A lot of shit had happened in the BTD/TPOF fandom recently, got death threats too lmao, But I don't really care about those, I still am not aware of what happened ENTIRELY( tho I do know some stuff just not the full story) but I am aware Gato is problematic/ not a good person ,did I expected it? yeah I mean she's a creator of a horror pornographic game and she also draws a lot of seemingly fetish art, so it isn't that much of a surprise...for me atleast.

So..

ElectricPuke is gone , And Gatobob is nowhere to be seen, Darqx still standing strong lmao

ten millionth haha what if my major was something else thought of the day

Does Gem have an evil witch laugh?

nah, more like this. gon be serving the personality more than the witch inspo with the laugh

realising that in order to develop creatively and actually move towards enjoying the process and not finding it just objectively completely unbearably torturous I must show my stuff to a wider audience than the group of 6 people I've been talking to online for 10 years

.

I really hate how literally impossible it is to ask my mom to do anything. Sound is my biggest overstimulating trigger and no matter how many times I ask her "can you not watch Instagram reels on full volume right next to me" she just. Keeps fucking doing it. Like if I ask her again to turn the noise off she'll do it but its exhausting having to remind her every time. I go out onto the back porch and she follows me because she wants to hang out but the environment is so hostile because these fucking Instagram reels turn me into an angry little gremlin

reconsidering my future my career my major type beat ( i am too stupid to do anything that matters and im really gonna do it one of these days )

on my hands and knees begging u to say your words about xiaolumi… i want to hear them… i’ll pay you back in art i prommy—

WHY WOULD YOU ENABLE ME LIKE THIS no need for art i literally owe you my fucking Life just for that one piece like oh my god. ohhhh my god. the amount of times i have linked that to my friends and waxed poetic and maybe cried a little. ANYWAYS. i am about to be So Silly And So Disorganized

so here's the thing right?? it depends SO heavily on how you interpret lumine. the traveler definitely has their own personality and agenda ingame but there's still SO much wiggle room in terms of what you do with that. if i really wanted to i could probably make it a Lot More Accurate by focusing on the traveler in canon and going from there however i will in fact be completely ignoring that and focusing on my interpretation of lumi specifically light and love <3 <- thats my little disclaimer ANYWAYS

they are So Similar in a lot of ways. young adults who are also centuries old. stubborn bastards who would give their lives protecting those around them even if they got absolutely nothing in return. so quick to throw themselves into the line of fire for the sake of friends and strangers alike. such a strong instinct to protect. not mortal, not by a long shot, but not quite gods either, something uniquely inhuman and in between. a centuries worth of weight on their shoulders. reaching their breaking points and pushing further still, refusing to let themselves crumble. and, even with very close companions, i think they're very lonely. there's no one quite like xiao in teyvat, no one quite like lumine without aether there by her side- maybe no one quite like lumine at all, anymore.

i think its about sharing. i think they'd find it easy to talk with and be around one another, even though they're typically so slow and so careful with trust. i think fighting together comes as easily as breathing, that their urge to protect lines up perfectly with the others and leads to them doing so much for those around them as well as each other. they will not let the other fall. they share the weight on their shoulders, share the centuries of bloodshed and horrors seen and caused alike, share in the unique brand of loneliness that comes with knowing that where someone was once by your side there's no one like you left.

vulnerability does not come easily to any of them. they can always push themselves further, always be a little stronger, always run a little faster. but its exactly that, i think, the recognition of someone so like themselves that makes it easier for them to trust in one another. lumine can call xiao's name when she needs him, xiao can find lumine if he needs her. i think that for all they would shoulder the world on their own and know the other would do the same in a heartbeat, they trust one another to come to them when they need help. it would be so, so easy to ignore it, to press forward, to remain alone. but they made a promise, and they intend to keep it.

i like to imagine that lumine's presence has a purifying effect on xiao. something she could control and channel should she realize, but for now something small, just enough to ease that weight. just enough to make sure he won't succumb.

i think a big part of it is about learning how to live again. they both carry that weight, that stubborn mindset, but wanting to see the other happy helps. knowing the other understands helps. when it hurts they can breathe together, and the type of pain they feel may never truly go away but they dont have to experience it alone.

every snowflake, every sunrise, every flower is just a little bit different from the rest. xiao's favorite quiet places are nicer with her there. they live so very differently but lumine's teapot is always there and xiao is no longer bound by his contract, learning ever so slowly how to let himself go. they have spent so, so long surviving. now, though, they remember to taste the fresh air, learn to indulge in the smallest things. lumine experiments with recipes until her almond tofu is catered to xiao's tastes exactly, the perfect texture. at night in liyue xiao tells her stories of the constellations and she remembers every word, at night in the teapot lumine will lift a hand and the sky will match her memories, her turn to tell stories about stars he's never seen.

they are both so, so tired. and i think that they would trust the other enough to let themselves rest. you can put your strength down. im sitting here with you at the kitchen table. you dont need to say anything. <- that quote is so them for real its shared silences mutual understanding and comfort always having each other's backs its twin moons twin stars two beings caught in each other's orbit and choosing every day to stay. sitting side by side on the mountaintop, hands entwined, lumine's head on his shoulder. breathing. loving. living.

CAN SOMEONE HELP ME BE NORMAL FOR ONE SECOND BEFORE EVERRYONE ON EARTH ABANDONS ME IN A DITCH SOMEWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mr Beast funding 100 trans women's facial feminization surgeries

"wow haha.... thanks so much mr beast. I feel so much more comfortable in my own skin" I say as I rub my feastables face tat

You know how fucking HARD it is to be a cosplayer AND a perfectionist?????

I love tagging. I don't know how to do it properly but this is soo amusing to create the most random tags on the mundanest post ever

Or sometimes creating tags longer than the post itself? Big yes

Or tags that are absolutely not related to the post ? I can tag this as a supernatural fanfiction

The amount of power is insane

Yeah, university is going great!

was napping and i dreamt i was gonna be late for my night shift today and couldn't find my scrubs and was panicking and then my phone rang and woke me up with a start cause my long time friend's MUM was calling me via fb messenger and my stomach hurts and idk which panic im recovering from now cause i can't still think straight

you weeped, weeped

couldn't speak

i sucked you dry, like a leach

i really dont understand how people live without having crippling embarrassment.....like.......🤢