#in a sick sort of way
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i think marinette is worse at resting when she's sick but adrien is worse at sitting things out if he's injured. i have no explanation, these are just the vibes
#ml#marinette dupain cheng#adrien agreste#okay i lied i do have justifications#adrien probably just. would love being taken care of if he's sick#it's maybe something his mom used to do but not ENOUGH#and marinette would absolutely spoil him#but marinette is all I AM FINE IT IS JUST A COLD I AM FINE meanwhile she nearly falls off a rooftop in a dizzy spell#but adrien hate being kept away from ppl he loves. hates not being able to protect them. and an injury is more long-term and isolating#meanwhile...idk marinette feels to me like an injurt would leave her more defeated. she'd feel like she failed somehow#like she is SUPPOSED to be ladybug she is SUPPOSED to keep herself together to keep the city safe#so i think that would take a lot of her energy she'd be frustrated about it yes but also sort of...admit defeat#adrien would find ways to cheer her up though 🥺
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anyway. the haunted house is a kind of body, yes. but the body is also a kind of haunted house.
#🐉#gerard way voice baby youre a haunted house!#like seriously if you think about it. scars sickness trauma and all the individual ways our bodies grow to reflect the needs and behaviors#of us their inhabitants - for better and for worse maladaptive and congruous. all of these can be likened to a sort of haunting.
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“He was— He was my ‘buttercup’,” she sobbed out, and his hand gripped her far shoulder, “And I— I never even— I never got to tell him how much he m-meant to me— not even th-the stupid sun thing—”
“Oh… Marinette…” he whispered, his nose brushing against her hair, “The sun thing wasn’t stupid.”
this scene from chapter 6 of drowning (in plain sight) by @buggachat has PLAGUED me since i read it i am deeply unwell
#my art#ml#ml fic rec#miraculous ladybug#ladynoir#ladybug#chat noir#is it monday yet. is it monday yet.#ugh this fic makes me SICK#it hurts so much i’m sooo unwell#buggachat just. creates scenarios which wrench all my guts in such a specific way#thank you for your service queen. i’m doing so bad#would really really really like for things to get better soon#or keep making them suffer. i will absolutely be reading either way#also i colored this in sort of a different way than usual and it was fun#okay goodnight.
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Just to clarify my thoughts (since I've had a number of people ask me about it) re: Job and cursing God. There's a big difference between cursing God as used in Scripture and how we generally would think of cursing at God today.
Cursing someone, in the Bible, has a lot of depth to it. It's not just saying "screw you " in anger, it's got a sense of forsakenness to it. It's the opposite of a blessing, a removal of blessing. If the blessing is presence, your face shining on the person you're blessing, then a curse is absence. In some translations, Job's wife tells him to "renounce God and die," which I honestly think makes a lot more sense to modern ears.
Job says a lot of unpleasant things to and about God in his anger and grief. So do the Psalmists. A number of the Prophets. So can we. God can take it if we come to him with honest expressions of our emotion, including those not-so-nice ones directed at him. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting mad at God and saying, "How dare you, you bastard" when you suffer unjustly. You can say much worse, I think, without sinning, though I don't feel particularly inclined to give examples. But as long as it's an honest expression of your heart, I think you're doing exactly what prayer is for. You're presenting him your heart with an open hand. He can use that. Opposite of love is not hate but indifference, etc.
Job doesn't renounce God. Neither should we. But I think when you're truly suffering, you're gonna have those feelings toward God either way. He'd rather you address them with him directly than try to avoid them. Cursing at God in the modern sense is actually a great way to keep the relationship strong and not end up cursing/renouncing him in the Biblical sense.
#i did try to draw that distinction in the original post but I didn't really go into detail#mostly bc i was trying to be concise and just focus on how the church talks to sufferers#so here's the long version#pontifications and creations#only thou art holy#also side note: there was someone yesterday who responded to that post with the suggestion that suffering is generally the sufferer's fault#and it got worse from there#just an absolutely rank response that had me immediately blocking that person and googling if there was a way to remove someone's addition#idk to what degree that person is an active member of this broader christian community we've got going on here#but if you see that post (and you'll know it when you see it) please as a favor to me don't interact with it#there were some lovely responses and additions to that post yesterday too#but that one made me mad#idk. to a certain degree i wanted to vent#they're blocked now though so whatever#anyway. I've sort of been percolating on these various thoughts for a few weeks#since i went to a really fluffy women's talk on suffering#and now i kind of want to give my version#I'm far from the greatest sufferer in the world. i am well aware of that#but as I've been sick I've just done So Much Thinking and reading about theodicy and struggle with God that i feel qualified to opine#unlike the giver of that talk#anyway#tag rant over#...for now#theodicy
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sculpted a strange shimmery two headed snail, speckled with wild flowers on it's shell~
#sculpture#snail#fantasy art#I have never sculpted or even drawn a snail before#so hopefully the anatomy is not incredibly off#(though if so.. I guess it could also just pass as further Strange Magical Mutations lol)#It doesn't show up as well in the photo but the shell has some irridescent eyeshadow on it so it kind of alternates a little warm#red and teal as you move it.#Made for an art contest on a game that I play lol (I wouldnt normally think to sculpt a snail on my own if it werent part of a#prompt) but I do kind of like the way it came out.. sort of..#Perhaps a real creature that exists in Nanyevimi (my worldbuilding setting) in some capacity then.. hrmm#also in relevance to this blog i DO STILL WANT TO finish the story with the little adventurer... goursh I have just had so much going on..#all of my little side projects like that have fallen away for so long. I really want his advneture to reach a tiny conclusion though#And shout out to that one person that always reblogged them and left nice comments in the tags also.. :'3#Poll Adventures.... not over... simply was on temporary evil hiatus due to Me Feeling Sick Constantly All Summer and so on and so forth#aughhh.. woe and agonyyy *dramatically drops to my knees in the middle of a rain storm like some tragic movie scene#kneeling into the cold earth as i cradle the half-living bodies of all of my half-finished creative projects in my arms*#ANYWAY... lol..... erm.. snail time
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it’s the picture of diana in lawrence’s wallet with her arms wrapped around a dog, it’s the horse riding awards in her bedroom and and the snake toy she has draped over her headboard .. it’s adam who wanted so badly to be a vet, adam who loves cats and brings them saucers of milk despite there being barely anything in his fridge .. it’s them bonding over their love of animals, diana showing adam her amazing animal facts book and adam asking for one every time he sees her, it’s adam saving up his own money so he can surprise her with a trip to the zoo for their next adam-and-diana day when lawrence and alison are at work and need someone to watch her, it’s him taking his camera, getting pictures of her with her favorite animals and developing them, it’s diana telling adam she wants to be a vet when she grows up and him getting excited, grabbing lawrence’s stethoscope when diana says she wants to play vets and taking his job oh so seriously when diana says that he’s gotta be her assistant, it’s .. its ..
#sorry for getting a little sick in the head about adam being the best stepdad ever as if its my fault#ohhhhhhhhhhh. its all a little too much for me#starts sobbing in a terrible nd agonising sort of way right after pressing post#good god man. talking to self#get a grip#chainshipping#diana gordon#adam faulkner stanheight#📹#no way in hell lawrence dr gordon md has a dog they do not have pets. maybe hed be ok w a rabbit#uhoh motifs cant stop wont stop#that dog is definitely an uncles or an aunts i just dont see in any universe lawrence having a dog or even a cat unless adam is involved#unless in some sort of fun au lawence finds a cat nd takes it to vet adam for the plot but otherwise no#n e way !#amazing animal facts was published in 2003 so it checks out actually#i checked for the post nd everything i take this all very seriously you know
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Sansa + Dances
Sansa could sew and dance and sing. She wrote poetry. She knew how to dress. She played the high harp and the bells.
She had often daydreamed of how she would dance at her wedding, with every eye upon her and her handsome lord. In her dreams they had all been smiling.
Joffrey and Margaery led in their place. How can a monster dance so beautifully? Sansa wondered.
Smiling, she let the music take her, losing herself in the steps, in the sound of flute and pipes and harp, in the rhythm of the drum . . . and from time to time in Ser Garlan's arms, when the dance brought them together.
And then the dance brought her face-to-face with Joffrey. Sansa stiffened as his hand touched hers, but the king tightened his grip and drew her closer.
Sansa loved to dance, but Alayne . . .
#sansa stark#asoiaf#sansaisms#the way she has to hide the part of herself that loves to dance in order to survive#while her sister is trying to master a deadlier sort of dance to survive#their childhood being stolen from them im sick
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Jesper: Wy, I think I have parkinsons disease
Wylan: What? Why would you think that??
Jesper: Shakey hands
Wylan: …That could be from other things
Jesper: So you don’t think I have parkinsons?
Wylan: No
Wylan: Stop looking up diseases
Jesper: Hm, probably a good idea
#jesper: are your hands ever shakey?#wylan: jesper#jesper: ok il stop#i know he cant get sick but does that also apply to diseases? i dont know#either way jes seems the sort to have health anxiety#jesper fahey#wylan van eck#wesper#soc#soc incorrect quotes#six of crows incorrect quotes#six of crows
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okay something ive been curious about is how people feel about their self harm scars. because mine are really important to me and I honestly feel love for them, and i enjoy when they are visible.
also this includes people who have any kind of permenant mark from self harm. and tbh if you have only self harmed in a way that leaves temporary marks then feel free to answer this too, or if you used to have some but now they aren't visible
#also this is not bc i get a lot of compliments on them#lord knows almost every member of family has said Something about them & my mother made me cry the first time she saw them#but they are important to me and i feel comforted by them#they feel like something very personal & smth thats truly my own#i absolutely do not blame people for having any sort of reaction towards theirs#my cousin has been getting his covered by REALLY fucking sick tattoos n im very happy for him#im just curious bc i dont feel like ive ever seen someone talk about their relationship w their scars in a way that feels similar to mine#m.#self harm tw
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i was talking about stan and his OCD the other day but i didn't really talk about how the other losers would act about it. so!
please remember that OCD is a varied condition and not everyone with it is like what is depicted in this post!
bill
at first stan keeps his obsessions to himself, he's pretty aware of what is a "typical" thought process and what is his brain being kinda weird
but eventually bill finds him having a panic attack over something seemingly mundane. young stan to me had obsessions that focused on the supernatural and "curses", so something like opening an umbrella indoors throws him into hysterics
and as soon as he realizes what he's doing he's humiliated, because like who the fuck cares? everyone knows that's just a stupid superstition, and he's so worried bill's going to think he's a weirdo or a coward
but bill is like. extremely reasonable about it, i think he's used to georgie getting upset over seemingly nonsensical things (the way kids do), so he's just used to treating things he doesn't understand with severity.
maybe there's nothing scary to him about opening an umbrella indoors, but its clearly upset stan and that's what matters here. he calmly asks him what he's upset about and reassures him that if it upsets him then its important
he gets stan to talk through it, bill brings up how richie always opens his umbrella indoors but nothing bad has ever happened to him because of it, which doesn't help a ton because OCD isn't typically very reasonable, but it helps a bit, and stan calms down enough that bill bringing up richie prompts him to go off on a rant about something stupid richie did at school while bill was gone
eddie
despite not having OCD eddie gets it, especially after he finds out that he isn't actually sick
eddie is the first person stan chooses to tell about the weird circles his brain runs in, because he knows eddie still carries around his fake inhaler
eddie isn't scared of the same things stan is, but he can understand being afraid of something he logically knows can't hurt him. they're pretty good at working each other out of panic attacks because of this
richie
(the things richie says to stan here are things you should never ever say to someone with OCD unless you have their express permission, stan finds it funny and helpful, and as someone with OCD so do i, but many will not, and talking like this could make their mental state worse and is just generally an asshole thing to do!)
on paper richie is an asshole to stan about his OCD, he calls him unreasonable, tells him he makes no sense, he's worrying over nothing, etc.
he frequently makes fun of stan's obsessions, if stan says something he thought because of his OCD richie will repeat it back to him in a Voice
but by some miracle this does wonders for stan
if anyone else was saying this stuff it would make him feel like shit, but because it's richie it's hilarious (not that he shows it)
richie assigning characters to his obsessions has managed to completely discredit some of them, and stan is straight up Not Bothered by some of them anymore because as soon as the thought pops up so does richie's voice and he can't take it seriously
there's the scandalized mother who thinks stan is a horrible person for not appreciating his meals properly or something
there's the conspiracy theorist trying to convince stan curses are real
and there's the high school coach who acts like stan is a one man army and they're going to lose the entire war if stan doesn't fold his sheets properly
stan doesn't want to give richie credit for his improved mental state because the way he did it is ridiculous, but yeah, richie and his voices have definitely helped
beverly
bev is great at Not Talking About It and Being Normal About It
stan will say something extremely concerning (use your imagination, i don't want to provide an example lol), and bev is like "yeah thats fucked up." and then they move on
he never gets the feeling she's brushing him off or anything, she'd definitely Actually Talk About It if he asked, but sometimes he just needs to get the thought out there and then immediately move on
sometimes it is exhausting to actually talk about feelings, sometimes stan just needs to express that he's feeling something, be acknowledged, then move on
"i just thought [insert concerning compulsion he doesn't want to do]" "or we could skip class and build a snowfort before all these other assholes ruin the fresh snow at lunch"
stan never feels judged in the slightest when he's with bev, and it helps free him of some of the judgment in his own mind :)
ben
ben is so so so good at listening, not only is he just the only nice 13 year old stan has ever met, he has one of those faces yknow?
he finds himself telling ben things it took him nearly a decade of friendship to tell bill
ben is clearly confused and concerned, but he never makes stan feel like he's unreasonable
stan usually only tells his friends about his specific obsessions when they've bottled up and are about to explode, or when he's in the midst of a panic attack
but with ben he feels like he can talk about the other stuff that comes with it, the impact his thought processes have had on his life
ben offers suggestions from time to time, not all of them stick, but the ones that do really help stan out
mike
mike finds a way to keep stan from worrying about anything at all
stan could spend all day worrying about something, and then mike shows up and explains some new topic to stan and it's like stan wasn't even stressed in the first place
stan can't even count the number of times mike has gone through an explanation of the history of derry, or what various states are known for, or the tasks mike does at the farm, or the history of some obscure scientific/cultural phenomenon
stan genuinely loves hearing about anything mike wants to talk about, but he also just finds mike to be a really engaging speaker to the point he stops thinking about whatever was bothering him
it is very much a win/win situation
sometimes mike will manage to pull him out of whatever was worrying him and get him to talk about birds and the boy scouts and they always end up having a ton of fun :)
the losers love stan and he loves them <3
#reminder: do not talk to your mentally ill friends the way richie talks to stan here!!!#some might find it funny/helpful but many will not. do not say anything of this sort unless they specifically say its okay!#if they don't find the joke funny you're not being funny you're just being a dick!!!#started writing this post because of the time i referred to one of my Thoughts as “the angry twitter user in my head”#and imagined richie assigning characters to all of stan's obsessions and that completely discrediting them#i have OCD and am writing from experience/how i wish people reacted. please be normal about this post <3#posts afflicted with a strange sickness#it stephen king#it 2019#it 2017#stanley uris#stan uris#bill denbrough#eddie kaspbrak#richie tozier#beverly marsh#ben hanscom#mike hanlon
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no 'cause tony and ziva both going to somalia on separate suicide missions but finding each other instead. surviving instead. reuniting and continuing to live afterwards. like what the hell. the look on ziva's face when tony said he thought she was dead and it completely recontextualized "couldn't live without you, i guess." after everything, everything, they still have each other's backs. he was ready to die avenging her and she was ready to die trying to save him and actually i'm screaming crying throwing up what the hell is wrong with this show why would it do this to me.
#ncis#tiva#im like aggressively eating tiny cookies and staring at a wall rn truth or consequences broke something inside my brain#and they framed it as sort of humorous in the narrative bc it was tony telling it but ur just gonna say he went numb and stopped caring#and gave up on living after finding out ziva was supposedly dead??? you want me to be NORMAL about that?#and the way he totally blamed himself for it too bc if not for him she wouldnt have gone back to mossad and been sent on that missionnnnn#SICK AND ILL!!!!
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when Lorelai and Luke break up and she calls begging him to come over because she needs her best friend and he IS her best friend. man I can't help but cry.
#i rewatch Gilmore girls when im sick#honestly though people dont talk about this enough#the way we lose a lover#a confidant#a best friend#it was sort of manipulative on her part though#like she said she knew he would come if she called#gilmore girls#luke x lorelai#lorelai and luke
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gamers who still, to this day, get angry about the simple existence of black ppl (both real players/creators and characters in the games) in the gaming space are genuinely so fuckin awful and unbelievably annoying. it's 2024, either learn to change or die idk
#the twitter for you page is a curse I'll tell u that#im interested in pursuing some sort of gaming career but the fact that my existence as a black person could cause so much unneed discourse#it's fuckin tiring dude. im sick of these dumbass annoying ppl permentally stuck in the past#black people simply Existing in your precious lil video games isn't automatically 'political'#and even if it was 'political' why does that bother you? you exist in the world. ur gonna experience politics one way or another#this post is just me ranting about gamers lmao
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sorry for taking a really long nap for like a week and this being the only thing i dragged out of that. minors DNI
#you know this but im horrifyingly real about contom (or whatever way it is that i am interpreting contom)#my sick heart is 1. tomshiv 2. romtom 3. contom#art#succession#succession fanart#fanart#tom wambsgans#connor roy#contom#tomcon#all of this art could be better i think but im in a rut sort of#whatever Contom
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if you as a fic reader ever become possessed by the urge to do a popularity bracket with the fics other people wrote and shared for fun and for free, consider:
don't ❤️
#just!!!! make a rec list!!!!!!!!!#popularity contests do nothing but drive writers out of fandoms by pitting people against their friends#and invariably result in people being assholes in the comments as if the people who wrote the fic can't see it#like ''oh clearly fic x is better than fic y''#or ''why is fic c even in this poll?''#nobody gains anything by you doing a bracket to see which fic is the ''most popular''#a stat which could be found more easily & less cruelly by simply hitting the sort by bookmarks/kudos button on ao3#anyway ugh. i saw that one of my fics was being pitted against one of my friend's fics in this bracket that's going around#and i have no idea who is ''winning'' because i refuse to look. but either way it's gonna feel bad!!!#because i want my friend to get his flowers so i want him to win!!! but i also would like to know that people like my fic!!!!#so it's just a lose/lose situation even though i generally don't give a shit about numbers#but this turns it into a schoolyard popularity thing#and the emotional response to having people *vote* on if your work is *better or worse* than other fic is hard to ignore#cannot reiterate enough JUST MAKE A REC LIST#or if you absolutely must do a bracket like this do it in a private chat server or something#don't create a public forum for people to pass value judgements where the authors can see it#and feel bad if they get told their fic is ''worse'' than someone elses#but also feel bad if they get told theirs is ''better'' because it came at the cost of telling another author they weren't good enough#ANYWAY i still feel sick with a super sore throat and a headache & am probably extra cranky because of it#(still testing negative thankfully so it's probably just weather/allergen related)#gonna go make some tea and prep the fic updates i want to post today#cass says things#fandom problems#wank adjacent
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“lawrence! get up! i need you” “don’t leave me” “i’ll bring someone back, i promise” “we’re gonna be okay?” “i wouldn’t lie to you” ohh. pain and anguish
#chainshipping#they are soo doomed nd inlove its crazy#sick to my stomach over them. wouldnt have it any other way i Love how unnecessarily upsetting the saw movies are really changes you as a#person#crying over saw x crying over saw 2004 in a Normal sort of way#📹
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