#im in a family reunion and they bring up the topic and made me think about my trans identidy and my future again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

expression-in-its-essence · 4 years

Text

The Goldfinch movie.

7 min 26 secs in : Why the fuck did they start the movie like that. Why didn't the explosion take place? Theo's mom's apartment? His anxiety? Also.. why do they keep cutting the scenes abruptly? They ain't tweets... No limit.. then??

8 min 2 sec in : Okay they went to the apartment. Audrey's sweater deserved more screen time. The lipstain on the mug in focus *chef's kiss* poetic cinema!

9 min 19 sec in : Do you see what I see? Tom Cable's face has a stark resemblance to Boris's face. Did Theo have a crush on him?

9 min 54 sec in : Mr Barbour's hand is shaking. I like that they put it in there. He was sick. Nice. (I'd imagined Audrey's apartment building entrance like they showed the Barbour's apartment building entrance. Wild.)

11 min 8 sec in : Don't shove it into his face that y'all are fancy okay? He's not used to that life style. He didn't have maids making his bed. ARE YOU GIVING HIM DRUGS, MRS BARBOUR? But you just glared at your husband for offering him the same sort of thing?? Oh God. Poor child. "it's perfectly understandable" my ass. You gave him meds just because your sleep was getting affected.

14 min 39 sec : Woah woah woah Theo wtf you're so smol how'd you do that? Also... Again. The frame of Theo and Tom standing close and Theo and Boris standing close when they kissed, Theo is wearing the same damn sweater.

16 min 58 sec in : Ayyyy Jeffery Wright!

20 min 33 sec in : "He drank a lot", Theo about his dad. Honey just wait up, you will too. (The grilled sandwich and the cute lil smile 😍 also this is the first time since the movie started that Oakes' voice isn't deep.)

23 min 54 sec in : Wizard of Oz poster, I see you!

24 min 19 sec in : I love how Oakes is expressing being caught off guard. Theo knows he did something bad and every time he's dealing with something he didn't expect to deal with, he's like OMG THEY KNOW ABOUT THE PAINTING AND IM FUCKED even if no one knows.

25 min 1 sec in : The glasses made a difference. He went from mature to cute. Angry bird to angry birb.

25 min 44 sec in : Another sweater? Or was this THE sweater of Audrey? (Off topic but Oakes is hella cute. I could murder anyone who hurts him.)

29 min 9 sec in : Pippa doesn't remember or doesn't wanna remember? There was something in her eyes that was hard to read. Also, why doesn't anyone say 'I'm sorry about your mom' to Theo? Do Americans not care? It's weird to see no response when he tells people that Audrey is dead.

31 min 17 sec in : "The Goldfinch, destroyed"? Then why is Theo upset. Good riddance. Oh yeah. I know why. It's Donna Tartt we're talking about.

32 min 39 sec in : Hobie just casually predicting the future. "It's only fake if you pass it on as an original". Theo's like, "noted, gonna do exactly that".

34 min 16 sec in : Why does Theo write like a five year old child? That's toddler handwriting! And omg all the Andy-prom-dress memes are making sense now. (Also did I mention that Mrs Barbour seems more selfish in the film than she does in the book. Like hey I'm putting up with this kid because he helps my kid. He's serving a purpose for me. What the hell.) (How old is Andy anyway? He looks younger than Theo. I think he's different. Didn't grow up like other kids. That was mentioned in the book right?)

35 min 20 sec in : Ayyy Hobie's earring!

35 min 49 sec in : He shopped for himself? Nice! Didn't know kids could shop without adult supervision in the West. (Because they can't in the East.)

35 min 50 sec in : Ayyyy Sarah Paulson! Damn she's hot. How can you dislike her? *heart eyes*

37 min 30 sec in : I can't bring myself to hate Luke Wilson since Skeleton Twins but SHUT THE FUCK UP LARRY! AUDREY DESERVED BETTER. Look at how Larry and Xandra are looking at the place like they're vultures.

39 min 34 sec : They got the airport scene right. STOP GIVING HIM DRUGS WTH IS WRONG WITH THE ADULTS IN THIS MOVIE!

41 min 12 sec in : Ayyy Popper!!!!!

43 min 27 sec in : It just dawned on Theo that he's alone. Oh god. My poor baby.

45 min 12 sec in : Let me take this moment to say that Ashleigh Cummings is pretty. And I finally get why y'all were pissed at the non linear storyline and the weird voiceovers. Guess I'd been prepared for that so it didn't really suck that much.

49 min 30 sec in : I'd imagined Boreo reunion like the Platt Theo reunion. In the day. Dang it. Also... Adult Platt Barbour was not supposed to be good looking? In the book?

55 min 34 sec in : Without context, none of it could make sense. Apologies to whoever didn't read the book beforehand. Crowley fucked this up.

58 min in : Ayyyy Finn Wolfhard! BORIS IS HERE AND IM SO EXCITED IDK WHY

1 hour in : It's such a Boris thing to leave the bag unzipped.

1 hour 3 min 20 sec in : Slumdog Millionaire's Jai Ho (2008) is playing in the background. The only song that I've recognized so far. Wow. Lets me know about the time setting. Nice.

1 hr 3 min in : Someone gif " That cost twenty dollars!" *Stare* "That would have cost twenty dollars!"

1 hr 8 min in : So Boris's room is exactly like I had imagined but Theo's room isn't. Boris just mentioned Kotku though.

1 hr 9 min 14 sec in : Isn't it hella hot in Vegas? Why are they wearing sweaters? Or does drug intake make you more vulnerable to the environment?

1 hr 10 min 15 sec in : Xandra Theo argument : gold. "Cocktail sausages that you like." I wanna laugh in Crowley's face. What was he thinking?? Omg I'm dying.

1 hr 11 min 17 sec in : The slap sound didn't work??

1 hr 13 min 53 sec in : I like serious Boris better.

1 hr 14 min in : The slum house Audrey dream thing was not in the book. That's an entirely new addition.

1 hr 18 min 26 sec in : The Welty Theo scene is awesome. The sound effects work. I feel suffocated. The ambulance noise fiasco is also nicely pulled off. (also Theo's Yellow bag was dirty af then how did it get all clean when he didn't even do anything to it?)

1 hr 20 min 57 sec in : Shhhh Potter.

1 hr 22 min in : Holy shit he got slapped twice!! Ouch! And Larry's audacity to tell Theo to stop with the crying?? Good thing he died. Asshole.

1 hr 25 min in : "You don't tell me a lot of things but that's okay". I see what you did there, Boris. Which was of course, I love you.

1 hr 26 min in : "Act normal" - Theo knows his way around drugs pretty well, doesn't he?

1 hr 30 min in : "No family No friends" line punched me in the face. (Also awww popchik's excuse was the last resort for Boris to make Theo stay.)

1 hr 31 min 17 sec in : That pause after "What do you have to tell me?". You can clearly see Boris struggling to hold something back. Which was of course, I love you.

1 hr 31 min 34 sec in : What the fuck is that music? Oh heyyyyyy they kissed!-- he fucking runs away?? Also what kind of a kangaroo runs like that? (Yes, the taxi driver watched. I don't have to wonder anymore.) (They didn't address why he took the bus instead of flying?)

1 hr 33 min in : I didn't imagine Welty's room like that at all. Also why doesn't Hobie seem happy to see Theo again?

1 hr 35 min in : Longer stretches of one storyline are kinda bearable. From drugs in storage unit to waking up beside Kitsey. We got Vegas and Young Theo. Nice. (Also, who the heck puts jewelry in shoes? Is Theo that dumb? And now I can't think of anything else than Boris piercing his ear for the emerald earring. Tumblr has fucked it up bad.)

1 hr 43 min in : They nailed the Kitsey Theo confrontation.

1 hr 44 min in : Ayyy Ozma of Oz!

1 hr 48 min in : I noticed it before but I wasn't sure... Now I am. Pippa has Welty's ring. On her finger. At all times. (also, is NYC always that noisy? Must suck to walk on the roads.)

1 hr 52 min 23 sec in : They nailed the Theo Pippa date. What's that song playing in the background? I want the name. It's almost like two hours and I still haven't seen Aneurin Barnard once. Why! (Jerome's mentioned in the movie btw.)

1 hr 52 min 51 sec in : Complained too soon. Boris is sat in the dark doing god knows what. My man Aneurin is here!

1 hr 53 min 37 sec in : BOREO REUNIONNNNNN - no don't look at me like that I only watched it thrice.

1 hr 56 min in : Boris saying "it's someone else" with a knowing look and Theo looking at him. The frickin yearning.

1 hr 57 min in : Boris is like you're unhappy, I'm here, we're both rich, let's f*ck. "We could"... What are you suggesting dude he's repressed!

1 hr 58 min in : "you unwrapped it and showed it to me." So many meanings. The heart, the love the soul... Wow. Good for you, screen play writers! ( It's kinda hilarious how Boris got mad at Theo for never quote unquote fucking opening it.)

2 hr 1 min in : I'm calling it. They're going to fuck up the Theo Hobie confrontation. They put it on the wrong time. And they also fucked up the text from the book.

2 hr 5 min 48 sec in : Even Platt is saving his sister's face. Also where did Todd go? Did he never grow up? I wish Mrs Barbour didn't use Theo like she did.

2 hr 7 min in : The frame where Boris is between Kitsey and Theo. Chef's kiss.

2 hr 10 min 54 sec in : *intense music playing* Boris put his leg up on the table and I burst into laughter THOSE ARE THE FAMOUS FUCK ME PUMPS.

2 hr 11 min in : AAAAA THE FOREHEAD TOUCH AAAAAAA (Theo just knows without looking that Boris is close enough to touch? Theo are you sure you don't feel feelings for him?)

2 hr 12 min in : Theo is so worried that I'm not sure if it's for Boris or for losing the painting again. Omg he just murdered a man. Oh god.

2 hr 14 min in : Theo is spiralling. In the movie they imply that Hobie played a part in him attempting suicide. So wrong. Poor Hobie. In the book that wasn't the case.

2 hr 15 min in : The transition of the Goldfinch into Audrey, wow. Also, is it the first time we're seeing her? The movie started so long ago that I've forgotten if I saw Theo and Audrey in the museum. Boris following right after Audrey? That's a subliminal message. Boris is here to rescue y'all.

2 hr 16 min in : No shit Boris is freaking out right now.

2 hr 17 min in : The diner scene. They're both crying. "Happy Christmas, Potter" - which was of course, I love you.

2 hr 18 min in : No don't you dare compare Audrey and Mrs Barbour. Audrey would never drug her child or use him for her benefit.

2 hr 20 min in : Poor kid bumps into his mom lol. I found it funny.

On the whole

The movie was nice if you'd read the book beforehand. The first hour was steak, The second hour was Korean BBQ and the rest of the twenty minutes were minced beef. If you get what I mean. Weird analogy. It could have been much better. But it was really very nice in some places. Most places I'd say.

I didn't like how the pop songs ruined the mood of certain moments. I didn't like how you couldn't hear the conversation over the music playing. For example in the engagement party when Platt and Theo talked. Or in the diner scene.

Both Borises killed the accent thing. They tried their best. Cut them some slack.

Oakes deserves an Oscar for holding up this movie on his smol shoulders. I was shook at how a kid could act that well.

Popchik deserved more screen time. I'm still pissed they didn't add the Popchik Boris reunion. But then they couldn't make it chronological, what were we supposed to expect anyway.

Ansel Elgort y'all. Theo sure improved his handwriting lol. Ansel's writing is nice. He was actually good in this movie. Better than he was in The Fault In Our Stars. The internet is just mean. The critics too. I will never understand the hate.

All in all, it could have been a better adaptation but it didn't suck as bad as everyone made it out to be. John Clownery should be punished nonetheless. Special shout-out to Roger Deakins for making it work.

#donna tartt #theo decker #boris pavlikovsky #finn wolfhard #oakes fegley #ansel elgort #aneurin barnard #the goldfinch #boreo

60 notes · View notes

ihavepinionthatmayoffened · 6 years

Text

ATTENTION ATTENTION, I HAVE AN INFURIATING STORY TO TELL AND NO ONE KNOWS THE TRUTH

Before I begin, this story is a touchy subject to the people involved so I would like you, the reader, to keep my name anonymous and if you do feel like you know who this story is referring to then I must ask that you keep it to yourself. If my parents found out that I wrote something like this exposing the truth then I might end up in major trouble.

Okay now thats out of the way, I can get to the point. No, my parents don’t abuse me if I made you think so. The topic is completely different and it affects my mother most of all.

To begin the story, my mom and her family have always owned horses but since she married my dad and had my brother and I she hasn’t had much time to spend with her horses. My aunt, her sister, has made horses her life and she owned a barn. My mom sent a few of our old horses to live with my aunt and her family. One of the horses was a horse that I more or less rode in my childhood, her name was Lacy (remember this is important.) Another horse was named Cameo, she and my mother didn’t get along so she sent the horse to live at my aunt’s as a breeding mare. Along with some of my mother’s horses that she couldn’t afford to keep, she also kept tack in her sister’s barn. Some of the tack included some of our older saddles and lances that we used for sport.

My Aunt never really had a good track record with my horse. My mom sent my horse to live with my aunt (I was too young to say otherwise, eight years or so) so they could breed her and get a few foals out of her. After my horse had her colt, they brought her and the colt back home. My horse was a walking skeleton and the colt had a scare on his face where he got his face caught in the fence. I mention this for a reason so remember this.

My aunt decided few years ago that she wanted to take part in a Therapeutic riding program, I will not disclose the name of this organisation or the name of the farm. Luckily there was an organisation that was looking to open a riding center in the area. They volunteered and so they have been operating as a therapeutic riding center a few years ago.

Sadly, they had a barn fire a last month, killing the seven horses including two of my mother’d horses that I mentioned above, one of which we were hoping to get a baby out of.

I know what you’re thinking “Oh thats very sad! But what is the point of the story?” Well kids, this is it. After the fire, my aunt claimed that all the horses killed in the fire were all Therapy horses and they were all hers. This is false, two of the horses were my moms but most shocking NONE OF THE HORSES WHO DIED WERE REGISTERED THERAPY HORSES. So now my aunt is capitalizing on this lie, getting hundreds of dollars from both the riding organisation and sympathetic detonators. It wouldn’t be so bad if my mom got a few hundred to compensate for the loss of two of her mares, but she hasn’t seen a single penny. The story has escalated from there, with my aunt making up more lies about the horses. In an article from a local news site spouting misinformation about the fire.

Lie 1. They started the Therapeutic riding center because of their granddaughter who was sexually abused. First of all, bullshit they started it because the organisation was looking for a barn in the area. Second of all, I don’t know if their granddaughter was sexually abused or not (which im skeptical about because its my aunt and she’s talking about my cousin. the type of people they are i feel like we would have heard about abuse, that would have been the topic all over Facebook, family reunions, Christmas, etc.) but they are using a twelve year old girl who may or may not been through something incredibly awful to garner more sympathy.

Lie 2: The horses were all therapy horses. I've stated this before, no they were not so such the fuck up about it.

Lie 3: The fire was started by a fusebox issue. Although the fire was caused by the fusebox they claim the fuse malfunctioned while in reality it was caused by all the filth and possibly a mouse nest. They never cleaned the barn and they all smoked while inside with bails of hay and other flammable matter.

I would not normally be so angry about an event like this, yes I lost some of my childhood ponies, but it happens. Im angry because instead of telling the truth about those poor horses (Which they called our horse Lacy their “Prize mare” which is bullshit because that mare couldn’t do jack shit. Not to mention she wasn’t the prettiest thing.) they continued to lie and ignored my grieving mother who now has no horse to do her sport, which she has done all of her life.

Im not writing this to keep funds from being given to my aunt, im writing this because I am frustrated. Im frustrated and heartbroken over the fact that my mom has no way to do the thing she loves. Not to mention that she has been in a fit of depression after the fire. The lying is just causing more internal struggle for my mom. So kids, don’t lie about this shit. Nothing can bring those horses back but if you were to explain the truth it might spare some people grief.

#horses #horse #horse girl #horse life #listen to me #this is important #please read #don't #don't lie #story #important #therapy #please #out of lies #lies #fire #barn fire #im sorry

1 note · View note

orionsangel86 · 7 years

Note

I forget if you're someone who's talked about Cas-as-Jesus meta but if you are, I was just thinking how when JC first comes back in the bible, the apostles don't recognize him, and that whole Misha "wanderer" biz just made me think...what if when Cas comes back, the boys don't recognize him immediately? (for whatever supernatural Jesus-y reason)

Hey! Well, It wasn’t something I specifically talked about although I probably mused on the idea following all the imagery in 12x12.

I asked @justanotheridijiton if she knew the origination of the cas-as-jesus meta and being her brilliant self was able to dig up the following posts:

http://orangemeta.tumblr.com/post/157724216160/novaks-jesuscas-yells-loud-enough-to-shake

http://larinah.tumblr.com/post/77938028171/did-anyone-else-notice-the-huge-amount-of

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/149717054935/8x16-remember-the-titans-9x03-im-no-angel

and I also know that @awed-frog has talked about this topic specifically:

http://awed-frog.tumblr.com/post/158554899597/holy-crap-i-just-realized-that-cas-its-literally

but basically yeah, we have had a lot of imagery in the show recently which alludes to this idea of Cas being a stand-in for Jesus Christ. He certainly has the whole “dying for humanity” thing going for him at the moment: :(

At one point or another in this series all of TFW have been compared to Jesus and they all have Jesus meta about them. I think this lead to speculation that Sam, Dean and Cas together basically are the Holy Trinity (the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost) and that is a nice way of looking at things...

http://neven-ebrez.tumblr.com/post/63753207210/the-father-the-son-and-the-holy-ghost-who-are @neven-ebrez wrote about this ages ago so credit goes to her for that one.

But back to Cas specifically being Jesus, yes, this does certainly fit in his current predicament. Following much of what he went through in season 12, if he returns after 3 days (or 3 episodes maybe) from the place he finds himself in (the Empty?!) and is unrecognisable at first in his transformation, it would fit this theme. I do like the idea of this ‘wanderer’ being an AU Cas though. A sole wandering loner angel fighting on humanities side against the nightmarish hellscape of this apocalypse world, a world where Cas never had the Winchesters to guide him but still chose humanity after everything (further cementing how he IS the angel of humanity and a Jesus figure in his own way)

Our Cas has never had the chance to confront Chuck following everything that has happened to him, and whilst I am on ‘team Death’ for the mysterious person he meets in this new place (the Empty?) I would also like it to be Chuck because Cas DESERVES to have that conversation and therefore CLOSURE with his father.

There isn’t much more to Jesus’s story in the bible following his death and resurrection, but if the intention in season 12 was to ramp up the Jesus imagery, to bring us his ‘death for humanity’ followed by his resurrection, what does this mean for Cas going forward?

In the bible, following the resurrection, Jesus appears to his disciples several times, at first they do not recognise him as you say, or believe who he is, but he performs a miracle involving fish and then commands them to spread his word and then ascends to heaven (apologies for this super condensed version I’m not all that great with bible stuff). Applying this to SPN, it makes sense that Dean and Sam maybe won’t recognise Cas at first, or at least refuse to believe he is back - if its several episodes before Cas comes back and especially if they actually do burn his body, its gonna be an interesting reunion where Dean for sure won’t believe him or think he’s a trick or monster or something. I don’t know how much if anything this will have to do with the ‘wanderer’ as I think that’s gonna be in the AU but if there is bleed over I would like to see real Cas and AU wanderer Cas meet and show their differences (especially if AU Cas notices that real Cas is totally in love with Dean).

If Sam and Dean don’t recognise or believe Cas is Cas when he comes back, then just like Jesus did, he is gonna have to do something to prove he is who he says he is. Jesus performed a miracle with a load of fish, Cas wouldn’t need to go so grand scale. He just needs to look deeply into Dean’s oh so green eyes and say “Hello Dean” and Dean will melt. You all know its true.

As emotional as the reunion scene will be, that’s not the part of this comparison that bothers me. Its the ascending to heaven part that does that. Because I don’t want Cas anywhere near heaven and the other angels again. But I can very well see the show doing this just to get him away for another few episodes (as they so love to do).

Trying to think of it more metaphorically though, in terms of Cas’s transformation arc, when he comes back he could be enlightened in some way. his ‘ascent to heaven’ isn’t so much a literally ‘going backwards and having to deal with his horrible family’ again, but instead finding and accepting his own personal heaven. Where he belongs, and resolving some of the bigger points outstanding in his character arc. His home, his family, his loved ones, and faith in himself. That’s what Cas’s peace should be, that’s what his ‘heaven’ should be. So getting him on the road to these things should be the primary goal for his story in season 13. However he gets there, whether by fish miracles, wayward disciples or an unruly new born nephilim manchild, I want Cas's story to be a bit more uplifting now, and a bit more enlightened for our poor angel.

#castiel #destiel #spn meta #castiel as jesus #cas as a christ figure #spn speculation #season 12 #season 13 #season 13 wishlist #asks #anon #Anonymous

40 notes · View notes