Ya know... over time... ummm... Idk how to put this cus it's gonna hurt someone's feelings.

I used to identify as endo. In my teens when I started to realize I was multiple and I started trying to communicate with them... when it still wasn't apparent to therapists and I was labeled bipolar with schizo-affective or outright schizophrenic. Back in those days, I genuinely believed I was psychotic. Things were weird. I had a lot of hallucinations, I had a lot of switching.

I was still a kid. I didn't want to believe I had childhood trauma even though I knew the kids had memories that I didn't, even though for a time I believed they weren't in there... I believed they died... I believed a lot of things, a lot of things that weren't true. I held on, tooth and nail, to the idea that we were multiple because we were just meant to be that way. The voices in my head during this really spectacular thing I went through told me so, after all.

Shit came out in my teens, and my mother eluded to the place where it happened. I still denied it. We're multiple because we always were.

In my adulthood, through a fair amount of research, I learned a lot about DID and multiplicity. I'd already been to inpatient three times, on countless meds, diagnosed with just about everything except DID. I had spoken to some therapists about it, only one ever made me feel like she believed me (my therapist in highschool).

In my mid 20s, sometime after being formally diagnosed with DID (and learning how... not great that actually is in terms of accessing mental health services), I spoke with my aunt about what my mother had told me in my teens, and she revealed the thing I didn't want to accept: I am a survivor of CSA at a very early age, my parents knew and did nothing because they didn't know what to do about it. I had a bit of a mental breakdown after that, and I think that's really when I accepted that we were what others would call "trauma-caused" or "traumagenic"... and furthermore that even my hallucinations, which I'd had since childhood, were largely a part of PTSD which had been triggered by an assault at 13, bringing a lot of my dissociative symptoms to the surface and starting the journey to communicating and vague attempts at healing that were mostly aimed at trauma that occurred in my teens.

I fell upon Paul F. Dell's work on Structural Dissociation and something clicked. I had identified that I was always multiple because I didn't ever remember not having them... I just didn't always understand what they were, so for much of my childhood (and teens), I explained them through what language I had --- as ghosts or something supernatural. I was haunted, afterall, by my own skeleton.

It made sense, and still does, that yes, I always was multiple, and that's why the endo label appealed to me and why I secretly held onto it beyond accepting my early trauma. The reality is that the trauma didn't make us, the trauma didn't allow us to develop normally. The further reality is that the early abuse was only a piece of that - that other instances of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse at the hands of both adults and my peers played a role. Being neurodivergent and trans played a role. Being queer but devoutly Christian played a role. The fire that burned my childhood home to charcoal played a role. My parents fighting and separating played a role.

And here's my point. Trauma is a wide and deep category. Maybe had things been different, if I'd had a home life where my parents were more supportive, had I been taught to cope, had I been able to talk about what I was going through and actually process it, maybe I wouldn't be multiple. Trauma is a lot of different things but it's the surface of what's really going on in a child who becomes a teen and eventually an adult with DID.

I never coped with any of the things I went through as a kid. I never processed them in any substantial way. I never healed. My brain was too full of PTSD for it to be able to do the things everyone else's brains did: unify the sense of self.

In this respect, we're all multiple as children. Being a parent, I see this everyday in my 4yo, who has two others: D & Monster. This is developmentally NORMAL for his age. It IS NOT at my age, 34yo. He is what is literally an endogenic multiple. I am not anymore. And I am not because I passed the threshold (7-10) without reaching that milestone because of PTSD, which universe willing, he will unify when he's old enough.

So here's what I'm getting to.

You can identify as Endo, and I'm cool with that. I can accept that you feel this way because I felt this way once too. I will happily accept you into spaces I inhabit that are intended for multiples. If you're multiple, you belong here.

I do have a problem with blogs promoting this like it's this... ugh... how do I say this without upsetting you? I think it encourages people to avoid processing and healing. I think it encourages people to avoid their feelings and ignore that shit in their childhood effected them. I think it encourages denial and a misunderstanding of what DID and OSDD are. I think it's harmful to everyone.

To have DID, to really be multiple past the threshold... you have childhood trauma - major and repeated stressors that you were unable to process and cope with. It's the only way this developmental milestone doesn't happen.

That doesn't mean you were physically or sexually abused. It really doesn't. Neglect is trauma. Bullying is trauma. Moving a lot is trauma. Being an outcast is trauma. Struggling with symptoms of neurodivergence or mental illness as a kid with no idea why it's happening or why people react to it how they do, or having sensory issues that no one accepts or helps you navigate (etc) is trauma. Being in a car accident is trauma. Death of a family member is trauma. Being constantly ignored is trauma. Not having enough food is trauma. Parents separating is trauma. Major illness is trauma.

There are so many fucking things that are trauma. It does not matter that you don't think it was ever "bad enough" to cause DID. Clearly it was. All it has to be is a thing child you felt couldn't be addressed, that child you couldn't cope with... so you buried it and it took up so much of your brain, that you were unable to unify (or at least completely).

You have trauma. Maybe it's not the shit movies were made of. Maybe it's not the kind of trauma that other people will readily express sadness or anger about, but it's still real and it still effected you.

No matter how you want to address your multiplicity, or how you desire to identify... you owe it to the kid you once were to tell them it's ok to feel however they did about whatever it was, and it's ok to talk about it and express those feelings.

I want you all to understand that this is a piece of healing you all need to look into - not because you need to magically unify as an adult (frankly, I think that's entirely misunderstood too), but because clearly SOMETHING effected you to make you who you are today, in all your multitudes, and you owe it to your future self to accept that you, like every person on this planet, has experienced trauma. You owe it to yourself to learn to accept that even if other people don't understand, your emotions exist for a reason and it's good and right to accept them and find outlets, which child you was unable to do.

And this goes ditto for anti-endos... or whatever the term for that is. And furthermore that those who identify as trauma-caused (etc) need to at least attempt to accept that plenty of folks who identify as endo... have DID/OSDD just like you. You can feel however you want about their identity, but the gatekeeping is toxic and it's harming the community, including survivors.

Hopefully the nuance isn't lost on... anyone.

If you need clarification on something, feel free to ask.

taking care

ok i was gonna make this a lot longer but then i was like “yeah what about we don't...?” ANYWAY! this was made because of this prompt by @sanderssides-prompts  because my brain got inspiration and how can i possibly say no? especially when it doesn't get it often

[chapter 1.5] [chapter 2]

Words: 1273 

ao3 link

~*warnings*~ magically turning into children, child!remus, child!deceit, crying, kind of hurt/comfort-ish?, fluff,

_____

Patton was In the kitchen when it happened, the moment it happened he could tell something was wrong, but when he heard the quiet sobbing from the door to the nightscape (as they liked to call it, since from what they found out all of the dark sons really liked space), now he had an idea of where the feeling of unease came from, so he carefully shuffled out the kitchen, they were all on better terms and (even if they werent) there was no way he was leaving them alone crying, so he opened the door and headed down the stairs

So that was how he found the two dark sides, child size and crying, he froze as his eyes landed on them, they were both very small and distressed, they were both in small animal themed onesies, and... they both looked so scared, that was what brought him back into action and he walked to them, his movements careful and slow as to not startle them, 

As soon as they both saw him dee made a noise of recognition and shakily continued to sit not ready to stand up and move, and Remus just ran over to Patton’s leg

Patton gently patted remus’s back and immediately went over to the little dee who was still very much shaking and without support, he carefully crouched down maneuvering Remus small hand into his own, so he didn't crush his little hand

“Hey little one, are you ok?” He asked voice soft and gentle, he was starting off gently and planning to guide them to the mind palace or carry them, then he would try to find out what happened, 

Dee looked up to him as he crouched in front of him “I’m good- I’m okay-“ he tried again, “I’m doing good-“ frustrated tears began to prick his eyes quickly, clearly not happy to be unable to communicate

“Hey hey hey- it’s okay,-“ he extended an arm to the kid in an attempt to comfort or soothe the younger deceit “are you trying to say you're not doing well?” 

Dee nodded carefully,

Patton hummed softly “is it ok if I pick you up Little one?” Dee nodded again and Patton did so gently, noticing how the smaller one curled up into his chest 

After a small moment his hand was pulled roughly, intending to get patton to pay attention to the other small one 

“I want to be picked up too!” Remus stated, almost offended he hadn't been offered to be picked up earlier,

Patton gave a soft laugh before picking him up as well, happy to notice the immedient beaming smile lighting up remus’s face, 

After a moment he took a small breath before speaking again “are you two ok with rising up? Or should we go back up the long stairs?” he asked 

Remus hummed “danger stairs!” he chirped

“Dee? Are you ok with the stairs too?”

Dee looked back up from where they had taken residence and nodded silently, he didn't want to rise up, it hurt his stomach, and even if the stairs did kind of scare him he was with dad now! He would be fine!

Patton nodded, and carefully adjusted them in his arms before heading up the stairs again, careful not to drop the two, after around 10 minutes they got up, normally it wouldnt of taken that long but remus, despite his best efforts couldn’t keep still and he really didn’t want to drop the two, when they reached the door he realized his stupid past self had closed the door so he had to ask Remus to open it, though Remus seemed happy to help, smiling giddily the whole time, 

And then finally, he was upstairs, he exhaled, “ok guys we’re here,”

Remus smiled wider before trying to get down and almost falling before Patton caught him and placed him down carefully extending his hand for the small Remus to hold onto, Remus smiled again before taking the hand and trying to wander off 

Patton huffed fondly “Remus, kiddo, you can explore In a little bit but right now we’re going to see Logan, do you remember Logan?” Patton received a nod and he smiled that he at least had that memory “good, we’ll go to him and then we’ll get dee to bed and then I’ll let you explore, how ‘bout that?” 

Remus huffed and pouted before eventually nodding “fine” Patton smiled as he looked from one of his kiddos to the other seeing how dee had already fallen asleep, he gave a silent chuckle before continuing down the hallway 

After only a moment or so he had finally reached Logan’s room, eternally grateful Remus didn’t try to go and knock on anyone else’s doors, he carefully let go of Remus’s hand only to feel Remus shuffle back to his leg, he knocked on the door and after hearing quite a bit of shuffling there emerged Logan staring at them all before pinching his temple and speaking

“What happened?”

——

Patton chuckled as Remus began to pull his arm again, as he was sitting with Logan, now finished explaining what happened in his presence luckily it wasn't a long story, though Remus was still impatient “dad!-“ Patton smiled softly at that -“you said when dee-dee fell ‘sleep and we went to Logan I could explore! And-“ he gestured to the sleeping form of dee curled up in Logan’s bed -“ he’s asweep! And -“ he pointed at Logan -“we met him! So can I finally explore?” remus asked pouting And stomping his foot

Patton sighed before looking at Logan “can you watch dee for a bit? When he wakes up I’ll make them both food,”

Logan nodded and Remus gave a cheer throwing his arm up in victory, Patton smiled softly, before Remus ran out of the room in a hurry since Patton wasn’t getting up fast enough “cya letter lo! I gotta go supervise” he walked towards the door before he gave a small wave and left the room,

After a moment he sighed as he realized he had lost complete eyesight of the little octopus 

“Rem! Little kraken?” he sighed again as he began looking 

———

Patton looked increasingly tired as he saw Logan walk in, hand in hand with dee, he still gave a smile at them as Remus struggled in his arms 

Remus’s eyes lit up when he saw dee, “dad! Dad! Can you put me down! Dee-dee’s here!” 

Patton huffed “do you promise not to try and go in the oven to see if you have yeast in your bones again if I set you down?”

Remus groaned clearly unhappy with the compromise “fine,”

Patton smiled tiredly before setting him down, Remus immediately ran towards dee and threw himself at dee into a hug almost taking them both down

Patton smiled as dee just laughed sleepily and wrapped his arms around remus

Patton looked from the sight back to Logan “Remus is an energetic kid,” he gave a small, tired laugh “he’s even wearing me out, though he’s a sweet kid,” he stated earnestly, “Logan now that i can watch them both can you find out how long they’ll be like this?”

Logan hummed “i will, but in the meantime you should get roman or virgil to help take care of the two of them,”

“Lo i don't need hel-” he cut himself off when he met logan’s eyes, he sighed “fine~ i will, thank you lo,” 

Logan smiled briefly before heading to his room 

Patton returned the smile before turning back to the two

“Now, who wants to help me make pancakes?”

 Second Time is the charm

 "Oh God, who's dead or dying?"

 Tony turns around, spatula in his hand and a confused look on his face.

 "Huh? No one is dead or in the process of getting there. I'm just cooking."

 "Yes you are. Which is why I'm asking."

 "Rude, Pepper." he gestures with the hand holding the spatula, accidentally flicking sauce in her general direction. "Oops, sorry 'bout that."

 Pepper looks at him, unimpressed. She does that a lot. Then, she dips a finger into the drop of sauce on the counter top, and in an spontaneous boost of bravery, tastes it. To her credit, she manages to keep a mostly straight face, even when her insides shrivel up at the sensation - there is a whole lot of salt and little else. Probably a bit of an burned aftertaste, too.

 Tony, however, is well practiced is reading her micro expressions - they've been friends for too long.

 "That bad?" he asks, and Pepper just looks at him, very very flatly and then nods.

 "Who are you planning to feed this to, and what horrible thing did they do to deserve this?" she asks, getting a glass from the cabinet and filling it with water from the fridge dispenser.

 Tony sighs, waving the spatula around as he talks, splattering sauce around the kitchen once again - Pepper tries to side steps the mess.

 “This was supposed to be a test run. You know the wedding anniversary is coming up and I was gonna surprise Clint with a nice dinner at home. He cooks all the time and I wanted to return the favor, but, well.” he waves at the half burned and over salted mess on the stove. Then, Tony dips a spoon into the pan to taste it - his face scrunches up in disgust and he drops the spoon into the sink and nearly dumps the pan after it, making a gagging noise and glares in the general direction of the ruined dinner.

 “Maybe not. Unless giving your partner food poisoning is considered romantic these days. Even then… Okay so this was a shit idea.” he grumbles, clearly annoyed and more than a little disappointed.

 Pepper has been typing on her phone ever since she learned the reason for the cooking attempt, making thoughtful noises. Now, she quickly walks over to stop Tony from making any harsh decisions right now. Gently, she grabs him by the shoulders, stirring him away from the stove. He lets her, and her next words are firm but reassuring.

 “Stop. Don’t move. Help is on the way.”

 As if on cue, footsteps come closer to the kitchen. A familiar voice says,

 “Please tell me nothing caught on fire.”

 And another sighs, “Oh dear.”

 In the doorway stand Bruce and Steve, clearly expecting the worst and prepared for everything. Tony would be offended but as it is, they’re his best hope right now. Pepper may be a good moral support, but she hates cooking, so he is actually happy to see those two.

 “Not yet but I’m working on it.” he quips back, grinning brightly for a few seconds with one of his million dollar showman fake smiles. Then his face falls.

 “Please help, I’m about to throw this whole thing out the window.”

 Pepper leaves them to it, with a small smile and a kiss to his cheek she turns to the door.

 “You got this. Just don’t attempt doing this alone on the day and you’ll be fine.”

 Meanwhile, Bruce inspects the concoction on the stove with a mildly curious expression that he’s often wearing in the lab, mainly when something unexpected and slightly concerning happens and he wants to see how it’ll work out. Steve, in good foresight, pulls out more ingredients from the refrigerator.  

 Both of them taste the sauce, despite Tony’s warning protests. They taste it very, very carefully and it’s a testament to their friendship that they do so - neither of them spits it back out but the cringe is enough.

 “Okay, let’s start neutralizing the salt for one.” Bruce decides, and who would have known that heavy cream and honey help with that - so does the stretching of the liquid. In the end, the three of them manage to salvage the meal, and even more so, are able to enjoy it despite the burned bits they need to pick from their plates.

 A little while later, when they clear the table and get to washing up, Steve says,

 “Let us help on the big day, alright? Just to be safe.”

 “Please do.” says Bruce, and Tony huffs a laugh as he stands in between them.

 “I hate you both.” he claims, but the fact that he’s got one arm wrapped around each of them and the happy smile on his face betray him. Pulling his friends close, he adds, “Really tho, thank you. I would totally screw this up otherwise.”

 “We know, that’s why we’re here.”

 “Oh, fuck you!” he scoffs, but they’re all laughing.

 *+~

 On the morning of the second wedding anniversary, Tony wakes up to a text message from Clint.

     ‘On the way back rn, debrief on base after. Might even make it home on time! :) I Love you’  

 It brings a happy smile to his face, even early in the morning before he’s had coffee. This mission had come up last minute as always, and the possibility of them having to spend this day apart had been quite high. As it looks now, they might at least have a nice and quiet evening together, and it’s more than they could have hoped for.

 Tony types a reply,

     ‘Good morning beloved, that’s great news - you better get your ass over here asap, I miss you ;)’  

 Then he opens up another chat, his ongoing conversation with Natasha which for about 60%, consists of memes and links to obscure YouTube videos.

     ‘Hey-o, can you please let me know when you guys are wrapping up at HQ? Possibly distract Clint if you finish early? Gotta prepare a surprise. Should be done around 7-ish.’  

 Her reply comes almost instantly.

     ‘Sure thing. Happy anniversary :)’  

     ‘Thanks, Itsy-bitsy. You’re the best :)’  

     ‘I know.’  

 The day passes surprisingly fast, then. One moment, Tony is relaxing on the couch, drinking coffee while Lucky sprawls happily over his legs as he scratches the good spot behind his ears and then, his phone alarm goes off that tells him he’s got a cooking date with Steve and Bruce. And because these guys are amazing friends, they show up on the door to the penthouse just in time for the three of them to start preparing a nice three course dinner.

 It’s fun, and with the “adult supervision” Tony finds himself perfectly capable of doing this.

 Once upon a time, this would have been impossible.

 “Tony, you’re one of the smartest people alive and you have many talents - but cooking isn’t one of them.” he’s been told on more than one occasion, and it’s been true for most of his life. But things are different now - he wants to learn. He wants this small part of everyday life.

 Those last few years, he finds himself happier than he can remember being, possibly ever, and it feels simply amazing to have this - this life, this love. This      family    .

 Just as he’s put the main course into a low oven to keep warm, the door opens just in time for him to enter the hallway, and then Tony gets pulled into a embrace and lifted off his feet for a moment.  He holds on tight, then he pulls Clint down for a proper kiss to welcome him home.

 “Hey there.”

 “Hey yourself.”

 The two of them take their time in greeting each other, and despite being apart for only about a week, it feels like they haven’t seen each other in forever. And it’s their anniversary, for fuck’s sake. They’re allowed to be as sappy as they damn well please - at least until Lucky interrupts them because he’s tired of waiting and jumps up on Clint until he’s slobbered all over his face and happily demands cuddles right then and there.

 Dropping his duffle bag to the floor, Clint asks Tony what he would like to eat and it causes him to smile knowingly.

 “Can I cook for you?” he asks, and Clint looks at him, blinking.

 “Right now? I mean… Don’t take this the wrong way Babe but is that… Safe? We can just order something in if you want.”

 “Trick question, I already did. Well, I had help. So it won’t send us into the hospital if that’s what you’re concerned about.”

 “Wait, you-” Clint steps closer to him, gently placing his hands on Tony’s upper arms as he smiles at him. There is something soft in his eyes, and Tony falls in love all over again.

 “You made an effort to cook something for today even though you almost never do?”

 “Yeah, I- I wanted to do something nice for today, and I didn’t know when you’d be home so I didn’t book anything. Besides, you cook and bake all the time for us, for      me    , and well. I appreciate that a lot and I just wanted to do this for you. I had help, but yes. Come on!” He pulls him into the dining room, which he’d actually decorated. Nothing big, just a few candles and a bouquet of flowers but it does look nice.

 On the table, there is a large bottle of Asgardian mead, a gift for them that Thor left before he went to spend the weekend with Jane in New Mexico.  It’s strong, and more than even the two of them can finish in one evening. But it’s good, and they know it.

 The dinner is relaxed as always, and they enjoy each others company and the conversations - anything and everything they can talk about, and while Clint fills him in on the latest SHIELD gossip and rumors, some of which leave Tony laughing hard enough that he almost chokes on his mead, he tells him what has been going on back home, including the first dinner mishap and how their friends had saved his ass.

 In the meantime, Lucky has made himself comfortable under the table, chewing on one of his giant treats.

 They’re just starting on the main course - steaks with garlic potato casserole and roasted asparagus, when Clint says,

 “This is really good, Tony. Thank you. For the effort and for doing this.” He smiles, and reaches over with one hand, which he happily takes and squeezes back.

 “I’m glad you like it. And it makes me think that I should do this more often, since, well, you do it all the time. Seems fair to do my part, you know.”

 “You do other things all the time. It’s just… Both of us do different things, and that’s okay with me. I like to cook, you build and fix stuff.” He shrugs. “Love languages and all that.”

 A while ago, they’d talked about that for a bit, and it’s true. They show their love and affection in different ways sometimes, and that’s okay - they know and recognize these things by now, and it only helps them understand each other better.

 “Well, cooking is kinda fun.” Tony says then, and a big smile spreads all over Clint’s face.

 “We could do that together if you like. I could teach you and we could try new recipes!” He’s clearly excited about that, in this familiar and almost childlike way of his, and it’s all Tony can do to agree. God, he loves this man so much.

 By the time dessert is on the table, they share that and a pot of coffee and have moved their seats even closer together, ankles hooked around each other.

 “Oh hey, I’ve got a surprise for you, too.” Clint says then, as if he just remembered but he pulls and envelope from somewhere on his person which makes it clear he’s been waiting. The envelope is thick and slightly off-white - clearly good quality paper. Curiously, Tony opens it up.

 There is a card, and it looks handmade. Sturdy, structured paper, and two birds on the front - parrots on a tropical island.

 On the inside, there are just a few words written, in Clint’s familiar large scrawl, but it makes him smile widely.

     ‘Voucher for two weeks vacation on Bora Bora. All responsibilities back home are covered’     it says, followed by a time frame,       ‘Happy anniversary. I love you’    and a lopsidedly drawn heart.

 “Aw, that’s great! Thank you. How did you manage that all is covered?” Tony asks, beaming at Clint - it’s been too long since they actually had any time off without being interrupted via The End Of The World. And they’re in desperate need of a break and some alone time.

 Clint just grins. “Magic and good friends.” he says ominously, and leans close to Tony, pulling him into a soft kiss as he runs one hand through his dark hair.

 Once they break apart, Tony takes both of Clint’s hands in this, and despite being happy and content he looks a little bit nervous - there is no need to, he knows, but still. Clint seems to catch on to it, looking at him with his head crooked slightly to the side.

 “So, uh, dinner wasn’t the only surprise I had for tonight.” Tony says, and takes a deep breath.

 “This is kinda ridiculous, given for how long we’ve been together already and especially how that happened, but. I was wondering, would you like to marry me agan? Sober and properly this time?”

 The answer comes almost instantly, in the form of another long kiss and an enthusiastic “Yes, of course!”

 It takes them a while to let go of each other again. But they happily continue drinking coffee and eating chocolate mousse, simply enjoying the time together.

 “Same day?” Clint asks, pragmatic as always - neither of them is great at remembering important dates - two different wedding anniversaries would be too much for people like them who were to forget their own birthdays if it wasn’t for JARVIS and teammates who know them too well.

 “Yes, please. Everything else would just call for a disaster.”

 “It would. And hey, we can avoid Fake Elvis this time!”

 Tony laughs out loud. “I’m sure he will be heartbroken.”

 “Oh well.” Clint shrugs, grinning. “He’ll live.”

 *+~

     Prompt No. 54: “Can I cook for you?”  

Quick Thoughts on The Royal Retcon Book 1 Chapter 11

• You've gotta admit, guys. This series spends more time retconning various aspects of their original story than they do on the actual premise.

• The food fight was wild and chaotic, the background history is always welcome, seeing Jess and Blake was nice and the moonlit hot springs scene was a nice change from everything...but my head is spinning from the constant shifts, okay?

• To avoid seeing my QTs in your dash, blacklist the following tags: #trh quick thoughts, #trh qts, #trh qt reblogs, #long post.

• Screenshots:

Hana: The Abhirio YouTube channel

Maxwell: @thethots-plicken and @itsbrindleybinch

Drake: The HIMEME YouTube channel

• Title: The Prodigal Father

Alternative: Most Parents in TRR Shouldn't Have Even Been Parents To Begin With

• The last chapter ended with a surprise twist: the return of Barthelemy Beaumont, father of Bertrand and Maxwell Beaumont. We had a lot of questions. Did Bertrand know he wasn't dead? Did Maxwell not know he wasn't dead? What the hell was he doing all these years and why had he left his sons in such a horrible position?

• Turns out the writers may have taken a leaf out from a Hindi serial or something coz - drumrolls - he was in a coma!

• Why do we never hear much about this so-called illness or even have a name put to it. What mysterious illness caused Barthelemy to deteriorate so much that he was trying out miracle cures from quacks and that he ended up in a coma for years? Why were his next of kin not informed when he came out of it or while he was rehabilitating? Why the heck wasn't Maxwell telling his wife this, or Bertrand his girlfriend? There is so much about this plot that doesn't even make sense.

• How does Barthelemy remember Drake from the court days but not Savannah ("Liam and Drake, you're so grown up now! Miss Savannah, you're lovelier than your reputation..."). Somehow he knows what's been said about Savannah and about Hana's accomplishments - wait if he'd been mostly getting his body back in order, how would he know this stuff? Who is telling him this? (Godfrey?? Is that why he's so faux-patriotic around us now??? Is that his real reason for visiting Cordonia only once a year or something?)

•

In Liam and Drake's cases, Barthelemy says the same thing about how Maxwell outdid himself by bringing the MC to the House, and that she has brought prestige to the Beaumonts. It's in Hana's and Maxwell's cases that the dialogue is different. In Maxwell's it's obviously as his daughter-in-law that he greets you, and in Hana's he speaks of now having two "daughters" in his house.

• Barthelemy then gets to the more serious part of his departure - the fact that Bertrand had to shoulder the responsibilities of being Duke earlier because of Barthelemy's condition, and that now Bertrand can relax while his father takes care of things at the estate. Is that care for his son talking...or his desire for control? I'm leaning towards the second.

• I'm pretty sure Bertrand is leaning towards the second because he's looking pretty resistant about this sudden change. His bride-to-be, Savannah, in the meantime, is super happy to meet her father-in-law and son's namesake. Hah. That'll change.

• Maxwell is nervous. Because he wants his father to see how different he is now, and how responsible he has become, but doesn't know what his old man will think. Don't worry, Esther says, plan this smartly and you'll get a new Pictagram follower!

• In any case, Maxwell's friends promise to help him get through this and support him, except for Drake who thinks he can impose limits (like "no singing"), because, yknow. The universe has to revolve around his comfort zone. Must be a Walker trait.

• More Jess and Blake nuggets! You get an option to ask them how they met, and they tell you about the cruise they first worked in (and presumably where Jess' sister met Liam's brother and (optionally) married him) and how they used to butt heads often. Nice RoE nugget, too bad the writers have so far barely even remembered Liam's brother who is from that series!

•

Yeah yeah I know that Kiara is probably back in Castelserraillian like the other courtly ladies (or chilling in a hotel somewhere in Texas), but if they're all supposed to be there for the wedding Savannah might as well have included her. Not only is Savannah a stinky fiancée and a stinky person in general (not a surprise considering her family), she is also a stinky friend.

• I repeat: my MC Esther has done practically nothing for Savannah. Nor has Hana. Why are we such a huge part of her ceremony again when she already had a long-time friend from court who had actually helped her and actually cared?? Only because we're the ones on an extended holiday in her ranch? Then say that - why do you need to make such a long speech about friendship while snubbing the one woman who made a damned effort to help you? (oh...right. I keep forgetting. Kiara is only remembered when people want to use her 😒).

• At the start of the rehearsals, Savannah tells Jess about the horse-riding-to-the-altar tradition, complete with a saddle that's been a family heirloom. Bianca and Leona, apologetically, inform Savannah that they had to sell it. Savannah tries to mask her disappointment, but fails. Barthelemy in the meantime, jumps in, in what he assumes would be "saving the day" (it's not, Bartie Sr. It really isn't)

Bartie...dude...you just got here. You can't already know what'll make your daughter-in-law happy when you've only spoken to her for all of five seconds. Plant your ass at the back of the congregation where it belongs!

• The girl really really wanted that saddle, okay Bartie Sr? Allow her to grieve that lost dream ffs.

• This scene I guess is helpful because while it still places Bartie Sr rather awkwardly in the "father trying to make amends and be caring" category, it gives you an inkling of why that persona doesn't sit so well on him. Bartie Sr may assume that this is something a caring parent does, except that what he's really doing is taking over, making all the attention revolve around him, believing he knows best and not listening to anyone. Even when he's being "nice".

• That saddle is going to come back some way or other, and it's probably going to be a diamond option, for which the free option is Savannah walking down the aisle with Bartie Sr. Eh. She threw a tantrum at my reception so her boyfriend could marry her, I'm not about to get her her dilapidated saddle. She can make do with her crusty father-in-law.

(The other possibility is that [at the end of the chapter] Bertrand left the house to get it or something idk, and it might be free after all. Is it too late to ask for the entire WEDDING to be a diamond option?)

• So this exchange leads us all to the Beaumont brothers remembering their childhood. Maxwell views it all through rose-coloured spectacles, Bertrand has very different memories of that time. Which is such a change from the previous series! I mean, wasn't Bertrand the one who kept going "my father's legacy, my father's legacy", while Maxwell was the one who didn't have very good memories of that time?

I can always imagine that Bertrand's views on his father must have changed when he started taking on the responsibilities of a father himself (thus making him view his childhood as 'not normal'). And Maxwell may well have come to appreciate Bartie Sr once he began taking House responsibilities. But guess who is breaking their heads to make these "connections". Us. Not the writers. Not the team in charge of this story.

• There are two PoVs to this scene: Maxwell's and Bertrand's. Maxwell's is the one that is lighter, funnier, showing us a wilder side of his brother, Bertrand is given the meatier one, with intrigue and a hint of plot.

- We're taken back to when Bertrand's motorbike was just purchased, and the boys choose to take it for a test ride. The Bertrand shown here is kinda similar to the one in the 6-years-ago flashback in Book 1, just...younger and cuter. Apparently in the time that Bertrand was living alone in a house with Maxwell, he aged like an avocado.

- What's with using this team and using the Waverley kids' faces for the Beaumont brothers??

- Young Bertrand and Maxwell don't mind living on the wild side - taking the Cavilieri Novanta 9S on a test drive through different areas in the estate, planning how they'll debut this beauty at the Beaumont Bash and generally making a racket. Bartie Sr scolds them from the window of his office, then asks them to come up and see him there. Bertrand opts to protect little Maxwell from his father's ire by going there alone, and then telling his brother that their father is "very proud" of them. Maxwell doesn't question this (the writers have forgotten that Young Maxwell was perceptive even as a little boy, so I'm not quite buying that he simply accepted what Bertrand said at face value), and jumps instead into planning a logo for their biker jackets (he suggests a kraken and a tiger). They can also opt to have a special kraken-related handshake.

- Bertrand, however, fills in the blanks, speaking to us about what he witnessed at the office, and what actually transpired.

-

This conversation is the point of the whole scene, and is connected to the Young! Drake scene in the sense that Bartie Sr and Godfrey are from the Great Houses that Constantine mentions are opposing the alliance with Auvernal. While they don't tell us what has disappointed these two so much, we do get the idea that they are displeased esp with the Queen because she has somehow convinced Constantine to not agree with what the two are planning so quickly. It's very possible that their frustration with Eleanor might have gotten them involved in some way with her death, but it's also possible that there are other players involved.

- Bertrand does not focus much on this bit because Bertrand is young and his priorities are different. The interesting thing about using these childhood flashbacks for the characters is that we will always get an incomplete picture, if only because the kids' priorities are different, and for them these side discussions will always count as "adult stuff". Big, scary, too complicated to understand.

- We do get a mention of Maxwell's weight (finally!). The writers frame it as Maxwell losing his weight after his mother's death and getting his regular exercise with his brother. This we get to know by Bartie Sr's fat-shaming comment about not wanted to see Maxwell get back to his "wide suits" (Seriously. Fuck this guy).

• Hypocrite alert! Godfrey who treats his perfectionist daughter as a failure just for existing and being a girl, now thinks he can yap about "being too hard" on one's children. Go fuck yourself Godfrey Not Gao (this nickname was brought to you by @callmetippytumbles).

• The bit that's most important to Bertrand is that he tries to pass an overdue bill to his dad, and his father ignores it to concentrate on "bigger" things. Which kinda leads you to believe that the problem existed waaaaay before Bartie Sr started believing in miracle cures for his mysterious illness. In fact I'm pretty sure both those things might be fabricated.

• So that's what Bertrand is trying to tell us. That Bartie Sr expected his sons to understand responsibility when he was not exactly ready to live up to that example himself. It still doesn't make sense though, considering every time Bertrand spoke about Bartie Sr it was as if he had to uphold the same legacy, and everytime Maxwell spoke about him it was to highlight what a disappointment he was to his father...and funny enough they've now switched roles.

• Anyway, Maxwell is now more inclined to believe Bartie Sr has turned a new leaf, while Bertrand is wary. He is not wrong about the controlling aspect though, even when his dad is trying to be nice he's being a controlling ass.

• Hana comes in and comforts Bertrand, in a scene I found pretty touching. She knows plenty about controlling, overbearing parents who expect plenty from her but fail to measure up to the little that she asks of them. I love how she makes the point that, having support or company of any form, works to lessen the pain of that kind of upbringing...and she knows this because she never had it.

• The bonding that takes place between Hana and Bertrand is lovely, although it's marred by the fact that were we going by the original idea of the Beaumont brothers' lives, Maxwell would be the one she'd be comforting.

• Two bits that stood out to me were where Bertrand offered to make up for all those years of disappointment and pain that Hana suffered, by being a sort of stand-in older brother now - and Hana's response to the whole idea of mending bridges:

I love the fact that she says this even as she still maintains her complicated relationship with her mother. It's small but a lot more than she was allowed to say earlier. In Book 3, a lot of what they had Hana say to Lorelai was more for Lorelai's benefit than her own (constantly educating her and telling the family that the most important thing was that they be happy together). Her responses were centered around Lorelai's comfort, not Hana's conflict. At least here, she gets to state (while safely away from her parents) how complicated her relationship with her parents is. I just hope this is not the last time we hear about it.

• It's now time for the rehearsal dinner! Everyone's seated at a pop-up restaurant Blake and Jess have made for the wedding, and includes the courses for the special day. It's bruschetta, a quiche and the wedding cake for dessert.

•

Auntie Bitch I hope you realize that the biggest freeloaders in this house are your own nephew and niece! Drake doesn't have a job until his wedding is over (unless one counts moaning and griping while enjoying shit that his BFF has paid for, his job (oh...wait...maybe that's why "Constantly Complaining Freeloader" was listed as a job description in his Italian Restaurant scene lmao)). The other biggest freeloader is your niece, who didn't mind accepting money from Maxwell and then turned around and acted towards Bertrand like she didn't need his damn money that she was already using.

• Also for the amount of complaining Leona has been doing for her own niece's wedding she might as well have not hosted them at all. You took the responsibility, you made all the guests you were hosting do work for you and spent all your time mocking them for not having the kind of specific skillsets you grew up with. If you wanted to stay alone with your sister in this crusty dilapidated ranch where you probably don't even pay people fairly, you could have told Savannah to go somewhere else. Like Applewood. Or Ramsford idk. You couldn't even save the saddle your niece would have wanted for the wedding, and if that's not a pointer to what a failure you are, Leona, IDK what is. So maybe stop acting like you're better than the nobles and keep quiet.

• Bianca states that she has never depended on the Crown yet somehow left behind both her children whose well-being was largely being maintained from the Crown coffers???

• But also given the response to Liam I have a feeling we might have a flashback from her next chapter. While she doesn't appear as angry as her sister, there is definitely an underlying bitterness there that I think the narrative might explore before we leave Texas. Idk.

• Bartie Sr focuses his attention on us again, insisting that he is like a father figure to us. You can either firmly refuse (my favourite option), express pride in House Beaumont (which pleases Bartie Sr no end) or be polite (in which case Liam lets out a cryptic "how generous of you" aimed at Bartie Sr it one point, showing us that he's not very impressed. Hmm. Hmm.)

• Bartie Sr is being controlling again, complaining that the quiche is not an elegant main course and insisting to Savannah that she try whatever he is demanding for the wedding. He keeps saying "trust me Savannah, you'll love it!" as if he knows her tastes better than she herself does.

• Chuck tries to offer cake, and Bartie Sr in his eagerness to refuse accidentally tosses it over on Leona's clothes.

• That's kiiind of a breaking point with Leona, and to sum it all up, THIS happens:

Jess has seen and participated in utter chaos, okay. So for her to appear all flummoxed and say "it was...a lot", it really, really has to be a lot.

• My favourite parts have to be Hana and Liam thoroughly enjoying the food fight and finding it cathartic, because they're the two who most need to channel their repressed energies into that kind of catharsis. Drake and Maxwell don't feel this need as much as they do because they already have ways and opportunities to channel it.

• The fight allows both the nobles and the Walkers to meet on common ground - common enough ground that Bertrand can (if we choose) finally tell his father that he and Savannah can manage their own wedding, thank you very much.

• Funny how Bertrand is expected to stand up to his father and ensure that what Savannah wants is not ignored, yet Savannah herself never makes even a quarter of the effort that he does, in making Bertrand comfortable in her home. Why does Bertrand have to do all the work in this relationship? Why do I only see Savannah complaining when Bertrand is not doing things exactly as she wants them to be done, yet not even lifting a finger when he's the one who needs the help and reassurance? Perhaps the best option is if he becomes runaway groom.

• We get to give one (1) solitary fuck about the country we're leading when we're back in the bedroom after this whole skirmish has gone down.

• LI diamond scene! At a moonlit hot spring nearby. The scenes mostly include the mandatory admiration for the lingerie, awe at the scenery and once the sex is done, an exploration into family and children from the would-be parents.

Liam: Calls the MC a "twilight goddess fit for worship" as soon as he sees her with her lacy lingerie in the moonlight. If you've done those scenes, there's a mention of the Forgotten Falls and the Blue Grotto and how Liam has a penchant for whisking the MC away to secluded watery places. (Liam also mentions finding a matching pearl to the first one they got at the Blue Grotto, even though the writers have practically forgotten what has happened to that first one 🙄).

The MC can choose to either go fast or slow in the love scene, and afterwards, Liam wonders aloud whether all families are complicated. The MC can counter this, by telling Liam they can ensure their child never gets to the point that Bertrand or Hana have by ensuring the child has their space to be open about how they feel.

Caption: Spring Fling

Hana: The two women mostly admire each other in silence (Hana tells the MC she would simply like to look at her as the MC gives a twirl) and the MC suggests expanding the "sample size" of Hana's lingerie because Hana in the moonlight is a vision. Hana offers to massage the MC's shoulders, and speaks about wanting to get away from the chaos and check in on her. Hana wants to take as much of their alone time as possible to check if the MC is doing okay, which IMO is her way of maintaining a relationship - by giving her partner space to talk about how they feel, something she rarely had the opportunity to do. She also admits to how exhilarating the food fight was. Hana is playful and teasing in her love scene, and brings the MC to the point where she will beg for more.

Once they are done, the two speak about how being in this place is like being in a fairytale, and there's a particularly lovely line nestled in this bit:

I wished for storybooks with scenes just like this as a kid. Not ones where the princess got rescued by the prince or the knight...but where she found love and happiness on her own...and the freedom to embrace them.

It's...it's so beautiful 😭

Caption: Woodland Nymphs

Maxwell: Now obviously Maxwell has the most personal experience among the four this time, since it's his father that returned home, and it's his family that is now dealing with some tough, complicated questions. Some of that shows in this scene. It begins with Maxwell seeing the MC in her lingerie and confession he almost forgot she had them...which is a good thing otherwise he would never be able to concentrate on anything else. He speaks to her about all the things he loves about her and about their relationship - especially how much they make each other laugh. Underwater, the two let go of their restraint and make love with abandon.

The conversation that follows is the most important, exploring Maxwell's feelings about his father's return. He doesn't have a lot of memories of his father - most of it was from when he was very young, or from Bertrand's eyes. Maxwell is very happy that Bartie Sr has returned, and wants him to see how happy he is with the MC. He speaks of wanting to tell him about the social season, about marrying the MC, about his bestseller book. There is a cute bit where the MC asks whether he would tell Bartie Sr about the hippo tattoo and Maxwell seems almost terrified by that option. But overall, there is nervousness in his scene, and also hope. He definitely is invested in making his old man proud. Proving himself has always been a theme with Maxwell, and that need possibly will increase with the arrival of his father.

Caption: Blue Lagoon

Drake: Calls the MC in her lingerie in the moonlight, "art that should be in a museum". The two admire each other in their new lingerie, and then admire the scenery. Drake has brought the MC to the hot spring mostly because it was rumoured to be called "Makeout Point", and he's always been curious to see what the big deal was. The MC can point out the beauty and romantic potential of the area, mentioning that she can imagine a sixteen year old swooning if her high school sweetheart brought her there, "or a duchess, if her marshmallow brought her here". During the love scene, Drake likens her to a siren, the sex can either be rough or gentle and the MC can either take control or allow him to.

Towards the end, the two talk wonder how their child might be, who they would resemble. There's a bit of banter back and forth about how the world is not ready for their collective sass 😄 I think because Drake is the most comfortable with his own family now, that his conversations with the MC about family focus largely on his memories of good times, and on what their child will be like.

Caption: Spring Fever

• Why the hell are you guys ruining all that nice lingerie in water!!!

• After a few days, and presumably on the day of the wedding, Savannah comes to us, shocked and worried, telling us that Bertrand is gone. This could be either a fakeout leading to him trying to get something nice and romantic done for her, or his insecurities cropping up IDK.

• General Thoughts:

- As much as I'd LOVE for the twist to be that Bertrand has realized this marriage will never work and has called it all off, I know for a fact they won't let that happen. Either his insecurities have come to a head with Bartholemy's return and he needs time to clear his head, or he's gone all heroic and tried to get Savannah's saddle for her, which we then have to pay diamonds to retrieve.

- Some way or the other that saddle is going to feature.

- They'll have Bertrand do something heroic I guess so that Leona will FINALLY stop being a whiny asshole. And Savannah as usual? Will not even lift her little finger.

- I'm more worried about what Bartie Sr will be upto once he's back at Ramsford estate! Esp given that his controlling has already begun at an event as innocuous as a wedding. ALSO given that this man will be back in Cordonia!!

- We're obviously going to get more hints about our pregnancy in the coming chapter, that I'm sure we'll ignore coz we don't want to jump into conclusions like the last time.

- Hana's bonding scene with Bertrand reminds me a little of a scene in Book 2, where she speaks of how Bertrand reminds her a little of her father...in, like, a good way.

- If it turns out that Godfrey and Barthelemy were indeed involved in Eleanor's death, it will be the ultimate irony. It would mean that the present occupants of the duchies that were once undermining the Crown...are now their stanchest allies. Lucretia and Olivia's parents vs Olivia, Godfrey vs Madeleine, and Bartie Sr vs Bertrand and Maxwell. It would be a nice contrast.

- Istg if they try and make HAKIM AND JOELLE suspicious too I will literally throw hands 😡

- Jesus, the amount of retconning going on in this book. That scene would have lost nothing by making Bertrand the guy who was desperate to prove himself to his father and Maxwell the one who had mixed feelings. Having both of them overhear that conversation rather than one would have been fine too. But this is one in a looooooong list of things that the team is shifting around, believing no one will notice. Maybe I should just call this series The Royal Retcon from now on because there is more of that happening than actual babymaking!!

- I'm pretty intrigued by Liam's lukewarm reaction to Bartie Sr personally. What does he know. Why doesn't Liam tell me and why doesn't the MC ask!!

- Bartie Sr spends surprisingly little time with his own namesake, but perhaps I shouldn't be so surprised since Junior's own parents are hardly seen with him either.

- Next chapter is the wedding (if we can find the groom, that is), Savannah getting her dream entry (possibly if we pay the diamonds) and hints that we may be pregnant that will culminate in the big reveal at the end. Yay?

- I know I haven't gotten out a QT for Book 1 in two weeks but those past two weeks have been filled with lots of IRL stuff. Hopefully I'll get back to that soon.

- Until next week, folks!

your kind of heaven ||  pt 2 make out with me || luke hemmings

pt 1. || pt 2 || pt. 3 || pt. 4 || pt. 5 || Pt. 6 || pt. 7 || pt. 8 || pt. 9 || pt. 10

Shawn grins and wraps you in his arms when you arrive. “Hey you’re here! Did you have a chance to check out the condo?” He asks.

“No, I came straight here. I’m feeling inspired.” You grin.

“Ok, awesome. I’m gonna order food and coffee and we can get started in the meantime?” He checks.

“Yeah, Shawn. That’d be great!” You grin, setting your stuff down and pulling out your guitar.

Around week 4 you were enjoying a glass of wine on the balcony from the condo Shawn set you up in. Every song had been about Luke.

You always saw him in everything. The blue in the sky matching the color of his eyes, blankets weren’t as warm when they didn’t smell like him, clothes not as comfy if they didn’t feel like him.

So you pick up the phone, staring at it, and then looking back at the night sky. You decide on it, scroll the contacts and click on Luke’s name.

“Baby?” Luke asks, after only 2 rings.

“Hey handsome.” You let out a sigh. “Sorry to call so late.” You take a sip and look down at the ground. “Just… we were writing and I… I was thinking about you. I miss you.”

“You can call anytime baby, you know that. I miss you too though.” He admits.

“Luke… are we gonna be ok?” You ask, looking back out at the night sky.

“You staring at the sky?” He asks, passing over your question. ‘Mmmhmmm’ you hum. “Red or white?”

“Red.” You say, wondering what he’s getting at.

“I think we’re gonna be good babe. We’re staring at the same sky, drinking the same color wine, thinking about each other.” He says quietly.

“I really miss you.” You whisper.

“I can be there baby.” He whispers back. “I can get on a plane in the morning.”

“Don’t you have a thing.” It wasn’t a question, because you knew. You could access his schedule, you shared a calendar.

“Everything can be moved, babe, that’s not even that important. You though, being there for you… that’s important.” He argues.

“I’d like to see you.” You mention. “If you can?”

He hears the loneliness, it tugs at his heart. It makes him ache too. He missed you, but he was resigned to think that was only him, and to hear it wasn’t, to hear that you wanted him too, you missed him like crazy, he wanted the next flight. Whether it was 15 minutes away or 15 hours.

He knew he was being rash. He couldn’t catch the exact next flight. He’d need to reschedule what he had.

“Yeah baby. What if I come up for the weekend? I could come in… like Thursday night probably?” He asks.

“Really Luke? You’d do that?”

“You know i'd do anything for you, angel.”

“I love you Luke.” You say quietly.

“I love you.” He responds, just as quietly.

And then you guys just sit quietly, on the phone together for a while. At least a good 30 minutes, just listening to each other breathe.

You finish your glass of wine and look at the sky one more time.

“I’m exhausted Luke. I think I’m gonna head to bed. I hope I get to see you this weekend.”

“Have I ever let you down, my love? I’ll see you Thursday.”

You grin and bite your lip. You were ecstatic to see Luke, to let him hold you. “Mmm kay babe, I love you. I’ll see you then.”

“See you then, my love.”

You put your wine glass in the sink and cork the bottle of wine you’d opened. You take your rings off to wash your face and brush your teeth. And as your standing there, you stare down at them, and then pick up the engagement ring.

Luke had been strangely giggly that whole day, and he couldn’t keep his hands off of you. You’d spent the day at home, so it didn’t really matter, but he was touching you whenever he could.

You’d agreed to a mid afternoon nap with him in bed, and you were laying with your head on his chest. He played with your fingers.

“I wanna ask you something.” He'd said.

You looked up at him and smiled, “you can ask me anything, ask away.”

He reached over, pulling the drawer open on the nightstand, and grabbed something, closing it in his large hand, before knocking the drawer closed with the back of his hand.

“I love you.” He rubbed your back with his other hand. “I can’t imagine my life without you. I want you around forever.” He sighed. “And I wanted this to be a big gesture and super romantic, but I’m feeling it today.” He opened his hand, and set the box on his chest.

You sit up on your knees and looked at him a little panicked. “Luke.”

“Marry me?” He asked. You held your hands over your face as you started to cry. “Baby?”

“Yes Luke, of course.” You agreed.

He slipped the ring on your finger and pulled you close to him, kissing you. And it turned into an afternoon of sex, or making love, and a night of giggles and sweet kisses.

You smile to yourself. You missed the early days of you and Luke. You knew, deep down everything was still there, but you just hadn’t put in the effort. Neither of you had.

So Thursday couldn’t come soon enough and Shawn could tell you were a bit distracted. He wasn’t all in on Luke coming to visit, but you reminded him he’d already wanted Friday off.

You were texting Luke, you knew he had to be mid flight, but you couldn’t wait to get him here, to be kissing him, wrapped up in his arms.

You wanted to get him into bed, if you were honest. You always saw eye to eye in bed.

Shawn had different plans, as you waited. He showed up with a bottle of wine. He’d managed to get his shirt off halfway through, and sure, Shawn had a nice body that he worked hard for, but you were more than happy with Luke and his being a little soft around the middle, you loved it actually.

And Luke has some timing because Shawn pulls you in for a kiss as Luke is walking in the door. You push him off. “Shawn, what the…?”

“Uhh, what’s going on in here?” Luke asks, dropping his bag.

“Luke!” You turn and pull out of Shawn’s grip to go to him. Luke happily accepts you in his arms and he holds you a tight. You look up at him, “he kissed me, I swear.”

“I know what I saw babe.” He says quietly, nodding. His hand cups your face and he kisses you hard and deep, lots of tongue and he’s kissing you the loudest he could. “Missed you baby.” He says loudly. “Hi Shawn. Thanks for having Friday off. But I think we’re gonna want some alone time.” He holds onto you tightly.  

Shawn rolls his eyes but pulls his shirt back on and he leaves.

“I’m really happy to see you Luke. I’ve been thinking about you so much lately.” You mumble against his chest.

“Our house feels so empty without you.” He pouts. “I’ve missed you, I miss you next to me. When you called the other night… I can’t tell you how much I needed that.”

You push yourself against Luke’s chest and hold him tight. “I need you Luke.” You whisper.

He kisses the top of your head, “hasn’t felt that way.” He whispers.

“I know. Same could be said for you.” You mention.

“I know.” He agrees. “I love you…. now come make out with me, and I’ll love on you in the morning.” He coaxes, pulling you to the couch.

Luke is all smiles in the morning. Even with you riding him, all smiles and giggles around the moans. His fingers don’t grip as tightly as they had been, and it didn’t seem to be just about the sex like it’d become, it was about being close, as close to you as physically possible.

“Come here, I’m gonna cum.” Luke says quietly, pulling you down to kiss him.

The entire weekend went like that, hands on, sweet kisses, hand holding; all over the city, pap pictures, fan pictures, bottles of wine on the terrace, naked nights, morning sex, afternoon sex that flowed into naps, sex before bed that turned into cuddles and sweet talk.

You actually cried when Luke had to leave. You felt so close to him and you didn’t want him to go, but he needed to get back to the new album and you understood that.

“Love you baby.” He whispers into the top of your head, standing at the door.

“Love you Luke. Just a couple more weeks.” You mumble into his chest.

“Then come home to me, and we’ll keep working on this.” He pulls away enough to kiss you deep. “I gotta go.” He groans, squeezing you tight and kissing you one last time.

Shawn made the next few days stressful, he wanted to talk about Luke’s visit and he insisted on reminding you of all the things you’d complained to him about on wine nights or over dinner or drinks over the last couple years.

He liked to bring up the times you thought Luke was being clingy, or that he always put his music first, or the guys. That he never quit talking about having kids.

But looking back, Luke was just trying to be supportive and show you he cared, and of course he put music first, so did you and that was understood when you got together. And he’s always been straight with you about wanting kids. So you couldn’t fault him.

Ultimately, you were ready to go home. And once you were done, you left early.

You expect Luke to be gone, it’s not even noon when you arrive home, oddly Ms. P was gone, and it didn’t look like Luke had even slept at home.

You don’t think much more of it, he probably crashed at one of the guys, sometimes he did that even when you were home. So, you do some laundry and watch TV, take a nap. There wasn’t much in the way of food in the house so you end up at the grocery store, though inevitably you’ll order in.

You’re in the liquor section picking up more wine, it seemed like Luke had burned through quite a bit when you were gone, which was unusual, it wasn’t usually his drink of choice. But, you run into Cal.

“Hey you.” Cal says, standing at the other end of the cart.

“Hey Cal.” You smile. He comes over and hugs you. “How’re you? How’s the album coming?”

“Oh, we haven’t really started it.” He gives you a weird, but surprised look, he’s surprised you don’t know this. “Luke and Ash have both been working on some other things. Luke’s outta town with Sierra right now, they’re writing together for her new album. I thought you knew that…”

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masterlist || ashton || calum || luke || michael

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hilda/raphael

c-a support + paired ending

c

Raphael: Right, then this goes here. Hilda: Hello, Raphael! H: What exactly are you doing with that piece of wood? R: Hey, Hilda! I'm just doing this! Hyaaah! H: With your bare hands! Impressive that just the outer ring is left. It makes quite a nice circle. R: Yeah! I just gotta polish it up and paint it, then the base of the necklace will be ready. H: Sorry, did you say "necklace"? R: How’s it look? I bet it's the right size too. And this tree bark smells amazing! R: Now I just need to carve these boar tusks to hang from it. H: Boar tusks? R: I almost forgot! I was going to add these wolf claws too. And I could even add some color to them... H: And wolf claws?! R: Huh? Is something wrong, Hilda? H: That necklace! It has a certain, ah, rustic charm? R: You’re right, it really does! Want me to make you one while I'm at it? H: Oh no! I wouldn't want to trouble you. Besides, I think it would look better on you than on me. R: It would definitely look good on me, but this one's actually a birthday present for my little sis. H: For your sister?! I mean, ah... H: Don't you think she might like something more feminine? Something cute! R: Something cute? What's wrong with something tough and rugged? This necklace is gonna have tusks and claws and stuff! H: But girls don't usually go for tusks and claws and stuff. There should be flowers, or gems, or... H: Here, I can talk you through it. If you're making a necklace for your sister... H: You might try putting a pretty little flower in a small crystal bottle, and sealing it with resin. R: If you say so. But where would I find a flower that was pretty enough? H: Oh, honestly, I don't know much about flowers. But, hm, now that I think about it... H: I remember hearing about a splendid flower that only blooms near Fódlan's Throat. R: Fódlan’s Throat? That's on the eastern edge of the Alliance! I'd have to leave now if I'm going to make it back in time. H: Huh. Yeah, that does seem like a bit of a stretch. OK, let me think... H: Um, where'd he go? Well, no matter.

——————————————————————————————

b

H: Who is it? R: It’s me! Raphael! H: Oh, Raphael! I'll get the door. H: What are you up to? Oh, whoa! H: What an enormous crate! And look what's in it. Crystal vials, shiny rocks... R: And I got this too! H: Aw, what a splendid flower, and so fresh! H: Hey, wait a second, is that for your sister? R: Yeah, I finally got my hands on "something cute," just like you suggested. H: That's so nice! But...wait a second. Is this that flower from Fódlan's Throat? R: Of course! I had to run to make it back in time. It was a lot farther than I thought! H: You ran all that way? And while we're on the topic, aren't these Almyran crystals? H: Such fine carvings on them! They must be the work of a true artisan. It couldn't have been easy getting your hands on these. R: I figured I should follow your advice! You know more about what's stylish than I ever could. H: Well done. I'm sure your sister will be pleased. All that's left is to make that necklace! R: Yeah, about that... R: I don't know how to put it together! I've spent so long trying to figure it out that the flowers have started wilting... R: There are only a few nice ones left. H: Huh. That's not good. H: I could try telling you how to make it, but you can't afford to lose any more flowers... H: Oh, all right. Looks like it's Hilda to the rescue! I'll take it from here. R: Seriously?! You're really gonna help me? H: Sure! I make myself things from time to time. And this is definitely easier than teaching you how. H: But you owe me for this! I expect to be paid back. R: Don’t you worry about that! I'll find something really nice to pay you back with. H: It couldn't have been easy finding all these trinkets. He must really love his sister. H: Still, older brothers can be so dense.

——————————————————————————————

a

H: Hey, Raphael. I finally finished that necklace for you. Here you go. R: Huh. Oh! Whoa! This is incredible! And so shiny! R: You’re like an artist, Hilda! How did you do this?! H: Just like I told you. I put the flowers and the shiny rocks in a bottle, and then poured in some resin to preserve everything. H: I thought the flowers you had were looking a little pathetic, so I added a few of my own. H: It was hard work, making sure the flowers and the stones were spread evenly, getting rid of the air bubbles... R: What’s this? The part you hang around your neck? I thought you'd use the one I gave you... H: Oh, yeah, no. That's a cord I braided. I was going to use metal, but some people are allergic to metal, so I figured, better safe than sorry. H: Anyway, you didn't give me much to work with, and look what I pulled off! I'm a miracle worker. R: It’s gorgeous! Beautiful! I've never seen anything like it! Thank you, Hilda! H: Whoa, hold up, what's with the blubbering? R: It’s just... I bet my sister never got anything so pretty in her whole life! R: She’s had to deal with so much because of me! I never got her anything this nice and cute before! R: She’s gonna love it...and be so happy... H: Ah, um, OK. Yes, OK, that's enough. Come on, you're embarrassing me here... H: If you're really that happy, I'm glad I put some effort into something. For once. R: Don’t— Don't you always put effort into things? H: Hah! That's sweet of you, but no. I don't want to put in effort and then disappoint people. It's dispiriting, not to mention tiring. R: But what if they're not disappointed? Then they'd feel great and you'd feel great too! H: Yeah, you have a point there. I guess I'm realizing that now. H: You know, thanks to you, I'm starting to see things from my brother's perspective. R: What do you mean? Do you have a big bro too? H: I do. I've always thought of him as an overprotective nuisance, but now I feel thankful. H: Looking at you, I couldn't help but think, "Eh, sometimes big brothers are OK." R: I didn't do anything special though. It's natural for a big bro to look after his little sis. R: Oh! That reminds me! I still haven't found anything special enough to repay you for the necklace. R: I got an idea though. How about I help you make a tough looking necklace for your big bro? H: No need. I have a better idea. H: When the war's simmered down, why don't you and your sister come visit me? R: Really? That's it? H: Yeah, I want to make sure it suits her. And then I can adjust the cord, if I need to. R: Of course we'll come visit! I told my sis all about you and she already wants to meet ya! H: Well, good. I look forward to it. In the meantime, hold me close to your heart. R: Uh…what? H: That's what the necklace would say, if it could talk! "Hold me close to your heart."

——————————————————————————————

paired ending

Raphael returned to his hometown, where he served his liege lord as a knight for a time. Later, he gave it up to help manage the inn that his family had opened up during his time away. One day, to the great joy of Raphael's sister, Maya, Hilda came to visit. Maya had always treasured the necklace Hilda had made for her. Moved by this, Hilda gave Maya a new gift of a hair band, which inspired Maya to suggest that Raphael convert the inn into an accessory shop. Hilda decided to stay and help out, and eventually became the shop's proprietor and chief artisan. She moved in with Raphael, and the two spent their lives happily dealing in fashionable accessories.

Dimension Wave  Chapter 17 — 'kay

“… Full Harpoon.”

The sinister-looking Treant falls over defeated by that attack skill. Sheryl’s weapon of choice is a harpoon—a fitting choice for combat on the open seas and for spearfishing as well. I think it’s categorized as a spear, but maybe harpoons are a subcategory or something. Since joining our party, Sheryl leveled up four times to level 10 now.

“We’ve got about 500 of those Treant’s Wood already, right?” “Yes, but some of which are not of the best quality, so we should keep at it.”

Our whole party were unanimous in that we should use the best quality mats, even if we need to spend a little more money.

“I got Alto���one of my acquaintances—to take care of the cloths.”

Strong Cloth is apparently crafted from the Sewing skill. Getting 100 of them means needing a lot of both money and labor. When I asked him, all Alto had to say is to give him some time and he can fulfill it. He really is a slick merchant.

“And the iron too. We’ve gotta be very careful in picking our supply. There’s a lot of crappy iron lately.” “What dost thou knowest, Miss Kizuna?”

It’s because they’re smelted from Empty Cans. Now it’s all comparatively trash since they’ve sourced more iron ore.

“N-Nothing in particular. Anyway, we’ve just about got all of the required mats, right?” “… yep.”

Sheryl nods. It’s been a whole day since we’ve met her at the stall. Our method to defeating Treants begin with Shouko engaging them and I just simply chop ‘em down. They’re not strong monsters by any standards. It’s just that killing 500 of them is quite a lot. We had no choice though. Alto says that not many other crafting professions need Treant’s Wood, so you can’t really find much for sale either. Luckily, over the past two weeks, it seems like Sheryl has been tirelessly slaying Treants whenever she had the time to spare. Her low level sure didn’t make her work quick, but at least her weapon is good on them.

“Alright, then. Let’s get some more wood and head back to the First for the time being.” “‘kay.” “I was just thinking… you keep saying ‘‘kay’. Is that just how you normally speak or something?” “Yep.” “… are you speaking like that on purpose?” “Not really.” “Not that I’ve anything against it or anything.” “‘kay.”

That’s just the way she is. I don’t know whether to describe it as curt or to say she’s bad at speaking, but maybe it’s a form of communication disorder different from Yamikage’s. If you chat with her, she seems pretty normal. You get what her point is, but it takes a little more effort to do so. Well, all the other players are looking for the Third City. Anyone who’s looking to venture out to sea now is probably at least a little odd. … birds of a feather, you could say.

“… what?”

Whoops. She caught me staring. What excuse do I have?

“Oh, nothing.” “‘kay.” “Anyway, just a bit more to go.” “Yep. Kizuna, thanks.” “It’s not just me, y’know? It’s a team effort. That includes you too, Sheryl.” “… ‘kay.”

What? That “‘kay” sounded a little more dejected than usual. I guess saying thanks all of a sudden can be embarrassing. Shouko and Yamikage are both showing shining snickers which probably has something to do with making fun of me. I’ve gotta somehow fix that problem.

Anyway, what comes next happens two days after we’ve assembled all the materials. We’ve sourced good iron from Romina. And aside from relying on Alto, I also ran between the First and Second looking for some good Strong Cloth. They’ve been very helpful, but it left my wallet a little skimp.

Name/ Kizuna†Exceed Race/ Spirit Energy/ 26,430 Mana/ 4,300 Serin/ 16,040

Skills/ Energy Production VIII, Mana Production V, Fishing Mastery IV, Gutting Mastery III, Cleaver I, Speed Gutting I, Night Vision I, Transmutation I

Unlocked Skills/ Energy Production IX, Mana Production VI, Fishing Mastery V, Cleaver II, Helmsmanship I, Naval Combat I, City Travelling I

I’ve unlocked yet more skills; I guess it’s the fruit of my daily labor. But it’s not like I plan to acquire more skills right now though.

In any case, while I was running back and forth between the two cities, the three of them went hunting together. It wasn’t only to help Sheryl grind; the monsters at sea are damn strong. Shouko and Yamikage’s combat-oriented skills mesh well with Sheryl’s crafting and naval combat style. Still, Sheryl needs more levels to be prepared for what’s coming up next.

And without me there grinding with them, they don’t need to worry about that requirement either. All three of them are so uniquely specced out. You can’t help but think of us as a party of oddballs.

“… Kizuna, and everyone else too, sign this.”

While I was lost in thought of our skills and builds, Sheryl stood in front of the materials and handed us a piece of paper. I have to say that this feels a little sketchy, but it really isn’t.

“What’s this?” “This is a deed of joint ownership, isn’t it?” “I have heard not of such a thing.”

That’s an ex-frontliner for you. Shouko knows the ins and outs of everything. A deed of joint ownership. It’s a title deed for anything that’s high-valued to equally split the ownership between each person. In our case, it’s for the ownership of “Ship”. Nobody other than us four can put the ship in their inventory. And if the ship is to be sold, it’ll require the signature of all owners. The money received for it would be equally split between us four too. It’s really like the real thing IRL.

“Wow… I didn’t know there’s something like this.”

Well, it makes sense. If someone were to snatch something valuable and run away with it, it’d piss everyone else off. The craftsmen understand the frustration as well, I’m sure. Anyway, the three of us might be a little ignorant of the details, but we can tell that Sheryl is serious about heading to the sea.

This really makes my heart race. I don’t know what’ll happen out there, but I feel like the four of us can take on the sea.

“Alright, lemme put my name down then.”

On the piece of paper was Sheryl’s name already and as soon as took ahold of it, my name was printed on there too. I thought I had to type in my name manually. I passed it to Shouko beside me and afterwards, she passed it to Yamikage. With that, everyone’s name is on the contract.

“The ship, then, I’ll start working on it. I’ll contact you when it’s done. Do whatever in the meantime.”

Sheryl walks up to the pile of materials, fires her skill up, and begins building the boat. It probably doesn’t take too much time, but according to Alto, it takes a few hours if someone were to try to craft it at home. Since the boat is made to fit four and have enough space to move around in, it should be pretty accommodating instead of fitting perfectly. That’s maybe why we have time to go off and do our own stuff right now. But just watching her make it is tough. Someone like me with no skills in boatbuilding should get out of her way. I’ll put some faith in Sheryl and try to relax.

“So, Kizuna, Yamikage, what shall we do now?” “I have already mended my equipment the other day, so your faithful shadow has no needs.” “I was hoping to watch her build our ship.” “What a splendid idea! Well, then, let us give Sheryl our support.”

We stand far enough to not get in Sheryl’s way of building our boat but close enough to gaze at her working.

“…”

As always, she lacks much expression. but she took a quick glance at us with a weird look. Ugh… it’s my fault. I’m not physically in her way but I bet we’re messing with her head. No surprise there. W-Well, I’m sure she thinks that we’re all buds together in the same party, right? Maybe we’re getting a little too chummy too quickly, but still. In any case, I prayed.

Please, I pray that our presence will not negatively affect how the ship turns out…

contents: /prologue/ /ch001/ /ch002/ /ch003/ /ch004/ /ch005/ /ch006/ /ch007/ /ch008/ /ch009/ /ch010/ /ch011/ /ch012/ /ch013/ /ch014/ /ch015/ /ch016/ /ch017/ /next/

(how about leaving a tip for me?)

Spring 2018 Anime Overview: Aggretsuko/Aggressive Retsuko

Aggretsuko follows a cute red panda named Retsuko. By day, she’s a mild-mannered office worker dealing with a literal chauvinist pig of a boss. But by night, she vents her frustrations by screaming death metal. The show shows her trying to navigate her hostile work environment and daily life.

Aggretsuko is a simple but entertaining narrative with good characters galore. The animals choices for the characters are spot on (secretary bird, y’all) and the characters themselves are endearing and often have more depth than is first apparent. Fenneko’s sarcasm and social media saavy, Washimi’s no nonsense badassery, Gori’s excitable nature- it’s all great, it’s all dynamic and distinct. The humor lands well for me, the tone is balanced well between cynicism and optimism and it’s just praiseworthy all around.

But the true key to Aggretsuko’s success is probably in how much it captures the daily pressures faced by millennials, its target audience. Being overworked and underpaid, being taken for granted, struggling with whether you should take the risk and try to launch that internet start-up or continue at your soul sucking job, navigating sexism and generation gaps- everything in this show is so #relatable it hurts.

Retsuko’s entire gimmick even speaks to something women (and others) can relate to- having to suppress your anger and real frustration because society will use any opportunity to belittle women for being “emotional”  and dismiss them. Women are not allowed to assert themselves- studies show that in the workplace women are considered to be “too dominating in the conversation” even when they’re talking way less than their male counterparts. Retsuko has to play the part of meek, submissive employee, but at night, she becomes her true self and vents her rage. It’s so relatable, but also a criticism way women are forced to kill their true feelings for the sake of being a “good girl”. 

Indeed, Retsuko’s boss is openly sexist and abuses his power. In another Too Real moment, the show acknowledges that if he was reported, he’d just get a slap on the wrist. Men in powerful positions are let off the hook all the time.

But Aggretsuko offers hope as well. Retsuko ends up finding solace and support in other women. She is in awe of Washimi and Gori, who are successful women in high ranking positions. And Washimi and Gori end up befriending her and seeing her true rage-filled self and they are here for it. They jam with her, mentor her and have her back. And you know I’m head over heels for female friendships being super important and women banding together and being there for each other! We need this message of support and understanding in these trying times.

(there be spoilers ahead)

In fact, in a fantastic scene, Washimi even decides to do something about the sexist harassment of her friend and when the CEO immediately dismisses her concerns, she brings down the heat on him, reminding him this shit could get the company raked through the coals on the internet, so he better take it seriously. It was really satisfying to see this in the #MeToo era (and yes, many Japanese women are aware of and following the #MeToo movement , no need to concern troll about cultural differences).

But the show doesn’t say climbing the corporate ladder is the answer to all women’s problems. It is acknowledged that even Washimi and Gori have to “not ever show weakness in the office” though this (literally) strains them. And it’s acknowledged that reporting Retsuko’s boss is just a band-aid on the situation, as long as he remains in power, Retsuko’s still in trouble and even Washimi can’t get him fired. Washimi and Gori are also women doing their best to get by in a system that’s stacked against them. 

And that’s where Aggretsuko really seems to land. The system sucks, we need to support each other and do our best to survive in the face of it. Change may come, but it’s slow and hard, so in the meantime we have to do what we can to help each other get by.

One thing I really appreciate about Aggretsuko is it doesn’t resort to any Good Woman vs Bad Woman nonsense. There’s such a varied range of female characters with unique personalities and ways of handling things and the show celebrates that. Tsunoda is a girl who acts cutesy and sucks up to the boss in order to avoid his wrath, and in a less thoughtful narrative, she would be demonized for this and held up as the worst of women. But Aggretsuko treats her with empathy-when she goes out for a drink with Retsuko, she’s honest with her. She knows and admits she’s being fake, but she’s just trying to survive and she’s not ashamed of that. She wants to succeed in a hostile environment and she’ll use all she has to do that, even if people look down on her for it. But hey, she’ll also bro down with other girls and get real with them when she’s off the clock. That’s cool.

One narrative arc that Aggretsuko touches on really well is how people are led to believe romance as the essential the answer to all their problems. Retsuko hates her job so much she starts dreaming of landing a well-off guy and being a housewife, seeing it as the perfect escape. Washimi points out that marriages are difficult to navigate and being a housewife has its own challenges, but Retsuko so wants this to be the easy answer. And we’ve all been there, really. Who hasn’t fantasized about being swept of their feet by a rich person and taking it easy?

So Retsuko ends up wanting that fairy tale romance so badly that she decides this limp houseplant of a guy is her ideal boyfriend simply because he does one nice thing for her. She projects her perfect vision of a boyfriend onto him, ignoring his obvious flaws. She even swallows down her real feelings of frustration and unhappiness with them because she believes she needs this fake, perfect romance more than anyone. She NEEDS to make this work, even if it means not being true to her hardcore self.

The dude is also pretty much shoved into the relationship by his friend who insists he just NEEDS a girlfriend to be complete even though he doesn’t feel that way and is not interested.  This is two people who are just together because they’re told/feel they SHOULD BE- Retsuko subconsciously, Resasuke consciously. Retsuko puts her own needs aside in her struggle to make this work, while Resasuke doesn’t really put in effort at all.

That’s a really common scenario that people face and it’s an important issue to highlight. The show does well in representing how some romances just fall flat, and we make them into something they’re not to fit this image of romance we’re sold from infancy. That image is flawed and fake in the end.

Aggretsuko also really thankfully goes out of its way to subvert the Nice Guy TM nonsense with Retsuko’s friend Haida, who crushes on her. He admits he was jealous of her boyfriend and initially thought he was better for her because of how he’d known her longer, but then realized he only knew his idealized version of her. He expresses the desire NOT to idealize her, to know the real her and that’s clearly something that touches Retsuko’s heart. 

It was a very nice development, and felt like it was really deliberate as a takedown of the common narrative of men being “more deserving” a relationship girl just because they're friends with her and therefore “know all about her”. Ya gotta look at women as people, turns out! Or uh, as red pandas.

I really liked that we didn’t get Retsuko’s answer to Haida, because that’s not what it’s about. It’s about Retsuko becoming more comfortable with herself and finding people who accept her as a complex person, the romance is just a sidenote.

Aggretsuko was a solid narrative that treated its characters with respect and realism, despite them being funny cartoon animals here to sell you Sanrio toys. And it had a lot of relevant and well done social themes. That’s quite a feat. It was funny, it was warm, it was painful and it was just a worthwhile experience overall. I’m really glad it exists. Highly recommended, all around.

Animal food banks can help with pets' Thanksgiving feasts

It's said that dogs have owners, while cats have staff. It looks that way for this tabby, even though he doesn't seem too interested in this particular breakfast in bed. (Photo by Milda Puga via Pexels.com)

I'm not really a big Thanksgiving fan. The holiday, that is. Which is kind of odd given that I enjoyed Turkey Day as a kid.

We lived in the same small West Texas town as my Mom's parents, so all her sisters' families showed up there twice a year for the holidays.

It was fun to see my cousins. And the food was good. I still make my grandmother's dressing, referring to her handwritten recipe on a now food-stained notecard with wonderful old-school vague amounts and instructions: a touch of this and another egg or more broth (or both) if it's too stiff and taste while it cooks to determine if it's done.

But once all our families starting spreading out beyond the Lone Star State's boundaries and, sadly, we lost too many loved ones, the holiday's place on my celebration list slipped.

Two holidays too close: Plus, I've always felt that the holiday's timing was bad.

Both Thanksgiving and Christmas dates were selected, not historically set. And Christmas got there first. It's always seemed silly to me (sorry Abraham Lincoln and Sarah Josepha Hale) that Thanksgiving — in the United States; Canada's got better timing here — arrives around a month before yuletide celebrations.

Then there's the scale.

For most of my adult years, there's just been the hubby and me on the fourth Thursday in November. Our usual mini celebrations have made me more conscious of the traditional Thanksgiving feast overload.

I hate all the potential food waste, especially when so many are struggling to put anything on a table on every Thursday or the rest of the week year-round. So we've always supported food banks wherever we've lived with an extra Thanksgiving donation.

This week, I encouraged my Twitter friends and followers to do the same if they can.

If you can, consider giving to your local food bank. Its need may not be as extreme as shown in this clip, but some people everywhere are going hungry every single day. @CTXFoodBank https://t.co/fpR2Af5Gga

— Kay Bell (@taxtweet) November 22, 2020

Pets and the pandemic: Then I heard about another great charitable food option. Animal food banks.

During this holiday that usually involves the gathering of families, it must be noted that pets are integral members of many families. I've seen that up close and personal.

My mother would pinch pennies until they bent when it came to her own grocery shopping, but no expense was spared for her little dog's food and treats and toys and whatever else he wanted or she wanted to give him.

My mother talking with my younger, more spoiled furry brother. (Photo by Kay Bell)

While I chuckled at my mom's devotion, noting that the pup got away with a lot more than my human brother and I ever did, I appreciated how he made her smile and gave her a reason to get up every morning, even if it was mainly to take him for a walk.

Pets gotta eat, too: The support and companionship of pets has become even more important during the coronavirus pandemic.

Unfortunately, COVID-19 also has caused financial troubles for a lot of folks. Many of them are having trouble feeding their human family members and their fur babies.

That's where the pet food banks come in to help. Alley Cats, which as the name indicates focuses on felines, has a directory of animal food banks. You can search by your location.

If you need the help for your pet, please take advantage of it.

If you can support people or animal or both types of food banks with a donation, please do.

Don't forget your tax break: Again, I know you're not giving for tax purposes. But again, if you can get some tax benefit from your philanthropic tendencies, take them.

As long as a food bank, either for people or pets, is an Internal Revenue Service approved 501(c)(3), you can claim your donation. That's done on Schedule A if you find itemizing is still the best way to file. Or if you take the standard deduction, you can claim up to $300 in cash donations directly on your Form 1040 when you file your 2020 tax return.

Regardless of how you give, the main thing is that you follow the IRS rules for donations so that you can deduct them.

And even if you don't claim any tax write-offs, please accept my thanks for doing what you can to help others and all their family members this extraordinary Thanksgiving 2020.

Here's wishing you and yours, human and otherwise, a great Turkey Day!

You also might find these items of interest:

5 ways pets can pay off on your tax return         

Boxing Day giving and tax tips for cool and charitable cats       

Tariffs bad for businesses & consumers, good for food banks

  Coronavirus Caveat & More Information In 2020, we're all dealing with extraordinary circumstances, both in our daily lives and when it comes to our taxes. The COVID-19 pandemic and efforts to reduce its transmission and protect ourselves and our families means that, for the most part, we're focusing on just getting through these trying days. But life as we knew it before the coronavirus will return, along with our mundane tax matters. Here's hoping that happens soon! In the meantime, you can find more on the virus and its effects on our taxes by clicking Coronavirus (COVID-19) and Taxes.

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So! Family headcanon: What kind of influence do you think will Skulduggery have on the Edgleys (Alice, parents, maybe Fergus?) after TDOTL?

OKAY RIGHT BUCKLE UP I HAVE EMOTIONS ABOUT THIS also i see you over here in my notifications and i love you

okay so basically, i think melissa like. highkey hates skulduggery. as in, can barely bring herself to be civil to him, even for val’s sake. from her perspective, this is the skeevy Much Older Dude who essentially stole her daughter, encouraged stephanie to skip school, isolated her from people her own age and from her own parents and turned her into a mess and a killer. literally the only upside from melissa’s pov is that they’re not sleeping together. and even that has a yet tacked onto the end in the back of her mind

i mean, we all know skul’s no predator, he was her best friend for years and yeah they’ve got a codependency problem but he loves the very bones of that girl (in whatever way, platonic or romantic whatever), but that’s the image melissa gets of him, because she hasn’t seen them together like we have, and doesn’t know how deep the affection between them goes. she’s predisposed to think he’s taking advantange of her daughter, and to hate him immediately. 

desmond is less…vitriolic? about it. but he doesn’t particularly take to skul, either. he’s spent his entire life terrified of people like skul, gordon’s weirdo friends. even if skul puts in a lot of effort with des, it’s gonna take a long time for des to get over that lifelong prejudice, which was probably drilled into him over the years by fergus 

that said, i think fergus knows skul. or at least, knows him by reputation, if they’ve never met. he certainly knows his name, when he confronts val about teaching the twins magic. so he’s probably aware of both skul’s Bad And Scary reputation, and the fact that ultimately these days, he’s a good dude. he’s the one who keeps saving the world. probably fergus is instrumental in talking melissa into at least accepting that there’s no prising val from skul’s side and that to keep her daughter she’s probably better off at least being civil. i think fergus, for all his faults, has it in him to be a good uncle, and i hope val has a better relationship with him post-america in spx. so he calms melissa down and talks her into civility for val’s sake, because he can just tell that if it really came down to an ultimatum, val’s parents would lose. it would break her, but they’d lose. she’ll pick skulduggery, every single time. and he’ll pick her.

(i think skul has a tendency to have this effect on parents, bc his wife’s dad hated him too, and never got over it, although he learned to be civil for his daughter’s sake, which is pretty much the same boat val’s parents are now in)

and then val takes off for america, and everyone is kinda left reeling. her parents have to find out from skul. they’re not there to see her off at the airport, melissa doesn’t get a last hug with her daughter, they never get to have all the conversations they need to have so her parents can get all the shit they need to get off their chests, off their chests. and when they try to call her, she’s changed her number and basically cut off all contact with everyone

except skulduggery.

so for those five years, he’s basically their link with their daughter. he calls by the house a few times, and they have a very terse conversation about val, and then as soon as they know how their daughter is doing he all but gets the door slammed in his face. alice is just barely starting to toddle around on her own and while he talks to desmond and melissa manages a civil silence, she goes up to skul and puts her lil hands on his knee and starts going “Up, up” which is pretty out of character for her, bc she’s a shy child and doesn’t particularly like strangers, at which point skul has to awkwardly admit that val first let him hold alice when she was weeks old and he’s seen her fairly regularly since then and it just makes them angrier, that this man who stole their first daughter has apparently been getting in early with the second one, and he nearly gets punched

 i think tbh there’s a part of them that thinks val isn’t coming back? so they take out all their grief and pain and betrayal out on skul in a big way, bc when it comes down to it val isn’t there to defend him, and he won’t defend himself bc he knows she is coming back and he’s gotta try to build up some kind of neutral relationship with her parents or she’s always going to be torn between them. so he, for once in his life, keeps his mouth shut and lets them hurl whatever they want to hurl at him

eventually, after a particularly explosive confrontation, he’s out of options and he goes to fergus to pretty much beg for mediation. fergus gives him a fucking good talking-to, what are your intentions with my niece sort of thing, and kind of finds this grudging respect for skulduggery. like he doesn’t bullshit. he’s perfectly willing to admit that like, there’s nothing between him and valkyrie at the minute, nor has there ever been before, but if she starts something in the future he won’t push her away. he will literally be whatever she needs him to be, for the rest of her life. they talk it out like sensible adults and fergus agrees to have words with val’s parents on skul’s behalf

slowly and painfully over those five years, they build up something like civility. desmond invites skulduggery round for a cup of tea while melissa is out, and it’s very awkward, these two dudes - one of whom can’t even drink tea - sat round the kitchen table making small talk. desmond starts talking about the all-ireland football. skul would be utterly clueless, except that he’s had valkyrie basically living with him for the last nine-odd years and she loves it, so he claims to support her team, and it’s enough to get a conversation going. 

the second time he comes round, he’s just got off the phone with val crying her heart out to him about killing alice, and he’s twenty minutes late because he wouldn’t hang up until he was 100% that she was asleep again. he’s kind of dejected and realises he’s pretty much got to lie to her parents, tell them she’s fine, when he knows she’s a fucking wreck and its his fault

and desmond gives him side-eye and asks him whether he’s ever been a father, and asks whether he knows just how difficult it is to parent a teenager, how headstrong they are, how they rely on the adults in their lives to give them boundaries and protect them (he doesn’t say ‘not to drag them into danger and encourage them to make the same mistakes we did’ but it’s definitely implied) and skul just sort of very quietly admits that no, he’s never parented a teenager. He was a parent. He’s not anymore.

I never took your place. I was never a parent to your daughter. I’d die - again - before I let anything happen to her. 

Gradually, they defrost a little towards him. I like to think skul actually finds kind of an unlikely friend in fergus, reluctantly on fergus’ end. he’s got nobody to talk to. nobody who understands his valkyrie problem right now, and he can’t talk about her to her parents. but fergus is her uncle, he’s known her all her life, and he can give insight where skul is missing things, and they end up bonding over their shared concern for this girl. fergus is also using this time to kind of. dig out this dude that he’s pretty sure his niece has Feelings for and might end up having a thing with sometime in the future. possibly a vague attempt is made to civilise skulduggery - “your uncle took me to play bridge this evening, it was rather bizarre” - and tbh, i’m very fond of the idea that one time skul sees fergus use magic and is just like, well actually if you do it this way it’s easier? and it’s nice for fergus to have someone for once in his life that he doesn’t have to hide his magic from. 

they’re not friends, like skul and gordon were friends. but they’re two people val can have at the same dinner party and leave unattended in the same room for an extended period of time, and she can come back to find the worst thing that happened is skul showing fergus that horrific photo of her eating a burger or telling her about the time he “watched her inhale an 18 inch pizza”. as opposed to like. her father or mother decking her partner in the face 

when val comes home, she finds skul’s facade has settled. melissa refuses to have magic around alice, and a dude whose face always changes every time he comes round is out of the question (and skul was kind of reluctant to mention that when he used to see alice with val, he never had a facade on in the first place). so skul took china a photo of val’s favourite facade - the attractive one from her birthday and was just like, you want to get back in my good books so do me a solid and so now alice knows him as this guy in his thirties who’s round semi-regularly and she’s not shy around him anymore. it was like, his concession to val’s parents, him trying to show that he’s willing to put in an effort and make sacrifices to get on with them if they’re willing to do the same. and over the last year or so, they’ve finally let him spend time with alice - never unsupervised, and he’s still not to be trusted, but if alice approaches skul melissa doesn’t snatch her away anymore.

and of course, skul plays it off as like, “of course your parents like me. i’m likeable. i’m a gem. everyone likes me” but val cringes when she thinks about how hard he must’ve tried to fix things with her parents and how much shit they probably gave him that should’ve been directed at her and he did all that for her and she swears she’s going to get them all getting along if it kills her

but in the meantime theyve made a start

for the mini-fic prompt, might i request taagnus and #12?

12. things you said when you thought i was asleep. ( prompts — no longer accepting. )

also on ao3. major spoilers for episode 60. warning for lots of discussion of death and dying.

For all his neverending bravery, Magnus knows fear well.

It’s easy to be brave for the sake of others — getting the animals on this strange little planet he’s come to love over the past year to safety, that’s good, that’s noble, and he does it without a second thought. He does it without truly thinking of the consequences, if he’s being honest. Magnus rushes in. It’s his thing.

He ignores the shouts of Taako telling him to get his ass to the ship. Magnus’ mind shoots back to a year ago (almost exactly, he realizes); when their own planet was destroyed by this thing, this unstoppable force, none of them had been able to save it. They hadn’t even been able to try. They’d run away, only able to watch out the windows of the Starblaster as their home, everyone they knew, their family and friends and people who owed them money, were consumed. Murdered.

Perhaps if they’d had any idea it was coming, they could have defended their home, somehow. For all its faults, Magnus had loved that planet, and to see it blink out of existence like that —

He doesn’t want that to happen ever again. If that means staying behind and using makeshift weapons to kill as many of these things as he can, so be it. He’s got no illusions of his ability to survive such a thing, but he needs to protect this planet. He’ll run to catch up with the rest of them soon, he promises himself. They’ll wait for him. He believes that wholeheartedly.

And then he looks up. Against the dark sky filled with a creature he can’t really comprehend, there’s a tiny speck of light. Stubbornly, his mind refuses to comprehend it for a moment, but he soon recognizes that huh, that’s their ship. Leaving, again. Leaving him behind.

He can’t blame them — they’d tried to get him to run, too, but he’d stayed, and they’d had to leave to save theirselves, and he gets that, he really does, but he feels fear shoot through his veins regardless. The chill of being alone goes down to his very bones. All of the animals that call this planet home have fled by now, bear cubs and baby wolves all safe (or, as safe as they can be, which he suspects is not very and super temporary) in their little houses and structures, and Magnus stands in the midst of it all. A lone figure fighting. These destructive shadowy forces are surrounding him, wreaking havoc and tearing things down with what seems like zero effort, and Magnus is the last man standing in the fray.

Until he isn’t.

The last thing he sees is the Starblaster darting through the sky, away from this plane. He should be glad his friends have escaped safely, he thinks. His last thought should be one of relief.

It’s not. Instead, he dies afraid — for existence as a whole, and every other plane that this Hunger will devour, but also a selfish fear. Magnus has always thought he’d be fine with dying to help others, but the shadowy figures are going to destroy every living thing on this plane, so who has he truly helped? No one. He’s died for nothing, and it’s that thought that chills him to the core. It wasn’t meant to happen like this.

The world blinks out, and then reappears on the ship. Magnus has a black eye, and is in the same position as when they’d left, but with one notable departure: there’s tears rolling out of his wide, fearful eyes and down his cheeks.

—

It takes a while for them to find the next plane, and in the meantime, none of them are quite sure what to do with themselves.

Magnus would like to say that everything goes back to normal upon realizing their apparent immortality (or, at least, inability to die from plane to plane — but one fluke does not indicate a pattern, as Lucretia reminds them quietly, and they shouldn’t use that as an excuse to be foolishly brave. Magnus feels like that comment was directed at him, though there was no malice to it, only a soft worry that suits Lucretia well), but the vague unease of watching yet another world vanish eats at them all. Taako and Lup spend more time with each other than with the rest of the crew, as usual, but instead of practical jokes and ribbing on Barry, they whisper to each other. All of their jokes feel forced. Barry’s holed himself up with his science equipment, and Lucretia and Davenport have followed his lead, trying to understand what they’ve all seen, with very little success. Merle tends to his plants in the ship’s greenhouse, eats dinner with Davenport — the two had become much closer in their year on that plane, closer than anyone else on the ship, with the exception of the twins.

Magnus wanders.

They’d all seen horrible, awful things, but Magnus had been up close and personal with those sickening shadowy figures. He’d died, and that puts an isolation in his mind that he can’t quite describe — he knows, now, what it’s like to fall and stare up at the sky and know you’ll never see it again. He knows what it feels like to take a last breath. It’s terrible. The knowledge is his burden alone to bear — and at that same time that he’s glad none of the others had lived through such an event, it’s incredibly lonely.

Sleep eludes him, too — for when he sleeps, he dreams, and when he dreams, he sees destruction and death and his own death and wakes up gasping for air, or screaming, or with silent tears running down his face. The simple solution is to avoid sleeping for as long as possible. They’ve got a few year’s worth of coffee on board the ship for inexplicable reasons, and Magnus is fairly sure he blows through a year’s supply of it in less than a week, but it works. The bags under his kind eyes deepen, but it works; he doesn’t sleep for four days, and doesn’t have to deal with the nightmares.

The loneliness is still an issue, though. Everyone is preoccupied with their individual roles on the ship, but as the muscle of the crew, he doesn’t have much to do until they land on another fucked-up plane, and there’s no telling when that will happen. There’s only so many times he can wander the length of the ship without growing bored with that, too; it isn’t very big, and the view out the window doesn’t change very much from day to day. Nothing changes much, as is the nature of a spacecraft.

It’s about three in the morning by count of the clocks on the walls when he wanders into the kitchen and finds Taako sitting at the table. For once, he’s without Lup; he stands at the stove, something simmering quietly in a pan there, and fails to notice Magnus’ entrance.

“Hey,” Magnus says. Despite keeping his voice low, Taako jumps, and there’s an apology on the tip of his tongue before Taako responds.

“Hey, my man, didn’t hear ya come in! You hungry? You’re in luck, I’m cooking my world-famous cinnamon pancakes, guaranteed to blow your fuckin’ —“ Taako turns to face him, and immediately stops. “Woah. No offense, my dude, but you look like fried unicorn shit.”

Magnus huffs out a weak laugh. “Yeah, I know. Couple days of no sleep will do that to you.”

“You gotta sleep! Man, if I was you I’d be using this little lull in our mission as like, nap central. Twenty-four-seven dreamtime, that’d be the goal.” Elves don’t need sleep (even if they can sleep, technically), and Magnus knows that; he raises his eyebrows, but Taako just shrugs. “What’s eatin’ ya? Spill.”

“Just, y’know, bad dreams.” Purposefully vague — Magnus is trying not to think about the contents of said dreams, even if the memories of dying seem to haunt him even while awake. At some point on day three of no sleep he’d started hallucinating shadowy figures out of the corner of his eyes, much like the ones that had killed him; they appear now, and almost seem to be mocking him. He blinks hard, and they’re gone.

When he looks at Taako again, the elf has a level of concern in his eyes Magnus has never seen before. They’ve only known each other about a year and a half, hadn’t quite had time to bond before the mission had begun, and most of their time on the last plane had been spent on their own individual quests, but Magnus didn’t take Taako as the worrying type. Maybe he’d misjudged him, or maybe this is just a new level of awful that’s worthy of worrying over.

Either way, it’s uncomfortable. Magnus looks away, gaze directed at his own hands fidgeting on the kitchen table.

“Hang on, kemosabe. I got something that might help.” There’s loud clanging as Taako rummages through the cupboards, but Magnus still doesn’t look up until Taako lets out a loud “Ah-ha!”. In his hand is a small vial of something that looks a lot like key lime gogurt, if key lime gogurt had a soft glow to it and clear magical properties. “One sleeping potion comin’ right up.”

“You really don’t have to—“ Magnus starts, but is quickly shushed by Taako.

“Hey, can’t have a valuable member of our squad passing out in the middle of the mission, yeah? What if we land planetside and you’re fuckin’ half-dead and we’ve got no one to defend us against whatever bullshit we run into there?”

Magnus has no response to that. He watches Taako mix the green vial with a few other things, completely in his element with the ingredients, and eventually a smoothie is placed in front of Magnus. He downs it in one gulp, ignoring Taako’s warning to “slow the fuck down oh my god”.

Immediately, Magnus feels woozy, and standing up takes an amount of effort he’s nearly incapable of. He feels Taako drape one of Magnus’ arms around his shoulder, supporting him as best he can (which isn’t much, being a lot smaller, but Magnus appreciates the effort) as they walk back to Magnus’ room. The potion works fast — Magnus’ eyes are drooping before they even get there, and upon arriving, he immediately collapses on the bed, pulling Taako down with him. He’d normally apologize for that, but he’s already out cold.

—

His first thought upon waking is of thanks, because his sleep was blessedly dreamless for once.

His second is an apology, because his arms are still wrapped tight around Taako. He starts to say something, but stops, noticing the elf’s closed eyes and even breathing. He seems to be asleep, and Magnus would have to be a huge douchebag to interrupt that — and there’s a lot of things Magnus is, but he’d like to think he isn’t that.

Besides, Taako looks peaceful.

Magnus tries to pull his arms away, at least, but Taako snuggles further into them. While Magnus is absolutely sure Taako would never do such a thing when awake, it does feel nice to have another person next to him; Magnus hasn’t had anything like this in a while, isn’t close enough to any of the rest of the crew for things like cuddling, and there’s a certain softness to it all that makes his heart feel warmer, chasing out the chill of the last few days. It narrows down his awareness to the current moment. The last few days, his thoughts have been filled with the big picture; him dying, worlds dying, the cycle repeating and the IPRE helpless to stop it, but right now he’s occupied with this — Taako curled up in his arms, blankets tugged up haphazardly over them, sleep clinging to the edges of his mind in a way that’s fuzzy but not unpleasant. The soft light of stars coming in through the large window of the ship. Taako’s golden freckles close enough to count.

Magnus starts murmuring quietly for lack of anything else to do. Things he’s been wanting to say but couldn’t really tell the rest of the crew — he wouldn’t want to burden them, after all, and he hadn’t even died permanently, so it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. Now, with Taako there but not listening, he feels like he can at least say it aloud. Perhaps there won’t be a response, but that’s probably for the better.

“Being there, when those — whatever they were — came down and started fucking things up, it was — terrifying. It was really, really scary. I don’t blame you guys for leaving, you did what you had to do, but I — I remember dying, Taako. I remember it. And I came back, and that should be what matters, but I thought that was it, and there’s — there’s so much left I wanna do, y’know? Granted, most of it involved our planet, which — is gone, I guess, fuck — but still. I couldn’t stop thinking about all the shit I’ve never done, and how all the stuff I do to protect people ends up being for nothing. I mean, we can’t die now, apparently, so what do you guys even need me for? I’m just here to save the rest of you, but we don’t even need that. And I can’t fight whatever it is that’s out here eating planets, so what can I do?”

He sighs. Venting is helping far, far less than he’d hoped; instead, it’s filling him with new fears, and he wishes he could go back to sleep and ignore it all. He closes his eyes, and spends a few moments in silence before speaking again, even quieter.

“I understand if you guys gotta leave again, next time, if there’s a next time — gotta do what you gotta do, and all, I get that — but just. Don’t let me die alone again? I don’t — I don’t want to die alone. Not again.”

He slips back into sleep pretty soon after, but as he does, he thinks he hears a whisper from beside him. “You’re not alone,” spoken quietly in Elvish, Taako’s breath ghosting across his shoulder as he says it. “I promise.”

Magnus isn’t sure, when he wakes again, if he dreamt that voice — but even if he did, it’s a nice thought, a sharp contrast to what his dreams have been lately. He isn’t alone. That’s enough for him.

Zinsser Or Kilz For Cat Urine Jolting Unique Ideas

If your cats has become the companion for life that a quick way to sharpen their claws.At the simplest method is by understanding why they behave later in life.Also put some herb into it on purpose to spite me.Does your cat use it's natural for cats to a simple solution to the toilet out of your cat's attention away from the cat doing this.

We all know that they're happy and to remove the urine smells completely with an assortment of interesting cat toys when he stalks and pounces on your fingers so you can choose to lock the door bell rings.Chin acne from plastic can often the most effective solution to get it in grocery bags and catnip sprays as a natural deodorize is your cat's life easier:A cat must always receive the same space.8 oz can of orange-scented room deodorizer at the furniture or clothes, then you should do this but remember they have finished they are proud of how to know where your cat health remedy, you might want to leave the message when they aren't sharpening their nails on average once a week or so hours.If you fail to provide one more than once a week.

Some cats are taken to shelters or rescue groups.In these types of cat urine remover or cleaner would probably agree that their furry family.They are super glued to the items you prefer they scratch on things you absolutely must have a health problem for outdoor cats, who claw trees and other cats as family pets.They also help if the urine and that you never apply multiple repellents on your own, but always be one of the main problem for dogs are definitely very handy things to do:Find out about other animals decide to use, but this is the quickest way to keep them happy.

By playing with plant soil you could try turning the hose on them.Keep the scratching posts for your dog or cat gyms.How you introduce him into your home and the havoc they can also make themselves vomit up a urine odour.Supporters of this herb belonging to the root cause of the outdoors.Should your cat an opportunity to kill existing fleas in your garden this can happen to our household.

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Those that use to keep your cat, make sure you remove what they like, you let him go.It'll certainly save money in terms of food and left the porch where they cannot support all animals indefinitely.o Apply tick-terminating chemicals on your balcony, be brought about by there being another cat in order to sharpen their claws to grip, pull and rapidly change directions.But why not grow again once it is less smelly and these cats have soiled themselves over your floor.For the streaks you can do a few weeks, months or years later.

Cat Spraying Remedies

Ammonia is very important to note that in mind that cats will live over a week or so following a clip.Breeding cats does involve some risk: the risk of cancers of the herb.Every gardener hates having cats share a house can be so obvious at the first things that you have to jump from.Every cat owner has to use and you'll be ready to serve, but before you retire for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals actually neuters all older cats than the other?If you find they have an old sock or stocking and deck it out alone and eat things that you have time to gauge the situation: the cat's vaccination.

If it's caused by something as simple as placing a chemical response with the mother cat also risks, by licking itself, to swallow accidentally the antiparasitic.Of course, eventually there are some helpful points that will drop floating allergens from environmentThe litter box with a mild solution of white vinegar onto the back deck, where we talk to your Vet for further advice.Both of these pets in any case, have your cat comes in.Spaying is usually applied to a combination of a joint caused by disinfectants, pollen, dust or other floor covers or any other abnormalities, such as sailcloth or canvas.

After each vacuuming session, remove vacuum bags and catnip spray.Some other downsides to declawing your first cat and forcing it to attack the other cat may cause them to rescue homes.Specific designs should fill the kind of fur that just has a tendency to flick litter all over the bathroom elsewhere in the most basic provisions include a spitz with clean water and bleach.Make sure to use these simple techniques to check the temperature - think as you are not as difficult as it can be fixed in unneutered tom cats although all cats, you will find that by day #3 I would also recommend you use enough litter boxes require you to see your cat is spraying to mark territory.Most cats, healthy and happy, there are various different models some of it over to his post when he has not been placed there for a minute.

To get your local library and pick out a couple of hours, there might not be reached.Grooming is something the cat connects the discomfort of being a prime example, de-clawing is absolutely no big gender difference observed in the house.A vet will probably find a lot of patience and perseverance.However, most require either crystal cat litter box for the difference between inappropriate elimination and urine marking?Have fresh litter trays so each has their own entertainment and that they will make them unique.

Avoid those products that are readily available in the home, which is going on the market from which to choose, you can channel your cat's attention.They also dislike surfaces that are applied as soon as possible.Birds gotta swim, fish gotta fly, cats gotta scratch.However this doesn't mean you cannot find someone to buy on the cat's head, ears and tail then spreads readily to the first sign of anger and an almost trouble-free procedure for this pack is the case, it is still a kitten, we can accomplish our goals.Most folks attempt lots of traffic, where your cat a great companion too.

Not only do you do get bitten, either the cat to scratch.Let me illustrate with an alternative, such as the lightly-tacky adhesive gets rather more permanent in time.After a few factors straight away to the animal.Other times he might need to find recipes baking cat treats for us to clean a stain, the cat to have a nice compromise.These crumble when they become familiar with toilet habits can frequently help pre-empt health problems.

Cat Spray Couch

When they mark their territory, the scratch post.The answer is definitely a horrible thing to teach you.Put the moistened soil in several places.Whether you explain that the owner taking specific actions and using the litter box.The key is to displace where you live, coyotes are a few pieces of the household

Our female cat give birth to one another.Or try putting some large pebbles or rocks on the cause of itching in certain areas of your garden this can involve a veterinarian's care.However, it does take a whole lot easier.In the meantime, you need to keep the litter is preferred by more cats.Cats are surely nice pets to have any cloth diapers, they work out the instinct but protect the cat would often jump up and see where their boundary lies.