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purgemarchlockdown · 5 months

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Milgram and The Rose Bride

(CWs: Child Abuse, Cults, Unhealthy Relationships, Bullying, Sexism, Discussions of Ownership in the context of Marriage, minor mentions of sexual abuse and minor mentions of sexual abuse in relation to Minors)

(Spoilers for Utena!)

Alright so, since I'm putting this on the Milgram blog, most likely most people who see this don't know what the Rose Bride is and what that means so lets answer that question.

The Rose Bride is a concept in the 90s Psychological Shoujo Anime Revolutionary Girl Utena, in which the main premise is that a bunch of highschoolers are dueling for marriage (ownership) of the Rose Bride so that they can revolutionize the world.

Now, the thing is, The Rose Bride is a Real Person, and the implications of her ownership and the environment that Allows for that to happen are explored through the series, and the reason why I'm bringing it up in relation to Milgram is this.

"In the end, all girls are the rose bride."

Let's talk about Mahiru for a bit since her being so focused on romantic love makes it a lot easier to explain what I mean by this.

In T1 we get this interrogation from Mahiru:

T1Q20: What do you think about smoking? I've never smoked before, but I might copy him if who I love smokes.

This is a deeply concerning sentence, Mahiru has just stated that she is willing to do something incredibly physical destructive to herself if the person she loves is doing the same. This connects back to her thoughts on having "matching love."

We fought sometimes, I was happy to get hurt Let's have matching pain, this sickness is pretty bad This is a claim of responsibility From the two of us with matching love

Now, the Rose Bride has to anything the person who is engaged to her tells her to do. The Rose Bride is not allowed any sort of Autonomy or Agency.

(Transcript Link for Utena Scripts)

Touga: The Rose Bride, cooking? Touga: You shouldn't do such things as cooking. Touga: You should only take care of the roses here. Touga: This birdcage is your territory. Touga: And you are the beautiful little bird which lives here. Touga: I want to possess this birdcage, and everything in it.

Touga: Himemiya Anthy is the Bride of the victor of the Duel. Touga: While she was engaged to you, the Code required her to obey you.

I Love You:

What am I supposed to do now? If you won’t tell me, I can’t be me

Mahiru is also probably the most traditionally feminine out of the entire female cast. With her priorities being love, romance, and having children.

(Mahiru Interrogation)

T2Q1: What's your opinion on Marriage? Mahiru: It's something I really dream of.

T2Q10: Do you like children? Mahiru: Yup. I always dreamed of having the older being a girl, and the younger being a boy.

Mahiru is willing to do Anything for love, even if it gets her hurt in the process. That's what she's Supposed to want, that's what is Supposed to bring her joy, that's what is Supposed to bring everyone joy. (Mahiru T1 VD)

Es: I honestly have no interest in those matters. Mahiru: What? No, no. There’s no such thing as that. Being in love is like a landmine. It’ll explode someday, you know? The only thing that differs is whether it happens earlier or later in life. It’ll happen to you too. Even if you don’t have any interest in it now, one day it’ll explode for you as well. All because you’ll have that fateful encounter with your special someone.

Love is what Everyone Wants and if you say you Don't you just haven't found the right person.

Mahiru: Yeah, yeah. You’ll deny it at first. I mean, I was like that as well. Before then, I always admired soap operas and shoujo manga because I thought that they depicted a world different from our own.

Voice: Once upon a time... Voice: ...there was a princess grieving over the deaths of her mother and father. Voice: Before this princess appeared a prince traveling upon a white horse. Voice: His appearance gallant, and his smile gentle, the prince enveloped the princess

The amatonormativity in Mahiru's worldview is clear. People are Supposed to fall in love and have the Normal Idealized Heterosexual Romance and there's Nothing Else Outside of That At All.

Mahiru: Yeah, yeah. You’ll deny it at first. I mean, I was like that as well.

Anthy: But I've been engaged to you, Utena-sama. Utena: I've told you to stop mentioning stuff like "engagement" and the "Rose Bride." Anthy: Nevertheless... Utena: Look, no matter how you look at me, I'm a regular wholesome girl. Utena: I'm only interested in wholesome boys, not a bride or stuff like that.

And Mahiru does a lot to preserve a "marketable" quality to her actions and behavior. TIHTBILWY is formatted like a magazine, something that is sold and bought by consumers. Erasing the messiness of her relationship or even Romanticizing those qualities to seem appealing.

Giving you love to the point of pulling you down It's just because I still get worried, please forgive me Even when I test you, even the times we do the breakup ritual, Is because I love you

Voice: but because of the strength of her admiration for the prince, Voice: the princess made up her mind to become a prince herself! Voice: But is that really good for her?

The story of the Prince in Utena is one that is a fabrication, it hides and excludes multiple Very Important parts of the story all in the favor of portraying the Ideal Fairytale Heterosexual Romance.

Unlike Utena who chooses to become a "Prince" (which is a concept I'll get into in a bit.) Mahiru is trying to make Herself the Rose Bride. She orientates her life around who she loves, she's willing to accept a lot of abuse for the sake of an Ideal Relationship, she even actively downplays her intelligence and strength! Something that is explored in detail by this post by archivalofsins you should check out.

Now that isn't to say Mahiru isn't a horrible partner. She is, and this is why. Mahiru is Expecting this sort of incredibly idealistic fairytale romance from her partner, an ideal that no person can possibly live up to without harming the people they care about and themselves!

Do you really think you know what love is? If you do, let's just overheat together The things that I only want to say to you, and the things that I want from you Is love

My emotions are out of control, that’s inconvenient? I don’t care!

You can't live up to this and you shouldn't want to! It's an unrealistic and unachievable ideal with a horrific power imbalance to boot! Yet Mahiru is Trying to conform to these ideals, trying to conform to the unrealistic expectations of women and relationships in society, and that's why she's here in the first place.

"He who believes friendship exists is a fool."

So these toxic and unhealthy ideals and expectations are at the core of Mahiru's character and her situation. But there ideals are perpetuated by an environment that promotes this sort of behavior, one that isn't unique to Mahiru's situation.

Muu Kusunoki is a 16 year old teenage girl who is both a victim of bullying and someone who bullies others for her own gain.

She also might of had a homoromantic relationship with her murder victim.

Let’s meet up inside the pain, a place just for me Postmortem makeup to hide my heart, how to solve it is a secret The stabbing of the little devil’s voice, counterattack being a suicide note “I love YOU”

I wonder who that reminds me of.

I'll get into Shiori in a second, but it's important to note that Muu introduces a concept that's present in Mahiru's story but is particularly present in Muu, the concept of the cycle.

Saionji: No... I was to be the one to rescue her from the coffin this time. Saionji: No! I am the one who will save her this time. The castle said to contain eternity... Saionji: the power to revolutionize the world...

The concept of eternity and nostalgia in Utena tends to be depicted as a coffin, one you need to break out of to grow.

Touga: If the egg's shell does not break, the chick will die without being born. Touga: We are the chick; the egg is the world. Touga: If the world's shell does not break, we will die without being born. Touga: Break the world's shell! Touga-Juri: For the sake of revolutionizing the world!

The duelists want the Rose Bride so that they can gain the power to revolutionize the world. Who she is does not Matter as much as what she can Give Them.

Now, this idea is particularly present in characters like Shidou and Kotoko who position themselves as saviors, not for the benefit of others but for what they Get out of that arrangement, thematically fitting the concept of the prince.

However, Muu is not the prince, she is not a savior. In fact she always positions herself as the victim, as someone pitiful and weak. (Crying B)

Muu: Hey… Prison guard, when you say “I”… Who are you talking about? Es: [breaking down] Muu: Prison guard? Es: [stumbles] Muu: Prison guard. What’s wrong? Prison guard! [shakes Es] Hey! Prison guard! Es: Shut up! Don’t touch me! Muu: [cries] You’re so cruel… I… Even though I was just worried about you… [cries again] I can’t take it anymore. I hate you, prison guard!

Es pain and breakdown is caused by something Muu said, and yet when Es very sharply tells her not to touch them because their uncomfortable with it. Muu immediately starts crying and talking about how much They got hurt because of what they did, when Es is currently unresponsive due to what she did to them, albeit unintentionally.

Muu needs to to be the victim, After Pain shows all the bad things that happened to her and not Any of the bullying she participated in. It's Not My Fault is a whole song about how everything she did was right actually and that everyone else was wrong.

Now, Muu isn't a master manipulator or anything. She's an impulsive 16 year old. If Muu was a master manipulator she wouldn't be here, would she? She'd be still in school taking the honey up as she was before Rei did whatever she did.

Muu gains power by being pitiful and weak so she'll be loved, and by its' very nature it's self-destructive. She cannot be Happy because if she Was this wouldn't work anymore. She Must be in a worse situation, she must be the victim, or else no one would pity and love her.

I am innocent as everybody desires

Juri: You're just like Shiori... Juri: ...cruelly innocent.

Muu cycles from being "weak and pitiful" to being "queenly and powerful" and tends to hurt herself in the process. This attempt at grabbing power and love through pity Harms Muu, and she seems to even be drowning in a lot of self-hatred and self-pity, and is looking for external validation to confirm that she's "good."

But I guess some of it is my faultMaybe it’s ok as it is I want to feel “alive”, is it ok if I breathe?

Hey, what if If I am a bad girl Don’t hate me. Don’t even try to proof from “After Pain”

And, in an attempt to gain power and control, Muu traps herself in a coffin.

Shiori: This is me, the real me! Shiori: And not the underdog that was living a miserable life in the shadow of the bright shining Juri! Shiori: The real me that surpasses the light. Shiori: Yes, this is the me that controls Juri.

But, it isn't all her fault.

Again, Muu really was bullied, horribly so if were judging by her lyrics in After Pain and the sequences we see in it.

If I was gone, If I had just disappeared I overheard, I found out How much I’m not needed

T1Q4: Is there something you hate? Scary people and ghosts. And right now, school.

Muu isn't lying about this, and Rei isn't fully sympathetic either, she did Hurt Muu and Muu really did want to apologize to her.

T1Q9: Do you have apologetic feelings for who you killed? A: The person who did the wrong thing first should apologize.

Shiori: Juri-san was so kind to me. Shiori: But I thought she was kind to me because she looked down on me, Shiori: and that she had pity on me for being plain and useless. Shiori: That's pathetic! Shiori: So I wanted to change my relationship with Juri-san. Shiori: But what I did with him made me more miserable than before. Shiori: I should have wanted it for myself! Shiori: But now... Shiori: Now I'm on equal terms with her. No, I've won! Shiori: I always had a place in Juri-san's heart. Shiori: I'm the winner! Shiori: What shall I do? I'm so delighted to know my friend's secret I almost can't bear it! Shiori: She suffered alone, looking at my picture in secret... Shiori: That was Juri-san? Poor thing! Shiori: No good! It's still no good! Shiori: How could you look at me like that?!Shiori: Why did it all turn out this way?

The school as a whole is letting a horrible environment of bullying and toxicity be left to rot and fester. You Really Can't create a healthy friendship in a world like that, it just won't let you. If your not friends with someone because you gain something from them, you'll suffer.

Muu: Wow, poor thing,.. I’ll teach you! Friends aren’t like that, you know. Rather than using each other for something, we just get along because we’re comfortable around each other. That’s all. Es: Well, I’m sorry about that. Muu: Haruka-kun is really nice! He accepts anything I say, he listens to anything I tell him. For me, that’s really comfortable. Es: And that’s… “friendship”? Muu: What do you mean? Of course we’re friends! Haruka-kun is happy with it, so it only has benefits for both of us! Es: I, as someone who has no friends, can’t judge, of course, but isn’t that just exploitation? Muu: Exploitation…? Um, I don’t really understand, but… I do help him pick out clothes [in return], and I recently gave him a hairpin I didn’t need anymore as a hand-me-down!

Akio: But sincerity by itself changes nothing. Akio: Without power, one finds themself merely depending on others to live.

Jackalope describes this relationship as a "Master-Servant" relationship and it seems like this is the type of friendship Muu is familiar with. She's emulating how her friendships were in school, just with someone else as the servant and her as the master.

T1Q1: What is a friend? A: Someone who properly listens to what I say.

Now this doesn't completely absolve her obviously, what she did was still Very Bad and even though she Breaks the hourglass in her MVs. She doesn't really leave it.

Muu does not want to accept responsibility for her actions, she believes herself to be justified and in the right, even when she has Done Wrong.

This unwillingness to accept when something she did is wrong and the unhealthy environment of Milgram that assigns strict moral value to people's actions and has no nuance in its judgement...leads her back into the cycle she was trapped in.

“A girl who cannot become a princess is doomed to become a witch.”

Now we've tackled the gender roles and horribly toxic cycles and ideals, so, what happens when you Can't work within those confines, or even want to break out of them? Just, hypothetically, if you cannot become a princess (which is everyone because the ideal of a princess is so incredibly unrealistic that anyone who aspires to be it would destroy themselves in the process) or Don't want to be a princess, what happens?

Well.

You become something Other.

Something Evil and Unnatural.

Something that needs to be Punished and Harmed.

So, now, this is where I have to mention that Utena as a show deals with underage sexual abuse, I didn't mention this for the other sections since they were not as relevant to those discussions. However since this section deals with the abuse received by the Rose Bride it feels important to mention.

I will not be referring to it in the context of Amane's due to how we don't have information in the text pointing to Amane being a csa victim. This is for the sake of Tact, as it feels wrong to speculate about it here and I do not feel like I'm the right person to examine this.

It will, again, be mentioned and alluded to, so stay safe and do what's good for your health.

So, Amane Momose is repeatedly dehumanized throughout her story.

This is a consistent theme with her, she is treated as something subhuman and terrifying.

In Purge March, Amane is consistently depicted as scary, threatening, or otherwise evil.

There's even a section in her T2 VD where Amane calls herself "evil," though it is done in a roundabout way while she's talking about Shidou (who I will get to in a bit.)

A: Both pain and illness are trials. According to our teachings, those who run from them are the worst evil there is. That’s one of the four great principles. No matter who you are, that cannot be forgiven. E: What are you…? A: Oh – speaking of which, there is one among the prisoners right now. An evil existence that’s trying to steal people’s trials away from them.

Shadow: The witch roams this world of darkness even now. Shadow: Seeking the young and noble, to sacrifice them anew! Shadow: Surely the light presents an obstacle to the witch, to her dominion over the dark. Shadow: Beware! Beware! She is still somewhere in this world...

Not only that, but Amane is The Cat, a symbol constantly associated with sin and impurity throughout the MVs with Kazui and Yuno.

And is implied to have actually Been asked if she was human by her parents.

(Amane T1 VD)

Amane: Yes. It is only natural for a person(/human) to apologize to another for breaking a promise. Es: … Amane: Why are you looking so doubtful? Are you not human?

I promise! A good girl that keeps a promise is like, mwah!

Amane is not to be considered human, she's even collared and leashed in her Prisoner design, the medal and bow on her outfits in the MVs being another "collar" of sorts.

Amane Needs to be Restrained and Domesticated or else she'll bring harm to the people around her. She isn't good enough to be a "good girl" and seems to Know This.

Only if, only if, only if I could be a good girl

It's always "I can be a better girl" or "I can be a good girl" and not "I am a good girl," and the line above implies its impossible for her to be one. It's not something she can do.

When she gets punished by her parents its to make her a "better girl," and to "change" her into a "good girl." It is love, for they are not leaving her to die as an animal.

(Amane Interrogations)

T2Q9: What does love mean to you? A: To spread mercy with no limits.

But it’s not scary at all, because it’s love I can really think it’s great. See isn’t it a great thing?

Even though these punishments keep on Almost Killing Her!

It's what she needs to go through to be good! And even if she doesn't even believe its possibly anymore what else can she do? Run? Running away from trials is a sin! One of the worst there is! She can't allow herself to be more sullied than she already is.

Plus she knows this is love, she isn't scared anymore, it's childish to be scared of it.

Akio: A child like you can't appreciate my ideals. Akio: The Rose Bride exists because of ideals you don't comprehend.

Plus there's a sort of comfort in it, she knows what happens next. She idealizes Milgram somewhat in T1, believing that it's possible for this world, that resembles her abusive environment so much, could be Good.

Amane: Ah, I am looking forward to it! Seeing whether your judgement will align with that of these higher standards! If that is the case, maybe Milgram would be the right world for us to live in, rather than the outside world! Milgram relies on your judgement, isn’t that right? In that case, you could become the mediator for a far more righteous world!!

There's a comfort in Milgram's strict forgiven/unforgiven verdict system with a (theoretical) possibility of growth! And she later takes comfort in the same religious doctrine that Harmed her when Es does declare her as unforgiven.

If your so used to a situation, even if it harms you, why would you ever want to leave it? It's scarier if you leave it, you don't know what will happen next. At least at home, Amane knows what to do so she can get off a bit longer without getting hurt.

If you become a bad girl, monsters will come out This is the magic that stops that from happening

Akio: Anthy, the sword. Akio: That's right. You're a good girl, Anthy.

Amane's suffered for twelve or so years, an eternity trapped in a coffin. A cycle of abuse and pain and horror and fear. Why would she Ever want to leave it when what she's seen of the outside world is so horrible?

Amane: In fact, there have been people who said that to me. I’ve been told things like, “You’re being deceived.” “You can still make it right now.” “You’re crazy.”

People are always positioning themselves as stronger than her, people are always positioning themselves as smarter than her, people are always positioning themselves as Her Prince.

Shidou: I…… I just don’t understand. If everything about MILGRAM is true…… why did a child like you have to become a murderer? Just imagining what sort of circumstances must have led to that, it makes me so sad…… Amane: ……*sigh*. Is that right. I don’t think I’m going to get along with you, Shidou-san. I don’t agree with the fact you refuse to acknowledge that I have my own free will, and that I should be held accountable for my actions, just because I’m a child. I may have only been alive for 12 years, but all the choices I’ve made, even if they weren’t the best ones, were entirely my own. What point is there in you getting sad when I have no regrets myself? ……please give me back my test. It seems you don’t have the concentration levels required to be my teacher. I’m going to get Kotoko-san to teach me instead. Shidou: Amane…… I don’t think that’s true. However smart you may be…… you’re still just a child.

Utena: Cut it out with that "Rose Bride" or "possession" nonsense. Utena: That girl is an ordinary girl named Himemiya Anthy! Touga: Is she? Touga: Is it true that you're an ordinary girl? Utena: You don't like it, do you? Utena: Being the Rose Bride or whatever... Anthy: I... Utena: Go ahead, speak your mind! Anthy: My mind... Utena: Yeah! Utena: You hate being treated as the Rose Bride, right? Utena: Tell him clearly! Anthy: All right. Anthy: I hate being treated as the Rose Bride. Utena: What's so funny?

Amane: You are treating me as a child after all. Because I’m a child, you believe that I must have been brainwashed. It’s not like that. I, too— children, too, understand everything! Please don’t just decide that people must be unhappy.

What she wants doesn't matter! When has it ever mattered? The people who say it does, don't like it when she acts in a manner they don't expect and her parents have made it Very Clear that what she does isn't important to them.

Any sort of happiness she could possibly get tends to come from things that are outside of her cult. And because of that, she isn't supposed to have them, and she is wrong for wanting them in the first place.

And yet...Amane cares so much about having free will and autonomy though, it's her main argument in her T1 VD and her biggest problem with her treatment.

Amane: I see. Then, are the things that I as a twelve-year-old think irrelevant? Are you going to cast aside the feelings that I know I have in this very moment, purely based on the fact that I have not yet lived for a very long time? Judging these things based on someone’s age will not take you very far. Do I, at age twelve, not have my own will?

That's the thing with Amane Momose, she doesn't want to be a "princess."

T2Q13: If you could be reborn, would you still choose to be yourself? A: Obviously.

She wants to stay as her, no matter what. In spite of all of this she doesn't want to be anything else But Her. Even if it gets her hurt.

Amane helped the cat because she wanted to, she saw it hurt and couldn't look away.

Utena: Hey, save her! Utena: It's too cruel! Utena: Save her! Utena: Save her...

And in the eyes of god, she was wrong for doing so.

Dios: She can no longer be saved.

’Tis ordained, thou shall follow thine destiny

But again, Amane doesn't want to die.

T1Q12: What is the meaning of life? A: I think it is something you learn for the first time when you look behind yourself when it ends. I do not want to have regrets then, so I live on with all my might.

This was the tipping point of her, how much more is she willing to suffer? How much longer is she willing to stay here? Because she will die, it's not an if, its a when.

So, she decides, to break out of her coffin, and while it is partially due to how she was given a righteous reason to kill her mother. It is a crime that is mainly motivated by self-preservation and hatred.

Amane: Furthermore, isn’t it condescending of you to assume that just because I happen to be a child, I am incapable of hating someone enough to kill them?

Unfortunately for her, the audience isn't as willing to accept that.

I talk about it in more detail over here but we are Constantly positioned in the place of her abusers. From framing to her opinions on us, ever since we voted her guilty in T1 for the primary reason of "making her realize her mistakes." we mimic her parents.

Since she cannot become a princess, she becomes a witch, and is forced right back into that cycle she desperately tried to escape.

And Someday, Together, We'll Shine

So, that's a bit of a downer. But even so we have hope!

It's not exactly easy when the system built is so counter-productive to everyone's wellbeing and development that it often makes them worse instead of better.

But Amane has made a promise to live. Muu Does want to have genuine relationships with the people around her. And Mahiru has admitted her relationship wasn't as ideal as she initially thought.

And sometimes, you just need to see a possibility for something outside of all this to be able to get out of it.

Anthy: What will you be doing in ten years? Utena: I dunno. But... Anthy: But? Utena: But I hope we can be together like this drinking tea then. Anthy: Yes. I hope so too. Utena: I'm sure that'll be great. Utena: Let's have tea and laugh together ten years from now, okay? Utena: Promise? Anthy: Yes. Definitely.

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howmanyepsofmlseason6areleft · 9 months

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hey y'all, JUST made a reblog ab it but I am indeed back!

Already did an entire explanation and comeback post via this reblog, but thought I should make a post post as well so that it reaches more people and also y'all deserve it!

While you guys should 100000% check the reblog out for a more in depth update on everything, a brief tl;dr is that life got crazy and due to many reasons I lost interest in this blog + miraculous -> I decided not to come back here until I fully recovered/got my life together and gained interest in everything again as to not leave another broken promise -> I have now i've gained said interest back again and will start updating this blog once i'm done binging season 5 (im gonna go watch some episodes right after i post this lol)!

I already typed my heart out in my reblog so check that out for more while I go catch up on this silly goofy show, but yeah!! Love you all <3

#sorry if theres weird sentences and grammar mistakes in any of these posts I gotta lot of emotions right now #and just speed typing w/o proof reading #im also just soooo excited to finally be back!#i have never gone this long not having interest in miraculous #my brain is going rabid now that im tethered to this show again #also i missed you all so dearly #tumblr my beloved

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lovilovessushi · 6 months

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Missing You Always— Lovi x fem! reader

TW: DD/LG, choking, spitting, oral (female & male recieving), degradation (use of whore, slut etc.), hair pulling, dick riding, and just super super kinky tings. Read at you own discretion. MDNI YOU WILL GET BLOCKED!

It had been a whole week since your stupidly cute boyfriend had left for his trip.

You’ve never been apart from him this long—every passing second bittersweet, as it reminds you of the time he’s been gone, but also of how closer you are to being together again.

You miss all of him and how calm his presence makes you feel. You missed his laugh, his stupid jokes, his voice and most importantly… you missed his soft touch.

God, you missed the way he caresses your cheeks and looks at you like you’re so precious to him. How his fingers feel gliding along your skin at any given moment (literally whenever, wherever—not that you’re complaining). Gosh it was so cruel to not be with him right now.

In all honesty, the way he touches you should be studied—as it’s both a blessing and a sin. With that being said, you still remember the way he fucked you the day before he left.

How his lips felt as he kissed and marked you all over your neck, your stomach, your thighs and especially how his lips felt on your pus—

You close your eyes and take a deep breath. You can’t think about it too much, his absence would only make you go insane.

You head out to buy groceries to try to get your mind off of Lovi. This of course is an impossible task, as everything reminds you of him. The trees remind you of his towering height, the cats and dogs remind you of how playful and adorable he is, and when you finally get to the grocery store, you almost cry and fall to your knees when you see the Patatje Joppie flavored Lays.

“I need to get a fucking grip”, you whisper to yourself shaking your head. You decide to get a few Buenos and Joppie chips to give him when he comes back and finish off your shopping.

As you finally get home, you sigh from relief that you were saved from the heavy rain that had begun to fall. You enjoy the sound of the pitter-patter outside and put away all the groceries in the kitchen of your shared home.

When you’re done, you smile at yourself for being productive and make your way upstairs. As you reach the top, you eyebrows furrow at seeing the light still on in your room.

“I must’ve forgotten to turn it off before I left”, you say out loud.

You reach to turn the door knob open and let out a loud startled scream when something, or rather someone suddenly grabs you inside your bedroom.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s me, it’s me”, Lovi says as he craddles your head to his chest, kissing the top of your head.

You keep your head hidden in his chest and punch his arm.

“You fucking asshole”, you say relieved that it was your annoying boyfriend and not some psycho killer.

He smells so good, a mixture of his and your perfume that you remember spraying all over his clothes before he left.

Lovi chuckles and attempts to bring your face to look up at him, “Hey, look at me”. You giggle as you keep your face hidden from him. “C’mon princess show me your pretty face, it’s been too long”, he whines and you finally give in. You feel your heart beating out of your chest, and you know its not only from being startled a few moments ago.

“I could’ve died from a heart attack you know”, you say looking up at him.

“I know baby, but it was funny”, Lovi says laughing as you hit him again on his arm, pouting.

Lovi coos at you, “Oh c’mon baby, it was funny, don’t be upset with me”. You roll your eyes at him, “Plus, you should’ve seen the face you made, oh my days, and your scream was sooo loud”, he laughs like its the most funniest thing in the world.

“I only ever hear you scream loud like that when I’m fucking you”. You slap his arm harder feeling embarrassed and he just chuckles at you,

“You know I like it when you’re rough with me baby. Hit me as many times as you want I don’t care, in fact it turns me on”.

You stare at him and chuckle disbelief, “I can’t believe you sometimes, so this is how you treat your girlfriend hmm? You know I was missing you so much, but now not anymore.”

It’s Lovi’s turn to rolls his eyes at you, “Of course you miss me, I am the best boyfriend ever. I mean I’m tall, I’m strong, I’m handsome—”

He leans down to whisper in your ear, “I treat you so well too.”

He smiles at you seductively, “Especially with how this big cock fucks into you so good and so deep. What more can you ask for? Huh princess?”, he says whispering into your other ear.

He nibbles on your ear and you shiver in response, “T-t-thats not the point”, you say cursing yourself for stuttering and folding under his pressure.

“T-Then w-what is the point?”, He says mockingly wearing his stupid boyish smile.

Lovi drives you crazy and you don’t think he knows how much he has you wrapped around his finger.

However, this is not the time to tell him that, as you would rather be stroking his cock than his ego right now.

You stare up at him with needy eyes whispering, “Don’t be mean to me daddy, its not fair.”

He looks at you with fake sympathy etched on his face, cradling your cheeks, “Aw princess, I’ll be nice only if your good for me okay. You’re going to be good for me right?”

You nod your head and he clicks his tongue, “Use your big girl words, or is that too hard for your dumb little brain?” Fuck, you feel yourself getting wet. You love when he talks to you like that.

“Yes daddy, I’m going to be a good girl, I promise.”

He smacks your cheek lightly, satisfied with your response, “Mhm good, now c’mere.”

He pulls you in really close to his lips, but not close enough to kiss you. He teases you, rubbing his nose against your cheek and nibbling on your neck. He watches you, entertained by how flustered you look.

“How bad do you want me to kiss you, huh? C’mon you can tell me baby.”

You let out a breathy moan and whisper against his mouth, “So so bad Lovi, I want to feel your lips so bad please~”. He slaps you again and squishes your cheeks roughly to look at him, “It’s daddy, you can say my name later when you earn it bouncing on my cock. Now try again”, he says harshly.

You resist the urge to moan as you look up at him, “Pleeasee daddy, please kiss me, pl—!”, he shuts you up with a slow passionate kiss and you can’t help but feel dizzy.

His lips are so soft, but eager as they press into yours. He slides his fingers down to your jaw and then wraps them around your neck. You gasp as he applies enough pressure with his hand to make you moan into his mouth.

You try occupy yourself by traveling your hands down his chest and into his shirt feeling his well defined abs.

You stick your tongue out swirling it around his, fighting for dominance—he of course wins. You continue playing with his tongue, sucking on it softly which earns moans from the both of you.

He tastes so sweet and it only fuels your addiction to him, as it satisfies your sweet tooth. You honestly don’t know how you lasted so long without him.

While he’s distracted with your tongue, you slide your hand down to his huge bulge.

“Let me show you how much I missed you daddy.”

You don’t give him a chance to respond as you push him onto the bed and get between his legs.

Lovi is caught off guard and cant help but find your desperation very amusing, cute even.

“Aww someone’s a desperate little puppy, slow down baby I’m not going anywhere anytime soon okay”, Lovi says grabbing your hand and kissing the inside of your palm.

You blush, “Sorry ’m just excited, I’ll be more careful.”

You unbuckle his belt and the sound of it makes blood rush down to your clit. It’s pulses so hard you’re sure he can hear it from up there.

He quickly takes off his shirt and you take off his pants along with his underwear.

You watch entranced as his pretty cock springs upward to his stomach.

He’s so big and thick, you can’t help but salivate at the sight of his precum glistening so deliciously on the tip—it belonged inside your mouth.

You also can’t ignore his prominent veins that pulse with arousal, filling you up with excitement at how it will feel in your pussy.

You look up at Lovi with the puppy eyes you know he loves, and plead.

“I want to taste you so bad daddy, can I please~”

“Fuck”,

you don’t break eye contact with him as you lick along his v-line.

You make your way down to pepper kisses on his thighs and he shivers a little.

“Please daddy, it’ll feel so good I pinky promise”, you smile.

He slaps your cheek trying to contain his cool.

“You’re such a dirty little slut for me aren’t you?” He says as he slaps your cheek again, this time with his cock.

“Yes daddy only a slut for you mhmm”.

If someone told you that you were going to be slapped by dick today, you would of called bullshit, but here you are and you don’t want to be anywhere else.

“Go on spit on it.”

You bring your face close to his pink tip and spit on it, a string of saliva connecting your lips and his dick—how romantic.

“What a fucking slut, you really want it in your mouth huh princess?”

You nod at him so fast, you give yourself a bit of vertigo. But you don’t care, all you can think about is feeling the weight of his cock on your tongue, finally being able to taste it.

“Open up pretty baby, say ahhh.”

He slaps his cock one, two, three times on your lips and thats all it takes for you to wrap your soft lips around his juicy tip. Lovi’s hips jolt into you at the feeling of your warm mouth, whispering all kinds of curses and praise.

Your eyes close, moaning as you suck gently on the head, savoring the taste of him. You trace your tongue on his slit breathing through your nose, and take your time to fit as much of him as you can.

This apparently was too slow for Lovi’s liking—fucking asshole. He impatiently grabs a fistful of your hair, pushing his cock deeper down your throat, thrusting into your mouth at a rapid pace. The loud gagging noises that come from you are so loud and dirty, it’s almost sinful.

“Mmmm yeah keep sucking baby, just like that, I want you to choke on daddy’s dick ‘til I cum.”

You cant help but moan at his words and feel your pussy get soaked.

Some girls may hate sucking dick, but you looovvveeee choking on Lovi’s cock.

The way his pretty face looks when he furrows his brows, and the way he moans so loudly and desperately makes you fall in love with him all over again. It brings you joy to be worshiping his dick, even if it means losing your breath—literally and metaphorically.

He pulls your hair roughly, removing your mouth completely off his cock, then pushes it all the way down, repeating it a few times.

Lovi feels feral when he sees the bulge he creates down your throat, totally insatiable as he abuses your mouth again and again—fucking into it mercilessly, as if it was your sweet pussy.

You vigorously suck his cock trying to milk out what you’ve needed since the day he left. You drag your nails up his thigh and gently play with his balls coaxing his cum out.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck, just like that don’t stop baby, fuck im cumming”, Lovi says and with the way his dick twitches uncontrollably, you know he’s cumming soon.

After a few more thrusts you feel his warm cum fill up your mouth.

“Mmmmmmmm” you moan as you try to swallow his big load.

“Just like that princess lick it all up, don’t waste a fucking drop”, Lovi says as he pets your hair lovingly.

You don’t break eye contact with him as you swallow everything, even sqeezing the sensitive head softly to milk more cum out. Finally, you take his delicious dick out of your mouth with an audible ‘pop’.

“Thats a good girl, so dirty for me, all mine”

You nod and smile sweetly at him, kissing on his balls and up his shaft. You end the blowjob with a loving kiss on his tip before getting up and sitting on his lap.

Lovi grabs you from the back of your neck and brings you up to his face, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss. He can taste himself on your tongue mixed in with your cherry lipgloss that is now long gone.

“Did I do good daddy? Did you feel good?” You whisper between kisses.

Lovi thinks you look so gorgeous right now, with your swollen lips and teary eyes.

“Of course you did good sweetie, it felt amazing, good girl~”, he reassures as he brushes your cheeks and kisses your forehead.

“Now its your turn, c’mon baby take off your shirt let me see your pretty tits.”

You enthusiastically oblige, thanking yourself for not wearing a bra. You expose your boobs and your nipples harden from the cool temperature in the room, still very sensitive from arousal.

He wasted no time sucking harshly on your nipple while groping and pinching the other. You throw your head back softly moaning in pleasure and pulling him closer to you.

“You like that baby don’t you, you like when I play with you like the dumb toy you are”, he says biting the nipple teasingly before sucking again.

You feel so needy as you rock your hips back and forth on his thigh, “Yes daddy it f-feels soo g-good”

“Thats it angel come lay down, daddy is going to give you a treat.”

You do as he says and wait for further instructions. He gets on his knees and drags you to the edge of the bed effortlessly. Lovi pulls down on your tiny skirt and fingers the noticeably wet spot on your panty.

He slaps your clothed pussy and rubs it to soothe the ache. “Fuckkkk, look at those soaked panties, your so fucking wet and dirty for me, aren’t you sweetie. Just for daddy, right?”

He slaps your pussy more, “Go on say it, who is this little pussy crying for?”

“You daddy only for you! I promise~” you whine craving to have him inside you already. He kisses your thigh before taking your panties off.

“Atta girl, okay open up for me sweetheart.”

Usually you would be embarrassed, but you’re to horny to care at this point.

You open up your legs and tremble in anticipation.

He spreads your pussy open with two thumbs and stares at it like a starved man, like its the one thing that can quench his thirst.

“What a pretty fucking pussy.”

You unconsciously move your hips towards him after hearing his words.

He rubs circles with his thumb against your clit and looks mesmerized by how wet you are.

“Yeah does this feel good baby? How about I put two fingers inside, I need to prep you for my big dick anyways.”

He slips his fingers in easily and moans at the warm wetness of your cunt. He sets a fast pace right off the bat and successfully takes your breath away. Your moan hitches at your throat as tears begin to pool in your eyes. If his fingers make you feel this way, you can’t wait to get dicked down.

“Ohh I love how wet you sound, your gonna cum on my fingers okay love”

“Mhmm yes daddy, I’ll be a good girl for you.”

He picks up his pace and hits the spot that only he could reach with so much speed.

Everything feels so intense as your orgasm builds, but it also feels different from all the times before.

“D-daddyyyy y-your going t-to fast, it feels w-weird”

Lovi slaps your pussy and coos at you while wiping a tear that fell down your face.

“Don’t worry baby, I know what I’m doing, you’re going to feel so good. Trust daddy okay” he says then pecks you on the lips. He doesn’t relent in fingering your pussy loving how wet you sound.

You let out a pornagraphic moan as your orgasm hits you quickly, panting as you feel electric jolts all over your body with how powerful you came.

“Good job baby, oh my god it worked, you fucking squirted, fuckkkk.”

He doesn’t even let you recover as he licks a flat stripe from your hole to your clit. He groans at your taste and he repeats licking and slurping up your juices.

“Fuck baby you taste so fucking good, oh my god.”

Your mouth opens in a silent scream and your back arches off of the bed. Your so sensitive, you don’t know what to do with yourself.

He wraps his lips around your clit and sucks on it while holding eye contact. You admit although your sensitive from squirting, you can’t help but want more of Lovi. You know that your not going to last long with how he deliciously laps at your cunt.

“Yes daddy just like that, suck my clit just like that.”you moan wantonly as you pull him closer by his hair.

He moans when you grind your pussy against his face desperately. He suddenly buries his tongue deep into your hole, tongue-fucking your pussy with his nose perfectly rubbing against your swollen clit.

“Daddy please, please stop I-I want to cum on your dick please let me cum on your dick.”

“No princess, cum on my tongue first”, “But I—"

He slaps your ass and grabs your face with the hand that was drenched in your juices.

“Hey, listen to me, you’re going to be a good fucking whore and do as I say, okay.” He doesn’t let you respond and physically nods your head for you with his hand and sticks two fingers in your mouth.

You immediately taste yourself and moan sucking and licking everything up.

“Now suck on them just like that and let me enjoy my meal.”

Your eyes roll to the back of your head feeling the way he slurps at your pussy, like he was trying to engulf your whole cunt into his mouth.

All you could do was moan loudly and borderline scream at the intensity of the way your poor pussy was being assaulted with his mouth—fingers doing almost nothing to quiet you down.

Was bro always such a fucking munch? Holy moly!

Lovi swears that your pussy was a necessity that he needed in order to live a long, healthy life. It was like breathing air, drinking water, eating food—and by the way you were yapping incoherently, he knows you feel the same.

He sucks at your clit, moaning and shaking his head from side to side. This is all it takes to throw you over the edge, cumming so hard for him.

You try to push his head away from you to ease the intensity, but he only holds your hands hostage and finishes licking up everything.

He looks up at you so prettily, his spit and your juices glistening on his face. He kisses your clit three times before coming up and peppering more kisses up your body.

Your body still shakes after feeling the effects of cumming.

“Oh you poor thing, look at you shaking so much. Oh come here, come here”, he coos as you grab at him needingly. He kisses you and you cant help but whimper into mouth, tasting more of yourself on his tongue.

“That was so so good daddy, but its so intense” you whisper against his lips.

“I know princess, I know, but you have one more in you for me right? I need you to stuff you full with my cum.”

You whine, “Can we take a break please, I don’t think I can take it right now.”

“No, no breaks sweetheart, you can take it baby, I know you can”, he sits up and pats his leg “C’mere, sit on daddys cock”.

You don’t bother questioning him again as you know how persistent he can be. You somehow find the energy to straddle his waist. And even though your drained, you look at him fondly, holding his chin up to kiss him sweetly. Its not daddy or his little girl anymore, it’s just you and Lovi.

“I missed you so much baby, it was torture without you.”

Lovi nuzzles into you hand, “I missed you so much too, I don’t know how I survived without my princess for so long. I will never do it again if I can help it.”

You kiss him again and rub your nose against his affectionately. You smile at him expectantly and say, “Can you spit in my mouth please?”

You open your mouth and feel as he spits a good amount of saliva on your tongue.

You then spit all of it onto his cock, stroking it up and down and up and down. You tease the both of you by sliding the head from your clit to your entrance a few times before bracing yourself.

You push down on his huge dick and moan in unison as you take just the tip.

“I can never get used to you, fuck your so big Lovi”, you say trying to savor the moment and not fall apart just yet.

“I know baby, but you can do it darling, you can take it all for me like you’ve done so many times before.”

You nod determined to cum on his cock after so long. “You’re right I can do it, just hold me close okay. I need you so much.”

Lovi holds your waist, aiding you along as you slowly bottom out. His eyes roll to the back of his head at the tight grip of your walls.

“Mmmm I’m so full”, you whine and you begin moving your hips. Getting used to his size, you begin to bounce on his fat cock, setting a slow and steady pace.

“Yeah ride my dick just like that sweetie, just how you know I like it.”

You begin to pick up your pace, not being able to resist how horny you were. You wrap your arms around Lovi’s neck and throw your head back.

He takes advantage of this and leaves hungry, open-mouthed kisses on the column of your neck and breasts. He bites, licks and sucks the skin there until he’s satisfied with the bruises he makes. You’re no better than him, leaving deep scratch marks on his chest, down his arms and back—almost everywhere you put your hands on really.

You love marking and claiming ownership of each other. You don’t think theres ever been a moment where you guys didn’t have evidence of the love and fun you guys engage in almost daily.

“Oh my god, who’s my pretty girl hm?” He groans into your chest, “You ride daddy’s cock so good, can you go faster, mi amor? Go faster for daddy love.”

You whine, feeling fatigued already, “I’m trying daddy, I really am, but I’m getting tired.”

“Aww, my pathetic little baby is getting weak isn’t she, it’s okay sweetheart just hold onto me I will take care of everything.”

Lovi smacks your ass hard and aggressively spits on your pussy, thrusting up into you at an unbelievable speed. You scream Lovi’s name so loud you’re sure that the neighbors will file a complaint, but you don’t give a fuck.

He guides your hips and hits your g-spot repeatedly again showing no mercy, and all you could was take it.

“Oh my god! Fuck mmmmm Lovilovilovilovilovi pleasedontstoppleasedontstoppleasedontstop”, you say along with other incoherent ramblings.

Fat tears fall down your face, feeling everything at once. You pull him by his hair and give im a sloppy, heated kiss to try to quiet yourself down, but to no avail when he reaches down and rubs deliciously at your clit.

“Lovi I’m gonna cum, it’s too much!” you moan as you desperately cling to him.

He slaps you and grabs your face, “Hey, look at me we’re going to cum together okay”, you try to concentrate as more tears fall, but nod your head nonetheless.

“Good, on the count of ten okay, 1…2…3…,” he counts, punctuating every number with a thrust. “Fuck, I’m cumming nghhh.”

You shake as you cum with him walls clenching and unclenching tightly, and you realize you squirted again.

“Mmmm look at that pretty fucking pussy, weeping just for daddy” He says slapping your clit.

You feel so full of his cock and warm cum. You swear in this moment you are the happiest girl in the world.

“Look at that big fucking load spilling out, here let me fuck it back in to you” he says as he takes deep strokes up.

“Fuck that feels good huh? My cute little cumslut. You’re so fucking pretty, mhm with this pretty little pussy.”

You can’t even think straight as your mind is blank and your body, tired. You love giving yourself to him fully and he never disappoints.

“Aww does my baby feel too brain dead to respond.”

“Shut up, you just slutted me the fuck out, leave me alone.” He laughs and you laugh with him.

When the laughter dies down, you look at him. He has this lovesick look on his face that you cannot help but mirror. You brush his hair out of his face and look at his pretty blue eyes, “Lovi, I love you, I’m glad you’re back.” You smile at him fondly, tracing his perfect lips, “You can never leave me ever again, got it? It was so lonely and horrible without you, a zero star experience, I don’t recommend.”

He chuckles leaning in to scatter kisses all over your face. “I wouldn’t dream of it princess, your just a baby, only my baby, I love you”, he says kissing your puffy lips.

You notice how dark the room is and can’t believe that you’ve been going at it for so long. You lay your head on his chest and sigh with happiness. “Can we stay just like this, I want to cockwarm you.”

He smacks your ass playfully, “Of course we can cutie, anything you want.”

You snuggle closer to him and kiss his chest, “Okay, good nighty Lovi, I’m happy your finally home babe.”

“Good night pretty girl, I’m glad to be back home, I love you.” he says in his cute sleepy voice.

He kisses your forehead and you both drift off into deep sleep.

FIN!

#Lovi #im so freaking shy I’ve never written something like this before so ummm yeahhh #sorry if theres any mistakes #enjoy #ahhhhh

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respondedinkind · 5 months

Text

Headcanon: Aging (Alien Verse)

Khan ages differently than humans do, and it's actually a bit complicated to explain, so to make it easier I will try to 'translate' the way he ages into human years.

BRIEF, ROUGH SUMMARY: Khan ages a LOT slower than humans in general, but ages much quicker as a child.

Ok, a bit more general info first, though: The planet Khan (original name: Ka'anh) comes from has a different day / night- as well as year-circle than earth; On top of that, Khan's race was bred to make them grow fast but remain constant for a while after reaching a certain 'age stage', which means that Khan's childhood was over quick and he stays within the certain 'age range' the longest before his body will shift into the 'elder' stage and, ultimately, die because of old age. Very few of his kind, however, ever reach that stage - especially within the military, most of them die sooner because of the wars they're fighting in, meant to give their lifes in return for bringing honor to the upper class & emperors.

Now, to the 'translated' parts - a rough 'timeline' of how Khan's kind (and therefore Khan himself) ages, as well as how education and training works (shown here as an example for the ones who are meant to become elite soldiers). The first number tells his actual age (how many earth years have passed with him existing) while the second number shows his development stage (mental age / physical age)):

They all start out as newborns, as most species do. They are born at about the same development stage as human babies are, so there's no real difference between him and humans. However, from there on, they grow rapidly:

1 year = about 2.5 yrs old (mental / physical development), age of starting the equivalent of preschool and basic education 3 years = about 5 yrs old (mental / physical development), age of starting the equivalent of elementary school and continuation of basic education + added basic military training 4 years = about 8 yrs old (mental / physical development), continuation of the equivalent of elementary school and start of advanced education + advanced military training / drilling 6 years = about 14 yrs old (mental / physical development), age of starting the equivalent of high school and high-level education + high-level military training / drilling 7 years = about 16 yrs old (mental / physical development), considered an adult, end of school period, start of all-day training and adult military education / drilling; Will be send to war for the first time 8 years = about 18 yrs old (mental / physical development), ongoing expert-level adult military education + training / drilling, start of testing-period, said tests need to be passed in order to proceed; Gets send out to war on the regular, becomes an 'official' soldier (lowest rank) 10 years = about 23-25 yrs old (mental / physical development), expert-level adult military training resumes, education happening in between whenever needed, more tests have to be passed; Going to war and conquering entire planets with their assigned division whenever needed (middle rank) 13 years = about 28-30 yrs old (mental / physical development), schedule remains the same as for the previous age section, promotion possible (higher rank) 17 years = about 33-36 yrs old (mental / physical development), the testing-period comes to an end and the last tests need to be passed in order to continue. Ongoing specialized military training + drilling, ongoing wars and missions to conquer planets 19 years = about 36-40 yrs old (mental / physical development), with aging now reaching its momentary peak and slowing down significantly. One final test has to be passed in order to continue; If tests are passed, the subject will reach highest rank (elite soldier). If tests are failed, the subject's life will come to an end at this stage

Khan is currently somewhere within this life-stage, as he has fled his planet right after failing his last test, which makes him about 19 earth years (36 - 40 yrs mental / physical age) old.

The aging process after that looks about something like this:

80 years old = about 40 - 45 yrs old (mental / physical development) 120 years old = about 50 - 55 yrs old (mental / physical development) 140 years old = about 60 - 70 yrs old (considered 'elderly' from this stage) (mental / physical development) 170+ years old = about 70 - open end yrs old (mental / physical development)

As one can see, once a certain stage of age has been 'overcome', the aging process itself will speed up a bit again before an individual of Khan's kind then, at some point, dies naturally.

In conclusion, it means that Khan will most likely become at least 170 earth years old (with it being the most lowest age he could possibly become; Chances are very high he will reach, and possibly exceed, 200 years), if he doesn't end up being fatally injured before it happens. With his body possessing incredibly efficient self-healing abilities, he most likely won't die of any illnesses or diseases that oftentimes affect humans in later age stages. With him aging the way he does, it also means his appearance won't change much in between the age of 19 and 80. As an example: If he were to have a human partner, said partner would, obviously so, certainly look like they're elderly at the age of 80, while Khan still appears to be around 40 years old by then.

#alienheadcanons #(THIS TOOK SO LONG TO WRITE OMG)#(and i am worried it might not be easy to understand LOL)#(but this is precious to me especially in comparison to how humans age so i had to write it down)#(because i keep thinking of him falling in love and watching his loved one age and die while he himself... doesnt change much ;; MY HEART.#(if someone were to read this it would make my day honestly haha but i understand its A LOT of text omg.)#(if theres any grammar / spelling mistakes im sorry ;; )

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