#it's truly never worth it
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Sometimes we could all use a reminder. (source)
#it's truly never worth it#block them#block their followers#banish them to the shadow realm and go enjoy your day
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I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen ning#wei wuxian#wen qing#jiang cheng#Truly Massive disclaimer here: I am a Jiang Cheng enjoyer. I like his character. I enjoy that he is very flawed and volatile.#This episode of the audio drama has a lot of great breakdown scenes featuring JC - and they all deserve a feature.#But underlying this comic is a small meta comment of 'ah man I have too many comics of JC just wailing sadly'#My goal is to draw 6-8 comics per episode - I sometimes have to truncate and cut good scenes out.#Especially when a large majority is just different flavours of trauma and toxic relationships to your self-worth.#I would also like to make a note here that just because you lose the ability to do something that is very tied to your core identity-#-does not mean your life is over. It will feel like the end of the world. It will send you into a spiral of grief. It will hurt so badly.#Sometimes we do not realize how tied up our identities can be in certain things until we are cut loose.#You don't lose yourself. I promise the pain will fade in time. I promise you will find other things to tether you. I promise you will be ok#Life moves forwards. Time moves forwards. You move forwards.#Ego death just means an opportunity for ego rebirth. You are never committed to being the same person forever.#To wrap this around to JC: Yeah I love the twist with the core transfer but man I would have loved to see JC accept the loss.#Obviously it happens for a reason (story) but I can have my AUs. I can have these 'what-ifs'.#described in alt text#I'm trying it out! *please* give me feedback - I want to eventually Add image ID to all of these comics one day
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It really is so true that you never know what someone’s going through behind closed doors. I’ve made being gentle and kind my default bc I’ve had super put together friends disclose the most harrowing time of their lives to me and it’s like oh?? You were going through that???? I would’ve never guessed
#It’s easy to reduce people to side characters or caricatures but you never know. You truly never know what someone’s going through or what#Could push them over the edge. Cruelty will never be worth potentially causing someone permanent damage#I’ve realized this after having a conversation w a friend of mine who sailed straight to med school#Tons of leadership roles#Thriving social life#Yet she just told me her hair was falling out from anxiety. Never in a million years would I have guessed that she was struggling#But she was and lots of people play things close to their chest like that#I really wanna be kind each time I can and to also come from a place of compassion#Bc ik I’ve been misunderstood by people before who reduced me to a caricature or just didn’t know what was happening in my life#I want to actively work on extending the benefit of the doubt to the same people I would want to extend the benefit of the doubt to me
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i was hoping to make a post like this under happier circumstances, but here goes.
as some of you know, everything with the cancellation and renewal campaign has happened right on top of the worst part of my mom's cancer treatment (plus the show was cancelled on my actual birthday 💀). i won't go into details, but it's been tough. lots of ups and downs, mostly downs, luckily ending (for now) on as much of an up as circumstances allow. the whole thing has been weirdly tied to the cancellation for me, kind of amplifying every feeling. the grief got mixed up, and there was so much of it - mourning the loss of the kind of future i thought i'd have with my mother and the time we might not get, mourning the end of a show that means so much to me and is such a big part of my life. different types of grief, sure, and of different magnitudes, but in one big ugly swirl. i sort of had a breakdown right at the start of february, and it was because of news about my mom, but it morphed into my brain telling me everything i'd ever written was shit and wanting to delete it all. stuff like that, spilling over.
anyway. i was holding off on writing this post to see if the show got picked up by someone else. but i still want to say it. because what also spilled over was the support and community from this fandom, and being in this space (despite the rough times and high emotions) helped me through it, because of all of you here. whether we talk regularly, or you left a comforting reply or simply a like on one of my posts about having a hard time (i tried to keep them few), or wrote a nice comment on a fic, or said something funny or nice or insightful in the tags of a gifset, or was active here (or on twt) in any way, talking/sharing/creating stuff about the show - THANK YOU.
you all helped me through all the ups and downs, and i am so grateful. thank you for being here, listening, distracting, helping me feel some joy despite the horrors. i love you and i love this incredible show and all it has brought and will continue to bring and inspire, and although it should go without saying, i'm not going anywhere. just do me a favor and give yourself a big ol' hug from me, and know that you made a difference for some random guy on the internet (but in reality for many more, and for this fandom as a whole, just by being here and being you) 💕
#🐭📓#oh wow this got long#i grieved so much in january and never truly got my hopes up even though i of course wished something would happen#that the second “cancellation” message did not hit me as hard as it did for others - like i'd already absorbed that reality#but no matter what. all the effort was worth it - even for just the slightest chance of renewal and showing the cast and crew all the love#and seeing the fandom rally and all the fun moments we found along the way in a shitty situation none of us wished to be in#and for the record - i don't think this means there is no possibility of anything happening in the future#i just think the current/immediate negotiations fell through due to the current streaming landscape#you never know what can happen even if nothing happens for years#it's just that it's not happening right now and we shouldn't be at the edge of our seats. but instead settle into long term fandom mode#instead of constant campaign mode. keep showing all our love for the show and letting it inspire us and move us#and keep supporting the cast and crew in their next works#there is so much more to come from the same creative minds#and i for one am looking forward to experiencing it with you all 💗#ok i will stop rambling now skdjfhdjks
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I think people genuinely over estimate how well Gideon understands Harrow as a person, and vice versa.
Like, that's the whole point!! That's the tragedy!!!! Despite having spent their whole lives around each other as the only two children of the Ninth, despite being literally the only other people in the world they could relate to up until Canaan House, they still don't get each other!!
That's why even after the pool scene and acknowledging how both she and the Ninth house treated Gideon like shit, Harrow asks Gideon to go back to the Ninth house, which is an incredibly cruel thing to do!
At the end of GTN, Gideon fully acknowledges that killing herself would be the cruelest thing she could do to Harrow. She still does it anyways, and then in HTN acts so surprised and upset that Harrow rejects her sacrifice!! Like babygirl!! what did you expect to happen!!!!
Despite everything they've been through they legitimately do not understand each other on a fundamental level, and that's why their whole situation is just so fucking sad.
#the locked tomb#tlt#harrowhark nonagesimus#gideon nav#tlt spoilers#tlt meta#the locked tomb spoilers#and this is obviously wrapped up in their in their own self-hatred and lack of self-worth#their devotion to each other has more to do with their own problems than it has to do with the other person#gideon genuinely doesn't feel as though her life has any worth beyond being a sacrifice#so naturally she jumps at the chance to be useful#and harrow feels as though she can never really make amends for how she treated gideon#and so in her mind devotion is the closest she can get#truly they are the definition of just talking past each other#and it honestly all makes sense when you consider that there was exactly ONE day where they weren't at each others necks
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The assault at Sangravah happened in early ACOMAF (before Elain's existence even came into picture for Azriel - 3 days before he even got to meet Feyre)... So I don't get how G and Az are supposed to be mates when he's had all that time to feel something?
There's the parallel of Rhys' father feeling his mating bond snap into place the moment he met his mother being assaulted.
"One look at her, and he knew what she was..." (ACOMAF, ch. 16)
Or Rhys himself feeling the bond when Feyre was being tortured by Amarantha...
"And I knew as I picked up that knife to kill her... I knew right then what you were. I knew right then that you were my mate." (ACOMAF, ch. 54)
Or Cassian simply meeting Nesta. "Say what I've guessed from the moment we met" he breathed. What I knew from the first time I kissed you. What became unbreakable between us on Solstice night." (ACOSF, ch. 62)
Bonus from Nesta: “‘From the moment I met you, I wanted you more than reason. From the moment I saw you in my house, you were all I could think about. And it terrified me. No one had ever held such power over me."
Or even Lucien after Elain was Made and maybe even while being thrown into the Cauldron... I don't even need a quote for them, but even Lucien knew and has tried seeking Elain out after the incident.
It's stated in the books and shown again and again that it's the males who are deeply affected by the mating bond. That they can know from the moment they meet. They all in one way or another sought after the females. Even Nesta and Feyre felt something before they knew or opened themselves up to it. And since they all met - They. Couldn't. Stay. Away.
But there's like... no hint of it from Az after stumbling upon G? Like he just literally stumbles upon her - never actually even actively seeking her out through all those years? He hasn't even actively tried to stay away? He's just... *crickets*
It's been Gwyn making noises and attracting his attention through all their scenes together. It was Gwyn asking for dagger lessons. It was 'Gwyn' making Az the new ribbon (whatever that means). And it's Az's shadows reacting to Gwyn, not Az himself. But there's no real hint that Gwyn feels anything romantic for him. There's barely any interactions between them without linking it to her assault in Sangravah and her growth from it.
Besides Az's shadows reacting to G, and that ribbon moment that everyone deems so pivotal when Az realises what it means for the Valkyries (that he's had a hand in training) and maybe even reflects upon Gwyn's character development and therefore what the ribbon means for Gwyn - which made me feel proud too, and that's how I interpreted it - but I can't see an undeniable sign of it being a mating bond anywhere.
I thought at first that mayhaps he was giving her space because of the assault, but then the BC came and he went "It was too late to bank without appearing like he was running," and then "He wouldn't go so far as to call Gwyn a friend,". (ACOSF, Azriel's Bonus Chapter)
Let's not even mention the part where Gwyn was actually in danger (no matter how capable she was at that point), while Cassian was going ballistic at Nesta being in danger, but Az is all like "Let's go save Eris". Eris who both he and Cassian hates. Eris who Az himself nearly killed during the HLs' pre-war meeting (before he exhibited actual mate behaviour and sought and risked his life to save Elain who's not even his mate). But no, he gave just as much or even less action and reaction about Gwyn as Tamlin gave when Feyre was UTM.
And I was like...
How are they mates? Where's the mate behaviour every male - mated or not - in Prythian has exhibited throughout the books? Why did I keep seeing things about them being mates and endgame?
The only hint between them that I could even begin to consider it from is the second to last sentence in Az's BC.
"But Azriel tucked away the thought, consciously erasing the slight smile it brought to his face. Buried the image down deep, where it glowed quietly."
But I basically have the same interpretation about that as this post from @merymoonbeam. (Although I'm still neutral about the lightsinger theory, it's the most interesting take.)
Because again.
Why hasn't Azriel felt/shown anything or actively sought her out or even actively stayed away if he's known Gwyn since Sangravah?
If they're mates, shouldn't he have felt and shown something - like that glow - and Gwyn be the one to snap him out of his 'love' for Mor before he even had the chance to meet Elain? If he's just lonely and jealous of his brothers having mates then... Why has he barely noticed or sought out Gwyn who's supposed to be his mate?
What, he had to wait until his shadows reacted to her to even think about her?
I'm not an expert at analysing things - I wouldn't even say I'm good at interpreting things especially when I've got my rose-tinted glasses on, so/but I'm always open to being wrong and changing my mind accordingly.
But/so convince me with actual canon and not just your biased opinions, delusions, self-insertions, or ships.
#this is me questioning people's reading comprehension as well as my own#and me wanting to respect it even if i don't agree with it#this was also me anticipating the hint of them being mates while reading ACOSF for the first time 'cause their shippers were everywhere#but like... it never came?#did i miss something#triggered by the hate their shippers are spreading when there's nothing to truly back it up with#it's too bloody late for SJM to backpedal#don't you dare waste 4 books worth of really good foreshadowing and emotional investment#you can't just throw gwyn in there after all that#they all deserve better than that#mate behaviour#azriel acotar#pro elriel#azriel shadowsinger
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Gonna go do other angry chore things shortly because anytime I sit to chill, I start doom scrolling but I just have to say, it's not about us wanting them to keep making things for free forever. It's about how they're treating fans who would have given anything they could, if they had just let us know what was going on before it got to this point.
It's about they hyped this as a huge news drop that we would all be super jazzed about...and then said "well I guess you guys don't want to follow us, peace out" when we weren't.
It's about them not doing a minimum of market research, or just TRY to use other alternatives, because they don't want to do the hard lifting of self-promotion, or have the patience to wait for their community to grow as they put out the content we really wanted to see.
It's about them not even caring enough about their fans to consider international costs and money exchanges and cutting out anyone outside of the U.S. because they thought "anyone can afford this".
It's not about them being worth $6 a month. It's about them deciding that if you can't afford that, you are not worth their time.
#watcher#watcher entertainment#truly heartbreaking that I invested so much into a team that was just going to turn around and do this#we do not need fancy camera angles and cinematography#you will never win an oscar for ghost files#we just wanted the ghoul boys#and some of us did want worth it#but not in this economy#not anymore
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finally started reading my copy of the adventurer's bible world guide, and after laios' section there's a comic where he talks about their several dogs (to marcille). he criticizes what his father named two of them; he thinks they sound weird and come off as his dad trying to "sound cool". but marcille explains the names are from folklore and that his dad was probably trying to ward off hunting accidents by naming them after gods of archery
laios looks surprised and says "huh. i never knew that. he never told me anything." in the same comic, he also says his father "had no friends ... rarely spoke to [him and falin], and his only hobby was hunting"
and it just struck me reading this that his father was probably way more similar to laios than he would've ever believed. i mean it sounds like his dad was probably on the spectrum too - maybe a bit more adaptive than laios, considering he was the village chief, but obviously still bad if not worse at actually socializing with people, maintaining close relationships, etc... it sounds like he fell into his duties and a singular interest rather than try getting closer to his children
i do think that's quite sad... if laios and his father are both autistic, but in slightly different ways that made it extremely difficult (if not impossible) for them to communicate or, like... recognize each other
#banebabbles#dunmeshi#feel like there's more worth saying but idk how to phrase it#just like. laios cannot interpret subtlety. but his father was apparently incapable of being up front#they never had a chance of truly communicating with or understanding each other#and the idea that it is because they are the same in a fundamental yet incompatible way is like#ohhg oof ouch!
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Anyone ask for a needlessly long and emotional dissection of when and how Crowley and Aziraphale fell in love? No? Too bad.
I'm going to start with something controversial.
Aziraphale fell in love first.
To explain this, we gotta get a few things out of the way first.
FALLING in love and KNOWING you're in love are very different things. And the whole concept of LOVING someone and BEING IN LOVE are also different things.
Aziraphale LOVES Crowley from, well from before the Beginning. Because they are both angels and angels love. I would even accept the argument that Aziraphale LOVES Crowley throughout their flashback scenes before the Arrangement (because again, he is an angel).
The Arrangement is born out of a symbiotic want of Crowley and Aziraphale to fuck around and not do their jobs enjoy humanity.
It is my personal belief that Aziraphale FELL in love with Crowley in 1941 when he saves the books (not a hot take, I know).
He REALIZES he is in love with Crowley when he gets the Holy Water for him and the closest we get to that is this scene.
Aziraphale thinks that Crowley wants to use the Holy Water as some kind of last-ditch attempt to get out of trouble. He knows it will kill him, and is incredibly dangerous in general. But he does it anyway. Why? Because he knows Crowley would find a way to get it regardless (most likely some dangerous plan that will result in death or grave injury). At least this way Aziraphale can feel somewhat at peace with the knowledge that Crowley no longer needs to do something reckless to get what he wants. He overtly goes against Heaven in this act, and this is one of only a few times we see him do this to such a degree (see Job).
It is my personal belief, and I'm sorry to be this person, but I don't think that Crowley was IN LOVE with Aziraphale in this scene or in any before it (def well on his way, but we'll get there).
I think that Crowley was still hopelessly intrigued by this angel who did fantastical things, like drink and eat and immerse himself in the aspects of humanity he adored.
And another controversial take I have is that the "you go too fast for me" is not Aziraphale saying he recognizes Crowley's feelings and his own and that Crowley is too fast for him in that respect. Because again, I don't think Crowley is IN LOVE with Aziraphale here.
I think Aziraphale is saying you go too fast for me, you treat life like a speedrun to get to the good parts. Hell, Crowley slept through the 19th century because he wanted time to move forward. Aziraphale recognizes this. He's in love with this demon who won't slow down and appreciate the mundane, human things that Aziraphale treasures. He goes too fast. He never settles down.
(I could do a whole analysis on this scene, but we'd be here till GO Season 3 came out)
I also could accept the argument that Azi realizes he is in love in this scene here when he hesitates before saying friends (Michael Sheen I'm in your walls what the hell was this shit).
Because it does make sense that this is the first time we really see Aziraphale say what they are. But he hesitates so much. Keep in mind this happens AFTER the whole book saving incident. Does he hesitate because holy shit the person I like just did something really sweet and I see them in a new light? Possibly. I still think that Aziraphale deciding to give Crowley the Holy Water was his declaration. But I could be swayed.
Crowley is different in this respect. Contrary to popular belief, I think Crowley falls in love with Aziraphale slowly. So slowly that he doesn't even recognize it as being IN LOVE until it's pointed out by Nina.
Because he falls in love slowly, it's hard to pinpoint an exact scene where he is FALLING IN LOVE. I think throughout the first season (and before when the two are meeting up semi-regularly), when he and Aziraphale are trying to co-parent Warlock and the subsequent hunt for the real antichrist is the clearest I can get to him being IN LOVE.
(Putting this gif in because holy shit, I mean, fuck, bro)
Let me explain.
Until this point (the handful of years prior to and during S1), he and Aziraphale were ships passing in the night. Crowley liked the mystery, the excitement of seeing the angel every so often. Got joy out of teasing him. But this is when Aziraphale becomes more than that. He becomes more of a constant in Crowley's life. And ever since his Fall Crowley has craved stability. A safe place to land. He changes his hair, his clothes, his accent. But Aziraphale doesn't. He just... is. He is constant, mostly unchanging, and still endlessly intriguing.
Crowley is IN LOVE with Aziraphale when he realizes that Aziraphale isn't going anywhere (yet). Crowley can rely on him. And for Crowley, that's something he's never had before.
Crowley LOVES Aziraphale. And he is IN LOVE with Aziraphale, but I genuinely don't think he recognizes it until he could lose him. (He's always been a bit dramatic; it would follow that his realizations only occur under dire circumstances).
Here, when he feels he is losing Aziraphale, Crowley does the one thing he never has before: says what he's feeling. Granted, it's sandwiched by a sassy one-liner and being shit at communication. But it's there.
And I think that he thinks, it's a fluke. One moment of weakness.
But then it happens again. When he's losing Aziraphale. And he can't say anymore. He's done his speech, he's thrown out the nightingales. There's nothing for it.
He KNOWS he is IN LOVE with Aziraphale when he's losing him.
#totally open to discussing this further but please be respectful#this is just my interpretation of their characters#not saying it's the end all be all truth#I just think Crowley is a lot more slow about it than people give him credit for#He's naturally distrusting of others#It would follow that he would be distrusting of himself#theres also that whole self-worth stuff#He never feels truly worthy of forgiveness and says as much in season 1#100% prepared to walk all of this back when S3 comes out lmao#watch neil be like “actually they confessed their feelings in Heaven before Crowley fell because fuck yall”#good omens meta#good omens#aziraphale#crowley#ineffable husbands
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interesting how gale & wyll fans are often the ones who dislike astarion most lmao. it feels a little bit like larian doesn't respect them or their hopeless romanticism, and certainly not their kind approach to the world. out of the male origin characters, it's glaringly obvious that there's a favorite, and it just...sucks for everyone else.
#never mind how little wyll in particular gets#like. it stinks. i'm sorry#also? them being the more good-aligned characters is not a coincidence#goodness and kindness are not boring y'all#it's an active choice#i hate how people think they're less interesting because they're good and want to help people#i was going to put disclaimers on this like#'i'm not saying astarion's totally evil/not worth the character work!11!1! i like astarion truly i do#i just wish wyll and gale (and the other companions) had been given the same amount of care!!1!!1!'#but then i realized that 1) i can just block annoying astarion fans and 2) i don't need to defend myself for criticizing astarion#bg3 critical#larian critical#per plays#bg3#calm down per
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thinking about how sam and dean were made responsible for each other's physical safety and lives in high-risk, high-stakes environments from such a young age from going on hunts together (with John) and even if John mostly tried to keep them and especially Sam out of the worst of it can you imagine knowing your sibling lives or dies on your watch while most kids are worried about who they're taking to prom good god no wonder these boys are not normal about each other
#sorry for deranged 4 am posting/not sorry#codependency#spn meta#winchester brothers#like. i was specifically thinking about if they were on the outs about sthg or even a really serious argument#your brother just got torn up by a vengeful spirit? well better shelve that shit bc he might die#and it might be your fault bc your were pissed and distracted!#in that context is there anything worth getting truly upset over?#I mean of course they still do bc they're teenagers but. with a very different frame of reference from any of their peers#what counts as a 'serious' issue is just totally different#they live in a different reality#normal was never a possibility#!!!!!#musings#weechesters#the brodependency#spn
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At the start of this project all I wanted was to 'learn how to draw' using comics as a medium and the MDZS audio drama as inspiration.
I've come *very* far from making simple, 3 panel black and white comics, and I truly do intend to go even further. Thank you to everyone who cheered me on throughout 2023, it has been an incredible year in so many ways I never could have imagined. I look forwards to drawing throughout 2024 B*)
#poorly drawn mdzs#art summary#It's so interesting looking back at how my style and technique changed throughout the year!#I used PD-wwx as the consistent factor (October is an exception) and you can see so many processes going on.#My little petri dish amoeba (with a little red bow to tell him apart from the other amoeba) <3#Whether it's getting new markers or trying out a new shading style - it's cool seeing a snapshot of my journey like this B*)#There's certainly been a slower curve to my overt improvement *but* I have become so much faster!#My life outside of drawing has been hectic and at several points extremely stressful this year. For all the work this blog has been-#-It has truly been a life saving anchor when the darkest of times have hit.#Love is hard work. Change is even harder work. Sticking to a goal I set out for myself and striving to keep going was worth it.#And I love drawing. I think there has always been something in me that longed for this. And it is finally tangible! I can draw!!!#I wanted to make a more elaborate year reflection where I looked back at my favourite comics and jokes.#but I'll leave that to the one year anniversary.#I have also been collecting a ton of statistics throughout the year and I am desperate to share them. I'm that kind of nerd B*)#I can never say it enough: Thank you all for the kindness and support. I wish everyone a lovely 2024!!!
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Reframing whenever someone decides to leave you out of something or walks out of your life or just all around neglects your presence not as your loss but as theirs…. like that could have been so much more fun w me in it but I wasn’t and that will forever be your loss
#It might sound arrogant conceited etc but I used to deal w a lot of attachment anxiety bc id be like#That person is so cool. They’re so exciting. They know how to liven something up. I’m missing out on their energy#But now I think ab how they’re missing out on mine too and how they’re at the risk of losing me w every half assed action they take#Loss is never just one way if you know you bring value to something. I legit felt that yesterday for the first time in my life#Ruminating and clinging to ppl less has truly come at the behest of knowing I’m someone worth keeping around#And if you decide not to that’s a failing on your end and I don’t have to overcompensate by proving my worth to you
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Where A/tsushi accidentally (?) runs into a struggling A/kutagawa at the grocery store. D/azai might have arranged the whole thing.
First time voicing these guys, but I had to give it a shot for @goodlucksnez's birthday!! Vic I hope you know how deeply loved/cared for you are, and that you never listen to the absolutely ridiculous voices that tell you otherwise!! (Whether in your own head, or out of it <3)
(Quick drawing added last minute, dropping bigger version under cut~
Not snz, but that miiiight come later <333)
#waterfallwav#waterfallart#HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU BEAUTIFUL PERSON YOU!!!!#I seriously hope you realize that even if you don't see your own worth#SO SO SO SO many of us do!!!#and no matter what you say your content is NEVER trash and ill fight you on that any day!!!#watching shows with you- or just getting to squeal about lil guys#its truly such a pleasure every time <333#I know you're not feeling well and you have to work#but i hope today can bring you just a little joy~ like you bring to so many of us!!!#please take this lil wav/art as a small token of my appreciation for having such a wonderful friend like you <3#snzaudio#snzwav#a/kutagawa#a/tsushi#s/hin s/oukoku#s/skk
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i miss succession and the community it gave me </3
#i know most of you are still there but it's not the same. and that's okay because it's been nearly a year since it ended!! it's normal#but i also miss it. spring and summer 2022? some of the happiest time of my life!!! i've always wanted to be a part of something#and i truly got to experience that. and i am grateful!! but thinking about it makes me nostalgic and also a little sad.#mostly because i feel like i'm never going to have that again. and also because i miss the people. it's wild how you talk to someone daily#and now it's been over a year since we've been in contact. a specific kind of a heartbreak!!#yes the fact succ ended is hitting me now. a year later. everybody moved on i stayed here <3#but anyways i am so so grateful for all of the people who have been here experiencing the mass hysteria of succ together!!!! the past years#have been worth it because of you <3#yes the loneliness hit me bad. shhh it's midnight i'm allowed
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i think what hits most about nobara's backstory is everything that's left unsaid and peaks from between the lines. it's the fact you can easily infer that something was wrong without ever having clear answers on what exactly was wrong. but if you can relate to the feeling of wanting to escape a place and the alienation from everyone around you, especially when you're brought up in small communities, then you can certainly understand, if not fully then partially, nobara herself and the struggles she might have had to face all by herself for a very long time; maybe even the importance fumi and saori had in her life and the pain from having to part from them; and, perhaps the selectiveness in letting people in that she later on develops as well.
#the way her story is told from fumi's point of view is quite interesting#nobara's backstory is like a silent whisper without a lot of obvious context and told from someone else's perspective#someone who until the end never really understood her fully despite their obvious close bond#someone who we weren't even aware was part of her life#and nobara's peak emotional moment and the last person she thinks as her life is in danger is her and the promise she didn't accomplish#a promise to reunite with the friends that shaped her and her life#ah.#i find her last line so... powerful?#she definitely struggled growing up and the only two people she kept in her heart from her life before jujutsu were people that#moved to where she lived. saori didn't even stay in that place for long. and then she moves somewhere new and she meets people#and a group that actually feels like home a community where she fits in and suddenly they kind of break through making place in her heart#just for everything to come to a halt. to turn to shit. for her to see that shatter away little by little. and in the end she's put in a#position where she knows she will not be able to hold on to what she cares for the most. that she will hurt people that truly cared for her#for not being able to go back to fumi and rekindle the friendship with saori and for being forced to be another punch in the guts for yuuji#and everyone else that up until that point were forced to go through losses already and traumatic events#and she decides to encourage yuuji to go on a good note and she truly believes the people she met made it worth it#even if it was for a brief moment in her life#i am not being coherent right now but it pains me :')#she deserved so much better#and i will hang on tightly to the line saying that she had a small chance of survival until the end#because she deserves it she deserves to live 😭#i'm taking her from that stupid anime and putting her in a slice of life anime watch me#yuuji too. and everyone else. i'm taking the kaisen out of the jujutsu and you can't stop me#jjk spoilers#nobara kugisaki#jujutsu kaisen#jjk 💭#my post
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