dealer: i got this new strain that will zoink your brain off🤯😱🤫😜 this “third life” thing will have you flying 😎😳
me: yeah whatever
5 minutes later: dude i think that shirtless guy just took my pants
my buddy martyn covered in blood: dogwarts has fallen
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My dealer: got some straight gas🔥😛this strain is called "House MD"😳 you'll be zonked out of your gourd💯
me: yeah whatever. I don't feel shit.
5 minutes later: dude i swear i saw the ghost of your dead girlfriend
My buddy Wilson pacing: the patient is lying to us
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[Transcript under the cut]
Elsa: I’m sorry
Max: about what?
Elsa: I was too rough. I keep forgetting I stopped babysitting you years ago.
Elsa: you don’t need to date anyone if that’s not what you want to do
Max: I’m not hurt, you could never hurt me
Max: we are pretty much head to head on the asshole scale
Max: and I’m gonna talk to him eventually, don’t worry about it.
Max: because I know so damn well you’re worried as hell about Lucas.
Elsa: I didn’t even like the idea of him moving all alone on top of a hill to begin with! He’s not fucking Heidi!
Max: …
Elsa: …Ah-
Max: he is kinda Heidi
Elsa: ugh. I know.
Elsa: hey, are you still on therapy?
Max: … do I look like I’m not?
Elsa: answer the question idiot
Max: yeah. I am.
Max: she claims I’m doing a good job but, it could be some ‘’hang in there’’ motivational poster thing she says to all her patients
Elsa: well, I think you’ve gotten much better
Max: it’s Prozac.
Elsa: oh
Max: and my mood stabilizer. Drugs are really nice Elsa
Elsa: did you talk to her about Lucas?
Max: it’s like she knows him herself.
Max: …does he even like me anymore?
Elsa: Pierce says he ‘’clearly does’’
Max: alright but, no one asked him.
Elsa: I talk to him pretty much every day, you’re his favorite guy. He’s just too busy with his cows and crops to come visit. Do you think he smells like fertilizer?
Max: absolutely yeah
Max: …he’s my favorite guy too. Even though I feel like I need to explode him with my mind sometimes.
Elsa: I wish I could get inside your mind and rummage around so badly
Elsa: they’re so cute together.
Max: yeah, Pierce is kinda-
Max: -smart.
Elsa: stop that
Max: hey, it’s a joke. Still gonna do my men free week. I need to be mentally clear and sane for those dates
Elsa: we can hang out, I’m minoring in men free.
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