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ikigaisvt · 9 months

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Who's the horniest of them all?

in which your boyfriend lets you get a taste of his best friend.

pairing: jeonghan x reader x seungcheol, dom!jeonghan x sub!reader x dom!seungcheol (with a hint of dom!seungcheol x sub!jeonghan) words: 1k content: smut warnings: threesome, dirty talk, begging, slight degradation, slight praising, masturbation (m), cum play, overstimulation, kinda brat reader, brat taming, a little m x m, implied future threesome (again), crush on someone when in a relationship, reader has female parts, tipsy reader (but not drunk sex!), petnames (for reader: angel, attagirl, baby, brat, slut, sweetheart, sweet thing / for jeonghan: baby, brat) note: im sick in the head pt.2... MINORS DNI. you will be blocked. this is the second part of mirror, mirror on the wall but you can read this as a one shot! i thought about writing this part since i posted the first part and here it is,,, i hope everyone likes it!! pls don't forget to reblog and give feedbacks if you want to!

part 1

"Hannie-" you sob, more to yourself than to the two men in the room. You never thought your night would end up like this.

You knew, when you first started to fuck (literally) around with your boyfriend, that he was wild. That he was going to pull out a new side of you, a side you never knew existed- even though he likes saying you were the one to make him kinkier. Classic Yoon Jeonghan.

But what you didn't knew, what you think was never going to happen was Jeonghan inviting a third person, one of his best friends at that, into your sex life- even if it is a one-time thing.

The first time you met Seungcheol, you couldn't deny the attraction you felt for him. He is a handsome man and that is a well-known fact from his friends but also from him. He is confident and that somehow, always pull at your heart string. But no matter how attractive you found him, you could never act on it for the sake of your relationship. You were attracted, not in love, and that was enough to let go of the harmless crush. Until that one night.

Until that one night you had a little too much to drink and you were buzzing with excitement. Until that one night you were sticking up to Seungcheol's side while your boyfriend was sending you daggers from across the room. Until that one night when your boyfriend made you beg for his best friend while he was fucking you.

All of these moments led to Seungcheol, sitting in a chair in front of you, dick out and hard, oozing with cum, groaning every time you moan, your boyfriend fucking you open as you sit on his dick.

"No, no, baby, say his name." Jeonghan commands sternly, "Today's about Seungcheol, isn't it?" he says in a provoking tone.

"Jeonghan, baby- I can't-" You whine out, the shyness making you blush all the way down to your chest.

"Why feeling so shy, angel, hm?" Jeonghan teases, "You weren't shy the other night when I told you to beg for him, hm? Why shy now?" he continues as he kisses down your neck.

"I'm not shy- I just-" You lie in a stutter, trying to get out of admitting your attraction to the blonde man in front of you until the last second.

"You know liars don't get what they want, don't you?" your boyfriend asks you as he pounds into you even harder.

"I-I'm not a liar." you fight back, a moan building up in your throat as you lock eyes with Seungcheol.

"Yeah? You can't bring yourself to moan for him when he's right there, huh? That's too much for your little brain, isn't it?" he says in a chuckle.

"Fuck you, Hannie-" you fight back as you close your eyes, feeling the pleasure build in the pit of your stomach.

"Oh, I so am, baby." he answers in a smirk, "And you're loving it. You're so wet baby, fuck-" he says in a breath, "Who is it for, baby, hm? Me or him?"

"F-For both of you," you mumble in a mewl, "Fuck- I need to cum, please."

"You know you can't do that." Seungcheol answers your plea, stopping his movement on his dick as Jeonghan stops slamming into you, a hand on your hip as you whimper, "Seungcheol decides when you get to cum tonight, remember? It's all about him." Jeonghan repeats as if he is trying to rile Seungcheol up.

"Fuck- yeah, okay." you answer, knowing saying no wasn't an option right now. You wanted this night to happen maybe more than the two boys, no matter what you had to give up.

"Yeah angel, I decide tonight," Seungcheol reminds you with his deep voice as he gets up and kneels in front of you, "You okay with that, yeah?" he questions as you nod, "Speak up for me, baby, would you?"

"Y-yeah, sorry- I will," you say as Jeonghan starts moving again, making you moan out.

"That's a good girl," Seungcheol sneers, "You like what Jeonghan's doing, hm? He's treating you right?"

"Hm, hm- yeah- feels so good." you sob as Jeonghan fucks up into you harder, faster, deeper.

"Wanna cum?" Seungcheol asks you in a smirk, his hand finding your clit.

"Yes- please, let me cum, please, please-" you beg, feeling the knot in your stomach getting tighter and tighter as you feel his thick fingers rubbing you closer to the brim.

"Think you can hold it off for me, hm?" he asks, as you whine at the thought, "I think Jeonghan is gonna cum." he sneers as he locks eyes with your boyfriend, feeling Jeonghan's hand squeeze at your hips.

"N-no, I can't-" you answer, shutting your eyes tightly and resting your head on Jeonghan's shoulder, "I- need to cum with Hannie-"

"Fuck- angel, you're so good to me, aren't you?" your boyfriend asks, his moans getting louder and louder.

"You wanted me to fuck the brattiness out of her, but you're one of a pair, hm? Just two brats wanting to be treated like royalty." Seungcheol chuckles, teasing the both of you, getting you closer and closer to the edge, "Maybe next time I need to tame you." He says, looking straight into Jeonghan's eyes, "Go ahead, you can cum. Both of you." he says, looking back and forth between you two.

You feel like the wave is infinitely coming, the pleasure not stopping for a few minutes even when Jeonghan pulls out, his cum dripping out of you as he sets you on the bed. You're not even able to catch your breath that a set of hands grabs you by the hips and turns you over, ass up.

"fuck- Jeonghan came so much,” Seungcheol says in a breath, “I'm gonna fuck it back into you," you hear Seungcheol whisper, as you open your eyes and reach for your boyfriend's hands as he sits down with his back against the headboard, "Did it felt good, angel?" Seungcheol asks from behind you as you moan out an affirmation, "I'm gonna fuck that pretty pussy so hard."

"Yeah- please-" you sob as you buck your hips up towards him.

"Our slut wants more, Jeonghan." Seungcheol sneers, his hands holding your hips down.

"Then give her more," Jeonghan says, your eyes locking as he smirks, "Hold on tight, attagirl."

“And I’d better hear that pretty mouth moan my name, got it, sweet thing?” Seungcheol says as he thrusts into you.

thank you for reading! i hope you liked it xx don't forget to reblog, please!

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rookiesbookies · 5 months

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Hi, I really love the greek gods au for the boys, could I request some more hcs for them?

I was lowkey so excited to have an ask! Welcome Anon! I appreciate you! You have braved my inbox and im super excited to have you!

I saw you ask and wrote this as fast as I could with some of the other ideas for them that swim around my brain.

Let me know what you think!

Masterlist is pinned on my account as always, and my inbox is open!

Price

He had Hephaestus forge him a special razor so he could always keep his mustache in check after an incident where he tried to use a human razor and broke it.

He wears human clothes, he does have his godly robes but he prefers to wear something that may be comforting for whatever sacrificial woman he has at a given moment.

Has debated no longer accepting the women as sacrifices

for a long string of time the women were just the horniest ones or the village prostitutes. While they were nice for a week or two he did end up finding them homes elsewhere

Gaz says he fosters women like cats.

Price isnt looking at fostering anymore though. This most recent accidental sacrifice has by far been his favorite. She’s so warm, causes no problem, and isn’t like the last one he got who owned 8 cats.

Price likes cats, just not 8 of them.

He also worries Zeus will try to take his woman

Which is why the woman is hidden and protected by Price’s powerful shield from anyone who tries to creep on her. He doesn’t want his woman threatened by Hera.

Hera already knows he has decided to marry this one, as the goddess of marriage and is probably the most proud of him compared to Zeus’ other bastard children.

Soap

He most often wears his godly armor instead of his robes or human clothes.

The human clothes are really only to go see Price, the robes are really only for relaxing in his house, but the armor is for working.

He has to really just follow around his dad, Ares

He doesn’t know his goddess mom, and Ares wont tell him. Honestly he questions if he’s even Ares because the relationship isnt very father-son, they’re more just like Coworkers

He says his mom is probably Aphrodite but who knows

He spends most of his time with Simon.

Simon is relaxed and comes to work with him sometimes. Usually accidentally causing a cold breeze with his presence.

Soap linda digs the dark robes, he hates how shiny his white ones are.

Definitely hides amongst humans when he gets pent up or frustrated from work.

Gods are so demanding in bed, he’d rather have a human.

With Price looking like he’s going to settle down with his newest sacrifice, Soap thinks about finding his own woman. Price’s helps him cook and clean and look like she’d take it with no problems. Soap kinda wants that now

Ghost

He’s a very antisocial god.

Price has tried to get him to loosen up.

Price has offered him the best of some of the sacrifices that he didn’t get along with.

Simon just hasn’t shifted.

He buddies around with Soap, says its because their work is the most similar.

In reality Soap is the one person he favors the most. Keegan is also up there, but he’s no Johnny.

He never understood why Price took the sacrifices of women. He doesnt bother with the mountain god who gets on his nerves. He loves Gaz but his social battery just dies.

He doesnt see anyone loving that.

Not to mention, he’s the god of Winter. His fingers are cold, his robes are a dark black instead of a beautiful white because he’s from the underworld, and he spends a lot of time down there as well.

He refuses to kidnap a woman how Hades had. Says he had standards and is too attractive for that. Tells people he’ll get a woman when he wants one.

Persephone worries about him. Persephone wants a daughter-in-law who can bring her cold son out of this.

Even Demeter worries, and she loves when he visits. She has no more work when he comes into town, she just wish he didn’t reek of death from the underworld.

Konig

You think Konig was tall at somewhere between 6’7” and 6’10”? Now he’s like 8 feet tall.

He’s probably the loneliest of all of gods, he lives at the top of his mountain (which is kinda like the one of Olympus where it was kinda just a glorified hill) and doesn’t get much company, unlike the 141 group.

He does wear a veil because of his anxiety, being a lonely god makes you self conscious, what if all the other gods are much more handsome?

He wears robes, unlike the 141 group, he doesnt try to blend in with humans so he only has his godly robes.

He doesnt often get sacrifices either, since his altar is at the top of the mountain. Its why he doesnt intervene when the war people come often.

If only there was a way to sacrifice someone to keep him company, he’d never need much more again.

Especially with Atlas holding up the world.

Zeus told him he was born from a single drop of Atlas’ sweat hitting the ground.

Konig has never met Atlas. So he wouldn’t doubt he maybe is secretly a Zeus child? However he doesn’t mind not being a Zeus child. Hera doesn’t give him problems and he likes it that way.

He cooks, he cleans. He’d do anything for someone to spend a bit of time with. He might start scoping out the local village and town again. Last time he was disappointed by all the interesting ones being taken, so he stayed at a distance. But maybe he’d try again.

Keegan

Work is always calling Keegan.

As Thanatos says, “humans wont stop dying, birthing, fucking, or breathing”

Keegan doesn’t disagree.

He has black robes, similar to Ghost’s as they’re both from the underworld. He has spent a great deal of time with Simon as he has to deal with people suffering from hypothermia in the harsh winters.

Simon doesn’t cold shoulder him like most others. Compared to the gods from the underworld, Keegan is quite friendly. He just knows people dont live forever.

Or he hasn’t learned Price can protect humans and living things from death yet.

He has a solid relationship with Thanatos. He cant complain especially next to Soap’s and Price’s situations

He hasn’t ever really spent time with the 141 group because he’s worried he’ll have to get up and leave randomly due to his job.

He also doesn’t have human clothes like they do. He often wonders where they came from.

His home is in the underworld, so he worries about a human living there if he ever were to take on a bride.

Maybe he’d find a nice goddess like Hades did. But Price makes humans seem so nice.

He just worries he wouldnt be home enough to care for his human or he’d have to take his human to work to make sure she got enough vitamin D… i mean he can always gives you vitamin D but it’s a different vitamin.

He’s also worried about touching a human because what if he accidentally kills them or something ridiculous like that?

Too many risks. Maybe. Unless someone is brave enough to prove them wrong.

Gaz

He saves a lot of dropped babies from serious damage. He never shows himself, always stays invisible to the human eye, but he saves a lot of babies.

Also saves a lot of kids. Toddlers and young children fall quite a bit.

He has the whitest and cleanest and shiniest robes btw

But yeah he loves saving kids. Especially when he can show his form because adults don’t believe kids anyway.

Especially if they say they were saved by a god.

He also saves quite a bit of animals. Like bird eggs.

He just prefers saving kids.

He thinks they’re really darn cute.

Wouldn’t mind a few of his own

Doesnt help Hermes keeps teasing him though.

Hermes never misses a chance to remind him he came from him jerking it on a cloud and letting it fall to the earth.

Hermes thinks its really funny.

Gaz wouldn’t hate a partner. Nymph, Human, or Goddess.

He’s taken a couple of them to bed and has to say Human is his favorite.

Did he mention he saves a lot of kids?

Would you, maybe, like to save his, perhaps, for like 9 months?

Krueger

Sebastian makes Konig’s world a bit less lonely? However isn’t the most wonderful company.

Definitely defiles the virgins of random towns near by.

Has fun telling them he’s a god and was sent by their towns patron to defile them

Lowkey Hera had to ask if he was one of Zeus

He was actually carved from clay and given gifts from gods

Artemis made him a skilled hunter, Hades made him a quick thinker, Athena gave him tactical knowledge, Ares gave him strength, Apollo gave him impermeable skin, Zeus gave him a big dick, Eris gave him wild anger

The usual

His job is not terribly demanding and has quite a bit of free time to spend with Konig

He has big dark armor and a giant axe. Definitely has a lot of fun with it

his dream is to get a temple of his own and his own priestesses who would do his bidding and pray to him their city doesnt go on a hit list for the gods

He also dreams to get a virgin sacrificed to him.

He isnt greedy like Price when it comes to women, he just wants one. One is all he would need.

He’d never need to go around defiling random virgins anymore, he’d just get to have his virgin at home.

He’d love to have his own servant. He’d treat her well he promises. He’d love an embarrassed virgin for himself.

#cod x reader #call of duty #captain price #ghost cod #john price #john soap mactavish #konig x reader #kyle gaz garrick #simon ghost riley #keegan russ x reader #cod keegan #keegan p russ #konig call of duty #captain john price #john price x reader #simon ghost x reader #soap x reader #gaz x reader

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fatuismooches · 5 months

Note

SMOOCHES!! Hello hello again my cherub!! ૮꒰ ˶´ ꒳ `˶꒱ა

Fair warning: suggestive content!! I mean this in the fluffiest non horniest way possible but I think after some time that fragile!reader wakes up, they’ll feel down and like a burden. And I’m sure that there are always many days where they feel undesired or that they’re not as good looking as they were before in the Akademiya. Making them wonder if Dottore would even want them in such an intimate act. But I like to think that Zandik shoots down their ideas and decides to show them just how much they mean to them. I can only imagine that the first time that they do have intimacy after so many years have passed that it would be so so gentle and soft :(( maybe a few tears here and there from the fact that Zandik still loves them despite the changes their body has gone through and how it continues to deteriorate. And Dottore probably praises them in the way that he can, the Dottore way LOL. They probably couldn’t let Zandik go after that and they probably had him stay in bed with him. (Despite Dottore’s constant protests of wanting to check their vitals and make sure such an act didn’t affect them negatively. But it’s all sort of an excuse as he actually does want to stay 😭!!!) but yeah I like to think their first time was probably so tender and sweet especially with how frail fragile!reader is. And Dottore probably makes them always look at him so they can see just how perfect they are and that there’s no reason to hide from. He’s your husband :( why would you want to hide yourself from the only person you have now in this world. When he shows his love and care for you, he absolutely means it. (Also they 100% got bitten AT LEAST once during it.)

But you can completely ignore this if you’re not comfortable with adding on/writing about it completely understand smooches <33 but I hope you have an absolutely wonderful day and week!! December is almost here!! >_<

-from your dear boo boo bear 🎐 anon! ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

IM SOBBING GOOD NIGHT (Warning: Under the cut for suggestive content, nothing explicit is mentioned though. Also reader has some insecurities about their body/looks.)

OH MY GOSH I REALLY CAN'T I JUST LOVE THIS TREMENDOUSLY 😭😭💗 i know the majority of people write him as being pretty rough and mean during this (which is totally understandable lmao) but!! i just want to think about him being soft!! Especially with his darling fragile lover!! :(

Though you were always a bit self-conscious, it only amplified after you came down with your illness, and especially after you woke up. It was just... genuinely hard to look at yourself sometimes and you couldn't help but compare yourself to other people. There were so much other pretty people in the Fatui, noble too, and Dottore could surely have any of them if he tried. Especially since he was exceptionally handsome himself. But instead, he was stuck with you, the one who was still so plain and ordinary, not attractive in the slightest. At least that's what you thought. So you shied away from your lover as much as possible. You couldn't bear to see the look on his face once he finally saw you for who you were. No one special.

Though Dottore is an extremely observant man so your thoughts won't go unnoticed for long. And he just doesn't understand. Why would you see yourself in that way? He thinks you're beautiful. And that's not just him speaking, no, he can prove it scientifically too (which manages a small chuckle out of you, but he's dead serious.) Even still, you two don't engage in intimacy until a long time later, but when you do it's very... well, uncharacteristically romantic. He's very prepared, considering how he must make sure he doesn't hurt or overwhelm your already frail body with it. Has to stop every now and then because you cry from all the emotions that you're feeling. Because sometimes you still can't believe that someone like him could love someone as insignificant as you.

You're definitely pretty weak after that, but you still muster all your strength to cling to him. And although you're not strong enough to hold him down your eyes beg and plead for him to stay with you. He's so warm too. And his arms are so comfortable and run over the sore parts of your body so nicely. So you beg him to just stay for a bit... just a bit more... well, he doesn't have to wait long because you're out like a light rather quickly. At least now you can't hide your beauty from him. He can gaze at you all he wants, and gaze he will.

I love this so so much 🎐 anon! He's just so *screams* i hope you're doing well my lovely 🎐 anon!! And yes December is almost here hehe (and my hands are constantly being frozen every day now 😨)

#smooches talks #🎐 anon #fragile reader <3 #dottore love notes <3 #suggestive.content #NO ONE SPEAK TO ME IM SOFT #and “at least once”? nah far more than that tbh 😭😭 though hes learned to control the intensity of his bites #hes learned to gently gnaw on you now #he also has a tendency to keep moving your chin to make u look at him ewbwbf

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 1 year

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Comte’s Drama CD: Track Three, A Date at the Mercy of an Extraordinarily Bad(?) Adult

And we are back with our third installment of this unhinged recounting translation series, to perhaps the funniest and lowkey horniest track on the whole CD. In this one, Comte takes MC to a boutique to try on dresses and select something for a party/ball later that night. Without further ado, the contents are as follows:

Comte: Come on in. This boutique is my favorite. 

There is a large variety of designs, so if you see a dress you like, don’t hesitate to give it a try.

Of course, I’m going to have you wear a lot of the dresses I select, so be prepared for that.

Let’s pick a dress for the ball tonight.

From now on, it’s my pleasure to show off the most beautiful person I know.

The way he makes me so giddy, “to show off the most beautiful person I know” no you!!!!! But also like. Lmfao the way he’s so ready for this, you can just tell this is what he lives for and it’s hilarious.

What’s that? Have you found a design that you like?

I…yes, I’ve decided. I carefully selected about ten gowns because I was worried about it.

Huh? ….I didn’t think it was that many….

Well, let’s leave that discussion aside for now and examine each dress in order.

I love how he’s like “okay what did you pick, let’s compare.” MC presumably has like two and he’s like “oh yeah, here’s ten.” And not only that, the second she’s like “uhhhhh don’t you think that’s too many??” he’s like “ANYWAY--” The way he will deadass evade any questions about excess I’m. Iconic. King Shit. Nobody Doing It Like Him. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I love how the energy of their married life is like: MC: I did not grow up rich Comte: YOU GON LEARN T O D A Y--

I think one of my favorite bits about Comte is how he’s like “I’m so normal” while everyone stares at him in sheer disbelief or incredulity 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

First off, this is an evening dress.

The beaded embroidery that spreads down to the hem is intended to reflect the light that spills from the chandelier overhead when dancing.

It must be breathtakingly beautiful

It’s a sight I’d love to see….Though…there is the trouble that this dress is dazzlingly attractive. (MONSIEUR IS CONFLICTED)

I feel I have made it clear (but I must reiterate) how much I love him being the living embodiment of that meme like:

Comte: Look at MC!!!! Isn’t she the prettiest!!!!! I love my wife so much!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Anyone: Wow I like her too Comte: kill bill sirens no.

I can assure you that this exotic dress would suit you without even needing to see you try it on.

A sash belt with wide cuffs and a high waist…

It’s similar to a traditional Japanese kimono from your homeland, isn’t it?

And then…a pretty floral dress with a soft/fluffy drape.

Ah...I should probably put this dangerous looking black lace dress away. (HE SOUNDS SO TURNED ON AND LOWKEY HOARSE IM)

Ah…the more I look at it, the weaker I get…I can’t choose because I think any of them would look good on you.

I find it absolutely hysterical that he tries to hide his real taste behind all these very subtle and feminine dresses and then he’s like. LOOK AT THIS. COINCIDENTALLY BLACK AND RISQUÉ DRESS. NOW YOU SEE IT NOW YOU DON’T--

Comte just give me the dress I’m yelling 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Oh that’s right…if I get all of them, I won’t have to choose…! (EXCITE)

Oh, no…haha, I know (IMMEDIATE GIVE UP)

I’m only kidding. (ARE YOU?? I DON’T BELIEVE U SIR)

But since we’re here anyway, do you mind if we look around for a while together?

I don’t know what’s cuter, the fact that he gets so hyped and then sulks immediately, or the fact that he tries to compromise and be there together for a bit longer. I love him!!!!! Mans is trying so hard to dote on her I’m dying

Yes, leave it to me. I’ll make you the best princess in the world.

Well then, let’s go to the fitting room with the dresses we have chosen…Don’t worry if you don’t know how to wear it.

I’ll help you, okay? (DON’T WHISPER I’M FRAGILE)

---

Come now, don’t run away,

At home, you let me tie the ribbons at the back and help you with your necklaces all the time.

Well the setting is a little different, so I suppose it would make sense that you might be a bit more self-conscious.

You’re blushing all the way up to the tips of your ears…you’re so cute.

I’m telling you right now, don’t even think about asking the shop clerk to help you. (EEEEEEYYYYYY YOOOOOOO)

I don’t care who it is, I’m the only one allowed to touch you like this. (SEXY SEXY O//O)

Aight so there are so many things going on here, and the asides barely even cover it all. Fuwa fuwa about the best princess in the world, no u!!!!!!!! My face was in my hands when he said she was cute, he’s so earnestly affectionate!!!!

This. mf. going into the changing room with her. Without hesitation. Sir that is not how any reputable place of business operates!!!!! I laugh even more because he sincerely sounds a bit put out trying to chase her around to let him help her 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Okay but that last bit when he’s telling her only he gets to do that stuff. Bruh. He goes lowkey savage and it’s HOT AF. Sultry and possessive inject that straight into my veins h e l l o--

…Don’t worry. No one knows what’s going on behind the curtain unless you make noise. (THAT’S NOT ALL I’M CONCERNED ABOUT SIR)

Now then…turn around and I’ll help you take off the dress you’re wearing right now. (SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP)

…You are beautiful no matter what you wear, but there’s no match for the breathtaking sight of you with nothing at all on… (STOP BEING HORNY IN PUBLIC)

I won’t do anything...If only you were quiet?

Hm? The sound of footsteps approaching…is that a clerk I hear? [audible footsteps in the background]

I’m so torn because like. There’s the half of me that’s like “go on” and the other half of me that’s like slaps his little pizza hands. Being a Comte stan is just being torn between scolding him and/or enabling him constantly LMFAO

Shh…forget other people noticing me, are you all right?

(STOP LAUGHING WHY IS IT ADORABLE) It can’t be helped. If you’re so worried, I’ll cover your lips for you. Mn…

Well…I think he’s gone…[chuckle] I didn’t mean to kiss you in a place like this.

Hm? You’re such a naughty woman…to look so love drunk with a single kiss.

We can continue this tonight…tonight we’ll have our fill. Do you like the sound of that?

I gotta wonder what MC looked like to make him be like “bro, you good?” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Behold the consequences of your actions, Comte, you keep wooing and charming her and she’s going to be incoherent by the end omllll. But also him finding any excuse to kiss her eyyyyyyyyyyyy (I will forgive his relentless desire for her because it’s sweet and v sexy, gold star ⭐️)

Also why does that last bit lowkey sound more like he’s trying to bargain with himself than her 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 “just be patient Abel. Bide ya time”

----

…Yes, I think this dress looks the best/most attractive on you.

(HIS LAUGHTER SEND HELP THE DELIGHT) I just knew it would look stunning on you.

Ah but I can’t help but pester you a little. Every dress looks so lovely on you.

No, it’s not just flattery…do you mind if I see you in just one more?

I don’t think I’ve ever seen or heard a man who loves to play dress up as much as he does, should I be concerned??

Sir you are under arrest for being beyond silly goofy cute LOCK THE DOORS FETCH THE CONSTABLE--

Everyone at home says it's just a deranged aristocratic hobby or that I’m turning you into a dress up doll…

The loveliness and beauty of my lover, I can’t help that there’s no end to my desire to see you shine even more.

Thank you…I’m glad you at least understand/don’t feel put upon.

Oh dear, it’s about time for the carriage to pick us up. Since we’ve tried a few things on, I think we should start heading over to the ball.

…But before that, I must offer you one piece of advice.

…Don’t show the defenseless face that I see now in front of any other man. (SO SERIOUS HEART FLUTTERY VISION GROWING DIM)

Understand? …Yes, that’s a very good answer.

Well then, let’s go, my princess.

Honestly I do feel that--while it’s hilarious and somewhat fair the mansion men rib him about dressing her up--Comte does have positive intentions regarding the whole endeavor. It was recently brought to my attention by a friend (I can take little to no credit for this idea) that part of being lovers with someone is sharing what you have. Now this obviously doesn’t mean an exacting 50/50 type of thing, rather that part of showing proper care and affiliation can involve gifts/money depending on the situation.

In the case of Comte who is a man of considerable wealth and social standing, it would potentially appear negligent if MC were to appear at a ball with a dress she’s worn before. Part of being a responsible spouse in his context, then, would be to provide her with nothing less than the most stunning jewelry and top class new dresses. While I don’t necessarily think he’s interested in his/their image in a vain way or even all that obsessed with what others think, I do think he’s concerned about being a good husband and lover. And by extension, he wants MC to enjoy nice clothing and accessories and be able to present herself at his side with confident pride.

Another dimension that’s important to consider, I think, is the fact of his upbringing. It is very likely that in his household growing up, that might have been what he was taught. I won’t spoil the next Drama CD track, but there is evidence to believe he has a number of preconceived notions about what it means to be an adequate partner to someone. Granted I don’t think he’s incapable of seeing things any other way, but I think those lessons from when he was a kid do color his perception. He was likely taught that, as a person of status, he had to be exquisitely mannered, exceptionally talented in some form of the arts, a captivating dancer, a sharp and witty conversationalist, and many more expectations that he had no choice but to meet. And most importantly, he had to be able to convey that to and lead the woman he chose for himself. We have already explored the fact that pureblood vampires are a bit extreme and inhumane in their beliefs about many things. Given how weirdly obsessed they are with breeding more of them, it really wouldn’t surprise me if they have absolute ideas about gender roles.

It almost seems like for him to feel worthy of a relationship, he feels the need to meet those expectations. On some level, it’s like he forgets MC is just happy to be beside him; she’s not necessarily all that interested in him fitting the cookie cutter perfect aristocrat spouse. And in truth, I find that whenever she reminds him of what truly matters at the core, it always seems to give him a jolt. Not that he had considered it irrelevant, but that he gets so caught up in his instinctive/learned behavior that it’s a soothing reminder that he’s more than enough to be loved as he is. I think its particularly fascinating because it really doesn’t feel superficial or naive as much as it does a product of his habits/lifestyle. Yes it allows him to stay informed and busy (beating the bad thoughts away with a broom, mood) but he also loses that depth of connection that he yearns for. (Which he also fears, of course, because of everyone he’s lost. Man Comte tough break being allergic to your own feelings fr, spamming F in the chat--)

And God like. I know I’ve said it before but. The way this man does possessiveness/jealousy????? Unmatched. Enormously attractive. Yessir I wasn’t particularly interested in looking at anyone else, but wow does it set me on fire to be reminded sternly 👀

All right well that’s it for track three, on to the next!

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp mc #ikevamp drama cd #ikevamp translations #ikevamp meta #(if you squint at the end)#fangdad propaganda #man i gotta tell yall ive never been much of a shopper #but he's so hilariously giddy and enjoys seeings the different dresses #somehow i feel like it would be fun doing it with him #i feel like he makes me a lot more amenable to things i was indifferent to/dislike LMFAO #oh abel what you do to me...#all that being said this one was mostly happy good feely times i think #the meta suggestion at the end of this track gets expanded on in the next one so do look forward to that #au revoir friends and until next time~#not incorrect quotes

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mamadarama · 10 days

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OH MY GOD the long response was a very pleasant surprise . i am very happy to give madakei brainrot

they're like. madara bothers keito always because y'know, it's madara, so he just pesters and pesters him to hang out until keito is like "okay, maybe if i do it once he'll stop bothering me" but he just doesn't. and then we have madakei because keito starts enjoying his company aww.

i think that would also evolve into anger or something LOL. keito scolding madara more because he likes him, so it becomes frustrating for him and madara just plays around with that idea. silly

also yeah they ahve definitely hatefucked before . once or twice idk

they're toxic yuri in my head tbh. madakei girlfriends ^-^ they can kiss sometimes as a treat y'know

madakei is a super funny concept i'm glad you liked it 🙏

I LOVE THIS TOO keito eventually warming up to madara is really cute , but im so enamored by the hyper aggressive version that comes with keitos feelings for madara going in the polar opposite direction. madara doesnt really like keito either but not even close to as much as keito hates him . they try to avoid each other but their social circles overlap too much (and theyre in the same class) so they dont intentionally hang out but their paths cross constantly. sometimes theyll be with mutual friends and then their friends have to leave and theyre left alone together so madara is like "im hungry im going to the cafe you can come if you want i guess" and for some reason keito does come along but doesnt really know why (maybe he subconsciously just wants to look at him some more) so theyre both sitting there like "how the hell did i get here what did i do to deserve this" . maybe some bystanders even think theyre on a date. like the universe keeps putting them in succession match type situations and theyre NOT happy about it . the irony and coincidence of it all is pure comedy to me. its like the red string of fate but turned upside down. the worlds horniest romantic comedy. its just, we all know keito has a type. he has a thing for delinquents with muscles that are a little bit scary . madara fits into that type perfectly, but hes also incredibly similar to rei personality wise. hes like if you combined kuro and rei and cranked everything up to 11. and then taking into account keitos relationships with kuro and rei.... suddenly everything he has going on with madara makes perfect sense.

#sorry i never shut up once you get the ball rolling #ask #anon #whiteboard

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wint3r-h3art · 1 year

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pecs biting anon here (⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

THE IDEA OF MY BUM BEING THE TARGET OF THOSE LARGE HANDS,,,,, ans after tenoch helps soothe how sore they are, you snuggle with your face in his thoroughly bitten warm chest and he just kisses and nuzzles into your hair whispering sweet things of adoration while his hands are still cupping your bottoms and you fall asleep like that 🥺🥺🥺

but also

namor, probably extremely pissed off and on the last strerch of his patience, is in the middle of fvking reader so hard reader can barely talk, pulls reader close by the hair and growls in their ear asking if they're worthy enough for his magic cummy, if they get to have him finish in them, if theyre going to answer him because seas know if the smallest thing goes against his wishes hed just snap at that specific moment, and reader scrambles to answer coz they want to please him so bad— or they dont, coz they want to rile him up and make him rougher to the point they absolutely cannot walk for weeks, idk

conversely, because i have a praise k!nk, he praises reader endlessly like yes you're his beloved, youre beautiful and exquisite and you fit perfectly with him, and most importantly you're his and therefore you get all!!!! the cummy he can give you!!! which obviously means it's a glowing flood down there!!!! and namor will be very smug and pleased with his work

(also, as fellow southeast asian, im v v v excited for namor x asian!reader 🥺 and sorry if this is long,, thots are the sustaining force for my sanity ok love u bye! 💕💕💕)

You can’t just bring this over here and not expect me to explode 🫠

Like excuse me, girlie I’ve been thinking about his tiddies and how they feels. I’m a very hands person, so like I deadass will be touching them and squeezing em till he slaps my hand away 😩 that man just radiates warm, and I can’t think of a better way to snuggle with him on a cold morning 😭

Not Namor pulling my damn hair 🥴😵‍💫😵 idk if you seen other thirst posts, but I mentioned many time that it’s a major turned on for me, so like….im already done 😭 Dmckkskw this is the horniest ask I for today, and I am unwell. I need to lie down 🫠

(We love unhinged SE Asian girlie 🤭 ily for that 💛)

#linda answered #namor imagine #tenoch huerta imagine #tenoch thirst post #namor x reader

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felixwaffling · 12 days

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Totally different vibe but I'm gay and thinking so much about him. This post might get nsfw, folks.

I'm smitten. Sure we have our problems, I mean, of course we do, he's dating ME- But FUCK, man. It's like how I felt with Alex except Victor is a good person who actually loves me. He's way stronger than me, which makes me SHAKE bro. He could hurt me if he wanted to, but he's so nice. He calls me things that have me on my fucking knees.

Like. Hooooly shit I can't wait til I get a chance to meet him in person bc when I say I'm gonna do whatever he wants... I MEAN WHATEVER. Like. I will be incapable of saying no. I will be pathetic.

Imagine if we meet in a bar and I get super drunk and kiss him dude that- HGJDHDBFHFHD.

I want him. I want him ON ME. I legit- like. I'm acespec, sex repulses me, the thought of being touched is so scary, but like I'd let him be all over me if he actually wanted me. I'd let him do ANYTHING.

I am so fucking attracted to this guy, and we have so much in common that some days we do nothing but play video games for literally the whole day together... We play almost every night and he puts up with my drunk nonsense, he doesn't complain <333

I wish I could tell him about the shit I'm into bc the only way this could get better is if I get proper dominated man I'm- I'm weak, I'm small, I like hiding behind people and letting them make all the decisions. I'm a dog for this man. I'm property.

FUCK I am drunk rn and if any of my friends find this I'm going to be humiliated beyond belief, they don't-

Nobody knows how much I want this man to fuck me and it weighs heavy, like, I don't even think he knows how I'd kill for him to both absolutely wreck me AND baby me.

Bc on one hand. I'm a little baby. I'm pure. I'm innocent. Treat me like a little goober and hold me and. IDK FUCK MAYBE I JUST HAVE DADDY ISSUES BC I THINK IM ASKING FOR A DILF-

... but on the other hand, I'm a bad person, I'm the worst, I'm whatever villain you need me to be just PLEASE put me in my fucking place I *WANT* you to punish me I'm like literally asking for it, I'm doing shit that gets on ur nerves bc I wanna be RAILED man I WOULD BE SO MUCH LESS ANNOYING IF YOUD JUST SLAM ME AGAINST THE WALL AND BREAK ME WHEN IM A LITTLE BITCH

HhHh.

I still can't believe I'm saying all this shit

I'm beyond wasted. Like. Intoxicated moreso than usual. Typing this so far has taken an HOUR and I got sad halfway through out of humiliation and went to write that first post. But even through all the drinking, all I can really think about is being pinned to his bed 👉👈,,,

,,, it's not just sex either bc I want kisses. Neck kisses. Like. Damn. I want him to hold me from behind. I want to cling to him. Hide my face against him. If he touched my face I would do the fucking meme thing and refuse to let go of his hand. I want to snuggle against him and just. Disappear for a while.

.... I want to cry myself to sleep in *his arms* instead of on my own. I hug my pillows and try desperately to pretend they're him. I see him when I fall asleep, when I'm alone, when I'm sad... when I'm fucking suicidal the thing that stops me is that then I'd have to wait who KNOWS how long for him to live out his own life, and that I might have to watch him fall in love with someone else (the worst thing ever)

If. If I ever lost him idk what I'd do because fuck dude. He's everything. Victor is my world. I want to meet him.

.... I also want him to control every aspect of my life and tell me what to do bc without guidance I drown. Ppl might think it'd be toxic, but I think I need that in my life. I hate making decisions. I want to sit quietly and let him think, bc I'm bad at thinking, and thinking overwhelms me. I want him to hide me behind him and be the one to handle the world so that I can just be *his.*

UGH. THIS IS THE HORNIEST, SAPPIEST FUCKING POST IVE EVER MADE EVER.

#felix kranken is real but hes an 18 year old fat transmasc kid sorry guys #Rambling about my hot ass boyfriend #vent post #drunk posting #vent #lgbtq relationships #embarassing

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scaredgirlhorny · 5 months

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Nsfw ask game: 48, 17, 29. Asking you one of the same you asked me cause I wanna see your answer >////<

17. Do you think you’ll prefer to give or recieve oral? (be honest, no judgement here!)

definitely give just cause i think id get dysphoria from recieving oral

29. What’s the horniest you’ve ever been? What did you do about it?

uhhhh honestly i dont know. usually im not actually that horny when i start jacking off it just depends how horny i get while doing it GSJDHAJHS but there was one time i was listening to like a really cool hypno audio and like i was getting really into it so i like got off the bed and got on my knees and like covered myself in spit and jacked off for like 4 hours <w< like dead ass i was fucking grinning ear to ear and when the audio said to cum i was legit sad cause i didnt want it to end. i still came tho cause im a good girl 😌😌 but yeah i guess that idk if that counts but whatevs jfksgdkshdk

48. Are you a “try anything once” kind of person, or do you know exactly what you want and don’t want?

i will try most things once but a few specific things are hard limits and i know i wont like, but theres alot of stuff im neutral/curious about that i wouldnt mind trying

thanks for the ask 😁😁 also here is the ask game if anyone else wants to ask me questions ::3

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oasis-for3v3r · 2 years

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Relaxation #

Zakk Wylde x Reader

Prompt- a request for a zakk wylde x reader with all smut and minimal plot.

A/N- Sorry for the unnanounced hiatus, I hope this makes up for it!

Warnings- MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. Unprotected Sex, Catholic guilt, kinda slut shaming if you squint. Sin, just pure sin. also bad grammar

Welp, you hate to say it but goddammit you were feeling needy. Again. And its not like you would ever say it out loud anyway.

You were the type of person to be the horniest but never say shit because you thought that would make you a slut. And with your parents holding extremely traditional values, its not hard to pinpoint where you got your guilt from. You know what they say, Catholic School is the best place to send your child to if you don’t want them to become Catholic.

Which is part of the reason why you hadn’t had sex with your boyfriend Zakk yet. Trust and believe you wanted to. But its the way you viewed sex, for the most part you found it hot. But on the other you were taught that sex was like a procedure only used for making children, its not something the women enjoyed and if you did, you were dirty and a whore for liking something so sacred to be used for your own pleasure.

But you couldn’t help it your boyfriend was so damn fine and him playing his guitar during shows made you so damn horny. You were a grown ass woman with needs, and you wanted to relieve it so bad.

But this damn pillow wasn’t cutting it for you. You tried not to be too loud but your pussy felt so.. achy? Not in a bad way but in “if you even so much as breathe on it I will cum.” type of achy. So much that the pillow case was practically soaked by the time you were through humping it.

And you haven’t even cum yet.

You were figuring out what to do next to gain some relief when Zakk came through the door.

Shame ran through your veins, reddening your cheeks and the tips of your ears.

You tried to do a million things at once, covering yourself, hiding the stained pillow, trying to explain the situation to Zakk. Starting and stopping your own unfinished sentences.

“I didn’t know you were coming home so soon..”

“Im so sorry about the mess..”

“ Im really sorry Ill go and cover myself up.”

You say the last part while going to your shared bathroom, but he caught your arm gently.

“Honey, calm down, you looked pretty hot actually” He said with.a glint in his eyes.

“ Thank you” you tried everything to avoid looking into his eyes because if you did you would melt instantly .

“ You wanna tell me what you were thinking about darling?” His eyes were darker and more intense his hands around your hips. Making you feel safe yet wanted at the same time.

“ I was thinking about your hips pushing into me, making me feel so full, while you hold me close and whisper dirty things into my ear.” You didn’t know what possesed you to say that but with him, every single worry and guilt had evaporated leaving you with one primal emotion. Fuckin’ Horny.

When you spoke those words, it was like you opened pandora’s box of pleasures. And Zakk was more than happy to give to you.

He sat on the edge of the bed and patted his lap.

“Come sit right here on my lap while I finger fuck you, honey” You did as you were told, still feeling a bit sensitive after humping the pillow. And the rough demin of his jeans rubbing against your bare clit felt so good.

He took his middle finger and swirled it around your entrance gathering your wetness. His other arm slid across your waist, keeping you from moving. He gave you a passionate kiss, before he rubbed your clit in gentle circles, ELEPHANT

The rhythm he had fingering you felt heavenly with 2 fingers in your wet tight hole sliding in and out, with the heel of his hand continuously smacking against your clit. You were holding on to his arm that was stretched over you, muscles flexing underneath your grip.

“That feels good huh honey? Feels so nice when I finger fuck your little hole like this?” He growled into your ear.

You couldn’t answer with anything except for moans and whimpers. You couldn’t focus on anything except the erotic pleasure that Zakk was giving you.

You were just on the brink of cumming when he pulled his fingers out, leaving you clenching around air. You whined while he undressed, noticing a wet spot you left on his jeans.

“Lay down right here, no its ok honey I know you left a wet spot, don’t worry we’ll leave a bigger one, just relax.” he comforted while putting your ankles around his neck pulling your hips to the edge of the bed so he can hit your sweet spot even deeper.

There were no words to describe the feeling as he pounded in you, it felt so dirty yet so good at the same time. Fuck you were feeling so full and satisfied at the same time. in fact you wouldn’t mind being like this forever. Having nothing to worry about except to cum hard and where to cum. The thought of wetting his face made you shiver around him. Your bodies were almost one, when you react he reacted even harder, creating a push and pull wave effect on both of your pleasures.

You were in constant euphoria whenever he thrusted into you. Your eyes damn near rolling back into your head. He then picked you up and began to fuck you standing up. His thrusts became sloppier and sloppier to the point that you creaming over his cock, shaking in his arms. Within a few more thrusts he became stiff and empited himself inside of you.

You both came down from your high, with him still holding you in his arms. He looked at you with a smirk on his face. “ See what happens when you just relax?’”

#zakk wylde #zakk wylde x reader #smut #hardcore smut #80s #80s icons #punk #classic rock #fanfiction #new fanfic #gutair #My writing #My fic #x reader #stranger things

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prettyboykatsuki · 10 months

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Three things regarding that Jing Yuan fic: 1) and I mean this in the nicest way possible and it’s just an observation through many fics like the Okkotsu and Gojo one, dang you really like dog dynamics in your fics huh. This one was straight up pet play but you know what I mean. 2) “no one will read this cause it’s masc reader” I READ IT. I READ IT AND I LIKED IT. I COULD GO INTO NASTY DETAIL HOW MUCH I LIKED IT BUT I’LL REFRAIN FOR EVERYONE’S SAKE. On a less silly note, you’re one of the few people I know who even wrote masc reader so it’s a blessing, thank you. 3) bro, Jing Yuan saying “are you just going to touch it? A mutt like you should know very well how to sit.” Sent my ass to heaven for REAL. That line? That exact line? I’m a goner, I’ll see you in the afterlife

but this fic was 👍 thank you for the food.

DJKFJDK HELLO!!! SORRY THIS IS SO LONG FDKFJDK

first of all i do indeed love dog metaphors. a lot of that honestly has to do with the fact that dog (mans best friend) has such significant social and cultural reference across the globe. even in cultures where dogs are less popular - they are known first and foremost as an absolutely singlemindedly devoted being to another person. it has parallel to a lot of this prickly relationship dynamics we see in other forms of media. a dog and its master. a soldier and his general. a lover and their deity etc. all relationships that become extra tasty with an added later of absolute devotion.

dogs can be tamed, can be soothed, can be feral or angry. but they're always devoted to something. it makes for sexy, sexy metaphor and i will shoehorn it into everything.

i also like the comparison for something like godhood - but i think religion is not tangible enough at times for the purpose. it has a sense of overwhelming, cosmic horror when you compare love to God. i also like it, but i think dog metaphor is extra grounded in tangible reality. im loyal to you, a lapdog of love, the very epitome of devotion etc.

second. THANK YOU FOR READING, my masc reader stuff is like. indefinitely more niche than my other stuff and i dont have the right audience so i can really only pray people see it. im glad its appreciated and i always hope i do a good job!!

AND THIRD. RIGHT. not to toot my own horn ofc but i remember literally writing it and being like . dude. fdkdjfklfdkj. i had to pause thinking about it like. one of the horniest things to leave my fingers in a while. EITHER WAY. I AM SO GLAD IT HAD THAT EFFECT!!! making people lose their mind w me is the fun yk

#return to sender #hall of fame

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spokelseskladden · 2 years

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hi emil!! my dnd party finally got to play again and boy oh boy did Some Stuff happen

so three of us (monk, ranger, warlock) were at an npc’s house chatting with her while our paladin went to her room in the inn we’re staying at. she immediately got attacked by an assassin but somehow managed to deal 83 points of damage on her first turn which is kind of insane considering we’re all level five and that much damage could pretty much kill my character twice over. so the assassin skedaddled, and the paladin met up with the rest of us and refused to explain why she had a shoulder wound and a bloody sword. the monk was the only one who rolled high enough to know that the paladin was hiding something, the warlock was confused af, and the ranger thought the paladin was doing some kinky shit. we got the npc to patch up the paladin and because our warlock player is super committed to the bit (this is sonic fanfic guy) it somehow became canon in our campaign that his character doesn’t know what sex is despite being the horniest person in the party.

anyway later on my character the monk snuck away from the party to track down the assassin and found someone hiding in a bush in the woods. i decided to grab them from behind and hold a knife to their throat but i rolled badly for my grapple check. thankfully our dm rolled even worse and i successfully grabbed them and rolled at nat20 for the intimidation check so i managed to scare the shit out of them which is funny because the monk is three feet tall. someone came up behind them though and aimed a crossbow at the monk’s head, this person being the assassin that attacked our paladin. at this point i really had to think about what i wanted to do because oh boy lots of danger and nobody else in my party was here. and it was clear the dm was enjoying watching me sweat especially since when i went to grapple this guy he was like “you can try” which is dm for “you’re probably gonna get fucked up” so i was worrying about what to do before i remembered i had the ability to catch any kind of ranged weapon shot at me. i excitedly announced this to the group and then we all laughed at the visible disappointment on the dm’s face.

so i managed to put up a spectral shield thanks to my fun little belt that is also cursed, which caused the assassin to fire at me but i caught the arrow and threw it back at her which dealt a fair amount of damage. a bit later the rest of my party joined me and the assassin saw our paladin and had a whole dramatic moment bc these two once knew each other and there is Lore that the rest of us don’t know. which led to this convo:

assassin: oh how lovely of you to join us. i see you came to protect your friend right before we killed you all

paladin: i thought we were gonna have a fair fight

assassin: you know me too well for that

monk: [interrupting this dramatic moment] i do want to point out that im the only person who has inflicted damage here so far so like, maybe cool it

assassin: [sarcastically] congratulations on catching a thing thrown at you

monk: congratulations on catching it with your gut

also during this session my little brother texted me to inform me that a truck crashed 5 feet outside his school and caught on fire. only he sent three videos that contained a ridiculous amount of smoke with no explanation, causing me to be quite worried that his entire school caught on fire. he’s okay though.

Ok I am still absolutely obsessed over your dnd campaign, I STAN your monk character, and also SONIC FANFIC GUY omg it feels like a crossover to me lmaoo

#asks #your brother has the same energy as my sister #cause there was a bomb threat at her school and I tried to text her to hear if she was okay #and she responded 3 hours later with a thumbs up emoji #as one does i suppose

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favoniuscodex · 3 years

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psychoanalyzing mass response (characters)

y’all sent in a BUNCH so here we go. like... 33 of you sent something in. so these are going to be rather short and not as unique to each individual. i apologize! i just didn’t expect such a big response. anyways! characters will be separate from tropes. please note im doing these characters in a romantic sense because this is, somehow, still a reader insert blog.

you guys submitted the following characters:

albedo, zhongli, childe, diluc, kaeya, keqing, xiao, fischl/noelle/mona, and hu tao

i’ve already done: childe, kaeya, xiao

as for everyone else, if your favorite is....

zhongli. there’s like... three different types of zhongli simps. ones who like his butt, ones who like the rest of his appearance and voice, and ones who really like his personality. typically, you’re pretty calm but for some reason you’re also the horniest mfers in the fandom. half the smut i see comes from zhongli simps so like. yeah. depending on the person, you might have daddy issues, but overall you just want someone who will look at you with soft honey eyes and rumble to you with a kind but deep voice that everything will be alright. his hugs are probably immaculate and zhongli is a retired archon of war. if you’re looking for a protector who isn’t outwardly fearsome, zhongli is your go-to guy. you like the idea of someone tough but tamed, someone who prefers a cup of tea rather than bloodshed, but could win a fight if necessary. you just want to feel protected by a god and honestly, good for you.

diluc. heyo...... my fellow simps in the trenches,,, welcome to diluc hell. you like people who are aloof in the streets but clingy in the sheets. you want to be loved like there’s no tomorrow and you want to return a love of equal passion. am i projecting here? mayhaps. nonetheless, you want a love that ignites you whole, but you also want a lover who would willingly join you to dance in the flames. diluc is a provider type of character, in the sense that he would provide you with financial stability, but ultimately you would be doing more of the providing in the relationship, so you likely desire to be a caregiver type of person in a relationship. diluc is emotionally vulnerable and you likely are too. you want someone who would break if the two of you fell apart because only the archons know how hard it is for you to fall in love and have your heart shattered as well. you want to heal someone else but in turn, heal yourself as well and what better way to do that than through loving the type of character who would burn down the whole world for you if you asked?

albedo, you probably liked the smart nerds growing up. the ones who might not have been the cutest, but kept to themselves and were overall pretty nice. you desire for someone intelligent but still someone whom you could teach something new to. you want someone of importance in your life, yet you want to be important to them as well. with someone as highly respected as albedo, you’re sure to get that. you also love quiet people and are probably a pretty reserved, mellow person yourself, preferring to fill the conversation with silence rather than unnecessary words. you probably like to read.

keqing. you’re gay, probably, and you have immaculate taste. (keqing is my main dps and my fave girlie). keqing is a hard worker and you’re here for it. you want to be a cheerleader in a relationship, encouraging her every step of the way. you seek an independent yet caring lover as heavy commitment probably scares you. keqing is 100% a provider in a relationship and you just really want a mentally strong girlfriend who will pull you in for the worlds best hugs and tell you that everything will be alright. you’re likely stubborn as well, but you want someone who is willing to challenge your ideals. you want to be a power couple and honestly??? iconic.

fischl/noelle/mona - i diagnose you with gay. you like girls. idc if you’re a dude and you submitted this combo of three, this has such powerful lesbian energy, so ur either gay af or a really cool ally. you like the underrated faves and the outcasts of society. ones who are taken advantage of and still stick up for what’s right. that’s probably you as well, too. you just want the best for those who are trying their best as you’re probably trying your best and not getting fair treatment for it either.

hu tao. you’re likely the ‘funny friend’ of your friend group. you likely also have a lot going on beind the scenes but you’re unsure as how to approach it with anyone because you’re jailed within the cage of being the funny friend. nonetheless, you want someone who understands that. enter hu tao, the prankster with a heart of gold who is just trying her best. you probably relate to her far too well, but you just wanna hold her hand and go bother other people together. after all, she literally has stars in her eyes when she looks at you!

#jeez i hope these are ok #axia has no doctorate do not take this seriously #tropes will be in a separate post

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