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#it's been. five months. soh what are you doing...

chaoticloving · 1 year

Text

new years, new family

harry styles x reader (SOH masterlist)

summary: y/n meets anne and gemma for the first time, and harry's just happy. || w/c: 2.2k

a/n: felt i should post a bit more before im back to class, enjoy and have a good new year!

Anne was an amazing mother. She was kind, empathetic, and had the strong will that helped her do what was right. Harry loved his mum too. Despite all the arguments and the fame, he has always had faith in her. He truly felt the love and comfort that a mother should give any child—and he still does to this day as an adult.

Anne prided on being someone her kids could go too if they needed an ear and always gave her kids space, but that didn’t stop her from being curious about their lives. She would sometimes sneak in a “do you like someone” or “when do you think you’ll have kids” every now and then, but they knew she just had their best interest at heart.

Anne was very careful about what she asked Harry though, not to say that she would be blunt with Gemma, but there were certain questions that would sound too much like a TMZ journalist asking questions. So, Anne would turn to Gemma to maybe slip some detail about Harry’s life.

The last time Gemma came around her mothers though, she did tell Anne that Harry’s got a crush that sort-of, maybe, turned into his girlfriend. “But don’t quote me on this. I don’t know for sure.” Gemma reminded her mother.

But Anne was bubbling with excitement. She knew the girlfriend in question is Y/n, the women Harry might of suitably alluded to having a crush on, and she couldn’t be more excited for her boy. She reminded herself though that she can’t be too pushy, but she can watch the young actresses movies.

After just under six months of dating, Harry decides he wants to tell his family.

“I know my mum won’t tell and Gemma will just make fun of me, I just don’t like keeping you a secret from everybody important in my life.” Harry confessed, kissing his lovers face all over as a way to win her over.

Y/n had a habit of overthinking, but seeing her boyfriends puppy dog eyes she just couldn’t say no.

“I believe you.” She kissed him back. “Just don’t embarrass me when you tell them.”

The next morning Harry was practically jumping from excitement, yet feeling like he needed the bathroom every five seconds from nerves. Harry knew his family wouldn’t hate Y/n or everything of the sort. It was just the fact they would be one of the first to know and their secret relationship wouldn’t be a secret anymore. He knew Y/n wasn’t just in it because of the the secrecy, but the fact still didn’t make him feel any better.

Harry powered through, and made the call.

The line rang a couple times before the cheery voice of Anne rang through. “Hi Honey, so good to hear from you!”

Harry laughed, walking around his London flat aimlessly. “It’s nice to talk to you too. Been feelin’ so busy from work that I think I’ll go crazy.”

“Oh no, well remember to take breaks and focus on you.” Anne thought this was her chance. “Do you have someone you can talk to or someone you feel comfortable with? Go out with them and forget about work.”

Harry blushed, he was in the kitchen and he could see the back of y/n. He thinks she is getting her morning coffee all ready as well as a cup for him.

“Yeah, actually, I’ve met someone.”

The pure joy running through Anne's body was something she last felt when Gemma told her about her last boyfriend.

"And is it who I think it is?"

"Have you been talkin' to Gemma recently?" Harry ask, false annoyance slipped through his voice. "But uh-" He cleared his throat. "Yeah, I think so. "

Anne practically screamed through the phone, excitement radiating though.

"But we are talking about Y/n, right?"

"Yes! Yes, oh my goodness, you finally are together! You two look so adorable together and I know to never buy into something TMZ or Daily Mail says but I saw your little photo and then when Gemma finally told me that you told her that you were talking to Y/n I started watching all of her movies so far and she is very talented, although, i have to admit, when she kissed that other boy in the movie I kept thinking how you would been feeling and--"

A couple seconds into her rant, Harry put Anne on speaker phone and was suffering from the adrenaline rushing though him. He was coming down from the high of fear and going into a tired yet happy state.

Y/n handed Harry a cup of coffee, half cream with a ton of sugar added in, then sat down next to him with her own coffee in hand. Y/n was trying to hide her smile through a look of embarrassment, but the actress couldn't quite hide her emotions from Harry.

Harry nudged Y/n, a smile on his rosey face. They look at each other with such adoration that it was sickening to anyone single.

"Harry? Harry, you still there?" Anne's voice snapped Harry from Y/n's trance on him.

"Yeah, I'm here mum." Harry chided, clearing his throat. "Just got a bit side tracked. What did you say?"

"When are you two coming over then? I know Gemma is coming round for new years so six could work, maybe five, or is that too early for new years?"

Y/n's eyes went wide with shock as she heard Anne's words then she could've sworn her heart stopped beating when Harry replied, as nonchalantly as ever, sure mum.

"Six'll work." Harry said, saying his goodbyes. He hung up his phone and smiled at Y/n. "You excited?"

"Definitely."

...

Y/n was not excited. Not in the slightest.

Y/n and Harry spent the holidays with their own families. They called each other, constantly; and much to Annes delight, and Gemma's partial annoyance, they've been hearing all about Y/n constantly. But a few day's after the holidays, they both met up at Harry's flat to make the journey to Anne's.

Currently, they were in Harry's Range Rover, close to Anne's house. They left a couple hours after Anne's call, knowing the drive is long and traffic would most likely be a nightmare. Harry has made the long drive quite a few times since he has moved to London, he knew it like the back of his hand; Y/n, while she hasn't made this specific drive, has gone on plenty of long trips in her life.

Yet, this drive, was pure torture.

She didn't want to tell Harry thats she is scared. She knows Harry would turn the car around and say it's no big deal, but he would be disappointed.

It wasn't like she didn't like what she has heard about his family, the opposite in fact. It's what they have heard about her.

Currently, the media is portraying Y/n as a serial dater, using someone for a night, or weekend if they're lucky, then dumping them and repeat. And poor Harry is the unconfirmed boyfriend that Y/n is dragging along for a long time.

They got all that from one group photo at a party last month.

It's not true. She knows it's not true, Harry knows it's not true, but does Anne and Gemma know it's not true? Anne invited her when there wasn't too much drama going on, but now? She was terrified for what would happen.

Y/n is just glad that it is just Gemma and Anne tonight, as much as she would want to meet Robin or Desmond, she can't deal with anymore people in one night.

"Okay so a couple tips." Harry started, turning down the volume of the song on the radio, Fleetwood Mac obviously. "One, don't ask Gemma if she is dating someone unless you want her to give you a silent treatment."

She nodded.

"Don't mention fame or anything too out of touch. Not really specific, just general advice because my mum always scoffs at people who flaunt their money."

"You say this in your custom two-hundred-thousand car." Y/n joked, trying to keep her cool.

"I got teased a bit." Harry shrugs, flipping the indicator and turning down a neighborhood. "But that's just teasing."

Harry sighs as he pulls to the side of the road in front of a nice house. It was cozy, yet big enough for a couple and a guest or two. "Ready?"

"Nothing else?"

"Not really sure." Harry fidgeted. "You're the first they would or could meet so..."

Y/n just nods as Harry's voice trails off, it's all she can do. Their thoughts mimic each other.

She's meeting her future in-laws.

I'm meeting my future in-laws.

The only difference was the tone. Excitement and fear.

Harry walked round to the other side, opening her door and holding his hand to help her out. Y/n felt like the paparazzi was watching her, but instead of flashing lights it was curtains suspiciously moving.

Harry knocked on the door, hand in a death grip with Y/n's. "Deep breaths. They're going to love you."

"Harry!" Anne swung open the door and smiled, when she looked over she saw Y/n, causing her to smile brighter and nearly bring tears to the women's eyes. "Y/n! I'm so glad you're here. Come in come in!"

Y/n had her red carpet smile on. She was carful to not make her smile look too obnoxious, but not like she was not excited to be here.

"Ms Twist you're house is beautiful." She complemented, earning her first awe of the night.

"Please, call me Anne." She blushed. "And thank you sweetheart."

"Where's Gem?" Harry asked, taking his shoes off and brushing his hand on Y/n's.

"Living room. She's on the phone with someone." She winked and walked into the house. "Come in, I've got some nibbles for you two."

Y/n mouthed, someone?. Harry just rolled his eyes and mouthed, "ex." She nodded and followed Harry into the the house.

"Gemma get off the phone." They heard Anne yell. "Say hi to the couple."

Gemma’s jaw dropped as she hugged Harry. She saw Y/n and her smile grew. "You're the famous Y/n we've been hearing about!"

Y/n nervously laughed but nodded, excepting the hug happily. Harry sighed thought, face turning a shade of pink. "It's so nice to meet you!" Y/n was smiling. Their first impressions were so far good. They seemed excited to meet her, and Y/n was able to breath finally now.

"Not long until midnight, so I've got to get going on the dinner." Anna decided.

"Let me help!" Y/n jumped at the opportunity to get to know Anne and get in her good graces. Following her to the kitchen and leaving the siblings behind.

"Mum's going to love her." Gemma whispered to Harry, shoving his shoulder. Harry just blushed, happy that his girlfriend is getting along with his family.

Midnight struck, cheers and hugs were done, and a sneaky kiss between the two young and in love celebrities were shared. Anne was tired, so the rest decided to retire to their rooms for the night. Harry took their two bags up to the stairs and revealed the small room that housed talented singer: Harry Styles.

It had grey walled with posters hung all around. As Y/n looked closer behind the records and old CDs tapped to the wall, she found a poorly covered up dent in the wall. "What's this?"

"Something that will definitely give my mum a heart attack." Harry smiled, dropping the bags. "Was playing with some of my friends and one "accidentally" threw a nerf gun at me."

"Sounds fun." She mused, continuing to look around the room. "Seems like your music taste has not changed." Y/n noticed the Joni Mitchell collection, right next to the Stevie Nicks one.

"Nope." Harry sighed, standing next to his girlfriend, but she could sense the smile forming on his face. "I'm glad I threw out all of those porno mags."

"So thoughtful." Y/n pushed Harry away as he laughed. Harry grabbed her and threw themselves onto the small, twin sized bed that had superman sheets on.

"Superman? At sixteen?" She asked.

"Hey, don't hate on superman." Harry defends. "These sheets are too comfy to get rid of."

They laugh a bit more, settling slowly into the silence that the small room gives them. They can hear Gemma talking to someone through the wall, though they don't mind--they're too wrap up in themselves to care.

"Think your family likes me?" She asked.

"Oh definitely. You're much better then any guy Gemma brought round." Harry remarked. "Plus mum loves you loads, it's really easy to see. She doesn't just offer her special margaritas to anyone."

"I'm glad." Is all Y/n says. She's tired now, a long stressful day of nerves really washed her out, but thankfully, she's got an amazing boyfriend to sleep next to.

"I'm glad you got to meet them." Harry admits. "No way you can break up with me now. Mum'll miss you too much."

"I'd miss her too. Not that I'd ever want to break up with you."

Harry kissed her sweetly, "Good, because I'd never do that too. Wouldn't even think of it."

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n0-eyedtaissa · 3 years

Note

He said you called on his birthday. You were off by like ten days- Ruthie

There was a time in Ruthie’s life when her mother was good and present. Emilie Ann would wake her kids up in the morning with the smell of pancakes and the sound of Fleetwood Mac playing on the radio on her favorite station, 106.1 The Riot! . It was strange to Ruthie to think back to the times in which her mother was a “good mother”, because after her dad died everything changed.

Emilie Ann was flighty, manic, and unmedicated. Her mental health had taken a big hit after the loss of her husband. No one was there to remind her to take her medication so she didn't. No one was there to remind her that bills were due, so she didn��t pay them. Emilie started drinking more, drinking earlier, sending Ruthie to walk Sweet Pea to school over at Southside Elementary. Ruthie got a job at Pop’s so that she would be able to have money to pay for bills and for groceries; she had to call the electric company and argue her way into getting the bill put in her name and not her moms, even though Ruthie was only sixteen.

Later than year, Emilie started disappearing for weeks on end, leaving an envelope of money on the table and claiming to be staying with old friend or new suitors. Weeks turned into months, and soon Ruthie and Sweet Pea hadn’t seen their mom in almost two years.

Ruthie liked to pretend that she didn’t care, that she didn’t need her mother or anyone else to help her out because time had proven that she could get by just fine on her own. She worked at Pop’s every day after school and all day on the weekends, she woke Sweet Pea up for school every day and made the two of them breakfast, made sure he got dressed and was out the door and on the way to the Fogarty’s house where Maria would take him and Fangs to school. Ruthie was doing well in school, she got a good score on her PSATs and an A- on her midterm paper for English class (Dante got a B+, which she was proud of considering that she finished his paper for him). She made enough money to pay for utilities and had enough to spend on snacks at Ignacio’s bodega when her friends got hungry and too stoned. She didn’t need her mother. She didn't.

September was a busy month for the Soh-Peterson siblings. Ruthie and Sweet Pea’s birthdays were five days apart and there was always going to be some sort of celebration of the fact, no matter how much they told both Maria and Atzi that they weren’t really in the mood for celebrating.

Both Ruthie and Sweet Pea absolutely hated their birthdays. It was always awkward and uncomfortable, a lackluster day filled with reminders of what they were missing. There was no Mom there to make their favorite birthday cakes (red velvet and carrot cake, respectively), no Dad there to take pictures of their smiling faces as they opened the few presents they got. It felt fake and put-on for the sake of others, rather than their own personal enjoyment. But Ruthie and Sweet Pea smiled and told the Fogarty’s thank you, told the Abrejo’s that they appreciated their efforts and that they appreciated knowing that there would always be some sense of family and community they could turn to.

“You know our doors are always open for you two” Maria says, looking Ruthie dead in the face to make sure that she understood.

Ruthie nods her head yes and tries not to flinch when Maria sets another plate of food in front of her, poking the notches of vertebrae behind her neck that poked out, complaining that both her and Sweet Pea were too skinny and needed to put some meat on their bones.

“Thank you, Abuela” The siblings say in unison, making eye contact from across the table and sharing a knowing glance.

The “Birthday Party” was rather painless, or as painless as an unwanted party could be. The Abuelas made sure that everyone’s bellies were stuffed with warm food and sweet cake, despite the protests from everyone saying that they were physically unable to eat another bite. Neither Ruthie nor Sweet Pea expected presents so that was a pleasant surprise. Sweet Pea got a big plastic bag of hand-me-down clothes that Maria had been saving. Fangs gives him a new lego set and CD gives him one of the big jawbreakers from the big glass jar at Ignacio’s. Atzi gives Ruthie a yellow sundress she’d been sewing for her (with the stipulation that Ruthie needed to come over for final fittings and alterations). Spyder made her a mix CD and said that her real present would have to be given to her when the adults weren’t around. Dante said that he was the one who paid for Ruthie’s “real present” and Fangs gives her a plastic beaded bracelet with her name on it, something that he had made in art class. It wasn’t much but it was way more than either Ruthie or Sweet Pea expected so they were happy with their presents nonetheless.

The siblings walk home tired, full, and happy. Their respective birthdays come and go in the blink of an eye and soon both Sweet Pea and Ruthie move on. Sweet Pea assembles all of his legos and moves on to charting how many licks it would take to get to the next layer of his jawbreaker, though he has to restart too many times because he forgot that he was supposed to be counting. Ruthie stands on top of the kitchen chair in the middle of the Abrejo’s living room and Atzi only manages to stick her with a pin two times. She puts her bracelet from Fangs away in her drawer because she liked it too much to see it get broken.

Ruthie gets home from school one day and the phone is ringing off the hook. Dropping her backpack and her house keys in the entryway, she rushes to grab the phone before whoever was on the other line hung up.

“Hello?” Ruthie says sharply into the receiver, somewhat out of breath. She’s met with silence on the other end but she can hear moving and breathing. She looks at the digital numbers on the phone and recognizes the area code. “Mom?”

“Oh my, Ruthann, you sound more grown up every time” Emilie coos into the phone, sounding so syrupy sweet that Ruthie can’t help but feel sick to her stomach.

“You wouldn't be saying that if you were actually here...” Ruthie is too tired to pretend to enjoy hearing from her mother. “What do you want, Emilie?”

Emilie scoffs on the other line. “Now young lady, is that any way to talk to your mama? I was just calling to tell you happy belated birthday but I guess you don’t wanna hear it from me...Hell, Ruthann, I called your brother on his birthday. He at least wanted to talk to me.”

“Yeah right, Emilie.” Ruthie liked using her mother’s first name. She liked how sharp it could sound coming out of her mouth, sharp enough to grate at her mother’s nerves and make her get to the point faster, skipping around the fake pleasantries. “He said you called on his birthday...his birthday was on the 17th. You were off by like ten days.”

Ruthie rolled her eyes and cradled the phone against her ear as she hopped up onto the kitchen counter, cracking the window and grabbing her cigarettes and ash tray from the top shelf of the cupboard where Sweet Pea couldn’t reach.

“Don’t I get a few points for trying?”

Ruthie laughs. “Close but not close enough” She hangs up the phone without letting Emilie make her rebuttal and unplugs the phone from the wall so that no one could angrily call back. She knew that Emilie would come back eventually, whenever Ruthie and Sweet Pea would least expect it, but she had time to worry about that later.

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shhhushhh · 5 years

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Get to know you tag - Mimo Giocatore.

Tagged by my loveliest Pru @treason-and-plot Let’s see what this scraggy f*er has to say.

Mario: Oh, now you are coming to get to know me - after some unknown chicks and ugly mofo apes you came to me. Again. To the good stuff... Bene! Let’s see what you got.

► Name ➔ Should I still need to introduce myself?! Seriously?! ► Are you single ➔ No! I’m in a relationship with the nicest and sweetest and most gorgeous girl one can ever imagine! ► Are you happy ➔ I’ve never been happier. ► Are you angry? ➔ At this exact moment - yes. With Jessica’s grandma. But I’m trying to stay as cool as possible for my baby's sake. ► Are your parents still married ➔ Of course they are! I mean, they are considered something like a power couple in Monte Vista.

NINE FACTS

► Birth Place ➔ Monte Vista ► Hair Color ➔ ► Eye Color ➔ You should know by now I’m the sweet mascarpone boy with the coffee/chocolate hair and eyes. I’m like tiramisu, but much better ;) ► Birthday ➔ July 7 ► Mood ➔ Horny. All the time. ► Gender ➔ Male. ► Summer or winter ➔ Summer. ► Morning or afternoon ➔ I used to hate mornings until I started waking up with warm smooth Jess wrapped around me. Now I love them!

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

► Are you in love ➔ Truly, madly, deeply. No man has ever been or will ever be more in love than me. ► Do you believe in love at first sight ➔ I do, yes. It’s just that I didn’t recognize it as such at first. ► Who ended your last relationship ➔ I’m currently in my first and only relationship and I have no intention ending it. ► Have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ The only heart I care of told me that she loves me yesterday so... ► Are you afraid of commitments ➔ Not anymore. Being committed to the right person is the best feeling of responsibility ever. ► Have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ Jessica. 10 million times. ► Have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ I don’t know and I don’t care. ► Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ ?!?

SIX CHOICES

► Love or lust ➔ I don’t see them as two separate things anymore. ► Lemonade or iced tea ➔ Lemonade, made by pappa. I can’t wait for Jess to try it! ► Cats or Dogs ➔ Little monkeys. :P ► A few best friends or many regular friends ➔ I don’t know anymore. Since Jessica came into my life true friendship looks so different to me. Probably a few best friends. And definitely, your partner being one of them. ► Wild night out or romantic night in ➔ A wild night inside Jessica :P ► Day or night ➔ Whatever. Yes, of course, next to Jess.

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

► Been caught sneaking out ➔ Ehehehehe! *looks at his fingernails* Of, course not. Never been caught, I mean. ► Fallen down/up the stairs ➔ If you are referring to falling down drunk, we Giocatores never get drunk. We know how to drink like pros. ► Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ YESSSS!!! For a whole fucking month!! But it worthed every second of the waiting. ► Wanted to disappear ➔ Never. The World would be such a sad and ugly place without me.

FOUR PREFERENCES

► Smile or eyes ➔ Smile that reaches the eyes every time. Have you seen Jessica smiling? It’s brighter and warmer than all the suns in the Universe together. ► Shorter or Taller ➔ My tall girl with her endless legs. ► Intelligence or Attraction ➔ My gorgeous, smart and super talented girl. ► Hook-up or Relationship ➔ In Relationship with my girl. Am I pathetic? Well, I don’t give a fuck. I LOVE HER!!!!

FAMILY

► Do you and your family get along ➔ With 2/3 of it. But the other day mamma said on the phone pappa says hi next to her. And I actually heard him saying it. So I’m very optimistic. ► Would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ No. Not at all. If you know my family and my girlfriend you would know it’s impossible. I don’t even have a messed up room anymore :D:D ► Have you ever ran away from home ➔ No. ► Have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ Ehehehe. With a mother like mine, it can’t happen. She would be the happiest if I and LuLu live there until we become 89.

FRIENDS

► Do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ No. I’m not a very secretive person. That trait went completely to my twin sister. She is big on secrets. ► Do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ Again... I don’t know anymore. I’m not that keen on my buddies anymore. They are more bugging me with their behavior than amusing me. But there are some new players on the field like Devin - I like him a lot. My boss Victor is quite pleasant company too - he is just different but in a good way. Well, of course, Jess! She is my best friend actually. Just don’t tell LuLu - she is a bit possessive of her people. But yeah, some laid back dude with similar interests and SOH to mine would be nice. ► Who is your best friend ➔ I said it already - Jessica. And LuLu! LuLu, LuLu... ► Who knows everything about you ➔ Jessica and mamma. Yeah, I’m henpecked and a mama's boy all at once - and proud. Suck on it.

#sims 3 #get to know you tag #Mario Giocatore

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mybukz · 5 years

Text

Fiction: To Where I Belong by Peter Soh

Image by Tim Wright on Unsplash

“You do not know how to teach because you are not a trained teacher. There is nothing to do with whether you know the syllabus or not—you are just not fit to be a teacher.“

I sat in the meeting room looking at my PowerPoint slides. Tears started to well up in my eyes, but I had to keep them from running down my face. Ms Angeline looked puzzled. She thought today’s interview was just a procedural one since my first interview with the principal was impressive.

“I will further discuss with the human resource manager on your suitability of this job. We will call you again.” My interviewer stormed out of the meeting room without giving me a handshake.

Later, Ms Angeline did not expect this to happen. Her face was filled with apprehension. She told me my contract was all ready and I could start scouring for a place to live.

“Wait for me. I will be right back.”

“Sure. Thank you.” I looked at her and smiled weakly, and my eyes darted over to my slides again. *

This was my umpteenth interview. I was confident that I was going to nail the interview this time and everything would, once again, fall into place. I was at the end of my tether after travelling up and down, from Malacca to Kuala Lumpur, Penang to Sarawak, just to attend numerous job interviews that ended in vain.

Just like my mixed ancestry that manifested in my outlook and lifestyle—tanned skin and big rounded eyes, and speaking a patois concocted from Malay, Hokkien, and sometimes, the English language—which often confused the others, my ability to excel in both the Science and the Arts was not appreciated, and sometimes, confused the prospective employers. Transgressing the norm or staying in between the poles was unwelcomed and undesirable. It could be a deadly threat—you just did not belong to anyone and anywhere.

‘Jack-of-all-trades, master of none’ was how one interviewer described me. Despite the efforts, struggles, and many late nights spent to catch up with the knowledge that I did not gain previously as a microbiology student, I was deemed incomplete despite the fact that I was later conferred a Master of Arts in Creative Writing and had written and published more than 30 articles.

“Your article is well-researched, but it lacks originality somehow. You need to emphasise how great our products are. Not just the general benefits of taking the supplements,” one interviewer told me.

“Thank you for your suggestions. I did not do so because I am unsure of the degree of effectiveness of those supplements and I want to leave room for any possible mishaps,” I replied.

“Are you insinuating about the safety of our products?”

“Of course not. I just want to protect your company and also, myself as a writer.”

“You are a great writer. But we would prefer someone who can bring in the sales. It is business at the end of the day. We need solid numbers.” *

Increasingly frustrated with my attempts to secure a writing job, I started to look out for an English-teaching job. Father told me my time just had not arrived and it was a good move to look for something else at the moment.

“Be adaptive like your great-grandfather. If he did not settle here and marry your Indonesian great-grandmother, he would not have such a beautiful great-grandchild today. You are the pride of the Tan family,”

“I just do not understand. I worked hard on every minute that God sends but I did not attain a job. I just do not know what is going wrong. I wasted five years to complete my university, just to gain nothing. Except debts!”

“I never think time could be wasted. You grew and that is all that matters.”

I did not know what to reply to father. His advice was always sage and insightful. In times of turbulence and chaos, he had always remained that calm and poised. Even when his mother passed away, father did not shed a single tear throughout the funeral. He had always been the family’s rock. *

“Sorry for the long wait. After discussing with Ms Eunice and the principal, we would like to offer you the job, still,” Ms Angeline handed me the contract that she had prepared earlier. “Your winning point is your publication, and we would like to give you a chance.”

“Thank you for this.”

She just didn’t buy the idea of me not knowing the IGCSE syllabus. I already told her today’s presentation was all I could get from the internet. I could not suppress my rage any longer and started losing my professionalism.

“Don’t worry. It was just a minor misunderstanding. She came from the perspective of a teacher and you came from the perspective of a writer. This was why she was dissatisfied with your teaching because she thought what you had presented was too difficult for the students. You have to teach the students on how to write the introduction, the body, and also the conclusion. Straight teaching the students on how to edit an article is way too advanced for these students.”

“But these students are Year 10, aren’t they? They are sitting for the IGCSE exam next year and they should have known the structure of an essay.” I continued to probe for more bizarre justifications, not remembering to keep my cool anymore.

“It is a little different here, Mr William. These kids are spoon-fed most of the time and they get used to mollycoddling. They don’t remember things.”

I looked at the contract on the transparent table. I hesitated to ink my contract. I was still bitter about the unfair judgement thrown at me just because I deviated from the interviewer’s expectation. I could not accept the reason of me not being a trained teacher; the management should know I was not a trained teacher ever since they called me up for interviews. I had had enough of constantly being judged and questioned for my ethnicity, lifestyle, choice of studies, and my abilities, just because I did not fit the boxes.

I just could not breathe in the meeting room. *

“Welcome the new teachers in Melody International School! Please stand up when your name is being called,” the principal, announced, looking excited, at the staff meeting.

I signed my contract and landed a job after idling for six months. Father’s words kept echoing in my mind when I told him that I did not want to work at a place where I was judged pre-emptively.

He said, “It is all about survival of the fittest in this world. You need to survive before you can do whatever you want. It is wise to take up this offer—you don’t have any offers now. You can leave when you have a better offer.”

That night, I quickly learnt and accepted the fact that I need to anchor somewhere for a start. It was pointless to think of a change if I was still floating around because the world just did not operate in such mechanism since the first human appeared. I started to think whether my great-grandfather married my great-grandmother just for survival or because they were in love. I contemplated that growing up means losing one’s faith to keep up with the dogma of life and the more resistant one tries to change it, the more hurtful and defeated one will be. And I gave in to life that night because I needed a job desperately.

“And we have Mr William Tan. He will be teaching Year 7 English as a Secondary Language.”

The thunderous applause seemed to congratulate me for making a right choice in life. I stood up from my seat and gave my colleagues a practiced smile.

“The new term is starting next week.” The principal looked serious after introducing the new teachers. I could feel the air in the hall was becoming still and forbidding.

“As all of you know, last year was a good to great year but nowhere near excellent! The number of students who opt out from the school increases, and I want you to know that at the end of the day, it is all about business. I want all teachers to show more care to the students. If you take care of my students, I will take care of your salary and bonus.”

I shudder at the speech. It was disgusting. Since when education becomes a job that pleases the students and their parents?

And it dawned on me at that moment that being a teacher was not much different than being a writer. At the end of the day, it is all about business and it is all about numbers. And one can only get the chance to find themselves if they survive playing the game of life. You can’t find yourself when you are dying of hunger.

The principal locked eye contact with me. I nodded my head at what she had just said. After all, I was still under probation.

The game had only just started. *

Peter Soh is an ambitious Malaysian writer whose stories are about darkness, pain, struggles, identity searching and what makes us a human.

#Peter Soh #To Where I Belong #short story #fiction #malaysian literature

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keramalusundeep · 4 years

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‘KABALI’ PEAKED AT THE TRAILER. HERE’S WHY

First of all, I don’t do movie reviews. I am the guy who just watches a movie and then maybe talks about it during lunch at work to avoid awkward silences. So, why am I writing this review about a movie I watched a half hour ago? Because you know, how sometimes when you have a near death experience, your perspectives change and suddenly you want to do all this good in life, save lives, be a better person? Yeah, I am in that zone right now. I have been hit by something powerful. And it’s time to share it with the rest of my species.

Two months before today, I accidentally came across the trailer of Kabali on YouTube. I was immediately arrested by the killer original soundtrack for the movie. That’s where it had begun, for me.

Every time I watched the trailer at home, I’d go on and on to my wife about how I would not miss this movie. I don’t know why I had suddenly become such an aggressive fan of Rajinikanth. My mom was always a diehard fan, though. Two decades ago, I stumbled upon a large biology drawing book that had cut-out pictures and childlike hand-drawn sketches of him at my house in Bangalore. The book belonged to my mother. When I confronted her, she said that she was supposed to get rid of that book after marriage, but somehow it had come along with her. Super jealous of the superstar, my father would often mock Rajinikanth. I don’t blame him. He was just an ordinary South Indian man born in a conservative family. He is well educated and open-minded, yes, but he is still a man. I mean, when my wife used to look at Jason Momoa’s buttocks in Game of Thrones, I would run to the bedroom and do 50 squats and come out like I was all chill.

When you watch a Rajinikanth film, you better go to a local theatre. Not the multiplex ones where one is too shy to even release a silent fart. No, go to a local theatre. The kind where women best not venture. That’s the kind of place where you will know what it is like to be a Rajini fan.

In these theatres, as the lights dim, a new wave of energy crackles to life. Whistles, throat-burning screaming, firecrackers, shirtless dancing on seats. The entire room becomes a five-dimensional stimulation ride. Your seats rock. The walls vibrate. You smell smoke. It’s exhilarating to witness the madness, but deafening and annoying beyond a point as you can’t hear shit. Because from the time Rajini’s name pops up in the opening credits till the interval (where the fans begin to get a little tired), it’s a war zone. You would be lucky if you came out of the theatre entirely unbroken.

When you are watching a Rajinikanth movie, there is a 3000% chance that you will see something superhuman. Death-defying. Nonconforming to every law of nature. But you tell your mind to hush. During a Rajinikanth movie, only his fans can make a sound. If you are a non-fan and say something mocking, well, leave the address to your coffin.

Well, this time, I watched the film in a multiplex. Families and kids. So even if I had said something, I probably wouldn’t have got my ass whooped. Still, I watched quietly and saved everything for my keyboard. So now I’m going to spill my shit out. Here, I am Spartacus. Unyielding. Veracious.

Being 2016, being Kabali, being Rajini, you’d think, mafia being the spine of the story, it’d have all the beef in the universe to make Martin Scorsese take note. The opening scene, is the ending scene. When will writers learn that when you are showing Rajinikanth to be the gangster (especially when he is being released from jail), you know for sure that all his enemy gangsters will be dead, no matter what! Keep a little surprise, man! Henceforth, I want Santa Claus to write all the scripts for Rajini movies.

The story takes place in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. It’s a beautiful city. But they decided to show only the dark world. The Tamils. Their dark skin. Their dark labour problems. Their dark mafia. In all of this darkness, the only contrast in the colour palette was the ostentatious bling that these gangstas flaunted from start to finish.

After all these great movies in the West about drugs and gangsters, you’d go on to have this divine hope that the Tamil industry would go easy on making every hero a superhero. But nope. First of all, what kind of a gangster is comfortable with only a handful of business associates who also moonlight as security? I comprehend the fact that it is Rajinikanth and he can take care of himself, but he is old now. Besides, he carries only one gun. Not even an extra magazine!

When you are out of commission for 25 years, don’t you need money when you come back? Don’t you still need to be in business? Apparently, when Rajini is a gangster you don’t need to do gangster business to earn money. You just have it all sorted. Somehow he is able to run a free school for drop outs, drug addicts and ex-gangster kids. The funny part is, he himself is a gangster and hires kids on his team. So the point is that when you are in Kabali’s gangster squad, you don’t need to be rehabilitated, life’s all good.

P.A. Ranjith, before I forget, take this — you suck. You suck big time. Basha, for that time, had so much more swag than you have managed to squeeze out of Kabali. To a gangster, his family is very important. I mean to all of us, families are important. But to a gangster, it’s more of a prestige issue. If a gangster has let his enemy harm his family, it would convey that he is weak, incapable of protecting his own family . . . how then will he protect his business and other people who are dependent on him? But you could have involved his family saga in the movie in such a better way. There was no need for all the flashbacks. You have permanently ruined “once upon a time” for me.

I still cannot digest the fact that the director completely omitted to show us or explain Kabali’s business model. Maybe every time Kabali and his men whimsically went after the villains and delivered some soggy dialogues the producers would give them some candy money? Also, I think Indian movies should stop making the villains troll the hero and his affiliated people with dummy guns. Can’t take that shit anymore. If you want to shoot, just pull that plastic trigger and be done with it. Why do you have so many extras pointing all those useless toy guns at one old guy and still end up getting laid low by his stunt double?

Radhika Apte, who plays Rajini’s wife in the movie is a good actor. However, in this movie, she is a bad actor. When you have a bad script and a dumbass director, even a lion becomes a pig. I was happy to know that she was killed by the villains. Good riddance, I thought that’s what she must have thought. But no, she was brought back from the dead 25 years later and made to run for her life again. What torture, marrying Kabali!

Dhansika has tried to play a version of Rooney Mara in The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, but the result is extremely unpleasing. The director concluded, perhaps, that if she is a girl and an assassin, she’s got to sport a punk bob cut and a lot of badly done temporary tattoos (which keep drastically changing and moving places). By the way, she is Kabali’s daughter, who he reunites with. Sadly.

What’s with the suit? I thought when you wore a suit, you had the license to kill. Oh, wait a minute! That was 007. In Kabali, if you wore a suit, well, you have the license to get killed.

The villain gangsters are real pussies, I tell you. I can’t fathom why they are so scared of Kabali. He is just a vintage chap with a few old friends who masturbate on the rusted bullets in their guns. Then again, it is Rajini. He can get bin Laden to marry Gandhi if he wanted to.

Movies in the south always thrive on comedy. In Kabali, there is nothing to laugh about. Nothing to cry for. Absolutely nothing to rejoice about. The soundtrack was the only saving grace. The movie was a drab, unsexy 150-minute quest for finding his family, which he could very well have done without us having to sit and watch. I liked the free trailer on YouTube. Not the full movie I spent 200 bucks for. Kabali, no magizhchi for you.

Reminds me of the famous Bruce Lee quote: “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.” With all due reverence and respect for you as a great human being, I am afraid, Rajinikanth Sir, we are no longer afraid of your 10,000th kick. You have overdone it. It’s the same kick and it doesn’t give us any kick anymore. I know it’s the directors asking you to do lame stuff, not you per se. However, you could say no to them, yes? Maybe make meaningful cinema? You have earned that. But not the right to disappoint us, after all that hype.

P.S. Watch out for Tony Stark. He makes a sensational cameo.

Photo by Soloman Soh

#kabali #kollywood #radhika apte #rajinikanth #hollywood

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shaoclark · 4 years

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