#introspection i suppose | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bunni-bun · 2 years

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#having weird existential feelings about myself and my relationship to the HP series including JKR again and i'm just kinda mehh now #on one hand HP and JKR are literally the reason i write and read #like i've read HP so many times i can recite the books and movies verbatim #and when i was younger i would tell everyone ever that i was gonna be the next JKR and write a series like hers #cuz i wanted to write something that is beloved and known by all the way HP is/was #and then i grew up #and i learned about poc experiences and trans people #and now some of my greatest friends are trans people and pocs who i adore above all else #that i can't support someone/something who is against the people i love #but that leaves me with the weird feeling of acknowledgment for what HP and JKR have done for me as a writer #and the impact they had on my life's trajectory and my greatest ability #i love writing. i pick up a pen and start writing something and i feel euphoric because it's my favorite thing to do in the world #and it's what i do best now that i'm older #and i would have never known that had it not been for the way JKR wrote HP that it resonated with 12 yo me #but 29 yo me also knows to let go of HP & JKR because i cannot actively support them anymore #it just doesn't stop the weird feeling tho #sad when the author you wanted to emulate turns out to be a fucking TERF but oh well :/#cyndy speaks #introspection i suppose

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tothepointofinsanity · 8 months

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Opinion detected, agent dispatched.

#don't even ask.#i will be consistent in my colouring of sayaka this time #ttpoiart #madoka magica #puella magi madoka magica #magical girl #pmmm #pmmm sayaka #sayaka miki #pre-grief syndrome #mahou shoujo madoka magica #cruelty squad #Cruelty Squad game #silly posting #this was initially supposed to be one of those edgy mirror introspection art pieces #but then the squiggles were giving CS and i went “well why not”#sometimes not every opportunity should be taken #shout out to my two followers who know CS and Pmmm

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dragonsinboston · 9 months

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Memory…

+ an alternative i decided against but still enjoy….

#i was gonna to call it ‘blast from the past’ but that is WAY too cheesed up for what’s supposed to be an introspective piece #get it? ‘cuz it’s a plasma blast #and it’s toothless #anyway #they robbed us of other night furies #httyd #how to train your dragon #toothless #dragonsinboston #dragonsinboston art #art

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biscuityskies · 3 months

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He’s thought about it, you see.

Cody taps his stylus incessantly against his datapad, barely registering the steady noises it makes. Mostly, he’s just looking for something for his hands to do.

Because he’s thought about it.

Here’s the current plan - as described in version 13.1. Step one: he and Obi-Wan both survive the war. Step two: they find a quiet place to live. Maybe they build it. Maybe it’s by a lake. Who’s really to say. That part’s not important. Step three - and this one’s the big one: they settle down.

For @dontbelasagnax, for putting up with my shenanigans and also to prove I’m still a fluff truther (and for me, to prove I can still write)

#dani writes #codywan #it’s rather an introspective piece I suppose #but it did pass peer review from lasagna herself #a point of pride for me personally

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ghostpebble · 2 months

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hey bh6 tumblr are you ready to be sad?? no? great!

cass hamada was probably the sister of mr hamada, looking at this family photo (considering that mrs. hamada looks too much of asian descent compared to cass?? just hear me out because they don't look enough alike and enough NOT alike for me to be decisive about it, especially w/ the picture quality in the scene)

now, for hiro and tadashi to still be hamada's in this case, that means that their father most likely took up their mother's family name instead, as long as we're sticking by the fact that hiro and tadashi are half-white-half-japanese.

the sad part?

once hiro and tadashi's parents passed away, cass lost her brother and her new sister-in-law and took in the children that, frankly, look VERY much like her brother. and it doesn't stop there.

either of these two happened:

1. cass took the hamada name so that hiro and tadashi, once adopted, wouldn't have to part with their family name and could still identify with their parents and culture.

or

2. cass took the hamada name because it was what her brother did. she took any chance to be closer to him and to preserve what he would have wanted after his death, and gave up her own name to take on the hamada legacy, not just so that hiro and tadashi could keep it, but because it was what her brother wanted. and she misses him.

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housewifebuck · 11 months

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wrote 1600 words of this god damn fic tonight alone and they JUST kissed. pathetic !

#it was supposed to be like. under 2k total just a little fluff piece #and instead it’s heavy angst and introspection for 3600+ words before they even smooch a lil #and then by god I think they might fuck nasty as well #personal #hey. does anybody want to beta this fic btw. I’ll pay u in pics of my cats

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d1gnan · 5 months

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hii fight club nation i made these for u

jack playlist tyler durden playlist

#d1gsart #fight club #narrator fight club #tyler durden #soapshipping #bro i put so much thought and time into this #theres more songs on tylers on the actual playlist #but basically #i think itd make sense for tyler to listen to mostly music thats a backing track for action rather than like introspective music #so i put a lot of like instrumentals/soundtracks #edward norton #fight club 1999 #david fincher #playlists #spotify #playlist #i tried to keep it 90 percent stuff they couldve actually listened to also #oh and i put some muzac on the playlist cause i think pressman hotel tyler totaly ironically listens to corporate ass jingly bossa nova #but yeah these r supposed to be two sides to the same music taste

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the-lark-ascending69 · 2 months

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> be a robin buckley fan

> be lesbian

> project on robin

> look up "internalized homophobia robin buckley" on tumblr because it's cathartic

> 3/4 of the posts are about st3ddie or just about steve

#saw one in which steve was like ''no robin you don't understand! i have never been loved! i don't know how that feels like!''#i have several grips about that interpretation #going from the fact that's not true (dustin is clearly a big steve fan + robin herself cares about him deeply)#to the fact he probably wouldn't be introspective enough to voice his emotions this concisely not to mention he'd probably wouldn't take #a moment to realize he's never felt loved if that were the case. i mean. he could think that. when he's like 35 and more in touch with his #inner world. 19yo steve can't even get the hint that hitting on a girl who's already clearly taken (nancy) is wrong so like i don't expect #him to be that smart #but i can live with people having takes i don't agree with. my opinion doesn't have to be everyone else's opinion if you see steve that way #it fine #what bothered me was the fact he was saying this to a lesbian living in the 80s lmao #who tells him that 1) her whole life has been an error 2) she doesn't think he'd want to be close to her if he truly knew her and 3)#3) is paralyzed by fear of social suicide if she dares believe for even a second that the girl she likes may like her too #like i dont need people to do deep dives into robin lore and quote from memory lines from Surviving Hawkins abt robin feeling like she's #rotten inside. not supposed to have friends. feeling like something is wrong with her and that pushes people away etc etc #the fact that she's a lesbian should tell you enough abt who has the biggest chances of being loved 😭#also bothered me that it showed up when looking up posts abt internalized homophobia because?? where's the internalized homophobia therw #unless it's gay steve feeling bad abt it in an AU (as if canon robin didn't go through it)#like look im not bothered to find steve-centric content in the robin tag cos people are gonna tag her in posts mentioning her.#she's his friend.#but there are barely any posts at all about robin's internalized homophobia. like i saw 2 or 3. compared to all the steve or steddie ones #where's the love for my babygirl 😭😭#anti steddie #not really but y'know i don't wanna bother anyone #edit: the bit about there being like 3 posts on robin w internalized homophobia isn't exactly true. there are a few. but they still feel #drowned in st3ddie posts #like something isn't right here

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existencebringsonlypain · 3 months

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I go by she/her because that's what I'm used to, but gender isn't really something that important or meaningful to me personally. I use they/them when referring to myself, but I have no problem with others using any other pronouns (though I'm not used to neopronouns, so perhaps not those).

this could probably be referred to as agender.

which means...

I am a 𝗤𝗨𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗨𝗣𝗟𝗘 𝗔 𝗕𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗬

#aromantic asexual agender my name starts with A and so does my birth month #that was the whole joke but this turned out to be more introsepctive on my gender than anything #this has been my conclusion for a while. but i still call myself cis because i'm not trans‚ not really #i'm not enby. i may be agender(?) but despite that lack of gender-ment i still present and am fine with presenting as female #there's no dysphoria or euphoria #i'm firmly of the stance that the reason lots of people are transphobic is because they're on the agender spectrum #and as such gener doesn't really matter to them. and so when people make a big deal out of it it feels weird #also: bigotry #so #i suppose this counts as a coming out post #i still prefer she/her since it's easier to tell if people are referring to me in particular‚ but feel free to use they or he for me #he/him feels a tad weird but mostly because it's mostly assuming strangers on the youtube who will use that for me #but you can do whatever #existenceunrelateds #coming out post #???#you already knew i was queer‚ it's not too shocking. and i'm still going with cis‚ don't think i'll stop doing that anytime soon #why am i being so introspective‚ this is a joke about calling me an AAAAA battery #𝗤𝗨𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗢𝗨𝗣𝗟𝗘 𝗔 𝗕𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗬

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transmechanicus · 12 days

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Never underestimate the power of a comfy hoodie to ward off Lovecraftian madness🖤

#my stuff #deadass can’t even talk to my therapist abt this it’s so outside their wheelhouse #i need a philosopher of nonspecific piety i don’t need the infuriating suffocation of organized religion #but i require an outside party to assist introspection or i am going to go feral #like how tf do i vocalize a long buried conviction that i’m supposed to be hearing more voices in my head and it’s distressing that i can’t #where are you #i don’t have enough eyes i can’t see #i don’t know what you want. what we need.#i can’t hear you. i’m doing my best but i don’t know what the intent is #know that i’m trying but it feels insufficient #why did you put me here alone what is the lesson this time #i’m hungry i’m lonely i’m of imperfect shape and tormented mind and i want the rest of me or i want OUT!!#give me back my mitosis of eyes

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weedsmokingbf · 2 months

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i try not to talk about this kinda stuff online as often anymore since over sharing on the internet is not good and I want to be more comfortable with my online presence and don't want to just be known as the guy with a personality disorder lol but recently a few of my alters tried to work towards fusion and ultimately it didn't work out which at first made us sad but it ended up being a good experience anyways bc it opened up some internal ways of communication and they seem a lot happier...

#speaks #probably delete soon but im being introspective while i have the time i suppose #im very proud of one of them bc she has come a long way and has healed a looooot....

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celecaster · 7 days

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I wonder if people ever go to my actual bloge to read the backlog of postes [ like, they see me on the dash maybe and decide 'well might as well see if I missed anything' ].

I believe it for my last blogs which were more 'useful' in content but I doubt it for this bloge. Anyway what I really wanted to say is that I don't do this for other bloges because I'm paranoid they can 'tell', and this is one of my more persistent paranoia-tinted beliefs, despite it also being one of the most low stakes. It's also one of the reasons I get phases where I am obviously here (posteing) but I never read any actual postes. I just don't check the dash.

I remember it took me six months of talking to LO1 to look at their account itself [ as opposed to seeing their posts on the main timeline ] and I actually had to ask them for permission personally. Even then I only worked up the guts to because we already talked semi-consistently since they tended to comment/respond to my postes.

Tangentially it's funny (not really) that for LO1 and LO2 both of them started out paying consistent, unprompted attention to me first that I mostly did not engage with (because I was too bashful/afraid to do so lmfao).

#d #lo #schizoposting #I haven't been feeling any particularly 'intense' emotions thinking about any of my LOs #I ruminate about them but more as tangents to my usual introspection on my own experiences #and not about them themselves if that makes sense?#I suppose this is good because it means I am 'getting over' it a little #But I'm not entirely certain this isn't a temporary 'remission'

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crypticmachiavellianwriter · 9 months

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I really thought I'd write some good old-fashioned orgasm delay/denial smut and be done with it.

but here I am, being introspective about things I don't know nearly enough about. anyway, as a girlie who wants and isn't getting, I've been using this f1 rpf fic as therapy too much.

(this is a teaser (I suppose) for the next chapter and don't let it fool you, it's got a lot of sex in it.

just sometimes my silly little brain gets in the way and writes a lot ode to a man I barely know)

find this fic on ao3 here

#introspective writing #I was supposed to be writing smut #wtf do you mean I just spent seventeen paragraphs waxing on about how a man changes over time?#sewis #writing sebastian has been so weirdly therapeutic #f1 rpf #f1 rpf fic

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pieofdeath · 2 months

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re: the rotd spotify playlist, explain your vision for pathological facade (please and thank you) :]

Hehehehe HIII bubblegum :D Pathological Facade is a multi-faceted answer! So you’ll get ALL the parts :D

1- Honey I'm Home, also by Ghost and Pals, is one of the main ROTD songs! You can see its influences in ch1 especially. So I already sort of associate them with ROTD, and Pathological Facade came out while I was writing it!

2- holds up the lyrics "a year ago I was told that I would be a miracle" "go on praise me like a god" “who will I become” and then holds up Kevin and Diana. There are a lot of songs on here that boil down to “im mentally ill over the cult” (there are also a lot of songs that boil down to “im mentally ill over the ships” but this isn’t one of them) and while this one doesn’t have… a lot of textual/lyrical evidence to back up why I always think about them when I listen to it, I certainly do always think about them.

Idk. I think it’s interesting to think about what, exactly, being raised the only child of a cult leader would entail. And, while I haven’t quite gotten to it textually (BUT CERTAINLY PLAN TO), Diana joined the cult when she was 16. Jim was in his mid-30’s, and I’m just saying. That Diana looking up to Jim like a father figure (especially in the absence of her ACTUAL father, another thing I plan to get to) for the first two decades or so until she becomes disillusioned with the cult ISN’T EXACTLY UNREALISTIC.

Diana and Kevin have more similarities than anyone thinks- including themselves. They just go about their similar issues in entirely different ways, obscuring that they both grew up in a deeply toxic and isolating environment, depending on a man who didn’t have their best interests at heart, where violence was normalized (dropped a hint about this in ch18) and, for several years, sudden upheaval was expected.

Diana rejected and resented all of it when she got older. Kevin made himself perfect for it. Part of this is because Diana remembers life before- Kevin never had that. But, now that Dan and Seán are in the picture…

3- Also! "seeing things that cannot be retold" Kevin’s journey to death and back and the realization that no one will quite ever get it completely! Dan comes pretty close, having been his companion for most of it, but he doesn’t get all of it because he isn’t privy to Kevin’s head and the environmental factors that contributed to some of the less savory decisions Kevin made.

And also! The general silence about the whole thing- both to protect Dan/Brian/Diana (and to a lesser extent, Gabriel) from people poking their heads into the death/afterlife business (although it doesn’t stop it, it certainly slows it and most note-worthy sources like newspapers and such think its a hoax/town joke/legend after a lil while, mostly because the trio won’t take any photos where they wouldn’t get all of the copies) and to prevent the murder from getting out to anyone who’d charge them for it (they don’t know if the law allows the trial of a dead man but they’re not keen on finding out)

4- it’s also just. Really fun to listen to. And this is as much a “listen to while writing ROTD” playlist as it is the playlist for ROTD. It has a silly lil sound at the end that I think sounds like the nintendo switch click that they use for ads :D

5- holds up more lyrics. “Let’s rejoin our family in the mirror world.” the “mirror world” can be death :D meaning “our family” can be Gabriel (and Grim if you want!)

6- holds up “Let’s rejoin our family in the mirror world” again. holds up my spinoff oneshot au-of-an-au that’s yet to be written. What. who said that. Huh.

#ROTD #:D this ended up uh #way longer than I thought it would!#I thought I didn't have many thoughts and then I DID.#this was supposed to have 3 bullet points #2 was supposed to be SHORT also #woe 600+ words of character introspection be upon ye

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karizipan · 2 years

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old asoryuu assortments

#I'm so sorry to eeaao for applying that line into my cringe #DO NOT PAY ATTENTION TO THE WRITING ON THE COMIC BTW #I do not convey the beats or line seperation properly mostly bc I was practicing... and I just improvised what to write OWHEIRJR #SO DO NOT LOOK!!!#oh fun little minigame idea guess which one of these were made before dgs slash tgaa 2 OWUWKRJTLGI #wanna talk abt the comic actually... I have a layer that's hidden that was umm supposed to be an intricate picture frame yeah #I had the idea of ryunosukes panel being in a more simple frame whereas kazumas was like those fancy painting frames #but I did not follow through on that!!!!#I have so many different tgaa introspectives in my notes and a lot of them I made w a comic format in mind... maybe one day I'll make them #rizdoodads #dgs #dgs spoilers #ALSO SHOUT OUT TO UTENA FOR THE SWORD POSE...#aceashbogado

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thegrimreaperisanerd · 8 months

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Latest chapter I'm writing is long enough to constitute as it's own two/ three part series... Why am I like this...

Anyway Kim and Harry trying to catch a Sequence Killer at a fair. It's already 12k but I kinda want to have them play some games now that they've got the guy. coconut shy, darts, they are so competitive they would happily burn through all of their wages doing that shit.

#ive already mentioned harry having a go on a 'test your strength' game and them both playing the game where you hook ducks on a long stick #because of course kims like 'we are literally trying to catch a killer lets focus' and harry's dragging him into sidequests (games)#DUCKLINGS THAT DROWN #i like that the harry chapters were supposed to be the pining/ kimharry introspection and my ass can literally NOT stop writing casefics #because i love plot SOOOOO much

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