wait how did reginald and the academy learn what allison had to say to rumor people. like there's a billion and one things that she could have said how did they accurately land on "i heard a rumor" ??

did reginald spend day after day just making 5 yr old allison say the wildest shit. like shit it could have been "methinks" or something how long did it take for them to get to that

im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed

my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.

and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.

anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,

I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me

im going by metro which is quite safe

im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18

she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)

anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm

so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?

anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".

and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.

speaking of ocd, I think I'm realizing that I truly don't have anxiety and it's literally just my ocd. im not anxious about anything until it involves me and suddenly I'm spiraling

also man. I've been debating on patreon for a bit because a) I want a place to post my smut b) desperately need to lessen up on commission work because I'm NOT in a great place for it and I'm just super burnt out and c) I want to feel like I can like, breathe a bit and create what I want to create. but holy shit is imposter syndrome real lol

the kids miss you taylor, come home.

to the cold caller who's knocked on my door three times today... im killing u with my mind

tagged by @pinktyler aka josh dickfuckk dot tumble to do this ✌️

i will tag uhh @xoxoemynn @saltpepperbeard @snake-snack-stede @darkinerry @ella-doe @sherlockig no pressure!!

ahhhhh i’m so fucking close to getting the IN 1cc but Reisen keeps wearing me down to where i can’t clear Kaguya but the last two runs i’ve had have made it to her final spell (i can only do about 1 or 2 runs a day cuz the malice cannon puts a lot of strain on my wrist) and in all honesty i probably shoulda beat it the last time my first 3 stages were the best they’d ever been and i sightread Keine’s Last Spell but stage 4 was p rough for me but that was my fault for streaming and talking and not paying attention. reimu’s like danmaku barrier is definitely like a top 3 spellcard for me along w okuu’s final spell because it’s just so much fun and a really cool concept i think anyways goodnight

not to be a roman is gay/ace truther but literally me whenever i see the idea that roman is bi:

made the huge mistake of rewatching 1x06 of The Nevers and literally nothing ive ever seen can compare to the rush i get from these 25 minutes of sci-fi starring a young hopeful medic / older hardened soldier tragic lesbian romance in the midst of desolation and war

Tumblr ate the remembered/suggested tags across every single one of my side blogs.

Uggggggggh.

i havent watched a stream in a solid year. i should probably try to tune in to at least a few of them but it's. difficult </3

NAHHHHHHHH

I saw some mutuals get the same anon about ‘Man U’ being derogatory. Is that true or?

no it isn’t. the only thing derogatory about man u is the existence of manchester united

i have lived in my own home for 5 years. 500-750sqft, multiple rooms. all my shit and my responsibility, at the very least to some significant degree when living with roommates and partners.

i’ve already got rid of like 75% of the shit i own if i’m being conservative. i am moving into a bedroom that is 63sqft. there is only 30sqft with my bed in the room. the rest the the home is furnished and well stocked. as a result i’m bringing in a lot to a tiny room with the understanding that i’ll have to do my last bisl stretch of downsizing during this moving process.

my parents are completely crazed by the idea that i might bring more than a suitcase and a box or two. i cannot stress enough how completely fine and normal they will be about the amount of stuff once it is unpacked and organized. they have a habit of not being able to process how much is contained in a box and how much can be sorted reasonably into a room from a box. it has nothing to do with reality it is a skill issue.

so you can imagine the very specific shit show i am preparing for. fiancé is already prepped on the necessary white lies to continue to placate them with so that they do not blow a gasket over a completely acceptable volume of material possessions.

God that's me!

Someone i know was talking about how she plays gane with her tumblr mutuals and I instantly was TERRIFIED that we'll come across each other some time! Nobody i know irl is allowed to follow me, you must live at least 1 city away if we're to be mutuals lmao

the horrors of being perceived outside of our comfort zones 😔 we just trying to chill 😩