The police in Scotland have the chance to do the most funniest thing right now.

Mahoe’s Note: I’m back! Apparently. I’m slowly working on old stuff I just didn’t finish last time I was here, but for now, here’s something for anyone who might still be lurking here. 

I’ll probably do a fair few for this theme, a couple more One Piece are already in the works and I’ll do some for a few other fandoms too. So if anyone has any characters in mind they’d like to see do let me know and I’ll see what I settle on. I overwrote for this too, I’m sorry.

Notice! - this is a rework/repost of my writing from my old blogs, some of which have been deleted and some which are still around but inactive. I want to redo these so they’re following me over here and are better written than they used to be.

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Warnings: Swearing, spoilers for some TV shows? A few references to adult activities I guess? So maybe the tiniest bit of NSFW? 

Themes/Incudes: Modern AU, Domestic Life

Word Count: 1801

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Living with... Eustass Kid

Lives in a flat, not a house. Probably one of the flats above a corner shop or takeaway place that looks a bit ugly from the outside. It’s a cheap rental flat, probably with a boat load of problems the landlord just isn’t going to fix, but it’s home and it gets the job done.

The flat is in a rough city central location, but it’s still an area where everyone looks out for one another. It’s a weirdly tight knit community with the odd petty crime and those ‘unfavourable types’ hanging around. 

I genuinely see Kid living in Scotland or the North/North East of England. Maybe the Midlands or somewhere in Ireland too. Places with some rough little areas, but good people that’ll bend over backwards for you at the same time? It’s hard to explain.

You will forever have mixed feelings over your decision to move in with Kid. Sometimes living with him is the greatest, but, the rest of the time you want to just smother him in his sleep.

Arguments are bound to happen every single day and they’ll often be over the pettiest of reasons. You walked past the TV screen while he was gaming online? Instant argument. You didn’t put his beer in the fridge so he has to drink the room temperature stuff? Oh boy, he’s pissed. He’s left the toilet seat up and you’re giving him grief over it? Absolute screaming match.

“Y/N, where the hell is the bread?” “Oh, we ran out,” “Fucks sake! Why the fuck did you not go out and buy more then!?”

Don’t take these arguments to heart too much, they really don’t matter to him, the need to bitch is just in Kid’s nature.

Thankfully, very serious arguments are a rarity but they are the scariest.

Your neighbours genuinely really hate you both, I’m sorry, it’s true. They’re praying for the day you’ll move out and inconvenience someone else.

Probably have had the police called out to your home for being such disruptive neighbours. Don’t expect Kid to apologise in these situations, he really doesn’t care about your neighbours feelings. In fact, he’s likely to go out of his way to be an even worse neighbour the more he knows he’s getting under their skin.

The amount of apologies you have had to make to the community is absolutely sinful, but someone has to do it and you’re kidding yourself if you think Kid will. Sorry is a word that barely makes it into his vocabulary and is reserved for the worst of fuckups.  

Has been arrested for giving the coppers a hard time on these home visits and is on a first name basis with most of the police in your town.

Your neighbours will hear absolutely everything that you guys do, so try not to be too embarrassed. Kid doesn’t have an inside voice and borderline shouts every other word so no matter whether you’re in the middle of a heated argument or are getting down and dirty, they just know.

Nights at home consist of junk food, the occasional takeaway and raunchy TV series’. Game of Thrones, The Boys, basically anything with explicit sex scenes, nudity and bloody violence has Kid super game. He’ll indulge you with series like Bridgerton and True Blood if they’re your cup of tea. For the tits, he’ll absolutely power through.

However, Kid will complain if you want to watch something that’s not to his taste at all, namely cheesy chick flicks or long period dramas with no action whatsoever. He’d honestly rather die.

Despite that, he secretly really enjoyed Grey’s Anatomy. All the doctors just fuck each other and do surgery all day, so he thinks it’s a little cool.

He was absolutely not okay when McDreamy died, he had to excuse himself to hide in the bathroom for five minutes just so you wouldn’t see, and refused to watch past that point. Fuck Grey’s Anatomy and fuck TV script writers.  

Was exactly the same over Ned Stark death, but he did manage to power on and keep watching through to the end. 

Metal music is played almost constantly throughout the day. Rock too, especially glam and classic rock, but never anything else.

Date nights usually consist of going into town to get drunk at various pubs before partying the night away at all the nightclubs in the area, no matter how sleazy the places are. Going to gigs and festivals are also extremely common.

If you’re at a gig or a festival, Kid will let you sit on his shoulders so you have the absolute best view. He’ll also use his strength to push forward to the very front so you’re as close to the stage as possible. Praise him for this or he’ll get pouty.

If anyone tries to squeeze your bum or touch you inappropriately in any way while you’re sitting on his shoulders, Kid will beat the absolute shit out of them. No one’s cupping a feel without being punished severely afterwards. Same goes for if you’re crowd surfing, the minute he sees any hands creeping where they shouldn’t or trying to pull you down, he’s there with fists flying.

Kid will also accompany you to any gigs for musicians he’s not the biggest fan of, but expect him to stand there looking annoyed and miserable. It’s the handsome boy bands that he hates taking you to see the most, he gets far too jealous.  

As a couple you have the most basic weekly routine that you had to make up to keep the household functional. Yes, you had to make it, Kid certainly wouldn’t. All household chores are to be done by Sunday at the latest and grocery shopping has to be done the same day so you don’t starve for the rest of the week or spend all of your money on takeaway. Sunday’s are always primetime for the most arguments because of this.

Kid is in charge of taking all of the bins out and he hates it. You’re pretty much on your own for the rest of the cleaning.

Expect him to make a lot of mess because Kid is entirely incapable of tidying up after himself. He’ll leave his clothes all over the floor, bread crumbs all over the bench and if he misses when he does try to throw something into the bin it’ll sit on the floor until you tend to it.

Kid doesn’t know how to work a washing machine but he’ll hang the clean clothes on the washing line or put them on the radiators to dry for you.

Kid is the type of guy who leaves crumbs in the butter and puts plates with food still on them straight into the sink.

Killer is always over at the flat. Always. And Kid wouldn’t have it any other way. At this point, Killer may as well just move into your spare room because the two are always hanging out together.

Mornings are ridiculously hectic because both of you want to use the bathroom first. Don’t waste your time, Kid will often win because he’ll just wrestle you back down into bed and then sprint down the hallway to the bathroom before you’ve even had the chance to get back up.

If you’re not gaming or watching TV together, you’re listening to music and doing cute creative hobbies. Kid surprisingly likes to make jewellery, often pretty but Gothic in design. He’ll give you some of it and sell the rest on Etsy or eBay.

Kid can draw very very well. Mostly he focuses on mechanical looking designs, but sometimes he’ll just sit and draw detailed sketchings of you while you’re distracted doing something else. If you ask he’ll spend some time teaching you how to draw too, he’s not a patient or kind teacher though.

Kid is a fairly frequent Snapchat and Instagram user. He’ll post the standard stuff like photos from a recent gig he attended, pictures of his art and a snap of the coolest addition to his growing weapons collection. But of course there are the couple selfies too and photos of you bending over to pick something up from the floor with a caption like ‘my view when I’m fucking them tonight’. He may or may not delete those depending on how nicely you ask him. 

Kid often gets banned from social media and from online gaming for periods of time. During these periods Kid gets extra volatile because he’s so bored. He’ll also get extra horny because in his mind all he can do is watch porn and fuck. So, beware, he will hound you.

He either stays up stupidly late which makes him extra grumpy in the morning or he’ll go to bed at the same time as you so he can get away with cuddling without it being seen as him being cute or romantic.

Your home is usually messy and chaotic, I’m sorry, it’s just the truth. No matter what kind of cleaning you do, Kid does not care enough about it and really isn’t going to pull his weight. People best not come to his flat if they’re going to bitch at him about his mess; he’ll gladly tell anyone who does to fuck off.

Kid will get rid of any spiders for you if you’re frightened of them, he’s your reliable pest controlling man, so don’t worry. But he will definitely tease you during and after disposing of it. He also might pretend like he’s going to come over and throw the spider at you to scare you a bit, but honestly, he 100% wouldn’t follow through because he knows you might break up with him or at least put a sex ban on him for a while if he did. He’s really not going to risk that.

Honestly a sex ban is probably the easiest way to get him to comply, but you can’t use it too much or he’ll wise up and know you’re full of shit. 

Speaking of sex, the man has quite the libido and the stamina to match. You have to keep up with all of his wants and needs, but he’s not selfish enough to not tend to yours. 

Fucking is for every day/night of the week and he will be outraged if you try to to make any sort of schedule for it. When he’s got the urge, and that’s often, he’ll come to you. He’s not going to wait for Wednesday night after work and dinner. Fuck that. 

Beast in the Beauty - Chapter 2

pairing: profiler Hyunjae x detective f!reader 

genre & warnings: jack the ripper au, angst, violence, thriller, crime, mentions of prostitution, graphic description of death, major characters death, alcohol, some fluff

word count: 2,332

series masterlist 

Dear Lord heavens, have your eyes been blessed.

That was the immediate thought you had inside your head. You had no idea someone this beautiful worked in the headquarters. Heck you’ve always had the mindset that older men in their late 40s and above were the only existing members in Scotland Yard. 

Was this individual new to the police force? How many years has he been part of the team? 

There were so many questions running through your mind right now (even having the urge to have a time with only the both of you so that you can bombard him with any thoughts you have). But you knew that it wasn’t a great time now and there were more pressing matters on hand.  

Eventually you found out that he is a profiler. Well damn that adds another bonus point to him. He had just been promoted to Scotland Yard not too long ago and he was placed at a rural district in the past. 

Apparently his abilities and skills were praised as he has assisted several neighbouring districts in cracking multiple cold cases and has a 100% accuracy most of the time in catching the culprit. You mentally thanked Chief Ayden for bringing such fine gentlemen into the team. 

Hyunjae wasted no time in getting the case going. He already has gone through the files and documents beforehand so he was already on the same page as you all were. 

You were mesmerized with the way he speaks and presents his ideas, and he was damn well a good talker. He has the leadership skills and an aura which makes everyone else in the team willing to give their full attention to him at all times. 

After the short briefing, all of you were split into teams and given your own tasks to deal with. Haknyeon and Eric were sent by the chief to interrogate and give the victim’s family comfort, which left you and Hyunjae to go investigate the actual crime scene together. 

“So how did you like my presentation back there sweetheart?”

Your ears pricked and turned back to Hyunjae with an absolutely flustered look. Hell nobody told you he was flirty like that.

“I- Umm- Yeah it was very detailed and great. And umm- you can just address me by my name.”

“That’s the thing. You have yet to tell me your name.”

Ah yes. What a great way to start off this friendship. You mentally yelled at yourself.

“Y/N. I’m sorry that I never introduced myself properly beforehand.” 

“That’s alright. It’s just a habit of mine to tease. Also, it’s rare to see a female detective in this day and age.”

It was true. There are barely any female officers yet alone detectives during this era. You were one of a kind and you have gone through hell and pain securing where you are now. 

Going into law school and studying criminology during your earlier days was a battle between you and your parents, knowing well why they were concerned about your future. 

Sure, the law enforcement isn’t a safe place for females to be at, especially in Whitechapel. Despite all the hate and backlash you received back in the days, you still pulled through and proved your parents wrong, showing that you were well suited to join the force.

It took many years and effort to finally rise up to the ranks of becoming a detective, previously working just as a coffee girl and dealing with the basic office administration work. But you are proud of where you’re at now. 

You and Hyunjae had small talks here and there as the both of you made your way to the crime scene.

You didn’t expect him to be this jovial and hilarious, especially when your first impression of him was giving a well-presented report of the cold case back in the chief’s office, adding on to the fact that he is able to recite his findings in the most attractive way possible.

Once you both arrive at the scene, Hyunjae then immediately switches to his profiler persona, and you know that it’s about time to get serious and play the detective role instead. 

Hyunjae was able to analyse the scene in such a detailed manner, that there were one or two findings that were missed out from the investigation report that was submitted to the office last night.

He also makes sure that you aren’t left out, making necessary and relatable comments in between each finding to make sure that you’re also given the opportunity to voice your own opinions and thoughts. 

Witnessing how Hyunjae works in person, you now understand how he was able to be promoted from the rural districts to Scotland Yard. 

However, the few additional findings weren’t enough to add on much to the existing ones from last night as the killer was careful enough to not leave any sorts of traces behind. Not even a single hair follicle, fingerprints, DNA, nothing. 

You both needed something more, and you just had the perfect solution to offer to your new partner.

“I know just the right person to talk to to get the answers we need.” 

You both made your way to Foster’s street, which Hyunjae thought was odd as it was a red-light district. The man even teased jokingly that you were about to make a move on him right on the first day you both met.

You walked straight into the infamous brothel, Cherry Hunt, and right through the reception. Standing there was Mrs. Potts, the owner of the brothel itself, already knows at this hour you’re here for investigation. 

“She’s in her room. And I’m afraid she wouldn’t be needing any clients at the moment.” The old lady takes her pen in hand and points straight at Hyunjae.

“Oh no ma'am. He’s with me, and we will be needing her help in an investigation.”

It did take a while to convince Mrs Potts, but you know that’s how much she protects her employees.

You then lead Hyunjae up to the second floor, making your way to room 8. You knocked and within seconds the door was flung open and a female jumped right into your arms, just like a puppy who hasn’t seen their owner in days.

“Y/N!!! Gosh, you stink, have you been drowning yourself in work and with those filthy men from the station.” 

“Excuse you Selene, I have just taken a long hot shower this morning. If anything, blame the sooty fogs that engulfs Whitechapel. And you’re lucky Eric and Haknyeon weren’t here, otherwise you’ll be owing them 2 pints of beer and a meal down in Ten Bells pub.” 

Selene then turned to the brunette male, and hugged you tighter. “To whom do I owe the pleasure to speak with?” Obviously not trusting the man one bit. 

“He’s Hyunjae and don’t worry he’s with Scotland Yard.” You reassured you clingy friend who was still wrapped all around you.

Not wanting to continue the conversation in the hallways, Selene then guides you both into her room. 

Selene has been your station’s undercover agent and has helped you in multiple cases. Because of her job, she’s able to gather a lot of intel from places that were basically out of the detective’s league, mostly ones from the red-light districts, which also meant knowing the victim personally from last night.

“Poor Vivian. She was one of the best girls that we’ve known from the past several years. I really do hope that she’s able to get the justice she needs so that she’s able to live in peace.”

“That’s why we’re here Selene. Can you tell us anything you might know? Even the slightest tiny detail will do.” You grabbed hold of both Selene’s hands in yours, praying for something useful that you’ll be able to use in the investigation.

“Hmm I don’t know much about her client from last night, since he was new and he wasn’t registered in Mrs. Potts’s books. I guess they probably hooked up randomly in the streets when Vivian probably needed a little more pocket money than usual.” 

Hyunjae then chimes in. “Have you seen who the man was? Or did Vivian do anything in particular that was unusual before she left?” 

“No unfortunately nobody knew who he was nor seen his face.” Selene’s facial expression then begins to light up as she continues on. “But I’ve heard witnesses say that the male was taller than usual.” 

“That’s great information Selene. You have been such a great help.” Hyunjae reached out his hand and gave Selene’s a friendly shake.

Not wanting to spend too much time here as you had more pressing matters at hand, you both bid Selene a farewell and left the brothel.

Right before you closed her door though, Selene pulled you backwards slightly and whispered into your ears. “I have no idea how on earth you managed to find such a fine specimen but if you’ve had enough of him please send him my way dear.”

You pushed Selene back and looked at her in disgust “As if I’d ever let him into my own personal space.” 

“Hyunjae, are you sure we’re done for the day? With all due respect I don’t think we really made much progress-” You were cut off abruptly by the brunette. 

“Sweetheart, it takes time and patience to be able to get your hand on concrete evidence. The answers don’t just fall from the sky easily.”

“Well.. I’m sorry..” You mumbled and without you realising you were actually pouting right in front of Hyunjae. 

“You’re adorable Y/N.” He chuckled. He would want to continue teasing you all day just to be able to replay this scene over and over again. He then continues, “But to answer your question, your friend Selene has actually given us a clue to move on from.” 

You tilted your head up, showing Hyunjae a confused expression. “How so?” You questioned.

“The fact that we have a specific range of height for our man of interest, which saves us big time from finding potential suspects among ten and thousands of possible candidates. Your friend mentioned that he was taller than usual, so I’d paint the picture that the male himself would be at least 180 centimetres tall or more than that, which then helps us narrow down our search.”

With that, Hyunjae then places his hand right on top of your head and then bends down to reach the same eye-level as you were. “I’d say we did a good job as partners on our first day, Y/N.” 

It was an hour before midnight and you and Eric were down at Ten Bells pub, a place where the detectives would often be seen releasing all of their steam from work.

It was also your favourite though, as there was often live music almost every night. And oh gosh, you’re a sucker for jazz music, the key to relieving your stress from the day. 

When all of you got back to the station to report your findings, you were surprised that Haknyeon and Eric were also able to gather a few useful intel that helped the team get a better picture of who the perpetrator might be. Though there are still a lot more areas to be patched up and narrowed down further to determine who were the individuals that you were truly looking for. 

Hyunjae, being the team’s profiler and a cheerleader at the same time, has definitely given the team the encouragement to further pursue the case. You were internally very grateful that Chief Ayden found someone like him to be part of the cold case squad. 

Your thoughts kept running wild on the puzzle pieces of the case, until that familiar voice cut your stream of thoughts off. 

“Hello? Earth to Y/N???”

It was Eric. And he was back with two pints of beer for each of you both. You both sat at your usual seat, at the table right at the corner of the pub, as you liked for your surroundings to be ever more slightly quiet than usual so that you could enjoy the music far away from the crowd. 

“I see that someone has clearly been distracted from their job since this morning.” 

“What are you talking about Eric?”

“Don’t play dumb with me Y/N, you know damn well yourself that I always see through your lies.” Taking a sip of his beer, he then presses on. “Admit it, you like Hyunjae.”

“No I don’t.” You said to the young male as you chug down the pint of beer right in front of you.

Eric doesn’t give up and he continues to scooch over closer to you, ever so expanding his eyes to look straight into yours.

You admitted defeat. “Fine, yes I find him attractive. Is that a problem?”

“No. But it’s rare to see you falling heads over heels for someone especially when you’ve never expressed any interest towards any men before.” Eric then puts on this biggest smirk and you know he’s about to say something outrageous. 

“So, when do I get the wedding invitation letter from my mailbox?”

You immediately slapped his arms away as he laid them over your shoulder and told him to either go drink with some other girls in the pub or change the topic. Knowing his options were limited, he chose the latter. 

Time ticked by fast when you realised it was already an hour past midnight. You both knew you had to return home and get some shut eye as you had to be at the office way earlier than your usual shift, especially with the killer still out there and about. 

Just as you both were about to depart from the pub itself, one of the junior constables that was patrolling the streets came running in finding any detectives available for the night.

“There has been another murder.”

main masterlist

Domestic Headcanons

Summary: Domestic headcanons with everyone’s favorite ogre! (Oni?)

Pairing: Loathsome Leonard/Reader (Established Relationship) 

Content Warnings: None!

Word Count: 1142

[A/N: I can’t fucking believe I wrote 1k words for a single character headcanon. girl i don’t even simp for him what the fuck. and i wanted to write even MORE but it was getting too long. leonard simps this one’s for you <3]

Danny’s Here // Mickey’s Here 

When you’re such a well-known, prolific criminal - especially in his specific line of work - it’s hard to really settle down into a domestic life. He wants to, he really does. But when the cops are constantly on your tail, moving around is simply a fact of life. And crime has always been a part of his life: it’s not something he can just drop and move on from. But he tries his best to make each place feel a little bit less like a safehouse and more like a home. And at the end of the day, home truly is with the people you love. Nothing can replace that. Although he does dream of defecting from Mama’s rule, taking the money for you guys and the rest of the crew and finding the dream life, it isn’t exactly feasible. He knows she’d catch onto his plan, likely before he even initiated it. But he can dream, right? Maybe someday he’ll save up enough of his earnings to find a little home for you two.

If you have a home top-side though… ecstatic doesn’t even begin to describe it. He’s not real obvious about it, of course, but you can tell that he’s happy to finally have a place that he can feel safe in. And better yet, it’s with you.

He’s a very good mechanic. Pretty good handyman in general, actually! You’ll never have to call the repair guy again. He almost never uses a measuring tape, but fortunately he’s damn good at eyeballing shit.

Gets kind of freaked out if you guys don’t have a garage? He’s a little paranoid about it, especially because he does NOT want his bike stolen. He’ll start pawning stuff he finds in the Hidden City to afford a garage if he has to, honestly. Fortunately, that ALSO means you guys can start piling stuff in there. Free hangout spot.

He spends at least an hour on his hair most mornings. He uses clay instead of gel, so it usually takes less time on the second day. He’ll still mess with it throughout the day, though. He’s got an image to keep up, babe!

Never wears his cloaking necklace in the house. You’re waiting for the day that the FBI or Scotland Yard or something fucking break into your house for hiding a demon.

In another life, he could have worked as a chef, no joke. He can make pretty much anything, honestly. He’s not one to follow recipes to the T, but that’s what makes his food so good. And his barbeque is the best!! If you guys are top-side, it’s really funny to look out the window and see him cooking because you never fucking recognize him. It’s weird seeing him in… not yokai form. If you’re not, though? Fuck yeah, brother. 

He hates soybeans so much, it’s unreal. Like, he’d rather die than eat them. He has no other reasoning than “they suck.” Sorry if you like tofu, but he’s not gonna touch that shit with a 30 foot pole.

His voice is very rumbly in the morning, it’s nice.

Local plant killer. He’ll find a way to kill a cactus without even trying. Very impressed if you have a green thumb, though.

He likes to order out a lot. If he finds something he likes he tends to stick with it, but he’s not opposed to trying new places. He’s not picky, but he does like to give you shit <3

He sucks at decorating. Like, he has no eye for it at all.

Always the first to put away the dishes! He’s very fast at it as well. 

He’s really good about making coffee at night, or when he wakes up in the morning. If you’re not awake yet, he’ll always make your drink of choice just before you wake up. He’s good about that sort of thing. Also, he likes to pretend that he drinks his coffee black, but he actually pours a fuck ton of maple syrup in it when nobody’s looking. In the same vein, he takes his tea black. If anything, he’ll add a bit of milk to it, but that’s rare. He likes spiced teas the most, but he’s not insanely picky. Hates chamomile, though.

There’s a lot of temporary shelters that you guys hide out in the Hidden City when you’re unable to leave, and the heat gets too hot to handle, with a few semi-permanent places. His favorite hideout is a little farm way out in the countryside. If he had to choose a place to live forever, that would be his dream home. The trees out that way grow tall, with deep green trunks that reflect cobalt blue light at night. The megafauna roams freely, creatures the size of skyscrapers soaring slowly through the air, or sending rumbles through the ground with their colossal hooves in the late afternoon. And yet, they always go around the home. Magically warded, perhaps? Or are they intelligent enough to avoid a dwelling? Neither of you are sure, but he knows that he’d love to live his life here, with you. Something about it just feels right.

King of bonfires. It happens at least once every two weeks. The flames dance high, changing colors every few seconds. Something about the wood makes the flames dance and change hue, unlike the wood from your own world. It’s nothing new to him, but it’s absolutely magical to you. You two will happily spend the night out there, watching the flames dance and the megafauna roam. Your laughter echoes through the land, and you truly feel at home in this little cabin.

Yes, the guys absolutely come over often if you aren’t hiding out with them. Come on, they’re family.

He’s pretty good at Mortal Kombat! Expect game nights every now and then. Also he absolutely lost his mind over the new Mortal Kombat movie. No cap, he’d fuck Liu Kang. He’s very excited for the next movie, but tbh he hates Johnny Cage. Okay I’ll stop talking about mortal kombat now i prommy

He’s not super big into gaming, but he’s happy to watch you if you are. Little bit of a backseat gamer, but just kiss him. It’ll either keep him quiet or prompt more quips,  but at least you get kisses.

He really wants a dog. He can’t exactly have one at the moment, but he’d really like one. He’s a fan of most kinds of dogs, but he’d like one that’s fairly strong. His ideal dog would be a Cane Corso!

Loves action movies and horror movies. Come on, have you seen his line of work?

Honestly, 10/10 husband. The life he leads isn’t one to lend itself to domesticity, but he’s never been one to take “no” for an answer. And he’s gonna do everything he can to make a life for the both of you, no matter what.

BUSINESS AND PLEASURE

Johnny “Coco” Cruz x Chibs Telford’ daughter!Reader

“What if you should move to Santo Padre for two months...”

Chapter one.

Word count: 3.4k

Author comments: I hope you all enjoy. English isn’t my first language, so I’m sorry if I have some mistakes with grammar. Gif credits: @angels-reyes.

Thanks to my lovely beta reader and partner in crime with this one, @chibsytelford 💘

Tag list: @starrynite7114 @dazzledamazon @chibsytelford @mara-mpou @sammskellington 💥 (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

Since you've been forced to move from Glasgow to Charming, your life has been a roller coaster with noisy falls into hell. Some days you were fine, the rest you were only available to create chaos around you. Your mother died because of a terminal disease, after fighting for two years, and the last time you saw your father before that it was when you were a child. Came to live with him after twelve years without no contact, except for a few calls every month, it was hard. Harder than he could imagine. 

The first days you were locked in the room he enabled to you in his house, where you only had a bed, a nightstand and a wardrobe. No picture, no colors around, nothing. It was kinda depressing. At least, he tried. He tried to re-build the good relationship you two have had in the past, before your mother kicked his ass out of Scotland, when Clay said he needed him at California, with the Sons'. 

Filip used to cook your favourite dishes, having had to learn to cook before. At first you only ate two or three bites, until one morning when you woke up hearing him screaming in scottish. You've never heard him so angry, and that scared you. Barefoot and silently, you went out of your room, sticking your head by the door frame of the kitchen. Unbelievable. He was arguing with his phone. Specifically with YouTube. You could see how he was watching a recipe of baked fish. It sounded easy, right? The problem was the sauce. Apparently he forgot to add some ingredients, and he had to repeat it from the start.

“Shit!” He shouted hitting the marble countertop, supporting his fist on it with his head down and a sigh in his mouth. “Fuckin' pepper and fuckin' lemon”.

“I don't like”. You said in a whisper, getting out of your hiding place. 

He turned at you frowned and upset, leaning against the furniture. Cross-armed, he shook his head with his gaze on the floor. You knew how frustrated he was, trying to kick you out of that sadness that it was consuming you. You lost your mother, you had to move out of your country, from the cold to the heat. And you truly hated sunny days. 

“I just... wanna make you feel like you're at home”. He said kinda desperately, scratching his head hard, completely disheveled. “I know this is not Scotland, nor your house. It's ok if you miss it, but this situation is killing me too. So, please, give me a break...”

You heard every word he told you, feeling the same knot he felt on his chest, and his voice about to drown in tears. You walked slowly towards him, looking inside your head for the correct things to say.

“I like the way you cook, but you scared the shit out of me, 'cause I didn't know you were shouting at YouTube”. You thought maybe some kind of joke could help, while he was holding your hands. “I don't like pepper, nor lemon, so it's fine. Maybe... we could have lunch together, if you're not busy with the club”.

“Fuc' da' club, caileag”. For the first time, you saw him smiling and it was amazing. “Do you think everything will be fine?” He sounded sad, simply sad. But you nodded without any doubt.

“We will be fine, athair”.

That was all he needed to hear. Chibs leaned towards you, placing a hand behind your head to leave a kiss on your forehead. Your hands held on his waist in a warm hug that you were wanting to give him since you arrived to Cali.

━━━━━━ (One year later) ━━━━━━

But what happened next was totally unexpected. You hear Happy talking with his prospect, around the corner of the workshop, about a dangerous mission they have to take care of, keeping them for two months out of Charming. And by Chibs decision, you're not coming. But he didn't tell you anything about it, before. Walking in the front yard, you find six motorbikes and a van you don't recognize from your charter, but belong to an MC. You're angry, so angry. Your steps are heavy and big, going faster to the clubhouse, taking off the rings of your fingers to keep them inside the pocket. You open the door suddenly, without warning the men who seems mexican sitting closer to your father. You only can see that fucking scottish who made a promise he's not gonna keep. And he sees the fury burning in your orbs. 

“Oh, shit”. It's everything he can say before one of your fists go straight to his face.

“Woah, woah, take it easy, chamaca!” One of the unknown man talks, trying to walk next to you, until you point it at him with the gun you had tucked under your shirt. All the men raise their hands with their eyes so much opened, letting you know that they're not gonna interfere again.

Time have passed. Some wounds has been closed and you have got used to the heat of the coast. Now, you're not who you used to be. SAMCRO changed you, having its good things and its bad things. You lost all the innocence you had, learning to defend yourself by fighting body-to-body and shooting weapons of different calibers. Happy and Tig usually try to catch you by surprise hitting you, but your faster than their old asses, blocking every hit that comes from nowhere. And sometimes you ‘play’ paintball with Juice on his free day. You're one of the Redwood family, being included in every mission one way or another, working hand by hand with the prospect; with the minimal difference that your father is your sponsor. This gives you two some problems because of the strong character you have inherited from him. And there are some times when you end up being beaten. The crew is used to it.

You turn to your father, who is rubbing his right cheek between some groans, supporting a hand on the pool table. You're breathing distressed with your eyes full of tears. You know how it works. When he leaves Charming, you don't have any notices for almost one week. You live every day with the pain of not knowing if he's still alive or not. Two months is too long. You can't even live without him at this point of your life, how are you supposed to do it?

“You promised me!” You yell at him pointing your chest with your own forefinger. “You said ‘us against the world’! You said it!”

Your voice is breaking, drowned by the tears that run down your face and your neck.

“You're a fucking liar! You're doin' the same you did thirteen years ago!” Yes, you can see how your words are affecting him, but you don't care. 

“Baby, listen...” He tries to give some steps towards you, receiving a push on his chest.

“I don' wanna hear more bullshit”. Putting the gun again behind your back, you turn to the front door, with a slight pause next to the other charter. “By the way”. You stare to the man you pointed seconds ago. “Next time I'm talking to my father, you shut the fuck up...” Reading his patch, you raise your eyes at him. “Presidente”.

You slam the door shut after you leave, seeing Happy next to your motorbike. He knows you know what is gonna happen by the tears running your cheeks. But even if you don't wanna talk with him, being your confidant since you came to Charming, he wraps strongly your body with his arms before you can run away from him. Crying inconsolably, you hide your face on his chest without moving your arms, only supporting your weight against him. Happy rest his chin on your head with a sigh, 'cause he knows well how much you suffer when your father attends a mission out of town.

“Are you leaving too?” You finally ask, even when you don't wanna hear the answer. He nods slowly, cleaning your tears with his long fingers.

“I'm sorry. I promise I'll try to write you”. He says hoarsely. “I'm sure you didn't let Chibs explain himself, but listen… Not even my prospect is coming. It's really dangerous for you two, we're gonna be ok, (Y/N)”.

“Who are they? What are they doing here?”

“They're Mayans, from Santo Padre. Oscar and Canche ‘family’. We can't leave you here, alone, without any protection. So, Chibs asked them to take care of you while we're out”.

Now you understand what's happening. It's suppose you should move from Charming to the south Cali, surrounded by men you don't know. Leave your house, again. Your cry appears again, shaking your head with some sobs stuck on your throat.

“Baby, listen, listen”. Happy try to have your attention cupping your face between his hands. “They're good men, they're gonna take care of you. And Canche will go to Santo Padre every week to see you”.

“I don' wanna go, Happy. I wanna go with you, please”. You beg in tears, with your lips trembling.

“(Y/N), you can't”. He sentences, trying not to sound too rude. He snort closing his eyes for a second. “Listen, they also have a car scrapping. You can work there. You like cars and you studied to be mechanic. 'Am sure these two months gonna' pass so fast that you're not gonna notice it”.

The front door of the club house gets opened. You turn for a while, just to see how the men gets out of it. You sigh, looking at Happy again. And you nod, even when you don't want to do it. Pulling yourself away from him, you're heading towards your motorcycle. In silence, after fastening the helmet, you start the engine. If you have to leave Charming you wanna do it as soon as possible. So, it's time to pack your stuff.

And that is what you're doing, when you hear your father's keys opening the door. His footsteps coming close to you, watching sideways how he leans against the door frame arm-crossed. Your basic clothes are already inside the suitcase on the bed, closing the zip after checking again that you have taken everything you could need. In the bag next to it, you keep your laptop, your headphones and all the chargers, in addition to other things.

“Please, talk to me”. Chibs says, but there's no answer from you. “I didn't know how to tell you, and I'm sorry, honey. But I promise...”

“Don't”. You turn at him raising your forefinger. “Don't make any promise you're not gonna keep, Filip”.

He knows you're truly sad when you call him by his real name. Chibs walks towards you, holding your hands slowly hoping that you're not gonna push him away again.

“Bishop and his guys 'gonna take care of you. And Happy said he told you about ‘Romero and Brothers’. I'm pretty sure you're gonna have fun there”. He's trying to make you understand.

“I don' care. I'm gonna be away from you”. You finally say, letting go all the pain you have inside your chest, oppressing your heart. “And you're not allowed to text me, nor call me. Could you imagine how distressing it feels?”

“'You think it isn't for me? I'm not stone cold, even if sometimes it's what it looks like, (Y/N). I think about you all the time. About what you're doing at any moment. If you're eating well, if you're sleeping... All the fucking time”. He replies trying to hide his anger. “But I need to protect you. And there aren't better hands than Bishop's”.

You nod. You don't want to continue arguing with him. Filip hugs you tightly, hiding your face on his neck, trying to not break in cry again. Your hands clinging on the back of his shirt. You're not sure how many time you have been like this, when your father decides that he should call the Mayans to pick you up.

The roars of motorcycles, coming just in time, have your attention. You take your stuff, rolling the suitcase over the floor till you find them outside. Your father takes it to keep it inside the van, before saying goodbye.

“They're gonna take care of you, ok?” He says again, holding your cheeks between his hands. You nod in silence about to cry. Leaving a kiss in your forehead, he hugs you. “If I can, I will text you. I promise. And I'll keep that one”.

“Two months?” You ask raising your gaze at him.

“I'll be back before your birthday”. Assures you. “I love ya' more than anything. You know, rai'?”

You nod again swallowing, before leaving one last caresses in your left cheek, cleaning the tear that falls down through it.

“You're going with my man, Coco”. Bishop talks, with the helmet covering his head while he wears both leather gloves. 

“And my bike?” You turn to your father with more dramatism than necessary.

“It's in the van too, don' worry”. Chibs answers, hitting twice one of the doors. “Canche could need you”.

“Or us”. The Mayans president add with a soft smile on his lips.

Things starts to change, when you're conscious that you will continue working with the charters even if yours isn't present. So, at least, it's not gonna be that bad as you thought. 

“I'm sorry 'I pointed you with my gun”.

“What I can expect from Chibs' daughter? It would have scared me more if you hadn't, after everything we've heard from you”. Your father chuckles because of the words of the Mayan. “Ready?”

You hug him again, taking some seconds to memorize his smell to not forget it at all.

“I love you”. You whisper, pulling him away softly, before walk to the front passenger seat of the van.

But, before the man could start the car, your father makes a last appearance, pointing with the forefinger to all the men presents there.

“If anyone of you touch my daughter, I'll cut off your cock and make you eat it”. The Mayans know that it's not a joke, so they nod agreeing.

“I've a daughter. Her name is Letti”. The mexican accent, camouflaged in the foreign language, pushes you out of your thoughts. “She's sixteen, but I think you could be fren'”. 

━━━━━━ ﹅ ━━━━━━

The sun is falling when you leave the ‘Welcome to Charming’ sign behind the van. You sigh heavily settling in your seat. The fresh air that enters by the open window makes fly some strands of your hair, supporting both arms against the door, with your chin on it, to watch out of the car the sunset on the horizon. It's gonna be hard, you know it, but at least you will have Canche visiting you every week. Maybe Oscar comes from Stockton too.

“Yea', maybe...” You say, turning for a second.

Coco turns the radio, hoping that music makes you feel better, looking for a channel without interferences. Then, you hear your favourite song, turning to the hand that is moving the calibrator. The man stares at you with curiosity, before turning up the volume. The melody continues, while you go back to your position leaving your cheek this time and closing your eyes to focus in the song.

“Hey, oh, listen what I say, oh! I got your hey, oh! Now listen what I say, oh!”

You're about to give him the silent treatment, but that only has bad points in your favor. You'll have to live and work together for the next months, so sooner or later, you're gonna have to talk him.

The first time you listened that song, you were living with your parents in Glasgow. You can remember your father singing it to you all the time, before go to Charming. So, listen to it again causes you bittersweet feelings.

“I like the Red Hot' too”. Coco says trying to be kind, while his fingers drum the steering wheel to the beat of the music. You have to say that he has a funny voice and hearing him singing sounds like a dying cat. That makes you chuckle. “Hey! What's up, mami? Don' laugh on me!”

“Sweet Jesus Christ, you're gonna make it rain”. Your laughter is loud now, capturing president attention who slows down to reach your window.

“It's everything ok, uh?” He shouts over the sound his motorbikes does.

“I hope he has a good aim, 'cause he couldn't work as singer!” You say in laughs.

“He's a veteran Marine, kid! What do you think?” Bishop accelerates to return to his place, while you turn to the driver, truly surprised. He has a triumphal smile on his face and his gaze in front.

“These motherfuckers discharged me because I used a rifle to shoot a cigar out of an officer's mouth”. He tells you. “I was three hundred meters from him”.

This is amazing and you feel the curiosity growing inside you. Curling your legs on the seat, putting around them your arms, you stare at the Mayan.

“Can you tell me about it?”

“'Bout wha'?” He asks looking at you for a second a little confused.

“About the Marine”.

He frowns, looking at you again.

“You wanna hear 'bout it?”

“I'm not asking you about the Area Fifty One”. You say with a sharp voice shrugging.

“I'm pretty sure that would be a good talk too”.

“C'mon! It's a long travel!” It almost seems like you're starting to beg, but the topic of the Navy and Marine has always interested you.

“It's weird!”

“Why?”

“Cuz' nobody has asked me 'bout it before”. He says with the same confusion you saw on him before.

“So bad is it...?”

“No, it's... cool. Pretty cool”. He replies with a slight smile on his face.

“I wanted to enlist in the British Army, but my mother said it was too dangerous for me. So, I didn't”. Your voice trembles for a second, and he realizes it.

“Sorre' 'bout your mom, Chibs told us”. He says after a moment in silent. “I killed mine”.

Your face shows a similar gesture of horror, he shrugs exaggeratedly.

“That bitch hit my daughter, and hurt her so bad. She also forced her to have a ‘bad life’, 'you know what I mean. She deserved it”. The calm with which he explains overwhelms you.

You're starting to think he hasn't had a good life. But who in their right mind would work for an MC? Not you, neither does he.

“And your mother hate you so bad that she called you ‘Coconut’?” You try to finish the tension installed inside the van with somewhat bad joke.

“The fuck told you that's my name?” He breaks in laughter, shaking his head, accidentally giving a flywheel. 

“Oh, shit”. Both say in unison. The charter looks back.

“My bad!” He shouts sticking his head out the window for a moment.

“Then? What's your name?”

“Johnny Cruz. And everyone calls me Coco”.

“Why?”

“We're not in that level yet, mami”. He imitates the sharp voice you used before.

“Ok, but, are you gonna tell me about the Marine?”

He sighs rolling his eyes, before showing you again his smile. So, there you are, lying on your seat stretching legs crossed on the dashboard of the van. He starts to talk, of course with the funny story of how he enlisted and all the chaos he created, compensating for it with his good aim. His voice is so calm, that if you close your eyes, you could think is one of those podcast people use to sleep; without the part of shooting, murdering, and all the bloody stuff. 

Actually, you did. You closed your eyes, opening it when the night has fallen. You yawn, putting your legs on the floor of the van.

“Sorry, I didn't sleep last night”. You apologize with flushed cheeks, rubbing your eyes.

“It's ok, mami. Te ves bonita mientras duermes”. (You look pretty while you're sleeping). He says.

“What did you say?” You ask, pretending that you don't speak spanish, but the truth is that you studied it for three years while you were living in Scotland.

“That you were drooling everything”. He lies so bad that he's a little nervous. “We're almost reaching to Santo Padre”.

“Great... Home, sweet home, isn'it?”

First Goodbyes

“I still find this a little suspicious.”

“Dad, you find everything suspicious.”

“I’m a government agent, what did you expect?”

“A suspension of disbelief, actually.” Leon had to give a snort at that.

“Sorry, buddy, but I can’t do that.” He gave Harry’s shoulder a pat. Being in the middle of a busy train station in the heart of London both relaxed him and gave tension. It was nice to be around so many normal people, but if an outbreak occurred, Harry would be in the crossfire. Leon wouldn’t forgive the person behind it if something like that happened. It didn’t help that Hagrid, the giant of a man, had fucked off somewhere after guiding them through this whole ‘Wizarding World‘ shit. Leon still had a hard time believing it, even though he had seen Harry do things that, previously, were only signs of a B.O.W. He was glad his son was not actually a Bio-Organic Weapon but the fact that Harry would be an ocean away, learning to be a wizard, did not ease Leon’s nerves. And now they were searching for a platform that didn’t exist. This day was just getting better and better.

“Why do wizards have to be so confusing?” Leon murmured, “I mean, I can understand the logic of keeping non-magic people away, but for those of us who are technically wizards but live in the non-magic world, you could at least give us a better guide.”

“Hagrid’s a good guide. He’s just got stuff to do.” Harry pointed out.

“Mmm.” was all Leon said. They continued to walk, side-by-side, looking for any kind of sign that indicated a place called ‘Platform 9 3/4.‘ The more they searched, getting closer to the deadline, the more worried Harry became.

“What if we don’t make the train in time?” he asked, “How will I get to Hogwarts? Will they even let me in?”

“Hey, hey.” Leon soothed, “I’m sure they’d let you in and make sure you got there. They wouldn’t be a good school if they didn’t.” At least, Leon hoped this was true. He’d been distrustful of these guys from the start, even though Hagrid was friendly enough. After all the hell he’d been through, trust was hard to come by, especially with first impressions. And once Harry was calmed, they continued on their way. It would make sense that, if they couldn’t find it themselves, then maybe they could spot some wizards or someone who could guide them to the right place.

Leon was a bit glad he was wearing a jacket. While it was getting closer to Fall, it was still pretty summer-like. At least, it was in the States. England was colder and the jacket was being put to good use. Was it a crime if he loved those fuzzy jackets? Especially since the last one he’d had had been stolen on that mission to Spain a year ago? Leon deserved this jacket. Harry, though, didn’t mind the cold as much. At least he was enjoying himself.

Finally, after what seemed to be hours of walking (which it, of course, was not), Harry finally spotted someone he thought could help. Leon had noticed them before, but it wasn’t until Harry pointed them out that Leon got a good look. It seemed to be a family composed entirely of redheads. While that wasn’t exactly a highly unusual sight, it was still a bit strange. Leon and Harry hesitantly ventured closer.

“C’mon now! Pick up the pace!” said the eldest, a woman with bushy red hair much older than the rest. Leon assumed her to be their mother, or at least a family member. She continued, “We don’t need to miss the train!” There had to be at least five kids with her, and the majority of them were pushing carts similar to Harry’s. It looked like they might’ve finally found their ticket to the train.

“Excuse me.” Leon jogged to catch up. The group stopped, turning to him, with Harry quickly trailing behind. Leon asked, “Are you all heading to Platform 9 3/4 too?”

“Yes dear.” The woman gave a smile, “I suppose both of you are new to this?” Leon hated the embarrassment that flooded his cheeks at the admission, despite the fact that he had been in much worse situations. He still didn’t like people knowing something he didn’t. He nodded regardless.

“Yeah. I’m Leon and this is my son, Harry.”

“Nice to meet you.” Harry chirped.

“We don’t have much time for introductions, I’m afraid, but follow us and we’ll show you the way.” said the woman. The redheaded group then rushed off and Leon and Harry tried to keep up. As they got closer to the entrance to the platform, Leon tried to memorize where they were, so they would be able to figure this out next time. Eventually they came to one of the pillars settled between platforms.

“Remember, get a running start!” said the woman, “Percy, you go first.” The eldest man of the redheads, who appeared of the prim and proper sort, nodded and positioned his cart in front of the wall. Then, alarming Leon, he charged right at it. Leon’s first instinct was to interfere, but he stopped. In seconds, Percy was gone. It was like the wall had swallowed him up. So maybe these wizards really did know what they were doing. He watched as the identical twins Fred and George went, then it was Ron’s turn. Apparently the young girl wouldn’t be going, but it would be Ron’s first time at Hogwarts as well. Leon hoped Ron would show Harry the ropes, then, and maybe even become his friend. With Leon not at home all the time, Harry really needed some friends.

“Are you ready?” he asked his son, after Ron had run through.

“Yeah.” Harry nodded. He seemed a little nervous, but that was natural. For non-magical people, running straight at a wall was bound to give you a broken nose and/or bruises. Wizards had to have trained the instinct out of their system for this to work, Leon reasoned.

“I can come with you. We can do this together.” Leon said. He gave his son a smile, “On three, we run. Okay?” Harry gave another nod. He appeared more at ease, now knowing his father would do this with him. Leon caught the woman smiling in the corner of his eye. He ignored her for now, instead beginning to count, “One, two, three!” They rushed the wall. Leon’s instincts screamed at him to stop, but this wouldn’t be the first time he’d ignored them. The wall came closer and closer, but then it faded away and a wave of something washed over them. They were finally here.

Leon helped Harry bring the cart to a stop and they looked around. A train stood waiting and whistling for its passengers and people of all kinds were moseying around, similar to Diagon Alley (Leon still snorted at the name. Seriously?). He couldn’t help but feel a bit amazed, however. While he may still not trust this new world, he had to admit there were some advantages. Like hiding an entire station inside of a wall. But then the train screeched and Leon knew it was time to go.

“Here.” He pulled off his jacket, “I doubt Scotland’s gonna be warm so you’ll need some comfort.”

“But isn’t this your favorite jacket?” Harry asked.

“I’d rather you have warmth and a part of me with you instead of going into the cold alone.” Leon gave it to his son. Then they shared a hug, “Promise me you’ll keep in touch. I wanna see letters often, got it? Just, I’m gonna miss you, buddy.”

“I know.” Harry’s hug was strong, “I promise.” The train screeched again. Harry had to clamber aboard as porters grabbed his luggage for him. He soon found a window, where he waved out of it, and Leon waved back. He hoped the jacket would truly keep Harry warm and give him a semblance of home, maybe even keep him out of trouble. Soon, however, the train began charging off and Leon was alone with dozens of people he didn’t know. All except for the redheaded woman and her daughter, that is.

“Molly Weasley.” she greeted, giving his hand a shake, “And this is Ginny. She’ll start school next year.”

“Good for you.” He nodded to the girl, “Leon Kennedy. Sorry to trouble you about the train, but we just couldn’t find it.”

“That’s quite alright, dear. Many newcomers need a hand or three.” said Molly, “And don’t worry about your lad. I went to Hogwarts myself and I can tell you, he’ll have a lot of fun and friends to make.”

“Thanks. It’s just,” Leon gave a sigh, “I’ve not been at home much, but he’s always been there. This is the first time he’s gone off on his own.”

“Yes, leaving the nest is always tough.” she agreed, “If you want, we could keep in touch? I don’t mind giving you a helping hand about magic if you might need it. And I would love to meet up for tea sometime!”

“Maybe.” he said, “I live in the United States, so I don’t know if I’d be able to make any engagements.”

“That’s alright, we can always come to you instead!” Molly was very friendly and motherly. While Leon didn’t give trust easily, he felt that he wouldn’t mind being friends with this woman. Her warmth, while pretty strong, reminded him a little of Sherry or Claire.

“Well, do you have a phone that I could call? Or an address?” He still wasn’t sure how communication worked, if they still had phones or not, but he was willing to adapt. Adaptation had always helped him in the past, especially against shambling hordes of zombies. And when Molly gave him an address for letters, Leon knew his new normal was just getting started. He just hoped Harry was having a good time.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Next Drabble

"Here's a penny for your thoughts and a quarter to keep them to yourself." (AoA)

@djinmer4 @dannybagpipesarecalling @bamfoftheundead

N/A: I´ll use this for my Emissary au and hope this can explain a bit more why this Victorian au is so different from the books. Also, yeah...I can´t help by putting a bit of Pride and Prejudice here because I still love that movie.

Ariel is invited by the Darkhlmes to accompany her as in their meeting with the Queen, and of course, Ariel can be a progressive woman as much she wishes, but, no one can act like a fool in front of the Queen of England and Ariel is certainly happy and nervous with such occasion and opportunity to meet such amazing woman as close as her human eyes can allow.

The carriage left Ariel in the guest entrance as the Darkholmes are getting ready, as they are nobility and from another country, they have to make sure to look more than presentable for the Queen, while, Ariel has the small luxury of being able to wear a good dress and know she will be outshined by the Darkholmes as they are the focus of the Queen´s gaze (she envies them a little, to be honest)

And the maid, a silent woman making a jarring contrast with the butler from Canada ("I think you´re from Toronto" "...Hey, aren´t you Sherlock Holmes? People say, oh Wade is Canadian but few ever put more details in this line, so, kudos to you, Miss Sherlock Holmes" "Not sure if comparing me with a dog is good, but, at least I got the answer right, by the way...you have a typical accent from Toronto" "Elementary, my dear") who guides Kitty to the waiting room as in her minimum words. "The master is being difficult" and leaves making Ariel wonder what kind of household the Darkholme run.

And Ariel not wanting to be idle manages to scape the comfy couch she was put and look around to see what style it is being used here. She notices, once leaving the waiting room, to the small museum of the house.

Not uncommon for nobles to support artists and have arts on their proprieties, the Braddocks for example, are a big fan of painting and support the local artists as well the international.

The Darkholme seems to like sculptures and all of them, even if Ariel is no specialist, can say how well done they all are almost look like real people.

She notices the last one in the collection. A bust of Dr Darkholme. The man is not smiling even here and the artist captured the essence of Kurt Darkholme. A man full of secrets that dares you to try to solve any of them or die trying.

Her finger, to be more exact, her pinky, gentle touches the thin line that forms his lips amused and in reverence. "What do you hide?" she asks to herself and someone replies anyway.

"Right now, my total disdain with humanity" and this jolt Ariel back to reality as the Dr Darkholme is there, as should be expected, with a bemused look on his face. "I don´t like your Queen and I don´t want to go...but I have no choice"

"Our Queen, Dr Darkholme, and well...we don´t have a choice because when she says come to the palace...you go, no matter what"

____________________________________________________________________________

The Queen´s renovations are as glorious as one could imagine from someone that calls herself Gloriana, no, that´s not her real name and no mortal could ever hope to say the real name and remain sane. Queen Gloriana (as she likes to be called) is a daughter of Zaorva that won countless wars in the space and other dimensions and settle in this dimension.

She has no problem in setting humanity´s mistakes right as women rights, workers rights and many other revolutionary ideas that would be taken years to be accepted ...are in working just fine thanks to Queen Gloriana.

Queen Gloriana is also married to Prince Albert, from Germany, and this union united England and Germany (along with the execution of anyone who dared to opposed the Gloriana and Albert´s vision. Anti-semitism and traffic of people are crimes worth making the couple open their mouths and eat people...suffice to say, everyone can pretend to get along to avoid such fate) even through Prince Albert is not human in any sense of the word.

Ariel meets Raven Darkholme, a woman like her son who shares few words, but, so far the azzure woman has not shown any displeasure with Ariel so far. His sister neither and somehow that´s enough.

Gloriana aka Meggan Braddock is with her husband as her eyes weep and her mouth speaks so freely about the beauty of Queen Gloriana, Ariel can hate Betsy for the solidarity of Kwanon (those two women have bad blood involved) but she can´t hate Meggan for speak what Ariel is thinking.

"She got even more beautiful each year" Meggan wipes her tears as her husband seems to share the same opinion as Dr Darkholme on the matters of the Queen. "Aren´t we the lucky ones?"

Ariel suspect Brian and Kurt will never be friends but in this brief moment, they can share the pain in silence. Meggan, notice the two, and waves friendly at them.

(She´s an empathic and Queen Gloriana affect them the most)

Meggan is now carrying Ariel as if she´s a literal cat and the woman is not pleased with the gesture but can speak loving towards Queen Gloriana. "Long live the Queen"

Brian and Kurt are speechless and Dr Darkholme is dreading going to see the Queen. "Is the prince there with her?" Kurt asked closing his eyes and Brian confirms the inevitable. "fantastic, fucking fantastic"

______________________________________________________________________

The Queen is beautiful as Meggan told Ariel and she can´t help by crying a little in the pure image of the Queen who does not seem to mind, no, far from it, she loves the attention and wants to talk with Dr Darkholme and Ariel alone now. The other Darkholme are excused and Dr Darkholme is about to say something dumb when Ariel holds his hand tightly.

Prince Albert is not the same as the Queen, far from it, he´s a real Eldritibch abomination(only uses a human mask when in Germany and is a way to show his preference to the country) and both are using tentacles to communicate with each other. Again, Dr Darkholme wants to say something here but Ariel is almost crashing his hand.

"Dr Darkholme, a count of Bavaria, is indeed a great honour to have you in my domains..." she pauses as Albert picks a somewhat humanoid mask, but, still speaks in a language no human could get it. "and I heard you..." she pauses smiling as if she knows everything and Dr Darkholmes wants to doubt that "searching for a wife and that fills my heart with joy, isn´t right, love?"

Albert speaks and now Dr Darkholme feels as if an invisible force is making him bow and he hates it. Again, he wanted to say something about this couple, but, Ariel is holding his arm so tight as a boa would.

(Ok, she´s tiny but stronger)

"What intimacy display I see here" Queen speaks more amused than anything. "Dr Darkholme shows a great sensation of lust towards this woman, not a noble, but, that hardly matters...uhm," now she frowns "I hope you will take the marriage procedures accordingly"

And it takes a minute to Dr Darkholme to register what she implies. "Of course, if the Queen and ..." Kurt really wants to say something stupid and Ariel is almost slapping his face "Prince Consort Albert gave us the blessing I would be happy to make the request"

The Queen seems happy with this choice of words and Prince Albert has no complaints. "She´s a good soul, one Mother Celestial would be proud ...to collect, but, You two have my blessing but I´m not here to say only that...I was wondering when your cousin, Niles, will be returning to my domains"

Prince Albert speaks in a German language and Queen Gloriana translate to Kitty. "Oh, he wants to know if Niles can play the piano for my dear Albert...it soothes his soul listening to such song"

"My cousin...will be back from Scotland as soon as he can...Queen Mary" another abomination as Queen Gloriana but Kurt knows what Ariel thinks of such words, "asked for his talent first, she wanted a painting of....her kids" at this moment Dr Darkholme pities Niles very much.

"Oh...do speak to him when you see him...I know you´ll, that Prince Albert wishes to listen to his lovely song again"

"Will do that"

______________________________________________________________________

Ariel is now holding his hands as if still fearing he can say something dumb, even if not in front of the Queen (she has eyes and ears in many ways in the palace) and guides him to a safer spot outside the palace and from...anyone listening.

"Don´t!" she warms him as Dr Darkholme does not need words to say anything right now.

"Ok, I won´t...for now" he grits his teeth for a moment. "As you know...I´m looking for a wife"

"Oh, yes, I´m sorry for the confusion...I´m sure that as long you marry someone else within a year the Queen won´t mind this day"

"You don´t want to marry me?"

"Do you? We´re friends very recently and ...I´m not from a noble background nor I have money...I would be Cinderella here and I know you hate any notion of Prince Charming"

"Yes, I do, but, honestly your background means nothing to me. You´re smart, polite, witty, brave, not afraid of me or want my money and you´re pretty and...I wouldn´t mind being married to you"

"The greatest love declaration I ever heard"

"And it is true"

Marriage for love is extremely rare, even Gloriana and Albert´s love story begins because Mother Celestial orders them to be married (No one dares to question Zaorva´s will here) so, why Ariel should expect something different. "Ok, I accept to be engaged to you, Mr Darkholme, you´re a total enigma to everyone included to me"

"So romantic"

"Thanks, Dr Darkholme, I try"

People of the Edwardian phase of the Hundred Years War as dril tweets

Philippe VI de France: Time and time Again. People on here Fuck me over and ruin my life. simply for starting the Dialouge.

Edward III of England: thinking of wrapping my entire body in barbed wire and becoming Sovereign.

Jehan II de France: a teen approached me at the food court and said “I see you wore your clown costume today” and i spent the next 9 hours processing the insult.

Jehanne de Bourgogne: CHILD: Papa.. tell me once more about WIFE’s DUTY. PAPA: it is WIFE’s DUTY to protect her husband from villains, always.

Jitka Lucemburská: Damn. the MomTown forums just started requiring 4 point Mom Verificaiton to be able to post there for some reason..anyone got a work around?

Philippa de Hainaut: my opinion on politics: my opinion on politics is that politidcs is extremely good, but sometimes it is bad.

Ludwig IV, Holy Roman Emperor: bigmouth fake priest telling me to “drink a shitload of holy water and kill yourself” as penance? this has happened at three churches now.

Pope Benedict XII: it is with a heavy heart that i must announce that the celebs are at it again.

Jehan III, duc de Bretagne: i just left an enormous pile of vomit behind golds gym for all of you abominable pig clowns to pick at #blackfridaydeals

Robert III d’Artois: (in really quiet, barely audible voice) hope your dick falls of bitch.

Hugues Quiéret: currently employed as Water Guru at the beach. it’s sort of like being a lifeguard except i have no inclination to touch the drowning people.

Geoffroy d’Harcourt: OH im so Fucking sorry “Your Majesty”, i didnt realize that dick rings were banished in this dystopian piss earth. Ur probably a 9gag poster.

Jacob van Artevelde: (in highly rational and cool voice) i have the higher follower count than them. i wiont let them undermine me.

Pope Clement VI: may the wind carry my tweets and soothte the sick, the wounded, the downtrodden of both man & beast, across the savage shit earth of trolls,

Jehanne de Valois, comtesse de Hainaut: startling how im the only person on this site with an actual human soul. you would think the other guys on here have one, but no.

Eudes IV, duc de Bourgogne: myth: making me mad is cool FACT: making me mad is a crap move& people who do it are all sociopathivc criminals with fucked up rotten brains.

Jehan de Montfort: turning my headlights off when driving at night,.. so that my Rivals cannot see me.

Jehanne de Flandre: i just want to find the optimal bra for sniper operations, but everoyne here is so rude, and pieces of shit.

Johann der Blinde of Bohemia: Q: If your post was proven by a counsil of wise men to be racist, or bullshit, would you bar it from the record? A: I do not delete my posts.

Charles II, comte d’Alençon: ((SPILLING BLOOD ALL OVER KEYBOARD) THIS IS WHAT U WANT. THIS IS WHAT U FUCKING BASTARDS WANT RIGHT (1 WEEK LATER) WHY ARE THE KEYS STICKING

Jehanne de Clisson: as far as im concerned the best revenge is ordering wolf piss online & pouring it into soneones car. “living well” is too hard.

Arnaud de Cervole: i will raze every forest and devour each city in blood tribute for the crime of 9/11!! please nbring back blue collar TV

Frank Hennequin: the jduge orders me to take off my anonymous v mask & im wearing the joker makeup underneath it. everyone in the courtroom groans at my shit.

William Montagu, 1st Earl of Salisbury: im at the point in my life where i cant relate to any popular fictional characters unless they use massive amounts of hair gel and steriods.

Antonio Doria: my name is Destyn. i build crossbows and sell weed to all your dads and im 15.

Gautier VI de Brienne: MYTH: my posts are for the Pauper REALITY: my posts are for the Prince.

Étienne Marcel: looked at a newspaper today. looks like we’re getting taxed out the wazoo, with this president. anyone else see this shit? tax out the wazoo.

Guillaume Cale: “FEAR IS USED 2 ENSLAVE THE MASSES,” I SAID AS I RIPPED THE FUCKIN DECORATIVE CARDBOARD SKELETON OFF OF THE COMMUNITY CENTERS BULLETIN BOARD

Edward Montagu, 1st Baron Montagu: girls always love to telling people not to“ Mansplain” but they do not care of, “Man's Pain”

Louis Iᵉʳ, comte de Flandre: 1) i do not owe you mother fuckers a damn thing 2) i will not hear any more questions or comments unless they pertain to MetroPCS, or Pepsi.

Philippe III de Navarre: the crusaders fire ballistas into my throbbing diaper- unlesashing a torrent of mustard yellow shit and poisoning the entire village.

Gaston II, comte de Foix: i am going to plunge a sword into our bed and officially end outr 40 yr marriage if you do not stop yelling while i am recording my stream’s.

Henry de Grosmont, 1st Duke of Lancaster: please help my cousin “Bruno_THought_Leader” who just had his account suspended for threatening to “Fuck” brexit.

Robert Le Coq, Bishop of Laon: i have absolutely zero interest in friendship, i have absolutely zero interest in jokes, i am simply here to collect data and earn respect.

Jehan Iᵉʳ, comte d’Armagnac: the joke is on you fuck face. i actually love getting screamed at and publicly shamed for my dumb-assed bull shit . I love apologizing.

Bardi and Peruzzi families: boy oh boy do i love purchasing large amounnts of Fool’s Gold. wait a minute... fools gold fucking sucks. this stuff is no good..!! Fuck !!!

Jehanne II de Navarre: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and NIce manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT.

William de Bohun, 1st Earl of Northampton: if you have less than 1000 followers i can guarantee you that me and the boys share your posts in vip chat rooms and call you a "Muthafucka”.

William de la Pole: thinking about getting the dow jones back on track, simply by making a few phonecalls. but certain people have been a bitch to me, so i wont.

Thomas de Beauchamp, 11th Earl of Warwick: shutting computer down until the shitty moods & attitudes can fuck off., if you need me ill be on my other computer, sititng 60° to my right.

Thomas Holland, 1st Earl of Kent: ive heard from a reliable source that people arre putting their lips on to my girl friends avatars and going “muah muah muah.” cut it out.

Raoul II de Brienne, comte d’Eu: hate it when my boss knocks out the front leg of my desk with a baseball bat and funko pop lego shit flies every where.

Karel IV, Holy Roman Emperor: “RESULT You are the Serpant. YOu dislike loud places and people are constantly putting drama in your life. But you’re strong.” This is true.

Charles de Blois-Châtillon: torturing my damn dick with corn cob holders in Penance for the foul tone i took with the subway corporation today.

Jehanne de Penthièvre: i help every body, im not racist, i keep myself nice, and when i ask for a single re-tweet in return i am told to fuck off, fuck myself, etc.

Jacques Iᵉʳ de Bourbon, comte de La Marche: “ah boo hoo hoo i want to post Foul comments to content leaders” Fat Chance, Dimwit. I will annihilate you under bulwark of the Law and God.

John Chandos: DOCTOR: you cant keep doing this to yourself. being The Last True Good Boy online will destroy you. you must stop posting with honor ME: No,

Jehan d’Artos, comte d’Eu: , who had gone missing for 17 years and was presumed dead after failing to return from his ultimate dumpster diving life quest

William Douglas, 1st Earl of Douglas: i get emails. i get emails saying the trolls have won, and that i should bow to them, since i have lost the battle. to this i say FAT-CHANCE.

David II of Scotland: “jail isnt real,” i assure myself as i close my eyes and ram the hallmark gift shop with my shitty bronco.

Charles de La Cerda: i think that turning myself Gay in the summer of 2013 would really impress my overseas investors.

William de Montagu, 2nd Earl of Salisbury: my watch beeps whwich means its time to stand in front of my ex-wife’s house and play “Hit THe Road Jack” while dacning and licking her mail.

Edward the Black Prince: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL

Jehan III de Grailly: its fucked up how there are like 1000 christmas songs but only 1 song aboutr the boys being back in town.

Louis II, comte de Flandre: U Have Forced Me To Take Extreme Measures To Protect My Business And My Lifestyle.

Blanche de Navarre: the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke “theres actually zero difference between good & bad things. you imbecile. you fucking moron”

Charles II de Navarre: Sovereign Citizens Getting Owned Compilation

Philippe de Navarre: shooting off automatic rifles making horrible diarrhea shit noises as the recoil makes my tiny dick flop around. hell yeah. thats cool to me.

Charles, Dauphin de Viennois: surprise, dad. while you were witnessing the pennsylvania state lottery i tried on all your work gloves and they looked very handsome on me.

full draft of chapter 3! (albeit in need of major line edits)

In a room at the nearest Motel Six, freshly-painted warding sigils drying on the walls, Margarita sits on one of the two beds and bows her head in prayer. “Holy Ishim the Angel, Holy Kadmiel the Angel, Holy Jehoel the Angel, hear this prayer. Benjamin and Castiel need to speak with you about a danger to the flight. Starting frequency is 428.934KHz; hopping algorithm is Roadhouse three-point-one; seed is five-nine-gimel-zayin. Amen.”

Even for practiced angels, frequency hopping requires concentration: In the back of her mind, Benjamin goes quiet with focus, and Castiel, seated at the room’s table with Sam and Dean, stares unblinking into the middle distance. (The table’s fourth chair sits empty.)

“Did she say Roadhouse?” Dean asks Castiel, his voice suddenly hoarse.

Castiel doesn’t acknowledge the question.

“He can’t really hear you right now,” says Margarita. “Neither can Benjamin. We humans are alone for a little while.” She remembers the twenty-first book of the Winchester Gospels, and she offers a gentle, sympathetic smile. “Yes, I did say Roadhouse. Angel radio, as you call it, wasn’t built for privacy. Your friend Ash Miles invented the first frequency hopping algorithms-- a way for Raphael’s enemies to speak without him listening.” Of course, Raphael’s army adopted use of their own algorithms not long after his opponents-- but it was a war of unequal strength, and secrecy advantaged the weak more than the strong.

Sam blinks in surprise. “I never knew he was involved in that.”

“Oh, he was more than involved. He was a key part of the war effort. Without his help, we’d have lost in the first month.”

“So you were one of Cas’s soldiers?”

Margarita’s expression shutters. “Vessels aren’t soldiers. We’re wielded by them.”

“Now that’s some bullcrap,” says Dean. “It’s your body on the line, ain’t it? If you��re in the war, you’re in the war.”

Margarita’s breath catches. She reminds herself that this is Dean Winchester she’s speaking to; she can’t be surprised he blindly stumbled into a minefield and detonated half the charges. “Dean, I know you mean well, but you really don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“I was the freaking Michael Sword; I think I--”

“You don’t understand what you’re saying,” Margarita repeats, in a tone that brooks no argument. Castiel was Benjamin’s general, not hers. Benjamin’s friend, not hers. Benjamin’s betrayer, not hers. Soldiers bled and died under Castiel’s banner of free will, and in victory, he spat on all of them: I thought the answer was free will, but I understand now. You need a firm hand.

After Castiel proclaimed a new day on Earth and in Heaven, Benjamin returned to Margarita in a panic, his thoughts nothing but bone-deep terror and a clamor of need to hide need to hide. For three days, he was unable to speak. All he could do was show fragments of memories: the killing fields, the blackened grass, the speech. Benjamin remembers the speech as it happened, but Margarita remembers it like a broken phonograph, jumbled and skipping and repeating. Every word is seared into her.

She wasn’t Castiel’s soldier. She can’t have been.

And the part she hates most of all: She’s right. Vessels bled alongside soldiers, died alongside soldiers, but soldiers were soldiers, and vessels were vessels. She went into every battle knowing a simple fact: If she died at the hands of the enemy, only one name would be spoken of, and the name would not be hers.

After a minute of no one speaking, Dean tries to crack the tension. “You do a great scary nun voice,” he says. “You ever teach at a Catholic school?”

Sam smacks his brother’s arm.

Another minute, and Benjamin and Castiel break from the trance. /Ishim is alive,/ Benjamin tells her, while Castiel relays the same information out loud to the Winchesters. /He’ll meet us here in four hours. Jehoel was killed this April, Kadmiel last September./

Two years ago, unable to stomach any more news of his siblings using their vessels to murder each other, Benjamin started blocking every frequency except Heaven’s emergency frequency and the flight’s distress signal frequency. It doesn’t surprise Margarita that this is the first they’ve heard about the deaths, but-- /April was six months ago. Why didn’t Castiel already know?/

/He asked Ishim that same question. Ishim said he thought Castiel wouldn’t care./

/Wouldn’t care? That’s what Ishim came up with?/

/I know. Ishim managed to find the one thing in the universe Castiel is innocent of./

/It’s a miracle. You could write crimes on a dartboard and throw with your eyes closed, and nine times out of ten, you’d hit a true accusation. But Ishim went with wouldn’t care./

Margarita tunes back into the Winchesters’ conversation. “--Jehoel,” Sam is saying. “Do we give their vessels a call?”

“Benjamin and I don’t know their names,” says Margarita. “All we know is that they both took new vessels after the Fall. Castiel?”

“I don’t either.”

“Did Ishim say where they were killed?” asks Sam. “The police reports might have the vessels’ names.”

“Kadmiel was in Porto Alegre,” answers Castiel. “Jehoel was in London.”

Sam pulls a laptop from his bag. “We’ll start with Jehoel.” He sets the laptop on the table -- at an angle where Margarita can see the screen, if she leans to the left -- and gets to work. In just a handful of minutes, he has full access to Scotland Yard’s databases. Margarita wonders if this is a new skill, or if the prophet Chuck Shurley neglected to mention it. Sam types, pauses, types again, and announces, “I got three homicide cases from April where the police report mentions wings.”

“How do we know which one is Jehoel?” asks Dean.

“You won’t,” says Castiel, “but I can identify her from her wings.”

“Like fingerprints?” asks Sam.

“Like a nametag.” 

Sam pulls up a picture from the crime scene. “Is this her?”

Margarita leans to the left. She doesn’t recognize the vessel -- a stocky white man, middle-aged, light-haired -- but Benjamin can read the wings. /Gamliel,/ he says. 

“No,” says Castiel. “That’s-- This doesn't make sense. Those are Gamliel’s wings, but he died in Sirjan eight years ago, trying to save the forty-sixth seal.”

“He survived,” says Margarita. “We saw him three years ago.”

Gamliel was a widely-respected commander known for his exceptional dedication to his troops. For a moment, Castiel looks like he might argue against the idea that Gamliel could be a deserter, but then he turns to Sam and says, in a rougher voice than before, “The next one.”

“Wait,” says Margarita. “What was his name? The vessel.”

“Do you think he’s part of this?” asks Sam.

“No, but his name should be spoken. He’s owed that.”

“This says it was, uh, Blake Harris.”

“Thank you.”

In the year after the Fall, Margarita and Benjamin spent hours every day searching the Internet for new vessel killings. Benjamin said that he needed to see them, needed to know that at least one angel would remember the human toll. He says the same thing now that he used to say after each news article: /I will remember him./

Sam loads a picture of the next case’s crime scene. “Jehoel,” Castiel says, at the same time Benjamin says, /That’s her./

“Says her name was Abigail Dupont,” Sam reads.

“Here’s hoping she has some answers,” says Dean.

Again, they prepare the spell; again, Castiel gives his blood before Benjamin can offer; again, Castiel speaks the incantation. “Hello, Abigail,” he says to the bubbling bowl. 

“Hey, Mysterious Voice From The Ceiling. I don’t think you’ve been in this dream before. This was a fucking awesome concert, and they’re gonna do Misery Business soon, so if this is about to turn into a nightmare, can you just wait a little? Like ten minutes? I really love that song.”

“You aren’t dreaming.”

“No offense, but I’m pretty sure I am.”

“Do you remember what happened on the night of April third?”

“What are you, a cop?”

“I’m an angel.”

“Oh. Shit. Sorry, dude, but I already said the big Y-E-S to somebody else, and I don’t wanna kick off some game of angelic musical chairs by switching. You’re gonna have to keep looking. Uh, I guess you can stick around for the rest of the concert, though, if you want? I bet listening to hymns all the time gets pretty boring.”

“I’m not interested in taking you as a vessel. Even if I were, you wouldn’t be able to serve as one in your current state.”

“Jesus Christ. Whoever taught you guys reverse psychology needs to be shot. My current state? Is that supposed to make me want to prove you wrong? Oh no, Mr. Random Holy Jackass says I’m not good enough, how will I--”

“Your current state is dead, Abigail.”

A long silence, and then, “Fuck.”

“My condolences.”

“Yeah, well, eternal Paramore concert. Can’t complain too much, I guess. What’s your name, Mystery Angel?”

“Castiel.”

“Double fuck. Is this an end-of-the-world thing?”

“No.”

“It’s just, from what I’ve heard, when you’re involved, it’s usually an end-of-the-world thing. Or it turns into an end-of-the-world thing.”

“It isn’t an ‘end-of-the-world thing’. I’m trying to find the angel who killed you and Jehoel.”

“You mean psycho eyepatch lady? Jehoel said she wasn’t an angel.”

“She wasn’t? What was she?”

“A human. That’s what Jehoel said, anyway.”

Castiel draws a sharp breath. “How did a human kill Jehoel?”

“Oh, it was super freaky. It was like eyepatch lady was carrying angel kryptonite. Jehoel tried to throw eyepatch lady back with her mind -- it’s super cool that angels can do that, by the way? -- but anyway, this time, it did jack shit. Eyepatch lady didn’t budge. She was all, ‘Your little angel tricks won’t work on me, Jehoel.’ And then we got stabbed. Y’know, I always thought if I got stabbed, it’d be from mouthing off to the wrong person? That’s what my brother used to say. But it was just ‘cause somebody wanted to murder the angel living in my head.

“Hurt like a bitch when it happened. It was funny, some dude tried to stop her, and eyepatch lady was all, ‘I don’t want to hurt humans.’ Guess I didn’t count, huh?”

“You did count,” says Benjamin, firmly. “You were still human. What was done to you was wrong.”

“Oh, hey, Mystery Angel Number Two. I like the way you think. What’s your name? Any other angels on the line, or is it just you two?”

“My name is Benjamin. Castiel and I are the only angels here.”

“Cool. Anything else you wanna know?”

“Can you describe her?” asks Castiel.

“White, thin, long red hair. Uh... Five foot six. Early forties, maybe? The eyepatch was black. Over her right eye. Right when you’re looking at her, not her right.”

“When she attacked you, did she use any incantations?”

“Nope. Not one. I asked Jehoel if she was a witch, and Jehoel said she wasn’t.”

“Did she have any inhuman abilities other than immunity to Enochian magic?”

“If she did, she didn’t use ‘em on us. Oh, wait! Shit. I remember now. She has a husband. I guess he’s a demon or something? Jehoel called eyepatch lady ‘Akobel’s human wife.’”

Castiel and Benjamin both straighten in alarm. “You’re certain Jehoel said Akobel?” asks Castiel.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m sure.”

“And the woman,” says Benjamin. “You’re certain she had red hair?”

“I mean, not red red. Not like a firetruck. Natural red, like, uh, what’s her-- Amy Adams. Is that helpful?”

Akobel’s red-haired human wife. Margarita saw Lily Sunder only once: standing with Akobel on the porch of their home in Orono, Maine, looking down with fear at the flight of angels on her doorstep. Go back inside, Akobel had told her, as though human-built walls could delay Heaven’s justice. /Ishim’s report of her death seems to have been greatly exaggerated,/ says Benjamin, with little humor. Out loud, he says, “Very much so.”

“Thank you for your help, Abigail,” says Castiel.

“No problem. Hey, when you find the psycho, kick her ass for me, okay?”

The blood stops bubbling.

“Who’s Akobel?” asks Sam. “The way you two reacted, it seemed like you know him.”

Castiel doesn’t answer. Inside Margarita’s head, Benjamin is similarly silent.

“Uh, guys?”

“They’re talking to Ishim,” says Margarita. “They want to know how Lily Sunder is alive when Ishim killed her over a century ago.”

“That’s the woman’s name? Lily Sunder?”

Margarita nods, mentally thumbing through the metaphorical pages of the mission briefing. To most angels, especially before the Fall, vessels were simply weapons to be wielded. Sharing mission details with one was like talking to your blade: not forbidden, exactly, but odd and likely indicative of a deeper problem. Benjamin was different. Before each mission, he always shared the briefing in full, and he always offered a choice.

“Lily Sunder was a professor of apocalyptic literature who learned how to summon angels,” says Margarita. “She summoned Akobel, married him, and knowingly birthed a nephilim. Akobel successfully concealed his crime for five years. After Heaven became aware, the flight was sent to kill the nephilim and render justice unto its parents. Mirabel executed Akobel, with--” she falters, remembering her hand’s inhumanly strong grip on Ephram Sunder’s arm, only letting go when his body went limp “-- with Benjamin and Castiel’s assistance. Ishim executed, or claimed to execute, Lily and the nephilim.”

“He took mercy on Lily,” says Castiel, rejoining the conversation. “Only Lily.”

/Mercy on a human?/ asks Margarita. /That doesn’t sound like the Ishim we knew./

/He believed Akobel corrupted her into mothering the nephilim. After recent events, he now believes the opposite./

“Cas,” says Sam, “you guys, uh...”

Dean’s eyes are hard. “You killed a five-year-old, and now the mom’s gunning for revenge. Can’t say I blame her.”

“We completed a mission,” says Castiel.

“Some mission.”

“When nephilim come into their power, entire worlds die. It was horrific, but it was necessary. It was right.”

“Well, if you say so.”

“Wait,” says Sam. “Sister Margarita, you said a century ago? Even if Ishim let her live back then, how is she alive now?”

“Rowena’s older than that,” says Dean.

“Rowena’s a witch. Lily’s human.”

“Ishim believes she made a pact with a demon,” says Castiel. “A deal to grant her youth and immunity from our powers.”

/Castiel would know about working with demons, wouldn’t he,/ says Benjamin, unable not to.

“What, like a crossroads deal?” asks Dean. “That’s a hell of a long time for a demon to wait to collect.”

“Yeah,” says Sam. “And Lily’s waited a long time, too. This all happened a century ago, right? But the first death was in 2015. Why not sooner?”

The answer is obvious. Benjamin tries not to make it sound like an accusation: he keeps his tone neutral and his eyes on Sam as he says, “Our wings.” Before Castiel can respond, he continues briskly, “Akobel’s vessel, Ephram Sunder, might know something about this demon pact. We should speak to him.”

Dean looks skeptical. “You think he’ll want to help us stop his wife from getting revenge for their kid?”

“The spawn was Akobel’s, not Ephram’s. To knowingly sire a nephilim is one of the few crimes against Heaven that outweighs serving as a vessel. Ephram’s soul ascended after Akobel’s execution. Had he consented to the union, his soul would have gone elsewhere.”

Dean and Sam blanch at the implications. “Shit,” says Dean. “So for six years, this guy was...”

“And Lily was aware of her husband’s true nature throughout their marriage. Do you still doubt Ephram will want to help us?”

Sam shakes his head.

For the third time, they prepare the spell: glyphs, blood, holy oil, sage, myrrh. Benjamin speaks the incantation.

Nothing happens.

They wait.

Nothing continues to happen.

“Maybe you got the wrong name?” asks Sam.

Castiel shakes his head. “That was the name we received in our briefing.”

“Well, maybe they got the wrong name.”

“I doubt it,” says Benjamin. “The ancien régime made many mistakes, but not this type of mistake.”

Knowing what he needs to do next, Margarita says, /It’s okay. I’ll be fine./

/I hate it, but it’s our best option here. If we were closer to the portal--/

/You would take me with you. I know. But you’re right; with the cards we have, this is the best play we can make. You’ll be safe from Lily there, and I’ll be safer here./

“You think someone’s trying to keep Ephram from talking?” asks Sam.

“I think something is very wrong here,” says Benjamin. “Ishim and I will investigate in Heaven. We’ll leave the Earthly investigation to you.”

“Hold on,” says Dean. “You’re just gonna run off to Heaven and leave Cas here?”

“My presence on this plane makes Margarita a target, and until we know how to counteract Lily’s powers, I’m unable to defend her. I will not allow her to come to harm because of me.”

“I understand,” says Castiel, with a glance at Dean.

“Maybe she doesn’t want you to leave,” says Dean, not really speaking to Benjamin. “Maybe she wants you to stick around even though it’s dangerous. Did you think about that?”

/Oh, for God’s sake,/ says Margarita.

/Oh, for Father’s sake,/ says Benjamin. “Margarita agrees with me that this is our best course of action. We discussed it using these fascinating little things called ‘words.’ They’re a new invention; you might not have heard of them.”

Dean opens his mouth, then closes it with an audible click. Castiel shifts uncomfortably in his chair. Sam’s expression is a long-suffering plea: See what I have to deal with?

Warmth floods Margarita’s veins as Benjamin fills them with enough extra grace to heal nearly any injury. /One Phoenix Down./

/I’ll try not to get impaled by any one-winged angels while you’re gone./

The joke falls flatter than the Tower of Babel. /Please. Please, stay safe. If anything happened to you because of this, I... I couldn’t.../

/I’ll be safe. Go. Te esperaré./

/Volveré a ti./ Benjamin tilts back her head, pours out of her open mouth in a radiant cloud of shimmering blue-white, and disappears into a vent.

If it's not too private, what were your past lives like? Love your work niu :)

WHICH ONE OF THEM ALL WHICH I CAN REMEMBER LOL? :’DDD

I list here shortly the ones I can currently remember. Some I remember very well and detailed, some are just small glimpses.- Viking warrior, a very tall blond man. I died in a battle, bleeding to death. It was winter and crows were circling on the sky while I laid on my back and waited for death.- Young Japanese man, very arrogant asshole. I had a few years younger girlfriend/wife who I treated like filth. She got fed up with me and left, so I had a revenge on her by killing myself in my rage when I was 23. I was an idiot. My suicide affected her life in a negative way and I was ashamed of it after my death.- Wandering Japanese swordman. I had a student, a younger man, following me. I was in late 20 or early 30′s. I died in a battle when some arrogant swordman wanted to duel with me and I accepted it, thinking I could beat him. My student was devastated and enraged by my sudden death.- Japanese woman, who was taken to brothel ran by a criminal gang at the age of 16. My family was poor and my old father was in dept for the criminals and couldn’t pay back. As he was too old and weak to work for the criminals to pay the dept, they took me. I stayed in the brothel till my early 30′s, had a son which was given to monastery in the same time right after birth, and finally got free. The life started bad but ended up well. I climbed up to the highest level in the brothel’s hierarchy and the criminals and the other girls became my family.-  A mother of 5 children and wonderful husband, somewhere in Europe in 1000-1100. My husband got into a quarrel with a drunken man and was stabbed to death. He bleed to death in my arms and I never recovered from the loss. I married his friend, because he wanted to help me out for my husband’s sake, but I never smiled again after my husband died.- A high class woman, most likely from Poland, in 1600-something. I was married to a German count. It was a shock to move to this isolated small mansion to a country with foreign language I didn’t understand. I was lonely though my husband was kind. I was attacked and raped in this life by two men and I got pregnant. I worried husband is going to throw me away but he supported me and we grew my son as our own. We had our own kids, too. I still have love-hate relationship to German language!- A small girl, drown into a small bond at age of 4. My sister was my mother back then.- A young girl, raised by a single father in a military school fortress, most likely in Scotland in 1300-something. I had 4 older brothers and my father was a knight, who ran a military school for young men. I was a tomboy and wanted to do same things as my brothers. My nanny didn’t like it when I wasn’t girly. I often ran away from her and went to play out among the soldiers and dad’s right hand men. I ended up into a horrible marriage when my father remarried (bc others pushed him into) a woman who was my age. My brothers resisted both dad’s new marriage and my marriage. After 2 years I returned back home from the miserable, violent marriage. I had, however, lost my servant girl, who had been with me since I was 12 or similar. She was my best friend. She couldn’t follow me to my new home, because my husband forbid it, so she was had to go to another family for work.- A young, very handsome and muscular man somewhere in Middle-East A VERY LONG TIME AGO. I was suspected for a crime I did not do. When I refused to confess this assumed crime, I was tortured by pulling me teeth out. A few days later the real culprit was caught and I was let out, but I had only 3 teeth left. I was so ashamed of my looks and talking that I got depressed. There was a woman who truly loved me and didn’t care of my loss of teeth, but I didn’t believe her, so we drifted apart because of my depression.- A very sadistic man somewhere in Russia. My joy was to capture enemy men and torture them violently. I’m pretty sure it had also some sexual sadism there, though I never touched the men sexually. As long as they kept screaming in agony, they were fun toys. When they lost too much blood and couldn’t scream anymore, I tossed them somewhere; along a road, into forest, into ditch ect. and left them there to die. - A nurse around Middle-Ages. I took care of war patients, who had lost limps. Many of them where dying. I made sure that if someone was dying and aware of it, I stayed next to his bed, holding his hand and soothing him so that he didn’t need to die alone.- A rich business’ man’s daughter in Middle-East, long time ago. I was married to a lot older man, who was my father’s close business partner. I was witty and full of fire, and my husband couldn’t stand me. I had this room full of pillow, pretty fabrics and books, where I spend my time and to where my husband send me as a punishment if I was too difficult. I had a bodyguard who was supposed to look after me and keep me in check, but he was my friend. Only friend. My husband was actually gay and had a partner. They were together for many decades and he came to mourn into our house when my husband was dying of old age. We stayed married all those years, but had nothing to do with each other.- An old granny, living somewhere in the woods with a cat. I enjoyed my isolated life. It was very peaceful life. My mother had knowledge of spells and she could read, she she had taught me those skills,too.- A young woman, who knew lots of about herbs and such. I was hung on a tree by villagers as a witch and I was super angry about it.- A 17 year old girl who gave a birth to a dead baby, somewhere in the Middle-Age or something. It was my first pregnancy and both me and my young husband were happy about it. I had a funny feeling that something’s not right a few days before the birth, and when the time for birth arrived I started to panic and repeat that we need to get the baby out quick, right now, we have to get the baby out! Older midwifes didn’t believe me and they actually got angry when I didn’t shut up but kept freaking out that there’s something wrong with the baby. The baby was born dead (baby had been alive but strangled to an umbilical cord) and I got really depressed. I was afraid of second pregnancy, but that went fine.- A man in Laos, when Vietnam’s War started. I refused to fight Americans with other men, so we were hiding in the jungle. Our enemies were Americans and also our owns, as we were seen as traitors who should be killed. Americans ambushed one of our hiding places and I got shot to death. I had a white, round scar like birth mark, like from bullet, on my stomach, all the way to early 20′s. I still dislike natural places with lots of grass and bushes and bad visibility, because in this man’s life those places hid traps.

- A melancholic woman in 1800-something. I was engaged to a clock smith and I always dressed black and never smiled. My mother (who is my mom in this current life again) and my father arranged to me and my fiance a wedding day, but I ran away in a wedding dress before I got to the altar. While I loved my fiance, I didn’t want to marry him. The idea freaked me out and I couldn’t tell why. I cried my eyes out when mom and dad found me and apologized that everything had been arranged for me and all in vain; all the food, all the work, all the money they had used on me... My mom soothed me saying that “You know, it’s your uncle’s birthday so let’s celebrate it!” So we did. I sat depressed and sorry in the room where the food serving was hold while other were merry. My fiance tried to soothe me by sitting next to me and asking if I wanted to have cake. 

- I suspect I have been a man during Ice Age and gotten killed by a mammoth during a hunt, because mammoths freak me out big time. They make me feel super uneasy.

I might have forgotten some and there are lives I’m not aware of yet.As I’m past-live oracle, too, my past live readings are open for ordering (100 euro, detailed information of 3-4 lives. These above are just tiny glimpses, nothing like the orders are!) Drop me a note if you want the order! :3

His Maid, Capricious: 1

Summary: The mysterious prostitute murders are getting out of hand. Unfortunately, in order to solve them, my master might have to do something of which he is not quite at ease.Now, now, my lord, don't be shy. You look quite fetching in a dress. Remember, it's for a good cause after all. Besides, it's pretty comfortable.

Next time on Black Maid: "His Maid, Capricious."

You see, I am simply one hell of a maid.

Pairings: Eventual Sebastian x Demon!reader

@wintersdoll

Warnings: Talk of death, insane weirdo, creepy laughter

Word Count: 3051

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You sat across from Ciel in the carriage while Sebastian drove down the streets of London. You stared at him as he looked at a letter the queen had sent him.

He glanced up at you and noticed you were staring. "What?

There was a pause before you spoke.

"I must say, my lord, I still have much time before I will be accustomed to serving my new master." You stated with a small smile.

He looked down in thought. "I don't see why you should. As you have said, you have been present since my birth." He responded, without looking at you. Your smile dropped. "You have always been my servant, nothing has changed." He said as he looked out the window.

"Yes, master." You said just as the carriage stopped in front of Ciel's Villa.

Sebastian opened the door and helped Ciel out first, then you. "I hate this. There are too many people in London." Ciel said as he walked up the steps with you and Sebastian following him.

"There is no helping it, my lord." Sebastian replied as he opened the door for Ciel and you, closing it behind him. "It's tradition for the nobility to migrate en masse to town from the country every Season." 

"The Season, eh? A waste of time, if you ask me." Ciel said while rounding the stairs.

"Getting away from the manor could prove a nice change of pace. It's a break from those four, at least." You said as you thought of the servants who cause more chaos than they do work.

"We can enjoy a little peace and quiet for a time." You said with a smile.

"Some peace and quiet does sound nice." Ciel replied as you all reached the top of the stairs.

Sebastian opened the door, only to find the entire room ransacked by Madam Red, Lau, and Grell.

"Goodness's sake! Where do they keep the tea in this house?" Madam Red questioned while looking through a bookcase, throwing out another book onto the growing pile.

"I can't find it either..." Lau replied while looking inside a vase.

Ciel gave an annoyed look while you and Sebastian smiled. So much for peace and quiet.

"Don't be silly! Of course it's not in there. Oh!" Madam red exclaimed in frustration.

"Madam Red?! Lau?! Why are you here?!" Ciel shouted.

Madam Red looked away from the case and at the three of you. "Ciel, you're early, dear." Madam Red greeted as Lau stood up and Grell looked back at you.

"Your sudden appearance here in town must mean..." Lau began.

"The Queen's guard dog has a new scent to follow." Madam Red finished. Ciel looked at them in boredom.

. . .

You and Sebastian stood behind Ciel's chair after you had served the tea and platter of pastries.

"He struck again, another prostitute was found gruesomely murdered in Whitechapel. These killings are far from normal. The level of violence we're seeing is unprecedented." Ciel stated.

"The most recent victim was a woman named Mary Ann Nichols. It appears a special type of blade was used on her. She was torn up beyond recognition." Sebastian spoke as Ciel took a bite of the pear and blackberry cornmeal cake.

"The murderer's distinctive style of killing has earned him a unique nickname from the press: 'Jack the Ripper'." You stated.

"A frightening name, eh?" Lau said.

"That's why I'm here earlier than expected. I hurried into town to look into the situation for myself." Ciel said.

Lau placed his tea cup on the table and smiled. "But are you sure you'll be brave enough to stomach the crime scene?"

"What do you mean by that?" Ciel asked.

"The sight of the dismembered body will certainly be horrific." Lau said as he stood up. "And one can only imagine the stench. Blood and gore everywhere. Surely it would be more than enough to drive some men mad." He stated as he walked over to Ciel.

"Are you prepared to see such a thing? You're just a young boy after all." He said as he touched Ciel's cheek.

"I am the head of the Phantomhives in service to my Queen. Don't ask foolish questions." Ciel coldly stated while you and Sebastian both watched Lau.

"You're right. So sorry." He replied with a smile.

. . .

After you had all arrived at the crime scene, Grell, Lau, and Madam Red had stayed within the crowd of people that had formed around it while you and Sebastian followed behind Ciel up to one of the officers that was reading the victim's files.

"Sorry, my boy. I'm afraid a crime scene like this is no place for a child. Now why don't you just run along home?" He said with a smile, before going back to reading the papers.

"I'm here to see the victim's body." Ciel replied.

"The body?!" He questioned in surprise."Surely you're kidding me!"

"Abberline!" A voice called from behind him.

"Well, if it isn't Lord Phantomhive? What are you doing here?" Sir Arthur asked as he walked up to Ciel.

"You know this kid, sir?" Abberline asked.

"I'm here to help, Sir Arthur. Seems your investigation is dragging a bit." Ciel said with a shrug, before pulling out the Queen's letter and holding it up. "You know who sent me, of course."

Arthur gave an annoyed look as Ciel grabbed the papers from Abberline and looked them over. "It seems you haven't found any major clues yet." Ciel stated, before Arthur grabbed the papers from Ciel.

"We at Scotland Yard are more than capable of handling this case, I assure you. There's no need for you to interfere." He said, clearly irritated by Ciel.

Ciel smiled at him. "Splendid. Shall we go, Sebastian, (Y/N)?" Ciel said while walking away.

"Yes, sir." You both replied as you walked behind him.

Madam Red hummed as you, Sebastian, and Ciel walked by them. "Now what, dear?" She asked as her, Grell, and Lau followed behind.

"Now we go see someone who may prove useful." Ciel replied.

You instantly smiled, since you knew who he was talking about.

"My lord! You mean..." Lau exclaimed.

"Yes, indeed." Ciel replied.

. . .

"So, where are we?" Lau asked as you all stood outside of a funeral parlor.

"You don't know?! Then what was all that about?!" Madam red questioned.

"It's a funeral parlor run by an acquaintance of my lord's. On many occasions before, I had traveled with my previous master to obtain information from him." You stated with a smile.

"Why do you look so happy?" Ciel questioned.

"No matter the current situation, he always finds a way to make me smile." You answered.

Ciel gave you a weird look while Madam Red, Lau, and Grell gazed up at the sign that read 'Undertaker'. "'The Undertaker'?" Madam Red read.

Sebastian opened the door, allowing Ciel, you, Madam Red, Lau, and Grell to enter. "If we're looking for answers, this is the place." Ciel stated as Sebastian shut the door and you all walked to the center of the room.

A deep, gravely laugh echoed throughout the room. "Welcome. I thought I'd be seeing you before long." A voice said, making you smile and Grell cower in fear.

You all looked to the right at one of the many coffins as a pale hand with black long nails came out and slowly pushed the coffin door open.

"My lord, it's so lovely to see you." The person behind the door said as their green eyes glowed against their scarred face that was covered by their silver hair.

"Do I finally have the pleasure of fitting you for one of me coffins today?" Undertaker asked with a smile as Madam Red, Lau, and Grell gaped at him in fear.

"No, that isn't why I am here... I wanted to—" Undertaker's gasp cut Ciel off as he ran to you and pulled you into a hug.

"Oh, my dear (Y/N), seeing you after all these years...it brings a smile to my face." Undertaker said with a grin as he stroked your (H/C) hair.

"How refreshing it is to see you as well, Unnie." You replied as you hugged him back.

"Unnie?" Sebastian questioned while Undertaker laughed.

You have grown to like Undertaker, and even trust him. He knew what you were and always welcomed you with open arms. He trusted you to a point where you were the only one who knew his secret.

"It's been so long since you've called me that." He said while pulling away from you.

"Undertaker, I—" Ciel began again but stopped once Undertaker placed his hand over his mouth.

"No need to say, I'm already aware. Very well aware." He said as he bit one of his long nails. "One of my recent customers was a bit unusual, shall we say. I helped though, I made her look beautiful again." He proudly grinned.

"I would like the details, please." Ciel said.

"I see now, so the funeral parlor is only your cover business. How much is it for information?" Lau asked.

Undertaker's smile dropped as he suddenly got up in Lau's face, making him lean back.

"I have no need for the Queen's coins, there's only one thing I want from you!" He exclaimed, his smile returning as he then turned to Ciel.

"Please, my lord, give it to me and I'll tell you anything!" He beamed as he now stood in front of Ciel.

"Give me the extraordinary gift of true laughter! Just one joke and all the information is yours!" He exclaimed with a grin.

"Lunatic..." Ciel muttered as Undertaker held his arms and rocked back and forth, still grinning.

"Leave it to me, my lord." Lau spoke up, causing everyone to look at him. "Here is my joke. It's a classic. On which side does a tiger have the most stripes? On the outside!"

Everyone only stared at him. "Get it? Haha? Haha..." He stopped, realizing no one was laughing.

"My turn." Madam Red said as she stepped forward. "I live for gossip, so this story will make you laugh so hard you'll simply curl up and die." She said with a smile.

"So Alice's beau gave her the most extraordinary [CENSORED] for her birthday." You quickly covered Ciel's ears. He looked up at you questioningly, but you only smiled at him.

"It was [CENSORED] wide and so [CENSORED] with thick veins running down the [CENSORED]" Undertaker covered her mouth with his hand.

"Goodness me, that will be quite enough." He said, before walking up to Ciel as you uncovered his ears. "Now, my lord, it looks like you're the only one left. I gave you a special discount last time, but I'm not gonna do it again."

Ciel scowled at him, until Sebastian stepped forward. "It can't be helped."

Ciel looked up at him. "Sebastian?"

Undertaker snickered. "Hmph! it's a lovely offer, butler, but I would prefer the payment by (Y/N)." He said as he took your hands. "It's been so long since I've had the joy of hearing your jokes, so would you allow me to have my time in my heavenly utopia once again, dearie?"

You bowed your head. "Very well." You said as you took your hands back from him. "Everyone please wait outside." You pulled down the black gloves that covered your white ones and looked back at them with a serious and very intimidating look. "No matter what happens, do not attempt to listen to this."

Everyone besides Ciel and Sebastian shivered under your hard gaze. "Make it quick." Ciel said as Sebastian opened the door, allowing everyone to exit.

He looked back at Undertaker, who was grinning in anticipation and narrowed his eyes at him before closing the door behind him.

. . .

It was silent as everyone stood outside, waiting on you. After a few seconds, the entire building shook as Undertaker's laughter animated from it, causing the sign on the building to fall off.

Once the laughter died down, the door opened to reveal you, smiling. "Please do come back in now. I believe he will tell us everything we want to know."

Everyone peered inside and walked back in to see Undertaker, faced down on a coffin, widely grinning. "Oh my... I've again seen the face of ultimate bliss..."

. . .

Ciel, Lau, and Madam Red all sat on coffins while holding beakers that had been filled with tea while you, Sebastian and Grell stood behind your masters.

"An interesting pattern I'm seeing these days. I often get customers who are incomplete." Undertaker said as he stood in front of some shelves, next to a manikin of the human body.

"Incomplete?" You questioned as he grabbed the mannequin and stroked it's head.

"Yes... the uterus is missing, which is quite odd." He replied, making everyone slightly gasp.

He turned the manikin around and looked at it from the front. "The killer makes a big mess of the body, but that particular part is always precisely excised."

"He did it on a road that was public, though not high traffic. Wouldn't an amateur have a difficult time carrying out such a complicated procedure quickly enough?" Sebastian questioned as Undertaker put down the manikin.

"You're a clever one, butler. That is exactly what I was thinking." He said as he turned around, before walking over to you.

He placed his arm around your shoulders and looked at Ciel. "You see, first he slits her throat with a sharp weapon-" He said while indicating as if he was slicing your throat."-then he rips into it right here... " He moved his hand over your stomach. "-and takes that precious womanly part." He finished while poking your cheek with his nail.

Sebastian glared at him as he backed away and turned to the others.

"There will be more slain, I'm certain. Sadistic killers like this one don't stop until someone makes them." He stated as he walked back towards the manikin. He stopped and turned to face Ciel. "Will you stop him? Can you sniff him out, like a good little guard dog?"

"I'm bound by the honor of my family. I will eliminate any threat the Queen asks me to... by any means I find necessary." Ciel stated. You looked at him with an amused expression and smirked.

. . .

*In the Carriage*

You sat in between Sebastian and Lau with Ciel and Madam Red across from you while Grell drove.

"His information narrows down our suspects." Ciel said.

"First of all, we look at those with the necessary skill set. Crossing out anyone with an alibi for the nights on which the murders occurred." You stated.

Sebastian hummed. "Removal of the organs would suggest some kind of gruesome ritual. We should concentrate our investigation on people involved with secret societies."

"As if that narrows the field! Why, even I would have the medical skills necessary for this!" Madam Red disagreed. "Besides which, the Season is ending soon. Any doctors who followed the nobles to the city will be returning to the country, and then what-"

"Then we'll have to conclude the investigation quickly." Sebastian cut her off with a smile.

"Impossible." Lau said in disbelief.

"We should be able to do this much at least. Otherwise, what kind of maid and butler would we be?" Sebastian said while putting his hand on his heart.

Ciel smirked while Madam Red and Lau gave looks of surprise. "We'll make up a list of viable suspects and begin questioning them for you immediately, my lord." You stated as you leaned forward to his face with a smile.

Sebastian opened the door and you both stood up, facing them. "Now, if you'll excuse us..." You said as Ciel only waved you off, before you both jumped off the carriage, with the door shutting.

Madam Red and Lau gasped, quickly looking out the window. "They know that we're moving, right?!" Madam Red questioned in shock as they looked out, but you were both nowhere in sight.

"(Y/N) and Sebastian will take care of it for now. We can head home and have a cup of tea while we wait." Ciel simply said while resting his chin in his hand.

. . .

Once they had all arrived back at the Villa, Lau opened the door, and they all stared in shock at the sight of you and Sebastian bowing towards them.

"Welcome back, everyone. We have awaited your return." You greeted with a smile, before you both stood up.

"Your afternoon tea is ready for you in the drawing room." Sebastian stated as Ciel handed him his hat and walked inside.

"Hold on! How are you both here?!" Madam Red questioned as Ciel continued on and started to climb the stairs.

"We finished up that little errand, so we made our way home to edify you." Sebastian answered as you both turned to them.

"You made the suspect list already?" She questioned with wide eyes.

"Well...Yes, we made a list of names based on what we had discussed, and then we contacted them all then we asked them the relevant questions." You simply said as you both pulled out three scrolls.

"Come now, (Y/N), that's impossible even for the both of you." Madam Red said, unconvinced.

You both sliced open the scrolls and Sebastian began to read off. "Richard Oswald, doctor of the Duke of Bailey was at the White Horse pub with his friends. He has no connection to secret societies."

"Madam Heavitt, surgeon at the Royal London Central Hospital was at the Stipple Inn. She has no connection to secret societies." You read after him.

"William Somerset, doctor to the Earl Chambers was at a party hosted by the Viscount Harwood. From this information, we have narrowed down our list to one possible suspect." Sebastian finished as the scrolls fell to the ground.

Ciel looked at you both with a smirk while Madam Red and Grell stared at you both in awe. "Are you certain you're just a maid and butler? Not some secret military intelligence officers?" Madam Red questioned.

"See, my lady, we are simply one hell of a maid and butler." You said with a smile.

Things about me...

1.The meaning behind my url: littlesmoosh is what I called my son when he was in my tummy. I've wanted to change it to a Taylor URL so many times but I won't. 2. How many tattoos i have and what they are: 2. One is a black hearer on my hip which used to by a red one with an ex's name in it because I was once 17 and stupid 😂 the other is song lyrics on my neck saying 'she floated away' which is a song by a band called husker du. It's a song me and my dad listen to together and also my mum isn't with us so the lyrics are symbolic of her passing. 3. Last time i cried and why: I cry a lot. The last time was probably due to over thinking. 4. Piercings i have: ears although I don't often wear earrings, belly button and I did have my lip pierced so I'm left with a little hole 🙈 5. Favorite band: inme 6. Biggest turn offs: liars. Closed minded people. 7. Top 5 films: Forrest Gump, father of the bride part 2, titanic, the wedding singer, all the twilight films. 8. Tattoos i want: I don't think I'll ever get any more actually 9. Biggest turn ons: humour, kindness and foot rubs 🙈 10. Age: 27... 28 in March 11. Ideas of a perfect date: something outdoorsy but with good comfort food. 12. Life goal: actual life goal is to be the best mum I can be and raise Dexter to be an amazing man who respects everyone. But if we aren't including that then of course my life goal is to meet @taylorswift maybe I can have both? 13. Piercings i want: no more 14.Relationship status: I've been with my Thomas for three and a half years now and hoping to be together for about another 80. 15. Favorite song: you're not sorry by Taylor Swift. It makes me feel so empowered and said everything I needed to say at a time in my life where I really needed it. 16. A fact about my life: I work in a school supporting children, my area of expertise is the autistic spectrum. I am absolutely fascinated by how different people are who are labelled under the same category. There is something really beautiful about it. I love moulding myself to fit each person and always being able to find some common ground with them. 17. Phobia: ugh, spiders! 18. Middle name: I am the only person in my whole entire family without a middle name and I'm not bitter about it at all... 19. Height: 5ft3 20. Are you a virgin? I have a five year old son so... 21. What’s your shoe size? U.K. Size 4 22. What’s your sexual orientation?: I like to just view myself as 'open' 23. Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?: I drink when I go out, probably about once a month. 24. Someone you miss: my best friend moved to Canada and I live in Scotland! We stay in touch all the time but I miss being able to cuddle her! 25. What’s one thing you regret?: not getting my university degree. 26. First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive: Taylor. She is beautiful. 27. Favorite ice cream?: I tried dragonfruit ice cream recently and it was magnificent 28. One insecurity: my stomach. Some days I'm a fierce mum who is proud of her stripes and other days I'm just a girl, standing in front of a mirror, asking it to change her. 29. What my last text message says: it was telling Thomas that I'll wait for him before I watch the newest episode of the walking dead. 30. Have you ever taken a picture naked?; I'd be lying if I said I hadn't. 31. Have you ever painted your room?: when I was 13 I painted a heartagram on my bedroom roof with black gloss paint! It's the symbol of a band called HIM! 32. Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?: yeah 33. Have you ever slept naked?: yeah but I'm not a big fan of it, I'm a cold tattie and also... monsters. 34. Have you ever danced in front of your mirror?: so often, especially this last month because every song Taylor has released mirror dancing worthy! 35. Have you ever had a crush?: only about a thousand 😂 36. Have you ever been dumped?: yeah, a couple of times! 37. Have you ever stole money from a friend?: I've never stolen money. Period. 38. Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met?: only taxi drivers.. 39. Have you ever been in a fist fight?: yes. Two boys attacked my very lovely very innocent gay friend and I seen red and attacked them like a squirrel monkey. I'm not even sorry. 40. Have you ever snuck out of your house?: I never had to. 41. Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Yeah when I was younger. 42. Have you ever been arrested? Never. 43. Have you ever made out with a stranger?: yes, back in my student days! 44. Have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?: yes 45: Have you ever left your house without telling your parents?: I do it every day because I live on my own lol 46.Have you ever had a crush on your neighbor?: no 47. Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun?: it's been a long time since I was at school but yeah I did 48. Have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?: of course 49.Have you ever seen someone die?: no.. touch wood. 50. Have you ever been on a plane? Yeah a couple of times 51. Have you ever kissed a picture?: hahaha maaaaybe 🙈 52. Have you ever slept in until 3?: yes! One time I slept for 19 solid hours without waking once. 53. Have you ever love someone or miss someone right now?: I literally seen my boyfriend this morning and I love and miss him already. 54. Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?: my favourite pastime ☺️ 55. Have you ever made a snow angel?: every year without fail. Although I confess I actually hate snow! 56. Have you ever played dress up? Yeah 57. Have you ever cheated while playing a game?: I've put in cheat codes for crash bandicoot to open all the levels before.. does that count? 58. Have you ever been lonely?: I feel lonely almost every day even though I really ament lonely. It's okay not to feel okay. 59. Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school?: both 😂 60. Have you ever been to a club?: lots of times 61. Have you ever felt an earthquake?: no, touch wood. It's not something that really happens in Scotland. 62. Have you ever touched a snake?: held a few to be brave in front of Dex. 63. Have you ever ran a red light?: I don't drive. I tried to learn but I am too much of a nervous person and it just wasn't for me: 64. Have you ever been suspended from school?: no. 65. Have you ever had detention?: no 66. Have you ever been in a car accident?: touch wood again, no. 67. Have you ever hated the way you look?: on a daily basis. I'm sad to say. 68. Have you ever witnessed a crime?: several. Nothing major though 70. Have you ever pole danced?: no, I'd be horrendous at it!!! 71. Have you ever been lost?: lots of times! 72. Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country?: Britain, yes. Europe, no. 73. Have you ever felt like dying?: yeah, labour was so painful I can't even tell you how terrible it felt! 74. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?: several times 75. Have you ever sang karaoke?: actually no! Although I reckon it's something I'd enjoy, I've just never been in that situation! 76. Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?: every day I each rubbish and every night I say I'll be better the next day! 77. Have you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?: yes and it hurts! 78. Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger?: no, biggest age gap was four years older! 79. Have you ever kissed in the rain?: yeah but it's not as romantic as the movies make it out to be! 80. Have you ever sang in the shower?: on a daily basis! 81. Have you ever made out in a park? Yep 82. Have you ever dream that you married someone?: I don't think so actually 83. Have you ever glued your hand to something?: hahaha yes!!! 84: Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?: no, I'm not that silly 🙈 85. Have you ever ever gone to school partially naked?: omg no thank god! 86. Have you ever been a cheerleader?: no, it's not really a big thing in Scotland 87. Have you ever sat on a roof top?: sure have 88. Have you ever brush your teeth?: omg imagine if I hadn't?! 89. Have you ever ever too scared to watch scary movies alone?: I literally can't! I can barely watch them with people never mind alone! 90. Have you ever played chicken?: no! 91. Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Nope 92. Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?: yeah, usually drunken old men! 93. Have you ever broken a bone?: no, touch wood! 94. Have you ever been easily amused?: always! 95. Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?: yeah so many times! The best times! 96. Have you ever mooned/flashed someone?: yeah, not strangers though! 97. Have you ever cheated on a test?: no! 98. Have you ever forgotten someone’s name?: literally every day at my job because I recently moved schools and there's soooo many names to remember? 99. Have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real?: yes 100. Give us one thing about you that no one knows.: I feel like everyone knows everything about me because I'm a pretty open book. But one thing people won't know unless they've caught me doing it is that I like to pull my eyelashes out and eat them. I don't know why. I've just always done it since I was little. I guess it makes me feel comforted in some weird way. I can't explain it. It's not something I'd announce to people though!

Good and lovely Monday morning dear friends from around the globe!!!  This is the final Monday in the month of May, and I am stunned … where has the year gone???  I think I must have passed much of it in a haze or daze, as I still think it should be March!  Just the other day a friend posted the number of days ’til Christmas, and my daughter mentioned something about decorating for Hallowe’en!  Nononono, people!  Somebody slow this world down … I need time to go slower so that I can at least remember the days!

I would like to wish my Muslim friends, readers and neighbors Ramadan mubarak. Ramadan began on Friday 26 May and goes until Saturday, 24 June.

And now, let us try to find a bit of humour to start this week off, shall we? So grab your coffee … or, um … whatever … and enjoy a bit of a chuckle …

Burger King fast-food restaurants have many locations worldwide, including Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Singapore, and many of the countries in the European Union.  However they do not yet have a restaurant in Belgium.  They are slated to open a Belgium location next month, but there is some controversy here.  Apparently, the head honchos over at Burger King thought it would be cute to launch an advertising campaign with a website asking citizens of Belgium to choose between the Burger ‘King’, and Belgium’s own King Philippe.  Well, that did not go over too big with the Belgium Royal Family!

A visit to the website prompts users to pick one: Belgian King Philippe, or the company’s mascot. If the user picks Philippe, the ad asks “Are you sure? He won’t be the one to cook your fries.” If they pick him again, then the only option offered is “no.”

Is the Burger King drooling down his beard???

A spokesman for the Belgian royal family told the BBC the monarchy does not grant permission for photos to be used for profit, as in the case with Burger King’s marketing venture. “We disapprove of this approach,” royal spokesman Pierre Emmanuel de Bauw said. “Since it is for commercial purposes, we would not have given our authorization.” A mite touchy, aren’t they?

I have found the perfect job for me!  Only problem … it is in Ireland and I am … well, not in Ireland.  But it is a job at which I have plenty of experience.  Just Cats Veterinary Clinic and Cattery has a job opening for a professional “cat cuddler.” The job posting asks for “a crazy cat person who loves cats” with “gentle hands capable of petting and stroking cats for long periods of time.”

Are you a crazy cat person and loves cats?

Does cattitude come naturally to you?

Have you counted kittens before you go asleep?

Do you feed the stray cats in your locality?

Does petting cats make you feel warm and fuzzy?

If you answer yes to some or all of these questions, how about working with cats as a full time job at Just Cats Veterinary Clinic?

I already do this job … I just don’t get paid money for it, but I get paid in purrs and snuggles, so it’s all good!

Now here’s a headline you don’t see often:

Girl, 11, Accuses Teacher Of ‘War Crime’ Under ‘Geneva Conventions’

The girl is 11-year-old Ava Cross of Glasgow, Scotland, and her father, author Mason Cross  , said he wasn’t sure whether to ground her or buy her ice cream when he learned of her response on the feedback form.  The form asked students to list things their teacher could do better, to which young Ava replied:  “Not use collective punishment as it is not fair on the many people who did nothing and under the 1949 Geneva Conventions it is a war crime.”  This girl is obviously getting a good education … at age 11, I don’t think I was quite aware what the Geneva Conventions even were!!!  Dad said the precocious youngster is “11 going on 47.”

Here is a short one, but one of those that make you say ‘awwwwwwww’.  Or at least it made me say that, but then I have a soft, squishy heart when it comes to critters.  An unnamed owner of a home aquarium in Lidingo, Sweden, round one of his fish on the bottom of the tank one morning, apparently injured and unable to swim.  😥

Now, many would just write the fish off and either let it die, or help it along with a toilet flush, but not this man!  He went the extra mile and created a little harness from two twist ties and a floating piece of cork that allows the fish to move around the tank with his fishy friends!  Here is a short video of li’l fishie using his new device!

I guess you have to be Scottish to understand the outrage in this story … I just found it humorous.  Former President Obama traveled to Scotland last week, his first visit there.  While there, he took time for a round of golf on the world-famous course in St Andrews.  At some point, Obama was handed a bottle of the Scottish soda pop Irn Bru, and a photo was snapped.  No biggie, right?  WRONG.  The Scots are livid … well, some of them anyway.

He’s lookin’ mighty good, at least from the backside, right ladies?  

You might wonder why are they so angry. Isn’t Irn Bru an iconic Scottish drink, showing off the best of the wonderful country? Well, they gave him the sugar-free version. And Scots are NOT happy.

On Twitter:

“This is not a drill: Barack Obama has been given some Irn Bru in St Andrews.”

“Who the hell gave Obama sugar-free Irn Bru?!?!”

“What treachery to all that is scottish and holy is this?” 

“Imagine giving Obama diet Irn Bru. Could’ve been worse and handed him that new Xtra stuff that pretends to be sweet still but isn’t.”

Gutted that Obama has been given sugar-free Irn Bru instead of the real stuff #madefromgirders ”

“Someone gave Obama DIET irn bru! That’s not what he came here for lads. The big guy needs full fat.”

“@JamieRoss7 @thecommongreen Is that diet? Somebody wants to make sure he never comes back.”

“Obama has been given Diet Irn Bru. This is a major snub. If he were still President he would be justified in launching a nuclear war”

“@JamieRoss7 wait wait wait…is that sugar free? Arrest that man.”

“@JamieRoss7 @MhairiHunter Diet Irn Bru? Who did it, i demand their immediate arrest!?”

Now who knew that the Scots hated diet soda with such a passion???  At any rate, it is said that just a few minutes later, Obama was spotted drinking a bottle of Lipton tea, so I will leave you to draw your own conclusions.

And I just had to throw in and old ad for Irn Bru I discovered along my travels:

Let us wrap up this Monday morn with a few Irish jokes, shall we?

Paddy and Seamus were walking home from the pub.  Paddy says to Seamus, ‘What a beautiful night, look at the moon.’

Seamus stops and looks at Paddy, ‘You are wrong, that’s not the moon, that’s the sun.’ Both started arguing for a while when they come upon a real drunk walking in the other direction, so they stopped him.

‘Sir, could you please help settle our argument?

Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that’s shining. Is it the moon or the sun?’  The drunk looked at the sky and then looked at them, and said,

‘Sorry, I don’t live around here.’

A pregnant Irish woman from Dublin gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, ‘Ma’ am you had twins! a boy and a girl. Your brother from Cork came in and named them.’

The woman thinks to herself, ‘Oh No, not my brother… he’s an idiot!’ She asks the doctor, ‘Well, what’s the girl’s name?’ Denise.’

‘Wow, that’s not a bad name, I like it! What’s the boy’s name?’

‘Denephew.’

A man flops down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie is stained, his face is smeared with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin is sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opens a newspaper and begins reading.

After a few minutes the guy turns to the priest and asks, ‘Say, Father, what causes arthritis?’ Loose living; cheap, wicked woman; too much alcohol; and contempt for your fellow man,’ ‘answers the priest.  ‘I’ll be damned,’ the drunk mutters, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he said, nudges the man and apologises. ‘ I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to be so harsh. How long have you had arthritis?’

‘Oh, I don’t have it, Father. But it says here that the Pope does.’

And so, my friends, it is time to … OH WAIT!!!  Today is Memorial Day in the U.S., so my local friends will NOT have to put on ties and death trap high heels to go to work today!  However, sadly my dear readers on the other side of the pond … you DO have to go to work today.  Whether you are preparing a family cookout or going to work today, I hope your day at least started out with a smile.  Whatever you do, keep safe and remember to share that smile … hugs and love to you all!

Bon Lundi Matin, Amis!!! Good and lovely Monday morning dear friends from around the globe!!!  This is the final Monday in the month of May, and I am stunned ...