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raionmimi · 4 years

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I think the first thing I wanna talk about Medb is that for as much as some people lovingly or disdainfully call her the thot queen... she really doesn’t really do much thottin? You could list of every character that is mega in love with Guda, the characters that flirt/sexualize/start relationships with other characters, and the characters who blab about how much they love men/women in general... there are a lot more characters, many of who are men, who are much more aggressively sexual than Medb.

In nearly every singularity, there is a male character who will gush about Mash’s sexy hot bod or whatever hot garbage, yet Medb has never actually mentioned being particularly attracted to anyone off the top of my head. She just says that she likes the idea of powerful people being attracted to her and people being at her will and dislikes people who would try to control her, which many men did try to do with her. Plus, a lot of her voice lines is asking you “What do you think of me?” not to flirt, but she wants validation. She does not see you as a “good looking brave” whatsoever, but she still values your opinion of her as she sees you as a trustworthy person. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t even admit her insecurities to you when she hates being seen as weak.

And even though summer servants are notorious for randomly being extremely in love with you with a summer fling kinda passion to get you to roll for them, she just lightly flirts but doesn’t really think much about you. She still is concentrated on herself and her hot girl summer. I mean, of all the occupations she decides on in the summer event, she chooses being an idol, something that is specifically all about being loved but fans are pretty much not allowed to get close to idols as it’s lowkey taboo. She doesn’t even try to be lovey dovey or have a fling with any male character on the beach, even Cú who she literally summons to play volleyball with her. She has rarely talked to any guys in this entire series at all despite her being predominantly being into men.

I think what most people gloss over is that Medb, despite having a flirty personality that’s never really directed at anyone in particular, has always kept a distance between her and every character she’s encountered. Yes, even the Cu’s. Why else would her ideal Cu be one that is not madly in love with her, when she has so many powers that deal with literally charming people? Like did no one notice she was never upset that he was neutral to her?? She absolutely loves how much Cú doesn’t like her (and in her POV, ppl wanting her leads to them wanting to control her), for as much as she hates that he was Crunkofart’s weapon of mass destruction (which is the only reason she hates him, nothing personnel, dog), she genuinely thinks extremely high of him that she believes he’s a TRUE king. If she really wanted him to love her, she’d drown that bitch in red mead or charm him like any other sucker, but she doesn’t. She’s p much doing what most female characters do to Guda and likes him for the basic kindness he gave her when they were alive, but unlike most female characters, she also does not want him to be in love with her becuase from her perspective, that’s probably one quick way to getting hurt. She has had banters, discussions and debates, and casual conversations with Alter and Lancer, but she’s never really made a genuine pass. She might express interest in him more due to familiarity and takes what he says into consideration more than others, but she still a bit closed off from him.

Then there’s her thing with Fergus, and she also isn’t particularly into him. She has sex with him, but she kind of doesn’t really flirt with him? She definitely trusts him more than the average person, that she’s cool with him being honest if he doesn’t like what she’s doing. He cares a lot about her as a person and looks over her more than he’s sexually attracted to her. We do not actually know what she’s privately talked to him about, but he seems pretty in-tune to how she’s feeling and knows her better than anyone. He’s just also very aware that Medb is very free spirited and lets her do her own thing. They actually both turned down each other’s invitation to sleep together in America, which I thought was really funny. But yeah! Fergus has aggressively flirted with ppl or talked about how much he loves women (to the point that even Proto Cu and Scathatch reference this about him), whereas Medb does not.

The one thing Medb has done is become somewhat open to having female friends. She’s portrayed as the type of friend that complains yet will do things when asked, as well as looking out for others despite being “the selfish one.” Sei mentions that Medb did her nail art depsite grumbling about it. Medb also gets Tomoe to come out of her shell and keeps her from being a shut in. In the Prisma event, she had asked the magical girls to join her (Helena was the closest to being Medb’s first friend in the series) and her intentions were always to benefit everyone, even though she, a warrior queen, was clearly the only powerful fighter and coulda just slaughtered everyone. She befriends some of the widow characters, including Tomoe, Boudica, etc and gets them to relax at the spa. Medb does a lot for her friends, which I feel can benefit her as having an emotional support group, which she sorely needs more than any relationship imo. As much as I love romance and funny ship art, I would much rather like seeing her able to learn to trust people and connect with others

Anyways, I just think it’s incredibly strange that just having the background knowledge of her lore, she rarely does anything remotely sexual. Like she’s definitely has said she’s horny once and then whipped her Celtic warriors, but like... that’s more her libido and utilizing sex as a coping mechanism and release of tension? Also it’s not like she’s disgusted or have a lack of interest in romance, she just doesn’t have much healthy experience in being genuinely loved compared to Fergus who loves his wife most of all. She’s just way too guarded as a person, and I feel like it gets ignored or forgotten all the time

So what I’m saying is: Medb is a sex positive asexual with a high libido

happy ace awareness week

#magical college girl medb #Its 1am and I have no idea what Ive written anymore #long post #rip mobile users #But yeah Medb is biromantic #I genuinely like Medb and Helena being friends as a concept #I also like Medb and Boudica having a daughter mother relationship #too bad im lazy and never finished the drawings I have with either of them #I will address Sk*di in another post #shes a small part in the other long ass post Im writing #ace #asexual

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nightswithkookmin · 4 years

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Imo there is enough to support the possibility of a romantic relationship, but you are writing full on narratives with impossible specificity. You know what confirmation bias is but some young impressionable people dont yet . Forgive me but misleading with ' alt facts' can hurt someone even if you dont mean it. I think you are a good person not looking to hurt anyone. But the way you postulate without any evidence makes your actions a little but like those of a charlatan. Peace and kindness

All these kind words you spew...

It feels more like an advice than a question so I'm not sure how to respond to it...

Let me just say thank you? I never quite understood what the brouhaha was about with my posts but after talking to a few people, 'on the other side' lol and reading your Ask, I think I'm starting to get a better sense of what the problem is.

Something about young impressionable minds or people?

Let the council of elders know, those are not my audience please. I cater to a much more mature audience- at least so far. The people that I interact with and engage with on my posts on and off Tumblr are very mature and not impressionable at all.

They are People with brains who can tell an opinion from fact and can engage in deep complex controversial conversations without throwing up, shedding tears or cussing through to the heavens.

If there are 'impressionable people' reading my blogs- they do so at their own risk. If you know any such people or they run to you with my theories kindly point out to them it's just theory because that's what my opinions are.

I think the best thing you can do is to advice such people to grow up if they are going to sit at the adult table or not read my posts at all. I think you need to learn to hold the right people accountable for their actions.

The best I can do in this case- to hold myself accountable, is to put up a disclaimer on my posts to let people know what it is that they are reading- something I do quite often. But I will make conscious efforts to put up those disclaimers each time henceforth. Thank you.

That I write full on narratives with impossible specificity:

Is this Latin for, 'you write fiction get the fuck outta here?' Chilee.

I don't even know what you mean by this exactly so I may not be able to respond to it to your satisfaction. Bare with me.

So what if I write fiction? What is wrong with writing fiction? Do you hate fiction writers? I don't get what the hate is with these complaints honestly. Do you want me to put up a disclaimer stating my blogs are fiction? Would that help? I would glady do it.

If it helps you sleep at night think of my blogs as fiction- a rose by any other name. I've been keeping up with Shakespeare. Lol.

I don't think it's that deep. Listen, you gotta understand that just because we both 'ship' Jikook don't mean we are on the same team...

Most alt shippers I know and who read my posts and engage with it are not even Army to begin with, for your information. They could care less about these shipping politics of yours. Have you thought about that?

Some simply ship JK and JM and support them because they believe they are members of the LGBTQ plus community not because they are part of BTS.

There are different communities out there who are also into Jikook- for very different reasons. You gotta respect that.

To you, Jikook is just a ship within BTS that may or may not be real, but to some of us they have very much outgrown that description...

They are a brand of their own, a power couple and members of the LGBTQ plus community- Gay Icons extraordinaire. I think we take very different stock in Jikook. So stop trying to fit us all into one box.

It's disrespectful to try and control the way that people perceive their OTP and support them. Jikook don't just belong to Army Jokers, they belong to different communities outside Army. Are you aware of that?

And please don't confuse the intersect. I am an alt-shipper yes but I just so happen to be an Army too. But if I wasn't an Army, I'd still pretty much 'ship' and support Jikook- make no mistake. There are quite a few of us running around these streets, you know?

So you have every right to want to gatekeep your Army Jikook- but you have to do that without infringing on other rights of other 'Jikook communities.'

Throughout my blogs I have tried to shed light on what altshipping is because I thought it would help bridge the gap but clearly that hasn't worked. Sigh.

Misleading alt facts

Do you not know what it means or you are just being ironic?👀

Why is it ok for you to believe and proclaim that JK and BigHit lied about JK dating the Tattoo artist but it's not ok for me to believe JK is telling the truth when he says he didn't date her and that BigHit saw an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone- hence why they didn't press charges against the shop for breach of privacy like they had said they were going to do. Instead, they had asked the shop to keep calm till the scandal died down on it's own?

You start your piece off with the whole, 'there is enough evidence to support a romantic relationship' between JK and the tattoo shop lady- I assume.

For context, this Ask by this anon is in response to my recent post/ answer on the tattoo girl scandal where the topic of discussion was on BigHit, JK and the tattoo artist and not Jikook perse.

A statement that is in direct conflict with JK's statement, BigHit's and the lady in questions, all denying that there was a romantic relationship between her and Jungkook- and somehow I am misleading who- who now with my theory??? Chileee.

Do you see the problem here? Double standards- the hallmark of bigotry. Lmho. You are literally doing the very thing you are accusing me of. Making confident assertions and claiming you know more about JK and the Lady's relationship and even have 'enough evidence' contrary to BigHit, JK and the Tattoo artist's statements denying the rumors- at least when I theorize I admit I'm being delusional. What's your excuse? When you say charlatan are you referring to yourself? You must be. Lmho.

Now I'm confident in my comprehension skills and intelligent enough to know when you make an assertion like this- it is your opinion and you are just stating your opinion. If you are not then honey you'd be opening yourself up to some serious litigation... goodluck I guess. Lol.

You are allowed to form an opinion about a topic. There is nothing wrong with that. If to you, JK and this person dated that is fine. I am not going to cyber bully you, stalk you, throw slurs at you, harrass you, dox you, slid into people's Dms to spread hate and lies about you just because I don't agree with your opinion. And for the record, I don't agree with your opinion. Hehehehe.

I have stated my opinion on the matter. I said I think JK and this person did hang out, go on dates but that there was no romantic sexual relationship between them because I believe that would have had much serious consequences and effects on Jikooks dynamics no matter how much they tried to keep a cool facade. Whoever felt cheated on would have acted more insecure than usual post the incident- how does this make me a charlatan? Are you saying it's wrong it have an opinion? Chileee.

Now if you can produce 'evidence' of them having sex or even kissing, then I will gladly change my mind on the topic and not sweat it.

Jikook have done way worse questionable things in 7 good years and people still don't believe they are dating. Jk hangs out with a female friend a few times in less than a month and suddenly he is dating her? Lmho.

You don't need me to tell you people are more eager to accept a heterosexual relationship than wrap their heads around the fact that two male idols are gay and in a gay relationship with eachother. Don't you just love it when homophobia meets heteronormativity and stinks? I do. Lol.

I mean this is a fandom that thinks JK is 'too touchy' and doesn't respect his boundaries- they practically swear JK is cheating on Jimin with every member any time he hugs, kisses, wings at within the group. You think they will be 'objective' about JK hanging out with a girl? Even if it happened once?

You said something about confirmation bias.... I will not touch it. Lmho.

This is not the first time JK has gone on a date with a girl. This is not the first time he has 'dated a girl', he has hand girls on his laps or whatever- what is a back hug? I think people need to stop defining Jikook's lives by their own standards. If a backhug is intimate to you. Thats you. If you think a grown ass man cannot hang out with a female friend, that's equally you.

You think if he thought it was inappropriate and risky he would do it 'in public?' Get with Kpop Idol dating culture. Lmho.

Do you know the lengths they go through to keep their relationships a secret? Especially non celebrity girlfriends? Chen from EXO got married and where is his wife? They keep their flings tighter than Trump keeps his toupee on his head. Lol.

They hide them not out of shame but out of love and the need to protect their loved ones. These idols have family members who have their restaurants and businesses shut down because they want to keep their privacy.

You think JungKook's girlfriend would- on her own, issue a statement regarding a scandal that Jungkook's agency had specifically directed her and her shop to keep quiet about and lay low till it blew away on its own? And later, started liking couple posts about her and JK? If they were dating, certainly JK would have dumped her after that move. In my opinion.

You think JK would let his fandom drag the person he is in a relationship with to the extent she loses her Job- when in his Itaewon gay pub scandal BigHit referred to the issue as his private affair immediately it happened? They could have kept the same energy with her, no?

They handled his gay pub scandal much better, with much respect and consideration for his privacy- if he dated her sorry but she mustn't have meant much to him at all. And if I were her I would have dumped him for that shit and not stay liking couple posts about us. Damn- But do you.

Taehyung was in a scandal with a girl too- did you see her liking posts and shit and going out of her way to do the most? Did you see how BigHit handled that scandal?

Nothing wrong if JK is 'dating' her or had 'dated' her and whatever person he decides he wants to be in a relationship with I will support him- that's why I support Jikook.

But your opinion is equally valid my guy. Just don't call me a charlatan for mine. You believe they dated, I believe they didn't- and to your impressionable young minds, I hope you are not selling them anything contrary to BigHit and JK's statement. That would be very irresponsible of you. Lol.

What else did you say?

Oh postulating without evidence...

Next time I write a theory based on my observations about Jikook, remind me to break off a piece of my brain and attach it to it- I guess that way people would finally understand when I say things like 'I think' 'in my opinion' 'I feel' 'I believe' that these are just my thoughts and opinions and not facts.

Let me leave you with this:

Peace and kindness. Namaste.

Signed,

GOLDY.

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wedreamedlove · 4 years

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Hello❤❤ I been wondering what are mlqc boys mbti 😂 so do you have any ideas or theory which type they are?

ooh, this is tricky because, apart from xu mo and li zeyan (who are the epitomes of their mbti), i’ve seen many different mbtis tossed out for the other two men. i dived into 16personalities though and i think these are what i'm gonna settle on:

intj for xu mo

i wrote about this in another ask, so i'm gonna cheat and plug it here.

entj for li zeyan

i think the blurb in 16personalities explains it best:

Commanders are also characterized by an often ruthless level of rationality, using their drive, determination and sharp minds to achieve whatever end they’ve set for themselves. Commander personalities have a particular skill in recognizing the talents of others, and this helps in both their team-building efforts (since no one, no matter how brilliant, can do everything alone), and to keep Commanders from displaying too much arrogance and condescension. However, they also have a particular skill in calling out others’ failures with a chilling degree of insensitivity, and this is where Commanders really start to run into trouble.

the charisma of an entj comes from their brilliance at what they do and they just so happen to lift up the people around them at the same time. IMO they don't necessarily have to be a people person. they're magnetic because of their drive and ambition.

they also respect people who stand up to them and intellectually challenge them, which is shown all the time with how much li zeyan appreciates the MC when she pushes back against him.

the relationship section is also 100% him and how he's in it for the long haul when he sets his eyes on a partner. improving themselves and their partner is a major point with entj and we see that happening too (also quintessential capricorn trait, so we're getting a double whammy here, haha).

infj for bai qi

i ultimately settled on advocate even though some parts may raise eyebrows. i feel like his inborn sense of justice falls under the idealistic goal that advocates work tirelessly towards to make a lasting impact in the world. (fictional military and police characters are all about making the world a better place. that's the archetype here.)

the part people may disagree with is how advocates are soft-spoken and easily connect with others using warm and sensitive language. but i raise you how bai qi acts around MC. he's probably unique among advocates in that he only shows this side to the MC and no one else. he dotes on MC and prioritizes her feelings and never trivializes them with logic (looking at you, li zeyan, jkjk).

if you look at advocates strength and weaknesses, i think the fit becomes stronger:

creative: bai qi works around the law sometimes and has grey informants to help him. insightful: you can see him making connections on the job. inspiring and convincing: he's not an orator but he inspires through his actions, ex. fanboy police officers, fanboy squad members, fanboy hanye. decisive, determined and passionate, and altruistic: i don't think i need to give examples here. sensitive: it says here that being challenged leads to a strong response. i think their example is anger, but i think bai qi's jump to change his personality is a big one too. extremely private: yeah, nothing needs to be said here. perfectionistic: mhm. always need to have a cause: hello?? his GSH line for his army uniform is that his badges and medals are his convictions, but MC is the direction he moves in.

anyway, the advocate approach to relationships was also a big factor as to why i chose this for bai qi. it fits him and MC perfectly. advocates take their time finding their partners and, once they do, their relationship reaches a depth and sincerity that most people can only dream of.

i know bai qi blushes a lot but it's been shown repeatedly that he doesn't shy away from delivering monologues about his love.

Advocate personalities are enthusiastic in their relationships. There is a sense of wisdom behind their spontaneity, allowing them to pleasantly surprise their partners again and again. These types aren’t afraid to show their love, and they feel it unconditionally. Advocates create a depth to their relationships that can hardly be described in conventional terms. Relationships with Advocates are not for the uncommitted or the shallow. When it comes to intimacy, Advocates look for a connection that goes beyond the physical. They prefer to embrace the emotional and even spiritual connection they have with their partners. People with this personality type are passionate partners. Advocates see intimacy as a way to express their love and to make their partners happy. They cherish not just the act of being in a relationship, but what it means to become one with another person in mind, body, and soul.

cough cough, hello, bai qi literally making MC his flag, his north star, his direction in life, etc.

isfj for zhou qiluo

this was a hard one because i was placing equal importance on luoluo the idol, KEY, and helios. i chose defender because of their dualities like being reserved but a people-person, sensitive but analytical, etc.

the desire to do good is important because luoluo is like bai qi in that they both have an ideal they want to uphold. we should never forget his iconic line about how he protects the light in the shadows.

i was tickled at seeing the line about how defenders are perfectionists but also procrastinators because i remember translating a line from luoluo's mini-house about how he gets overwhelmed with work, but that when push comes to shove he'll work harder than anyone else.

i know the bit about them being uncomfortable in the spotlight may seem odd because he's an idol, but IMO luoluo has always been extremely humble with his work and recognizes how he's only reached his status because of the support from his fans and the people he works with.

the shyness in defenders is probably the hardest part to align with luoluo but i mean it could just not apply to him as strongly, sort of like bai qi and sensitivity to criticism. if we sort of merge shyness with the repression of feelings weakness then i think it makes more sense.

i recall mentioning in the speech quirks that luoluo, for all his openness, seems to be more emotionally closed than bai qi. he hides his feelings under hypothetical stories and questions. "if the hero became the villain..." etc etc.

or we could read shyness as an inability to share all sides of himself and this is reflected in how hard luoluo hides his helios side from MC. anyway, defenders are also extremely serious about relationships and have deep feelings underneath their shyness (coincidentally all the mbtis i chose for the guys have serious approaches to love LOL i swear i didn't plan this).

#mlqc #mr love queen's choice #love and producer #mlqc gavin #mlqc victor #mlqc lucien #mlqc kiro #mlqc bai qi #mlqc li zeyan #mlqc xu mo #mlqc zhou qiluo #love and produc(ing) meta #answered asks

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paraclete0407 · 3 years

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IDK why on my life’s last night or plausible last night I keep thinking almost of my own ‘Ah but’ conceit. Over and again opening Bibles to passages about brides; ‘Red Is the Rose,’ superiority / supremacy, or simply settledness like a treaty or accord. I ought to confess like 2-3 months ago I went, ‘Yes! - I was single for like 14 years and wasn’t even really trying; I kept approaching the mat then going back; I was not engaging every target or even tracking most targets and I wasn’t trying to punish or sabotage exes either.’ People in Milwaukee seem 100% out of their minds like, - I am not saying this to gossip or attack people I care about with similar convictions, sentiments, mentality of ‘private war’ concerning chivalry - but guy in the hospital is like, ‘My beautiful Caucasian-Hmong daughters, America left her mountain-people behind - but I can’t stop f---ing hookers all the time.’ Why not? Selling drugs, getting your car shot up - or is this a pathological liar? Mental hospitals are like orgies; I want a turkey-sandwich and these people can’t stop; the turkey-sandwich is not where the nurse is walking; am I am omni-adulterer? I see beauty everywhere; I read ‘The Theology of the Body’ or at least skimmed over it. ‘God created DNA, the nuclear family.’ God created meosis; sexual reproduction; changes; new nuclear families... I’m not even trying to start fights though; I am trying to indicate the radicality of the present era. But sexual reproduction is not the same as sexual chaingunning. I remember my friend ‘Rupert’ in Korea but he was not even a or the problem; these people have made a huge idol of sexual contact or society / socialization and i as if all of Milwaukee has become Rutgers for Life. They wonder why they are schizophrenic; they’re sinning day and night against their own body. IDK and I get more and more anti-Black almost and anti-Caucasian as well b/c they’ll never settle down; they think that believing in settledness is weakness or they’re cashing in on the reward of failure and ‘experience’ by adding more and experience. But, he does have real daughters and a kind-of-wife and I feel like I’m beating myself over the head like a child shaking rattles.

When I was in KR I never once contemplated owning a weapon, studying martial arts, taking up running, hoarding supplies. ROKA is like everybody there, USFK is a tripwire for trillions of dollars of awesome ‘fire and fury,’ why would I ‘diversity,’ I am hagwon-flak + philosopher-king(?). ‘Canadia _’ is talking about how ‘Texas Bill’ would fight the North Koreans - this is N. American I don’t even know. ‘I just wish I used my concealed carry once in my life.’ What about live by sword die by sword?

I am trying to give away everything to the few individuals I feel could ‘husband’ these. I keep going back but it amazed / blew away how Ahn Yujin singing about getting married is brainwashed patriarchy and Cardi singing about wanting to destroy herself along with all others unrestricted war CCP style is heroic - it is mental North Koreanness; Yeonmi Park is softpedaling.

‘Like a Dream’ like the A-Pink song ‘Like a Dream’ from ‘Snow Pink’ which was great years ago. I was at [feminist bookstore in Madison] and as I looked at ‘The Snow Queen’ which is partly liberal eye-rolling I thought, ‘Chorong is sitting out the Iraq War and dropped out of RU b/c it is a _ _; she is talking with her little brother; _ _ has a van and he is helping her. She does leg-presses. She is not wasting her life.’ Later I added D&E’d ‘Growing Pains’ as her brother is leaving BN in an S-550 or so. I like 2-gen b/c they are like my ‘mates.’ Snow falls; walk away from ‘fearful Jewess’ (Baudelaire). Just cleave to what is good and stop trying to be ‘Magic Oreo’ etc.’ I tried to lecture s1 about how the chorus is like a trumpet but no one can hold these appreciations or synaesthesia or whatever; they really want me to be homosexual, get AIDS, pay tribute to life by wasting it and blaming God for making me a permanent child or so (’I never met a real homosexual but I met many pederasts’ - Houllebecq). I’m not even against George W. Bush at all b/c McCain was kind of a principle-monkey and Bob Dole was a ‘bridge to the past(?!)’ but GWB is still trying to ‘broadly benefit humanity’ to this day.

‘TPTX a.k.a. Niles IL.’ f(x) were a bad band in many ways that harmed their members IMO ‘hierogryphics’ and training body in ways it was bad to train. ‘Henry’ the Korean, Brunswick Zone, the girl the brother who disappears to KR. Some kind of house that’s like my cousin’s house in Pomona.

‘fy’ - ‘Sciences great’ - ‘Airplane’ - w/in a few decades of Kitty Hawk they were already bombing and bombing and bombing. ‘Fukuoka Nightclub’ - I didn’t go to Fuku, didn’t go to S’hai, it’s expat trash, it’s experience-gluttons, it’s ‘Farewell My Concubine’ types. I just like the words - ‘forest of buildings, eternity...’ I thought this is like ‘skin, flush, blood.’ But it never evolved or changed b/c that still is just Millennial railing against stuff + reality kept happening; I maintained interest in things outside myself

I decided not to talk about Sulli after her suicide and started nuking my old Tumblr’s. Her passing made me think of Fleetwood Mac’s ‘Songbird’ but that might be fetishistic as well b/c there are better alternatives. I guess I don’t understand how quickly people get totally cornered or have some kind of countdown in their heart or feel the need to maximize their reply ‘End of Evangelion’ (don’t watch it)-style. Mental North Koreanness except the part with ‘Jesus Bleibet’ which I felt was like ‘surfacing’ and also almost as though Shinji is looking in to Asuka’s eyes and Tokyo morning, the thoughtful cat, ‘uriduri modeun.’

I keep coming back to ‘These external regions’ - ‘Totality and Infinity’ - ‘Come Let Us Dream.’ ‘Final Word.’ ‘Final Love.’ ROK’s still not distributing all their money or anything and I’m telling ppl it is because CCP and Lucifer really want to conduct annihilatory siege-warfare against any nation they decide they could get rid of forever. KR have always known it; it is in their national anthem; ‘we expect the end.’ They’ve been talking about it for years - no more of us in 750 years at this rate - that’ important stuff to think about yet they’re growing whle JP is headscratching, retirement-home-robots.

PPL really don’t want to believe communism would do this and obviously it can’t happen but there is truly this ‘no men no problems’ (Stalin) mindset...

The last song I really loved fiercely was the one that says ‘Come closer to me’ - like ‘Draw near to God.’ I took a walk past the improving piano-student and had an image of a house being raised up like an Amish barn-raising. But, baptism of fire, baptism of water..

I listened to some Servants of Christ lately and it meant or did sth for me my own old family doesn’t any longer voice-wise but I feel as though I am making too of myself. I still recall on 9.11 when GWB read the Psalm I started funeral-laughing; I haven’t been manic in a long time; my extreme temperament and rapid metabolism remain but ppl really are held together and the fear of death and the fear of men can abate, giving way to technical questions like how to live, what to do, how not to get stoned for ‘Yellow Fever’ race-betrayal or the time I was going to buy _ _ a Galaxy Note or give better present then gave worse and everyone knows my intentions - why intend anything? I just wish GWB and our current crop of rulers will not become fatalistic or hyper-pedagogical like ‘bomb Germany into a desert so the German people learn sth’ (Churchill). There are little kids and homeless here who are kind of under ‘reign of grace’ - I considered ‘voice and the diamondization of a style or “address”’ but IDK why I worry about museums right now.

‘

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kosmicdream · 6 years

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Hi I’m Kosmic. I draw webcomics and my webcomics are really long sprawling huge cast ones that will go on for years and they’re non linear and all this stuff that makes ppls heads spin when they try to explain wtf they’re about. I ask myself this question a lot: How the fuck do I maintain this motivation for continuing projects that are honestly, probably bigger than i can possibly feasibly create??? How do i avoid swallowed up by anxiety of my own creations???? is that energy going to run out at any time? should i be worried?? Well! For some reason I... don’t? like i get winded sometimes but in the end, I actually quite like what i do and I don’t care that it takes literally years to make my stories. but when I step back and look at it objectively it does make me scratch my head and wonder how i came to be in this situation. So, sometimes i try and write a few things that help me with understanding my own process, for whatever reason. Or at least I’ll TRY to articulate some of the things i seem to tell myself again and again that help me feel very comfortable with my writing/creating process. So if you want an insight into tips that i give myself.. this is that!

TIP #1 - Everything you Plan will take longer than you planned, but you can make it easier by unexpectedly including information you might have otherwise withheld.

Secrets are cool in your stories. I have so many of them, but I also understand that they’re much more fun to share than to always keep locked up and out of knowledge. I often overshare to the point where ‘info dumping’ happens which is often considered an unattractive quality in comics. But IDM it so much because my comics just need to be drawn and you can’t glorify and hold every flaw over your shoulders when in the end its not going to be that big of a deal. I think its better to give out more information than finding reasons to bend around a story to avoid revealing things. I feel it might even be more obvious if you attempt to do that.

Also, I feel that everything planned in a story can happen quite quickly, and feel much shorter than actually drawing it. Even with the experience ive gained, i still am surprised just by how much i must throw out to make my long scenes shorter and snappier. even then, they are still really long scenes. I don’t mind doing this, I like to make my stories this way- but ive also designed my comic to serve this pace by making my pages less intensive physically to make. I’m not going to go in depth about this as ive already discussed this many times before, but I do think its important to understand that generally, a commitment to a comic is going to be bigger and longer than it appears in your mind or even on paper as a script or thumbnails.

(my comic eggshells, for example, was originally going to be 340ish pages long. but back then, my pacing was much different-- and my pages were generally twice as wide with around 15 panels per page..sometimes more. but i would over-render and make them hard to read, and now i draw very few panels per page and my comics are much ‘longer’ in page count.)

TIP #2

-Accept that your ideas are bigger than what you can draw and enjoy the private context and history of your work without feeling like its less accomplished for not being all out there. Validate yourself but also understand that your readers are not going to understand the depth from your perspective and they will be engaging with the view they’ve been exposed to.

This is kind of a complicated one but I think that its both humbling to accept your work as this multi layered experiences of contradicting perspectives.. theres the planning and your engagement with the goals, the work of translating your creation to others and the vulnerable exposure of these ideas to the audience. As the creator, you get to see things in a very unique way that no one else can but... the one feeling you will never get to see is the audience who has no idea what will happen next. You can anticipate it, but in the end its so vast and unpredictable that it will be impossible to judge what they ALL will FEEL and sometimes? their perceptions can alter your own enjoyment of your work. I guarantee it will change it in SOME way.. that’s part of the sacrifice.

TIP #3

-Allowing change, flexibility and growth into your series- and letting go of control over all facets of it.

As time goes on things just change. Its hard to accommodate or prepare for that kind of investment in your work when you feel like you havent even gotten through the starting gates of your story. Comics are particularly difficult for that because once you draw a thing, it takes time to edit and you cant really undo and go back. Each panel informs and builds on the next. You have to use what’s there and figure out how it can be a structure for the future.

Accepting the past that has helped create the situation and platform of your comic in the present, which will lead into the future. Personally, i’m not a fan of retconing* certain decisions that have been already made into the canon-- however, i think if a new conclusion or idea is discovered in the process of writing and it works to include because it creates a new and alive energy in the work that will help push it to the next stage.. i think that’s very helpful and useful for sustaining the growth and motivation in a story. Making choices like this can be tricky, however, but even small ones can give a lot of natural growth and flexibility in the comic. The problem can often come with letting go of that unseen, unrealized version we had intended. I know for myself, i can get very nostalgically attached to old ideas but-- if i think of something better that works or makes more sense, I’m always thankful to let go and let my stories grow into a better thing. I try to remember where it came from, however. Because that helps inform me where to go.

(*generally my definition for this is altering events of the past, certain core plans of the comic, character motivations, or facts that are connected to the worldbuilding. im kind of a hoarder so once its in the story aka on a specific page-- its not going anywhere. until then things can be up in the air. for example, the characters knife and spoon were not originally intended to be mutually in love and it was more of a one sided idol worship, but as i fleshed their characters out i realized that it was mutual and it changed and altered the story because of that. now it cannot/will not be “undone” for whatever reason bc this is.. an established fact in the story. but at one point, it was not! i hope that makes sense.)

SO TO SUMMARIZE... plans will always be “”bigger”” in the ever expansive space of your mind so also dont be afraid to get to the point sometimes even if it feels a little, like. less exciting than you thought? accept your story is going to be different for YOU vrs your audience and make peace with that disconnect even tho its disorienting + upsetting sometimes & accommodate the ~natural personal and artistic growth~ you will experience and let go of things that might be holding you or your work back from improving with you. but also dont try to cut out too much of the past because.. it is what helped you get to where you are right now? focus on the present & allow growth for the future, dont try to alter the past and pretend it didnt happen. bc that will be confusing as fuck for everyone involved and also probably hurt the story more than help it. esp if its a long one. ur building a tower dont pull out too many foundational blocks and try to make it too much of something else unless its growing there on its own.. u kno?

When I try to write these tips these are just things I find myself doing in a cycle as i create that seem to keep re igniting my passion for my story again and again. It makes me curious because it also is a very instinctual thing so I thought I might try and write it out!!!!!!!!!! ENJOY.

ALSO some bonus thoughts!!!!!!!!!! I will say that I’ve never completed a long format comic series, so take it w/ a grain of salt imo. HOWEVER...I probably will, eventually. Even if I don’t, I do enjoy writing really big ones and I feel very happy with the work i do on them! and still feel no inclination to move onto other things. Or even when I work on other things, I don’t have a feeling of dropping a story entirely. (for example, i still intend to work on my older series eggshells and don’t really feel a desire to ‘quit’ that story even when i have matured as an author/artist since starting it.)

When I read really long comic series I wonder a lot of internal decisions that happen out of sight, since the timeline of a comic that you read is so much different than the timeline it takes actually creating the thing. its so easy to write/plan/form ideas for lifetimes of work that will never be realized, so what is it that we actually get in the pages? What aspects of this author are we actually seeing? how much have they grown since beginning and what about the story we will never know? I know I’ll never know, because, I am only the reader! And as the creator, I will never know what the feeling of my work as the reader. or the cool and interesting things they predict will happen based on their perseptions, which are so different from mine. Yet!! we are all engaged in the same story unfolding, never fully discovering what its like on the other side but only getting little glimpses and thats fascinating how a story is almost this vast illusion of experiences maintained by so many different minds.

Long format comics captivate me because they are just, really time consuming to make and the pacing of them are so different and less consumable than other stories. They like become.. this place you live in! Why are they my favorite to enjoy even when its natural that, when a story becomes longer, its going to end up attracting more & more issues? Why do i Not care about resolutions to long stories sometimes bc my expectations for them are different?? (also lets face it, experience writing long stories is going to be different than writing short ones because it takes time to write longer things & we are not going to have as much experienc having more than one completed super long multi-act-multi-characterplot story vrs a bunch of smaller ones. it doesnt mean its EASIER to write shorter ones, if anything id argue its probably much harder to write good short things + isolate a story down to that focused vision than making tons of long ones that avoid endings) but..yet!! here i am...

why am i constantly drawn to trying to understand long format stories when I probably could improve faster by writing shorter things??! i dont really know! but i follow my heart and my heart likes to do things this way......

anyway, this entire post is mostly inspired by the fact that many of my favorite stories started before i was even born or have been going on for decades and i wonder if we’ll ever read the endings to many of them.... would it.. matter? they’ve already inspired me so much even without a resolution because i can imagine my own endings to things.. but in the end that is not what happened in the actual story. it was only in my mind.. and yet it never happened, and was an illusion unknown to anyone but myself.....and sometimes my favorite stories are my favorites because of the things i imagined them to be, rather than what they actually were or how they actually turned out.. i dont know how this happens..... but i wonder about what this means with my OWN comics, and how my perceptions of what they could be vrs what they are is like, this weird illusion that also exists only in my mind and no one else can see it. yet we are both looking at the same thing. and i want to know what others see and i never will get to??? ....stories are......... so fucking spooky!!!!!!!!!! AHHH!! ok thats all. thx for reading

#personal #comic writing #ffak faq

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