#it just makes me wanna puke
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i need an output for those heavy feelings, cause i feel like i'm about to burst
Just why?
I really have complicated feelings towards NANA
I hate it, but i also love it. It touches something so deep inside me, i cant explain it.
But there are events i will never be able to acknowledge. For me, that story ends long before Nana and Ren had their last fight.
Rens death is pointless, he already went through a lot, he suffered to hell and back. He showed us his weak side, but was never able to show it to his most precious person.
When we finally see a little hope and Ren stops with the drugs, his reward is death?
Thats it?
Did he really had to die to make an even bigger impact? or bring more drama to the story? For characters development?
This work is already full of grief, you get no moment to breathe.
Its already enough, we went through a lot together with the character, please why couldnt they finally get their more than well deserved happiness?
its not enough that his mother abandoned him and that he had to grow up in an orphanage.
its not enough that he shoulders so much responsibility, such a heavy burden.
its not enough that he is alone most of the time, especially when he is at his lowest. (i'm glad Reira was with him alot of times..)
its not enough that he cant live without Nana but also feels guilty because he write songs for Trapnest, especially for Reira.
its not enough that Nana rarely or almost never shows Ren how much she really loves him, or that he could rely on her.
its not enough that he is kind to everyone and tries his best for everyone.
is it still not enough, that this fragil soul almost breaks under the pressure?
And when he finally tries to become stronger, his life got taken away.. and not only that, he dies with feelings of guilt, he dies without making up with nana, he dies without having his dreams fully accomplished.
it would have had a much bigger impact
if he could have had accomplish it
if he could have become stonger
if he could have made up with Nana and finally both could try to communicate what they have both kept inside their hearts.
Let him have his freedom, his happiness, let him be himself.
He's the most unfortunate character in this story.
When you almost reach what you have longed for, does one die?
Its not fair! (yeah i know the world is not fair, dont gimmie that shit!)
Takumi should have died!
He doesnt care for others, he only cares for himself or his "castle"
He is a rapist
he is abusive
he is to blame for Rens condition and death
he is to blame for Reiras mental health
he would do anything to accomplish his goals
he even uses his kids
he is a cheater
he doesnt have even a little bit of good inside him
he is a toxic motherfucker scum who should have died, because everything would have been better!
Reira would finally be set free from her love for him & his claws
Shin and Reira could be together, they could heal each other and become happy
Hachi and Nobu would be happy together
Ren wouldnt be under pressure
Rens mental health would be much better
Ren wouldnt have died
Ren and Nana would -with time& help- be happy together
Nobu would be free and happy
Hachi would no longer be with a cheater and could be happy
Reira could even live her life normal, like she always wanted
Nana (im sure of it!) wouldnt have changed so negatively
I'm sure there are many more reasons why it would have been better if it were him instead of Ren. Takumis is literally the personified devil.
If he wouldnt be there, everyone would have been more happy. I dont say that all problems would be solved but they would definitely be more happy and less problems, 100%!!!
Everything started to go south after this bitch face appeared.
He knows how to use kind and weak characters like Ren for himself.
If he would care for anyone beside himself, then please explain why:
He didnt do anything even though he knew Ren did drugs?
Didnt do anything to help? Like give him a longer break, call Nana or WHATEVER! Just help you fucking asshole, you know him long enough!
wouldnt have let Ren drive to get Reira back!
He would manipulate Hachi, Reira and literally anyone else?
provoke Nobu even though he knows that Hachi is finally happy with him?
Uses his son to make Reira sing?
Its so devastating. that whole work is just sad.
I dont want a future, where Ren is not with Nana or Nana not with Ren.
I dont want Shin without Ren
I dont want Nobu without Ren
I dont want Reira without Ren
I dont want Yasu without Ren
I dont want Hachi without Ren
I dont want a NANA-World without Ren!
I dont want anyone of them being happy without Ren.
If this is a sorrowful story, then go ahead and make it even more sorrowful! let all of them suffer until their end until their last breath and never ever forget Ren.
I cant bear a future of Hachi with her kids, Yasu, Nobu and Shin coming together, waiting for Nana - who might never come- without Ren.
I wish Nana would have treasured the time she had with Ren more. She was just so busy with herself that she didnt even see that Ren was about to break.
If she would have made more effort.. just a little but.. just imagine how happy Ren would have been?
He never forced her to do anything or be anything she wasnt.
He treasured her, never looked or thought of another women.
He showed her more that once with words and his actions, just how much he loves her, how important she is to him and that he is the same as her - that he could never live without her.
She took him for guranted and didnt appreciate that he was there for her soo so many time. Why couldnt she be there for him, when he needed her the most?
Why did she let her pride and stubborness win?
/Theres so much more i wanna write but also, i'm at loss for words.
I just want Yazawa Ai to make everything that happened a dream which Hachi has. And in reality everything is fine.... just please..
#sorry this is just rambling#i needed to get this off my chest#a lot of stuff might not make sense grammatically but bear with me :')#I'm into much feels#that feel train aint feeling good#it just makes me wanna puke#thats what it literally is#send help oTL#Nana#Nana manga#Nana Anime#yazawa ai#yazawa ai nana#nana yazawa ai#anime#manga
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JUST ROLL WITH IT PROPAGANDA AND THE MAYBE SORTA KINDA PROMISE OF HIM STREAMING MORE THAN LIKE TWICE A YEAR LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO
#i make yet anothet post just for me 👍#qsmp#qpurgatory 2#heyyyy if you liked his streammssss and you like charlie slimecicleeee and also bebo and gribo maybe you should come watch jrwi#ooooooooo you wanna watch the absurdly powerful dnd podcast so badddddd#alright its 5:25 am and i just puked my guts up im going back to sleep now but this is fucking awesome news
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there is a very specific part of astarions own personal groupies that makes me feel so physically unwell and triggers me so bad and i cannot block them all fast enough !!!!
#fray.txt#i am trying so hard not to see but it keeps ! popping up !#i don’t wanna start drama so i’m blocking every single one !#but sometimes i read something that makes me actually puke in my mouth and i just need to scream for a second !!!!#in which i’m using tumblr to vent oho when has this ever been a good idea#i’ll probably delete this later i’m just so upset rn lol
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i just looked into the steel ball run anime and it’s only a rumor currently. the animation director had made a tweet about horses and needing them for reference, but he deleted the tweet soon after.
bawright good for them ig lol
#im like#im so im excited about a sbr anime because yay the parts i like and HP and didi#but also gogg i donT want it its gonna make me puke#also just make jjl#BUT ALSO its so popular like their gonna make it i think#but maybe they wont because idk bye bye jojos we dont wanna play with you anymore#but also also...#if sbr gets animated.. maybe.. JUST MAYBE... jojolion anime...#i swear to gOD ill animated it poorly myself in ms paint if they dont#i nEED IT NEED IT
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Me: *hears the line "Fine, make me your villain" for the first time watching the trailer*
Me: Oh that sounds cool and badass. Is it about a good/morally grey character forced to be a vigilante to protect innocents or those he loves? Then I'm intereste-
The Darkling: *is an abusive grooming 400yo+ pos that seduced a naive and isolated 17yo orphan so she would obey him and he could exploit her powers for his own goals like mass murder and world domination*
*says this line after being confronted by the ones he assaulted and called out on his fucked up deeds/goals/means*
Me: Ah
Me: Then no 😀
#shadow and bone#grisha verse#anti darklina#anti darkling#rambling into the void#imagine my disappointement#i was like Oh! a new fantasy serie with a powerful female lead! and the plot seems orginal and intestesting!#and then. Bam. this guy. just makes me wanna puke
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#it sucks being a simp and a whump writer bcs#i want to share in the love of my fave chara but#while i can deffo do keysmashes and delirious sentences smtimes i just#how do u stop urself from sounding like a deranged motherfucker#'i love this guy i just want to dunk him in a tub full of bugs'#(yes im talking ab a specific piece of fanart iykyk)#'yes i think he shud puke his guts out hed be so cute'#'he makes me feel so much i jus wanna beat him an inch from death'#LIKE UGH my impulse control can only do so much#have i ever mentioned that one of my first fic ideas for jamil involved rope?#anyway back to ur regularly scheduled programming#dellet-asides#edit: i am partly referring to limbus company sinclair. he inspires so much whump i want to subject him to the horrors.#hes so whumpable i wanna hurt him 🥺🥺#(thank god i dint end up a kalim stan i wud project so much of my whump brainworms onto him)
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Shackled and imprisoned (at work) so I cannot get to my important duties (cringeposting about 40 year old gay dudes)
#macden#macdennis#god what has become of me#you ever hyperfixate so hard it makes you wanna puke#maybe it’s just because they are so cringe fail#iasip#iasip memes#mac mcdonald#dennis reynolds#dee reynolds#charlie kelly#frank reynolds#it’s always sunny in philadelphia#it’s always sunny
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i cant stand when you can hear someone’s tongue when they talk yk what i mean like when their tongue moves and makes noise when they speak and all the spit noise and and oh it makes me want to die
#we just had to watch a ten minute video#where the lady talked like that#i wanna cry#it makes me wanna puke
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guys i nicked an artery and bleed out sm <3
#i traumatized myself and my friends sorry yall ily#it just kinda bonded us a lil bit i love them#my pookies#anyway. will probably quit because the thought of more blood makes me wanna puke#cvtaddict#self h@rm#cvtt!ng#styroblr
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dunno if you’re reading this but i hope you are enjoying your break and hope you are doing so well🩷 -🫶🏻
heeeyy 🥹 thank you so much you're so sweet, I hope you're doing well too!! 💓
#and thank you for the valentine's wish oof it's been a while 🥹 didn't realize how long i was gone for#i'm semi back now - i think? i def managed to get some things done in my social media break but my mental health is still meh#and i really don't care enough about hockey rn to make a full comeback 🔥🔥#BUT music is alive !! so much is coming up !!!! my fav band has finally returned and i am so excited !!!!!!!!#i also took a break from dating apps and just got back on them and it's dry afffff rn#but i do have crumbs of uninteresting information ☕#idk if you remember the guy from instagram i wrote about?? who i ran into at the drug store and liked my stories#my dumbass was aggressively swiping left on bumble on everyone and i saw him on it#but my finger was faster than my brain so i swiped left before i could register it was him 😭#i immediately gasped cause i saw his name and the same age as me and a blonde guy and was like NO F'ING WAY#i mean i don't think i would've swiped right anyway cause that's so AWKWARDDDD he knew me when i was a child pls#we already know each other and have each other's instagram... feels like it'd be moving backwards LOL#but it's also like... if i saw him on there... what are the chances he found my profile first... makes me wanna puke tbh#i hope i run into him again soon 🙏 (this time when i actually have makeup on... and i'm by myself)#i've also started talking to another guy who quite frankly seems exactly like sens guy but with better values so 🔥 we move#i fully meant that as a diss i'm still pissed and still not over him (moving on? never heard of her)#best way to get over someone is to get under someone else amirite;)))) (no)#anyway i kinda like dating around and not committing tbh bc no man deserves me#until i find one that is solid af i refuse to settle for just anyone for the sake of not being alone#which i'm worried is something some of my friends are doing but i've already tried talking to them and no one listens to me#so i'm just gonna be quiet now 🤷♀️ we're grooving#..i forgot what my tags were#oh yeah#answered#🫶🏻#brunch anecdotes w the girlies
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...
#holy fuck. knock on wood. fingers crossed. press my thumbs. i think the pain is cycling down#like probably its this bad bc my body is weak from fighting an allergic reaction and i think lam1ctal can cause some menstral issues#but like holy fuck. i cannot go thru that again. just hours of being nauseous and crumpled in pain#i was very very very seriously considering going to the hospital. but like ive ridden in an ambulance before and i dont wanna spend like#1000 dollars to go like 10min down the road. bullshit. god i hope its stopping#it was just like so much pain i didnt kno what to do. absolutely intolerable. ugh.#please dont let this happen tomorrow 🙏 please please please. i have to teach#and ny roommate is staying here the next 2 nights after not seeing her for like months#y now? 😭 im gonna have to b like hi *visibly disheveled* if i talk i might puke. bye.#i wish i could just sleep thru this. ibuprofen is not helping 😭#im just worried if i went to the hospital theyd make me wait for hours in the waiting room. shaking with pain. and then id b fine by the#time they got to me. like yea srry i was jusy being a lil bitch abt a normal bodily process lol. god. ppl with high levels of chronic pain#how tf do u do it? i dont think im strong enough. but i guess u probably get used to it. god that sucks so bad#ugh. i wish my mom was here. i want her to just pet my hair until i feel better 😭 but nooo shes going off to have fun in canada#so she's gonna b even farther from me than normal 😭#unrelated
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i tried showing that im not o wit it mutiple times but ig i wasnt forward enough
grrrr STOP MENTIONING MFS HAVING SEX OR BEING HORNY OR WHATEVER ON MY POSTS IT CANT KEEP HAPPENING TO ME !!!!!! DO IT SMEWERE ELSE!! DGAF IF UR JOKING
if u dgaf abt my comfort gaf about the llaw since im not 18 yet LMAOOOO
#i feel bad posting this tbh but this happens everyday in my inbox and in my reblogs#and its often directed towards ME and omg i cant anymore#i never make boundaries but holy shit guys i puked over this 4 times these past two weeks i cant keep doing it!!!!!!#YES i now that sex is a normal part of life and its not a bad thing but im begging you to simply not talk abt it around ME#idgaf if u talk abt it around other ppl or alone thats not a bad thing i just dont want to hear or see it#the ony reason im making a boundary rn cuz 1 well it can be illegal duh#2 it makes me PHYSICALLY sick like this is doing damage on my PHYSICALLY health i dont wanna force myself to ignore that anymore
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Just letting y'all know that I'm definitely not starving right now, my mental health is A-OK, and my gender dysphoria is definitely not off the charts.
(/sarcasm)
#tw ed implied#ana rant#gender dysphoria#not tagging with any of the tags in my tag key bc i don't want people to find this#im suffering#i wish i could heal#i don't like this#i feel awful#shoot me please#tw vent#vent post#tw mental health#i wanna kms#arfid makes it so hard to just eat man every single food item sounds like it'll make me puke#i wanna cry#im so hungry#im not pro ana i swear#i wanna be a cis man so badly
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im almost at the point of putting men in my dni on every single platform i use
#𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆.#I HATE every single one#i am ranting to my friends atm and im so mad#like the tiktoks i see and the comments from men just wanna make me puke#I HATE THEM ALL#god . i wont say much on here but yeah#they piss me off by existing#‘but u like fictional men’ SHUT UUUUUUP stop trying to invalidate my feelings#comparing those two is so dumb btw use ur brains#tw vent#cw vent
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threw up all night ✌️😜
#nanny baby I had all weekend had an upset tummy but I thought he just ate something funky.. now I am upsetty tummy girl#bf convinced me to stay home from work. he is a powerful warlock I hate being sick and prefer to just Ignore it#but I can’t chase babies if I’m puking. he’s right about that#also if it is a bug or virus I don’t wanna give it to my other families#ough everything makes my stomach feel WEIRD
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Every time o research things to learn abt my brothers new type one diabetes diagnosis I have vivid flashbacks to how he looked when we were loading him into the car to go to the er and I start having a panic attack
#mark says#t1d#t1diabetic#and then i feel guilty bc i need to learn to help as much as i can#but i wanna puke bc my brains telling me hes gonna go into dka and almost die again#and wtf do you do overnight?? do yiu just load up on insulin and hope nothing crazy happens?#why cant he be type two like my grandmas.#like its still diabetes yes but its at least pill controlled (sometimes)#im literally on a t2d medication for my pcos (metformin) and it makes me shit my brains out. my grandma is too. also makes her shit her#brains out#but at least it isnt insulin#chop chop find a cure docs and sciences#hope he can get a pump#did expensive reserch on pancreatic transplant bc before i knew it was dead donors only i was fully abt to#give him half lf mine like a kidney 💀#but yeah hes in the icu.
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