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grxceblqckthxrn · 4 years

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TDA characters as types of tiktokers

y’all KNOW i’m bored when i’m doing this shit lmao

i’ll get around to doing the other TSC characters eventually TDA was just the first to come to mind also if you’re not actively on tiktok some of what i say might not make sense ahaha

also i named some tiktokers who yall can use for reference for some of them and from what i’ve seen they’re all fairly unproblematic so you should check them out!!

EMMA CARSTAIRS

okay so she’s DEFINITELY super popular and she uses her platform for good

she’s really funny and a lot of her audios go viral posts videos of her dancing saying that she cant dance but she’s actually really good at it

6M followers and growing fast

hypes up her boyfriend’s account ALL the time

calls out misogynistic/racist tiktokers through duets and KEEPS THEIR TAG IN THE CAPTION

she is not afraid of starting drama lmao

occasionally hops on POV and transition trends but its usually satire

emma can’t act for shit lmao

super active on tiktok and has a spam account

people are always asking her to drop the skin care routine but she doesn’t have one??

*pushes Zara down* “and no one’s gonna help her?? WOW some world we live in”

JULIAN BLACKTHORN

there’s no way he doesnt have an art account lmao

a lot of his paintings go viral but 90% of his comments are 14 year old girls thirsting over him

yall know that pottery guy on tiktok?? the cute one?? (i searched up his account just for this post he’s @/daxnewman769) that’s the best way to describe him

literally all the famous tiktokers commission him

probably has like 4M followers lmao

will occasionally make about how respecting women doesn’t make you a “simp”

doesn’t get into tiktok drama tho

posts candid videos of emma and all his jealous 14 year old fans get so pressed but he shuts down anyone who says anything bad about her

sometimes does painting or drawing tutorials and he’s really good at teaching stuff lmao

CRISTINA ROSALES

omg okay so like yall know those really pretty girls on tiktok who are literal models and are always dropping tips on how to frame your face for pictures and best clothes and poses and whatever ( @/ameliezilber is the first person that came to mind as an example)

thats her

alot of her content is just for the aesthetic

BLING EFFECT

GRWM’s all the time

10 step skin care routine

GOOD VIBES

has a pretty decent following?? like at least 2 million

has a spam but it’s exactly the same as her main lol

also calls out problematic tiktokers but not by name

her entire account is full of body positivity and does a bunch of stuff on loving yourself

sometimes does POVs and all the comments are like “@ netflix hire her rn”

sometimes posts crack videos with emma and cute vids with mark and kieran

MARK BLACKTHORN

does a lot of reaction videos and duets

a lot of his videos go viral but he doesn’t have a huge following like maybe 800k

everyone still knows him

gets at least twenty “are you wearing only one contact” comment about his eyes every post

he’s really funny without even realizing it

sometimes goes inactive for weeks at a time and just forgets that tiktok exists lmao

shows off kieran and cristina ALL THE MF TIME AND EVERYONE IS SO JEALOUS LIKE HOW ARE ALL OF THEM HOT

KIERAN

doesnt have a tiktok lmao sorry

but shows up so much on mark’s and cristina’s that a lot of people know who he is

DIANA WRAYBURN

unironically does POVs but is actually good at them??

lots of videos talking about the struggles of minorities like LGBTQ+ and POC and women

posts a lot of those vidoes that are like “what to do if you ever get kidnapped” “red flags in relationships” “most powerful parts of the body” etc

probably has like 500k followers

at the end of the day she doesn’t really use tiktok that much tho ahaha

LIVVY BLACKTHORN:

does a little bit of everything??

posts dance videos sometimes

omg her transitions are SO good

everyone is in love with her and she has to remind them that she’s a minor (i’m just a kid plays aggressively in the background)

posts videos that are just vibes?? like her skating at night, dancing in traffic with dru/her friends, walking through the city at night etc

lots of lip syncing videos to whatever sounds are popular and all her comments are like “i wish i looked like this” “guess im not eating today” and she gets so upset :((

she wants everyone to know that they’re perfect the way they are!!

also posts POVs sometimes and she’s not that bad at them ahaha

probably has like 1 million followers

doesn’t even need a spam just posts everything on her main

shouts out her sibilings accounts all the time

overall just great energy

TY BLACKTHORN

never posts his face on his main but he does on his spam

yall know those accounts that post fun facts or psychology facts?? his is like that except he talks to explain them and everyone finds his voice SO calming

he posts a lot of content of animals and everyone is in AWE with how good he is with them

his username is probably theanimalwhisperer or something djkfskjd

every single time he posts Kit on his account all the comments are like “OOH ICU” and “SHIP” and “ASK HIM OUT ALREADY”

he gives 0 shits about popularity on tiktok he’s just posting for fun because he likes teaching people about his interests

so he has like maybe 500k followers

lots of philosophical questions that has everyone questioning their existence

ugh i love him

KIT HERONDALE

be honest this is what y’all were waiting for

yall know those unproblematic ppl that everyone refers to as the “king(s) of tiktok”???

yeah thats him

SO FUNNY

LIKE HIS CONTENT IS GENUINELY HILARIOUS

lots of sarcasm and satire

think @/adamkindacool ?? (one of my favourite tiktokers lmao)

does reaction videos for those “pov: im the annoying hot cheeto girl sitting next to you in math class” videos

dark humor (not like rude humor but actual dark humor)

like “i put the baby in the oven and the pizza in the bed” type of jokes back when those were a thing

has like 4M followers but almost every single one of his posts go viral so he’s gaining fast

lots of pranks

starts a bunch of trends

any video he posts of Mina goes viral

sometimes he posts some really weird stuff that has everyone laughing so hard irl (@/benoftheweek)

he NEVER thirst traps but still gets a lot of those weird sexual fairy comments on his posts (iykyk)

TO BE CLEAR I MEAN THE FAIRY EMOJI ONES NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM BEING FAE

reacts to the comments with a video of him just staring at the screen with the “oh to see without my eyes” or “im just sixteen” audio going on in the background which only encourages them to make more weird comments

anyways everyone loves him

any of his povs are pure jokes meant to make fun of pov’ers

posts maybe one serious tiktok every 5 months that talks about being respectful and using your platform for good

“i miss old tiktok”

posts a lot of random videos of Ty where, again, all the comments are shipping them except even more so on his account because everyone can see his heart eyes for Ty

collabs with Dru a lot and does a bunch of duets of her videos

everyone loves him bye

DRU BLACKTHORN

SO many memes

she deletes any hate in her comments bc she honestly doesnt care to respond to them and doesn’t need that kind of negativity in her life

but one time she got a “the f in women stands for funny” comment and she WENT OFF

does really dark povs sometimes that are really interesting

CLOWN MAKEUP + SCARY CLOWN TIKTOKS ( think @/avani ‘s clown make up posts

REALLY good at makeup and sometimes gets julian to do scary makeup on her for tiktoks and povs (like those ones with stitches over the mouth or skin peeling off)

huge ally!! posts a lot about minorities struggles and white privilege, and acknowledges hers

does movie reviews and stuff sometimes

“types of” videos

pulls a lot of pranks on her sibilings with livvy and sometimes with Kit

lots of body positivity + self love

calls out back-handed compliments

also has a lot of content like Livvy’s of just vibing in LA

julian and emma and mark go off at anyone who sexualize her in the comments

probably has like 650k followers

posts a couple of times a week

BONUS:

JAIME ROSALES

lots of skateboarding videos idk he just gives me that vibe

doesn’t post that often but is super popular

like maybe 1.5M followers

really passionate about systematic racism

HATES all those privileged white boys using the “this is america” audio to pretend they’re oppressed ( this is a may 2020 thing so it probably wont make sense to anyone who sees this after lmao)

POSTS A LOT OF THIRST TRAPS LMAO

also posts lots of videos that’s just him yelling about stuff but they’re really entertaining to watch ( like that guy sebastian @/sauceyogranny)

everyone thinks he’s super hot he always shows up in those “hottest boys on tiktok” videos except sometimes he’s just the token POC boy and it makes him mad :(

DIEGO ROSALES

HIS ACCOUNT IS SO PRACTICAL LMAO

lots of tips

“what to do if you’re trapped in the desert” “what to do if you’re kidnapped and stuck in the trunk”

doesnt reply to comments EVER unless it’s to clarify a point he made in the video or answer a question

has like 200k

okay thats it lmao im done bye this took me like an hour to make

i’ll get to all the other characters from the other series’ eventually

also if yall are wondering abt the lack of f*ckbois in this post they’re coming dw

TMI CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS

TID CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS

TLH CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS

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starkendgame · 5 years

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okay so i saw endgame twice last weekend

there’s spoilers ahead y’all so i suggest scrolling on by if u haven’t watched

anyways

here are my thoughts and they’re all over the place so

- first hawkeye scene was already so sad also do i sense a kate bishop??

- tony teaching nebula how to play paper flick football was the so cute i love their dynamic

- also seeing how caring nebula was during that time oh man i am soft

- okay but how did carol just happen to come across tony and nebula’s ship???? like there’s a whole universe,,, and she just found it??

- “i lost the kid” had me ready to cry so fast

- rocket responding to being called a build-a-bear with “maybe i am” snsksjkd

- tony’s snap at cap was so valid and i think he needed to let all that out and cap really needed to hear that

- also i like that they gave him credit for his warning that the world needed a suit of armor because it shows some dummies that he created ultron with good intentions

- support group cap is a good concept and also kinda sad bc we know sam was also a support group leader

- this is an unpopular opinion and people will definitely disagree with me but carols new haircut was not doing things for her

- nat crying over clint made me big sad especially the second time around

- honestly i really liked nat in this movie more than others, her character really shows some depth

- i swear i’m going to get 3000 tattooed on me somewhere that shit HURTED

- on that note morgan stark is the most adorable little girl i’ve ever seen and dad!tony deserved to be a concept for more than 5 years (or 5 minutes from an audience point of view)

- like if you didn’t hear “define lunch or be desintagrated” and immediately melt ur a liar

- scott running around the vanished memorial in panic is :(

- okay cassie looks way to old for just a 5 year time jump im sorry someone had to say it

- hulk/banner is so fucking weird it’s so uncomfortable but also it didn’t bother me to the extent where i wanted it changed bc it was pretty funny

- also him giving scott tacos had me rolling

- thor bod is okay and i think shitting on him for it is mean we all acknowledged that he’d been through a lot after infinity war

- “shit”

- tony inventing time travel super casually? iconic.

- tony also creating a gauntlet in a hot second even though thanos had to fatty go to nidavellir and use some special ass metal to get his? even more iconic.

- all the domestic scenes where the avengers just sit around trying to figure out where to make their jumps and nat with her little notepad and bruce going “shut the front door” all of it was so good

- alright here’s the tea the thor we know and love would not just ignore loki when he went back in time he’d have exactly the same reaction as when his mother showed up

- their whole relationship that was built in ragnarok just fucking died and i refuse to accept that

- also seeing loki made me very happy and very sad i miss that dramatic little bitch

- also i love frigga

- america’s ass

- literally imagine checking out ur own ass and being like “damn,,” while ur friends also do the same

- “i can do this all day” “yeah i know” was solid fucking comedy even he’s tired of it

- “hail hydra” was also so good that bitch really took full advantage of being from the future he was so proud of himself

- i feel like nebula perhaps could have warned nat and clint about vormir but idk

- nat is so fucking important and deserved better, no memorial? no funeral? really?

- honestly and this is a problematic opinion but i wish it was clint and not nat because marvel wasnt doing enough with his character anyways and nat was such an integral part of the team in so many ways and it’s kind of terrible that i think this bc clint has a family but nat was honestly the heart of the team

- but she did so good and i’m proud of her she really died a hero’s death and she needs recognition

- the broken shield like how it was in tony’s vision is rough

- cap lifting mjolnir??????? Wack

- shuri yesssss i really hope she has a bigger role later in the avengers but im upset tony didn’t get to meet her he would’ve loved her :(

- the scene when everyone came back and it was just everyone in one place was such an experience like man the goosebumps

- also seeing peter for the first time back made my heart swell i love that boy

- tony and pepper iron couple is everything i needed thank you

- tony and petey reunion <3

- but also i felt like peters lines during their reunion were a just the slightest bit odd but that’s just the script not toms acting

- scott looking at hope when she calls steve “cap”

- the fact that cap called peter “queens” is really cute and overlooked also pepper calling him “kid” like tony does

- the girl team up WHEW chile can i tell u i was smiling so big that shit had me SHOOK at first but then it occurred to me how unlikely it is that they would all end up in the same spot and that was completely there just to make fans have the exact reaction we’re all having and so they could score brownie points i’m sorry i had to say it

- okoye is hands down the most badass woman out there no powers no armor no shield no suit no fancy tech she’s just out there kicking ass with her spear and i appreciate her

- also this might be dumb but if carol is the strongest of all of them, why couldn’t she use the gauntlet and perhaps survive

- also it’s just stupid that they acted that carol was going to be such a big part of the movie but she was there for maybe 2 hot seconds

- seeing that crusty purple small dick grape finally get dusted was all kinds of satisfying

- “we won mr stark” “i’m sorry tony” and “you can rest now” fucking destroyed me thanks

- i’m going to fucking miss tony so much i’ve cried so much

- he’s literally been my favorite superhero for 11 years Fuck

- proof that tony stark has a heart also destroyed me bitch i am GRIEVING

- who’s gonna make the abnoxious sarcastic witty comments now Bitch the mcu lost so much with the death of tony stark

- also i really hope they show peter having some issues after all this i think it’s only realistic there’s a lot of trauma he went through

- harleyyyyyyy :)

- cheeseburgers :(

- also speaking of harley can he pick up the genius invention slack in the future i think that’d be so good

- queen brunnhilde <3 ur gonna do great

- where’s gamora?? also her timeline has got to be super fucked up now

- is thor gonna be in guardians 3??

- also it’s a bit upsetting that even with the snap that brought everyone back, half thor’s people are still dead bc they died before the snap

- ned and petey reunion <3

- caps ending has me a little conflicted because yes it’s nice that he got his happy life and everything but i am gonna be one of those people who thinks it’s a bit out of character

- also if i’m being honest, tony and caps endings should’ve been switched i feel like, tony really needed to be able to have his happy ending and stop blaming himself and living with that guilt i think he deserved that closure and also having that character on standby for future movies seems super useful to push some plots forward?

- and with cap his whole thing was that he really wasn’t supposed to live past that plane crash and i felt like if his character was gonna go out it would be the way that tonys did bc i mean the man stood up in front of a whole freakin army before he knew help was coming

- that aside i think bucky should’ve gotten the shield, mostly because i think that’s only fair but also sam already has falcon, but all bucky has is the winter soldier and that has all types of bad shit attached to it so idk i think to make him captain would’ve been better

- i do think bucky knew what cap was gonna do he literally said “i’m gonna miss you” before he left even though he was supposed to have been back in 5 seconds his time and he didn’t look freaked out at all when he didn’t also he told sam to go ahead and talk to steve that bitch Knew

- also the sun didn’t fucking shine and i’m pissed they completely fucking desreguarded his entire monologue in that scene

- if tony and nat don’t get big ass memorial statues im going to sue

- also i hope peter and morgan have a cute sibling relationship please it’s what we need

- the sound of the first iron man suit being built at the end really got me and it was only 2 seconds of Sound

- but i wish we got an actual end credit scene like scenes with tony and morgan or something that teases far from home or some homage to the A6 idk it was underwhelming to not have a scene

- also i can’t watch any marvel movies now without being REALLY sad so there’s that i’m a little bit of a disaster

- i think overall this movie overlooked a lot of development that went on before hand and in that sense i think it lost a lot, but in terms of how the story went down i think it was good there was just a few things i wish they added (thor and loki ahem ahem) and honestly the movie should’ve been longer w an interlude but it was good + worth the watch i’m just a huge emotional wreck

- (also a side note: i’ve seen some people questioning why others are so upset over these fictional characters and it’s because yes we have attachments to the characters but also the actors, and after the characters die the actors won’t be in any more of these movies and we won’t see any more of their content or interaction with the rest of the cast and that shit is sad we’re gonna miss them so there are some tears)

#endgame spoilers #avengers endgame spoilers #avengers #endgame #A4 #spoilers #tony stark #captain america #iron man #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #black widow #my babies :’((((#marvel

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sweetsweetamber · 4 years

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23.06.2020

Emailed this to a friend earlier today.

I have been putting off even beginning to allow myself to process my feelings on this since I found out Zac Hanson was a raging racist, transphobic, sexist piece of shit. The problem is he keeps doubling down on his stance and making it so much worse, instead of letting me delete him from my memory and never have to think about him ever again.

This is so different to when multiple women came forward with allegations against Jesse Lacey. Like the second I found that out I never listened to Brand New ever again. Done, deleted. They were one of my favourite bands too, like the same level as Fall Out Boy, MCR, Panic and anything Andrew McMahon does. It hurt, mostly because I used their music to help me get through dealing with shitty men doing similar things to what Jesse Lacey did. But I haven’t really thought about them since, and I only miss their music sometimes. Maybe one day I’ll be able to listen to it without feeling disgusted, but that time is still a long way off.

I am also not the kind of person to idolise celebrities really? Not since I was a kid, anyway. Like all my favourite bands now, I have no idea about their personal lives beyond probably the mid 2000s. I have no clue what their kids, or wives names are, or even how many kids they have. I don’t even know all the names of the people in the band sometimes! I don’t feel connected to them as a person, I feel connected to them through their art, their music, their lyrics. As well as the fandom, the fans, the concerts, and the things I experienced in my life while listening to their music.

Anyway, here’s a brief timeline of what lead up to the main blowout to help put things in context:

May 25th-27th: George Floyd was murdered and Hanson posts normal content on social media with ordinary fan comments

May 28th: Protests against police brutality happen across America, Hanson shares a post about the rocket launch. A handful of fans (mostly Black and POC) express their hurt and frustration with Hanson in the comments

May 31st: Hanson posts advertising a livestream with an organisation that provides mental health support to musicians. Fans comment pleading with them to do the right thing, other fans start absolutely dog-piling those fans and tell them to stop “attacking” Hanson

June 2nd: Black out Tuesday. Taylor posts a black square and a few people comment asking him to actually say Black Lives Matter. The main Hanson account posts nothing.

June 3rd: Isaac posts on his account that “racism is wrong!” to very mixed reactions. Still won’t say Black Lives Matter.

June 4th: Zac posts about recording a podcast. He responds to a few comments about why he won’t say Black Lives Matter, it turns into a shit show and he deletes all the comments.

June 5th: The main Hanson account makes a post advertising their shitty yearly island vacation but it got blown up with backlash in the comments so they deleted the post. Zac makes a really fucking weird instagram text post, that says “Racism is wrong, but simply saying I denounce racism in a post will not save the life of the next young black man who comes upon it, or the next victim of reckless brutality”. The main Hanson account posts a photo with the one black hand in it they could find and still refuse to say Black Lives Matter.

This is where I jumped in and commented “Open your purse” and got completely torn apart by racist fans. I spent hours fighting back and supporting another indigenous Hanson fan who was also getting hurled tons of abuse in the comments. It was genuinely hard to try to calmly engage with these people who were spewing paragraphs about how Hanson don’t owe us anything and to “stop forcing your beliefs on them”. Whew. I think I blocked like 60 accounts, and had to change all my instagram settings to keep me as protected as possible without having to go private.

I knew Hanson fans were terrible. I found this out while in line for their first concert, when everyone was obnoxious assholes who wanted to brag about how many tens of thousands of dollars they’d spent following the tour (no one in line with me in the mornings were locals or even from New Zealand). The more money you spent, the more of a fan you were in their eyes.

This put me completely off ever going to their yearly fanclub island retreat which had been on my bucket list for at least a decade. The thought of being trapped on an island with Hanson and hundreds of complete assholes put me right off for life.

The funny thing is, I always met the nicest and most amazing fellow Hanson fans in line for other bands concerts? But the second concert I went to really solidified my opinion of Hanson fans being the most entitled assholes ever. I should have known it was only a hop skip and a jump for them to slide over being to racist as hell.

I eventually ended up deleting my original comment because a week later I was still getting angry racists coming at me for a fairly mild but sassy post. Which is hilarious because when Gerard Way made a similar half-assed post on his instagram, nearly every comment was “open your purse” and sarcastic “we stan a king who does nothing!!”. The next day he was like, I fucked up, here are some links and resources, we are redirecting the MCR store page to links to donate etc. There were probably some fans getting angry at the “backlash”, but if there were any I didn’t see it. Just insane to see the difference between two groups of fans for bands that I like(d).

On June 6th, a whole lot of Zac’s personal social media accounts got leaked, including a Pinterest board, youtube account and instagram account. He then he publicly confirmed they were all his because he’s a fucking idiot.

A few days later I got sent a link to the r/PostHanson subreddit, which had screengrabs of all of Zac’s pinterest boards. Seeing all those ridiculous and incredibly offensive “memes” was like a punch in the gut.

I had not kept up with this dude's personal life at all, I have forgotten his wife's name and lost track of how many kids he has after the first one. I just figured he was probably conservative because homeschooled + super religious + getting married quick and churning out babies. I’d never really heard or seen Hanson take a political stance on anything, but I didn’t really follow them too closely.

Apparently it was known to fans that Zac was SUPER INTO GUNS and played airsoft which is basically paintball crossed with modern military reenactment?

His pinterest page was completely full of stuff he’d pinned about guns (so many guns) and second amendment memes, that said things like “an 18 year old is too young to buy a gun, but a 5 year old is old enough to decide its own gender?” and one with a picture of a man and a woman with the caption “I told her guns make me feel uncomfortable, she said we should both see other men” which he added the comment “So true” to. The worst were the ones that were supportive of George Zimmerman.

I felt frightened, disgusted, and upset.

On June 8th the Hanson instagram account finally posted (with comments turned off) saying Black Lives Matter.

Since then, Zac has really just…. doubled down on being a shithead. He’s been posting as normal on his main account, blocking fans and deleting even mildly critical comments, liking the most disgusting comments that racist fans have been posting in support of him - one comment he liked was a fan justifying Zimmerman murdering Trayvon Martin. Also replying to some critical fans, making a ridiculously long comment where he thinks everyone is mad at him for being a second amendment nutter which genuinely made me more upset, angry and scared. He truly is the most dangerous type of white person: uneducated, ignorant, arrogant, and with a massive platform to spread his fucked up views. As someone else summed up so perfectly in a comment on one of his posts:

Too stubborn to look inward and see how their own actions, thoughts and behaviours are problematic. No desire to actually hear out marginalised voices. Instead, they'd rather create their own narrative, they want to play the victim, feign being attacked, deflect from any of the issues brought up, and will do anything BUT hold themselves accountable. Instead, they block black people and other POC (Rule #1 of what NOT to do right now), and will "like" comments of other uneducated ignorant white fans who are blindly loyal to anything he says and also don't care at all about marginalised and underrepresented people. Because it's all about HIM. The Poor, entitled, white man is feeling attacked. Zac, you are less than a man. Your development, somewhere down the line, was truly stunted.You are so brainwashed, so self righteous and so far gone, I don't know if you are even salvageable at this point. You would rather be in your bubble, clutching your guns and "liking" comments on your page that are defending the murder of black children than taking the bandwidth, introspection and WORK is takes to actually evolve and be a good person. As a black woman, at least I know now not to waste another dime of my money on you. Now go do what you do best and block another black voice, or write yet another tone deaf and ignorant response to make POC feel crazy (ie: "I'm sorry you are feeling hurt", "I love you", etc.) SAVE IT. That's more deflection bc YOU as the white man are CAUSING the hurt. If you want to love black people, start with explaining to all of your black fans why you believe a young, innocent black child named Trayvon Martin deserved to die because he attacked George Zimmerman. You were man enough to post it. Be man enough to defend it and stand BY your actions.

So I’m not entirely sure where that leaves me or where to go from here. I feel completely blindsided by the boy I picked as my favorite member when I was 12 grew up to be an abhorrent racist fuckhead. I saw in the subreddit support group someone said it feels like someone died and we are all in mourning, which sounds strange but it really does. The Zac Hanson I thought I knew is dead. He never really existed in the first place, or maybe he did for a short while before all the hate wormed its way into his heart.

I also believe that the type of music you choose says a lot about you as a person, and so much of my identity in my preteen and early teen years are wrapped up in Hanson. Both them as individuals as much as the music - I think that's why I can’t separate them because there has never been any separation between the two for me. I first heard Hanson on MTV with their music video for Mmmbop and decided I was in love with Zac before the song was over. I don’t think I can ever stomach listening to that song ever again.

Everyone makes mistakes, has racism to unlearn etc, but Zac hasn’t even bothered to lie and give us the PR answer of “I’m listening and learning etc”, even if he isn’t. He doesn’t even want to seem like he’s saving face because he truly thinks nothing he said or did was wrong, and that is the most horrifying thing of all.

I don’t know how to move past this. It's very easy to think, “people are flawed so you shouldn’t idolise them” but I can’t just snap my fingers and remove this weird 23 year old bond I have that is a mix of intense love and nostalgia? Like there was genuinely a point at age 13 where I actually truly believed: if he could just come to NZ and lock eyes with me at a concert we would fall in love and get married. Which sounds wild but it's how all 3 of them met their wives so it actually was a pretty solid plan.

I immediately took down my signed photo of the band that I had on the wall though because seeing it didn’t remind me of the happy memory of seeing them in concert for the very first time, it just reminded me that Zac is an awful person and his brothers are probably the same and just better at keeping their views private.

I always wanted to get my Hanson tattoo covered and redone but now I think I’m just going to get it covered. A lot of fans are selling or throwing out merch, but I don't want to do that so I've just packed the few things I have away so I don't have to see them for now.

Thinking about the time I met Zac makes me feel sick. It used to genuinely be the best day of my life that I could think about if I was having a shitty day and think “Hey, remember Zac Hanson hugged you”. I’m just so angry that he has tainted so many amazing and happy memories with the hateful rhetoric he is spewing now. I know over time it will hurt less but everything just hurts a lot right now.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk lmao.

#personal essay

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