The honkai does not fucking do that

I lied I think it’s fun to draw animals sometimes

im sure its been said already but as the election draws near more and more liberals will come out of the woodwork to shame people with a conscience to give away their vote to the democrats for free. i'm already seeing posts saying "why aren't people more concerned about a trump presidency?" you want to know why? it's because people already know he's bad. everyone already knows what he is and what he's done and what he'll do. there's nothing to discuss. he's a racist despotic worm of a man. there's nothing else to say.

biden is currently president. the genocide is happening under his watch. he's the one funding isra*l and arming them; he's sidestepped congress more than once to give them weapons. by oct. 27, the biden administration already knew that "Israel was regularly bombing buildings without solid intelligence that they were legitimate military targets." the state department/biden have engaged in atrocity propaganda, cast doubt on the legitimacy of the death toll recorded by the gaza health ministry, and so on. the united states is currently in the process of trying to pin the "war in gaza" on netanyahu (see sen. schumer's speech) after months of backing blatant genocide as a means to act as if they're "doing something" about the genocide (Instead of, say, threatening to cut off all aid to israel with the condition that all hostilities in gaza, the west bank, and occupied jerusalem are halted immediately and permanently, allowing palestinians freedom to travel, allowing aid into gaza, etc etc etc.)

the long and short of it is that liberals view their own lives as being worth more than palestinians'. that's it. they'll vote for another 4 years of the guy ushering in genocide and supporting apartheid + settler colonialism because he isn't outright attacking them (despite various laws and rulings happening both at the supreme court level and at the local level all over the country that will endanger people). they'll settle for the illusion of safety and security and shame anyone with a conscience and accuse them of "supporting the republicans" when in an actual democracy you would be able to use your vote as leverage to extract concessions from those who want to be elected. that's how it's supposed to fucking work.

democrats are not owed people's vote. if biden loses, it will be biden's fault; it will be his campaign's fault; it will be the democrats' fault. trump is bad; the republicans are bad. we already know this. this is not an endorsement of either. but if democrats are too cowardly and feckless and servile to the motivations of the american empire and never do anything for their constituents then why the fuck should anyone vote for them. you want to get mad at someone, why don't you do something useful and stop worrying about team-sports with a purely selfish basis and start hounding the people in power who are supposed to serve you, the voter.

Okay I know this is referring to a very specific phenomenon but takes like this still PISS ME THE FUCK OFF. Screenshot below.

STOP FUCKING MAKING OTHER PEOPLE'S EXPERIENCE OF AND APPROACH TO THEIR ILLNESS ABOUT YOU.

Screenshot end.

[Image ID: two screenshots of a tumblr post which reads: ive been on tumblr a long time and i remember when everyone said "oh don't romanticize mental illness" and it was agreed that doing that was gross and a good way to kill people indirectly

but somehow we've come full circle and there are people who legit defend their right to be anti-recovery there are people who don't want to get better and spread the idea that you can't get better as if it's gospel and it's fucking frightening to me bc nobody seems to want to say "hey? this is toxic and untrue and is your disease speaking, and it's not something you should accept."

and i feel like every recovery post gets about 500 of these people saying "this isn't something that will work" "cool karen i'm depressed" "maybe it worked for you but it won't work for other people" and that's... just... im so sorry if you're 15. i'm sorry if you're in high school and watching grown adults tell you it doesn't get better. that nobody says that with time and help and patience the world stops being so heavy, that accepting your illness as a fact is one thing but accepting it as the only way to be is just wrong, that you can learn to live with it and still find some degree of "happy".... if i had seen this shit back when i was ... oh god starting at 12 when i was already self-harming .... i think i'd have actually honest-to-god killed myself. not a joke, not a funny tumblr punchline, i would have actually just killed myself.

i'm saying this right here and right now to the adults on this site. if you for any reason shoot down positivity that's causing no harm - you might have indirectly worsened someone else's condition, and you should try and do better in the future. if you find it necessary to tell people "recovery is a lie", you need to do better. i know everyone has different circumstances, but i also know that mental illness behaves in such a way that everyone thinks they can't recover. if you feel like you should be spreading the Word Of Relapse, you are causing toxic language to be normalized and you need to do better.

im team "cool karen ive got depression and that means i'm going to try this because i've got to try something" i'm team "romanticize recovery" i'm team "it isn't working now but it might in the future and it's worth staying to find out” im team “hey this didn't work for me but it might help somebody else out"

fuck guys it shouldn't be an unpopular opinion to say "i don't want any of you to die". /end ID]

Stop denying the autonomy of mentally ill and mad people and saying "this is just your mental illness speaking and if you think this you need to be forced to recover for your own good"!!! You're a huge fucking ableist if you do this! It's something I've fucking accepted because constantly fighting against it was causing me MORE HARM than learning to live as a person with mental illness, fuck off!

Some people genuinely can't recover! Get this, some people have MORE SEVERE mental or physical illness than you. How is this fucking different than saying "[medication] or [treatment regimen] made my MCAS/POTS go into complete remission, so why are you still experiencing anaphylactic episodes despite trying every possible intensive treatment/med?"

(I try to only use examples I have personal experience with whenever possible to avoid unintentional ableism. This one is especially apt though as depression and most mental illnesses are not an acute injury, but rather a chronic illness. Remission is possible for some people. At least currently, a "cure" isn't, and recovery is usually closer to management than complete healing. Ofc not all injuries can heal either, but I think it's more apt to compare apples to apples here.)

Also, depression isn't the only mental illness, double fuck off!

Get this, I know my own needs and my own brain and my own illness better than you, triple fuck off!

Like yes, don't shit on positivity posts. In the same way anti-recovery posts aren't for everyone, if a recovery positivity post isn't for you, just move on. Filter or block if you need to.

That being said, there's a difference between positivity posts and posts that say "recovery/this aspect of recovery is mandatory". That kind of "positivity" IS causing harm. Stating "hey this isn't mandatory for recovery and recovery itself is optional, do what helps you most even if that means remaining mentally ill" isn't fucking "spreading the Word of Relapse".

Also "maybe it worked for you but it won't work for everyone" is quite literally not an attack and CERTAINLY not anti-recovery. There isn't a single recovery tool on the PLANET that will work for everyone. That's just a fucking fact.

All I can think of when I see this is that OP probably reblogged that post that basically said "you need to brush your teeth, if you don't you're harming yourself and are therefore a Bad Person, and if you can't, you can actually and are basically just refusing to recover out of laziness I mean because you're not trying hard enough I mean because you don't want to and your poor mental health is basically therefore your fault." Because yes, that was the implication of that post.

Refusing to acknowledge that people can be disabled enough BY ANY ILLNESS to not be able to recover isn't actually helping mentally ill people.

Like, even setting aside that I literally romanticize my mental illnesses as a healthy coping mechanism (signed off on by my therapist, in case you only believe people certified by the oppressive institution known as psychiatry), even setting aside that I have mental illnesses that can't be cured and that I don't want treated in part or in whole (I don't want meds or therapy for my schizophrenia, I only want to achieve functional multiplicity with my DID, as examples)...

It's not "spreading the idea that you can't get better" to acknowledge that SOME people can't get better. First of all, fucking curate your own online experience. Second of all, me saying I will never live without severe anxiety, as one example, is exactly the same as me saying I'll never be able to navigate the world without a mobility aid. It's fucking acknowledging my material reality. It's better for ME to stop wasting all my energy on the stuff that I either fully can't do or that hurts me to try to do and focus on what PERSONALLY makes my quality of life better, even if it makes me MORE ILL.

Finally, even if someone CAN recover, they don't fucking owe you that! There is no moral imperative for them to recover! If them choosing to continue to be mentally ill (by which this post only means depression, but even then), is triggering to you, that's a fucking you problem.

Give people the tools to recover, but forced recovery is inherently a form of violence because it violates a person's autonomy! Why don't you focus on building a society where the social conditions responsible for a good portion of depression are simply gone instead of yelling at mentally ill disabled people on the internet who make choices about their own illness that you don't like?

And stop fucking saying "if you make a decision I disagree with, it's your mental illness speaking and you're not actually capable of recognizing that or of making your own decisions (and therefore need "rescuing")"!!!

That's the justification used for institutionalization and psychiatric abuse.

That's the reason so many psychotic people who are not harming anyone have their psychosis forcibly suppressed via nonconsensual medication. (And quite honestly, even for those few that are causing harm, there are other options besides "lose all autonomy" and "be harmfully medicated into an approximation of a sanist concept of normalcy that is actually just drugging someone into docile compliance". Make no mistake, antipsychotics themselves are not inherently harmless and DO require informed consent. Though I am all for their usage by people who DO grant noncoerced informed consent; I'm not anti-med, I'm pro-consent.

It's not "normalizing toxic language" to literally argue for mad liberation and respecting the autonomy of mentally ill people. To say "I actually know my own self and experiences best and can therefore say this is not coming from the mental illness" or EVEN "it is coming from the mental illness, but I am still capable of making the decision to choose this anyway, because mental illness does not make me inherently incapable of consent" (yes, even if it causes the brain to be in an altered state, stop with that paternalistic bullshit), isn't something you need to "do better" about.

Fuck off.

Another thing: why do these posts ALWAYS go hand in hand with childism. It's a bunch of "15 years olds being hurt by the meanie adults who say they can't get better" and "toxic evil adults harming kids by teaching them that it's okay to make peace with being unhealthy because what's best for people isn't universal and our idea of recovery is very rigid anyway as proven by the idea that accepting your mental illness as it is isn't recovery".

I see you, 15 year olds who ARE mentally ill and are writing about mad liberation and anti-recovery and are wildly more capable and coming up with ideas in those veins that are blowing us all out of the water. For what it's worth, I'm proud of you, and my only wish for you is that you find the peace, whatever that means, that is best for you.

Just...

"if I had read this at 12 I would have actually killed myself" I'm glad you didn't, then, but that doesn't mean the sentiment shouldn't exist.

If anti-recovery isn't for you, that's fine. What's not fine is acting like it's inherently harmful and is a form of violence against every mentally ill person ever. Because many of us have been harmed by a culture that is "pro-recovery" and its logical extreme, forced recovery.

hi. have my current mtp thoughts.

the moriarty siblings genuinely devastate me what the fuck. albert, who’s ridden by remorse since the day he committed his ‘original sin’, who feels his mere existence burdens william, who sees their relationship as his selfish desire and thus remains guilty for years.

and then william, who tries to carry all their sins alone, for he doesn’t want to drag albert or louis with him, even though they’re a team. he is so kind, shockingly so when you compare it to the crimes he’s committed, and he carries his sins until he can’t bear it, and EVEN THEN!! even then he only lets albert see him like this because while they’re not blood brothers, they’re bonded by their shared crime. AND YET. and yet william sees his own vulnerability as a burden on albert’s shoulders, and thinks he should’ve kept it hidden, just to ease his conscience.

and thats not even mentioning LOUIS!! [head in hands] he stays in his brothers’ shadows this whole time, simply following their plans or taking care of the mansion. and yet he’s just as capable as his brothers. AND HE LOVES THEM SO MUCH. they protect him so much but all he wants is for them to take care of themselves, and he KNOWS they’re sinking under the weight of their responsibility but he isnt ever able to reach them. and when the final plan comes in, he can’t follow through. ARGH!!!

u know what. the group dynamic made me emo too. the way none of them wanted william to die, that all of them knew there was another way, but william felt that that was the only way he can atone to his sins. that it was his destiny set since the day he was born. and they all reacted so differently—louis and fred went to sherlock for help (and when you remember that louis was ready to eliminate sherlock the moment he was no longer useful to william, it makes that moment all the more better. because thats when you (and louis too) realise that sherlock isnt a pawn in the game, never was, and instead hes a friend. and a friend was who william needed at his lowest). there was moran who couldnt bear his own betrayal (it isnt betrayal. it was his heart.) and swore his life to carrying on william’s legacy. and albert who fell back into the shadows that he once was in before meeting the others.

do u ever think how william is so shrouded in darkness and his crimes and everything. and yet he was everyone’s light. how sherlock was london’s beacon of hope, but to the lord of crime group, it was william. to sherlock, it was william. to everyone who knew him well, william was their sunshine. HEAD IN HANDS

and sherliam’s dynamic. you werent just a pawn in my game, william says. you werent just a puzzle for me to solve, sherlock says. the words you’re a friend, you mean more to me than i ever thought, i want to save you, do you feel the same? go unsaid. the game of hide and chase throughout the story. how william’s entire plan, his whole DESTINY, was to die, and how when falling off the bridge together, sherlock tells him to live. let’s live together, he says. cling onto life, cling onto the people around you, we love you, don’t go. and that care is what surprised william the most—sherlock came as a friend, he feels the same.

the way sherliam are equals in every sense, yet different, yet the same. they have the same height and mind and kindness deep in their hearts. william is london’s darkness and sherlock is london’s light. yet william has light hair and sherlock has dark hair—there’s kindness in evil and evil in kindness.

the inherent intimacy of mr. holmes to sherlock to sherly, and professor moriarty to liam. and i think it’s interesting how sherlock skipped to the nickname stage so much faster than william. for it shows that he was more comfortable with the idea of getting close than william was. william remains more guarded, not wanting to drag sherlock into madness (i didnt think he’d kill a man this early), so only in his final moments does he say sherly. only then does he accept it.

anyway. im not even done with the manga LMAO. [on my knees] this story is so well-written and so hurtful and every arc was beautiful but the characters truly hooked me. every one of them and their dynamic is so lovely (i didnt touch on sherlock and john but i LOVE them and the scene of sherlock promising to take better care of himself for john was so great and also he never got to attend john’s wedding and im gonna go cry) and real. sorry if u read through my babbling mess. xoxo 💓

silly celeb au concept sketches (wing photocard next week <3)

+ i have so many thoughts abt this au guys i need to be sedated (don’t open the cut unless u rly want more info bc. there's. A LOT. it will be a wall of incoherent rambling text im sorry)

ok first disclaimers: i know very little abt idols and even less abt modeling so!! if anything is horrifically inaccurate forgive me im stupid!! and also this will literally be stream of consciousness unedited so if it makes zero sense im very sorry

now we begin the madness

some background info: kite was scouted off the street (as he was walking off from pickpocketing someone LMAO) for his height and build, currently very sought after to model for many brands because he’s literally the same as the sketch models on paper so the designers don’t have to compromise on their clothing designs to fit the model, bc he just. looks exactly like the paper sketch. also the white hair is very distinctive!! and his prep/management team is his research team <3 he’s currently the face of several brands, including the zoldyck brand (i see the zoldycks as a very influential family in the fashion/modeling industry, kikyo was a former model until an accident, now she’s focusing on designing, all the kids are involved in the industry somehow, illumi is within the same agency (?is that how modeling works) as kite). he’s in his mid-twenties ish and hes 6'3" - 6'4" (190 - 193 cm)

wing and his idol group debuted a couple years ago (haven’t thought too much about the members, but im thinkin feitan maybe? kurapika?? shalnark?? idk guys maybe he’s a solo act) and they’ve skyrocketed to fame. uhh in terms of content they produce, thinkin something similar to wayv/bts type music (stuff that crowds just eat up LOL like love talk by wayv, luna by oneus that kind of music) and im thinking that wing’s debut look was REALLY BAD (they made the poor man blond) but when they put him back to his normal hair color he got rly popular. he’s had some bad eras where the stylists made him look a little goofy but… he’s good now (his best era was the mullet era). also he was trained by bisky who was a former idol who has retired and she's a legend in the industry… and wing is currently guiding an idol trainee (zushi lol). wing’s in his early-mid-twenties i think and he's 5'9" - 5'10" (175 - 178 cm)

ok and the main 4 fit into this uhh... i think gon is also an idol trainee along w zushi. and killua is currently modeling for a popular teen's clothing brand. i think i mentioned kurapika as being a part of wing's idol group but lowk i think maybe he's an actor instead. leorio is also. an actor. yeah ok there we go

uhhhh ok general thoughts:

i see them meeting at like.. the met gala or its equivalent and they meet when wing trips over kite’s clothes (he’s wearing something with a ridiculously long train and wing isn’t looking where he’s going), and at first wing thinks kite is super standoffish/rude bc he doesn’t apologize or offer a hand when wing trips… he just.. sorta stares at him on the floor for a second then clacks off in his very pointy shoes (he was flustered abt the very pretty stranger who just fell for over him. also he was STRESSED asf) (also the perspective that wing had probably didn't help bc bro was on the floor and kite was staring down at him from a height of like 6'9 with the heels)

afterwards there’s a bunch of pictures and edits of wing falling over all over the internet bc it was kind of funny… and ppl are telling him like “oh my god you tripped over yorknew’s top model the LITERAL FACE of fashion right now” and wing is like “damn i didn’t know also he’s a jerk”… and to kite ppl r telling him “oh my god the country’s MOST POPULAR IDOL tripped on you” and kite’s like “uhhh.. who?” (he doesn’t keep up with the entertainment industry despite being a part of it) and they both search each other up and they both have a moment like “oh my god i fucked up (also he's really hot)”

anyways they continue randomly (not at all random very much orchestrated by the people around them) meeting at things,,, there’s a very awkward apology from kite where he explains (sortof) why he didn’t help wing up… uhh stuff happens they fall in love and start dating LOL (i didnt think abt this part that hard) and for a hot minute there r paparazzi photos circulating of them together and the media is losing their collective shit

fast forward a little bit and they r like “yea we r together LOL” and then u start seeing kite at wing’s concerts in a spectator box staring very lovingly at wing on the stage and wing (and sometimes his whole idol group) starts showing up to fashion shows and wing looks like shellshocked every time kite steps onto the catwalk hes got kind of an awed stare on his face

ok future thoughts:

after abt two? ish years dating (engaged for 6 months out of those 2 yrs) they have an extremely private wedding with only close friends invited, and when ppl start noticing theyre wearing wedding bands (takes a while bc wing usually wears a lot of rings anyways, and kite wears his on a necklace and not on his hand) the media has a collective meltdown. again. (i am the media in this i think. i have meltdowns bc of them.)

um and eventually (around when him and kite get married) wing's idol group splits apart as they all go to pursue individual passions/careers, so now he's workin on his own music/vision. i think his personal music is much more peaceful and vibey than what his old group produced, more gentle love songs and poetic music and whatnot.

and kite steps out of the spotlight and is focusing on nature conservation philanthropy type stuff,, so he'll still step out and model for charity/fundraiser type stuff and he's the face of a large conservation foundation. (also bc sometimes he'll join like.. ocean cleanup initiatives or similar things and like. imagine ur volunteering to pick up garbage on the beach and u literally see like. anya taylor joy and her husband also out there picking up garbage or smthn. that's how the other ppl feel.) hes also a big advocate for no kill shelters and donates a shitload to them i like to think.

so yeah ok if u made it this far bless u!!! i dont really have any coherent storyline thoughts just this aggregation of random world building thoughts ok bye (btw if u have thoughts on this feel free to dm me abt them or tell me what u think in the replies or tags im brain rotting abt this stupid au so hard rn)

anyways im no writer (if u couldnt alr tell from this word vomit) so no fic but i may continue churning out thought fragments like this

*(Stumbles through the door so quickly I trip and fall on my face)*

Hello! I’ve started ‘03 pretty recently (like, within the past two weeks or so) and I have been enjoying it immensely! I’m currently on about early-to-mid season 4

I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on the show! For starters, who’s your favourite character(s)?

oh my stars I LOVE SEASON 4 it's like. my favorite season of TMNT03, mostly bc of Leo since he is. my favorite in TMNT03 lmfao

tbh it's kind of hard to pick a favorite?? mostly bc i IMMENSELY enjoy all of the brothers in this iteration, similar to Rise, but i gotta admit that i always had a slight penchant for Mikey in almost all TMNT iterations – except the 07 movie and Bayverse (Bayverse Donnie my beloved). anyway. i enjoy the dynamic of the boys SO MUCH in 03, like, it's duking it out with Rise for first place in my heart, i just love it that much. they have SO much sibling energy, especially Mikey and Raph, the way they hurl insults at each other is fucking HILARIOUS bc Raph always goes for Mikey's intelligence (or lack thereof in his opinion) meanwhile Mikey just gleefully says Raph is butt-ugly AND STICKS TO IT. LIKE HIS GO TO INSULT FOR RAPH IS TO CALL HIM UGLY IDK WHY THATS SO DAMN FUNNY TO ME AJHHJD.

also i just really like how there isnt really a whole singular duo dynamic in 03 bc i remember in 12 they had this Team A and Team B thing going on, which i wasnt a huge fan of. the boys get to mix it up pretty regularly and i enjoy their different dynamics so much, such as Raph & Donnie (the twinsies) and Leo & Mikey (big bro & lil bro combo). dont even get me started on the characterisation; 12 Donnie really left a bad mark on him bc the writers bungled him up so much, and while i adore Mad Scientist Donnie in Rise, there is something so endearing about gentle and soft-spoken nerd Donnie in 03 (and Bayverse). Raph really gets to show off his more protective side in this iteration too, which i LOVE!! and everyone knows i have a huge bias for Mikey and i absolutely adore him here bc while im a fan of lil baby bro Mikey (12 and Rise) i fucking love how much more boyish and innocently insensitive he is in 03, like yeah thats a teenage boy who would sneak out to attend a rowdy party LMAO. 12 also kind of made me dislike Leo a little (again. what were the writers thinking especially with KARAI HIS SISTER??) but i loved him in Rise, so again, i was surprised that i LOVE 03 Leo, who's a lot more traditional but also has super endearingly dorky moments. and s4 Leo is just. [SCREAMS].

yeah im so normal about TMNT03 i promise i promise im so normal yeah you can stick your hand into the bars of my cage haha i wont do anything i promise im normal–

im so fucking mad!!! i hated being a college student because i was a college student and currently im the oldest person on my catering team AT a university and im the only one that gets mistaken for a student worker!!!! i get asked so often fuck you!!!! im like 1-6 years older than everyone 😭😭 am i too bubbly to seem weathered? 😭

https://www.tumblr.com/dez-wade/733441926321373184/im-going-to-be-100-honest-as-glad-as-i-am-about

Yeah I honestly think last night really was an eye opener for a lot of players and viewers about how the current system is just not sustainable if they want the event to be enjoyable for players for the full two weeks.

I also agree 100% about the rule and guidelines of an event being released to the players so that they can keep referring back to it if needed or double check things as they go because there’s been a lot of instances (especially for blue) of them constantly needing and asking for clarification because the system keeps fucking them over.

On fit’s stream rn he’s taking about changes that have been made to make sure what the players who are on earlier do is useful and counts which I’m so so happy about. It’s just not fair for the European streamers to have to stay up until 4am if they want to feel like they’ve helped and contributed to a team win. I’m really glad that the ccs spoke up about what was negatively impacting their enjoyment of the game and the wonderful team behind it have listened and taken that in to account. It’ll be interesting to see how this new system/changes work over the next few days!

Yes! Sometimes we gotta trust the CCs will make their complaints known and that Quackity and the admins will do the best to make it enjoyable to everyone.

There's probably a lot of cheesing strategy they'd figure in the next few days, and hopefully the admins will keep balancing accordingly.

We also should be very conscious that some teams will take advantage of dirty tactics until it's not illegal as seen yesterday. And try not to get too mad about it despite being super frustrating.

abandon all hope ye who enter here

with that out of the way, hey im argent (or kaster) but you can call me literally anything you want to. god's strongest mobile phighter🙏 i am a weird tumblr transsexual (he/him) of the aroace kind. i also have autism, adhd and aspd (oooo scaryyy) and there's a lot of other unidentifiable things wrong with me( but we stay silly).

i post about a lot of things but i especially like homestuck, phighting, animator vs animation, splatoon, team fortress 2, lobotomy corporation (ill play ruina once the initial brainrot is over) and madness combat

art is under #kaster's art tag, ramblings are under #kaster's asylum diary

fandom tags are standard aside from #ava/avm tag

cringe but free

terfs, truscums and zionists explode challenge. this is not a safe space for you

i support all good faith identities so don't bring that discourse shit on my blog. we all here to fuck unless we aint

currently not tagging any triggers but if you want me to then just ask

i am a faggot

(edited on dec 9 2023 because i wanted to add shiny pretty colours. oooo)

(edited on jan 16 2024 to add an art tag incase anyone wants to actually find it)

(edited on apr 6 2024 because my dear mutual turned out to be a zionist scumbag. at least finally i dont have to be sexually harrassed in my discord dms by them every 15 minutes)

i dont have polls yet but i feel like it's time to start taking bets:

which member of clan oak-swallows-garcia will be the anchor of anger?

lark, the obvious answer

sparrow, the also obvious but imo a bit more interesting answer

henry, my preferred candidate but an unlikely one as that would involve will either pulling double-character-duty or handing the reins over to anthony. which is possible, just logistically tricky

barry, a long shot as he's just way too smug, but it would be a nice callback to henry's "you've been mad every day of your life" callout from the oakvale arc

hildy, who, like henry, has experienced profound betrayal by her own son and i can defs see harbouring resentment and anger from beyond the grave

hero's the dark horse here and i would LOVE to get a deeper dive into her emotional state and whether she carries anger the way, well. everyone else in her fucking family does. but she's a long shot at the moment with her current p shallow characterization

out of Team Married Into This Mess, autumn is the most likely candidate, mercedes (who watched her family destroy itself over one bad card draw) would be the most interesting, but is too powerful and well-adjusted to be consumed by her anger, and rebecca's just... rebecca. i dont think she cares enough about anything to get mad, which is probably why both the twins were so drawn to her in the first place come to think of it.

anyways, i'm already hella stoked for the anger arc even tho im one hundo p wrong about all of this

every few days i see hockey(?) liveblogs from you (I enjoy the enthusiasm even if i have no idea whats going on). What are the main teams you're following? is it just hockey?

this is so sweet, thank you for the support even if youre a little lost! it is just hockey! but i got plans to get into baseball when it starts in february (go pirates and cubs!) but a little too wordy vomit under the cut about my teams :)

my top team is pittsburgh penguins. for better or worse (and usually worse)—i will be there for every game and saying we're so back after one score when we're down by 5. i will defend them until my last breath, theyre the team ill always put on when having to choose between which ones are currently on. its not a hockey team, its sidney crosby building an ice family with his 5 and counting partners and being known for his banana bread and kind heart and fat ass while literally being the inspiration for over half the players in the nhl because hes been wonderful since he was a rookie. its 18 years of love and friendship despite the odds and how theyre so open in loving and supporting their teammates while hockey culture is filled with toxic masculinity. its the narrative loving and hating us, its sidney being gods most loveable and tortured lamb, its geno whos hilarious and dramatic with a heart of gold, its tanger and his greasy hair, its the babygirlifying grown men AND rooting for the old underdog who are in the 4th spot for the playoffs in their metro area despite our powerplay being a joke and our star players ages (late thirties isnt old by any account but for a high energy physical contact sport?? average retirement is 25-30 instead while 13 of our guys is 30+ and playing some of their best hockey)

after that i really like the leafs despite them being the leafs! theyre a blast to watch (sometimes) and theyre a big third period game, for better or worse. so its always exciting (sometimes unfortunately)! auston matthews is my top favorite from them, hes absolutely remarkable and doesnt get the credit and appreciation he deserves. but i also love the other players, mo, willy, and mitch all especially have a place in my heart :) third fav tosses around with who i can catch a game from most to be honest since a lot of times they overlap too much. im fond of the wild because their goaltender (flower!) was ours for forever. kraken is a blast and has lots of old penguin players too. avalanche is fun to root for when ive seen some games :) im less familiar with all of them but hockey is a fun sport to just throw yourself into and learn as you go so its never been an issue!!

teams i hate is anyone who won against my special guys in the last month tbh HFIFJ but i REALLY hate the chicago team, flyers, and vegas knights. chicago is.... a lot of bad shit off ice and has so many controversies—from their name and jerseys to players being abusive and cover-ups of sexual assault from coaches. just hate them and anytime i see those jerseys and remember theyre allowed while flower was threatened with a lawsuit if he wore his helmet (was designed specially by an indigenous artist to honor flower's indigenous wife and their kids during native american heritage month).... god i just get too pissed, theyre number one for who i despise. flyers are the biggest rivals to the penguins so it makes more sense (but also fuck the capitals and canes for personal grievances. also still mad at the canucks) vegas golden knights just annoys me so much with how theyre still calling themselves the misfits and i associate them with flower leaving so!!!

sorry for the little. word vomit lol but !!! if you ever want to get into hockey, please dm me! im no expert by any means and i know me throwing names out there is intimidating but i promise its fun once you get into it and you dont need to know much to just start watching! for me its great to have something to look forward to every week and watch something happen as it actually happens and liveblog—it kinda feels more like a loose community experience that i never got because of my health issues and disability! its also just fun to be dramatic (screaming its so over when scored on /celebrating a goal) over something thats kinda... not that important. (important for the players and fans ofc but it doesn't change anything in MY daily life outside of how i feel which is refreshing!) sports in general kinda encourage those big emotional responses and it can be great catharsis and silly if you let it be :) and the fan community here can be so welcoming if you just fully ignore twitter and the straight white angry men on it <3

come look at gifs of people calling a 36 year old babygirl and the excitement of a goal celly. come watch funny videos and clips and at how *our* captain wore tiny little shorts and a white shirt to get dunked in a water tank for charity. come and slowly learn how much shit the players put up with as rookies and have the happiness of hindsight at what happiness their futures would hold and why me saying 18 years of love and friendship despite the odds is so big because thats genuinely so rare (only 127 retired players in all of nhl history has accomplished this). come get emotional at poetry over getty images hockey pictures and relish in the delight that is finding art everywhere you go. come see people say that sidney needs to get knotted up and mpreg debates in who will abort that thang or not. take my hand and become a hockey fan, i prommy its not scary—not even during the 'who the fuck is this' stage <33

Had the weirdest dream about your universe/OCs/idek!!!!!

Somehow me n my partner found a giant egg in the woods. And in this dream I knew all about ur OCs and in my mind I was instantly like „THAT‘S NOAH IN THIS EGG OMG!“. But I could not talk about my knowledge since I was under some kind of spell. Yeah. We took that egg home.

That’s when it got rlly weird lol.

You (in the sense of you running this blog) appeared and knocked on our apartment door. You were dressed like an old druid and were like „I live here now“. And me n my partner were like „weird but okay“. Once again I knew everything and was like „!!!! That‘s Elia!!!! They want to make sure we take care of the egg and protect it!!!!“ but I still couldn’t say something due to the spell. And you made sure to be rlly vage with what you said to us since you also couldn’t drop the entire lore on us due to a spell you were under. And I tried to be like „!!!! My guy!!!! I know everything!!!!“ but it didn’t work.

Then there was this evil cooperation(TM) that somehow found out we found the egg. And they wanted the egg too to turn Noah into a weapon to use against the current ruler of the planet. So you gave us the mission to break into the cooperation‘s HQ and destroy it so that they would stay away and not hurt the egg. My partner n I made it into HQ and found the control room. And right before we pressed the „destruction button“ I woke up.

Hope this silly dream made you smile and you have a speedy recovery <3

noah is EGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fucking wild that you're dreaming abt my ocs i need some of whatever juice you're having <33

also you will be delighted to learn that i do have this au!!!!! kind of. amorphous immortality research setting nickname code:metallia which is so ancient it doesn't even have a tag (it was huge in 2010-14 me's brain from before i oc dumped on here lol) can't overshare bc rsi typing restrictions but the basic setup is. alternate reality where true rulers don't exist and the nerice research team tm is trying to make their own gods. the original plot of it was very tide family centric (jumie gets fridged at the start for once lol) and most of the other immortal-adjacent ocs are in some way being used or created in the process of this research. i haven't actively worked on it since 2014 though and that was pre-moon lore overhaul so i can't say much more abt it here & now :x

// nd smol recovery update before i void again >>

it's going (slow) but it's Going. wld be faster if i didnt aggravate my body all the time w/ ill-advised writing or the shittiest sketches known to man but if i don't [ocs] i die u_u im leaving two unrelated fun facts on this post which is a) the secret eliada lore corner finally has a tag >:3 and b) i am working on an improved oc site (read: 3 sentences a day. agony) but maybe i can share it eventually even if i'm not actively here! i'm only ~ca 7% done though so this is a "hopefully before 2025" type eta gmfkmg. if nothing else i will be here in late june 2 document my elden ring sote madness o7

upon learning the term bedrotting i feel like 80% of my life has been just that. so i completely get it, i bedrot unless i absolutely need to go out (✨depression✨)

fr perv hanji brings out my past wattpad dramatic af 1D fic self. i love him, he also lives in my head rent free because the perv ji character just fits him soooo well. and that thing your ex did was super hanji coded too if he’s feeling especially confident. manifesting perv hanji everyday✨

choi minho, the man that you are. he’s also my baby, so pretty so hot and so nice😭 the greenest green flag to ever exist. i saw an article the other day bc someone accused him of being a bully in HS (and first off like wtf that man is like 30+yrs old, why you bringing up his hs life at this age). the thing is that his former classmates were like “wtf hell no, bro is obsessed with a soccer team that hasn’t one in 20 yrs, you really think he’s a bully?” 😭😂😂😂 they said that he used to get snsd autographs for his teachers and friends. literally an angel baby. also, ur minho dream, care to elaborate??👀

and frrrrr what’s up with these exes here? are you guys okay? i thankfully don’t think i ever had a situation like that with anyone, ex or not, and if i did, i def repressed it. but i always remember this situation a friend of mine was in. so she was my bestie for like all of high school (she dumped me for the church💔 my religious trauma fr) and she was in a band and one of her mates introduced her to this other guy who played guitar (conveniently, he was also really really good friends with my current bf at that time). anyways we were like 17 (my bf and i) and she was a year younger so 16. and we were just finishing our list of college applications, they saw each other randomly bc he auditioned for a band that she was in and he started texting her a lot and offering to take her to band practice (thankfully her parents were like overprotective so it never happened). mind you, he was born in 95 and she was 00. so if we were in like grade 11 or 12 he was like well into uni. so, she tells me that she’s going to this uni like three hours away from where i was going. and i’m like all happy and supportive and whatever and she’s just like “oh and _______ told me that he studies like 15minutes away from my campus so he said that i could go to his apartment and we could read comics” and i was just like 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩and i told her that that was absolutely insane and reading comics def didn’t mean reading comics. so she got kinda mad and we stopped talking about him. and like a year later (she ended up not going to that uni), i stayed at her house once and she told me that he turned out to be a super sketchy guy. and she’s always been this really really physically beautiful person like main visual fr, but soooo naive, and shit like this happed so frequently. she once told me that in middle school, she was kinda dating a guy from 12th grade so she was like 13 and he was like 17-18🚩🚩🚩 so yeah, men suck. i’m thankful to have never experienced something like that or anything but im sure that my rbf and the paranoia and resistance my parents inflicted on me in terms of men helped.

so yeah, if there’s anything that the minors that sneak into ur blog should know is: that older guy that’s talking to you is 100% an absolute creep, pls stop talking to him🙏🏻

anyways bb, i hope you have soooo much fun watching the ateez coachella streaming!!! i will be with u @ heart bc im def watching it here, last week’s was really freaking awesome.

-🐈‍⬛

WE LOVE BEDROTTINGGGG my plans for tomorrow are just to bedrot bc this week was tiring as hell and my sister’s getting sick so I have preemptively planned to stay in and sleep as much as I physically can in between writing. I am so excited ‼️‼️

PLEASE something about perv Hanji just gets me GOING my ex is fucking trash but he did the most pervy shit sometimes and I just imagine it as Hanji au now to repress the bad memories 😭 I remember we were sexting @ thanksgiving dinner one year while he was literally sitting next to his entire family and he left the table to send me videos of him taking care of himself in the backseat of his car like if that’s not SO Hanji 😭😭😭😭 PLEASE. I would melt

THE MINHO THING PWLWAASSKKEKE I SAW THAT TOO AND I WAS LAUGHING SOOO HARD CHOI MINHO IS THE GREENEST FLAG EVERRRRR NO WAY YALL WANT TO PRETEND HE WAS A BULLY 😭😭 also my dream was v short lived BUT I dreamt that he had to go to work in my place for some reason and run some of my meetings for me and so we met up so he could give me business updates and we were just sitting so close to each other and laughing and getting zero work done LMFAO I remember thing “oh my god I have to fuck this man” PLSLSLWLEKEKSMJS HE’S SO FINE……….

Oh my god that story about your friend is insane 😭 that sucks that she ended up dropping you for the church (she’s missing out on the best friendship frfr) but I hope she’s gotten a little smarter about avoiding weird guys and sorta understanding the implications of what they say :/ my sister used to work at the movies when she was like 16 and one of her coworkers was this 25 year old weirdo who snapchatted her once inviting her to “watch marvel movies together” and we were instantly like OHHHH THAT’S NOT…….

Sagely words of advice from all of us here on stayblr stay away from older men w creep vibes AND don’t pursue anything with anyone who clearly isn’t over their ex 😀😀😀😀😀😀

ALSO BBY I JUST FINISHED COACHELLA STREAMING AAAAHQHWJSMSKS THEY SOMEHOW DID EVEN BETTER THAN LAST WEEK)????? HOWWW IS THAT POSSIBLE…, ALSO “GOLDEN HOUR” NEW COMEBACK IN SUMMER????? IM SO HYPED I LOVE ATEEZ SO MUCH FUCKKKK 😭😭😭🫶🫶🫶‼️‼️

I love you baby I hope you had the bestttt day !!!!!! 💓💖💘💗

"its just teasers not the entire content and they’ll be public eventually anyway"

How do you know? He said he doesn't want to post anything because it will give away too much as if that isn't the point of fucking teasers, so he in fact did favour one group for no reason and once again lied in his tweet, because he didn't specify only a handful of people will get to see the teasers. I also didn't see dream explain why he sent it to them, he just deleted the tweets like a baby, and I'm not gonna believe the parasocial admins who are just trying to save their asses.

to be fair he himself said they were teasers, and an admin confirmed nothing too big was shared with them. i really don’t see any lies in his tweets at all 😭 he said idk what to tease without giving too much away so maybe he’s just not happy with the current teasers he came up with. and him using the word ‘gatekeep’ is probably what upset ppl bc that sounds like hes only letting them see it because they’re being favoured. but i believe he only sent it to them so that they can eventually post it publicly through dream updates. if the updates account hasn’t seen the teasers beforehand they won’t be able to post them. why would he share teasers with just those stans and then never make them public? it makes zero sense if he wants his videos to get reach/build hype around them. again he probably deleted the tweets bc ppl were mad at him as they assumed he was sharing them with the admins because he prefers them over other fans. but i think it’s not fair to assume he prefers them just because he sent them teasers. that BY ITSELF by no means shows he likes them more than other fans.

an admin cleared up some misinfo through this reddit post. would be helpful to read the comments under it too. the post mentions how if admins say/do bad or weird stuff they’ll be kicked. BUT in the future i do think it’d be better if dreams official team ran updates accs instead of stans to prevent them developing a superiority complex or smth, or feeling more parasocial/‘special’ than other stans. idk tho, these admins (at the moment at least) and dreams tweets seem ok to me and they handled this fine but believe what u want bc im only trying to see the best in ppl here and not immediately jump to the conclusion that every action is malicious 😭 nuance is the word of the month especially after The Incident. well… the many incidents. we can’t seem to catch a break. 💀

Yo im so tired of people on here coming into writers inboxes and complaining about shit. THIS IS FUCKING FREE!!!! Were fucking lucky that they are responding to ANY messages about their work let alone fucking unconstructive and rude complaints. Because they literally don’t have to do any of this at all. NOTHING! They can post one chapter of a series and hype it up and then never post anything else about it again. They can write for one fandom for years, then switch on a dime and never write anything else for it again. They can say again and again that a fic is almost done then never release it. They don’t owe us shit. It’s a privilege to be able to read the drabbles, scenarios, and fucking novel and series-length stories with the themes, characters, and world-building that we love so much. And then to be complaining about some editing???? I’ve begun stories that I’ve been excited about the premise, and the grammar has been to the point that it’s completely pulled me out and I couldn’t finish it even though I loved where the story was going. I’ve only been reading works on this blog for like a month now, so I don’t know about old stuff. The last one i read I read (the jin gamer/roommate fic i think?) there were like maybe 2 or 3 times where i had to go back and reread and piece together what the intention was or where there seemed to be a missing word, but that’s so rare and like, didn’t pull me out of the story that much. And it’s fucking free! If i paid for a book, then i might be disappointed, but if i paid for a book, there probably would have had a whole publishing team that would have edited that out in the first place!!! Go read things you know are edited if you dont like it and don’t bother people who are providing free things that don’t hurt anyone because of dumb ass reasons.

I 100% get if you don’t post this if you don’t want all this yelling and negativity, but I hope you know that you are appreciated for what you give so freely. This is just one of many comments ive seen lately come to writers on here and while some of them have seemed to come from well-intentioned people, there’s like a sense if entitlement that’s completely unearned behind it that makes me fume! I try to stay out of other people’s business but this made me so mad!!!

Hi wow okay first of all - thank you for overall just getting it. Writing is a really hard thing to do and there are a lot of content creators on this website who are churning out content and trying to do their best to make it good enough for those who engage with them.

I agree with a lot of points on this - when we start to consider reader/writer relationships, a lot of people don't realize that there really isn't an obligation on the writer to do things the way that they're expected, whether it's updating at a certain frequency or editing a certain way or just... anything. While most of the CCs I know (including myself) rely really heavy on audience feedback for the way that we do things, there are certain perceptions, comments or expectations that are just super tiring.

While I totally understand how my minimal editing can seem lazy or like I don't care - that's certainly not it. It's just really the lesser of two evils for me - either I can use editing programs if I don't have someone to beta immediately, or I can delay posting for a few days while I get my bearings and edit.

Most of my writer friends will tell you that editing your own stuff is hard for some people. For some writers it's super easy to pump out a huge fic and turn around and edit. For others, it's not. It's really about what works best for each person, and this is currently what works best for me (I get really nervous delaying fics over and over again because I don't give myself enough grace and time to finish).

But overall - yes, agreed with a ton of things you said in this and I'm responding publically because I think there are a lot of really great points about the writer/reader relationship and expectations.

Editing more is something I definitely want to work on and I'll be better at asking for betas (I always feel very intimidated to do this) but yeah. Thank you!!