#it feels impossible for it to change now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

heatsu · 8 months

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I'm getting more and more anxious about the upcoming parliamentary elections as the current ruling party has gone crazy with insane propaganda rambling and they're even getting to YouTube adds (which are fucking insane and delusional)

#idk man they've been ruling for 8 years not #now #it feels impossible for it to change now #especially with how tye leftist party has bad reputation and is also crazy/neg #i hate this government #i really love my country but it's political situation feels so hopeless

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 9 months

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I'm sorry I let down my guard.

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#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #xue yang #xiao xingchen #God DAMN this scene was brutal. Season 2 episode 2 is almost nothing but misery and anguish #Helena by Nickle Creek does not quite fit the comic's vibe but it is absolutely a Xue Yang song so I linked it.#The change from “Helena don't walk away...(gentle)” to “HELENA. DON'T WALK AWAY (threat)” is fantastic.#And “Don't waste your pretty sympathy - I'll always be just fine”. Xue Yang core.#Okay now for the real meat. Disclaimer first: *I really like XY.* I think he's a great character. I think his actions consistently-#come from a place of deep trauma. While his reactions and actions put him in a villainous role he is still human about his hurt #and what I'm about to say is NOT intended to be a statement of causality or villianize a group of misunderstood people.#So with that said...Man oh man does Xue Yang have a lot of BPD traits. More that just 'character who is chronically manipulative'.#The impulsivity and emotional reactions and seeking stability makes him feel like he needs that control. What other choice is there?#The part that really gets me is how he *wants* to be safe and happy. But his past experiences tell him how thats impossible #He's the kind of person who goes 'if you don't like me then you better hate me for something substantial". All (pos) or All (neg)#''Love me entirely or Hate me. But don't you dare leave me or forget about me.''#Not at all comfortable saying 'BPD coded'. Im not a psychiatrist. Just that he has TRAITS. Feel free to disagree or add your thoughts.#ppl with bpd also are not a monolith and everyone has very different experiences. Xue yang is very complex. People more so.

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puhpandas · 1 month

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ideal ggy reveal for me right now is some sort of game whatever format theyd use (for example sb vs hw is very different storytelling) about vanny killing dr rabbit and it leads up to the beginning of sb at the end

#like more vanny shows rab in a game therefore making ggy canon for sure explains why gregory was in the pizzaplex #would show one of the stepping stones vanny took to get to glitchtrap to kill him like she killed rab #it just makes sense to me #also works for vanny cassie #since rab will be no threat since hes dead so vanny has the spotlight #and gregory with his connection to cassie feels guilt over letting the same thing that happned to him and his family happen to her #so now he feels responsible to help her #leading to a game with gregory protag and vanessa and freddy co-protag/guides #im just explaining the secret little future fnaf game storyline im hoping for in my head #i just feel like if vanny cassie is real #which it RLLY seems like it is after hw2 #revealing ggy before some sort of action would be taken would mean a lot #for gregory and cassies relationship #he would uave been in her boat and feel guilt for not being fast enough to save her from tbe same fate #i know vanessa would work better because she was vanny but she has no connection or friendship with cassie like gregory does #and it gives ggy some importance too #that is kinda more to serve the cassie plot than to make ggy more important or overshadowing vanny #not that ggy could overshadow vanny if vanny cassie is happening lol #pandas.txt #thoughts #theory #kinda #im just being hopeful #by hw2s dlc things will be so different #its so impossible to guess whatll happen in a fnaf game #and what will change #superstar duo #ggy #this is ALSO heavily based on a theory of mine that vanny killed rab @ the beginning of sb and thats why greg was at the pizzaplex #and how he got freed and why rab is nowhere to be found

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graceful-not · 3 months

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No actually all of you need to sit your asses down bc I just watched the legacy shorts and. HOW HAVE I NEVER HEARD ANYONE SAY ANYTHING ABT THEM OTHER THAN GOLDEN HOUR AND SWEATING TO THE GOLDIES???? HOW HAS NO INE SAID A SINGLE THING ABOUT THE GOLDEN LEGEND SHORT?? OR THE ANIMATION STYLE OF GOLD RUSH???? I could have gone my whole life without watching those do you understand that. Why are we, as a fandom, not taking about these more, or like, AT ALL. we should be insane about this. We should be insane about this, right??? RIGHT??????

#ninjago #ninjago shorts #ninjago legacy shorts #ninjago golden legend #golden legend #legacy shorts #ninjago gold rush #*heartbroken gf voice* ninjago fandom... i feel like i dont even know u anymore.... u never tell me anything.... whats wrong babe...#i know it aired durinh seabound (i think?) but come ON guys its been so long why is no one capitalizing on this #windows into everything Ninjago could have been but wasnt. im literally a changed man now do u get it im never gonna be normal again #how am i supposed to just sleep after this #seriously though why did they go so hard. genuinely. why would they do this to me #why would they create something so good that im devastated by its impossibility of ever coming to fruition

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isfjmel-phleg · 2 months

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😐

#random personal stuff #personal whining ahead feel free to ignore #I have come to a conclusion #the next time I get another printed email with written instructions shoved at me #I am going to tell this man point-blank to forward me the original email with any additional information #and politely insist that these communications happen through email not paper #I don't think that's unreasonable #it is better for record-keeping that all of these communications take place through email #it's less wasteful of paper #I am not asking for complex monumental effort or even any extra effort at all #it is 2024 we have been using email at work for decades and surely emailing someone is not an impossible task #actually probably less time-consuming than printing emails and writing on them #if he can communicate through email with the professors making the requests and with our boss who is out this week he can email me too #and if he gets huffy about it and acts like I'm being unreasonable like he did last time I asked for a change #(i.e. please turn down your volume)#then that's on him #maybe I'm allowed to have reasonable expectations in this office too #(as I was typing this he shoved into my mailbox a printout of a record of a book he wants me to delete or something *sigh*)#(I'll build up to that but for now I'm starting with standing my ground on emails about book orders)

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hxhhasmysoul · 1 month

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wouldn't it be nice if the author of the fics finished them. the author is me.

#vent #for the last 4 months my life has been in stupid crisis mode #like constantly #from major ones where i had to move out for a while because it was impossible to stay where i lived #to not being able to use my kitchen for over a week #and like other more or less minor house related stuff that made it impossible for me to use something normally #not a single week without something like that or shit at work which is constantly being so fucking chaotic #and now someone died in my family #not someone very close but i liked them #and of course like feeling sad that they are gone can't be the only thing #because it has to come with the headache of i need to travel for their funeral and it's just before easter #so there's no one in this city to leave my dog with #because most of my friends either live abroad or have cats or are busy before easter..#i'd just want a week where nothing happens #and like the writing is weighing heavy on me #because i miss it #also i wish i could finish something #i wish something good would happen that i could feel proud off #also because i'm mentally ill and fucking stupid when i was going crazy with my kitchen not working and work shit #i bought new furniture #because after 15 years i've finally had enough money to buy some that aren't fucking black and inconvenient and ugly #which is like a huge project and a crisis i brought onto myself #just because i was too burnt out to write #and i wanted something nice to happen to me #like a nice living space that doesn't make feel like i have no ownership over it because everything in it was some else's choice #and that old furniture was bought by my mother and my brother ages ago and it's handmedowns #and my fucking horrible mother feels personally slighted that i want to get rid of a bed that is broken #because my brother's kids jumped on it regularly when they used to visit pre covid #yeah it's been broken that long because i lost all my savings during covid and had to change careers to a souless pointless corpo job #long pathetic whine and overshare over

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silverfoxstole · 4 months

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I finally started listening to In the Bleak Midwinter earlier while I was wrapping some presents and I think I would have enjoyed 24 Doors more without the structure of announcing the setting for each scene. I appreciate what John Dorney was trying to do but it kept taking me out of the story and made it seem like things took forever to get going. It was a nice little idea but for me a bit underwhelming.

That said, it’s lovely to hear Charley again and Audacity is much less aggravating, but I am concerned that having her there at this particular juncture will undermine the relationship between the Doctor and Charley, especially given what’s around the corner for them. Would they have got so close with someone else in the TARDIS? I’m not sure.

I’ll listen to the other two stories tomorrow and Friday but in the meantime I do agree with Audacity re Roy Wood and Wizzard: anyone who wishes it was Christmas every day is mad.

#i have misgivings about going back and adding extra companions like this when what’s going to happen relies so much on existing dynamics #i’ve also always liked the fact that with the eighth doctor there’s no need to shoehorn stories into gaps because he can keep going forward #until night of the doctor at least!#the charley and lucie sets were fine because they didn’t change anything just added adventures where there was a sensible gap #but with neverland/zagreus/scherzo looming this just doesn’t feel right to me #plus paul’s performance as the doctor has matured over the years and his voice has deepened #so it’s pretty much impossible to imagine him as younger eight in these stories #doctor who #eighth doctor #big finish #i will freely admit that i prefer older eight these days because i’m that much older now myself #so these sets probably aren’t for me

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milkweedman · 8 months

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forcing myself to "eat protein" and "be responsible" after once again encountering a week long period of all my muscles hurt so bad and are so weak despite doing the same thing they always do assuming without checking that it was probably because im eating mostly coffee and plain untoasted bread in small quantities. and its not even a whey bread or 100% whole wheat, ive been trying to use up my bread flour/whole wheat blend (i dumped them in the bucket together, maybe on accident ? unclear) so its just that with whatever else i threw in. spent $6 on the only yogurt in the store that had at least 5 grams of protein per 1/4 cup, which is still very little, only to get home and finally google what the symptoms of protein deficiency are. they are not that. those are the symptoms of Who Fucking Knows, As Always

#i dont even like yogurt...#god the food situation is so bad #so it turns out i can do one of the following--but badly and it takes more than 100% of my energy and is miserable and untenable long term #and involves injuring myself to do it: school. work. taking care of stuff around the house. taking care of myself.#i can do ONE.#i also dont get to pick because obviously i have to work #so feeding myself (even like making a bowl of cereal or eating a granola bar) is so impossibly difficult that i can only really do it #at night when high and finally able to feel hunger #and even then its still incredibly difficult and i usually get as far as cutting a slice of bread and then giving up and eating it plain #most of the actual meals i eat are because my roommates are usually kind enough to make enough dinner for 3 #but i also have very weird and frequently changing dietary needs that i have not communicated 2 anyone so i cant necessarily actually eat i #have cooked some and made sandwiches a few times but its very clear i am borrowing from tomorrows spoons....#i ran out of the ensure a bit ago and i will get more although none of the stores nearby sell it #but i absolutely cannot afford to live off it #have luckily found that if i just drink one in the morning it staves off the majority of the nonstop random nausea attacks #so a 12 pack would last a lot longer but then its like. so now i need to figure out the eating thing again #cant win etc etc #augh. anyway. complaining over #disordered eating #chronic illness

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silverjirachi · 3 months

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uh oh sisters! new avatar adaptation is looking like its gonna suck again

#it looks like they're gonna make it too gritty #albeit it ALREADY looks better than the.. other one #but what people fail to understand that animation and live action are inherently different mediums even though they're both movies/tv #and whenever you change the medium of a story #you HAVE to be very aware of what the medium itself is doing to the source text #and how that story used the strengths of its medium #and how the new medium will lack these strengths #but how the new medium will have different strengths that should be drawn out #and despite what people think #'grittiness' is not inherently a strength of live action #it's really trite and overdone now and avatar the last airbender #NEEDS the inherent JOY that comes from the medium of animation #which is NOT impossible to capture in live action #but if you do not center that feeling #the whole thing falls apart #anyways #ATLA needs joy because even though the story is actually very intense #it is at its heart about a young boy who chooses joy in spite of that #any adaptation that doesn't capture that is never going to have the same heart the animated series had

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risingsunresistance · 2 months

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damn i kinda dont like it here anymore

#will still post when i get back to skyblock but i've been on break for like a week now and Do Not wanna go back yet #and on the mcyt side... ew #keep getting gut-wrenching feelings every time i look at my notes and have to see your guys' icons #i take back what i said initially seeing wilbur makes me ill i want nothing to do with him #reblogs old posts etc NOTHING. im not mass deleting bc again archive or whatever but he will NOT be back here as of now #so like. yall with the c!wilbur icons. cut that shit out. please consider how it makes other people feel lmao #none of that separating the character and creator shit I Dont Want To See Him. ANY of him. i dont care if ''it's not him''#goes for other nasty ppl but sbi-adjacent ppl are more likely to be the ones interacting with me. so more relevant #you're free to do whatever YOU want im not saying you HAVE to change your icon. but you'll probably get blocked at least by me lol #idk how everyone else is taking it bc i follow like 2 mcyt accounts nowadays but that's how i feel. i dont want him here anymore #it's like this stuff keeps following me around it feels impossible to avoid while i run this account #ugh #maybe one day this account will finally get set to private and TRULY be Just An Archive

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videoviolence · 11 months

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over 500 anti-trans bills country-wide being introduced, protections being revoked, attempted legal eradication, but sure lets infight about what identifiers trans people can call themselves or what we do at pride

#feeling so powerless as I watch on the news right fucking now how in a month it'll be impossible to change my gender ID in my state #if you genuinely get so up in arms over words used as self identifiers in good-faith . in this time of history .#actually fucking insane #hudson.txt

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thecurvyprince · 5 months

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It's so ridiculous being transgender as an adult. You'll have spent your entire life being conditioned (even by your own self) to believe that so many things just aren't options for you. You deeply internalize the "knowledge" that it would be impossible to be who you want to be and have the body you want to have.

So then you might find yourself in situations where you sheepishly ask a doctor who specializes in trans healthcare if you can have the minimal of help, just enough to keep surviving, because you know that if you asked for what you want, that the answer would be "no" (it has always been "no"). And then are surprised by your own excitement when the very thing you secretly wanted is offered to you with full sincerity as a very real option and with absolute intent to follow it through with you.

As though the whole time you were keeping it as this buried secret, this personal ache of want. But you never actually allowed yourself to consider it anything more than a dream. So when it becomes real and you can finally conceptualize it as a real choice, only then are you able to feel just how badly you wanted it the whole time.

Does that make sense?? It couldn't be real and even though you're desperate for it because you're not sure you can survive without it for much longer, you still don't allow yourself to consider how deeply you WANT it. You never know just how excited you'd be about it. You expected for so long to have to settle for less and never considered that you'd have the choice.