mogi please!

MOGI + Realistic Headcanon:

He's one of those guys who takes very good care of his mother and his grandmothers and checks on them and visits them multiple times a month

MOGI + Not Necessarily Realistic, but Hilarious Headcanon:

He's actually got a higher IQ than both L and Light, but neither he nor anybody else actually knows that or notices it (seriously, HOW did he single-handedly and nonchalantly research every single doctor on earth for Light that one time??)

MOGI + Heartcrushing Headcanon:

The only thing that crushes my heart about Mogi is that Misa didn't appreciate his cooking skills nearly enough

MOGI + Disregarding Canon Headcanon:

Sometimes I like to imagine he is closeted and secretly gay, which I imagine wasn't Ohba's canon intention with him when making him the strong silent type

[headcanon ask meme]

the caller you have reached (chris evans x reader)

pairing: chris evans x fem!reader

summary: chris was trying to drunkenly call the woman he loved and wanted to get back with but instead he reaches you, a shrink.

warning: swearing (sailor level), brief mentions of mental health

**IMPORTANT disclaimer: I won't be dabbling into the hard hitting topics of mental health in this short only because I'm not a certified health professional and so I can't be providing a written, unbiased, often characterized diagnosis towards any sort of mental health disorder because really, those types of sensitivities need proper care and output. With that being said, I do want to emphasize the notions of seeking help and not being afraid to seek help when needed. It's hard, but we all fight a battle and no battle is big or small or better or worse.

If my followers or readers do feel the need to privately chat with me, I'm here and I can you lend you an ear. Otherwise let's be kind and uplift another while we can. No harm in doing good and being better, that's for sure!

-end rant-

This short is dedicated to the following lovelies:

@princess-evans-addict

@mrs-djokovic

@slut-for-chris-evans

@saltyflowermakertaco

@bitchyslut99

@patzammit

@itskikiyooo

@maximeevansblog

Being a working adult is dreadful but the work you do is the most fulfilling kind of anarchy. You are a therapist, you work to heal and you work together with people who willingly reach out to you and your facility of care. There is that balance, the altering nuances in between that allows you to do what you do best. You advocate for good prosperity of mental health and accolade of teachable moments that fosters a safe space for your clients, not patients, but the people who deserve to be heard and not be medically categorized.

Your salubrious passion keeps you grounded. In your lifetime, you've seen the imperial impacts of poor mental health and it has been a detrimental drive in how you retreat and give back to a small found community.

"Okay." You exhale to yourself while leafing through another client chart. You're working off the clock, stuck in the renaissance of your homey office space while the outside world turns pitch black.

In the appropriate fields you jot down important takeaways from your last sit in session with heavy concertation and reasoning, you try to congregate a treatment plan all before you cellphone cries for you in venturous fashion.

"Hello?" You answer without checking the caller ID, tucking the device between your ear and shoulder so that way you could work and talk.

"Jenny!" The man boisterously shouts. "Jenny baby please talk to me! Let me make it up to you, let's just do this right, please. I'm fucked up here."

"I'm sorry but you have the wrong number." You infringe sounding like the posh, automated answering machine lady.

"Oh what the fuck Jenny — oh cah'mon don't do that, don't be like that baby." You re-verify a local number and it doesn't belong to anyone you know of. So you wonder who this man is but choose not to press further instead you tell him what is right from the knowing wrong.

"I'm not Jenny."

"Seriously?" He yells, forcing you to hold the phone away from your ear. "That can't be... This is—" He recites the number that is similar to yours but the last two digits are off.

"You got 42, not 53." It's an easy mistake to recall, a swipe of a drunken thumb could've mixed that up, so this time around, you're forgiving. Not that it happens often.

"Oh no. That's—" The mystery man trails, something about his voice discerns you, it's familiar but in a hindbrain way that you can't put a finger on. "Fuuuuuuuck."

"Wait hold on, hold up, is this Jenny's assistant, Nina?" You exhale sharply sometimes it takes more than one try and a side of convincing to get your point across and your passiveness was certainly to blame.

"No I'm not her assistant either."

"Then who the hell are you?" He exasperates. You make the snide mistake of telling him your name and he buffers for a bit.

"Oh. So you really aren't anyone of my concern then?"

"No." You mildly retort. "I wouldn't want to be anyways."

"Okay well I'm not sorry then because I'm here trying to reach my girlfriend and I can't get to her because I have you on the line being a smartass." With that accent of his you can tell he's a patriotic Bostonian. One of your own kind and that furloughs your need to engage in this mindless drivel, it wouldn't get you or him anywhere. At least that's what you tell yourself before shutting him down.

"Well then maybe you should learn to listen first, how about that?" You snap, dropping your pen before you note down angry nonsense into your actual work.

"Hey nowwww!" He yells as if he's trying to be Hank Kinsley.

"It's clear that you're drunk."

He brushes you off on the other end, enigmatic in what he wants you to know. "This is Chris Evans, you're talking to Chris-motherfucking-Evans, you hear?"

"I do now." You say tersely.

"Good." He huffs. "Good... Cause you know I'm in the middle of bumfuck nowhere and this is what I get. This is what I seemingly deserve, god you women I swear..."

Your face changes. You don't agree to be a lending ear but somehow Chris forces you to hear him out.

"I told her Y/N. I TOLD her that I wasn't ready to take the next step but that doesn't mean that I don't want to be with her. And now she throws it back in my face by getting with some other guy she once dated back in high school. And somehow, I'm supposed to be ok with it and move on, as she tells me. How the hell am I supposed to do that, huh?"

"I, um, I don't know what to tell you." You sigh somberly.

"Of course you don't!" His Boston twang begins to nerve you as there some remitting frequency of it. Hearing him obnoxiously go off, reminds you of all your shrewd New England exes who were his exact counterpart when soused. A ludicrous memory that you relive again with time and perfect harmony.

"Listen lady all I'm saying is that I fucked up. I know I did alright? I mean it doesn't take much denominational math and the plot of Lost in Translation to get that. I get it!"

Jesus. You whisper the lords name in vain as you lean your forehead against the palm of your hand while your elbow rested on top of the desk.

"So, let me get this straight, you think yelling at a random woman will help get further?" You question a little acutely for his liking.

"I don't know but it sure as hell takes off the heat, sweetheart." Something about a man calling you sweetheart grinds your gears and now your molars.

"Okay, alright, let's talk." You begin, sitting up a bit and tearing out a blank page from your memo pad; you were doing a late night consultation, a small hash out.

"Schuwaaaaa." Chris enunciates the word sure and to much of his mayhem, he’s sprawled out on the curbside, somewhere in the nowhere land of L.A. He contented but also upset and you were simply crashing his little pity party.

"What is it that you want from Jenny?" You professionally prod. "How about we start there."

"Wooooah, what is that we're doing here?” Chris gets mildly defensive with you. “I dunno you like that. If we're gonna talk then you'll have to get through my publicist first because right now I plead the fifth.”

You exhale a deep and fulsome breath. No one troubles you like him. It's sanctimoniously unnerving.

"I'm a shrink, my job isn’t meant to incriminate my clients well-being, or anyone else’s for that matter.” You address calmly. “So, if you do require some solicited advice then we can keep this call under strict confidence. You have my word, Mr. Evans and the paperwork that will follow shortly after this call.”

Silence. There is some shocking silence which is brief before you're catapulted with disbelief and more cackles. "Holy mother fucking shit. You're kidding me?"

"I can run you by my credentials if you’d like?” You mention stiffly.

"God I’ve reached a cuckoo hotline!" Wrong. That's a horrible thing to say and you'd think a man like him would've been more sensitive about his choice of words, inebriated or not.

"Far from it."

"Tell me something, alright? How many grown, adult men come crying to you?" Chris is edging with curiosity even though his eyes are betrayingly reddened after crying into a bottle of Dewars 18. He doesn't make that known to you and you never cared to ask.

"Enough to know that they cry." You simply state.

"Huh. So this is just another Tuesday for you then.” Chris scoff, the bottle making it to his lips and then swishing back down again.

"Comes with the territory except I don't tolerate drunkenness." You motely add. "Can you keep the bottle aside for the time being? Just until we're done here."

"That's understandable and oh yeah sure, sure, I won't touch it." You can hear the glass bottle 'clink' when coming into contact with the pavement.

"Now tell me about Jenny." You softly inquire.

"What do you wanna know? How we fuck or how we met?" Chris giggles like a naughty school yard boy.

"How did you two meet?" You slam the words urgently, nearly spelling out the cause.

"Oh! Oh. We met on the job." Chris chuckles punitively.

"Okay and did you guys connect instantly or was there a slow build up?" You involuntarily took notes for any PR rep of his that wanted solid evidence that would preside this call, cover your bases and your poor ass along with it.

"Instantly. Our chemistry read was off the charts." He explains with a slight hiccup. "Sorry."

"Great. So it was more so a work relationship that later grew into something more correct?"

"Pretty much."

"So when did you start developing feelings for her?"

"Um I'd say..." Chris tucks his chin, burps and then excuses himself before continuing. "Just before we wrapped up filming. But then I think somewhere in between all that I realized that she was my kind of girl, my... better half."

"And what made you come to that realization?"

"Well for one she has this infectious laugh that would have you laughing with her, there's that sound of beauty and pureness to it. And then with that, there were all the little things she'd do for me that made me think, like damn she's the one, she's it for me and that for better or for worse, I'd need her more than she'd ever need me."

Chris gets sad and you feel for him. Your pen stops moving when you were about to prescribe him some mind memory exercises. He was human. Humans hurt. Humans make mistakes. Humans stray but they also love. That's all Chris did. He loved with all of his heart to not expect the same love in return.

"You know Chris, we don't always get the love we deserve and sometimes its sucks. Sometimes you wanna kick it back with a bottle of Dewars 18 and shake your fists in the air." Chris quietly perks up at your choice of alcohol that you didn't know he was forcefully downing. He fashions a small half smile that you don't see but hear faintly. "But there's also a time and a place and things happen, people come apart, people get together, people do people and there's that fine line of letting life run its uneven course."

"I mean you sometimes have to not be okay to be okay again and I know that from my many years of helpful healing. It gets okay, never fully better and I think that's just how it is. You acknowledge your pain, your trauma and then you go on while being mindful of that transition."

"Wow."

"Hey, um, look, I actually have to get going. But if you can, just down the rest of that bottle and get yourself home."

"Are you sure?" Chris gawks.

"I mean you were already halfway through and it's not like I can physically stop you, right? And besides this is what I'm prescribing to you. I want you to acknowledge your pain, drink away your sorrows and then smash that bottle so you can be relieved from that trauma and hurt. After that you need to fix up and start new, have a mature conversation with her, if you can and then have your feet hitting the ground again. Don't fall into the routine of heartbreak even if it becomes too hard, you hear me?"

"Loud and clear."

"Good." You sniff and start to put things away. "I know you're a good guy Chris, from how you are on TV and in interviews, I'm amazed by how articulate you are. You have the right mindset so I have no doubts that you'll fall back in any way. But if you do, please don't hesitate to reach out, I might have to hand you off to another cohort but nonetheless it can be worked out even if it does feel like you might be sparring on your own. You'll get the help you need."

"Great, thanks." Chris responds in his conscious state of thought. He feels pathetic with himself and that doesn't have you galling over the fact, instead you let him be.

"Do you need me to order you an Uber? Cab? Call a friend for ya?" You laugh easily and Chris hears it clearly, smiling in return.

"An Uber would be nice. I'll try to share you my location."

"Sure, on me and that'd be great."

"Thanks."

"No problem... And your ride should be here in two minutes, just look out for Raul in black Elantra." You inform him after checking your phone.

"Nice."

"You have a goodnight now Chris."

"You too." The line cuts and you're given a piece of your life back. You gather your belongings, flip off the light switch and make your way home. There's some truth and some brokenness in every situation. You knew Chris was going to be OK even if he didn't consult you afterwards. For you, there was no need. He's a smart man and he proves this over a prolonged period of time when he finally finds himself back on the market and then eventually in a relationship with a faceless and very loving woman from his own hometown.

He was finally happy, making you serendipitously glad that you were the caller he had reached.

Chongyun x Xingqiu headcanons!

Headcanons under cut there will be NSFW mentioned!

- They've known each other since childhood, they met one day in kindergarten, nobody was talking to Chongyun since he was the loner kid. Xingqiu was the polar opposite. So, Xingqiu befriended him and the rest is history

-While Xingqiu's parents know he's gay, they put him into an arranged marriage with a girl from a stronger clan in hopes of that helping restore the clan

-When that happened, Xingqiu ran to Chongyun's house (in tears) and they ended up cuddling because that's what calms Xingqiu down, he likes knowing those he care for are safe.

-Sometimes Xingqiu laces his lips with chili powder so when he kisses Chongyun, it'll be spicy (no pun intended)

-But, Chongyun actually likes it better and he doesn't even know its chili powder

-With his boyfriend being an author, Chongyun bought an empty book and on title it just said, 'Memories' and on the back it described a gay romance type of story

-Xingqiu was oblivious and thought it was a normal book till he opened it and saw it was actually a love confession and Chongyun wanted to put photos of their memories in there

-Xingqiu is super affectionate and loves PDA, he will carry Chongyun around, spin him, French kiss him, the whole nine yards

-On a NSFW note, Chongyun loves Xingqiu's outfit. It gives him easy access to the mans boxers, which means for quick removal and good sex

-Xingqiu tries to top but he loves Chongyun giving him blowjobs so he doesn't often.

-Back to normal headcanons for a while, Chongyun loves blueberry flavored anything. So Xingqiu goes out of his way to buy the whole stock of blueberry ice creams and popsicles whenever he goes to the store

-Whenever they spare, Xingqiu normally wins because he's quick and smaller then Chongyun. So, whenever they do, Xingqiu grabs Chongyun and pulls him into a kiss, he wins instantly.

-Xingqiu loved Warrior cats as a kid sametho his favorite character was Tawnypelt, he likes strong female characters in books. Chongyun knows so much about the books without reading them cause Xingqiu loves talking about them

-In the summer, they travel to Inazuma. The stars that come into Chongyun's eyes when he sees food and the snow could give Xingqiu a heart attack

-Xingqiu is 100% that one boyfriend who calls Chongyun his ex best friend and Chongyun has to correct him every time

-When they got together Chongyun was that one meme, "Here's a book of our wedding I've been planning since 3rd grade. I hope you like popsicles"

This happened:

Chongyun's mom: "Fuck the rich"

Chongyun: "Yeah fuck the rich!"

2 minutes later, Chongyun: "Guess who I hooked up with?" Chongyun's mom: "Who?"

Chongyun: "Xingqiu!"

Chongyun's mom: "WHAT"

Chongyun: "You said fuck the ri- You didn't mean literally?"

Chongyun's mom: "NO!"

-------

-As I mentioned above with the arranged marriage, at the 'wedding' Chongyun sat there pissed

-When the priest said, "Speak now or forever hold your peace", Chongyun jumped up, ran to the alter and pulled Xingqiu in for a kiss

-It took a bit to explain but after an argument Xingqiu's parents let him be

-Xingqiu's parents are homophobic, not on purpose they just don't know. But when its something that may be downgrading to someone like Chongyun, Xingqiu goes OFF

-After all that happening Xingqiu stays with Chongyun more and finds him self abandoning his duties as the 2nd heir to the Guhua clan, he doesn't mean to, he just doesn't feel safe or happy there

-Once, Xingqiu wore a maid dress and started humping Chongyun's leg while he was trying to work on paperwork. Lets just say he was on the bed and undressed within 2 seconds

-Once, they were snowed in for about 2 weeks, at the time Chongyun's hair was getting long, Xingqiu and him were practically stuck in bed because Xingqiu wouldn't stop running his fingers in his hair and burying his head in it

-Speaking of hair, if you play with Xingqiu's hair he will get tired, its just super relaxing to him, this helps when Chongyun needs to calm down, he thinks Xingqiu's tired face is cute

Whenever Xingqiu eats a popsicle the only thought in Chongyun's mind is, "I wish I was that popsicle.."

Xingqiu is dyslexic, in the reading field to be exact. He can do math perfectly and is good in that field, as long as the answers don't run together.

-So when he has to do paper work, Chongyun's there if he needs help incase Xingqiu misses something or gets pissed that he doesn't understand something

-Once instead of putting chili powder on his lips Xingqiu put chili powder on his tongue and in his mouth, so during a make out session Chongyun was red hot and it was amazing

-Chongyun has a cat allergy but, since Xingqiu LOVES cats, he will put up with runny eyes and sneezing to see Xingqiu super happy and adorable with a fur baby

-Xingqiu bought Chongyun the hoodie he wears

-If they got married, Xingqiu would go all out with it, he would have a large ass cake (looks like this):

-And he would wear a dress that would look like this +veil:

-the veil:

-Chongyun would be all blushy when he saw it because he would think he didn't look good enough. But it was one of the happiest days of their lives so, it was perfectly fine.

-Xingqiu loves expensive dates, but since Chongyun likes just simple walks in the park and watching Netflix on the couch, Xingqiu keeps the pricey dates for valentines, whites day, etc.

-Their birthdays were simple, Chongyun would get him some books and Xingqiu would get him a stores worth of ice cream, Xingqiu would also get him a book on how to hunt evil spirits.

- I also think they would have a Tweek and Craig (south park) relationship ;w;

------------

Well that's it! Hope yall enjoyed :D

Match up! (◠‿◠✿)

hiya!! can i pls get a matchup for ikesen, if its ok? 💞

bi girl i prefer guys! ambiverted intp, gryffindor, n true neutral. i have an older twin sis n i love/hate her sm lmao!!

i have medium-length straight-ish black hair (w/ a side bang to the right) & dark brown eyes!! im 5'5-ish, fun fact: im a filipina!

sooo im a complex daydreamer!! i NEED attention/affirmation or ill feel unwanted/sad. emotional scorpio, im quite sensitive. anxiety, i overthink too much! quiet w/ people im not close w/. easily annoyed but guilty after ‘cause im soft-hearted. im like half funny/playful/kind & half deep/mature/awkward- hopeless romantic! i have a way w/ words, sorta poetic? i wanna be the best! sorta socially anxious, i have a fear of judgement. im not innocent but ppl think i am at first. i look fine but deep down im a big mess. rlly smart & knowledgable. vv passionate, big nerd actually! im like a kid w/ my twin but w/ others im more mature. im the type to do fun stuff and loosen up but would also just cuddle and have long convos. im vv good w/ technology! very imaginative, i come up with stories a lot- around others im very quiet because i literally have no idea what to say. actually a big history fanatic, hehe. i act confident but im not rlly, actually vv insecure and i regret a lot of things.

a habit of mine is that i tend to drift away and just… think? i also tend to care a lot abt my appearance! i get competative but there are also times when im just chill. i get vv embarrassed when i lose control tho n i regret it sm :(( i have loads of trouble asking for help even if i like to help others a lot! i like being organised but i tend to be… chaotic.

hsjsh- fun fact: there are times where im just,, super hyper n say the weirdest things? im good in school but,, im lazy yknow- i love math (surprisingly, i got a natural talent?), science (esp abt stars n space), history, and english (actually my 2nd languange but im very fluent) the most. bilingual but im also learnin french! wanna learn latin too tho but id break down- i have the fear of the unknown, failure, n loneliness! im scared of the future cause its beyond human ability to know,, the only guys ive rlly talked to r family members so my awkwardness goes 100x hsjsjs

oh, i rlly love affection, but i need a lot of space too, tho! girls gotta have privacy- games r a hUge part of my life, so is technology and the modern era! i actually like sports too- not very good at em tho :((

some likes: gaming, jokes (esp corny/stupid/puns), space, stars, weapons (esp swords/guns), philosophy, psychology, testing myself, affection, animals, doing exhilirating things, music, movies, books, writing, astrology, astronomy, learning new things, & mythology.

some dislikes: too much heat, school presentations, creepy dolls, being under pressure, dirty things, blind faith, & annoying people.

tysm! omg i hope this isnt too long- i think this is too long?? yIkes i hope that this is ok!! love ur writing btw! stay safe 💞

Hi hi love! thank you so much for the request! You sound like a wonderful person and omw it soooo cool that you have a twin! I actually think she sent in a request right after you did lol! Anyways sorry for making you wait sooooo long and i hope you enjoy it! @x-joie-x

 So i match you with...................... Mitsuhide

The first time you meet this sneki boy, you were quiet and reserved. War council had just ended and you were named as a princess of the Oda forces. You were super socially awkward, and anxiety was slowly starting to creep in, as the curious warlords started to surround you. It wasn’t until Mitsuhide had pulled you away in a teasing manner to save you from the crowd that you finally started to calm down. He had noticed this new little mouse had been on edge since arriving. However, he didn’t suspect you of being an assassin or spy as, during the whole council, your hands shook, and you could barely speak up against Nobunaga’s demanding and commanding tones. 

Mitsuhide had found you incredibly amusing from the first moment you walked in, you caught this foxes eye. He didn’t know if it was the innocence or naïve purity that just seemed to radiate from you, but for some reason when he was looking at you, he found that he simply couldn’t look away.

It took all of one day for all the warlords to officially drop all suspicions of you. You were just such a sweetheart how could they not instantly love you and feel the need to protect you. You had started helping a few of the maids that first morning after you were named princess. You didn’t want to be a freeloader, so you worked hard to earn your keep and soon, the maids were fighting over who would get to work with you cause all of then just loved and adored you so much. 

You got annoyed with Hideyoshi when he first found you helping the maids, as he was 100% started micromanaging you. You lost you cool and raised your voice at him, TBH Hideyoshi didn’t think anything of it, but it wasn’t until you had pitched up at his manor an hour later to apologize for being so rude to him that he realized what a sweet and sensitive person you truly were. Of course from that moment onward you had gained yourself a big doting brother.

All the Oda forces agreed that you were too sweet and naïve for your own good, so Mitsuhude was assigned to give you princess lesson to prepare you for your new life as Oda princess. You were super excited when Mitsuhide had told you that he was going to teach you a variety topics such as economics, politics, history and self-defence. You even managed to impress the sneki boy, by getting all the questions correct on the first test he had handed you. You had found that first test incredibly easy as you were a bit of a history buff, and all the questions had been based on Nobunaga’s history. This low key shook the sliver kitsune a little bit, as this proved that not only were you pure and naive but you were also super smart. You kind of reminded him a little bit of Mitsunari, a cleaver professor with their head in the clouds. 

Mitushide praised you for your ability to pick up on concepts quickly and work diligently as a student, “I dare say little one, you are the best student a teacher could ask for.” You spend masses amount of time with sneki boi, and through that time you realized just how sweet Mitsuhide truly was, although he was a massive tease leaving you a blushy mess almost every day after lessons with his teasing comments. And naturally, the more time Mitsuhide had spent with you, the more in love he fell. It was also noted by the fellow warlords that, Mitsuhide always wore a soft gentle expression when it came to you, and in your experience he had been a kind gentle patient teacher. SO naturally you found yourself more and more drawn to this mysterious man.

Through all the time spent with the kitsune, you found yourself opening up more and more. He was one of the few people that got to see your playful side. You now would make the puniest, corniest jokes he has ever heard, leaving this kitsune in a fit of laughter mid-way through a lecture. Not only that, but he loved loved loved your competitiveness side. 

This side of you slowly started to surface after the 3rd or 4th self-defence lesson when you started challenging the kitsune to rematches whenever he would pin you down, ultimately beating you in your little makeshift sword fight. Boy oh boy, don’t even get me started on the shooting lessons, once you were able to fire the rifle, you were straight-up challenging this boy, the best marksmen around to a shoot-off. “Come on Mitsuhide, the first one to get 100 bulls-eyes in a row wins, and the loser has to buy tea.” Needless to say, you always lost and even though every day you would make that exact bet, Mitsuhide would always insist on sticking you for tea and lunch as reward for being such a good student. 

He really enjoyed spending time with you and would absolutely insist on holding your hands whenever the two of you were on your way to the tea house together after your lessons. “I can’t have my clumsy little mouse tripping and falling now can I.” Every day without fail, he would say that to you as he wraps his big hand around your small one, while leading you to your favourite tea house.

The two of you would talk about everything and anything over tea, these topics ranged from you making stupid jokes, to talking about random topics such as philosophy and psychology. Either way, Mitsuhide loved to spend time with you. He would always listen to and hang on to every word you said, storing every word in his memory. 

You were his precious little mouse, and he knew you were an extremely sensitive creature. If anyone dared say a single bad word to you or make you sad, they would face the wrath of this very protective kitsune. Like one time, one of the visiting daimyos had talked down to you for accidentally bumped into him. You were busy cleaning the windows when you accidentally lost your balance and bumped into him. He was so disgusted that a mere maid had touched him. He started yelling at you and insulting you, this escalated to such a point that he even had his hand raised ready to hit you for getting dirty window water on his shoes. That’s when sneki boi decided to intervene. Mitsuhide legit stood protectively in front of you with his rifle pointed at the man’s heart, with the full intention to shoot. “Golly me it appears like you are quite the troublesome little mouse, my dear.” He then turned his sharp gaze towards the daimyo “I do suggest you apologize to the Oda princess, lest you want to answer for your crimes directly to Nobunaga.” The man simply scoffed and walked away. Mitsuhide then turned to you and enveloped you in a warm hug while kissing the top of your head, “Are you alright, my dear little mouse?” Mitsuhide looked into your beautiful eyes and gently took your hands in his, “Come little one, I have something I wish to show you.”

The two of you walked hand in hand to Mitsuhide’s manor, Mitsuhide led you out into his garden, where you saw something so beautiful you could cry. The garden was filled with flowers and candles and in the centre was a table set up, with a feast laid out op top of it. 

Mitsihide had told you that night that he was hopelessly in love with you. He was overjoyed when he had discovered that you like him, was also a hopeless romantic and that you had an incredibly poetic, romantic way with words. You handed him a letter in which you had expressed your feelings for him in the form of a beautifully written poem. You were actually intending to leave the poem on his desk as a way of confessing your feelings. This instantly melted sneki bois heart into a giant puddle and he couldn’t help but pull you in for a sweet kiss. 

After diner Mitsuhide had led you deeper into the garden where a fluffy blankie was sprawled out on the grass, he guided you to sit down and the motioned for you to lookup. Above you, a thousand stares were shooting across the sky in a big meteor shower. Mitsuhide pulled you into his arms and kissed your cheeks as the two of you watched the sky. He always remembered every detail you had told him about yourself, so when you revealed that you loved the sky and the stars, he knew he had to incorporate this rare meteor shower in your date somehow. 

This had sparked a new tradition between the two of you, to stargaze and spend the whole night in deep conversation. These nights were full of love and affection as Mitsuhide would pull you into his lap and just hold you there for hours and hours as the two of you talked and watched the sky

Of course sneki boi also had a bit of a spontaneous side, and would take you on exhilarating trips around Nobunaga’s territories. They were mostly missions but after you had nagged Nobunaga to give you permission to go along on the missions, you and Mitsuhide would finish the official work asap so that the two of you cuties had plenty of time to enjoy yourself in the new environment.

Mitsuhide loves everything about you from your slight messiness, to your love of learning new things. He also knows that his sweet little mouse sometimes needs some space and alone time and will be sure to give you as much alone time as you need to recharge. He knows that you will seek him out when you have had enough of your own company. He will always welcome you back with outstretched arms when you have had enough alone time, and shower you with endless amounts of affection.

Whenever you are feeling insecure or worrying about the future Mitsuhide is right there by your side, whispering words of affection and reassurance in your ears. He makes sure to remind you every day just how perfect you are and just how much he loves you. 

Often you can be found in sneki boys lap with your head resting comfortably in the crook of his neck as he soothingly strokes your hair. Don’t be surprised if this sneaky kitsune drops a few kissed on your nose, cheeks or lips during these quiet and peaceful moments, just as a way to convey how much he loves and adores you.

Other potential matches……………..Masamune 

I hope you enjoyed it dear and i hope you have the best day! 

🌿 SUBCONSCIOUS CONFESSION | CHA JUNHO

pairing: cha junho + female reader

genre: fluff

word count: 1.6k words

a/n: this is a short one-shot because this plot just won't leave my mind and maybe i'm becoming too whipped for junho. also, this is actually a one-shot with an original character but changed the name of the character to Y/n. i hope i didn't miss anything haha. idk i just can't write a fic/drabble/one-shot properly if i use y/n... so excuse me. sorry if there are grammatical errors and typos. enjoy! thought of this after rewatching stark where junho showed a sample of his self-talk haha. i miss x1. :(

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ☆

With the classes ending, Y/n picked up all her things, placing it to her backpack. Maybe the school classes had ended, but there were still extra classes she had to attend. Private classes for Math and English. Even it takes away good four hours to her supposed to be resting time or the common hang out time with friends, she had never found herself complaining.

The sun was still up, soft beams gracing her skin as she walked towards the gate of her school. It was only 3 o’clock in the afternoon anyway. A sudden gush of spring breeze made her body tremble, her brown sweater inadequate to protect her from the cool air.

Few friends were with her, discussing where to go to get a few minutes to relax before their own private classes. Apparently, she’d be unable to join them today as well.

“Y/n still have an hour before her class starts, yet she will still not spare us any minute,” one of her friends said, pouting. They got used to her declining offers to hang out.

“Well, you know that she’s always excited to go to her private classes because of a cute classmate of her,” another teased.

A smile spread across her lips at the indirect mention, a soft flush covering her cheeks. Y/n didn’t give them much reply, already acknowledging defeat. It wasn’t like they were uttering lies. You know, it was too correct to be countered.  “Next time, give a better offer. Sitting next to Junho is much better than drinking milk tea.”

Parting with her friends, she continued to walk the path leading to her academy while her friends who had settled to go to a cat café went the other way. Fortunately, the academy was only a few blocks away from her actual school. A short walk was always enough for her to make it right on time.

The academy itself wasn’t too big. It is sitting above a stationery shop.

Exchanging greetings with the worker in charge, she shuffled towards the stairs. The hallway was narrow, yet wide enough to allow a group of four to walk side by side. The walls of each room were made of heavily tinted glasses on both sides. Only the door would give you a blurred view of who is already inside the room.

As usual, Y/n took a glance off the door first before stepping inside. Her gaze easily landed on the young man sitting on his favorite seat, the one next to the windows. There weren’t many views highlighted by that framed aperture, merely the top view of the now blooming cherry blossoms and vehicles passing by. Nonetheless, it was a good seat for Junho. And the seat beside him was the seat Y/n had claimed to be the perfect seat for her.

“Junho!” A short wave and a radiant smile were offered to the male. It was reciprocated, but not as vibrant as Y/n could give. She pulled the chair beside the male and placed her notebook on the table. Math class before English. “You’re here pretty early.”

“And so are you,” Junho replied briefly, scooting away to give her more space. He had always wondered why she would take that seat when there were a lot of other vacant seats in the room. Arriving early would give a student the privilege to choose among the fifteen seats each room has. There is a row of five individual seats on the left side and a row of five long tables with two chairs on the right. He would choose an individual seat if it is only capable of giving him a view the window could give. Spacing out while staring at the wall didn’t look so good. It doesn't offer much of a scenery.

“Well, I want to be able to browse our previous lessons before our tutor gets in.” It was just a lame excuse for her to enjoy a short time alone with the other. She opened her notebook and scanned the notes. A pen was on her hand, trying to go through the same equations and solving it once again.

As minutes passed by, the other chairs were occupied by other students. Y/n was rather too absorbed with an algebraic equation that she wasn’t able to greet the few friends she made in the class.

A frown was on her face as she answered some of the problems. She was sure she understood the lesson very well last night, but it seemed like what she learned yesterday faded along the night. New day, new brain.

“…too cute.”

That was enough for her to turn her head to her seatmate, catching him staring at her with his head resting on his palm.

“You said something?” It immediately pulled the male out of his daze.

“Ah-” Junho’s mouth opened to say something, but no words left his lips, any possible word stuck on his throat. Taken aback, he straightened his composure and averted his gaze to the whiteboard. “Don’t mind me.”

“You sure?”

“Yes…” he trailed, biting his lower lip to find some sort of relief. His subconscious sure is skilled with controlling him, allowing a bunch of words to leave his lips—to think of something and allow it to be heard without him being aware of it. And now, it had placed him to such an embarrassing situation. “…just talking to myself. Ignore me.”

The nervousness showed by the way Junho swallowed a lump; his adam’s apple bobbing while a pink tint painted his cheek was such a fascinating view. It wasn’t the first time Y/n heard him utter something out of the blue. But it was the first time his words had clung to her, enough for her to give him much attention.

Y/n had always found Junho’s self-talk adorable.

But just now, it was altered. A Junho caught being in a daze and uttering something subconsciously was far more adorable.

The next days, there were no subconscious mumbles from Junho. As much as possible, he was trying to keep himself occupied. It was his way to avoid such kind of situation from occurring again. Needless to say, it felt awkward.

Junho wasn’t really the type to talk a lot with his classmates, at least not in this academy. Though he wasn’t that much of a snob. He will entertain conversations as long as someone initiates it. Most allowed him to just be inside his bubble, not popping it with unnecessary conversations.

With his voice rarely heard in the class, Y/n had always found the short exchanges they had and few unaware mumbles something valuable. She wasn’t too oblivious to not notice how he was suppressing himself from that dazed talks, so Y/n's solution? Wear earphones right after they greet each other. No music was playing though, but she’d hum to a song or move her head every now and then just to complete the act.

Somehow, it managed to make Junho comfortable with his occasional spacing out again. Few sentences would be heard from him. His soft voice embracing the words and questions he’d ask himself. The way he’d ask himself what to eat after the classes, where should he go this weekend, what book to read next or the short commentaries about how the weather was nice that day or how his friends were so into practicing dances the past days—all could successfully cast a spell to Y/n, instantly making a beam decorate her brim.

That day, a short quiz for English will come after their Math class. Y/n had her notebook open on the vocabulary words about irregular verbs. Earphones plugged in without any sound playing in the background, eyes focused on the words messily scribbled on her notes. She would read the words in an almost inaudible voice, enough to satisfy herself.

“You know you’re actually cute.” A sigh left Junho’s lips and Y/n tried so hard to simply shrug it off. But it was difficult not to. Not when Junho resumed to his subconscious talking. “Ah, it takes too much effort to not look at you. I can’t believe that I’m starting to adore you too much for my liking.” Another exhale and Y/n wasn’t able to hold himself after his final sentence. “You’re not hearing me anyway—”

“What?” Shooting him a perplexed look, the same baffled expression was given to her. He was once again staring at her with head resting on his palm. At this point, Junho wasn’t the one to have the pink tint spreading on his cheeks. Y/n was the one blushing.

“What?” A strong denial of the words he’d be unable to take back came to Junho. But the way his eyes widened in surprise wasn't able to cover it up that much.

“You said something.”

Junho shook his head. “No, I didn’t.”

“You said that I’m cute.” What he said registered so well in her mind that she was able to say almost everything that he said. “That it takes a lot of effort to not look at me and that—”

“—I adore you too much for my liking.” There was no point in denying anyway, so Junho finished her sentence. “Okay, okay. But don’t look at me like that…” Abashed, he shifted his gaze, heart racing as much as Y/n’s was.

“Ah, can’t believe I confessed this way,” Junho added, another sigh emitted out of his lips. A frustrated groan left his lips, something Y/n found rather too adorable. It was another action that sure had made to the top of the list of cute things that Junho does.

“Likewise.” The male frowned at her words and all she could do was smile before saying, “I adore you as well, Junho.”

Girls Like You Part Two

Masterlist

Previous Part

Warnings: smut and some angst

Word Count: 1,857

Song- Unholy // Hey Violet

A/N- (yes, you're reading this right. yes I’m actually posting a fic and yes it’s hamilton again.)

You reached down between your legs, grabbing a fistful of Philip’s hair with one hand. He paused to smirk at you before returning to work. You looked like a mess. Your hair was sticking to your face, which was flushed red just like your chest. Your inner thighs and ass were red too, but that was from Philip’s harsh hands rather than the arousal. Your hips involuntarily rocked up and down, pushing harder against Philip’s tongue. His hands reached up to grab your breasts. You were propping yourself up against the desk in his office. Ungraded math tests were scattered everywhere. Philip was on his knees in front of you. Now that his hands were on your chest and not your thighs, your legs pressed together against his head. His tongue flicked at your clit at the same pace that he thumbed your nipples.

“Oh, Philip,” You moaned. “Philip, Philip, Philip.”

He smiled, hearing you gasp his name. Your hands pulled at his hair. He traced every curve of your body as he brought you closer and closer to the edge. Just as your breathing became more ragged and your legs began to shake, the door to Philip’s office burst open. Dean Wilmont was standing in the doorway.

Philip gasped loudly, sitting up in bed. He propped himself up on two hands and stared into the darkness, breathing heavily. “It was just a dream,” he reassured himself out loud. Nobody knew about him and Y/N. He wouldn’t be fired. Philip reached over to grab the water bottle that he kept on his bedside table. He took a long sip, feeling parched and hot after what his sleeping mind had just displayed to him.

Rubbing his hands over his face, Philip laid back down to go to sleep, but one thing was still keeping him awake. He reached a hand down to his thigh and adjusted his underwear to a position more comfortable for the erection pushing against the fabric. It was aching to be touched, stroked, stimulated, but Philip refused. He would not masturbate to the thought of one of his students. Even if she was a very attractive student. One who was interested in him too. One who he had already slept with once.

His mind wandered to that night in his office. The moment Y/N kissed him, he knew he couldn’t resist. He remembered how it felt to hold her against himself. How she moaned in his ear and left scratches on his back.

Philip’s cock twitched in his pants. He sighed in frustration. He needed to stop thinking about this or he was gonna have a serious problem. No matter how hard he tried, though, his mind kept wandering, and so did his hand. Philip knew it was wrong, but he had already crossed the line. Who was here to tell him he couldn’t fantasize about it a little more? His hand slid underneath the waistband of his boxers as he started to picture all the things he and Y/N could do.

~

You tapped the pencil against your desk rapidly. You and Philip hadn’t talked in weeks. You understood it being kind of awkward, but this was like he was ghosting you. You glared hard at him as taught the room about trigonometric integration. He was standing as far as he possibly could from your seat without making it look like he was avoiding you. Something poked in you in the shoulder. You looked over and saw Jenna looking at you with a confused face.

“You okay?” she whispered. “You’re staring at Professor Hamilton like you’re gonna kill him.”

You realized how tightly you were clenching your jaw and let yourself relax a bit. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just...thinking about an annoying customer at work.”

Jenna nodded knowingly. “Tyler tells me about those people all the time.” She looked back towards the center of the room where Philip was writing on the board. He turned around and asked a question. The answer was easy, and you totally knew it already. You looked around the room and no one else was raising their hand to give it. You smirked and raised your hand high in the air. He would have to notice now.

Philip’s eyes traveled around the room, purposefully avoiding the section you were seated in. You cleared your throat loudly and a few eyes snapped towards you, including Philip’s.

“Um, yes. Y/N.”

“The answer is one-sixth sine to the sixth x plus c,” you said with a smirk. Philip’s eyes locked with yours, and you thought he might falter, but instead, he met your gaze just as easily.

“That’s correct. Good job, Y/N,” he said before turning back to the board. Now you were the one feeling flustered, and angry. How dare he avoid you completely and then suddenly act like everything’s normal.

After a few more minutes, Philip excused the class. You stayed in your seat while everyone filed out. Philip had his back turned to you. He was erasing all the work on the board, and he hadn’t noticed you yet.

“Are you avoiding me?” you asked loudly.

Philip jumped and dropped the eraser. “Jesus fucking christ Y/N. You scared me.”

“You didn’t answer the question.” You stayed in your seat, keeping your distance from him. “Are you avoiding me?”

Philip looked up at you. You were the only two in the room. Philip glanced at the store. “No, of course not, Y/N.” He said with a smile.

You crossed your arms against your chest and glared at him. Eventually, he sighed in defeat and walked up to your seat.

“We can’t talk about this here,” he whispered.

“I’m your TA. Nobody will care if you talk to me after class.”

“I mean, we can’t talk about this here,” he said in an even quieter voice.

“Are you avoiding me?” You repeated at a normal volume.

“Yes! Is that what you wanted to hear?” he said, frustrated.

“I knew it! Why? I know it’s a little awkward, but you can’t just have se-”  Philip clamped his hand over your mouth, and glanced at the door again. You were taken aback. Philip’s eyes met yours, and you could see fire in his gaze.

“I said, we can’t talk about this here,” he whispered commandingly. You had never seen Philip angry before. It kind of turned you on.

“Okay,” you whispered when he pulled his hand away. “Your office then.”

A look flashed across Philip’s face. “No. Not there either.”

“Then where?”

Philip thought for a moment. “Put your number in my phone,” he grabbed his phone from his pocket, unlocked it, and handed it to you. You opened up a new contact form and typed in your name and number before handing it back to him. “Okay. I’ll text you later.”

“No!”

“Excuse me?”

“No!” You reached for your own phone. “If you just take my number and I don’t have yours, you’ll just never text me and keep avoiding me. I need your number too. For...insurance.”

Philip smirked and took your phone. “Have a little faith in me,” he said as he typed in his number in.

You started to gather up your things. “Forgive me if I don’t after the past few weeks.”

“I promise I will text you later.” Philip handed your phone back to you.

“You better.”

~

You waited anxiously by your phone all night. When Philip finally did text you, you were unexplainably giddy.

Is now a good time to talk?

You quickly replied.

Yes

I’m sorry I avoided you.

It’s ok. I understand why but it was pretty annoying

I know. I’m sorry.

Can I call you? If we can’t talk in person I at least want to talk on the phone

Philip took a while to respond but eventually your phone vibrated in your hand.

Sure

Your emotions were a strong mix of fear and excitement as you clicked the little phone icon next to Philip’s name. He picked up almost instantly.

“Hello?”

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

Silence passed between you two. You’d wanted to have this conversation since the night you slept with Philip, but now you had no idea what to say.

“So, um. We messed up.” You hated that he described like that. You were a “mess up” for him. Just a mistake.

“Yeah. I guess.”

“That can never happen again.”

You sighed. It was what you had expected, but not really what you wanted. “Philip, I don’t think I can act normal and just pretend this never happened.”

“I know.”

“I can’t control myself around you.”

Philip let out a surprised noise but quickly regained composure. “I understand. Me either, but still. Never again.”

You said nothing in response.

“What?”  Philip asked.

“I just…”

“What Y/N? Are you okay?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“Why not what?”

“Why it can’t happen again.”

There was a long pause on the other line. “I could lose my job.”

“Only if we get caught.”

“It’s too risky! Not just for me, for you too! It would be bad for both of us if somebody found out.”

“ Then no one will find out! We’d be careful! We would only meet at places off-campus. And we can talk on the phone like this. Nobody would know.”

“I don’t know Y/N. I can’t let you risk your reputation and I don’t want to take advantage of you like that.’

“You’re not. I want to be with you.”

Philip paused. “Maybe, if it were just a sex thing.”

You thought for a moment. You had done the whole “casual sex thing” and you weren’t sure if that’s what you wanted anymore.

“Y/N?” Philip asked.

“What if…” You were almost scared to say this, knowing it could ruin what you had with Philip. “What if I want more? What if I want a real relationship?”

“Oh...Y/N…”

You could hear the pity in his voice and it made you want to crumble into pieces. “You know what? Forget I said anything.” You pulled the phone away from your ear, ready to hang up.

“Y/N! Wait!”

Your hand hovered over the red button.

“Are you still there?”

“Yes,” you whispered.

“Y/N, it’s...it’s not that I don’t want that too, but…there’s no way it would work. We could never see each other. We’d have to meet in secret. Our relationship could never be public, even after you graduate. Which isn’t for two more years anyway.”

Tears were already streaming down your face. You didn’t realize how much Philip had come to mean to you over the month when you were his TA. You thought you just had a harmless crush. You knew there was no chance, but then there was that one night, and despite your better judgment, it had given you hope. All those things you’d imagined you could do with him, what you imagined you could mean to him, they seemed to be real, and now you were reminded of the harsh reality of the situation.

“You said you wanted a real relationship, and hiding from the world that’s just, that’s not real. You deserve better than that. You deserve so much more than what my position will let me give to you.”

    You couldn’t hide the fact that you were crying from your voice when you spoke again. “You don’t get to decide what I deserve.”

“Y/N, I-”

“No. I don’t want to hear your excuses. Just say you don’t feel the same way, and we can be done with it.”

You waited, but there was no response from him.  “Well, I guess that’s that then.” This time you really hung up, despite any of his pleas.

Irresistible Clover

Amnesia | Heroine x Kent Words: 3722 Chapter: 1 Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22448383/chapters/53637313

Summary: Hera's got it bad for her coworker and once temp math-professor Kent, but she thinks it's pretty clear that he's not interested in relationships, or her for that matter. But when a golden opportunity to spend some time with him presents itself, she just can't resist being a sucker for love.

Kent isn't good at social relationships and he's well aware of that. A romantic relationship would just be asking for trouble, and probably not worth all the effort. But when it comes to his clever coworker Hera, he can't help but insert himself into her life every chance he gets. It's so illogical, more than 50% of relationships in people his age end in heartbreak, but where is this urge to hold her, protect her, and kiss her coming from? Why can't he treat her like everyone else?

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   

It was official. Hera was having a bad day. Well, days, actually.

First, her power went off right in the middle of her favorite game  Riddlemaster  yesterday. She’d only been able to play half an hour more before her laptop had finally died, and she’d lamented for having to watch it on such a small screen the whole time.

Defeated, she’d turned in early. Not much else to do with the lights out.

Second, she’d been unable to sleep until 3am, unused to the pitch dark. She preferred to sleep with her night light on, and refused to be ashamed about that no matter how much Shin teased her about it.

Third, the power was still out when she left to go to work in the morning, and all the food she had to eat was in the fridge, which she couldn’t open unless she wanted everything in there to spoil.

Finally, only an hour into her shift at the cafe, she’d developed a nice sleep deprivation headache that throbbed painfully behind her eyes.

So she couldn’t help it if she was being a little less patient than usual.

“Hey Hera, could you load up a fresh batch of frozen strawberries? We just ran out.”

Hera looked up from the triple-order of parfaits she was making and eyed the three whole other mostly idle people that Mine could have asked instead of her. Frozen strawberries were heavy and as one would assume,  frozen  and would smart on her bare hands after just a few seconds of carrying the bag.

“I’m busy with an order right now.” 

“Oh.” Mine looked extremely surprised, and Sawa who was working on sorting through tickets behind her wore a similarly shocked expression. Hera was usually quite polite with her speech. “Sorry.”

“Mm.” Hera didn’t think she  sounded  very sorry. Keeping her eyes down, she finished pouring the cream topping on the parfaits with a more aggressive squeeze than was necessary, and stalked off to go deliver them to the table before they began to melt.

Unfortunately for her, Ikki was ‘entertaining’ a customer at the bar which was right in her way to access the exit flap. Normally she’d just wait, but the parfaits were heavy, and if Waka noticed her serving half-melted ice cream she’d be the one to get berated later. And she really didn’t feel like listening to that.

“Excuse me.” She said shortly, looking pointedly at Ikki. “Coming through.”

His eyes widened and he hastily got out of the way. “Of course, my apologies for blocking your way…”

Hera didn’t respond, just briskly and carefully weaved around tables and customers to deliver her order.

Staring after her, Ikki made a short “huh” under his breath and then turned to the lady who was still giving him moony eyes as if nothing had even happened. 

“Right - thank you for your kind words my lady, but actually we don’t accept those types of things here. If you have any additional questions or concerns please don’t hesitate to voice them. For now, I’m afraid I must return to the kitchen.”

“Aww… okay.”

Back in the kitchen, Shin was restocking the whipped cream and cinnamon while Kent stoically oversaw the cooking of what Ikki assumed was about to be one of their “Creamy Heart Gnocchi” plates. Mine was struggling to lift a large bag of frozen strawberries out of the freezer, although it was a matter of height rather than strength.

Ikki leaned against the doorway to avoid getting in the way.

“Seems like our cute little maid has her claws out today.” He stated probingly. He wanted to affirm that it wasn’t just him. While his eyes didn’t work on Hera, he fancied that his natural charm still worked on her just fine.

“If you’re -kya!- talking about Hera, then yeah, she’s like, totally bitchy today.” Mine grumbled, yelping as she finally succeeded at getting the bag down. 

Kent made a displeased grunt of warning at the profanity.

“Grumpy, I mean. She  scowled  at me earlier when I asked her to get these for me!” Mine made a cute pouty face and demurred her posture to look pitiful.

“Restocking desert items is part of your responsibilities, not hers.” Kent corrected.

“Hpmh! Whatever. Let’s see how many customers she can please with  that  attitude.”

“Can you stop gossiping about dumb shit and get back to work.” Shin said, setting down a container of whipped cream a bit harder than necessary. As usual, he looked irritated.

Kent forwent correcting the profanity since he too wanted them to get back to work rather than conversing further.

Mine huffed and stalked out, forgetting to look like she was struggling to carry the heavy bag, holding it in one arm with ease. Ikki made an amused face and got the container of darjeeling that he had come in for originally and got to work brewing the tea.

 ---

 Not that Hera had begun the day with much in the way of patience, but right now she was dangerously close to losing it completely. Just one more hour of torture and she could go home to what was hopefully an apartment fully restored with power.

There were no windows in Meido no Histuji, which contributed to it’s cozy den-like atmosphere which inspired customers to relax in the dim lighting of the cafe. It was probably good for business, but Hera would have liked to have some windows simply for the fact that  maybe , she wouldn’t be dealing with a table of male customers who wanted more maidly services than she was willing to offer.

Since they probably wouldn’t feel so bold in the face of broad daylight.

Hera forced a polite smile and held the tray up higher so that it would block access to where her ample chest swelled her apron.

“Thank you for your kind words masters, but we don’t offer any of those kinds of services at this establishment.” She really should have been more cordial, but this was the wrong day for them to grope her. “It is stated quite clearly in our rules on the sign outside the cafe. Should you masters require some help to read it, I can gladly provide a chance to have my manager come personally reaffirm this.”

“You bitch, do you really think you’re in a position to make fun of us? Just provide us with proper service, it’s not that hard.”

“Right. Proper maids serve in silence with a smile.”

Were all teenage men this way? Horny, aggressive, and rude? Even her male coworkers were at least one of the three, considering Ikki’s womanizing, Shin’s rough speech and actions, and Kent’s cold and inconsiderate tendencies. At least Toma didn’t act that way, but he was like an annoying helicopter parent that liked to boss her around, which she appreciated even less.

Clicking the pen off, Hera decided to go get Waka instead of continue trying to take their order. 

“Sir?”

“What is it, Hera?”

“Customers at table three just groped me under the pretense of trying to check I was taking their order right sir.” Hera would usually sugarcoat the situation but right now she didn’t feel like it. “I told them we don’t provide those services but they obviously aren’t taking no for an answer. I figured it would be best for you to decide how to handle the situation. And if you don’t mind sir, I’d like to take my break now.”

Waka’s eyebrows skyrocketed at her tone - a far cry from her usual sweet gentle voice. Though with the situation at hand he didn’t blame her.

“I see. Permission granted. I’ll handle the situation, thank you for notifying me.” He pulled up his gloves and pushed up his glasses and made for table three, a dark aura following him.

Back in the break room, Hera was slumped on the couch, eating the apple and peanut butter sandwich she’d cobbled together this morning like it was a feast, lamenting the lack of the bento locked in the forbidden depths of her fridge.

She was hungry enough not to care though, and when she finished she laid all the way down on the couch and pressed her hands against her eyes, wishing her headache would just go away already. Her boob was also kinda sore where the guy had jabbed it in his attempt to get a handful.

When she heard the sound of the break room door click and open, she didn’t even bother to move.

“Hera.” Great. That sounded like Kent.

“What?” She didn’t bother to sit up. “I’m on break.”

That was when the smell of food - some kind of cheesy pasta, she guessed - hit her nose. It was so good that she couldn’t bring herself to be ashamed of how she instantly started salivating.

She peeped through her hands. It looked just as delicious as the man holding it. Not that she’d ever had a chance to taste him. Now  that  was a dangerous train of thought, especially since her crush on him was clearly unrequited. It was pretty clear Kent wasn’t interested in dating, so she’d kind of given up on trying and resigned herself to admire him on her own.

“I noticed you were moving twenty percent more slowly than normal and look at the food you were serving 5 times more than usual. This has led me to believe that you may be hungry, so I brought this for you. Before you ask, yes, Waka has permitted it.” Kent said, setting the plate down on the break table, along with a fork, napkin, and bottle of water.

Hera took her hands off her eyes and raised her eyebrows.

“Wow really? Thanks.” She sat up and took the plate forking a large bite. Letting out a low groan at the rich taste, she wasted no time shoveling fork to mouth. 

Kent was watching her with his usual impassive look. 

“Maybe it’s just because I’m hungry, but right now this feels like the best thing I’ve ever tasted. Or maybe you’re just a genius in the kitchen.”

“Prolonged periods of time without food can cause large amounts of serotonin to be released upon the breaking of such a fast as the body’s way of naturally encouraging the brain to eat to regain the appropriate amount of nutrients.” Kent explained. Though Hera hadn’t asked for the Fun Facts, she didn’t mind this habit of his.

“This is more likely what you are experiencing. Although the taste buds do experience changes throughout late childhood and early puberty, they remain the same throughout adulthood. At your age they would not have made a change capable of such an effect.”

“That’s cool.” Hera remarked, setting the plate down to drink some water, feeling better now that she had eaten. “Just don’t go telling me all the nutritional information of the pasta because then I’m gonna feel guilty.”

“Well actually-”

“Ahh! Stop stop!” She covered her ears and glared at him. “I just said don’t tell me, don’t be mean.”

Kent did something then that she swore she never would have believed if she hadn’t experienced it for herself.

He smiled at her.

It didn’t last long though, because all too soon his expression returned to neutral and he held out the water bottle insistently. 

“I need to get back to the kitchen. Make sure to drink it all or else you will get dehydrated from the sodium in the mozarella.”

Hera was left holding the bottle numbly, watching the door close after the tall young man. Slowly unscrewing the top, she placed the lip against her mouth and took a sip.

Did that really just happen?

 ---

 Blissfully wrapped up in a cozy green blanket, Hera was sipping on a box of pineapple juice from the comfort of her sofa, her laptop balanced on her lap.

Work was over, her headache was gone thanks to the power nap she’d taken when she got home, and she was well fed. She hadn’t fully forgotten about the disgusting experience of a stranger grabbing a handful of her right breast, but leveling up three times in  Riddlemaster was doing a good job of getting her mind off it. The trivia-based game was as mentally stimulating as it was fun, and getting the answers right made her feel smart.

Hera just liked this sort of thing. Finding out weird explanations for things was so satisfying for some reason. That’s why she’d decided to major in psychology. 

On to the next question! Just two more and she’d unlock the next level and earn another 500 gold coins.

  The picture above is a ______ because of 

a) jaw and teeth

b) snout shape

c) both a and b

 Taking a moment to study the picture, Hera was pretty confident the creature in the image was a crocodile. The creature in the picture had a kind of wide snout compared to other crocodiles, but she recognized the interlocking snaggleteeth that differed from alligators which had overbites.

Filling in  crocodile  in the blank, and selecting  a  she pressed submit.

 Correct!

 Hera grinned smugly at the upbeat chirp of the game as she got the answer right.

Alright, last one before she reached level 40! Oh she couldn’t wait for those 500 coins, that was enough to buy her avatar two new outfits! She already knew which one she wanted too. They’d recently released a Summer Festival set that had 3 different colors of yukata with a beautiful floral pattern.

Hera wanted the pink one with the gold hair ornament.

  Which number represents the rate at which rabbits reproduce? This is called ______.

a) x = 1 + 2/x

b) 3.14

c) 1/89

d) 6.2831853071

 Shit. Math, her weakness. Well, there was no time limit to figuring out the answers to the questions, so she usually just googled the subject of the question and tried to figure out what the answer was based on what she read…in the spirit of not being a cheater. But she really had no idea on this one.

Clearly the second option was pi, she knew that much. The first one looked like an equation, but it wasn’t one she recognized as being related to anything that could have to do with rabbit reproduction.

Twenty minutes later and several videos and wiki pages about rabbit production later, and all she really knew was that rabbits were horny and she was thoroughly stumped. None of the articles had even mentioned anything about numbers or math.

Hera bit her lip. She was so close to getting her Summer Festival outfit… and her pride refused to allow her to cheat. But the outfit was a limited time item that would be removed from the store during maintenance on the 15th of August. That was a little over a week from now, but she didn’t have all the time in the world.

Time for her last resort. The oldest one in the book, phone a friend! Well, text actually. Opening up her cell, she typed out a message to Sawa.

 To: SawaiiK From: Hera-oine7 Date: 8-04 7:49:00

Hey (^-^)/   I know u r usually taking ur time in the bath right abt now, but if u have time can I get your help on smthg?

 She opened up the Riddlemaster store page in another tab while waiting for a reply. Using the preview function, she removed the usual outfit her character wore (a greek style ‘goddess’ outfit she thought would suit it, since her ign was GoddessHera) and applied the Summer Festival outfit and began playing around with the colors of the trim and embroidery.

It was good motivation.

Her phone beeped from beside her and she sat up to retrieve it.

  Hera! <3 Haha, yeah I was, but aniki made so much of a fuss about having to piss that I decided to just get out rather than argue with him abt using the 3 other bathrms in the house… -_-

And sure watsup? U were acting odd @work today, u feeling ok?

 Oh right, she had been in a mood to go home without socializing in the changing room like usual, so Sawa was probably still reeling from her pricklyness towards Mine that morning. 

Writing quickly, she replied.

  Oh nah, it’s nothing like that, I’m fine. I was just tired lol.

 She contemplated adding “ of Mine’s shit ” but that wasn’t very nice. The two might not get along ever since Mine overheard Hera talking to Sawa about her crush on Kent, but she wasn’t mean enough for Hera to justify talking trash about the girl for no reason.

  I just need help with a question on Riddlemaster again hehe. (- 3-)’ Its abt math. 

 Hera sent it and sipped some of her juice.

  LOL u r so addicted to that game! But ya ofc I’ll help. Wats the question

 Hera took a picture of her laptop screen and just sent the image file through text. Would take a lot less time than retyping the whole question.

It took a few minutes before Sawa to reply.

  Ok well. I tried but i have umm no freaking clue lol. (^~^)’’’ Neither does aniki. This is probly higher difficulty than normal college math. ...hey u know who u should ask? ;)

 Dang. Well, she wasn’t surprised, considering her googling efforts had proven completely useless.

  Idk, who?

 It was times like these that she wished her parents hadn’t passed away without leaving her any siblings.

  He’s TALL, he’s handsome, he’s rlly good at math, and you now have the perfect excuse 2 hang out with him :)

 Oh. Kent. Hera considered it, crushing her juice box now that it was just bubbling noisily. 

She’d written countless texts to him about all sorts of things hoping to start a conversation and catch his attention, but she’d deleted all of them because they were stupid and the last person she wanted to laugh at her was Kent. Or god forbid, think she was clingy.

But this was actually a situation where her asking him this made complete logical sense, so it was pretty safe.

The problem was, how would she turn it into something that would last more than 2 messages? It would be such a waste to squander this perfect opportunity. Her phone chirped again.

  Do it do it do it do it do it!!! Hera!! No hesitation, get yo man!! 

 Hera laughed at the message, Sawa was probably interpreting her lack of a response as her convincing herself out of asking Kent.

  Alright fine. Pray 4 me. 

  YESSSsss!! Tell me how it goes! It’s time for dinner so I’ll ttyl :)

 Okay now… the hard part. Clicking out of Sawa’s contact, she scrolled down and clicked on Kent’s. 

 To: KentSJ94 From: Hera-oine7 Date: 8-04 7:58

Hey Kent, it’s Hera. There’s something I need some help with. It’s a math problem, sort of. Would you be willing to meet up with me to help me figure it out? I’m free this Sunday.

 Hera re-read the message several times, seriously debating sending it. Was she really going to do this? What if he thought she was annoying for bothering him? After a moment she added on-

  If not that’s okay.  

 That should cover her bases right? He probably didn’t like girls that were demanding. Okay time to have courage.

Her finger hovered over the send button.

Taking a deep breath, she squeezed her eyes shut and hit send. YOLO.

“Oh my god I can’t believe I actually sent it to him.” Making a noise of distress, she quickly closed her phone and put it under a pillow. “Ugh, why did I do that.”

She almost hoped he didn’t see it. Too bad you can only delete the sender side of texts.

Hera chewed nervously on the inside of her lip. Maybe she should go do something. Just sitting here looking at her phone was making her freak out. A bath like Sawa? But she didn’t want to be alone with her thoughts. A bath with loud music then. Maybe BOP bass boosted... and chocolate. Nice thing about being alone was that nobody could catch her stress eating.

She’d barely set a foot in the direction of the bathroom when her phone chirped. Hera was so wound up, it spooked her into a harsh jump.

She slowly picked up the phone with dread. 

“Lord have mercy.”

 Re: Hera-oine7 KentSJ94 Date: 8-04 8:05

I will be at my house on Sunday working on my thesis presentation. Come over and I will help you with your problem. Notify me if the issue requires preparation.

 Hera stared at her phone.

No way. It actually worked? He had actually agreed to help and was inviting her over to his house.

...Maybe she should go buy a lottery ticket too.

 Re: KentSJ94 Hera-oine7

Date: 8-04 8:07

  Thank you so much Kent! I really appreciate it. See you Sunday @12:00?

 His house wasn’t far away- she’d been there once before just outside when she’d asked to turn in some math assignments late due to being in the hospital for anemia before. She just wanted the extra time to doll herself up thoroughly before she got there. She wasn’t a morning person and well, go hard or go home.

His reply was very quick this time. That didn’t surprise her though, she figured he was the kind to stay on the phone until a conversation was finished. It struck her as the more “efficient” thing to do.

 Re: Hera-oine7

KentSJ94

Date: 8-04 8:08

Yes.

 Hera kinda wanted to laugh, it was so like him to respond like that. Well, brevity is the soul of wit and all that.

Looking back at the message history, she re-read Kent’s messages several times. There was this weird bubbly feeling in her chest that was giving her the urge to cover her face and squeal as loudly as possible. 

Hera resisted it of course. She wasn’t a kid. But she did let out a particularly happy noise on her way to the bathroom that could only be described as a giggle.

Sue her, she was a girl in love. Grabbing her chocolate, she made for the bathtub, intent on taking a celebratory bath this time. Which of course, required sweets.

Leap of Faith

Pairing: GOT7′s Mark x OC [Sooyeon] Genre: college!au, slice of life, slight fluff Word Count: 2,436 Summary: Taking a leap of faith... you don't always know where you'll land after doing so, but you'll always seem to find yourself not living with any regrets once it's done. So, life is always about taking chances. Do it.

Warning: none except hasn’t been proof-read since it was last shared 3 years ago.

oh, my. my writing style  back then. wow. luckily i don’t write like that anymore. not sure what prompted me do so, but yeah. this was part of a GOT7 Secret Santa writing event that i partook for the first time that year and ofc i got stuck with MT. lol but anyways, it was cute and fun i guess so yeah happy reading and kthxbai, Admin Lia~

I was studying for my math exam that was next week on Thursday in the college's cafe when my friend, Naomi, suddenly said something. "Huh?" I looked up from my math notes confused as she rolled her eyes at me. "Sheesh, Sooyeon, I've been talking for like the past five minutes and you weren't even listening to me? Some friend you are." I rolled my own eyes noting the sarcasm in my friend's voice. "Hey, I can go back to studying and ignoring you if you want." "No, no." Naomi rejected as she excitedly spoke again with her eyes shining mischievously looking from me and then behind me. "He's checking you out again, you know?" "Checking me out? What are you talking about?" "Mark Tuan." "Mark who?" "Mark. Tuan. Sooyeon." Naomi let out slowly trying to emphasize each word. "He's like in all of your classes. How do you not know him by now?"

I shrugged indifferently as I returned back to my math notes. "It's college and I only have two classes this fall semester, Naomi. Besides, they're all in the morning. You think my mind's that active for me to register anything?" I looked up at her again as she showed me her bored face. "It's already December, Soo. Classes end next week. And, you should have known him by now since he's friends with Jackson." "Jack-who?" I tilted my head with a confused expression as Naomi let out a frustrated sigh as her hands became claw-like and I let out a small smile noticing it. "Don't get mad, Nay." I told her with a shake of my head while smiling. "It's not my fault that I don't know or pay attention. We're not in high school anymore. Honestly, should I really know this information?" I looked at her seriously as she pouted at me. "Yes, Sooyeon, you should."

"Why?" I asked giving up on studying for my math exam while closing my notebook. "There are like way more important things to think about besides boys." Naomi clicked her tongue disapprovingly at me. "You've never had a boyfriend." "So? Your point is?" "You're like twenty and never had a boyfriend." Naomi let out a bit heatedly before speaking again. "And the dates and guys I try to set you up with fails because you never try to get to know them." "I'm twenty-two, thank you." I corrected her. "Also the dates are guys who ask you to set me up with them just to get in my pants. And the others are random dudes who have too much too drink, Naomi. You think I would ever fall for someone like that?" "Man, I don't know. For as long as I've known you, since we were in diapers mind you, I don't know what kind of guys you like."

"Good. Let's keep it that way." I said blowing her a raspberry while putting my things away as Naomi grabbed my hands to stop me from putting my things away. "Ugh, you're such a grumpy butt, sometimes, I swear." I cast her a knowing smile as she glared at me for a short bit before looking behind me again. "But seriously, Sooyeon. He won't stop looking over here." "Maybe he's checking you out instead and it's not really me." "No, it's you he has his eyes on." "How are you so sure?" "Because his eyes follows you and I've tried asking him out, but he turned me down." Now I looked at her shock. "He turned you down? Miss I-Can-Get-Every-Boy-Without-Really-Trying. Really?" "Psh, whatever, but yeah, he turned me down. It's okay though, I got my eyes on Jackson and he fits more of my type." "I didn't know you had a type." "Well, now I do, but that's not the point." "Then what's the point?" I asked already tired of this whole discussion.

"Just ask Mark out, Sooyeon. If you ask him out, then I won't bother you about this kind of thing ever again." She pleaded with me like she was serious about it as I looked at her suspiciously. "Sooyeon, I promise. I won't bother you ever again. I promise." I continued to look at her. "Sooyeon. Just take a chance. A leap of faith. Gosh, you're in college and at our age right now we should be enjoying life and living it up. Haven't you heard that phrase the kids nowadays are living by? The whole 'YOLO' thing which means 'you only live once'." "I know what it means and don't even start that, Naomi. Don't make me whip the nay nay out of you." "Oh haha, funny, but I'm totally serious. Just ask the poor guy out." "Man, if he likes me, then he can ask me out instead." I stated as I finished packing up my things ready to go. "Why should the guys always be the one to do it? We're in the twenty-first century. Besides, you never take chances. You're just... you."

I stared at her in boredom as I swung on my backpack. "Well, I like being me, thank you very much. And, maybe I'm just old-fashioned. Ever thought about that?" I stood up as she also stood up with me and took a hold of my arm preventing me from leaving. "You're not old-fashioned, Soo. You're just scared." I scoffed. "I'm not scared, Nay." I see her lips quirked up mischievously as her eyes seemed to glow slyly. "Sooyeon, you're scared." "Naomi, I'm not scared." I stated, but she wasn't believing me. I tried again and she still didn't believe me. "Fine. I'll do it." I agreed giving in as my friend let out this weird squeal as she began to jump up and down while I shot her an amused yet confused look. "Are you okay?" "I will be when you finally ask him out." She quickly ran to my side of the table and pushed be towards the table that Mark was sitting with a few of his friends including the guy that Naomi said was her type. "Go, go, go."

Naomi pushed me until I was at the table. She then ran off, but not before telling me good luck and giggling while running away. I rolled my eyes at her immaturity before laying my eyes onto the guys who suddenly just stopped talking and were now looking at who I believed to be Mark. I also looked at Mark who was looking at me, but he seemed more surprised than anything else. I cast him a quick smile to which he returned instantly. Huh, he has a nice smile. I thought and then remember why I was there. "Mark, right?" I asked looking at him to which he nodded his head slowly while his friends cast one another knowing looks. Two of his friends who were sitting next to Mark were nudging him playfully and he cast them all a glare. His attention then returned to me, but he wasn't glaring or looking surprised like before. He had a somewhat cute looking expression instead. "Yes, I'm Mark."

"OK." I said with a smile as I took a deep breath before letting it out silently and slowly. "Do you want to go out with me?" I asked him with a neutral expression. I saw his eyes go wide and his friends letting out collected 'oohs', but before I could give the guy time to respond I answered quickly instead. "No? OK. Sorry. Bye!" I let out with a pleasant tone and a wry expression as I turned away and made a beeline towards Naomi without looking behind me. "OK, Soo, what did he say?" Naomi asked me excitedly once I reached her. "He didn't say anything. I asked him out and I answered right after." "What? What?" She asked confused standing up. "What did you say? Why did you do that? No wonder he's looking so confused." "I said 'no, OK, sorry,' and 'bye' and I came over here after doing that." "Sooyeon! Go back there and get an answer!" Naomi demanded while pointing in Mark's direction.

I looked at my watch and noticed the time. "Oh, sorry, Nay, no can do." I told her with feign sadness. "I gotta pick up James, but I did what you told me and so now you can get off my back!" I smiled at her while sticking out my tongue and backing away before she could get a chance to grab a hold of me. "Oh, no, missy!" She said as she tried to maneuver over to me from the other side of the table and followed me. "You're not going anywhere, Soo!" "Sorry, Nay! A deal is a deal! Later!" I told her with a laugh as I turned away from her and instantly exited out of the cafe. Not stopping to celebrate in victory of finding a loop hole, I made a mad dash down the steps towards the parking lot to avoid Naomi's wrath. "Ahh, good job, Sooyeon." I told myself while laughing as I still remembered the expression on Naomi's face. "She's so gonna kill me, but whatever. I'll live."

I had just reached my car when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I spun around expecting Naomi and was about to apologize when I came face to face with Mark instead. "Nao-Mark?" I let out surprised by his sudden appearance and gave him a confused look as to why he was there. "Hey. Sooyeon." He let out a bit sheepishly while trying to catch his breath while he kind of back up to give me space. Ooh, I like the sound of his voice. I suddenly thought when I heard him speak, but chased that thought away getting back to reality. "Um, hi. Um, do you need something?" He bit his bottom lip and for some stupid reason I was noticing all these small details about him to which I didn't even pay attention to him up until now. "Um, Mark?" I spoke again when he didn't say anything. "Sorry." He apologized as he began to rub the back of his neck. "I, um, well, you, see." He let out incoherently as I tried to give him time to say what he needed to say.

"Yes." He finally got out what he wanted to say, but that made me more confused than ever. "Yes, what?" He looked at me like I was crazy, but I shot him a tight lipped smile while I just shrugged my shoulders and shook my head as I still didn't comprehend what he meant. "Yes. That's my response to your question earlier." He looked at me hopefully as I tried to remember what question I had asked him and then it dawned on me and I then let out an embarrassed laugh. "Oh, haha, that. Ahh, I see. OK." I then placed a hand behind my head totally embarrassed while looking away from him before returning my gaze onto him again. "OK." Was all that I could say at the moment as I didn't really expect him to come after me and say 'yes'. He frowned a bit. "You don't seem happy." "Oh, it's not like that." I slightly panicked. "I'm just embarrassed. I just didn't think. I, yeah, I'll just shut up now." Mark let out a chuckle.

Wow, even his laugh is cute. I thought and mentally face-palmed myself. I composed myself once again and looked up at him. "Um, so why did you come after me besides agreeing to go out with me?" Mark cast me another one of his dazzling smile. Sheesh, what is wrong with me? I asked myself again, but focused my attention when I heard him talk. "Sorry, I didn't catch that." I smiled apologetically at him. "It's okay." He smiled again. "I just said it was something like a leap of faith." "A leap of faith?" "Yeah, something about taking a chance." He smiled at me knowingly, but I didn't catch on and just let it slide. "Alright, um, well, I guess that's good to know. Taking chances. That makes the both of us." I muttered the last part to myself as I started thinking if this was a set up from the beginning and while lost in thought I didn't hear Mark's question.

"Late lunch?" I caught the last part of his question. "Could you repeat that. Sorry, I was lost in thought." He smiled at me understandingly and repeated his question. "How about a late lunch?" "Oh, um, yeah no." I told him, but quickly spoke so that I wasn't rejecting him or being mean about it because his expression shifted slightly. "I have to pick up my nephew from school. It's a half day. Um, reign check?" Mark's expression seemed relieved and he smiled at me. "Then how about dinner and a movie instead?" Mark tried again as I reconsider his offer. I looked at him and saw that he was hoping for a yes. I guess I could put off studying for one night, I told myself. "Sure." He instantly grinned. "Seven thirty?" "Yeah, seven thirty." I agreed as I turned away from him, but he called my name before I could unlock my car door. I turned to look at him. "Yes?" He held out his phone while looking at me a bit shyly. "Could I have your number so that I could call you or text you so I could pick you up?"

"Oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry." I let out a bit embarrassed as I recited my number to him. I watched his delicate hands punched in the numbers and I soon felt my own mobile vibrate. I pulled it out and saw his text and smiled at him while holding up the phone to show him. "Got it. So, seven thirty, right?" He grinned wide while nodding his head. 'Yeah, seven thirty." "Alright. I'll see you later then." "See you later." "Um, bye Mark." "Bye Sooyeon." I clumsily got into my car while throwing my backpack into the passenger seat and looked out my driver's window and saw that Mark was still there and he crouched down a bit to wave at me. I awkwardly waved back at him while casting him another smile. I started the car and carefully backed out and waved at him once more and he watched me go. I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding. "Wow. Some leap of faith that was." But I found myself smiling for some reason. "I guess taking a chance wasn't so bad. Thanks, Naomi."

The One-eyed Upperclassman | Part 2

Summary: Naomi feels that she owe her savior something, so she makes her something special for him while also getting along with his group.

     The long break between new academic years was a lot of fun, but never had it felt so long that it drove Naomi impatient. Usually she dreaded going to school, although hanging out with her friends was fun, the math and science lessons were of the top of her worries. Now that she was entering tenth grade, she can only smell the difficulty of those two subjects spiking dramatically. But ever since that day, ever since she encountered that one-eyed upperclassman, she was actually waiting for school to start again.

     She packed two boxes of lunch that morning. She made sure her food tasted good, decent at least. It tasted fine on her tongue, but she feared it was only fine for her. When Esh-baal came to pick her up—her house was nearby—Naomi shoved a spoonful into her mouth. “Please try it! Is it good?”

     Despite almost choking on the spoon, she managed to chew and swallow the food Naomi so desperately wanted her to try. “It’s great. Would be awesome if you didn’t force it down my throat, though.”

     “Oops. Heheh… But I’m glad you like it.” She went back to her packed lunches and put them in the bag.

     “Can I have some too?” Esh-baal took out her own lunchbox and Naomi gave her as much as her friend needed. “Alright, let’s hurry before the first bell rings.”

     The new academic year started without much issues. Kazuo was back, but he didn’t try to do anything. He, in fact, sort of avoided Naomi, probably because Eve was always nearby. Eve is a big girl, the tallest girl in her class. With her height and her well-known possession of red belt in taekwondo, she easily intimidated those who meant harm to her friends or herself. Naomi’s impatience grew thinner the closer the time got to lunch time, and when the bell rang, she excitedly grabbed her lunch bag.

     “Naomi, hold on!” called out Esh-baal. Seeing her small friend disappear outside caused her to rush to follow her.

     Naomi looked around the hallway, wondering where the eleventh grade’s classroom was. She remembered last time he mentioned that their class was nearby and just when she figured out which one it was, the people she was expecting walked out of their class. She recognized some of them from the time they confronted Kazuo, most notably the tall dark-skinned one. Following him closely was the one-eyed boy, without the bandages this time, exposing a huge scar around his blind eye. She followed them, just as Eve and Esh-baal caught up to her. She called, “Hey, wait up!”

     “Naomi, what are you doing? Where are you going?” Esh-baal asked with exasperation in her voice. “Did you forget your way around school? Cafetaria’s not on the roof!” Yet, the little blonde did not hear her.

     “Wait!” Naomi called out again, this time catching the attention to one of the boys of the group, a Japanese with a black hair that was tied on the back. His face was disinterested at first, until he paid attention to the face of the caller. He even went as far as grabbing the one-eyed boy’s sleeve.

     “Hey, you’re that girl!” he said, a smile growing on his face. Once he spoke, all of his friends turned around to look at Naomi. At the sudden attention from the group plus some passing students, Naomi became somewhat self-conscious and her cheeks reddened. “What’s up?” he asked, giving Naomi his attention while his friends looked on with little to no interest.

     Naomi was nervous, but she refused to back away. She had been waiting all day, after all. “Uh, I just, uh… Can we sit with you?” Naomi peeped, much to her friends’ horror.

     “We?” Eve whispered intensely, “Girl, are you crazy?!”

     The one-eyed boy definitely saw the unease written all over Esh-baal and Eve’s face and simply groaned. The dark-skinned one and the Japanese boy both elbowed him. “Yeah. Sure. Do whatever you want,” he muttered with disinterest, and continued climbing the stairs to the roof.

     The Japanese boy walked down to approach Naomi while also keeping his distance from her, not wanting to be left behind by his friends. “Don’t mind him, he tends to be grumpy, but he ain’t bad. Also, hi, I’m Kenji, nice to meet you.” The boy named Kenji gave a wide smile, one that caused Naomi’s friends to tense up.

     “I’m Naomi. These are Esh-baal and Eve,” Naomi replied, oblivious to her friends’ tension. “We never sat on the rooftop before. It’s usually occupied by the seniors.”

     “Yeah, well, we’re the seniors now, basically. There’re only like ten-something people in the twelfth grade and they’re really...reclusive, kinda? They only hang out with each other, that’s what I mean. But that’s good news ‘cuz that means we get to occupy the rooftop. Pretty much our HQ since last year.”

     Kenji kindly guided the girls to the rooftop with a smile, before leaving them for his crowd once they reached the rooftop. He sat next to the one-eyed boy and waved at the girls to come and sit with them.

     Naomi and her friends took a moment to study the place. It was blanketed with sunlight, the edges of the building was guarded by hard-weaved wire fences to keep students from falling, and large potted plants standing on every corner to spruce up the place. There were a few tables with wide metal roof to shield anyone who sits from harsh sunlight or rain shower. Three of them were occupied by Kenji and his group. “Guys, say hello to Naomi, Eve, and Esh—uh...Eschel?”

     “It’s Esh-baal,” the owner of the name corrected, slightly annoyed but understanding.

     “Ah, yeah, my bad,” Kenji chuckled.

     “Already cozying yourself with the new girls, huh, Kenji?” remarked a red-haired girl, sipping her boxed Thai tea from a straw.

     Kenji pouted at her, “Not everybody wants to be forever known as ‘the scary Viking chick’ like you, Sonja.” Then he turned to the girls again. “Well, don’t let her scare you. Sit down.”

     “Right. But, um, actually…” Naomi approached the one-eyed boy. Suddenly, she became a bit nervous. She shyly took out one of the lunchboxes out of her bag and handed it to him. Already the gesture caused Kenji and his dark-skinned friend beamed, mouth opened but no sound coming out of it yet. “I wanna thank you, um, for helping me back then. So...I made you my own homemade lunch!”

     Suddenly Kenji and the dark-skinned boy howled, slapping the one-eyed boy on his back. “Asa has a faaaaaaaan!” he slung a thick arm around the one-eyed boy—evidently named Asa—and patting his chest with a huge grin on his face.

     Asa pushed his arm off, his face slightly tinted pink from his friends’ embarrassing howling. He turned his head, coyly, to Naomi. “What if I already have my own lunch?”

     “You idiot!” Kenji yelled, startling him yet again. “Don’t be rude! It’s a thank-you lunch, accept it! You can share it with me or Grim if it’s too much food for you, which, let’s be real. You eat like a pig, quantity-wise. That tiny lunch box is a snack.”

     Asa sighed and humbly accepted Naomi’s gift of homemade lunch. “You shouldn’t have done this. But...thanks. For the...thank-you gift.” He meant to keep the lunch box unopened, but once again Kenji urged him, coupled with his own common decency. This girl had made the effort to cook lunch and pack it especially for him, because he did a small thing a few months ago that apparently meant a lot to her.

     “Come on, eat something,” the dark-skinned boy called Grim whispered with much urgency.

     Asa sighed deeply and took a spoonful of Naomi’s food. It looked pretty, very carefully coordinated, the rice in the middle was square-shaped with the meat, vegetables, and fried tofu organized surrounding it. The smell was also mouth-watering. This food was too good to be unappreciated and wasted. He brought the spoon and its content into his mouth, the flavor instantly melting in his mouth.

     “So how is it?” asked Naomi. Asa yelped in surprise, finding her already sitting beside him, where Grim was. Grim quietly invited Naomi to sit next to Asa while the one-eyed boy was still entranced by her food, while Esh-baal and Eve were invited to sit with the girls of the group.

     “It’s uh…”

     “It’s not good, is it?” she laughed, with a subtle tinge of disappointment.

     “No! It’s—it tastes fine! Good!” Asa interjected, seeing how she seemed to be discouraged.

     And it would appear his words helped; she beamed and was practically shining. “Oh, that’s a relief! I don’t know what you like so I just made the most basic thing.” She took out her own lunchbox and started eating with him. She had the same food as the one she gave to him, except she prepared some brownie squares for dessert. Asa continued eating the lunch she gave him interchangeably with the lunch he brought from home, and while everyone else conversed as they ate, Asa was silent. “Huh, I didn’t expect you to be a shy, quiet type. You were really forward when you confronted Kazuo.”

     Asa blushed slightly and couldn’t answer. Instead, Grim spoke on his behalf. “He’s only forward when he’s being rude and threatening someone,” he sneered, much to Asa’s annoyance. “But when he has nice things to say, he’s all flustered and shit. Which is backwards.” Grim giggled, causing Asa to swing a foot to kick him lightly on the shin. Naomi could tell the two were close.

     Naomi and her friends were soon introduced to the whole group. Asa was the leader of the group. Grim was apparently short for Grimoaldo and he turned out to be Asa’s brother, younger by two months, both were adopted. Kenji had been friends with the brothers since eighth grade, after Asa helped him defended his little sister from bullies. Besides Kenji, there was another boy, named Mars, who joined the group in ninth grade after Asa and his friends defended his autistic younger brother. The girls were already friends before they joined. They were Sonja, Ulva, and Jen. The girls first befriendment with the male half of the group was less poetic; instead of having anything related to defense against bullying, they simply were placed in a group for a science project the whole semester last year and apparently they all clicked. So much that Mars and Ulva started dating last summer.

     Naomi’s eyes were all sparkles and stars the entire time they told their first time stories. Such a large and interesting group of friends, and they seemed like really nice people. What impressed her the most was that most of them met through bullying. She noticed the expression on Esh-baal and Eve’s faces changed as they listened to them talking. They were really tense before, now they seemed to have softened. Things to have sailed quite smoothly until the laughters were interrupted by an abrupt slam from the door to the rooftop.

     Everybody’s heads whisked to the source of the slamming, where a Caucasian boy with a light blond hair was hunching down panting, presumably from running up the stairs in a hurry. Naomi didn’t know who he was, but she could recall seeing his face in the year below her. The older students, however, seemed to know him. Grim approached him, placing a warm hand on his shoulder. “Folke? What’s wrong, buddy? Take a deep breath.”

     “I can’t! You guys need to help! I was in the bathroom, Glovar was there too, a-a-and then these guys come up to him and start pushing him around. I got out but he’s still in there!” the boy named Folke stammered in sheer panic, his face drenched in sweat from both the running and panicking, hands pulling at Grim’s arms in a desperate attempt to bring help to his friend still trapped in the men’s bathroom.

     Grim started to sweat a little too, his forehead scrunched as the worry infected him as well. He threw a quick look at Asa who, the moment he heard Folke stammering about this boy named Glovar, immediately hopped out of his seat, leaving his lunchbox and the one Naomi gave open and unfinished. Naomi was startled by how quick he moved, outpacing the others as he hurried downstairs. Kenji and Mars were also quick to follow their leader, but the others were given more time. Grim, while visibly worried, was in no hurry to follow his brother. He instead opted to remain on the tables and guarded the guys’ lunchboxes and helped Folke rest and calm himself down. The friendly air turned cold, Naomi wasn’t sure what to do about it.

      “Is everything going to be okay?” she squeaked.

     Grim blinked quickly and chuckled forcefully. “Yeah, you don’t have to worry. It’s gonna be over soon, I guaran—”

     A collective scream from numerous people erupted downstairs, heard from both the rooftop entrance and out of the windows downstairs, giving Naomi, Esh-baal, and Eve a mini heart attack. More shouting came from the windows, a masculine voice, clearly sounding afraid and threatened.

     “Holy shit, he’s really going all out, isn’t he?” Sonja spoke, standing up to peer over the wire fences to where the shouting came from. She and her friends appeared much less panicked as the others, as if they had no worry in them at all.

     “Um, what’s really going on?” Eve asked, imitating Sonja peering over the fences.

     “The usual,” she simply answered.

     “I will go check. Watch over my things?” Naomi stood up and walked downstairs, following the source of the commotion. The closer she got, the more her stomach felt churning. She soon spotted a bunch of girls from other classes gathering in the hallway, creating a wall of human flesh that blocked her from what was going on. She tried jumping, but Naomi’s height and lack of lower body strength could not help her see. So she had no choice but squeeze between the crowd, only to come out to Asa holding another boy with his body halfway outside the window.

     “Lemme go! Dammit, lemme go!” the boy screamed, hands clawing at Asa’s arm trying to desperately save himself. His eyes widened, spine shivering whenever he saw what was below, realizing that the school building was taller than it looked despite being only three storeys tall.

     “Oh, sure. I’ll let you go and let you fall to your death, you piece of shit!” Asa growled, shaking and further pushing him out the window. The knee bends were the only thing still kept the boy in Asa’s hands hanging onto the building. It showed how much strength Asa has for being able to hold a person like that with relative ease.

     Naomi looked around; she remembered Kenji and Mars following Asa, so where were they? She spotted Mars, holding down two other boys beneath him all by himself. He had their arms behind their back. Kenji was nowhere to be seen.

     “What do you want, man! You got no business with that blue prick!” the threatened boy wailed, still holding on to Asa’s wrists, in case he planned on letting go with him still dangling by the window with only his knees.

     “That ‘blue prick’ is my brother and as an older sibling, that makes your business with him my business! If there’s anyone who should be asking, it’s me! Now what do you fucking want with him?!” The last question was asked in a roar. Naomi swore she could see his veins bulging from under his skin, his brown skin turned slightly darker as he went red with rage.

      “Just havin’ fun, dude! Chill out!”

     “Well, I’m having fun too, what about that? Does this feel fun to you, dipshit? Does it?!” Asa pushed the boy again further out that he started to cry and beg in his hold. The crowd around them were heard gasping and muttering in worry if the tall eleventh grader would seriously drop the other student, but nobody had the courage to intervene. Nobody, until a teacher came in.

     She was a tall and lanky woman, with long silky dark brown hair that were mostly swept to her right side. She teaches English and the social studies, as well as the eleventh grade’s homeroom teacher. She was far from the type of person everyone expected to break up fights, but there she was, approaching one of her homeroom students, who was also taller than her, and placed a hand gently on his shoulder. “Asa, that is enough,” she said. Her voice was eerily calm. “Pull him back in. Come on.”

     Asa gritted his teeth, but it was apparent that his aggression had been stopped by the teacher. His arms, however, still hadn’t moved. He had to get a message across. “I don’t care what business you have with my brother, but if I see your ugly mug around him again, I will throw you off a bridge, I swear to fucking god.”

     “Asa,” the teacher interjected again, her voice firmer.

     He pulled the other student in, granting him mercy from falling off the building, and just dropped him to the floor like a bag. Mars let go of his friends before the teacher told him to and the three of them started scurrying back to class. The teacher started telling the surrounding students to go back to their lunches before the bell rings. The crowd dispersed, though some male students were more reluctant to move, curious what would happen now that the fighting died down. Naomi also did not move; she needed to know what happened.

     Mars poked his head into the men’s bathroom. “Hey, how’s it going in there?” he asked.

     From inside, Kenji’s voice bounced out. “We’re okay. He’s okay. We’re coming out now.” And not long after, Kenji came out of the bathroom with a non-human boy beside him. He has blue skin, snowy white hair, and two horns on his forehead. His eyes possessed an eerie coloring: yellow pupils surrounded by black sclera. His face had black lines etched from under his eyes down his cheeks and another one on his forehead between his horns rectangular-shaped.

     People from outside the planet living among them was not a strange concept; it has been part of the history for a couple hundred of years. She had seen creatures much stranger than this blue-skinned boy, but still he was unique to her, despite having a very humanoid shape to him. He was the first of his kind she had ever seen. And apparently, he is the younger brother of this famously tall upperclassman that she had given lunch to earlier.

     “Stop coddling me, I’m fine,” said the blue-skinned boy whose name, Naomi recalled, was Glovar. A paper towel was shoved into one of his nostrils and one could spot some red on the paper towel in his nose.

     “You’re really lucky that you only got a bleeding nose out of that,” Kenji remarked. He smacked Glovar’s hand when he tried to pull the paper towel out. “Leave that be! You’ll spill blood everywhere! We need to get you to the nurse.”

     “I don’t need—”

     “Glo, just do what he says,” Asa interjected. He and the teacher both stared at Glovar, emphasizing the order with their gaze as well.

     “Alright, fine.” Glovar grumbled but complied. He allowed Kenji guide him to the nurse’s office, leaving Naomi, Mars, and Asa with the teacher.

     The teacher and Asa started talking with each other. “Asa,” she said, her voice much calmer and softer now, “you do know I have no choice but to take action on this.” Naomi wanted to listen in, but Mars tugged her out of the scene. She only managed to overhear, “I expect to see you in the principal’s office,” before the conversation faded the further she walked away.

     Naomi never saw Asa again after that commotion, but she was later properly introduced to Glovar and Folke, the youngest members of the group, both being in the grade below Naomi’s. However, the atmosphere had changed too much then; the group became less interested in conversing with Naomi and her friends, being more focused on their own members that, unbeknownst to them, they started to neglect the girls and growing distant. Naomi, Esh-baal, and Eve couldn’t help the growing distance; it must have been a trying time for them.

     Still, that did not stop Naomi from trying to maintain communication with them. At the end of the school day, she made her way to the principal’s office, where she found both Grim and Glovar outside of the office. Grim spotted Naomi standing in the corner and waved at her with a grin, Glovar following but with much less enthusiasm. Naomi tiptoed her way to them, her friends following behind her, and sat next to Grim.

     “How’s things going?” she asked, keeping her voice down.

     “The school had to call our parents and the other kids’ parents, and Pa is currently inside with Asa right now. It got almost hot, but it’s calmer now,” Grim answered, keeping a wry smile on his face. “Sorry you gotta see him blow up like that. Though, if you’ve been around this school since seventh grade, you should’ve known shit like this went off every once in a while. Well, maybe not so much in the beginning, but lately…”

     “You mean, this isn’t the first time he’s been called to the principal’s office?”

     “Nope,” both brothers answered. “And definitely won’t be the last. Not with that temper,” Glovar added.

     “Speak for yourself, Glo, you’re even worse.”

     “Oh…” Naomi twiddled her fingers. “I...I know there’s been a lot of fighting lately, but I always stayed out of the gossip. Violence makes me uncomfortable…”

     “If that’s the case, then you shouldn’t be getting too close to us,” Grim said, his expression much somber, but his thick dark lips remained smiling. “I’m not much of a fighter either. Even earlier I didn’t jump in, even though it was my own brother that got beaten up. Sometimes I help stopping Asa from throwing his fists, but only if I can manage it. I get anxious when things get too heated. The only reason I stick around is because he’s my brother and also my best friend. I can’t leave him alone. But you...you have no relations to any of us, so it’s better you stay out. I don’t mean to be rude, but it’s just, well, if violence really makes you uncomfortable, then we’re not the folks you should be hanging around with.”

     Naomi frowned but considered his words. While she was deep in thought, Esh-baal took her hand. “Let’s go home, Naomi. It’s getting late. Shouldn’t you be making dinner for you and your uncle?”

     “Oh, right…” Naomi stood, but rising slowly. Her emerald eyes exchanged gazes with Grim, who smiled at her again. She wanted to say something, but didn’t find her words. She followed Esh-baal’s tugging on her hand and soon left the brothers behind her. Soon they were out of the school area, her taller friends on both of her sides.

     “Naomi,” Esh-baal began, snapping her out of her thoughts, “I think Grim’s right. We shouldn’t talk to them anymore.”

     Naomi’s head whisked to the redhead, eyes widened. “But…”

     “Yeah,” Eve added, “In history class earlier, I saw the video of what happened, a kid in our class got it recorded. It’s awful, Naomi. I know Asa’s defending his brother, but did you see the way he’s threatening that other guy? If he’s got slippery fingers, someone could die!”

     Esh-baal nodded, agreeing to what the taller blonde said. “He also didn’t talk much during lunch and he doesn’t seem like he appreciated your cooking.”

     “That’s not true. He said thanks to me,” Naomi retorted, though her voice shrinking in volume.

     “Yeah, but Kenji and Grim had to push him to take your gift,” Esh-baal argued back. “At first, he didn’t even want to look at it. Being shy and awkward is fine, but he wasn’t just shy and awkward, he downright looked uncomfortable having us around. Look, the gang seems pretty cool, but I can tell they’re a bad crowd. You’re too nice to hang out with them, hun.”

     Naomi felt heavy in the chest. She felt she was forming a new friendship in her new year of school, but so soon it had to be taken from her. She understood why, but her heart wanted to rebel, but should she let it? Or should she listen to what the others told her to do? Maybe tomorrow she could give another chance to think. Maybe she needed some time to see how things will turn up…

     There’s a possibility that everyone is wrong about this...

Credits:

Naomi, Esh-baal, Eve created by: @ilovetempe

Silver might Vs Ghost Nanny!

It was only after 7pm on a Tuesday in the middle of November, but already it was dark out save for the street lamps in Metro city. It's youngest and newest Superhero was flying low because of the darkness which he claimed was because he didn't wanna risk running into anything, but other members of the league of super pal's joked it was because he was scared of the dark. At 13 year's old Trip Johnson knew he looked more like a 7 year old at a mere 4'6 and slim build.  his grey eyes were hidden behind the silver domino mask he wore and while his short spiky hair was on display, it was temporarily dyed black to keep people from recognizing his normally orangish red hair. He was of course in addition to the mask wearing the rest of his costume as The Silver Might. (Though again, his so called team mates like to call him the Silver Mite behind his back and even to his face) Wearing a pair of sky blue boots that came up to his calf's, he had a pair of Silver tights tucked into them that didn't leave much to the imagination and had gotten some comments about whether or not he was a boy or a girl when he had first started working. A Blue belt the same color as his boots was around his waist with SM in silver as the belt buckle, and it was actually the belt itself that allowed the little guy to fly, though he hadn't told anyone that. covering his upper body was full length silver shirt, with SM now in blue stenciled on his chest. On each hand was a blue glove that came up about two inches above the wrist. Completing his look was a knee length blue cape that billowed out behind him (he personally didn't care much for the cape himself, but when his mom had found out he wanted to be a hero and had made the costume , save for the belt, for him, well, he couldn't really complain) His powers were a mild form of the basic flying brick. He could reach a speed of 300 MPH, Lift up to 300 pounds and could tank small arms fire with ease but heavier fire power would leave a bruise and bombs would mess him up. The belt had been a gift from anther hero named Gear head (Mostly because Trip had started to cry when he'd gone far teasing him about whether or not he was out of pull-up's) Tonight the little guy had drawn the short straw so to speak and gotten stuck with the evening patrol and was trying to get it over as fast as he could since he still had math homework to do. 'I have to be the only superhero in the city to have to worry about failing math.' he thought and was ready to call it a night when he noticed a green flash coming for the old Mason place and groaned. 'Just my luck, the place had been abandoned for like 70 years and tonight, when I need to get stuff done, someone's raising heck in there.' he groaned mentally. The old house was a older Victorian looking place, three stories tall and a basement under it and for the most part was structurally sound though the last people to of tried living there hadn't even spent a full night, claiming the place was haunted. It was protected by a clause in the city by-laws that meant as long as the place wasn't falling apart and the lawn was maintained it sty standing and so volunteers from the local history buff chapter kept the law in tip top shape and replaced any broken windows caused by youths tossing rocks at the place. As he recalled the Masons had left the place when their son who had been 1 and a half or two had gone missing in the middle of the night though the boys nanny had stayed behind with their blessings hoping that the boy might someday returned, though she had died 2 years later, having never seen a sign of young Jackson Mason. Landing on the front lawn Silver Might gave the place a one over, the hair on the back of his neck standing up a little and for a second he thought about using his radio ear piece to call in back up. then he pictured Danger dame and megaton man finding out he'd been scared to go into a supposedly haunted house after dark and the teasing he'd have to endure for months. and worse, if it turned out there was nothing in it he'd NEVER live it down! wishing he'd listened to his mom and brought a flash light with him the pint sized hero made his way up the porch steps and went in the surprisingly unlocked front door. 'Please be nothing please be nothing please be nothing.' he pleaded silently as he walked in. the house wasn't as cobwebbed as one might expect, not was it as dusty or moldy smelling, something that the pint sized hero chalked up to the history buffs. he pressed his luck and turned to flick on a light switch but nothing happened and he gave a little sigh. "Oh of course not." he grumbled. as his voice filled the dead air in the place a sudden chill went though his spine despite the thermal protection his suit was suppose to give him and he found himself wrapping his cape around him as he shivered. "Hello? Is there anyone here?" he called out, then cursed himself mentally. 'Yes Trip, some evil villain hiding out or hoodlums having a party in here are totally going to answer your call. Instead you just warned anyone who's hiding in here that you're in here too.' even as he finished cursing himself a voice DID speak up. "Jackson? Jackson is that you?" Came the voice of a older lady. Trip wasn't so good at placing ages on voices yet but it definitionally didn't have a tone like any of the girls from his school, it was more like his math teachers tone and she was in her early 30's. Even as the voice rang out there was a green flash and as trip turned to face it, a women in her 30's though dressed like something out of Mary Poppins. She had started out in different shades of green that now took on a most fleshy appearance, milky white skin with her outfit being a mix of grey and black and white. She still gave off a eerie glow though and it let Trip see that her eyes were glowing a eerie green and her hair was brunette. "Holy. Crap. The place IS haunted!" Trip said, jaw dropping as he recognized the face from one of the local history classes. It was the nanny, a miss graven or something like that. "I say young man! I asked you a question!" the ghost asked and pointed a finger at him. Instantly a green glow went around Trip and he found himself not only unable to move, but being lifted up in the air and brought closer to the ghost. "P-Please don't hurt me!" Trip squeaked out as he got closer. "Young man I only punish naughty boys who do naughty things. Like ignoring the questions of their elders!" she scolded and wagged a finger. "Now again, Are you Jackson?" "No! No Ma'am I'm not! I'm a superhero named silver Might and i was just checking this place out and I'm very much not a naughty boy so please let me go and I'll never come back here again!" Trip said rapidly. One of his many many fears, aside from the dark and needles, was a fear of ghosts after his uncle had let him watch a scary movie when he was five. He'd wet the bed for a week and somehow it had linked in his head that ghost made his bladder fill up and right now his was getting dangerously full to the point if he'd been able to move, he'd be doing a potty dance. "Hmmm..I do believe you that your not Jackson, But I don't know about your claims not to be a naughty boy, or being a superhero hero. you're much too young to be the type, and I believe it's more likely your a naughty little boy out after dark playing dress up. Does your mommy know where you are?" Miss Graven asked, though she let him down on the floor relaxing her hold a little bit. Instantly he tried to dash away or turn on his flight belt, but neither did much and she vanished from in front of him and walloped his behind hard, making help yelp. It also made him do something else as the shocking pain made him lose control of his bladder and he started to helplessly wet himself. "Oh rude! trying to escape when I'm giving you a chance to explain yours- Ohhh I see, you were trying to run for the bathroom." The ghost scolded, then her voice softened. "you silly little boy, why didn't you tell me you needed to tinkle?" Trip whimpered in shame and pain as his cheeks still strung somehow from the force of the blow, and his pristine tights were now wet and smelly as he finished making a puddle. "i...I'm sorry." the mortified boy whimpered. "It's ok, I should of asked. little boys don't always know. Come on, let's get you all cleaned up and then you can spend the night here. I'm not about to let a little boy go running around in the streets at night." She said. "I..but..I need to get home." Trip said with a big swallow. "My..My mommy will be getting worried about me!" he added, drawing on what she had said before. "Hmmm, that's true. but i still can't send you home in your soggy pants." Miss graven said. "I'll get you all nice and clean and then I'll walk you home OK little guy?" she offered, smiling and now leaning in front of him and a little more tinkle came out. "W-whatever you say." Trip said and gulped. he was hoping that what little bit of ghost lore he had learned from Magic intern had been correct, that a ghost who haunted a house would be stuck in it, so any attempt to leave with Trip would have her stuck there and leave him free to flee. he thought about trying his com link and trying to call for help but the memory of her swat on his behind nixed that idea, he could play along at least for a little while. Miss graven smiled at how easy it was to get this little boy to behave, so much easier then those last brats who had bugged her awhile back, a group of unruly teenagers she'd been forced to spank them silly and warned them to keep their mouths shut about her or ELSE. she thought his little outfit was pretty silly, as was his story of being a hero but little boys were prone to flights of fancy and she'd have him in something much more fitting in short order. she made sure the little cutie held her hand as she lead the way to the bathroom, where with a flick of her wrist it went from the rub down non-working room it was to the fully functional and stylish (for it's time) bathroom it had been when she worked here. "H-Holy cow!" the little guy said, clearly impressed and she smiled. "Now 'silver might'." she said, semi humoring the boy. "I'm gonna need your proper name before i give you a bath and get you dressed." the boy blushed at that and squirmed. "A-A bath? as in..see me naked?" he asked, and amusingly covered himself even though he was still in his silly little costume. "I assure you, you don't have anything I haven't seen on any other little boy I've bathed." She assured him. "I..I uh.." he squirmed more and she raised a eyebrow. "My..mommy said other people aren't allowed to see me naked." the boy said finally. "Hmmm, well thats a good point normally, but I'm a nanny and I'm sure once I meet your mother she'll understand. Now, you can strip yourself or I can do it for you, but either way.." she let the threat hang in the air. trip mentally cursed, he'd thought for sure that would of worked but no go. Truth be told a bath DID sound good as the material that made up his suit mixed with urine was making him itchy, so after a long pause he started to take his suit off. "I also asked whats your name little guy? and how old are you." Miss graven said as he tugged his wet tights down, having already removed his boots. "Oh uh..It's Trip ma'am. Trip Johnson. and I'm 13." he said shyly, his belt and shirt coming off next, then his gloves and mask. "Hmm are you sure about that?" she asked with a little grin. he wasn't sure what she meant at first, then realized her eyes were studying his hairless tiny body and got a full body blush going. "I-I am! I'm just small for my age." he whined, then stopped as it really wasn't helping his case. "oh i see. and not quite as mature as you should be either, playing dress up and wetting yourself." the ghost added and despite himself trip pouted. "oh none of that, it's OK. Some boys just take longer to grow up then others." She said and picked him up under his arms and placed him in the old Iron tub, turning on the water. "I'm going to wash you first, then you may play for a little bit." she said getting a cloth and soap. as she moved in though she noticed the com link in his ears and reached down, pulling it out and frowning. "didn't your mommy teach you to keep things out of your ears?" she scolded. "S-sorry." Trip whined, worried she was gonna spank him for a second. "Sigh, it's OK. you're just a silly little guy." She said with a condescending smile, then crushed the com link with ease between her index finger and thumb 'So much for calling for help..and gear head is gonna rip me a new one for going though ANTHER com link...' Trip thought glumly. After getting trip washed nice and clean all over (which had produced some adorable squeaks from the little guy) Miss graven true to her word had put some toy boats and rubber duckies in the soapy bath water then sat on the loo to keep a eye on the immature lad. she was waiting to see just what he would do and would follow up with a course of action based on either choice. If he just relaxed in the tub and left the toys alone she'd clean his silly little costume and after getting him dried off and into a pair of training pants in case he had anther accident, she'd let him put on his silly little outfit and walk him home. If he played with the toys like she believed he would, it would confirm what she figured..he was just a toddler or big baby in a big boys body, and she'd dress him in a manner that matched while disposing of his silly little costume. It was clearly a bad influence on him anyways and then she'd take him dressed in some thick nappies and a toddler clothes home in a stroller. Trip looked at the toys and then over at Miss graven, and bit his lip. he really didn't wanna play with them but he also didn't wanna piss the ghost off. after a few seconds of trying to figure out what to do he decided to play it save and started to move the boats around, making little motor noises and she smiled at him. 'Guess i picked right.' He thought with a sigh of relief. As he played with the boats he found himself getting into it, and as such he missed the gesture she gave his costume sending it from the bathroom floor to a trash bin outside. he was actually started when she cleared her throat and smiled down at him. "I know your having lots and lots of fun little guy, but I think you've been in the tubby long enough." she said and with a gesture the plug was pulled and the water started to drain. "O-Oh..ok." he said sheepish. he wasn't even sure how long he'd been out of it, having fun like a little kid though he noted his costume was gone from the floor. "Um..Miss graven?" he asked, gulping. "Yes trip?" she asked, floating a towel over to her hands and then starting to dry him. "where did my costume go?" he asked. "Oh, it was so pee stained and smelly, I just tossed it out. I'm sure if your a good little boy for your mommy she'll get you anther." Miss graven said. "B-But that belt was super special and uh..one of a kind!" he whined. "ohhh some sort of collectors item?" Miss graven asked. "Y-yeah! it's from a show..called..silver Might and that's who i was dressed as. Mommy made me the costume but-" she cut him off with a warm smile. "Say no more." she said and the belt was back in the bathroom, to in her hand. "i'm glad you're finally telling the truth about your silly little outfit and I'm sure your mommy will make you anther one." she said and putting the belt over he shoulder she finished drying him. 'Ok..having to play along with her stupid game was embarrassing, but still, no way Gear head was gonna make me anther flight belt.' Trip thought. 'At least this is almost over and it can't really get any worse then this.' right as he thought that Miss graven wrapped him up in the towel and scooped him up into her arms, and it was liked he'd been swaddled like a new born as he squirmed a little. 'I just had to tempt fate didn't I?' He thought Carrying the little big boy to the nursery, Miss graven let the bathroom return to it's aged look and restored the nursery from it's run down appearance to back to it's prime, with the walls covered in pastel blue paint with pink rabbits stenciled in every few feet. the floor had a soft white carpet and had a big crib in one corner and a changing table and diaper pail in anther. there was a large closet that had been raided long ago before her magic had been worked and was now filled with diaper shirts and short-all that were all in trip's size, though she doubted the little guy had noticed that yet as he was busy looking at the stack of big bulky disposable nappies that were stored under the the table top of the changing table in little cubby holes with some dedicated to plastic pants as well. "M-M-Miss graven you're not..gonna diaper me are you?" Trip asked and started to struggle in her arms. but her ghostly might was more then up for the fast of holding him in place even if he was quite a bit stronger then she'd expected. "Such a clever little boy!" she coo'ed and taped a finger on his nose. Trip started to whimper and tears were forming in his eyes as she shook his head. "No no no no no! I'm not a baby! I'm a big boy! Please!" he whined and trembled in her arms. "Awwww trip it's OK little guy, I know your trying SO hard to be a big boy, but I don't want anther accident to happen on the way to your house." she said and kissed his forehead. "now I'm going to lay you down on the changing table and take the towel off, I want you to promise me you're going to be a good boy and stay there. I really don't wanna have to spank you trip, you've been such a good boy for me." She said. Trip couldn't believe it, she was gonna put him back in diapers and dress him like a big baby. if the rest of his team ever found out.. Still the threat of a spanking forced his hand and as much as he didn't wanna be put back in diapers she'd proven that all of his powers were useless against her. "I..I really don't wanna go back into diapers Miss graven. what if I promise to super try my hardest NOT to have a accident?" he tried. "heh, sweetie...it's not that i don't think you're trying your hardest to keep dry pants, I just don't wanna have to come back mid walk to change you again." Miss graven said. Trip whined and fussed, but slowly nodded. "I-If you have to..I guess..I promise not to try and run..it won't do me any good anyways." he said after a few minutes. "That's a VERY big boy thing of you to say." the ghost praised. as he was laid on the changing table and the towel unwrapped from around him, Trip was tempted for a second to push his luck. As soon as the thought came into his head he dismissed it, the ghost while stern and set on her ways was playing fair to a degree and wouldn't spank him if he kept his word. and he WAS a hero and had given his word so that wasn't something to broken easily. That being said, as she unfolded the thick crinkly diaper his bottom lip did start to tremble despite his best efforts and Miss Graven  sighed and produced a large pacifier and popped in his mouth. again his will power failed him as despite his best efforts he found himself nursing on the large rubber nipple in his mouth and... it was actually very soothing and he relaxed a little. "Sorry little one, I should of offered you a soother sooner." Miss graven said, then as a after thought she made a teddy bear from a toy chest against one of the walls come over and offered it to him. '...in for a penny, in for a pound.' Trip thought and took the teddy bear and snuggled it to his chest and closed his eyes. Watching the little guy snuggle the teddy and nurse on his soother, Miss graven knew she'd been right to diaper him and almost found herself wishing she could keep him here with her a little while longer. But she had agreed to take him home to his mother, who must be getting worried sick about here her little wanna be hero was. with the nappy under Trips cute little behind she sprinkled on lots a baby powder the tapped it up snugly, then followed up with a nursery print pair of plastic pants as she had never really trusted disposables but her employers had insisted as it would cut down on the stinky nappy smell kept around the house. Of course she'd had to use her supernatural powers to up the size of some things since even with trip being so tiny there was no way he'd of fit into Jackson's diapers and clothes but that was alright. Double checking the leg bands and the waist band of the plastic pants she picked up Trip and set him on her hip, letting him keep Mr.bear in his arms and the soother in his mouth as she moved over to the closet. Opening it up fully and showing him the array of outfits and smiled. "Since you've been SUCH a good little boy for me Trip, I'll let you pick what you wanna wear. You can take your soother out or just point." Trip was blushing again, but that was nothing new for the most part expect now that he had the big bulky diaper around his hips and was on her waist, a arm under his padded rear this felt kinda..right. worried if he took the soother out he'd start saying as much he scanned the closet nursing on it then finally pointed to a white shirt and blue jean coveralls combo, even though the front pocket on them had a big teddy bear stitched on it. "oh good choice!" Miss graven said and snapped a finger, the outfit instantly went from off of the hanger to being on him and he realized that what he'd thought was a t-shirt was some kinda diaper shirt from how sung the diaper got. with him all dressed, down to have a pair of white socks on and a blue pair of sneakers, with white laces on his feet, she took him over to a mirror. at some point she'd fashioned his unruly hair (no longer black but back to it's original color into a neatly combed look and when he looked at his reflection he saw just a big baby looking back at him. "What do you think? ready to go home and show your mommy your new outfit?" Miss graven asked and kissed his cheek. Smiling a little behind the paci in his mouth Trip nodded. getting down the stairs with the nursery going back to worn down as they left trip looked at the spot on the floor where he'd had his accident. It seemed like hours ago now with everything that had happened when really at most a hour had passed and it had been all cleaned up and was gone. Miss Graven set him on his feet as she summoned up a stroller, which at this point really didn't shock him. What DID shock him however was that with the added bulk around his hips that caused him to have a frankly rather large behind, he lost his balance within seconds and plopped on his butt. 'Guess it's a good thing she's gonna be using the stroller.' he thought as he rubbed the back of his head, looking up at her sheepishly. "Heh. Guess it's a good thing we're using this huh buddy?" she said, basically echoing his thought. he nodded and giggled a little as she set his belt in a little carrying area under the stroller along with a diaper bag, he raised his arms up to her as she turned her attention back to him. "..You really ARE too cute. I might have to ask your mommy to let you come over sometime." She gushed. The idea of coming back here would of been terrifying or too much to think about before, but now as he was getting used to all of this he nodded his head too, and suddenly was worried. "Uh, Miss graven?" he asked, pulling his soother out as she got him strapped into the large blue stroller. "Yes trip?" "..as a ghost you might not be able to leave the house." he said. "Heh, really? you think so?" she asked and lightly tapped his nose. "I'm only trapped in the house during the day little man, at night I'm free to roam. I'm guessing you're just bringing this up NOW because before that was your little escape plan huh?" Trip looked down, but nodded looking and feeling very ashamed of himself. "Awww it's OK. you just hadn't accepted what you are at that point. it's all good." She said and tickled his chin. Trip gave a happy giggle and then popped his paci back in as she wheeled them out the door, wondering exactly just how he was going to explain this all to his mom when they got to his place, but then realized that Miss graven would handle it all. He was after all, just a silly little baby. with that happy thought he snuggled Mr.bear and drifted off to sleep.

Powerpuff Girls 2016 - “Buttercup Vs. Math”

Written by: Haley Mancini

Written & Storyboarded by: Jaydeep Hasrajani, Leticia Abreu Silva

Directed by: Nick Jennings, Bob Boyle

Yeah, that's the fight we all wanted to see.

The episode starts with the rascally little green princess skating across the school, racing against her best friend, Maylyn! If you don’t remember, she’s the leader of the Derbytantes, the somewhat-villains-turned-friends-of-Buttercup from Princess Buttercup. While the toyline treats them as villains to throw burgers at, in the show, they’re more of a bad influence than anything else.

Maylyn: Whoever gets to (mocking tone) math class first gets to be the baddest girl in school!

Buttercup: And the first to call Blossom a nerd?

Oh, that loving sister she is! They play up on how Maylyn and Buttercup are totally bad people who don’t care about math, and pick on other people who do. They skate across their bodies, and Buttercup even tears Barry's head off!

A paper mache Barry made for show-and-tell, that is. With this and the mermaid bit in Summer Bummer, they're really upping the fake-out civilian death scenes. After that bit of roller derby, Ms. Keane shows up to tell Buttercup that she can never step foot in her class again. After getting praise for her apparent explusion from Maylyn, Ms. Keane gives Buttercup the real reason: she tested into honors math!

Yes, the rascally little green princess that was always shown to be a problem child is an honors student in math! Blossom takes her hand, knowing fully well that, as the nerd of the Puffs, she too will join Buttercup in her honor to be among the smartest mathematicians in the school. Ms. Keane makes a small correction, subverting their and our expectations.

Ms. Keane: Sorry, Blossom, you tested into regular math. For everyone else!

Bubbles: Hey, I’m everyone else!

(small fart sound)

As far as I can tell, that wasn't another Bubbles fart gag. Maybe it represents the brainfart this twist was.

This does makes me think back to Viral Spiral, which has a similar theme with a girl getting into a STEM field one would think Blossom would be into. Quite a few people were taken aback by Bubbles being the programming genius. I assumed that they gave Bubbles the ability to program to make programming seem less like something only nerds like Blossom take a part in. Math does not get the same treatment in this episode.

Another big difference is that Buttercup isn't too happy about her newfound genius. Why should she hate being better than Blossom at something most people would think she wouldn't be? Her being seperated from her sisters? No, it's because she's worried that her roller derby friends will see her as a nerd! She reassures Maylyn that it's just a class and that she'll still be the baddest girl in school, but she doesn't buy it.

Not helping matters is that her class is filled with stereotypical nerds who chant that Buttercup is a "math queen". Not only is Buttercup being cheered on by nerds, she's being called something one regal step away from "princess". One of them does this whole bit where he calls his chewed up pencil a "mathemagical wand", which causes Buttercup to tell him to "just not". Yeah, take that, you math-loving nerds. Also, please get into math!

Originally, I thought that this episode was going to be a ripoff of Bart the Genius, and that Buttercup actually cheated her way into this class. The teacher puts up a complicated geometry problem.

Buttercup initially refuses, trying to keep her status as a bad girl, causing the rest of the students to start randomly shouting out numbers like this is a game of Numberwang. After everyone else gets into a frenzy, Buttercup off-modelly screams out the correct answer: 5. Not a lucky guess, either; she did it all in her head. Not an answer that would work in a real world that expects shown work, but they still do the "math queen" chant anyway.

So no, not Bart the Genius. It's Buttercup the Suddenly-Out-Of-Character Actual Genius. Even in the show, Buttercup is disgusted by that, though for different reasons.

At the dinner table, Bubbles and Professor keep the chant going, to the annoyance of Buttercup. To my surprise, Buttercup brings up Bubbles being a "computer geek". Bubbles takes out her notes and attempts to explain how computer geeks and mathmaticians are different, until Buttercup eye lasers them in what seems like a rare occurence of her using a power they once said was exclusive to her. Maybe they couldn't find a way past the fact that most Computer Science degrees require higher math as well.

Meanwhile, Blossom desperately studies to try to gain back her title as the Puff's "math queen". Of course, in a way that makes Blossom look level-headed in this situation.

Blossom: There must have been a mistake! Ask me anything! ANYTHING!

Bubbles: What’s 2 + 2?

Mutant Hair Beast Blossom: FOUR, THE ANSWER IS FOUR!

Blossom is made out to be a pinhead because she's studying. I mean, Blossom could have done the right thing and just suddenly know everything like Buttercup! This starts a subplot, as she spends the rest of the episode reading math books.

While the Professor is driving the Puffs to school, Buttercup tries her best excuses to get out of this math class. She complains that her hair is too messy, and she can't see the whiteboard! The Professor gets an idea, much to Buttercup's chagrin.

It doesn’t work out, as the Professor helps her eyesight with glasses, and combs back her hair, turning her into another accessory for potential dress-up dolls.

Not helping matters is when four of the Derbytantes show up to see Buttercup’s new image. Buttercup wants to be accepted by these bad influences, but the bad influences don’t want to be friends with a nerd. At this point, they made their decision.

Maylyn: Whoever gets to lunch first gets to be the baddest girl in school! ...and call Buttercup a nerd!

Buttercup gets trashed by people she considered friends, and she still considers them friends. Buttercup angrily throws her math book in the garbage, vowing to never do well at math again. Barry then shows up to throw his uranium he brought to school in the garbage, the mixture turning the entire school into graph paper. The closest this episode gets to making sense!

It also spawns an evil Isoceles triangle named Isosceles! He wants to bring order to the universe by turning everyone, from The Mayor, to puppies, to even Bubbles into numbers for his massive equation! Blossom decides to put her studying to the test and takes a look at Isosceles' huge math problem. She looks at all the variables, uses all of her smarts, and...

...she gets the wrong answer. The monster even turns her into a 0, as if this is some sort of karmic revenge for her heinous crime of studying. That’s pretty much the end of the Blossom subplot; Blossom studies so hard and yet she's a zero in the end. It's sad to see my favorite by default get the shaft, but maybe not too sad. She was kind of a jerk.

After that, this episode becomes yet another tally to the board of “times Buttercup had to save her damsel-in-distress sisters”. It’s fine for the lesson learner to have to save the day by herself, and Buttercup being the rascally little green princess, she tends to be one even with lessons she’s already learned, like "don't succumb to peer pressure".

It takes take her a little while to figure out how to deal with this situation. Her first plan is to crack this equation with her fists! Silly Buttercup, that trick never works! At this point, the Puffs should just stop attempting to end fights prematurely, because everyone knows what's going to happen next. The question isn't even about if Buttercup is able to succeed, but how badly she will fail.

In this case, very badly. It’s not only a Monster Punch, Girls Down, but a Monster Punch, Girl Bruised, too! I wanted to see more people getting bruised in this action-comedy show that's a reboot to an action-comedy show that had villains getting bruised seemingly once an episode, but I don't think this is what I thought.

As violence wasn’t the answer, Buttercup has no choice but to show off her math skills. Buttercup puts on her math crown, and prepares to...

...“nurd 0ut”! I was going to point out that they mispelled nerd, but nurd is an actual alternate spelling. Why they spelt out with a 0? Maybe they just thought they had to throw a number in there because math. For Buttercup, Isosceles shoots his arms out with various math problems for Buttercup to solve. Gotta say, Isosceles is giving Buttercup an easier time than Blossom, who had this rediculously large equation to solve.

Buttercup: Time to solve for x!

I may not be a math king, or even a math jester, but you can't! There's no equals sign! x could be any number, and the fraction would still be valid! This was probably supposed be some sort of quip before an action scene, but considering this problem and the answer they give for it, the quip should have been:

Buttercup: Prepare to be simplified!

It's just as cheesy, but I think that's what they were going for.

With each math problem, she draws up the answer with her “mathemagical wand”. She doesn't call it that, as she does have her limits. This seems to be their attempt to make math more fitting for Buttercup's character, as she swings her pencil to throw the numbers as projectiles.

This battle of math is finished off with a pi grenade, the school goes back to normal, and the untransformed students start raining from the roof. After saving the day, everyone cheers Buttercup. Even Blossom got over her jealousy, accepting her fate as the non-"math queen".

Buttercup: I guess I’m good at math and punching!

Yeah, how did punching go again?

Oh yeah, like that.

Despite this, Buttercup gets a new nickname: "Mathlete". Buttercup doesn't seem to hate it as much, probably because there's nothing regal and/or feminine about it. Ultimately, Buttercup learns it’s okay to be good at math, even if she wants to be a bad girl. Speaking of which...

The Derbytantes show up, not to end Buttercup's friendship that they don't deserve, but reveal that they were only bullying math nerds because they’re not good at math. They instantly become good again so that Buttercup can be their tutor. See, that bully was bullying you for having glasses because they want glasses. I don't buy it.

The episode ends with Buttercup still in that honors math class, seperated from her sisters. Who wants to bet they'll forget about that? I'd imagine it'd be a pretty safe one.

Does the title fit?

Buttercup does, indeed, fight a giant mathematical monster. It also has a slight double meaning with Buttercup’s resistance to her status as the “math queen”. It also accurately shows that only Buttercup gets to fight anything in this episode and in most of the show.

She never really does punch numbers like the title card seems to suggest, though.

How does it stack up?

As suggested before, this episode reminded me of Viral Spiral. It shows a Powerpuff Girl getting into a STEM field, this time focusing on the M rather than the T or E. It's a little harder to make doing math look like a superheroic act than programming in fish guns, but they way they did it here is good enough. The idea was done better in Divide and Conquer, but that's not a surprise.

This episode feels far more forced than Viral Spiral. I guess they couldn't give Bubbles two STEM fields to be an expert in, and it would be too predictable for Blossom to be the math wizard, but the episode doesn't do a good job convincing me that Buttercup could be a great mathematician. To me, her battle with math looks more like Buttercup trying to reject this new character trait the writers are forcing onto her.

Your mileage may vary, but to me, this episode can go to 7734.

Next week, Blossom goes to camp! Will she get scared stupid? Find out next week!

← The Bubbles-Sitters Club ☆ Home, Sweet Homesick →

When Time Stops

So... I tried to write a thing... a cute little Japril AU thing! This is one of my favorite AU concepts, so I decided to try it out. It’s not just a College AU, but, you’ll see! I am fairly new to Grey’s and I haven’t written in a long time, so please bare with me. I hope you all like it! Enjoy!

Note: This story revolves around time, so the time you see (00:00:00:00) is for hour, minutes, seconds, milliseconds.

"Arizona! I - I am not wearing that!" I huff in exasperation as I stare at myself in the full body mirror hanging on the wall where Arizona is holding a slim black dress up to me. I turn around and eye the pile of clothes that she made me try on this morning. I shove them off my bed before I sit down with my back against the wall. There has to be at least twenty outfits strung across both our beds and several pairs of shoes thrown all over the floor of our cramped dorm room.

She rolls her eyes at me before she explains, "Come on, April! It's the first day of classes and you need to look nice! Plus, your timers almost up! First impressions are everything, April. You know that."

Her statement catches my attention and causes me to glance at the alarm clock on my dresser.

8:15 a.m.

Arizona walks over to me and yanks on my wrist. She has always been a lot more interested in my timer, since hers has been frozen since she hit puberty. Bold, black numbers stare back at both of us as the timer on my wrist ticks away.

09:50:15:43

We both sit there quietly as we do the math in our heads. I only have 9 hours and 50 minutes left. 6:05 p.m. That is what it counts down to. At 6:05, my life changes forever.

“It’s 6:05. That’s the time on your wrist.” She eventually determines and I just shake my head. I was never really interested in figuring it out and it used to be so high that it wasn’t worth trying. Some people took the time, but I didn’t. Arizona would’ve been one of those people, had she gotten the chance. Now she lives vicariously through me.

“Will you please at least wear something decent? It’s a special day! I know you don’t really care but, if not for you, do it for me!” She gives me her best pouty face and then goes to pick out another outfit from her closet.

“I’m just going to wear jeans and a t-shirt, AZ.” I tell her, but she doesn’t listen to me.

“You wear that every day. Don’t tell me you were planning on wearing those ratty converse, too,” She spins around towards me and catches the guilty look on my face, “April! Can you please try to act excited! This is important for your future!”

“And I appreciate this but I just want to be myself. So he-“ Arizona glares at me, so I correct myself, “or she- should see me how I am on a normal day. I don’t want to give a false impressions either.” I explain to her as I slip on my light blue skinny jeans. She nods and stays quiet. I assume she finally agreed with me, at least enough to not press me any further. I continue getting ready while she occupies herself. I go to put on my favorite baggy t-shirt with our school logo, but I see her frown at me from the doorway. Instead, I reach for the flowy, maroon tank top piled on the bed to please her. I put on my white converse before I deem myself ready to go. As I pass the mirror, I check my appearance and attempt to control my unruly red curls.

“Should I do something with my hair?” I wonder out loud. I grab a hairbrush to comb it out, but before I get the chance, Arizona has already offered to braid it back for me. She quickly fixes it up and I look at the clock again.

9:10 a.m.

“Oh crap! We need to go or we are going to be late!” Arizona grabs her stuff and ushers me to the door.

I take a deep breath as we rush out of the room. Anxiety starts to fill my body and butterflies bounce around my stomach as it finally hits me. I realize how unprepared I actually feel about what is supposed to happen today. I don’t now how act when my timer hits zero! What do I say? How am I supposed to feel? What if nothing happens? Ok, don’t freak out. I start breathing slowly, in and out, to calm myself down. This is a big moment, but that doesn’t mean it has to ruin my day. This is my first last day of college, and I’m not going to let it determine what my day is like. Today sets me up for the rest of senior year. It doesn’t depict how my day is going to go, just how it ends.

Just how it ends.

That wasn’t a very comforting thought.

“Earth to April,” Arizona waves her hand in front of my face, and only then do I realize I have stopped walking, completely captivated by my thoughts, “We need to walk quickly so we don’t show up late to microbiology.” She informs me and then we continue across campus to the science building.

9:30 a.m.

Microbiology.

That’s the class you have to take as a first semester senior on the pre-med track. Why must it be this early in the morning? No one’s paying any attention to the poor professor, but it’s syllabus week, and we all know we won’t be doing anything important.

“Hard to stay a wake isn’t it. I had her last semester. It doesn’t get any better, trust me.” The boy beside me whispers to me and I laugh at his remarks, “I’m Matthew.”

“April.” I smile at him and shake his outstretched hand.

Arizona watches our interaction from her seat behind me with a smirk on her face.

“What are you staring at?” I whisper to her as I lean back in my seat.

She leans forward to get closer to me, “If only you had met him a little later. Right day, wrong time. He’s perfect for you.”

I roll my eyes and turn my attention back to the professor. Matthew continues to make little comments about the way she pronounces certain words, or the way she paces in front of the board with a marker in hand, but has yet to write anything.

10:45 a.m.

She finally dismisses class after what seems like a century and Arizona, Matthew and I practically run out of the door.

“You’d think she would do more than read directly off of the paper she handed out.” Arizona quips.

Matthew chuckles, “Just wait until we have lecture. She reads directly off the slides too. It’s unbearable.”

I scoff and roll my eyes. Sometimes it’s very hard to pay attention to those types of professors, “At least she teaches, I guess!” I try to sound optimistic and Matthew grins widely at me.

We walk along the sidewalk in the quad until I reach the building for my next class.

“Looks like this is my stop.” I wave bye to Matthew as he walks away from us. I turn to Arizona, “Save me a seat by you in lab!” I call after her and she bobs her head in response.

I spin around and hurry up the stairs so I can get to my next class and get a good seat. I’d like to think I’m a good student. I had a 4.0 GPA in high school, and though I haven’t kept it perfect recently, it’s been pretty close! I had to keep it that way so I could get into med school next fall. Yeah, I said med school. I met Arizona my freshman year here, in the pre-med program. We instantly clicked when we met and we have been roommates for three years now. We’re even planning on applying to the same schools for med school. She’s practically my other half, as a best friend.

My other half.

06:35:00:12

My wrist reads as I go in to my next class of the day.

11:30 a.m.

The class starts and I zone out knowing that in a few short hours my time will be up. I don’t bother getting to know anyone in the class, because I see no point. I nod along to the professor as she tells us what to expect this semester and all that syllabus week bull crap.

After we get dismissed, I quickly grab lunch by myself at the café by the science building while Arizona is in class.

I check my phone.

12:30 p.m.

I have an hour to kill before my biology lab so I hang around the café and sip on some coffee while I wait. I need to be around people today. I don’t want to be alone with my thoughts because the ticking time bomb on my forearm fills my mind at all times. I play around on my computer until I realize its time to leave.

1:30 p.m.

I spot Arizona in the second row when I enter the room. I take the seat beside her at the lab table and she immediately looks at me, “How much time left?”

I show her my wrist even though I know she already knows the answer.

04:25:00:22

I glare at her in annoyance and she apologizes, “I’m sorry! You know why I’m like this.”

I immediately regret my rudeness towards her excitement for me. She will never experience this moment. She won’t know the feeling of the timer reaching zero. Her timer is frozen. It froze in some freaky accident when she was in high school. Sometimes that happens, however, it’s rare. The timers’ people were born with glitch and stop working. Sometimes, they freeze and randomly start working again. In rare cases, they freeze because your soul mate was matched with two people, and met the other one first. I have hope for her and the latter, even though she gave up a long time ago.

3:00 p.m.

Lab was over. It’s the first day and they have already having us jump right in. Something about being a senior and how we “should already be prepared for this.”

“I will come back to the room after my last class. Please, go freshen up at least?”  Arizona begs me and I just laugh at her.

“But AZ, I want to go back and rest! I still have at least three hours!” I complain and pout.

She rolls her eyes at my act but cracks a smile, “Ok, fine. But when I get back in an hour, I’m fixing your stringy hair. Use your time wisely!” She throws her words over her shoulder as we walk in opposite directions.

“Apes!” Arizona enters our room and slams the door, “I am so hungry! Let’s go to dinner! Maybe your timer will run out while we are there!” I can see that she’s getting just as anxious as I am. This may be my moment, but as I said, it’s kind of hers too.

I look at the clock for the thousandth time today. Stupid time and its strange hold it has over us. It’s a man made concept yet we act as if it runs our lives.

5:05 p.m.

“AZ, it’s barely five o’clock. No one but old people go to dinner at this time!” I laugh at her, but I know why she wants to go. I only have an hour left.

01:00:00:00

I sigh and then set my laptop on the desk beside my bed.

“Alright, let’s go to dinner. I’m hungry too.” I stand up from the bed and grab her arm. I can feel her bursting with joy. I just know she thinks my timer will stop while we are in the dining hall.

5:20 p.m.

It takes us 15 minutes to eat all our food, but we wait around and talk anyway. After a few minutes, no new people come in and I lose faith that this is my lucky spot. Arizona has left me to talk to a couple of her other friends from the pre-med program, ones who I don’t particularly associate with, but I know them. I decide to take a stroll along the quad because the weather was unbelievably amazing and nice. I fidget as I make it back to my building. It wasn’t quite time yet so I decide to just awkwardly stand there. It was inching closer to 6 o’clock and I was getting anxious. I take a peek at my timer just to see how long I had left.

00:10:00:00

“April! Hey!” I turn my head as I hear a familiar voice.

“Oh, hey! Matthew, right?” I smile at him as he walks towards me. We stop on the sidewalk right outside my dormitory to talk. I bounce on the balls of my feet in anticipation.

00:05:00:00

I nervously watch my wrist as Matthew talks to me.

00:01:00:00

This can’t be it. I already met Matthew today. He can’t be it, can he? The universe doesn’t mess these types of things up. I try to look for his timer on his wrist for a sense of confirmation that this wasn’t happening.

00:00:30:00

His long sleeves cover up too much of his arm, so I can’t see even a hint of black numbers. My hope is dwindling as Matthew drones on. I zone out. I feel bad about being disappointed, but I can’t help it. I was expecting a real connection or a heart stopping moment.

00:00:15:00

As my mind starts trying to make sense of it all, I hear Matthew faintly call my name.

“April…”

00:00:10:00

“April?”

00:00:05:00

“April.” Matthew repeats, his voice wavering.  His attempt fails to catch my attention.

00:00:04:00

“April! Watch out!” He yells right in my ear. This time I look up at him but I react too late.

00:00:03:00

Before I know it, my feet are being swept out from under me as a dog darts between us.

00:00:02:00

Everything turns to a blur as I brace myself for the fall that never comes. A strong hand grips my arm as I come face to face with my savior.

00:00:01:00

I keep my eyes closed tightly knowing it was Matthew who grabbed my arm in attempt to keep me balanced. Warmth instantly spreads throughout my body, head to toe. My arm gets tingly from the contact and my breath catches in my throat.

As I slowly open my eyes I whisper, “Zero,” but it’s not Matthew I see when I open them all the way. I’m met with the most beautiful, crystal blue eyes staring back at me. Everything around me seems to move in slow motion, but all I see is he. My eyes are glued to his mesmerizing ones as he sets me up straight.

“I’m so sorry. I was walking my friend’s dog when he suddenly got away from me,” His eyes suddenly widen as he realizes the dog is still running further and further away, “Oh crap! I have to go catch him!” He takes off running again.

“Wait!” I’m jolted out of my daze when I remember that I didn’t even catch his name, “What’s your name?” I holler at him.

He’s pretty far away and I barely catch when he yells back, “Jackson! What’s yours?”

I smile and respond, “April!”

I’m not sure if he heard for a few minutes until the dog comes passing by a few seconds later with Jackson in toe. He looks up at me one last time and says, “I guess I’ll see you around then, April.” He smiles gorgeously over his shoulder at me as he jogs away.

That was the moment everything had been leading up to. My timer was counting down for this. All the stories we heard growing up about our timers were true. That moment was it. When you meet your soul mate, that was when time stops. Jackson. He made time stop.

Big Family Minimalism

This is a guest post from my friend Jillian. It dawned on me, recently, that I don’t think I’ve ever had a guest post about family. Jillian is changing that in a BIG and meaningful way.

I never searched out minimalism. Rather, I stumbled upon it first as a type of survival tool. Our story is a bit of a winding and twisting journey. But our minimalism story starts 3.5 years ago, while I was sitting in a job interview and honestly killing it. The interviewers were over the moon happy to hire me on the spot, but I was distracted. I was trying to hold focus on the interview, but my phone was exploding with text messages and missed calls.

See, while I was interviewing my heart out, a 5-year-old boy with big hazel eyes had just been dropped off at our house by a social worker. He had been in foster care for a while and had disrupted from the last 5 homes. (This happens when foster parents or the birth family aren’t able to meet the child’s needs and a new family has to be found.) The social worker was rather confident we couldn’t handle him either. I have soft eyes and a sweet smile that hides the depth of my love, tenacity, and gumption. She mentioned, almost offhandedly, he also had two little sisters. No other family had been able to keep them together and the “state” didn’t want to attempt to place them together again. I just smiled my sweet smile and said, “Well, we aren’t every other family. When you are ready, we are ready for anything.”

It was lie. No one is ever fully ready. His little sisters moved in a few months later. I quit my job. I lived at the end of my rope for the next year.

Having four little kids at home is a lot (6, 5, 2 and 1). Just that alone. But it wasn’t just that. There were 12 appointments a week of various meetings, therapies, and with professionals. There were difficult visits with birth parents. There were court dates and a rotating door of overworked social workers. There were lawyers, judges, and court-appointed advocates. There was the uncertainty of not knowing what the future held for these kids I loved so much.

Plus, there were these sweet kids. They had seen so much trauma and neglect in their short lives that every behaviour was broken. I had the skill, knowledge, tools, and love that was needed. But I was exhausted. Like lay on the floor at night after I tucked them in and cry silent, hot tears exhausted. Until their nightmares started. Every one-to-two hours during the night for 3 years.

It’s all too much. A life at the end of our rope.

We were all at the ends of our rope. While it was challenging to be the ringleader of this circus, it wasn’t any easier for my kids. The two-year-old had lived with 5 different families before us. She called me and her birth mom, mama. They had to be dragged to appointments and meeting after meeting. They had their own trauma and no skills or words to express what they were feeling.

Just getting them ready for the twice-weekly visits with birth parents would nearly break us. They were excited, terrified, overwhelmed, full of dread, happy, conflicted: all at the same time. So they hit each other, melted down, took off their clothes, bit each other, screamed, hid and lost their coats. It was like dressing a whole litter of pissed off kittens into costumes and taking their picture. I would arrive to drop the kids off at the visit only to be criticized, belittled or ignored by the birth family. I would smile my sweet smile then go cry alone in my mini-van.

The foster care process isn’t easy or fun for anyone—not foster parents, not kids and not birth families. They lived in a constant state of anxiety not knowing if they would be with us for the next birthday, or at Christmas, or when school starts. No one knew.

So minimalism found us.

I imagine most people start with minimalism with their stuff. Decluttering and all. Maybe they read an awesome blog, or hear a podcast, and think “I SHOULD get rid of some of this stuff!”

I needed it in every area of my life, all at once. I dubbed 2015 the year of “Easier, not harder”. That was my only litmus test. Is this easier or harder?

I stopped wearing color because I didn’t have the time or skill to coordinate outfits.

I said no, and opted out of most of my commitments that were, in fact, optional.

I pulled my kids from sports.

I ate the same breakfast every single day.

I told all my kids teachers we weren’t doing any homework. ANY. No signing reading charts, no math worksheets, no flashcards. We aren’t doing it. I’m not signing it. Honestly, I’m not even going to look at it. I was so thankful for what the teachers were doing at school, but I couldn’t add “teacher” to my list of things to squeeze into our evenings.

I had to set boundaries with professionals. “No, I can’t change our appointment time every single week. Either keep our set time, or we skip it.” With 12 appointments on the calendar, having them all shift by 30 minutes or 2 hours IS a big deal.

I had to learn minimalism in my relationships. Most people were incredibly supportive, encouraging, and really understood the importance of what we were doing. And some people . . . didn’t. I didn’t have any leftover emotional energy to hear, “Why are you doing this? Why don’t you just give them back? The system is so broken, you shouldn’t have to put up with this. It’s fine if you want those kids in your family, but even if you adopt them, it doesn’t mean they are part of our family.”

I started owning the fact that I live in a real human body that needs food, water, exercise, and sleep. I started to accommodate those seemingly unreasonable demands of my non-robot body.

Bit by bit, we were doing better. Not just surviving with our nose barely above the waves, but almost flourishing.

Then in the same week in June 2015: We were officially asked to adopt our kids, and we found out we were pregnant.

Enter minimalism, level ninja.

I’ll admit, I had a bit of a mommy meltdown when I found out we were pregnant. Sure, we had spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on fertility treatments over the years. Sure, we had tried for 7 years. But now? Adding a baby definitely didn’t fall into my “easier, not harder” motto.

We had been shopping for a bigger house. We were a family of 6 in 1,650 cozy square feet. A bigger house seemed to make sense. Every single person who came to our house echoed the words, “So when are you moving to a bigger place?” like it was the chorus line in a Disney movie.

But the saying “a baby changes everything” is true.

Turns out, we didn’t want more and bigger. Our entire life already felt “more and bigger”. We wanted less. Actually, we all needed less.

Less clutter. Less cleaning. Less overwhelm. Less hectic.  Less appointments.

We needed margin for the right kind of more. More engagement. More quiet. More stories and cuddles. More adventure. More travel. More time in the garden. More focused time. More creativity.

More stuff and more space weren’t going to give us any of that.

We donated 50% of the kid’s toys, and decided to only keep 3 out at a time to play with. And I saw the kids settle in. Instead of the anxiety, overwhelm, fighting, and frustration they felt when confronted with a massive heap of toys, they just played. Slowly, carefully, thoughtfully with one toy. There was no cleaning up, correcting, and prompting at the end of the night. Each child set one toy on a shelf and it was over. That one simple change freed up a mountain of emotional and relational energy.

I made it a mission to touch every item in our house. I would ask a few questions. Is this a “hard-working” item, or is it “lazy”? Because we didn’t have space for lazy items. Our home couldn’t be a storage unit for barely used items. I would ask, “If I didn’t already own this and saw it at a yard sale for $5 would I buy it instantly, and with joy?” Because if it doesn’t add $5 of value, it doesn’t deserve a place in our home.

Minimalism is an act of faith at first. We paired our life down—appointments, relationships, classes, sports, commitments, stuff—with no guarantee of a better outcome. There was no promise in writing that what we would gain would be better than what we were letting go of.

You pull your kid from a sport and just hope. Hope that the extra two hours a week somehow adds as much value as the sport was adding. It takes a bit a faith to hold space. To create margin and not rush to fill it up again.

We got rid of “perfectly good” toys. (Ok, and a crap ton of McDonald’s happy meal toys.) It’s an act of faith to say, “We are going to donate all these ‘perfectly good’ toys that at one point we actually spent money on,” and just hope that “less is more”.

To the parents.

I kind of just want to give you a hug, at this point. I’ve raised six kids (my oldest passed away). I have to say that motherhood, in the thick of it, is the hardest and most beautiful part of my life. It has been my defining work.

So, if you feel like your kids will kick, scream, and cry themselves into a puddle, if there were less toys, less classes, less sports, less commitments. Remember this: If you are maxed out, they are maxed out.

My very normal kids hate picking up toys. Actually, I think they hated it even more than I did. They hated being corralled into the van. They hated the rush and my grumpy “Where in the world are your shoes!? Why are they in the bathtub? Can anyone answer me this!?! WAIT!?! Why are you covered in purple paint? OMG, I don’t even care. Come on. We are SO late. Please, please, please just put your shoes on.”

Despite what it seems, minimalism is a perfect fit for families. Here is how we started this journey with the toys. (Because no one likes living in a house that looks like a daycare crossed paths with a tornado!) I had this conversation with my four kids who at the time were 3-8:

“I think I haven’t been doing a good job. I think maybe I’ve made it too hard for you guys to pick up your room. The job is simply too hard. And that’s my fault. So here’s what we will do. You pick up as many toys as you can handle. Then I will come clean up the rest. I’ll put them away on this special toy shelf. Anything you can take care of, just pick up and you can keep that in your room. The only rule is, only keep as much as you can handle. If it gets to be too much for you to take care of on your own, I’ll come put it away.”

They managed to clean/organize about 5 toys. All the rest I took out of their room and put on a “toy shelf” that they could swap toys (if their room was clean).

It also made it simple to see what toys we could sneak away in the dark of night. If they hadn’t picked the toy off toy shelf in a few months, obviously it wasn’t a high-value toy. (If your 4-year-old willingly parts with toys, I salute you, dear Jedi Master! We are SO not there yet!)

For parents who are terrified to start, this is about an easy of a sell as you can get. And my kids loved it. No shame, no blame. Just me making their life easier. No more cleaning, no more tears over not being able to organize their room.

Big family minimalism.

When you walk into our home, “minimalism” might not be your first thought. Nothing, and I mean nothing, is white (even stuff that was white when we bought it!). There is a pile of shoes and coats and winter boots by the door. It’s loud with laughing, playing, and often someone is crying. I’m probably making chocolate chips pancakes. I’ll make you a cup of tea, but a toddler will interrupt our conversation every 90 seconds.

But if you look closely, you’ll see a family flourishing with less. Happy, healthy and whole. Our days are full of reading, writing, folding laundry, hiking, gardening, and travel. We eat real food, at a table. We have adventures on the weekend and a game night each Friday. We get enough sleep and have real conversations.

Sometimes I let myself wonder what our alternate life would look like. What path our three adopted kids might have taken if they didn’t end up together with us? But I don’t stay there long. Because my 90 seconds is up and a 4-year-old is peppering me with questions again (that I have already answered 12 times today).

Jillian drinks tea daily and writes about intentional lifestyle design, mini-retirements and creating financial freedom over at Montana Money Adventures. She lives in Montana, right by Glacier National Park, with her husband, 5 kids, and dog: cheesy taco. 

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By and Hay’s Excellent Adventure--Part I

Haley Braddock is pretty much my best friend. Well, let me rephrase that. Haley Braddock is pretty much my only friend.

Oh, sure, I count my own brothers as friends, but that’s mostly by default. We shared a womb, so we’ve always liked to spend a lot of time together. But these days, they’ve grown kinda tiresome. They only talk about two things: 1) girls and 2) how they’re going to get into those same girls’ pants. Gets pretty boring after a while, especially since neither one of them is getting anywhere with the second.

And I do have other friends. It’s just that they’re mostly Adam and Jordan’s friends, and that I’m only on their friends lists because we’re a trio. If Robby or Shane or Dan were to list their friends, with their best friends at the top, they’d list Jordan and Adam near the top somewhere. Then they’d get to the end of the list, and go, “Oh, yeah, and Byron, I guess.” In other words, when they call the house, they’ll ask for one of my brothers and then maybe invite me along on whatever shenanigan they’re planning to pull, but they never ask to speak to me.

But Haley is different. And I don’t just mean because she’s a girl. I know lots of girls, and I’m related to quite a few of them. Hay is about the only girl I’m not related to that I feel totally comfortable with. We get together three, four times a week. We tell each other pretty much everything. It’s really nice to have a confidant who doesn’t judge and doesn’t turn around and tell everyone else in your family.

One day a couple weeks before spring break, I was hanging out in Hay’s room again. We always go to the Braddocks because 1) there are fewer people there, so it’s quieter, and 2) her parents trust us enough to let us hang out in her room with the door closed. There aren’t many rules at my house, but one of them is pretty simple. No sex, no drugs, no alcohol, no tobacco...in the house. Mom and Dad know they can’t control what we do all together, so they’ve resigned themselves to just restricting any signs of it in the home where it could corrupt younger sibs. So even though Hay and I aren’t doing anything we couldn’t do in the rec room surrounded by a couple brothers and sisters, we aren’t allowed to be alone anywhere in the house. Because Hay’s parents were smart enough not to have a whole mess of kids, they are better able to monitor their kids’ relationships. So they know it’s safe to leave us alone. Hay and I are pretty standard nerd straight arrow goody-goodies. Neither one of us has ever tried pot or anything stronger, and we’ve never had enough alcohol at once to make us more than buzzed. We’ve never even smoked a cigarette. And since we tell each other a lot, I know that she’s never made it past first base with a boy. Nope. Hay and I were not doing anything in her bedroom that wouldn’t pass my parents’ test.

Mostly we just sit around, do our homework, and talk. About school, about our goals, about stupid shit. She spends a lot of time complaining about her little brother Matt. At this point, he had just turned fifteen and thought he was God’s gift to women—or at least, teenaged girls. He was like all three of my brothers combined, at least in Hay’s eyes. So I got to hear all about what he was up to now. How he lorded his social life over her. How much time he spent hogging the bathroom. Other general complaints about how badly it sucks to have younger siblings. She tells me because she knows I can relate.

I couldn’t even tell you what exactly she was complaining about this day. I know, I should pay better attention, right? If you’d asked me right after the conversation, I could have told you. But it’s not so important any more. So forgive me.

In any case, when Hay was done with her complaint, she turned to me. We were sitting back to back on her bed, so she basically turned her head over my shoulder so her mouth was right next to my ear. “By,” she said, throwing aside the textbook she’d been half- heartedly “studying” while bitching about Matt, “How come you never complain about your brothers and sisters? I’ve only got one and I complain all the time. You’ve got seven and I never hear you whine about them at all.”

I shrugged, feeling her whole body move up and down with the movement. She was putting pretty much all of her weight on my back. “I dunno,” I added unnecessarily, giving myself time to think about it. “I guess that they’re all so annoying all the time that that would be all I ever talked about if I told you how they were. I would totally annoy the shit out of you.”

She laughed and turned back around, jostling me with her other shoulder—completely on purpose, mind you—as she did. “Like you don’t already?” Hay picked up her math book and opened it to her current assignment, but she didn’t pick up her notebook or pencil. Hay always plays with her homework for at least half an hour before she starts it. “Do me a favor. Make me feel more normal. Tell me one obnoxious thing one of your brothers or sisters has done recently. Something that just totally pissed you off. What is the most annoying thing a Pike kid has done in the past week?”

I threw aside my novel, knowing I couldn’t get any further with my reading assignment until she got what she wanted. But I also know I couldn’t actually answer her last question. I knew instantly what the most annoying thing my brothers had done recently was. I’d come home from Hay’s house two days before and come up the stairs. I’d stayed for dinner, so it was later than usual and dark when I got home. When I walked past Jordan and Adam’s bedroom, two voices yelled and a hand yanked me into the room.

“Hey!” I’d shouted, but within seconds both of my brothers were on top of me, fake beating me senseless. This is how they show love, so I’d ignored it and fought my way out of the pile. With my back to them, I’d shaken myself off and silently cursed them.

“Where the hell have you been?” Adam had asked me. I’d just shrugged, not yet turning around. Despite the fact that they were only playing, they’d managed to split my lip.

Even with him on my other side, I could feel Jordan giving me stinkeye. “Robby called and wanted us to come over and play some football. We’d promised to come by as soon as you came home. But you took your sweet-ass time getting home and now it’s too late.”

I wiped a bit of blood off my lip and finally faced them. “I was with Haley. Dinner, you know...” I’d let the sentence trail off. Adam and Jordan had looked at each other. Adam’s irritation subsided and he began to grin.

“Awwwright Byron!” Adam slapped me on the back. “Pussy!” He grabbed my arm and made like he was going to twist it behind my back.

I didn’t correct him. I didn’t point out that the closest I’d ever gotten to “pussy” at Haley’s house was when the Braddock cat sat in my lap. I had tried that at first, and Jordan and Adam had just taken every denial as a sign that they were right. So I’d given up. And honestly, letting them think I was getting something they weren’t gave me a little leg up on them. Very little, but still.

But I definitely couldn’t tell Haley that story. Like I said, I tell her almost everything. Even so, a guy, even a best friend, needs some mystery about him.

(Oh, and for the record, my brothers aren’t always complete fuckwits. Just most of the time.)

I snapped back to Haley’s room. No, I wasn’t going to tell that one to her. But because, you know, I have so many brothers and sisters, I definitely had another story to tell.

I shifted again. “Um, well, okay. You know how Nick and I have an agreement, right? The private time agreement?” She nodded, still facing the other way. I felt her neck muscles move between her shoulders. “The private time agreement” was something that Nick and I had come up with when we’d agreed to share a room some seven years ago. Originally, it was to allow us each some peace and quiet in a household where those things don’t really exist. Then we’d hit puberty and it had, uh, taken on a different purpose. “Well, Nick usually takes his time while I’m here. Easy, right? So I always tell him when I’m coming over so he knows when he’s free to use the room.”

“So remember late last week when you forgot you had a dentist appointment and I ended up going straight home instead of helping you with your Macbeth essay?” I didn’t wait for her to answer. “I went to my room and knocked. But I guess I didn’t give Nick enough time to answer. So I went in and there he was on the bed...”

Hay snickered. “Jacking off?” she finished the sentence.

It was my turn to look over my shoulder. “Yup. But that’s not the worst part.” I felt her silently laughing as I continued the story. “He pretended like nothing was going on, pulled his shirt down over his, uh, you know, and left the room. Probably to the bathroom to finish. But he left behind his, um, stimulation material, I guess you could say. And you’ll never guess what it was. Some kinda, uh, catalog.”

“Victoria’s Secret?”

“Oh, hell, no, Hay. Way worse. I guess catalog isn’t the right word. It was one of those ads you get in the Sunday paper. I think it was a Wal-Mart ad. Ladies in granny panties and full figured bras.”

“Dude, Byron. I said annoying, not disgusting!” For the first time in about an hour, she finally moved off my back. She stretched out across the bed and rolled with laughter. Hay has two types of laughs—a mildly amused laugh, which is loud and you can hear from the other side of the house, and a really happy laugh, which is silent and makes her whole body shake. The latter was what she was doing now, and tears were rolling down her face. “Oh, my God,” she said, when she got her shit back together and was able to speak again. “We need to get the hell out of this town for a while.”

I had picked my novel back up and turned my back toward the wall while she was calming down. I was hoping to finish the chapter before she started begging for more embarrassing stories about my sibs. Even this new direction in the conversation wasn’t going to prevent me from my assignment. “Hmm,” I said, a noncommittal response, hoping to head her off before she really picked up steam. Sometimes, Haley can really get off on wild ideas and tangents.

“No, By, I’m serious.” She sat up and turned to me, folding her feet up under her and trying her best to look serious as well. “I’ve had my driver’s license for almost three months now. And you’ve had yours for, like, a year. We never get to really go anywhere or do anything though. You think we could go on a road trip? Spring break?” I still didn’t respond, so she leaned forward a bit and waved her hand in my face. I blinked but didn’t dignify it with any other response. “I could even try to get...the car.”

“The car” is actually Haley’s car. Her parents had given it to her on her seventeenth birthday, when she passed her driver’s test. It’s a really nice used car, a much nicer ride than just about anyone we know drives. Problem is, because the car is so nice, Hay’s parents are almost scared to let her drive it. Even though she’s a really good driver, they’re afraid that she’ll crash it. I think I can count on one hand how many times I’ve gotten a ride from her, and I’ve been in the car almost every time she’s been behind the wheel.

“Oh, the car, huh? Good luck.” Sarcasm oozed in the statement.

She shoved me with both hands and laughed a short, loud laugh. “Come on, dude. Think about it. We’d have a whole week to drive and wander and discover something new. We could go anywhere! The beach, the mountains, you name it.”

Okay. She’d distracted me from my reading, but I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing that right off. Why couldn’t we go on a road trip? Mom and Dad had let Adam and Jordan take off with our car last summer for a week. And Hay’s parents are pretty cool about stuff like that. I would have been really fun to drive somewhere, just the two of us. We’d never really gone anywhere on our own, without a whole passel of friends or siblings around.

“A road trip? Huh. I’ll ask my parents,” I said nonchalantly over my book, not lifting my eyes off the pages.

Haley shrieked and hugged me, squeezing my arms up by my side and bringing the book closer to my face. “Great! Ask them tonight, and I’ll ask mine.” She let me go, her eyes sweeping over the room and settling on her math book. She lifted the text, found her assignment again, pulled her notebook and a pencil out of her school bag and settled down to do her homework. I flipped a page in my book, satisfied that I would actually be able to finish the reading before I went home.

We worked silently for a few minutes. Suddenly Hay lowered her pencil and began looking at me. Through the corner of my eye, I could see a mischievous glint to her gaze. “What,” I said. It wasn’t really a question.

“Soo....stimulation material. I heard about Nick’s. What do you use?”

I didn’t answer, really. I just shifted the book to one hand and flicked her off with the other.

“Okay, never mind then. Next time I’m in your room, I’ll just look under your mattress.”

I turned a page in the book and looked at her over the top. “I’m too smart to leave it under the mattress,” was all I said.

***

I love my parents, but sometimes I think they are the most unreasonable people on earth. I’d waited to talk to them about Haley’s idea until after dinner. Generally, my siblings sort of scatter after dinner. Someone’s usually out on a date, or with friends, and most of the rest of them head upstairs to do homework or downstairs to watch something on television. It’s the best time to talk to Mom and Dad about anything serious, especially if you volunteer to help with the dishes. Mom always appreciates the help, but they know right off you’re about to ask for something. So, it’s not always ideal if you want to spring something on them you don’t think they’ll go for. But I didn’t think this was a request they’d say no to, so I just went for it.

I was putting away the last of the dishes while Mom and Dad sat down with cups of coffee. When the last plate was back in its home, I turned around. My parents were facing the other way, but I saw them glance at each other. “Byron,” Mom said after a moment of me trying to figure out how to begin, “if you’ve got something you want to ask permission for, get it over with so you can get out of here and give your dad and me some private time.”

Okay. That put me more at ease. I grabbed a cola out of the fridge and sat down next to them. “Um, so you know spring break is coming up, right?” Suave, genius. Mom and Dad just looked at me. I opened the cola can. “Well, Haley and I were talking. We wanted to have an adventure this year. Now that we both have our driver’s licenses, we were hoping to take a road trip. Leave on Sunday and come back Saturday, so that we have plenty of time to work on homework and catch up on our sleep before we go back to school.” Now Hay and I hadn’t talked about the last part, but it made sense, and I thought my parents would be more likely to go for it if they could tell we were being our regular, responsible selves.

I saw Mom and Dad look at each other again, but this time I was looking at them face on, and I didn’t really like what I saw. The two of them have this habit of having whole conversations with their eyes, without having to say a word. Since I’m the ‘quiet, observant one,’ I’d long since come to study and translate large chunks of this secret language of theirs. And most of what I was seeing was negative.

“Byron,” Dad said, sounding like he was trying really hard not to sigh, “Sorry. I don’t like the idea of you and Haley alone in a car. Especially not for a whole week.” He took a sip of coffee, like that was the end of the conversation.

I tried my hardest not to break straight into whining. “Why not?”

Mom looked at Dad for a second, and when he took another sip of coffee, she answered. “Sweetie, you are a boy. Haley is a girl. You’re teenagers with crazy, mixed up emotions and hormones. Just not a good idea.”

I sighed. “Mom. I can assure you, nothing like that will ever go on between me and Haley. She’s my best friend, not my girlfriend. We’ve hung out together just about every day for the past three years, and I’ve never even kissed her.”

Mom raised her cup and took a drink. Why do they always start with the coffee just when I want them to say something? “Come on, Mom. Dad. I’ve never been a problem. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs. And I certainly don’t have sex with Haley. The worst thing you could say about us is that when we get together, we curse like sailors.” Mom raised her eyebrows, but didn’t say anything. “You know you can trust me, right? I’m a good kid.” And it was true. Since I’d hit high school, I hadn’t been grounded once, nor had I had a detention. I was mostly in honors classes at school and I was in the top five percent of my class. I’d gotten an early acceptance to college sometime back and was on the path to higher academic success. I was good with my younger brothers and sisters, and for the most part we got along.

Another eye conversation started as both Mom and Dad took another drink from their coffee. These mugs were starting to seem endless. Just when I was about to give up and tell Hay the plan was off, Dad put his mug down. The sound it made indicated it was empty. “Okay, Byron, you make a valid point. I have no reason not to trust you...yet. Despite that, I still stand behind my original statement. I don’t like you and Haley alone in a car for the week. However...if you were to find another person, and all three of you went together, I’ll give you permission. Pending the approval of the Braddocks and the other kid’s parents, that is.”

I jumped out of my seat. “You mean it?” I asked.

Mom nodded. “Of course. We let Adam and Jordan go off last summer with a couple of guys, didn’t we? If you can put together a trio that we approve of, there’s no reason you can’t do the same.” The front door slammed shut and Adam and Jordan, who had been out with some guys, were back home. Mom raised her voice so that the newcomers could hear her. “And unlike all the other teenage drivers in the family, you have yet to get a ticket or hit something.”

“Aww, Mom,” Jordan said, coming into the kitchen to scam some leftovers, “I still maintain that cop was all wrong when he gave me that ticket. I was doing the speed limit, I swear.”

Mom turned in her seat as Adam followed Jordan to the fridge. “Jordan. You were given a ticket for doing fifty in a thirty-five zone. No radar machine, or cop’s eye, is going to be that far off.”

Adam pulled a cold chicken leg out of the fridge and bit straight off of it as Jordan scowled. “Why did this topic even come up?” Adam asked, his mouth full.

Dad got out of his chair and closed the wide-open fridge. Adam was holding the whole plate of leftover chicken by this point, and Jordan had the makings of salami sandwich, except the bread, which he grabbed from the counter top. Dad shook his head. “Weren’t you guys just out for pizza? And didn’t you have huge snacks just before that, right when I was coming home?” He didn’t wait for an answer to his own question, but instead turned toward me. “So. This road trip. I assume you’ll be needing the car.”

In our family, “the car” is a battered old piece of shit Honda Civic that feels like it’s as old as I am. My parents bought it when my oldest sister Mallory turned seventeen, and it’s meant to be shared by all the teenaged Pikes. Right then, with Mal off at college and my sister Vanessa not turning seventeen for another three months, it was a car that Adam, Jordan and I shared. Most of the time, one of them drove it, simply because they had more social engagements than I did. We had to schedule carefully over the summer, when anyone sixteen or older in the family was required to hold a job. Most of the time last summer, I had just walked to work. It was easier than fighting with my brothers, who could beat me up, or Mal, who could turn on the waterworks.

“Wait. What?” Jordan put down the slice of bread he had been lovingly slathering with mustard. Adam, his mouth now totally full of chicken, knew better than to say something right away. He’s choked more than a few times trying to talk with that much food in his mouth. But he shot me a death glare.

I ignored them both and turned to Dad. “Well, Hay’s trying to get her parents to let her take her car, but I doubt they will. So if you’re okay with it, yeah, I’ll need the car.”

“No way. Uh-uh. Totally unfair.” Adam had managed to swallow his chicken. He turned away from me, toward Mom and then to Dad, who was still standing by the fridge. “He’s taking the car for spring break? For a road trip?”

“Yeah, that’s crazy!” Jordan chimed in. “What if one of us wants to use the car then? Like what if I have a hot date with Danielle and need the car?” Adam snickered, and I had to try really hard not to do the same. Danielle is this old friend of Vanessa’s, and Jordan’s been trying to get her to out with him since she was about thirteen. She’s been telling him ‘no’ for just as long.

Mom sighed, good naturedly. “Then you’ll just tell Danielle the same thing you would tell her if Byron had the car just for the evening. Either reschedule, walk, or your dad or I will drive you.” Both Adam and Jordan groaned. “It’s the same thing that Byron had to do, and Mallory too, when you two took the car last summer.” Mom stood up and glanced at Dad, and all three of us triplets knew the conversation was over. “Make sure you two clean up your dishes tonight—Byron already did the dinner dishes and I don’t want to find any in the sink in the morning. Good night.”

Adam and Jordan turned on me darkly. I tried to smile at them, but it didn’t last long. “It’s the same thing Byron had to do when you two took the car last summer,” Adam repeated, raising his voice so that he was making a terrible parody of Mom.

Jordan glanced at him briefly and turned back to me. “Yeah, but you know that Byron couldn’t get a date with Danielle if he wanted one.”

I picked my forgotten can of cola off the table and took a swig. Suddenly, I understood why Mom and Dad do that with their coffee. It keeps them for blurting out the first thing that comes into their heads.

It didn’t work for me. “Yeah, and neither could you, and you want one.”

I have never run from the kitchen so fast in my whole life.

***

Once I managed to get free from Adam and Jordan, I found a cordless phone and went to my room. Nick was in there, doing his homework...or actually, staring off into space and ignoring his homework. I touched him on the shoulder. “Nick. Nick. Earth to Nick.”

He slowly shook his head and returned to normal. “What?” he said, instantly irritated that I had interrupted his “studies.”

I held the phone out and pointed to it. “Will it bother you if I make a phone call?”

“Yes.”

I scowled a little bit, but stepped back out into the hallway. My two youngest sisters were having an argument in the room they share with Vanessa. Even with the door closed, I could tell exactly what it was about, and I had no doubt that Haley would be able to hear it too. I ducked down the hallway further. Mom and Dad’s room door was closed. Adam was in his room, and he was one of the last people I wanted to see at that moment. (Bet you can’t guess who the other one, who was downstairs watching television, was.) Finally, I went into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. It was a little too early for anyone to be getting ready for bed, but I still probably wouldn’t have too much time. I dialed Hay’s number from memory. Her father answered, recognizing my voice, and got Hay right away.

“Hello!” She sounded fairly excited. Hopeful, I think.

“Hello, yourself. So how did it go?”

“Fifty-fifty. Mom said I could go, but she said I couldn’t take the car.” Surprise, surprise. No biggie, though. Byron to the rescue.

“Don’t worry about it. Not only did I get permission, we also get to take the Pike-mobile.”

A long, incomprehensible shriek came from the other end of the phone. I held it away from ear until I was sure she was good and done. Because of this, I missed a fair chunk of what she was saying.

“...and we are just going to have the best time ever!”

“Whoa, slow down Hay. There’s just one catch.”

She sure sobered up fast. “What?”

“We have to find a third person to come with us.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line, and then she repeated her last statement. “What?”

I started fiddling with things on the counter nervously while I spoke. Makeup. Zit cream. “My dad has this thing about teenage hormones. I guess he figures the only way to prevent us from doing something that could cause you to come home pregnant is make sure we have a chaperone.”

She giggled. “Us? Really?”

“Yeah. Crazy, huh?” Wow. This seemed a lot more amusing to her than it did to me. What was going on here? “Listen, Hay, I have to run. But think about someone we could invite along who would be safe. I’ll see you in school tomorrow.”

“I’ll think about it all night. Night, By.”

“Night.”

***

I’m not a morning person. I’m usually the last one out the door in the morning. Sometimes, my brothers threaten to leave me behind and make me walk. I always let them drive in the morning. I’m sure by now you’re guessing that the reason that I haven’t had any problems driving yet is because I almost never get to drive. It’s a factor, I’m sure. But there’s also the fact that I don’t do things like drive fifteen miles over the speed limit (Jordan) or park in no parking zones (Mal) or drive with my head out the window, yelling at “the ladies” (Adam).

In any case, I was half asleep when I got to my locker. I was still fumbling with the lock when a bouncing, squealing figure zoomed up behind me. I didn’t even have to turn around to know who it was. “Hey, Haley,” I said while yawning.

“Morning, By! Guess what? I came up with the perfect person to come on our trip. Even though I’m really sad that it’s not going to be Hay and By’s Excellent Adventure....” she faded out and looked at me impatiently. “Oh, for shit’s sake, Byron! Give me that!” She yanked the lock out of my hand and unlocked it for me.

I looked at her, feeling the sleepiness leave my body. “Should I be concerned that you know my locker combo?” I teased.

“Focus, dude. Talk about spring break now. Worry about me digging through your school books and dirty gym socks later.”

I put my backpack away and took out my calculus book and notebook. Haley shifted her school bag from one shoulder to the other in a very impatient manner. Sensing her irritation, I took as long as humanly possible to gather up my calculator and a couple pencils. Finally I turned to her and smiled. “So. Who’s your idea of a good chaperone?”

“Vanessa.”

I started walking down the hallway, not waiting for her to follow. “Vanessa? Are you kidding?” I asked over my shoulder, incredulously.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my sister. It’s just that she’s so...weird. When we were younger, she spoke in rhyme for a couple years. She hasn’t done that since she was maybe twelve, but she hasn’t become any less strange since then. (I’m really not one to speak though, since I think most of my sibs probably say the same thing about me.) Vanessa and Haley used to be really close, but they’d had a falling out right before they both started high school. Hay had left the house crying, and I’d followed to make sure she was okay. We’d gotten to talking, and next time she’d called the house, she’d asked to speak to me. It had weirded me out at first, but I’d quickly realized how good a friend she was. Even after Hay and Vanessa made up, she’d continued coming by mostly just to see me.

Hay wrinkled her nose at me. “Think about it!” she yelled down the hallway as I hurried away from her.

***

I hate when Hay tells me to do something and then I do it, but it seems to happen a lot. I spent more time thinking about my parent’s request and Haley’s idea than calculus, or gym, or any of my other morning classes. Other than being strange, Vanessa was an ideal candidate. My parents couldn’t complain about her, and they’d believe her when she said that Hay and I had behaved. Plus, it would be good to see Hay hanging out with someone else. When I wasn’t with her, I might be out with my brothers and their friends, but I knew Hay spent most of her time alone. I’ve got no idea why. She’s bright and funny and charming and full of energy.

I was on my way to lunch when I spotted her heading the other way. Hay has lunch right before I do, and she was on her way to gym class. She’s of the opinion that it should be illegal to force people to run a mile right after making them eat cafeteria food. I must say that I agree.

“Hey, Hay!” I called across a group of cheerleaders, including my sister Margo. I flashed her a quick smile as I waded past her and her friends. Hay was juggling her lunch bag, the latest novel she’d been reading, and a few other odds and ends, trying to stuff them back into her backpack. She looked up sharply, and then grinned.

“So...?”

“So it sounds like the best idea. I have lunch with her next. I’ll ask her, okay?”

Hay’s face lit up like a jack-o-lantern, and she smiled just as large. “Oh, By, I just love you! This is going to be the best spring break ever!” She zipped up her backpack and threw her arms around me briefly. “Call me tonight! See you later!”

***

The cafeteria was already crowded by the time I got in. Most of my brothers and sisters buy their lunches, but Margo and I prefer to pack ours. Margo because she’s the pickiest person on the face of the earth, and me because I basically just think cafeteria food blows. Most of my friends were still in the lunch line, so I took a detour from our usual table and headed over to the corner. The literary set was all over here, and Vanessa was talking to a freshman boy who looked like Pugsley Addams, only less cute. I’d seen her with him a few times before. I stood behind her, hoping for a lull in the conversation. Pugsley stopped talking almost instantly, in the middle of a thought, and just stared at me. After a moment, Vanessa turned around and gave me her best death glare. “Yeah?”

“Hi, Vanessa. I was hoping to ask you a favor.” Had it been anyone else, I would have sat down beside her to ask the question. But Vanessa and Pugsley didn’t seem to welcome my presence, and I had a feeling that would just make it worse. So I went on. “I don’t know if you heard that Haley and I are taking a road trip for spring break. Mom and Dad want us to find a third person to go along with. Do you want to come? Hay and I will pay for all the gas, and I’m sure Mom and Dad would pay your share of everything else.” Actually, I wasn’t so sure of this, but I left it there anyway. If my parents were going to insist upon a babysitter for me, then they were going to have to pay for one, same as when we were kids.

Vanessa’s expression didn’t change. “Now, why would I want to do that?”

I sighed. This was going to be harder than I thought. “I don’t know. I thought maybe you’d just like to help me out and get away from Casa Pike for a week, pretty much free of charge. Hay and I haven’t decided where we’re going. There might me something out there that would make great poetry...a graveyard or whatever it is that appeals to your poetic soul these days.”

Pugsley continued to stare at me like I was a moron. On quick inspection, it didn’t look like my pleas had had any effect on Vanessa, but on a second look, I could see that her eyes were smiling, even if the rest of her face wasn’t. “I’ll think about it. Can you leave me and Devon alone now and go back to your table of Neanderthals? Thanks. Bye.”

Devon, huh? Nope. I was still going to call him Pugsley in my head. “Okay. Let me know when you make up your mind.” I walked away smiling. I knew that Vanessa was just putting on a show for her friends. If she’d really not been interested, she would have found a couple of really choice insults to cut me down to size. Vanessa is the only person I know who can swear at you without actually swearing.

I set my lunch down a few seats away from where Adam and Jordan normally sit. Across from me was Dan Reiber, a big football jock and one of Jordan’s best friends. “What are you so happy about?” he asked, putting one of those dinky little straws into a ridiculously small carton of milk. Dan usually buys about seven of those milks to satisfy his thirst.

I just shook my head, letting my smile fade. Dan is one of those people who doesn’t ask a question like that and really mean it. Had I actually told him what was so great in my life right then, he would have made one of two jokes: 1) something really not funny, involving a threesome—never mind that one of the girls going along was my sister—or 2) said something about fags and their hags.

Dan has two insults in his life: gay and retarded. Everyone and everything is either one or the other. Or if he really hates them, both. He even calls people he likes retards and queers. It’s really annoying. I just want to buy him a thesaurus and teach him a few new insults.

In any case, sometimes he focuses in on certain people and decides to make their lives living hell for a few months. Charming, huh? Back during our freshman year, he caught me staring off into space one day in the changing room and thought I was staring at him, or more precisely, his dick. He wasn’t too terribly original in choosing his insults: Queer-on Pike was his favorite. After the joke stopped being funny to anyone besides him, he just called me “Hey, Fag” for another year or so until Jordan convinced him to stop. Even so, he still occasionally makes jokes about me wanting his dick. But he’s so not my type.

Okay. I guess I better rewind a bit. Remember how I said there are a few things I didn’t even tell Haley? One of them is how accurate all the hateful jokes were. Though I would never, ever stare at Dan Reiber’s dick, he was right about one thing. I am gay.

I’ve known for a long time, even before I knew what “being gay” actually was. See, there was this boy. He was best friends with me and my brothers. I didn’t know what it meant when I always wanted to be with him and near him. I didn’t realize that my brothers felt that way about girls sometimes. It wasn’t until a couple years later when I learned what the term meant and inside my head said, “Oh, so that’s what I am!” But by that time, the boy had moved away, and we’d almost completely lost touch with him.

Since then, there have been a few other boys that made me feel good about myself, but none of them seemed to like me the way I liked them. Not that I had ever said anything to them about it. What if they’d been straight? It would have been like Dan Reiber all over again, only this time it wouldn’t just have been one idiot explaining a vague notion. It would have been someone with a whole conversation he could relive for the others. It would not have been pretty.

So basically, I’m a coward. I’ve decided that, for the next few months before I head off to college, it’s better just to hang out with my best, female friend, let my brothers think I’m screwing her, and hide who I really am.

Yeah. A big, gay coward.

***

Once we were alone together, Vanessa agreed to come along for our trip. And not only did Mom and Dad agree, they were thrilled. I think it was that 1) I had volunteered to spend time with Vanessa and 2) she wasn’t going to be moping all over the house for the whole break. In fact, they were so happy that they gave the two of us a nice chunk of change to put to toward our expenses. If we budgeted carefully, it would be enough for a single motel room for almost every night of the trip. Dad even handed me a credit card on his account in my name to use to secure the rooms and in case of emergency. I really needed to thank Hay for all the brownie points she had gotten me with my parents.

Hay’s parents had also provided some money, and all three of us each had some spare funds set aside. I was planning to use all my birthday money—as I finally turned eighteen four days before we left—and maybe then some. We’d counted and budgeted and set aside money for every activity we knew we wanted to do, and left some for things we hadn’t planned out. Hay had thrown out a bunch of adjectives for how she wanted the trip to go, but her favorite one was EPIC.

Even Vanessa got excited. She was the one who suggested where we should go in the first place. We gathered in Hay’s bedroom with a bunch of road maps, deciding on two towns a couple of hours apart we just had to see. We would spend a couple nights at each, but we hoped to leave everything wide open beyond that. The entire state of Maine lay in front of us, really.

But you know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and men. All it takes is one force of nature to change the path you’re on forever. In this case, there were two forces, and their names were Adam and Jordan.

***

I woke up ridiculously early on that first Sunday of spring break. Vanessa, Haley and I had decided to leave at the butt-crack of dawn, but I was up before the alarm even went off. That was probably for the best. Nick is a bear if you wake him when he doesn’t need to be up. Honestly, though, in the mood I was in, I probably wouldn’t even have noticed. Still, I turned the alarm off and crept out of the room.

Except for the types of things we would need that morning, Vanessa and I had packed our bags the night before. We had agreed that I would shower first and go downstairs to eat breakfast while Vanessa used the bathroom. Hay and Vanessa were going to eat on the way there and I was going to take the first shift driving. We wanted to go the whole six hour trip today, with me taking the first half and Hay the second, and then have the whole day ahead of us to enjoy.

Hay arrived early enough to make it clear that she, too, had gotten moving early this morning. She was already full of pep and zest, and she’d greeted each Pike she’d come across with a big hug, even Mom and Dad, whom she’d thanked profusely. When Vanessa was ready to go, I shoved the last of a waffle in my mouth. Dad went out to pull the car out for us, and Mom presented us with a large cooler—the one we used to take on picnics—full of snacks, drinks and sandwiches.

As Hay, Vanessa and I went outside, we were surprised to see that our family’s station wagon was sitting there. I gave Dad a questioning look. “Uh, Dad, where’s the Civic?”

Dad gave me an odd look. “With the number of you going, I thought it would make more sense to take the wagon. You’ll be able to spread out more.” I looked over at the girls, who looked just as confused. There were three of us. How much more room did we need?

Mom, Dad and my youngest sister Claire helped us load up the car. Margo and Nick were still asleep, and Jordan and Adam had called late last night and asked to stay over at a friend’s. We weren’t going to be gone for too long and we really didn’t have too much to take, so we were done pretty quickly. Hay’s high was wearing off and she climbed into the middle row with a blanket, intending to take a nap for the first part of our journey. Vanessa took the passenger seat. Dad cleared his throat, and I was waiting for a last minute lecture, a repeat of the night before when he’d sat all three of us down and given us the “rules.” But his words were not what I expected. “Aren’t you three going to wait for the rest?”

***

Oh, no. Oh, no, no.

I’m not sure how exactly this happened. But when the car took off forty-five minutes later, there were six of us belted in. Hay had moved from the middle row into the rear facing seat, where she was silently sulking. Vanessa had taken out a book and was furiously ripping pieces off a muffin, shoving them soundlessly into her mouth. I was behind the wheel, rigid with anger. And in the middle row, sensing our irritation and annoyance, were Adam, Jordan, and Jeff Schafer.

Jeff Schafer. Oh my God. When we were ten, he was my best friend. Yeah. That best friend. His mom still lived in town, and though he visited her often, for the last few years we just hadn’t been able to get it together. Either he’d come to town while we were out of town, or he’d been free only while I was working. I hadn’t seen him since we were thirteen or fourteen. I remembered that he and Jordan had spent some time together last summer and that he and Adam had run into each other at Thanksgiving. But we’d barely hit puberty when I’d last spoken to him. And these days, he was looking good.

Jeff’s hair is blonde and looks like just stepped out of a windstorm, and he has this adorable spray of freckles across nose. When he showed up at the house with my brothers, he was wearing a white wife beater under an unbuttoned shirt of blue and green plaid. The blue in his shirt brought out the sparkly ocean blue of his eyes. He completed the outfit with a pair of faded, lived in cargo shorts and flip flops, and a silver thumb ring on his left hand. He was maybe a few inches taller than I am, but he carried himself better, making him look much taller.

My childhood crush standing on my front step, carrying a duffel and looking sexy as hell? Yeah. I was barely able to form a coherent thought for the next few seconds. Or minutes. Or longer. Which is probably how Adam and Jordan were able to talk the three of us into letting the three of them into the car.

Like I said, I don’t really know how it happened. All I do know is that one of my brothers told Dad that Hay and I had okayed the other two triplets joining our trip. And I, of course, really hadn’t. Half the reason for going on the trip in the first place, at least for me, was to get away from the two of them for a week. Even while I’d been wracking my brain trying to think of someone to bring along before asking Vanessa, I’d never even considered asking either of them once. Both Hay and Vanessa were looking toward me, hoping I would speak up and tell the other guys they couldn’t come. But I’ve never been one for making a scene. And Mom and Dad looked so hopeful, probably at the prospect of having only three teens in the house for the week. Not to mention how tongue-tied I was, looking at this beautiful specimen of manhood that had just appeared in front of me. So I let the girls down, and I could tell that, in addition to being mad at Adam and Jordan, they were mad at me.

Some spring break adventure this was turning out to be.

And Jeff? Well, he’d had the good sense to look embarrassed when he’d realized that he hadn’t actually been invited on the trip in the first place. All I caught was that he’d run into Jordan and Adam the night before, and they’d mentioned how they were leaving for the week first thing in the morning. Somehow, this had led to them inviting him to join us, and his mom had given him permission. I took a look at him in the rear view mirror. Jeff was gazing out the window on the passenger’s side, looking pained. I couldn’t tell more than that from a quick glance.

Jordan was sitting bitch. Either oblivious to the tension in the car, or trying clumsily to cut it, he piped up, “It’s deathly quiet in here. Can we get some music playing, please?”

Music. That was actually a good idea. Not wanting him to get his way too much, I answered without taking my eyes off the road. “Yeah. Music sounds good. But I’m making a couple rules first.” The groans sounded almost universal. “First is that, since so many of us can drive, we switch drivers every two hours. Whoever drove last gets to sit in the passenger’s seat. The rest of us can sit wherever the hell we want, as long as we can do it without fighting. Sound fair?” No one said anything, so I took that as a yes. “How many drivers do we have?”

Jordan nudged Jeff in the ribs. “Schafer. You got a license?”

Blinking, Jeff turned away from the window. He looked like he’d been pulled out of an epically bad daydream. He said the first words I’d heard from him since, “Good morning.” “Yeah. For a while now. In California, you get your license when you turn sixteen.” He turned back to the window.

“Great. Five drivers then.” I put on my blinker and slowed at a stop sign. “Second. Whoever is in the passenger’s seat has to play navigator, but also gets to pick the music. Vanessa, you got something in mind?”

I’d done this deliberately. Vanessa has a great collection of CDs designed to annoy. She also has an IPod full of songs guaranteed to make the most cheerful person in the world want to slit his wrists.

While Vanessa shuffled through her duffel bag, I heard the commentary from the middle row. “What do you think this is, school? Fuck, Byron. It’s a goddamn road trip. Who died and made you the god of making rules?”

Haley’s head popped over the top of the seat for the first time in several miles. She stood up on her knees, leaning over the middle seat with her head between Adam and Jordan’s. “You assholes did when you invited yourselves along. No one asked you to come. And Vanessa and By and I had already decided on some rules before that, so if you don’t like them, you can get the fuck out of the car and walk home. Because I like rules and I especially like any rule that you two hate!” By this point, she was practically screaming.

Adam leaned forward, away from her. “Dude,” he said in a spooked voice, looking at me in the rearview. “Your girlfriend’s crazy.” At that moment, I was a bit inclined to agree. This was something new for Hay. There was a crazed look in her eye, her face was beet red, and tears streamed down her face. While I’d seen her cry before, it had never been like this, with so much emotion behind it.

I didn’t dignify Adam with a response. Vanessa had selected a CD and popped it into the jury-rigged system that played through the car’s old tape deck. Janis Joplin came pouring out of the speakers as the car’s occupants fell silent again. Hay sat back down, crying much in the same way she laughs. Jeff’s eyes never left the window. Vanessa flipped a page in her book and took a swig of coffee. And Adam and Jordan looked at each other, both trying to decide if they wanted to take Hay’s advice and jump out of the moving car and both looking sorely tempted.

“Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose,” Janis sang from the tinny car speakers.

Oh, yeah. This had to be the worst start to any road trip in the history of the world.

***

We were all silent and fretful for a while after that. Vanessa’s CD was a mix CD, and after Bobby McGee, I couldn’t even begin to tell you what most of the music was, because I didn’t recognize it. Vanessa was still reading. Adam and Jordan had discovered the cooler and were munching grapes. Jeff hadn’t moved a muscle from the window, and I’m pretty sure Hay had cried herself to sleep. We were about three songs in when we hit the highway. I merged going north.

A moment later, Jordan leaned over Adam, watching the car’s progress. “What are you doing?” he exclaimed. “Byron, you’re going the wrong way.”

I kept my eyes on the road, tense at all the traffic this early on a Sunday morning. “No, I’m not.”

“Did you fail geography? Florida is south of here, man. You’re going north.”

Vanessa and I exchanged a look, and she nodded. She put down her book and turned around, looking at our brothers. “Florida? What do you mean, Florida?” she asked. “We’re going to Maine.”

Adam and Jordan gaped. “Maine?” Jordan echoed. “Maine? Who the hell goes to Maine during spring break? What’s the matter with you people?”

I had finally gotten to a comfortable position on the highway and put on the cruise control. “Maybe next time, you’ll find out where the car is going before you invite yourself along.”

A small chuckle erupted from somewhere else, and I had to check around before I realized it was Jeff. “Oh, my God,” he said, turning away from the window. Our eyes met briefly in the rearview before he turned to my brothers. “You guys are priceless.” He was still chuckling, but that one look at his face told me that he wasn’t really happy. His eyes looked sad and lost. “You tell me we’re going to go to Florida. It’s going to be me and the guys, just like the old days. And then we get in the car, and not only are there girls going— no offense, Vanessa and Haley—but I find out we’re not actually on the guest list. And now, we’re going to Maine, of all places.” He shook his head and turned back to the window. “Maine,” he repeated, as if he couldn’t believe it. “What’s in Maine?”

Despite the fact that the question was obviously rhetorical, Vanessa answered him seriously. “Mountains,” she said. “Mountains and the ocean. Sometimes you just need to go somewhere that soothes your soul, you know?”

Jeff turned away from the window for the third time and met Vanessa’s gaze. “Yeah, I do know.” He looked up to the roof of the car, as if it might hold the answers to all life’s questions. “Okay,” he said, flashing a brief smile that actually looked like he meant it, “Maine.”

***

We stopped at the two hour mark for a pee break and driver switch. Since Vanessa wouldn’t be driving during the trip, I volunteered to give up my turn in shotgun and let her keep the seat. Adam, who had won a game of rock, paper, scissors with Jordan, was going to drive next. Jeff had turned down an offer for the wheel, and Hay was still sleeping restlessly in the back and we hadn’t wanted to wake her.

She was awake, however, when I came back from the john. “Need to stretch your legs?” I asked, climbing around the luggage to join her. Hay shook her head and pulled her blanket even tighter around her. All that was visible was her face, which was puffy from dried tears and sleep. I sat close to her and put my arm around the lump of blanket. “Hay. I’m so sorry.”

I felt her shrug. “I know.” Her voice was hoarse and still sounded a bit wavery. She lifted a blanket encased arm and wiped at her face. “I don’t really blame you. You can’t be held responsible if your brothers are little bastards. Or if you don’t have the balls to stand up to them.” I sighed but didn’t say anything. She was correct, after all. After a moment she finally turned and looked at me. “I just wanted to get away from myself, you know? And having them here is the exact opposite of that.”

I met her gaze. “Believe me, I know.” Hay put her head on my shoulder. I went on. “Remember what you called this trip back when we first put it together? Well, I’ve got a different name for it: By and Hay’s Bogus Journey.”

Hay made a happy noise for the first time since the boys had shown up. She closed her eyes and relaxed into me, but her stomach made angry sounds. “You haven’t eaten anything today yet, have you? What are you in the mood for?”

She shook her head. “Nothing right now. Just stay right where you are, okay? I need this more than I need breakfast.”

I closed my eyes, too, and put my head on top of hers. We sat like that for a few minutes, and I might have fallen asleep if it weren’t for a pounding on the window. “What are you fuckers doing back there?” Jordan shouted, his face up against the window.

Another voice, more garbled, responded, “You got that right. Fuckers.” Both Adam and Jordan started to laugh. I squinted my eyes more tightly shut and pretended not to hear either of them. From the way Hay tensed, she was doing the same.

The front passenger car door was open and Vanessa had been sitting in the seat, stretching her bare feet out the door, enjoying some weak rays of sun. “You guys are absolutely charming.” She pulled her feet back into the car and placed them on the dashboard.

I still hadn’t opened my eyes. “Vanessa, can you pass the rest of the muffins back here for Hay?” I called as Adam and Jordan settled into their seats, still chortling.

Haley sat upright as Vanessa passed the bag back to Jordan. Jordan placed the bag on the seat between us, and I grabbed it up. There were two muffins left, and I peered into the bag. “Blueberry or bran?” I asked.

“Yuck.”

My brothers were getting antsy. Adam threw the car into drive and laid on the horn. “Yo, Schafer!” he shouted out the open window. “Let’s get moving.”

Jeff appeared, not from the gas station, but from the dinky little market across the parking lot. He was carrying a small paper bag and ducked his head as he ran between the parked cars over to us. Taking a quick glance to see where everyone was sitting, he ran to the door next to the open seat and quickly climbed in. “Sorry,” he said, not really sounding apologetic at all.

The door was barely closed when Adam peeled out of the parking lot, just a little faster than necessary. Vanessa started telling him off, smacking him several times with the map. Jordan put ear buds in and turned up the volume loud enough to compete with Vanessa’s anime soundtrack. Once the others were distracted, Jeff turned around. “Uh, hey guys,” he said in a low voice. Hay and I turned toward him. He lifted the bag up, like it was a peace offering. “Nectarine?”

Haley looked at me, and we had a brief, wordless conversation which ended with me shrugging. I was getting more like my dad every day. “Sure. Thanks.” We wiggled apart and sat at opposite ends of the seat, our knees facing towards each other. Hay kicked the blanket off and accepted the bag, pulling a nectarine out of the bag and then handing it back to Jeff. “If you’re going to give any to By, you’d better take yours first. He eats more than anyone I’ve ever met.”

I kicked her sandal with the toe of one of my Converse. Jeff nodded. “I seem to remember that.” He pulled out a nectarine himself and took a bite. When he was done chewing, he looked at us expectantly, but didn’t say a word. Instead he handed me the bag and used it as an excuse to break eye contact.

I grabbed a nectarine but didn’t eat it. “Uh, it’s been a long time.” I said to Jeff as I spun the nectarine around and around. I watched the fruit instead of his face.

“Yup.”

Hay’s eyes darted back and forth between us for a moment. She opened her mouth, and then closed it. She took another bite of nectarine and exhaled loudly. I could tell that she was finding both of us, with our amazing communication skills, extremely frustrating. Both Jeff and I looked at her. She smiled an infuriating little grin as she swallowed. “So, Jeff. You’re a senior, right? Got plans for next year?”

Jeff shrugged. “Probably the community college. My grades are okay but not that great. Plus my dad...” he trailed off, looking briefly pained. “I dunno. I guess I just haven’t thought about it too much.” Another bite of nectarine and a pause while he chewed. “What about you two?”

Hay cocked her head to one side. “Well, I’m just a junior, but I’m thinking about being a professional sign language interpreter. They’re in big demand for courtrooms and schools and all sorts of places. But another part of me wants to do something Indiana Jones-y, like archaeology or anthropology. Once I decide what I want to study, I’ll decide where to go.” She shifted around a bit. “But Byron got an early acceptance to Duke for the biomedical engineering program.” Hay loves saying that. She says it makes me sound like a cyborg.

Jeff stared at me as if Haley had said I was going to be going to Hogwarts or outer space. “Wow. What are you, some kind of super brainiac?” I ducked my head, feeling my face flush.

“Seriously. Why do you think I do as much of my homework with him as possible? I’m always hoping some of that will rub off on me.” Hay’s attention drifted back to her nectarine, which was dripping down her lap. She enacted a furious feeding frenzy, leaving behind just the pit, and then looked at me. “Look at this. I am going to need to change before we get there.”

It was my turn to shrug again. “Change now.” I suggested. “Or you can see what kind of filthy-ass gas station Adam pulls into in a couple of hours.” I still didn’t look up. The nectarine, rotating in my hand, was getting sort of mushy. I finally took a bite.

Hay stared at me, horrified. “Change in here, in front of your pervert brothers?”

I didn’t move. “They’re a little busy.” It was true. Jordan had a magazine in his lap—if I’d had to guess, I’d say soft-core porn, like Maxim or Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition— and was focused in on that and his music. In the front seat, Adam was dealing with a slight case of road rage, only it was directed inside the car. Vanessa had taken to singing along to the soundtrack playing. Only problems with that are 1) Vanessa can’t sing and 2) she didn’t really know the words, so she was making them up by phonetically sounding out the Japanese. Had he not been driving, it would have been pretty neat to see Adam’s head explode. I figured it wouldn’t be too much longer before someone would have to intervene or the car would end up crashing into the median, with multiple casualties.

I finally looked up as I directed my attention back to Haley. “You’ve got the blanket, don’t you? And you know I won’t bother you. Can she trust you, Jeff?” My eyes flickered onto him for the first time since he’d handed me the nectarine. He was following the conversation by leaning his head onto the seat behind him and turning it at an angle. His eyes were half open, and he looked both sleepy and distant. And yet, still cute as can be. Damn.

Jeff shook himself and then met my gaze. “Yeah. No problem. I’ve got this window. I can count the number of red cars that we pass while you change.” Even though he was talking to Hay, this statement was made while looking directly at me. I felt an involuntary shiver go through my body.

Hay’s eyes ping-ponged again, and then stopped on me. She eyed me critically for a moment, but I wasn’t able to read her expression. Then she vaulted out of the seat. She’d tucked her bag over in one corner, and it was still accessible. She dug through the clothes, pulling out a skirt and t-shirt combo that’s one of her favorites, and then zipped the bag back up. I grabbed the blanket and handed it to her. “Want me to hold it up for you?”

She shook her head. “Naw. I got it. Just scoot over and give me some room, ‘kay?”

I wiggled over into the far corner of the seat. Jeff made a big show of turning to the window. Hay put the blanket down, and, just as I thought she was going to do, threw her new clothes on over her old. Then she covered herself in the blanket and started maneuvering underneath it to remove her jeans and shirt. I turned and looked out the window also, to give her an extra element of privacy. Jeff’s head was right next to mine, and with us both looking out the window, I could see his profile. He turned a little in his seat and looked at me again. “How long have you and Haley been going out?” he asked in a low voice, soft enough that I barely heard him.

I shook my head and whispered back. “We’re not dating.”

Jeff looked straight out the window again. When he spoke, he sounded confused. “Oh?”

“She’s just my friend. My best friend. Pretty much my only friend.” I didn’t know why I was telling him this. “We basically just have each other, so we’re pretty close.” Jeff raised his eyebrows at that but didn’t say anything. Desperate to change the subject, I squinted into the lane of cars next to us. “One!” I yelled, startling Jeff a bit.

Vanessa turned the radio down and turned around over the seat, looking irritated. “One what?”

“Jeff and I are counting red cars.”

“Oh.” She raised her eyebrows. “Do I want to know why?”

Jeff looked at her. “No, you really don’t,” he said. She laughed. It was the first time I’d heard Vanessa laugh about anything in a long time. It was a really nice sound.

About this time, Haley emerged from the pile of blanket and nectarine-juicy clothes with an amused look on her face. “Hey, Vanessa?” she called, letting her mess drop temporarily to the floor, “Do you mind changing CDs? I think I’ve heard all the Japanese I can take for one day. I hate not knowing what the song is about.” I sent her a telepathic thank you as she turned to me and gave a mischievous little grin.

Jeff was starting to open up a little. “You know what I hate?” he asked, looking at Haley this time, “When the song’s in English, and I still don’t know what it’s about.” Hay laughed and I nodded in agreement.

Vanessa smiled. “Okay, okay. Let me see what else I have, alright?”

I beat her to it. “Here,” I pulled a CD case out of my back pocket and handed it to Jeff. “Try this one, Vanessa.” The case and CD were unlabeled, and after Jeff handed them to her, Vanessa looked at them, and then me, suspiciously. “Oh, just put it in. Don’t you trust me?”

She shook her head. “No.” But she put the CD in and pressed play. Slightly cheesy, pop-py sixties harmonica music started playing, followed shortly by the John Lennon singing “Love Me Do.” Vanessa quirked an eyebrow at me and Jeff turned his head to the side, like he was suddenly realizing I had three nostrils or something. Even Adam gave me an odd look in the rearview mirror.

I shrugged. “What?” I asked, playing innocent. “Everyone likes the Beatles, right?”

Hay answered on behalf of the car as a whole. “Yeah,” she said as she finished stuffing her dirty clothes back into her duffel, “but most of us don’t carry the Beatles in our butt pockets.”

I felt myself turn a little pink despite not having done anything wrong. I guess I just hate having so many people stare at me at once. “Back up plan? I didn’t think we could stand to listen to Vanessa’s music for four hours straight. I’m surprised it took me this long to pull it out.” Vanessa crumpled up a muffin wrapper and a napkin and threw them at me. I ducked and they bounced off the side window, landing in among the bags.

The trip was actually starting to feel like it might be fun. Maybe.

Big Family Minimalism

This is a guest post from my friend Jillian. It dawned on me, recently, that I don’t think I’ve ever had a guest post about family. Jillian is changing that in a BIG and meaningful way.

I never searched out minimalism. Rather, I stumbled upon it first as a type of survival tool. Our story is a bit of a winding and twisting journey. But our minimalism story starts 3.5 years ago, while I was sitting in a job interview and honestly killing it. The interviewers were over the moon happy to hire me on the spot, but I was distracted. I was trying to hold focus on the interview, but my phone was exploding with text messages and missed calls.

See, while I was interviewing my heart out, a 5-year-old boy with big hazel eyes had just been dropped off at our house by a social worker. He had been in foster care for a while and had disrupted from the last 5 homes. (This happens when foster parents or the birth family aren’t able to meet the child’s needs and a new family has to be found.) The social worker was rather confident we couldn’t handle him either. I have soft eyes and a sweet smile that hides the depth of my love, tenacity, and gumption. She mentioned, almost offhandedly, he also had two little sisters. No other family had been able to keep them together and the “state” didn’t want to attempt to place them together again. I just smiled my sweet smile and said, “Well, we aren’t every other family. When you are ready, we are ready for anything.”

It was lie. No one is ever fully ready. His little sisters moved in a few months later. I quit my job. I lived at the end of my rope for the next year.

Having four little kids at home is a lot (6, 5, 2 and 1). Just that alone. But it wasn’t just that. There were 12 appointments a week of various meetings, therapies, and with professionals. There were difficult visits with birth parents. There were court dates and a rotating door of overworked social workers. There were lawyers, judges, and court-appointed advocates. There was the uncertainty of not knowing what the future held for these kids I loved so much.

Plus, there were these sweet kids. They had seen so much trauma and neglect in their short lives that every behaviour was broken. I had the skill, knowledge, tools, and love that was needed. But I was exhausted. Like lay on the floor at night after I tucked them in and cry silent, hot tears exhausted. Until their nightmares started. Every one-to-two hours during the night for 3 years.

It’s all too much. A life at the end of our rope.

We were all at the ends of our rope. While it was challenging to be the ringleader of this circus, it wasn’t any easier for my kids. The two-year-old had lived with 5 different families before us. She called me and her birth mom, mama. They had to be dragged to appointments and meeting after meeting. They had their own trauma and no skills or words to express what they were feeling.

Just getting them ready for the twice-weekly visits with birth parents would nearly break us. They were excited, terrified, overwhelmed, full of dread, happy, conflicted: all at the same time. So they hit each other, melted down, took off their clothes, bit each other, screamed, hid and lost their coats. It was like dressing a whole litter of pissed off kittens into costumes and taking their picture. I would arrive to drop the kids off at the visit only to be criticized, belittled or ignored by the birth family. I would smile my sweet smile then go cry alone in my mini-van.

The foster care process isn’t easy or fun for anyone—not foster parents, not kids and not birth families. They lived in a constant state of anxiety not knowing if they would be with us for the next birthday, or at Christmas, or when school starts. No one knew.

So minimalism found us.

I imagine most people start with minimalism with their stuff. Decluttering and all. Maybe they need an awesome blog, or hear a podcast, and think “I SHOULD get rid of some of this stuff!”

I needed it in every area of my life, all at once. I dubbed 2015 the year of “Easier, not harder”. That was my only litmus test. Is this easier or harder?

I stopped wearing color because I didn’t have the time or skill to coordinate outfits.

I said no, and opted out of most of my commitments that were, in fact, optional.

I pulled my kids from sports.

I ate the same breakfast every single day.

I told all my kids teachers we weren’t doing any homework. ANY. No signing reading charts, no math worksheets, no flashcards. We aren’t doing it. I’m not signing it. Honestly, I’m not even going to look at it. I was so thankful for what the teachers were doing at school, but I couldn’t add “teacher” to my list of things to squeeze into our evenings.

I had to set boundaries with professionals. “No, I can’t change our appointment time every single week. Either keep our set time, or we skip it.” With 12 appointments on the calendar, having them all shift by 30 minutes or 2 hours IS a big deal.

I had to learn minimalism in my relationships. Most people were incredibly supportive, encouraging, and really understood the importance of what we were doing. And some people . . . didn’t. I didn’t have any leftover emotional energy to hear, “Why are you doing this? Why don’t you just give them back? The system is so broken, you shouldn’t have to put up with this. It’s fine if you want those kids in your family, but even if you adopt them, it doesn’t mean they are part of our family.”

I started owning the fact that I live in a real human body that needs food, water, exercise, and sleep. I started to accommodate those seemingly unreasonable demands of my non-robot body.

Bit by bit, we were doing better. Not just surviving with our nose barely above the waves, but almost flourishing.

Then in the same week in June 2015: We were officially asked to adopt our kids, and we found out we were pregnant.

Enter minimalism, level ninja.

I’ll admit, I had a bit of a mommy meltdown when I found out we were pregnant. Sure, we had spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on fertility treatments over the years. Sure, we had tried for 7 years. But now? Adding a baby definitely didn’t fall into my “easier, not harder” motto.

We had been shopping for a bigger house. We were a family of 6 in 1,650 cozy square feet. A bigger house seemed to make sense. Every single person who came to our house echoed the words, “So when are you moving to a bigger place?” like it was the chorus line in a Disney movie.

But the saying “a baby changes everything” is true.

Turns out, we didn’t want more and bigger. Our entire life already felt “more and bigger”. We wanted less. Actually, we all needed less.

Less clutter. Less cleaning. Less overwhelm. Less hectic.  Less appointments.

We needed margin for the right kind of more. More engagement. More quiet. More stories and cuddles. More adventure. More travel. More time in the garden. More focused time. More creativity.

More stuff and more space weren’t going to give us any of that.

We donated 50% of the kid’s toys, and decided to only keep 3 out at a time to play with. And I saw the kids settle in. Instead of the anxiety, overwhelm, fighting, and frustration they felt when confronted with a massive heap of toys, they just played. Slowly, carefully, thoughtfully with one toy. There was no cleaning up, correcting, and promoting at the end of the night. Each child set one toy on a shelf and it was over. That one simple change freed up a mountain of emotional and relational energy.

I made it a mission to touch every item in our house. I would ask a few questions. Is this a “hard-working” item, or is it “lazy”? Because we didn’t have space for lazy items. Our home couldn’t be a storage unit for barely used items. I would ask, “If I didn’t already own this and saw it at a yard sale for $5 would I buy it instantly, and with joy?” Because if it doesn’t add $5 of value, it doesn’t deserve a place in our home.

Minimalism is an act of faith at first. We paired our life down—appointments, relationships, classes, sports, commitments, stuff—with no guarantee of a better outcome. There was no promise in writing that what we would gain would be better than what we were letting go of.

You pull your kid from a sport and just hope. Hope that the extra two hours a week somehow adds as much value as the sport was adding. It takes a bit a faith to hold space. To create margin and not rush to fill it up again.

We got rid of “perfectly good” toys. (Ok, and a crap ton of McDonald’s happy meal toys.) It’s an act of faith to say, “We are going to donate all these ‘perfectly good’ toys that at one point we actually spent money on,” and just hope that “less is more”.

To the parents.

I kind of just want to give you a hug, at this point. I’ve raised six kids (my oldest passed away). I have to say that motherhood, in the thick of it, is the hardest and most beautiful part of my life. It has been my defining work.

So, if you feel like your kids will kick, scream, and cry themselves into a puddle, if there were less toys, less classes, less sports, less commitments. Remember this: If you are maxed out, they are maxed out.

My very normal kids hate picking up toys. Actually, I think they hated it even more than I did. They hated being corralled into the van. They hated the rush and my grumpy “Where in the world are your shoes!? Why are they in the bathtub? Can anyone answer me this!?! WAIT!?! Why are you covered in purple paint? OMG, I don’t even care. Come on. We are SO late. Please, please, please just put your shoes on.”

Despite what it seems, minimalism is a perfect fit for families. Here is how we started this journey with the toys. (Because no one likes living in a house that looks like a daycare crossed paths with a tornado!) I had this conversation with my four kids who at the time were 3-8:

“I think I haven’t been doing a good job. I think maybe I’ve made it too hard for you guys to pick up your room. The job is simply too hard. And that’s my fault. So here’s what we will do. You pick up as many toys as you can handle. Then I will come clean up the rest. I’ll put them away on this special toy shelf. Anything you can take care of, just pick up and you can keep that in your room. The only rule is, only keep as much as you can handle. If it gets to be too much for you to take care of on your own, I’ll come put it away.”

They managed to clean/organize about 5 toys. All the rest I took out of their room and put on a “toy shelf” that they could swap toys (if their room was clean).

It also made it simple to see what toys we could sneak away in the dark of night. If they hadn’t picked the toy off toy shelf in a few months, obviously it wasn’t a high-value toy. (If your 4-year-old willingly parts with toys, I salute you, dear Jedi Master! We are SO not there yet!)

For parents who are terrified to start, this is about an easy of a sell as you can get. And my kids loved it. No shame, no blame. Just me making their life easier. No more cleaning, no more tears over not being able to organize their room.

Big family minimalism.

When you walk into our home, “minimalism” might not be your first thought. Nothing, and I mean nothing, is white (even stuff that was white when we bought it!). There is a pile of shoes and coats and winter boots by the door. It’s loud with laughing, playing, and often someone is crying. I’m probably making chocolate chips pancakes. I’ll make you a cup of tea, but a toddler will interrupt our conversation every 90 seconds.

But if you look closely, you’ll see a family flourishing with less. Happy, healthy and whole. Our days are full of reading, writing, folding laundry, hiking, gardening, and travel. We eat real food, at a table. We have adventures on the weekend and a game night each Friday. We get enough sleep and have real conversations.

Sometimes I let myself wonder what our alternate life would look like. What path our three adopted kids might have taken if they didn’t end up together with us? But I don’t stay there long. Because my 90 seconds is up and a 4-year-old is peppering me with questions again (that I have already answered 12 times today).

Jillian drinks tea daily and writes about intentional lifestyle design, mini-retirements and creating financial freedom over at Montana Money Adventures. She lives in Montana, right by Glacier National Park, with her husband, 5 kids, and dog: cheesy taco. 

Big Family Minimalism posted first on http://ift.tt/2lnwIdQ

Big Family Minimalism

This is a guest post from my friend Jillian. It dawned on me, recently, that I don’t think I’ve ever had a guest post about family. Jillian is changing that in a BIG and meaningful way.

I never searched out minimalism. Rather, I stumbled upon it first as a type of survival tool. Our story is a bit of a winding and twisting journey. But our minimalism story starts 3.5 years ago, while I was sitting in a job interview and honestly killing it. The interviewers were over the moon happy to hire me on the spot, but I was distracted. I was trying to hold focus on the interview, but my phone was exploding with text messages and missed calls.

See, while I was interviewing my heart out, a 5-year-old boy with big hazel eyes had just been dropped off at our house by a social worker. He had been in foster care for a while and had disrupted from the last 5 homes. (This happens when foster parents or the birth family aren’t able to meet the child’s needs and a new family has to be found.) The social worker was rather confident we couldn’t handle him either. I have soft eyes and a sweet smile that hides the depth of my love, tenacity, and gumption. She mentioned, almost offhandedly, he also had two little sisters. No other family had been able to keep them together and the “state” didn’t want to attempt to place them together again. I just smiled my sweet smile and said, “Well, we aren’t every other family. When you are ready, we are ready for anything.”

It was lie. No one is ever fully ready. His little sisters moved in a few months later. I quit my job. I lived at the end of my rope for the next year.

Having four little kids at home is a lot (6, 5, 2 and 1). Just that alone. But it wasn’t just that. There were 12 appointments a week of various meetings, therapies, and with professionals. There were difficult visits with birth parents. There were court dates and a rotating door of overworked social workers. There were lawyers, judges, and court-appointed advocates. There was the uncertainty of not knowing what the future held for these kids I loved so much.

Plus, there were these sweet kids. They had seen so much trauma and neglect in their short lives that every behaviour was broken. I had the skill, knowledge, tools, and love that was needed. But I was exhausted. Like lay on the floor at night after I tucked them in and cry silent, hot tears exhausted. Until their nightmares started. Every one-to-two hours during the night for 3 years.

It’s all too much. A life at the end of our rope.

We were all at the ends of our rope. While it was challenging to be the ringleader of this circus, it wasn’t any easier for my kids. The two-year-old had lived with 5 different families before us. She called me and her birth mom, mama. They had to be dragged to appointments and meeting after meeting. They had their own trauma and no skills or words to express what they were feeling.

Just getting them ready for the twice-weekly visits with birth parents would nearly break us. They were excited, terrified, overwhelmed, full of dread, happy, conflicted: all at the same time. So they hit each other, melted down, took off their clothes, bit each other, screamed, hid and lost their coats. It was like dressing a whole litter of pissed off kittens into costumes and taking their picture. I would arrive to drop the kids off at the visit only to be criticized, belittled or ignored by the birth family. I would smile my sweet smile then go cry alone in my mini-van.

The foster care process isn’t easy or fun for anyone—not foster parents, not kids and not birth families. They lived in a constant state of anxiety not knowing if they would be with us for the next birthday, or at Christmas, or when school starts. No one knew.

So minimalism found us.

I imagine most people start with minimalism with their stuff. Decluttering and all. Maybe they need an awesome blog, or hear a podcast, and think “I SHOULD get rid of some of this stuff!”

I needed it in every area of my life, all at once. I dubbed 2015 the year of “Easier, not harder”. That was my only litmus test. Is this easier or harder?

I stopped wearing color because I didn’t have the time or skill to coordinate outfits.

I said no, and opted out of most of my commitments that were, in fact, optional.

I pulled my kids from sports.

I ate the same breakfast every single day.

I told all my kids teachers we weren’t doing any homework. ANY. No signing reading charts, no math worksheets, no flashcards. We aren’t doing it. I’m not signing it. Honestly, I’m not even going to look at it. I was so thankful for what the teachers were doing at school, but I couldn’t add “teacher” to my list of things to squeeze into our evenings.

I had to set boundaries with professionals. “No, I can’t change our appointment time every single week. Either keep our set time, or we skip it.” With 12 appointments on the calendar, having them all shift by 30 minutes or 2 hours IS a big deal.

I had to learn minimalism in my relationships. Most people were incredibly supportive, encouraging, and really understood the importance of what we were doing. And some people . . . didn’t. I didn’t have any leftover emotional energy to hear, “Why are you doing this? Why don’t you just give them back? The system is so broken, you shouldn’t have to put up with this. It’s fine if you want those kids in your family, but even if you adopt them, it doesn’t mean they are part of our family.”

I started owning the fact that I live in a real human body that needs food, water, exercise, and sleep. I started to accommodate those seemingly unreasonable demands of my non-robot body.

Bit by bit, we were doing better. Not just surviving with our nose barely above the waves, but almost flourishing.

Then in the same week in June 2015: We were officially asked to adopt our kids, and we found out we were pregnant.

Enter minimalism, level ninja.

I’ll admit, I had a bit of a mommy meltdown when I found out we were pregnant. Sure, we had spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on fertility treatments over the years. Sure, we had tried for 7 years. But now? Adding a baby definitely didn’t fall into my “easier, not harder” motto.

We had been shopping for a bigger house. We were a family of 6 in 1,650 cozy square feet. A bigger house seemed to make sense. Every single person who came to our house echoed the words, “So when are you moving to a bigger place?” like it was the chorus line in a Disney movie.

But the saying “a baby changes everything” is true.

Turns out, we didn’t want more and bigger. Our entire life already felt “more and bigger”. We wanted less. Actually, we all needed less.

Less clutter. Less cleaning. Less overwhelm. Less hectic.  Less appointments.

We needed margin for the right kind of more. More engagement. More quiet. More stories and cuddles. More adventure. More travel. More time in the garden. More focused time. More creativity.

More stuff and more space weren’t going to give us any of that.

We donated 50% of the kid’s toys, and decided to only keep 3 out at a time to play with. And I saw the kids settle in. Instead of the anxiety, overwhelm, fighting, and frustration they felt when confronted with a massive heap of toys, they just played. Slowly, carefully, thoughtfully with one toy. There was no cleaning up, correcting, and promoting at the end of the night. Each child set one toy on a shelf and it was over. That one simple change freed up a mountain of emotional and relational energy.

I made it a mission to touch every item in our house. I would ask a few questions. Is this a “hard-working” item, or is it “lazy”? Because we didn’t have space for lazy items. Our home couldn’t be a storage unit for barely used items. I would ask, “If I didn’t already own this and saw it at a yard sale for $5 would I buy it instantly, and with joy?” Because if it doesn’t add $5 of value, it doesn’t deserve a place in our home.

Minimalism is an act of faith at first. We paired our life down—appointments, relationships, classes, sports, commitments, stuff—with no guarantee of a better outcome. There was no promise in writing that what we would gain would be better than what we were letting go of.

You pull your kid from a sport and just hope. Hope that the extra two hours a week somehow adds as much value as the sport was adding. It takes a bit a faith to hold space. To create margin and not rush to fill it up again.

We got rid of “perfectly good” toys. (Ok, and a crap ton of McDonald’s happy meal toys.) It’s an act of faith to say, “We are going to donate all these ‘perfectly good’ toys that at one point we actually spent money on,” and just hope that “less is more”.

To the parents.

I kind of just want to give you a hug, at this point. I’ve raised six kids (my oldest passed away). I have to say that motherhood, in the thick of it, is the hardest and most beautiful part of my life. It has been my defining work.

So, if you feel like your kids will kick, scream, and cry themselves into a puddle, if there were less toys, less classes, less sports, less commitments. Remember this: If you are maxed out, they are maxed out.

My very normal kids hate picking up toys. Actually, I think they hated it even more than I did. They hated being corralled into the van. They hated the rush and my grumpy “Where in the world are your shoes!? Why are they in the bathtub? Can anyone answer me this!?! WAIT!?! Why are you covered in purple paint? OMG, I don’t even care. Come on. We are SO late. Please, please, please just put your shoes on.”

Despite what it seems, minimalism is a perfect fit for families. Here is how we started this journey with the toys. (Because no one likes living in a house that looks like a daycare crossed paths with a tornado!) I had this conversation with my four kids who at the time were 3-8:

“I think I haven’t been doing a good job. I think maybe I’ve made it too hard for you guys to pick up your room. The job is simply too hard. And that’s my fault. So here’s what we will do. You pick up as many toys as you can handle. Then I will come clean up the rest. I’ll put them away on this special toy shelf. Anything you can take care of, just pick up and you can keep that in your room. The only rule is, only keep as much as you can handle. If it gets to be too much for you to take care of on your own, I’ll come put it away.”

They managed to clean/organize about 5 toys. All the rest I took out of their room and put on a “toy shelf” that they could swap toys (if their room was clean).

It also made it simple to see what toys we could sneak away in the dark of night. If they hadn’t picked the toy off toy shelf in a few months, obviously it wasn’t a high-value toy. (If your 4-year-old willingly parts with toys, I salute you, dear Jedi Master! We are SO not there yet!)

For parents who are terrified to start, this is about an easy of a sell as you can get. And my kids loved it. No shame, no blame. Just me making their life easier. No more cleaning, no more tears over not being able to organize their room.

Big family minimalism.

When you walk into our home, “minimalism” might not be your first thought. Nothing, and I mean nothing, is white (even stuff that was white when we bought it!). There is a pile of shoes and coats and winter boots by the door. It’s loud with laughing, playing, and often someone is crying. I’m probably making chocolate chips pancakes. I’ll make you a cup of tea, but a toddler will interrupt our conversation every 90 seconds.

But if you look closely, you’ll see a family flourishing with less. Happy, healthy and whole. Our days are full of reading, writing, folding laundry, hiking, gardening, and travel. We eat real food, at a table. We have adventures on the weekend and a game night each Friday. We get enough sleep and have real conversations.

Sometimes I let myself wonder what our alternate life would look like. What path our three adopted kids might have taken if they didn’t end up together with us? But I don’t stay there long. Because my 90 seconds is up and a 4-year-old is peppering me with questions again (that I have already answered 12 times today).

Jillian drinks tea daily and writes about intentional lifestyle design, mini-retirements and creating financial freedom over at Montana Money Adventures. She lives in Montana, right by Glacier National Park, with her husband, 5 kids, and dog: cheesy taco. 

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