thrown away people he cares for out of selfishness. Still, piece of scum though he is, I was hoping Lance would make a reappearance eventually as I was genuinely curious where they were planning to take his character next. Especially as Cyrus meets and tries to bond with Lance’s former teammates who themselves have been hurt by the guy in the past.

What really fascinated me was when we started changing perspective to follow what happened to Lance after he sold out Cyrus. It was definitely interesting to see him at such a low point. Having all his actions bite him in the ass seemed to make him briefly realise how much he’s screwed himself and everyone around him. While spiralling in self loathing he’s forced to admit what a despicable person he’s been and even expresses regret for what he did to Cyrus. It’s clear that there’s a lot of anger, bitterness at his life, grief over his lost friend and pure simple selfishness that’s brought him to this point. But maybe, just maybe, spending time with Cyrus, did make him start to remember what it’s like to actually give a damn about someone else and to be cared about in turn. Reminded him of everything he’s thrown away. For one moment, you think he might be starting to get it. Might be taking that first step to be a better man like you’ve seen hints he’s capable of being…

And then when Artemis brings his old team up, and all those feelings of anger, jealousy, grief and resentment, that thickheaded belief that he’s the victim in all this, comes back full force. And before you know it, he’s in too deep, utterly in Resoom’s pocket and unable to get out of it if he even wanted to, It reminds me of that one scene from Bojack. ‘You can’t keep doing shitty things and then feel bad about it like that makes it ok.’ Much like that show, there’s something so maddening about seeing someone who has the potential to be better being so close to a breakthrough only to slide right back into the same self destructive impulses and be right back where they started.

This man is a fascinating trainwreck of character and I want to study him with a microscope like a cockroach but he also makes me want to rip my hair out. Despite being one of the most despicable members of the cast, he’s probably the one I’m most interested to see where his character goes. As a foil to a cast who all have baggage and have all done bad stuff in the past, but all ultimately make the effort to be better and work for something other than themselves, Lance makes a very effective counterpart. While they collectively heal, he is continuing to spiral, and I can’t wait for the inevitable confrontation, however it turns out.

And last of all I want to talk about our protagonist, Cyrus Cantwell, who might be my favourite member of the entire cast. The first few chapters do a good job establishing Cyrus as a protagonist with a refreshing amount of backbone and spirit given his situation. His back and forth with Lance (pre-reveal) establishes him as someone determined to get home, but increasingly frustrated over his powerlessness in this new setting. He’s inquisitive, intelligent and empathetic but he doesn’t put up with people’s crap, all of which makes him pretty immediately likable. But it’s the second arc where he really comes into his own as a character. Having been sold out by the one person he’d formed any attachment to in this strange new world, Cyrus’ dynamic to the resistance team is very different. He’s much more guarded. Much more jaded, dead set on getting away from his apparent rescuers pretty much from the word ‘go.’ But he slowly starts to respond to their unconditional warmth and kindness, the kind he hasn’t experienced in a very, very long time. And he’s gonna need it because this leads directly into the emotional turmoil that is Chapter 9.

This is probably ‘that one moment’ for people who’ve played the game. The truth finally comes out. Cyrus’ history as a test subject of Resoom for 300 years. Centuries of traumatic suffering locked away in his lost memories. And worst of all, the earth shattering revelation that Damion, Diana, his parents, all the loved ones in his scraps of memory he’s been trying to get back to, are all long since dead and gone. The life Cyrus once had is gone and he can never get it back. The delivery of this scene is phenomenal and Cyrus’ reaction over the next few days, from sheer emotional numbness until he finally lets himself feel it with Aaron’s help, is agonising.

…And yet. Despite everything, Cyrus slowly recovers. Over the third arc we see him carve out a new routine at the resistance base. His new friends support him in that process, and he in turn does what he can to help them. All of which builds up to one more emotional tour de force, yes, even more than the last two.

Cyrus’ return to his old home, after centuries of decay, is a devastating moment of grief, but it’s also one of genuine catharthis. Cyrus is able to say goodbye to the life he left behind and let go. But not before he finds one last gift (and this is what had me almost sobbing at my computer). A final set of messages and parting gifts left buried as a time capsule by his loved ones, knowing they’ll never see him again. Throughout this story, Cyrus has been asking himself who he is in this new reality, with or without his memories. He’s been pulled into a resistance against a despicable organisation who ruined his life, but he’s not sure what he’s fighting for. Seeing these last messages reminds of what kind of person he was and is. The empathy and concern for others and dedication he’s always had. And now he’s ready to fight for both the family he’s lost and the one he’s gained. So they can all live the life they deserved. It’s a beautiful resolution to an arc of self actualisation and identity that we’ve seen play out over all 13 chapters. And I for one can’t wait to see where we go next.

There’s a lot to love about Remember the Flowers: Its beautiful art, with every character design full of striking personality. The deliberate, excellent pacing of its story and reveals. Or the emotional, poignant journey of self discovery and healing at its core. And I have faith that it’s only going to get even more remarkable from here.

#remember the flowers #spoiler heavy impressions

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trollhuldren · 1 year

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I have found great freedom in the precept, "Other people's opinions of you are none of your business." This kind of liberation is the key to peace of mind. As a person living at the crossroads of Fat, queer and nonbinary identity, disability, mental-illness, weirdness, and poverty, I have learned that I can't give any fucks about what other people think of me, that I can't be constantly chasing acceptance from others, that I can't give any fucks if I am successful or "cool". To emphasize Jack Halberstam's work, I embrace the cultural failure that I embody. This is freedom.

Our culture doesn't teach us to value wisdom, and it's not something most people seek. We're taught to seek success, acceptance, material wealth, and comfort. But wisdom is found only in following your passions; it is pursued in the transformation of your suffering into something you can endure and move through. This is where Art comes from as well.

We can invoke the friction of our suffering to make us greater than we were, reclaiming our power from those who have taken it forcibly from us or those to whom we gave it away. This very process of friction is how a pearl is created.

To be true to myself, I must embrace my wholeness. I must follow my passions, become vulnerable with those whom I share love, and transform my own suffering into compassion for myself and the world. The word compassion actually means "to suffer with." I can use my own experience of oppression and personal suffering as a tool to empathize with the suffering and oppression of others that I do not directly experience myself.

Robert Cochrane, the late former Magister of the Clan of Tubal Cain and traditional witch, said that we must be a part of this living world, not apart from it. I take this, personally, to mean that we must have our hands in this human mess.

For me, my compassion tells me that I need to do something, to fight for the Land and fight against oppression. If I call myself a witch, I must be willing to stand with all those in the past for whom that word was a brand of cultural failure. I am moved to help fight against the systems of oppression and disenfranchisement and work against the powerful wealthy elite whose corporate machinery is despoiling the Earth.

A witch cannot be idle. We only still and silence ourselves to know which way the Flow is going, then we must rejoin it. Indeed, many of us are swept up in its happenings as much as we choose to act.

To merely seek success, acceptance by those enrapt in the values of the Marketplace world (which to a degree is all of us, for we must all eat), or pure comfort is to remain idle, to be fooled by fools. My Magister Gabriel Carrillo once told me, "a witchcraft that doesn't directly challenge and subvert mainstream values and mores is no witchcraft." The powers that be want us dead if we are of no use to them, and to make workers into slaves to keep their creepy machinery going until all has been swallowed up into their greedy gullets.

So, I don't wish to be "cool" (cold!). I am not above it all. I am a witch. I cannot give a FUCK! I endeavor to burn with the Witchfire. To reveal the truth of who and what I am.

Watch it move my Hand, see it in my Eye. The time is now. It has always ever been NOW.

Rise up!

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iheartmisty · 11 months

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“she has everything” is probably what people think when they look at me.

look at me. I have cute & perfect outfits. i wear short shorts and try hard, brushed hair, glasses, great manners, im kind, helpful, smart, and caring. I put others first. I’m shy. I’m quiet, but observant. i’m a deep thinker. I’m in all honors classes. I’m incredible at art. I write beautiful poetry. I’m a great singer. I play guitar and piano. some might even say im pretty. I have a roof over my head, food, and money to buy whatever I’d like.

does that diminish everything I’ve been through?

how about you see me instead. listen to my real story. when I was little, I had a friend group of five. we all loved the same music, the same colours, our parents were best friends. it was perfect. ooooh but I guess we all grew up now, cause I’m left here loving them and wanting them and they’re here giving excuses to not see me. then I moved. went to a new school, met some new people. thought everybody was my friend; and everybody loved me because I was nice to them. turns out, im just stupid and clueless and people aren’t what they seem to be. I got my heart broken, twice. and it hurt a lot more than it should’ve because they both were not very nice people. they were manipulators, and haters, and apparently bullies too. I thought I was brave for confessing. twice. after covid, none of my hundreds of friends even texted back. I guess we weren’t friends. my good friends never asked me to hang out, and were somehow always busy. I got framed, cyberbullied, harassed online, rumors spread. and this didn’t happen once, but at least like 10 times. my friends didn’t care. they just left. they left me there. they added fire to the flames. now im left with attachment issues and the fear of abandonment. [insert most preposterous thing I would never do that makes 0 sense]. then I get bullied for that? oh then I tried to ask my best friend to defend me, please, and she was like “ur making my mental health worse” “im suicidal now” and starts getting her friends to bully me more and curse at me for quote on quote, “ruining her life”. I’m sorry that I wasted my time trying to help her and her relationship. I’m sorry I spent so much time on her when she did that to me. its so unfair that she gets to be posting about it and gets people wishing her and supporting her when I never got support when I was doing the same. I was bullied more if someone ever found out. i hated myself more and more. I cut myself more and more. no one noticed. no one cared. my grades slipped.

I think that’s really funny cause first of all, she lied, second of all, I love how she gets all the support in the world for her fake story of a paper cut and I was out there bleeding to death from stab wounds that would never ever heal. but its whatever. then, another one of my best friends comes over, body shames me, calls me ugly and calls me out for every single thing and made me feel more insecure than ever, and then walks out after telling people that im the one who body shamed her. oh im oh so sorry for defending you while you were getting bullied, but this is my return gift, thank you? now I cant run away from my anxiety or anxiety attacks and I’m still alone. i wish I wasn’t. I wish someone understood. I’m really not who you think I am. my friend once told me that the way i dress would give off the impression that im a “popular girl”. that I’m materialistic. that I’m shallow, and cold-hearted. maybe thats the girl ive been trying to portray. im really not materialistic, or shallow, or cold-hearted. im the opposite. maybe ive been trying to hide away and blend in the shadows. maybe ive been trying to pretend like im a pretty girl. I havent ever told anybody that. maybe part of me wishes karma would get it over with already, because they all seem to be doing better than me. I think being a good person doesn’t have many rewards, unless you keep doing it, even through this. and I will, because thats just who I am.

now lets see more about me. things someone could maybe actually love. uhh, the way i always give others the bigger half. or the cup with more water. the way I’m always smiling or maybe my favourite songs. maybe a poem I wrote about someone I love. im my favorite quotes and the colour of my room and the movies I watch. and I found people who love me for all of the above. the first impressions. the dark parts. the beautiful ones. and I hope to never let them go. i hope to never let myself go.

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isa-ah · 1 year

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i'm just super nervous about asking about it because i know very little about it. but like idk it seems like a possibility i should explore, but I don't even know if the info i do have is true and i'm scared of barging into a space i don't belong

tbh its really hard to self identify a system by design. you have to consider what it is and why you have it- a dire means your brain takes to break off pieces of yourself to contain childhood trauma within so that you can still function baseline. its by definition something thats really hard to confront or grasp bc its all about repression and divvying up things that would make it difficult to impossible for you to function. this is called a covert system, and some systems Stay that way. theyre functional, either without defined alters, or with alters that stealth and keep things smoothed over.

that said, there are flags you can look for. when youre triggered, how do you process it? do you feel depersonalized? not like yourself, or even not able to reflect on what happened even if you felt cognizant AS it happened? some people black out entirely when an alter fronts, leaving black hole memory gaps, but for me its more of a grey out; like im aware as things happen but in retrospect my memory of it is VERY fuzzy or nonexistent. i know where the time went, but i cant remember anything specific about it. i also feel a bit like im being puppeted around, esp bc none of my alters communicate the same way i do. (ie bentley is pretty harsh w a thick twang, shy is nonverbal, arthur is deep voice king autism, etc).

in my experience, my system didnt become more overt until several years out from living with any of my family, and with only relatively shitty things going on in my life. i felt safe in my environment and so my brain settled in and began unpacking things that i had previously been too busy in a survival mentality to be able to handle. bentley kinda shambled forward after a few days of feeling really out of it and our relationship went from there. lo says he thinks my role in the system is as a protector (which makes sense ig) so it was really difficult for me to talk about it for a good couple months bc i felt like i needed to keep it hush hush to myself & safe. its VERY hard to reach a point of confidently proclaiming you have a system by virtue of it WANTING to be covert. having a support system of friends really made the difference for me, i think.

as far as getting in touch with yourself, there are a few things you can try; art has been a big way for my alters to express themselves through something i enjoy doing, so finding something to bond over could be good. journaling often, leaving up little notes for yourself, or maybe pulling threads you feel compelled to follow (clothes you wouldnt normally wear, a strikingly specific character design, a comfort xyz that you dont necessarily vibe with, specific music that makes your brain buzz) have also all been pretty noteworthy i think.

idk at the end of the day i think if you feel like you have some kind of disturbance like that, you probably do. it might not necessarily be alters, or a system, but trauma can have a really wide range of effects on your brain and theres a spectrum of ways it can manifest. if this one is compelling you to dig into it, then you should i think! its not like youre taking resources out of other peoples mouths, it really doesnt work like that.

anyway ive been typing for so long i dont remember if i had a good conclusive wrap up so! if you have any questions just lmk :->

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