#its love at first sight phil adores this woman and has no idea why | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sourcherrybomb · 4 years

Text

SoKai Week 2020 - Day 2 - For ____ Eyes Only

Synopsis: During the time period Kairi was within Sora’s heart, she kept a handy mental diary of all the places and people she encountered. Let’s take a peek at it, shall we?

Sneak Peek: I’ve been in Sora’s heart for a little bit as of now. It’s a nice kind of… warm, if that makes sense. Like a perfect sunny day on the Islands. Knowing what kind of person Sora is, it’s unsurprising.

Tags: Light Romance, Adventure, Comedy, All Ages, F/M

Prompt for the Day: First Meeting / Unseen Adventures

Words: 3.5k

Fanart By: @softpinkbee

Entry 1: Welcome to Sora’s Heart. Population: 1 (I think)

Sooo… This is a thing that’s happening. All because of a stupid, literal world ending storm.

Oh wait, aren’t I supposed to start with “Dear Diary”? Not like I’m physically writing in a journal since I don’t have a body anymore… Ugh, Sora and Riku would probably poke fun at me if they found out that I kept one. Well sorry that I like to be sentimental and have a way of remembering and planning our future adventures, lazy bums.

I’m getting ahead of myself, aren’t I? I’ll do this once to get it over with.

Hello there (mental) diary, my name is Kairi! I’m 14 years old and I lived on the Destiny Islands before I somehow ended up in Sora’s (my BFF and lazy bum #1) heart. That little mishap took place right after I met this weird old guy in brown robes in our Secret Place. I don’t know where Riku (my other BFF and lazy bum #2) ended up, but somehow Sora got sucked into a black hole that sent him… Or is it us? To another world called Traverse Town.

I mean the boys and I always planned to travel to other worlds, just not like this. We were supposed to travel by raft, I was supposed to have a body, and it was going to be all three of us… Okay maybe I asked Sora if he wanted to go alone with me, only to end up chickening out at the last moment, but this current situation is not what I had in mind!

Apparently these monsters called the Heartless destroyed our world, sending us to Traverse Town. I feel bad.

Sora was lost and alone. I knew because I felt it in his heart.

Luckily, Sora has met a lot of new people since arriving. There were these two girls, Aerith and Yuffie, that I would have loved to talk and meet with. Selphie definitely would have loved to meet Aerith, she was so pretty! Besides them, Sora also met this edgy guy named Leon (who kicked his butt) and a cranky old mechanic named Cid. More importantly, Sora met this talking duck and dog named Donald and Goofy. They’re pretty entertaining, so I hope they can keep Sora company since I can’t speak to him and we lost Riku.

I’ve been in Sora’s heart for a little bit as of now. It’s a nice kind of… warm, if that makes sense. Like a perfect sunny day on the Islands. Knowing what kind of person Sora is, it's unsurprising.

I just can’t shake off the feeling that there’s something… no, someone else in here.

Entry 2: Topsy? Turvy? Definitely Crazy.

Is it possible to have an out-of-body experience and a fever dream at the same time? Because that’s what Wonderland feels like.

Geez, where do I even start with this one? I guess with the talking rabbit entering the talking doorknob? Granted that rabbit was kind of cute, if not panicky. I could get used to that. Sora shrinking and entering a place full of playing card soldiers and a cat with a decapitated head (I think? He reattached it) are things that are going to take a bit to get used to.

Gosh, that feels like the understatement of the century.

I knew other worlds would be different than the islands. It’s just that going from a quiet city to a place where gravity is bonkers and playing cards can kill a person makes a girl really question what’s out there.

I wish I could take pictures so people would believe my words. Luckily this cricket named Jiminy has a journal where he keeps track of Sora’s journey. He stays safe inside Sora’s hood, so it’s sort of like we’re neighbors and journal buddies! I’d love to give him my point of view on things once I get my body back.

Oh one other thing before I forget, there was this one girl named Alice. I don’t know why, but she was giving off this really familiar aura. I couldn’t help but feel oddly drawn to her.

I feel like this won’t be the first time we come into contact with her.

Entry 3: Anyone else hear horns?

Like seriously, Sora and I both hear horns coming from this world, but neither of us have any idea as to where they’re coming from. This (extremely small) world is the Olympus Coliseum.

Sora, Donald, and Goofy got thrown into some challenges and ended up fighting waves of Heartless. Really makes me think about how I should have tried sword fighting with Sora and Riku. Sure, I’ve picked up some things by just watching them, but I think actually practicing with them would have helped me in the long run. I mean, I totally could have fought off that weird guy in the brown robes.

Ugh, just thinking about him gives me bad vibes.

Going back to the challenges, Sora totally got his butt handed to him by this guy, Cloud. It was way worse than the loss Sora took against Leon, I don’t think Cloud was holding back.

I’m thankful he didn’t finish Sora off. Partly because he’s my best friend, but also because if Sora bites the dust, then I’m also gone. It was rough seeing Sora lose again, but watching him take out a giant three-headed dog right after certainly was a sight. Although I swear I heard Hercules whisper to his little red friend, Phil, next to him that he weakened the monster.

Maybe. But since it felt like I was fighting alongside him, I’m not ready to count Sora out just yet. He’s grown so much stronger day after day.

Entry 4: Note to Self, Never Let Sora Drive

You know, if the three of us did leave on that raft as planned, I always had a feeling that Sora might fight with Riku over where to take us. Sora’s never been one for his directional skills, that was always more Riku’s forte. Because of this, I always mentally prepared myself for the event where Sora would get us super lost.

WHAT I DIDN’T MENTALLY PREPARE MYSELF WAS FOR SORA TO CAUSE A GIANT SPACESHIP TO CRASH BECAUSE HE ARGUED WITH A TALKING DUCK!!!

That’s not even where it ends! This Deep Jungle is nuts! There’s a leopard that’ll attack you like every five steps, there was a giant Heartless that turned invisible, and Sora even got a gun fired at it! Granted that last one was because of some hunter jerk with a stupid mustache, but if he’s from this world, he’s part of the problem.

The only saving grace was the fact that there are giant tree trunks that act like slides and as many vines to swing on as I wanted to. Tarzan has got to give me some tips when I have the chance to meet him, it was like he was flying through the trees! I’d honestly enjoy the chance to talk to Jane myself as well. She seems so smart and would have so much to talk about. I think she’d make pleasant conversation. That being said, when she showed Sora a picture of a castle in the slideshow, I couldn’t shake this sense of… familiarity. Like I had seen it or something like it before. But where…?

Even though this world and I got off on the wrong foot, once I get my body back, I’m definitely making Sora bring me here so I can do all that!

Although I still have no idea how that’s gonna happen.

Entry 5: I don’t know why, but this place feels oddly familiar

Today may have just been one of the best days I’ve had since I’ve been living in Hotel Sora’s Heart, over here!

For starters, dogs. Sooooo many dogs! Leon told Sora about all of these Dalmatian puppies that got scattered across the various worlds. They’ve been taking the time to rescue all 101 of them, and they’re absolutely adorable! Ahhhhhh, I can only imagine playing with everyone one of them.

Secondly, I’m finding Traverse Town a lot more comforting than I originally did. Something about the tall building walls makes me feel nostalgic. I never was from the Islands to begin with, but where I originally came from is a mystery to me. I don’t think it was Traverse Town, but maybe it was another city. I’m sure that in travelling to other worlds, I might be able to remember more!

Today I even got to talk to Sora a little bit, albeit by accident, when he and his friends wandered into this old tower. I looked around and said to myself that it reminds me of the Secret Place, all dark and surrounded by stone. I never expected Sora to hear or see me! I had so much more to say, but when this wizard guy showed up, Sora couldn’t hear me anymore.

But that’s not even the best news: Right after, Sora ended up running into Riku! He’s safe! It was brief, Riku ended up disappearing moments after, but now we know he’s out there and can protect himself. Sora was even able to protect Riku from one of the Heartless!

Never thought I’d see that day where the roles were switched. It suits Sora.

Entry 6: I hate sand.

I may find not having a body to be a major inconvenience, but for once I’m quite pleased at the fact considering Agrabah, the world Sora and his friends just left, was full of sand.

At its worst, sand was rough, coarse, and irritating. It already got into my clothes back on the Islands, but around here I’d imagine it gets everywhere.

That being said, this world has got to be one of the most adventurous we’ve been to so far! Desert temples filled with treasure, magical genies, all in a faraway kingdom? It’s like all the games Sora, Riku, and I used to play when we were younger. If only Riku joined with Sora back in Traverse Town, he would have loved this!

One odd thing though, we ran into another woman, Princess Jasmine, who gave me the same vibes as Alice! Turns out she’s more than just a regular old princess, but one with special powers. I wonder what it could all mean...

Entry 7: Did you know that the stomach would eat itself without the mucus lining its walls?

Back on the Islands when Sora, Riku, and I made plans to leave on the raft, we always wondered what kind of animals we’d see. The one that would always pop into our minds was a whale since they might be big enough to swallow us whole.

We always laughed it off and went back to working or playing, so actually getting swallowed whole by one feels very ironic. It’s a lot grosser than I thought it would be. Smells like fish everywhere you go, so I really hope Sora, Donald, and Goofy take some showers once they leave.

This whale named Monstro even swallowed this old man and his son, Gepetto and Pinnochio. The latter is somehow a walking, talking puppet!

But what’s even crazier is that out of all the worlds, Riku shows up here, only to kidnap Pinnochio! And not just that, I think he knows where my body is. Geez, Riku was being a real jerk about it, though. Said that Sora was fooling around and not helping, when I know for a fact that he’s doing more that Riku has! I mean, I’m in the guy’s heart, that’s gotta count for something!

I wish I could tell Riku that all this time, Sora has been protecting me. I know I give him a hard time every now and then, but out of all the people in the world, I’m really glad I ended up in his heart.

Entry 8: Rival Redhead Acquired

I know that my last entries make me seem like a jealous person, but mental diary, trust me when I say that I’m not usually one to be envious of others.

Until now.

Being in Sora’s heart, I sort of get a feel for his emotions. By all means, even without being inside him, Sora is pretty much an open book to begin with. It’s just that in being directly connected to his heart, I can feel almost every emotion he has. That includes the mess of emotions he felt when he came into contact with this mermaid named Ariel.

Yup, a mermaid. Atlantica is full of them.

It’s a pretty cool world! There are sunken pirate ships, an underwater kingdom, even a giant sea witch that Sora defeated! But nope, the thing that makes Sora’s heart flutter is another red head when he already has one right here! Ughhh, I’m really glad this diary isn’t physical, I might die if Sora or Riku ever found out I think stuff like this.

Still, Ariel isn’t a bad person so it’s not that I dislike her. She also loves adventure and wants to see other worlds. Moving past my jealousy, I think I’d love to be friends with her some day. Ariel and I are similar, but I think I at least have something over her.

Sometimes when Sora talks about me, he gets this squeezing feeling in his heart. Now I’m not gonna let Sora or Riku tease me over my feelings, I’m sure gonna tease Sora about his once I get my body back.

Entry 9: A lot more tricks than treats!

Halloween has always been one of my favorite holidays. I enjoy going around to houses and getting candy, but I enjoy scaring Sora even more so. I mean, I definitely did that outside of Halloween, it’s just that the holiday made it feel special.

Needless to say, Sora finding a world exclusively dedicated to it is probably one of the best things I’ve ever found out! When Sora, Donald, and Goofy arrived, they even got special outfits to blend in! With Sora being a vampire, I could see Riku being a werewolf, but when it comes to me, I can’t choose between being a witch or a scarecrow.

There are even monsters! There was a talking skeleton who was surprisingly nice, a mad doctor, and a giant living sack of bugs! (It was super gross when he was defeated.) Sora got a bit squirmy when he died, so I really wish I was there to double down and make Sora sora yell out loud!

I definitely want to go to Halloween Town when all of this is said and done.

Entry 10: I miss candy…

So Halloween Town was fun for the thrills and chills, but felt severely lacking in candy. I may be a disembodied heart without a body, but my heart aches for something sweet! Which is why the 100 Acre Wood was torture for me.

Pooh Bear and I would get along. He loves honey, I love candy, it’s like we’re two peas in a pod. I too would probably get myself stuck inside a tree if I was desperate enough for a sweet snack.

Pooh’s other animal friends are all so cuddly and adorable! Out of the cutest, I’d have trouble choosing between Piglet or Roo. Tigger reminds me of the stuffed animals I keep in my room. Part of me really wants to hold onto him and see if he can bounce around with me on it, like a pogo stick! When it comes to Eeyore, in all honesty I kind of just want to give him a hug...

Honestly this place is a nice change of pace. No Heartless to be found, it’s always a clear and sunny day out. When it’s night time there aren’t any clouds so you can see all the stars in the sky. I remember all the stories that Sora used to tell me about the constellations instead of learning how to find his way with them. That was more Riku’s job.

I’m glad to know that what I’m feeling when I look up at the sky, Sora is feeling the same. Take your time and relax, you’ve earned it.

Entry 11: It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s Sora, Donald, and Goofy!

Forget swinging through trees, forget playing with countless puppies, and forget scaring Sora, when I get my body back, I’m making Sora take me to Neverland so I can fly up high in the skies!

Wait no Kairi, focus, there are more pressing things at matter. Mainly, Riku has become a full on jerk, has sided with the Heartless, and is dragging my lifeless body around with him! I mean, my eyes were open, but my body was basically a ragdoll without me in it. I mean on the brightside, Sora was absolutely brimming with joy when he realized my body was safe.

That may or may not have made me feel an indescribable amount of joy and embarrassment, mind you.

I mentioned having an out of body experience in Wonderland, but having a literal one felt even weirder. When Sora got close enough it was possible for me to twitch my hand a little, sort of like I was reconnecting with my body. Sucks that it ended up being dragged away, I was this close to getting it back. What sucks even more is that Riku ended up fleeing to this Hollow Bastion place with it.

Still it wasn’t all bad. Body or not, I was still able to fly around with Sora. He doubted that I’d believe him if he told me.

I don’t think he’d believe me if I told him what I’ve been up to in his heart.

Entry 12: Riku…

I’m back in my body. I wish it was as simple as Sora making contact with it, but things took a turn for the worse this time around.

I need to start from the beginning.

Right before we reached Hollow Bastion, Sora was able to connect with me. He awoke a memory of mine that I’d long forgotten since I came to the island: my favorite story that my grandmother would always tell me. Remembering it gave me this warm feeling, one that intensified when we arrived at Hollow Bastion.

Only to have that feeling crushed when Riku took the Keyblade from Sora.

I’m glad Sora was able to get it back and knock some sense into Riku, but for a moment Sora really felt at his lowest. Sora was able to become his old self again, but deep in his heart was so much hurt at the fact that he lost Riku to the darkness. Not just any darkness, but from this man named Ansem. He was the one who revealed I was inside Sora’s heart. Sora was able to beat the possessed Riku, but in the end he made a sacrifice I don’t think I could ever pay him back for.

Losing Sora in my arms made me feel even more useless than I did while I was inside his heart. Interestingly enough, when my heart left Sora’s body, I felt another leave as well. It wasn’t like Sora’s heart, but certainly had similar vibes to it.

Regardless, somehow I was able to bring him back from being a Heartless, but the feeling of losing him in my arms like that is something I don’t want to experience again.

We ended up leaving Hollow Bastion shortly after that. When Sora and I were alone, I was finally able to tell Sora that I was with him the entire time. I had so much I wanted to tell him, but there wasn’t enough time in the world. Not to mention all the unfinished business we had back at Hollow Bastion. I wanted to come with Sora, but he was right. It is dangerous, and as much as I didn’t want to admit it, I didn’t really have any ways to protect myself...

I gave Sora my lucky charm. Wherever he goes, I’ll be there with him.

At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.

Entry 13: For Our Eyes Only

Hi there diary, this might be the last time I update this formerly mental journal.

Sora’s gone off on another adventure to save Riku. He saved all of the worlds, but wasn’t able to save his best friend. If I was in Sora’s shoes, which I might as well have been, I would have done the same thing for either of them. As for me, I’m back on the islands safe and sound. Part of me wanted to jump across the darkness and into Sora’s arms once more. But after fighting for so long to keep me safe, I think the best I can do for Sora is to let this one wish come true.

I know he’ll come back for me. After all, he still needs to give me back my lucky charm. And when he does, I’ll make sure to give him this handwritten diary to help him understand just exactly what I went through on this adventure. No…

Our adventure.

---

When I started this fic, I was honestly thinking about dropping it and starting from scratch with a new idea. Quite frankly, I’m glad I decided to keep at it. I’m pretty proud of the result and feel that I’ve made a somewhat creative little oneshot!

Once again, thank you to the Sokai: Destined Oath Discord server for introducing me to SoKai Week 2020! Special thanks to the server member Gee for acting as my Beta Reader.

Thanks for Reading!

#sokai #sokaiweek #sokaiweek2020 #day 2 #kingdom hearts fanfiction #sora #kairi #fanfiction #oneshot #F/M #sourcherrybomb

28 notes · View notes

totallypathet · 4 years

Text

Episode Eleven

Finally, some good fucking mini challenge. Everybody loves puppets! I always love the puppet challenge, it's good old fashioned drag race fun!

It looked like the girls were having a good time, lost of them did a good job... except Gigi. Gigi was just hard to watch. It's becoming a bit of a theme, and it's a shame. I also actually didn't think Jaida's was funny? They put laugh sounds (the trademark Roople cackle) over it, but she didn't tell any jokes, and she didn't deliver it like comedy. At least, not in the edit they showed.

Anyway, the main challenge for this week was to write a one woman show! I was a little bit confused by the assignment, I wasn't sure if it was meant to all be comedy, or how far they were allowed to extend into other avenues. I also think 5 minutes is tough for a one woman show, it's not a lot of time to do more than one thing - so essentially you just end up with a comedy routine anyway. It was a bit bizarre.

And the guest judge was the legendary Whoopi Goldberg!!! I love Whoopi so much, I was so excited to see her on there! And she was a really great mentor and judge! She coached them all well, gave them good constructive feedback on their routines, and as a judge she was so constructive and good natured and funny! I just adore her.

Anyway, now the fangirling is done, let's break down this week...

1. Crystal Methyd

Crystal won a challenge!!! It's been such a long time coming, and oh my god she deserved it so much this week! Her show had me rolling, it was so absurd and ridiculous, I just loved it! And she was clearly having such a ball doing it, and we all know that's my favourite thing to watch. In fact, that was my favourite Whoopi critique, was when Ceystal was talking about how she wanted to make people laugh, and Whoopi said "So make it fun for you." Because that's 100% right, like most of the time if we (the audience) see someone is having fun, we'll have fun with them. Such an important lesson.

And Phenomenal Phil ended up being the absolute funniest one up there! Crystal gave us fun, she gave us absurd, she had puns, she had ridiculous dance moves, she had everything for me. I was so proud, the whole way through, because I felt like we were watching pure, unfiltered, unbothered Crystal Methyd. And she wasn't worried about being too weird, or if she was making everybody in the room laugh, she was just rolling with it, and enjoying it.

Also I loved her look! Again, such pure Crystal, I was tripping balls and I loved it.

10/10 for me this week, she deserved that win, and she deserves her spot in the top 4.

2. Gigi Goode

Gigi is literally unravelling before our eyes, and its genuinely really hard to watch. I think it's really getting to her now that she really does have serious competition, and she doesn't know how to handle it.

Her concept was really funny, and she had some great jokes in there, she had a great character as well, but Ross was right, it felt so scripted. She didn't trust herself to ad-lib in sections that the audience were really enjoying, she was too busy thinking about what her next line was, and it made it too stilted. It was a shame, because it had so much potential.

Having said all that, "go fuck yourself, Gary" was probably my favourite line of the night, because it just came out of nowhere for me. It's interesting, I think it felt worse somehow that there were parts that were really funny. I think 5 minutes of average laughter seems kind of fine - but if one joke gets raucous laughter, the silence is real obvious if the next joke fails.

Her runway was cute. I caught the reference, she looked good, she did the assignment. It wasn't anything special, which is (unfortunately) where most of Gigi's looks for the last few weeks have been for me. Given how she came in, with 4 incredible looks in episode 1, I've been disappointed.

3. Heidi N Closet/Heidi Afrodite

I feel so sad that Heidi's gone, I really thought she was going to make top 4. I feel like she's come such a long way from episode 1, and honestly no-one has charisma like Heidi has charisma. Also what am I going to do without her confessionals? Her, Widow and Jaida were carrying those confessionals, and now there's only Jaida left? Devastating.

But, unfortunately, she did deserve to go this week. Her performance was the worst. I honestly think there were too many characters. Also it was impossible to tell who was who, I think she needed differentiators, like Jackie had with the different glasses. I think she could have done one of 2 things; reduced the characters to just two, so it was easier to follow, or make the confusion part of the comedy. Like, it would have been really funny if she'd had these 4 characters, and she was running around trying to play them all and getting the wrong voice or accessory, like "granny why are you talking like Slick?", or "give me back my glasses Sharon!", and it just ended up like "who are you again?" and just really play into that confusion. I wonder if she was trying to keep it too close to life, and forgot to exaggerate the comedy. It was unfortunate.

Her runway thooooough. That dress was so beautiful, and honestly her face was (I think) the prettiest it's been for the whole competition. The only shame about it was that that's not a lip syncing gown. Particularly not a Prince lip syncing gown. But it was stunning, she went out looking beautiful, with her head held high, and with such a bright future. I can't wait to see what she does next!

4. Jackie Cox

Jackie pulled it out this week. She did such a great show, it was funny, it was heartwarming, it was personal, and it told us so much about Jackie. I think Whoopi's coaching really stuck with her, when she said that she doesn't do stand up because she's not funny, she tells stories? I think they resonated with Jackie, and maybe took a little of the comedy pressure off, and gave her space to do something a little more personal, and tell her story, and not worry about telling jokes. I think that freedom really opened the space for natural humour, and I think Jackie is naturally funny! She did an excellent job this week, and I was so proud.

Her look this week, I enjoyed; it was high concept, high drag, but also really fun! I didn't get the reference at all, I think it's to a song, but I have never heard it. But honestly that didn't even matter, I thought she looked like a haute couture grinch. It was out of the box for Jackie, not at all what I expected, and I loved it.

5. Jaida Essence Hall

I think Ross nailed Jaida's performance when he said "I bet it was hilarious when she called her best friend and told that story". Because I bet it was! Shit, I'd laugh if my best friend called me up and told me that story, but it just didn't work in a stage context. It was a real shame, because I could see that she was trying, and that she knew it wasn't working. Jaida was in a really tough spot this week, because she went on after someone sho has no idea how to shut up and stayed on stage 12 minutes longer than she should have. Honestly, I dont know why they let her keep talking, they should have signalled her and stopped her.

Anyway, Jaida had to follow that, and honestly the best thing she could have done when she walked out there was acknowledge it. Say something like "I did have a story to tell you, but I've forgotten it now." Change the energy of the room. Honestly though, I think Jaida had the same problem as Gigi, she didn't trust herself. She knew that the audience wasn't feeling her story, I wish she'd just trusted that feeling and cut it off, done something different and tried to get the audience back on side.

All of that aside, she had (I think) the best look on the runway. It was so sleek, so chic, and so gorgeous. I loved it so much, she felt like a fashion front cover. Which, to be fair, she does most of the time.

She did deserve to be in the bottom this week, but she also really deserved to stay, and she really deserves her place in the top 4 as well.

So next week is the last week before the reunion! From the preview, it looks like they're all wearing their entrance looks again, so I'm excited to see what that's about. I'm also wondering how they're going to do the reunion. Will it be the same, just with more distance between the chairs? Will they do it by a zoom call? Will they just wait until this is over? Who knows!

One other thing I do really want to know though, is can Dahlia Sin finally go home now? She was eliminated first, and instead of letting her go home to her loved ones for comfort, they said no, stay and wear this broccoli costume every week and we'll use you as a sight gag. Honestly, poor Dahlia. That's going to become her oppalance, her Miss Vanjie, her cucu.

#drag race season 12 #drage race #drag race spoilers #rpdr #rpdr12 #rpdr spoilers #crystal methyd #heidi afrodite #heidi n closet #gigi goode #jackie cox #jaida essence hall

29 notes · View notes

chicklette · 6 years

Text

Final (full) chapter of my ode to @frostbitebakery’s flawless art. I made the story. The glory belongs to her.

Pt. 1 | Pt. 2 | Pt. 3

When Bucky is thirty-two, he recognizes that probably won’t ever move on with his life, and he’s making his peace with it. He runs cold - colder than any warm blooded man has a right to, and he has terrible dreams now - dreams where he’s trapped in ice or lost in the snow, dreams where everything around him is an eerie shade of blue.

He gets it - his soulmate froze to death in the space of a week, lost to the Atlantic, never to be found again. It’s horrible. When Bucky thinks about it, it’s horrible.

So he knows that’s why he’s having the dreams. Doesn’t make it okay, but he understands at least.

And maybe the world needed someone to truly mourn Steve Rogers, actual human being, versus mourning the loss of Captain America. Bucky doesn’t know the reasons, he just knows that he’s fallen flat every time he’s tried to move on, and he’s done with trying. He loves Steve, and he always will. There are plenty of folks who never move on from losing their soulmate.

Still, idle hands all that.

So he spends a lot of time at the center with Sam. At present, he leads one of the groups on new loss and grief, and another on making the choice not to date. He’s comfortable with his choices. He knows his family would like to see him at least try dating again, but Bucky can’t seem to convince himself that dating would be fair to anyone, not the way things are now.

He’s made his peace with his lot in life.

Bucky heads home from work, having upgraded to a third-floor walk up with two actual rooms and plenty of windows for natural light. As he opens the door, there’s a chirrup and Binx comes hurtling toward him, a little black ball of fuzz with great green eyes.

“Hello,” Bucky says, bending down to meet her little headbutt. She meows more and more, and Bucky answers. He tells her about the new nano tech that Tony Stark has invented, and how excited he is to play with it, and Binx, well, he imagines she’s telling him about a bird that landed on the balcony, or maybe the fierce battle she had with her toy mouse.

“Tell me all about it,” Bucky says, and Binx meows, meeps, and chirrups, leaving Bucky feeling delighted. He refills her food bowl and checks her water fountain, and she follows along, never letting Bucky out of her sight.

When he’s done, they go to the living room, where Bucky pulls out her toy basket and and sits down to play with her. When she’s had enough, Binx crawls into Bucky’s lap, rolls over to show her belly and purrs.

In truth, Bucky credits a lot of his recovery - because that’s what it feels like, so that’s what he calls it - to Binx. By the time Sam found him in that alley, he’d been wracked with sobs, trying hard not to shake too much, so that he didn’t disturb the cat. When Sam gently pulled Bucky to his feet, Bucky set the cat down and tried to walk away, but Binx wasn’t having it. She leaped up into Bucky’s arms, sat herself on his shoulder and purred very loudly into his ear.

“Looks like you got yourself a cat, man,” Sam said.

“I don’t...I - Yeah. I guess so.” (It should be noted that he did post fliers and ads, and he took her to a vet to see if she had a chip. He wasn’t going to just steal someone’s cat, geez, Sam.)

Since then, even on days when all Bucky wants to do is lay in bed and feel sorry for himself, he still has to get up to take care of Binx. The first time she woke him from a nightmare by laying on his chest and purring loudly, Bucky chalked it up to coincidence. However, after it happened three, four, five times, he began to think that maybe there was something there.

Regardless, he adores the little black cat, and she seems to love him right back.

He’s watching her leap through the air, going after a feathered mouse that Bucky was launching. Most of the time she’d catch it and bring it back for him to throw again. It’s a fun game, but his mind is wandering toward dinner when the phone rings.

Bucky considers letting it go to voicemail when he doesn’t recognize the number, but then remembers that he’d given his number out to a couple of guys at group, so he answers.

“Barnes,” he says.

“Mr. Barnes? This is Phil Coulson. We have - that is, there’s a - would it be possible for you to come to our headquarters?”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“There’s been - I’m sorry, I can’t explain more over the phone.”

A moment later, there’s a knock on Bucky’s door. Answering, he finds a big man in a nice suit looking at him from behind sunglasses and holding up a badge. The ID says SHIELD.

“Agent Coulson sent me,” the man says. “We’re ready to transport you to HQ.”

“Did you - there’s a guy here,” Bucky says.

“Oh, oh excellent. Rodney will accompany you.”

“What the hell is going on?” Bucky asks.

There’s a quiet pause on the phone, and Coulson speaks again. “I’m sorry,” he starts. “I can’t tell you anything over the phone. Your line isn’t secure. If you’ll come to headquarters, I’ll explain everything, but please, come now?”

Bucky’s feeling suspicious, but also - God - is it hopeful? He’s feeling hopeful? Whatever it is, it’s unexpected.

He wants to say no. He has no doubt that whatever is going on is going to set his recovery back, no question about it.

But he also knows that if he doesn’t go, the curiosity will plague him. He’s fucked either way.

Locking up, Bucky follows Rodney out into the hall. When Bucky heads to the staircase, Rodney taps his arm.

“This way, please, Mr. Barnes. We have a helicopter the roof.”

“A helicopter,” he repeats, stunned.

With a touch to Bucky’s elbow, Rodney reminds him that they need to get moving. Bucky follows him up the staircase.

Bucky’s not sure what’s going on, and as he wonders, he realizes he’s getting warm. True, he’s walking up several flights of stairs, but then, he does that every day anyway. When he grabs the banister, his fingers tingle with warmth.

“What the…?” He stops, touches his fingers to his face, and he feels warm all over, warmer than he’s felt in years now.

“Oh, god,” he says, holding tight to the banister, then leaning against the wall. “Oh, god. You found his body, didn’t you?”

As the helicopter lands at SHIELD headquarters, Bucky watches as Phil Coulson crosses the landing pad to meet them.

As soon as the door’s open and the headphones are off, Bucky’s in his face.

“You found his body. Is that why I’m here? You found...you found….” Taking another steadying breath, Bucky leans down, hands on his knees.

“Mr. Barnes, please, if you would just come with me.”

Coulson places a steadying hand on Bucky’s arm, and Bucky straightens and follows him, head spinning. The SHIELD office are neat and spacious. When they get on the elevator, Bucky’s surprised when it greets him.

“Barnes, James Buchanan. Welcome to SHIELD.”

Bucky gives Phil a questioning look, but Phil just smiles his Mona Lisa smile.

“Mr. Coulson, all due respect, but what the hell is going on?”

“Just a few more minutes,” he says, and then leans forward as the elevator requests a retinal scan.

“Security level seven access denied. This floor is for authorized personnel only,” the elevator says. “Mr. Barnes is not authorized.”

“Override protocols,” Coulson says. “Authority: Fury, Nicholas J.”

There’s a pause before the elevator says, “Protocol override approved by Fury, Nicholas J.”

Just then, the elevator doors open and Bucky is taken into a small conference room with a very large screen. There are a couple of other people at the table: a beautiful woman with her dark hair up in a twist and a quiet aura of strength; a black man in a leather trench coat with a patch over one eye, and a redhead who looks like...it’s just that she kind of looks like….

“Holy shit you’re the Black Widow,” Bucky says, unable to contain himself.

He leans back against the door, trying to steady himself. Whatever is going on, it’s big. There is no way they’re gonna let him in a room with the Black Widow of all people if it isn’t something big.

“Have a seat,” the black man says. The brunette woman tosses a file folder his way, and Bucky takes it, opening it to see a stack of papers littered with little yellow “sign here” post-its. He looks up at Coulson.

“Mr. Barnes, this is Director Fury,” Coulson says, indicating the man with the patch, “Maria Hill, and, I believe you recognized Miss Natalia Romanova.”

“Mr. Barnes,” Fury says, and Bucky finds himself straightening up at the sound, like a kid caught daydreaming in class. “The information that we are about to share with you is highly classified.”

Bucky nods. “Go on.”

Two hours later, Bucky’s still in a state of shock. What they’re talking about isn’t possible, but he’s looking at the proof: Steve Rogers lays in a hospital bed, his breathing deep and even.

He’s dressed in soft pants and a t-shirt that’s maybe just a little too small. Bucky doesn’t want to think about someone handling him - dressing or undressing him, not while he was so vulnerable.

He’s - Christ, he’s beautiful.

His long lashes lay against his cheek, tipped in blonde so light they almost disappear. There’s color in his face, his cheeks are a little flushed, his bottom lip is plump and red. Bucky wonders whether the room is too warm for Steve, but Bucky feels fine, so he lets it go. Otherwise, Steve’s skin is pale, but not unnaturally so.

Fury asked Bucky if he felt anything different, anything strange. The doctors said they couldn’t detect any brain damage, but they also couldn’t believe that anyone could survive for as long as Steve had without it.

Bucky doesn’t know what to expect. He’s trying to think of how to introduce himself when Steve’s breathing picks up.

He watches as Steve comes awake, blinking once, twice, before sitting up and looking around.

The room is modern but sparse. Director Fury suggested mocking the room up to look like it was still 1945, but Bucky rejected the idea. Steve’s a smart man. Any pretense will impair their trust from the beginning.

Steve’s looking down at himself, then around the room again, before his eyes land on Bucky.

He stares, squinting a little and looking confused. Bucky’s just about to say something when Steve speaks.

“Bucky?”

Bucky can’t fight the smile, or the tears that wet his eyes on hearing Steve say his name. “You know me?” he asks.

“You’re Bucky. You’re...how do I know you?”

Nodding, Bucky looks away, swallowing hard against the lump in his throat.

“Where am I?” Steve asks, and this one, Bucky can answer.

“New York - Manhattan actually. In a SHIELD facility. Ahm, I guess you used to know it as the SSR? They’re not called that anymore, now they’re SHIELD, and don’t ask me what that stands for, because, buddy I have no idea.”

Steve takes a deep breath, then takes another look around. Bucky watches as Steve notices the decor, the materials that everything is made of. His eyes flick over the keypad entry to the next room, then flick back, studying it for a moment.

He turns to look at Bucky again. “When am I?”

Dipping his head down, Bucky scratches the back of his neck. It’s not that he feels sorry for Steve, but Christ, how the hell is he supposed to explain this?

“What do you last remember?”

Steve sits up straighter and presses his lips flat, and it’s that fight me stance that Bucky is so, so fond of.

“The Valkyrie. I had to bring her down.” His words are resolute.

Bucky nods. “We thought you went down in the ocean. They searched -- god, Howard Stark never gave up searching. But it turns out you went down over Greenland. They think that the heat from the plane melted the snow, until it sank down into the ice, and the next snowfall covered it up. Then global warming came and the permafrost finally shifted enough to bring the plane back up to the surface.”

“How long?” Steve asks. “How long was I down there?” Steve’s squaring off again, his tone a little bit angry and Bucky can’t help but see the spitfire kid he grew up laid over the righteous man in front of him.

“Alright,” Bucky says, holding his hands up and not even fighting the fond smile taking over his face. “Okay. You,” and this part is hard. This part is so hard. “You’ve been gone for almost seventy years.”

Bucky’s not sure, but he thinks his voice trembles a little at the end. He feels something like a sob rising in his chest, a feeling of overwhelming sorrow, decades lost, but that can’t be right because if it is, that means...that means….

“Oh, God,” Bucky says, . “Is that you? Jesus, Steve.” He brings a hand up to rub at his chest, right over his heart. “Steve, I’m so sorry.”

Steve looks alarmed, like he’s going to bolt, and Bucky gets his head together long enough to do the thing he was brought here to do. The thing that no one else in the world could do. He gathers up everything he feels for Steve, all of the affection, all of the hard-won peace that he’s found, his acceptance that he’d never know Steve, but that he’d love him all the same. For the rest of his life, he’d love him all the same.

He takes that ball of emotion and he pushes it into the Steve-shaped space in his heart, in his mind.

Steve gasps, and bodily sways back from Bucky, eyes growing wide. “You’re- how?”

Bucky stands and approaches Steve, reaching his hand out, moving so slow. Steve watches as Bucky nears, his expression inscrutable.

As gently as he can, Bucky brings his hand to Steve’s, brushing the tips of his fingers over the back of Steve’s hand.

He’s holding his breath, and Steve is, too.

The moment they touch, it’s -- it’s nothing Bucky’s ever felt before. All the years of hurting, of loneliness, all of the times that he’d longed for Steve, ached for him, all of that disappears. Instead, he’s filled with all of the other stuff, the good stuff. He’s filled with the moments of watching Steve grow up, his fondness turning to affection, turning to love. He’s left with the pride he felt at what a good, decent man Steve became, he’s left with his acceptance of a life without Steve, quietly loving him, his whole life through.

Steve’s eyes widen, and he reaches out, taking Bucky’s hand in his. Bucky wants to use the connection to push all of his love, all of his strength into Steve, but instead he’s hit with Steve’s feelings, and nothing could have prepared him for that.

He feels Steve, lonely, scared, and cold, and then he feels when that shifts. He feels Steve’s curiosity, his excitement. He’d waited so long for his soulmate, and somehow, there Bucky was. He watched as Bucky grew up, through Bucky’s angry years, and his attempts to say good-bye, his attempts to move on, and then through his hard-won peace. Steve got all of that, loved all of that.

“How…?” Steve asks.

“I don’t know,” Bucky says, looking down at their entwined fingers. “I don’t really care.”

Reaching up with his other hand, Steve strokes his fingers along Bucky’s jaw, tilting his face up toward Steve’s. Bucky’s eyes flutter closed for a moment.

When people talk about meeting their soulmate, they talk about how it feels like home, how they just knew.

None of them ever talk about the absolute absence of pain, of fear, of doubt.

This isn’t coming home.

This is safety and comfort, admiration and affection, and the softest stirrings of lust. This is certainty he didn’t know could exist, and all of it bubbling along a current of joy that sings through Bucky’s entire being.

This is love.

“I didn’t think you existed,” Steve says.

“I never thought this could happen,” Bucky replies.

He reaches out, puts a hand on Steve’s hip, and a moment later, Steve is pulling him forward, into his space. His eyes are bright blue, and in them, Bucky sees everything he’s ever wanted.

Steve’s fingers are holding tight to Bucky’s shirt, Bucky’s hand.

“I’ve waited my whole life for you,” Bucky says, squeezing Steve’s hip. “My whole life.”

Steve smiles. It’s small but it’s grateful. Hopeful.

Leaning down he presses a soft kiss to Bucky’s lips, before pulling him into his arms and holding him tight.

Bucky nestles his head into the crook of Steve’s neck, breathing him in, and he smells exactly the way Bucky always thought he would. This is the part that feels like home.

Bucky and Steve are finally home.

A/N: This is the last full chapter, but I am writing a little epilogue that will go up at some point this weekend when I have actual time to write again. This will eventually post to AO3.

Thank you all for going on this ride with me. You have been nothing short of amazing, and I have LOVED getting to know some of you.

Last but not least, thank you to @frostbitebakery who is as kind and generous as she is talented. Go peep her art and give her some love. She deserves every bit of it.

#chicklette writes things #shrunkyclunks #soulmates #au #stevexbucky #stucky #fic based on art #fanart

588 notes · View notes

theconservativebrief · 5 years

Link

Ralph Breaks the Internet is a picaresque, a joyous romp through the backwaters of the internet that nevertheless packs a powerful punch. At first blush, I’d say it falls just short of its predecessor, 2012’s wonderful Wreck-It Ralph, but maybe I need to see it five more times before saying anything so bold.

And when I say it’s a “picaresque,” I mean it. Like the novels that bear this genre label, it’s an episodic journey through an unfamiliar place, following a merry band of travelers as they visit various corners of said unfamiliar place.

At first, the adventures of ’80s video game villain Wreck-It Ralph (John C. Reilly) and ’00s racer game heroine Vanellope (Sarah Silverman) seem largely disconnected or plot-driven. But little by little, the voyage reveals itself to be plucking at unexamined emotional bonds between the two.

Perhaps the best-known American novel to fall under the definition of “picaresque” is The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, a veritable buffet of tropes from all sorts of genres in which Huck and his friend, the escaped slave Jim, float down the Mississippi. As they get deeper and deeper into the South, Jim faces more and more danger, and the humor slowly drains from the book. As the threat to Jim’s life increases, the story becomes about Huck having a moral reckoning with the institution of slavery he’s grown up alongside.

That is … not what Ralph Breaks the Internet is about, but it’s rather remarkable how closely it follows the same structure, as Ralph and Vanellope plumb the depths of the internet in search of a way to purchase a piece of hardware they need to fix her game back at the arcade where they both live.

They riff on eBay and social media and the dark web, and though the movie is crawling with brand names — whether the sight of a giant tower marked “Google” will fill you with delight or dread is open for debate — it’s much more interested in the internet as a place that binds us together than as any specific series of corporate entities. But it’s also interested in how the internet might bind us together too tightly.

Here are three things Ralph Breaks the Internet gets really right about the internet you’re reading these words on right now. (Alas, Vox does not make a cameo in the film.)

Ralph and Vanellope look out upon the wonders of the internet. Disney

For all its weird adoration of brand names, the first scene where Ralph and Vanellope find themselves online is a visual marvel that captures a feeling I haven’t experienced in 20-ish years: the way it feels to hop online for the very first time.

The two step out of their little wifi portal onto a platform overlooking a vast city, darting with traffic. Little Twitter birds pass along JPGs of Grumpy Cat. Amazon and Google tower over the landscape, but there are plenty of other areas to explore too. It’s at once Times Square reimagined in a digital space and a portal to a wider world. Ralph and Vanellope head down into the throngs to find their way to eBay, and the adventure is afoot.

Later, Vanellope muses that the internet seems disconnected from the day/night cycle of the real world; when you’re online, it feels like the sun is always up. And given that the movie is organized around a pretty strict time limit — after winning her replacement part in an eBay auction, Ralph and Vanellope have 24 hours to cough up the money to pay for it — this “always on” quality makes it a bit difficult to keep track of the story. But Vanellope is right, in the sense that Ralph Breaks the Internet captures that weird, buzzy feeling that comes from being online too long, from feeling like there are a million possibilities ahead and you haven’t even come close to exhausting them.

In some ways, this makes the movie’s inability to imagine the online space in a way that goes beyond a very direct representation of it a little disappointing. Yes, that big, bold city is a lot of fun to look at, but its architecture (which is built atop the very real electronic architecture that houses the internet) never quite conveys the wild, “anything can happen” sense of the internet at its best.

And even if the sequence when Vanellope meets all the Disney princesses (which has been heavily teased for months now) is mostly a lot of fun, the corporate synergy turned my stomach just a bit.

If you place all these gags in the context of Ralph Breaks the Internet co-director Rich Moore’s career, however, they make sense. Moore got his big break taking the piss out of pop culture on The Simpsons and Futurama, and the Wreck-It Ralph movies are among the few big-screen films to manage the same joke-a-minute, satirical snap of those TV shows.

The satire’s a little milder here — Disney’s not going to let him truly mock the princesses — but it’s easier to take the jokes about popular brands when Moore’s the one at the helm. He knows just how to lean into the unhinged nature of the web and speed through them fast enough to keep you from feeling too queasy.

Ralph and Vanellope meet a new friend named Shank. Disney

The script for Ralph Breaks the Internet (by co-director Phil Johnston and Pamela Ribon) was written years ago, which makes it a poor fit for, say, critiquing our current, slightly terrifying online world. But even if it were more up-to-the minute, it’s not as though Ralph and Vanellope would blunder down a dark alley and meet a bunch of 4chan Nazis or anything like that.

And the movie does capture the bleaker side of the web all the same, whether that simply involves Ralph seeing a bunch of comments making fun of him or going to visit the dark web, which promises all manner of salacious items for purchase, right down to a creepy, snake-like virus that looks a little like one of the robot squid critters from The Matrix.

Ralph Breaks the Internet doesn’t want to solely portray the internet as a scary place, but I was a little surprised by how dark the movie was willing to go, especially as it entered a third act that isn’t shy about poking at its heroes’ insecurities.

Ralph and Vanellope meet a lot of fun new characters online — including Gal Gadot as Shank, who occupies an online racing game that catches Vanellope’s eye, and Disney regular Alan Tudyk as an old-fashioned search engine named Knowsmore. But it’s easy to see why Ralph keeps trying to turn back toward the arcade, where life is safe and predictable. To paraphrase Linus from A Charlie Brown Christmas, the internet hasn’t only gotten too commercial; it’s gotten too dangerous.

This marks Ralph Breaks the Internet as belonging to a specific subgenre of the picaresque, one that harks to old Hollywood — the story of two small-town kids who set out for the big city and find their friendship tried by what they encounter there. And it’s in that version of itself that Ralph Breaks the Internet ultimately packs its biggest emotional punch.

How is Vanellope not an official Disney princess? Disney

It’s really hard to talk about what ends up linking Ralph Breaks the Internet’s many loose ends in a third act that feels as bold and smart a story about what it means to live online as any we’ve ever come up with, because to do so is to spoil some of the story’s biggest twists. Suffice to say that if you’re at all familiar with the “two friends go to the big city” format, you’ll know that the big city will seek to divide them. And seeing Ralph and Vanellope realize they’re becoming very different people is legitimately heartbreaking.

But it’s everything that follows from that moment that pushes the movie to another level entirely, one that left me a little gobsmacked. Because ultimately, Ralph Breaks the Internet becomes a story about how entirely well-meaning guys can become toxic to their female friends, as well as a story about how hard it can be to realize that even the best of friends might have to take divergent paths to remain happy.

And the film realizes these themes on just about every level. Its script crackles with references to online toxicity (up to and including a pointed mention of a character who wants to “ride in on a white horse” — a nod to the idea of “white knighting,” when a “nice guy” tries, too aggressively, to come to the aid of a woman online). Its images depict how it feels to have all your vulnerabilities exposed for the world to see. And its themes connect in a way that will make sense to just about any viewer, young or old.

Ralph Breaks the Internet, like all good picaresques, meanders a bit during its journey, stopping to take several little detours that aren’t strictly necessary. Most of these detours are fresh and funny; a few tried my patience. But they’re crucial to what ends up being the film’s ultimate emotional effect. Ralph Breaks the Internet is a movie about how easy it is to forget that the internet is made up of people, sometimes even people you love, because it flatters you and batters you and deflates your ego, until you forget about anybody who’s not yourself.

Ralph Breaks the Internet is playing in theaters everywhere.

Original Source -> Ralph Breaks the Internet is The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, but for the internet

via The Conservative Brief

#IFTTT #The Conservative Brief

0 notes