"In the world there has been only one positively beautiful person - Christ.  Therefore, the appearance of this wonderful, infinitely beautiful person is in itself an infinite miracle.  The entire Gospel of John is devoted to precisely this. In it, St. John declares that the whole miracle is in the incarnation alone, in the very manifestation or emergence of the beautiful."

~Fyodor Dostoyevsky

"Magnificat anima mea Dominum

Et exultavit spiritus meus in Deo salutari meo...

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord

my spirit rejoices in God my Savior..." Luke 1: 46-55

Made with pencil colors and markers at November 29 of 2022

so how about that durge

Wyrm on a string

More SS Link + Zelink <33

Do you think god lives in fear of what they've created.

free falling

Also there're so many reasons why durge might want to deny Bhaal, aside from general "killing is bad, the god of murder is bad."

Orin betrayed them and it was somewhat from silent approval of Bhaal, so "god betrayed me first" kind of narrative. A desire to get revenge, on Orin AND on Bhaal.

A desire to live. Durge's fate, Durge's Destiny is to literally kill everyone and then themselves. What if they want to live? What if desire to live is stronger than desire to kill?

Alternatively, what if there's someone they don't want to kill? A single person for Durge to care about, a single person they would want to save instead of bloodying father's altar with their blood. A single connection like that is all what it would take.

A desire to break free. Durge can be completely okay with murders, loving murdering people even, reveling in violence. But they're their father's puppet and they could want to break free of it, to have their own will, to have only their voice in their head. To be a master of themselves with no one to kneel to.

The "I'm better than my father" kind of mindset. Durge is made of a flesh of a god, in a sense they ARE god. Bhaal was mortal once. Why would Durge listen to him when they can attempt to overthrow him, to become a new god?

Being compelled to other side. It's not unknown for gods to steal each other's followers/chosen ones. Look at Ketheric, look at Shadowheart. Myrkul is recently chosen-less after the Moonrise Towers. Bane would love to fuck with Bhaal like that. Shar is there. Good gods who would try to redeem Durge or use them against their own father are there. It would be a delightful power move from Selune to offer Durge assistance/ an alliance against Bhaal.

Idk, I just love how multidimensional the defiance of Bhaal can be. I have a lil army of Durges exactly because I can mold them into such different people

I swear the funniest thing antis will do is say "how can you ship Ghoulcy when he did xyz to her" and then in the next breath will turn and be like "anyways he sees/treats her as a daughter and he's gonna be her father figure." Oh I'm sorry, The Ghoul? You mean the same person you were just saying was so horrible to her? That Ghoul? You're cool with his actions now?

Like the things he did only get brought up when we ship them, as if it's not the same person they champion as her new dad. I understand if personally you don't like it when one half hurts the other in a ship (or when both do), that's completely fair, but I'm pretty sure no likes it either when a parent/parental figure does the same to their (surrogate) child, so like what's the math here 🤨

HANG ON-

charlie slimecicle is like barbie in the sense that he too can be anything

noticed that they like to put little parallel moments between current day rafayel and his other lives. i don’t know what to do with this other than rotate it in my brain :3

more under the cut + some spoilers for him in general

left: deepsea riches. he’s teaching mc how to use the fishtail beacon

right: main story, 7-6. he’s helping mc use her evol to resonate with the coral stone

left: deepsea riches. he’s taking mc out of the palace that she’s never supposed to leave

right: nightly stroll. he’s taking mc to investigate a fish pond by akso hospital. this time, he’s the one who’s not supposed to be outside

left: sea of golden sands, part 3. the glowing blue fish appears after he promises to come back for mc one day after she sets him free from enslavement

right: nightly stroll. the glowing blue fish appears after mc chooses to either never make rafayel wait for her again or wish for him to be reunited with the girl who saved him from dying stranded on a beach

left: fragrant dream. he and mc are on a boat. he is gazing at her when he comments on how beautiful the scenery is.

right: blossoms, kindled 3. again, it’s not the scenery he’s looking at when he agrees that the ‘view’ is beautiful.

i’m sure there’s more than i didnt catch or havent seen but these are the ones ive noticed between the cards i have and myth chapters ive unlocked ;w;

ohhhhh they won’t be able to keep their hands off each other

I should get an award for my restraint in not automatically blocking people who say things like "I hate paladins, they suck so much, they're the worst class bc their vibes are so bad" on my posts that even just mention paladins.

RIP that you and most people do not understand paladins as a class and do not understand that their narrative is not just "stick in the mud who loves being a cop", but I'm different and I think they're incredible and they're one of the classes with the best inherent narrative

2021 ranboo: nervous about wearing nail polish and refuses to say "penis" on stream

2023 ranboo: has a vtuber with a dedicated "big ass titties" mode and referred to a crucifix as a "cruciFUCKS"

thinking about the oldest dream and secretive plotter again. what are you supposed to do when you want to die so badly you reincarnate as an outer god, alone in the world, with only yourself as company. and you watch this part of you that wanted to live so badly forget why he wanted to live in the first place, yet still continues the infinite and unending quest for an end-- a happy end, one you know does not exist. and yet- and yet theres someone new, this time. an outlier youve never seen before, in the hundreds of lives that you have lived. and he promises that other you a happy ending. and they fight for a happy ending, together. and you don't really know if you wish you were there too, but that outlier dies because of the person he loves most. and that person is you. and at the end of it all when youre taken to watch this separate you get the happy ending you never got, and you finally face the star that has forced you into this horrible, unending cycle of death and misery, its that very same person. who would one day die because of the person he loves most. you. and it is a child, with too much on his shoulders. and that person - the outlier - he looks at himself like hes a monster, instead of a person, just like the rest of them. and he expects you to do the same. but you can't. that little boy is not a monster. he never was.