#it's like i handled a situation poorly because i didn't fully understand it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

booboodaddysblog · 3 days

Text

Let’s talk…

Warnings: none, just talking and healing hearts

Words: 1882

Marg was glad to be back at work. She sat down at her desk and started up her computer. She didn't know if Colin was already at work or not. She knew that they had planned to have lunch together today.... But in her mind she still had an unpleasant parting. Then she saw Colin at the bar and her heart broke into a million pieces again. He looked sad, drunk and lonely. She felt sorry for him. She wanted them to get along somehow, after all, in seven months she was due to give birth to a child that was his.

Suddenly she heard footsteps in the hallway. She looked toward the window. It was Colin. He stopped for a moment in front of her door. He looked at her and seemed to smile slightly. He walked into his office.

Colin had already been working for about an hour. He wasn't exactly feeling well. He had a hangover. His head hurt and every louder sound irritated him. But when he saw Marg and her smile. He felt better, or at least he thought he did.

He walked into his office and set his coffee mug on his desk. For a moment he wondered what he should do now. They had a lunch appointment, which he was honestly looking forward to. He looked at his watch. It was 10 a.m. The break is usually around 12.

- It would be useful to say hello - he thought aloud.

He went out into the hallway and knocked on Marg's door.

- Come in, Colin - she smiled and looked at him.

Marg looked at him in silence. Colin looked tired. His eyes were sad, she could see it from a distance, but they were shining nonetheless, he looked like he was slightly drunk. He hadn't shaved, his hair wasn't perfectly styled, as was his habit.

He also looked at her wondering what she was thinking about now. He furrowed his eyebrows, he still wasn't sure what he wanted to talk to her about. But since he had already made the effort to come to her office something had to be said...

- Hello, Marg.

- Hello, Colin.

Without taking his eyes off her, he sat down on one of the chairs.

- I... sorry to disturb you, but I just wanted to come here and talk to you a little... before we go to lunch, and… - he fell silent for a moment - is it okay?

For a while she looked at him and said nothing. She had doubts, but finally broke through.

- I thought we would only talk at lunch. But no problem, now we can too. What do you want to talk about? Have you rethought your behavior a bit?

Marg stared at him waiting for an answer.

He sighed, wondering how exactly to answer this question. He didn't want to lie to her, but he wanted to sound like someone who at least somewhat understood his mistakes.

- I thought about it a lot... and... and yes, I have come to the conclusion that I was completely wrong about all of this... about the whole situation... I really screwed everything up...

He hoped that what he just said sounded right. He had been putting it together in his head for a long time.

She nodded, listening to what he was saying.

- We both know you screwed up. You hurt me a lot, you know? Because of you, I sleep very poorly. And I think too much. It's not my style. I feel bad about all this. I really don't understand why you treated me this way.

She didn't look at him. She got up to pour herself some water. When she did she didn't sit back down at her desk, she looked out the window and slowly drank the water. She found it hard to look at Colin.

He closed his eyes. He felt bad to see her in such a state. She looked exhausted and as if she still hadn't come to terms with what he had done to her. He felt the urge to go up to her and hug her, but he knew he wasn't allowed to do that yet until things between them were fully cleared up.

- I'm really sorry, I really messed everything up and I just... I couldn't think of the right way to handle the situation... It was all a complete failure on my part and I regret everything I said...

She still did not turn to him. She only nodded her head.

- Yes, Colin... I really thought I could trust you. You promised me so much and assured me that you would take care of me... me and the baby. However, you did not keep your word. You just gave up.

Finally she turned and looked at him, she was sad.

He looked into her eyes, although with great effort. He understood that her anger and sadness were definitely justified. He had to face it, he wasn't going to lose her now.

- You're right, I didn't fulfill what I promised you... I made so many mistakes, I said things I really shouldn't have said... really...

- Answer me one question. Why are you drunk, Colin? You're at work... if the chief could found out about this... eh you're really lucky he has a week off now - she sat down at her desk again and looked at him with a disgruntled expression.

Now she saw right through him. He could not continue to deny that he was not drunk. It was obvious that he had been drinking. He felt a little ashamed, but was prepared for the consequences of what was about to happen.

- I had a drink this morning to calm myself down. I didn't even think about it, I just felt so anxious. I did it not intentionally - he lowered his gaze to his hands.

- How did you get to work? I hope you didn't go by car and someone gave you a ride?- she sighed looking at him - I'm really worried about you. Even though I’m still angry at you. You are someone important to me.

He raised his eyes to her. It seemed to him that she was sympathetic to his current state, which in turn meant that she might be more sympathetic when it came to his drinking... no rather not... it's time to stop...

- Yes... yes, I had a ride... I couldn't go here myself... I still manage to think soberly. I’m not that stupid.

- That's good. And did you have anything for breakfast, or was the only this drink… this was your meal?

- Well... I just had that drink... - he said with slight embarrassment.

He knew how awful it must have sounded to her, but he really didn't feel like eating. He was so stressed to the point that he didn't even have an appetite.

She raised her eyebrows and sighed loudly.

- And you claim that alcohol will help you be less stressed? Don't be ridiculous. Pull yourself together, please - she rolled her eyes.

He was beginning to feel terrible. Nothing was working out for him. He was definitely acting like a fool, which made everything worse and made Marg lose hope that he would be able to fix himself. He now knew that drinking really wouldn't fix any of his underlying problems. He had to think about it more deeply.

- I know I sound ridiculous now, but I just... - he covered his face with his hands.

- If you promise me that you will stop drinking, I will think about starting to work on our relationship. If you want I can sign you up for therapy. I can go with you sometimes to support you - she looked at him hopefully - do it for our child who will come into this world soon, please.

He uncovered his face and looked at her. He liked what he had just heard. But it also meant that he would have to recover, stop doing all this self-destructive behavior and focus on improving himself.

- I promise... I promise you that I will stop drinking.

It seemed to him that he said it in a confident voice, even though he wasn't quite sure of it himself. He had to keep the promise he gave her, because otherwise he would probably destroy everything between them before he could fix anything.

- Well, I hope you are telling the truth. I will look for a good therapist for you. Now go back to your office. I have some work to do. We'll go to lunch at 1pm, okay? - she got up to open the door for him.

- I understand... I'll go... I'll stop drinking...

Nodding with understanding, he got up from his chair. And with these words he left her office, heading back to his own office.

- Have a drink of water, Colin - she called out after him before closing the door.

He smiled at these words and, without turning around, waved his hand in confirmation. He decided to do it, he had to take a little more care of himself, he had to stop self-harming.

He walked into the kitchen and went over to the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water. He opened it and took a sip. The cool drink sobered him slightly. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply.

- What’s up, Zabel?

He didn't have to turn around. He knew who had asked the question.

- Mare, oh it's so nice to see you - he turned around and smiled artfully.

- Yes, it is me. What did you screw up this time that you look so hopeless? - she squinted - were you at the meeting with the psychologist yesterday? I hope so... but somehow I don't notice any visible change.

Colin rolled his eyes and looked at the ceiling.

- Mare... hmm... I really thank you for allowing me to go to this meeting... this lady messed with my head a bit. I don't know if she brightened anything for me. Rather... she forced me to help myself.

- And isn't that what a psychologist's job is to show you how to deal with problems yourself?

- I guess so...

- What did she say? Did she inspire you with something?

He was silent for a while, not knowing if it was worth talking about.

- She suggested that I should start writing down my thoughts in a notebook. Then I'm supposed to analyze them and draw conclusions. I don't know if anything will come of it.

- This is an interesting idea. She once told me about this method. I haven't tried this. I need to talk to her about it and ask if something like this would work for me - Mare also took water from the refrigerator.

- Do you have intrusive thoughts like me? - surprised Colin.

- Sometimes - she shrugged her shoulders - It's good that I don't "drown" into my thoughts like you do - she left the kitchen and left him alone.

He sighed loudly and went back to his office.

—————

To be continued…

@robnovetre

Promise

23 notes · View notes

sophsicle · 1 year

Note

Nah that James and Sirius kiss was 100% cheating 💀💀 even tho regulus said they’re not dating they are and you can’t just kiss someone else while dating someone even if you didn’t mean it romantically🤯 how is this any different then Remus and Sirius kissing while remus is dating Fabian? I think the only one here obsessed with cheating is you

it is sad to me

that this is how you think

but you are entitled to your opinion

#this is a pointless argument because we will never agree #but i think it is unfortunate #that affection has to be so limited #and that you are only allowed to love in very rigid ways #and boxes #also for the record i don't think remus cheated #i think its complicated #but i also don't think he had a whole lot of choice or control over that situation #and “cheating” implies a certain amount of idk decision making i think #remus doesn't do anything intentionally #he doesn't think what is happening with sirius is romantic because he doesn't think that's possible between them #it's only looking back on it #like he does in chapter 18 #that he realizes he was wrong #and he does accept that he was wrong #but that just isn't really cheating to me #it's like i handled a situation poorly because i didn't fully understand it #i think monogamy and control are often times confused #and that you shouldn't have to limit every other relationship in your life #obviously conversations need to be had #but #anyone who tells you you can't give your bff a lil kiss (which was LITERALLY described as platonic) when they are sad #is a dick in my opinion #soph rambles #kyd

105 notes · View notes

laughhardrunfastbekindsblog · 23 days

Text

Eventually I might write an entire thesis on all the ways Tech shows that he loves and cares deeply about his family; but for now, here's a slightly shorter essay focusing on how Tech dealt with Echo's departure in "The Crossing."

One of the main themes of this episode is how different people deal with loss/goodbyes, and this is illustrated particularly well by the contrast between Omega and Tech (Hunter and Wrecker are basically the middle ground). Omega, of course, is vocal about how much she misses Echo and initially misinterprets Tech's attitude as him "not caring" that "everything's changing," but it's precisely Tech's attitude and actions that show how much he DOES care.

Tech is fully aware of Echo's absence

Tech relays right away that Echo's comms are off - meaning he had to have been in contact with Echo (or at least tried to contact him) since their parting. He is also the first to propose that the assignments for the mission might need to be adjusted due to Echo's absence leaving them "one man down."

Tech compartmentalizes Echo's departure within the same framework as Crosshair's departure.

I'm inclined to believe he does this because this is how he's able to accept this specific type of change. Of course there are differences between the two - one of which being that Crosshair left on barely civil terms after making it clear he had a hard time accepting that the squad could have different life goals/opinions without being enemies, while Echo left on good terms and made it clear he'd return - but ultimately both brothers left because the pull to pursue a different objective was greater than the call to stay with the family. And while Tech later admits this "can be difficult to understand" - which is likely why he acts as he does at other points in the episode - he understands and respects their decisions at least well enough to know he needs to carry on.

Tech is extra tetchy with the others for most of the episode - and this is NOT typical for him.

Tech has always been dry and blunt, sometimes seemingly emotionless ("seemingly" being the operative word), and he's not shy in expressing his opinions; but rarely has he ever crossed the line into being rude and blatantly argumentative with his squadmates as he is here. For example: in "Aftermath," Wrecker and Tech have a brief exchange during the battle simulation where Tech points out that maybe Wrecker should learn the hand signals and Wrecker gets a touch defensive; but rather than the issue blowing up into a major disagreement, Tech translates the hand signals for Wrecker and they move on. In "The Crossing," however, Tech gets irritated that Wrecker didn't notice the Marauder being stolen, and he just won't let it go. He then gets a bit sharp with Omega when she presses the subject of Echo's departure, telling her "What is your issue?" (He might have inadvertently said borderline insensitive things before, like "Perhaps the situation is not as dire as described. Children often overreact"; but as far as we've seen he has never singled out Omega as the subject of these observations and has never been curt with her.)

Omega, of course, gets frustrated with Tech, primarily because she doesn't see Tech's behavior for what it is: an indication that Tech feels the loss just as much as she does, even if he doesn't express it the same way.

Tech accepts Hunter's and Wrecker's criticism that he has handled things poorly with Omega, and when she finally tells him exactly what is bothering her about his behavior, he takes the time to put his feelings into words

Tech has been more irritable than usual, but he still cares about his family enough to notice when he's gone too far, accept correction, and do his best to smooth things over. He doesn't quite seem to know at first how to approach the topic with Omega so things can be smoothed over; but when she opens up to him, he is silent for a long time as he ponders how best to explain himself to her, rather than brushing aside and avoiding what is obviously a difficult conversation for him but an important one for her.

And thus we get one of my top favorite scenes along with one of my top favorite quotes in the entire Star Wars franchise:

"Echo chose a different path, as did Crosshair. I have to respect their decision. Even though it can be difficult to understand, we must carry on. I may process moments and thoughts differently, but it does not mean that I feel any less than you."

#tbb #the bad batch #star wars #star wars the bad batch #tbb omega #tbb tech #tbb analysis #i literally cannot express how much i adore this episode #so instead i'm going to write a character analysis

76 notes · View notes

funnyburneracct · 5 months

Text

Hi, I'm Xiao/burningrqs. this post is going to be long. Posting this from a burner so that it doesn't go down the drain when we deactivate.

But essentially, this is an apology to the radqueer community for multiple different things. I'm going to do my best to type this out as well as possible, and I apologize if I miss anything or word things poorly. I am going to explain myself to the best of my abilities, but please keep in mind that my explanations do not excuse my actions by any means.

Post under the cut.

for those who don't want to read it though, TL;DR: I was a complete asshole and I'm genuinely very sorry about it.

So, I want to start off by apologizing in general for the "burning radqueers" thing. Not only was it just not funny, but it was also really weird. I know damn well that if I saw someone pop up with a "burningmogais" blog or something, I would be pissed. So I don't know what made me think that running burningradqueers was a good idea in any sense.

My rude and dehumanizing comments did not help. Regardless of how I view people, what disorders I have, or how symptoms present themselves, it was disgusting of me to act as though I can't be held accountable for my cruelty towards others.

The targeted posts were even worse, and allowing people to just pick a random blog to "burn" was teetering on harassment. It put the user in front of so many people who clearly did not have good intentions towards them, and inherently put the user being "burnt" in danger. I wish I noticed that fact sooner. Even if I disagreed with people or didn't like them for whatever reason, I still should not have felt as though I had the right to post stuff like that.

Adding onto that, I should have never used my ASPD as an excuse for anything. I tend to get defensive when I feel insulted, which is what happened, and I decided to bite back despite being in the wrong. I acted impulsively and out of pure anger, and then tried to defend it, which I shouldn't have. When saying the kinds of things I did, I am open to criticism whether I like that fact or not, and trying to act as though I am immune to that criticism because of a disorder was disgusting on my part.

Another thing, somewhat on a similar note, is that an apology is owed for my hostility in general. Every time it was even lightly suggested I was wrong, I seemed to lash out and get angry. This really just comes down to me needing to learn to admit my wrongs. I should not have made my inability to understand my wrongdoings anyone else's problem.

Then there's also the things I said when I lashed out before deciding to drop burningradqueers entirely. I don't fully remember all of what I said as the event happened during an episode (this does not excuse my words at all by the way. regardless of my state at the time, what I said wasn't okay and should not be excused) and the posts have since been deleted. But, I do remember at one point making harassment out to be a competition of sorts when someone was simply trying to calmly explain to my why the namedropping was not a good move. I can't for the life of me remember why I did that, but I am very sorry about it. A lot of people in the radqueer community have been harassed (and likely do still get harassed constantly), and for me to act like I am the only victim of harassment was wrong on multiple levels.

I'm sure there was a lot of bad stuff I said during that episode, but as I said, I do not remember most of it. I'm sorry that I can't apologize for the specific things I said, but I am apologizing for the situation as a whole.

The entire thing started over me not being able to handle much deserved criticism, and I stood "my ground" despite having absolutely no ground to stand on.

I started burningradqueers over baseless hatred. I didn't know why I was supposed to hate radqueers, or what I was even really hating. I joined the anti community thinking that it is much easier to just move with the pack and hate what everyone else seems to hate, but hatred really isn't that easy. It's exhausting. And realizing how much the anti community really wouldn't want me if I was honest about things made me realize that. Realizing that there are so many antis who would rather see us suffer forever due to dysphoria than see us live happily after getting amputations was rough, and honestly kinda gave me a taste of what radqueers have to deal with every single day, and it felt horrible.

Without realizing it, I managed to do so much damage to a community full of people who deal with exactly the same things I do, a community that is mostly traumatized and mentally ill people who are just trying to get by. Not even just that, but genuinely just people trying to exist and be honest about themselves.

It is not my place to dictate what is and isn't valid in terms of someone's personal identity, and even more, it's not okay for me to treat a whole community like garbage just because I didn't understand it.

Again, I do not want my actions to be excused. I treated people horribly and was a total dick, but I hope that me apologizing can at least make some of you feel better about how I behaved.

#pro rq 🌈🍓#rq 🌈🍓#rq community #rqc🌈🍓#radqueer #rq please interact #radqueers please interact #radqueer please interact

139 notes · View notes

bhaalble · 9 months

Text

Weeks of very repetitive Gale jokes have made me a very aggro defender but I do still very much think they needed a different way to handle his response to the player having developing relationships with other party members.

Here's my thing. Its not a writing flaw that he's monogamous, or at least set on a monogamous relationship after his experience with Mystra. Its not a writing flaw that his romance flags develop pretty rapidly; after years with a very emotionally unavailable goddess and with the high stress scenario they're in I think it is very understandable that he would latch onto someone who not only shows him positive attention but is helping him manage an extremely frightening condition. Its also not necessarily a writing flaw that he's kind of a manipulative dickhead if your relationship is progressing further with someone else.

It just needed to be more confidently engaged with as a flaw.

Because here's the thing the passive aggressive sadboy act is certainly not BENEATH Gale. He tends not to handle losing very well. He doesn't have much experience managing feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. He also just got out of an incredibly lopsided and uneven relationship where one of the things that continued to trouble him was feeling like a lower priority, like this person who was the center of his world saw him as just a nice accessory to hers. In light of all that I think its very understandable that he would lash out if he felt like the object of his affections was showing more preferential treatment to someone else, even if they were't properly in a relationshp yet. Its a self-defensive measure, not unlike Shadowheart writing you off for most of your early interactions or Astarion fully manipulating you with seduction during the first stages of your romance. Every companion is wrestling (and usually wrestling poorly) with the baggage of their previous situation and it will come heavily to bear on their relationship with Tav.

My primary issue is that outside of ending the relationship or an offhand comment about how you didn't know he felt this way (which leads to more of a pity party about how he just isnt enough for Tav) you aren't really able to push back on Gale's reasoning. You can sever the relationship, terminate the flirting stage, or you can just affirm him by choosing him. You can't really communicate hey. I care about you. Why are you speaking to me like I did this to hurt you on purpose. Even if he storms off in that conversation I think there very much was potential there to have some genuinely compelling character growth for Gale, with him confronting how many foundational issues there were in his dynamic with Mystra that he's unthinkingly putting on Tav. Tav would be given the opportunity to recognize where their partner is at and either draw a hard boundary, or extend a bit of grace depending on the feelings of that character and the player.

Again none of this required Gale to have a less shitty reaction to the scenario the point wouldn't be to scrub away conflict. Just to provide some additional opportunities to challenge your friend/LI and use it to develop both them and your PC

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios

133 notes · View notes

lunar-years · 8 months

Note

sometimes i think about how killing off james tartt sr. could have served jamie and ted’s relationship so much better than the redemption arc. like ted could have actually been there to support jamie in his grief and complicated feelings about his dad. it would be a situation where their Dad issues are actually similar for once, and Ted could give proper support and advice instead of running out and avoiding the issue of jamie’s father like usual. of course it makes sense for ted to have that reaction, and it was explored pretty well in s2 imo. and i’m a bit obsessed with how poorly ted deals with jamie and his struggles because it’s so interesting to watch him fail jamie, almost every single time throughout the show. there just seemed like so much wasted screentime in s3, and idk, if they had organized and fleshed out certain plot points i would’ve loved to see how ted could help jamie with the aftermath of james tartt sr’s death.

"it's so interesting to watching him fail jamie, almost every single time throughout the show" i very much agree! it's super interesting and i think it serves Ted's arc well. there's sooo much insight into Ted's brand of mental health struggles and the way he thinks and views the world in those scenes!! also one thing you can't say is that they aren't consistent when it comes to his relationship with jamie throughout the show, lol.

personally i'm glad they didn't kill James Sr. because there definitely wasn't enough time to deal with that satisfyingly, even wasted screen time aside. the show just isn't Jamie-centered enough for that to have been dealt with well, imo (what they did instead ALSO wasn't handled well of course but. you know.) However i do love imagining him dying in a myriad of ways in my mind-palace :)

that said, had he died, i'm not convinced Ted would have been the right or best person to help jamie through that? we know from Ted's panic attack before Rebecca's dad's funeral that other people's Dead Dads are a big trigger for him (and understandably so). So in my opinion his response to Jamie's father dying would have been pretty similar to his responses to other Jamie problems throughout the series: first go through a personal crisis about it and then give Jamie some bad and misguided advice warped by his own experiences and his own flavor of dad trauma.

From my understanding, Ted's dad (and Ted himself) were/are majority Good Dads struggling with a disease, whereas Jamie's dad is a majority Bad Dad struggling with a disease. There is an important distinction there, but Ted consistently conflates the two. That's his problem, again and again. And i think it'd be the same in the case of James Sr.'s death, because parental loss and the trauma that comes out of it is much different for a son whose dad committed suicide than it is for a son whose dad died after abusing him for years. the dynamics are inherently so different, yet Ted doesn't fully grasp that and/or pushes it aside for various reasons; either way, that's why Ted struggles so much when it comes to Jamie and why I think he'd still struggle (if not struggle even more) had Jamie's dad also died.

#ted lasso #jamie tartt #ch: ted lasso #also though i didn't really need or have much of a desire for Ted Finally Understanding Jamie or whatever at the end of the series #like that breakthrough is just not something i particularly sought after #their relationship does interest me but not really beyond what i said here #i don't need them to have a close relationship and i don't really ever see it happening for them and i think that's all okay #asks

29 notes · View notes

thisautistic · 2 years

Text

Porsche's mood and inner landscape ep 5 (particularly the bathroom scene)

TW sexual assault, dub-con

I've been wanting to write this since I saw this scene for the first time. Then it helped me realize I had been raped when I was about 23. So it took a little while for me to be able to analyze it. But we're here now so let's crack in:

One point first. I am by no means saying that Kinn and Porsche should not be together because of the circumstances of their first time. I am aware that the two situations are very different. On the other hand, I don't want people to forget that this is VERY MUCH dub-con and Kinn handled the aftermath.....poorly to say the least.

I think the main point and thesis of this meta post is that Porsche is not only upset with Kinn here, he’s upset with himself. He’s upset with himself because he thought it was something more. He consented to sex with feelings, not just sex.

He’s also upset with Kinn for humiliating him. And allowing Ken and Big to humiliate him.

I think he’s most upset by the fact that he thought he was special, though.

So my SA wasn’t EXACTLY like this but it had some eerie similarities. I was drunk (not drugged) and I didn’t know the person who raped me. But I asked for it, just like Porsche. I came on to him just like Porsche. And not only was I treated badly by him but I was made to feel small and worthless by his friends.

Now, Ken and Big are not Kinn’s friends but the scene of Porsche’s ’punishment’ was eerily reminiscent of what happened when he was done with me. I was abused physically and laughed at by his friends.

I know there’s no reason for me to have expected that the man who raped me would protect me (now that I’m older and have some distance from it.) At the time, though, I felt betrayed. So much so that it was the straw that broke the camel’s back and made me go home. Thank god I did because it could have been a LOT worse.

Now, Porsche’s most humiliated moment, the moment when he's feeling the most sadness, rage, and guilt is in front of the mirror, when he’s seeing the aftermath of his ‘punishment.’ The physical evidence, as it were.

My most humiliating moment of the whole ordeal was when I had to walk down to the drugstore the next morning to get Plan B. I felt very much like I believe Porsche is feeling in this scene.

Let’s be real: It was traumatic. He is flashing back in this scene.

The scream he lets out as he flashes back may have been the largest indicator to me that we had shared trauma. I remember making those same noises, trying to get the pictures out of my head. But they wouldn't go.

He screams in anger and anguish. I did too.

Anger at the man who raped me, his friends, myself. Brief flashes of incandescent rage that sputtered out into self-loathing and sadness.

It wouldn’t have been such a big trauma for him if Kinn hadn’t insisted on treating him like any other bodyguard afterward. And that, I think is the crux of it. Porsche feels used. Just like I did. Like it didn’t have to be me. Like it could have been any other drunken girl (this is before I knew I was trans) who wandered into their midst.

Last but certainly not least, he keeps it from everyone. Even the people he is closest to.

So did I. I didn't understand for years that I had been raped. And not fully until I watched this very scene. In a lot of ways Porsche is not able to speak about it. Because it's his boss. Because he believes it was his fault. But I think most importantly, most heartbreakingly, that he doesn't want Pete to look down on him, because he is ashamed.

It's why he perked up when he thought he and Pete had shared trauma. That maybe it wasn't just him going through this. That maybe he could talk with someone about it.

But no. So he sits with it. It's not the first time he's had to deal with something himself. (Hello eldest child syndrome but we can get into that another day)

The irony of that is that if he had told Pete about it when he had the chance, that maybe Pete would have been able to talk to him about his ordeal.

So, my bbs. that's it.

Feel free to save this meta but please do not announce you're gonna use it for fanfic inspo or something cause it is actually my trauma so. Just be polite. I want people to be able to reblog it but if it starts getting weird I'll have to switch it to no reblogs.

Thanks for reading bbs. I love you.

I'm also gonna leave this article about unacknowledged rape here just in case this is a little too close to home for some of you.

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #mileapo #porsche pachara kittisawasd #apo nattawin #apo best actor #kinnporsche la forte #kinnporsche meta #my meta #thisautistic meta #cw sa #tw sex assault

54 notes · View notes

sparrowlovesskittles · 4 months

Text

Edit: hey so I wrote this like a year ago (before thunder came out) and only just realised I forgot to post it 💀💀 anyway here

So there's something I want to say, and I don't fully understand it, but I'm going to try to talk my way through it.

I've struggled for a while now because I think the line between 'proshipper' and 'dark fiction enjoyer' is sometimes a bit... Blurred? And warrior cats does not have the best history when it comes to glorifying pedophilic relationships.

I've been very vocal about my enjoyment of the manipulative Splashtail theory. I like that Frostpaw has a crush on Splashtail because I think it makes the series more interesting. I enjoy it because of the dark fiction aspect, and not because I like the ship.

The reason I say this is because I've previously made the mistake of saying I like the ship. I don't think this was an accurate thing to say, and even at the time I didn't really understand where I was going with it. Like I said, I think the line between 'I enjoy these two characters together' and 'I enjoy the plot drama that comes from putting these two characters together' is muddied. I'm not entirely sure where the difference is.

But I do want to clarify that, no, I'm not a proshipper, nor do I (knowingly) support anyone who is. Fiction can be harmful, it has real life effects on the people consuming it, this is something that's been proven.

Let me compare this to the most famous example of warrior cats pedophilia, Spottedleaf's Heart. I do not like Spottedleaf's Heart, but not because it's a story that contains pedophilia. I don't like it because it handles the topic of pedophilia very poorly. If Spottedpaw had told someone about Thistleclaw, they reacted appropriately, Thistleclaw had been properly held accountable for his actions, and Spottedpaw realised how inappropriate and scary the situation had been, then I might actually think it was a good book. But that very much did not happen, Thistleclaw wasn't properly portrayed as a bad guy, and Spottedpaw never realised that their relationship was wrong.

There are already signs that Splashtail and Frostpaw's situation is being handled properly, and I believe it will end appropriately. Frostpaw's crush on Splashtail is actually a source of frustration for him, the book makes it clear that he doesn't reciprocate, his friendship with her was a manipulative tactic, he is using her, he doesn't want what's best for her, and- this is a big one- when she confesses to him, he rejects her, and states that their relationship would be wrong because he's an adult and she's a child.

My point is, Thistleclaw and Spottedpaw is a pedophilic relationship, and so is Frostpaw and Splashtail. But the difference is that Frostpaw and Splashtail is outright portrayed as bad and wrong, while Thistleclaw and Spottedpaw was not.

So I've said in the past that 'I like Frostsplash as a ship because it's interesting' but I think that was the wrong thing to say. 'I like Frostsplash as a plot device because it's interesting' would be more accurate. So yeah. No one's really asked me about this, or even mentioned it, but I wanted to bring it up because it's been on my mind lately. IIRC, I voted for Frostsplash on Pigeocore's shipping poll a while ago, and I shouldn't have done that. I don't like Frostsplash as a ship, I like it as a plot device.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for understanding.

#frostsplash

1 note · View note

bnhaobservation · 11 months

Note

The other thing I disagree with is when you said like Endeavour, Shouto isn't good at reading people and that is false. Shouto is actually very good at reading others.

However reading others isn't an instant thing and it takes a couple of exchanges to be able to do so. Shouto not being able to read Touya right away is understandable because they've only met twice before their fight in Kamino. The first time was back at the camp and had a very short exchange with Touya taking the marble before Shouto and Shouto had no idea who Touya was and the second at Jakku when Touya revealed himself to be Dabi and even though Shouto was in shock he still managed to get some read on Touya but acknowledging how similar they were. But there wasn't enough of an exchange or Shouto being in the right headspace to be able to analyse Touya fully.

Then in their third encounter we see Shouto from the get go get a good read on Touya's abilities. He notices that Touya can rise his heat faster without hesitation and then he notices Touya's drive and intuitive when it comes to fire.

So with these short exchanges Shouto is able to read Touya a bit better each time without anyone telling him anything and I think this shows how good Shouto is at reading others not how bad he is.

I will also disagree about Endeavour he can also be very good at reading others since he read Hawks change in personality very easily in this case it's more choosing not to because he tends to run away from situations he can't handle and he refuses to even look but I think when he does he often can get a good read on others.

Ah sorry about two long asks but I did like your meta but I had to disagree with this.

Contiuing from where we have left!

The other thing I disagree with is when you said like Endeavour, Shouto isn't good at reading people

I can't really find to which sentence you're referring so I'm a bit at loss here, because I can't check if I explained it poorly or if I just mentioned it in passing so, ultimately, it became confusing because I didn't properly explain what I mean so I'll try to explain it now.

Starting with Endeavor because he's simpler.

Endeavor is very good at reading certain things. I wouldn't use the Hawks example because Hawks actually for Hawks own admission was the less subtle as possible and wasn't even sure Endeavor got the message.

What I consider good examples of Endeavor figuring things out, beyond the fact he's the number 2 and then the number 1 because he always has the highest tally in all Japan of solved cases (and this includes also the period in which All Might was working as a hero) is how, for example, he figured out where to search for Stain, how the Nomu was obsessed, like him, with strenght, how the commission should have been already informed of what Hawks knows and wants him to prepare the students to fight as well. Also, how he noticed that, with the fall of All Might, things are changing.

Those though, are all work related things and Enji, for all his faults, is very, very good at his job.

What he's not very good at is looking at people outside of his job.

He refused to look at Touya, he didn't realize he was driving Rei insane to the point she became dangerous for his children, he ignored Natsuo (and Fuyumi). Even when he wants to atone he fails to see the way to properly connect with them even when they basically spell it out (Shouto told him he wanted to see what kind of dad he could be and Fuyumi made clear she wanted a family).

Enji was so focused in his obsession to surpass All Might, in his rage, he didn't see anything else.

The whole Todoroki arc put a big emphasis on eyes and on what the character can and can't see, which culminates with Enji being unable to see Dabi was Touya (I'm not saying it was easy to figure it out, I'm just remarking a theme of the story).

I could also mention how it had to be Bakugo the one who helped him to realize allowing Midoriya and All Might to work together was actually a bad idea.

Enji couldn't pin down Midoriya's personality, which was actually very easy to guess starting from the fight against Shouto at the sport festival in which Midoriya destroyed himself to help Shouto overcome his trauma, never mentioning Midoriya spent time with him during his work study.

He also couldn't figure out All Might's personality despite being obsessed with the man.

Enji could probably be good at reading people if he were to put an effort in it but, as you also remarked, he avoided doing so, which leads him to technically be bad at doing so in many circumstances.

Enters Shouto.

Shouto's situation is very different from Enji because Shouto is evolving, he's changing, he's trying to grow better.

Shouto too, like his father, has some good potential, he notices for example the connection between Midoriya and All Might... but like his father at first he was more focused on his own anger.

He completely forgets about his meeting with Inasa, even if he realized he should have remembered it and, during the provisional licence exam, at first he waves Inasa off as merely an Endeavor's hater and then loses sight of what they were meant to do during the exam as he and Inasa start to get in the way of one another.

Similar to Enji, he failed to see Inasa because he decided not to look at him.

What's great in Shouto is, again, not that he's perfect but that, when he realizes his flaws, he takes steps to correct them (this is also a story about growing up so, of course, Shouto can't be perfect from the start but has to improve through the story).

The story implies Shouto, before entering U.A. didn't get to socialize much... so now Shouto decides to do his best to socialize and get friends with others, to understand them.

This bit can also be summarized as Shouto trying his best to learn to 'see' others, as in 'to understand them'.

So back to Shouto and Touya.

In his first interactions with Touya, Shouto didn't truly look at his brother, he just assumed things about him and believed he understood him due to them.

I generally focus more on the interactions they had after Touya revealed his identity but the one they had during the training camp was meaningful too because many remarked how, in Japanese, that sentence gave a very familiar vibe and it would have been very odd for Dabi to speak like that to Shouto if he weren't familiar with him (and the same goes for Enji when they met up after the Nomu fight).

Dabi was dropping hints. The readers caught up with them, but neither Shouto nor Enji did.

I'm not saying it's a capital sin, just a hint they aren't very good at looking at others, at catching signs when they don't want to look at them.

The narrative after all need Shouto not to understand Touya right off the bat, because this is meant to be a slow process for all the heroes (see Ochako and Midoriya).

So, in a way we agree on how Shouto needed time (along with the will) to get a reading on Touya.

The point in which we differ is that, for me, someone whom I can call good at reading others in a story, is someone who can do it fast, intuitively. Midoriya for example is often very, very fast at reading others, be their battle strategy and abilities or what's in their heart (he understand, despite all the circumstances, that Shigaraki needed saving).

Shouto has potential and he's putting a lot of effort in this.

It makes me like Shouto more because I'm interested in his journey to improve, to become even better because all the characters are improving, they're growing, they're not static in the story.

So for me again, Shouto is great not because he was good from the start, but because he's becoming good, because he's putting effort in this and, I'm sure, by the end of the day, he'll understand his brother, not merely as a fighter but as a person.

He might very well be the first Todoroki to do so even though he's the one who technically know him the least since his interactions with him were so few and in such heavy circumstances.

Said all this, it's fine if you still feel like disagreeing. This is only my personal interpretation, I'm not Horikoshi and I don't know the truth of the characters.

Again thank you for wanting to share your opinion, being very civil about it and allowing me to talk about one of my fave characters!

1 note · View note

whencallstheheart · 3 years

Note

Elizabeth is such a mess. Honestly, she doesn't deserve either of them. She needs to be by herself because she hasn't fully grieved Jack's death. She thinks she did, but didn't. How could she? She was pregnant and had to go into Mommy mode. Then she had to raise little Jack. She couldn't even put the nursery together. Part 1

Part 2 I honestly hope that she is able to really deal with things in these next episodes because right now she's not a good fit for either of them. She's led Lucas on and treated Nathan like he's Billy from Season 1. Nathan had no ill intent towards her. She's never given him a fair chance. I hope Elizabeth can talk to Rosemary, Bill, Pastor Joesph, and Minnie. She needs support and help.

Elizabeth needing to work through her grief and her emotions doesn’t make her undeserving of either man. I have a big problem with that logic. You’re acknowledging that she needs help but then harshly judging her. She hasn’t gone about things in the best way but that’s because she’s struggling so much. She’s not some awful person who shouldn’t be loved. The argument instead should be that perhaps she isn’t ready and I would agree with that. She has treated both men poorly and they deserve better in that regard but I think they’d also be very understanding and forgiving of her given the situation. Both men know that she’s struggling and that’s hard for them to navigate as well.

I do expect Elizabeth to do some work on herself in these last few episodes. It has been 3+ years since Jack’s death. She wants to be ready to move on and open her heart again but she’s still wearing her ring which is a big thing holding her back. I don’t think that she needs a lot more time to figure things out. I think it’s more about her just finally being honest with herself and accepting that Jack is gone and he would want her to move on and be happy. She needs to take down the wall she’s put up around her heart.

I actually sort of appreciate that they’ve brought Elizabeth to this point where everyone hates her (although no one should... they should be supportive). It’s very real. People do not deal with their shit and bad things happen. You repress and you deny and you try to live life normally but it eats away at you until you can’t handle it anymore. That’s what we’re seeing with Elizabeth. Looking at it from that angle, it’s a pretty decent storyline as frustrating as it may be at times.

#beaconofautism

10 notes · View notes