Now this might be because I have issues but is it just me or does Slay The Princess feel like an allegory for a relationship?

Aita for blocking a friend on instinct? So i (f16) have this friend, (m16) we can call him D, who i've been friends with since kindergarten.

About a year ago, i started growing very close to D through our friend group's dnd campaign we held every friday. I knew him for a long time but that was the first time we had started hanging out out of school. We were talking on snapchat every night just chatting and after a while he started to send much more... revealing snaps. Just his bare shoulders but like without a shirt. He said it was because he had to let his medication for his back dry. I was a little uncomfortable, but we were friends so i didnt think that it would escalate into anything weird.

After about a month, D starts sending snaps in a towel and pictures of his chest which made me very uncomfortable. I kind of let the chatting die down after that because it was the only way i could think of that would be enough to gently let him down easy (i was wrong). I stopped going to the hangouts with that group and kind of distanced myself because how uncomfortable D made me. This only made D try harder to get my attention.

I was still friends with the others in the group so i would often have one-on-one hangouts with the others and watch tv. One thing we watched was Miraculous and we laughed and joked about it all the time. D overheard us or something and went home and binge watched the entire series in a week. Then everytime i ate lunch with that friend group, D would always make direct references to Miraculous or sing the theme song really loud. This wasnt once a day, D would make miraculous references every single minute. He became obsessed with the show (which, for reference of how weird it was, D is a very religious Christian boy. He gets upset if he gets an A- and never drinks caffeine (no problem with any of those things but just understand that kind of guy being deep within the fandom of Miraculous out of all shows 😭)). It was so bad, and it once again was making me very uncomfortable.

Eventually, it got to an insufferable point where D changed his route to go home and made sure to pass me every day after school and wave. I started avoiding him in the halls, he would always ask obscure questions that werent that important. I couldn't understand why he couldn't get that i didnt want to be friends with him anymore so i set boundaries.

A text i sent to D: i apologize if i ever caused any misunderstanding, but i would like to make it clear that im not romantically interested in you. i can see that you have been trying to grow closer, but i dont feel the same way. i don't appreciate being followed around, and i dont like when people force themselves to like the same things i like. its not attractive to be a copy of someone. i enjoy being your friend but it's difficult to disregard these things. if im being totally honest, when you do things like this, it makes me really uncomfortable and borderline creeped out. i know crushes wont disappear overnight but i would appreciate more space. if youre looking for a girlfriend, this isnt the right person, nor the right way to get it. and i wont tell anyone about this so dont worry about word spreading or anything. thank you

D's response: Oh, I'm so sorry I made you think that! I don't have a crush on you, I just noticed how you don't hang out with our friend group as often and I just wanted to make sure that I was being as nice as possible to make sure you weren't mad at us or anything. I did start to think that maybe me trying all that made me seem clingy or annoying, so I'm really sorry for all of that. Thanks for bringing this to my attention, I'll try to do better now!

This didnt sit right with me because after all of that i cannot fathom how that translates to "i wanted to include you". This made me question a lot about the situation.

Reasons i feel like i MBTA: i'm over thinking things and D could be a genuinely a nice person. Its hard for me to read the room and i need to work on that and probably apologize to D.

Reasons i feel like i MNBTA: i should trust my instincts rather than ignore them. I've had a psychological abuser in my family before and the situation could be a stalker behavior that i've learned is not ok to have.

What are these acronyms?

Hey creature I’m going into 10th grade any advice?

im gonna be real, ive been dropped out for a while, so i cant give much school specific advice but ill try to give some

khan academy is free and it is your friend, use it if youre having any trouble, witch i did when i was struggling alot with math, i still ended up failing but the tutorials were genuinely really helpful, and having a video, that i can pause and rewind and replay helped me alot

if you have any kind of neurodivergence, like adhd or autism you should get a 504, (you should ask your parents) this makes the school have to give you certain accomadations, like test and assignment extentions, lecture reccordings (sometimes) and tutoring (sometimes)

thats all i can give advice for highschool, but as for more general things

GET A DRIVERS LISCENSE GETONE GET ONE GET ONE

if you live in america (witch im gonna be real im just gonna assume you are, because thats where i am and im not super knowlageable on other countries) YOU NEEEEEED ONE LIKE REAL BAD. at 15 and 6 months you can start getting a learners permit, this is your first step

now, theres gonna be a state website with a manual on how to drive, i live in arizona, so for me the site is adot, but if you google your state and "driving manual" im sure itll come up theres gonna be a big manual, and youre gonna wanna read all of it, this will tell you all the basic stuff, you need to study this because youre gonna take a written test, you need to pass this in order to get a learners permit

a learners permit basically lets you drive, as long as theres some other person with a drivers lisence in the passengers seat to make sure you dont fuck up anything, after you complete this test, you need to complete a certain ammount of hours of driving (with someone else present) before youre able to apply for a full drivers liscense

at 16 you can start getting jobs witch you will like pretty much need a car to get, because public transport in america is so shitty its pretty much required unless you wanna wake up at like 4 am so you can get ready and take your bus route that takes 2 hours (when with a car it would be like, less then half the time)

i cant give advice on jobs yet, because ive been postponed a bit in getting my drivers liscense and to start applying for jobs because im waiting for my name change to process. but, i do have experience in doing commisions, (commision me btw) witch i could do a seperate post on giving advice because i feel alot more knowlageable on that topic, and i have a good way of getting commisions and i was getting a bunch even before i had any sort of following

my general advice is that being an adult is scary and alot to keep track of, and your life will be alot better if you start working on things now. instead of waiting untill youre already an adult. especially if your family sucks (like mine) and you wanna move out at 18

if i got anything wrong or you have any advice for anon (i tried my best but yaknow, only 16) please comment !!

how did unknighted dream react to varian coming out/bringing home hugo lol

LMAOOO OK so this is one of my favorite things ever solely bc theres SO MANY different ways it can go and literally all of them are fucking gold

i feel like they always knew varian was Not Straight. im a big fan of the idea that varian transitions after qfad and has a big mental breakdown haircut when his dad gets trapped and considering his feelings towards both eugene and cass i think it was always this unspoken thing all of them knew about. rapunzel and eugene however were obviously Not expecting him to bring home a whole ass boyfriend

of course varian wrote tons of letters home so they both heard everything about the new friends he was making, but varian was insistent on not telling them ANYTHING about his crush because god knows how rapunzel would react if she found out about That. she was suspicious when he came back for the light trial but decided to keep her mouth shut until they were all finished with their work there

i love rapunzel and eugene being super supportive but also a Little protective. and its not really anything to do with anything hugo’s done, they’re all about second chances after all but they’re obviously not ready to see their baby brother grow up so fast. ive seen a lot of fics where one or both of them are very defensive and suspicious towards hugo and it ends with a VERY yummy confrontation from varian where he tells them they need to learn that he’s an adult now and is able to make his own choices and they have to be okay with that. but the route of them being so excited and supportive that it ends up being overbearing is also super funny and in character

i think rapunzel at first would be super excited varian is finding love, and very welcoming towards hugo on a surface level- but as time goes on the tiniest things start to make her paranoid, and she worries a lot about varian getting hurt in some way. cue her snooping around a lot just to make sure he’s okay, varian eventually confronting her about it and her apologizing and promising to recognize varian’s maturity and be more accepting of his choices.

when rapunzel actually starts to see hugo on a deeper level she starts to recognize a lot of his similarities to varian, eugene, and especially herself, and she’s now basically like “oh ok!!! new baby brother!! :)”

she then tries to be a lot more welcoming towards hugo, trying to help him settle into the castle without being too overbearing. of course from hugo’s perspective her seemingly constant mood swings make him very hesitant to trust her, but eventually through varian the two are able to bond and find a lot of common ground

eugene on the other hand is fun bc he’s way more versatile and it can go a LOT of different ways depending on how they’re introduced or how their past together is established. i love the idea of him basically becoming Cass 2.0 and being super overprotective of varian but i also like to imagine he’s mostly just so hostile towards hugo bc he recognizes so much of his younger self and is Cringing about it (he would literally NEVER admit it though). like he’s like “i cannot STAND that kid he always acts so cocky and like he’s sooo much better than me” and cass is like “lmao yeah right? he’s exactly like you when you first came here” and eugene’s just “😐”

anyways they’re best friends (they literally cant stand each other)

no they do start to get along eventually though and i have so many thoughts about the potential friendship between the former thieves, lance hugo and eugene would be SUCH a dynamic and this fandom is sleeping on it fr

and then theres cass. GOD cass is my favorite in this situation by far bc shes way more logical and is like the only grounding force between rapunzel and eugene. new dream are the overemotional parents/older siblings in this situation and cass is like. the wine aunt.

bc see cass already ran into varian at some point during his journey and has already processed most of these changes ahead of time. she already recognized how much varian had matured and how much this trip had changed him. and most importantly she recognized what was going on between him and hugo a Long time ago and literally Did Not Care

in fact cass’s main concern is literally just that she thinks hugo is annoying. its not like she’s suspicious of him at all bc she fully trusts varians judgement and also knows varian is capable of handling himself. she’s aware that varian clearly saw something in hugo and chose him for a reason. she just doesn’t like him solely out of personal bias

cass doesn’t straight up tell raps and eugene what the problem is because she knows they need to hear it from varian more than anything but she does try to kind of push them in that direction. she reminds them like “hey maybe you should try to give the kid more credit. i think he knows what he’s doing” yk that kind of thing.

ironically enough though hugo is WAY more scared of her than he is of anyone else. shes like on the same level as quirin on his list of threats which is hilarious because they are the main 2 people who have like, basically nothing against him

hugo: so is this the part where you tell me you’ll kill me if i hurt varian

cass: ? what?? oh no that bitch is fully capable of killing you himself if he wanted to

hugo: …….yeah thats fair actually.

can i present you with a random scenario. what would happen in an au hypothetical where only one of the champions survives the calamity. idk like what would happen for each champion im curious

ywah you can!!

ok this depends on if you mean like. taking links surviving role or surviving alongside link. in my au the former would be.. a bit more complicated? actually that could make for a really fucked up scenario of which i shant say as . probably spoilers? actually no . in wotb link actually dies early (a recent development meta-textually). so basically if hes already in there and a champion has to be put in their instead theres two routes. one he could never be put in there at all, already gone by the time they find the SoR. or two he Is in there but something just Fails Really Badly. it just.. wouldnt heal him. so its a last ditch effort to put a champion in there.

long text below Be Warned.

so while we’re on the topic of that scenario!!! lets start with it!! 1 mipha. she would send out an ok signal to the other champions, and she’d either check on her people first or try to get vah ruta to the nearest champion to help them. or hell she might check on zelda first. i think the plan without link would be to either say fuck it we ball and impa would take zelda to the castle, Or just go straight to kakariko instead as a safety thing. i think she’d actually check on zelda as she’s seen as the most important, then try to reach the champions. i think she’d have the same problems the champions descendants have getting into the divine beasts honestly, though vah naboris would be easy theres no water close enough. vah medoh is not only too high but has an actual shield. vah rudania walks around too much and causes way too much damage to death mountain. she could fire her shot at one of the divine beasts, but that would kill the champion inside it, wouldnt it? so she just resigns to help zelda and impa. she can take care of guardians well enough honestly. her cause of death would probably be either malice or trying to heal zelda or impa While Being Fought at. shes put in and boom 100 years later. i dont know how scales work but i think they wouldnt regrow in the SoR and she’d be left with scarred skin. either rhoam or a zora she knew would greet her on the great plateau. rhoam… wouldnt exactly be happy about. link not being there. mipha being able to defeat her blight is proof to him that shes capable, but also he really has no other options. who else is going to help zelda? mipha had defeated one of his creations.. so she could defeat him. she kind of has to, master sword or not- she’s the only one left. if a zora she knew was there instead i think itd reflect on her personally more? like her healing, her tendency to look after others instead of herself, how she’s dealing with this. the zora wouldnt force her to help zelda, maybe not even telling her. but yeag. still amnesiac, and things go mostly the same as canon besides some.. hiccups. going into zoras domain would have her literally not be able to leave, let alone go to zelda or any of the divine beasts. dorephan and muzu would gush over her because well. they havent seen her in 100 years!! and shes alive!!! she’s been martyred which would be. uncomfortable to her. because she doesnt know who that statue is, even if it looks like her. sure shes calm and nice, but the statues face.. it looks. serene almost. calm. lifeless, dead. vah rutas been protecting the place, and vah ruta would also say hi!! she’d get a memory of herself here which could include her little self or her pre cal self Hiding Things, like vulnerability. itd make her uncomfortable as well!! AND SIDON. sidon would have mixed feelings, but he would absolutely hang out with her in a more.. chill manner. just like. camping and eating. frog hunting. showing her how to ride a waterfall like she taught him. they get to know each other better like. well like siblings. she might do a pre cal and when she suggests leaving while doing a chill hangout she’d do That Smile. the hiding something smile basically, or ‘im the mature sibling’ smile. and sidon would be like ‘youre making that face’ >:( and shed go (sweating) ‘what’. but yeah. sidon would either go with her and travel with her or establish a mail system no matter the cost. They Will Talk damnit. going into other regions is hard when you cant really handle many temperatures that arent in the water. im ppretty sure zoras domain has chillfin trout in it so i think she’d do better in colder weather rather than hot, which sucks because two divine beasts are in hot weather. she’d probably still need at Least a ruby circlet though because hebra is probably too cold, or just sucks because of the snow. death mountain she’d have to put. so much flame resistance elixrs on. she’d also wear a sapphire circlet all the time there even if its not in the flaming zone. she doesnt like the hot springs </3. yunobo and her would-

-get along i think. she’d probably be slightly annoyed at how scared he is but other than that no complaints. he’d be really nice without being a pushover and i think she’d relate/admire that. she’d eat smotherwing butterflies. daruk would be really happy to see her. getting into gerudo town sucks so so soo badly. sand keeps getting under her scales, its Dry, its Hot (during the day), and theres not like. an elixr for her scales. the only real place sand Isnt on her is the lake in the kara kara bazaar. i think she’d put on flame resistant elixir there just so it protects her scales. or she gets some armour to help her with that. otherwise she’s let into gerudo town. vah naboris would be a nightmare for her. she’d have to have like. a hazmat suit for that one. and the yiga!! she wouldnt like them the moment she hears of them, which has to do with link pre cal but saying too much is spoilers. honestly though. i dont think theyd try to kill her, at least not Nearly as much. after all shes Just Some Zora. no sword, no divine intervention. after getting the thunder helm though theyd go after her probably. but yeah she does Not like them and will actually fight them the first chance she gets. this caused problems for the thunder helm stealth mission. urbosa and revali would be impressed to see her but also worried (revali) and defeated/giving up almost (urbosa). she and paya would get along really well and she’d clean with her Instantly. though paya would tell her that she doesnt have to + she should. be doing other things. she’d buy links house which. weird feelings about it so she doesnt really live in it but its just. There. like a memorial. she’d also be annoyed at purah teasing her about having to get parts but she’d mask it. she’d like indexing fish and birds in her compendium, and the sanke carp Fascinates her. she’d like kass’s music and really just sit and listen to him play. she’d also try to tell him what the shrine solution was once she figures it out. though i dont think he’d tell her the calamity legends. impa does however. she’d find lurelin and would So Badly want to go into the sea. however its too much salt. she’d probably fish there honestly, fishing rod and all. also though seafaring is dangerous for her so. no eventide unless a good boat rather than a dodgy raft. she.. tries to make it into korok forest. but she doesnt know how, and if link ever told her how he did it she cant remember. also its Super haunting for her i think she’d minorly see horrors in the mist so. yeah no forest for her. she’d defeat ganon though, and she’d probably live in zoras domain but take zelda with her. OH ALSO HER MEMORIES…. zeldas photos wouldnt help her too much. only 1 has her in it. so she’d get memories based on her surroundings, like how link gets snippets of the champions. seeing her trident would get a memory, the veiled falls shrine would have a memory, goponga village would have a memory, maybe the east post would have one?, and she’d have a zelda memory somewhere in zoras domain (maybe with those history tablets, or in an area with wildlife). and if link has a grave thatd also have a memory. she’d also get a memory of impa because hell yeah. im tempted to make link a spirit that follows her like the other champions honestly. but yeah post cal sidons been set as the ruler so. she can do what she wants. she’d mostly help zelda though.

in the scenario she lives alongside link, she’d tend to him on the great plateau and generally help out purah and robbie. she’d have to be at the domain most of the time though, and she’d be next in line for the crown rather than sidon. she’d grow older and do her best to help with the side effects of the calamity. she HATES yiga even more here than the last scenario. she also hates guardians, but she can take care of even the stalkers now. she’s there to greet link instead of rhoam, and helps him recuperate. she doesnt have a paraglider at first so for him to get down he’d need to climb down. or she couldve made a river system into the great plateau so if he holds his breath he can dive in and out. he still has to do the shrines zelda let mipha know that he has to. she might also travel with him honestly. she’d also spearhead the guardians on the great plateau when she finds out some are active. things would tense between them as time goes on but thats another story. basically old lady who may want to kill.

if revali survived!! uhh first scenario. he would fly all the way to the other champions first, and would check on zelda last. he’d also try to see how the village is doing before he flys to the champions. he cant get to naboris or ruta because he cant see anything, and rudania is at a Really painful angle, and with death mountain erupting.. its a pipe dream to make it there. he dies also to malice, or maybe to a guardian shot. same deal as mipha, either rhoam or a rito he knows greets him. rhoam has the same feelings (+exasperation because of all the champions, it was revali. and he’s a lot more of an old man to him with like changing the deal and teasing him. they would probably fight if not for the fact they dont hate each other). if it was a rito theyd focus more on flying than anything else. actually. he can get off the great plateau. i mean unless he forgot how to glide/one of his wings couldnt work he could. simply get down there. so for plot lets say he forgot how to fly and glide. once he learns how to again he goes to kakariko, and once he learns of rito village hes goes straight there and almost never leaves it. its His Hometown damnit!!! the nostalgia would get to him. though not knowing anyone would be… weird to him. but he’d still love the village. he and medoh would banter but theyd miss each other. he has to get to vah ruta by walking and hes SO mad about it. he would absolutely fight muzu if muzu hated him like he hated link. maybe muzu would doubt his skills and insist no outside help is needed. mipha would be sad probably. not to see him but just to see her family. but i think her and revali would be friends like pre cal and theyd have fun just with now looming dread. the flame resistant stuff would suck to put on, but he isnt going to drink it so he suffers instead. he would probably like yunobo. he’s able to reassure him better and yunobo is like you mentioned more reasonable in general so. yeah!! OH YEAH also he and sidon.. hm. i think sidon would tease him/punk him a lot. be more mean but thatd be why theyd get along in the end. frienemies. vah naboris. would be awful. sand in his feathers the same way mipha had sand in her scales. itd be Doubly hot for him, so he’d have to go at night but rito have terrible night vision so it sucks, and he cant even get into town. he spends a good minute arguing with the guard, not about wanting to be let in but to do Divine Beast things. eventually riju has been summoned and, while exasperated, she believes him. he still has to get the thunder helm, and hes more neutral on the yiga than mipha is. he sees them as a threat but like. he doesnt despise them. if they werent threats itd be fine. i think hes also slightly scared of them. he sneaks through, master kohgas defeated and the yiga are after him, and actually doing naboris hed also need a hazmat suit for. though its a bit better because ARCHERY YEEAAHH 🔥🔥🔥🔥💶💶💶🦅🦅🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹. urbosa would feel the same like she did with mipha, except more exasperated and defeated because Its Revali. daruk would be happy to see him though still. link may or may not be a spirit here? itd be tense at first but i think itd mirror their friendship arc pre cal (of which i need to answer that ask i am sorry) except the roles would be swapped. youll see. anyways yeah. payas meh to him, doesnt like impa a lot but doesnt hate her, would debate purah probably Somehow. he wouldnt buy links house probably. memory locations: his bow and arrow, the flight range, the tabantha village ruins, tanagaar canyon/dinraal, mabe village perhaps, one of zelda same with mipha, links grave, and maybe one of impa. also possibly one at the secret hot springs. post cal he’d constantly help rito village and thats it. Maybe help zelda if she sends a letter but yeah. he’d have to find a hobby though

living along side link. he would also help purah and robbie, though less so. he’d be forced to greet link but in the meantime he’d protect his village and basically become the elder. seeing a young link whiles he old would be… disconcerting. he’d probably feel a mixture of guilt and anger. same deal as mipha though he has a paraglider for him. he wouldnt kill the guardians however and would just find a route for him to avoid them. he’d also be straightforward about what happened to link as opposed to mipha, so their relationship would be less strained as time goes on. he travels with him up to rito village and no more. i think he’d also visit the champion descendants to do his best to help them out.

daruk!! he’d go to the champions straight away. vah ruta is isolated in water which he cant get to (and also has a shield), vah medohs way too high up, and naboris wont stay still, and though hes mighty he can absolutely get crushed by naboris’s legs. god how would he die. yiga misfire maybe???? malice once again?? probably just an accumulation of malice. hed try to instantly leave the plateau (no fall damage like majoras mask goron rock ball form) and while rhoam (if he was there) would try to tease him he’d have to just tell him ‘hey. you Have to do this. Its important. please’ or would straight away tell him the truth. if a goron spirit was there . shrugs. theyd probably focus on strength and building enough to get ganon. goron city, hailed as hero though hes a bit uncomfortable about that and tries to both take it and be mature(?) about it if that makes sense. like hes more comfortable with it than mipha, but it still puts him off a little. vah rudania would hate to see him (rudania missed him so much its unbelievable). vah ruta would be. one Hell of a divine beast to do. he’d have to use a thunder sword instead of arrows, and he’d be A Test to sidons strength as a whole. OH ALSO yunobo would love him !!!!! him bludo and yunobo would probably hang out post cal. anyways. vah naboris he would simply slam into their legs instead of bomb arrows. still would need the thunder helm. master kohga would respect daruk enough however business is business and right now theyre enemies. daruk would not like the yiga like mipha . closer to the hate scale than revali but less than mipha. he’d be pretty pissed at them and wouldnt realize why for a while. the yiga have to get inventive when he becomes wanted which means new weapons methinks!! also he’s let into gerudo town. gorons r genderless so. hell yeah. and. ok so daruk cant get up to vah medoh theres. not many options. either he’s chucked from hebra peak at all of medohs batteries and is finally chucked on board, Or if youve seen klerics 10 ways link can make it up to that divine beast on his own he does that. also also urbosa would have more hope with daruk than mipha and revali. revali would secretly be happy to see the guy. link might be a spirit as usual. memories! his stone smasher, death mountains peak, military training camp, the place where link saved him which he mentions in his diary, the hot springs/springs near the base of death mountain, honestly probably meeting mipha (maybe trading fish) ((where no clue, though he has memories of the other champions like all of them of which they arent the samw memory locations in botw. like miphas statue doesnt trigger a memory for daruk and anyone else ok sorry)), uhh zelda, impa?, links grave, and maybe some place in akkala.

the second scenario he would constantly try to help the descendants rather than link as he figures purah and robbie got it covered, but he visits them while they do great plateau things and they chat!! maybe try to take care of guardians. he would be the most straightforward with link, both in helping him gain strength but in his memories. he’ll offer to travel but wont force it on him. other than that he’d stay on death mountain with rudania. most things wouldnt be a threat with daruk around honestly. just a support beam basically. kind of sad because i. dunno what kind of character arc he would have in most of this. </3

urbosa!!! she’d take a quick glance at her people but go to zeldas and the champions aid. its hard to tell which she’d go for first.. like on one hand she’s biased towards zelda but she just went through a blight and can hear the SOS signals of the others. maybe multitasking? getting naboris to zelda as fast as she can, picking her up/dropping her off (which could lead to some chatting on the way), and then to a divine beast, maybe realizing about a quarter left of the way that theyre already dead and theres no point now. mipha would have a similar revelation probably just.. later. but urbosa dies helping zelda and impa, either distracting something or getting ambushed. great plateau, you know the drill. if rhoam was there theyd have some, “lovely” chats (theyd be So petty against each other. she’d find out her smiting power by trying smite him. though they are friends and have fun and would drink with each other.) and once her whole deal is revealed they have a little heart to heart, and this becomes even more serious to her. she’d go straight to the castle or would reluctantly go to kakariko taking rhoams suggestion seriously. if a gerudo was there it’d probably be more fighting training/regaining strength, plus. warnings of the world beyond this plateau. anyways. impa and her would be besties (though impa would be.. too lax for her). and she’d enjoy paya a lot, maybe try to flex on her to tease her. zoras domain dorephan and her would get along i think AND OH WAIT. SHE HAS LIGHTNING POWERS. if she can get the thunder helm she could finish vah ruta in one strike (though it Does worry the zora a bit). she may throw shade at muzu for his hate of hylians and of the shekiah tech (especially the latter i think). sidon and her would be battle buddies i think, theyd constantly try to outdo each other but still respect each other to have Actual Teamwork. dynamic duo that will kill you. also she makes fun of him sometimes. anyways. mipha would be pretty happy to see her! death mountain. either drinks the elixir first and then realizes most people apply it on their skin so. oops. but she doesnt really care so she keeps drinking it like its champagne. chugging. despite being used to the desert she still doesnt like the heat. yunobo and her would also get along i think!! she would just immediately kill whatever hes afraid of and he looks in. slight fear. though the mines was a workout for her and shes making sure he knows he Owes Her for that one. anyways daruk would be ecstatic to see her theyre Instant Besties. new ghost pal perhaps as well. he’d yell like a sports fan everytime she beats the blight/gets a hit. its chaotic that time the energy is just net positive despite the circumstances. hebra. honestly. she might be ok with it? the desert is cold at night and she lives next to snowy mountains. nice change of pace. teba gets her up there pretty easily, maybe bow troubles? slices the targets with her sword as teba watches in surprise yet defeat. revali and her would, once again, be very petty. however revali would still worry with the blight but she’s fine. i think she’d hate the rotating angle of vah medoh. aaand naboris!!! no freeing to do she just gets to see a long time friend of hers (naboris). she’d love riju and riju may feel a bit of pressure, but over all she’s welcomed back with open arms (maybe some new locals not recognizing her which would be interesting). though she’d have to clear the yiga. now on the hate scale, she probably wants them annihilated (i am so sorry). like riju would have to pull her back saying ‘heyheyhey yeah they suck but dont??? kill them??? or their entire clan????’ which would only barely stop her. she wouldnt even try to sneak through she’d fight them and threaten kohga for the thunder helm. kohga lets her have it without fight and makes a retreat, though he probably lays low? if he hunts her afterwards is debatable because on one hand she Is a threat to them and ganon, but also she Can kill them before they teleport and retreat. so a bit of a choice. also hateno, purah and her wouldnt be-

too much of friends but theyd get along well enough. same with robbie. she wouldnt get links house to her its not her problem. or maybe she does but because she’d think itd be a nice place for zelda. kass and her would just be diplomats to each other. link spirit maybe shrugs . memories!! sword and shield, kara kara bazaar, southern oasis?, shield surfing champion shrine that she did, patricia maybe?, digg dogg suspension bridge, a spring memory with zelda, flora and fauna with zelda, links grave, impa, the champions yadda yadda. the memory numbers probably dont match up between all the champions sorry

second scenario!!! exclusively helps zelda and either stops her from letting ganon eat her or tries her best to fight ganon before retreating and he eats zelda. then she just. wanders. purah probably helping her cope or just. do things. she might even stay in kakariko for a bit, and she moves out of gerudo town. she’d say goodbye to everyone of course. but ywah. also maybe guard kakariko from yiga of which cado would fear her immensely. she’d either greet link or let rhoam do it and just meet link at kakariko and be Cryptic and Vague like he was but push him towards helping zelda, maybe even traveling with him. however she’d probably try to have him stay On Track constantly which would go. poorly. either that or she silently judges him but doesnt say anything. she’d only really hammer in to Go To Castle once all the divine beasts are free. they probably split off though, urbosa going to either chill or help in some way just elsewhere. like helping robbie light his ancient oven and getting guardian tools. also she has more wrinkles now shes super super old

if link isnt revived but the champions arent put in the SoR itd just be a mix of the two scenarios, slowly chipping at the divine beasts while helping out globally and getting old and having to cope with everything afterwards because they still have their memories

this . may not have been what you meant. i am sorry. however. thumbs up

ALSOALSO wanting the yiga dead is not a morally pure/correct course of action for them. it is not morally right thing to annihilate an entire group of people this isnt a bug its a feature. them wanting the yigas dead is not good. just in case.

Been seeing talk about Orpheus and Eurydice and thinking about satosugu being like a dark version or subversion of them. Like Kenjaku forcefully bringing geto back from the dead to force gojo to look back and have a moment of weakness, of hope, even despite his better judgement and dooming him in an even more tragic way than how Orpheus was doomed (because at least it was their choice). Idk...but I feel like there could be something in thinking about the parallels and also the differences.

hello, sorry for taking so long to answer but i was kind of busy and i wanted sooo bad to sit and think properly about this wonderful concept before saying anything. (BTW THANKS FOR THIS ASK IT RUINED MY LIFE)

to get started i have to talk briefly about orpheus and establish my point of view on his act of looking back. this scene is, in some interpretations, about a lack of trust or defiance of hades' orders. i am, however, much fonder of the more popular interpretations (and the same as yours) about how he looks back not in rebellion, but in wistfulness. so thats the route im taking here. this is ironic, because even though stsg is in my brain 24/7 i've never put gojo and orpheus together, and i feel particularly dumb because whats gojo's story besides him keeping looking back again and again even though he knows he's not supposed to?

"[eurydice] now, who must die a second death / did not find fault with [orpheus], for what indeed / could he be faulted for, but his constancy?"

when it comes to the differences between those stories, what i like the most is the details of what they had to lose and gain, and how many chances they got to do so because, as you said, gojo's dooming is even more tragic than orpheus'. orpheus reward for obeying this rule was gaining eurydice back. when he looks back too soon (in most of the tellings by mistake), it's because he considers that moment the greeting of their new start, a greeting he simply couldnt wait to have in front of him. im most definitely sure that, if given another chance, orpheus wouldnt make the same error. whilst gojo, by not looking at geto, doesnt have anything to win, he only has something to avoid losing. his choice of glancing back whenever geto is there doesnt have any other meaning behind it, its just looking at him for the sake of remembering what he is grieving for. and not only that, but gojo has multiple chances to stop doing so, but he doesnt. he never goes forward. geto dies his premature death when gojo lets him go in shinjuku. then he dies the second time in jjk0, hearing something so kind that he has to ask to be cursed, he has to ask gojo to stop looking back. and now he's "back" again, to his third death, because kenjaku knew gojo would still look back. because gojo's worst fault (when it comes to geto) is his constancy. and this connects to the last point, which is the possibility of kenjaku using this against him again. my opinion is that, if gege plans to keep the coherence of gojo's arc, you're totally right and that'll surely be part of his ending. yes, the main point of his fight with sukuna (from a plot relevance perspective) is obviously weakening him before he fights kenjaku. but this, to me, is much more about laying the groundwork for a heavy and final fight, than to actually being the reason why it'll be special. gojo is a man equivalent to a deity, whose only real weakness is his heart, so if he gotta lose, it'll be through that. it'll be because no matter what he has to give up, he cant keep his eyes from going back to geto. and thats not only if he is to lose, obviously. if gojo survives, he needs closure. we need to see him freeing himself from the mourning of his lost days and make the conscious choice of keeping his head forward.

also, this is just an obs but i really hope we get to see geto at least once again, so we can have his perspective on this whole situation. as much as gojo is similar to orpheus, i can see geto being similar to eurydice. while i do think he will be furious at gojo for being captured because of him (we already saw how he thinks gojo should hate him by now), i cant help but also see him being quite understanding. in jjk0 geto gets to hear gojo expressing how important the days they were together were for him, so his view of that has changed a little now. what could geto say about gojo, but that too well he loved?

Tell Other People About Your WIPs

make a list of all your WIPs with a brief description of each and then people can ask you questions about them and then tag other people.

Tagged by both @onekisstotakewithme and @miabicicletta 💜💜💜 Thank you, guys <3 I don't know who to tag that hasn't been tagged already. Interested? Tag, you're it! :) (Please do know that there are no set sections. Pick whatever you want. I went the deranged route.)

I have an outdated WIP list, and many others unaccounted for. This is just a selection of stuff I could see myself posting or editing/retooling to write something new. I love talking about my WIPs, about as much as I hate being perceived because they are not remotely interesting. (I also love knowing which ones people are interested in! I have an incentive to work on them!) (Instead of snippets, part of my feedback loop is sending actual rough drafts to get a sense of whether it's worth working on more.)

Multichapters, different levels of completion.

S5 Pregnancy AU. My main WIP. Can you believe I���ve had this idea for a year… almost to the day? I’ve been stuck since November bc I don’t know how I want this one to end, beyond a birth. (As I’ve mentioned in the past, I feel like this has legs to become a fluffy universe. I have ideas! Timelines!) Gist of it: CJ gets pregnant circa Zooey's kidnapping. How does it change S5? It's less angsty than you think.

Campaign bars, aka campaign conversations sometimes happened at bars in the 1998 campaign. Fun stuff. I need to pick it right back.

What Once Was Ours or the IM AU (2021), aka IM ends with a breakup. Not a WIP. Not a UFO. A secret third thing. (“Finished” but not edited, and I’m doubtful people would be interested. Probably bc of some bittersweet ~memories~ attached to it. I mean, I shared a third of it to discord and people couldn’t care less, at least after a while. Now, better IM AUs are being posted these days; I'm not in a rush.) 33 chapters. 150k words. I do reread it every once in a while, and I cannot put it down. But its 'age' takes me aback. If things had been different, I'd have posted this in H2 2021/Q1 2022 (or even the planned Q2-3 2021). But alas.

The “Almost Ready, question mark” Category

Another SVD prompt meme claim: what if CJ has the crush first. The thing is, I tend to write her as having a relatively obvious crush on him at first until something makes her wise up. So this is just some ridiculous, post-first-meeting thoughts. Most of it was written in one sitting! It kinda fits with something in the campaign bars fic, too.

Post birth, hospital story: A couple of hours after their bb girl is born. Pure fluff. Recently reworked it to make it less wordy. Still failed, but it’s better focused now.

Many ficlets – the few I did post on Tumblr that haven’t been posted to the story I’m collecting them in, plus a couple more. I'm thinking the ice skating one, Jan 22, a few post-eps I wrote last year, etc.

Ambitious Projects I don't think are happening right away (or ever), but probably have a detailed outline somewhere

(I put this up instead of last, because the next category has faves, but it's also a long one.)

Danny is back a bit earlier on s7. Toby leaks (or tries to leak? I always wavered) the shuttle to him, as he and CJ are getting closer.

Simon lives. How does his relationship with CJ evolve post-honeymoon phase? What is it like when Danny returns?

You’ve got mail AU. This outline had two ways the climax could go. I had fun.

Epistolary collab (?) fic. Probably an X + 1 fic. The only one with nothing written; don’t rule out writing it individually at some point.

And because this is so long already (but not as long as it could be)… A few more under the cut – more "I just want to make sure I like them" and "this meme reminded me I meant to pick those back up." And they are still not all. (How do you summarize seven years of writing?? I've only posted 20-something of them, lol.)

“Almost Ready (but I feel like I want to make changes to them) (might just redo them altogether)”

Haunted by the Notion, 2007 edition. My beta Ruth suggested this when she edited the other story, and I wrote it around then. It’s another Christmas dinner at Filomena, and, eight years later, things are different. I feel like it hits expected beats, and is just missing some oomph. Maybe. (As much as I do like it, half tempted to make it 2009. Or later.)

Heaven’s here…: A interrupted proposal. I’ve written many proposals over the years, and I love toying with different ideas and setups. Danny takes the lead here, but I’ve been intrigued by the idea of having CJ do the final twist.

5 to 6 am 'me' time. Another story inspired by last year’s rewatch that I wrote right at the start of it (so Jan 2023?). It has five short parts with five different years of what CJ describes in the pilot as her “me time.” This is one when I think one per year would be fun, but I don’t want to repeat myself.

One bed, “sexy” edition. An AU to a sort of AU (one of the drabbles from this summer) and… it's what it says on the tin. The world does not need to read my attempts at smut. If I didn’t put it in the previous category, it’s because I am not sure that I want to post it. (All the previous attempts are locked somewhere; unfortunately, someone loves this one and noticed when I tried to do that, lol.)

First baby kick: I remember writing this while in grad school (so, late 2017? First half of 2018) but I lost it, along other fic, when my laptop had to be reset because I used Bear to write back then, but didn’t have sync across devices. I rewrote it, and I feel like it's not the same, but still. It's sweet! Includes: Danny talking to the baby, domestic fluff, and… baby kicks!

“This meme reminded me they exist and I love them, so don't be surprised if they are posted before anything in a previous category”

(Lbr, if I added something about them in this post at all, it’s because they sparked some memory.)

Mosaic broken hearts: CJ, circa S4, jealousy. Prompted by a former fandom friend, back in my productive era (first half of 2021; before that friend just ghosted me.)

I can’t believe I captured your heart (pancake breakfast, three words and eight letters). For a while there, I edited it so much but then I fell off. iirc, it was part of some morning-related prompts I saw around that I tried to fulfill in 2018? 2019? And they had like internal progression. But this one was the best of the 3-4, and I kept tweaking it.

Green light of forgiveness (IM-ish) — there are many other IM/IM-Tomorrow snippets I’ve written over the years. I’m not sure if this one makes much sense, but I liked it enough.

Distance — I recall liking this one! Might have to bump it up. CJ is in Africa, Danny is at the Farm and sulking because they left off on some sort of argument. There is some Danny-Abbey friendship goodness here. I even have a second file that is “Distance - shorter version (it’s not)”

Danny writes fiction, shows it to CJ during her pregnancy and she’s into it. Technically written. I would probably try to take another stab at it. Third time might be the charm?

San Andreo phone call/fallout from ID. I just had the idea of CJ reaching out once things calm down. This is one of those fics I’ve written a version of every year or so, but I think there was one I liked quite a bit.

Terrible taste in men — a run-in with an OC ex of CJ. It was so dumb.

Fka Impatience - actually beta’d three years ago (by that fandom friend I've mentioned twice before… actually, three times) and “done”. I just think I’d change so much about it these days. It started being something else but ended up being a CJ-Toby friendship story in which they have lunch and catch up. But I would want to rewrite most of it now, and not just because it’s from like… 2019 (but finished in 2021).

I forgot this one initially! he's passing by, rare as the comet in my sky - 2? 3? times CJ thinks she sees Danny somewhere, and one time she does. (Which tried to work in the 'I remember shunning you' line.) I even wrote some sort of sequel later! Probably useless.

I said I would post a lightning round with fics that are either also done but not ready for me to mention them, or just… not done at all. The length of this post and how much I've spent on it is embarrassing. To give a general overview: in line with the nonsense I've been mentioning, includes phone calls at the end of S7, also a few friendship-focused fics around that time, too; present-day stuff; anniversaries; Hollis fundraisers; weddings; many ficlets, introspective thoughts, a “yes day” fic that's super sweet but needs better dares, the third memoir idea (the original one!!!!) that I had three years ago… And those are mostly the ones I had preselected, lol.

If you're interested, I can screenshoot this part in the notes app if you message me!

Anyway, this is embarrassing, and the worst part is that it's not all. fml.

sorry to jump in here very last minute you can just ignore this one if you want but i wanted to share my thoughts on Dewdrop. i keep seeing people say that he shouldnt be characterised as weak or over-emotional and trust me i 100% get it i have read so many fics where he has been made out to be way too angry and snappy and just rude. but also on the flipside i dont think hes the strongest or most well adjusted ghoul in the slightest. if we're going down the route of "Dewdrop has been through a lot of trauma" then i gotta say that trauma does not make you stronger. no matter how much you'd like to think it does it really doesnt. it puts you into survival mode sure but honestly it doesnt give you any advantage over someone else who hasnt been through the same stuff as you. and i dont know if im just projecting my own experiences here (because lets be honest a large amount of hcs are just people projecting so its pretty hard to argue that anyone's "wrong" about anything. and thats not even going into how the only characterizations we have for the ghouls is how they act on stage and different people will interpretate that differently) i definitely see Dew as being kind of a wreck emotionally at first. i think hes definitely healed and moved on and is happy and pretty stable now but also there are times where things do get too much and there have been times where he hasnt been able to cope properly. hes messy and complicated and he is very strong but hes not strong because of his trauma if that makes sense. and hes also soft and caring and sweet too thats an important part of his character too. idk if any of this makes sense ive probably contradicted myself here at one point and i really do respect everyone's hcs and idea but this is just my thoughts on it.

no absolutely, trauma is a nuance in itself. do i think dew is perhaps the most well versed in it? yes, however you want to take that lmao. i think with that experience perhaps he can make himself appear stronger, in order to protect if thats what he feels he has to do.

and yes, thats more of what i was trying to say originally. its not the trauma itself that makes him strong, its everything else he does because of it, in spite of it, etc. it IS messy and complicated, and he has ABSOLUTELY broken down about all these things we hc to have gone through. absolutely.

healing is a very non linear thing, generally speaking. im sure much is the same for fictional ghouls lmao. i bet theres still some really hard days for him, days where all he wants to do is get mad and lash out or curl up into a ball and be alone. maybe resilient is a better word for him. and yeah, he, like many of us, doesnt maybe want to be resilient, he wants bad things to stop happening to him lmao. but hes learned a lot from all those things and from his pack on how to start becoming a stronger person.

sorry to ask you to ‘diagnose’ me, but lately ive been finding that i really really heavily relate to a lot of pwNPDs posts. ive also noticed thought patterns i have with my non-system splitting (thoughts go from ‘i am the most victimized person ever in the world’ to ‘i am the most horrible abuser that ever existed’).

i wanted to ask how you got diagnosed/started seeking information on NPD. i want to perhaps bring these thought patterns up the my therapist, but im unsure how to (esp since she has used the term “narcisstic abuse” in reference to experiences ive had)

any advice?

thank you for your patience, my life is very busy these days and i dont have a whole lot of time for tumblr, but i dont want you to think this is unimportant to me.

to be clear, im self diagnosed, and not planning on seeking a professional diagnosis, so i can only really walk you through doing your own research and self reflection and tips i can imagine would be helpful for seeking a diagnosis if you choose to do so. im aware my choice is somewhat controversial, and i would be happy to list out all my reasoning in a separate post, but i feel like that would be really fucking long (and kind of bitter tbh) and this is already gonna be a doozy. my main point is that if youre going to self diagnose, itll take a lot of research and thought; and if youre going to seek a prof diagnosis, itll take research and thought as well but youll also need to take into account the trustworthiness of whoever you turn to for help. if you go the prof dx route, i wish you nothing but the best of luck.

but onto my own process.

first, the DSM-5. a free PDF of the entire thing can be found here. make sure to read over the first part defining personality disorders as a whole, as well as the section on narcissistic personality disorder ofc, AND the disorders that it can often be mistaken for, which are listed under "Differential Diagnosis". take note of any that it seems you might fit the criteria for instead, or in addition. remember that NPD can be comorbid with many other conditions, as long as it isnt directly negating the diagnosis, such as narcissistic traits only being during episodes of mania.

please note though that the DSM-5 is still written from an outsider perspective. while it is ultimately the outline for a diagnosis, its not exempt from framing us in a negative light. for example - my lack of empathy isnt the result of any "unwillingness", i literally just have a lower capacity to empathize with others than the average person does. i can fake it, most of the time, but i cant force the real thing.

the DSM-5 also focuses mainly on pwNPD who are more outwardly grandiose, while ignoring those of us who dont present that way. for the most part im not a very "arrogant, haughty" person because ive learned thats not how i get my needs met. i may sometimes accidentally sound patronizing without realizing it, or i might unmask in safe environments and let myself be healthily arrogant (like playfully boasting and half-joking about everyone loving me), but on the whole i avoid it because in my experience, people like me better when im humble. even if im often arrogant internally, i filter myself. im not particularly grandiose now, but i used to be even less so - i was more of what gets referred to as a vulnerable narcissist, displaying (very often excessive by the standards of social acceptability, but still usually genuine) emotional vulnerability to others in the hopes of getting comfort and attention, and often placing myself into the "inferior" social rung that i believed everyone else wrongly saw me as because i felt that if i tried to take the "superior" position i "rightfully deserved" i would be hated for it. now i would say im in between grandiose and vulnerable, but still not as grandiose as whats described in the DSM-5.

also, consider the ways the criteria might apply in ways that may differ from whats described, or what immediately comes to mind. the "Diagnostic Features" section describes pretty specific scenarios, and i know i personally sometimes struggle to think beyond the examples im given. are the "special people" you associate with morally or creatively or spiritually special? do you exhibit entitlement by not doing assignments and being surprised by the consequences, or by expecting someone else in the household to handle the chores because youre busy, without considering that theyre busy too, maybe even busier? does your need for admiration apply to art you create, jokes you tell, facts you share?

TLDR for those last four paragraphs: the DSM-5 is absolutely the starting place for research, but doesnt encompass the entirety of the narcissistic experience. which is where the next step comes in -

keep researching. this step is... very, very difficult. the sad truth is youll mostly see articles about how horrible narcissists apparently are. youve probably already seen much of this and im sorry. theres not really any way to avoid it, because even resources that can offer actual help tend to have at least a degree of disdain for us. ive seen some pwNPD recommend the works of dr daniel fox, such as his worksheets available for free online, and if they might be helpful i encourage you to utilize those; however even his youtube channel is incredibly villainizing, at least based on the thumbnails (I Am Not Clicking On That Shit) so i really cant take him seriously and wont be giving him any of my money. please just be cautious wading through everything and remember that, whether you have NPD or just narcissistic traits, you arent the monster these people want to frame you as.

i wish i could remember every article that helped me along the way, but the biggest one i always recommend to ANYONE who wants to learn more about NPD is the one ill link here, Narcissus And The Daffodils. the authors use the checklist linked here to go into detail describing the spectrum of narcissistic experiences. the checklist is built using the DSM-5 criteria, essentially reworded, restructured, and added to in order to offer a more thorough understanding of NPD.* the authors elaborate on the checklist to explain how those criteria tie in with the experiences described.

*while the checklist is described as a potential tool for self diagnosis, i firmly believe it cant be your only resource to do so, and im unsure if that was the intention of the creators, who do openly state that they arent professionals. however, i still consider this a very helpful resource.

as an additional note: NatD touches on three different forms of empathy, emotional, cognitive, and compassionate. after doing a lot of research on the subject, my conclusion is that nobody can fucking agree on how to categorize and label different forms of empathy, but the categorization is still helpful for me and many others. basically, whats being said is helpful, just prepare to be confused if you try to research further because that model of empathy isnt the only one out there.

beyond that, you kind of just have to keep on trucking. sift through the bullshit. use your critical thinking skills, consider what info might actually be helpful and what might just be hateful and able to be disregarded. try to keep seeking out pwNPD, but also be cautious that even some pwNPD arent going to give the best info (r/NPD sucks ass and so does the associated discord holy fuuuuuuuuuck, absolutely toxic community and also not very queer friendly). and you mentioned relating to posts made by pwNPD, so it sounds like youve already been seeking out communities, and hopefully youve been finding good ones! im certain other pwNPD have more resources than what im able to offer as well.

TLDR for the past five paragraphs: research research research, keep your wits about you, think for yourself, seek out healthy communities, and dont let the shitheads get you down.

this will also take a lot of self reflection. you need to consider how your symptoms affect your daily life, your interpersonal relationships, your private moments. can you pinpoint when this started; was it sudden, or have these traits been building up over time? what might have caused all of this, what did your youth look like, what does your life look like now? how have you been praised? how have you been hurt? what were your parents or guardians like?

professionals arent 100% certain of what causes NPD, but there are patterns - genetics, upbringing, trauma. look at your roots just as much as your branches, so to speak. some pwNPD were praised too much as a child, made to feel more important than others. some had their needs neglected. some experienced both. im sure there are other factors im forgetting to list, so again, go listen to other pwNPD and see if anything they say clicks with you. ill use myself as an example below for the sake of explaining one of many many ways NPD can develop, but thatll touch on childhood emotional abuse and trauma, without going into too much detail. if thats still upsetting to read about, feel free to skip the next paragraph.

growing up i was both put on a pedestal for my achievements and talents (like getting good grades or being cute) and devalued for anything that was inconvenient or undesirable (like being easily scared or making mistakes), so i learned subconsciously that i was somehow innately superior to my peers but also that my superiority was conditional and i was innately flawed. i moved houses constantly, so i didnt get to learn how to develop lasting friendships, and my detachment made it far too easy for me to see people as temporary sources of attention and entertainment and not much else, easy to discard without any trouble once our time was up. even once my family settled down in my teen years, they still maintained an idea that i was better than my friends. my mother in particular was manipulative, so i learned to be manipulative too - i became calculated in how i spoke and behaved, tugged at heartstrings, and outright lied countless times, all as a survival mechanism as it became harder and harder to meet the expectations placed on me. i couldnt depend on the same easiness of childhood i had grown up with, especially with other obstacles like schizophrenia in the way of my grades, but i hadnt been taught how to work for success and didnt have the support to succeed, i just felt entitled to it, it felt like something innate to me. and while all these family and school troubles were happening, and eventually work troubles, i had my trust broken many times by many people (often BECAUSE my drive for attention led me to stick around awful people and put up with hurtful behavior), and this reinforced my misanthropic idea that i must be better than other people, but that i have to prove im not below them.

aside from just shamelessly liking to talk about myself - im sure i can be honest with you here lmao - im saying all this to illustrate a very important aspect of my self diagnosis process. i am able to pinpoint a VAST array of experiences from my youth, including plenty that i didnt even mention here, which contributed to the development of my symptoms and influence my current day behavior and psyche.

which means, going back to the tree analogy, i can connect my roots to my branches. i can recognize the symptoms i experience, the branches, and i can trace back down to the experiences that led to those symptoms, the roots. that helped me to better rule out other possible causes for those symptoms - i dont experience low empathy solely because of my autism, even if that is a factor, but specific events in my life further lowered my empathetic ability beyond what it potentially could have been. i dont feel superior as a symptom of mania, both because its a constant feeling and because i can explain how that feeling was instilled in me.

dont feel bad if you cant pinpoint everything like this. like i said, it takes a lot of self reflection, and if theres trauma involved, itll probably be a painful process. its ongoing too, there are still moments that i suddenly make a connection between a branch and a root. and mental illnesses as a whole are complex, because the brain is complex, and life is complex. and, again, genetics are believed to be a factor, so it could be possible that if you have NPD, you may have had a lot fewer developmental experiences that led into it, but experts just really arent 100% sure about all the facts. all i can tell you is my own experience.

and of course, i know ive already said it plenty of times, but focus on those branches too. really really consider how your symptoms impact you and how well they may line up with NPD or potentially something else. i know that i have full certainty in my self diagnosis, but i know that wont be the case for everyone and even with your own personal certainty, you might still want a professional diagnosis. again, if you choose to seek that, i wish you only the best and i hope youre treated with nothing but the highest respect and dignity.

so my tips for that prof dx as someone without one. first and foremost in this section: gonna have to say your current therapist is a no-go. its not impossible to change someones mind about narcissistic abuse, but its also sadly not all that likely on your own, and more importantly it isnt your job when youre just trying to get help for a potential disorder. there are websites where you can search for specialists (dont use psychologytoday), but i know when i tried on a site i sadly forget the name of, i didnt get any results, so i dont know how many options are out there and listed on these sites.

your next option is probably word of mouth. reaching out to NPD communities, asking who can be trusted. but, given how small the community is, and that you dont want to doxx yourself and might not feel safe asking people you know irl, thatll probably be difficult too. there may be listings somewhere by pwNPD, but im unaware of any.

i think the next best option is just to reach out to therapists in your area, or just as far as youre willing/able to travel, or as far as theyll take telehealth appointments - and ask them some questions. do some doctor shopping. this is an important decision and you need to know you can trust the person youll be opening up to. i would start by simply asking if they treat people with narcissistic personality disorder. some therapists may simply not have the expertise to offer such treatment, while others may actively refuse to do so, but either way, you want that yes/no answer. if they do treat pwNPD, you can continue to ask questions about their goals in treating pwNPD, the processes they use, their success rates with these patients.

i would be cautious in asking any questions that might even POSSIBLY come off as accusatory. directly asking a therapists opinions on narcissistic abuse may result in them slotting you into the "victim complex" role, or them feeling like theyre being put on the defense, even if they dont hold those beliefs. even those who dont see us fully as villains can still see us poorly. try to ask questions that are more common to what anyone would ask while researching a therapist, and take note of anything that seems off, or of if they seem particularly safe and affirming.

also!! please consider your insurance, if you have it! all my recent doctors have been referrals from other doctors, but in the past ive had to go on the site for my insurance and find a list of doctors who would take it. alternatively, you could ask upfront if they take your insurance.

beyond all this, i dont think theres any other advice i can give you. so ill give the floor to anyone who might have anything else to add, any resources, articles, websites, therapists, advice, words of encouragement, polite corrections to anything i might have gotten wrong.

if you read this far, thank you for your time, and thank you for trusting me to offer my help. i hope i could steer you in the right direction, because the sea is fucking rough out there. whether its NPD or something else youre struggling with, im happy to help you out, even if it takes me some time to reply. and once more for good measure: i wish you the best of luck, dignity, and care.

long time no update!! (what i've been up to, new project, etc)

hellaur tumblr people... it has been a while since i've written a proper update on things I MEAN, WELL, if you follow me on twitter, you would probably already have heard! but before i get into that, i first want to welcome all ye who recently followed. congrats for finding my tumblr!!! either that or you probably came from twitter. whichever route you took, be careful... because once you check in, you can never check out muahahahaha!!!

ON [JACKHAMMERED]...

first, look at this, i recently made a placeholder icon for jackham's itch io page!!! (it's currently an unpublished draft though)

this isn't even the final thing, but it still somehow slaps. why did i make a placeholder icon? it's to replace the old one, which was this

BLEGGH. i went ahead and made a better one, even if i'm the only person who can see it in its unpublished state LMAO. anyways. where am i now with [JACKHAMMERED], you may ask! good question over these past couple months, i've managed to draft a bunch of documents consisting mostly of worldbuilding and character essays. the jackham google drive has a total of (counts my fingers and toes) twelve docs, that's right, TWELVE, currently marinating in the drive. i didn't even know i had it in me! though here lies the problem- out of all these charming character profiles and location docs, only two of them are a 'plot doc'. two, 'cause the first one became half-finished and the vibes were just off whenever i came back to it, and the second one went a lil farther than half, but still suffered a similar fate.

in shorter words, i'm stumped. and i can certainly pinpoint it to not being able to narrow down jackham's scope. i know i want this game to be something great, something that is a culmination of all its wonderful inspirations, but my mind is in a constant tug of war between wanting it to be a chapter-by-chapter thing, or just one full game. it leaves me feeling scatterbrained and unfocused. and even if i DID know what i want, it still feels... well, big. my general plans for jackham feel ambitious for someone who's swan diving into renpy with 0 knowledge. im just one guy ! and so my solution to that is...

i'm making [In The Middle]

NOW I KNOW HOW IT LOOKS LIKE "another VN? but chaurchey ur already stumped writing for jackhammered, how can you possibly write for this one?!" the difference is that i feel comfortable in narrowing things down if i start fresh. i still want to work with the initial ideas i have for jackhammered, but i'm putting it away for now until i feel ready. at least with In The Middle, i hope to apply the experience i've gained and tackle jackham again. i'm sure boel, olned, and kade can wait for me in a couple of months. maybe more. so what exactly is [In The Middle]? picture this: the sun is slowly sinking, with you finally reaching the gate of your house after a long day. your plans upon touchdown consist of only two things: microwave dinner, and a well-deserved nap. but you would quickly forget them when a flash of light temporary blinds you- and now there’s a hooded stranger on your lawn; you have but four days to find out who they are and where they came from, before the inert copper megaminx in their possession becomes active once more. a newfound friend, a stranger, or perhaps something more; only you get to decide. "In The Middle" is a test game that's precedent to the production of [JACKHAMMERED]. the story will be separate, short, and non-canon (maybe! who knows!). it's mostly for me to test the waters so i can properly bite off what i can chew for jackham, while also having the freedom of experimenting! two characters and one outcome, but the choices you make affect the way it's delivered (nods nods). this feels like a scale i can work with, and i've already pumped out a bunch of concepts in a separate drive which makes me really excited to do this!! it just occurred to me how much the isekai concept keeps bouncing around in my head rent free, but with In The Middle, the opposite more or less happens. Pieve gets isekai'd to you

who the hell is Pieve

TADAAAA!!! meet Pieve, that very stranger whom that portal puked out into your lawn. naked and afraid, so to speak. and oh, the beauty of concept art... i take pride in the fact that their design isn't even final yet as i've got more things in mind i want to tweak before i give this chochi spawn the Chochi Seal of Approval. aaaaand i'm gonna leave it at that so i don't spoil stuff. after all, learning about them is the goal. writing sure is HARD. but god, so is reading. so if you sped-run and skimmed through the entire update post up to here, well done!!! i would've done the same!!! this took hours to write but i'm glad to just get this out of the way because my followers on here deserve an update too. in closing, i'd like to mention just how much i am proud of myself. not just with the progress i've made for this idea so far, but with just. everything. if you told the me from 11 months ago that i would all of a sudden be into making games, i would have not believed you. but here we are, trajectory of life changed and all! i hope you can look forward to [In The Middle], and soon enough, [JACKHAMMERED].

(tw implied SA/abuse)

AAAAA, I didn't expect you to reply so soon. The list of detail that could support this are:

-sleeping fully clothed when sick(could be him unwilling to be fully vulnerable)

-people pleasing(small, but you could tie it into it being a fawn coping mechanism)

-wetting the bed till 5th grade(has been shown to be a small sign of past abuse)

-his motive video person being specifically komaru and not including his parents

-his ability to lie when prepared (ch5 when protecting kyoko)

-his willingness to forgive people that wronged him(it's common for child victims to be made to forgive their adult abusers)

-the fact that he never really opens up to people

I know it's a stretch but when we get virtually nothing about Makoto's past we might as well try to find out why. I generally like the idea that Makoto chose to be optimistic, kind, and hopeful despite having every reason to be the opposite. It adds to why he is so willing to offer redemption. (I also unfortunately went through something similar and heavily relate to Makoto so this is also slightly projection)

Hmm while if you want to go that route i'd say you could argue it, I do have my disagreements, this isnt to say it s not possible, but I just think there are better explanations

I always thought myself that it was more he collapsed and was unable to do so then an active choice, but thats more conjecture, you could definitely make it an active choice and I wouldn't call foul on it

I feel like SA is a bit over the top of a reason, like it COULD be a reason, but combining that with Komaru's statement it feels like it'd be more likely to avoid other kinds of punishments, also could just be an inherent personality trait

I've got no complaint with this one, it is very much a sign of sexual abuse, alone I don't think i'd call it enough to be definitive but if someone wanted to run with it i'd be like "yeah makes sense"

The motive video person for everyone was only one single person, Hifumi, Leon, Aoi, and Kirigiri all had non-parental family members chosen (Sister, Cousin, Brother, Grandfather) while some people DID have parents Ishimaru, Hagakure, Chihiro it's definitely not the majority, other people Mondo, Sakura, Byakuya, Sayaka all had people they were not related to (Bodyguard, Boyfriend, Butler, Band Member) if anything the only two people I would take this as proof of a bad relationship for would be Toko and Celeste as they're the only people with non human hostages (A stinkbug and her pet cat)

I wouldn't call this special, especially by the point of chapter 5 Makoto has gained a lot of survival skills, and lying is one of them, plus people just can lie

There's nothing wrong with this one, however it does feel like a bit of a stretch, Makoto has this whole game been going "its not our fault, its monokumas" every time someone has guilt over the vote or anything, this very much just feels like an extension of that, especially with Monokuma very visibly and obviously rushing the trial.

This one's kind of interesting because Makoto does shockingly keep his cards a lot closer to his chest then people give him credit for, but I'd say he's pretty open to at least Kirigiri by the end if not everyone, especially since a killing game requires him to not be completely open to everyone all the time

This is good evidence to at the very least the Naegi's having some questionable punishment methods, but at the same time Komaru is very open about her school life which has....so many red flags, like seriously its fucking creepy komaru really do be like "yeah my old teacher used to break into my room to watch me sleep but im pretty sure it was his ghost" like GIRL WHAT so it's actually a bit hard to tell if it's the naegi's doing it, or her school life just being fucked up again

Like girl seriously are you okay

tldr; I personally think there are better explanations for most of these points, however it would still be an interesting concept to explore and I can definitely see why someone would believe it, it's not my personal theory but exploring makoto under the lens of an abuse survivor is definitely a fascinating thing to do, and also if you want to further look into and back up this reading I'd check out a lot more of komaru's dialogue because I think you'd find some interesting points to make about it through that lens you could add to you repertoire

Echo vn review

i have finally finished echo as my second ever visual novel after adastra. i really loved this vn and it was a super interesting read. for anyone who hasn't read it if a furry horror vn with very human feeling characters peaks your interest then i would 100% recommend echo its a really good story with some really strong characters that i enjoyed thoroughly. in this review im gonna be going through all the main cast and some of the side cast so its gonna be a kinda long post where i just gush about parts of each route i really liked but there will be titles before each section if you want to see what i have to say about one character in particular for whatever reason.

this review is all my opinion and is not going to be exhaustive so i will end up missing some things (mainly because i did not take notes while reading and forgot a lot oops). so if there is something i missed you wanna hear my opinion on ask :). also this is my first time writing something like this so lmk if there are things i can do better if i end up doing this again.

SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE GAME AFTER THE READ MORE

before i fully dive into the review i wanna go over some of the external factors that have influenced how i view this vn. during flynn's route i was the most sick ive ever been in my whole life and im pretty sure i missed out on some vital details because of the brain fog during that sickness. i am not well versed at all in vns the only other vn i have played is adastra, however i am familiar with romance tropes so even though i feel like i missed out on some cool moments simply because i haven't played many vns i did not miss out entirely. also about halfway through my playthrough i learned that there is kinda an order you are supposed to read the routes in which is:  Carl > Leo > TJ > Flynn > Jenna, i ended up reading it in this order: TJ > Leo > Flynn > Jenna > Carl. i don't really know how much this ended up changing how i view the story but thats how i did it. i also made chase gay i don't really know what that ended up affecting since i played all the routes as gay chase and whenever i got something i considered a "bad ending" i would reset to my last decision and do something different. the last thing that might have some sway on how i feel is how sweet the community has been to me so far, i don't usually get myself involved with a community before i finish something but this time was different since i was making fan art and everyone was super nice <3

Visuals/Music

I really loved the music and artwork for this game. i feel like the music did such a good job of creating an atmosphere whether it was chilling in the diner with jenna and tj or getting kidnapped by brian it always did an amazing job at really putting me in the shoes of the characters. i adored all of the fully rendered drawings throughout the game i love the colors i love everything about it. of all of them i think the one below is my favorite i just love how serene it looks.

this was my favorite track i feel like it does such a good job of capturing the tone of the whole game so well or the one that plays whenever they are just chilling idk what its called and i can't find it for the life of me it is driving me crazy.

Misc

there are a few things i couldn't quite fit into any of the next sections so i wanted to put them here. i really loved every character in this game i feel like the reason why i loved them all was because of how human they felt. whenever someone did something i didn't agree with i always defaulted to sympathizing with them because of how human they felt to me. also after writing this i have realized my ranking of each of the routes is just how much leo is involved with each of them i guess i just really love the guy.

Prologue

this part of the game is a little less fresh in my mind since i only read through it once on my first playthrough but from what i remember it did a really good job of establishing the setting and getting me interested in the lore of these characters. the first river scene was such an amazing moment i love how the route split happens in a way that makes you choose between emotionally comforting someone or going after who you want to romance. my only issue with it was that i did not realize that this was a route split in my first playthrough and ended up picking tj since he seemed the most affected by flynn and i was really worried about him even though the character i really wanted to romance was leo. even though i did not realize it was a game with so many diverging paths at first i still think the prologue was really good and got me very invested in the lore of echo.

MAIN CAST

Chase

i walked into this game not really expecting to care for chase too much since i kinda didn't like marco in adastra and i was expecting him to be more of the same type of guy but i was pleasantly surprised. i hate it so much when player inserts are just blank slates so im very glad that chase is an actual character who interacts with the world and people around him. he never had any moments where i was frustrated with him and wished he had said something different(aside from the ending of tj's route) and for the most part he reacted the way i think i would in his situation so i really liked him in all of the routes.

TJ

in retrospect i really like tj's route for how subversive it is as a romance with tj not reciprocating chases feelings and how nasty chase's jealousy felt. while playing it i kept waiting for leo to show up and whenever chase would try and romantically pursue him i would get kinda sad because i wanted to hangout with big wolf man. however i feel like this gave me a really interesting perspective on this route since before chase even kissed tj i never expected them to actually get together since it didn't feel like tj was all that interesting to me. this made chase's jealousy over julian feel even more scary than it already was and that final confrontation at the lake with flynn horrifying. i loved how the horror aspects where handled in this route and how subtle a lot of it was in comparison to other routes. chase drowning flynn and the description of it is one of the most haunting things from this game for me. overall i thought tj's route was pretty good even if i spent the whole thing wanting to hangout with leo because i was dumb and didn't know i had gotten to the route split. its in 4th place in order of my favorite routes in this game.

Leo

leo's route is my favorite i love him so much. i love how you get the bad ending of his route for trying to stay with him. his route was also my first time seeing the hysteria in full swing so that was a crazy twist. every single scene with brian made me feel so anxious i never really knew what to expect from him. i loved how his unhealthy obsession with chase was treated with the weight that it really deserved. the way he reacts to kudzu and chase's relationship not only feels like a natural progression of his character but also adds so much to the horror of his route since his jealousy often ends up causing serious harm. it was so sad to see him unravel and act the way he does during the hysteria because i really wanted to see him be happy and somehow move on from chase. the final scene of the "good" ending gave me what i wanted in the most evil way possible. i had wanted him to move on so bad that i had forgotten how brutal moving on can actually be. leo ends up losing the person he is closest to in the worst way possible i say this with love though it made me cry real hard. and the implication that he is planning on staying in echo is too just heartbreaking. i could go on forever about all the things i love about leo's character but i don't want this section to be too long so i will end it here and say leo is my favorite of the main cast and he has my favorite route of this whole game.

Flynn

i feel super conflicted on flynn's route, it does so many things so well but the ending left me feeling weird. i wanna talk about the things i liked first, which is most of the route. aside from leo he was the character i was most interested from the prologue mainly because i could tell that he wasn't just going to be a one-note mean guy and i thought he had a ton of potential for a really interesting story and i was right . i really enjoyed how his mean demeanor was written the times when he decided to be nice never felt out of character, like the way he helps carl with his interview and really wants his friend to do well and when things don't turn out well he still supports carl but does it in such a flynn way i just loved it so much. flynn and chase's relationship during this route stressed me out the most out of all of the routes mainly because of how they hid it from leo i really wanted chase to just talk to leo about everything but i can understand why he was avoiding it so much. i really loved the reveal of chase killing sydney and how flynn reacts to it. the way everything in that scene plays out was just amazing i can't be mad at either side of the it since i can understand why jenna and leo don't want to believe that their childhood friend killed someone but i can also understand flynn's immediate reaction to this and wanting to lash out at chase. the sydney flashback really got to me everything about it felt so real to me and flynn trying to take a big brother role for sydney and try and protect him from seeing the corpse anymore was so heartbreaking. my favorite part of this route was when you get the perspective of flynn rather than chase it was not something i was expecting in the slightest and i was so happy to be able to see some of his thought process when he does stuff. i really liked the hysteria portion of his route but im a little iffy on the ending. on one hand i like it for the story the fact that flynn dies kinda makes sense to me i just really wished he had lived and we had gotten to see a healed flynn who now knows the truth of what happened fully, even though i know this vn doesn't like giving out easy solutions. overall flynn's route is really good i just wish it had ended differently i would put it at 3rd place in my ranking of the routes in this game.

Jenna

i almost adore jenna's route as much as leo's. i really like her personality and aside from leo she is my favorite character. learning that she likes manga and watching anime with her was such a fun little moment that i thought was cute. it really surprised me when carl went missing in this route i was kinda expecting his birthday to play out the same in every route but i this was a really good plotline. i liked that this route forced jenna and flynn to interact more since the tension they have is always so fun to read. i loved the side characters in this route micha was my favorite out of all of them(even though i think jeremy is really cute). i want to give micha his own section in this review but to put it shortly his relationship with leo made me super happy. i really liked the tension between jenna and leo it was such a good conflict that i enjoyed reading. the whole fake cheating prank was such a gut wrenching scene that i was honestly having a hard time getting through. i liked the section where they are kidnapped by brian more in this route than in leo's mainly because brian getting rocked by the ghost thing was really satisfying. the implication that carl was tortured the same way chase was for multiple days is unfathomable to me. leo and chase being sewn together made me feel sick because anything remotely body horror related gets me and micha having to sever that tie was really cool foreshadowing for leo and micha's whole thing. the whole van section was also really incredible and seeing leo start to move on from chase warmed my heart in an otherwise very intense route. i liked heather she is such an intresting character to me since i really want to sympathize with her because its clear she has a lot of unresolved trauma but she was also an asshole to jenna and tried to flood all of echo. i really loved her trying to flood the town it is such a crazy plot point but i still really loved it and jenna having to put aside how shitty heather was to her to talk her down was a really good moment. the dinner scene after everything also felt very satisfying and it was good to see micha be apart of the group for a bit his interactions with everyone made me smile. i really liked jenna's route all around it is my 2nd favorite and was a super fun read.

Carl

i really liked carl's route i relate to a lot of his struggles and even though there where less scenes that scared me it was still really good. this was the last route i played so i was feeling kinda melancholic while reading since echo had become my nightly routine for about 3 weeks and i was really loving the characters and story. i liked how much lighter(in comparison to the other routes) of a tone carl's route took staying over at his big haunted mansion is such a silly concept on paper but it ends up playing out super well. i thought raven was a silly guy even if he didn't really add or remove much from this route and he helped keep jenna somewhat in check so that was nice. the escape room stuff was so interesting to go through. i found myself feeling scared that they may not actually make it out or they would end up killing each other. my favorite scene from this route was the hanging tree stuff. i had such a vivd picture of everything happening and it was really hard to watch jenna and carl to do things that i know they wouldn't. this route also had a ton of echo lore so i kinda wish i had played it first since i feel like i missed out in other route because i was trying to piece together things that are revealed in carl's route. i really liked the james hendricks and john begay stuff . even though carl's route is my 5th favorite by no means do i think it's bad.

Side Characters

i'm not going to only talk about the ones that really stood out to me and in a much shorter way than the main cast (other than micha)

Micha

micha is my favorite of the whole side cast and i really adored him and leo's relationship that i interpreted as romantic during the last bit of jenna's route. at first i didn't really like him and thought he was kinda an asshole. as the plot kept going i kept getting more and more attached to him since he was still an asshole but he was working with the main group. normally i don't like characters like him but i feel like he was written in such a realistic way that i found it hard to stay mad at him. i really loved him and leo's relationship their connection felt so real and i think they could be soooooo good for each other. the van scene was so incredible the way the player and chase have to fill in the blanks as leo and micha talk about what happened between the two of them really immersed me in the story .leo feeling guilt over never reaching out to micha after he was disowned was such an interesting thing i never really expected leo to want to help someone who was a bully to his friends but i still feel like it makes sense for leo to feel this way since he just wants to protect people. i think its really sweet that leo ends up leaning on micha more after the van scene. also the scene in the dinner at the end of jenna was really sweet i loved seeing micha being added to their group dynamic and i wish i got even more. in conclusion leo and micha should kiss and live happily ever after <3.

Brian and Clint

i don't have a lot to say about these guys other than the fact that they are horrifying antagonists. before i saw brian fight i was under the assumption that if leo is present then we are probably safe but brian ends up breaking that sense of safety in such a horrifying way. i like that even though clint isn't physically strong the fact that he has the strongest character following his orders made him so intimidating

Jeremy

i wanna give him a big kiss even tho he is mean

Janice

i really liked janice in tj's route. i love the fact that we never get a clear answer for why she needed chase and tj to be digging holes. i almost want to trust that she isn't killing people but she clearly has a few screws loose.

Closing Thoughts

i really loved this furry visual novel and its really human feeling characters. i had way more to say about it than i thought and the more i write the more i love the story and the more i want to say but this is already such a long post. i liked adastra more but i don't really feel like it is a fair comparison because if i hadn't played adastra this account would not exist and i prob would not be drawing at all but maybe if i had played echo first it would have done that to me since it still is really good. this was super fun to write even tho i know some of it might not make any sense lol because this is just kinda stream of conscious. i might end up doing this with other things i read/watch since it also gives me an actual reason to take notes when i read/watch things. also i wanna say thank you to the community on here i haven't been involved with fandom spaces for a really long time and im still not very involved with this one but you guys have been super nice and i wanna continue making art and talking about this game :)

I was wondering, do you have a ranking for Kotone ships? I assume Shinjiham is number 1, but I'm curious since you mentioned you liked them all

HMMMM maybe? I mean like I pretty much like all kotone ships since I'm biased and I like her althoughhh honestly some ships I just see more on platonic side but I salute anyone that ships her with a rare pair (provided its just not something entirely weird or borderline illegal lol)

Anyway, here's pretty much my ranking and thoughts for each ships lol:

1) Shinjiham - First of all, god Atlus doesnt FUCK AROUND with his SL route and it's so out of their fucking mind for Atlus to not let the girlies write for the romances in other persona ever again cuz WHAT THE FUCK???? They really fucking cook with his and Ryoji's SL its fucking sweet yet so tragic I just cant fucking take it anymoreeee 😭😭😭 and it fucking hurts me that even when you ended up not dating him, you can clearly see just how in love he is with Kotone like fuck man it hurtss

I am just such a sucker for the broody bf x cheery gf trope but they had me in my tits when they laced it with angst it had me bawling by the end of it. I really appreciate how in femc's route we finally get to see his true character like god before P3R we really only know him as that mean looking guy with a tragic broody past and he tries to make things right before its too late but we dont also see him trying to be better other than tiny mentions of it so when he is gone we dont feel bad other but P3P hooo boyyy shits fucked me up I miss him I miss my wife and even when I get to save him, even when he finally gains the reason to survive and have meaning to live, when the person that gives him that reasoning is gone, it fucking hits me like a truck man and that truck decides to reverse and run me over again. Absolutely spectacular shipping 11/10 dont fucking do that ever again Atlus I have inherited hypertension from my dad

2) Akiham - This is actually my initial otp before I blasted and fried my brain with foolmoon content. I was actually surprised to see this side of Aki where instead of him looking like he gets thing under control and cool all the time, he is just so clueless socially and every rank of him had me go "Holy shit he's autistic he's just like me frrrrr" like I didnt expect him to have awful social cues like me hskskssksk I also love how really cute the entire rank is like this boy is 18 and never dated anyone yet he is so sweet and thoughtful I almost forgot he probably learned this from the seventeen magazine in his room lmfaoo I love them they're the most tamed yet cute pair but also bittersweet and sad thinking that he lost everyone that he loves even after he proclaimed he will protect her ugh im in painnn

3) Theoham - I love how silly the entire route is! Its fun and relaxed and oh god what is up with everyone with white hair has autism in this game??? His lines are fucking bonkers it had me in tears and I cant even believe this man also manage to make me feel things about exposing one's hand after seeing it gloved for so long. Again Atlus please let the girlies cook again for the new persona i am begging you

4) Hamugis - idk if it was Atlus intention or not to make her pan but god I love this so much! Her entire route is her adjusting to being human and gaining human emotion gradually and I just really think its so beautiful when she said she doesnt even care if Kotone's a girl or a man she will still love her (Im sure she really meant it to be platonic and she pretty much mixed romantic and platonic but also that confession at the roof doesnt help at all I genuinely think she's in love with femc) and towards the end when she cried I can hear how human she is briefly like oh god I cant believe Atlus invented yuri

5) Yukaham - they're besties and she mentioned she wants a bf before okay whatever BUT I just refuse to believe she's into men honestly and she probably just wants a bf because thats what she believes girls should be (like obsessing over boys and such) and shes a girly girl so she should like boys, right?

Im not forcing anyone my HC at all so just ignore this if you want. Im writing this because the worm in my brain tells me to do it and i am also projecting myself here but like I just like the idea of Yukari feels conflicted about her sexuality because she's a girly girl and her liking girls doesnt fit the status as a girly girl but when she meets Kotone and she is feminine and likes girls stuff too but also a tomboy and doesnt really care much about the identity of being a girly girl and finds herself enamored towards her, she admits to her one day that she's having conflicted feelings about her and the other girls she finds oddly attracted to and Kotone's probably like "You should try to kiss me and see if you feel anything about it" and AKXHEIQPAUSQPAJQL oh god the thought of Yukari not knowing she's a lesbian and struggling to accept her identity as a lesbian is just so AAAAAAA i need more Yukaham content maybe I should draw them together

6) Mitsuham - I totally understand people's vision with Mitsuham. Actually at this point, you guys can see how Kotone brings impact to everyone in the team and towards the end of the game, everyone either finds a meaning to live or finally able to open up to each other but anyway shhh lets ignore the overall grim lore of this game and just focus on Mitsuru as a person instead. I really love the idea that Kotone introduce a lot of new things to Mitsuru since despite how rich and influential she can be, due to the responsibility and burden she has to hold at a very young age, she didnt get to experience what life is as a normal teenage girl so I just love the thought of Kotone teaches her what it feels to be a normal teenage girl like and gives her a glimpse of what it feels if she wasn't a Kirijo in the first place. Again, just a HC but like I think it would be so fun of Kotone and Mitsuru just sneaks out at night after she convinces her to forget her responsibility for a moment and loiters around town until it's the dark hour and Mitsu just freaks out because she was too distracted by having fun and being distracted by her duty and she was like I cant afford being normal, not in this world and not when she bears the name of Kirijo and oh god did I accidentally turn this into angst???? ANYWAYS yes I understand Mitsuham

7) Ryoham - Okay I have to admit, as much as bittersweet and tragic their whole relationship is (like the fuck as going on in Atlus' HQ when they wrote "Please touch me. Make sure I exist." Like ????) I'm just not into Ryoji much because of a personal reason but also like I love it when people draw them in an alternate universe where they meet again like I really believe in another life, they really do would fall for each other again ;w;

8) Juntone - Honestly I just see them as platonic but I saw this one Juntone shipper on twt before and I cant stop thinking of them whenever I have to think of this pair. Like okay shh imagine if Kotone isnt dead in the end but both of them still lost Chidori and Shinji, I know they both understands the pain but like if lets say they find confort in each other and down the line they do fall in love, I just think its really beautiful. Maybe not immediately but when years later theyre reunited and open up about their grief and still having a hard time to move on, I know they would clung on to each other just to feel absolutely alright because nobody can understand the circumstances they fall into.

Anyway, that's pretty much my ranking. I really do love and understand why people would love her with other pairing like I am all game but the ones I am pretty much very obsessed with is Shinjiham and Akiham while the others are more of an afterthought to me.

PLEASE elaborate on bunny reader and wolf gojo that dynamic sounds hilarious

cw hybrid stuff, violence lol

im imagining like how u meet😭

imagining you as like… a little rabbit hailing from a small village town. you’re off on your own for the first time because you’re trying to go make some money to bring back to your family. its a very dangerous journey so you’ve prepared a complicated route and a long list of weapons.

and you’re all suited up to avoid as much danger as humanly possible. and then, on your trip, you come across an injured person. theyve got white ears and a long tail with a dagger lying beside them, all bloody. its against your better judgement but you managed to lug the big, heavy person into the nearest town to get healed. you use some spare money to take care of them and they seem completely unconscious for days.

and then one day you come back into the room youve been sharing and you’re getting immediately pinned to the ground.

“woah, woah - what the fuck!”

“shouldnt i be the one saying that?”

lo and behold, the guy you saved is a wolf. a white wolf with terrifying blue eyes. you dont really have wolves where you lived, you didnt know what they look like. and you’re not the brightest but you’re pretty sure this guy wants you dead. it only takes a few minutes at best for you to figure something else out.

this guy is a fucking nutcase

“c-cant we just talk this out? maybe just, y-yknow—“

“what would we have to talk about?”

“why you’re trying to kill me?”

“isnt that only natural though?”

you’re screwed. and you have an inkling that you’re not gonna make it out of here alive if you’re not smart. when he leans in close and you see his teeth, sharp and imposing, you immediately push him away.

“a-ah, but thats no fun for you right! ya seem like a guy who likes fun, so maybe you could… uh chase me instead! like a game!”

he pauses, then stares at you and grins. grins so terribly wide. he looks so excited.

“a game does sound fun. good thinking,”

“r-right! right, right. there has to be rules. uhm and since im at a disadvantage ill have a head start on the run. and if you chase me before i get to where im going you w-win,”

he stops and gets up. without so much as a word, he comfortably sits back on the bed leaving you to dash towards the wall. he tilts his head, moon shining on his face.

“hmm. you’re smart. i do hate things that are boring.” he rubs his chin deep in thought as you try to make sure your heart doesnt fail “then.. lets play your game. we can start in three days. until then, we should get to know each other,”

he looks at you one more time as you desperately try to figure out how to survive this insane situation.

“think we’re gonna have a lot of fun together, little rabbit,”

Speaking of Suit's emojis, here's a small and very dumb thing I noticed when replaying Saerans route and AE that im almost certainly over thinking

The game doesnt give emojis to characters who you're meant to consider a 'threat' (a term I'm using very loosely.) Unknown makes sense, as he's meant to be a behind the scenes antagonist, and him having emojis kinda ruins that. But Rika, who almost certainly had her own set of emojis still in the app data from her time in the RFA, never uses them at all. V doesnt use them in OS (not bc he's 'villainous', but because you really cant decipher what hes thinking or going to do, and in its own way that does make him some form of a threat cough cough secret ending) and if im remembering right he only uses one in the SAE, when hes talking about Jumin. Hell even Vanderwood uses Saeyoungs emojis in the AE

So in a really, really weird and roundabout way, you can kinda tell who is and is not actively someone to worry about based on whether or not they use character emojis lmao

I suppose we can call that the Emoji rule. Like, logically, we know that they only have emojis for characters that are in the RFA. Rika had her own set of emojis but we've never seen them, you're right. That's just for the sake of Cheritz not having to pay an artist to draw out Rika's emojis since she's "dead". Plot convenience. Vanderwood does joke in the After Ending about when the best time to get an emoji would be since he joined up with them. So, if it's a character that's going to be romanceable, they've got an emoji. If not? Nothing.

But, the conscious choice of using an emoji seems to be interesting. Rika avoids it. I think she does that because she's trying to run from her fears. She is afraid for the RFA to see her fears and trauma, she wanted them to see someone shiny and without fault... so, seeing it... seeing an emoji of the Rika they "like" while she knows she's not the Rika they "like"... well. That's rough.

Ray and Suit Saeran make emojis for the sake of it. Ray wants to make sure you see him as involved with the game. Of course, the developer has emojis! Why not? The same thing for Suit Saeran, he gets them because he won't let Ray have something to himself. He's going to make it better his way. They're proving something to you.

You did make me laugh at one thing, though. The thought of any of the antagonists in Mystic Messengers having emojis. Like, Glam or Sarah, Echo Girl, Saejoong Choi, etc.

HIHIII FOR THE S/I ASK GAME. 3, 9, 15, and 16 FOR AINE OR IRENE? THANK YOU 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

NAUR I GOT EXCITED CUZ THIS IS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT SET OF OCS OMG YES. THANK YOU. DOING BOTH BECAUSE YES..

3. how do the other characters generally feel about your self insert?

i dont think many would actually know aine's... present because she's holed up in her house for so long... probably her relatives only know about her existence wiwiwi but! she's generally very shy and quiet, not very used to talking to others! but she tries her best to be sweet :3

irene is ... probably envied by many people! i mean she's part of a prestigious family and she's very pretty! she's not like most women of her age who can be pretty uptight (at least i think so...) - she's very humble about her wealth and doesnt go out of her way to shove how fortunate she is... its all because of her old past that she's very gentle and considerate :3

9. who are your self insert’s closest friends?

unfortunately as i've said earlier, poor baby aine doesnt have much friends, but she's very, very close and trusting of her gallade who acts as her best friend and guardian no matter where she is. she always finds comfort in gallade. but if i had to pick one person who would be her close friend, it would be erika - i think she'd help aine be more relaxed and less nervous about herself and sleepy times together LAFDKSLKFSKA. i wanna plug blake into the story as well, i can totally see him to be a big brother to aine and i picture blake to be more friendly! aine needs nice company, she needs it for sure ;; softcore version of color pallet trio . cold pallet trio if you will. bye

right off the bat, i just told myself "yes irene and emma are best friends" emma probably provides the best chamomile and irene looooves tea. they bond over that heheheh. maybe helena and tracy too! i have such soft spots for them and i really like them! irene definitely doesnt like nobles that much (i excuse reynold however. eheh). i would include naib, but i dont think it would work out? im just biased wiwiwi

15. how does your self insert play a role in the plot of the story? do they help directly defeat the villain, support the heroes, etc.?

AINE STOPS THE ACTUAL FROSTBITE. THAT IS ALL. IM TOO SHY TO TALK ABT ***VELVETSHIPPING HERE IM SORRY WHDASDSAHJFHJFSASF </3333 he stops caring about trying hard for himself to be stronger and helps aine out instead and feels that she deserves better and focuses on that <3

irene umm,, gives him,,, the love and care he lacked as a kid,, wiwiiw,,, she takes him in after the explosion and nurses him to health and they confess they like each other and they promise to figure things out from there and shes dead serious about taking him into a better place because he's gone too far to make ends meet WEEWEFGGFGF MY BRAIN IM (BLEATS PATHERTICALLY)

16. freebie! name a fact about your self insert you want everyone to know.

aine has two "endings" on what happens when she sees him. one is the happy route where, yk, they get along, yadda yadda, romance, bonding, all that jazz. the second ending is... a little more unfortunate. basically she was a bit too late, because he's frostbitten now, and she regrets leaving her home and will probably stay at home more often now because the world is much more terrifying than she suspected. poor girl

irene is made with the purpose of wanting to ship with someone in the game yes - but the plot twist was that i was not actually crushing on no.rton at the time (he was just a fav) but found him to be a cute match with irene and i did just that. and then my dumbass fell for him shortly after HSAJKFHJAFHSFJSA im so doopid woawwww....