Half of this sounds like rape and the other half sounds like abuse. I hate BDSM shit so bad go to fucking therapy

hey um ive always been desperate for my blog to be a safe space where ppl can interact with and discuss kink without needing to come across things like misogyny, cnc, and abusive power dynamics, so hearing this hurts

everything that i post or reblog assumes informed consent and i don't reblog cnc or anything that fucks with or pretends that there isn't that consent. i really dislike cnc and r*pe fantasies precisely because they romanticise noncon and blur the line between consent in daily life, and everything that i post is always from the perspective of two individuals who have discussed a situation beforehand and are comfortable with and enjoy it. i mean fuck the stuff that i love most about sex will always b the concept of two people having fun together, of helping someone relax and communicating with them abt what's gna make them feel best and how you can make them feel happy. i want that to come across in my writing and in the themes of this blog

at the same time ive seen a lot of blogs that emphasise consent in their bios and still post really gross cnc content and i don't want to just parrot that hypocrisy, so im going to try harder in the future to make sure that my posts / rbs can't be interpreted in a way that involves noncon. I do not ever want my content to be ambiguous with regards to consent and if it is then that's on me and im gonna do better

Okay, I've got a sincere ask, since you've got an insanely bright head on your shoulders and I need you to dissect the hell out of Dirkjake so I can use it as a hand guide to navigating smthn in my personal life but like- in one of your posts you state that Dirk's inability to communicate with Jake is (inherently the problem) where as Jake isn't as much at fault (you tagged it with Half Joking, so im treading lightly here) but i was wondering if you could elborate on that? Unless you were actually joking. If you weren't, I'd sincerely like to know why Dirk's communication issues (in terms of fault) highly outweigh Jake's affinity for denial and ignoring all of his issues outright. Are they not both equally at a disadvantage? Is Dirk actually The asshole for his inability to express himself properly?

Hi! Thank you, thank you I'm glad you think so but my supposedly bright head is mush atm. So my opinion on this rapidly changes wrt to post-canon, but that is my opinion on HS proper more or less. I'm not like, super serious on it bc as I've grown up I'm way less hardline on what was basically a messy teenage relationship. But I was very very opinionated on it when I too was 16. I don't remember when the post you're referring to was exactly so just (vague hand wavey) Basically my point is that in HS proper, Dirk and Jake are both bad at communicating, though people typically attribute Jake's lack of communication as being at fault for the ultimate relationship breakdown, alongside Dirk's clinginess. I don't think any of that causes the relationship breakdown as much as the channels of communication being broken on Dirk's end, so I think it's important to look at how Dirk and Jake communicate before any of that.

Okay so for starters, they don't. Dirk and Jake never have an on screen conversation so all Jake's attempts to communicate with Dirk are scuppered. Jake makes genuine attempts to communicate with the real Dirk throughout the first leg of the alpha kid arc, and is blocked every time. When Jake tries to communicate issues via Dirk proxies, he's shut down entirely. Off the top of my head, I'm thinking when Jake tells Hal about Brobot being "tender." Now, I don't ascribe to the belief that the robot is being inappropriate when he says this. I believe Jake is attracted to Dirk and the robot treating him more gently is sending his mind places. However, Hal's immediate response to this is to shut off novice mode, leaving Jake to fight the robot on the harder mode. Hal is not doing this because he legitimately believes this will make Jake more comfortable; he's doing this to fuck with him. Jake speaks up about an issue and is immediately punished for it because Dirk or Dirk-proxy is defensive -> Jake is less likely to speak up. (Side note: a lot of people say that Dirk is not aware of what Hal is doing and does not condone it. This is contradicted in the text when Dirk says he knows Hal is fucking with Jake and thinks it'll teach him to be less trusting in people, and does not contact Jake back himself. Dirk's issues with Hal interfering with Jake only arise later.)

Since they don't communciate, we don't have much to go on about how their conflict styles mesh aside from via Dirk proxies. Which is basically stuff like the above. So when we get to their largely offscreen relationship, the information the audience really has to go on is that Jake appears to have upped and left without saying anything and is hoping the whole problem really just goes away without having to text Dirk back, and Dirk is frantically trying to communicate with him, and assuming that he's too clingy. We don't actually know if Jake HAS communicated with Dirk. All we know is that he's not currently doing so.

My personal belief is that it's a bit of a leap to think that Jake has gone from being vague, dancing around issues, but bringing them up when the issue is actively on the table (brobot, Jane's crush, etc.) to immediately packing a bag and going to the hills without saying *anything.* I just think that Jake is less likely to press the issue if he thinks Dirk is going to take it the worst possible way, and to the worst possible extreme, and Jake is less likely to press an issue if he thinks he's upsetting someone. If "I think the robot is a bit tender" leads to "Ok I'll put the robot on *waterboards you in the sea and beats you unconscious* mode," then "I think I could use some time to myself for a little while" leads to "Ok, guess if you need space so bad I'll stop bothering you and we can just stop hanging out altogether." And Jake, despite wanting space, is very very afraid of his friends all deciding he isn't worth the hassle and abandoning him permanently. So he'd immediately recant and drop it (until he cracks)

Now since we don't know what happens between Dirk and Jake in that gap in the narrative, I'm conjecturing. I suppose my point is that assuming that Jake doesn't communicate to Dirk is also conjecture, and not the natural conjecture I would make based on his actions up until this point. He's avoidant of conflict, not avoidant of conversation. I also don't think Dirk being immediately receptive to Jake asking for space is in line with his actions up until this point- I believe his response would be the above, or continuously "fixing it" until Jake drops it.

My point basically is that if you take all that in isolation, it's a sad miscommunication between an insecure boy who takes things to extremes and another insecure boy who doubts himself and can't stand up for himself. No one is the asshole for that. But it's not in isolation. Dirk allowing AR to interfere with his communication with Jake shuts down the channels of communication before they ever date. If I remember correctly, Jake says at one point that he can't remember when the last time he spoke to the "real" Dirk was. I just don't think it's overly fair to blame Jake for the culmination of a communication breakdown that was months, if not years, in the making on Dirk's side. It's less that Dirk is THE asshole and the only one who did anything wrong, and more that generally when people say there was fault on both sides, Jake is the one who receives extensive criticism on his communication skills. Now ultimately: I'd take this with a pinch of salt. They're kids and their first relationship doesn't work out, it's not hugely important to ascribe fault one way or the other- this is all semantics tbh. I only really argue the point for three reasons. 1. I think it makes for a better narrative reading of Jake repeatedly trying to communicate with Dirk and getting a blank wall pre-game and that wall ultimately crumbling around Dirk's persona during the game. It reads better as a cohesive story 2. I think viewing Jake as "the problem" skewered a lot of people's reading of later scenes in the text, especially when HS was actively updating pre-gigapause, and the portrayal of Jake as "the one who can't communicate" leads to a wooden reading of the other alphas by association. and 3. Hal gets the blame for a lot of stuff people don't want to put on Dirk, which also skewers readings of Hal's actions later on. Now if we were talking EPILOGUES...then absolutely Jake's issues with denial, avoidance, and lack of communication (and terminally low self esteem) are going to play a primary, if not inciting role, in their ultimate relationship breakdown. But that's a whole other post and I'm aware I'm rambling at this point. Caveat: If this is an issue concerning your personal life though as your ask sorta suggests, I'd triple take this with a grain of salt because this is a very specific HS situation and HS is ultimately a story with a plot and characters have to act a certain way and do certain things bc it makes the story go zoom. Real people who may resemble Dirk and Jake are not necessarily going to have matching issues, communication problems, and robo-clone answering machines

Hey I hope this isn't an inappropriate ask to send but I'm having a crisis. I've 100% "peaked" and there's absolutely no going back now but I'm still really put off by the demonizing of all transsexuals in radfem spaces, "dysphoria is completely unnatural", anti-transition shit and a lot of the other takes they have. All my friends are definitely not suitable to talk about this stuff with, and I feel very alone and don't know where to unload all this energy. I like your blog and takes a lot, you're a wise person I think- do you have any advice? No pressure to respond.

the thing u have to remember is there are stupid people in any movement. there are radfems who say gross shit abt trans ppl & there are ppl who call themselves radfems who i dont think are feminists at all and are literally just here to be nasty abt trans ppl. those categories exist there’s no denying them but u can just ignore them & say i am not affiliated w those people. bc there are also plenty of redfems/feminists who are understanding & compassionate to trans ppl & happy to work together on common goals. so u just gotta find the ppl u are comfortable with and try to ignore the others i guess. honestly ive always felt like ive got one foot either side of the line on “the trangender issue” nd most radfems have been understanding abt that & been curious rather than offended when i say smthn that sounds totally out of left field to them, & i’ve had a lot of good conversations w radfems both online & irl abt trans issues, trans rights, feminism, gender criticism/abolition, & how they can all tie together. so if u want ppl to talk to abt this then there are definitely women willing to talk, if u just uhh step around the severely anti-trans ladies. might b worth u making a sideblog or smthn? but i advise u do NOT get roped into radblr it is so silly here. but then i guess it is silly everywhere on the internet.

my heart goes out to u btw, esp if u and/or most of ur friend group is trans cause i remember how hard that shit is when ur starting to re-evaluate where u stand politically. i was trans when i made this blog n it was a v isolated time feeling like i couldnt talk 2 any of my irl friends abt any of this fr a long while, feeling like i had no support w my dysphoria bc one half of ppl thought i should just transition & it’d b all fixed and the other half thought if u transition u are betraying feminism & womankind. whatever ur situation, if u wanna chat my dms are always open! (im not always good at replying 2 them. but i do my best 😔)

goofy ass ms paint werewolf eating a mango as a divider between the rant under this bc i do not wish to be precieved rn but i still wanna rant some thoughts out

random lovely guzma urge to delyeet everythin on myne site bc not only did i make it for petz things back when i was active between petz folks and got some encouragement there and ended up never finishing petz things for it, but i also feel horrible and uncommited for it being hosted and made on weebly and for bein too lazy to yeet my shit over to neocities just cause that shit gives me a headache and instead of getting inspired by people i feel jealous and unwelcome

also been working on my sleep schedule its a bit better now and im like. better in general now..? idk how long i can keep this up but getting up early makes me just. so tired like all day urgh i do not understand how i used to keep myself up when this tired. tired tired. brain empty. hard to do shit for long. defo needs more breaks but i swear to god everything feels like its frying my brain but i got nothin to do indoors. guess i can go draw traditionall but i end up putting such high expectations on myself i just yeah. fuck it up. get stressed. not fun. i need to stop thinking about others bc i keep thinking i put effort into smthn i need to show it off.like if i wasted time here i might as well. no this isnt showable it sucks damn it

even stuff i do draw purely for myself as self indulgent shit i go urhh this aint right

oh and then i try doin a lil excercise so im not like. physically diyng but my god that tires me out like instantly. but its okay, baby steps.

dont know what sort of place i am in mentally. the type id prolly spiral a bit over if it werent nice and 2 pm. wacky stuff. i wanna maybe do some stuff but ugh my brain just. isnt big thoughts when im tired. but honestly when am i not tired. and i am getting art done but i cant get myself to draw all day again ill end up in pain again my hand rn already is being a bit of a bitch

uhhh played pokemon in the morning but i need better pokemon already. i fuck up every raid (raids i need so i can get better mons easier) (and my shiny ralts i want easier)

hmm maybe i need a break from stuff but what kinda break what even is relaxing in my case? and "break from people" is a slippery slope of self isolation i always slip into. bit difficult to figure myself out

also, different thing, but ive been considering this for a good few months now and kinda ignoring it but i read one (1) thing and i m intrigued to do more n more research now but man do not like how moral ocd clicks perfectly with a lot of my most common issues . so i guess thats a thing to consider going into (like research) . if it helps .bc dear god i am Sensitive

but uhmmm yea sleeping better now ig like i went to sleep around ONE. my usual sleep time was 5-6 am a while ago !!!!!!! 1 am has always been my kinda usual time. man and i used to do that even when i had school and i *functioned* with less sleep. how did i do that. uhm. not well i guess

but yeah. things.. arent feeling right and i kinda wanna wipe my brain. also the neocities thing seems to be a part of my issue of (ppl who dont care abt me) r gonna thingk i suck bc i dont do (this that i find difficult) (coding) i will be exploded forever and shunned andhated

uhmmm what else yea last thought i forgot as i was gonna type it and the last thing i am deciding not to share anyway bc Shame so hooray

guy who is eeypy tired

i am just realizing how like tired i am but if i go nap ill make it worse so uhmm cope i guess lmfao at least it keeps me going to sleep at a more regular hour but like srsly brain we got around 8 hours of sleep why are you tired we used to get less and function fine. maybe not as good but we functioned

isle kingdom au

so i’ve had this idea for an AU for a little while, but i don’t wanna actually write anything for it until i’m done w/ my current descendants wips, but i also wanna talk about it lol so ig im making a post? please send me asks about it i wanna talk about it.... anyway

**tw for child abuse and semi-graphic descriptions of violence.

basically the premise of the au is that even though he tried to get it passed at first, ben never went through with pulling the vks off the isle. he kept meaning too, but it just kept being pushed to the back of his list of priorities bc he was so busy w/ being king and never happened 

so bc of this, the core 4 stayed on the isle and never got off it. if you’ve read the stuff in my keep them close series u probably have a better idea of my hc of the isle, but the basics of it are that 1) most of the parents are really bad and abusive + the conditions are disgusting 2) none of the kids are really evil and 3) the vks are all kinda frenimes/rivals and will work together to keep eachother alive even if they act like they hate eachother or will even hurt eachother

so, in the ‘canon’ timeline before going to auradon the core 4 are a gang and slowly gaining power. they’re already the top of the vk gangs and are like gaining on some of the adult ones.

bc they never go to auradon, they just kinda keep doing what they already are and gain more and more power. but, as they gain power their parents start becoming afraid of them and acting like more abusive in attempts to keep the core 4 under their control 

ok bare w/ me for this next bit bc it’s gonna sound real ooc for like a sec then make sense

so, as they’re gaining power and their parents are haveing more and more trouble controlling them their parents are becoming more and more violent.

im not sure on the order yet, but basically cruella, jafar, eq, and malifacent all do something like really really bad to their respective kid, so one of the other core 4 kills them bc like. yeah. 

i have some vauge ideas of what each of them could have done and i don’t really know if i want to say them or even use them tbh bc they’re like.... bad, like real bad. which they kinda have to be, you know? bc like.... none of the core 4 would turn to killing if they didn’t have a real good reason, and their parents continuing the abuse that they always have woulden’t be enough, so the parents would have to do something really really bad for one of the others to justify killing them 

its important to mention that none of them kill their own parent. it’s always one of the other 4, im not sure who kills who just yet, but none of them kill their own parent. They’re saved from their parents by each other and they never really have any confrontation with their parents (which will change l8r 👀👀, let me explain)

Even tho they didn’t kill their own parents, everyone kinda assumed they did in order to take their places/gain power. A handful of their friends know the real story, but it’s mostly kept under wraps and it’s like general “knowledge” that they killed their parents for power. They’re not really hiding it or anything, I mean they did still each kill one of the 4 most powerful villains so it’s not like anyone is gonna be less afraid if they knew the truth. ppl just make assumptions and never really question them and they just let ppl think what they do

So bc their parents are dead and they let everyone assume they killed their own parent they very easily climb up the ranks and end up in charge of the isle bc atp they’re seen as the most ruthless/evil/powerful

So now that they’re in charge of the isle they start like..... actually making it a livable place. Ofc at first they try to make a version of Carlos’s machine to break the barrier, but they can’t get it to work so he just modifys it to steal magic from the barrair for them to use. (Another idea stolen from my keep them close series but like I like the idea lol)

And when I say they make it a livable place I mean they start doing stuff like building water purifiers, making like safe houses, establishing some kind of working economy, taking control of the barge drop offs and how everything is distributed, fixing broken electricity, etc etc

A lot of what they do is based off of Carlos’s machines and designs, which like obvi other ppl are helping him gather materials and for and build, since he has power bc he’s like one of the ppl in charge. And he like teaches other ppl how to do what he does and fix anything that goes wrong

Evie kinda puts herself in charge of setting up like medical centers + homes for kids and stuff. Also some kinda way to grow food. B4 they’re in charge nothing can really grow but they use the magic they steal from the barrier to make stuff grow. And evie can use it to make like lots of healing items and such

Jay ends up mostly in charge of like collecting and distribution of their recourses. At first like the barge is kinda a hugeeee problem to deal with bc ppl are fighting over the like moldy food and destroyed clothes and stuff. But eventually they get it organized and have stuff sent to the respective place it should, like clothes and scrap fabric are sent to a place that repairs and sells them, parts and electronics are sent to Carlos or his helpers, etc

Other minor vks like Celia, dizzy, the sea three, Diego, etc are all in this two but this is already really long so just know they’re like helping and like pretty high ranking/highly regarded. Send me an ask with questions please

Mal is kinda regarded as the ultimate leader/queen of the isle ig even though the other 3 have basically the same amount of power. Mostly bc her job ends up being keeping the adults who dislike them inline and keeping their power as heads of the isle

Most ppl are just kinda chill w/ them being in charge, especially a lot of the ppl who were banished for minor crimes. A few of the adult villains try to fight them and end up dead lol, and anyone caught doing especially bad things, like r*pe, hurting someone they shouldn’t have, being a child abuser, etc will end up killed by mal or one of the others. They don’t kill u for like every crime obviously only the like inexcusable ones. Stuff like stealing or mental illness or w/e they basically just help you work through

They’re aren’t any like real laws ig but they deal with issues as they go and give harsh punishments if needed. It serves to keep themselves seen as strong/evil/powerful despite all the good they do and helps keep others too afraid to challenge them. Like frollo isn’t going to challenge them if Ursula tried the same thing and got killed. (The fact that she abused uma and her siblings obviously had nothing to do with that,,,,,,,,,,,)

So yeah! They basically turned the isle into a inhabitable place in the years that they spent as its leaders, and it functions as its own kinda kingdom despite its harsh and confusing laws/rules

But we ain’t done yet, lol

Basically everything I’ve just explained is.... mostly backstory? Kinda? It’s the type of thing where you slowly find out about all this stuff while they actual story goes on, but I figured it’d be less confusing to explain it first :3

So the Actual story starts a few years after when Ben originally was supposed to take the vks off the isle. He, all the other princess/princes he want to school with, the core 4, the sea 3, etc are all in their mid to early 20s.

Auradon has basically no clue what’s the deal w/ the isle. They’re only interaction w/ them is through the like goblins that bring over the trash barges, but those guys are chill and basically don’t tell the aks anything lol.

So Ben is ruling his kingdom, and the core 4 are ruling their own, both sides are doing pretty well and ignoring each other, but then! All of a sudden there’s these sudden deaths/fires/some kinda terrorist attack on the outskirts of the kingdom.

I haven’t thought through this part too much, but basically he knows that they’re is some kinda threat, but he doesn’t know excatly what it is. All he does know is that the villain that is attacking is demanding to speak to the children of malifecent, jafar, cruella devil, and the evil queen.

He basically rounds up the heroes of those respective stories bc they’re all being threatened in some way or another. The mystery villain continues to do more damage and seems basically impossible to beat, and has given them a time limit b4 they’ll go and start destroying more

They discuss their options and decide their best plan is to go to the isle and convince them core 4 to help, bringing along the heroes and some of the main aks w/ them

Obviously it doesn’t go well bc they show up and mal basically has them arrested lmao

Again I have more in-depth ideas for this part but this post is already wayyyy to long so I’m trying to hurry and finish up

The talk, vks meet their respective heroes, everything is from ak/hero POV so as they explore the isle and talk to the core 4 and other vks they slowly find out about all ^^^ that stuff up there

The core 4 are eventually agree, and they go to face the villains only to find out its their parents who have been resurrected!!!! Fuck!!!!

Idk how or why just yet lmao but I will soon

Parents are obvi pissed, core 4 face their own parents and finally get like some kinda closer or smthn idk I feel like y’all get the gist

in the end auradon agknolages the isle as its own kingdom and the core 4 as its leaders and open trade/remove the barrier so the isle can continue to grow bc it’s been struggling due to lack of recourses

And that’s like the basic outline of my au! I wanna write it eventually but tbh I’m expecting eventually to be like 3 years from now bc of how much other stuff I have so for rn I’m just gonna blog about it. Obviously there’s a lot of other stuff/plots/emotional arcs etc I didn’t talk about bc like This Post Is So Long I’m So Sorry, So please please please send me asks/questions/comments/even your own ideas!!! Please. Everything about this will be tagged with “isle kingdom au” :3

lesbian tag game

thx for sending me this @redcladsheikah <3 all my lesbian friends should do this too, if you want uwu i’m too lazy to tag like 50 ppl hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh @lebians @tiedyked @talaxian @lesbian-mcelroy @ireallylikecameras 

1: did you ever think you were straight?

not really, i knew i liked girls even as a child. but i did go through multiple periods of trying to convince myself i was straight, needless to say it didn’t work out lol.

2: what’s your favorite element of gay culture?

our sense of humor! it’s amazing that we’re all so funny despite putting up with so much bullshit.

3: are you femme, butch, or neither?

femme! i’ve been looking into femme history lately, bcs the idea that femme is just an aesthetic is a misconception c:

4: do you prefer to date femmes or butches?

tbh every time i declare i have a type i immediately fall for someone that’s the complete opposite of that, so i have no idea. lately i’ve been wanting a goth gf, but i just developed a crush on a prep soooo i’m terrible at self-reflection. this bitch don’t know what she want.

5: what’s the worst part about being a lesbian?

the feeling that there’s a part of you that needs to be fixed, but you can’t do anything about it. it’s like seeing a picture on the wall that’s crooked, but it’s stuck like that and you can’t ever straighten it. or having a hair out of place that keeps sticking up no matter how much you try to gel it down.

6: what’s the best part of being a lesbian?

is women too obvious of an answer? girls are angels and i’d die for all of them

7: how long were you questioning for?

pretty much never, i guess. i had crushes on girls since kindergarten, then in 2nd grade i was told girls could only like boys, so i tried my best to be straight even though in my heart i knew i wasn’t. since i couldn’t make myself like boys, i kinda just ignored the idea of liking anyone at all until middle school, when i found out what the word “lesbian” means online. of course, all the stuff i found about lesbians called us disgusting perverts, so i went through many phases of calling myself literally anything else but a lesbian. i’ve only started using the word lesbian specifically in the last few years, especially since i joined an amazing discord group. i love them so much, they’ve helped me feel so proud of being a lesbian <3

8: what’s the most annoying thing straight people do?

exist. 

jk lmao, i’m honestly not annoyed by straight people, but i like making jokes as if i am. it’s hard to annoy me in general, i’ve got a high tolerance for that type of stuff. if i have to answer, i hate it when strangers (usually straight men) pry into my sex life, but i’m not really annoyed by that as much as i am creeped out.

9: what do you look for in a girl?

vampirism is my only requirement.

10: if you had to marry someone you know right now, who would you choose?

@lebians bcs i feel they’d be the most able to put up with my bullshit. everyone else would kill me on sight. if only @ireallylikecameras was still single, then when we got married we could put together our 50% employee discounts at BK and get infinite food for free, ending world hunger. i think that’s how it works, but also im gay and therefore bad at math.

11: do you have a crush right now?

does being in love count as a crush? if so, then i have three.

12: do you fall in love easily?

i crush easily, and i say i’m in love easily bcs i’m a leo (meaning i need to exaggerate to live), but actually feeling love? only once.

13: is there anyone in your life right now you think you’ll date in the future?

fingers crossed.

14: is there anyone you want to be kissing right now?

at the moment i’m feeling very touch repulsed, so no. but i also go through periods of feeling touch starved, and during those times i’d kiss pretty much anyone lmao.

15: do you think you’ve met your future wife yet?

i don’t know if i want to be married. i hate making commitments.

16: top, bottom, or vers?

i suspect i’m a bottom, but i’m also a virgin with no self awareness about what she wants or likes, so who really knows.

17: is there anyone you wish you could fuck right now?

still feeling touch repulsed, so no. also i have issues with actual real life sex. i always think i want to have sex, but when the situation becomes real, i feel disgusted by it and chicken out. i have no idea if this is some sort of asexuality or internalized lesbophobia. i should probably go to therapy lol.

18: rough or gentle?

rough, in theory. like i said, virgin who doesn’t know what she likes. but as a general rule, i don’t like slowness.

19: how many stereotypes do you fit into?

i’m fat, hairy, make lots of jokes about hating men (at least online, not in real life bcs i dont wanna get stabbed), i sometimes look like a guy,

20: what version of the lesbian flag do you like most? (butch, lipstick, original, etc.)

i like the femme one! i have it as my banner, it’s the lipstick lesbian flag without the lip print. the original flag was so fucking good, too bad it got taken by the terfs. the labrys is such a powerful image, and purple is a good color. also i saw a moon lesbian flag going around, that one is so good.

21: do you have a good gaydar?

hhhh i’d like to pretend i do but tbh i’m not very observant and straight up bad at reading people.

22: be honest, would you rather be straight?

yes and no. i’d rather have been born straight, because it would’ve saved me so much pain, but it’s a few years too late for that lol. if there was a magic pill that could make me straight today, i wouldn’t take it. i’ve been through so much as a lesbian, it means something to me now and i wouldn’t trade that for anything.

23: are you cis?

yep.

24: are you a sugar mommy or a sugar baby at heart?

hardcore sugar baby. my dream job is being an older woman’s trophy wife.

25: are you committed to someone at all right now emotionally?

hhhhhhhhhh unfortunately. i don’t want to be.

26: are you looking for a serious relationship currently?

yes, but i shouldn’t be. i don’t think i’m ready to be in one.

27: is there someone you’d like to be in a serious relationship in?

yes, but she’s straight and already married lmao. whoops.

28: do you want children?

no, i’m too selfish and irresponsible.

29: is your family accepting of your sexuality?

my mom and dad are, though they don’t take it very seriously. pretty sure they expect me to grow out of it one day. can’t blame them tho, i’m waiting for the same thing lmao. my extended family is huge, and their opinions range from being extremely homophobic to being gay themselves, but i’m interacting with them less and less as i get older.

30: how confident are you in your sexuality?

very confident, though i don’t want to be. i’m still secretly hoping one day i’ll see a guy i’m attracted to and he’ll fix me, but being realistic, i’m a huge fucking lesbian. women are enchanting.

31: are you polyamorous or monogamous?

monogamous. my insecure ass could not be poly hhhhhh.

32: what advice do you have for your 12 year old self?

be more selfish. you don’t have to put yourself second for the sake of others, especially at your age. nothing you do will matter in a decade, go fucking wild.

33: have you ever been to a gay bar?

nope. i want to go one day, but i have terrible social anxiety.

34: leather jackets or flannel?

both of those are really hot, but i’m gonna go with leather jacket.

35: describe your dream girlfriend

- vampire

- big tiddy goth gf

- nice personality or smthn

- uhhhhhhhhh tiddy

(ok but srsly, i can’t answer this question bcs i NEVER know what i want!! i always thought my type was THICC for sure, but all three of the ladies i have feelings for rn are pretty skinny and flat chested)

36: do you have any lesbian friends?

at least 50 lol.

37: what elements of gay culture do you actively participate in?

air, water, sometimes earth. never fire.

38: do you find straight people irritating?

nope, but i do find straight pda uncomfortable to look at. mostly bcs it reminds me of what i'm supposed to want. but i’d never tell a straight person that, obviously. i’m not rude.

39: would you rather adopt a kid or have a biological kid?

i’ll adopt a tortoise, and feed her any children that cross my path. but if i did ever have a child, i’d want it to be biologically mine and my wife’s. mostly bcs i’d want to know what it would look like, which is a selfish and stupid reason to have kids, and exactly why i’m not gonna lmao.

40: do you love yourself?

i’m a LEO (jokes aside, i don’t know. sometimes i do, sometimes i don’t. but i love myself more as time goes on. definitely more than i did than when i was a teen, at least.)

all the queastions btw i love you

I WUV U!!!!!!!!

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?uhhhhhhh my irl friend i think2. Are you outgoing or shy?UH!!?????!!!?!?!?!?! both3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?my wonderful boyfriend sorey!!!!!4. Are you easy to get along with?uhh my friendz said ya soo5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?i wouldnt b drunk but ????? idk???6. What kind of people are you attracted to?sorey7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?ya!8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?no one9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?uhhuhhuhuh idk10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?uh sorey probably11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?“im gonna take a quick nap wake me when the dryers done”12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?not in any order butlo-fi children by wild partypay no mind by madeonno culture by mother motherback to front by early hourseverybody come outside by the pomegranates

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?ya!14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?uhh sometimes??????15. What good thing happened this summer?i got a wonderful beautiful boyfriend who i love very much!!!16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?theres no one to kiss!17. Do you think there is life on other planets?ofc!!!!!!!!!!!!!18. Do you still talk to your first crush?sdfds no i only crushed on him cause other ppl in my class were getting crushes and i wanted to be a Cool Kid19. Do you like bubble baths?ya!20. Do you like your neighbors?uhh never met them but i like their dogs21. What are you bad habits?i pull on my hair and pick at my nails a lot22. Where would you like to travel?netherlands23. Do you have trust issues?ooo ya24. Favorite part of your daily routine?this sounds gay but msgsing sorey25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?uhhh m chest26. What do you do when you wake up?msg my palz n pm sorey27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?idk its fine as it is i think28. Who are you most comfortable around?sorey29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?i think bt it ws complicated30. Do you ever want to get married?well me n sorey r p much already there31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?nope!32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?hhh idk i dnt kno much abt any celebs33. Spell your name with your chin.l,ersttg34. Do you play sports? What sports?i h8 sports!!!!!35. Would you rather live without TV or music?tv36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?ya37. What do you say during awkward silences?\nothing i leave it38. Describe your dream girl/guy?sorey!39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?thrift shop also like any decor store i luv homesense40. What do you want to do after high school?uhh well im there now and im jst working on portfolio41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?nope42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?i jst dont have uch to say bt i also might b depressed u never kno im a suprise!43. Do you smile at strangers?i try to bt only if we accidentally make eye contact44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?SPACE the deep sea is scary45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?sorey46. What are you paranoid about?everything!47. Have you ever been high?no!48. Have you ever been drunk?no!49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?uhhh i dont think so???50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?grey n black i think51. Ever wished you were someone else?uhhh i dnt understand th question 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?2 many things to name one53. Favourite makeup brand?uhsduhfui idk54. Favourite store?homesense55. Favourite blog?ilovemikleo1 hes a cool guy56. Favourite colour?pink! but i also rlly like blue and purple!n red an aaa i cnt pick57. Favourite food? sweets58. Last thing you ate?all dressed chips59. First thing you ate this morning?cherry gummies60. Ever won a competition? For what?i once one a ssb competition @ a friends bday party and normally i suck at smash but the prize was two (2) cosmic brownies and i Wanted them61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?nope!62. Been arrested? For what?i hav not63. Ever been in love? eheh yes64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?didnt happen!65. Are you hungry right now?not rlly66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhyahhhhhhhhhh67. Facebook or Twitter?i dnt use either bt twitter68. Twitter or Tumblr?twitter tumblr is the devil69. Are you watching tv right now?nope!70. Names of your bestfriends? sorey bt also uhhhhhhhhhhhhhall my friends!!!!!71. Craving something? What?i jst want more chips72. What colour are your towels?they vary cause i have many bt rn yellow72. How many pillows do you sleep with?1.573. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?ya!74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?100000075. Favourite animal?crows n also ravens dont ask me 2 choose76. What colour is your underwear?skipping ths77. Chocolate or Vanilla?vanilla78. Favourite ice cream flavour?strawberry!79. What colour shirt are you wearing?mahogany80. What colour pants?black81. Favourite tv show?uh!!?!?!?!?!?!?!82. Favourite movie?the secret of kells83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?never seen mean girls 284. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?never seen 21 jump street85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?dont have one86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?dont have one87. First person you talked to today?sorey!88. Last person you talked to today?m in a call bt sorey ws th last person to say smthn89. Name a person you hate?uhhhh i do h8 someone but i cnt say who they r90. Name a person you love?SOREY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE MY BF SO MUCH!!!! and m friends91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?see #8992. In a fight with someone?not atm93. How many sweatpants do you have?like 294. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?2 many95. Last movie you watched?i dont rememberr96. Favourite actress?dont have one97. Favourite actor?dont have one98. Do you tan a lot?no i just burn99. Have any pets?i have a dog!100. How are you feeling?uh?101. Do you type fast?kinda102. Do you regret anything from your past?living103. Can you spell well?no but i thought this said \can you cast a spell well’ and i got excited104. Do you miss anyone from your past?ya .105. Ever been to a bonfire party?nope!106. Ever broken someone’s heart?mayb107. Have you ever been on a horse?ya108. What should you be doing?art109. Is something irritating you right now?not rlly110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?ya111. Do you have trust issues?ya112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?sheep!113. What was your childhood nickname?didnt have one114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?ya!115. Do you play the Wii?yup!116. Are you listening to music right now?nope!117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?ya!!!118. Do you like Chinese food?depends what it is119. Favourite book?haunting violet by alyxandra harvey120. Are you afraid of the dark?sometimes121. Are you mean?i think i am bt ppl say no so uh122. Is cheating ever okay???!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?idk123. Can you keep white shoes clean?sometimes124. Do you believe in love at first sight?mayb125. Do you believe in true love?ya!126. Are you currently bored?a lil bt not rlly127. What makes you happy?sorey!!!! and my friends!!!!!! and vampires……128. Would you change your name?im tryin 2 do it129. What your zodiac sign?cencer130. Do you like subway?its ok131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?ths wouldnt happen bt if it did id ignore it132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?sorey133. Favourite lyrics right now?“im like a bull in a chinda shop knocking off an knock off” frm no culture by mother mother134. Can you count to one million?no i dnt have the patience for that135. Dumbest lie you ever told?uhh idk136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?closedd137. How tall are you?5′5″138. Curly or Straight hair?curly139. Brunette or Blonde?i hav brownish hair bt i like both140. Summer or Winter?summer141. Night or Day?night142. Favourite month?julyy143. Are you a vegetarian?nope!144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?all!145. Tea or Coffee?coffe146. Was today a good day?idk it ws jst ok147. Mars or Snickers?mars148. What’s your favourite quote?uhfdsfuishfui idk149. Do you believe in ghosts?ofc!150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “he was dressed impeccably and properly, no matter the hour”

hi im v sorry abt this n pls feel free 2 ignore this if u want ! i wont blame u !!! ive been going thru some stuff for awhile n i might hav bpd? if u dont mind, would u b able 2 share a little abt how u were able 2 determine tht u had it n what it meant for u? bc im always afraid of self diagnosis (since i dont want 2 b th brat who says they hav this n that when in reality they're just a dumb teenager or smthn,,) but i dont hav any other options n u seem so nice n i thought u might b able 2 help

ahh well first off, thank u so much for thinking i’m nice n all tht ahh ur so sweet ily..... but !! i’m not rly sure if i’m th person to ask?? i’m also self-dx (w/ both bpd and hpd), but there is absolutely no doubt in my mind tht i have it... it took a long time for me to come to terms w/ it and i didn’t even think about my mental health until about junior year of highschool?? i spent weeks on my summer break locked in my room reading the “DSM-IV and DSM-5 Criteria for the Personality Disorders” and reading literally every webpage that looked legitimate ... which tbh doesn’t sound like a legit way to tell you have a personality disorder LMAO but i really didn’t have any other choice? i come from a really poor family tht lives paycheck to paycheck basically so we never have money for big expenditures (like... taking me to a psychiatrist for example kdmkfmb...) and i knew if i told my dad he’d probably think i was just, like you said, a dumb teenager dkvmfk... but after thinking abt it for a full year and realizing tht bpd actually runs in my family (my father and grandfather both have it) + i went through a lot of ab*se n abandonment issues in my life (which is also a factor in th development of bpd) i don’t really think there’s any way that i’m being a hypochondriac, even though sometimes i still feel like im faking it lmao... and i guess having bpd just means that... i can’t control my emotions as well as neurotypicals can and i know tht i’m gonna have a harder time going through things in my life i guess?? which was really hard to accept at first like.. i cried n felt so empty lmao... but i mean... i’ve gotten this far i guess? that makes me feel @ least a lil better LOL ... other than that i mean.... there’s not much else to say! i rly hoped tht helped explain stuff??i doubt it AHHH but still, i wish u luck :”0 !!