#it's like i'm really seeing shane for a first/second time
Text
This is my second time realizing that Shane is like an actual, real person with a face. I don't know why that's so shocking to me, but it's weird that he's just a person and not a cartoon or human-like puppet that only comes alive for watcher. And he has a face! Like, I know he has a face, but I just can't believe he has a face, you know?
#watcher#shane madej#food files#ghost files#puppet history#idk why this is so eye opening#it's like i'm really seeing shane for a first/second time#is shane real?#my sources say no
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
A Mess || Part 9
New account! @ghostbones was banned! Transferring everything here starting with this series since it was the most popular!
A/N: Won't lie, I wanted to make you all suffer and wait but I'm too nice :((
Summary: this is just embarrassingly descriptive smut and I'm not sorry about it
18+ MDNI || WARNINGS: fem receiving oral, male receiving oral, unprotected p-in-v, profanity
You didn't expect it to go as far as it did. But god, were you loving it. His hot breath on your neck as he nibbled and slid your shirt over your head, the clumsy movements as you tried to kick your pants off, the way he unbuttoned his shirt but wouldn't take it off.
He admired your body as he scanned you over, in just your old bra and underwear. He made a mental note to try and find you those lacey panties with a pink bow, 'cause even though you looked good in granny panties, you'd look even better in something dainty and sweet. Shane really was an idiot to give you up. Especially looking back and knowing that he gave you up for a woman he could never have kept.
While he was definitely nervous, and really only used to having drunken one-nighters with girls from bars or drug houses, there was one thing he knew he was good at. He may have never gone back for seconds, but he had one skill that always left women begging him for more.
He got down on his knees in front of where you sat on the couch. You watched him nervously. You weren't naive enough to not anticipate what was next, so all you could think about was the last time you got to use a razor. It had been a while. It was the apocalypse, after all. What you didn't know was that this man couldn't give less of a fuck. In fact, he almost preferred it. He never minded whether a woman chose to shave or not, because at the end of the day it was their body and he'd respect that, but something about the natural look of hair on a woman's body turned him on a bit. It reminded him that he was indeed taking a real woman to bed, not some unattainable supermodel from a Playboy magazine with unnaturally blonde hair and golden spray-tanned skin.
He hooked his fingers on the hem of your underwear, looking up at you for your permission. You gave the slightest nod, and he pulled them down over your knees and off your feet. He tossed them somewhere unknown. You wouldn't be needing them.
Everything about you was real and raw, just how he liked it. He could see you were already wet for him, which gave him the confidence he needed to do what he did next.
He gripped your thighs and yanked you down so that your ass just barely hung off the couch. It was the perfect position for him to lean in and get to work.
Admittedly, he had never done this sober, but if he could do it to a few strangers and have them beg for more, he could certainly do it for this beautiful girl he'd come to admire.
He used his thumbs to spread your lips, giving a quick look to where your clit would be. Then, he spread your thighs open wide and leaned down, tracing his tongue right over you entirely. Your hips jolted a little at the sudden sensation of his soft, smooth tongue gliding flatly over you. He licked softly and slowly a few times with a flat tongue, before he concentrated the very tip of it and traced over every inch of you, except your clit. He knew not to go right for the most sensitive spot, he had to work you up a little first.
After a few minutes of just slowly tasting you, listening to the slight little gasps and breaths that escaped you as your body slowly relaxed and eased into him, he trailed up to your clit, drawing soft little circles around it. You let out a soft moan, breathy little huffs of air following after. Your hips naturally began to swivel slightly as you worked in sync with his tongue.
He could tell you were getting a little more worked up as your moans grew louder and your legs started to twitch.He focused completely on your clit, licking and sucking in a perfect rhythm. You gasped when his middle finger slid inside you, slowly curling and sliding in and out as he searched for at one spot that would make you melt. It didn't take long. Even if he couldn't feel it for himself, he would have known when he found it based on your sounds. You clenched your fist in his hair, the other hand gripping the couch cushion.
He massaged you on the inside without ever losing his pace with his tongue. By this point you weren't even moaning anymore, you were blatantly whining. It was almost torture -- it felt so good. The pressure was just enough to keep you on edge, to build up that feeling in your stomach that spread all over, but not quite enough to get you there, not yet. He slipped another finger inside. Your lower half started buzzing, legs trembling as your hips jerked and twitched. You were getting so close.
He was throbbing inside his jeans, a painful pressure suffocating down on his dick. He was ready for his turn, so he stopped toying with you and held you still as he intensified his movements around your clit, sucking on it just a tad bit harder as he circled it. He felt you clenching around his fingers, pulsating even. Then, there it was. Like a cup placed under a slow stream of water, he slowly filled you up, and it was time to overflow. Your hips buckled and a shudder ran over you. You sucked in a sharp breath and let out a mix between a cry and a moan.
He kept steady as he worked you through your orgasm, feeling triumphant as you soaked the cushion below you. When the wave passed over and the overstimulation set in, you gently pushed on the top of his head, wordlessly begging for mercy.
He relented and pulled back, smirking devilishly as he stood up. Your eyes grew a little wide at the bulge in his jeans. He unbuckled his belt and unzipped his jeans, pulling his throbbing cock out for you to see. It was menacingly thick, a few veins decorating it on the outside. It was red and already glistening at the tip.
You sat forward as he stroked it, replacing his hand with yours as you leaned in and licked at the tip, tasting the salty bead of precum before wrapping your lips around him and sliding your mouth over him, all the way down to the base. He let out the smallest little grunt.
You pulled back slowly and bobbed back down, quickly finding a steady pace as you sucked and licked his dick. He tried not to, but he couldn't help it. Soft little moans unwillingly escaped him, getting choked up and cut short each time you pulled back and went back down. Oh, yeah, Shane was definitely a fool, but that was fine. It just meant Daryl got to keep you all for himself now.
"Hang on.." He whispered as he cupped the back of your head and pulled you back. He couldn't have you finishing him just yet, he still had to know what you felt like on the inside. When you looked up at him he could have melted into a puddle on the floor. Your hair all messy, eyes watery with a single tear stain down your cheek. Your lips were glossy with your own spit which made them look even more plump as they were already a little swollen from the suction.
He pulled you off your knees and set you back down on the couch, pulling you forward for the perfect angle so he could slide effortlessly inside you. Your lips parted a little as his tip pressed against you. Your eyes were glued to the scene between your legs, but his were trained on your face. He didn't wanna miss your expression when he pushed inside.
Slowly he applied moe pressure, his tip sliding in. You sucked in a tiny breath, eyebrows lifted. He smirked. You were so reactive and he couldn't get enough of it. He pushed in more, stopping about half way. You gasped at the sensation. He was thick and it was painfully pleasurable to be stretched out that way.
"Ya ready?" He whispered. You nodded eagerly. With a final shove, he sank all the way inside you. You moaned loudly. He groaned as your muscles clenched around him.
He pumped slowly at first, just enjoying the way it felt to slide out and back in, but as your noises crept into his ears, an animalistic drive took over him. He placed a hand around your throat, squeezing just hard enough to hold you still that way before his thrusts grew harder and faster. Soon, he was tearing you apart. Each time he impacted you he knocked a whien out of you. He was in complete control now, all you could do was stare up at him with glossy eyes and heavy eyelids. His eyes traced over every detail of your face, making note of every twitch of the lip, taking a mental snapshot of the way your eyebrows pushed together and your lips hung open.
Every noise you made pulled him closer to the edge of a cliff. He sped up. He was fucking you harder than you ever had been before. Your arms bent at the elbows. Your fingered were curling and opening as if grasping for something invisible. Probably a shred of sanity, since you couldn't even forma coherent thought while being ravaged that way.
His pace quickened one last time before he let out one final guttural growl in your ear. He came to a slow stop, and for a while, he just stayed there, hunched over you, both of you panting for breath. You were wiped out. Your eyelids were still half shut, mouth still agape, fingers still twitching. When he stood up straight, he couldn't help but chuckle. You didn't move. You were paralyzed.
"Ya gon' make it?" He teased.
"No." You breathed. He smiled a little as he looked around for his boxers before realizing he had nothing to clean you up with. He sighed and just used his underwear, wiping you dry and doing the same to himself.
You finally sat up straight and yawned.
"Tired." You pouted.
"C'mon." He offered you a hand and pulled you up to your feet. "Let's go pick a bed."
----
The sunlight was peaking through the blinds. You chose the bed in the one room he didn't have a blanket to cover the window with, but he didn't mind. Especially not now when little yellow rays rained perfectly over your face.
His hand was tangled up in your hair, gently scratching at your scalp, while his other one rested on his torso tracing a single finger gently over your features, smiling a little every time your skin would twitch from the ticklish sensation. That right there, whatever it was, he was sure was true happiness. The faint chirping of birds outside, little dust particles drifting in the rays of light coming in through the blinds, you sleeping peacefully on his chest.
He hated that it would end soon, and by that night you'd be back at the prison, carrying on with chores and mundane tasks to keep everyone going. At least he'd have moments like this to look back on -- and the mental image of your mouth around his dick -- but mostly this. It was perfection.
You shifted a little.
"You up?" He whispered.
"Hmph."
"We gotta go soon."
"Uh-uh."
He smiled.
"Yeah, we do. We were supposed to leave before sunrise."
"No."
He sighed.
"Ya really wanna do this again?" He asked.
"Sleep." You mumbled.
He wondered what it must have been like to get you up for school when you were a kid. He felt bad for your parents.
"If ya get up now we can stop at McDonalds for breakfast." He joked. You looked up at him and glared.
"Don't do that. It's cruel. I'd kill for a McGriddle." You warned.
"And one of them Caramel Fraps." He agreed. You groaned.
"You're a fucking tease, Daryl Dixon."
Masterlist || Taglist
There will be at least one more part to this series!!!
Tags: @kissmeunicornbaobei @thesadcatt0 @clairealeehelsing @duckybird101 @tmntfixationxreader
#daryl dixon fanfiction#daryl dixon#twd daryl#daryl x reader#the walking dead daryl#daryl fanfiction#daryl twd#daryl x female reader#daryl dixon smut#daryl x y/n#daryl x you#daryl dixon fanfic#daryl dixon x reader#daryl dixon x you#daryl dixon twd#twd daryl dixon#twd#18+ only#18+ content#18+ mdni#mdni#minors do not interact#minors dni#smut
412 notes
·
View notes
Text
So Watcher is launching a Dropout (it's not called Dropout but they're clearly using the same template format platform thing idk what it's called, and the same pricing structure), and the reaction so far has been wildly different than what I remember from Dropout's launch. I was curious about why that was or if I was just misremembering the Dropout launch, so I went back to the Dropout launch video to compare them and I think I can see where some of the difference is coming from.
If you want to make the comparison yourself: Watcher's Video, Dropout's Video.
I wanna clarify first though that this isn't a knock against Watcher or the fans who are reacting one way or another or anything like that, I genuinely am just fascinated with how different the reactions are to what seems to be the same business decision. This also isn't a 'wow watcher sucks and dropout is so much better' I'm just using them for comparison because they did the same thing with different results. ALSO this isn't about the business decision itself, just the presentation! Disclaimers out of the way, here's the analysis.
Title and Thumbnail
So the Watcher.tv announcement video is titled "Goodbye Youtube" and the thumbnail is Ryan, Shane, and Steven sitting on a couch looking serious, with a dark background. That really makes it seem like they're quitting (which, ok, they are quitting youtube but not quitting quitting). Viewers are already primed to be upset, and it's easier to go from upset to angry than upset to excited, curious, or neutral.
Compare to the dropout announcement video: "How the Internet is Ruining Comedy" - inline with other collegehumor video titles, might make you curious. Thumbnail - Big News! with Sam smiling and a bright background. We know its big news, but he looks happy, and the exclamation point let's us know they want us to be excited. Viewers are primed to be curious and excited.
Tone
The Watcher announcement has 2 main tones. The first half is very sentimental, almost sad or wistful at times, and while there are parts that veer into pride at achievements, it's mostly bittersweet and sentimental. The second half is a bit more uplifting, but still quite serious. It reminded me of a tech announcement, like when they introduce the new iphone or something like that. Very professional, sleek, and serious, which isn't automatically a bad thing! But I do think that's not the vibe a decently-sized chunk of the audience expected or wanted. Many people watch Watcher for the cast's dynamic with each other, humor, and the more relaxed/conversational/friendly feel that most of the series have.
Compare to dropout - excited and comedic tone. Still professional, but also fits the expectations of the viewers. People watch collegehumor for the humor (it was in the name, after all). They also poke a bit of fun at themselves, which lightens the mood, shows self-awareness, and alleviates some of the bad feelings about paywalling.
Focus
The Watcher announcement focuses a lot on the creative journey of the cast and company, as well as how this move will benefit them. Which isn't a bad thing, that's actually quite interesting! The problem here, I think, is actually more about what isn't here - a solid explanation of how this will also benefit the viewers and why the viewers should be excited.
There's a brief description of one new show, and the promise that existing shows will get an upgrade, but we weren't given many specific details about how they'll be improved, and there's only one new show to tempt us into subscribing. Some people will be excited for that, some people won't, and some people will be excited but not enough to subscribe. Having 2 or 3 series (even if it's 1 fleshed out plus a few teasers of what's in production or what is being planned) plus some more details about how existing shows will be improved would've helped. Without that, it really does seem like it'll just be the same stuff viewers were getting for free, but now paywalled, rather than new and exciting stuff. That makes a big difference.
I think with the fans not getting as much focus, this also led to some (accidental, I hope) hurt feelings. Based on what I've seen from fan reactions, all the talk about hitting the peak of what they can do on youtube and wanting more, translated for many people to 'youtube isn't enough' which became 'you (the current viewers) aren't enough.' Which I don't think was their intent! But I also don't think fans are wrong for feeling hurt by that.
Compare to dropout: They clearly explain how the move will benefit fans, and reassure viewers that existing content will stay where it is, and only new content will be behind the paywall. (Watcher clarified this too, but in a comment. It's not in the video itself, which is a huge problem.) They include clips of several new (at the time) series that would be premiering on dropout, including things that specifically could not be made on youtube (due to weed, violence, and sexual humor), so the reason for the shift is clear to the audience.
Advertisers
Both videos contain the sentiment that being monetarily successful on youtube means working to appease the advertisers, and that over time what the advertisers want and what the creators want drifts further and further apart, putting strain on the creators.
However, I think the message gets lost a bit in the Watcher vid. Instead, it leaves viewers with the idea that the main problem is just ads are annoying instead of advertisers putting constraints on content. I'm not even sure what the specific constraints are for watcher, because they didn't give any examples. And the focus on ads being annoying leaves viewers frustrated because people typically either don't mind ads or they already have an ad blocker.
Timing and Size
Okay, this isn't exactly about presentation, but it is still a factor that impacts perception so I'm tackling it. And I'm actually going to do dropout first.
CollegeHumor launched dropout in September 2018. Pre-pandemic, but also pre-Sam Reich as CEO. The company was still owned by IAC. It was a Company, and while it wasn't huge it wasn't tiny either. So launching dropout was a Company Decision, a Business Strategy. Some people were upset about, but it wasn't a personal betrayal (generally, anyways). If I remember correctly, this was also not a high point for the company. They kinda needed dropout to do well to keep things running smoothly (which is why they shut it down and sold it to Sam just 1 1/2ish years later), so the sudden shift made sense.
Watcher Entertainment is a company, but it doesn't feel like one. Ryan, Shane, and Steven own and operate things, but they're also the faces, and they're youtubers. Which makes every business decision they make feel more personal to viewers, especially those who have been watching for a long time. They've also seemingly been doing well on youtube, which makes it more difficult for viewers to understand why the sudden change is happening now. They do talk a bit about it, about the company expanding and wanting to do things that advertisers don't like (which I've already covered). However, mostly the choice to start a streaming platform is framed as 'the next big step' without much clarification on why it's the next big step.
Plus, it's post-pandemic, and a lot of people are still struggling financially with the ripple effects of that. Yes, $6 isn't a wild amount of money, but there have been some months where $5 absolutely meant the difference between paying all my bills or not, and I know I'm not the only one. This, coupled with a lack of clarity about why exactly they're doing this, leads to fans feeling hurt, betrayed, bitter, and frustrated.
Now, presentation and framing isn't everything. No matter how perfect your announcement is, some people are still going to be upset. It's a big change, of course people will be upset! But I do think a more careful presentation would've alleviated some of the hurt and anger that fans are feeling. While I do think a lot of the reaction we're seeing is due to the decision, I think (based on what I've seen) that some of it is also based on the poor communication in the video itself, and that could've been avoided!
So I'm gonna get a little speculative and describe what I would've done. In this hypothetical, they've decided to launch the streaming service and brought me on just for the announcement.
Firstly, switch the title out. If they're married to Goodbye Youtube then add a (and hello...?) after so it's at least obvious they aren't fully quitting. The dark color scheme of the thumbnail fits their regular vibe, but they want everyone to be excited so they should look excited.
Next, let's lighten the tone up. Being proud of what they've done so far is great, but we don't need the sentimental music and bittersweetness. Remember, the goal is to get viewers excited about what come's next - so let's focus on what actually comes next! Talk about specific show plans and mention why they wouldn't work on youtube.
Then, take some time to reassure the fans. Predict a few likely worries and address them in the video. Acknowledge that it's a big change, that it will take time to get used to, and that not everyone will be onboard, and let the fans know that it's ok if they aren't onboard.
Like I said, this wouldn't fix everything. There are a few differences in between dropout and watcher that don't have anything to do with presentation. Dropout launched with primarily new shows rather than new seasons of existing shows, and they continued uploading to youtube relatively regularly in addition to the content behind the paywall, which I do think went a long way to keeping fans happy. At this point it's unclear if watcher will do either of those or not. But, while I don't think it would fix everything, I do think improved communication in the announcement would've helped.
#watcher#feel free to share your own thoughts but please be nice#I just like communication ok! And I really enjoyed the 1 marketing class I took in college#and it's pretty rare that you get such a clear comparison between 2 unrelated companies!
329 notes
·
View notes
Text
WatcherTV Debrief
I said I was going to write down all of my thoughts yesterday, but I was simply too tired after work. So I'm going to do so now, in a post that is likely going to be very long, but hopefully will still be worth the read for some of you anyway.
TL;DR: I believe this is a very poor decision on Watcher Entertainment's part and it is at the very least going to cost them a huge swath of their fanbase, if not their entire company in the long run. And at this point in time, I myself will not be subscribing.
With that said though, I don't want this post to merely be a rant about how much I dislike the decision, so I'm going to start off by looking at things from their perspective and explaining why, although some people in the fanbase might feel betrayed, none of the three (yes, three, because Steven, Ryan, and Shane were all equal parts of this decision) personally betrayed anyone in the fandom. If you're still angry, I understand that seeing what might seem like a "defense" might be upsetting, but again, I hope you'll find some value in it regardless.
All of that said, that plus my extensive criticism of this decision is going to be long, so let's go beneath a cut.
First, let us state the obvious: Watcher Entertainment is a media company -- a business -- and Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara, and Steven Lim are not your friends. They are business owners first, and media producers + actors second.
I italicized actors to draw attention to it, because this is something that I think gets . . . not forgotten, per se, but pushed aside in people's minds when they consume video content online, particularly when that video content is on YouTube, which originally began as a point and shoot video upload website that was meant to give anyone and everyone the ability to upload their vlogs or silly little videos. The term "parasocial relationships" is one that has proliferated across the internet, but I think the issue here -- with Shane and Ryan in particular -- is not only that people are thinking of them as "friends," but also that they are thinking, "These are their authentic selves, this is who they really are, I know them." And the fact of the matter is, that isn't true. Shane and Ryan are actors. What we see in their videos isn't their authentic selves. We don't know them.
Now, that isn't to say that it's all a lie. It isn't quite the same as, say, Ryan Gosling or Leo DiCaprio playing a role in a film. But every internet celebrity (and that is what they are at this point) presents themselves in a particular way to their audience. Even in the Pod Watcher podcast, where ostensibly they're having Just Friendly Conversations About Whatever's On Their Minds, they're mindful of the fact that their audience is listening, their audience is judging, their audience is making gifs and fanart of moments they like. They're acting. They're playing up personas to keep fans engaged, to keep fans coming back for more.
So Shane and Ryan (and Steven, when he can be) are actors. You don't know their true authentic selves, and you never have. Anything they say has to be taken with a grain of salt, because they are saying what they want you to hear. Even their live shows are rehearsed. And what this means -- that they only show you what they want to show you -- is that they did not betray you, because they couldn't betray you. They don't know you, just like you don't know them. Betrayal is not possible here.
To that end, Watcher Entertainment is a media company -- in other words, a business. And businesses must generate not only revenue, but profit in order to stay afloat. Now, I don't know what Watcher's financial books look like right now. I have seen people throwing around a lot of numbers about what they have to make from Patreon, from ticket and merchandise sales, et cetera, but without looking at the expense reports, the bank statements, and the budget sheets, it's difficult for any of us to say just what state Watcher is in financially. We can guess, but that's the best we can do.
That said though, we don't have to guess to know the very basic principle of running a business. A business has to, at the bare minimum, break even. Ideally, the business would profit, so that they can not only do things like pay their employees fairly, but also so that they can expand and grow. Any business requires money in order to make product, whether that product is food, an item that you can purchase, or entertainment media that you consume as a viewer. As nice as it would be if Watcher could make their content without needing money to do so, they can't. Even independent YouTubers, including video essayists and Let's Players, require money to make their content. The equipment, in both purchasing and upkeep, requires money. The games (for Let's Players) require money. Internet and electricity bills, food, books needed for research, props, et cetera -- all of that requires money. No matter how simple a video may look, it still requires money to make. There is a reason that most people aren't able to make YouTube a full time job, and it isn't because they aren't talented; it's because it is a deceptively expensive venture to get into.
So with that said, even without knowing Watcher's current financial situation, it does make sense that they need money to run their business, purely from a "businesses need money" standpoint. This is common sense. This is why things like Watcher selling merchandise, having sponsored ads, having a Patreon, et cetera always made sense. And it is possible, too, that even if their present financial situation is okay, that they are thinking about the future, and costs they are likely to be incurring within the next year.
I don't know how many people within the fanbase listen to their podcast, Pod Watcher, but I do. A few episodes ago, Steven revealed that he wants to open a Malaysian restaurant within the next year. This is his dream, to bring Malaysian culture to the United States with food. This is an amazing dream for him, it's wonderful for him, I wish him success in this venture.
However, running a restaurant -- and not only running one, but building one from the ground up and running it -- takes an astronomical amount of time and energy. This is time and energy that Steven is currently expending keeping Watcher Entertainment afloat as the sole person in charge of managing their financials. (He has the official title of CEO, with Shane and Ryan having stepped away from that title In Name Only to focus on production, but the job that Steven is actually doing is CFO -- Chief Financial Officer.) So when Steven announced that he was going to be opening a restaurant within the next year, what I heard was, "Oh, Steven is leaving Watcher within the next year." This is supported, in my opinion, by Steven saying things like how Shane and Ryan will get free drinks whenever they visit, and then hastily tacking on fans can have it, too. He was trying not to show that he was leaving just yet to the fanbase, but the writing is on the wall and they all know it.
What this means is that when Steven leaves, they will need to find someone to replace him. Either Shane and/or Ryan will need to step away from producing and acting in their shows to take over CFO duties (which the reason why they stepped away is because they handled CFO duties poorly while Steven was better equipped for it, so I doubt either of them would like to do this), or they will need to hire someone to do that for them. The lowest CFO salary in LA I can find is $140k/year, and that isn't including benefits. Since Steven helped found the company, it's doubtful he's making that much, but his replacement won't be a founder and will likely want competitive compensation. There is a good chance that, considering this, Shane, Ryan, and Steven feel pressured to bring in a lot more money than they're currently doing right now.
And I understand all of that. I have supported them where I can; yesterday I literally wore my $80+ Mystery Files jacket to work, which felt a bit bitter after the news broke and I realized I wouldn't be able to watch future seasons of said show. I overpaid for a denim jacket because I wanted to support them. It's not as if I don't understand.
However . . . here is where the criticism begins.
To begin with, there is an old saying: you have to spend money to make money. To go back to my previous statements about how even smaller scale YouTubers spend money to keep producing videos to keep their channels afloat, what this saying means is that if you aren't going to put any money into your business or product, you aren't going to have a business or product to generate any revenue. However, some young business owners take this to the extreme, and figure that if they pump tons and tons and tons of cash into their business at the start, it will start to generate revenue more quickly. What ends up happening is that they overspend, sometimes even despite their best efforts not to, and end up not being able to claw their way back out of the red in the end.
Unfortunately, that is what I think that Watcher is doing with their new streamer.
Let's be clear: There have been valid criticisms about how they seemingly over-budget on shows that don't need to have such high production values or budget. Someone mentioned that their Let's Play show (I don't watch that one because horror games are uninteresting to me, so I don't remember the name) credits something akin to 26 people, which is silly when you consider the fact that there are independent Let's Players who are able to produce content themselves. Of course, you have to remember that the LPers on YouTube are editing their own videos, which Ryan and Shane probably aren't able to do -- but even then, that would be one or perhaps two additional editors. The number of people they have working on that particular venture does seem excessive.
With that said though, those 26 people were already employed and being paid, so having them work on the Let's Play show was likely not a new business expense. The streamer, however, is a completely different story.
First, they had to have paid likely multiple people to build the WatcherTV streaming website for them. Granted, I could be wrong since I have never used Squarespace, but I find it difficult to believe this is something Squarespace would be capable of handling. So unless they already had experienced programmers on their staff, they would have had to hire programmers to build the streaming website. They would also need to pay for hosting the streaming website, which includes not only the domain, but server space for all of their videos, and videos take up a lot of space. Previously, YouTube hosted all of their videos. Now? That needs to be on Watcher, and server space and maintenance is not cheap.
So they are paying for programmers, domain name, server space, server maintenance. They are also going to need to pay for security. Not only do they need to be concerned about any potential DDoS attempts, but more importantly they need security to ensure that they can't suffer a data breach and lose the credit card information of their subscribers, something which happens all the time to other companies. Now you may say, if it happens all the time and those companies are fine, Watcher will be too, right? Well, does Watcher have lawyers on retainer? Because litigation can be raised against companies with insufficient website security that puts customers' financial information at risk, which means Watcher could find themselves facing a lawsuit if their streamer is hacked and credit card information is stolen.
So they will need to pay for systems administrators to not only build security for the streamer, but also maintain security for the streamer, because cyber attacks evolve each day and it is a constant battle against them. It is possible that whatever third party they partnered with to build the streamer for them bundled all this together (if that is the route they went), but either way, services like that do not come cheap -- and if they do, you are not getting a service of value.
So what this comes down to is that Watcher Entertainment has likely spent a ton of money they allegedly do not have to build this streamer, taking the "you have to spend money to make money" adage to the extreme. Their hope, near as I can tell, is that they will generate enough revenue from the streamer so that they will be able to recoup the cost of building and maintaining the streamer and generate profit. However, judging by the reaction from the fandom, I think that is unlikely.
As everyone knows, the reaction to this news has been abysmal. While some of the responses toward Steven and Ryan in particular have been racist vomit, I do think there are valid reasons for why this news has been received so poorly. These reasons include:
Watcher built hype for a week, with a countdown timer and everything, teasing an announcement as if it were a new show or similar "gift" to the fandom, when in reality it was the news that the fandom would now have to pay for content that was previously free.
Patreon subscribers are expected to continue paying the same amount, but for far less content than before. Access to the streamer is not included in the basic tier; they'll need to double their cash output.
Many fans are international fans who can't access the streamer at all without a VPN to switch their location to the United States. Even if they want to pay, they are barred from doing so, meaning that Watcher Entertainment is shutting a large portion of its fanbase out for the foreseeable future.
Watcher took a very patronizing tone with their audience in both the announcement video and their Patreon letter. In the announcement video, which was fourteen minutes long when the actual pertinent information took half that time to deliver (if that), they began with a long diatribe about their careers and how much YouTube meant to them, and how sad they were to leave it -- as if they had guns held to their head, and weren't making this decision of their own volition. This is condescending; it implies they believe their audience is stupid enough to believe they were backed into a corner and have no choice. In the Patreon letter, they had a line that read, "And part of that change includes a bit of news that will surely be met with some fits of sobs- we're bringing Watcher Weekly+ to a close. We know. We know." Again, this is patronizing language. They are talking down to their fans, and assuming their fans will be heartbroken by losing a behind scenes the video, or whatever Watcher Weekly+ is. This arrogant, condescending tone does not help soften the blow of being told they are going to pay the same amount of money for less content.
As you can see, the way that Watcher Entertainment executed the announcement that they would be moving future content behind a paywall was abysmal, and the fanbase reacted accordingly. Provided that the anger isn't empty and that the current fanbase sticks true to their word about not subscribing (either out of principle, location, or because they can't afford it), Watcher Entertainment has lost a huge chunk of expected revenue directly out of the gate. And it's possible that they expected this; they had to know they would be shutting out international fans (at least for a time, presumably) and that there would be fans who couldn't afford it. But it's possible that they felt that there would be enough fans to support and subscribe anyway (hence the arrogant tone about people sobbing over losing Watcher Weekly+; that attitude screams of "you're so devoted to us you will do whatever we ask no matter the cost"), and also that they would be able to pick up enough new fans that it would cushion the blow of losing old fans.
Here is where the next problem lies.
Watcher's current subscription model is $5.99/month or $60/year. If you go monthly, you end up paying $72 for the year, so the annual plan is the better deal by $12. When you compare pricing to other streaming services, this may not seem so bad at first; it's on par with DropoutTV, and it's cheaper than Netflix, Disney+, and other big names such as those.
The difference, though, is that all of those other streamers -- DropoutTV included -- have far more content than Watcher does, meaning that the customer (and keep in mind that we are customers, we are not friends, and truly we are not fans when we are paying them money for product from their business) gets more bang for their buck.
I have seen the argument from defenders of the streamer in fandom that say, "So you care about quantity over quality?" And this argument is flawed for several reasons:
There are plenty of quality TV shows on other streaming platforms. DropoutTV has Game Changer. Hulu has Schitt's Creek and Abbot Elementary. Peacock has The Office and Parks & Recreation, so on and so forth. Watcher Entertainment has good shows, but they are not the only good shows in the whole of the media industry. Dare I say, they aren't even the only good shows on YouTube.
While Watcher does produce shows of high quality, their shows have tiny seasons of only six episodes each, and their seasons are spaced out months apart. They also cancel their shows without warning or announcement, meaning fans can wait (and wait, and wait) for a new season of a show they like that will never come, because Watcher dropped the show and didn't bother making official word on it. If you go through Watcher's entire content library (which is easy to do even if you like all their shows, and even easier if you only have a handful of shows you enjoy), then you will be paying for a streamer that you do not use for months on end while you wait for the next batch of six episodes that you maybe want to see if, again, you don't like all of their shows. (I myself only follow five: Puppet History, Mystery Files, Too Many Spirits, Top 5 Beatdown, and Ghost Files.) That is money you have spent on a service you rarely use. In other words: money wasted.
That last point is particularly important when you consider that Watcher Entertainment hopes to draw new customers in to subscribe to their streamer.
Pretend, for a moment, that you have never heard of Ryan, Shane, or Watcher before. You are browsing YouTube, and you come across the season premier of season three of Ghost Files. You enjoy it, so you think, oh, I would like to view the rest of the season. You learn that the rest of the season is on a streaming service called WatcherTV, which only hosts series that Watcher themselves have produced. Their library is very small right now. New episodes for ongoing seasons are weekly, they only have one season airing at a time, new seasons have month long gaps between them. This service costs $60 a year annually, or $6 a month ($72 annually). You've never seen any of their other shows before, and while you could technically afford it, it's not as if money is no object to you. You'd likely have to give up a streamer that has a much, much larger selection of shows and movies you already know you like to give this one a shot. (This one that, mind you, doesn't work outside of your internet browser, so you can't watch it on your television either.)
Would you do it? Really put yourselves in the shoes of someone who has no familiarity at all with Shane, Ryan, Steven, or their shows before that moment. Would you choose to pay $60 for a streamer with low accessibility, and a tiny, infrequently updated library? Especially if it meant losing access to so much more?
It isn't just that numerical value of the price that makes it a bad move. It's the price relative to the product being offered. Watcher's own fans, who love their content, are fiercely divided over whether to subscribe, with many saying they won't. In what universe does someone who has never heard of Watcher sign up to pay them that much for so little offerings? Particularly when they'll only be advertising via YouTube, and infrequently at that given that they'll only be posting season premiers?
(And this is not getting into how they were originally going to pull all of their content before the backlash. Yes, they walked it back -- but not only did they say in the video that the content would only be live until May 31st, but the Variety article says that the company originally told Variety that they would be pulling content, only for Ryan to issue a statement saying they wouldn't do that after. Meaning, they walked that part back because that's the part they could walk back. They have undoubtedly sank far too much money into the streamer to back out of that now. It's way too late.)
Businesses need to make money. Steven, Ryan, and Shane are business owners who are trying to make their business profitable. But I believe that this was one of the worst ways to go about it. I'm not saying that I know exactly what they should have done instead. I don't have all the answers. But I do know that from the terrible execution of getting everyone excited only to tell them (in the most patronizing way possible) that they would now have to pay for a previously free service, to deciding to sink a bunch of money into a streamer that they seem to have done no market research on beforehand and that they don't have the content library to support, this absolutely seems like the wrong way. Moving their content to an existing streamer like Nebula would have been a better move, in my opinion. (And it would have prompted me to actually sign up for Nebula, since there are several video essayists I haven't followed there . . . but I would have followed Watcher, since it would give me access to Watcher content and the content of those video essayists I've been missing.)
But what's done is done. As I said, I think at this point Watcher Entertainment has jumped off the cliff and they didn't do so with a bungee cable. I don't think they can walk this back. I'll be interested in seeing if they succeed, but I have very strong doubts they will.
86 notes
·
View notes
Text
what we whispered in the dark [m]
𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 stardew valley : sam x afab!reader (no pronouns)
𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 Between the sneaking around and him nearing cumming in his pants from a heated kiss, you don't feel like a pair of twenty-somethings who are three and a half seasons into their relationship. And something about that makes your heart soar. He always finds a way to make you fall in love like it's the first day all over again.
𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 smut (minors dni), fluff, established relationship, face-sitting, vaginal fingering (barely), cross-posted on ao3 | 1.9k words
𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 my first x reader smut! i was going to continue, but i figured that this was a good stopping place. let me know if you liked it :)
On your first day in Pelican Town, you tried to greet everyone, introducing yourself as the new farmer taking over your grandfather's dilapidated farm. The reactions varied from the gruff Get the fuck out of my face (Shane, your favorite grouch) to the stand off-ish Oh...you're not what I was expecting (Jodi, who's warmed up a little) to the pleasant Nice. I'll see you around (Alex, one of your fastest friends).
And Sam? Sam was sweet, you realized immediately, and your impression hasn't changed since. With his bright hair and even brighter smile, he always passes you with a chipper wave, kicking off on his ever present skateboard, and you find yourself saving all of your fished-up Joja Cans just to see his face light up. Sam is sweet and kind and nice and just a little dumb and funny and currently doing a really shitty job of sneaking out of his house.
"Can you be a little quieter?" you hiss from the bushes, wincing as his knee hits the windowsill for the second time.
You're not worried about Kent. In fact, he's watching the two of you right now from his usual spot underneath the front yard tree, the smallest frown marring his features. The last time you were rushing to avoid the 2AM fine, you made a point of stopping and asking Kent for his blessing. Less because it mattered and more because he often sat here until late, and you weren't sure if you could avoid both his insomniac habits and the town's curfew.
"His mom leaves the house around ten," Kent murmurs. "Make sure to set an alarm before you get distracted with playing your video games."
"No worries, sir, I'm up by sunrise," you say, eyes not leaving your boyfriend. He's finally making his way down the makeshift rope ladder. "Can you please teach him how to sneak out properly next time?"
Over your shoulder, Kent snorts softly. "Sure."
It's been years since either of you were a teenager, but Sam breathes a youthful energy back into you, taking your hand as soon as he hits the ground and running off with one last glance at his dad. You keep up with his long strides, the wind whipping at your straw hat and clothes, and have to suppress a giggle as he nearly trips over a rock. He's really bad at this. You slip an extra glowstone ring onto his thumb.
"That's the first time I actually made it out undetected," he says, a laugh bubbling in his chest. "I need to tell Seb tomorrow."
"How does it usually go?"
"Well, I barely get out the front door—"
See? A little dumb. You bite back a silly comment, shooting him a smile that he returns instead.
The journey from his house to yours isn't far—go past Leah's cozy cabin, take a right at Marnie's expansive ranch, follow the newly laid stone path until you see the telltale stable—but it's long enough for your floating moods to sink into something akin to anticipation. At the stoop, you drop your keys once, then twice. It doesn't help that Sam's trailing his fingers along your sides, dropping kisses along your shoulders.
"You should just leave the door unlocked next time," he suggests when you finally get the key in. You barely managed to pull together the plan for tonight, and he's already talking about next time. "No one's out here this late."
"Except us."
"Except us," he echoes.
You kick your shoes off, but you're not sure where they land because Sam has you pressed against the closed door, lips moving against yours, clumsy in his haste. His hands are tight on your hips as he pulls you into him. You're tempted to lose yourself in the urgency.
"Sam, wait," you manage. He hums in acknowledgement, moving to brush his nose along your jaw. "I need to take a shower first. I've been foraging in Cindersap all day."
"You could be covered in slime goop, and I'd still find you hot," he says with so much sincerity your knees almost buckle.
"Thanks, but it's not a matter of whether or not I'm attractive." You push his shoulders squarely. He yields. "I feel gross. It'll take five, ten minutes tops. You can wait upstairs for me."
"And what if I get lost?" He raises his eyebrows. "I feel like I should follow you to the shower."
You roll your eyes. "Heel, boy. I'll be right there, okay?"
His excitement is endearing. Between the sneaking around and him nearing cumming in his pants from a heated kiss, you don't feel like a pair of twenty-somethings who are three and a half seasons into their relationship. And something about that makes your heart soar. He always finds a way to make you fall in love like it's the first day all over again. As promised, you're done washing off in seven minutes. For a second, you entertain the idea of walking into your bedroom with only a towel, just to gauge his reaction, but you throw on a tank top and shorts instead, foregoing underwear since it'll all be gone anyway.
You find him on the edge of your bed, sorting your mail into two piles on your nightstand. He looks up with a smile.
"JojaMart's having a sale on seeds," he reports. "You can use my employee discount and get a little more off."
"Yeah?" You step between his open legs and brush blond hair away from his forehead. Your beautiful, radiant boyfriend. "How much off?"
"I don't remember. Like 10%, I think?"
"Just ten?" You shimmy your shorts down an inch. He follows their journey like a hawk. "I thought it was more than that."
"Maybe it was twenty, I'm not sure."
"That's all? A shame." You push them down further, exposing your hips, and his eyes light up as he catches on.
He wets his lips and says, voice strained, "No, it was 100%. Definitely completely off."
You let him tug your shorts down, and when they pool around your ankles, you kick them off. His gaze flickers between your exposed skin and your face, impossibly reverent. He doesn't pray to Yoba like his family, but his expression, here and now, is one of a worshiper. Devoted and devout until the end of time.
He pulls you in for a kiss, mouth open to swallow your moans, and falls back onto your sheets. Your legs straddle his hips, and you whimper as he ruts his growing bulge against the apex of your legs. The material of his sweatpants drag against you—you definitely need to throw it in the laundry before he leaves.
"This wet already, baby? The night's barely started," he mumbles against your lips. Under normal circumstances, the stain on his pants would embarrass you, but anticipation thrums in your veins. The hands on your waist force you to still, and it's pathetic how close you are to begging him to keep going. "As much as I love it, I'm not going to last long like this and I want to finish in you tonight. Okay?"
"Okay," you manage, "but you better keep your word."
He laughs. "I always do. Now how much of a discount do I need to promise if I want you to sit on my face?"
.
.
You're a sight that Sam can never tire of. He isn't the wordy kind of person, but if he was, he'd likely wax poetic about how beautiful you look right now. Something about how the crescent moon spills from the open window and falls over your skin like liquid silver.
Huh. That actually wasn't bad. Maybe writing lyrics for the band has made him better at this sort of thing. He settles on the pile of pillows on your bed, murmuring encouragements as you shift forward and straddle his face.
"Are you sure?" you're asking for the third time, and he has to hold back from rolling his eyes.
He tries his best to look you in the face, which is hard considering everything else tempting his gaze. Yoba, this is a perspective that he needs to get more often. "Babe," he says, trailing kisses along your thigh. "Seriously. I already said it before, but this is exactly what I want. You're stunning. Amazing. Perfect. I'd rather die between your legs than anywhere—" And the rest of his argument is lost on his tongue as you finally take a seat and Sam considers quitting his day job at JojaMart to do this forever.
He inhales the dampness of your pussy, flattens his tongue, and basks in the way you keel forward, fingers curling around the headboard to keep steady. A shaky breath from you and he sets out in earnest, one hand digging into your ass, the other skimming its way up your body until it lands on your chest. He's not the type to curse much either, but fuck, your tits are amazing. He grasps at them firmly, just how you like it, until you yank your top over your head and he can finally get a full view.
His hands move again, this time to spread you further apart as his tongue laps at your dripping cunt, and if your growing cries are any indication, he's proud to say that he's gotten good at this lately.
Can you be a little quieter? he's tempted to echo the complaint you had at his house earlier, but he holds back from teasing for two reasons. One, he actually hates it when you bite back your moans. Your volume is exactly why you can't do this at his place, and he relishes in the way your noises go straight to his dick, currently straining to be freed from his sweats. And two, truthfully, he doesn't think he can separate from you long enough to say anything.
So he expresses his pleasure with guttural groans and pants as you grind down into his face, your clit clipping his nose in a way that has you squirming in his hold. You're fucking amazing, and he hopes you know this. He feels like he doesn't tell you that enough.
"So good, a-ah, Sam, fuck...just like that. Keep goi—oh my—"
Your pace stutters when his lips finally suction around your clit, and his name becomes a breathless mantra on your tongue as he unravels you on his. You rock against his face, previous hesitation forgotten as you chase after your high.
"'m so close," you whimper, your hands kneading your chest desperately. "So, so close—Sam, please—almost there."
Without warning, he sinks a finger into you, the metal of his glowstone ring cold against your flushed folds, and it's enough to send you over the edge. A flurry of broken curses spill over as you ride it out, and Sam swears he can drown in your pussy, lapping at your orgasm until you push off of him and slide onto your back.
"You're too good at this for a newbie," you insist, voice petulant as you catch your breath.
He wants to kiss you so bad, make you taste yourself on the slick that runs down his chin, but he cleans himself up and waits beside you patiently until you tug at his hand. A sign that you're ready for him to make good on his promise.
#stardew valley smut#stardew smut#sdv smut#sdv sam smut#stardew sam smut#stardew valley sam smut#a3risbaby.fandom
708 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Honeymoon Never ends D.DxF!r
Summery~ When Daryl walks in on the reader practically naked he can't keep his hands off his wife. ( Read the Warnings before you read)
1.1k words
Warnings~ Smut, sweet!Daryl, horny!Dayrl, husband!Dayrl, p-in-v, brief fingering, breading kink, talk of children, kissing, teasing, praise, hint at degradation, dirty talk, reader calls Daryl Daddy, swearing, Daryl is lowkey possessive, love making, sweet sex, pet names, Dayrl being cocky, Daryl being a thigh man, hickies, aftercare, age gap, reader is in her 20's and Dayrl is in his 40's.
PSA~ I hate reading my work so it's probably not the best🫥
I found this group, there were all kinds of different people. Some were nice and some were not. I met this lovely woman named Carol, she had the most beautiful daughter and most cruel husband. Then Carl and Lori and Rick, who was a cop and his best friend Shane.
Before everything I was no one, I was a girl who didn't know where my life was going and honestly didn't care. I was quiet and shy and never did anything. I never dared to. Then the apocalypse happened and suddenly everything came at me all at once. my first encounter with a walker was in my kitchen in the middle of the night. I froze and almost died right then and there. Could have gone better.
Then there was him Dayrl, He was mean, and rough and cruel but over time he warmed up to some people like Rick who took care of those of us who were left. And Carol who was basically his best friend and mine. And then there was me, He became so nice and sweet to me. One day while we were living in a prison and we were all really tired he just kept asking me if I was all right. I didn't understand why until later he kissed me. I thought I was imagining it but I wasn't because I kissed him back. Since then I've never let him go and he's never let me either.
That brings me here now. In Alexandria a year after Dayrl asked me to marry him and two months after I did. When he was out with Carol and I was in our room. Getting dressed
I was trying to find an outfit to where since most are dirty. I was completely naked besides my panties. 'You look so pretty baby' Dayrl said in his thick accent which I love so much. ' I have to get dress Dar' I said as he carreses my thighs. ' for what? hm. what do you have to do? sit down and look pretty for me?' he says right into my ear and his hand goes higher and higher up my leg. ' I wan' the day with my wife and that's what I'm I plan to do'. I moan when be places kisses all down my neck and says ' Carol is taking my shift doll I get you all to myself'.
He turns me around and walks backwards with his tongue down my throat until I hit the back of the bed a fall onto it. He doesn't take a break from Kissing me for what seems forever. God he's so hot. When he finally does stop it's to take off his clothes. All I wanna do is kiss his beautiful body but he won't let me up. He finally takes his boxers off and his cock springs up. It's so red and leaking with precum and it always stands so tall.
'Whatcha lookin' at baby' he asks as your checks become pink but you don't care, you both know what you want and even if you wanted to say anything you don't have time before he's pulling your panties down and kissing up your leg making sure to leave marks that he only he will be able to see. When he finally gets to where you need him he picks his head up and you grind over nothing. ' No dar, please don't stop'. you say and you swear his eyes get a shade darker as he says ' Who does this pussy belong to?' God I love when he acts like this you thougt. 'You, Only you' and the second you say that his mouth is on your clit and his fingers and inside you.
'No. no, Stop' you say and he looks so confused. 'What' he says and you sit up on your elbows and say ' I want your cock please' and he just has the biggest smirk ever before he gets in between your legs and pushes them apart before he pushes into you and gives you a minute to adjust to him until you nod. The second that you give the ok He starts fucking you and it feels so good ' Holy shit Daryl. Kiss me' and he doesn't hesitate, the second you say it his lips and on yours 'faster please' and he backs up says 'you sure?' and you nod. And he goes faster ' Fuck, Daddy'. He never gets sick of you calling him that. And he says ' Fuck, 'Wan' to make me a Daddy baby?' the second he says that your eyes are open and your moaning " yes, yes, yes, please I want to make you a daddy'.
Once you say that he's going faster and rubbing your clit and it feels so good that you don't even have time to warn him before you cum. But he doesn't stop or slow down, all he cares about is cumming in you. And after you catch your high your squeezing his cock all over again, it all just feels so good too him and he cums in you while you cum around him. and he falls on top of you.
You two lay like that for a few minutes before he pulls out and you hiss and the feeling of being empty. ' did ya really mean it' he asks. 'Yeah, I did Dar' you say giggling. ' lay down Daryl, I wanna ride you' you say and he lays down, you climb on top of him and his cum that's coming out of you is making it so easy for him to slip into you. ' shit' he mutters. " Holy shit, fuck. you feels so good' from the Overstimulation of the past two orgasms this one a coming fast and hard 'shit dar, I'm gonna cum again' then he starts sloppy thrusting into you and says ' shit, me too baby' and at that moment you both cum together.
'Hm, you ok baby?' he says to you when you fall into his chest. ' yeah, just tired asshole' and at that he just laughs and sits up with you still around him and carries you both to the bathroom. He sets you on the bathroom counter and gets a rag wet. ' no' you say sleepy and kisses your temple and says ' gotta doll, don't want anything to happen to my beautiful wife' and gently puts the rag agents your swollen cunt and cleans when he just fucked.
I can't wait until you're pregnant' He mutters. Then he picks you up and carries you to the bed. 'Sleep tight my love' he says as you fall into a deep slumber. And you sleep knowing you have the hottest, bravest, husband in the world that would do anything for you
#daryl dixion smut#fanfiction#smut#daryl dixion imagine#daryl x reader#daryl dixon#daryl fluff#read the warnings
160 notes
·
View notes
Text
GG and DD and queer representation
As some of you might be aware, Greece has finally legalized same sex marriage. This was very exciting news!
I had an ask related to the Greek marriage equality debate and had begun drafting a response but ended up getting sidetracked, and by the time I got back to this post marriage equality had already won.
I figured I'd finish this response because it covers some ground that newer turtles might find useful (and because I hate leaving things like this unfinished).
@rozanthi asked:
Πιστεύετε πως οι χελώνες βοηθούν η δυσκολεύουν τους ggdd στην σημερινή πραγματικότητα;
Hi rozanthi!
Here's the rest of the ask(s) rozanthi sent.
rozanthi asked:
Sorry l put my question in English and not in Greek by mistake. Do you thing that turtles benefit or harm ggdd in today's sircumstansies, reality.
I apologize if in someway l offended you with my question about turtles and ggdd. Maybe that is the reason why you didn't answer. But you see, in my country(Greece) these few last months, a debate is going on
in our parliament about voting to make political marriage between people of the same gentre legal. There has been a lot of fight and tension from our church and people with no manners or Shane minds. I asked you that question because l support ggdd as a couple in a relationship as barriors of a message as pioneers of something important for China to accept. And l wanted to know how much public support in the form of turtles help them along or make it more difficult. Here as more we support homo.
homosexuality we bring thanter and more hate. In February we will know if we made a baby's step in out parliament. Support your ggdd in any way you see tat you really help them and not making it worse on them. They need support Ln the most gentle delicate way. Thank you for baring me.
First of all, it's OK to send me an ask in another language. Don't apologize for feeling better able to express yourself in your first language. I can always machine translate and ask for clarification when I feel I'm missing something (and the asker can clarify if I get anything wrong). Although I think you've done an adequate job of communicating your question here in English.
Second, as I've said many times, people should never read anything into whether I answer their ask or not. It's almost always just a result of me picking easier/quicker questions to answer.
Now, to address the ask.
Your question reflects some misconceptions/misunderstandings about GGDD's situation and about what turtles represent. Some of the topics you're discussing here are not directly related, and I'm going to try to break them down into their component parts for you.
The first and most important thing I can say to you is (and this is really, really key to understanding GGDD and understanding what turtles are in China):
GG and DD are not representatives of the queer community, and turtles are not a political movement.
Quite the contrary. I think it's fair and accurate to say that GG and DD, and by extension turtles, actively take steps to avoid being seen as part of a political movement, queer movement, protest movement or human rights movement.
(In fact, unfortunately many turtles are actually not particularly LGBTQ-friendly, don't support queer rights or gay marriage, and don't even consider GG and DD to be gay/queer. Many believe GG and DD are only 'gay' for each other, which is homophobic and a reflection of poor sex education).
It's essential for their own safety that GG and DD are not seen as political movement in China, or as figureheads of the queer rights movement. The Chinese government and even a sizable percentage of the public at large tend to take a very dim view of anyone who tries to organize and rally around subversive political causes.
Especially the current government, which is very repressive and has been rolling back LGBTQ rights and freedoms and cracking down on queer orgs, shutting down LGBTQ outreach organizations, etc. Pride events and large public gatherings are treated as disruptive protest movements, and have been banned.
There are queer male turtles in China who actively avoid openly identifying as turtles in order to protect the fandom from being seen as a queer rights movement.
Turtles are a fandom and are categorized and treated that way both by turtles and by passersby. Just a fandom of 'cute young girls' clowning over some handsome boys they ship together.
It's important that it stays that way. GG and DD cannot be seen as leading a movement, they cannot take on the role of leading a movement, and many turtles would likely not even support such a movement.
That's not because GGDD are queer, by the way - although under the current government queerness is becoming in some ways more restricted and frowned upon at least from an official perspective - it's because political movements are frowned upon*.
*That's not to say that Chinese people don't organize or protest around certain causes, but those causes tend to be more municipal or limited in scope. Broader political movements - especially ones that appear to stand against the policies of the current regime - are generally very quickly quashed.
That's also not to say that GG and DD aren't hugely inspiring to queer people all over the world, because they are.
GG and DD do not even present themselves as queer.
This is important to keep in mind. GG and DD are closeted, and are assumed by the public at large to be straight single men. 'Eligible bachelors'. This is a double-edged sword, but ultimately it protects them and protects their careers. Top stars are a lot more marketable if there's a perception of romantic availability, and relationships - even relationship rumors - can have a massively negative impact on a star's career.
Even straight married stars hide their relationship status and present themselves as single for this same reason, and straight married celebrity couples - even ones who are out as being married - who attend industry events will often pretend not to know each other in public (sound familiar?).
Coming out as (or being outed as) married or in a relationship is viewed as career suicide, and a star's numbers, opportunities and popularity will plummet. Not always, but usually. Producers and backers know what sells, and married stars just don't sell as much as hot singles do. Fans will pursue stars that appear to be single, and drop them when they marry or come out with a relationship.
Heteronormativity means the vast majority of people in China will assume GG and DD are straight, and GG and DD will not 'correct' them on that. Quite the opposite, they go along with and even at times might say or do things that help feed the perception that they're straight.
There are almost no LGBTQ public figures in China, and those who are out are not top stars.
As international fans, what we do and think doesn't matter much.
Things that happen in the international fandom are largely irrelevant to people in China, and are almost never going to have any impact whatsoever on GG and DD. What we think about them and what they represent to us is of little consequence to their careers.
For example, the ongoing i-fan debate about colored light banners is a bit of a wank because nobody in the international fandom is ever likely to be at an event where we would have to make decisions about what color of light banner to bring. Our thoughts about colored light banners are utterly irrelevant to the fandom in China.
It's really easy to lose sight of that as an international fan, and get so caught up in and wrapped up in our own ideas and arguments and debates that we forget that nothing we say do or think really has any relevance to GGDD's lives.
Our support for their projects and merchandise and brands, our subscriptions to platforms to view their dramas, our movie tickets, our fan support when they travel internationally... these things do have an impact on them and do matter, but the opinions and political ideas that we might discuss and debate here on Tumblr or even on Twitter are highly unlikely to ever reach their circle or directly impact them, whether positive or negative.
There are some notable exceptions to this. Making candy out of nationalistic posts - particularly posts about events of national mourning or major political significance - is unwise and could potentially backlash on them. More about that in this series of posts from Pie.
I talked about some of the other harmful things we should be avoiding in this post.
But the idea that anything international fans might do or say as turtles might negatively impact GG and DD is - for the most part - not a reflection of reality.
There are valid reasons to believe GG and DD value turtles and take strength from our support.
This fandom has been around for 6 years, and in all that time GG and DD have never sought to shut it down. Other dating rumors, CP, etc. have been shut down over the years, but turtles continue to be the top CP in China and the fandom is constantly growing.
GG and DD have been caught on camera many times reacting positively to turtle light banners.
LRLG rumors - which many turtles believe hold a lot of credibility - have repeatedly depicted GG and DD as enjoying our support, and have at times directly expressed GG and DD's appreciation and gratitude to turtles for our support.
Despite the fact that this fandom is hugely controversial among GG and DD's solo fans and even among some passersby, GG and DD and some of their associates continue to regularly feed us candy. This is something that simply would not happen if we didn't have GG and DD's support.
If we believe BJYXSZD, then it only follows that turtles would mean a lot to GG and DD.
There is a fine balancing act between GGDD and turtles, where we show our support and they feed us, and we all try to keep things light and fly somewhat under the radar.
But turtles aren't 'under the radar at all'. Turtles are an incredibly active, vibrant, loud fandom in China, with big events and public charity work and fan activities and banners and billboards, etc. etc. However, they manage to fly under the radar because they're 'just fans'. They're not a political movement and they're not troublemakers. They're just a bunch of fans having fun together.
They also fly under the radar by being seen as a crazy fringe group, a bunch of deluded clowns. They are underestimated and dismissed because of this, which protects GG and DD.
A lot of turtles wear that proudly because they know that they're acting as a shield for GG and DD. Turtles make it possible for GG and DD to get public support for their relationship without having their relationship outed. Turtles take all the hate and ridicule that's piled on them, so that they can show GG and DD they're loved and supported.
This is one of the things about turtles that is most beautiful and powerful. Turtles stick their necks out every day to support and protect GG and DD.
I talked about that in more detail in this post.
I hope this helps give some context about queer issues as they relate to GG and DD, and to the turtle fandom as a whole. While many people inside and outside China support GGDD and are inspired by them and view them as queer icons, the way they are framed and discussed will differ wildly between the Chinese and international fandoms, and what is said outside of China won't have much of an impact on GGDD. That's for the best.
For my thoughts on the politics of all this, please see this post.
56 notes
·
View notes
Text
where I've been
hello friends! it's me!
I know my presence has been really hit or miss over the past year and change. if you want the short version, life has just been really tough, but I'm at the point where I really want to feel like life feels more normal again, which includes writing and posting and being more active.
if you'd like the deluxe edition of what's been going on, I do feel like I want to share what's been happening. it's been really rough and the next steps are only going to be more difficult, so knowing I have friends rooting for me will really help.
you don't have to read if you don't want to, it's kind of a bummer! the biggest takeaway is that I've been going through a garbage time but I want to start writing regularly again, so hopefully you'll see a lot more of me moving forward.
everything else below the cut!
tw: pregnancy, pregnancy loss
okay so. y'all know I got married in December 2022 (and we are still very happily married!!). we've known from the getgo that we want a family, but hadn't quite pulled the trigger.
well, there was another situation that happened that made me realize that I really wanted to start trying now, but it also unlocked a really deep trauma. when I was 23 I was in a really horrible relationship, and I got pregnant. and I ended up miscarrying pretty early on. and I got zero support. that's the short version.
I ended up, I guess for my own sanity, blocking it out. there's big gaps in my memory that just. don't exist. and for a long time I told myself it didn't happen. later, when I acknowledged that it did happen, I told myself that it was for the best, that I would have been a bad mother at that point in my life, that I would have had to maintain contact with my ex, that it just wasn't the right time and it was a good thing that I lost my baby.
the problem was I never grieved. I never healed. it was all just locked away and festering and killing me slowly.
so I ended up spending a good part of last year grieving and trying to deal with pain that I should have dealt with years ago. which...let me tell you, it's a rough process.
and at the same time, I realized that I wanted to start trying. my whole life I've wanted to be a mom. I've wanted five kids for as long as I can remember. Every time I pictured the future I pictured children. And I didn't want to wait anymore. which...is extra complicated to start that process when you're also in the midst of unpacking trauma.
and as you might have guessed...I'm not pregnant yet.
I'm very lucky that my work has a great medical program and they don't have waiting periods to see fertility specialists, so I started seeing doctors last April. And there's nothing wrong. I've done bloodwork, I've done ultrasounds, I've done so many tests, Shane has been tested. We've done three medicated cycles with trigger shots. They can't find anything wrong. They keep shrugging and saying that it's just the matter of the right time.
Unexplained infertility is a bitch.
It's so painful. It's so unfair. And because of my job I'm constantly doing orders for pregnancy announcements and gender reveals and baby's first Christmas. I cannot tell you how many times I've run to the bathroom to cry because I just can't handle being surrounded by reminders that I'm not anybody's mother yet.
I'm currently on cycle 17 of trying. which. that on its own hurts so much. s e v e n t e e n.
we have to hold off on starting the next steps because Shane lost his job (which is another absolutely insane stressor) but he's in a new job that he loves and pays better, and I'm getting a referral for a new clinic for a second opinion. but it looks like we're going to move forward with IVF.
I'm very very lucky that my work will pay for a significant amount towards IVF, but there's still payments we have to make, so we're working on getting our ducks in a row. and it's a terrifying prospect. medications and egg retrieval (my first surgery ever) and transfers. and the crippling fear that they won't get enough eggs or none of them will fertilize or the transfer won't be successful. it's eating me away. I've been feeling like such a shell of myself, every failed cycle feels like another piece of me has faded away.
right now I'm trying to focus on getting myself in as healthy as a place as possible, emotionally and physically, before we start procedures. am I still hoping that I'll get pregnant without IVF? oh, desperately. but at this point, nearly a year and a half into trying, this is probably going to be our best bet.
so moving forward, I'm hoping I can start doing things that make me happy again. I've spent most of the past year and a half being incredibly depressed and not really doing anything other than laying around in bed. I did discover Lockwood & Co thanks to Maeve, and that's helped so much because it gave me something new to think about and fixate on (and write for), but it's still been rough and sporadic. which, actually, is a good describer of how the past year has gone. I need to get back into living again.
in the meantime thank you for everybody who's checked in on me, especially QuiddoDitto. I haven't really had the energy to message back, but I've seen the comments and messages and it's meant so much to me while I slog through this.
hopefully things will get better soon! hopefully I start feeling like a person again! hopefully I'll be writing and posting regularly because I miss it!
and hopefully there'll be a baby in my arms soon.
36 notes
·
View notes
Note
Okay, I didn't think of Shane when I was making that Julian gifset, but you're right, that nose scrunch is something Shane used to do. (I've definitely seen it in other characters too, but it was Shane that did that twisted twitch of his brow more often.) That's how good Jon is that I never look at a new character and see Shane or any of his other roles. We’ve already talked about this a million times, but I love how much work he puts into each of his characters, how he comes up with all their mannerisms, the way they talk, sit and walk... Even when he’s basically playing similar roles, I could never look at any of them and say that looks like Shane, or that’s Frank, or that’s whatever. Obviously that’s what actors do, but not all of them do. I’d love to see him in more roles like Julian, he did an amazing work despite the show being kind of a flop. He always stands out. That first scene alone when he’s being interrogated is just one of his best scenes in his entire career imo.
You said you wanted a statement so there it is, have a good day 💜
Hahaha, you can send those kinda statements any time you want, cause I can only agree with you 1000%. Going from playing Shane who slowly goes crazy, to someone as soft and kind as Julian takes talent. We've said it before, but Jon has sooo much potential. He can play anything and he will always give his absolute best for even the smallest role. That's something I really love about him, how dedicated and passionate he is about what he does. That scene you're talking about just broke my heart. It was fantastic, and I don't remember him ever playing someone as helpless and desperate as Julian. He's been desperate as Frank when he dreams again and again about his family dying, but it wasn't the same kind of intensity. The nuances he uses to adapt to each new character is incredible. But at the same time, as much as I'll never be able to mistake one role for another thanks to his acting, I also love getting little glimpses of other characters in his different roles. You can tell that some are his own mannerisms peeking through and that's fun. The habit he has to push up his nose with his knuckles like in that GIF. That's such a Jon thing to do, but then you have the nose scrunch and there's Shane showing up for a nano second. One thing's for sure, I'm looking forward to seeing him moving around as Frank again 😍
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
Binging both season one and two of Ghost Files while sick, I must say I really appreciate the little changes made to the program for its second season.
For one; we have longer episodes and a more consistent format, both length and presentation wise.
Second; there's a lot more banter/bickering/tomfoolery left in the final cut which is what most of us fans want to see – aka Shane and Ryan throwing jabs at one another like an old married couple.
Third; there's more of the discussions of evidence as well as more of said evidence being presented and met with Shane's skepticism.
Four; there's more of Shane overall. Yes, he had some truly unhinged moments in season one (fighting the ghost of Mr Hull comes to mind), but he gets to truly shine in season two.
Five; longer dual investigation sessions and more time given to the ongoing bits, which only adds to the enjoyment.
Six; "evidence" is not taken for granted on location or in hindsight, but is instead questioned and presented as less concrete.
Seven; even Shane does provide some good discoveries and interactions here and there, and while this was also part of season one, season two expands upon it – this is also coupled with the fact that Ryan questions what he experiences a lot more, instead of taking every little noise as a ghostly gospel truth.
These are all positives and they make the show better, serving as vast improvements to its entertainment value.
As for negatives, the only one I can really think of is how sometimes even the more "compelling" evidence gets watered down. Sometimes something happens that could be interesting or that feels more authentic, but it's kind of torn down by the narrative. I can't quite explain it better than that.
So what would I like to see next? A bit more balance between skepticism and belief, perhaps? Season one was very heavy on the belief in ghosts, while season two feels like it's leaning farther into the skeptic side of things. Which is all fair and good, but an even ground would be nice.
However, it is infinitely entertaining to see Shane and Ryan's views rub off on the other. Ryan is a lot less panicky, and it's lovely seeing him engage with the "ghosts" to a point where we receive some interesting interactions that the old Ryan would have run away from screaming. Ryan antagonizing the ghosts is also a fabulous turn. Shane on the other hand actually sometimes entertaining the idea that something might not have a clean cut explanation is the flip side of this; "it could have been anything, but I'm fairly sure I heard a knock". You can't always explain everything, and even if ghosts are unlikely, who's to say? I like this little twist a lot, as it provides a more genuine feeling of balance between the two.
All in all, as someone who's been following these two ever since their B*zzfeed days (I believe the Isle of Dolls was the first thing of theirs I watched), the contrast is very stark but in the best of ways. Seeing Shane and Ryan grow and evolve as people, and now being allowed to be their more authentic selves under their own company, is a joy. They even convinced me to become a patron, which in my case is saying something! (I literally never join any creator's Patreon because I'm pisspoor.)
Just some thoughts of mine. Feel free to engage in some conversation if you'd like!
#ghost files#shane madej#ryan bergara#shane madej ryan bergara#shane and ryan#watcher#buzzfeed unsolved#ghoul boys#ryan and shane#buzzfeed unsolved supernatural
106 notes
·
View notes
Text
Harvey x Farmer playlist
I'm right because I said so. you may notice that a lot of these have sky themes, I love my not-pilot so much.
Things That Look Like Mistakes (Bears in Trees) - this is the song that led me to make this post. I imagine that Harvey has one of those 'always on' brains that just keep going, and the farmer can calm that down a bit. it's about not worrying for a second, despite the passage of time and getting closer to death.
Fly Me to the Moon (Frank Sinatra) - I'm so surprised people don't talk about this more. to me, this is The Harvey Song. it's jazz, it's about flying, it's a sweet love song. he likes this song, it's all but canon. there are probably more apt jazz songs for him, but I'm not that into jazz so if you have any recs...
Harvey (Pillow Queens) - I actually found this song through this post by shreddies-scribbles, and she's so correct. no explanation necessary.
Hey Lover (the Daughters of Eve) - Harvey thinks he's boring, and this song is about not caring about that. he's so sweet I'm losing my mind. 'true love and understanding for the rest of my days' is exactly what he'd give the farmer.
All You Get is Confetti (Bears in Trees) - this is actually more about the farmer, either pre-moving to the valley or early on when it's really tight financially. there's this exhaustion with life but the knowledge that they'll one day 'be everything to someone'. also 'I'm gonna die before you, it's the first race that I'll win' something something dying in the mines repeatedly.
Pierre and Natasha / the Great Comet of 1812 (Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812) - Pierre and Natasha reminds me of that Shane cutscene, and the Great Comet of 1812 is just a really beautiful image of someone looking at the sky while happy to be alive. something about the line 'I throw my fur coat on my shoulders, unable to find the sleeves' is so Harvey when it's performed live.
Honey, Honey (ABBA) - had a mental image of Harvey dancing around to ABBA. that's all.
Security (the Young Veins) - very similar to Hey Lover, with an added mention of not needing to have money. Harvey seems like someone who's always trying to prove that he deserves love, but the thing is he already does. he's stable and will love the farmer forever.
Heart of Mine (the Young Veins) - 'you should take this heart of mine, you'll always have that heart of mine'
I'm Just a Sidekick (Joey Richter / Starkid) - a song about saving someone you love's life after encountering something you wouldn't be able to fight yourself. I've already mentioned Harvey's low self esteem but this is literally so him. I mean he is strong and smart and all the things the song says he's not but I don't think he sees himself that way. 'I'm just a sidekick but I love being at your side' is such a malewife line, and we all know Harvey is the king of malewives.
Heaven Sent is a Coffee Cup (Bears in Trees) - something about the first few lines is so him. I can't fully articulate why I put this in here but I know I'm right. finding magic in the little things maybe?
Too Sweet (Hozier) - listen. I know. but I think this is another one of those songs where it's actually the farmer singing it. Harvey really is the sweetest person, and I think he does fit this song, just not in the way everyone says he does. That man is not a whiskey drinker, he's a port guy.
the Milkman of Human Kindness (Billy Bragg) - omg my favourite artist in a playlist I made. groundbreaking. but seriously Harvey just gives and gives to people, he cares so much for his community and the farmer. idk, this song just kind of has vibes of just now coming to a realisation about love.
I've Got a Crush on You (Ella Fitzgerald) - I started listening to jazz just for this playlist. the idea of choosing one specific person (who doesn't consider themself anything special) out of lots of options got to me, okay? the line 'it's not that you're attractive' made me laugh though.
#listen i know i'm aro but this isnt about me. this is about the farmer.#btw wrote this over the course of a few days#might add to it. but maybe not idk.#harvey stardew valley#harvey sdv#harvey x farmer#stardew valley
25 notes
·
View notes
Note
I feel like even from back at the beginning of Worth It the buzzfeed then Watcher fandom was and is always waiting for excuses to hate on Steven. It's awful. I liked him from the start and was pissed at how Keith acted towards him in the earliest Worth it vid, and then how Andrew was so reluctant around him at first. (i loved seeing their friendship develop as Andrew got to know him better). Felt like nobody believed in his talent and abilities, and frankly I'm so proud and impressed at all he's achieved.
One thing that I never really cover in public spaces is how much I relate to Steven. Overcoming neurodivergent barriers in a demanding society that requires exceptionalism and managing to perform successfully with that social mask is one of my favourite things to watch him do. There is also something about being a second gen sheltered immigrant raised under evangelical Christianity with parents who are successful that I also relate to and in so many ways. I have the added benefit of being a multiracial woman of color and being queer so my experience with Christianity and the practice of it, as well as the dangerous situations I got into with people who are not so safe to be around was a lot less positive so I deprogrammed very quickly after high school.
Now the thing is I was that off-putting late teen student in my early 20s. I see it in his friendliness and how it's met with prickliness and a little facade of shade. People who warm up to him tend to really get where he's coming from and I've enjoyed seeing it.
Seeing people saying that they always felt weird about him, that he makes them feel uneasy or that he just doesn't have the same vibe as Ryan and Shane is
I just can't comprehend how many people are racing to villify a person just for not having the vibes you're used to. I hate breaking out this argument because often times it's abused, but a person doesn't have to come out as neurodivergent for you to know not to bully them for how they present.
I don't know...
42 notes
·
View notes
Text
Cliff side talks
This takes place in Shane's 6 heart event with mentions of 2 and 4 heart scenes
FIRST THINGS FIRST - You are loved, You deserve to be safe, Eat/Drink Something, yes you can eat cake and drink jucie, its edible and makes you happy eat/drink it, Let yourself feel what you feel, ASK FOR HELP YOU NEED IT, We all need it, I needed it
Warning: A curse word or two, Self Hate, Looking over a cliff, Depression, might hit close to home, Kinda personal, Listened to Hollywood Undead “Bullet” to remind me how i felt when I married Shane the first time, loose canon, Shane has brown eyes fight me - look at this https://sdv-community.tumblr.com/post/170012882859/the-person-confused-by-his-purple-hair-here-he-has
Walking towards the cliff where you had helped that Racoon/Tanooki thing clean up the beach under the cliff, you felt numb. You had told everyone you moved here to take over the farm after Grandpa died, that was a half-truth. Working in that cube farm of Joja’s was mentally and physically killing you, looking up only to see a camera pointed directly at you, that dull buzz of the blinking work light. You had no purpose, a twenty-something-year-old slaving away just to make enough to wake up the next day.
Yes now you lived in Pelican town and everyone was so nice, besides a few off-put people when you first moved in, but you should be happier now, right? You shouldn't be walking to the cliff just to stare down at the waves crashing into the shore, to dream about not hurting, just to chicken out and go home. No today you wouldn't chicken out, you had grown tired of the feeling you traded a cube farm job for being a lap dog for the town. No one really batted an eye at how you had cleaned up the town, and no one said anything about you fixing the bus line, it was like they loved you fixing their town but they couldn't show it for some reason.
Did you not deserve it, you must have been selfish to want more praise than a pat on the head and a "You did your job.". Hell, you have been keeping your lips shut about Lewis and the golden statue that he has, that he definitely spent town funding on. You kept your mouth shut about what you had seen in Pierre’s room, his own wife had no idea what he was hiding. Well, you were going to be selfish tonight, the rain soaking to your bone, the grass squishing under your feet. You have wanted to be selfish long before moving here, this was just a last effort and it seemed an effort lost.
As the cliffs came into focus a body lying at the edge surrounded by cans did as well. You froze for a second, no one really came out this late or hung out that close to the cliff, you thought you'd be alone. Walking closer the features became clearer, Shane. He was lying face down his shoulders and body shaking. His cries became clearer and louder as you came to stand above him.
“F-Farmer?” You heard him weakly call looking up at you, his eyes puffy and bloodshot, his face beet red, the smell of beer somehow clinging to him not allowing the rain to wash it off. “Shane….” You said softly as you set next to him, feet dangling off the ledge of the cliff. “I…..I’m Sorry…” He cried quietly and threw hiccups. “M….My life….It’s a Pathetic joke….Look at me…” His hand came off the ground in a half-assed gesture, and his words came out of him almost like your minds had been attached, he said everything you had been thinking about yourself. “Why do I even try?” A larger sob rang out “I'm too small and stupid to…to take control of my own life…I’m just a p…piece of garbage flittering in the wind…”
“I don't think that…” You whispered stopping yourself from reaching over to touch and play with his hair. You knew from your own thoughts though that the self-hating was tough, to be your own enemy, to tear yourself down so effortlessly. “I’ve been coming here often lately….looking down…Here’s a chance to finally take control of my life….these cliffs…” You both have been doing the same thing but you had never run into each other till now, ‘Life works that way sometimes…’ you thought looking down at the depressed man who had caught your eye.
His past words playing in your mind, that night on the dock, Shane had given you one of his beers. “You ever feel like…no matter what you do, you're gonna fail?” You had just moved to Pelican Town barely had any crops, had just stopped working in IT….The last time your hands had touched soil you were a child visiting Pelican town for ONE summer, yes every night you fell asleep to thoughts of failure and disappointment. “...Like you’re stuck in some miserable abyss and you’re so deep you can’t even see the light of day?”
You could see Shane looking at you from the corner of your eye, how do you respond? This was an actual conversation you were having not just him telling you to leave him alone, he was opening up to you, and it felt like a cat ran away with your tongue. “I just feel like no matter how hard I try…I’m not strong enough to climb out of that hole.” Bringing the beer to your mouth you began to drink maybe some liquid courage would help you tell Shane you know what he is feeling, it may not be the same, but similar.
You didn't even register you had chugged the whole beer when Shane began to chuckle at you. “Heh… fast drinker, huh? You are after my heart aren't you.” He said lord, you were so happy your face was red from chugging or he might have caught on to your crush. “Just don’t make it a habit… You got a future ahead of you still.” The slight pain you hear in his voice and the downward look in his eyes make your heartache if only he knew. Shane had reached over and pat you on the head a few times before standing up. “Welp… My liver’s beggin’ me to stop. Better call it a night… See you around Farmer.”
Pulling yourself back into the moment you looked back down at the soaked depressed man lying next to you. “B… Bu…*blaap*... but I’m too scared, too anxious. Just like always…” A mix of sobs and belches left him in between his words. “Farmer… All I do is work, sleep, and drink…t… to dull the feelings of self-hatred…” You knew how that went, remembering the days when you'd dragged yourself to the office, worked all day, skipped lunch because you couldn't afford more than a meal a day, went home, and fell onto the couch watching whatever was on the TV, far too tired to change the channel.
Another flashback began to take you remembering when you and Marnie had to break into his room because he had drunk himself halfway into a coma. “You wouldn’t understand…” Those words cut into you because you did understand if only you could tell Shane that yes, you get it, yes you wanna stop as well, you are just as low as he is. The cry that left Jas when Shane said “Hopefully I won’t be around long enough to need a ‘plan’...” You and Shane hadn't seen her walk in, but you both did see her run away in tears. Marnie followed her while you stayed with Shane as he began to have a panic attack.
“Why should I even go on? Tell me. T...tell me why I shouldn't roll off this cliff right now…” His cry for help breaks you out of your memory. “Shane…” You couldn't help yourself you let yourself be selfish and work your fingers into his hair. It was greasy and definitely needed to be washed but who has time for a shower when you are busy trying to get out of bed, you definitely knew what that felt like, your toothbrush being almost abandoned because you had no time really for self-care.
"Jas needs you. You’re like a father to her…” You said brushing his hair up and out of his eyes, his brown eyes looking up at you filling with tears, he was biting his lip but you could still see it was quivering. “...You’re right… Jas… Ugh, Fuck, God….I’m a fucking horrible, *hic*... Selfish Person… Now I feel even worse…” He weakly and unsuccessfully tried to remove your hand from his hair, before giving up and leaning into your touch.
“I’m horrible…” You whispered feeling Shane move to peek up at you, your eyes locked to the bottom of the cliff. “I was going to be selfish today… I… I don't….I’m so tired Shane…” From seeing Shane's face you knew the rain was doing nothing to hide that your eyes had begun to puff and tears ran down your cheeks, falling and getting lost in your soaked clothes. “What…” Shane said looking up at you. “I do the same thing… I come to this ledge and think about just... leaning over and falling off…” Looking down at Shane you could see surprise but also…fear? In his eyes. “I don't know how we have never run into each other…” A laugh escaped in between tiny sobs as you tried to wipe the tears away with your free hand.
“I…I guess I… I’m tired of trying to get everyone to like me….I’m tired of giving Vincent cookies when his own mother could make them, Pam hasn't actually said thank you for me FIXING HER bus, Haley always has something to say about my appearance and it feels like she really knows how to put a person down.” It was all coming out, what you wanted to say at the docs, what you wanted to say as you held Shane and calmed him down in his room, everything you wanted to scream out over the cliff into the ocean air…just came out.
“Farmer….I…I’m sorry…” Feeling Shane’s hand slide across your lap and grip your side, a calmness came over you, Shane saw you and you saw Shane, both of you at the bottom of a barrel with a shotgun pointed at you two. “Farmer…I think you should take me to the hospital now…” He groaned his face turning a slight green. “Oh fuck, yeah!” Helping Shane up and letting him throw an arm over your shoulder, leaning a bit on you, you both made your way, soaking wet and shivering, to Harvey's.
A split second you looked back at the ledge, who had talked who away from it, who pulled the other back to safety. Both of you, both had.
The next morning you woke up to someone at your door, and a panic had set in. It was Harvey coming to tell you Shane had finally drunk himself to death. Rushing to the door and opening it, you smiled seeing Shane standing there holding his arm where Harvey had IVed him, his eyes burning holes into his feet. “Shane…You're ok…” You said smiling softly. “Hey… Fuck…uh… How do I say this… I’m really sorry about what happened at the cliffs…. It was… embarrassing…” He said his eyes looking up to meet yours. “I’m glad I was there to help.” You said carefully reaching out to place your fingers on his hand. “...I’m glad you're here too…I…I mean…Ye-yeah, me too.” He said, blushing and laughing, looking around to save a bit of his dignity. “I… I’ve decided I want to see a therapist. Harvey got me in touch with a colleague of his…I…I'll tell you how it goes… I think… I think you should try it as well.”
He was looking right into your eyes as he said you should give it a try. “I… I know I'm a pot calling the kettle black….but…I…I really want you to stay…” Your cheeks lit up, this was the first time he said something like that. “Y…Yeah…I’ll give it a shot…” You said not leaving his gaze. “You know Shane… I just woke up… Do you want to stay, and help feed the chickens?” Seeing him smile wide was all the coffee you needed today. “That sounds like a great idea.”
#sdv farmer#sdv shane#sdv#shane x farmer#sdv fanfic#shane stardew valley#stardew valley#stardew#tw depressing stuff#kinda depressing#sdv shane x farmer#stardew valley shane#stardew shane#shane
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
Abandoned corridors of the heart
Pairing: Daryl Dixon x female!reader
Timing: Season 1
Chapter Summary: There are a few complications on Merle's rescue mission. Your group is forced to leave the camp as chaos erupts.
Warnings: swearing, mild language, blood, gore, character death
Autor's note: School's starting again in a week and I'm NOT ready. I'll have much less time to write :( so updates will proably take a few more days as soon as I have classes again, hope you can understand. Also, reader crying because of Daryl got my heart aching :( And the reader gets to see sb she thought she'd never see again ;)
Chapter 3: Everything changes
You're stronger than you think.
That's what your mother used to tell you whenever you needed to hear it - whenever something was putting you down. And right in this moment, you were trying so much to hold onto her words, an axe in your hands and a geek on the ground, a few men of the camp beating it up. Still, no matter how many punches they delieverd, it didn't die. You didn't exactly know how to help, but you did remember the moment you saved Daryl - he shot it right through the eye as soon as he'd been able to grab his crossbow. After that, it didn't move anymore, so you assumed the head was the important part.
You were just waiting for the right moment to interfere and when Rick hit the geek with a pitchork, the spikes piercing it's abdomen and forcing it to stay on the ground, you quickly pushed the other men out of the way, raising your arms high above your head before bringing them down with as much force as you could, cutting it's head off in a swift movement.
All of you were breathing heavily, drops of sweat running down your foreheads. Rick looked at you and nodded, saying thank you for your help. You nodded back and drooped the axe right next to the bodyless head, blood leaking from the open throat.
"That's the first one we had up here," Dale spoke after a few heavy seconds of silence, "They usually don't come that far up the hill."
"Maybe because the cities are getting empty," you decided to speak your mind, "I mean as far as we know, they bite humans - we're their food - they're searching for more," your eyes trailed to the poor deer laying on the ground, it's neck wide open and chewed up. Your heart ached for the animal, which had to give his life for no reason at all.
You jumped when you heard more rustling from the woods, grabbing Rick's arm - since he was closest to you - and hiding behind him. He turned his head to you and raised an eyerbrow, making you lower your head in embarrassment.
Shane raised his gun instantly, pointing it at the forest and waiting for the creature to show itself. You grabbed Rick's arm a bit harder when the rustling got closer as you held your breath, body tensing. You relaxed though, when you realised who it was.
Daryl stopped in his tracks, looking at the gun in shock before his eyes trailed to the dead deer on the ground, geek laying next to the animal. His shock turned into anger, "Son of a bitch," he walked closer, "That's mah deer. Been trackin' it fo' miles."
The geek's head started to move again, making you cringe and Daryl scoff, "Don' ya know anythin’, people? Gotta be the brain," he lifted his crossbow and just like the first time you'd met him, he shot an arrow right through the eye.
Your group decided to leave the deer for safety reasons since nobody knew if it was still edible after it got bit. And you really couldn't say you were disappointed about the news, you probably wouldn't have eaten it anyway - your guilty conscience way too big. Though, the squirrel Daryl brought back with him wouldn't be any better.
But before you went back to the camp, there was one thing you desperately wanted to do; bury the deer. You wanted to give the poor animal at least a little bit of peace. So, you begged Shane - since he was always the one to make desicions - to help you. And after a few minutes he actually agreed, shoveling a grave before laying the deer inside.
After you were satisfied, you made your way back inside the camp, Shane following behind you. And the first thing you saw was Rick arguing with Daryl, and you could only imagine what the argument was about.
Daryl was rubbing his forehead, his eyes narrowing in anger as you and Shane walked closer. It probably wsn't the smartest idea to interfere in what was happening but you were curious and you did want to know how Daryl would take the news about his brother.
"Hold on, lemme process this," Daryl turned away from Rick, rubbing over his eyes with his elbow - and you thought he looked close to crying by the way his face twisted up for only a second before he turned to face Rick again, "Ya sayin' ya cuffed mah brother to a roof," his voice raised in volume, practically screaming, "And ya fuckin' left 'im there?"
Rick put his hands on his hips - a move he seemed to be doing a lot, you noticed - and nodded, "Yeah," unlike Daryl's, his voice was calm.
A 'pfft' left Daryl's lips and he pursed his lips, pressing them together and trying to supress his upcoming rage. It didn't seem to work though as he grabbed the rope hanging on his left shoulder and threw the squirrel he'd caught into Rick's direction.
The situation escalated even more when Daryl pulled his knife out of the holster he had on his left hip, swinging his arm around widly, trying to hit Rick with the weapon. Luckily, Shane was able to put Daryl down before he actually got to hurt anyone.
Soon after, they decided to go back and get Merle and for some weird reason Shane decided to send you with them. He came up to you while the boys were preparing the truck, you about to go back into your tent when he spoke to you, "Think you should go with them."
You turned around and your mouth opened in shock when you realised he meant you. You. "Wha- why me?"
Honestly, the last thing you wanted to do was to go outside the camp because, really, you didn't have a death wish. Moreover, you had close to no experience killing geeks and the others having to look out for you constantly would just slow them down.
Shane shrugged, his left eye twitching a little, "You were doing a good job earlier, you know, helping us with the geek."
You shook your head quickly, a confused chuckle escaping your lips, "Shane, I had no idea what I was doing," you pulled the hair tie Lori had given you only a few hours ago off your wrist and put your hair up into a ponytail, "Really, I'd be more of a problem rather than help."
You tried to talk your way out of it but by the way he was looking at you, you knew there was no chance of you staying at the camp, "You're going," he walked away and continued talking with his back to you, "I'm sure it'll be okay."
And then he was gone. And you were left standing there, your eyes trailing after him until he disappeared from your sight and if looks could kill, he'd have died on the spot. His words didn't make any sense to you.
You've done great.
You surely hadn't done great. You had a conjecture and acted on it, basically trying your luck without knowing how it would go. And it's not like you actually killed the geek - Daryl did.
I'm sure it'll be okay.
You wondered how he could even say that after the situation which had happened just a day ago. The last group to leave the camp was faced with death and almost didn't make it back - and you were sure they were far more experienced than you. You were also sure about one more thing; you really didn't like Shane.
You were standing beside the truck when you had prepared yourself to go - and with prepared you meant getting a knife from Dale. You were still hoping someone would come and safe you from having to go since you were sure the four men would be fine without you, and there really wasn't any reason for you to go. Again, you questioned Shane's intentions.
"Oh," you lifted your head at Glenn's suprised voice, Daryl standing next to him, making you even more nervous. The absurdity of the situation wouldn't allow you to give the young man a smile. You. Going on a rescue mission to safe the brother of a man who acted like he despised you.
"Yeah," you muttured, nodding your head.
Glenn seemed to realise you didn't really like the idea of going with them - and he could understand, of course - so he didn't answer anymore, just nodded and gave you a reassuring smile as he opened the back doors of the truck to let you inside.
The ride was awkward. Glenn was driving the truck, Rick siting next to him in the passenger seat. Daryl and T-Dog were in the back with you, each one of you sitting in a different corner. None of you said a word.
It didn't take long before the vehicle stopped - the brake squeaking - and Glenn turned around to face the three of you, "We'll walk from here."
Daryl was the first to stand up and jump outside while you and T-Dog started at each other before he slowly stood up as well. You allowed yourself a few more seconds to take a few deep breaths, rubbing your thighs with your shaking hands as Glenn reached out his hand in order to help you out. And, honestly, Glenn was about to become your favorite person and, hopefully, a good friend over time.
The walk was short and only took a few more minutes until you were standing in front of a large building, the sun blending you when you looked into the sky to see the roof as best as you could. You just wanted to get Merle as fast as possible so y'all would be able to go 'home'.
But to everyone's suprise, the roof was empty, only a bloody and cold hand was left behind.
You covered your mouth as your eyes widened and a gasp left you, staring at the limb before you looked at the redneck when he started to scream for his brother. And you were almost scared he would attract geeks with how loud he was being.
Your group followed the trail of blood in hopes of finding him somewhere inside the building. But it didn't change anything.
Merle was gone.
"I lost my police bag when Glenn saved me," Rick said as he stopped Daryl from searching for his brother on his own, "We can go and get it. It's full of weapons - guns, lots of guns - and then we can look for him together."
Daryl stepped away from Rick's touch and thought about the spoken words before he gave a curt nod, "We can do tha'."
And so it was decided. Your group made a plan how to get the police bag first and for that plan to work, you had to be in pairs. And, of course, just your luck, you were paired with Daryl. While Glenn would be the one to run and get the bag, Rick and T-Dog would wait around a corner while you and Daryl would wait around another corner to be able to help Glenn if anything went wrong.
And, oh, a lot of things went wrong.
Before you could react, there was a boy standing in front of you, screaming in a language you couldn't understand - but you assumed it sounded like spanish. Daryl raised his crossbow but before he could do anything, two older men came running towards the three of you, pushing Daryl to the ground and giving him a kick in his side.
Right in that moment, Glenn returned with the bag and a hat in his hands, looking at Daryl before his eyes trailed to you. His expression matched yours; mouth opened wide just as well as your eyes.
You ran to get Daryl's crossbow, which was laying a few meters away from him, as soon as the men's attention was on Glenn, sprinting over to him. It was heavier than you thought and your arms burned a bit when you picked it up and gave it to Daryl, who managed to shoot an arrow into one man's ass.
The next thing you knew, you were picked up and thrown over a shoulder before you got pushed inside a car, Glenn right after you.
"Daryl!" you screamed a few times until the car started moving and there was nothing the redneck could do to safe you. The car was small, you and Glenn sitting shoulder to shoulder, so he could feel your shaking body right next to him.
"We're gonna be all right," he whispered but it did little to calm you. And you loathed Shane for forcing you to go on that stupid mission, all you had done was give Daryl his crossbow, so why were you even there?
It took at least an hour until your kidnappers reached their destination. One of the men opened your door and grabbed your arm, pulling you out and leading you and Glenn inside what looked like a hospital.
"Ese," there was a light voice calling and the man behind you turned around, looking at the source of the noise, "What?" the unknown man lifted his arms, pointing them in your direction and having a look of utter confusion on his face, "Who are they?"
You lowered your head as the two of them started to discuss about you and Glenn, rocking back and forth on your feet. You were scared of them and what they would or could do to you. Nobody would be there to help.
"I said grab the bag, not bring two strangers with you!"
The voice pulled you out of your thoughts and only a few seconds later were you led further down the white corridors. And the sight you were met with almost eased your fear just the tiniest bit. Old people. A lot of old people. They were sitting in their chairs, just enjoying their time and it almost looked like a retirement home.
"You can just sit down if you want," the unknown man said, pointing at a few empty chairs. You and Glenn looked at each other and you raised your eyebrows as if to ask him what he thought, him responding with a little shrug and a nod. So, the both of you walked over in small steps and sat down.
That was pretty much how you spent the next few hours, just sitting there and watching the old people talk, occasionally standing up to change position or help somebody. At some point, you were brave enough to start talking to Glenn, not being all too scared anymore.
It was pretty late already, the sun starting to go down when the man from earlier walked in again but this time with a familiar face.
Rick.
You nudged Glenn with your shoulder as soon as you saw the member of the camp, nodding into his direction so that Glenn could see him as well. Daryl and T-Dog followed soon after, looking around skeptically.
"I thought you two were bein' eaten by dogs," T-Dog said when he saw you and Glenn walking towards them. And you almost laughed when the korean man raised an eyebrow and turned around, looking at the three tiny chihuahuas as they started barking as if they could understand our words.
You and your group got pulled into another room to talk about the situation without the seniors having to hear.
The unknown man - what seemed to be the leader of that hospital - explained their story. They didn't mean any harm, didn't even plan on meeting other people on their way to get the weapons. They were just as scared as you were.
Rick decided to give them a few of the guns and ammo we had inside the bag, showing his understanding. Still, he kept most of the weapons to himself and saved them for the camp. After the conversation, your group could go 'home'. The leader of the Vatos - that's how they called their group - said a big 'thank you' before he led y'all out.
But, of course, the relief you felt didn't last very long. Because when you and your people walked outside, the truck Rick and the other two had came with was gone.
"The hell is the truck?" Daryl asked at the same time Glenn spoke, "Who'd take it?"
"Merle," Rick pursed his lips as he seemed to realise Merle wouldn't want anything positive for the people who had left him behind - even if it was by accident. And if he found his way back to the camp, nothing good would happen.
And since y'all didn't have any other options, the streets being empty and no other car in sight, you started jogging towards the camp, trying to be there as soon as possible to prevent anything negative from happening.
You didn't think it'd be that bad.
The five of you could hear the screams from a distance and you could feel your heart sink once you knew they were coming from your camp. At first, you thought Merle was the reason for the loud noises, you didn't expect to see the entire - once peaceful - camp filled with geeks.
All you could hear was the screams of the people living here and the loud gunshots as they tried to defend themselves. It was dark by then but, still, you could see a lot of blood on the ground, coming from the people who had got bitten already.
You thought about running away, somewhere safer than there, but everything you had on your mind left you at once when you looked into an all too familiar face. It wasn't as beautiful as it once was, the skin being a light shade of gray and the teeth hanging out in an unnatrual way.
You took a step forward, almost as if you were in a trance, but jumped when another gunshot sounded and the face you couldn't seem to stop looking at fell backwards, blood spraying from the bullet wound.
"No!" you screamed, the tears that had been welling up in your eyes finally rolling down your cheeks. Your body reacted before your mind could as you got on your knees and crawled over to the body on the ground.
The others killed the rest of the geeks as you sat on your knees, practically sobbing at this point, tears blurring your vision, "Mom," you whispered shakily, touching her hair carefully.
You didn't even realise how quiet it got as your screams echoed around the woods, holding your mother's cold hand tightly. You didn't think you'd ever get to see her again and you were just trying to accept that, but seeing her like this put you at least three steps back.
Please don't leave me, I need you, you thought, your eyes wandering around the group for the first time since your parent got shot. And only then did you realise you weren't the only one crying. Amy - the girl you had tried to comfort just a day ago - was lying on the ground, her neck wide open and bood all over her. It was obvious that she got bit.
How ironic. Amy had been so worried about Andrea's well being, scared they'd get seperated way too soon and now it was the other sister laying motionless on the ground.
The sight made you cry even more. So many lives. And they got taken away as if they didn't matter at all. The others were darting their eyes back and forth, looking at you and then at Andrea.
You looked back down at your mother, your tears wet her white and dirty shirt. Your story wasn't supposed to end yet, you wanted a happier ending for her.
You sat like that for the rest of the night, the sun raising after a few hours and you thought the worst part was sitting there the next morning, realising she was gone for good. That morning, you felt physical pain for the first time - a deep ache consuming your whole body but mostly your heart - without actually being hurt.
Daryl came over to you after some time, sitting on his heels next you and your body tensed uncomfortably.
"We gotta-" he started to talk but you didn't even let him finish his sentence.
"Stop," you spoke curtly, shaking your head at whatever he had to say, "I wanna bury her," you waited for a response but when you got none you allowed yourself to look at him. His eyes weren't as hard and cold as they usually were - still distant but not cold. Maybe because he could actually understand you considering the current situation involving his brother.
He nodded softly and stood up, grabbing your mother by her shoulders, making you tense up even more, "Hey, hey! What are you doing?"
He stopped his actions, looking at you again, "Help ya dig a grave."
You stared at him for a few more seconds before you eventually decided you could use the help, so you let him continue, "Okay," you whispered.
And it was all going okay until Shane thought he had to tell his opinion even though nobody asked for it, "Hey," he called, walking over to you and Daryl, already beginning to shovel the grave up again, "We don't bury geeks. She wasn't one of us."
Daryl scoffed at him, his eyebrows furrowing into a glare as he stopped shoveling, "Ain't yer business."
Shane shook his head and licked his lips, "Sure is," he tilted his head a bit to look at you still working to close the grave, "We don't bury them."
You shut your ears after that, focusing on your task since you really couldn't care less about Shane in that moment. And you honestly couldn't even explain how much you hated him. The argument between Daryl and Shane got more heated and at some point it just kind of escalated.
"Hell with y'all," Daryl exclaimed, waving around with his arms, "Ya had this comin'," he pointed at your mother's grave with one hand before slowly gesturing to the other bodies as well.
And this got your attention.
You had this coming.
How dare he say these words? Innocent people died. And he has the audacity to act as if they deserved it? And point at your mother - the mother you'd just lost a few hours ago - while doing so? His words hurt and they cut deeper than a knife ever could. Did she deserve to die? Did you deserve to see her like this?
Too many questions you didn't know an answer for, but you did know one thing; You didn't want to see Daryl anymore.
"Go," you suddenly spoke up, "Both of you, I can do this alone," your voice cracked towards the end, your face twisting up in pain, showing how much Drayl's words actually affected you.
The redneck started talking again, seemingly realising his hurtful words, but you didn't let him finish, raising your voice instead and telling him to fuck off. Both men left eventually, leaving you alone to do your work.
Only a few hours later did your group decide to leave the camp behind in order to find help for Jim since he got bitten. So you packed your stuff just as well as the rest of the group to head to the CDC - hoping to get a cure and save Jim.
You said goodbye to your mother before you left, sitting at her grave for some time before eventually moving towards the van. You were hoping your group would be able to come back as soon as Jim got the help he needed.
You didn't think about a lot of things when the van started moving, but in the end you realised something.
Everyone leaves at some point.
Tag list:
@goth-cowgirl-03 @paintlavillered @hotgirlsshareaccounts @tiedyedghoulette @alialiclouds
#daryl dixon#daryl dixon x you#daryl dixon x reader#daryl dixon twd#daryl dixon fanfiction#daryl dixon smut#daryl twd#the walking dead#the walking dead fanfiction#merle dixon#rick grimes#lori grimes#carl grimes#shane walsh#carol twd
141 notes
·
View notes
Text
Desert Rose
Chapter 11 ~ The Farm
✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose
✧ Era : Season 2
✧ Word Count : 3.3k
In this chapter ~ When Rose gets shot in the stomach by a complete stranger in the forest, he becomes frantic as he pieced together what he had done. In an act of guilt and sorrow, he leads the few men back to an older white farmhouse, where they meet a few new faces who could hopefully save her life as it continued to slowly slip away.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ THIRD PERSON POV *~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The minute Rose fell to the ground, everyone quickly began to panic. It all happened so fast Rick didn't even know what happened upon first glance, until he saw a man with a shotgun coming out of the bushes looking frantic and fearful all at once as he stared at them with widened eyes.
Without missing a beat Rick rushed over to her and got down to her level seeing she was unconscious, blood gushing out of somewhere near her stomach and he immediately put pressure on the wound. Carl stood frozen in place as he cried, calling her name hoping she would wake up. But she didn't. She laid perfectly still, so still they even questioned for a moment if she was even alive.
Shane's eyes panned from her body, to the man still hovering by the trees, making his way over towards the stranger in a split second, "What the hell was that?! What the hell?! You just shot her!" he yelled.
"I- I'm so sorry!" the man stuttered, "I was trying to shoot the deer, I didn't even see her until it was too late and just-" he stopped himself and thought for a moment, breathless and panicked. "We have a house not far from here, there's people there that can help your girl."
Upon hearing this, Rick wasted no time picking Rose up and following the man through the forest, with Shane and Carl running close behind. With the adrenaline flowing through his veins, it felt as if she weighed nothing in his arms as he pushed himself to run as fast as he could. He almost didn't even feel the way his lungs burned and her blood now soaking through his clothes. He could've sworn he could feel her heartbeat right by his chest, slowing down drastically with each passing second. Even if he pushed himself to run faster, it still didn't feel fast enough.
It seemed like they were running for days before a large white farmhouse started to come into view. The man could hardly keep up with them at this point and started slowing down, but Rick kept moving, pushing himself to the limits as he heaved.
"When you get there, talk to Hershel! I'm so sorry!" the man yelled from behind them, knowing he couldn't move as fast as they wished, watching them all take off in front of him.
Cutting through the large fields, nearly tripping over his own feet a handful of times, Rick finally made it close enough to the house where he caught a glimpse of a few people who watched them from the porch. It looked to be an older man with white hair, a younger girl with short brown hair and green eyes, and a woman with blonde curly hair wearing a long white apron. All three of them watching in anticipation as the strangers approached quickly.
Rick breathed a sigh of relief once he hit the porch steps, "Was she bit?" the man asked him with furrowed brows.
"Shot by your man." Rick replied with bitterness, slightly out of breath.
"Otis?" the blonde woman asked with wide eyes.
But Rick only ignored her as he adjusted Rose in his grasp, "He said to find Hershel, is- is that you? Please help me- help my friend." he pleaded.
"Bring her inside!" the old man instructed, and everyone followed behind quickly inside the house, "Patricia, I need my full kit. Maggie-"
"Yeah?" the young girl asked.
"Grab everything. Clean towels, sheets, alcohol. In here." Hershel directed as he pointed towards a room next to the staircase.
Rick hurried over and set her down gently on the bed, this time really getting a better look at her than he did before. All of the color was drained from her face and there was blood all over her, pooling around her stomach as she continued to bleed out.
His eyes then traveled down to his hands and finally noticed how much was on him as well, staining his skin along with his entire shirt. He seemed almost lost in his own world until he heard heavy footsteps coming through the door, looking in time to see Shane and Carl in the threshold. Carl was still left tearful as he looked past his father and towards the bed she laid on, while Shane was just rendered speechless.
"Is- is she alive?" Rick asked the older man, trying to ignore the ringing in his ears.
Hershel ignored him, "Hand me the pillowcase, quick!"
Rick hesitantly followed the man's instructions, glancing between the material in his hands and the man working frantically, "Is she alive?" he asked more urgently.
He ignored him again, "Fold it, make a pad. Put pressure on the wound." he instructed before pulling out a stethoscope and holding it up to her chest for a few seconds as he listened, "I've got a heartbeat but it's faint." he informed.
Patricia then pushed past everyone as she entered the room, "I got it, step back." she spoke gently as she maneuvered around them.
Rick did as he was told and stepped away slightly, never taking his eyes off of her. He only prayed that she would be okay, that she would somehow push through this unexpected turn. He didn't want to lose anyone else, as the guilt of everything was starting to build beyond control, weighing him down even further enough to feel like he was drowning.
"What's your name?" Hershel suddenly asked him.
"Uh- Rick I'm Rick." he muttered before looking over to his son and his best friend still standing in the doorway, "And this is Shane and my son Carl." he finished.
"Alright, we're going to do everything we can, okay? For now, you need to give us some space." he advised.
Rick nodded slowly and backtracked out of the room, making his way out onto the porch, overthinking everything that just happened too quickly. This was the first time he felt like he was able to breathe since everything unleashed, now knowing that she was getting help she needed. He then saw Otis coming up towards the house, his shotgun hung loosely in his grip and his breathing heavy.
"Is she alive?" he asked frantically.
Rick just nodded his head and Otis made a beeline inside the house; the same time Shane trailed back out. Rick wiped the sweat from his forehead, realizing only seconds later that he was still coated with her blood.
"You got blood man." Shane said, trying to wipe the metallic liquid off of his friend's forehead, knowing the guilty look he had in his eye before he even uttered a word.
Rick shook his head, "It's all my fault." he muttered to himself.
"Hey no, no, don't think like that okay?" Shane tried to argue, "This was all just a giant accident."
"I'm the one who asked her to come with, she wouldn't be in there if- if-"
"It ain't your fault." Shane interrupted sternly.
Before Rick even had a chance to argue further, Hershel came outside rather quickly, "Do either of you know her blood type?"
Rick and Shane just stood there blankly, not knowing what to say. Neither of them had known her long enough to know her favorite song, let alone her blood type. Hershel took their silence as a no, frowning as he tried to think of another solution.
"Do you have anyone else? A group?" he asked as both men nodded their heads urgently, "Do you know if any of them are a universal donor?" Hershel asked.
"Man, no we don't know! We're too busy out there trying to survive to know what everyone's blood type is." Shane was quick to snap.
"No, no, we do have someone, my wife Lori...she's O negative." Rick informed shakily.
"Where is she?" Hershel asked immediately.
"They're uh...around somewhere in the woods by the nearest highway, they could be anywhere at this point." Rick stated.
"Alright we need to get her here, and fast." Hershel said before rushing back inside the house.
Rick and Shane both followed slowly behind the man, heading back into the room to see him checking her pulse again, while Patricia was setting up an IV for her. Carl was just on the other side of the bed, holding her hand as he gazed at her face. Rick's heart somehow broke further upon seeing this, noticing how much this was effecting his son.
"Is she going to be okay?" Carl asked nervously.
"Hopefully, yes." Hershel responded.
He then turned back to the two men and explained that the deer had slowed the bullet down drastically, saving her life. But the bullet broke up into many pieces inside her and he needed to get them out as soon as possible, otherwise she could suffer from severe blood poisoning. He counted six fragments that he needed to remove, but he didn't trust himself to do it unless she had a blood transfusion and the right equipment.
Hearing all of this, all at once, Rick could only think about saving her, knowing they would both do just about anything they could to keep her breathing. They just needed to get Lori back here. And soon.
Miles away in the forest, Daryl was leading the smaller group who were still looking for Sophia, but so far they haven't found a single thing. He was getting tired from being out in the harsh sun all day, tired of hearing the others whine and complain, and though he wouldn't admit it out loud, he missed having Rose here with the rest. He wasn't happy to see her go along with Rick and Shane, but they did have a good reason to take her. Her tracking skills were impressive.
"Are you still worrying about it?" Andrea suddenly asked Lori.
The woman only sighed, "It was a gunshot." she responded as she turned around to look back in the direction it came from for about the fiftieth time.
Oh yeah, that. Daryl had to admit he too was a little worried ever since they heard it so suddenly from just a few miles away. But he tried not to think about it too much, otherwise that would cause the others to panic more, and what they needed to do was keep moving.
"We all heard it." Daryl responded with a roll of his eyes.
"Why one, why just one gunshot?" Lori asked.
Daryl's eyes widened in annoyance, "I dunno, maybe they took down a walker."
"Please don't patronize me. You know Rick wouldn't risk a bullet to put down one walker and neither would Rose, they would do it quietly." Lori snapped.
His heart dropped when hearing the mention of her name. He had to admit Lori was right, they weren't stupid. But he couldn't do anything about it when he was leading half the group back towards the highway.
He told himself that if they didn't meet back with them soon, he would go off and look for her. Wait no, them... look for them.
"I'm sure they'll hook up with us back at the RV." Andrea reassured Lori.
And with that they all kept moving, trying not to think about the sound that left a ringing in their ears, and worry in their hearts.
Back at the farmhouse the realization of the situation set in for Rick and he started blaming himself even more than he was before if that were possible. He ranted to Shane about how he never should've let her come with, even if they needed her useful skills she should've stayed behind with Daryl and helped him instead.
He didn't want her to die, he couldn't let her die. He felt so torn up about everything. From the CDC, to losing Sophia, to now potentially losing Rose. It was all too much.
But their words were cut off by an ear-piercing scream coming from the bedroom she was staying in, causing them both to freeze. With the way it sounded, someone could easily mistake her cries as if someone was torturing her, causing everything else around them to be still for a moment.
Both men quickly jumped up to their feet and ran into the room to see Rose screaming and thrashing around on the bed, with tears running down her face.
"I'm getting one of the pieces out." Hershel informed the men that just entered the room.
Carl was still holding her hand tightly as she pushed through, though beginning to cry all over again seeing her in so much excruciating pain. Her screams were deafening, almost making the rest of them feel her pain too.
She then began squirming around too much, unable to take the burning sensation and Hershel called Rick over to help hold her down, the man hesitating momentarily before rushing over to her side. Carl stepped out of the way quickly so he could get to her, standing off to the side as he couldn't pull his wide eyes away. But Shane forcefully turned him around, getting down to his level to command him not to watch any further.
Rick started holding her down in place by her shoulders as she continued to cry, ducking his head down as he could no longer look at her like this. He couldn't take it anymore.
"What the fuck are you doing to me?!" she managed to get out through screams.
Rick shook his head aggressively in frustration, "Stop! Stop- you're killing her!" he yelled.
"Rick, do you want her to live?!" Hershel yelled back, still trying to get the piece out of her with one of his tools.
Rick just stayed silent as he watched the man fish out the piece from her body, hoping that it would be over with soon. Her body then seemed to not be able to endure it any longer as she passed out cold again, while Hershel finished picking out one of the fragments.
"One down, five to go," the man breathed, "She'll need more blood soon, we need to get your wife here as soon as possible."
Rick nodded his head absentmindedly as he racked his brain to figure out how to get to them. Walking would take too long and she needed to get here fast.
"I'll take a horse and go get her." Maggie said as she entered the room, "Just tell me where they are."
Rick nodded in appreciation before telling her where they last saw them, and she quickly left in a flash after that to head to the stables. Hershel then began talking about how he needed to perform surgery to get the rest of the fragments out of her. He needed more medical supplies that he didn't currently have, and without them she may not live through this.
Otis seemed to quickly step up and volunteered to go out and get anything he needed from a high school nearby that hadn't been overrun yet. As they talked about it further, Shane stepped up as well and offered to go with him so he didn't have to handle all of this on his own.
"We should thank you." Rick said to Otis.
"Wait until she's up and moving, then we'll talk," he said with a small smile, "I'll gather some things."
The man then loaded up a truck with everything they would need to head off the land and into town. Knowing that they would probably run into some walkers, he gathered plenty of weapons into the back, Shane helping him as he did so before saying their goodbyes and rushing through the metal gates.
Rick watched the two men drive off until he couldn't see them anymore from where he stood on the porch. He slowly sat down on the steps with one of his legs shaking anxiously, waiting for his wife and Maggie to come back as quick as they could. He almost couldn't help himself as he turned around every few seconds to look in the window, glancing back in the room that Rose was staying in and saw his son right by her side.
It warmed his heart to see Carl caring so much for her, as he held her hand again from the right side of her bed. Rick knew that she looked out for him more times than she needed to, and he was very grateful for that.
As Carl sat in her room watching over her, all he could do was hope. He felt so terrible that she got shot just inches away from where he was, practically taking the hit for the both of them.
He liked Rose a lot, noticing how she was always checking in on him and he loved having her around. In a way, she was like the cool aunt that he never had, and the last thing he wanted was to lose her too.
"How much farther?" Lori asked.
"Not much...maybe a hundred yards as the crow flies." Daryl responded as he glanced back at her from the front of the line they created.
Andrea huffed, "Too bad we're not crows." she said bitterly as she trudged through the tall grass.
But only seconds seemed to pass before the woman yelped in slight panic of the weight suddenly crashing down on her.
Everyone turned back on instinct to see a walker had somehow landed on top of her, with her struggling to keep its face away from her underneath it. Glenn rushed over towards towards the scene in an instant, taking out his weapon with the intention to crack it down on the walkers' head, but then heard a sound that made him stop completely.
He turned to look just in time to see a horse coming directly towards them, the woman riding on the back taking a baseball bat in her grasp and smacking the walker off of Andrea before it had the chance to bite her.
The woman then circled back as quickly as she arrived, glancing at every member of the group somewhat frantically, "Lori? Lori Grimes?" she asked.
"I'm Lori." Lori replied slightly confused.
"There's been an accident, your blood type is O negative right?" the woman asked.
She nodded slowly, "Yes, O negative that's right. What's going on?"
"Rose was shot and she needs a blood transfusion, you need to come with me quickly." the woman said vaguely.
That sentence made everyone freeze right where they were standing. It didn't take a genius to tell that all of these people had grown to care for the girl and were now frantic to hear this news about her, and genuinely confused as to how the hell it happened.
Glenn stood there with wide eyes as he received the news about one of his closest friends. His mind quickly began to spiral, thinking about a thousand different things, but he picked his jaw up off the floor and pulled himself together fast. She was still okay; she was going to be just fine.
Daryl on the other hand wasn't thinking nearly as clearly as his blood seemed to run cold. The gunshot... it all made sense now. He needed to get to her. He needed to be there for her. The one time he wasn't, she got so seriously hurt that her life was now in danger. He couldn't help but kick himself for letting her go to begin with, but then stopped his mind all together when he realized something. Shit, he really liked her. He liked her so much that all he was able to think about now was the fastest way to get to her.
Lori didn't ask any other questions after the brief explanation. As far as she knew she was the only universal donor in the group. She quickly took her backpack off, leaving it on the floor as she climbed on top of the horse a bit clumsily as she hurried.
"Woah, we don't know this girl! How do you know she's telling the truth?" Andrea asked.
"How could she be lying?! She knows Rose's name!" Glenn snapped.
Daryl then shook his head slowly, "Wait, wait, I gotta go too." he said.
The woman only paused momentarily, helping Lori up onto the back before shaking her head, "No, I'm sorry I can only take one person, and she needs blood it has to be her." she responded.
"No, no, no there's gotta be a way I can come with ya."
"I'm sorry, there's no room. Once you get back to the highway, backtrack to Fairburn Road. Two miles down is our farm, you'll see the mailbox, the name is Greene." she said.
But Daryl went to protest again, "I don't have time to argue!" she yelled at him before he could utter another word, and then kicked the horse with her heel, racing back towards the farm.
Daryl stood there rigid, processing the fact that the woman just screamed in his face, but also the fact that he couldn't go along with them. But his attention was drawn back towards the walker that the woman took down, slowly rising back up again to face them. "Shut up." he snapped as he shot a bolt through its head.
He then turned whipped back around to everyone else, "Come on, we gotta get back to that highway, let's move!" he yelled as he swiped the bolt from the walkers head before taking off.
He knew as soon as the group was back on the highway, safe, he would take his motorcycle and race towards the farm as fast as he could.
The group wasted no time jogging to keep up with Daryl through the woods, seeing that he wasn't stopping for anyone. Although everyone was still blown away at everything that they were just told, Daryl's concern for Rose obviously didn't go unnoticed.
~ Thanks for reading!
#daryl dixon#daryl dixon x oc#daryl dixon fanfiction#daryl dixon the walking dead#daryl dixon twd#twd daryl dixon#the walking dead#twd#twd fanfiction#twd daryl#the walking dead fanfiction#the walking dead daryl#norman reedus#norman reedus fanfiction#norman reedus x reader#desert rose#daryl dixon x reader#daryl fanfiction#daryl dixon x female reader#daryl x reader
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
Pt.5 of 12 to 20 Heart Stardew headcannon events! Shane!
It's been a bit! But~
Shane:
🍕 12 heart event: (this event only occurs when it is raining) You are heading home and run into Shane. It is raining Shane is surprised but happy to see you. He notices your clothes are really wet. He asks you if you're cold. (Nah, I'm good./ A little yeah, I didn't expect it to rain this much today.) If you choose the first option he invites you into Marnie's house and the two of drink sodas in the kitchen. If you choose the second option he gives you his jacket and invites you inside, and you two warm up in front of the fireplace.
🍕 14-heart event: Shane sends you a letter asking you to come over and look at the new chickens that have hatched. He tells you all about them, and then the conversation shifts to you and his relationship. He's honestly so happy to be in a relationship with you, he's not 100% sure why you'd want to date him but he's so glad you are.
🍕 16 heart event: you go to Marnie's and she is surprised but also happy to see you. She tells you that Shane is out by the lake he's been pretty depressed lately. (has he been drinking?/oh no, I thought he was taking his medication.) Either way, Marnie directs you to the lake outside. She's hoping a talk with you will make Shane feel better. You go out to the lake and see Shane sitting there by himself. Beer in hand but unopened. You approach him, surprising him. He drops the beer in the lake. He was hoping that you wouldn't see him like this. You sit down next to him. He says he'd been feeling so much better lately but today he just feels terrible. He thought he'd come out of the ditch he'd tried so hard to climb out of but he just feels like he climbed right back in. You two sit there for a while, quietly.
🍕 18 heart event: Shane shows up at your door. He says he has been feeling a lot better lately. He says he wants to do something with you. His therapist recommended he do something with the people he loves. He asks you what you'd like to do. (we could go see a movie/ we could play some video games.) either way, Shane agrees, saying that your suggestion is a good idea. If you go see the movie you meet Shane at the movie theatre, he gives you a ticket and you two head in and watch a movie, you both have a great time. You two leave the theatre and outside of the theatre, he kisses you.
If you choose videogames you meet Shane in his room. He's glad you're here and he didn't think you liked videogames that much. You two play games for a while getting closer together. He's kind of surprised at how good you are at this. He kind of gets determined to beat you at the game. The game ends in a tie, Shane is happy that you showed up and had a great time. Before you leave Shane gives you a kiss. He hopes you can come over again and play video games with him soon.
🐚 ~ Marriage~ 🐚
🍕 20-Heart Event: Same as Shane's normal 14-heart event at the saloon.
#stardew valley#stardew valley headcannons#stardew valley headcannon#headcannon#sdv#sdv headcannons#sdv headcannon#sdv shane#stardew valley shane#sdv batchelor#stardew#valley#sdv batchelor shane#stardew valley batchelor shane#shane headcannons#heart events#sdv heart events#part 5
26 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
mermaidscorner
Mermaids Corner
thechristianteller
The Christian Teller
teknomap
Crazy Nowhere Land
thechristianteller
The Christian Teller
rey-the-sith
"don't be afraid, I feel it too"