God, I’m so fucking tired of romance.

Like seriously! It’s everywhere! And where it’s not? People try to say it is! Like is that all you alloromantics think about? Is it that great that most people, consciously or not, believe they need it to be happy? Is it addictive or something? Why does it belong everywhere? Why is it that the moment there’s any sort of aromantic rep, people are trying to prove that they’re not aromantic? Why is it that, if I explain my ideal relationship to an alloromantic person, they’ll probably just tell me it’s actually romance? Why is my sexuality considered nothing when half of the romantic bullshit out in the world literally has no substance?

Why am I considered less? Because aromantic people are. We’re considered less queer, less lgbt, even by people who aren’t exclusionists. Not only that, but aromantic, along with asexual, is considered to just be a modifier: this is a straight person who doesn’t want sex (never mind that isn’t what asexual means), this is a bi person who isn’t interested in a romantic relationship (again, not what aromantic means), this is a non-binary person, their sexuality is nothing!

Did you know that there’s literally no scientific studies on aromanticism? Did you know that conversion therapy for us is very much still legal in almost every single country? Do you know what it’s like to learn your identity in a community who’s modo is “love is love!” to find out you can’t fall in love? Do you know how fucking dismissive it is when people say “oh, but there’s platonic love! There’s other types! Just because you’re aromantic doesn’t mean you can’t feel love!” when someone so much as comments on aphobia in a post very much directed towards romantic attraction? Not to mention how fucking cruel it is to look at aromanticism like that. Like it’s unfortunate. And how saying we can still feel other types of love isn’t even true to all aromantics.

The first time I heard of asexuality and aromanticism was in an exclusionist’s post. I was on Instagram, which is a fucking cesspool, but I was also 13, so I didn’t know. And you know what happened? I believed it. For the next three years, I believed it! And all I can think, as I look at some of you, is that if exclusionist didn’t include trans people and weren’t terfs, you’d be silently agreeing with them. That you are agreeing with them when it comes to the aspec community. Because I’ve gone down the exclusionist pipeline before, and you guys? Some of you are already in.