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butterflyintochains · 3 months

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Schism

Another week in Whistler might just be the thing that finally does Joanna Blackwood in, her boyfriend is in Michigan with Quinn and his family. She loves her family, she really does, but good God they've been insufferable. Her parents have been their usual lovely selves, her niblings are just the best, but her three older siblings are annoying her. To make matters worse, Elias' new contract is still up in the air, and she has to hear about it from her siblings who don't know what the fuck they're talking about. Currently, Joanna is in her room in Blackwood Lodge, her brothers are out biking, her sisters are swimming at the lake. Bored senseless, she grabs her climbing stuff from her days out with the gang, and heads down to the climbing centre. She spends some time on some boulders, before tackling a lead wall, then heads home for some dinner. ''If you ask me, Benning is an idiot, letting these two dictate the discussion like this.'' Edward says.

Nicholas, ever the eldest Blackwood's lieutenant, nods. ''I know, he should just say; 'here's the offer, don't like it, tough shit'. It's what I'd do.''

Joanna feels the fire Elias stoked in her rising, but tries to freeze it back down, she's not called 'Ice Queen' for nothing. She scrolls through her instagram to keep herself busy. ''How do we know it's not just Elias and Quinn being greedy? Wanting more than they're due? It's not like either had a good season last year, is it?'' Her brother-in-law Matthew poses. Which is... simply untrue. Quinn led the team in assists. Elias was injured. And, the team got sick with covid. ''Besides, it's just business, right?'' Lucinda adds. Joanna fiddles with her ring, a topaz and emerald on yellow gold, Elias' most recent birthday gift to her. His ring, their stones, his love. ''You guys know I'm right here, don't you? The girlfriend of one Canuck and best friend of another?'' Edward laughs. ''Anna, you've been with him for two years.''

Joanna furrows her brows. ''And? We live together, I've met his family, we already know we're forever. So, what do you think gives you the right to speak about him like that? I'm going through this stress too, you know?''

Matthew asks, in disbelief. ''Really? How?'' Joanna simply states, because they made each other a promise. ''If he leaves, so do I.'' Nicholas scoffs. ''Oh, come on, sis. This city is your home.'' Lucinda says. ''There will be other guys, Anna.''

With this, Joanna rises, and books an early morning flight to Michigan. ''He's my home, my family, the love of my life. If the three of you can't understand that, I'm out. Mike, Kate, I'll text you tomorrow.'' She goes to pack up for the flight. In silence, she packs her car, and drives back into the city. Staying the night at home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joanna books in for her flight to Detroit the next morning, goes through security. After a quick breakfast, Joanna gets on her flight, bound for her boyfriend. Perhaps she should've taken this holiday with him all along. She can't understand how her married older siblings can be so... dismissive of them.

She lands in Detroit late that afternoon, and orders an Uber to take her to Ann Arbor. The driver is called Peter, and he's really nice. ''What brings a BC girl to Michigan?'' He asks in the car.

Joanna says. ''My boyfriend is with friends here, I had a fallout with my family, so, here I am.'' After some time of driving, Peter asks her. ''Do you know where he is, Joanna?'' Joanna mentally kicks herself for the oversight. ''No, hang on.'' She texts Quinn.

Joanna Rose: Hey, Q, I'm in Ann Arbor, where are you guys rn? Huggy Bear: Really? We're at my parents' place. 45 Franklin Street, on the lake. Should I tell my mom to get a room ready? Joanna Rose: I already sleep with Elias, Q, we'll be okay.

She tells Peter the address, and he drops her off. She pays and tips him, thanking God for her trust fund. The house is lovely, a nice big lakehouse. All the hallmarks of a hockey family in the frontyard. She's dead tired, and knocks the door. Quinn lets her into the house, it's very cozy in here. ''This place is amazing, Q.'' She hugs him. He leads her through to the back patio, here she's finally reunited with her Elias. ''Hjartat, what... how...'' She leaps into his arms, he holds her tight. ''I've missed you so much.''

Elias kisses her neck. ''I've missed you too, alskling.'' Before the trio are joined, she tells them everything her siblings were saying over dinner last night. ''It just... hurt me so much... they were just insulting you as if I wasn't even there.''

Quinn is shocked. ''And 'there will be other guys'? Has Lucinda met you two? Hell, even Brock and I know you'll be married one day.'' Elias stares a hole in the oak planks beneath them. ''But, Anna, they're your family.''

Joanna takes his hands. ''So are you, and Quinn, and Brock, and Thatcher. You are my family, I choose you.'' Elias kisses her hands, and says. ''I choose you too.''

In time, Quinn's younger brothers - Jack and Luke join them. ''You must be Joanna, Petey loves gushing about you.'' Jack says. Joanna laughs, and relaxes into his arms. ''I can imagine.''

To her surprise, both Tkachuk brothers and their sister join them too. The group hang out, until Ellen Hughes sends them to bed. Joanna climbs into bed with Elias.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over the coming days, the group hang out as young people should. Quinn's family are super nice and welcoming. During breakfast on her fourth morning, she says to Jim and Ellen. ''Sorry for dropping in on you, Mr and Mrs Hughes, I've just missed Elias so much.'' Jim assures her. ''Don't apologize, dear, our door is always open to Quinn's friends. Quinn told us why you're here, I can't believe how insensitive your family have been.''

Ellen adds, backing her husband up. ''You and Elias live together, that sounds pretty permanent to me.'' Luke puts his plate in the dishwasher. ''I think they're jealous, Joanna, they all have normal spouses, you have a Canuck.''

Brady tips his juice glass to the youngest Hughes brother. ''Hear hear, Lukey.''

Joanna laughs, she finds that she rather likes Luke's honesty, reminds her of her younger sister. ''You'd get on so well with my little sister, Kate. She's seventeen, and does not hold back.''

Later that day, Elias and Quinn's new contracts arrive in the mail, and are signed before the group go down to the lake. Joanna has Taryn snap a picture of herself and Elias. Which goes onto her instagram.

@Joanna_Rose: Take this sinking ship, and point it home. We've still got time - Glen and Marketa. With my favourite person on Earth, I love you, Elias!

liked by: @_eliaspettersson, @_quinnhughes, @bboeser, and 250 others.

Replies:

@_eliaspettersson: Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice, you've made it now. My love, my light. I love you, Joanna.

@TessaKnight: Glad to see my bestie is happy with you, Elias! @NucksForever: Love looks good on you guys! @Canucks: Can't wait to have you guys home soon!

@bboeser: My two best friends, can't wait to see you two again.

@Elianna4Ever: Our beloveds! And the Once lyrics are everything, Glen and Marketa are iconic for that song.

@Joanna_Rose: Yeah, we watched Once ages ago, and Falling Slowly is just... the most impactful song I've heard in my life. Glad you stan us, because we certainly do.

@BelieveInBlue: Wait, Joanna is in Michigan with the boys?? Holy shit!

@Joanna_Rose: Yeah, had some family drama, and Elias is my safe space, so... here I am! The Hughes fam are awesome, the Tkachuks are chaotic, but that's fine.

The holiday is healing for her, after the fallout with her family, which will probably not be resolved this side of all star break, she savours this precious time off with the love of her life.

#hockey rpf #vancouver canucks #elias pettersson x oc

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selective-yellow · 11 months

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this isn't really a big deal but I kinda can't stop thinking about it. I'm more bitter than anything

my little sister recently reached the year mark since she got her cancer diagnosis and in a month it'll be a year since the lump was successfully removed. her birthday is next month and we have a lot to celebrate!

late last year she went through about a month or so of chemo before stopping due to negative side effects (she is still undergoing other treatments, just not chemo). around this time my work went from "Maaaaybe yall can come in 3 times a week" to "minimum four days in the office no exception!!! *unless approved by HR" I immediately spoke with HR and told him everything, that I wanted the exception bc I did not want to risk my sister. Considering this was during the holidays (meaning lots of people would be traveling) and I was already the only one masking in the office while almost ALL of our covid safety measures had been laxed or out right removed, it felt even more urgent to me to just stay away. Not to mention my wife had some health issues at the time as well, so i had a few reasons to WFH. He understood and told me he would meet with my managers and see if they would approve it.

The funny thing though, I never actually got the exception. That was the last I spoke of it to anyone (no one at my work, save HR and one coworker who had shared with me her story of her chemo journey, knew about what was happening and to this day i still havent told anyone; I'm one of those people who will immediately burst into tears when I'm asked Are You Okay? and at the end of the day i just didnt want the attention) and since neither of my 3 office leaders reached out to me about my situation, I sort of had no choice but to assume they either didn't know/HR hadn't gotten around to them, or they DID know & my exception wasn't approved anyway. So I kept coming in and for months I just masked and stopped attending pretty much any work event. If it involved being together, I passed. I did what I could to just minimize contact as much as I could. occasionally i just said fuck it and stayed home whenever I just wanted to but for the most part I was still coming in, feeling bitter and alienated.

I guess I could have pushed and pushed them, but at that time I was pretty mentally beat down and didn't have the energy to argue what I thought at the time was a "sorry but no." besides, like I said, she ended up doing less chemo than we thought she would

eventually as time passed the urgency decreased bc she was better. Her health improved and we reached a point where we felt she wasn't at risk anymore - she went back to work, was going out like her old self and it was obvious she was healthy. I decided if she felt safe enough to go out, that was a weight I could take off my shoulders and work started going back to "normal"

I met with HR a few months ago to go over my "return to office" and, baffled, I told him I never actually got the exception and was still coming in. He basically just said, "Huh. Well that's great. Remember, four days. Bye!"

I still had no idea if my office leaders were ever told what was going on with me, as again not one of them spoke with me about it and my time in the office.

two weeks ago I had a meeting with my boss, and at the end he out of the blue asked how my little sister was feeling? I told him she was doing so much better, which is true and he was glad.

So he knew the whole time...?

I know he was going through a tough time too. 2022 was rough on him. But I was still???

So you knew.

It sort of floored me. Someone knew the whole time. Did my other managers know? Did they just assume someone else had talked to me? Was it just all miscommunication? Or did they decide being present in the office was more important? I can't say i was mentally present but at least I filled a desk huh

I dunno. I want to think it was just miscommunication. Or just an unfortunate oversight due to too many balls in the air. It happens.

But fuck man. My sister had cancer. The whole point of asking for an exception was to protect yourself or family members. those months were so miserable. I was so miserable at almost all times, I was crawling through every day just fully bitter and resentful that I couldn't be fucking safe at home. And I really hate knowing now that it didn't have to be that way at all.

#work woes #cancer mention

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jmflowers · 1 year

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4, 9, 18, 19 🥰 (that should keep you busy!)

4. Movie of the year?

I was going to say I didn't watch much of anything this year, but that isn't true because I took a bunch of film theory classes last winter that had required viewing. I just can't tell you the last movie I truly watched for my own enjoyment...

As far as seeing for the first time this year, I watched Charlie Chaplin's The Kid and Céline Sciamma's Tomboy for my Art of Film class. I also saw a bunch of adaptations for my Story and Screen class, but my favourite was analyzing Stephen King's Gerald's Game against Mike Flanagan's film. I think I watched Stand By Me for the first time this year, too.

Moral of the story: watching movies and TV shows becomes work when you're studying them in school.

9. Best month for you this year?

I always really love October, but I had COVID in October this year. (Although, I also saw a concert and went to BC...)

I guess maybe July? I was working at the farm and doing my screenwriting placement and I saw my niece twice to celebrate her first birthday. Or maybe August, when I was camping a bunch. I'm always really happy in time periods where I'm busy and spending a lot of the day outside.

18. A memorable meal this year?

There have been a lot of good meals, but none of them really have to do with the food. My birthday dinner with Kaitlyn in Whistler, when the jet lag hit like a freight train. Our late Thanksgiving dinner when my brother and sister-in-law told us they're expecting. Laughing with old friends over appetizers. Brunch after shows. Picnics in parks and on the beach. Ice cream in the car with my goddaughter. Wolfing down snacks in the grass after long hikes. I feel really privileged.

19. What're you excited about for next year?

I mean, there are a lot of babies anticipated. I'm looking forward to holding all of them and learning about who they are and seeing how my dearest people adapt to parenthood.

But I'm also really excited to graduate. To move on from schooling and begin the next chapters of my life. To get back to working in the industry. Having more time to write and travel. Making a genuine income again. And, more than anything, preparing to leave Canada and live my life somewhere new.

end of year asks

#it really has kept me busy thank you #janelle's asks #ask game #end of year asks

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hilarychuff · 2 years

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List five things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box of the last ten people who reblogged something from you. Spread the positivity ✨💛🌻

HELLO i answered this ask to hold myself accountable and then was like “let me leave it in the drafts bc what if i don’t do any of this also is this very vulnerble???” and then the next day!! surprise!! i didn’t do any of this!!! lmao but leaving it pristine as it was at the time with some addendum notes in bold

ok i went on vacation and came back with covid but felt ok enough that the first few days were like yay days off with burnout already addressed!!!! i did so much cleaning!!! but now we're entering the despair stage lmfao so here is my list of five things that make me happy that will be my to do list for tomorrow

procure bagel. not sure how to do this just yet bc i can't go pick up my favorite bagel obviously (closed on wednesdays anyway) but might get one from my backup bagel place delivered for a little treat might go get a bagel today this sounds good

paint my toe nails. haven't done this in a long long long long time like had bare nails the whole first two years of the pandemmy but i got a pedicure with my friend for her birthday and having nice toes made me feel good and right now they look like shit and i said i was going to do them yesterday and didn't and today and didn't but i'm staying home again tomorrow so tomorrow is the day i didn’t that day but i did eventually!!! they’re hot pink and they still look nice which delights me

watching something that delights you!!!! i'm not sure what that will be tomorrow but i really want to watch everything everywhere all at once and at this point it doesn't seem like it's gonna be in a theater so maybe i'll find a way to stream it at home. if not i will !! figure something out maybe another new movie or comfort movie i did eventually see this movie in theaters!!!!! it was so good!!!!!!!!

sitting in the sun!!!!! i have a lil patio i will sit outside i will wear my mask if i have to but i should go sit in the sun maybe when i get my bagel i’ll eat it in the sun

facetime a friend. idk who yet but somebody is getting a facetime from me. i need to talk to another person!!! why did i avoid that today. maybe i'll do that now and again with a different friend tomorrow. ok gonna go do that now hope i'm not lying!!!! i don’t think anyone answered lmao it was kind of late

we love to practice self care!! we SHOULD love to practice self care we more frequently practice self indulgence BUT we’re working on it (a lie again??? possibly but you have to start by setting the intention!!! this is progress)

#ask games

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oversizedbats · 2 years

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*jazz hands* 1-20 😏♥️ *finger guns*

LMAOOOO GIGI

1, 12, 19, 20 are here so I guess I'll entertain you and answer the rest here. But since you decided to be a menace I feel I need to put it under the cut

Ask game if anyone else wants to play but i'm answering all of them now i guess LOLL

2. top 5 books of all time?

AH um ok so it's going to be one of the ACOTAR books (could change depending on the day but it basically just flips between ACOWAR and ACOSF), A Rogue of One's Own (you already know how near and dear that one is), Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage (the best portrayal of loneliness I've ever read and came to me at a time when I really really needed that), Beartown, and Fangirl.

Subject to change wildly

3. what is your favourite genre?

Flip flops between Fantasy and Romance. Right now I'm solidly in my romance era but it comes and goes between the two.

4. what sections of a bookstore do you browse?

I LOVE the endcaps and themed tables those are absolutely my favorites but I usually skim the romance aisle and general fiction as well

5. where do you buy books?

I mostly get my physical books from Barnes & Noble & Book of the Month. A ton of the books I read are from Libby though so I don't own nearly as many as I've read.

6. what books have you read in the last month?

Since April 15th (my birthday <3) I've read

House of Hollow

The Wall of Winnipeg and Me

The Dinner

Never Judge a Lady by Her Cover

The Atlas Six

The Bromance Book Club

Teach Me

A Good Girl's Guide To Murder

And I'll probably finish Gild today

7. is there a series/book that got you into reading?

There have been a few over time as my reading habits have fluctuated. The Warriors Series was a big one that got me into reading as a kid, Divergent got me back into it in my early teens, ACOTAR and Throne of Glass didn't really get me into reading since I was already into it at the time but they did make me excited about it again after that excitement had kind of faded for a bit (like late high school).

But the thing that got me MOST into reading again was COVID LOL. I was too busy (and also clinically depressed lol) for much reading in 2018/2019, I read 18 books in 2018, 36 in 2019, 77 in 2020, and 100 in 2021 lol. So even now that I do have to leave my apartment again I'm still reading more than I ever have before so that's stuck around (honestly though it's probably also bc I found my bookish people on the internet <3)

8. what is the first book you remember reading yourself?

BAHAHA oh my god this question. I don't remember the title but we had this picture book where there were a bunch of stuffed animals in a classroom that taught themselves to read from the posters on the wall LOL. It was kind of meta bc it was like a book about learning to read but I loved that book and felt SO accomplished when I could read it to my parents instead of the other way around so that was probably the earliest memory I have of reading a book (although to reference Nick Miller maybe I just memorized the words LOL I don't remember). For chapter books the earliest I can remember is either a Junie B. Jones or Magic Treehouse book but I don't know which one I read first

9. when do you tend to read most?

On weekends bc i have a job >:( so weekends and evenings. I also try to read a lot when I'm at the airport/flying or riding in a car.

10. do you have a guilty fav?

Not really, I feel like I try to avoid the idea of "guilty pleasures" in general so nothing comes to mind. Like. Maybe ACOTAR bc I acknowledge it's kind of a dumpster fire these days but I still wouldn't classify it as a "guilty" fave obviously.

11. what non-fiction books do you like if any?

I do enjoy non-fiction from time to time! I absolutely ADORED The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green and Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer they both are so special to me. I've also read some really great memoirs like The Glass Castle and I'm really looking forward to Jennette McCurdy's memoir coming out this year.

13. do you have a goodreads?

I do and some of you have found it. I don't write reviews on there so have fun guessing how i felt about a book from my star review only LOL.

14. do you ever mark/dog ear books you own?

No. I used to dog ear like SUPER tiny but I don't anymore bc there are too many cute bookmarks in the world for that. I don't write in my books either, I tried that as well but it didn't feel like it added anything to the experience for me. The farthest I've gone recently is tabbing a book and that was only ACOSF and that was only so I could get back to my favorite parts faster LOL

I'm very much a "a little wear and tear is fine but I'm not going out of my way to make this look beat up" reader so no marking or dogearing and no spine cracking unless it happens on it's own. I try to respect people who purposefully beat up their books but I also sometimes i feel like they do it for outrage bait on tiktok LMAO

15. recommend and review a book.

I don't feel like writing a review but the last book I recommended to someone was The Wall of Winnipeg and Me so we'll go with that (i recommended it to my boss <3)

16. how many books have you read this year?

32 right now, will be 33 before the end of the day since i'm almost done with gild

17. top 5 children’s books?

Gah I don't even know. I liked Warriors, Little House on the Prairie, Harry Potter, Magic Treehouse & Diary of a Wimpy Kid as a Youth but I don't know if i would say they're in the top 5 like bold of anyone to assume I remember who I was as a child LOL

18. do you like historical books? which time period?

I obviously have a recent soft spot for regency romances <3. Other than that I do read historical fiction but I don't tend to gravitate towards any particular time period.

there's the end of the list, hope you're satisfied gigi

#ask game #gigi tag

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chickadeeee · 2 years

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So I moved halfway across the country for work, but I wasn’t too worried about it, in part bc I had a good friend living in the same city who I was excited to get closer to.

Except now it seems that my friend doesn’t want to be friends anymore.

The first sign of trouble was pride weekend. I’ve never been to pride ™ but I’ve always wanted to go, my gay+ friends just… forget I’m bi I guess idk lol. Anyways I asked if he had plans and he said yes but he could maybe see me after! I had to head that way anyways and we had our virtual zoom book club meeting in like an hour so I asked if he wanted to meet up irl for it. He said sure just give him that hour to sober up! The parks were closed so I sat on a curb and waited. For an hour. Reading a new book, but still, ouch. Then when time came for book club he ghosted me and never signed on for the group call. I was really upset and just walked home, it was a 20min bus ride but I walked the hour instead just to process. I had caught covid right when I moved and this was my first chance to see him, kind of my first social event, so I had been super excited. He never apologized or mentioned it again.

He invited me to another vague thing when his friend came into town a few days later. I asked him the day before if he still had plans and if he wanted me to come and he replied with a detailed itinerary. So seems that he had it all planned out and just forgot to tell me.

A week later I invited him to come watch fireworks on my office rooftop. He didn’t let me know if he was gonna come or not until the end of the day when he said no. I wasn’t comfortable riding transit alone late so I just stayed home.

He did invite me to an event! For a professional org he’s the president of. So like, it makes him look good for me to come. I went. He barely talked to me. He hasn’t invited me to any of their other events.

We finally hung out… when a mutual friend was in town. That was fine.

I’d been trying to get lunch w him since I moved but only brought it up a few times. It was originally his idea bc we work close to each other. He gets weekly lunch with one friend so I thought it would be like biweekly or something with us. When we finally got lunch, he said ‘maybe we can do this again in like a month!’ which kind of shocked me. Like I get if you’re busy but saying it so coldly without even adding “bc I’m so busy” just felt awful. It’s been over a month since & he hasn’t mentioned any second lunch.

By this point I had basically given up but the last thing was his birthday. He usually goes ALL OUT and he has a couple friends flying in which he mentioned last book club. His birthday is this Friday and by yesterday (Sunday) I hadn’t heard anything yet… I kinda knew he just wasn’t going to invite me but I wanted to give him a chance. So in yesterday’s book club, I asked if he knew what he was doing yet, trying to give him an opportunity to invite me. He listed out five days of detailed plans with his visiting friends and said he wasn’t having a party this year. He didn’t mention one stop on his itinerary that he wanted me to come to. I wanted to give it one more shot so today before work I texted him to say

“oh btw if you’d like me to come to any of your birthday weekend plans I’d be happy to! but I understand if you just want to keep it smaller”

and he replied at the end of the work day

“Kk! I think we’ll make it over to [nearby neighborhood] at some point so I’ll keep you posted and maybe you can join for a drink!”

He didn’t even say what day he was thinking. Just that they’ll probably be sorta near me once in a 5-day span and maybe I can join for a single drink. When I got that text I laughed out loud. I doubt he’ll end up texting me, if it happens I’ll be shocked. But I won’t make the past mistakes of waiting all day to hear from him. I don’t know if I would go or not though. I guess if I feel like it I will, but since I can’t plan for it, it’s unlikely that I’ll feel like it. I usually need to know in advance of any events so I can plan my hair wash, budget my social energy, etc. At least I can save money by not getting him a birthday present. And I can make plans to watch football on the holiday instead of seeing him.

So like. Yeah. Clearly he’s just not interested in staying friends with me for some reason. I don’t understand it at all. I don’t want to be more pathetic or more annoying so I’ll just accept that he’s not interested and stop trying. But it hurts because I thought we were going to become closer friends and now I feel so so alone. I gotta get off my ass and make new friends for sure but for now it just sucks and I feel so isolated and lonely. Like talking to the employee at a local jewelry store was the highlight of my day the other week because it was a human interaction.

Anyways I don’t meant to be dramatic, I’ll be fine and I at least have my cat, plus ik what I need to do. I just need to get this out and I can’t post on my usual emotional social cuz he follows me :/

#k gets emo

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deathnoting · 2 years

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just a personal post about my unmanageable poly feelings

so i made some post about having a crush on my boyfriend’s ex-wife which was mostly a joke/just like a vibe, but now i’m going to make a v real post about a v real crush that i thought i was over but am certainly not. also poly, also someone with a close relationship to both my boyfriend and i, our friend E who i have been like slightly in love with on & off for like 2 years

- we all became friends pre-pandemic. actually E became friends with my bf first. she is exactly my age, and my boyfriend is 23 years older than both of us, but whatever. he prob has more friends my age than i do. (he has a lot of friends, and twenty-something girls & queer people especially love him bc he has angel mom energy)

- anyway we all worked together and my bf & E hit it off as soon as she started and he was like “you should become friends with E, i think you would love her” and i was like “girl you don’t know me” (we had been dating for like 2 years at this point i’m just disagreeable on instinct lmao). anyway i started hanging out with E and big surprise he was right, i fucking loved her. like a lot

- so anyway around late 2019/early 2020, the three of us were hanging out a lot, and she & i were hanging out a lot on our own, and i just got a huuuuge crush on her. i tried to repress it bc that’s my thing, but i had recurring dreams about making out with her so i was like. shit

- and i specifically had very strong poly feelings bc the three of us were just??? in love idk. she would often sleep over at our house on the fold out futon and one time my bf like did a big blanket swoosh over her and then kissed her goodnight on the forehead very chastely, and that was like? just the general energy. E’s parents are very shit and my bf just mommy’d her a lot, idk how else to say it? we cultivated very good found family vibes

- so anyway i eventually told my bf how i felt although i was very nervous bc we had never talked about poly anything. and he had been (rightfully) pretty hurt and upset when i got drunk and made out with a very hot girl at a halloween party so i was just like. he’s gonna be hurt or he’s not gonna be into it? but he was sooo supportive & just like, “yeah i know exactly what you mean.” i honestly don’t think he has ever had a strong sexual attraction to E but we talked out all our poly family fantasies about her & also it opened the door to. a lot of kinks but w/e

- anyway all this happened in early 2020 and then like literally a few weeks before covid hit and everything locked down, E got a boyfriend (another coworker and our mutual friend). i remember the night she told me bc i had been like sweating nervously to go out for pie with her (we had like an almost weekly pie shop date at that point) and then i just went home and cried to my boyfriend. i had known that it was a very loooong shot (many times your friends don’t want to date you & your much older boyfriend - i understand that, it’s cool) but idk i was just crushed by it anyway.

- so whatever, pandemic, there was a lot of craziness. we all got laid off and the bf & i laid low and we zoomed her a few times but mostly we didn’t see her for like the better part of a year and a half. she brought us christmas presents one year, we brought her a huge amount of birthday shit, but like she was very worried about getting covid bc she has had a lot of savings destroying, life altering health issues in the past so we just didn’t see each other. anyway, she moved in with that boyfriend and then they broke up last summer and i remember when she called me to talk about it i was like? oh wow? i’m over her? like i wasn’t like hopeful or anything, i was like, i’m just a totally chill supportive friend?

- so ok, our work reopened, she and my bf started woking together again, i worked there for a little while during the holidays but am just doing school full time rn, but we started hanging out a little again. and then after we all got covid in early january, we started hanging out together a lot. and now i’m back in the same boat???? i have a big crush again

- but joke’s on me bc she has another boyfriend now. who lives in montreal, and she’s going to move to canada for a year (or potentially forever) to be with him??? so now. i’m??? suffering???

- the big reasons i’m suffering???

- 1) she wants to do mushrooms with me bc she is just struggling a lot with mental health and knows (from other friends as well as me) that it can fucking really change the game. (this is another story but yeah. i haven’t been depressed once since a pretty life altering mushroom trip i did last spring, and i have suffered recurring bouts of physically debilitating depression many many times a year since i was like 13 so. yeah.) that’s great for her and i want to help her but i’m a little worried if i’m on mushrooms with her i’m going to??? show my hand? tell her or otherwise communicate my feelings to her?? i was thinking of telling her outright beforehand & seeing if she still wants to do them, bc honestly i would be so upset with myself if i fucked up a possibility of emotional healing for her by confessing my feelings so. yeah. idk!!!!

- 2) last week when she was sleeping over, after our other friend left and my bf went to bed, i stayed up late downstairs with her and we talked about her impending move and her relationship and she started crying and saying she wasn’t sure if she was making the right decision? she really loves her bf i think but she was like, what if i can’t adapt to a new city? what if i get rid of all my shit and then things fall apart and i move back and have nothing? she said she wasn’t sad about leaving before bc she was barely seeing anyone anyway, but now that “we’re all hanging out again” she’s super sad to leave. and inside i’m just like!!!!!!!!!!!!!! stay with me!!!!!! but honestly it’s not workable bc she can’t afford to stay in our city now that everything’s so expensive, and it’s not like she could move in. we don’t have the space and we have my bf’s two kids half the week. if we had a house with a spare room then i’d confess my love for her on the spot, but we work at a bookstore. we're 2 adults & 2 kids living in a 2 bedroom apartment. we cannot afford a serious girlfriend???

- 3) ok last thing is that on the same night last week she said (to all of us) “honestly i know this is fucked up bc i keep having boyfriend after boyfriend but i think i’m only physically attracted to women. like i love the people i love emotionally, and trust is the most important thing to me, but i just. only really want to have sex with women.” and i’m like !!!!!!!!!!! screaming inside???? have sex with me and be in a loving romantic/platonic/familial relationship with my bf??? i’m down, he’s down???? he doesn’t need to have sex with you??? don’t move out of the country for someone you’re not physically attracted to???? (i know, i know, love is complex, not everybody prioritizes sex as much as i do, but??? maybe she would prioritize sex if she. had fulfilling sex? with me?) (sorry!!!! i’m just??? i’m suffering)

- 4) ok last thing is she said she told another mutual friend “jaye and john’s [bf] apartment is honestly one of the only places in the world where i feel safe” and that as she was saying it she started tearing up????

- ??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m ?? s u f f e r i n g

#no i do not expect anyone to read this lmao i'm just using this as a diary entry #feel free to peruse my queer poly drama #another part of this that i should add is honestly? my monogamous relationship is soooo healthy both emotionally #and sexually fulfilling and also drama free that i don't want to complicate things at all in a way #but yeah i'm such a fucking? romantic? crush fantasizer? i have a whole domestic quuer family fantasy about us it's bad folks #jaye text posts to herself

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theblogtini · 3 years

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You know what annoys me the MOST about The Sussexes? The tonedeafness of it all. That was the very first thing that started turning my opinion of them - the October 2019 pity party interview.

Here’s how the last year+ of my life has gone:

September 2019 - found out I was pregnant w/ my 2nd child

October 2019 - my grandfather died

December - had COVID before it was even a known thing & have never been sicker in my life (my doctors strongly suspect it was COVID, but we can’t be 100% positive but when we had to take my 2 year old to the ER bc he was so sick they said it was “a weird new virus we’ve never seen before”)

January 2020 - it was determined I would need to have semi-emergency surgery on my abdomen at 23 weeks pregnant bc was ill — 23 weeks is before “viability” so my baby wouldn’t be monitored during the surgery & they would not intervene to help him if needed — they would not let me push the surgery out 3 days bc I was too ill

February 2020 - surgery takes place. BABY WAS FINE thank god. Couldn’t be left alone with my 2 year old or drive anywhere for 4 weeks - considered severely immune compromised due to pregnancy + surgery

March - lockdown happens. My son cuts his eyelid open and has to go get stitches and since we were on lockdown and I was pregnant the hospital wouldn’t let me be there with him (a mother’s nightmare)

April - admitted to the hospital at 35 weeks pregnant. Baby and I are both ill. Baby diagnosed with IUGR - he had stopped growing inside me 4 weeks earlier

May 6, 2020 - baby born preterm via emergency csection at 2:30am bc I started going downhill. I was unable to hold him for 10 hours as I was too ill and they were afraid I would crash and drop him. I was hooked to an IV for 2 days & basically sedated. My baby was being monitored by the NICU team (in my room bc of the pandemic) due to breathing, blood sugar, liver, and body temp issues. He was well enough to be discharged 3 days after birth but I was not. Mind you still a pandemic and now I’ve had two surgeries in 4 months so I’m still considered severely immunocompromised. And my baby weighs 4lbs and has zero immune system and breathing problems - during a pandemic that attacks the respiratory system.

May 10 - discharged home with my baby during a pandemic. No one in my family met him for weeks and weeks. My sister and dad just held him for the first time last week (10 months!!) due to his health issues and the pandemic.

Summer - trapped in house w/ 2 kids & husband. It’s a pandemic so there’s no where to go and no one can come to us. I can’t drive anyway (due to csection)

My maternity leave ended in early summer - husband & I have been WFH with 2 kids (a toddler & newborn) and zero help bc again - pandemic.

Fall/Winter 2020 - still WFH with no help. Still trapped inside w/ 2 kids & husband. I can drive now but there’s no where to go & nothing to look forward to. Pandemic related job woes start kicking in for us, which isn’t good bc we have 2 kids & 1 is medical compromised AND ITS A PANDEMIC.

Holidays 2020 (Thanksgiving & Christmas) - no family to celebrate with. Still trapped in house.

January 2021 - older sons 3 birthday, no party bc pandemic

February 2021 - still a pandemic. Job woes getting more serious. Find out that baby is only in 16% for height - not growing on the “outside” as he should due to my illness when he was on the inside. I managed to get vaccinated bc of health issues - can finally leave the house except... no where to go.

March 2021 - still in the house. Still a pandemic. Still WFH with 2 crazy kids & no outside help. Job woes really getting serious - money becoming tight. Health insurance ends this month - in a pandemic. No alone time with husband or heck even for myself really.

But go ahead Meghan... bitch on national TV about how your son isn’t A LITERAL PRINCE ... yet. Because he WILL be just not today. At least he’s healthy. At least you are not actually trapped in your home. At least you have help while you and your very wealthy husband pretend to work while the rest of us struggle.

Am I having a pity party? You betcha! 99% of my posts lately have been with a kid on my lap or holding a baby late at night because we don’t have nannies and night nurses like some royals. I’m mom-ing, working, cleaning, cooking, and STRUGGLING while Meghan is whining.

And I STILL KNOW IM LUCKY! So why doesn’t she?

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trivialoveclub · 3 years

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2020 Year in Review!

hey! i was tagged by the absolute angel that is ⚘ @unefleurofferte ⚘(tysm my love! 💞) for this 2020 tag! first off (even tho it's the middle of january already 🤡) i wanted to wish everyone a happy new year! not to get sappy 💀 but even tho i don't rlly talk/interact that much, it brings me a lot of happiness seeing u guys on my dash 🥺💗 i genuinely am supporting and rooting for you all and i wish u guys all the love and kindness in this new year bc you deserve it babes 💖

Rules: answer the questions about 2020 and tag some people to pass it on!

5 Fav Films You Watched in 2020

🎬 Soul (2020) "Your spark isn't your purpose. That last box fills in when you're ready to come live."

🎬 Onward (2020) "I never had a dad, but I always had you."

🎬 Klaus (2019) "A true selfless act always sparks another."

🎬 Diecisiete (2019) "You think I'd be doing all of this if I had no heart?

Maybe you're trying to get it back."

🎬 East Side Sushi (2014) "You know behind every great restaurant here, there are great latinos, in the back, in the kitchen, hidden. Prepping the food and making you all look good. Well, I don't want to be in the back anymore."

5 Fav TV Shows You Watched In 2020

📺 Like in The Movies (2020) "Do you ever feel like you're not the protagonist of your own story?"

📺 Given (2019) "Do you have anyone you like, Haruki-san? If that person suddenly disappeared from this world, what would you say?"

📺 Banana Fish (2018) "My soul is always with you."

📺 Masterchef Junior (2013-) Not a quote but Gordon Ramsay always says the dishes has "finesse" and now i can't stop saying it in everything 😭

📺 Next in Fashion (2020)

5 Fav Songs You Listened To In 2020

🎶 UGH! : BTS 🎶 "You're allowed to be angry, but bothering someone else's life, I don't like"

🎶 Fuyu No Hanashi : Given 🎶 "Just like the snow that hasn't completely melted in the shade I continue on with these feelings inside of me."

🎶 So Beautiful : DPR Ian 🎶 "My love is turning kinda gray / My heart is looking the other way."

🎶 PSYCHE : Joohoney 🎶 "All of the world pay attention"

🎶 Stay Tonight : Chungha 🎶 "Tell me what you wanna do, run away or stay tonight"

Top 5 Albums of 2020

💿 Map of The Soul 7 : BTS

UGH! ⏯ Black Swan ⏯ Inner Child

💿 Fatal Love : Monsta X

Sorry I'm Not Sorry ⏯ Nobody Else ⏯ Guess Who

💿 Ungodly Hour : Chloe x Halle

ROYL ⏯ Forgive Me ⏯ Lonely

💿 Mixtape [ PSYCHE ] : Joohoney

PSYCHE ⏯ Intro (Ambition) ⏯ DIA

💿 Chromatica : Lady Gaga

Replay ⏯ Sour Candy ⏯ Alice

Top 5 Books You Read in 2020

🤡 🤡 🤡

...i haven't read for fun in years 😔 i used to read a book every single day :(( but! i already have a list of ones i want to read so this year for sure im gonna be that girl again 🤧💅🏼

💌 How did you spend your birthday this year? 💌

uh hahaha 🤡 suddenly i can't read 🤡

well...i had to take my drivers test but i had no idea how to park so i mean obvs i was gonna fail 💀 so i got super anxious and then had a breakdown in the back seat when it was getting closer to my turn 😭 my parents had to reschedule it and take me home. i felt like such a disappointment. so it started off absolutely horrible, fortunately the rest of the day was a lot better but oof 🤪

💌 What was your most memorable day? 💌

i honestly cannot remember anything 😭 it's like one big blur but ummm...probably finishing high school! i felt like i could finally breathe 🥲

💌 What was your most memorable meal you had this year? 💌

hmm...ooo probably when my abuelita made us a bunch of paches de papa 🥺 i ate them for a whole week and i loved it entirely...my heart is pache shaped 🤧💘

💌 Did you find any new hobbies or interests in quarantine? 💌

hmm i don't think i got any new ones but i did get to be reminded again on how much i genuinely enjoy making food and like decorating/personalizing things! ☺💖

💌 What was the last big event/thing you remember doing before covid? 💌

uhhh i honestly can't think of anything? i literally don't go out 🤡 like im in chilling in this quarantine lifestyle bc nothing has changed for me 🤪

💌 5 good/positive things that happened to you in 2020? 💌

🌱 i finally escaped high school! 🎓🎉

🌱 i decided to take a gap year and the burnt out student inside me feels like she can finally exhale

🌱 i can't remember if it was in early 2020 or late 2019 but anyways I GOT MY DRIVERS LICENSE 😝😝 i honestly...do not know how i got it...i took 15+ minutes to park (as u can see your girl didn't learn her lesson) but bless that man for passing me i hope u have a beautiful life sir 😭💖 however i have not stepped in the driver's seat since then 💋 i refuse 💋

🌱 i honestly would say watching Soul 🥲💗 i've always been obsessed w my meaning and purpose in life and that movie rlly just hit home for me...i think about it everyday and im literally starting to tear up right now so let me just stop 🤪

🌱 hmm honestly just being home 💗 i now have an excuse to stay in all time and that brings me so much peace in my heart 🤧

💌 Biggest messages or lessons learnt from this year? 💌

that there's a lot to live for. and i rlly want to enjoy it? and like w the gap year i still feel guilty and still feel like im wasting time and not being productive (love being a capricorn 🤪) but im trying to not think like that...and the fact that Soul came out and it's whole message is literally like life is beautiful and it's meant to be lived 🥺 it rlly like...set that for me u know...there's so many little things that truly make me excited about life and i want to enjoy it and after those 4 years in high school of constant work and stress and losing my entire mind maybe i actually deserve it 🥲 so um yeah..sjdkajd

💌 And what are you most looking forward to in 2021? 💌

a lot ☺ everything honestly...wow omg that's so weird asjakjd ahhh 😭😭💘 [insert that paul rudd who would have thought not me meme] but i wanna do sm much!! bake and cook and learn to knit! and personalize my clothes and READ! and watch movies and shows! and i'll also be going back to school so i rlllllllllyyyyyyyy want to learn how to manage my time bc my procrastination truly fucked me in the ass in hs 🤡 but yeah im excited ahh! ☺

And We're Done!

oof my memory is so awful i feel like i can't remember anything that happened in 2020 🤡 this ended up being a bit long 💀 so if u made it to the end...thank u for reading...ily 😚💌 besitos for you! 💞

tagging these cuties 💘: @moonlattae @fluorescente @glossierjoon @ardores @star99 @jooniephoria @ahearthrob @catboyjm @yoongidisease @violetmoonlits @koyan @stardustyoongi @7blueside @m1amor @sobsyub @m8nstruck @souheii @1okyos @virgomoon @alevchaan @jihyoist

#i wanted to tag a lot of people ☺ but of course if u don't want to do it u don't have to! 💌#thank u again dear for tagging me! i honestly rlly enjoyed it! 💖#and if anyone checks out the music/shows/movies i hope u like it! 💌#oh and i added the spotify link to the album if u click on the title! 💃🏻💃🏻#tagged 🥰

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auckie · 3 years

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Yknow I’m pretty introverted. Like I’m not shy at all, I just like it quiet usually and won’t talk unless you’re talking to me and I got shit to add. I like my privacy and LOVE my own company, don’t mind being around old folks and I’m used to putting up with ppl who annoy me bc I’ve always lived with roommates. My best friends tend to move away too, and I’ve made good ones who live hours worth of driving away. So in general covid has probably been easier on me than some freaks who need to like hug and constantly talk. Especially bc I’ve actually been quarantining since it started. Last time I saw a friend was October, like without masks. And she’d been quarantining, working from home too. Two days ago I met with a dude to ice skate and have coffee outdoors. Masks for the most part, short. I don’t even like him too much so it hardly counted. Anyways. My point being I think 9 months is my limit. I can hand 8 months of solitary confinement, doing work I despise and not seeing friends, no concerts or aquarium or thrift stores or drugs or smoking or movies or dick appointments. Trying my damndest not to get a job that would expose my stupid ass old fuck parents to illness even tho it’s meant saving less money to move out after college. Trying to ignore the siren song of moving across country and coming out and going to bar tending school and grad school or whatever the fuck bc atm it’s not practical and above all I’m always trying to look out for what’s best for number one: ME. But I think. 9 months is my absolute limit. Constant geriatric foolishness. Closeted. No privacy. NO LATE NIGHT NACHO FRIES EVEN THOUGH THEYRE BACK. No dick calls that don’t require a week of preplanning and minimum an hour of driving. I know this is peak first world problem complaints I know I’ve had it worse being psychotic and starving and I am very comfortably housed and fed. But the way some friends of mine are acting is driving me insane they show me pics of all their little homies having an orgy and here I am, with like seven preexisting conditions. Waiting patiently for a fucking vaccine! Yknow my base nature is to be one of those fucks who questions like. Flouride in the water evil in the air like I’m not a full blown nut job bc I’m Jewish and gay and Mexican and autistic so I can’t afford to be but beleive me thank Gd I’m not white! And cis! Bc I would be. You know what I’m saying. Look at me I’m spelling ok rihjt now. Well there’s one I’m not gonna fix my phone auto corrects to rihjt bc I misspell it so often. Listen to me. Look at me. Look at me. I am the captain now. I am LOSING it and lexapro ain’t doing shit I am this close to texting my old plug and asking if he still sells tabs and just throwing my hands in the air and going full blown schizo. I MISS BEING A WHORE!!! I WANT TO GO TO THE FAIR AND SUCK COCK!!! I WANT TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH NEW NAUTICAL FREAK FUCKS!!! WHEN?! MY BIRTHDAY IS IN A MONTH AND IF BY MARCH I CANT AT LEAST GET A DATE FOR WHEN I CAN GET VACCINATED I AM SAYING FUCK IT ALL AND MOVING TO LA DO NOT FUCK WITH ME. I don’t mean any of this. Disregard all of this excuse me it’s because I have a dark heart. I’m fine. I’m strong actually. Stronger and better than you. Because you’re out there just having sex all Willy nilly like you’re not living with your MOMMY AND YOUR DADDY YEAH. STOP! Ok

#long #it’s fine #this is on purpose #it’s by my design #my machinations #I just need jan fifth to come then I won’t have to think about texting jon

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gabagaba05 · 3 years

Note

phew it's good to know i'm boy the only one super behind lmao

alright answering questions and asking some more because i have a funny little group of questions that mean nothing but i like to ask

alright so i do bias soonyoung 🙄🙄 didn't think you'd guess so early. i also like seokmin and minghao 🥴🤤 aLSO, WHY HAS SEUNGCHEOL BEEN LOOKING SO CUTE RECENTLY I CANT HANDLE 😩😩

outside of kpop i may or may not have had an emo phase (read: fall out boy, panic!at the disco, my chemical romance). i may or may not still listen emo music. i also LOVE CONAN GRAYYY. idk if he's still indie but i love indie too! probably one of my favorite genres though is classical (instrumental if you wanna get technical 🙄 been yelled at bc cLaSsiCaL iS a TiMe PeRiOd)

the best of us had emo phases ☝️ mine is a little longer lasting three years in middle school. due to this, fall out boy is one of my favorite artists! i’m also a big tchaikovsky fan, and i like doja cat a lot too!

in response to your question about 1518 strasbourg, this is when and where the dancing plague of 1518 happened dnsbsbshja. it's where the phrase "dance till you die" originated lmao. i think it'd be funny to witness this/take part in it. aside from that, id probably fuck with california in 1849 because the gold rush🧎‍♀️, france in the 1880s, or america in the 1980/1990s! i’m a history nerd courtesy of my father, so i choose all my time periods based off some of my favorite historical events! 1880s for architecture mostly, gold rush because lawlessness and the "wild west", and the 80s for the cold war :)

the night is beautiful if you take the time to live it. for me, my favorite time across the board is lunch time-12:00 ish to 3:00 just because the sun is highest and i feel happiest! i like the night when i go out on bike rides because i feel alive/ like i’m not wasting my teen years

GIRL IM NORTHEAST US TOO DJNSBSBSVABWB #goals lmao

i have 1 sister and she's super annoying🙄 i also have 2 cats and a dog (i consider them my siblings)

the most recent show i binged and finished was criminal minds, and i tried supernatural but it's just so bad i cant get past season 11. i’m working on hannibal right now!

the last book i really enjoyed was the summer i turned pretty! i’m a sucker for romance books 😩

questions i've got:

- do you have any siblings or pets?

- do you play any instruments?

- what's your favorite font?

- how many pillows and stuffed animals do you sleep with? (i have too many to count)

- would you rather live in an urban, suburban, or rural setting?

I FRIKIN KNEW U BIASED SOONYOUNG UR VIBES R SO HORANGHE I COULD JUST TELL and i gotta say ur the second person who’s had both minghao and soonyoung on ur bias list and i just find that so funny cuz they’re polar opposites to me (also u have impeccable taste with minghao that boy is my ult and has my whole heart) AND OMG RIGHT??? seungcheol needs to *CHILL*😤

omg yes conan gray😫 this is gonna sound whiny but heather was one of my favorite songs of his before it became a tiktok trend💅

and yes the best of us *did* have emo phases, mine lasted from late 8th grade into the first half of freshman year, so it was kinda short lived but it still happened lol

also, seeing tchaikovsky and doja cat next to each other in a sentence is so funny (but in a weird way i get it lol) i’m not the *biggest* classical/instrumental fan, but i have def used it as study music when songs with lyrics r just too distracting. back to doja tho!! have u listened to her new album?? do u have a fav song off of it? (i haven’t listened to all of it but i do have a couple that i rlly like)

omg how did i not recognize that u were talking abt the dancing plague!!!!!🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ idk if u watch buzzfeed unsolved or watcher but they have a series called puppet history and the episode on the dancing plague is one of my favorites! also omg yes another history nerd who knows abt history b/c of her dad!!!! i’m prob most knowledgeable abt wwii, the civil rights movement in the us, and the spanish civil war cuz those r my dads main interests and i was sat down in front of documentaries abt those topics at the age of like, 3 lol. and wanting to experience the wild west is such a perfect and iconic era to want to live in, and wanting to experience the cold war is so funny (b/c i’m sure the ppl who were living it without knowing the ending like us felt the exact opposite lol)

and yes the night is so beautiful when u just give it ur attention. like, on my birthday it was raining and i didn’t have school the next day (and my birthdays i’m may so it was pretty warm) so i just went outside at like, midnight ish and listened to the rain and crocheted and it was truly so nice 😫 also omg last year when covid had us all at home i went for a bike ride almost every day after school to just get out of my room and it was so nice!! it was my bike from when i was like, 12 but i’m 4’11 so i was still able to ride it without a problem lsnsksns

and yes pets r absolutely siblings, my cat prob acts more like s typical sibling than my two younger siblings do lsnsksns (srsly tho my cat is an asshole she fucked up my leg the other day cuz i gave her food late smh)

omg hun season 11?? how many seasons of that goddamn show r there??? i couldn’t get past episode 1😭 (i rlly only started watching it b/c of dean from gilmore girls sksnksns) the show i’m currently bingeing rn tho is downton abbey, as i’m sure u can tell from how much downton shit u had to scroll past to find my answer to ur last ask alskkskjsjs (i’m so so sorry 😭)

ooo that sounds like a rlly good book title, what was it abt? i just finished a secret history (which FUCKED ME UP MY GOD THERES A LOT OF MURDER) and i’m currently working on the sequel to my name is asher lev by chaim potok (who is one of my fav jewish/classic literature authors and also just a rlly good author in general)

for ur questions:

-yes i do have siblings! two younger (one four and a half years younger and one a little over nine years younger than me so i’m the oldest by quite a bit lol) and i do have a pet! my cat sweetie who is an asshole who i love very much

-i took piano for like a year in second grade but then third grade happened and i was rlly bad at math so my parents switched from paying for piano lessons to paying for math tutoring lessons and i now remember literally nothing from piano lessons sksnksns

-i,,, dont think i have a favorite font? i do like to write in cursive and have a collection of calligraphy pens that i bust out on special occasions so there’s that i guess lol

-ok i have two normal pillows, one chair/armrest/pillow thing (idk if that makes sense but that’s the only way i know how to describe it sksnksns), a body pillow, and a single stuffed bear that live on my bed

-ooo so this is difficult for me cuz i technically live in a suburb but we’re *right next* to a major city in my state (like i’m a 20ish min car ride from my states baseball stadium and a 20 min walk to the college of the major city) so this has kinda made me rlly like both? like, i like the quiet of the suburbs but i cant handle not being able to walk to the closest boba shop or movie theatre or bookshop but i also don’t rlly love the noise and lights that there are in the city at night. so idk sksnksns

what do u like more tho? the city or the suburbs? also since u asked the question i’m assuming u have a fav form and i’m now rlly interested in finding out what it is lol

goodnight!❤️ (or good morning if ur seeing this in the morning since i’m answering this at midnight lol)

#🐯 anon #caratanonevent3 #asked and answered

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a-simple-complexity · 3 years

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Things about the creepypasta improv thing my close friend and I have been doing since 4th or 5th grade (maybe longer):

- My character doesn't really have a cp name yet but has been around for 401 years

- My character, when not at the mansion, is roomies with JTK (and he steals cheese its)

- Vivian's (the close friend) character is close to Slenderman and has a older sister bond with Sally

- Aside from the Jeff The Cheeze Itz Snatcher gag we have more running gags

- Such as Masky locking Toby in the closet when he's annoying only to turn around and see Toby standing there.... MENACINGLY (lol)

- LJ punts Mr Widemouth across the mansion weekly

- EJ is no longer allowed to cook for others after the barbeque of 2017. We miss you, Butler Bill

- Tuesdays and Thursdays Viv's character takes pets and children out the mansion for a playdate while everyone else has some fun

- Viv's Hidden Stash of Tuna TM

- My Hidden Stash of Vodka and Rum TM

- My character might have a problem but then again immortals aren't really affected by alcohol like most mortals are

- Speaking about my character: Holy. Pets.

- They have a bunch of guard dogs (despite them all being guard dogs they are pampered like you wouldn't believe)

- Pastas respect COVID stuff. Slender ordered everyone to scatter until it's mellowed out alot. Slender caught it at some point. They say get the vaccine and wear ya damn mask.

- There's a "Community Garden". It's just a few pitcher plants, some Butterworts, a killer cow plant (courtesy of Ben pulling some strings), a small patch of wither roses (courtesy of Herobrine), and a oran berry plant (courtesy of a few poke-pastas), rose bushes, etc

- Holidays are fun too

- Christmas time is filled with my character and Viv's taking Sally, Jane, Clockwork, and Nina out for a "girls" night

- Granted Nina only gets taken along bc despite the love-hate relationship between my character and Jeff, Jeff deserves time away from Nina during the holidays at least

- Also despite Jeff hating Nina he appreciates the knives she gives him (and return he gives her some sort of card)

- Due to staying in the vents constantly and stalking everyone my character gets everyone what they think they like would like

- Christmas lights everywhere. Splendor always gets Offender to put the star on top the comically large tree just bc

- Despite it not being Christmas music, everyone listens to Hotel California by The Eagles

- and watches Christmas movies (what was that Christmas movie with Tim Allen?)

- Everyone plays in the snow. Jeff decides to start a snowball fight and Sally makes a snow man.

- Everyone wears something festive and it's normally an ugly sweater thanks to Trender

- Spiked nog anyone?

- Thanksgiving includes everyone gathering together and having fun

- A small hunting trip is planned instead of a football game (the hunt takes place the day prior bc no one wanna miss the parade)

- Sally's favorite float is the Charlie brown float

- You know how the president pardons a turkey? Slender pardons a victim (and has been doing it since meeting Viv's character bc of a joke Viv made)

- My character makes mashed potatoes or some sort of really outdated dish from the 1700's

- The Slender Bros, Viv's character, Sally, Toby, Smile Dog, Jeff, and Nina all watch the dog show after the parade

- Nina is kinda allergic to dogs and doesn't really like them but bc of her lingering obsession with Jeff she puts up with it

- Offender and Trender argue over what dog they think should have won (funny to watch to grown immortal-ass men argue over this)

- Slender carves the turkey

- The pardoned victim is allowed to stay for dinner granted a majority of memories get changed (not really erased, just changed)

- My character, Jeff, and Ben all walk through the woods before dinner and get fucking plastered (and think no one notices....everyone notices)

- the week of Thanksgiving the tree gets put up (acceptable if it's the week of Thanksgiving, any other time then it's just weird)

- My characters mom, (considered the co-founder of Hell) pops in, steals a couple slices of pie, and leaves

- Halloween is celebrated kind of like Thanksgiving and Christmas

- My character decorates the mansion with various bones

- 31 Days of Horror Movies (at some point it's decided to watch Earnest Scared Stupid and some of the serious dog lovers opt out)

- The Slender Brothers dress up as the three musketeers. Splendor is Porthos, Offender is Athos, Slender is D'artagnan and, Trender is Aramis

- Jeff and my character do a duel costume by dressing of as Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer from Cats (musical not movie, duh) alternatively they dress as Rum Tum Tugger and Mr. Mistoffelees.

- Sally dresses as Carrie or a fairy princess

- Jane, Clockwork, Nina, Viv's Character dress up as four of the five muses from Hercules (Viv changes last minute to a cat due to her character having cat ears and a cat tail)

- Toby, Masky, and Hoodie originally wanted to dress as the three musketeers but after slender took that idea they decide to dress up as separate things. Toby dresses as Masky. Masky dresses as the phantom of the opera and Hoodie is a ghost.

- Smile dog dresses as a hot dog :P

- A small hunting trip is planned and Jane and Clockwork take Sally trick or treating

- Everyone finishes the month with A Night are Before Christmas (a classic)

- Not many celebrate Valentine's day

- It's really only the Slender Bros, Viv's character, My character, Nina, Toby, Masky & Hoodie, and Sally

- and by Sally I mean she just leaves candy from the candy bowl everywhere

- Masky and Hoodie make a day of it since Slender gives them holidays off. They eat cheesecake in the woods and just spend the day together.

- Toby spends the day alone but still celebrates in his own way. Eating waffles.

- Offender (in our improv thing he's not....yeah....he's just a hopeless romantic that does consensual hook ups) and my character spend his their leaving roses out at restaurants and going to bars for hookups. They have a bunch of stuff worked out.

- Viv and Slender spend the day in bed or lounging in the living room watching some cheesy comedy.

- Trender spends the day as a self care day seeing as he's alone at the moment. Every day is self care for him but it's even more on Valentine's Day. He goes all out and even treats himself to a fancy restaurant.

- Splendor likes going to neighborhoods and leaving cute little poems on people's doors then heading to the zoo for personal time.

- Nina harasses Jeff who, in return, leaves the mansion and heads to the apartment him and my character share.

- New Years is something everyone celebrates. While some have resolutions others have new quotas they're trying to meet.

- Sally tries to stay up and watch the ball drop (she's only seen it drop twice before falling asleep)

- My character and Viv's character get shit faced

- Jeff normally sits there with a beer in one hand and Smile Dog beside him

- that's really all that consists of New Years

More about our two characters:

My character:

- a 401 year old demon thing

- in our universe hell is ran by the 7 devil's as well as my characters mother. Hells more of a city than a pit.

- Has lived with Jeff as a roommate since late 2018

- Use to be with Herobrine but broke it off with him for unknown reasons.....they're civil and still good friends. He's one of those people that could make a good boyfriend but is best as a close friend

- On their 400th birthday a crackening happened in Hell that enhanced their powers and they were hunted by Zalgo. Luckily a truce was established.

- Has been by Viv's character side since her characters soul was first created. More in Viv's Character's section

- Y'know those dogs that were talked about in the beginning? They primarily stay at their mothers mansion in Hell.

- Also all cats go to hell but they don't get hurt. They like to watch. Sometimes if you're lucky you might get a celebrity's cat. That's how my character got their lovely (and kinda douchy cat) Delilah. She likes to pee all over people's suits just bc she's like that.

- They were born in 1620 but are progressive

- Still liked fashion through the ages

- Maybe not the health damaging ones

- Is able to fly and teleport but due to back pain and migraines prefers to stay grounded and rarely use teleportation

- Doesn't actually kill much but has had souls sold to them (job as a demon....doesn't really need one though....is Crossroads Demon)

- Had a one night stand with Trender about 240ish years ago

- Does have proxies....it's those souls they take and barter around for

- Souls in hell can be used for currency depending on whether or not they sold their soul

- Anyways, was at some point known for having an obsession with chainsaws and hoodies...still has a bunch of hoodies and a chainsaw but doesn't really use them much (is more of a flannel and gun person now)

Viv's Character:

- her character managed to get everyone's favorite dwarfed rag doll cat from the internet

- Her character use to be with Entity 303 and ended up Slenderman

- that makes two of us who were with a Minecraft pasta and ended up with a slender brother lol

- I think her character is called Kat or KC so for now imma call her character Kat

- Kat has an addiction to tuna and milk

- Also has cat ears and a cat tail which are both very sensitive

- when Kat's soul was created my character was created. Even though Kat has been through many many reincarnations my character has always been alongside her. Even though my character doesn't die they act as a guardian towards Kat.

- Has a tendency to sit up in the cat walks and within the walls of the mansion alongside my character

- Gets lost in the forest from time to time and needs help getting out

- Despite being with Slender she has her own room to store her weapons and stash her plans.

- If I'm not mistaken Kat also was with Toby for a short while but doesn't talk about it much. Imagine dating your ex-lovers boss lol

- Disappears for up to a week sometimes without saying where she's going and when she comes back she acts as if nothing happened

- When both Kat and my character started living in the mansion they shared a room for about a year.

- Kat had a personal garden that was completely wiped out by Zalgo before a treaty was established and she still hasn't forgave him

- The garden mostly had marigolds and a few small plants. The only one that really mattered was Audrey the Venus fly trap.

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h4edes · 3 years

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i was tagged by the loveliest @fl0ra, thank you for the tag <3

Rules: answer the questions about 2020 and tag some people to pass it on!

Five favourite films you watched in 2020? 10 thinks i hate about you, Jodha Akbar, Zindagi na milegi dobara, Interstellar, Black swan

Five favourite TV shows you watched in 2020? Euphoria, Gilmore Girls, Dark, Sky Castle, Sherlock

Five favourite songs you listened to in 2020? Black Swan - bts, Rain - bts, Still with you - Jungkook, Dancing in the rain - Rad Museum, City of Stars - Lalaland OST, She - Harry Styles, Strange - Agust D, What do you think - Agust D, When I RIP - Labrinth, Freak - LDR, Salvatore - LDR, Greek God - Conan Gray, Arabella - Arctic Monkeys (that clearly isnt 5 but hey i tried to limit myself)

Top five albums of 2020? map of the soul : Scene - Rad Museum, Euphoria OST - Labrinth, D-2 - Agust D, MOTS-7 - BTS, Honeymoon - LDR

Top five books you read in 2020? The Daughter of Sun - Ira Mukhoty, The Blue Umbrella - Ruskin Bond, The Palace of Illusions - Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni, Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden, The Immortals of Meluha - Amish Tripathi

How did you spend your birthday this year? Late July, we were still in partial quarantine so i spent a peaceful day at home. Some of my cousins came around at my place, and the constant deliveries resulted in 4 cakes for me to cut which was interesting. I went book shopping and got coffee with my dad at the end of the day :)

What was your most memorable day this year? lmfao my boards result day, i was anticipating the day for a long while so yea, also had a sleepover with my friend on the same day it was quite fun ^^

What was the most memorable meal you had this year? At a grand ass dinner during the start of the year.

Did you find any new hobbies or interests in quarantine? ou yes, i tried my hands at a lot of stuff. I started learning Photoshop. I started boxing and picked up german and yes!! i started sketching :D

What was the last big thing you remember doing B. C. (before Covid)? my exams lol, the lockdown started 2 days after my exams ended so yea that was the last thing i remember BC.

Five good or positive things that happened to you in 2020? I worked on myself and my health, gained confidence :>, made some new and great friends, got better at art, chose the subject stream of my wish and somewhat figured what i wanna do in future.

Biggest messages or lessons learned from this year? Consistency is the key, No one cares, You are your own person, Learn from each day, One step at a Time, You are stronger than you know.

What are you most looking forward in 2021? travelling once covid ends, 12th grade!!, unis and shit (though im more scared about them than excited but yea its there), becoming a better person :)

im tagging @student-by-day @min-howl @alyssiasstudy @adhyayana-v @sadcypher @architectofunderstanding

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