#it’s actually actually truly that deep | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

weirdsorcerer · 4 months

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I don’t feel arrogant to acknowledge it- it actually is lovely to be loved by me. I get better at it as I grow older. connection is one of my favorite mediums.

#what i’m working on now is taking romantic love off thee pedestal and tending to the biodiversity of my love’s ecosystem #so much life and so many types #how do we love in a way that is truly radical? how do we learn to love each other thru the end of the world as we know it?#it’s actually that deep #it’s actually actually truly that deep #to learn to love in a way we’ve never seen before #but I know in my body to be possible. no way to make it this long as a furless clawless fangless species otherwise

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venuseology · 4 days

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anybody stuck on the fact that Colin told Penelope that he traveled to seventeen cities but told his siblings that he couldn’t remember how many he went to / refused to talk about his travels ………….. sigh

Not only that but also the fact that he was probably so lonely the entire time. Just completely, utterly lonesome. Writing letters to his siblings who complain about his writing style, not receiving any responses from Penelope, he was detached from his taste of interesting, riveting correspondence that he had during his last travels w Penelope and the hunger that seeped from that absence left him starving for it unknowingly.

Even when in the arms of beautiful ladies he didn’t know, he was utterly, completely, alone and unheard and unseen and left chasing for some feeling that he could not grasp or reach. His own insecurities flooded up inside him and left him wondering for something unknown. Looking for the right personality, the right purpose for him to be seen and taken seriously not only by society but also his own family. He doesn’t enjoy adhering to the rules and constructs set up by society but the world does not accept him as he is so he conforms and twists himself up into this fabrication of a person and it works.

Or at the very least, he perceives that it works because Anthony begins to start respecting him and taking him out for celebratory drinks and the ladies seem to swoon at his every word and he isn’t bothering his family about the “unimportant” details of his travels (meaning that he doesn’t speak of his travels to anyone, besides penelope, penelope who encouraged his interests and behaviors and quirks, penelope who embraced him with smiles as bright as early greek mornings that rise with her wit, her beauty, her tenacity.)

His attempt to blend in with the norm has worked, yet he feels oh so alone and empty and unsatisfied. He has been suffering for eons trying to fit in and once he finally reached this goal it’s almost as if… he’s been drained of meaning. It’s almost as if he’s uncomfortable pretending to be this man that society tells him that he must be, as if he doesn’t want to be this man, but instead, wants to simply be, colin.

#colin bridgerton #bridgerton #bridgerton season 3 #polin #polin bridgerton #colin x penelope #penelope featherington #and this is why polin works so well because they understand each other FUNDAMENTALLY!!!!#like they get each other so bad but they don’t even know just how deep their understandings truly go #aagrrggg i love them sm #and if i said colin bridgerton isn’t a man…. perhaps…. if i said this feels oh so very……… well #or just also neurodivergent. both actually. nonbinary demisexual colin….. i see it #he just doesn’t know it and he’s so confused why he just can’t fit in with these rules and constrictions #traveling the world just to find himself. okaaaay okay okay #iiiidk guys #heheehhe

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respectthepetty · 18 days

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Y'all can thank @negrowhat and @27vampyresinhermind for this post because I wasn't going to watch Wandee Goodday until Wednesday, but here I am clowning while traveling with color-coded boys in love.

First, starting the episode with 69 and the yellow bananas on the purple boxers is the way I want all my shows to begin.

Especially because I feel the yellow bananas are going to be a thing for BD Yellow Yal Yak.

Next, I am fully on Team No-Kiss-on-the-Lips-until-the-Finale, so Yak being so comfortable with Dee to kiss him goodbye is the small crumbs I need to survive.

Since Yak is subtly making his way behind Dee's walls and the colors tell us this since Dee now has a little yellow light in his room by the TV.

It wasn't there before he decided to be Friends-with-Benefits with Yak.

And it's nice because as others have pointed out, Yak and Dee do seem to be actual "Friends" with benefits.

They fix things for each other, like Yak fixing the broken heart light that Dee was too busy to properly care for.

They call each other and know when the other is not doing well, but they also don't push each other to share.

And they also match colors.

Which reminds me - Is this plum, like dark purple, or brown?

Because what Ter is wearing is clearly brown, but the poster of them is purple, so I just think that Dee is already destined to win this scholarship.

But he won't go abroad

Because he will realize he is right where he needs to be.

And I think it was reinforced by Yak not taking the necklace back.

So even though Yellow Yak initially said no to fake dating and broke off their friends-with -benefits arrangement, he still allowed Dee to carry a part of him around.

And his brother and Cher understand how important that is because Yak easily handed over his name even though he fears having a public relationship. Also, I still think the brother is a Blue Boy because he is loyal and stable, but I need a moment to figure this out (when I've had more than three hours of sleep).

The boundaries and the colors are quickly shifting because Yak was black last episode and Dee was white, but this episode, as they go back-and-forth over this fake dating possibility, they switch colors.

But Dee is still a Purple Prince with his purple boxing gloves, purple hand wraps, and Yak pointing out that homeboy *should* be rich.

So even though Dee leaves in a huffy state and in blue, he is highlighted by purple lighting.

Which Yak absorbs when he decides to take Dee's hand and helps Dee cross the obstacle, together.

Which leads to Yak giving into Dee's request as he is highlighted by the yellow lights in the background.

He commits to the bit and shows up to the hospital with the purple-wrapped flowers.

And seems to fit right into Dee's life as both match the background of Dee's apartment.

Sidenote: It will never not please me that Dee's apartment building was colored purple.

So that little yellow light in the beginning of the episode to show how Yak has slowly started to integrate himself into Dee's life turns into a full-on yellow lighting attack.

They may be fake dating, but the feelings are about to be real.

And it's not because Dee is wearing Yak's yellow next week (with Yak wearing Dee's fake blue).

But because Yak has this blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment of realizing he can't distinguish between the fake and real.

"Stay True" to yourself and your feelings, Yak!

#the colors mean things #color coded boys in love #wandee goodday #this makes sense to me #but I'm lacking sleep and I was partying so does it actually make sense?#all's I know is Yak is in deep already #he doesn't realize it yet #but it's gonna hit him soon #let the record show - I'm Team Yak #because I truly believe Dee will unintentionally hurt my boy #and regardless of what Yak does‚ I'm on his side

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fromtheseventhhell · 5 days

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Unlocked a new piece of "Arya can't control herself' lore and, apparently, people think her ability to control herself comes from her pretending to be someone else. So it isn't Arya who has self-control, it's Arry/Weasel/Nan/etc. and that's why she wouldn't be able to control herself in KL, cause she couldn't handle being "Arya". I am fascinated by people twisting themselves into pretzels to deny Arya's capabilities, at this point it's an unhealthy compulsion 😭

#arya stark #asoiaf #fandom nonsense #it's either denying that she has the ability to control herself altogether or conceding by saying that she can only control #herself when she's pretending to be someone else there's no in-between #trying to understand how that even makes any sense but then the mind of an Arya hater is anything but logical #wildest part is that they really think they're doing some deep character analysis with this take sdksdkdsfjfsjsdj #I joke about it all the time but Arya truly is too complex for this fandom to digest and that's wild 😭#this is why people have such dogshit takes about her lol #need people to stop huffing reddit/quora metas and actually read the books for a change

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ifawnleaf · 19 days

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sorry i just think it's funny browsing the fantasy high tag after ep 19 has been like:

post 1: LOVED seeing the RGs get fucked

post 2: hell yeah this rules

post 3: if you hated the RGs being killed you're a little baby who knows nothing about DnD

post 4: ivy deserved that lol

post 5: fig was so brutal she destroyed ruben! must have been sooooo satisfying for her

post 6: this battle is disappointing so far. was hoping to see the rat grinders get redeemed

post 7: the bad kids kick ass!!!!!!

post 8: seriously guys the amount of people hating on the bad kids is ridiculous

#JUST MY EXPERIENCE THO #i saw way more posts chastising ppl than the actual posts disliking it #and even more than anything else i saw people enjoying the episode #and truly this is a joke it's not that deep #fantasy high #fhjy spoilers #fawn talks #dimension 20

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plantboiart · 2 months

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Sometimes you just gotta come up with the weirdest fucking AUs for your own mental health so here it fucking goes:

Galloway with some kind of link to the feyrealm. Galloway where children go missing and get replaced by creatures that look like people but aren’t. Galloway where the swamps surrounding the town are filled with gnomes and trolls, witches and fairies, magical creatures that are as terrifying as they are interesting.

Galloway, where the child of the Deep’s was stolen as a baby and replaced with a copy. Rolan, who was never normal, who didn’t fit in, who couldn’t make friends. Rolan, whose parents punished him whenever he acted too weird, who refused to believe their son wasn’t really theirs, who tried to teach the forest and deals and mischievous spirit out of their child through any means necessary. Rolan, who never understood why he couldn’t just be normal.

Donna Rand, who watched the small child in the crib she’d put him in last evening, and knew it wasn’t her own child. Donna, who picked up the small boy into her arms anyway, fed and clothed him, loved him no matter where he came from. ‘Timothy’ who grew up and knew that wasn’t really who he was. ‘Tim’ who spent his days gardening and exploring the woods, knowing he’d be safe there. Rand, who knew his father hated him for not being the original, for not being human, but who learnt to live with it. Rand, who just hoped Timothy was loved as well, where ever he was.

Kian, who didn’t grow up in Galloway. A nameless child that was taken and replaced, and whose parents never even noticed the difference. A child that was weird and uncanny, with a singsongy voice and who seemed to dance with each step he took. A child who spent more time with wildlife than people because animals and flowers didn’t find him unnatural. A child who craved a family and a world he couldnt remember, always so alone, who eventually chose a name for himself because maybe that would make him into a person finally.

Three changeling children, who eventually met each other. Rolan, who met two boys so unapologetically everything his parents hated, who didn’t shy away from the swamps surrounding their homes, who pranked their neighbors for fun, who let him finally be himself. He wasnt a human, and with them he didnt need to pretend.

Rand, who met two boys that never looked at him and wished he was someone else. Who had nothing to compare him to, who would never see him as ‘Tim’. They’d only see him as Rand, as one of them, as someone to be loved because of, not despite.

Kian, who found two boys that treated him like a person. Who listened to his music without discomfort or hatred, who were like him but were still loved anyways, who let him finally be someone. Kian, who finally saw that he could be loved and wanted despite everything that he was.

Three changeling children, who had each other. Until the swamps took a second child from the Rands. Until Rolan found the original child he’d been replaced with. Until Kian had the people he loved destroyed by people like him. Until suddenly, one early summer day, they didn’t have each other anymore.

#can you tell i’ve been thinking about them being autistic today #im just. im so emotional over changelings and autism and all that stuff #just growing up different and knowing theres something just fundamentally wrong with you but being unable to change that #finding people like you who can truly understand and love you for who you are #anyways. kian is just like me fr #jrwi #jrwi show #just roll with it #jrwi bitb #jrwi blood in the bayou #blood in the bayou #kian stone #rolan deep #timothy rand #changelings #actually autistic

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cahootings · 1 month

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Great TAZ but I had to hear griffin say “whalussy” twice

#it was actually. so fucking good ahakfjahsfk #also truly stoked when they put up Pequod’s hands down best deep dish in the city #taz

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uncanny-tranny · 1 year

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Life got more interesting when I learned that everything is an argument, everything is political, and everything is deeper than it seems. Everything is the product of something, and it's up to us to figure out what that "something" is. We are interesting as fuck! We are deeper than you think!

It might seem really tedious, but recognizing this has made me so much less incurious. I now want to learn about us as people. Everything is deeper than it seems.

#positivity #i see this as a positive #i was talking about modern art with my dad and i was realizing that we're pretty different in terms of philosophy...#...because i got excited thinking about the politics of art - he was baffled at what's considered 'art' and!!!#that's a deep conversation! modern art is so much deeper than 'lul this guy thinks a red canvas is art'#and people's REACTIONS about what is considered art is just as political as what we *call* art!#and he seemed baffled that i called it political but i don't think art exists in a vacuum - nothing truly does #once i realized everything is an argument i started actually paying more attention to other people #i know this line of thinking is easily overwhelming to others but i found that it was so helpful to me #because now there's yet *another* PURPOSE to actually pay close attention to every little thing #and that's something that's helped save me #you know maybe this is what they mean when they say autistics like to break things apart...?#i'm just putting this out there so maybe somebody can be like 'this is what i want to do too!“

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supercalime · 2 months

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I’ve been lurking in the 911 tags for only a week and I’m already exhausted of most b*ddie shippers holy shit

#the annoying ones know who they are #this isn’t a personal attack #I truly don’t want them to become canon out of spite #why even tag your hate in the goddam tag dedicated to another ship #Tommy’s tag has a lot of hate and people talking about eddie how there’s clues etc etc #I haven’t been deeply involved in fandoms in the last few years for this exact reason #when it becomes too meta it kinda ruins it for me #people digging through interviews and trying to find evidence in situations that weren’t intended that way in the writing drains you #sorry to break it to you #but Bucky is into tommy and was since the beginning of meeting him #yall going #well actually #he’s in love with eddie but doesn’t know and misplaces it with Tommy #is tiring #I don’t know if b*ddie will be canon but not everything has to be about romance with them #they seem to have a connection that goes even deeper than romance #having them be a couple just kinda irks me #they don’t need to be two bros sitting in a bathtub five feet apart but they seem like soulmates in a way that I don’t see as romantic #I say as an aromantic person too #deep connections can be just as intense and interesting if even more than coupling up #obviously not tagging the ship name cause I’d be lynched if I do #and again this isn’t about the actual ship it’s more about the fandom and how they feel entitled to claim theories as facts #lety rambles #tommy kinard #tevan #tuck #911 #911 abc #911 show #bucktommy

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ride-a-dromedary · 6 months

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Alright, the jack in the box is wound, and the coherence is coming to me. Halsin and the dryad, I was talking about his response if the PC indicates that he is most comfortable after a supper large enough to induce hibernation:

"Mindless gorging...? No, that is not right. I did not realize you thought that of me."

And why this keeps catching in my mind is not necessarily what he says, but how he says it (so I am commending Dave Jones' voice acting here). The rest of Halsin's responses to incorrect answers are generally even toned and corrective; firm, usually, but not inherently overly emotional. Much like a teacher correcting a student. But this one...he sounds genuinely surprised and taken aback that the PC would even suggest that. The "no, that is not right" is even firmer on its heels. And the last part...the last part, his voice is smaller. Less forward. I would not go so far as to suggest hurt, but it is approaching that territory. It comes so fast after his firm no, that it almost sounds like something that slipped by accident. Like something that was meant to be muttered under the breath, but it slipped from him because the surprise was so organic.

Alone, it doesn't mean too much. It's a slight offense to an obviously nonfactual statement. And that's likely all it is. I'm about to read too deep into this, I am aware.

But combined with the other things spread throughout Halsin's dialogue, particularly the implication that he is otherwise used to people making commentary on his physical appearance or the physicality of his being, it suggests an extra layer of hurt. An extra layer of: "I did not expect this from you, of all people." Not quite a betrayal, but approaching one.

What makes it particularly catching, is that one of the things you are able to wrench (and I say wrench because getting Halsin to share mundane personal details about himself is a production - and it makes *sense* it's a production if a. We keep in mind that Halsin himself doesn't seem all too sure who he is beyond his preoccupation - which elves are prone to but Halsin also just has...a lot on his plate that have evidently stunted his identity formation - to the point where he even claims he was forgetting who he was, and b. If he is used to questions concerning himself and his experience leading into questions regarding his sex life or his physical activities, see: the companion banter with Wyll and Karlach, he likely...doesn't really keep ready details about himself personally on tap anymore. He's so unused to people being interested in Halsin, that he's taken aback when they are. It becomes the "In the moment, I forget everything and anything I like to do for fun" mentality - no one really cares about what I like to do anyway - if you will. He even goes so far as to joking that the PC may be a doppelganger because *why else would they want to know these things*) out of Halsin when you ask him about himself is that he has a sweet tooth. That he likes honey, and people find that amusing. He chuckles, but his face falls, evidently prepping for the PC to make a similar comment (and he attempts to beat you to the joke about that, though a PC can still call that "on the nose" to which he responds that there is little point in denying oneself if it doesn't hurt anybody - indulging isn't a bad thing). If the PC instead chooses that he should pay little attention to what others think, he gives that infamous: "sometimes I think people look at me and imagine my feelings can't be hurt" line. Which implies - regardless of whether he verbalizes it or not - things in this thread hurt his feelings. Comments or assumptions about his body and his person hurt his feelings. He won't say it, but they do. The PC is likely aware of this by this point in the relationship.

Halsin does not otherwise bring up eating or food to any level of significance or directness - the sweet tooth comment was the only time (you could assume outside of canon interactions that they've had other conversations between them and that perhaps this was brought up, but we are going to base this solely in what Halsin reveals in canon). He brings up hibernation, but specifically the sleeping part of it. Nothing else.

So, the PC then potentially goes ahead and makes an assumption of him during the dryad. How'd they arrive at this conclusion, as it obviously surprises Halsin that they did? It reads, very much, that the PC is making this assumption based on the comment about his sweet tooth, his comment on indulgence, and his physicality (note: the ha ha bear and hibernation thing almost seems like an afterthought - Halsin latches *very* quickly onto the "mindless gorging" part). All things that he has shown very evident discomfort (which is ironic because the question is when he feels most comfortable) or hesitance towards (he claims there is nothing wrong with indulgence, but never seems to indulge himself beyond sex, if that. Gee, what does that remind you of?)

Halsin entrusted this individual with this information, as frivolous as it was, potentially revealed that it hurts his feelings when people make assumptions of him, and this individual then went used that information and made the assuming connection: "So, this is a big man. He said he liked sugar, so he must like to eat and indulge. It must be his favourite thing to do because look at him." I am going to essentially ignore everything else I could have possibly heard, and make a bear hibernation joke that has nothing to do with sleeping being a comfort, but emphasize the eating part.

So, yeah, he's a little taken aback - incredulous, you might say. A little hurt. Resigned, almost. Because at that point, you can make a very logical assumption that Halsin came to a very quick snap realization that perhaps this person was not so different from the others as he thought. That it always eventually comes back to that. What else was he expecting? When has it ever been any different for him?