#in 'wtf brain' terms | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

faejilly · 5 months

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blearghity

#I miss writing #I miss my friends #someone reteach me how to tumblr #and socialize #and stuff like that #jilly spam #I AM ACTUALLY DOING MUCH BETTER #in 'wtf brain' terms #but it's been awhile so now I"m like #how do... things?#the world may never know

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opens-up-4-nobody · 4 months

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#i was looking through old photos today. they where from wjen i was like 1 and it made me so sad #bc my mum would have been like only a year or 2 older then i am now and she looked so young #and now she has an abdomen full of tumors and blistered hands and feet. theyre prob gonna hsve to remove her bladder #but shes still very pragmatic abt it. but she grew up in a house where no one really cared about her feelings so she made them small #and now her mother calls and doesn't ask how her grandkids are doing and doesn't ask how her daughter is doing. im cursed with terrible #grandparents on both sides but i resent my mothers mother worse. though my dad said i probably wouldnt have survived his upbringing #and hes right. my nana has like zero empathy and cant cook for shit. idk how my parents r so normal but the fact i had a good upbringing is #probably the only reason im still here. and thats the other thing that made me sad abt the old pics. just looking at this little baby with a #fucked up head and thinking: in 25 years that kid is gonna b so broken down their not gonns kno what to do or how to fix it. idk whats wrong #with me. ive always been some stage of miserable but i used to b able to get things done. and now i cant seem to force functionality #and it sucks. bc im home now and i still feel like im cringing around this open wound in my chest. but whatever #as of today ive started taking ab1lify. hopefully it helps in the long term but in the short term it triggers my 0cd. which is not fun #its so frustrating. whatever. i also found out my eyes used to not work together. not enough to have a lazy eye but it was hard for me to #read and apparently my eyes were tracking at like double the speed of a normal person. wtf is wrong with my brain? also also my mum was like #yea i never would have guessed bip0lar but we thought it was something. autism i could see 100% but yea didnt see that coming. ao i guess #i brehave like a bit of an oddball. ans my nana would bother my dad to try to make me participate in church and my dad was like no. she #clearly don't wanna b here lol. ay. they did the best they could which i appreciate #unrelated

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caffeinatedopossum · 5 months

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I'm so emotionally exhausted

#being highly empathetic is so romanticized but it actually sucks so much #not just for me btw. like for everyone around me too #im great at supporting people short term but anytime you need me to reliably be there i just cant #because i feel so strongly anytime im around other people experiencing strong emotions that i burn through my emotional battery #in a matter of minutes #its also almost definitely a result of my trauma. so yeah definitely over-hyped #PLUS i hate being that person thats like 'sorry YOUR emotions are too painful for ME' like wtf #makes me sound like an ass #i think it cam definitely be phrased better while still saying the same thing (like 'sorry i dont really have the energy now. is that okay?)#but it still sucks. i want to be there for people. i dont know what to do with all these emotions that arent mine #like theres always 'work through the trauma' but how?? im emotionally exhausted!#plus i dont actually see any way to reassure what im scared about cause its not like a fear of being punished triggered by others emotions #its like. I was exposed to this thing a lot as a kid and now my brain responds to it really strongly #the thing itself wouldnt have been wrong in a different context but i was a child and couldnt process the things that i experienced #and i still dont know how to

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doingthisbecauseofboredom · 5 months

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There will be no foolish use of AI or silly single choice exams in this course. As such I don’t expect many of you to appreciate the subtle science and exact art that are Humanities and Social Sciences.

#my brain just randomly came up with this one #thought I’d share #yes I do think I’m funny #i’m suffering here #one of my flatmates yesterday 'i haven’t seen you in 7 days where have you been? me i’ve been here i’ve just been busy is all him: busy?#it’s the end of term me: I have an essay due on the 14th him: oh yeah i forgot you lot have to write essays #i nearly cried #at 10pm on a saturday #wtf #study a social science and a humanity i said to myself #what could possibly go wrong #answer: everything most of all my mental health #social science student #humanities student #history student #politics student #it’s that time of term where i don’t want to live anymroe #i just want a single choice exam once in a while #please i’m begging

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caffeinatedsunbear · 7 months

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no because why is university actually university-ing now

#this assignment is burning my brain #how does one write 200 words defining a term #I know it's probably not that hard but I did not get enough practice doing this kind of writing in high school man wtf #where is my application of concepts on real world examples #anywho the course content is interesting the format of this assignment is just killing me from the inside #citing sources will always be the bane of my existence #rambles

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bitterpngs · 8 months

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just took my spanish test

#it was #hhrrrmm #well i’m confident enough #but there were little moments where i got stuck TwT #a handful where i got a little confused bc of the answer choices and felt all my spanish knowledge fly out of my brain #(<- w prepositions. </3)#also there were a few like. Grammar things i had no idea what to answer with 😭😭#like what the FUCK does this mean #i can’t even remember the names of the terms #but like #types of words… or w/e #like. here. a russian example -> genetive case or dative case. those kind of categories #but Spanish Version #IDK. wtf.#whatever #other than that it wasn’t bad #if i get an 80-something again it’s gonna feel like hs all over again #(wounded pride even tho i passed)#though eh i know my spanish is getting worse so. ah whatever not that big of a deal anymore #i’ll get my results soon tho #1-2 days #yea #though #now i have to pay $65 :))))#die die die die die #jfc #fucking uni -_-#angel.txt

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holytrickster · 11 months

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listen i dont like fëanor but i can't deny that getting so mad you literally burst into flames and crumble away into ash is kinda fucking relatable

#i was about to go “do i have to tag this for spoilers” in my own head as though the silm isnt literally older than me #tbf not as many people read it as lotr or the hobbit but still. come on brain wtf #esp since someone would have to be really weird to come on my blog specifically to complain about spoilers lmao #i do think its funny I've only now gotten around to readinf it but its taking me so long to make myself listen to it that i keep forgetting #things especially in the really long chapters #to the extent now i find myself going “oh maybe i need to write down names because of course everyone has to start with an f”. i was doing #okay and then i went a really long time without reading so now im like wait wait go back #which sucks because i usually dont have trouble getting through long books. admittedly i listen more than read lately #but still. i think it took me maybe a week to get through priory the first time? like i dont think its that im not interested i just havent #had a lot of energy to expend or to get really into things? idk i keep forgetting from finals up till now has been extra bad in terms of..#..pain. chronic migraines gonna migraine ig. i bitch about it like i havent lived this way for years n years. but they were never as bad..#..until i started college and now theyve been worse than ever. i hate thinking about how much time i always lose. how much time ill always #be losing. sorry how the fuck did this turn into a tangent.

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sinni-ok-sessi · 2 years

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gonna make a ranking of all the ways academics at work reply to my emails.

so far, the most points go to the person who called me 'Professor Lee' - flattering, delightful, I feel like I'm in a pokemon game

fewest points go to the person who looked at my signature enough to extrapolate my surname, but not enough to recognise that someone with '(they/them)' there might not want to be 'Mr Surname'

#my dad thinks it's unbearably pretensious of me to want to use 'dr' wants I've graduated #but look. I would much rather be on first name terms! but if you're going to insist on titles dammit you're going to use the one I worked #four years towards!#huh. 'wants' in that first tage should be 'once'. wtf brain

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theydoctor · 2 years

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;-;

#as much as i like my therapist #she doesn't really know much about neurodivergencies #like. i have an adhd diagnosis. but that's from another professional.#and honestly none of the people i go to have any idea wtf is going on with my brain lol #so it's like. i probably have adhd? i'm probably autistic too?#but nobody can say anything for certain #and i know self diagnosis is valid but i have sooo much imposter syndrome #like i'm slowly coming to terms with being autistic and that it's fine for me to self diagnose #and now i also have to work on coming to terms with having adhd at the same time?#it's confusing. because i've had my adhd diagnosis for over a year now.#but everyone keeps saying i probably don't even have it and it's just depression instead #and idk what to believe anymore...#i don't want to falsly claim being adhd while i'm really not aaah #the same goes for autism obviously #yeah idk where i'm going with this. i'm just confused and have a lot of imposter syndrome.#charlie rambles

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demon-shadow-lord · 2 years

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I’ve seen many? debates about whether or not mental illnesses are neurodivergent or not

So I’ve tried to be inclusive(could be better tho?)and coined a term!

PMiNd

P stands for physical condition

Mi stands for mentally ill

Nd stands for neurodivergent

Reasons for using this term:

You’re in more than one of these categories

You wanna use it as an umbrella term for the communities

Or whatever other reason you want!

What do you guys think?

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ko-eko-ev-go-ms · 2 months

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It continues to trip me up how much human brains are just weird organic computers

#thoughts #oni talks #oni vents #additionally wild that the easiest ways for me to explain brain stuff are generally in computer or video game terms despite the fact I’m #notoriously awful with computers (and to a lesser extent video games) although I won’t if my natural inclination would be different if I #didn’t have trauma related to computers/if maybe it’s the classic adhd interest based learning difference? unknown tbh #I still really wanna go to school to study people but academics is fucked as hell so making that work will be a personal hell for me #but also I have so many theories and data I can’t do anything super tangible with coz I’m not in an academic setting so even if i wanted to #talk about stuff and work on it no one would take me seriously w/o that academic background no matter how much effort I’d put in learning it #on my own for my entire life at this point it won’t matter if it’s not on some level acknowledged by an academic system I despise tbh #it’s one of those things that makes me miss my dad coz we used to commiserate together about these sorts of things tho he made it work far #better than I have been able to. i wish i could ask him science questions again.#anyway human brains are so fascinating but also I really wish I was better at explaining myself analysis of people I feel like I’m good #enough at this point to be like partway understood coz I’ve done so much practice on my own coz I tend to rehearse explanations ahead of tim #but its still often misunderstood or misconstrued & it’s understandable a lot of the time coz like most other people aren’t spending a ton #of their free time thinking about and researching how people work/analyzing those around them+themselves vs me whose been doing since like #I dont remember the exact time but I do remember being really young & making the conscious decision to study & analyze my family for example #so that I could be helpful & translate their words to each other better + ppl often don’t see things about themselves that others do #also forever thinking about the human brain/experience in relation to the sims & video game commands lmao #currently trying to explain save states in the human brain to ppl but no one knows wtf I’m talking about #& researching academic terms that are close to what I want doesn’t necessarily work if there’s no academic term for what I’m talking about #hence wanting to do the research myself coz sometimes it feels like there’s all this stuff that’s obvious to me but no one else?? from what #I’ve seen in recent studies they are only starting to scratch the surface of stuff I’ve already known sometimes? other stuff is older & it’s #VERY gratifying when it’s stuff I’ve known but not been listened to about & it actually gets the proper recognition #though getting ppl to actually listen/take what I say seriously is its own journey & I have to be careful myself bc I’m human so my own #understanding/data is constantly updating + I have storage issues so finding the data I have in my brain is its own struggle sometimes #every version of me is interested in people & I think that’s neat even if other people don’t understand that concept #sometimes I feel like an alien/robot whose sole task is just to study & support humanity & it’s very weird tbh

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year

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#there's this wild thing i do where i dont trust the chemical lables on containers in the lab #which is 1000% irrational bc by law they have to b correctly labled #i guess its probably more that i dont trust my ability to read the lables. thats a lil more irrational #lil more rational i mean. bc dyslexia and a short term memory that has been certified as below average #so i read the lable and think ok i read the right thing. then i turn around and im immediatly like ok but did i remember that right?#and so i have to go back and check multiple times. it happens everytime i have to pour ethanol #ill pour it into the container and still im like. ok but is this actually ethanol???? yes! u checked the cabinet 3 times and it behaves #like ethanol! wtf is ur problem??? good lord. this is part of the reason i hated chemistry labs #i would get so fucking stressed out that i would have to leave the room and lay on a bench outside so i wouldnt pass out #bc i dont deal well with time pressure and i would have to read the instructions over and over and over and walk back and forth to the #chemical. distrusting of what i just picked up bc i cant trust my eyes and brain. and that eats up a lot of time #and is super fucking frustrating. its also y i go to the lab at weird times so ppl cant see me tracking and back tracking bc my brain cant #go straight from a to b. annoying. its also y i cant handle cooking bc its literally like chemistry #i cant trust my brain to understand instructions under time pressure. i hate it #i also have to tap my pockets like every five minutes to make sure i still have my keys on me bc idk im afriad ill lose them #recently ive been very bad abt locking my door too. as in i lock my door. take ten steps away and cant remember if i locked my door #so i either have to go back and check. and its always locked. or i walk away with a horrible sinking feeling in my gut #even when i kno i locked it. im like. but did i tho??? and i always forget to double check until im like annoyingly far away #whatever. its not that bad. just annoying mostly. sigh... im back taking measurements for the next 4 or 5 days #im being a horrible mope bc all my time feels empty. like i gotta probably say thank u to coauthors for their help getting a manuscript #accepted but i just feel so detached abt it im like so fucking what? but whatever. i gotta pretend to b a functional person #and then work on all rhe other manuscripts that r way more boring. like sure useful whatever i dont care its gonna b boring to write #uuuuugh this what the stupid measurements do to me. im an empty shell. i dont even kno what to draw or read or watch. im just bleh sad #bc i kno im activitly making bad and wasteful choices but i self awareness doesnt seem to help #alas. trapped in a web of compulsive patterns #unrelated

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divortion · 9 months

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genuine question how do you support/help people with deeply internalised negative body image/who believe in normative beauty standards? (skinny loved one has gained a small amount of weight and was in tears telling me how bad she felt about herself now. i was trying to explain that the only solution is to change the mental attitude around body types, rather than trying to change her body as she wanted to do. how do i explain that she is hurting herself and others by being unable to believe anything but a skinny body is worthy of love/value/respect/being alive?!)

#idk man. this is the problem w/ neoliberal feminism like #she barely has any fat friends i feel like her circle must feel so oppressively uniform in terms of appearance #so of course this feeling of bodily 'deviance' is making her panic. but like. it's literally NOTHING it's fine! it's not a failure #also extra hard talking about this when i have an eating disorder like. maybe stop telling ME that the body is the enemy bc i don't need to #hear that shit either. ahh and she said the weight gain signified a lack of 'discipline' on her part around food/exercise #which is........ NOT TRUE!!!!!! that's the capitalist/military/cop in your brain talking like wtf #ed tw #ed mention just in case

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rosesradio · 10 months

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#i take it back the grifter plot in Anne with an e is diabolically brilliant #the guy that plays nate alters my brain chemistry in every scene it’s a shame it doesn’t look like he’s been in anything since 2019 #like i guess i’m throwing Internet Terms around but who cares—Nate grooms & trauma bonds with these kids (anne & jerry) & it’s just—#like he’ll act guarded around Anne to push her curiosity & then go off on her when she’s curious but then calm her down & compliment her #& then with him & jerry. the scene where he tried to make him drink?? i felt like a hunted rabbit watching that wtf #it’s literally just an actor playing a character manipulating another character but like i’m ‘!!!’ about it #rose.txt #tw grooming mention #in my dark media phase once more lets gooo

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viniferas · 1 year

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i say i "do" love them but my interpretation of that kind of love is so twisted that i might as well make up a different word to describe it

#i want to wear their skin.#i want to take their brain and steal the parts that i would like to be mine #i want to be them but in a way where in some fundamental form it's still me #and yet the fundamental aspects that make up who i am as a person is exactly what i want to replace to be better instead so #yknow im p sure it isnt even love. i just admire them so much i want them to undergo the process of cellular diffusion #bro this just sounds psychotic #just say ur envious like a normal person wtf #OH! in normal ppl terms its essentially akin to liking someone bc they have the traits that u want to have and/or the traits #you *do* have but they're able to utilize it more efficiently and confidently and you look up to them bc u wanna be like that too #see. was that rlly so hard #its a normal experience #it did not need to be so deranged #my brain is so fascinatingly weird

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chibelial · 1 year

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#ok wtf wtf wtf brain is over loaded #I think #I think I love somebody what did this girl do to me she’s in so many of my thoughts #and also I can’t even attempt to process it #cuz I still have this looming fucking memory reforming and making me #want to slit my fucking wrists #why did I ever get involved with Hayley why did I let her take me apart and remake me #why did she want me to kill myself why was I so worthless #and why can’t I break free of it I’ve been worthless ever since then #I’ve been nothing but short term fun at best #even though my exs like stalk me and threaten to kill the selves sometimes cuz they want me back?#but they’re the same ones who threw me out like nothing I don’t give them a second thought #not giving them a second thought #did I repeat myself I’m still kinda high idk who cares #I’m so fixated on this girl I just want to fulfill her and break her and use her anytime I feel like we can just complete each other #I don’t care if we have no future as long as I have her #idk if she feels that way I’m so afraid she’ll see how worthless I am #and just go off to find somebody who can.. do things #how is this possible my brain has never processed these emotions I’ve been with so many girls how is this my first spark of love what is she #idk what she is but I want to be immersed in every facet of what makes her her #obsessed I just want to dedicate all my time to her #even as I’m just sitting here watching stuff I could be jamming my fingers in her or something #I want to constantly have her

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