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inthedayswhenlandswerefew · 3 years

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We Were Something, Don’t You Think So? [Chapter 2: The Middle Of Nowhere]

You are a Russian Grand Duchess in a time of revolution. Ben Hardy is a British government official tasked with smuggling you across Europe. You hate each other.

This is a work of fiction loosely inspired by the events of the Russian Revolution (1917-1923) and the downfall of the Romanov family. Many creative liberties were taken. No offense is meant to any actual people. Thank you for reading! :)

Song inspiration: “the 1” by Taylor Swift.

Chapter warnings: Lots of shouting, if you never learned about the Russian Revolution then here's your mini crash course, references to historical stuff like violence and disease, Kroshka the mule emerges as the only emotionally stable character.

Word count: 4.1k.

Link to chapter list (and all my writing): HERE.

Please let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist! 💜

Taglist: @imtheinvisiblequeen @okilover02 @adrenaline-roulette @youngpastafanmug @m-1234 @tensecondvacation @deacyblues @haileymorelikestupid @rogerfuckintaylor @yourlocalmusicalprostitute @im-an-adult-ish @someforeigntragedy @mo-whore

I wake up feeling harder, as if sleeping on the ground with all its stones and cool indifference has taught my spine to straighten, to endure. This is a welcome revelation. I will need to be resilient, for my family and for myself. I also wake determined to set things right with my rescuer. I am a perfectly charming person, Mother and Papa have always said so; I’m not painfully shy like Olga, or aloof like Tati, or rather dull like Maria, and I certainly don’t run around putting frogs in people’s shoes like Anastasia. I make for excellent company. Surely Ben will realize this and we will become inseparable travel companions.

Outside in the overcast brisk morning air, Ben is already busy tacking the mule. He glances over and tosses me an apple. It bounces out of my floundering hands and rolls off into the woods. This is not an auspicious start to the day.

“You’ll still have to eat that,” Ben says. “There’s no extra food. I was only able to ask for as much as I could justify needing myself.”

“Right.” I go fetch the apple—rummaging around in leaves and sticks and shrubs—and take a bite, even though it’s bruised and definitely tastes like dirt. I beam at Ben triumphantly. I am tough! I am daring! I am enchanting! I can pull my own weight on this journey!

Ben doesn’t seem to notice. He pats the mule’s thick brown neck and smiles fondly at her. “How are we feeling this morning, Kroshka? Hmm? Who’s a lovely mule? Who’s going to take us all the way to the Trans-Siberian Railroad without even one measly word of complaint? That’s right, you are! Yes you are!” He lands a smacking kiss on the velvety grey fur of her muzzle.

I attempt polite conversation; more than that, I endeavor to learn about my dashing yet evasive rescuer. “So, tell me Ben, have you worked for Sir Buchanan long?”

“Four years,” Ben replies curtly.

“And you are…” I think of his notebook. “A…writer of some sort for him…?”

“I’m his press attaché.”

“Ah.” I recognize the French word for ‘attach,’ but not its meaning in the context of employment with an ambassador. “I can’t say I know what that entails.”

“I handle Sir Buchanan’s relations with the Russian newspapers. Drafting statements and briefing him on local opinions and the like. And since his health has declined, I find myself delivering some of his particularly confidential correspondence.”

“Oh, I see. And he could spare you for this mission? It seems like a burden that would be better carried by a man with military or exploratory experience.”

“My Russian is passable. And I can tolerate rougher conditions than most.” He points to a pile of clothes he’s laid out on a tree stump. “Those are for you. There’s a stream out that way.” He flicks a thumb towards the east. “Get ready however you need to, but be prepared to leave in fifteen minutes.”

I examine the clothing: plain and practical undergarments, a heavy wool sweater, stockings, boots, and something unexpected. I hold them up with clammy hands. “These are…” I swallow noisily. “Trousers.”

“Yes. They’re travel attire. Comfortable and easy to maneuver in if we need to move quickly.”

“I’ve never worn trousers before.”

“I thought you were amenable to a…a…what did you call it? An adventure. A grand adventure.” He says this melodramatically, like there’s some humor in it. Like he’s mocking me.

“I suppose I am,” I mutter, still scrutinizing the trousers.

“Fifteen minutes,” Ben reminds me sternly. Then he begins to disassemble the tent.

I trudge off through the woods until I find the stream. I clean myself with ice-cold water, drink it down until my teeth ache, change out of my nightgown and into these strange new clothes—Trousers! Mother would lock me in church for a month!—and gaze up into the cloudy, pastel blue sky that peeks between the fingers of the trees. It is very still here, and cold, and deathly quiet. I try to remember the last time I was truly alone, without Mother or Papa or my siblings or servants or guards within shouting distance. There is none that I can remember; perhaps there is none at all. Out here in the Siberian wilderness I feel unmoored from civilization, diminutive, vulnerable, peculiarly inconsequential. I decide I don’t like being alone. By the time I return to our campsite, Ben is ready and waiting beside the loaded cart. His right hand is resting on a clunky metal monster with ‘Olivetti’ written on it.

“I’m a press attaché,” he says with a mischievous grin. “And you’re a typist.”

“A what?”

“You work for Sir Buchanan’s office as a typist. That’s our story, anyway. You came along to assist me during my audience with the former tsar, and now we’re traveling back to Sir Buchanan’s headquarters in Saint Petersburg. So if anyone happens to ask, that’s what you are to tell them. Oh, and you’re British. Your English sounds clean enough.”

“Alright,” I reply, still gaping at the metal monster like a black box with gnashing fangs. “But what is that?”

Ben’s jaw falls open. “You don’t…?” Then he rubs his forehead, sighing deeply. “Jesus Christ. You’ve never used a typewriter. Of course you haven’t. Great. Fantastic.”

“We always write by hand. My penmanship is flawless, Mother saw to that.” She’s still battling with Anastasia, but that’s a war that may go on as long as the one between the sun and the moon.

“Okay. Okay. This works out, actually. Because I’m not going to entertain you all day. So here is your assignment.” Ben slaps the back of what he tells me is a typewriter, and then waves for me to come closer. He reaches into the pocket of his coat and produces a British passport. Every line is filled out except for the name. He slides the paper into the machine and makes some bewildering adjustments. “So, you insert the paper, set the carriage—that’s this roller-type piece here—and type.” He taps forcefully on the keys until two words appear in the blank reserved for the passport holder’s name: Lana Brinkley.

“That’s me?” I ask doubtfully.

Ben smirks, amused. “That’s you.”

“So you could have given me a better name if you wanted to!”

“But then how would you learn humility?” He removes the fraudulent passport, shakes the paper until it dries, folds it into a neat little square, and slips it back into his coat pocket. “If you’re typing a longer message, the typewriter will ding when you’ve reached the end of each line. Then you use the lever to move the paper down, reset the carriage, and resume typing.”

I nod, but without much confidence. This seems complicated.

“You said you wanted a carriage,” Ben teases.

“Yes, one with magnificent draft horses and velvet seats and preferably no less than two servants. Not…whatever that is.”

“Well, if you’re going to pass for a typist, I’m afraid you must learn to type.” He finds me a stack of blank paper in his collection of bags and trunks, and then climbs into the front of the cart as I get into the back. The trousers, I hate to admit to myself, do make it easier to move around, although I’m not sure I approve of how much they accentuate the shape of my body. The thought of Ben looking at me in them gives me a plunging sort of feeling that is half-mortification and half-thrill…not that he has exhibited any interest at all. “Before we go any farther, do you have anything with you that I don’t know about?”

He means things like the heirlooms I have squirreled away in the large steamer trunk: the jewels sewn into my dress, the photograph. I can sense that he wouldn’t want me to have them, although I’m not sure why. In any case, I have no intention of giving them up. The jewels are the only thing of value that I have to trade if we find ourselves in a desperate situation. The photograph is the only string left that connects me back to my family, my home. “No,” I reply primly.

“Good.” He whistles at the mule and she tugs us through the trees and out onto the dirt road that leads, eventually, to the train station. As we ride joltingly along, the creaky cart wheels bumping over every rock and mound and muddy trough, I practice my typing: very slowly at first, and with only my index fingers. I read aloud as I go, gradually picking up speed.

“There once was a German princess born in the Duchy of Hesse. She was very beautiful but very shy. She had a wonderful talent for playing piano, but would run and hide if anyone asked her to perform in public. One day, when she was attending the wedding of her sister, the princess met a prince from a distant kingdom. They were only children, but they instantly knew they had found true love. They snuck off together and carved their names into a window pane. Over the years, each conspired to marry the other. They refused many suitors and wrote each other hundreds of letters. His family did not approve of the princess’s religion and lack of charisma; her family did not approve of the prince’s distant and troubled nation. But at last it became apparent to all that no earthly forces could keep the couple apart. Ten years after their first meeting, the prince and princess were finally married. And they lived joyously and peacefully in each other’s service for the rest of their days.”

Ben lights one of his hand-rolled cigarettes. The smoke doesn’t bother me; on the contrary, it reminds me of Papa smoking his pipe in his study, in the garden, as he read to us by the fireplace, as he danced with Mother in ballrooms back when she could still dance. It reminds me of home. “I’m not sure if you’ll ever give Shakespeare a run for his money, but I’ll admit I’m marginally entertained.”

I smile to myself, sentimental warmth rising in my face. “It’s Papa and Mother’s story.”

“Huh. I didn’t know your people were allowed to marry for love.”

By ‘your people,’ he seems to mean royalty, and there is some derision in his deep voice. “Well, surely duty must come first. But when love can accompany it, that’s a happy coincidence.”

“And what if duty compels you to marry a man who is, say, cruel? Or dreadfully boring? Or in love with another woman? Or who closely resembles a mole-rat?”

I resume my typing with a new exercise. For each letter of the alphabet, I type a French word that begins with it. “I don’t think that sort of thing happens very often.”

“But if it did.”

I shrug, not especially enjoying this topic of discussion. “Then duty comes first, as I said. But I believe most royal couples are perfectly content. At least nine out of every ten.”

“That many!” Ben marvels sarcastically. “Have you ever considered that your own personal experience, as pleasant as it may be, could be coloring your perception of how the world works?”

I ignore him and continue my typing. Attaché for A, bisou for B, croissant for C, doux for D…

After a moment, Ben says: “You aren’t going to regale me with another fairytale? I’m devastated.”

“I’m busy practicing my French now. Please don’t intrude.”

“You speak French as well as Russian and English?” He sounds impressed; for a split second anyway, just long enough for me to catch it like a firefly in my fist.

“And Italian, and Latin. And I’ve just started on Japanese.”

“But no German? That seems like it would be an easier beast to slay.”

“I’ve always purposefully avoided learning it, even though Mother’s family is German. I never envisioned myself marrying a German. I figured Maria could take that bullet. She doesn’t care, she’d marry anyone who could give her a castle and ten babies and a bulldog or two. I would say she was a milkmaid in a past life, but Mother’s heart would stop dead if she thought I subscribed to reincarnation.”

“Not fond of Germans?” Ben asks. “Well, who can blame you. Half the world isn’t fond of them at the moment.”

“I suppose they weren’t so awful before the Great War. But they’re rather boorish, aren’t they? They always sound like they’re angry. Like someone just stole their horse and they’re screaming at them from the front porch to come back or else.” I smile dreamily as I type. “I’ve always fancied the thought of marrying a prince from a glamorous, romantic kingdom. Maybe Italy or Greece. There has even been talk of me marrying Uncle George’s eldest son David. He’s rather beguiling. Tall and slim. Clear blue eyes like a lake. And he’s going to be the king of the British Empire one day, you know. We could holiday together in beautiful, sunny colonies like the Bahamas.”

“You’re still as important as all that? Important enough to make a marriage of that political significance, I mean.” Ben glances back at me and lifts one thick, dark, inquisitive eyebrow. “Seeing as your family doesn’t have a kingdom anymore.”

This is an insensitive thing for him to say. I frown down at the typewriter. “A wife almost always assumes the kingdom of her husband, so why should she require her own? She needs only sound breeding and a suitable temperament. And besides, we might yet return one day.”

Ben twists all the way around to stare at me, the reigns falling out of his hands. Fortunately, the mule seems to know her own way around. “I’m sorry, what?”

“It has been a brutal few years. The Great War, the supply shortages, the bad harvests…the people are frustrated, and understandably so. They lashed out blindly, at those who didn’t deserve it, at us. But the dust will clear. And when it does, I think the Russian people will come to their senses and realize that they want us back. That they need us.”

“Are you insane?” Ben snaps. “Are you utterly brainless? What’s floating around in that skull besides fiction and languages you’ll never use once you’re married off to some prince who only sees you as a broodmare?”

“How dare you! You can’t speak to me like this—!”

“For years, for a bloody decade, Sir Buchanan warned your father about what was coming. He tried to get him to moderate his views, to give the people more voice in government, to stop murdering them when they protested. And when none of that worked and the end was apparent, Sir Buchanan tried to convince your father to abdicate long before he did. Don’t you understand?! None of this needed to happen! Your family could have fled to Britain years ago, before the animosity against your father spread like wildfire across the globe, and Russia could have established their own parliament like Britain’s and negotiated a peace treaty to stay out of the war and none of us would be here now if not for your father’s selfish, pointless obstinacy—!”

“My father is a good man,” I choke out as hot, furious tears burn in my eyes.

“And he was a terrible ruler!” Ben shoots back like artillery. “He ordered protesters to be butchered, he sent untrained boys to die in some other country’s war, he clung to the throne for no one’s benefit but his own—”

“And what about my benefit?” I demand, still weeping, feeling monstrously like a child. “What about my mother’s and my sisters’ and Alexei’s? He must have feared for our futures if we were dethroned and left without any resources, any security, anyplace to call home—”

“He did you no favors,” Ben says harshly. “Half the country—the country that you obviously have not even a rudimentary understanding of—are moderates scrambling to secure the Provisional Government and disentangle themselves from the war while still somehow preserving their dignity and that of the millions of dead soldiers Russia has already laid on the altar. The other half are trying to instigate a wholesale communist revolution. There is no one, no one, who wants the tsar back. And you better pray to God that the communists don’t manage to seize power before King George gets your family out, or your father just might be guillotined on the steps of Saint Basil’s Cathedral.”

I bolt to my feet unsteadily, grip the side of the lurching cart, and leap out onto the dirt road.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Ben shouts after me.

I take off sprinting down the road, the wind whipping my face, sobbing as I run beneath the shadows of trees until my lungs are columns of flames and my legs feel wobbly and boneless. I can hear the pounding of the mule’s hooves approaching, the hurtling of wooden wheels, the slapping of leather reins. I am forced to slow to a vigorous march as my body betrays me, wheezing and aching and as ineffectual as a woman is so often assumed to be. The salacious trousers have come in handy once again. Who would have guessed.

Ben pulls up alongside me, reining in the mule to match my pace. “Hey! Get back in the cart!”

“I’ll walk the rest of the way to the railroad station.”

“It’s 200 more kilometers!”

“See you there.”

Now Ben jumps out of the cart. The mule, perplexed but not rattled, comes to a halt and waits in the middle of the road with her long ears angled in opposite directions. Ben rushes in front of me and leans down until we’re at eye-level, breathing heavily. I can smell smoke on him, and something else too: maybe cologne, maybe soap, maybe aftershave, maybe just the scent of a man in his prime. His lips are pink and full and soft-looking, I notice, as if for the first time. His cheeks are irritated and red from the wind; the ruthlessness of the climate here doesn’t agree with him. It is the only way in which I am stronger than he is. His green eyes are wide and blazing. “Get. In. The. Cart.”

“No,” I whisper, tears all over my face.

“You can’t just run off like that,” he pleads, less angry now. “Where are you going to go? There’s nothing out here except trees and…I don’t know…probably bears and wolves and maybe even Siberian tigers. You can’t get ripped apart by wild animals. Don’t you want to make it to London? To argue for your family’s liberation? They could find no fiercer advocate than you, of that I am convinced.”

“How would you possibly protect me from a bear?”

Ben unbuttons his coat and pulls up his white wool sweater to show me a pistol tucked into the holster clipped to his belt. “Just in case,” he says, smirking crookedly, lowering his sweater again. “Now I am keeping no secrets from you, and you are harboring none from me. We’re even.”

I nod, sniffling, thinking of my jewels and photograph hidden in the steamer trunk. My words are so strained I can barely hear them myself, my hands are trembling; hell, I’m trembling all over. The possibility is unimaginable. “Do you really think they’re going to kill Papa?”

Ben sighs, shaking his head. “No, I don’t,” he replies gently. “I think the Provisional Government will be able to keep the communists in check for now. I think they will leap at the opportunity to ship the former tsar off to Britain without the potential controversy of a trial and execution. And I also think we should get back in the cart and keep moving now.”

“I’m sorry your boss gave you this assignment and now you have to risk your life for a family that you evidently hate,” I lash out like a cornered animal, hissing and brandishing its glinting claws. “For a grand duchess that you hate. This must be an awful inconvenience for you.”

“It’s rather more complicated than that,” Ben says. “There’s some opportunity in it as well.”

Of course: his leather-bound notebook full of observations, his scrawled recollections to one day build into a famed article about our journey. An article full of what he truly thinks about me. I feel suddenly, violently nauseous. I feel horrified.

What happened to the grand adventure that I imagined? Where did it go?

And all at once, I can’t even remember how I pictured this journey unfolding; I can’t conjure up some rose-colored vision of me and Ben falling into an effortless friendship, flirting lightly and innocently, discovering new corners of the earth together, parting ways in London as lifelong confidants. Now I can only see Papa as he murmurs folktales older than Christianity with candlelight dancing on his smiling face, as he chases me and my sisters around the gardens with outstretched arms and sparkling eyes, as he carries Alexei from one room to the next when my brother’s joints are inflamed and excruciating and useless, as he never unburdens his mind to his wife or children but spends long afternoons chopping wood as the sun sinks into the west and the lines in his pale face grow deeper.

He couldn’t be responsible for bloodshed, for mercilessness. He’s not that kind of man. He’s never been that kind of man.

“We really should keep moving,” Ben prompts.

“Fine,” I fling back as I shove by him. I mop my tears away with the sleeve of my wool sweater, climb into the back of the wooden cart, and sit as far as I can from Ben with my bent knees hugged to my chest. I stare silently off into the forest as the mule drags us towards the Trans-Siberian Railroad, towards Moscow and Saint Petersburg and the Baltic Sea and London, towards the conclusion of this tenuous partnership and the redemption of my family. I am looking forward to soon never having to see Benjamin Hardy again, and yet I’m also not; and this is a difficult paradox to put into words of any language.

We don’t stop until it’s almost dusk. Ben hops down from the cart, leads the mule off the road by her bridle (and gives her an encouraging scratch on the forelock when she hesitates), and begins to set up camp in a small clearing encircled by heaps of frost grass. Dinner is loaves of bread again—even more tough and dry than yesterday—and metallic-tasting water from canteens. Dessert is a hand-rolled cigarette for Ben and a handful of honeyberries I found in the bushes for me. And when Ben grapples with the tent, I come over to help him with it just to prove I can.

Ben builds a fire, and we sit wordlessly on opposite sides of it with the reflections of flames in our eyes. Ben jots down today’s thoughts in his notebook, every so often glancing off into nowhere and tapping his chin thoughtfully with the end of his pen, biting his full lower lip absentmindedly as he sifts through the ocean of word in his head to fish out the right one. Meanwhile, I read my copy of Tarzan of the Apes. I stumble across a few English terms I don’t know—quixotic, cartography, constellations, ruminate—but I don’t ask Ben about them.

After a long time, when the moon and stars have emerged bright and ancient in the night sky, Ben closes his notebook and watches me. At first I ignore him. And then, eventually, I can’t anymore.

“What?” I ask irritably, keeping my place in Tarzan of the Apes with my pinky finger, which is nearly numb from the cold.

Ben’s words are calm, restrained, painstakingly chosen. Firelight is fierce and bloody on his face. “I had two infant brothers die of pneumonia, a perfectly preventable illness had they had access to good doctors and proper nutrition and a warm dry home, which they did not. I had a sister die in childbirth because there was no midwife available to attend to her. I have had friends come home from the war with limbs or half their faces missing, a fate which I myself am spared only because of my employment with Sir Buchanan. You have no idea what the world has been through while you were off playing board games and reading novels in greenhouses and lounging on lakeshores with your idyllic little family. You have no idea what life is like for the rest of us. And perhaps that’s not your fault, and it is unjust of me to resent you for it, and I must learn to temper this wrath I’ve been carrying around in my chest since childhood. But it’s still true.”

He stands, clutching his notebook with hands that are red from the savage Siberian wind, and vanishes into the tent.

#ben hardy fic #ben hardy x reader #borhap cast fic

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tres-spades-hotel · 3 years

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Can I request a kbtbb x SCM crossover where Leon falls for Eisuke's MC. Leon is just the same as he was in his S1 but he slowly starts developing feelings for MC. However, she is completely loyal to Eisuke. Can we get some twist and turns and a happy ending for Eisuke. I will be grateful if you could do it. By the way, Thanks for other beautiful stories that you have written.

KBTBB x SCM

A Lion’s Attempt at Love

LEON’S POV, PALACE IN THE HEAVENS, THE THRONE ROOM

I can’t believe this is happening.

‘And, therefore, the six of you will be sharing the mansion with these humans for three days. I’m sure you will have plenty of fun,’ he says, with that annoyingly knowing smile of his.

‘This is ridiculous, we’ve already opened up that place for the goddess, and now we have to open it up for an entire cluster of goldfish? Absolutely not,’ I retaliate but the trickster on the throne stares at me; the corners of his lips turn up into an even more annoying smirk.

‘It won’t kill you. Run along now, they’re waiting for you all,’ he says, and a bright light envelopes us. The warmth of it doesn’t reach my heart, it just irritates me further.

Opening my eyes, five men sit at the luxury couches of the main room. One in particular, with brown hair, sits in my spot in the middle. His arms outstretch against the top of the couch while a young woman sits beside him, fidgeting nervously with her thumbs.

Karno turns around as we appear, and he smiles at me.

‘Hey, did the King tell you?’ he asks. The heads of the goldfish look up with curiosity.

‘Yeah, he did that bastard-hey! Don’t touch that!’ the scorpion marches over to a blonde-haired goldfish holding a Punishments document.

‘Oops, guess the work is off limits,’ he says as Scorpio snatches back the piece.

‘Um, let’s all just calm down and talk. My name is Mitsunari Baba! You may call me ‘Baba’, ‘Mitchy’, or ‘Mitsunari’ if you want,’ the man in the black hat says with such joy it almost makes me want to actually turn him into a goldfish.

‘How about I call you ‘idiot’ instead?’ Scorpio says, huffing away to the chair in the corner.

I step forward further into the room, amused. ‘I didn’t realise you were in the habit of calling yourself out like that. I wouldn’t be trying so hard to annoy you if I knew,’ I respond, and with some sort of sick delight, watch the fumes rush out his ears in anger.

‘You stupid lion, shut up!’ he shouts back.

I sit down and cross my legs. ‘He’s a scorpion so he’s all bark and poison with no bite,’ I reply.

‘Why you-‘ he attempts to pounce but Dui and the fish hold him back.

‘Scorpio, stop!’ Dui says.

‘Um, let’s sit down. Vega, Altair, will you both provide us with some tea?’ Hue says, lightly pushing them out the door.

‘Here, I’ll introduce the others. Next to me is Ota Kisaki. The sleepy looking one is Mamoru Kishi, the scary looking one is Soryu Oh and the pretentious looking one is Eisuke Ichinomiya. The lovely lady sitting next to Eisuke is Vivian Grier, Eisuke’s fiancée.’

‘It’s nice to meet you all and we apologise for our King’s disturbance in your lives,’ Hue says. The six goldfish look at each other with wary looks.

‘It’s fine. Our lives were becoming boring anyway. At least we can pass the time with this,’ the man named Eisuke says. There’s a powerful glint in his eyes which I recognise in myself.

‘So no harm done! And all of you?’ the red suit goldfish says.

‘Well, I’ve already introduced myself. The one shouting murder and terror is Scorpio, the god of Scorpio, he’s the Vice Minister of the Department of Punishments; next to him is Dui, the god of Gemini and that is Ichthys, the god of Pisces. They are part of the Department of Punishments in the Heavens.’

The scorpion huffs away in distaste while Dui and Ichthys smile and wave.

‘This is gonna be fun!’ the fish says.

‘Ichy! You can’t do anything while they’re here,’ Dui frowns at him.

‘What does that mean?’ the older looking goldfish asks. His sleepy demeanor reminds me of Aigo.

‘Nothing!’

‘He’s a prankster,’ Scorpio answers with a scowl. Three out of six frown in disapproval while the other three seem to accept this fact.

‘How much harm can you do, pranking people?’ the blonde one asks.

‘He blew up the palace once,’ Hue answered indifferently. Their eyes widen.

‘By the way, who names their child, Scorpio?’ he asks again.

‘The King,’ the six of us reply, causing Scorpio to crinkle his face in disgust.

‘All I suggest is that you be careful. The one who answered is Huedhaut, the god of Aquarius; over there is Teorus, the god of Taurus and this,’ he points to me, ‘is Leon, the god of Leo, the Chief Minister of the Department of Wishes,’ Karno says it with such pride it nearly makes me smile.

‘It’s nice to meet you all,’ Hue says.

‘Hello!’ Teo also says.

Everyone turns towards me as I look up. I somehow lock eyes with the woman, but she quickly averts her gaze with a faint blush on her cheeks.

‘Leo,’ Karno whispers.

‘You want me to introduce myself? They’re just goldfish,’ I say, continuing to stare at her.

‘Goldfish?’

‘All humans are the same to us, just as all goldfish look the same and flock to beings more powerful than they are,’ I answer.

‘What nonsense. What about variability? Individuality?’ the dark-haired ‘scary looking one’ says with a frown.

‘Doesn’t matter. You’re all the same,’ I repeat, and he scowls at me as if I’m the only one who believes it. Everyone in the Heavens does.

‘I don’t care what happens during this week,’ the man sitting next to her suddenly begins, ‘there’s only one rule you will abide by,’

‘Oh ho, giving gods orders? You must be special,’ I say.

‘Yes, I am,’ he smirks and crosses his arms. ‘And you will follow this rule until we leave: my fiancée is off limits.’

‘Eisuke!’ she exclaims, for the first time she has been here.

‘You should listen to him, Eisuke always has his way, with gods or humans,’ the dark-haired man says. All the other humans nod furiously in agreement.

‘I believe that rule applies to the sex fiends in the room,’ Hue points out, looking at Teo and I specifically.

‘Me? I haven’t done anything yet!’ Teo protests.

‘As if I would bother pursuing a human, let alone a woman like her,’ I say. Her face scrunches at my insult.

‘Good, then we’ll have no problems living together,’ he says, taking out a rectangular piece of technology and begins tapping away at it.

Vega and Altair finally return with tea. The woman stands up and hurries over to them, taking the tray of teacups out of Altair’s hands.

‘Oh, thank you, but I can-‘ Altair begins.

‘No, it’s okay. It’s my job to provide refreshments,’ she says, placing the tray onto the coffee table.

‘Really?’ Vega asks. The god children look up at the woman with sparkles in their eyes.

‘Yes, I work at the hotel my fiancé owns as a maid,’ she answers, smiling with pride.

‘Wow, that’s so cool! What kind of things do you do?’ Vega asks with excitement. The woman casually talks and pours the tea as if she had been doing it for years.

‘Well, I work with other maids to tend to our guests who stay at the hotel. I clean the rooms they stay in by changing the bed sheets, dusting, and replenishing amenities,’ she takes the teacups and starts handing them out, ‘that means I replace all the empty bottles and towels and other things the guests use which we supply.’

She hands me a cup and our fingers touch briefly.

‘I also have an extra job as a maid, which is to clean the penthouse where us six live in the hotel,’ she continues, handing a cup to Karno who smiles a ‘thank you’ to her which she returns.

‘That’s a ‘very important people’ area for those who pay enough money to live in luxury,’ she says.

‘Oh, so you consider yourself a ‘very important people’?’ I interrupt with a question. She briefly looks at me but then shrugs her shoulders.

‘Not really. I’m pretty normal actually.’

‘Don’t be so modest, Vivian. You’re the only one who managed to squeeze herself into Boss’ little heart,’ the man named ‘Baba’ says. His knowing smile reminds me of a certain trickster King.

‘And you’re the only one who can manage being around this lot,’ the sleepy one named ‘Mamoru’ adds. He suddenly yawns. ‘Hey, there any beds to sleep in? I’m tired.’

‘You’re always tired,’ the dark-haired man, Soryu, says.

‘Shut up, it’s been a busy day!’

‘No it hasn’t. We’ve been to see the King and that’s it,’ Soryu argues.

‘You think any of this is normal?’

‘That’s enough.’ Eisuke orders.

‘Haha, they sort of remind me of you and Scorpio, Leo,’ Karno laughs, and I scowl at him.

‘Don’t you compare me to a pair of clownfish,’ I reply. I watch the woman sit next to her fiancé, smiling.

‘Hey!’

‘Pair of clownfish? Please, don’t group me in with them,’ Soryu says with frowning eyebrows.

‘We actually like to call these four the peanut gallery,’ Eisuke tells us.

‘Makes sense,’ Scorpio says, pushing a stack of documents onto Ichthys. ‘Will you hurry up and finish these already? Zig has been waiting for these!’

‘I’m sorry, I was going to do them but then the King called us to see him!’ Ichthys protests but is dragged away by Scorpio.

‘It’s nice to meet you all,’ Dui quickly says before rushing out to follow.

‘Hue, show the humans the guest rooms in the mansion,’ I order, and he nods in response. ‘But first,’

Everyone looks at me as I stand up and saunter over to the woman. She looks up and slowly stands up to face me.

‘You will work in this mansion as my maidservant.’

THE NEXT DAY

LEON’S POV, THE GOD’S MANSION, HIS CHAMBERS, 9AM

A knock at the door wakes me from my daze. I snap my fingers and the doors open.

‘Um, hello?’ Vivian asks, slowly walking into my room.

‘Open the curtains,’ I order her and lie back down.

‘Okay,’ I hear her respond. She shuffles across the room and soon the sunlight fills my bedroom, dispelling the darkness. I sit up and watch as she does the same to the other set of windows.

‘Do gods sleep?’ she asks.

‘Recreationally we can, but it’s not a requirement. What’s that?’ I ask, seeing a tray of tea and biscuits on the table.

‘Well, it’s morning. I figured you would order me to get you breakfast,’ she answers, pouring tea into the cup.

‘Gods don’t eat either,’ I say.

‘But you can, recreationally, right?’ she answers, looking back at me with a smile. She places the cup down as I stand behind her.

‘Do you need anything else?’ she asks. When she turns around, she jumps back but the back of her legs hit the chair. My finger lifts her chin up so that I can take a look at her face. A faint blush graces her skin. For a moment, she’s completely dazzled by my presence but that fades quick. Her small hand wraps around my wrist and pushes it away.

‘Oh? Don’t want to be touched by a god?’ I ask.

‘No. I only want to be touched by the man I love most in this world,’ she responds and pushes past me to leave.

‘Love doesn’t mean anything. You’ll come back to me begging for pleasure,’ I say with a smirk on my face, but it fades when I see pity in her eyes as she turns around.

‘How does a god who grants wishes to humans not understand how important love is? I really feel sorry for you if you don’t believe love means anything.’ Vivian walks away, leaving me with cooling tea and annoyance.

I continued working with Karno looking over my shoulder, but I couldn’t concentrate. Her words echoed in my mind and the way she looked at me didn’t fade. Love is based off of nothing but need. And I don’t need it. I’ve seen love destroy many gods in my life: my mother and father, Hue and Clotho and then Aigo with that goddess Phione. Men like Teo and Tauxolouve, even that sex fiend Partheno, play games and have as many goddess’ as they want because they don’t see love romantically either. Love has messed all of us up in some ways.

VIVIAN’S POV, THE MANSION COURTYARD, 13PM

I don’t know why Eisuke agreed to my being a maidservant to Leon. I guess he’ll tell me eventually. As soon as I left his room, I leaned against the wall to take a breath. He stood so close to me, and I could feel his warmth and powerful aura. But it didn’t make me feel the same way Eisuke does when he’s beside me. Eisuke makes me feel safe and loved, Leon makes me feel cornered, like prey.

‘Vivian, hand me that document,’ Eisuke asks, holding out his hand while staring at his laptop. The outside breeze cools me down as I pick up the piece of paper.

‘Here you go,’ I say. Eisuke looks up at me and narrows his eyes.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing. I was just thinking about how beautiful the courtyard is,’ I answer, sitting down opposite him. Eisuke continues to stare at me. I sigh, knowing that I can’t hide anything from him.

‘Okay, Leon came onto me and failed in the morning, that’s it,’ I answer.

Eisuke scowls at my answer but then he leans back into the chair and folds his arms across his broad chest and raises an eyebrow. ‘He failed?’

‘I told him that I love you and only want to be touched by you,’ I respond, but I feel my face heat up in embarrassment.

‘Good, but you still need to be careful around him,’ he orders which I nod in agreement. He leans in again and rests his elbows on the table.

‘Eisuke, can I say something?’

‘What?’

‘He sort of reminds me of you. Now hear me out,’ I begin, holding out my hands to stop him from interrupting. ‘I know that we’ve only been here for a day but from this one interaction I’ve had with him, Leon is as confident and sexy as you are. You are both so sure of yourselves and in your abilities.’

‘But? There’s more,’ Eisuke presses on, leaning over the table.

‘He said that love isn’t important. I guess it reminded me of back when we first met,’ I finish, running my fingers over the grooves in the table.

‘He’s wrong, you taught me that.’ Eisuke takes my hand in his and runs his thumb over my engagement rings. His touch fills me with warmth, so I place my hand over his and smile. Eisuke takes my other hand and pulls me to sit on his lap.

LEON’S POV, THE MANSION COURTYARD, 13:30PM

Instead of snapping my fingers to cause the sound of bells in her head, I decided to go out looking for her in a vain attempt to avoid Karno and Hue. As I open the doors to the garden, I hear faint giggling. Walking further into the yard, I see her sitting on his lap, with his back to me. She gives him fleeting, playful kisses and her sweet voice echoes in the empty space.

Why did I just think ‘sweet’ voice?

I shake my head and saunter into the middle of the garden.

‘You two are quite a shameless pair of goldfish,’ I begin, but I feel myself raising an eyebrow when neither attempt to move from their position.

‘Pfft, then you don’t know me very well,’ he answers.

‘I don’t “get to know” goldfish of any kind.’

‘You wouldn’t because you don’t bother yourself in knowing about us as humans, but you do care about our particular brand of entertainment,’ he argues which makes me huff in response.

‘Your fiancée is my maidservant,’ I point out which causes her to stand up. Vivian folds her hands over each other and smiles at me with a business-like expression, different to the lovable-wife I watched a few moments ago.

‘Did you need anything? I didn’t hear any bells ringing,’ she asks.

‘That’s because I didn’t.’ I turn around and leave them to their ‘love’. As soon as I walk back into the foyer, Karno comes out of the dining room.

‘There you are, I’ve been looking for you everywhere,’ he says. ‘You need to read and sign these otherwise we can’t file our year’s work in the department.’

I feel my face crinkle at the thought of paperwork and turn around to the main doors.

‘Leo, you can’t run away from me, not unless you want to make me cry, which would be terribly wrong of you,’ Karno continues, putting a firm hold on my right shoulder. ‘Come on. Humans have this saying you know, it’s called-‘

‘Work first, play later,’ I finish for him. We head up the staircase into the hallway.

‘Exactly! Look, I know lions sleep for 20 hours a day, but you can’t blow off your work when they need your particular signature,’ Karno says, handing me a folder.

‘Okay, I get, I understand your point. Can you stop talking now?’ I tell him, turning the corner.

‘I saw you outside talking to the humans, Eisuke and Vivian. What were you telling them?’ he asks.

‘Nothing, I caught them kissing and decided to embarrass them,’ I answer.

‘And?’

‘They weren’t.’

‘Many humans of their stature aren’t embarrassed to be physically intimate in public. You know the gods aren’t any different in that regard,’ Karno says.

‘I know. I wanted to see what her reaction was. She seemed like the nervous, wouldn’t-want-to-be-exposed-in-public type but she hardly reacted when I called them shameless,’ I say.

‘Wow. I guess she must be used to it,’ Karno says. He pats me on the back and continues walking down the hall. I stand outside my bedroom doors, thinking about her face when she was laughing and smiling, happy. It made me feel, something.

THE DAY AFTER THAT

LEON’S POV, HIS BEDROOM, 4PM

When my power to give pleasure came about when I was young, my mother hid me away from the heavens to prevent any ‘accidents’ but they always brought me out to parties and social gatherings to show off how powerful they’re only son was becoming. She didn’t even raise me, the servants of our household did. They couldn’t love me because-

‘Leon? I brought you some tea,’ Vivian’s voice pushes through my closed doors. The images of my childhood fade as I sit up on my bed.

‘Um, Leon?’ her voice pushes through again, hesitating. I rub away my past off my face and snap my fingers. The doors creek open, revealing her standing with a tray. The evening sun’s rays holds her figure in a basking glow of gold. She smiles at me and walks in. The shadows on the floor creep up towards her, threatening to plunge her into darkness. For some reason, I nearly jump out of bed.

‘Are you okay? What happened?’ she asks, slightly disturbed at my behaviour. Like I am.

‘I’m fine.’ I sit down at the small table. ‘Join me,’ I order, and she looks at me briefly. Her eyes seem to search mine for a clue of my motives. Hers are a normal shade of brown. No stars, no flecks in the pupil, Vivian has regular human eyes but somehow, I see something other than love and pity and excitement as she looks at me.

She finally shrugs her shoulders and sits down opposite me, pouring herself and I, a cup of tea.

‘Are you always comfortable being intimate with him?’ I ask suddenly, after taking a sip.

‘We’ve been together for years. I wasn’t at first, but that’s only because I had never been with a man like Eisuke before. I got used to it and now I enjoy it,’ she answers.

‘Only with him?’ I ask again. She smirks at me before drinking a sip of tea.

‘Yes, only with Eisuke. I guess you’re the type to take what you want and leave straight after?’ she asks in return. Vivian places the tea down and leans back into the chair, crossing her legs in the process.

‘Goddesses throw themselves at me because of my powers,’ I say in response.

‘The ability to give pleasure, right?’

‘Yes.’

‘Is that why you asked about me in the morning? About giving me pleasure?’ she asks.

‘I was curious. Human’s act based on needs.’

‘My needs are being met, there’s no doubt about that,’ she says, laughing.

‘Oh?’

‘Believe me. You know, Eisuke was like you when I first met him,’ she says, changing the subject. Her finger slowly traces the curve of the lip of the cup.

‘A god?’

‘Ha, very funny. No, a man who had everything he could ever want in his life, but no one to love him. He didn’t think love was necessary either,’ she continues. Her eyes glaze over in reminiscence.

‘Until he met you?’

‘I suppose so. By the way, is it okay if I use the kitchen here to cook for dinner?’

‘You really like to jump, don’t you? Fine, I assume it’s because the others like to eat ‘cooked’ meals rather than magically appearing ones,’ I say.

‘That is true actually. Thanks! Anything in particular you want?’ she asks.

‘I’m a god,’ I reply.

‘Yeah, yeah. That doesn’t mean you don’t eat, ever,’ she says, waving her hands in dismissal.

‘Meatballs,’ I mumble.

‘You like meatballs? Beef scrunched up into a ball and cooked in sauce?’

‘Don’t mock me. I said what I said. Now go away, I have work to do,’ I say.

‘Work being, laying in your bed?’ she asks, her lips slowly curve up into a familiar smile.

‘Ha, ha, very funny.’

LEON’S POV, HALLWAYS OF THE MANSION, 7PM

The smell of cooking fills the entire mansion. As I walk down the hallway to the main room, I turn the corner to see the others standing outside the dining room. Hue notices me and waves me over.

‘What’s going on?’

‘It smells so good. Do you think they’ll share the food?’ Ichyths asks.

‘We could ask,’ Dui suggests.

‘Do they look like the kind of humans who share?’ the scorpion walks up to us.

‘They seemed pretty nice,’ Teo says.

‘You’re probably better off asking the woman who’s cooking the meals,’ Hue says.

‘That’s right,’ her voice echoes out of the room. When I open the doors, Vivian is laying the table with plates. She looks at us as she places a fork down.

‘I think I made enough for everyone,’ she says.

‘Ah, I was wondering why we had to wait so long. You made some for the gods as well?’ Eisuke’s voice suddenly sounds from behind us.

The rest of the humans arrive and begin sitting down as if they have lived here for years. Before her fiancé can sit down at the head of the table, I take his spot. I look up to see him scowling at me.

‘You live in our building, you live here by our rules.’

His eyebrows furrow but he doesn’t respond. Instead, Eisuke walks to the other end of the table and sits directly opposite me.

‘Vivian,’ he says, and she picks up a spoon.

‘Vivian,’ I say, and she turns around. ‘Before you are his fiancé, you’re my maidservant.’ I gesture to the plate of meatballs by me with my chin. I lean back casually as I watch the wrinkles in his face deepen. In my peripheral view, everyone’s eyes switch back and forth between Eisuke and I, but I don’t look away from his gaze. After a few moments of silence, she places the spoon down slowly and speaks up.

‘Everyone can sit down and serve themselves with whatever they like.’

As soon as she walks past me, I open my mouth. ‘Choosing the middle ground doesn’t make you a saint.’

‘Being a god doesn’t make you all powerful,’ she fires back. ‘I control my own actions, regardless of my “employment” anywhere.’ Vivian heads into the kitchen.

‘Is it just me, or did it get really hot in here all of a sudden?’

‘Shut up!’

THE NIGHT BEFORE

LEON’S POV, HIS SECRET GARDEN, 8PM

Since the dinner, I’ve been doing all I can to annoy Vivian and Eisuke. But it seems all I’ve done is bring them together even more. He seems to trust her to protect herself from me.

As I walk downstairs, she comes out from a doorway at the bottom of the foyer. We make eye contact, and she looks at me curiously. I simply pass her and open the door revealing a black darkness.

‘Um, Leon?’ she asks, hesitating.

‘Follow me if you’re up for it,’ I say, and walk through. The scene changes to a field on Earth. Similar to the one in the Heavens, its calming nature lets me breath. A rustling of petals and grass tell me she did follow.

‘Curiosity kills the cat, you know?’ I speak. Gentle footsteps creep up towards me.

‘Good thing I’m not a cat then,’ she replies, standing beside me.

‘No, you’re a goldfish,’ I answer back and turn my head to face her. I see her smile and look down. Vivian slowly lowers herself to sit down on the ground and she tugs on the hem of my jacket.

‘Gods don’t-‘

‘Oh, shut up and sit down,’ she says in a playful manner.

‘Fine.’ We sit there, watching the moon and the lake for what felt like a lifetime.

AN HOUR LATER

Leon doesn’t like to kiss, which is stupid because kissing is great!

Teo’s words echo in my mind over and over. We have been sitting for a while and talking and arguing about gods, humans, and just life in general. Right now, she’s trying to humiliate me by suggesting I believe in love.

‘If you don’t want a woman to kiss you, then it doesn’t mean you believe love is unimportant, it means that you do feel that love is important and you’re afraid to take a chance to be loved and give love.’

‘That’s ridiculous,’ I reply.

‘Sure, you can deny it all you want, but it’s true. You’ve been deprived of physical and emotional love. And now, you have begun craving it, in me.’ She sighs and stands up, smoothing down the crinkles in her dress. ‘I can’t give you what you want, whether you’re a god or not.’

‘I don’t want anything from you,’ I begin, and stand up.

‘Oh, shut up! You and I both know I’m right!’ she shouts. ‘I love Eisuke, with all my heart and I’m sure there’s someone out there for you. You never know, maybe you’ve met her already or maybe she’s just not born yet. You are a god, after all. You’ve got an eternity to find her, but she’s not me, and never will be.’

The next thing I know, I’m holding her in my arms. Trying to will her into staying. She feels small in my arms. No, she feels perfect in my arms. Her body shakes with nerves, so I rub her back to calm her down. Vivian sighs from frustration and I feel her arms reluctantly wrap around my torso. Her warmth fills me as the breeze rustles the flowers on the ground.

‘Leon,’ she begins to say.

‘I know.’ I abruptly pull away and quickly snap my fingers. The scenery changes to the empty courtyard of the mansion. ‘Thank you,’ I say. Turning, I leave her ‘love’ behind.

THE NEXT MORNING

LEON’S POV, OUTSIDE THE MANSION ENTRANCE, 9AM

‘Okay Boss, I’ve put all the suitcases into the back,’ Baba says.

‘Kishi! Why are you stretching your entire body out? We can’t sit inside now!’

‘You stupid slacker, move over!’

‘Hey! Don’t push!’

The four humans argue and push inside the vehicle while Eisuke pinches the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

‘They somehow get dumber as time moves on,’ I say, moving to stand next to him.

‘They were always dumb,’ he replies, chuckling. ‘Hey! Stop squealing and get in!’ he shouts to them. Vivian finishes hugging the little godchildren and stands up. Vega suddenly runs over to us and hugs Eisuke, wrapping her little arms around his waist. I raise my eyebrow while his hands hover in hesitation before beginning to pat her head awkwardly.

‘I’ll miss you, Mr Eisuke!’ she says, leaning her chin up to look at him. He looks away shyly before patting her head again.

‘You know where to find me if you continue to miss me,’ he answers.

‘She’ll be too busy for that,’ I say.

‘Lord Leon! You’re so mean!’ she cries out at me before turning back to him. ‘Thank you for playing with me, Mr Eisuke!’ Vega squeezes him tight before running off inside the mansion with a furiously blushing face.

‘I think she has a new crush. That’s too bad for you, Leon,’ Hue says with a smirk and turns to follow her inside with Altair and the others.

I roll my eyes and face Eisuke. His thin lips slowly curl up into a smirk.

‘She belongs to me,’ he says.

‘Pfft, she certainly knows what she wants,’ I respond, glancing at the beautiful figure leaning against the vehicle with crossed arms and interest. She begins to smile at me.

‘I’ll be watching,’ I say.

‘Well, I hope you enjoy what you see,’ he chuckles.

‘Make her happy. Even more than you already do. And yes, this is a direct order from a god,’ I demand with a smirk on my face.

He looks at me for a moment, then he holds out his hand. My hand takes his in a firm grasp and shake it.

‘I will.’ For the first time since I met him, Eisuke genuinely smiles at me. He heads for the limo and Vivian quickly takes his place in front of me. She bites the corner of her lip and looks down at my feet before looking up again.

‘I didn’t mean to make you think-‘ she begins.

‘You didn’t,’ I interrupt. Vivian gives me a lopsided smile.

‘Well, to be honest, I had fun as your maidservant,’ she says.

‘Even though most of the time you gave me attitude? Don’t forget, you’re still a goldfish,’ I reply.

‘It wasn’t … all the time, I made you meatballs!’ she points out but we both smile knowing how ridiculous the argument is.

‘I think I’ll stick to making my own by snapping my fingers,’ I answer.

‘Didn’t like ‘em?’

‘They were of adequate quality, for a human, to a god’s tastes,’ I answer.

‘Funny. Leon, I wanted to ask a favour,’ she says. When I say nothing, she sighs, preparing herself for it.

‘You grant wishes for everyone. Who grants your wishes?’ she asks.

‘I do, for myself.’ I answer, but I know that’s not the question or answer she needs.

‘Then, I wish for you, that you find a happiness you genuinely enjoy in your life,’ she says, looking me in the eyes. I hear a faint intake of breath from myself as soon as she says those words. Hope fills her plain brown eyes.

‘That’s-‘

‘A ridiculous wish? Maybe. But I hope you fulfil it, for your own sake.’ Vivian smiles and winks at me before turning around. I watch her go and fall into the arms of the man she loves most in this world.

#kissed by the baddest bidder eisuke #kissed by the baddest bidder #star crossed myth leon #star crossed myth #scm leon #kbtbb eisuke #eisuke ichinomiya

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deniigi · 4 years

Note

bro, work made me depressed that I literally left my seat to regain any resemblance of joy or something equivalent before breaking down again. Do you think you can provide a ficlet I involving Peter and Sam to cheer me up?

FUCK CAPITALISM

TAKE THIS

Title: Calibrating

Summary: Sam and Peter talk themselves towards a meaningful discussion.

---------

Peter did this thing—this infuriating thing where he texted shit like ‘come over’ and then Sam had to bend over backwards to be flirty and coy.

It was imperative that he came across as flirty and coy.

Im-fucking-perative, regardless of what Leilani said or Matt’s annoyance at what he called the ‘jungle of depravity’ that overtook the group chat pretty much daily.

Sam didn’t care.

If Peter texted the group or sent any message that might be construed upside-down as something romantic or sexual, Sam not only had to catch it, but he had to volley it back.

This, he told Leilani, sealed their No-Homo contract.

She stared at him.

He decided to demonstrate.

“See, here, look, I’ll show you,” he said, dragging out his phone. “Exhibit A. There he is, see? Asking about the strength of PVC pipe in pounds per meter like a fuckin’ tease. Now I can’t just let him think that I saw that and didn’t think of it as a metaphor, alright? So I say—”

“Sam, why does he need to know the strength of PVC pipe?” Leilani interrupted.

It didn’t matter. That wasn’t the point of this discussion.

“I’m sending a winky-face,” Sam informed her as he did that very thing.

Leilani stared harder than before.

But look, skepticism was unrewarded. Peter texted a kiss right back and said ‘oh boo, you always know just want to say.’

How could she not see the No-Homo? Sam could do this all day. He could and there would be absolutely no problems and he wouldn’t want to suffocate himself in his pillow at the end of it all.

It was fine.

“Samuel,” Leilani said, “I’m going to tell you something and I want you to hear it with an open heart. Will you open your heart for me?”

Sam spun around in his chair and arranged his arms and legs so that they were as open as they could feasibly be without being obscene.

“I am more open than a boiled clam,” he informed her.

Leilani blinked slowly, then shook her head and checked over her shoulders. She waved him in closer. Then closer. And then close enough that he could smell her perfume on her neck.

“You’re the tease,” she said.

Then she left the backroom. And Sam could only stare after her, frozen in horror as his wide-open heart wrinkled in on itself, picking up mass and gravity until it was naught but a black hole.

“I’m the tease?” he whispered to himself in shock.

Oh no.

OH NO.

“SENSEI.”

Matt dropped his collection of folders and swore, clutching at his chest.

“We have discussed volume, Sam,” he said, bending down to collect his paper children.

Sam took the opportunity to throw both arms around his neck from behind as a threat.

“Don’t lie,” he warned. “Swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, amen.”

Matt stood up and Sam felt his toes leave the floor. He hadn’t planned this far ahead.

“Or what?” Matt asked, 110% unfazed.

Sam wished that his feet weren’t kicking around in air here. It really put a dent in his intimidation factor.

“Am I a tease?” he asked.

Matt faced front with heavy eyebrows. Sam couldn’t see his face from this angle, but he knew that aura of irritation.

“If you have to ask the question, then you already know the answer,” Matt said. “Does that help?”

“No, I hate you now, actually,” Sam told him.

Matt dropped him right on his ass.

There had to be a way to attain proof. To determine once and for all that it was Sam who was in the wrong here, misinterpreting things like the genius that he was.

Thankfully, Sam’s experience of growing up as a non-only child for the last two decades had prepared him exactly for this type of conversation.

SC: HANNAH AM I A TEASE???

HC: yes

HC: next question

SC: FUCK.

SC: WHAT IF ITS NOT NO-HOMO?

HC: my dear brother, the only options if something is not no-homo is for it to be no-no or homo-homo.

SC: Murder me

HC: gladly

SC: I’m in possible homo-homo with spiderman

HC: are you sure it’s not no-no?

SC: MURDER ME

HC: okay but like if it’s no-no then this is not a problem, right?

SC: If it’s no-no then I’ve read every sign wrong and I deserve to become a partially eaten tadpole awash in an indifferent boiling sea

HC: okay so we’re leaning INTO the drama today I gotcha. Alright but like, just for the sake of arguing, what if it was homo-homo?

SC: then I need you to bury my body somewhere no one will ever find it because my heart can’t stand requited love you know this about me.

HC: give me your login

SC: thank you I love you you’re the only person who matters

BT: Spiderman.

SM: Blindspot. DMing? You okay?

BT: this is Hannah.

SM: OH

SM: hi Hannah are you okay? Did you need something?

BT: My brother never got tested for reading comprehension but would have failed anyways. Can you arbitrate an arbitrary argument for us?

SM: I’m positive that there is a link between those two ideas that I am missing, but sure?

BT: okay are you ready?

SM: my loins have been girded.

BT: gross. you two are made for each other. Okay: what are your opinions on 24yo Chinese dudes with bad vision who are 5’7” tall, with terrible hair and brains as big and gaseous as Jupiter?

SM: positive

BT: you’re so romantic spidey.

SM: I know

BT: I’m going to tell him now

SM: WAIT DON’T TELL HIM

BT: byeeeeeee

Sam was going to have a heart attack. He couldn’t look at his phone. He was just going to lay here until he wasted away into a fossil.

Mm, yes, what a wonderful way to escape any and all feelings. That was—

His phone chirped and he nearly fell out of his chair in a hurry to answer it.

HC: [image] [image]

HC: you owe me your bones

SC: AFASDFADFAS:FJaf’asdfjahsdlfihasdl’fas

SC: TAKE THEM

HC: if you fuck spiderman you have to get pregnant and demand alimony for your beautiful mixed babies Samuel

SC: Darling sister, we’ve talked about this. it isn’t going to happen I still have yet to steal a womb

HC: try harder

HC: ttyl

Okay, this was fine.

Everything was fine.

Spidey liked Sam back, it was no big deal. Spidey liked everyone back. Even the teases.

Even.

The.

Teases.

Fuck, Sam had to move.

Foggy caught him biting his nails to pieces over the copy machine and asked him if he was okay. He was not. Foggy could read this off him. He didn’t ask again, but he did say that if Sam was feeling particularly anxious about something he was welcome to go have his breakdown upstairs in Kirsten’s kitchen instead of downstairs among the files.

Sam appreciated his offer. He hiked up the stairs, and halfway up, his phone chirped.

His heart stopped.

It chirped again, and then again. By the time he got to the top of the stairs, it was chirping every couple of seconds with messages being typed and sent at mach speed.

He kicked off his shoes and went to go stand over Kirsten’s sink to open the first one.

PP: Sam it’s peter hey listen your sister messaged me

PP: and was asking some pretty invasive questions and I replied to her. I don’t know if you saw them but I just wanted to say that if that makes you uncomfortable in any way know that I absolutely don’t mind and I’ll stop

PP: you can tell me to fuck off if that crossed your boundaries. I shouldn’t have even messaged her back without asking you

PP: and obviously in future I won’t talk to her until I’ve cleared it with you I just wasn’t thinking I’m never thinking it’s a little hard to think sometimes

PP: especially when you message me back and I get caught up in the games and the emojis and stuff and like I’m sure that sometimes I overstep but I don’t mean to and you can tell me at any point if you want me to stop

PP: I guess I just really like to talk to you sometimes and it’s fun to have someone to banter with who actually banters back like not in a mean way but in a really nice and funny way. you’re an easy guy to talk to is what I’m saying

PP: which I’m sure you get a lot. I don’t mean that I want to like tell you all my problems I swear it’s not that it’s just more of a AHHHHH I don’t even know what I’m saying I think it’s sorry???

PP: I’m sorry??? I don’t mean to imply anything that isn’t there and I don’t want to make you feel like you have to either. Ar e you mad? Please don’t be mad okay wait no I’ve sent like seven fucking messages I’m being a creep oh my god IM SORRY ILL SHUT UP NOW OKAY SORRY BYE

Oh nooooo.

The panic-induced infodump was not only familiar but horrendously endearing.

Sam had to explode now.

Man. Bummer.

SC: it’s okay Peter

PP: OH THANK GOD

PP: is it tho??? Are you sure?

SC: I have positive feelings towards people like you too

Sam’s heart pounded. He almost locked his phone and threw it in the sink, but another text came in just as that thought finished crossing his mind.

PP: you do?

SC: yes of course I do

PP: oh nice

SC: yeah

Annnnnnnd cue mutual nerd awkwardness. Great. Well done, Sam, you’ve done it again.

He sighed and turned away from the sink and sunk down onto the floor with his back against it.

Such a loser, Chung. So painfully awkward. Would it kill you to, just for once, slow down and chill for a minute?

God.

PP: hey sam?

No, Sam just wanted to sit on this floor and wallow.

PP: hello? Are you still there?

Sam let his head fall back against the sink. He closed his eyes.

His phone rang in his hand and he nearly had a heart attack. His fingers scrabbled over its face and the caller ID read ‘Peter Parker.’

Oh god.

Oh no.

Be cool. Be cool. Be cool.

“Hello?” he answered to the scratchy phone silence on the other side of the line.

He frowned.

“Hello?” he tried again, a smidge less desperate.

“Hi.”

There he was.

“Hey,” Sam said. “Sorry, just got awkward.”

Peter laughed through the line.

“Me too,” he said. “That was awkward.”

Yeah.

“Yeah.”

A long pause.

“I’m doing it again,” Sam moaned into his hand.

“No, no. Hey, you’re good,” Peter said. “I was just uh. Calling because.” He trailed off.

Sam waited.

“Sam? You still there?”

He startled and cleared his throat.

“Yeah, I’m here,” he said. “Sorry, zoning out a little bit. You know, busy day.”

“Yeah,” Peter said. “Yeah, I know.”

Sam breathed as quietly as he could. He could almost hear Peter doing the same on his end.

“Sorry, I’ve gotta g—” Sam started.

“Hey, do you like me?”

HNG.

“No?” Sam answered and then punched himself in the leg. “Sorry. Uh. I didn’t—I mean, uh. Yes. Of course I like you. You’re a really good person. I admire you a lot.”

Hannah, oh Hannah, where is thine shovel? Sam needed it to dig this grave deeper, please.

“Oh. Okay, I just—I guess I uh, have a hard time reading the tone of your texts sometimes,” Peter said.

“It’s okay, I get that a lot,” Sam said. “I’ll try harder to be more direct.”

“No,” Peter said. “No, no, you don’t have to change anything.”

“Oh? Okay, well. Maybe I still will, though,” Sam said.

If Peter wouldn’t have heard him, he would have started to try to fit his whole fist in his mouth.

Five minutes of conversation and they were still saying nothing.

“Sam?”

He swallowed.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Next time you’re in the city, would you, uh, maybe want to go out somewhere? With me?”

Out? What like, to a movie or something?

“Yeah, just like that,” Peter said. “’Cause I uh. Would like to. Do that, I mean. With you.”

“With me?” Sam asked. “Oh right, and your other friends, uh, names—sorry, I’m bad with names. N-ned?”

“No,” Peter said oddly abruptly. “Well, I mean—I don’t mean it like that. I just—just with you. For now. That’s what I mean.”

“Oh. Uh. Kinda like a date?” Sam asked through the forcefield of self-hatred that felt like it spanned the entire continental US.

There was a pause. Sam held his breath.

“Yeah,” Peter said. “Exactly like a date. If you don’t mind—you know, doing that with me.”

AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

“Are you trying to lure me to a secondary location, Mr. Parker?” Sam asked seriously.

The laugh that met him made all the muscles in his shoulders relax.

“Maybe if the bit at the first location goes well,” Peter said. Then added hurriedly, “If you’re down for that.”

Sam was down for it right now.

Actually, maybe not in Kirsten’s kitchen. But like, right now in a different location.

“If it’s a movie date, we can do it through Netflix Party,” he pointed out faux-lightly. “It wouldn’t be the same, but we could do it this weekend, even. Saturday—I’m off Saturday.”

Peter said nothing for a long time.

“Okay. Saturday,” he finally agreed, “I can do Saturday. Kinda hard to hold your hand through a screen, but I can give it my best shot?”

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFfffffff.

“Oh, I bet you will,” Sam nearly choked.

“You’re really cute, Sam.”

NO. SHUT UP. YOU ARE.

“Thanks.”

“I wanted to kiss you last time you were here, but I was too, uh. Shy. Embarrassed. One of them.”

Sam was going to puke, but in like, the happiest kind of way.

“I like you a lot too, Peter,” he whispered.

“Are you crying?”

“What? No.”

“Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.”

“Shut up, I’m not. I—the old man’s downstairs, his ears aren’t as good through ceilings, but I just want to make sure—”

“Uh-huh,” Peter said. “I’m sure that’s what it is. So I’ll see you Saturday? Maybe Facetime or something?”

“Yeah, Saturday,” Sam said. “I’ll send you a time when I know. I’ve gotta go. Meltdown-alloted-breaktime is over.”

Peter laughed.

“Alright, man, I’ll talk to you later. Bye now.”

“Bye,” Sam said lamely.

He hung up the phone. He did not scream. But he did fist pump and then fall onto his side.

---------

Here’s to hoping things get easier for you anon!!

#fic #ficlet #btsm #samuel chung #peter parker #I just love them being awkward nerds with each other #I JUST WANT THEM TO KISS AND THEN CRY A LITTLE ABOUT IT ITS FINE

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boop-le-snoot · 3 years

Text

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 13

first time readers click here 💖

TWs/Summary: In this house, we ship Reader/Tony's Rolls-Royce. Reader and Tony being dorks on a date. That's it that's the chapter. Lots of sass and Tony being Tony.

A question for my readers: Are you still invested? How's the slow burn? Is everything realistic? 👉🏻👈🏻🥺

As usual, my beta is @miscmarvelwritings . I love her.

"Nice digs, Cupcake."

"Nice ride, Tin Man."

The sass fell from my lips, warm and familiar, paving the way for our upcoming debut like the old, soft living room rug. Any awkwardness I had expected there to be left the moment I saw Tony pull up to my front gate in his Royce: the man was just that extra. The size of my estate, the five-figure outfit of mine - it paled in comparison to his own clout.

In a world where my choices were usually distributed between stuck-up rich boys or insecure middle-class men, Tony was a fresh drink of water with his absolute indifference towards my and his own net worth.

I wasn't afraid to admire said ride, either. Being a huge petrolhead was what got me interested in engineering, physics and computer sciences in the first place. The desire for speed grew into thirst for knowledge: how to get more horsepower, how to tune, how to mod. No mechanic took an eighteen year old rich-girl seriously even when I had all the lingo right, I had to be a step ahead, at all times, if I wanted my ride to be the best. And I never settled for less than that.

"No driver?" I inquired for the reason behind the unusual behaviour. After all, a Rolls' wasn't the kind of car you drive personally. All the amenities it had, it had in the back.

"Gave Happy a day off," Tony remarked absently. I noticed the small quirk of his eyebrow, however. He was intrigued.

I decided to give it a shot. "So what, this thing packs, what, about five-fifty horses?" I mused, watching Tony nearly swerve into the opposite lane. "At two and a half tons, it's still gotta be pretty quick with that V12-turbo. How fast it go?" The satisfaction was immeasurable, as pleasant to my soul as sitting in a heated leather chair with the smell of a new car, engine quietly rumbling in front of me. And by quietly I mean, it was focus-or-you'll-miss-it kind of quiet.

"Well aren't you full of surprises, baby girl," Tony grinned; a happy, excited grin even. It made his face lose ten years of age just like that. "Zero to sixty in five and a half seconds," He said after a moment.

"Not bad," I said, sounding impressed. I already knew that but I wasn't planning on robbing Tony out of well deserved praise for his choice in vehicles.

"Got a ride of your own?" He asked with a smile, like he didn't know it already. No background check would have skipped my three speeding tickets, but I concur. This game was fun.

"I do, actually. It's a 2008 Range Rover. Supercharged," I added in the end, just to emphasise.

"A big car for such a little girl," Tony whistled playfully.

"I'm compensating," I deadpanned. "I'm a little slow on the uptake, y'know, so my Rangie with five hundred horses makes up for it. Gotta keep it balanced."

Tony chewed on his lip. "Five hundred? Haven't heard about that, it comes with three-ninety-five in stock," His eyebrow wiggled. "Tuned it?" He cast me a contemplative glance.

"Yup," I exclaimed happily. As far as the date, I would have been utterly ecstatic to talk about cars all evening. Screw the boring "where do you see yourself in five years" questions, talk to me about your favourite engine swaps. Concept cars, give me those. Monster trucks? Yes, please. Vintage low-riders? Couldn't wait to get my grubby little hands on one. Gimmee!

Tony kept his silence and kept his press smile starting the moment we set foot on getting out of the car. The place he'd taken me to was ridiculously upscale and fancy; the valet hesitated only for a second before catching the keys Tony so carelessly tossed in his direction. There was almost no fear in his body language when the boy approached the massive, expensive vehicle.

The hostess smiled big at Tony and gave me the world's biggest stink-eye when he looked the other way but what else is new? As soon as she left us in the privacy of our booth, I didn't hesitate to stick my tongue at her retreating back. A brief lapse in maturity, if you will.

Tony cackled, growing suddenly serious. "Did she bother you? I can get her fired. I should get her fired."

"Nah," I shrugged. "Don't really care, just wanted to showcase my amazing sense of humour." Snorting, I gave Tony a wink and a secretive grin.

"You really don't give a fuck, do you," His eyebrows twitched again, a sign of mild interest that I noted during our routine sciencing time together. Tony was incredibly expressive if one took the time to observe.

"I could suck your dick under the table right now," I answered honestly. "It's just that when God gave out things like dignity and shame, I wasn't home. Too many fun things to do, y'know," I spoke as casually as I could even though I was dying of laughter inside.

Eyes bulging, jaw hanging mid-way to the floor. Tony was serving Looks™ and I didn't mean just the white tee and purple blazer combo. "Princess, you're going to be the fucking death of me!" He took a sip from his water glass, smirking.

Finally releasing my mirth, I gathered my hands in a lock in front of me. His own, warm and calloused, reached over - I allowed the brief intimacy, clasping them, fiddling with the leather band of his watch. For a moment, it was just us, sitting in the dim light, discovering each other anew to Robert Johnson singing the blues and NYC bustling with life just behind the wall.

The waiter took our orders - and if I totally butchered the Italian, Tony was gentleman enough not to make any remarks.

"Somehow, every time I am with you, you both manage to meet my expectations to a T and surprise me at the same time," I wasn't able to completely ignore my nerves. My hand was still loosely in his and he didn't mind at all, me messing with his watch.

"How so?"

"I'm going to loosely quote someone, bear with me." Mr Davies's words popped into my mind just as I was wondering how to best articulate my feelings. "You're eccentric and interesting because it's, well, it's you, because it would be much weirder if we'd be sitting here and making boring small-talk and asking each other the genetic get-to-know-you questions," I briefly paused to sip my Dom Peringon and stare at our hands. Gathering my wits. "That would be why I don't do dates. It sounds so tedious on paper, just sorting through people until a person that's not absolutely mind-numbing comes around."

Tony was silent for a moment, the sheen of his eyes, the faraway look; he was lost in memories. Probably remembering all the girls he had charmed before. I didn't doubt it was easy for him: his smile was distracting and people usually were attracted to shiny things. He shone plenty. Also, most people were stupid, they never cared to look past the golden wrapper. I was convinced there was a diamond under it. But then again, I was biased.

"I've never thought about it that way, but I guess you're right," He finally said, serious. "With Pepper, at least, it was. Come to think of it, we never had that much in common, besides Stark Industries and her willingness to put up with my shit." It was painful for him to talk about her, that much was obvious. His laugh was forced and sardonic.

I, on the other hand, never understood why they got together in the first place. Or maybe I did - but the cold, composed Pepper and the chaotic, energetic Tony reminded me too much of my own parents. All four people in this fucked up equation could have been much happier if they choose... What? Being alone? That was terrifying, too.

I kept quiet, giving his hands a gentle squeeze.

"You know, this is so bizarre. Even an eighteen year old kid has got it figured out," He suddenly said, his tone bitter like the coffee that he loved.

"Woah, slow down," I put up a hand. "I never said I know what to do. I just said I know what NOT to do." The 'kid' remark would have made me eye-roll so hard my skull would crack any day. In this context, however, it was pretty spot on.

Tony snorted. "And how did you come by that information, pray tell, Baby?"

I huffed. "Have you met my parents?" We simultaneously cringed and I hurried to erase that mental image. "I make fun of myself for being into old dudes all the time," I made air quotes around the phrase that made Tony scoff, "But, honestly speaking, I've never even been on a date. Like a real one. Usually it's twenty minutes and I'm falling asleep mid-conversation. People can't seem to keep up with me or something," I felt genuinely dejected. "So many meaningless questions, so many downright idiotic comments. From men," I pointed out the obvious. "My mother used to tell me she thought I was gay because I didn't act like a girl... Whatever that means."

"That sounds pretty shitty," Tony was studying me like one would have been looking at an exotic animal in a zoo. "That said, I agree."

"That I don't act like a girl?" I teased him, the left corner of my mouth tilting upward. "Fuck that noise. I want to drive fast cars, drink straight liquor and have orgasms. If that makes me a dude... I look pretty good for a dude in a dress."

We laughed in unison, tension evaporating under the shared, mutual understanding. With Tony, it was easy. The waiter brought our selected dishes. Blink-and-he's-gone. Top notch service.

"A dude in a dress, can't say I'm surprised 'bout your lack of dates," He remarked conversationally, happily digging into his food. The noises he made were intriguing, to say the least, and I followed suit on my own food, finding it absolutely delicious. A delicious meal with a delicious man at my side. I refused to feel guilty about my thoughts.

"I guess I have exactly one (1) date on my ledger now," I raised my argument.

The fork clattered as Tony once again, came to a sudden realization. "Holy shit, you weren't kidding."

"No shit," I gave into the urge to roll my eyes. "But on the upside, my first date was with the most gorgeous, intelligent and witty bachelor of the city. I'd say I don't have it all that bad," I quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Aw, you're making me blush," Tony recovered quickly, grinning. "And don't be shy. The most desired bachelor of the country, if not the world."

I shook my head. "No, the world's most delectable bachelor is one of the Saudi princes. What's-his-name, the one who posts goat and horse pics on Insta," I snapped my fingers a couple of times, trying to remember the name as Tony looked at me all offended. "Anyways, you get my point. I could have a go at him, don't you think?" Cocking my shoulder, coyly twirling the strap of my dress, I gave Tony my best come-hither look and was rewarded with an appreciative once-over. His eyes were growing hungry again.

"You're a million dollar baby," He finally said, voice low. "And the extent of people I would be willing to share you with is very small."

That got me interested, sudden heat prickling underneath my skin. The conversation took a turn I didn't expect it to; and there lied the delight of being around Tony. He was always ready to surprise, in the best way. "Tell me," I requested politely.

"That's a conversation for another time," He was enjoying the chit-chat, desire beginning to creep into his features.

"Mmm, you think?" I allowed the strap of my dress to slip down my shoulder, exposing a collarbone, showing him just how far I was willing to go to satisfy my curiosity.

He swallowed audibly. "I think... You're smart enough to figure it out," He finally gritted his teeth, finishing off his dinner and immediately calling for the check.

I wasn't done yet, however. The possibility of riling him up, taunting him into a lustful frenzy - I was in heaven. Karma had favoured me that evening, it had given me a chance to get Tony back for all the times he unknowingly made my mouth water and my brain go blip. "Must be Steve then," I bit my lip in thought.

Honestly? I was as clueless as the couple next table over. Steve it wasn't, that much I knew for sure, he and Tony had their little love/hate dramatic connection that always ended in a massive ego standoff. Tony would be on the frontline fighting against Steve if the blonde dared to show anything even remotely resembling romantic interest towards someone Tony himself had his eyes on.

"Princess," Tony growled, sarcastically raising an eyebrow.

"Not Steve," I replied, cracking a smile. Success! "You know, I'm really bad at guessing who's into me. Unless someone is balls deep in me," My face was mere inches away as we quickly shrugged on our coats. "And even then, I can't be sure."

My giggling was accompanied by Tony shaking his head in exasperated fashion; he took my hand nonetheless and I happily swayed it between us, poster child for "not a care in the world". He allowed it, maintaining the same exasperated air about him, and I let him. Fondness and happiness seeped through that anyways.

"Brat," His voice was kind. And his kiss tingled where he left it on the corner of my mouth, sweet and short. "Here, have a go," Before I could react, the keys to his Rolls Royce were placed in my palm and he was making his way around the car to the passenger's side.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub @mostly-marvel-musings @vozit @littlegasps @pilloclock @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads @hermione-grangers-wife @individualistfem @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway (it finally let me tag you)! @softie-socks @schemefrenzy

#tony stark x reader #tony stark x you #tony stark x y/n #bruce banner x reader #bruce banner x you #bruce banner x y/n #stephen strange x reader #stephen strange x y/n #stephen strange x you #party favours #bun writes

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millennialfangirl · 4 years

Text

Kind and Generous (mid & post 7x10 oneshot)

Fandom: Agents of Shield

Pairing: Daisy x Daniel

Rating: Mature & NSFW

Word Count: 3,027

Author’s Note: Hello, all! This is my first foray into Dousy mature content (aka smut). I’m really excited about it, but also nervous, because it’s been several years since I’ve written smut, or much of anything.

This title and fic are inspired by the song “Kind and Generous” by Natalie Merchant (hello 90′s), and the sheer pure goodness of one Agent Daniel Sousa. I hope yall enjoy! Comments are treasured!

~Kind and Generous~

Daniel takes the large duffle that’s a lot heavier than she made it seem. He smiles to himself at convincing her to let him take it off her shoulders, and heads down the hallway in the direction of the bunks. Once he reaches them, he places his bag in one, and then goes out to look for a bunk for Daisy. Realizing he doesn’t know which one she might want, he turns back in the direction of the lab room he had left the two women in.

He doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, but just as he’s approaching the door, he hears his name. The next thing he hears takes his breath away, causing him to pause outside the door, and stay hidden.

“You kissed Agent Sousa?” Simmons exclaims in a loud whisper.

“Hey, hey, keep your voice down. Nobody knows, not even him.”

Daniel ponders what could possibly be wrong with Daisy, because he damn sure would know if they had kissed. The desire and thought of doing it had been lingering in his mind since she saved his tail back on the train, assuring him that they were, in fact, the good guys. Why would she fabricate something like that and share it with Agent Simmons?

“How is that possible? What do you mean he doesn’t know?”

“Remember the whole time loop situation I was just in...yea.”

“What does this mean? Do you like him? Are you going to tell him?”

Even outside of the room, he can hear Daisy take a deep breath before sighing. He can’t believe that they had kissed, and he had the dumb luck of forgetting it.

“Of course I like him. He’s a good man. Even if the SHIELD files didn’t prove that, he was by my side in every time loop, even sacrificed himself a couple of times just so I wouldn’t die and reset my memory. He’s solid...and it doesn’t hurt that he’s got that James Dean, Cary Grant Hollywood vibe going.”

“He is rather dreamy. That’s so exciting...why do I feel like there’s a but?”

“Because...you know my past. Look at how many people that get near me die. I barely know him, but somehow I don’t think I could lose him. And besides, we just ripped him from his home, everything he knew. For all I know, he’s in love with someone back in 1955.”

All he can hear is Simmons’ exasperated, “Daisy,” as he backs away from the door, back to the bunk he had put his things in. He takes the time to think over everything he heard while putting away the few things he has on his person.

He’s lost in thought when he hears the thud of familiar combat boots approaching his door. Daisy knocks on the door frame softly, and he looks up to see her in the doorway looking calm and collected.

“So, where’d you put my stuff, then I’ll be out of your way so you can get some rest.”

He gestures to the floor by the door where he had dazedly put her duffle.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know which bunk you wanted. I was going to come find you after I got settled.”

“That’s alright,” she brushes off as she moves to grab the bag.

He’s there in an instant, picking it up and hoisting it on his shoulder.

“Show me the way.”

She gives him a once over, clearly scrutinizing his actions before shrugging.

“I was thinking I’d just go right across the hall, actually.”

He follows her the few steps across the tile hall and into the room. Without being told, he deposits the large duffle on her bed.

“That was easy enough,” he says, wiping his hands together as if he had just lifted fifty bales of hay.

“Thanks.”

“No problem...actually, do you mind if we talk for a minute.”

“Sure. You doing alright? Are you ready to abandon ship and try to go start a new life?”

Daniel finds it incredibly sad that her first assumption is that he wants to leave. He finds it sad that she doesn’t seem bothered by it, more like she was expecting it. He can see the careful mask she’s placed to hide her fears.

“I’m doing great actually, and I think I’m right where I need to be.”

Daisy startles, and her mask of kind indifference drops.

“Oh...okay. Um, in that case, what did you need?”

He takes a couple of steps closer while carefully deciding what he should say. He doesn’t want to spook her. He doesn’t want to push her. He just wants her to know that he’s there, available, waiting for the right time.

“I just want you to know that there’s no one special back in ‘55. No one to write home to. I kind of married the job, resigned myself to bachelorhood,” he says while crossing his arms. He clears his throat before continuing, because he can see that she’s at a loss for words.

“Of course, I had close friends, family. My pop was still around. So when I say there are people I wish I could have said goodbye to, that’s who I’m talking about.”

He can see the faintest blush rise on her cheeks, and he loves the way it makes her skin glow.

“And um, why did you think I should know that?”

“So that when I tell you that I think you’re amazing, and that I want to get to know you better, and that I want to take you to dinner and see a film, if that’s something people still do in the 21st century...that you’ll believe me.”

She brings her fingers up to her mouth, maybe remembering the kiss they had shared, or maybe covering up the grin that’s breaking through. Most importantly, she’s not backing away or rejecting his plans. If anything, she’s inched closer to him.

“That’s a good reason.”

“I thought so,” he agrees.

He takes her free hand, holding it in his. He lifts it to his mouth, brushing his lips softly against the top of her knuckles.

“I’m going to show you that you deserve good things. I promise,” he mumbles against her skin, turning and kissing the delicate underside of her wrist too, the promise of so much more implied.

She looks at him in awe, and he’s proud to have rendered her speechless. He lets her hand fall from his as he slowly backs up and turns to the door. Just as he’s about to walk out, he turns back around at the last minute.

She’s still standing there, staring at the place he once stood.

“And Agent Johnson,” he starts, waiting for her to look up and meet his eyes. “I’d really like to kiss you on the lips and remember it, if that’s something you might be amenable to one day.”

He knows he’s playing dirty, but he loves the way her whole face goes red, realization that he’d heard their conversation dawning on her face.

“I think I can be amenable to that.”

“Good. I’ll go get some of that rest now.”

He turns on his heel, and can’t help the light whistle he blows as he moves to his room, closing the door behind him. For the first time since he woke up on the Zephyr, he feels like he’s got something to look forward to.

***

Over the next few weeks, he does just that. He reminds her of what it is like to have a partner, to have someone to lean on. He picks her up after every fall, and he stands by her side in every fight. And it isn’t like the almost simple, repeated tasks of the time loop. It’s the heavy, habitual pattern of everyday life, and the constant fear of the unknown. He is steady through it all.

They fall into like...into friendship...and then an instant anticipation of more. Secret glances and whispered conversations between missions. They can feel the hum of something big just underneath the surface. Daisy knew that as soon as the fighting stopped and the team could take a break, they would collide with each other like two trains on the same track. They were never supposed to cross paths, but someone, God, the universe...maybe time itself, switched their paths. Somehow, he’s everything she didn’t know she needed, and more.

Their time of respite comes. They’re in a new future, one that’s unknown to them both, and their team, but the Lighthouse is still there. For better or worse, it’s their home for now. The team disperses, each of them seeking out long hot showers, comfort food, and the welcoming arms of someone they love. Daniel finds her combing through her wet hair, water droplets clinging to her skin.

“We did it.”

“You did it,” he replies immediately.

But as kind and generous as that is to say, she knows she wouldn’t be here without him.

“No, we did it.”

He silently acquiesces with a nod.

She stands up, tugging the thin robe she had put on after her shower more tightly around her. She pivots to place her brush on the outdated, built-in 70’s dresser.

She can feel the air shift, and she’s only a little surprised to find him right in front of her when she turns back around.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“You feeling okay? You hurt much?” he asks, always concerned, his eyes raking over her body.

“No. Just a little tired," she assures him.

“Good,” he replies, like she placed the last puzzle piece or connected the last dot.

She is surprised when he grasps her waist and pulls her flush against him. Without hesitation, their mouths meet, and it’s so much better than her memory of the time loop. He’s giving so much to the kiss, exposing himself down to the bones.

“I made you a promise.”

He lifts her wrist up and starts a slow ascent up her arm, sliding the sleeve of her robe up as his mouth picks up where he left off weeks ago.

“I’d like to follow through on that now, if it’s okay with you.”

She can barely nod as he gently pulls the knot loose that’s holding her robe closed. He doesn’t pull it off, he doesn’t look, he just places a warm hand on her bare stomach, and then moves his lips to her cheek.

Her eyes sting under his careful touch. She’s never been touched like this.

Where there was once an impassioned frenzy, now there’s a languid tenderness. Exploration, experimentation. Admiration. Daisy can feel it all coming off of him in waves, all tactile devotion.

She needs this. She needs to feel loved, not for her power, or her fighting, but for her soft edges and fragile heart.

Suddenly his arms are wrapped around her tight, one hand protectively on her back, the other buried in her hair, cradling her head. She can’t help but sag against him, feeling the last vestiges of fight or flight leave her system, a heavy weight unburdening itself from her shoulders. Somehow, this hug is more intimate than anything she’s experienced. They stand there for a minute, soaking up the silence and peace.

And then she’s in the moment, and she can feel him pressed against her everywhere, strong and solid and safe. Static crackles over her skin as he dips his head to her neck. Everything but his touch disappears, and her robe drops to the floor.

He picks her up like he did in the barn, and they settle on the bed with her in his lap. His lips are back on hers, and his fingers are brushing down the side of her face, then her neck. She whimpers when they finally graze her breast, a gentle swirl over her nipple. He becomes reacquainted with her neck then, sucking and nipping while his fingers trace the sides of breast. He cups her whole, his hand encompassing her entirely. That long forgotten warmth draws down to her abdomen, and her inner walls clinch in anticipation.

“So beautiful,” she can hear him murmur into her neck while his hand continues to massage her rhythmically.

Weeks of want and anticipation since that first forgotten kiss has her desperate. The sudden shock of his affection wears off, leaving room for her to pull his face back up so she can kiss him properly. His responding moan delights her when she slips her tongue in his mouth. His gentle control waivers, and she’s rewarded with a slightly painful pinch to her hardened nipple. Her hips buck and her legs spread, begging for attention.

He’s still cradling her head as he leans back from the kiss to look into her face. It’s not her lack of clothing making her feel vulnerable, rather the intense stare he maintains as his hand finds its way to her parted legs. A strangled gasp leaves her at the first touch of his fingertips to her entrance. She can see his eyes dance around her face, watching every reaction to his exploration.

A digit gathers moisture, and circles her entrance. She can’t help but let her eyes slip closed as that finger disappears within her. He goes shallow at first as he maps her out.

“Daniel…” she hears herself whimper, and she’s not sure she’s ever heard herself sound like that before.

Her hand grips his forearm, nails digging in as she looks up at him in wonder and need.

“Whatever you need,” he quietly promises.

And she feels that burning sensation behind her eyes again. Her hand slides down to his.

“Don’t stop,” she instructs while gently pushing him deeper.

A tear escapes down her cheekbone as he starts to circle her deep inside.

Her right arm wraps around his waist while her left hand continues to cling to his, feeling him push in and out of her in steady, sure strokes. She holds him tightly and can’t help but arch up against his ministrations, which makes it easier for his head to tip down and latch onto a nipple. A light wave travels through her, and she knows she’s already getting close.

He must know it too, because his middle finger becomes more sure of itself as he curls it up. He pulls away from her breast, and kisses the tear away. He watches her as she starts to come undone, his thumb circling her clit, lighting her up in a whole new way.

She bites her lip, and her legs tense up waiting, and waiting for that drop. Her stomach quivers, along with a few things around the room. His finger works her over faster and harder.

“C’mon, come for me. Let go.”

Her stomach shakes and she gasps out a broken cry. Her walls flutter and collapse around him.

“That’s it...that’s it. Just like that,’ he encourages her.

She rides out her release in blissful fulfillment.

She should feel shy and embarrassed as she comes down from her high, but there’s no room for that when she meets his kind eyes and flushed cheeks. He’s smiling, wide and happy, and Daisy’s never been the girl to feel giddy and romantic, but she does.

He slowly withdraws from her, and she can feel her dampness on his hand as it trails back up her body. He lays her down finally, and kisses her softly, almost timid.

He props up on an elbow and looks down at her.

“Was that…” he tries to get out, clearing his throat.

“Was that good? Did you enjoy it?”

She can’t help the toothy, silly grin that splits her face, or the tired, satisfied stretch she lets out as she nods in affirmation.

“It was perfect.”

“I’m glad.”

He leans down and nuzzles her nose, peppering soft kisses across her face.

But then he’s getting up, pulling back the starchy sheets and blanket. Before she realizes it, he’s tucking her in, his hand brushing her hair out of her face.

“Hey...where are you going? I want to take care of you,” she whines while pulling on his arm.

He sits on the edge of the mattress and tangles their fingers together. He kisses them lightly while gazing down at her.

“There’ll be plenty of time for that later. In fact, I’d like to take you out on a date, remember?”

“But--”

“You should be resting.”

She’s not pleased with the turn of events, but even she can admit how heavy her eyelids are getting. She doesn’t want him to leave though. She’s selfishly wanted him back by her side, sleeping next to her, just like he did with the healing pod.

“Okay, but will you stay?” she asks. And maybe she bites her lip and gives him her best puppy dog eyes.

She knows he’s caved, the minute he sighs and let’s his head drop down in a rueful grin.

“I knew you were going to be trouble, with a capital ‘T’.”

She laughs and excitedly slides over, pulling back the sheets for him. She feels a rush of pride when she sees him falter, staring at her still naked form. He blinks out of his daze and immediately pulls the basic t-shirt he’s wearing over his head.

It’s her turn gulp when he hands it to her.

“I’ll stay, but you gotta put that on,” he demands as he turns around.

“You are such a square,” she teases, but does as he says.

He turns back as she settles back into the bed.

“I’m going to go grab some water. Want some?”

So, so kind and generous.

“Yes, please.”

“You got it. I’ll be right back.”

She watches him go and relaxes. Fatigue settles into her bones. She must have drifted off, because she startles awake when she feels someone settle behind her on the mattress, the room dark and quiet.

“It’s just me,” he reassures her, and tugs her close against him.

She smiles into the darkness when he kisses her cheek.

“I’m going to thank you properly, Agent Sousa...for everything.”

“I look forward to it, Agent Johnson.”

******************

Ta Da!

Would anyone like a follow up with a first date?

(pssst...there’s probably going to be a smutty first date follow up)

#daisy johnson #daniel sousa #dousy #daisysous #daisy x daniel #my fic #agents of shield #aos #sousy #aos fic

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mlqcconfessions · 4 years

Note

Can I request a some hurt/comfort? How would our guys react to MC being in a coma and waking up from it? Take care of yourself!

We are always reminded of MC’s unnecessary courage, especially towards the later chapters. Every time she gets into trouble, the boys are there to save her.

But from Chapter 10+, we see that they won’t come to our rescue every time.

And that made me really sad (I JUST WANT HAPPY ENDINGS Y'ALL)

So I’m using this opportunity to write alternate endings for some of the darkest stories for each of the boys (and I had to use my imagination for these, so they may be a little lacking)

This took me a LOT LONGER than I expected, so that’s why my headcanons weren’t updating lately

Warning: There are spoilers for the main story (Ch 11-15)

MLQC Headcanon - As long as you’re here

Victor (Spoilers for Ch 11)

He’s been through this once already as kids

He’s never been prepared for another one

He always thought...since he’s here with you now.....he would be able to protect you

He believed he had changed

That he was no longer the weak boy from years ago

This is why he’s taking it so hard on himself

You were the only thing on his mind (even work was irrelevant)

He’s looking at you sleeping so soundly in the hospital bed

It’s as if you would wake at any moment

But he knows.....it’s not good to raise hopes

How long has it been.....8 days?

He glances around the hospital room (a daily routine he does)

Just to make sure everything is in pristine condition

But he doesn’t realize that he himself was in shambles

He prepared the best amenities for your hospitalization

The nurses kept talking about him, the CEO of LFG

Some attempted to get noticed by him (which did succeed to a certain extent)

They paid more attention to him than to you

“Are you going to keep doing your job halfheartedly?”

“P....pardon?”

“I have no need for unprofessional workers who can’t focus in front of their patients. Please leave” (The hospital’s Chief had to bow his head in apology)

Of course, Victor didn’t care about such trivial matters

All he was concerned about was your health

He had been watching over you nearly 24/7

He regularly calls Goldman to bring over his work to the hospital (he says he can’t go himself because then he’ll have to leave you)

For once, Goldman doesn’t care that he’s not paid enough

--------------------

You wake up to blinding lights, forcing your eyes to stay closed

After getting adjusted, you look around

Am I....in a hospital? (your eyes fall on the IV drip above you)

You turn your head (a short pain rings in your back), finding Victor laying his head on the bed

His hands are tightly grasping yours, knuckles shaky and pale

You raise your other hand to smooth his hair (it’s a little oily?)

He slowly opens his eyes, realizes the hand on his head, and quickly shoots up

His mouth is open, but he’s not saying anything

You laugh a little at this new Victor (you wish you could’ve taken a picture)

“Haha...good morning, Victor”

It’s only until you show him your usual smile that he regains himself

“......dummy....”

He bends down to pick up some papers that had toppled over

You don’t notice that he wipes a tear that was falling on his face

Kiro (Spoilers for Ch 14)

He didn’t want to have to do this

But it was the only way to save you (to keep you safe)

He hadn’t planned on using absolute control on you

After all, he knew you wouldn’t want to leave him by himself on that rooftop

But he had no choice

He would much rather sacrifice himself if it meant protecting you

And there was no telling what he would do if you got hurt

He dare not meet your eyes when he made you walk by him

There would’ve been a resisting force, making him want to hug you right away

It took him everything he had to not cancel his evol at that moment

As soon as he heard the door lock with a click, he turned to focus on his enemy

There wasn’t much to the fight anyways (his evol was overpowering)

But he couldn’t help but worry about you on the other side of that door

He figured you would be crying your eyes out, but there was nothing he could do

You, on the other hand, were trying your hardest to break Kiro’s control

But to no avail

All you could do was pound on the door, until your hands started to bleed

This went on for who knows how long

At this point, you were slumped over on the ground (your poundings have gotten much weaker)

You balled up your hands into fists, your last attempts to stay focused

Your nails dig into your palms, but it doesn’t faze you one bit (although it does quite hurt)

Was it fatigue, or was it exasperation.....but you started to lose your sight until everything was pitch black

Meanwhile, the noises outside come to a halt

Kiro hobbles over to the door (he wasn’t injured, just overwhelmed with fatigue)

He’s surprised to find you lying on the floor, unconscious

As much as he wants to take you to your home, he knows he doesn’t have the right to do that (not after what he just did to you)

But....it’s even more dangerous to leave you here

--------------------

He treats your hands with the first aid kit in your apartment

You slowly wake up to see Kiro struggling with the bandages (he was never great at things like these)

With your other hand, you reach up to cup his face

He’s startled (he wasn’t expecting you to wake up this quickly)

“Kiro.....”

He doesn’t say anything, but just looks at you with a pained expression on his face

He gets up to leave, but you grab onto his shirt

“No...please.....don’t leave....”

He turns around, bites his lower lip, and gently tugs your hand off from him

“......I’m sorry....I command you....”

“Kiro.......!”

“.....go to sleep”

You don’t remember anything after this point, not even the fact that he tucked you in

Or the fact that he stayed a little longer by your side (to burn you into his memories before leaving)

“.....sweet dreams, MC”

Lucien (Spoilers for Ch 13)

He knew you were brave

But he also knew you were careless

You hadn’t realized how deep your punctured wound went, and quickly lost consciousness

He wanted to rush towards you, to catch you in his arms

He wanted to apologize that he’s made you go this far

But he just stood there, looking at your fragile figure with indifference

He slowly walked over, and got on one knee to inspect your condition

He had to pry Iridescent out of your hands (for fear that you would try to stab yourself again)

All the while, he remained calm

As if what he just saw affected him no less than a falling leaf

But of course, the truth was much different

If he showed the slightest bit of emotion, the men would take you away from him

He was already being suspected of a traitor by them (it’s more advantageous to be seen as your enemy......for your sake)

“She’s fainted (he pushes some hair out of your eyes). I’ll take care of things from here”

“Ares, you can’t—!”

“We need her alive, wouldn’t we?” (the other agents can feel the hostility in his voice)

After he receives silent confirmation, he picks you up in his arms and takes you to his apartment

He rests you on the bed, and prepares everything to treat you

He effectively manages to stop the bleeding, but he’s unable to close the wound

It’s going to scar.....

As he looks at you, his heart becomes foggy

He has so many things to say.....so many things to explain

If only you realized his true feelings

But he knew it would only bring you harm if you got close to him

After all, HE was the one deceiving you this entire time

And that’s all you needed to believe

--------------------

When you open your eyes, you realize you’re back in your house (it’s dark except for some light from outside)

As you try to stand up, you flinch as your neck stings in pain

It’s bandaged.......Lucien!

You quickly look around the room, grabbing on to the slightest hope that he would be here

Your shoulders slink back as you laugh to yourself (at your own foolishness)

He lied to me.......he......

You cover your face with the pillow, trying to take everything in

You reach out to the bedside table for your phone, dropping something in the process

As you go to pick it up, your heart feels like it’s about to explode

Iridescent is lying on the floor, the tip no longer covered with your blood

As if it’s unaware of your muffled cries, it shines brightly in the moonlight peering through your windows

Gavin (Spoilers for Ch 15)

The wind had been blowing for hours on end, keeping his tears from falling down his face

There wasn’t much he could’ve done to prevent this

To prevent you from taking a bullet to your shoulder

No, he thought

I was right there next to her.....

There were so many things he could have done

That he SHOULD HAVE done

He looks down at you, writhing in pain, clutching at your shoulder

He knows how bullet wounds feel like (all the more reason why he’s so hard on himself)

Luckily, the two of you managed to escape STF during that chase

That doesn’t mean he was unscathed, as well

When heard you scream, he lost control of his evol

It did throw the STF agents off-course (but it also pushed you along the edge of a cliff)

He quickly grabs hold of you, twisting his body so he breaks the fall

The currents help soften the landing, but the rocks and branches leave scars on his body (he’s just relieved that you’re alive)

He brought you inside an abandoned warehouse, a beat-up Sparky guarding the front door

Lots of thoughts run through his brain while he’s treating your wound (now he knows who his true enemies are)

He skillfully manages to reduce the bleeding (but it doesn’t stop completely)

Meanwhile, your breathing becomes heavy and your heartbeat spikes up

He quickly takes off his shirt to dab the sweat off of your forehead (it’s not the cleanest, but it’s better than nothing)

He looks around for a water source

No luck (but he does find some wood for the fireplace)

--------------------

He quickly returns to the warehouse, nervous about leaving you alone

“..Gavin....”

The firewood in his hands clatter as they fall to the ground (without a moment’s hesitation, he’s by your side)

“MC....?” (the tears he had been holding back are now falling, each drop hitting your hand that he’s desperately clutching)

You find it hard to speak, only capable of muttering sounds

There’s so many things you want to say...that you NEED to say

But the sounds of agonized crying fills your ears (you’ve never heard him cry before, let alone this loud)

Little did you know that these tears were not of pain, but of relief

He’s holding onto you so tight, as if he’s trying to make sure you don’t leave him

The sun slowly rises once again, a gentle breeze blowing over the fallen leaves in the silent environment

Welp this was more hurt than comfort

This is not what I had initially planned.

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wesleyhill · 3 years

Text

A New World of Wedded Bliss

A homily on Mark 10:2-16, preached at Trinity Cathedral, Pittsburgh, on the Nineteenth Sunday after Pentecost 2021

In the Name of God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

One of the things I like about preaching in the Episcopal Church is that we preachers don’t get to choose our own Bible passages. They’re decided for us by the lectionary, the schedule of readings or “lessons” that we share with a lot of other churches, including the Roman Catholic Church. The good thing about that is that it keeps you from being subject to my particular whims as to what to preach on. And it keeps me and the other preachers here honest: we are forced to confront passages we’d maybe rather not talk about. We’re forced to grapple with what St. Paul referred to as “the whole counsel of God” (Acts 20:27) — the entire sweep of what God has spoken, even the bits we’re confused about or resistant to or scared of.

I confess, I would rather not have to preach about Jesus’ challenging words from our Gospel reading today. And, truthfully, I could wriggle out of it by choosing to preach on one of our other readings for this morning; that’s always an option. But I remember what I once heard a great preacher say: if your preaching is consistently failing to address the questions that your congregation has about the Bible, then you’re going to frustrate your congregation. I know many of you were paying attention as the Gospel was read just now, and I know you were probably struggling to relate Jesus’ words to your own histories and families and relationships. How do we make that connection? — that linkage between what Jesus says and the lives we’re actually living? That’s what preaching is meant to help you do, and so, with God’s help, I’m going to try this morning.

As I was thinking about our Gospel lesson this week, I came across an article in the New York Times, published this past Thursday. Written by Lara Bazelon, it was titled: “Divorce Can Be an Act of Radical Self-Love.” The author talks about how she felt her marriage was keeping her from living fully into her sense of purpose and gifting. She says upfront that there was no emotional or physical abuse and that she is still in love with her ex, even after the divorce. Then she says: “I divorced my husband not because I didn’t love him. I divorced him because I loved myself more.” And here’s how the article concludes: “I no longer think of divorce as shameful or feel sorry for people who tell me that they have decided to end their marriages… My divorce spared my children… pain and let me live the life I was meant to. I view that as an accomplishment.”

I am fully aware that, in our fallen, broken world, divorce is sometimes necessary, sometimes best. But I think the way this article frames the matter — that divorce isn’t something to feel sad about, to mourn over — doesn’t do justice to the way many of us experience divorce. We may feel that our marriage had to end, but that doesn’t take away the ache we still feel, the wistfulness and sadness and self-doubt that can still stab us at odd moments. We may feel that we made the best choice, given the circumstances, but that doesn’t stop us from feeling like we let ourselves down — or let our ex-partner, or our children, or our parents, or our priest down.

One of the gifts our Gospel reading gives us this morning is permission to mourn divorce. If you still lament the divorce you went through, or your parents went through, or your sibling or best friend went through — if, no matter how many positive self-help podcasts you’ve listened to or therapies you’ve invested in, you still feel somehow that divorce is a tragic thing — then you can take some comfort in our reading this morning. Because the main message of it is: It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

Let’s rehearse the details. Some religious leaders come to Jesus, who himself is a publicly recognized religious teacher and authority, and they pose an ethical question. They ask him whether it’s a lawful to divorce one’s wife (notice, they, who are men, don’t ask anything about the wife; her perspective and protection don’t seem to matter to them). Secretly, they’re setting a trap for Jesus. They themselves aren’t in agreement about the religious legality of divorce, and by trying to force Jesus to pick a side in their debate, they expect he’ll embarrass himself with a large segment of his audience, one way or the other, and that’s exactly what they want. In short, they’re using a debate about divorce as an opportunity to try to drag Jesus down into a partisan spat and thereby discredit him.

True to form, Jesus doesn’t take the bait. Instead, he turns the question back on them: “What did Moses command you?” In other words, what does our shared Scripture have to say about the matter? Jesus asks. And they point out, rightly enough, that the Jewish law allows a man to divorce his wife. And then Jesus takes them off guard and reorients the entire conversation by reminding them that in the same law — the Jewish law, the Torah, that permits divorce — there’s the story at the very beginning, in the very first two chapters of the Bible, before any evil has marred the story, of God creating a man and a woman and blessing them to become “one flesh,” one new indissoluble pair. So, Jesus says, it must be because we are fallen and diminished and rendered incapable of keeping even the commitments that we most want to keep — that must be why divorce happens, because in the Bible’s depiction of the bliss of human life as God wants it to be, divorce isn’t part of the picture at all. “Because of your hardness of heart,” Jesus says, the law of Moses permitted divorce. “But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’” In the world as God wants it to be, there simply are no autonomous selves in a marriage to tweeze apart in divorce.

Jesus, in other words, is simply refusing to be drawn into a debate as to when divorce is appropriate or inappropriate, when it may be justified or merely frivolous. He’s calling us to imagine a world without divorce on the table as an option at all. He’s inviting us to imagine existing in an atmosphere where love really is everything it’s cracked up to be, where promises really are kept, and violence and indifference and cruelty and boredom and spite really are nowhere to be seen. He’s calling us to imagine a world that doesn’t exist, in other words.

Except… maybe it does.

One of the scarlet threads that runs through the entire Bible, both Old and New Testaments, is that God has a spouse. God’s spouse is you and me. God’s spouse is Israel, His chosen people. God’s spouse is the church of Jesus Christ, Jesus being portrayed as the Bridegroom and we, His people, as His bride. And in the story Scripture tells, from beginning to end, God does not divorce us. No matter how many times we rebuff God, or thumb our noses at God, or give God the cold shoulder, or storm out and slam the door in God’s face, God goes on loving us. God loves and loves and loves us, all the way to whatever miserable end we find our path to, and then God loves us beyond that, opening up a future for us, forgiving us of all the ways we’ve turned our backs on God and others, and promising us a new creation in which there will be no more grief, despair, loneliness, resentment, abuse, neglect, or anything else that would try to undo our bonds with each other. In Jesus Christ God goes all the way down into death for us, and in Christ’s resurrection on Easter Sunday morning we see the ultimate triumph of God’s covenant love for us. From now on, nothing “in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:39).

The new world imagined by Jesus is here. It has arrived already. It has broken into our present, and it is remaking us. We can even now, stumbling attempt after flawed stumbling attempt, begin to live in light of it, to embody its promise, to partake of and revel in its audacious wholeness.

In the one of the very last scenes of the Bible, one of the early Christian prophets says that he saw a vision of us, the church, the people of God, appearing before God as God’s bride. And then he hears a heavenly voice that says this:

See, the home of God is among mortals. He will dwell with them; they will be his peoples, and God himself will be with them; he will wipe every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have passed away.

May that new world, which is here right now among us in and through our risen Lord Jesus, come in all its radiance and wonder and fullness. And may we taste the promise-keeping, covenant love of God in the supper of the Lamb which we’re about to eat.

Amen.

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totaldramafan-lauri · 3 years

Text

Eurovision 2021 Opinions, Predictions, and Rankings

DONE.

I really cut it close this time, but I got a couple days to relax until the contest! >.<

God, I missed Eurovision so much that I think I rambled a bit too hard....XD So, if you don’t have the patience to read all of this, I don’t blame you! I mainly just make these for fun, heh....But if you do read this, PLEASE be warned that I have some very unpopular opinions this year. It’s not as bad as some other years, but there’s a few things in here that will probably confuse people. I’m not trying to piss anyone off, I’m just sharing what I think of the songs and that’s all. I can’t even vote, so.....yeah!

Also, uh....be warned for excessive gushing, because I like the VAST majority of songs this year. There are only two that I’m indifferent to, and none that I outright dislike. And even the two songs I’m indifferent to, I managed to say some good things about, so I don’t outright bash any of the songs! I’m not a critic, I’m just a big Eurovision fan being happy talking about Eurovision.

Ummmm, anything else, hmmmm.....well, the rehearsals have been done, but I don’t watch those cuz I like going in blind. I like being surprised. So, I have no idea how any of the songs will be staged, keep that in mind.

Now, I think I said everything! Into the rambling!

(In alphabetical order by country)

Song: Karma Country: Albania Thoughts: We start our list off with a song that...I wish I liked more! This song is pretty good - I like the music (though the instrumental breaks are pretty busy, with a lot of noise at once) and the vocals are excellent, but...it's a pretty standard Albanian entry in that it lacks that extra wow factor for me. In fact, when I say "standard", I mean that when I haven't heard it in a few days and I try to get in into my head, I'll sometimes confuse it with "Ktheju tokës" (their 2019 entry). And I know that isn't fair to it, but the fact that I can't make it stick in my mind really says a lot to how little of an impact it made on me in the long run. "Ktheju tokës" WAS good, and this song is good, but man do Albania really have trouble standing out in this contest (with the one HUGE exception, of course <3) Prediction: I don't think this will qualify for the final, but I wouldn't be surprised if I was proven wrong. Albania have surprised me multiple times in recent years. I kinda don't wanna be surprised this time, since it could be at the cost of a song I like more (and yeah, it probably will be), but I still wouldn't rule it out. This song does have a chance. But for now, I'll say no, it won't qualify.

Song: Technicolour Country: Australia Thoughts: Time to take off your clothes- wait, that's not it? It's "cloaks"? OK then, if you say so...Not only is this a very cool and unique song, but it's also pretty catchy! It's kinda hard to put into words how I feel about this song. When I first heard it, I liked it OK but I also feared that it would grate on me after a bit, but thankfully, it didn't! In fact, this song grew on me, just the opposite of what I thought. I enjoy this song quite a bit now! The singer's voice is really good. She has impressive range. And there's nothing else this year that sounds like this. So, while I don't love it, I definitely like and respect it! It's an impressive entry from Australia, and I'm sad that they have to preform remotely. I hope that doesn't hurt them too much... Prediction: Oh, I wanna say they'll qualify so bad, cuz they deserve to! And even when their entries don't get love from the televote, they still get carried to the final by the juries, so....I think they might! C'mon, it's a good song and it deserves to do well! I don't even love it that much and I can still see the talent and appeal of this song, so yeah, I'm gonna say it'll qualify! The betters are underselling this! Might not do that well in the final, but eh, at least it'll be there.

Song: Amen Country: Austria Thoughts: And here we come to one of the weirder things this year: like 2015, there are two songs with the same name, leading to some confusion. I'll get to Slovenia's "Amen" way later, but for now all I'll say is that that's the one I think about more BY FAR. To the point where poor Austria here gets completely overshadowed by it. XD And that's really unfortunate, because this song is pretty good! It's very emotional, even moreso when you read that it's based on the deaths of the singer's daughter and aunt. It definitely hit me harder after I realized that it wasn't just a breakup song...and actually about death...The lyrics are also very good, especially the repeating of "Tell me, is this what you wanted?" which is a line that kinda hit me even on first listen? It just sounds so...sad, yet angry, especially with how he sings it...Though I will say that the opening lyric simply being "Amen, I guess" could be easily made fun of...but I'm not gonna do it. Not to this song. Even though it's far from one of my favorites, (and in terms of sad family songs doesn't come close to "You Let Me Walk Alone" levels), it's a good song. Prediction: I don't think Austria really have that much of a chance....but that doesn't mean they're doomed. They could touch hearts with this song, or they could be overlooked, could go either way. I personally think, um.....they won't qualify. Just cuz of the competition.

Song: Mata Hari Country: Azerbaijan Thoughts: Should I be annoyed at how blatantly Azerbaijan recycled their 2020 song? XD Well, I'm not! If anything, I find it funny that they included the line "Just like Cleopatra", which I took as full-on self awareness.....And I also don't mind because the song is awesome, so yeah. I can't help it, I'm a sucker for this stuff! I don't care how many times the song's name is yelled, it still sounds soooooo good! The instrumentals are amazing! The one before the end is easily the best part of the song. Y'know, where she just says "Let's go" and then the beat goes crazy? Perfect. This is a very solid borderline favorite for me. My only real gripe is that...uh, it's "goddess", not "godless"...I can clearly hear her pronounce an L and it bugs me. XD Prediction: In true Azerbaijan fashion, I think this'll be an easy qualifier. It's not a front-runner, but it's a very memorable song and there isn't really anything else like it in the first semifinal (maybe Israel if you squint? But that's a stretch) In the final, hmmmm....maybe it'll place in the middle somewhere? I don't think it'll do as good as "Truth" at least. That's my prediction.

Song: The Wrong Place Country: Belgium Thoughts: Not only is this a grower, but it's also the biggest grower of the bunch for me. Every year, there's that one song that I start out mostly indifferent to, that I do NOT expect to like as much as I end up liking it. The "O Jardim", the "Roi". This year, it's this one. It took me a few listens, but now I really like this song. I can't even explain why, it's just....cool! I like the dark, somber atmosphere of this song, and how it doesn't cross over into overly moody. It's just cool. And I like the lyrics, too. They flow really well, and I like how much detail there is. The whole thing just works so well....well, except for the line about the Johnny Cash t-shirt. That's just baffling. And that's the lyric they end the song with...but other than that, it's a great song that tells a story, with the atmosphere to match, and I really like it. Prediction: The only reason I'm not saying this is an easy qualifier is that the first semifinal is gonna be a bloodbath. XD I just went down the list, counting all the fan-favorites that would normally be shoo-ins, and I counted ELEVEN songs. There's GONNA be outrage that day, I just know it. Personally, I think Belgium could still do it, but it'll be really tough. I want them in the final, but my opinion doesn't matter here. Them making it will probably take a lot of effort, honestly, and...it could go either way. If I had to give an answer to what I think will happen, I'd say that they'll barely not qualify. But I'd be more than happy to be proven wrong! (As long as that doesn't mean losing Croatia in the process)

Song: Growing Up Is Getting Old Country: Bulgaria Thoughts: This one's....difficult. Not the MOST difficult song to rank (that's Cyprus), but man, it took me a while to figure out what I felt about it. In the end, I've decided that I...kinda like it. I'm putting it right at the bottom of the "like" category. Now, I know that a lot of people love this song, so just let me explain: I don't normally enjoy this kind of vocal. I didn't care for "Sebi" two years ago cuz it bored me, for example. This song at least builds a little bit, but it's not that exciting. Musically, this song doesn't do much for me, and that's why I'm ranking it so low. BUT....I love the lyrics. This is such a relatable song. Growing up does indeed get very, very, VERY old, and I worry about it all the flipping time. I do wish I could run from those worries. I like the reference to anxiety. I like lines like "Playing Tetris with my feelings, tryin' to keep them all inside". I like the switch to “Getting up is growing old”. It's really clever. Not to mention, her lethargic vocals actually FIT this subject. She's tired. So, I do appreciate this song for, well....speaking to me, even if I don't love it like so many others do. Prediction: Will definitely qualify without much issue. I can also see it doing pretty well in the final, like....Bulgaria have been in the top five twice in recent years, so this could possibly put them back up there? I personally don't think this song should be that high, but hey, this isn't about my feelings, this is my prediction. Uhhhh.....top ten.

Song: Tick-Tock Country: Croatia Thoughts: The first of my top seven favorites! Ohhhhh MAN did this song blindside me! When I first heard it, I remember the chorus letting me down! It was mostly due to not being what I expected from the pre-chorus, I guess I expected the music to burst with emotion or at least be louder.....but after only two or three listens, it grew on me completely, and I found myself trying to learn the lyrics and sing along. This is NOT another "Icebreaker", that’s for sure. I love the whole thing as it is and I wouldn't change a thing about it. This song is so! Darn! CATCHY! That chorus is incredibly infectious! Man, that beat is so flipping good! And when it switches to Croatian for a chorus, mmmmm good stuff! As someone who actually really enjoyed "Crazy", I still say this is Croatia's most solid entry since.....geez, 2010? Hope this one is more, um, successful than that one ended up being... Prediction: Oh no, oh no, oh noooooooo~....I really hope this doesn't end up underrated like Croatia's entries tend to be, but something tells me that I shouldn't be....TOO worried? ....OK, I'm still worried. XD The first semifinal is LOADED with awesome songs, so unless the staging for this is really really cool, it MIGHT struggle to stand out? Keyword being "might", cuz this is still a very good song....Maybe just being a good song will be enough! Of my two favorites in that semifinal, I'm more worried about Slovenia than Croatia, honestly. At least Croatia have an upbeat song. I'll try to be optimistic, and predict that it'll qualify. A lot of people seem to like it, so why not? However, if it doesn't qualify, I won't be too shocked....There's a lot of fan-favorites it's gonna have to compete with to get through. XD If it does make it, then I can't see it doing THAT badly in the final...

Song: El Diablo Country: Cyprus Thoughts: Hoo boy, here we go....So, this is easily the hardest song for me to rank. I'm sure that after I post this, I'll already be second-guessing my placement for it. But for now, here it goes......I love the chorus to this song just so much! It's SUCH a good thing to belt to, and I wish I could. I even love the "OooooooOOOOOOOOHHH~" after it! She has a GOOD singing voice! ...Too bad she barely uses it. Yeeaaaahhh, I'm...not very crazy about the rest of the song. The speak-singing verses, I got used to after a while, but they're still just ehhh. And the pre-chorus where she's just panting in the back with no other music? The bridge, where there's that stupid "I love El Diablo" chant that sounds like a playground taunt? Annoying. It feels like she's trying WAY too hard to be Lady Gaga, complete with throwing in words to another language for no reason other than to sound ~spicy~. As a fan of Lady Gaga, I'm sorry, but you're not doing a very good job! As I've said before, it's hard to come up with a concrete answer for how I feel about this song, because it has stuff I like AND stuff I don't like! And not only that...it's a BIG divide between the two. I don't just like the chorus, I LOVE the chorus. It's a SHORT chorus, but I love it! There are times I enjoy the song despite my complaints with it....but there are other days where I don't have enough patience to deal with stupid panting and "I lOvE eL dIaBlO", so really, I'm super torn here. I know this song's very popular, and I can see the appeal, I just wish I liked it more (especially since I've really liked the last few entries from Cyprus). Prediction: This song's currently in the top ten in the betting odds, so I think it might do a lot better than I expect. I personally don't think it's a top ten song, but it'll at least qualify for the final. And maybe do pretty well. Left side of the scoreboard, maybe? Cyprus are NOT an underrated country anymore, and the song's got a lot of energy, and it's definitely memorable, I'll give it that.

Song: omaga Country: Czech Republic Thoughts: Another song that has me conflicted, but not nearly as much as Cyprus'. My opinion on this one is a lot more simple: love the music, kinda iffy about the lyrics. This feels like it's sung by the kinda person that Destiny from Malta warns the ladies to stay away from. "You say you're still mad about the things that I did, but I don't know what I did". "Why don't you come over and have it? Why don't you let me have it?" I'm not the only one who thinks he's being really pushy, am I? I do think this song's just meant to be playful, but, uh....it doesn't come off that way to me. I mean, I guess I like the rhyming of "apocalypse" with "on my lips", that's pretty clever and I've never heard it before? But...overall, the lyrics honestly kinda creep me out. It reminds me of someone who just will not take no for an answer even when it's obvious that his presence isn't wanted because he thinks that she's just "playing hard to get". And she's not playing hard to get! He outright says that he did something to piss her off! Dude, leave her alone! Even if you're playing dumb saying you "don't know" what you did, that's not a reason to keep pestering her! ....But, *sigh* I can't be too mad at the song. When you get down to it, the most important thing in a song (especially in Eurovision) is the music, not the lyrics, and...this song sounds fantastic. It's really catchy, with a nice fun party vibe. I do enjoy listening to this when I don't think about it too hard. It's probably the most fun I've had listening to a Czech entry, so I still like it for that. This isn't a song worth being mad over. (Except the title. That title is so flipping stupid. Just say "oh my god", it's not hard. But that's a nitpick, pffff) Prediction: I kinda don't want this song to qualify since there are others in the second semifinal that I'd prefer to make it instead. Despite liking it, this is still one of my more least-favorites in that semi. XD But I still say this has a fair shot of qualifying, despite being performed early. But with the competition in the party song department by Serbia, Moldova, and San Marino, and their fairly low amount of fan attention, I'm gonna say no for this one. But I won't hate it if it qualified (as long as it doesn't push out Greece or Finland, which I don't think it will).

Song: Øve Os På Hinanden Country: Denmark Thoughts: Heck YEAH to Denmark sending a song in Danish! It's great to hear uncommon languages in Eurovision from countries that normally send songs in English! And dare I say that that's not my favorite thing about this song? Because this is another of my favorites! This song's been getting a flack for being "dated", and....yeah, maybe it is, but so what? I never claimed to have perfect taste, and I LOVE this kinda thing! 80s music is back, I say! Gosh, this song is so HAPPY! Well, uh, I can't even understand it, but it feels happy. And the instrumentation is so flipping good! The horns, the strings, UGH! I can't not smile while listening to this. If you don't like this song, that's fine, it's not for everyone...but I really appreciate Denmark for trying something different this year, especially since it turned into something that's completely to my tastes. Prediction: Yeah, uh...the odds don't look good for Denmark. Performing last, after so many people have made up their minds? With a song that's already not popular at all? Yeah....if they DO manage to qualify, I'll be VERY happy, but I don't think it's gonna happen...Man, most of my favorites are in danger this year...Eh, I'm used to it. But I'll say that they COULD possibly do it, due to nothing else sounding like them!

Song: The Lucky One Country: Estonia Thoughts: Oh look, another one of my favorites! Wow, what an emotional gut-punch this song is....these lyrics are seriously SO good. "Why'd you have to go and mess it up? Why'd you have to make what was unbreakable / Shakeable, unsaveable" "For a little while, the fates were with us / Wonder why they had to turn against us? / I could make a wish, but there is no use" "Thought I had a cloud over my head / It had to be my fault that it kept raining down, until, now, I figured out / That if I had the nerve to say goodbye, I could look for clearer skies up overhead" I....think that's enough, but holy crap, this song's mix of heartbreak and optimism is just PERFECT. "You broke my heart, but maybe that's a good thing, maybe I'm the lucky one because you're awful and I don't have to put up with it anymore." It's emotional, it's bittersweet, it's powerful...and it SOUNDS powerful too! Those quiet verses bursting into that chorus is great! This song is so flipping good! Why is it so underrated!? ...Oh yeah, cuz people who want emotion are to distracted by Switzerland's entry, I guess...or maybe it's just me, but eh. While I don't love it quite as much as my top three, this is a very solid fourth placer for me. Prediction: This song isn't qualifying, and I've accepted it. It's gotten very little attention (the music video is one of the ones under 1 million views), it was dead last in the betting odds last time I checked, and to top it off, it's being performed second in its semifinal, which won't do it any favors. I really do wish it could surprise me, but I don't think it will. I'm not getting my hopes up.

Song: Dark Side Country: Finland Thoughts: OH HECK YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH! Finland once again appealing to my tastes! OH MY GOD do I love this song! People have been heaping praise on this song left and right, so I can't say anything that hasn't already been said....but I'll praise it anyway! This song is so flipping intense! It manages to be dark while pumping me up for action, and being the best song at doing that this year. There's not much to say about the lyrics because I BARELY pay attention to them while listening (which is pretty much the only reason this isn't my number one), my brain just turns off all analytical thinking in favor of "HOO HOO HOO HOO EVERY PSYCHO IN THE SCENE HANDS UP AND FOLLOW ME" without caring about the actual words. I just love the music and vibe so much that it pulls me in so well! It goes so hard! That great hook that starts the song off also gives the song something catchy about it, too! Also points for including the line "We don't wanna grow up", that's great too. This is a song that you put on just to pump yourself up and feel awesome. The lyrics are pretty messed up, which makes me not wanna sing them out loud, but that barely counts as a point against it. It fits with the song's tone, and just....man, I remember how blindsided I was when I first heard it. That was my first clue that this would be something special. I'm also really happy that this song is getting attention because boy is that not true for a lot of my other favorites. XD Prediction: Despite Finland being one of the most underrated countries in the contest's history, with consistently poor results despite sending good song after good song...This one got popular, and most of the attention has been positive, to the point of it being just outside the top ten in the betting odds last I checked! So, I'm gonna be cautiously optimistic here and predict that they'll qualify without much issue. They're one out of only two of my favorites (the other being Greece) that I feel like I don't have to worry about. The song does a good job of standing out, which should help it a lot. As for how it'd do in the final...well, I want it to be in the top 10, but after whatever the frick happened with "Monsters" I'm convinced that Finland HAVE to end up underrated in some way...The only thing I can really say is that it'll probably give them their best result in years (since coming 11th that one time in 2014)? But that's all I can really say.

Song: Voilà Country: France Thoughts: If I can sum up my feelings about this one in one sentence it'd be....this is the new "City Lights" for me. Y'know, the Belgian entry in 2017? Got wildly popular, but I never fully understand why? Just found it kinda boring, and was indifferent to it? Yeah, copy and paste that here. In a year occupied by some really fun, happy pop songs, some really powerful ballads, and even a couple hardcore rock songs...a song like this is one of the favorites to win. And I'm sorry, but I don't...get it? Am I stupid? (Well, you'll probably think I'm stupid once we get to my number one but-) Why are people going nuts over this? This is one of the more boring songs of the year if you ask me! But that's being too harsh, cuz I CAN see that there's talent here. The vocals are nice, and I do give it points for growing on me at least a little. At the start, this was my least-favorite, but it's not anymore. I at least appreciate it for building at lot. I almost feel myself come close to liking it toward the end, when it's at its fastest. But that still isn't enough for me to see it as the potential winner that so many people see it as. If you like it, that's great! But even though I see the talent here, I can't jump on the bandwagon. I don't dislike it in the slightest, though. I will say that I'll take another "City Lights" over another "Amar Pelos Dois" any day of the week. At least if this song wins, I can say that it won't taint my view of the whole year. I'll just be like "cool, good for them". Prediction: I'd much rather Malta or Switzerland win over this, but I still can't rule out the possibility, which just how many people love this song and are rallying behind it. I can see the juries drooling over it too. If this does win, I'll see it coming, that's for sure. The possibility over a big five country that's not Italy doing so well feels weird, I'll admit...They're usually so underrated cuz they don't have to go through a semifinal. XD But back to my prediction, ummm....it's gonna do really well, I can't deny that. But since I consider myself Team Malta (or Italy) here, I'm gonna go with my gut and say that it won't win. Top five, though.

Song: You Country: Georgia Thoughts: Meh.....this one's probably my least-favorite, but not by a LOT. In fact, I far from outright dislike it. There are times when I find it kinda relaxing to listen to. Between this and my least-favorite in 2019, I think this one's less boring, which is a good point in this year's favor! It's more like...something's gotta be in last place, and this song's still pretty boring by comparison to everything else. But it's still a simple love song that has some nice lyrics, it's not annoying, and there's nothing wrong with it...well, there's nothing wrong with the SONG, that is... Prediction: Not qualifying. Yeah, this is an easy one. XD Now, um, I haven't SEEN this, but multiple people have claimed that the singer has said some really sketch stuff, which resulted in this already forgettable song....pretty much being a guaranteed flop. Granted, the video doesn't have quite as many dislikes as others (like.....P-Poland's....I'll get to that later), but it's still got a lot. If Georgia do qualify, I can easily see people getting upset. But I don't think it's gonna happen.

Song: I Don't Feel Hate Country: Germany Thoughts: OK, so....this song. This flipping song. By all counts, I should find it annoying. I really should. It's a song that reeks of passive-aggressive, better-than-you energy and I normally hate that! No, stop acting like you're sorry for me, you condescending prick! ...But dang it, I can't be mad at this song. I just can't. It just wouldn't be Eurovision without the resident goofy joke song, and this one fits the bill. Taking this thing seriously would make me look stupid. Not only that, but...I dunno if this is just me being very easily amused, but I just find this song funny? Like, actually funny? It's made me laugh multiple times! The lines that did so being the backing vocals going "SAY WHAT? He did not just say that!" followed by "Yes I did, and I feel sorry! I don't feel hate, that's the whole point of the song!" And even the stupid thing toward the end where it goes "So you can wigglewigglewigglewiggleWIGGLEWIGGLEWIGGLE-" It just puts a big dumb smile on my face, I can't help it! And the attitude of the singer goes down a lot easier when I think of him singing this to actual hateful people who lash out with bigoted comments, so that's helped it for me. If you don't like this song, I completely understand why. It's not for everyone! But it gets a thumbs-up from me (and not a middle finger) Prediction: I...don't know how this song's gonna go over with people? Will it annoy, or will it amuse? Will it be the next "Hatrið mun sigra" or the next "Moustache"? According to the betting odds, and the fact that it's Germany, I'm leaning more towards the latter. I don't see this doing particularly well. I can see the televoters liking it more than the juries at least, but it's still gonna be towards the bottom. I do think they'll do better than last or close to last, though. This song does have a lot of personality, that's for sure!

Song: Last Dance Country: Greece Thoughts: This song is breathtaking.....as in, whenever it comes on, it makes me stim so hard that I'm literally out of breath when it ends! And that's a really....really really good thing! Dear GOD this song is so awesome! Easily a top three choice for me. I already talked about why I love it before, and everything I said then is still true. I'm ever-so-slightly biased because I love songs that make me think of scenarios, and visualize them...especially when it's of, uh....w-well, uh....ideas of the comfort ship variety....And this song makes me think of dancing with my F/O (fictional other), feeling on top of the world, but also terrified of the moment ending, as she has to leave soon, so I hold on to her, not wanting to let go, wanting to savor this feeling until the dream is over....Uh, s-sorry for getting all poetic and stuff, but....I LOVE this song even beyond that bias! Listening to it is more of a rush than the song literally named "Adrenalina". The chorus BLASTS you with so much raw energy, it really DOES make you feel like you're dancing for your life until your lungs give out! You can feel the happiness, and the desperation, just so much...Truly, "Last Dance" is the PERFECT title. The verses aren't quite as strong as the chorus, which is the ONLY reason this song isn't my number one, but that dang chorus is enough for me to fall head-over-heels in love with it anyway. EASILY the best Greek entry for many many years. They've really, truly outdone themselves. Prediction: This has gotta qualify! Even if it doesn't get the awesome staging it deserves, it's still gotta qualify! This is one of the most popular songs in the second semifinal! Well, according to the betting odds anyway.....but c'mon! My energy SHOULD go into worrying about Poland and Estonia, so let me be right about this....let Greece be a shoo-in like I'm sure they are! I dare say that this could even finish on the left side of the board in the final! Unless some other songs REALLY surprise people live, but....for now, that's my prediction and I'm sticking to it!

Song: 10 Years Country: Iceland Thoughts: I wonder how Iceland feel about being the "projected winners of 2020". XD It's kinda like being an "honorary" winner, and....yeah, this country that's never won before, but has come second twice? They could've done it finally! But it didn't happen. It's like....is it a good thing to know that, or not to? Maybe a bittersweet mix of both....but the good thing that came out of it is that their artist got to come back this year with this song. My first word to describe this song is cute. It's a very adorable idea, being thankful for your spouse of ten years, and writing a song about it....Couple goals, honestly. XD That's enough for me to like it, cuz that's just so wholesome! But this is also a fun disco song, and it definitely stands out among everything else this year. So, thumbs up to Iceland yet again! Only other thing of note for me is that when I first heard it, the line "How does he keep getting better" led me to think this song was about a gay couple, and....it's not. He wrote it for his wife. I just find it kinda funny that I misinterpreted it that way, heh....(and it's not the only song that I misinterpreted, wait till we get to Portugal) Prediction: People love this artist and people love this song. It's gonna qualify. Not a winner (unfortunately for them), but it'll still do very well.

Song: Maps Country: Ireland Thoughts: Yet another grower. This is a really fast-paced song that I imagine would make good running music, and the lyrics are pretty good! I really like the line "My soul is a map, my heart is a compass, I am the road" for some reason...dunno why, but it sticks with me. Also, can't go wrong with strong drums! I just like the mood of this song overall, too. Happy, uplifting....freeing! Gives of the feeling of an explorer setting off to parts unknown, which is something that no other song this year does. Makes it unique! Whenever this comes on, I enjoy it a lot, but I sadly can't rank it any higher. It's still definitely one of Ireland's more solid, fun entries in recent years, up there with "22". I still like "22" a bit more since it was catchier, but this song is no slouch and I wish it got more attention. Prediction: *in the tone of Deerie from Helluva Boss* Yeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh, no...Sorry, Ireland, but I think you're doomed. I really like this song and I want it to do well! Ireland have had such bad luck in the past, too! But they've got no chance in the first semifinal. A miracle would have to happen for this to qualify. It's really unfortunate...

Song: Set Me Free Country: Israel Thoughts: Pretty catchy! I like the rhyming flow of the verses a lot, even if I still can't fully understand the lyrics (which....I dunno whether to blame on her voice or me not liking the song quite enough to wanna sing along to lyrics that go by so quickly). What I could make out is well-written, though - if Estonia's entry is about the heartbreaking parts of breaking up, this song is about the liberating parts. I'm free, now I can dance! "Set me FREEEEE~!" That part is so good. Sadly, this song isn't an absolute favorite of mine...partly cuz the "Imma, imma, aaaaahhh" parts are a bit repetitive and slightly wear on me, but mostly cuz of competition. It's one out of many upbeat, catchy songs this year, and not the best of them. Prediction: Ehhhh, this can go either way. I wanna say it'll qualify, though. Israel have been on a roll in recent years, and this song is good enough to continue that. I wouldn't call it a front-runner by any means, but it'll at least make it to the final and not bomb.

Song: Zitti E Buoni Country: Italy Thoughts: With very few exceptions, rock songs tend to...not do very well in Eurovision. Even when the songs are very good, fans of the contest just don't gravitate towards rock as much as the poppier stuff, and that's fine! Everyone has different tastes in genres, and rock fans and Eurovision fans might not overlap very much. But dang it if I still don't appreciate them showing up and loving it when they do! And especially loving it when they're as good as THIS! This song is SO good! I might prefer the Finnish entry in terms of intensity, but they're not really that comparable. This still goes REALLY hard, manages to be catchy at the same time, and I love every single turn it takes. That part where he sings really really fast, and especially that awesome bridge, ugh, it's all so good! It's not a favorite of mine PURELY due to loving other songs more, but this is one I like more every single time I hear it, and I've been bumping it higher and higher up through my borderline favorites until finally giving it a solid spot. This song's been getting a lot of attention and that makes me very happy, cuz it deserves it! Italy have topped themselves yet again. Prediction: Despite being a big fan-favorite, I don't think this is a winner....mainly due to, well, being a rock song in Eurovision (I HAVE heard the very rare complaint about it, like, saying the chorus is too loud, and....it's a rock song? That's the point???), but also....it's kinda the Italian curse at this point? XD Every single time Italy have a fan-favorite song, they just barely don't win (I still haven't forgotten how much of a shoo-in they seemed to be in 2017 before....well...people lost their minds). They do however, manage top five finishes, and I think it'll be the same thing here. I would love if it won, since I like it more than the three betters' favorites, but I'm not holding my breath. XD

Song: The Moon Is Rising Country: Latvia Thoughts: MAN this song's awesome! OK, so, you might've noticed that there are a few songs this year that have the same message: "I'm a woman and awesome". There's nothing wrong with that kinda thing at all, especially when said songs are all different in their own way! This one right here stands out RIGHT off the bat with a super powerful voice that cuts through everything and commands your complete attention, and DANG does it work! The lady's voice is outstanding, and the beat's not bad either! It's kinda repetitive with the "Padada-papa-rade" parts, but that's barely a problem when the rest of the song kicks so much butt. You got something to say? Say it to her face, coward! When it comes to the "I'm a woman and awesome" songs, I like Azerbaijan's slightly more. It's more fun. But this is a very solid song that I really enjoy, and I'm happy Latvia sent another song I like this much, with one of the best voices of the year. Prediction: Sadly, for as much praise as they've been getting on YouTube, Latvia aren't getting much love from the betters, so I have no idea how they'll do. It's very split. I wanna say that they have a chance, cuz they've got a VERY strong singer and I can also see some interesting staging to go along with it, but that's just speculation. XD Also, it's Latvia. When do they ever catch a break? So....this really could go either way, and of course I'd like them to qualify, but I'm gonna say they barely won't. Not every good song can be in the final, that's the sad truth of having so many slots.

Song: Discoteque Country: Lithuania Thoughts: Dance song for introverts, let's go! This is a fun, silly song with a good beat, and lyrics that encourage having fun by yourself ("Not like that, pervert!" - Sir Pentious, Hazbin Hotel), and....that's about it! There's not that much to talk about here, cuz with this song, what you hear is what you get. And that's fine, not every song needs to be picked apart and analyzed to explain why it's enjoyable. However, despite how much I love synth music, this song doesn't really hook me as much as other songs do. I understand the appeal, I understand why it's a fan-favorite, but to me, it lacks OOMPH. Musically, it just, kinda....stagnates? With the exception of that weird scatting part. And I think my biggest issue is that the lyrics, well, uh....immediately date it to this year, let's just say. I try to get around this by calling it a dance song for introverts, and that's how I usually think of it at this point, but yeah, it's kinda still an elephant in the room. But I still do like this song, I just don't love it. I'm happy that Lithuania are getting the attention they were denied last year, though. Prediction: Despite opening the show, I think this will be an easy qualifier, one of the songs to beat. I can see this being another top ten finish for Lithuania (maybe it'll finally break "We Are The Winner"'s record from 2006? We'll just wait and see).

Song: Je Me Casse Country: Malta Thoughts: Ohhhhhh MAN do I wish I could rank this one higher. If I wanted, I could bump it up to borderline favorite, but...I already have five of those! XD But dang it, Malta, a country that's never won Eurovision, finally pulls out a fan-favorite song (again, that is *cough*theyshould'vewonin2002*cough*), and I AGREE with that! Like the Italian entry, this is a song that gets better every time I listen to it. It's SO much fun! Not to mention the singer, Destiny - MAN, what a voice! One of the best voices of the year, I'd say (though I'm not surprised, since I loved her 2020 song too). Apparently she's a former Junior Eurovision winner? I'd believe that! I can praise her and this song for so long, and it's not even one of my favorites: I love the lyrics a lot! I'm all for positive messages, and this song manages to have fun while also doing that, AND taking jabs at sexists along the way with great lines like "I'm too good to be true, but there's nothing in it for you!" and the cute "Excuse my French~!" I love the fun swing instrumentals! I love the choir during the bridge! This is just a REALLY good song that deserves all the praise, and I'm so so happy for Malta. I'd best describe this song as "'Toy', but less jokey" (well.....lyrically. Musically, they're not that much alike, but....yeah, you get it) and I like it for for that! Prediction: Could this be Malta's year? A lot of people seem to think so! And....honestly, I'm all for it! I think this could be a very worthy winner. Not to mention, that of the current top three with the betters (this, Switzerland, and France), this is easily my favorite, so....I guess that counts as me rooting for it, unless some other song pulls a Conchita and shoots up the board after being heard live. For now, I'd say this is my pick to win (although my heart is still with Italy TTvTT) At the very least, it's a shoo-in for the final, cuz this is a singer who's been in this kinda environment and will probably sound great. I'd say at least top five!

Song: SUGAR Country: Moldova Thoughts: Moldova's back at it again with their silly antics! I absolutely love "Stay", but it's pretty clear that their entries get more buzz when they're being fun and weird. This song is neither the most fun or the weirdest of this year, but I still appreciate it all the same. Apparently this is the lady who sang in "Loca"? I remember that song....I don't think many other people do. Eh, I still like it, with its catchy rhythm, and its....weird rhymes....but this song is a vast improvement! I like the fun, flirty vibe to it. Sadly, however, with how many upbeat songs there are this year, this is one that kinda fades into the background compared to its competition....well, at least to me. It's good, but not great. I remember calling it a weaker version of the Azerbaijani entry in my first impression post, and that was way too harsh, but I still wouldn't rank it high. Prediction: However, I DO think this could qualify fairly easily. In the second semifinal with most of the mid- to low-tier songs with the betters (and really only Iceland, Finland, Bulgaria, and Switzerland being the ones to beat), this is one of the ones I think has a better chance of standing out. However, I've done this with Moldova's entries WAY too often....Loving them, predicting they'll qualify, only for them not to...I don't love this one, but it could be the same story here. For now, I'm gonna predict they'll qualify, though. I have no idea how they'll do once in the final, however...

Song: Birth Of A New Age Country: The Netherlands Thoughts: What a unique song! A language we've never heard before in Eurovision, incorporating the singer's nationality and culture into a song that sounds like nothing else this year. I'm honestly a bit surprised that this song isn't getting more attention! It's not one of my favorites, but I like it quite a bit. And not just for uniqueness points (that isn't enough to make me LIKE a song, just enough for me to RESPECT it), I honestly like how it sounds. The vocals are great, the beat is catchy, and the lyrics are very well-written. What was that about host countries never trying? XD Prediction: I want this song to do well, but I don't think it will....Well, I don't think it'll flop, but it won't be near the top either. Maybe in the 10-20 range. I do think the juries will like it.

Song: Here I Stand Country: North Macedonia Thoughts: So.....I feel like I SHOULD find this song boring, since a lot of people do, but...I like it. I don't LOVE it, but I like it! The lyrics are nice and....kinda hit home for me? At least a bit. The message of "keep pushing on, no matter what happens, don't let them break you" when coming out of a bad experience....It's nice. Kinda hard to fully explain without getting personal, so I won't. Not to mention that it has a good buildup, which is what I love in my ballads. In fact, maybe it's just me, but you know what song this reminds me of? "Home". At least musically. And I liked that song too, I thought it was underrated. Also, this has nothing to do with the actual song, but the video, but....even though I HATE being reminded of last year's cancellation, I like seeing the singer's thought process when writing this song. Even if people will probably think it's a pity party, I appreciate this song a fair bit. I know I'll probably look stupid for saying I think this song is more interesting than "Proud", but eh, that's FAR from my most unpopular opinion this year, just wait.... Prediction: Considering it's this year's "Home", and "Home" was so underrated that I believe it probably wouldn't have been in the final if it wasn't from the host country....Part of me wants to say that this song's doomed. Macedonia are normally one of the unluckiest countries in this contest's history no matter how good their songs are, and having one year where the juries loved them probably won't buck that trend. A lot of people are gonna overlook this song for being a fairly standard ballad, and yeah, it kinda is. So I don't think it's gonna qualify.

Song: Fallen Angel Country: Norway Thoughts: I loved this song from the first time I heard it. It was the first song of the bunch that I memorized the lyrics to. I like singing along to it. But I was certain, like DEAD certain, that it wouldn't go above a guilty pleasure to me. At first glance, this sounds like a really cheesy boy band song from the 90s, which is why I thought people were gonna eat it alive, and I was gonna have to attempt to explain myself for liking it (like I'm gonna do for the Polish entry). I grew up with this kind of music! I like it! And it's catchy! And the lyrics are just SO good! Feeling like you're not good enough for the person you love, and thinking that there's no way they can be happy with you, are feelings I really really relate to...so it's no wonder I jumped on those lyrics and etched them into my brain as quickly as I could. Helping that is that my current crush IS female, so I can easily sing this song while thinking of her...but even with that, I was still very hesitant to rank this song super high. After all, the reasons I had for liking it were purely just bias, right? That doesn't mean it's a good song, and people are still gonna make fun of it! I can see why they'd make fun of it! ....That's what I thought, but then I saw that it was ranked highly in the betting odds. And I no longer felt like I had to regret liking it anymore. And THEN, the music video finally was released, and HOO BOY, was this song so much deeper than I (or nearly ANYONE) thought...This isn't just a love song. It's about TIX's feelings of self-loathing. About being mistreated for a disability. It was his story. I was SO shocked at how wrong I was, and now I....kinda feel bad for projecting myself into it? I still can't help it, but....no, it's not about that anymore. I love this song fully and unironically, and I will never call it cheesy again. If you don't like the sound of it, or take it at face value, that's perfectly fine. But I love it. While this doesn't QUITE break into my top seven favorites, it's a very solid eighth. Prediction: Please qualify please qualify PLEASE!! Since it's in the Bloodbath Semi and fan-favorite songs WILL be cut, I'm really really hoping for this not to be one of those. This deserves to be in the final! I'd even say that this deserves it more than Slovenia and Croatia (songs I actually like more)! B-but...ugh...I can't say for certain that it'll be safe, that's the thing...but, haaaaah, OK, I'll predict it'll qualify. I think I'm overreacting. Norway have a pretty good record. I can see the people who like this song being enough to make it do pretty well, though it's definitely not a winner.

Song: The Ride Country: Poland Thoughts: You ever have a song that you can't focus on anything during? Like, you're focusing on something else with music playing in the background, but then that one song comes on and you just HAVE to take a break so you can listen to it because it's just SO good that it steals all your attention? That's me with this song. "The Ride" is right, it IS a ride, a ride I NEVER wanna get off of. And considering the only other Eurovision songs to effect me in that way have been flipping "Time" and "You Are The Only One" ("Stones" came close to doing that too, but I could at least still play during it cuz it was such good action music), then it should come as no surprise that yes, this is my favorite song of the year. And yes, I KNOW how stupid I probably look saying that. This song has NOT been a popular choice, but to heck with it! I can't help what music I like! This song is just so flipping catchy and fun, it's got a nice beat, and I've loved it from first listen! I'm not sorry! Heck, it's even kinda atmospheric in a way, in that it's a good nightlife song, giving off the feel of an amusement park at night with all the rollercoasters lit up with LEDs as you feel the wind in your face, no cares, no worries....just turn your brain off and sing along. I even like the lyrics, particularly "It doesn't matter if I stumble and fall / I'll make it through, I'll never touch the ground". It's enjoying life, it's the feeling of flying, it's feeling on top of the world, it's escapism. Have I defended this silly song enough? Point is: I. Love. It. This is the first time a Polish entry has EVER topped my list, which by default makes it my favorite entry from them ever, and I'm happy to give them love (they've been my second-favorite twice, but one of those barely counts cuz it was in a weak year and also a song that sounded bad live, so....yeah, my former favorite Polish entry was their 1998 entry, which....didn't do well, but uh, that's then not now ^^;) Prediction: This is what I've been dreading....for a song that makes me wanna leave all my stress behind, it sure does stress me out thinking of how much HATE it's getting, oh boy oh boy! Though, from what I've picked up, MOST of the hate has come from fellow Polish people who are upset that it wasn't who they wanted as their entry? So...that's not accurate to how everyone else thinks? Well, that's what I've seen, at least....This song's still not doing very well in the betting odds, and also, being an electronic song, the possibility if it sounding worse live than in the studio is....definitely a possibility.....S-so....yeah....Sadly, as much as I love it, I can't trick myself into thinking it has a chance....It's probably not gonna qualify....If it does surprise me (which HAS happened before with favorites I thought were doomed!) I'll probably flip out!! Unlike Estonia's entry however, I don't think it's AS doomed, might stand out more, and a small part of me wants to hope...The fact that the semifinal it's in, the second, is the one with the less fan-favorites, does increase its odds ever so slightly...b-but uh, I don't wanna get too hopeful! I don't want my heart broken again like with "Look Away" two years ago (which I LEGIT thought had a chance XD)

Song: Love Is On My Side Country: Portugal Thoughts: Kay, so first, before talking about my thoughts, lemme share the hilarious misunderstanding I had about this song for the first few times I heard it: I normally don't watch the videos, I only listen to the playlist in the background as I play video games or do other stuff. Even the first time I heard the songs, I didn't watch the videos, I just had the music playing in one tab and was focusing on typing on Tumblr. And....I thought this song was sung by a woman. True story. I thought it was a woman with a very unique voice, and I was gonna praise the song for that. But nope! Took me WAY too long - about over a WEEK, the time I decided to start reading comments - for me to learn the singer's a man. OOPS. XD But at least it kinda makes sense for me to think that way? With lyrics like "I never thought I'd be queen", he's clearly telling the story of a woman. In fact, I learned that it's the true story of a woman he met (I forget the details though). So yeah, I thought that was kinda funny, but how do I actually feel about the song? Well, it's a grower! I was worried that it'd stagnate for me and I'd end up indifferent, but the unique voice combined with a subject that I normally like (staying optimistic in bad situations) won me over. I don't love it, but it's nice and has good lyrics. You really feel bad for the woman (seriously, leaving home at sixteen?) so it's effective. I wanna believe love is on my side too... Prediction: This one's tough, cuz a lot of people do love this song, and it does a good job of standing out by being the slowest song in its semifinal, I don't really think a lot of people will gravitate toward it? And that it just barely won't qualify? But it could really go either way. I'm gonna predict it won't qualify and that it'll be the "robbed" one people will be upset about in the second semi. But maybe I'm just saying that cuz that semi will already be painful for my favorites, too...and I'd prefer Poland, Denmark, or Estonia's slim SLIM chances to come through over this.

Song: Amnesia Country: Romania Thoughts: This song is just a whole mood. I could just end my thoughts with that one sentence, cuz that really just about sums it up. XD Self-love is something I've always struggled with, and I've been trying really really hard to get better at it this year. Without getting too personal, there was something that happened a few months back that made me realize just how badly my hatred for myself was effecting people around me, and that I needed to lighten the crap up before it comes off the wrong way and....I-I bring others down with me....But after all that, it was HARD. It really did feel like I.....lost myself trying to have it all. But I'm slowly learning to better myself, and this song spoke to me because of that. "If you feel what I feel, don't bring yourself down, you're not alone, not alone now". It's simple, but it works. Admittedly, I respect this song more than I like it, but I do like it. There are just a lot of songs I'd prefer to listen to. And the POV switching from first to second-person confuses me a bit (she says that YOU'RE not alone, and then that SHE lost herself, and then goes back to YOU'RE not alone? Who's the one with the amnesia?) but that's just a nitpick, and I've heard much worse English in Eurovision than that. This is still a good song with a very good message that I needed to hear. Prediction: Even in the bloodbath that will be the first semifinal, I do think this song's mostly safe? Mostly...Romania haven't had the best of luck the past 2-3 years, but their record is still mostly hits, and this song's still the favorite of people. But some favorites are gonna get snubbed, and honestly, I wouldn't mind if it's this one. There are songs I like more. But for my actual prediction, um....I think it'll qualify.

Song: Russian Woman Country: .....Russia Thoughts: This one's a grower. I can't deny its catchiness. Sometimes it's gets in my head completely randomly, particularly that slow part with the...is that a choir? Um, background singers. That part (I don't wanna butcher Russian lyrics, sorry! >.<) But, even with that, I don't fully love this song. I know it's gotten a lot of attention, but to me, it just....doesn't hit very much? I thought about it, and I came up with this: this is a song by a Russian woman, for Russian women, and ONLY Russian women. It's about how strong they are, and how they should rise up against their country's sexism and- it's all very specific to Russia? So, I can't really enjoy it as much as the people its aimed at, and that's fine, because, well, it's NOT aimed at me and I shouldn't pretend it is! I'm not even in the target audience for this whole dang contest! XD So, my opinion DOES NOT reflect what I think of the quality of the song. The song's good. It's very catchy. There's nothing wrong with it. I just can't relate to it, which make it my personal least-favorite of the "I'm a woman and awesome" songs of this year. (What happened to Little Big tho?...) Prediction: Yeah, they're gonna easily qualify, even in such a stacked semifinal they're safe. They've been shooting up the betting odds recently, so I feel like they could do very well, maybe even finish in the top ten. Russia's like Sweden in that if their entry is popular, its guaranteed a spot toward the top. XD

Song: Adrenalina Country: San Marino Thoughts: Holy CRAP is this one heck of a grower! When I first heard it, I was more confused by the sudden appearance of Flo Rida of all people to really think about if I like the song. And for a while, I didn't even think I liked the rap all that much? I do like plenty of mid-song raps, but this one I felt didn't really fit the song all that well. Like it was just pasted in there from another song entirely. But, a few listens later, and I started rapidly liking this song more and more. Fitting for its name, there's just nothing but energy here. It's a great song to put on to just....pump me up! The whole thing's just dripping with a sense of pure fun. The instrumentals are great, it just sounds so good! In terms of growers, this is a close second to the Belgian song. Also, while I'm not a huge fan of Flo Rida normally, comparing past Sanmarinese entries I will say that his rap is a LOT better than the rapping in "Who We Are" was, that's for sure! Prediction: This song doing so well in the betting odds is.....honestly amazing. XD This is the most hype San Marino's EVER gotten, which I think could qualify them for the final? But also, maybe not...with San Marino, you never know. They are helped by Flo Rida's name recognition but there's NO way he's as big in Europe as he is in America (and even in America, I haven't met that many people who are actually fans of Flo Rida), so...is it enough? I think it very well could be! It's a very good song, and Senhit's been in Eurovision before so hopefully she knows what she's doing on stage. Also, this is a song that better have cool staging with it! But for my prediction....screw it, I'm gonna predict they're gonna qualify. I even say this as I have favorites in the second semifinal that they're definitely gonna push out, but ah well...

Song: LOCO LOCO Country: Serbia Thoughts: Yet another super fun, upbeat song! And while I don't love this song as much as others (Poland's, Denmark's, and Azerbaijan's entries, even San Marino's at this point), this is still one of my more favorite of that type, and I....honestly couldn't tell you why! It has a lot of energy, but it sounds different enough to stand out. And it's catchy while not being in English! I kinda wish I could learn Serbian so I could sing along to this...XD It also grabs my attention from the very start. I dunno why, but I love that "Hur- Hur- Hur- Hurricane!" followed by the beat starting, I find it to be a cool and infectious way to pump me up for the song. Overall, one of the songs that I don't think about a lot, but when it comes on, I enjoy every second...Oh and also it has one of the most exciting key changes of this year so there's that too. Good job to Serbia! Prediction: I think this one's a fair bet to qualify! However, it's not guaranteed. They're not attracting THAT much attention in the betting odds (which surprises me a bit), but the second semifinal seems to be where MOST of the lower-ranked songs are (sadly, says the person with three favorites in it), and among those, I think Serbia will most likely make it. The song stands out a lot. So I'm gonna predict they'll qualify! But if they don't, ah well, it could be to make way for a song I like more (hopefully...I wouldn't wanna say goodbye to this song to make way for the Czech or Austrian songs), so I wouldn't mind THAT much I hope. As for the final, they're definitely not a front-runner, so I could see them ultimately stuck around the middle. Unfortunate since I like this song a lot.

Song: Amen Country: Slovenia Thoughts: Where to start with this one....This is one of my favorites, and it's in the same way as "Stay" in 2019 and "Mall" in 2018 where I have a hard time really articulating why. It's a song that makes me FEEL, and it's hard to convey that in words, so yeah! This song just....hits me so hard in the gut whenever I hear it, so I love it! It's effective at its job! Even the big thing that I thought would hold it back for me - being a religious song - didn't hurt it at all in the end. The lyrics are ambiguous enough that it doesn't JUST come off as preachy and religious and that's all. It can also be taken as a song of rising above tragedy...The most religious thing it does is mention the heavens casting you out, and that can be taken in multiple ways. But if it is meant to be religious, that's fine, I've already made the decision to love it. I'm agnostic, so I don't outright hate religious music if it's not trying to shove messages in my face. The moment I fell in love with this song was one day when I was feeling really down, was listening to the playlist to unwind, and then this song came on right after Romania's entry (which I already talked about relating to a lot). When I heard the chorus, I literally teared up. THIS is the song that made me cry this year. Not Austria's or Spain's (the songs literally about dead family members), but this one. Is that...something to be ashamed about? XD I just....really love the lyrics...."The storm's relentless, but everybody knows, everybody knows we're born to the fight"...It really just sounds so uplifting, and yes, spiritual. And even beyond that, I just like how the song sounds! I love ballads that build, and this one BUILDS, with such a soaring chorus. The vocals are outstanding, too! That's one powerful voice! I also really love how, after you think it's over, it comes back for one final chorus, that's probably one of the best parts of the song. This song makes GREAT use of the recorded backing vocals, making the choir sound absolutely massive, a lot more than it'd be live. It really makes it sound so big and grand....Uh, I've rambled about this song enough, haven't I? Uhhh, point is: This is my favorite ballad of the year and I'm not sorry. I think it's underrated as heck. Prediction: And because it's underrated as heck, and in such a packed bloodbath of a semifinal crammed full of fan-favorites battling to the death, I....don't think....it'll qualify.....I'd obviously LOVE it too, but the competition's so flipping strong, and....I-it's still just a ballad, so it's not to everyone's tastes...I-I've come to terms with that fact, and if Croatia make it, I'll try not to be too bummed when this doesn't.

Song: Voy A Quedarme Country: Spain Thoughts: At first, I was pretty indifferent to this song, but it slowly grew on me, and now I like it. It builds just enough to keep me interested. It's still low tier compared to everything else, but I can appreciate it all the same. It sounds so emotional that I went into comments to see if there was some kind of story attached to it, and, uh....let's just say that there is, and....it's depressing. But it did make me respect the song even more. There's not a lot to say here, but that doesn't mean it's bad. It's just....overshadowed, I guess. Not a standout song, but it's genuine, and I like it just fine for what it is. Prediction: Oof...Spain once again find themselves overlooked, and even though the song's fine, I can see why. I can't see this doing very well...If flipping "La Venda" ended up an underrated flop, a song like this isn't gonna get Spain outta their rut. I really do wanna see them do well! But this isn't the year for that.

Song: Voices Country: Sweden Thoughts: Dang it....they did it again. XD Part of me wanted to be bummed that we didn't get The Mamas again, cuz they would've been my favorite last year, but....Sweden know what they're doing, and what they brought us was still really, really good. Like.....REALLY good. Are the lyrics on the generic side? Ummmm.....maybe? I have said that this is a relatively "safe" entry, but that doesn't mean it's not really good. More like...there's been a lot of songs with similar lyrics in Eurovision. But that doesn't take away from the music at all, which is awesome. The chorus is nice and big, the vocals are good, and the little bagpipe bits are such a neat touch. There isn't any big standout elements to me, and it's nowhere near "Too Late For Love" level, but it's just a very solid song. And.....dare I say, better than that other popular song that mentioned a million voices. Prediction: Do I even need to say anything here? XD It's a popular song from Sweden. It's gonna qualify and place in the top ten! Done!

Song: Tout l'Univers Country: Switzerland Thoughts: Switzerland are riding the high from "She Got Me" and have once again sent a big fan-favorite song! Except this time, it's one of the predicted winners! What do I think of this? Well....it's a good song. I love powerful ballads, and this one adds drums, which I also love! But at the same time....I'm not nearly as crazy about it as other people are. Don't get me wrong, I LIKE it, but...I feel like we already got this kinda song with "Arcade"? I mean, there are differences, but its got a very similar sound with a similarly big chorus. But then again, I do think that just calling it "'Arcade' but in French" would be WAYYYY too harsh. It's not a copycat, it's very much its own thing. It just seems to be a coincidence. Also, even compared to this year's songs, I enjoy Slovenia's more? If I want a powerful song, I'd take that over this. MAYBE if I understood the lyrics, I'd like it better, but even so, this song doesn't WOW me, even if it's good. I'm happy for Switzerland, but....dang it, I can't say the O word here, cuz I hear the appeal and don't wanna come off as mean to a song I DO like aaaaaaa- Prediction: Even though it's not a personal favorite, I'm not gonna deny that this song could possibly win. I feel like the juries would adore it on top of all the attention its already getting. So, yeah, it's definitely making it to the final and doing very well. As for winning, I....honestly don't think so, but only cuz of how strong the competition is. So, I'll just say that right now, it's looking like this song will give Switzerland their best result in a long long time, doing better than "She Got Me" and (tragically) "Cool Vibes". It's obvious that in terms of how I'd rank the big favorites, I'd personally prefer Malta winning, but I would prefer this to France, so it's in the middle. But even putting my opinions aside, I really can't see it pulling off the win, at most coming really close.

Song: SHUM Country: Ukraine Thoughts: Like with Malta and San Marino's songs, this is a song that, while not a favorite, gets better and better the more I hear it. I should really think about it more often, cuz this song is REALLY cool! My first instinct was to compare it to "Fire Of Love" from two years ago (a song that wasn't popular even though this song is?) but after some time, I realized that that isn't a fair comparison. Literally the only similarity is the vocal style. Everything else is different. But man is this song fun! I could look up what the lyrics mean, but I don't really feel like the lyrics matter here as much as the music does. This song is clearly about the beat. I love synth music, and I also like bouncy stuff that I can rock along to, and this song is as bouncy as can be! The lyrics do repeat, but weirdly I don't find that repetitive at all. And once I got used to it, I started to love the speed up. It's a really exciting end to the song. Talk about going out on a....high note! Haha! S-sorry.... Prediction: Yeaaaahhhh, there's no doubt that this song's gonna do very well indeed! People love it, and for good reason! It's a sure qualifier for the final, and could very well finish in the top ten.

Song: Embers Country: United Kingdom Thoughts: And finishing off this list is yet another upbeat happy song! God, I love how many of these there are this year....This one is far from the best of its kind, but it's still a lot of fun. The vocals stand out, the lyrics are nice and uplifting, and it's definitely the UK's bounciest entry in quite a few years. It feels like finally getting that uptight friend of yours to loosen up and party, y'know? XD I don't have much to say about this song, but I do like it. Prediction: What happened to "Bigger Than Us" was unfair, both its placement in the lineup and its treatment by the televoters, and it's pretty much cemented my idea that even if the UK send one of the best songs of the year, they will NOT catch a break, and that just sucks! (well, the exception being 2011, where it was the JURIES that screwed them over instead! Still did good for their standards tho) And also, like I said, this isn't the only song like this this year, so it's bound to get overlooked in favor of more popular (and even better) party songs. I don't think it'll be LAST, but it won't do particularly well. Definitely more toward the bottom than the top.

Aaaaaaaand there we go! That's all of them! Geez, despite having less entries then the past few years, this still was a LOT of rambling....so if you skipped ahead, I totally understand why. XD But if you did read all that, I'm happy you did! But I'm also sorry, pfffff. But now, the important part, my rankings!

Favorites:

1. Poland 2. Finland 3. Greece 4. Estonia 5. Denmark 6. Slovenia 7. Croatia

Borderline Favorites:

8. Norway 9. Italy 10. Azerbaijan 11. Latvia 12. Sweden

Like:

13. Belgium 14. Malta 15. San Marino 16. Serbia 17. Ukraine 18. Iceland 19. Ireland 20. UK 21. Cyprus (today at least) 22. Australia 23. Netherlands 24. Moldova 25. Romania 26. Germany 27. North Macedonia 28. Portugal 29. Israel 30. Lithuania 31. Russia 32. Switzerland 33. Czech Republic 34. Albania 35. Austria 36. Bulgaria 37. Spain

Indifferent:

38. France 39. Georgia

#eurovision #opinions

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mostlysignssomeportents · 4 years

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Pluralistic: 26 Mar 2020 (EFF's videoconferencing backgrounds, the ideology of economics, LoC plugs Little Brother, Canada nationalizes covid patents, Exponential Thread, Sanders on GOP stimulus cruelty, record wind power growth, social distancing and other diseases, Badger Masks)

Today's links

EFF's videoconferencing backgrounds: With a deep cut from the NSA's secret listening post.

The ideology of economics: Economics doesn't have "laws" it has "policies."

LoC plugs Little Brother: Open access FTW.

Canada nationalizes covid patents: An Act respecting certain measures in response to COVID-19.

Exponential Threat: Trump threatened to sue media outlets that aired this spot.

Sanders on GOP stimulus cruelty: "Millions for plutes, but not one cent for workers."

Record wind-power growth: Covid stimulus could start a Green New Deal.

Social distancing and other diseases: Do we trust IoT thermometer companies, though?

Badger Masks: UW Madison's open facemask design.

This day in history: 2005, 2010, 2015, 2019

Colophon: Recent publications, upcoming appearances, current writing projects, current reading

EFF's videoconferencing backgrounds (permalink)

Telework is a quiet reminder that we live, in some sense, in an age of wonders. As terrible as lockdown is, imagine it without any way to videoconference with your peers and colleagues.

But it's also a moment where we tremble on the precipice of cyberpunk dystopia, when calls for mass surveillance – both for epidemiology and stabilizing states that are bruised and reeling – meet a world where everything is online and amenable to "collection" by spooks.

This is, basically, the moment that EFF has been warning about for 30 years: the moment when the "digital world" and the "real world" fully merge, and where the distinction between "tech policy" and "policy" dissolves.

One way you can help keep this in your colleagues' minds is to use EFF's amazing, free/open graphics as your videoconferencing background (most of these are the creation of the brilliant Hugh D'Andrade).

Now, those are all great, but this one is Room 641A at AT&T's Folsom Street center, where the whistleblower Mark Klein was ordered to build a secret room so the NSA could illegally spy on all US internet traffic.

The ideology of economics (permalink)

Thomas Piketty's "Capital in the 21st Century" advanced a simple, data-supported hypothesis: that markets left to their own will cause capital to grow faster than the economy as a whole, so over time, the rich always get richer.

https://boingboing.net/2014/06/24/thomas-pikettys-capital-in-t.html

He's followed up Capital with the 1000-page "Capital and Ideology" – whose thesis is that the "laws" of economics are actually policies, created to "justify a society's inequalities," providing a rationale to convince poor people not to start building guillotines.

The first ideology of capital was the "trifunctional" system of monarchist France, dividing society into "those who pray," "those who fight," and "those who work."

After the French revolution, we enter the capitalist phase, then social democracies, and now, "meritocracies."

"Meritocracies" invest markets with the mystical power to identify and elevate the worthy, in a kind of tautology: those who have the most are worth the most. You can tell they're worth the most because they have the most.

("That makes me smart" -D. Trump)

In Piketty's conception, "Inequality is neither economic nor technological. It's ideological and political," where "ideology" "refers to a set of a priori plausible ideas describing how society should be structured" (think: Overton Window).

https://bostonreview.net/class-inequality/marshall-steinbaum-thomas-piketty-takes-ideology-inequality

The major part of the book seeks to explain how the post-war social democracies gave way to the grifter meritocracies of today, pulling together threads from across the whole world to tell the tale.

On the way, he described alternatives that were obliterated, and others that were never tried, and shows how "meritocracy" gave us Trump, xenophobia, Brexit, and the Current Situation.

In particular, he's interested in why working class people stopped voting (spoiler: they no longer perceive that elites will pay attention to them irrespective of how they vote) — and what it would take to mobilize them again.

The elites' indifference to working people is grounded in an alliance between the Brahmin Left (educated, well-paid liberals) and the Merchant Right (the finance sector). Notionally leftist parties, like the Democrats, are dominated by the Brahmin Left.

But more than any other, Macron epitomizes this alliance: proclaiming his liberal values while slashing taxes on the wealthy — punishing poor people for driving cars, exempting private jets from his "climate" bill.

Life in a "meritocracy" is especially cruel for poor people, because meritocracies, uniquely among ideologies, blame poor people for poverty. It's right there in the name. French kings didn't think God was punishing peons, rather, that the Lord had put them there to serve.

"The broadly social-democratic redistributive coalitions of the mid-twentieth century were not just electoral or institutional or party coalitions but also intellectual and ideological. The battle was fought and won above all on the battleground of ideas."

As Marshall Steinbaum writes in his excellent review, Piketty's work doesn't just highlight new ideas in economics: it highlights the intellectual poverty of the economics profession and its tunnel vision.

"Economists cannot be allowed to be the arbiters of the intensely political concerns Piketty takes up in the book, and the good news is that there is reason to believe they won't be."

LoC plugs Little Brother (permalink)

Honored and pleased to have my book Little Brother included on the Library of Congress's excellent collection of open-access ebooks in its collection, which you can always access gratis but which may be of especial interest during the lockdown.

https://blogs.loc.gov/thesignal/2020/03/more-open-ebooks-routinizing-open-access-ebook-workflows/

If you enjoyed Little Brother and its sequel Homeland, you might be interested in the third Little Brother book, Attack Surface, which Tor is publishing on Oct 12.

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250757531

If you're looking for more topical reading, Infodocket's carefully curated list of coronavirus resources is here for you:

https://www.infodocket.com/2020/01/31/2019-novel-coronavirus-resources/

Canada nationalizes covid patents (permalink)

Canada's Parliament has passed Bill C13, "An Act respecting certain measures in response to COVID-19," amending patent law to create automatic compulsory licenses for any inventionused to fight covid, including diagnostics, vaccines, therapies or PPE.

https://www.parl.ca/DocumentViewer/en/43-1/bill/C-13/third-reading

As E Richard Gold writes, it's an "important signal that Canada will not support IP delays…While most firms are helping find solutions, this will prevent those who try to take advantage-by raising prices or limiting supply-or those who cannot deliver to block what is needed."

Exponential Threat (permalink)

"Exponential Threat" is a remarkable – and factual – political ad, one that contrasts Trump's statements on coronavirus with the spread of the disease in America.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkMwvmJLnc0

More remarkable: Trump has threatened to sue the media for airing it, which is a totally cool and normal thing for someone who has sworn a solemn oath to uphold the Constitution and the Bill of Rights to do.

https://assets.donaldjtrump.com/2017/web/hero_images/Redacted_PUSA_Letter.pdf

"In case you needed more, here's an (admittedly incomplete) list of Trump statements on the novel coronavirus and COID-19"

http://www.joeydevilla.com/2020/03/25/exponential-threat-the-covid-19-themed-ad-that-the-trump-pence-campaign-doesnt-want-you-to-see/

Jan. 22: "We have it totally under control. It's one person coming in from China."

Feb. 2: "We pretty much shut it down coming in from China. It's going to be fine."

Feb. 25: "CDC & my administration are doing a GREAT job of handling Coronavirus."

Feb. 25: "I think that's a problem that's going to go away. They have studied it. They know very much. In fact, we're very close to a vaccine." [White House | New York Post]

Feb. 26: "We're going very substantially down, not up."

Feb. 27: "One day it's like a miracle, it will disappear."

Feb. 28: "We're ordering a lot of supplies. We're ordering a lot of, uh, elements that frankly we wouldn't be ordering unless it was something like this. But we're ordering a lot of different elements of medical."

March 2: "You take a solid flu vaccine, you don't think that could have an impact, or much of an impact, on corona?"

March 2: "A lot of things are happening, a lot of very exciting things are happening and they're happening very rapidly."

March 4: "If we have thousands of people that get better just by, you know, sitting around and even going to work – some of them go to work, but they get better."

March 5: "I never said people that are feeling sick should go to work."

March 6: "I think we're doing a really good job in this country at keeping it down… a tremendous job at keeping it down."

March 6: "Anybody right now, and yesterday, anybody that needs a test gets a test. And the tests are beautiful. They are perfect just like the letter was perfect. The transcription was perfect. Right? This was not as perfect as that but pretty good."

March 6: "I like this stuff. I really get it. People are surprised that I understand it. Every one of these doctors said, 'How do you know so much about this?' Maybe I have a natural ability. Maybe I should have done that instead of running for president."

March 6: "I don't need to have the numbers double because of one ship that wasn't our fault."

March 8: "We have a perfectly coordinated and fine tuned plan at the White House for our attack on Coronavirus."

March 9: "The Fake News media & their partner, the Democrat Party, is doing everything within its semi-considerable power to inflame the Coronavirus situation."

March 10: "It will go away. Just stay calm. It will go away."

March 13: National Emergency Declaration.

March 17: "I felt it was a pandemic long before it was called a pandemic."

Sanders on GOP stimulus cruelty (permalink)

This Bernie Sanders floor speech in the Senate on the GOP's relentless attempts to punish poor people in the covid relief package is a must-watch

https://www.reddit.com/r/SandersForPresident/comments/fp3my0/bernie_goes_full_sanders_on_the_republicans_for/

tldr: GOP Senators are freaking out because some people in line to get the pittances they're doling out actually earn EVEN LESS than $1k-2k/month, and so they might get a raise in the form of covid relief.

That is, rather than taking the fact that this bare-minimum subsidy package exceeds "normal" income as a wakeup call to raise the minimum wage for the first time since 2009, the GOP is calling for cuts to aid to the most vulnerable Americans.

As Sanders points out, these same Senators had no problem with the Tax Scam, which poured trillions into the accounts of the richest Americans, directly and indirectly through stock-buybacks, which also left US business vulnerable and in need of trillions more today.

Now those bailed-out plutes want workers to risk death to "restart the economy," and the GOP will ensure they'll starve if they don't.

As ever, The Onion nails it:

https://politics.theonion.com/gop-urges-end-of-quarantine-for-lifeless-bipedal-automa-1842461351

"GOP Urges End Of Quarantine For Lifeless Bipedal Automatons That Make Economy Go"

Record wind-power growth (permalink)

As the world's wind-generation capacity increases, you'd expect annual growth to fall proportionately (it's easier to double a very small number than a very big one!), but this year should see the largest proportional growth ever, a 20% increase!

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2020/mar/25/worlds-wind-power-capacity-up-by-fifth-after-record-year

That number is uncertain (hello, coronavirus), but on the other hand, there's a massive stimulus package in the offing that could be used to restart the economy by saving the planet with renewable energy.

The non-adjusted, pre-virus projection for this year's total growth in wind power was an additional 76GW (to meet climate projections, that number has to rise to 100GW/year, and then to 200GW/year).

Social distancing and other diseases (permalink)

Though the evidence is a little shaky, it appears that social distancing has dramatically reduced the spread of other infectious diseases, like flu.

https://qz.com/1824020/social-distancing-slowing-not-only-covid-19-but-other-diseases-too/

The data comes from an Internet of Shit "connected thermometer" company that (allegedly) anonymizes its data and uses it for health surveillance; they report a massive drop-off in high temps relative to other years and pre-distancing levels.

The claims are plausible, but they're also an ad for an IoT company that sells a product no one needs, so take them with a grain of salt.

I'd be interested in STI transmission after weeks/months of government-recommended masturbation-over-hookups:

https://www1.nyc.gov/assets/doh/downloads/pdf/imm/covid-sex-guidance.pdf

Badger Masks (permalink)

A local hospital asked researchers at the UW Madison Engineering Design Innovation Lab to design them a field-expedient face-shield that could be mass-manufactured to protect its staff from coming cases.

https://www.wired.com/story/tinkerers-created-face-shield-being-used-hospitals/

Using hardware-store parts, the UW makerspace, and teleconferencing with self-isolating collaborators, the team designed an excellent mask, the Badger Shield:

https://making.engr.wisc.edu/shield/

They've manufactured and delivered 1,000 Badger Masks to the hospital and a Ford plant in MI is making 75,000 more this week for Detroit-area hospitals. Here's a technical spec you can follow if you have access to equipment and parts:

https://www.delve.com/assets/documents/OPEN-SOURCE-FACE-SHIELD-DRAWING-v1.PDF

It involves just 3 pieces: polyethylene sheets (laser- or die-cut), an elastic headband, and a 1" thick strip of self-adhesive polyurethane foam. For initial production, Midwest Prototyping used office-supply-store electric staplers for assembly.

The design process started with a teardown of an existing, approved mask, and the project lead, Lennon Rodgers, worked with collaborators to replicate it, sanity-checking successive designs with his wife, an anaesthesiologist.

They started hand-delivering prototypes to the hospital, who refined the design further, swapping in latex-free elastic and lengthening the shield. Tim Osswald from UW used his polymer engineering expertise to find a supplier who could create a custom die.

Now, more than 1M Badger Masks have been sought, with manufacturers like St Paul's Summit Medical tooling up to meet demand.

Other designs are popping up across America. San Francisco's Exploratorium is making 200+ shields/day using its own makerspace.

This day in history (permalink)

#15yrsago If the Constitution was a EULA https://web.archive.org/web/20050330012000/http://slate.msn.com/id/2115254/

#10yrsgo Discarded photocopier hard drives stuffed full of corporate secrets https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2010/03/18/hightech_copy_machines_a_gold_mine_for_data_thieves.html

#5yrsago TPP leak: states give companies the right to repeal nations' laws https://wikileaks.org/tpp-investment/press.html

#5yrsago Woman medicated in a psychiatric ward until she said Obama didn't follow her on Twitter https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/woman-held-in-psychiatric-ward-after-correctly-saying-obama-follows-her-on-twitter-10132662.html

#5yrsago Sandwars: the mafias whose illegal sand mines make whole islands vanish https://www.wired.com/2015/03/illegal-sand-mining/

#5yrsago Australia outlaws warrant canaries https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2015/03/australian-government-minister-dodge-new-data-retention-law-like-this/

#5yrsago As crypto wars begin, FBI silently removes sensible advice to encrypt your devices https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20150325/17430330432/fbi-quietly-removes-recommendation-to-encrypt-your-phone-as-fbi-director-warns-how-encryption-will-lead-to-tears.shtml

#1yrago Article 13 will wreck the internet because Swedish MEPs accidentally pushed the wrong voting button https://medium.com/@emanuelkarlsten/sweden-democrats-swedish-social-democrats-defeat-motion-to-amend-articles-11-13-731d3c0fbf30

#1yrago EU's Parliament Signs Off on Disastrous Internet Law: What Happens Next? https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/03/eus-parliament-signs-disastrous-internet-law-what-happens-next

Colophon (permalink)

Today's top sources: Slashdot (https://slashdot.org/), Naked Capitalism (https://nakedcapitalism.com/), Late Stage Capitalism (https://www.reddit.com/r/LateStageCapitalism/).

Currently writing: I'm getting geared up to start work my next novel, "The Lost Cause," a post-GND novel about truth and reconciliation.

Currently reading: Just started Lauren Beukes's forthcoming Afterland: it's Y the Last Man plus plus, and two chapters in, it's amazeballs. Last month, I finished Andrea Bernstein's "American Oligarchs"; it's a magnificent history of the Kushner and Trump families, showing how they cheated, stole and lied their way into power. I'm getting really into Anna Weiner's memoir about tech, "Uncanny Valley." I just loaded Matt Stoller's "Goliath" onto my underwater MP3 player and I'm listening to it as I swim laps.

Latest podcast: Data – the new oil, or potential for a toxic oil spill? https://craphound.com/podcast/2020/03/23/data-the-new-oil-or-potential-for-a-toxic-oil-spill/

Upcoming appearances:

Quarantine Book Club, April 1, 3PM Pacific https://www.eventbrite.com/e/quarantine-book-club-cory-doctorow-tickets-100931360416

Museums and the Web, April 2, 12PM-3PM Pacific https://mw20.museweb.net/

Upcoming books: "Poesy the Monster Slayer" (Jul 2020), a picture book about monsters, bedtime, gender, and kicking ass. Pre-order here: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781626723627?utm_source=socialmedia&utm_medium=socialpost&utm_term=na-poesycorypreorder&utm_content=na-preorder-buynow&utm_campaign=9781626723627

(we're having a launch for it in Burbank on July 11 at Dark Delicacies and you can get me AND Poesy to sign it and Dark Del will ship it to the monster kids in your life in time for the release date).

"Attack Surface": The third Little Brother book, Oct 20, 2020. https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250757531

"Little Brother/Homeland": A reissue omnibus edition with a new introduction by Edward Snowden: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250774583

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dailyaudiobible · 3 years

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12/18/2020 DAB Transcript

Habakkuk 1:1-3:19, Revelation 9:1-21, Psalms 137:1-9, Proverbs 30:10

Today is the 18th day of December welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian and it's great to be here with you today as we continue the journey step-by-step day by day. Moment by moment together we move through the Scriptures. And it's not a secret that we’ve been moving rapidly through the Scriptures because we’re encountering shorter texts within the Scriptures. Today is no different. We got a brand-new book in front of us. And this one is called Habakkuk and we will read Habakkuk in its entirety today.

Introduction to the book of Habakkuk:

It's the eighth of the minor prophets. And who Habakkuk was is pretty well unknown. Maybe we know less about Habakkuk than we do any of the other writers in the Bible. Nahum, we didn't know much about him when we read that yesterday, but we did have some…some time…like we could locate him in time because of some specific references. Of course, me saying we’re not really exactly sure who Habakkuk was, that's like not new. People have been wondering, figuring, having traditions about a Habakkuk for centuries, even millennia. There’s a Jewish tradition that speaks of Habakkuk as is the son of a Shunamite woman who was resurrected through Elisha. And that stories found in the book of second Kings. Of course, Habakkuk’s not named in that story. So, it's a tradition. There’s other traditions, like fantastic traditions, one that’s found in the up apocryphal book “Bell and the Dragon” that talks about Habakkuk with Daniel while he was in the Lion’s den. But like I said, these are traditions, they may be long-running traditions, but they’re traditions and most scholars, especially with, like “Bell in the Dragon” find…find a story like that to be maybe be legendary. Nevertheless, many verses that are found in Habakkuk are famous. Maybe the most famous will be like Habakkuk 2:4 “but the righteous will live by their faithfulness to God.” That might sound familiar – “the righteous will live by faith” - is like a mainstay quote from the apostle Paul in his writings. It's also in…in the book of Hebrews. It's a core theme in the Christian faith. And scholars have noticed that…that the book itself, the text itself is sort of lyrical in form and definitely has a Psalm or hymn at the end, which leads some to think maybe Habakkuk was a temple musician, possibly. But basically, the book of Habakkuk is a conversation between the prophet Habakkuk and God, and it begins at a place of doubt. Habakkuk is saying out loud the things that he’s seeing, and they are leading him to doubt. He wants to know why God continues to allow evil to exist and to continue forward almost like he…he’s indifferent to it. And then God responds by saying the Babylonians are gonna come punish His own people, which leaves Habakkuk confused even more. Not sure, he’s perplexed. And then God reveals the Babylonians will punish His people and the Babylonians will be punished. Evil will be destroyed in the end. That's the goal. And, so, Habakkuk begins to realize that God’s not indifferent, he’s not unaware. He has His will. He will continue to move His plan forward. He is a God of justice. And Habakkuk ends up moving into a place of worship. And, so, Habakkuk has three chapters, and we will read them all now starting with chapter 1.

Prayer:

Father we thank You for Your word and another day to spend together in Your word. And we thank You for Habakkuk, a book that we read in its entirety today, one that shows us a movement from frustration and confusion to worship when we understand fully that You’re not aloof. You’re very, very much paying attention to what's going on and You are in control. We lose sight of that when we judge that it doesn't look like that, when we deem that it doesn't look like that anymore. And, so, we have these questions and these frustrations and then when we can settle into the fact that You are good, You are present, You are the most-high God, You are the all-powerful one and You are our Father. When that context takes hold again, when our actual reality reasserts itself than we, our spirits are again turned toward worship. What else can we do? There is none higher than You. There is nothing else to give our hearts to in worship. There is no other place to put our hope. And, so, our hope is in You and You alone. Come Holy Spirit, lead us forward in truth we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, that is indeed home base and its where you find out what’s going on around here. And what else is going on…on besides Christmas time. We are getting very close are we not? We’re going to go through this weekend and then it’s gonna be Christmas week. How did it get here so quickly? Are we ready? Is everything done? All these things are swirling through our minds at Christmas and those things can kind of cover over what we’re really looking for underneath it all, which is hope for the arrival of the Savior.

So, I mentioned yesterday, we released a new single “O Holy Night” performed by Jill my wife and we’re just releasing it into all of the flurry of activity and festivity that goes on at this time, these moments, these days before Christmas comes. The words to that song are timeless and they root us back to that story underneath it all. Yes, this is joyous. Yes, there's a lot of chaos involved in Christmas, but underneath it all there is “oh holy night the stars are brightly shining it is the night of dear Saviors birth.” So, you can stream that on Spotify, or Apple music, or YouTube music or Google play, wherever, or you can buy it at any of these places as well and keep it a part of your permanent collection. Just look for Jill Parr. That's…well…that’s Jill’s maiden name, and that's what she was known of…known as before she was Jill Hardin. So, just look it up, “O Holy Night”, the single and enjoy. Listen to the words of that song and let it lead you deeper into the Christmas season.

The other thing we’ve been talking about is the Daily Audio Bible Shop. There are a number…there’s all kinds of stuff in the Daily Audio Bible Shop. Some stuff, yeah. If you’ve taken the 2020 journey, something to remember that journey. This has been an unforgettable year and we might want to forget it as quickly as possible, but we shouldn't because when we get some hindsight on this thing, we are going to see that we grew up all lot and it was time. We…we were…we were getting soft and pudgy, we were acting like a toddler, we were kicking and squirm…squirming, we were throwing our bottle down on the ground because things weren’t going our way. We were jumping up and down and throwing a fit. And once and a while things come along and they tell you, “you know what? A new season is upon you. Whether you like it or not it's time to grow up.” And we have in so many ways. So, just to kind of remember that, that is important because…so that we don't have to do these lessons again, not that pandemics are going to be sent upon the earth every year, but so that those pathways that lead us to transformation and growth and growing up so that we can have learned the lesson no matter what the catalyst was, so that we could've learned what we needed to learn and pick up what we need to pick up and lay down what we needed to lay down and move forward stronger. So, there's the case for remembering. But there are number of resources in the Daily Audio Bible Shop that just…there just that kind of a thing, they’re commemorative things each year as we go through the Scriptures. So, check that out. There are number of unique gifts there for…yeah…for anyone in your life. So, check that out. We have basically the weekend and then that’ll be sort of the end of it because we've reached our threshold for shipping inside the United States and etc. etc. So, check out the Daily Audio Bible Shop and maybe that hard-to-find gift will be there.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com. There is a link on the homepage. I thank you with all of my heart, with all of my heart, with all of my gratitude for your partnership. Especially here as we’re ending the year. Thank you. Thank you for your partnership. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address, if that's your preference, is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

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And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

This is Quiet Confidence from Virginia and ever since I got out of the mental hospital, I feel so lost. I’ve just been begging God to just please take me home because life seems so unbearable. It seems very unbearable. Every day is a struggle and I just need God to have mercy on my soul. I used to be so close to Him and I don’t know how I got to this place. But I need God to help me. The enemy keeps telling me I’m not a Christian, I’m not going to make it to heaven, but I ask God for forgiveness of my sins and that He would just please allow me to go home. My husband of 24 years has been trying to help me and I’ve been taking my medication, but I still struggle, and I really need God to deliver me. I don’t want to self-harm anymore, but I really need God to please just…just take me home. I just want it to be over because it’s a terrible feeling to feel lost every day. Lord Jesus please have mercy on my soul.

Hey this is holiday greeting from Justin in Colorado. I’ve walked with the Lord for several decades. I’ve been in the mission field. I’ve been on church staff. You know, all the things. But this year I purposed to work through the Bible in a…in a single year and I’ve just gotta say the Daily Audio Bible was such a huge gift. And consuming large volumes of Scripture every day has been transformational for me in the sense that I’ve got…I feel like I’ve gotten to know the Lord, His personality, just…just to know who He is, what He does, what He likes, what He doesn’t like. I…I feel a greater level of intimacy than I’ve ever felt even having quiet times and going a verse at a time every morning like I’ve done for years. So, this is been just a huge blessing to me. Thank you so much.

Hi yes this is Living by Grace. I don’t know if you can hear me clearly, but I just want to give a praise report. This is long overdue. Back about two years ago I called about my wife having some anxiety problems and since I called in maybe about a week and half afterwards really started see a marked change. And she was struggling even going to work and was really in a rough place. And I believe that God saw her through and helped use that situation to grow her closer to Him. And I just want to encourage anybody who is going through those things that I know is very real and I know that God has a plan for it and that He’s able to overcome whatever difficulty you’re going through. I’m a personal witness to it and I…I know that He has to continue to sustain her, sustain us in all that we do. But I just want to say thank you and thank the whole family, the Daily Audio Bible family for praying for us and just have a blessed day.

Hey, DABbers this is Katie in Kentucky. I just want to call and pray for all of you parents who are exhausted, whether you have a newborn who is not quite sleeping through the night like those two hour stretches that leave you just so tired or a parent of a four-year-old who wakes up in the middle of the night and won’t go back to sleep, those parents of teenagers who are out and trying to wait up for them or any of those parents who are just dealing with your children’s big feelings overall the Covid restrictions. I just want to pray for all of you. God lift up the parents, give them strength, give them energy that is just beyond anything that they can have on their own. Give them wisdom and the words to say to their kids as the kids are struggling. Give them peace. And God as much as possible, just give parents a good night’s sleep. In Jesus’ name. Amen. Love you DABbers. Bye.

Good morning Daily Audio Bible friends and family this is Granny Mary from Missouri. My best friend Vera has Covid and she’s in a coma on the ventilator in the hospital. She’s been in a coma for two weeks. They’re going to give her another week and try to decide. She’s got grandkids and a daughter. And would you please pray for her because, you know, it’s not easy for families who lose loved ones. She’s a wonderful Christian lady so, I know if God does take her home where she’s going, but the kids all need prayer, her grandkids and her daughter. So, thank you very much. God bless you all. Have a good day. Bye-bye.

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the-mad-starker · 5 years

Text

Starker RP: Diamonds and Roses

If you’ve seen this moodboard before, don’t worry, I’m just reposting cause I’m too lazy to make a new one.

BUT! @lovely-garnet and I have been teasing people with our prison AU rp... And we’ve finally starting posting it. Here’s chapter 1 and 2 together since we didn’t post chapter 1 previously. We’re hoping to update once a week.

AO3 Link: Chapter 1 (2359) | Chapter 2 (6101)

Summary: Prime Alpha Tony Stark is sent to prison. He can get out in a second, but instead, he decides to play nice and bide his time. Do things the legal way, for now anyway. While incarcerated, a sweet faced omega wants his help but at what cost?

Notes: Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Prime alpha Tony, Omega Peter, intersex omegas, prison AU, future smut including anal sex, vaginal sex, blow jobs, etcetcetc...

💗 💗 💗

Chapter 1: The Boss

When the news broke out, the public reactions were a mess.

Those who only knew him only as a kind benefactor cried out against his imprisonment. Those that worked in the shadows alongside him were either pleased or worried about the status quo. After all, Stark Industries was a big name that had its fingers in many pots. With its head cut off, or in this case, imprisoned, there would be an inevitable chain of events if SI couldn't remain on top.

Tony Stark didn't worry about that. Even though the great mafia boss Tony had ended up in prison, things weren’t that much different after all. He did what he always did.

Walk in.

Take control.

By the end of Day One, he had most of the prisoners under his thumb, ruling over block B with everyone falling in line. It wasn't a complete takeover, of course, but the ones at the top of the food chain… Those people were his now.

It would've been easy to just buy out the compound. Tony could afford it but why get rid of all the excitement in his life? No, sometimes it was good to have fun.

Still, this whole prison thing was a bit of an inconvenience. He had to waste his time here when he could be out playing in the real world instead of having to eat sloppy food and sleep in a single creaking bed. But this was a necessity. There was a reason Tony was here and he'd sit tight and endure it.

The prison was a bit unusual, of course, as the prisoners here weren’t just common riff raff. It was huge and spacious with some amenities, but… It was still a prison.

There were beta guards everywhere, personnel trained specifically to go toe to toe with alphas. Supposedly, they could take an alpha down. 9/10, Tony heard they could subdue a raging alpha. It might take a couple of them to do it, but they did it nonetheless.

The prisoners had a rigid schedule. Specific times for sleep, showering and eating - filthy bathrooms and tiny cells. Violence was pretty common around here, not that Tony would know… If there was any violence going on around him, he was never the one on the receiving end.

Now, his prison sentence was set for as long as he would be able to sit still in this place - that was Pepper’s advice on the matter. But even though it had only been a week behind bars for Tony, the tension in the cell block was already quite high.

For whatever reason, he had to share the cell block with another prime alpha, and that had lead to many of the other weaker alphas to choose sides and start up fights. And he was the one that had to keep the peace, somehow.

A lazy Sunday afternoon was coming to an end when his right-hand man passed through his open cell door. It seemed as if he was hesitant to disturb Tony for the laying man had his eyes closed. So for a moment, Happy waited to see if the other would notice him. But the matter was important so he decided to clear his throat before speaking to announce himself.

“Boss,” he greeted with a low voice.

Tony didn't give any indication that he heard the man, except for his eyes barely opening. His entire posture was that of a man relaxing but anyone smart enough knew who he was. What he was.

So the correct analogy to make would be a predator lying in wait. Not resting. Waiting. There was a glimmer in his eye that proved it, a sharp, brilliant gaze that belied the relaxed posture of his body.

He knew Happy wouldn't disrupt him for anything that wasn't essential. And for Tony, essential meant business. He didn't get to the very top by letting others handle his business, oh no, his gang was built from the ground up by his hands and molded to his liking by his every decision.

“Hmm?” Tony prompted.

“Ms. Potts has some news for you,” Happy told him, making sure to keep his voice a low murmur.

Tony heard it clearly. With a single fluid motion, the alpha sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He got up, stretching relaxed but powerful muscles.

“Does she now?” Tony smiled, a sharp grin that normally put others on guard. “How do you feel about taking a walk with me, Hap?”

It had only been a week, but Happy was still wary about the prison rules and their reward/punishment system.

“I think it's almost time for lights out, sir,” Happy hedged. Smart beta, not outright defying Tony but saying enough that he let the prime alpha know his concerns.

“Take a walk with me,” Tony said simply.

“Okay, boss.” Happy agreed despite his concerns. He knew better than to refuse such a simple request.

Tony led the way out with Happy following behind him like a shadow. He could feel the eyes of his fellow prison mates on him before they darted away. No one would be caught dead staring him down, not if they wanted to keep their eyes.

It was close to lights out. On a Sunday like this, they preferred to keep the inmates indoors. But as Tony had mentioned, he was in the mood for a walk.

The beta guarding the door leading to the yard outside didn't meet his eyes. He turned to the side, peering at something in the distance, pretending that he wasn't allowing Tony Stark to just wander outside as he pleased.

The air here was refreshing but the towering walls were an eyesore.

Tony ignored them and turned to the man behind him.

“What do you have for me?”

The yard was empty as the light of day was quickly fading, but even if no inmates were nearby, Happy was being extra careful to ensure that no one was listening. Happy turned behind him to check if anyone was around and then looked over at Tony again.

The night breeze chilled him to the bone but he didn't flinch. He was a tough guy but most importantly, he was standing face to face with Tony Stark. Keeping his stern and controlled appearance was crucial.

For a moment, Happy seemed to be conflicted, an attempt to speak that was delayed for reasons unknown. Then he reached in his pocket to pull out the smallest looking scroll that ever existed. It wasn't at all acceptable to make Tony wait so Happy let out a sigh and spoke.

“Ms. Potts sends word that there is some progress being made...” His voice trailed off and then stopped as he glanced at his closed fist where he was palming the tiny piece of paper.

“...But I have something else that may be of interest to you. I was approached by a... kid... saying he needs to talk to you.” Happy crossed his arms in front of his chest as he recalled the weird encounter. “I told him to get lost but he was adamant.”

Happy shrugged in an indifferent manner but then his expression grew concerned, darker. “An omega.”

The information from Potts, Tony filed away for later. Happy was right that the second part was more interesting to him. Entertaining was maybe a better word.

Tony watched the expressions play out on his second's face as he talked about the omega. Happy was a beta so these things didn't really make much sense to him.

“An omega, hmm?” Tony watched Happy with hooded eyes. He folded his arms loosely, tilting his head at the beta.

“Who told you that you can have an opinion regarding who sees me and who doesn't?” Tony's pose was relaxed but his voice was icy with disapproval.

He looked away from the man, not bothering to wait for a reply. A lot of people came to see Tony when he got admitted to prison. Alphas, betas, omegas. Tony was proven to be the best of them, the strongest, the prime. Everyone gravitated to him for one reason or another, but whether or not he had a use for them, that was a different matter.

Happy making those decisions on his own without informing Tony first was a rookie mistake. So Tony made sure his displeasure was known.

“Hap, buddy,” Tony said casually, “we've known each other how long? Years. No one ever needs to talk to me. If there was ever a need, I'd get to them first. Tell me more about the omega.”

To try to make excuses now for his decision to dismiss the boy would only make his situation worse, so Happy stood in silence as Tony spoke. In truth, he didn't believe that there was a reason for his boss to waste his time with that... mousy omega.

Of course, he didn't really understand what it all meant. He only knew in theory how things worked for alphas and omegas. What he knew first hand, though, was that Tony's displeasure could result in very unfortunate outcomes, so he noted to never repeat such a mistake again.

Feeling intimidated but refraining from showing it, Happy nodded with a stern and collected expression. His opinion was that the omega was complete nonsense but decided not to share it. Tony didn't seem like he would appreciate it very much so he stuck with the facts.

“He gave me this,” Happy said, opening his palm to reveal the paper he was holding on to. “The letters are tiny but it writes the place and time that he wants to meet with you. Now, before you say it, I know this is...” He waved his hand and shook his head as to indicate how unacceptable this all was.

“But I looked him up and found out why he doesn't want to meet you out in the open. Thing is, he is under Thanos.” Now the beta paused.

His opinion was - again - to not bother with this but he kept it to himself. He glanced towards the back to make sure that no one was listening to their conversation and then his eyes returned to Tony, concerned and heavy.

“I don't know what he has to offer, yet, but I can get him to talk,” Happy promised.

“Under Thanos,” Tony hissed, a tiny bit amused.

He knew the guy. Big, beefy alpha that was always waxing on about the necessity of balance. They weren't at each other's throats, not yet anyway, but Tony wasn't entirely fond of the man.

Then again, the fact that Tony was sharing space with another prime alpha when he didn't choose to was probably the cause of that. It didn't matter that there was plenty of room for multiple alphas, there was something about Thanos that Tony didn't particularly like.

He waved away Happy's suggestion and plucked the piece of paper out of his hand. His eyes scanned the words, noting the time and place before he tore it to shreds and let the wind carry the tiny bits away.

“If he didn't talk to you then,” Tony said, “he's not going to talk to you now.”

He patted his second on the shoulder. “You did your job, Hap. I can take it from here.”

Then he smiled, a curving of his lips that was just a bit dark.

“Besides, it doesn't seem like I'm leaving this place anytime soon,” Tony sighed. He knew he was getting out, the question was when. “I may as well pick up a hobby or something.”

An omega. He had his pick of people to choose from to keep him company. But an omega that was under Thanos might just cause problems.

Why would Tony bother with that? And yet, the boredom was already setting in. He had sway over the prison, but even then, demanding a lab and whatever he needed to keep his mind entertained would either be too much or take too long.

He could use a bit of entertainment.

“I'll handle the omega,” Tony told Happy, “In the meantime, you can handle Thanos. Not directly, of course, but you can distract him or something.”

He glanced at Happy with a smirk. “I can trust you to do that, can't I, Happy?”

Happy was right to believe that this would pique Tony's interest. After so many years of knowing the man, he understood that he was easily bored. An omega would be entertaining for him, at least for a while. That's why he had brought this information in the first place even though it was against his better judgment. This omega could cause undesired complications, though, and he wasn't even really worth it in Happy's eyes.

Such a small and young little thing, but he had fire burning in him to make such a bold request. Happy would give him that, at least. Or the omega was just stupid, that could always be the case.

Maybe Happy was wrong to worry that this situation could get out of hand. It was just one tiny omega that could be used to keep Tony occupied and not bored out of his mind while they do…

In truth, Happy wasn't sure what they were doing in the prison. He only knew that where his boss went, he followed.

It wasn't his place to think about it anyway, but despite knowing he should just shut up and obey, Happy said a hesitant, "Boss?"

Maybe the news of fresh entertainment had tempered Tony's mood since he gave a small, indulgent smile at the beta.

"Yes, Hap?"

"Why are we really here?" The beta asked, a hint of uncertainty in his tone.

That smile didn't fade even the slightest.

"Diamonds and roses," Tony Stark answered and that was all he said on the matter.

It didn't make sense to Happy but he had already dared as much as he could stomach for the evening. So, Happy nodded with obedience, “Boss.”

That was enough to show that he would do anything that Tony asked of him - or rather, commanded.

<hr>

Chapter 2: Deals in the Dark

<hr>

(AO3 Link)

The time of the meeting had drawn near.

That was why Peter was pacing around in his cell unable to calm his nerves. Clenching his jaw in an attempt to control his fear, he finally gathered the courage that was needed to go along with this plan. There was no other way and he knew it. This was his only chance.

He walked out of the cell and down the stairs, relieved that none of Thanos’ men were around. Weirdly enough, the guards didn't pay him any mind either.

It was late in the afternoon, and at this hour, the prisoners were free to use the common areas or rest in their cells. It was the only possible time to slip through the prison grounds unnoticed.

Light on his feet, he made it to the hallway that led far and away from the main living area and down to the boiler room. Peter had snatched away the keys to this place when he had first arrived a few months ago.

It hadn't come in handy up until now, but this was a perfect spot for a secret meeting. It was secluded so his scent wouldn't draw any unwanted attention and it had only one entrance. One entrance, one exit. Safe and dangerous at the same time.

It could also be the perfect place for a trap, but Peter dismissed that thought with a shake of his head. If Tony Stark was to harm him... He could only hope that he wouldn't do that. That the prime would listen to him, that he would help him.

Perhaps, he was naive but there was so much riding on this meeting. Not to mention the very fact that his heart pounded at the thought of meeting the prime…

It was time.

He walked inside the room and it felt like he was entering the wolf's den. Peter shivered as anticipation and dread grew in equal measure. He was risking everything to be here in this tight and dim lit place.

His lean and frail body was dressed in the standard prisoner’s uniform but around his neck, Peter had a makeshift, tight collar made out of bandages. It was so feeble that it could be ripped off by anyone, let alone an alpha that would want to mark him. Yet there it was, an attempt to shield oneself.

With his hands already covered in a thin layer of sweat, he walked to the back of the room next to the tubes and pipes that came out of the wall and hid in wait.

<hr>

Tony's footsteps made soft little clicks as he walked. The man could be quiet, of course, he could, but he didn't need to.

The guards didn't look at him, averting their eyes in respect. The prison uniforms were ghastly and ugly and even Tony couldn't get out of wearing them. But the way he walked, his strides confident, face forward, eyes unwavering, no one noticed the uniform.

He walked with a confidence that many tried to imitate. It wasn't exactly a strut, no, that was too arrogant and arrogance implied unworthiness. No, Tony was confident and that confidence played a big part in making others bow to him.

He caught the faint scent of omega as he grew nearer to the meeting point and here, he paused, inhaling and scenting the air to get more intel.

The omega was anxious, a distasteful note of bitterness that Tony could almost taste. It made his nose wrinkle but it did make him curious. Omegas were flighty things and briefly, Tony wondered if the omega would run after all.

It would displease him to have his time wasted, but as he continued walking to the destination, the omega's scent only strengthened. He was certainly there, a thought that pleased Tony's alpha side.

The boiler room, a particular choice. Tony wondered at the reasoning. Did the omega really trust Tony to let him go if things went wrong? What a peculiar thing to do.

And yet, as he stepped through, Tony felt a bit more entitled to be a gentleman. It wasn't every day that something caught his attention this much. And he hadn't even met the omega yet.

Time for that to change.

“An interesting place for a meeting,” Tony noted out loud.

His voice carried just enough to fill the room. He moved away from the entrance, leaving it free as a show of good faith.

Long before the prime spoke, Peter was already aware of his presence.

He had heard him come. Those confident steps were unmistakable but most importantly, he could smell him. And this wasn’t just any scent, it was a prime alpha’s and it flooded the room the moment he stepped inside.

To the sensitive senses of the omega, it was deafening, overpowering. Peter needed time to adjust because his breath had been immediately cut off, his ears ringing, and he hadn’t even seen the man whose commanding presence it belonged to.

Truth be told, he hadn’t expected the prime to show. Why would he? But now that he was here, Peter felt unbalanced, his resolve weakened.

“Come out, little jailbird,” Tony called out, “Let me see who has the balls to summon me, hmm?”

At once, Peter’s entire body urged him to obey, but the boy felt his knees tremble and stood frozen with a hand tight above his pounding heart.

After only a few moments of mustering up the courage needed, Peter revealed himself. Not that he was ready, but he would never be. He had his fingers curled in tight little fists as he tried to appear in control and failing all the same.

Nevertheless, he walked in small but steady steps out of his hiding spot to present himself to the man that had gone out of his way to meet him. The alpha had answered the request of a stray omega and as unexpected as that was, the boy had counted on it with all of his heart.

Peter wasn’t stupid, he understood that Tony had shown him grace by being here. That was what he told himself, at least. He was trying desperately to not give in to the intimidation and fear he felt.

His big brown eyes were fixated on the floor. He would never dare to plainly look at the prime alpha. That would be too bold, too disrespectful. But even with his eyes averted, his mouth was tight with determination.

“This was the only place I could think of,” Peter replied, his voice steady for the time being. He dropped his gaze further down and to the side. “Thank you, alpha, for meeting me.”

There was a slight tremble in his muscles, a shiver as if the boy was cold.

Glancing at Tony’s general direction, he realized that the man had stepped away from the entrance. That made the tightness in his chest ease a little, his body a bit more relaxed. And that had to be enough.

After days of watching from afar, finally, the prime's eyes were on him. His breath caught, heart stuttering as the prime alpha eyed him up and down.

Tony wasn't sure what he expected when the omega came out of his hiding place. Happy had no information to give him besides saying the omega was a kid. At least that much was true, the omega certainly was young compared to Tony.

Observing the boy, Tony couldn't help but wonder how he had gotten into this place, how he even survived. He looked so small and vulnerable that Tony's alpha side wanted to react in one of two ways.

It wanted to stalk forward and destroy. Something so weak seemed almost too pitiful to exist in these walls. Why even bother?

But a larger side overtook it. At first glance, the omega didn't seem like much but his actions spoke of a deeper depth that Tony found intriguing. It was already a good sign that the omega was seeking to talk to him. Tony could only imagine a few reasons why an omega would seek an alpha out.

That was just the way of things.

Truthfully, Tony wasn't surprised.

It was nature, really. The weak turning to the strong and Tony was the strongest of them all. And yet, despite knowing this, Tony still felt something when he looked at this omega. To his surprise, he felt more inclined to lure the omega in, to find out more about him. To protect him.

Such dangerous thoughts for an alpha like Tony Stark. He'd have to monitor himself to make sure none of these unexpected feelings turned into a weakness that could be exploited.

The alpha leaned against the wall, arms folded as he looked at the boy. He tilted his head in acknowledgment, not that the omega would see it.

“Your name, kid,” Tony said firmly, “You know mine, obviously. It'd be rude to speak otherwise. And that would be such a pity since you've tried so hard to be respectful.”

Peter lifted his gaze, curious, as he peeked at the alpha in front of him. The prime asking for his name had caught him off guard. In prison, hardly anyone had used his name, especially alphas.

It was an unexpected… surprise. A good one since the alpha was almost trying to be civil.

“I’m Peter... Parker,” he answered with a hint of excitement that he tried to push down while smiling gently at his feet. The prime’s presence was intimidating, yes, but also... soothing.

“It's true, I know who you are,” Peter continued in a small voice with that smile lingering on his pink, hesitant lips.

He took another step towards the alpha and then stopped. The omega wouldn’t approach any further than this, even if the Stark’s demeanor and overall posture were relaxed.

“Everyone knows who you are... You're kind of a big deal,” he said demurely. He nervously scratched his cheek, not knowing what to do with his restless hands.

Tony smirked at the omega's words.

“Kinda a big deal, hmm?” Tony echoed, amused, “That's cute, Parker.”

At the alpha's casual response, Peter relaxed further. The gentle approach calmed his nerves. Maybe it would have been better for him to hold onto his fear- this was a prime alpha, after all. In this world, alphas like Stark were at the top of the food chain, the hunter, and the omega was at the very bottom. The prey.

But then, as if Peter remembered the reason he had requested to meet with him, the boy’s expression turned serious. Unsettled even.

“Alpha, sir, I–” he stuttered and got mad at himself for showing weakness in front of the alpha.

Clenching his jaw, Peter turned to the man and looked at him. The distress he was trying to hide was clear in his wide eyes. “I need to ask for your help if you would give it.”

Ah, Tony finally thought.

He worried for a moment that the boy would beat around the bush. Essentially, that this Peter Parker would waste his time. It was good that he got to the point.

The alpha watched and learned with keen eyes, taking in every quiet detail that gave him clues as to who he was dealing with.

Omega body. Omega gestures. Omega submissiveness. Everything about the kid was omega which was appealing to Tony's alpha nature.

A slight sniff to the air showed that Peter wasn't afraid of him though. That was good. Even though omegas were programmed to be the more submissive of the trio, Tony didn't want to bother with someone so weak.

He tilted his head in thought, listening with some interest.

Then the omega met his eyes and Tony's breath caught. The omega's eyes were so captivating, so determined. There was an edge of desperation there and it just made Tony so damn curious.

Lured in by those brown doe eyes, Tony pushed himself off the wall. The alpha prowled forward, eyes hooded as he came to a stop in front of his prey.

Peter didn’t waver, he stood his ground looking up at the alpha as he approached. Even if he felt his cheeks heating up, the redness spreading to the top of his ears, Peter stood still.

Tony took the omega's chin between his fingers, making sure Peter wouldn't look away.

“Spit it out then, kid,” Tony said softly, “A man like me isn't just going to agree without hearing your offer. So, what is it, hmm? What has you in such a bind that you came to me?”

Then his lips quirked up into a wicked smirk.

“And more importantly, what are you willing to offer me?”

The boy’s lashes fluttered because of the alpha's proximity. Tony didn't seem affected, his gaze steady and smile, unfaltering. Was Peter the only one being affected? He couldn't shy away, even if that was the case.

It was pointless to try and hide. The alpha could surely scent him and hear the pounding in Peter's chest. And he could see the small flames dancing in the brown of his eyes.

No matter the foolishness that was going on in his mind and heart since the first time he had gotten a glimpse of the prime... It was not the point of their meeting. And so, he pulled himself together, furrowing his eyebrows and tightening his fists.

“It’s Thanos,” Peter spoke and his muscles tensed, the mere mention of the name made him flinch. “He… promises one thing and does another. He makes himself out to be a… a savior but he lies. He's not what he seems... He's… a bad man.”

In his strained voice, the hatred was evident. The things he had seen… he couldn't forget or forgive but he also couldn't go off on a rant no matter how easy it was to do so. Peter knew he had to be quick, concise, and as persuasive as he could.

“I know I’m young and... But– Is it wrong to seek shelter away from him? He does as he pleases with omegas, with everyone that works for him, and–” Peter averted his eyes now, even if Tony was holding his chin up. He was embarrassed by his outburst but tried to push it all down.

“He means to humiliate me, to take my suppressants away... That’s inhumane.” He gritted his teeth, looking down and to the side.

“So, I’m begging you to take me under your wing.” He turned back to Tony with wide, hopeful eyes. The omega’s scent unleashed in waves since the need and vulnerability had shone through.

“And I’ll do anything you want,” Peter continued, voice steady and a fierce look in his eyes.

The scent made Tony's lip curl but besides that, there was no other reaction.

Every word, every sentence that came from the omega's mouth had conflicting emotions rioting inside the alpha. The information on Thanos caught his attention but it didn't matter. The gist of the matter was that this omega wanted to switch sides and while it could be done, it could be messy too. Would it be worth Tony's while?

The offer he dared to give the prime was what made the alpha's mind go quiet with dangerous intent.

“Now,” Tony purred, a low sound. In another world, it might've even been soothing, but here and now, it should've sent alarms ringing in anyone's mind. “That's a bold faced lie.”

The alpha smiled, but it was empty. A mean smile that held nothing back of what Tony was.

The hair at the back of Peter’s neck stood as the atmosphere in the room shifted. At once, uneasiness crept into the young one’s heart as an underlying fear made itself known. That Tony Stark was like any other alpha. That Tony Stark was another Thanos...

“You can't– Or well, I suppose, you shouldn't be offering things like that, omega,” Tony said casually.

He rubbed his thumb across the other's cheek, playing up all the dangerous signs that omega mommies told their sweet faced omega children about alphas like him. He grazed his thumb against the soft swell of Peter's lips, eyes dropping to where he touched him.

“Is this what you promised Thanos? Anything?” Tony continued, “Why are you surprised he wants everything then?”

He pushed his thumb inside, ignoring the heat that started to swell in his own body. As much as he was down for a fuck, there was something more important for the omega to learn.

Paralyzed by his words and actions, Peter looked up at him with huge eyes. His breaths became shallow, one by one, before stopping altogether once the alpha’s thumb was pressed between his trembling lips.

“You say something like that, you better deliver,” Tony said darkly. “And I know you can't, won't.”

He paused then removed his hands but continued to stare down at the boy.

“There are things people are willing to do and things they aren't so willing to do,” Tony scoffed. “When I said what are you offering me, I don't want some bullshit answer. You think you're willing to give me everything?”

Tony chuckled then jerked his head towards the wall. “Strip. Present for your alpha, omega.”

The omega was utterly shocked and frozen in place. Once the words made sense, he stepped forward, unwilling to let Tony’s accusations unanswered.

“I didn’t promise anything to him!” Peter cried out in protest. The insult was too cruel, too false to accept.

It couldn’t be true! Peter refused to accept it! That instead of finding a savior, he would be made to choose between whose hands he would suffer in.

But the injustice and the heartless words were too much to keep quiet even if it was against his instincts to defy the prime in front of him. It hurt him deep down because the omega had been enamored by the alpha in the few days that had passed. Looking at him through shy eyes from a safe distance.

His young innocent love had been allowed to bloom deep within. Peter knew that he shouldn't have, that it was a road that led nowhere, but he couldn't stop himself from dreaming.

This very dream flickered before his eyes, at this moment, as he stood before the man that threatened to crush Peter's heart in his palm.

“...So you think to humiliate me, as well?” He almost choked as tears burned at the corners of his eyes but there was no chance to back down now. If Thanos learned of this, he would strangle Peter to death with his bare hands.

“I wasn’t lying,” he sobbed, lowering his head and tugging his uniform shirt over it, making his hair a mess. He let it slip through his fingers and drop to the floor.

His chest was left covered in a white undershirt and the boy clenched the fabric, trying to silence the nerves that shook his body.

He had to prove himself. He had to. While looking down, he lowered his pants and stepped out of them.

But that was it. The boy couldn’t do anything more.

Paralyzed, he stood in his underwear and shirt, his hands close to his chest. His eyes were wet with tears but he didn't dare let them fall. He couldn't look the alpha in the eye, his face was burning with mortification. Instead, his eyes were pinned to the ground as he waited for the alpha’s judgement. This was far from the presenting that the alpha demanded of him, but Peter couldn’t find the strength to do it, not all the way.

Some alphas got off on the scent of fear. It smelled sickeningly sweet with just a hint of sourness underneath.

Tony had learned to tolerate it, but never cared for it much. He might even learn to detest it, especially with the small omega trembling in front of him. The scent of his fear was almost offensive compared to how it was before Tony revealed himself to be the monster he was.

Tony could even muster up a tiny bit of regret if he wanted to. Scaring the omega was his goal, but he hadn't expected– What a mess.

He sighed, a deep heavy sound before he ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

“Christ, kid,” Tony huffed, “The point was to be careful with what you're offering. You can't say you'll do anything then be surprised if they take as much as they can. Ever heard of give an inch, take a mile?”

He deliberated his choices. He could just walk away. The omega would probably count himself lucky. Maybe even avoid all alphas and primes in the future. Lesson learned and all that.

Alphas were scum.

He could wash his hands of this. Maybe even keep an eye out for the boy as recompense for the rude awakening Tony had given him. But did he want to walk away…?

Tony could make this right. Walking away wouldn't solve the boy's issue with Thanos. Wouldn't save him from becoming a prison bitch. Not with that attitude and no protector.

Another sigh, but truly, there had never been another choice for Tony.

He stepped forward, knowing his actions might be read wrong but doing it anyway. He enveloped the omega in his arms, scenting him in the only thorough way an alpha can claim another without actually getting down and dirty.

The boy in his arms had been through a rollercoaster of emotions already and it didn’t seem like there was going to be an end to it any time soon. In his confusion, Peter tried to back away when Tony stepped closer, still too agitated, too unnerved to think clearly.

“I'm not so heartless. I'm not so greedy or cruel,” Tony admitted reluctantly. “But others aren't that way. You can't trust anyone, kid. Better you learn that now.”

Peter flinched, barely able to listen to what the alpha was saying through the hammering of his heart.

In the next moment, however, the alpha’s scent bathed him in comfort, in warm and fuzzy feelings of protection that Peter had never known before. And that made his body relax, whether he wanted it or not.

To be granted a prime’s protection in such a gentle and caring way made Peter’s knees weak, his body calm and pliant. He was young, inexperienced, never marked or claimed in his life and now he had been completely overwhelmed in the arms of the powerful prime.

His instincts had risen within him, taking hold of his mind as Peter pressed his face against Tony’s strong chest. He lifted his head towards the man’s neck, taking in the scent that was even more intense there.

Soon, Peter was so much calmer even though his heart was beating fast but that was for entirely different reasons.

"What– what is this..." Peter murmured, dazed, scent drunk and barely fighting. "Why are you..."

The alpha held him and he even felt fingers stroke through his hair.

"I'm giving you what you want," Peter heard the alpha say, his voice so soothing that the omega felt like he was sinking into a soft cloud.

The scent tapped into Peter’s instincts, forcing his body in this more relaxed state. He felt how it soothed his mind, pushing aside his previous fear and almost leaving him in a drugged out state.

It felt good but… Alpha wasn't angry with him… His mind was in a haze and the clarity that he had before… When adrenaline made his heart pound and his mind skip a thousand thoughts a second of what he could do, had to do… It was gone, out of reach and he almost… almost didn't care to have it back.

Something about that was wrong.

Primes were dangerous, Peter always knew that but now, more than ever, he understood why.

Their scents were potent and whether or not Tony only meant to soothe him, not steal away his mind, it was affecting Peter too much.

It was casting his inhibitions and logical thinking to the side. He didn't want that, not when so much was unclear between them. He needed clarity to not be tricked by the alpha if that was his intention. Tony could not be trusted.

All this could still be a game, a farce, something to entertain this man for a few minutes… hours… days? The fear of being such a toy made his heart seize and where it was content and excited by being so close to the alpha, it now threatened to break. It was more than enough to clear his head.

Uncertainty made Peter's form stiffen and he pulled his nose away, seeking to escape the gravitational pull of the alpha.

"But… Who's to say that…" he uttered. He was fearful, yes, but also determined. "That… you're not just like him? Just another alpha." Peter asked and glanced at the alpha with furrowed eyebrows.

Tony's eyebrows rose in surprise.

He has given the kid what he wanted. His scent would be on the omega and as soon as he walked out, the other inmates would know. They wouldn't touch Peter for fear of angering Tony Stark.

Once Thanos learned of it, surely there'll be a clash between the two primes. When confined in such tight spaces, it was always meant to happen but the omega in his arms would've been a catalyst.

Protection. He was giving Peter what he wanted... Or was he? Under his wing…

Tony was intrigued.

"That could almost be an insult," Tony said with a devil may care smile. "Just another alpha… Are you always so impulsive, sweetheart?"

He let the boy go, stepping away and looking around the small, dark room to gather his thoughts. Even if Tony had his equipment and toys right in front of him, his attention would still be captured by the omega waiting for him.

"Who's to say I am any different," Tony considered, not at all offended. Then with a sly smile, he turned back to the omega, settling his hands on the boy's slight shoulders. "Except you. You're the one saying that by coming to me. Have I proven you wrong then? Am I just… another alpha?"

His own conviction had saved him but the alpha pulling away had certainly helped. Even then, the powerful scent was pulling him in but he resisted. It was getting easier to manage through it the longer they talked.

They… They were truly engaging each other now, something Peter didn't think would happen. He needed his wits together to be on par with the prime.

Peter shook his head and his curls bounced around with the movement. Insulting the prime had not been his intention, of course, and he became flustered. Even so, he still would not back down. The scent coming from the man was not agitated which helped Peter continue.

An omega's place was not to judge or measure alphas, let alone primes. Unless they were asking for trouble... Which Peter did just by requesting this meeting.

"Alpha… seems different," he admitted, keeping the rest of his heart's secrets to himself. "I…" he swallowed, "I have seen you…"

The boy had heard of Stark's ways within the prison. That he didn't mistreat those that were vulnerable and if there was ever a reason to fear an alpha… Stark's people feared him for the right reasons. But maybe he hadn't had enough time to show what he was capable of.

The boy’s admission made Tony wonder what exactly Peter had seen. What had Tony done to invite such curiosity and trust?

To his knowledge, he took over his side of the prison almost ruthlessly, all kinds of people bowing their heads to him.

The omega continued to speak though, so Tony put the thought aside for now.

"What if… Alpha promises…" Peter proposed shyly and bit his cheek. "No tricks or games…"

Tony raised a brow and stepped closer, their chests almost brushing. It pleased him when the omega continued to gaze up at him, expectantly and with such an unnerving gaze.

"Did you learn nothing from what I did?" Tony murmured, not unkindly but curiously. "How can you trust me? You're asking me to promise something with no way of holding me accountable."

His smile turned almost sad then.

"No tricks, no games?" Tony repeated, "Don't you know who you're talking to? Ah, you shouldn't be in this hellhole, kid."

Peter tilted his head, while still looking up at the man. Young innocence flickered in his eyes, so easy to be extinguished at the hands of an alpha. He stared into Tony’s dark gaze, wishing he could see what went on in his head, his thoughts and desires, his motives and wishes.

The boy was guilty of his crimes… That was how he had landed himself in this mess. But even with the fear that one of the primes could take him apart, Peter wouldn’t change what he had done. He kept that to himself, however, since he truly believed that Tony had no idea. Tony didn’t even know he existed before this meeting, no doubt.

He shrugged his shoulders, but his eyebrows twitched upwards, making an arch. He recognized now that Tony called his bluff and hadn't expected Peter to actually go through with the request. To Peter, it told him that the prime hadn't had bad intentions… Stark just had a shocking way of doing things.

But what could Peter use that Tony would abide by…?

“I will hold you to your word,” he said and lines of distress formed across his smooth little forehead.

“On a prime’s honor,” he continued with a stern expression. His scent was giving away, however, how intimidated he really was.

Would this boy ever stop surprising him? The alpha wondered.

"A prime's–" Tony ended up chuckling.

He couldn't even fathom– It was ridiculous. The omega was holding him to a promise based on such a fanciful thing. And yet, something stirred inside the prime and it… It didn't exactly ache, but it was bothersome.

Then that scent reached him… Sour… His nose twitched in agitation. Rather abruptly, the alpha decided that he didn't like that scent, not when it was previously so sweet and alluring. Before Tony had played his game, as the omega called it.

"Honor, huh?" Tony smiled indulgently, "That doesn't exist in this world, sweetheart. But…"

His chin dipped, just the slightest acknowledgment.

"If you want that promise, then you can have it," Tony relented with a careless shrug. "Is that enough? Or should I sweeten the deal… Add something nice to make up for what I did. Diamonds, perhaps?"

Peter smiled at first, a bit hopeful since the man gave him the promise. He shouldn't trust him fully, Tony had said it himself, but Peter did. He trusted that he would keep his word, even if it had been given to someone insignificant like him, a stray omega.

Then his eyebrows lifted at the alpha's curious proposal.

Diamonds…?

With a tilt of his head, Peter looked up at him, his expression softening in wonder. It was meant as a joke, he was certain. It couldn’t be that the prime would truly offer this to him. But even if he was, the omega had no use for precious stones. What good could they do… They were just for show, void of true meaning.

He smiled innocently.

"No… no need for diamonds," he said lightheartedly while shaking his head. The omega's defenses had fallen. He was exposed again, letting go of his reservations and fear. His smile turned tender and apologetic almost.

"A rose would be nice, though," Peter gave back. His inner thoughts and emotions were bare for the alpha to witness in the vastness of his brown eyes.

Ironically, the request would be more difficult to fulfill. Diamonds, Tony could have smuggled in. They were tiny and easily hidden. Peter would perhaps have a hard time keeping them but anyone who knew they were a gift from the prime wouldn't dare touch them.

But a rose… Another fleeting thing. Something that wouldn't survive here. And yet, Tony wanted to get it for him.

Maybe it was because it was a challenge to do so. Maybe it was for some other reason…

Roses and diamonds… He thought wistfully. It didn't mean anything to the omega, but it did for Tony.

He dismissed the thought and instead gave the omega a charming smile.

"A rose… It would suit you," Tony told him. "A rose and a promise then, along with my… protection. What then are you giving me in return, hmm?"

Peter would not repeat the same mistake as before. Offering anything to the alpha was just not persuasive enough since he had already backed down from such claims. Yet the omega was determined and would go very far to have Tony as his protector.

“I’m tough. I may not look it, but I am,” he said and gulped, his cheeks getting a bit rosy.

The words didn’t match with his softness, his vulnerability that was so obvious in his scent.

“I can work for you, obey, and be devoted. I can… do the dirty work.” He glanced to the side, unsure.

The omega knew that he didn’t seem like much, but this… he really meant it.

Tony hummed in response and gave the boy a look over.

Whoever heard of an omega doing dirty work? That'd be interesting, indeed. Tony couldn't even really think of what task he would give the omega, but then, having a potential piece is better than not having one at all.

He'd find a use for Peter eventually, he was sure of it. At least the boy learned quick.

"You want to be a grunt in my… organization?" Tony said thoughtfully but shook his head, "I don't need more grunts. I have those in spares, even here."

He gave another thoughtful hum and let his eyes linger on the omega's pretty features. He circled the waiting boy, considering… Considering…

No tricks or games was what he had just promised. He'll stick to it then.

The prime prowled forward, every step a confident stride. His chest pressed against Peter's back, firm and unyielding.

"I have a better idea and you can decide yourself," Tony purred as he curled an arm around the omega's neck. His lips brushed against Peter's ear, soft and intimate.

"How about you keep me company, hmm?" Tony suggested, "Be mine. My omega. I have business to take care of and a fickle heart can cause trouble. Keep all the other omegas from interfering and we have a deal."

It was such a minor thing but Tony's interest wasn't so easily won. It would be one less worry, one less quarrel that he could somehow get caught in.

Peter felt Tony’s chest rise and fall against his back, with the man’s steady breathing. He turned his head, for a moment, to look at him, before lowering it again. His chest raced, and how could it not, after this proposition.

Just business… a cold deal. Well… not for Peter, since being Tony’s omega was his heart’s deep desire. He wanted to be close to him, to accompany him… to talk to him… To stare up into those beautiful dark eyes…

But it was not easy to say yes, even if it was what Peter wanted. It was risky, but the man had promised… And Peter believed him.

“Then we have a deal.” Peter nodded, and his form stiffened.

To belong to the most powerful man in prison was a serious matter. And yet the omega didn’t care as much for this as he cared for the fact that he would belong to Tony Stark and be his. Peter’s young love surged even greater with the possibilities. The omega tried to not fool himself and still, that hopeless dream of true love didn’t seem as unattainable…

Or maybe…

Maybe he was giving himself away for false hopes and empty promises. A flower cut off the garden, to be scented and of use until… deflowered.

Even though Peter couldn't see it, Tony's smile grew once the deal was made. The omega also wasn't pulling away so Tony felt a bit... daring.

He turned his face, nudging his nose against the boy's ear. Peter's scent had turned sweet again, like honey on his tongue and the alpha breathed it in like it was a drug.

"Deal," Tony said, lips curved up in a devilish grin.

#starker #madstarker writes #lovelygarnet is amazing #madlove roleplay #nff #prime alpha Tony #omega peter #prison au #omegaverse

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doctortreklock · 4 years

Text

Anything Can Be - December 11, 2019

Part of my Resolution19. Read it on AO3.

Prompt: Anything Can Happen, Child (x)

December is a month of Remixes and Sequels!!!

Fandom: Supernatural

Title: "Listen to the Mustn'ts" by Shel Silverstein

Words: 3127

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His phone was ringing.

It was the first time it had rung since he'd left the bunker three days earlier. Cas had half-expected a few angry or drunken phone calls within a few hours of his departure.

He wasn't sure if he was pleasantly or unpleasantly surprised to find out that Dean apparently hadn't even really cared that he'd gone.

And now his phone was ringing. According to caller id, it was Dean.

He took it out of his pocket and set it on the picnic table in front of him. He watched it dance across the rough surface as it buzzed. Just before it was about to fall off the edge, it stopped and the screen went blank again.

Cas nudged it further onto the table with the side of his hand and went back to attempting to eat his hamburger without spilling sauce all over himself.

It didn't budge. Dean hadn't left a voicemail.

Again, Cas wasn't sure how he felt about that.

He balled up his garbage and threw it away, pocketing his phone as he returned to his car. He had just buckled his seatbelt, when he heard the strangest thing, like someone was tuning a radio and sliding up and down the dial. Just lots and lots of static with ever-changing frequencies.

He frowned at his dash, but the car wasn't on, so the radio was likewise silent. The static kept tuning until Cas could make out some words.

"-gel Castiel." Dean paused. "If he's listening, that is." It was a prayer. It had been so long since he had been hailed by a sibling on "angel radio," as Dean called it, that he apparently had forgotten what it was like. And now Dean was calling him.

"I'm not even sure if this is still w......ng. Or if you even want to .........ve to say. But Cas--" and Dean sounded determined now "--I'm going to keep trying." Apparently his connection was still a little spotty. Metatron hadn't done his grace any favors by surgically removing it from its angel, and even with his grace currently restored, his power was waning. Who knew how long he'd be able to receive prayers at all.

Cas ignored the pang in his chest at the thought. He'd been without reception before and he'd do it again. No matter that receiving prayers was among the lowest-powered abilities an angel had. He'd be fine.

"I'm praying to the angel Castiel, if he's st............king my calls. Cas," and Dean sounded lonely, no matter the distance, "you once said you'd always come wh..................ll. Is that still true?"

The static had been longer that time, but it didn't matter. Cas could remember the day he'd said it as if it were yesterday. Half at each other's throats, both trying so desperately to sway the other to their way of thinking. I always come when you call. He sighed, half exasperated, half fond, which really wasn't a new combination when it came to dealing with Dean Winchester.

Silence crackled across the line for a moment before Cas heard Dean echo his unheard sigh. He could almost picture the well-worn expression on Dean's face. "I'm going to keep call.........ou, Cas. So if you can hear me, I'd app......ate it if you'd let me talk to you, man.” There was a pause before Cas heard Dean whisper “Amen.”

The line abruptly cut off, and Cas was left in a ringing silence.

He carefully didn't think about the prayer, took a deep breath, and reached for his keys. Before he had a chance to turn the key in the ignition, his phone rang again, a harsh buzzing breaking the silence and the phone vibrating against his thigh.

Cas rested his hand over the phone in his pocket, trying to decide whether or not he was going to pick up. Despite his better judgement, he sighed and fished it out just before it would have gone to voicemail.

"Hello, Dean," he said shortly. The warmth that had always accompanied the words before was gone.

Dean cleared his throat. "Hey, Cas," he said.

He didn't say anything after that, and Cas waited for a long moment, his irritation growing before he growled, "What do you want?"

"I'm sorry," Dean blurted out. "Really sorry, Cas. Really, really sorry."

Cas pursed his lips and didn't say anything.

"I just--" Dean broke off. "I-- Can I see you?"

His voice was quiet and more tentative than Cas thought he had ever heard from the other man. He closed his eyes and rubbed a thumb over the bridge of his nose. He didn't want to. Dean's accusations still rang in his ears days later. But the indifference he had assumed hadn't materialized, and Dean was asking for him. I always come when you call.

He was going to regret this.

"Where?" he asked shortly.

Dean's exhale of relief was loud over the connection. "What state are you in?" he asked.

"Oregon," Cas lied.

"Okay, uh... There's a diner in Rock Springs, Lucinda's, if you wanted to meet there," Dean suggested, and it sounded more like a question than a statement.

"When?"

Cas could hear Dean thinking. It was nine and a half hours from Lebanon to Rock Springs. If Cas really was in Oregon, it would be a couple more than that for him. It was currently Sunday afternoon, so if they adhered to Dean's usual road trip schedule, he'd suggest Monday night, or maybe Tuesday morning if he was feeling generous or particularly tired. That would pose a slight problem, considering Cas's actual location, but it wasn't the first time--

"Wednesday at 11?" Dean asked tentatively.

Cas actually froze for a moment. That was...surprisingly...surprising. It meant something, he was sure. He just wasn't sure what it was.

"Okay," he agreed. And hung up.

He put the phone back in his coat pocket by sheer muscle memory. He stared out the front windshield for a moment, then shook himself and started the car. He had to get going. Even with Dean's unexpectedly generous timing, it was still seventeen hours to Rock Springs from Pontiac, Illinois.

When Cas pulled up to Lucinda's Family-Style Diner at quarter to 11 on Wednesday, the Impala was already parked there. When he walked in, he found Dean in a booth with a carafe of coffee, an emptied mug, and small pieces of paper from a dismantled straw wrapper strewn across the table's surface. There was a portable radio squeezed on the bench between him and the wall.

Cas didn't say anything. He sat on the other side of the booth, folded his hands on the table, and stared at Dean expectantly. He may have come when Dean called, but that didn't mean he had to like it. One of the wait staff started heading towards their table, but Dean waved them off.

Dean shifted in his seat. "Hey, Cas," he said, rolling a scrap of the straw wrapper between his fingers. "You want some coffee?" he offered, gesturing to the carafe.

"Thank you," Cas replied stiffly, turning over the clean mug on his side of the table. When he picked up the carafe, he noticed that it was much lighter than he'd been expecting, and his cup served to empty it entirely. "Been here long?" he commented.

Dean shrugged. "Not too long." He paused, fidgeting with the straw wrapper before he dropped it to the table. "Uh, here," he said, grabbing the portable radio and sliding it on to the edge of the table.

It was an older model, square and silver, with two speakers on the face and a cassette player and the radio controls in the middle. Cas looked at it for a moment, then looked at Dean expectantly.

"It's a boombox," Dean explained.

Somewhere in the mass of pop culture Metatron had dumped into his brain, Cas felt a small ping, but he couldn't quite make the reference surface. "What?"

"It's--" Dean looked uncomfortable. "It's from those movies...you know...with the--" he sighed. "They're chick flicks, man. And the guy has to win back the girl so he makes a big romantic gesture and stands outside her window with a boombox, and--" he broke off.

"And she takes him back," Cas finished, the reference finally clicking.

"Yeah," Dean agreed. "She takes him back." He glanced at the radio before his eyes flitted to Cas. "So here I am, boombox in hand."

That was not... Cas cleared his throat and gently slid his mug in a circle, watching the black coffee swirl against the sides. "This is your big romantic gesture," he clarified.

"Yes." This, at least, seemed to be something Dean was sure of.

No matter Cas's feelings on the matter, he had been sure Dean had always seen their relationship in the plainest of terms. Friend. Family. Now, with the boombox sitting unavoidably on the table, Cas abruptly realized that maybe Dean was seeing the same depth he was, like a two-dimensional image suddenly offset to reveal a third axis.

His mouth went dry. "Go on."

"Cas," Dean started firmly. Then he stopped, as if unsure where to go now that he'd gotten permission to proceed. "I want to apologize first. For everything that I said-- For everything." He looked down at the scraps of paper he was fidgeting with again, but forcibly dragged his eyes back up to meet Cas's. "I didn't mean any of it. Not Rowena, not Mom, not... Not any of it." He paused. "I wasn't in a good place. I mean, it doesn't excuse it, but-- I wasn't in a good place. Mom had just died and--"

"Dean," Cas interrupted. "If you were 'not in a good place' every time you lost a loved one, or an apocalyptic event occurred, you would never be in a 'good place.'" He didn’t use air quotes. He’d learned that much about humanity at least.

Dean paused, appearing thrown by Cas's comment. "...Good point. Thanks, Cas." He sounded careful, not annoyed, which had been Cas's expectation.

Dean cleared his throat roughly. "I was in a worse place than usual, and I took it out on you." He looked directly at Cas. "I'm sorry."

Cas took a drink of his lukewarm coffee. "Did you mean it?"

"No!" Dean said quickly. "Not at all! I mean, yeah, Cas, things go wrong, things always go wrong, but..." He took a breath and it sounded like he was quoting. "Sometimes that's your fault. But sometimes it's my fault and sometimes it's Sam's fault. It's sort of a family motto." His smile was weak and crooked.

"And Cas," he continued quickly. "It might have been me and Sam for a while there, but it hasn't been just the two of us for years now; it's been the three of us - you and me and Sam. And we're just not a family anymore without you."

"So I'm an honorary Winchester?" Cas asked ironically.

"I'm not sure it's honorary anymore," Dean said honestly. "I think you're just a Winchester now."

Stunned, Cas blinked at him for a second before dropping his gaze back to his half-empty mug of cold coffee. As declarations go, it was more than Cas had thought he'd get. Years of being not human enough and not trusted enough and simply not enough had driven it home that he would never be Winchester enough for the brothers.

And now Dean was offering him the title of "family," as if he'd never meant to deny him it in the first place. I'm dead to you rang through his head, followed by the stifling silence of Dean's reply.

"What did you come here to say?" Cas asked softly.

"Three things," Dean told him, counting off on his fingers. "First, that I'm sorry for what was said, what I said. I was angry, but I didn't mean it, any of it.

"Two. You're family. Full stop. No matter what else, you're a Winchester til the day you die." His expression was definitely lopsided and crooked now. "Please don't die."

He grabbed another scrap of wrapper and started twisting it. There weren't a lot of untouched pieces left. "If you don't want to see me, you don't have to," Dean admitted, and it sounded like he was pulling teeth. "Sammy misses you. We just want to know you're safe."

Cas took that in. He couldn't deny that he had missed Sam, and it would be a relief to always get the benefit of the doubt - assuming anything in his relationship with the brothers would actually change, no matter Dean's promises. It wouldn't alter much for the rest of the world; all the angels, demons, and other beings he ran into who knew of him knew that he was associated with the Winchesters. It would be nice, he reflected, to have some of the unwavering support that seemed to come with the title. John Winchester, after all, had not been a good father to his sons, but they would not stand to have anyone malign him in their hearing. That might be nice.

Dean hadn't said anything yet, so Cas prompted him. "Three?"

"Three," Dean breathed. He closed his eyes for a moment before opening them, squaring his shoulders, and meeting Cas's gaze head-on. "I'm in love with you, Cas," he declared.

Cas blinked at him. He hadn't expected that. "Okay," he agreed.

Dean didn't seem to have expected that response either. "Okay?" he echoed.

"Okay," Cas confirmed.

"Does that-- I mean, do you--" Dean floundered. "Can you give me more than 'okay'?" he asked. "Like...like how you feel?"

Cas certainly could. "Dean, I was lost to heaven the moment I met you, and I turned my back on everything I believed because of you," Cas informed him dryly. "Did you need anything more explicit?"

Dean gaped at him. "Well, I--"

"Because I did tell you," Cas said shortly. "Explicitly. That I loved you. When I was dying. And you didn't say anything." He paused. "So that was awkward."

"I see you've finally gotten the hang of sarcasm," Dean said, a teasing grin sliding into place. It was hollow, though, and Cas hadn't realized how much Dean had let his walls down until one was rebuilt in front of him.

"Dean," Cas said tiredly, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

The wall fell as quickly as Dean had erected it. "Look, man, I'm sorry, I am," he said, the facade he had attempted cracking easily under the weight of the conversation. "And I'm going to keep screwing up, both of us know that. I just..." He dropped his gaze to the tabletop. "I'm hoping you'd rather have me, cursed or not," he said, and the phrase sounded clumsy and unpracticed in his mouth.

Cas stared at him, wide-eyed.

Dean rubbed his hands together nervously and didn't look up. "You, uh, you gave everything for me, you rebelled and fell and-- You always came when I called, Cas. Always." Dean glanced up at Cas, and Cas wasn't sure what he saw, but Dean didn't drop his eyes again. "When I said I needed you...what I meant was that I loved you, Cas. A lot."

Yesterday, Cas hadn't believed anything would have been able to break Naomi's spell quicker than Dean's impassioned voice pleading with him to stop, spilling the phrase We're family. We need you. I need you. He had been wrong. Now, in this moment, Cas was absolutely certain that he was free of all spells and compulsions. Dean Winchester looking him square in the eye and telling him he loved him (twice!) would have broken any enchantment on him thrice over.

"When I asked you what was real, you told me that we were," Dean continued. "And Cas? That's been true the whole time. Everything. Every time you showed up for a hunt and hung around after for burgers and milkshakes. Every time I was at the end of my rope and you bailed me out. Every time you were lost and I found you." Dean swallowed and added quieter, "Every time I was lost and you found me. That was real.

"I know I haven't been the best friend," Dean admitted, closing his eyes briefly, too long to be a blink. "Or the best brother. Or the best partner. And I'm sorry. But Cas," Dean said roughly. "There has never been a day since you raised me that I haven't thought of you." And when he looked at Cas, the falling angel could see that there was absolute truth in the hunter's eyes. "I love you," he finished simply. "I miss you."

"Dean," Cas said, and this time, he couldn't help the warmth that spread through his tone. "What did you come here to ask me?" he repeated.

"Will you come home?" Dean asked, and the note of hope in his voice sounded rusty and seldom-used.

He'd know this was coming, but Cas still hadn't realized how hard it would be to deny his petition. "I don't think that's a good idea," he said gently. "Not right now."

Dean's shoulders slumped. "Right," he said. "Sure."

"I just think we should take this slow," Cas told him quickly. "We both made enough mistakes; I want to make sure we do it right this time."

Dean perked up slightly. "Slow?" he clarified. "Not not-at-all?"

"Slow," Cas confirmed with a hint of a smile.

"Well," Dean said. "I don't think we've been on a proper, official date yet." He said 'date' with wonder, as if it were something he'd never imagined being able to use in this context, but now that he could...it was like pie, precious and meant to be shared.

"I've been told they don't count unless both parties present know it's a date," Cas informed him. Claire had told him that, reducing the count of theoretical dates he might have had with Dean Winchester to zero.

"Would you like to get lunch?" Dean asked lightly. "I'm buying."

"Yes," Cas told him firmly. "I would love to go on a date with you."

Dean's smile was like sunrise.

Later, after the burgers and shared fries and milkshakes in tall glasses, after Dean tells him he needs to take care of himself and to call if he runs into trouble, after Cas tells him to say hi to Sam on his behalf, Cas will stand slightly too close and tell Dean to call him. He tells him he'll answer if he can and call back if he can't. Dean will gladly accept Cas's offer, grateful to have the proffered connection at all.

It's no "always come when you call," but it's rebuilding, and realistic, and better in every way.

#Resolution19 #Remixes and Sequels #supernatural #spn #destiel #15.03 #confessions #reconciliation #dean apologizes #a lot #this one was like pulling teeth #serious #i've only been working on it since the end of october

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truthbeetoldmedia · 5 years

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The 100 6x05 "The Gospel of Josephine" Review

Y’all breathing okay? I think there were a few times when I held my breath this episode and boy howdy! I’m glad The 100 can still give me those moments. Now let’s dive right in to the episode:

Bonjour Josephine!

Last week we got a tiny bite of Josephine. Tonight we got the whole "gâteau opéra”, emphasis on “opera”, for the story of the Primes seems to be a long and bloody Shakespearean affair on an alien moon. Jaux!Clarke (see what I did there?) has barely fired up her silicone memories before she dispatches poor Kaylee with a cheese knife. Apparently Kaylee assisted, or at least didn’t prevent, Josephine’s last host body’s “death”, and she’s been on ice for six years waiting for a new host to be born and grow up. (Which we learn later is because they need a fully developed over-21 adult brain to host an adult’s memory chip, as they overload and kill child hosts. Glad we don’t have to see how they know that.)

Apparently Russell and Simone “jumped line” to bring back Josephine so I’m assuming it’s setup like an organ donor list, except people wait actual decades to talk to their loved ones again. The price of eternal life, eh? Also I can bet there will be some VERY unhappy Primes once they find out Russell and Simone cut line to get their daughter back amongst the living. Josephine seems to be hardened by her long life, and thinks very pragmatically and cold. She has successfully “other-ed” everyone except her loved ones...which is not comforting but also, I can’t help but think the gang would be very happy to have old Clarke back when they get a taste of real cold indifference from Jaux!Clarke.

Her “parents” give her time to adjust and we see Jaux!Clarke painting while dancing to French rap — a sentence I never thought I’d type for a sci-fi show review. She’s of course been given a task: find out how many nightbloods, aka hosts, our Space Popsicles have (since we really can’t call our gang the 100 or the delinquents anymore I’ve decided to call them this, fight me) to keep the Primes from becoming extinct. How hard can it possibly be to pretend to be Clarke right? All I thought was give Bellamy Blake and Jordan Green 10 minutes alone with her and she will figure that out real quick. (Also I was SO pleased to discover I was correct with guessing those two!)

Space Popsicle™️ Fam finds skeletons in the closet!

Jaux!Clarke meets up with Bellamy, Jordan, Gaia and the rest of the SpacePops™️ Fam and starts acting weird immediately. (Subtle at first but someone forgot to check if she knew Trig ha!) She dodges her first bullet and finds Abby to try and find out how many nightbloods might be on the main ship, only to hear herself called a monster and have Abby compare her book to the Eugenics books of our time. I enjoyed seeing her squirm at Abby’s assessment of her book, though Abby doesn’t have a lot of room to judge...

When Abby questions why her left-handed daughter is writing with her right hand, Jaux!Clarke needs to find a reason to exit stage left and she sees Bellamy and Murphy looking for Jordan and follows them. They find Jordan in the spooky science closet full of skeletons (subtle the Primes are not) and Bellamy is of course in full Dad mode™️, asking Jordan what the heck he’s doing. Jordan delivers quite possibly my favorite line of the season, thus far:

“What you would’ve done, The you before Praimfaya, anyway. Heart over head. That was always my favorite Bellamy.”

Monty and Harper's son, ladies and gentlemen!! Y’all I nearly jumped to my feet and clapped! Because that Bellamy is also my favorite Bellamy! And this whole season is a little odd feeling to me because Bellamy already feels like he’s been body snatched. Let’s hope this wonderful line delivered with perfection by the fabulous Shannon Kook is a sign we will get some old “I say, screw fear. I’m telling my own damn story” Bellamy Blake back this year! (Can I get an amen!)

Back to the science skeleton closet:

Jaux!Clarke Tries and fails to lure team SpacePops™️ out but Jordan and Gaia keep digging around and they end up watching the first “successful” upload of Josephine by Gabriel and her now very old looking father (og body) Russell. We also learned it took 25 years for them to develop and perfect the AI tech and lord knows how many corpses to get there.

We don’t know yet but I have a feeling we can guess the “old man” is Gabriel and “the Children of Gabriel” are followers against the “Primes ways” and are a result of him regretting playing God to get Josephine back and exiling himself once Josephine and fam got a little to unhinged about “hosts” and “nightblood”, leading others to follow his example. After Jaux!Clarke calls Murphy “John” and says a few other strange things, Bellamy asks to speak to her alone and, I’m just saying, if you watch this scene you see that Bellamy already KNoWS this isn’t “normal” Clarke. He isn’t sure what’s wrong yet, but he knows enough to test her and he can tell she can’t really understand what he’s saying in Trig! So he pulls a signature “Bellamy” move and yanks her back by the throat and starts asking questions because he’s now officially in panic mode —

BUT alas! She had a syringe of that lovely paralytic on hand just in case and the last thing we see in this scene is the horrible realization in Bellamy’s eyes as he lies helplessly paralyzed on the ground: there is a cold stranger behind his best friend’s beautiful blue eyes...and he cannot process his fear and loss fast enough. Welcome back heart over head Bellamy, we’ve missed you!!

Cut to Jaux!Clarke finding Murphy in the bar and revealing her true identity and confessing “Clarke is dead. My parents killed her” (listen I don’t buy it kids) and offering our favorite morally questionable cockroach something he might not be able to pass up: eternal life. Given his recent brush with death and sudden fear of hell….oh boy! It’s gonna take him a minute to realize he should help his friends, I just hope he realizes that before he’s made a full deal with the devil.

Diyoza and the Brat

This pair is a surprising team up, but if I have to suffer through Octavia’s “redemption” they couldn’t have picked a better reward than my favorite Season 5 addition (besides sweet Shaw! I’m still bitter about that guys) DIYOZA! Sassy, amazing fighter, the universe’s longest known pregnant lady. I could watch an entire show about her. (Also Ivana Milicevic is a dream in this role.) She’s the gift that keeps on giving, cool as a cucumber while stuck in space quicksand as Octavia is about to go under because she cannot be still for one second. Probably because if Octavia’s quiet she’ll think and with that comes dark thoughts: how she failed as a leader, how she was willing to abuse, torture and maybe even kill her brother, how her brother, the one person who she thought would always love her through her greatest faults, finally couldn’t take anymore and rejected her. She doesn’t have anything left to lose. Rock bottom meet Octavia Blake, Octavia Blake meet rock bottom.

Now I know I sound harsh but after Season 4 I was beyond seeing her as anything but a villain. I know she is on her way to redemption, but I’m glad they are giving her the long way through the dirt and mud, letting her soak in the cage of her own making a while. And giving us the wonderful Diyoza to lighten the mood. I am all for unsuspecting road trip buddies in shows (Arya and the Hound anyone?) but unfortunately so far all Octavia’s done is try to murder people, throw tantrums, and sulk. Oh well, at least Diyoza is getting in some practice for when she finally gets to have her 200-year-old baby! Really though bless her heart, she deserves some kind of sainthood for this.

Mount Weather + City of Light + Commander worship, shaken not stirred

I actually dig the intersecting of all the “bad guy” storylines into one big villain origin story wearing Clarke’s face. If nothing else it’s a poetic rehash of all the previous seasons, but refreshing enough to not seem stale...for the most part. I grow tired of the Flame/commander story and miss the more simple “teens surviving the unknown my learning to depend and care for each other” story of the first few seasons. BUT considering Season 5’s underwhelming last half, if there is one thing I can say about Season 6 of The 100...it’s not boring! And for a show that sometimes paces the plot too fast I was actually okay with that this time around! I did not want it to take three episodes for our fave family of 150 year old space popsicles to discover Clarke is “dead”. Also I am so glad it was the magic duo of Bellamy and Jordan that made the realization first.

Final thoughts

Eliza Taylor has grown so much as an actress over the seasons! She looks like she had so much fun playing Jaux!Clarke and she gave her such a different “spirit” than our usual worried and sometimes snarky but mostly serious Clarke Griffin. Just the way her eyes dance lets you know it’s not “real Clarke”.

I neglected to mention the importance of Jordan knowing “Delilah” before her change to Priya VII, so his spidey senses also go off around Clarke because he knows what a person who just got body snatched acts like! When he took “Delilah” the flowers I was like my poor son.

This episode was great because the focus was tighter and had fewer characters to keep up with! (Listen I love ensemble casts but they have not given Raven a strong independent storyline since Season 4, and I love Emori but she doesn’t really have a lot to do at the moment either, as for Echo...why she was made a main character when Harper was right there all those seasons? I’ll never know.) All that to say, I like when they break up the cast a bit and just focus on a few at a time to really get that interpersonal development between characters. That used to be the bread and butter of this show. Don’t get me wrong, I still love The 100 and find it unique and fun and twisty and exhilarating and at times beautifully heartbreaking.

(Episodes 1x05, 1x07, 1x13, 2x15, 2x16, 4x13 and 5x13 are perfect examples of this.)

But I do yearn for those slower, deeper days of, say, a boy and a girl grappling with the moral quandary of torturing a stranger tied up in the cockpit of a crashed spaceship to save a dying friend. Sometimes bigger and shiner isn’t always better. But no matter how this season goes, The 100 is still one of my favorite TV shows ever, and deserves a spot up there with a lot of other great sci-fi dramas of the past two decades.

As of now all I need to know is: where the heck is Bellamy Blake and is he okay?!

Gina’s episode rating: 🐝🐝🐝🐝

The 100 airs Tuesdays at 9/8c on the CW.

#The 100 #The Gospel of Josephine

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fadingcoast · 5 years

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Death Of The Lie || Chapter 17: Asgard

Summary: Odin and his daughter Hela are the perfect conquerors of the universe. The nine realms fall one after the other into their clutch. After Odin takes a second wife and has a son with her, he doesn’t need Hela anymore. Hela abandons her father and ends up marrying Laufey, a sworn enemy of the Aesir people. Not long after, she becomes pregnant with Laufey’s child. Odin cannot let that son be born, but against all odds, the boy survives. Odin is forced to bring him back to Asgard to be raised as his own until he could make further use of him. The half-Jotun-half-Aesir boy grows up to look and act a lot like his mother, which disturbs Odin, and makes him treat the boy horribly. Odin’s lies are deep and complex, but one day the boy will find out the truth about everything he is.

PAIRING: None RATING: Teen

MASTERLIST

Feedback is always appreciated and reblogs are encouraged!!

Chapter 17: Asgard

Dearest Sigyn:

It is with great woe that I inform you that I have cut my hair. I imagine Gwyn will not be pleased with this, but I could never care for it as she did. And believe me, I tried. If I know you at all, right now you’re rolling your eyes wondering if my father had anything to do with my decision. I believe you know the answer to that, as he has been pestering me from day one to do this. I didn’t want to give in just yet, but even with the help of my magic, all I made of it was a mess. In this weather, though, it's probably for the best. It was getting a bit hot to maintain.

I have been in Asgard for so little time, but it already feels like decades. I want nothing more than to go back to Alfheim. To see you, to immerse in the Alfar world again. I miss the rivers, the lakes, the mountains… I imagine the berry fields must be ready for harvesting. It makes me sad not to be there to taste the first fruits. The castle is too quiet at night without a river nearby and at times I find it difficult to sleep. I had to conjure a fake one in my balcony just to get some rest.

Thor has become nearly unbearable in my absence. I had noticed his mannerisms becoming closer to Odin’s in the past, but without any opposing influence my brother has gone full brute. He talks often of the realms he wishes to keep under tighter control once he is king. Mother ensures that his rants don't go too far, but he treats her word more as a suggestion than wisdom. I fear he may one day become a victim of his own hubris, and the kingdom with him. I've not a clue what Lady Sif still sees in him but they are unbearably inseparable.

The news of our engagement is still quiet, as mother has not tested the waters of my father's approval yet. Odin appears to be somewhat relieved to have me back where he can see me and has kept his scorn to a reasonable level so long as I keep my nose clean. I suspect if he is not told soon he will either marry me off to a daughter of some random Aesir nobility and have us live in the castle or have me groomed to be the King's right hand when Thor takes the throne. It is with no exaggeration that I admit I would rather fling myself off the rainbow bridge than to do either, so I think I will have to tell him before long.

I hope to hear from you soon, as I know you are finishing up your last term at the Sanctum and I know you're terribly busy.

-L

Dear Loki:

I don't have to tell you how beautiful the land looks right now, how thick the air is with the sweet fragrance of ripened fruits and honeysuckle. This land is in your blood, and you would sooner forget to breathe than to not think about it. I hardly get to see it these days but I like to go to your old room and sit in the bay window to study. At times I will fall asleep there and I will awake with a start, thinking it's you tapping on my shoulder, but it's Gwyn. Soon I will take my final exams, just a few years out. I don't know how you did it.

You don’t want to know what Gwyn’s reaction was when I broke the news about your hair to her. You’d think the world was ending. Honestly, as good as it looked, I’m surprised you didn’t do it sooner, it must have been so heavy.

I hope the selection of fruits and ale I sent with this letter are to your liking, and that they didn’t end up on your head. I think I will need a sketch or drawing of your room to get familiar with it and pinpoint my teleporting spells, as I am not as familiar with it as you are with my chambers. This will make our exchanges happen a lot faster and no one else can read what we write. It will also help me practice my teleportation techniques.

Maybe one day before long I can visit Asgard, with the King and Queen's permission, of course, after our engagement is known.

-S

The steady exchange of letters Loki kept with Sigyn was full of funny anecdotes and jokes, and it kept him from losing his mind most days. Lucky for both of them, they had perfected a tracking system so they could teleport letters, portraits and presents back and forth, bypassing the regular system. It helped time pass and it kept Loki’s sense of humor intact on days where all he wanted was to escape royal life.

It wasn’t odd for Loki to wake up to a room full of blackberry infused ale, or daffodils in blossom, and some other seasonal foods. It was quite the feat to explain to Frigga why he had so many turnips in his room before he sent them all to the kitchens. But the Queen knew to keep his secret and would help her son ensure gifts from Sigyn ended up where they needed to go, though Loki did prefer to keep the ale for himself.

The letters were also full of less pleasant things. Loki’s nightmares had made a comeback, and they were getting worse. Visions of him in an icy tomb, surrounded by bright blue cold light, where the most frequent. Other times he would be surrounded by darkness, no wind, no sound, lifeless. Sometimes he could even swear there was something calling to him in the dark, but he would jolt awake, covered in frost, before he could figure it out. He spent most of his free time in the library, trying to find an explanation, but most of what he found presented more questions than answers and made no sense.

Loki could not tell this to anyone. Thor wouldn’t care, Frigga wouldn’t be able to help him and Odin would probably berate him for not controlling his powers. As if I could control them while asleep. Sigyn was the only person who he knew could trust with this, and though she was too far away to really help him, she still sent him medicinal herbs, sleeping potions (dreamless sleep was better than no sleep, after all) and comfort food he would not find in Asgard. In addition, she would also send copies of manuscripts she thought could help him.

During the day, Loki fell into a routine, keeping his mind busy to keep out of his own head and fill the endless hours of the day. He was obliged to attend certain diplomatic meetings but only as an observer and only to learn more about running the kingdom. Forced to wear his ceremonial uniform - horns and all - Loki loathed them, but was still far more observant of visiting ambassadors than he let on. It was him who picked up on it each time one would try to lie or trick the Allfather, and after some time Odin wanted to use his skill at every meeting. It was a thankless job, but Loki knew he had to make himself indispensable to gain the Allfather’s trust, so he performed his duty with a sort of reluctant sense of responsibility. For the first time in almost his entire life, Odin stopped insulting him at every opportunity, and replaced his mistrust with indifference. Loki was no longer followed by Odin’s blasted ravens, or by the Einherjar, everywhere he went.

Even while being used, Loki found a measure of freedom in Asgard at last.

My Queen:

It’s been decades and I still can’t get used to being here.

I’ve been made very aware in more than one occasion that this is a world built for warriors, and I am not one of them. Thor has tried to include me in his tiny clique, but he insists on mocking my powers, unless he can make use of them.

“Some do battle, while others do tricks,” he says - but he’s perfectly happy with my “tricks” saving him, and then taking all the credit when an incursion goes well. In any case, is not like Odin would congratulate me, as he dislikes me using my magic when I‘m supposed to be using weapons and considers sorcery to be the cheater’s way. Nothing ever satisfies his impossible standards.

I must admit that I’ve used magic for more than saving my brother’s behind, though.

Fandral has gotten no more amenable, and wastes no opportunity to make crude remarks about my magic and my shapeshifting. This of course only happens whenever Thor isn’t around, the spineless worm. But I finally got my revenge.

In a recent trip, I suggested I used my female form, as the ruler of said realm was a fierce woman who wanted nothing to do with negotiations as long as Odin or Thor were conducting them. I thought, very accurately, she would be more lenient if a woman was the representative. To everyone’s surprise, except mine, it worked, and now interrealm relations are advancing.

That evening, in the revels of it, Fandral once again tried to make advances on me. This time, I was prepared. I had been working on a little something for some time, and it was the perfect opportunity to lace his drink with a very special concoction.

He spent the next two full days as a pig! His tiny brain managed to keep him safe from the slaughterhouse. Once the effect wore off, he tried to blame me for it, but he had no proof. Besides, it’s not the first time he has gone missing for a couple of days. Most believe his excuses just got out of hand.

I must say, potion making isn’t fun and it will probably never be my strong point, but the results are very satisfactory. Hopefully the goateed swine has learned at least a small lesson about underestimating me.

I believe the time has almost come for my father to be informed of our engagement, though if and when it happens it won’t likely be made public knowledge until after Thor’s coronation, which is at least another half century or more away. But it will stop Odin from discussing my possible marital prospects involving Aesir nobility for the foreseeable future. I will tell you as soon as I am able to do it.

-L

PS: Please, tell Gwyn her blackberry pie was delicious, and that without her here to tell me not to eat it in one sitting, I ate it in one sitting.

My King:

Gwyn is both very pleased and very cross with your message. I could still hear her muttering about your sweet tooth and lack of self control well into dinner time.

I kind of want to feel sorry for Fandral, or at least tell you to make productive use of what you’ve learned. But I’m not going to, cause I am imagining a pig with a blond goatee, and I wish you could have kept some register of it.

As for our engagement, I have no better news than you.

My cousin, Princess Frikka of Vanaheim, has announced her betrothal and upcoming wedding. Every and all announcements will be on hold until after she weds and the new future king is presented. Her fiancé comes from one of the oldest houses on the realm and has been around the royal family probably since he was born. Surprisingly enough, they chose each other, which leads me to believe he must have some integrity and intelligence in him. Frikka is smart and strong willed, she wouldn’t suffer a fool.

I am guessing that for a ceremony of this magnitude and significance, Asgard will be sending Thor in Odin’s behalf. If you want me to, I can brew something to turn him into a goat.

-S

Sigyn:

In an unsuspected turn of events, my father has decided I’m the one to represent Asgard in Princess Frikka’s upcoming wedding. Thor, as usual, wants nothing to do with diplomatic visits or ceremonial commitments, and my father is once again incapable of putting his foot down with him.

I do regret that you will miss the chance to turn Thor into a goat. But there’s always more ceremonies and weddings, including our own, where you can try that out.

I look forward to see you in Vanaheim next fortnight. The prospect of you being there and seeing you again is the only thing that will keep me sane.

-L

The week leading to the event, Loki found himself excited by the thought of reuniting with Sigyn, and wanted to do something special for her. For this, he enlisted his mother’s help, as he had no clue of where to get the gift he had in mind.

Loki had discussed their unofficial engagement with his mother several times in length, and while he knew the Queen had indeed informed Odin, it was rather odd that the Allfather hadn’t talked to him about it in person.

Loki wanted to question this decision, maybe even talk to his father himself. Odin had always been very adamant in controlling everything in his life. Why all of a sudden did he seem to not care about it? Or maybe he was looking for a reason to forbid Loki from marrying Sigyn, thus stopping him from leaving Asgard for good? Loki wouldn’t put it past Odin to do such a thing. It wasn’t until much later that the reason behind Odin’s silence became clearer.

As much as they tried to hide it, Odin’s dwindling health was a well-known secret. The whispers and rumors had not gone unnoticed by Loki. This only meant the palace would be making arrangements sooner than planned to proclaim Thor as King. Loki couldn’t help but feel bitter about it: as usual, he was being pushed aside for his brother to shine.

Yet, he had no time to dwell on it. Diplomatic trips weren’t something Asgard took lightly, least of all now, when such an important ceremony was involved. Loki had to get a proper outfit, take time to study and relearn some of Vanaheim ceremonial etiquette, and find Sigyn her gift.

When the day came, Loki found himself rather excited by the prospect of spending a few days away from Asgard. He told himself the butterflies in his stomach were from the responsibility invested on him to represent Asgard and the Nine Realms. They had nothing to do with seeing Sigyn again, of course not. Still, there was a little skip in his step when he and Frigga made way to the Bifrost chamber.

As in all the realms, Vanaheim had a special landing site for the Bifrost. It was very similar to the Alfheim one, except the stones that made the circle were blue. A wide stone road led out to the capitol, while other smaller dirt pathways led out to several shrines. Loki knew these were teleporting spots, portals that connected Vanaheim to other realms besides Asgard. Loki made way to the white Alfheim shrine to wait for Sigyn. His fingers traced the white stone, covered in familiar leaf patterns, and smiled to himself. His nostalgia was interrupted by a bright silver flash coming from the inside of the shrine.

Loki straightened himself and stood by the door and waited for Sigyn to come out. And what a vision she was. Her linen and silk dress was several shades of green, with golden leaves embroidered on the fabric that shimmered in the midday sun, making it look as if the light was going through the foliage of a tree. The golden and white sash on her waist was modeled after branches, and matched the design of the tiara on her head. Blue, red and yellow jewels embedded in the metal resembled little flowers.

Rendered temporarily speechless, Loki shook his head. In an attempt to get rid of the awkward atmosphere, he bowed theatrically, taking Sigyn’s hand and kissing it.

“Your majesty.” Loki chuckled.

“Your highness.” Sigyn bowed as well, trying to stifle a laugh. “What’s with the antlers?”

“Har-har,” Loki said, unamused. “Ceremonial regalia. It’s supposed to be intimidating, I think. I plan to get rid of it as soon as I’m allowed.” Sigyn’s face was red, and her lips pressed in a tight line as she tried not to giggle. “Laugh now, get it out of your system unless you want to enter the Realm looking like a strawberry,” he teased, rolling his eyes.

“I’m sorry!!” She broke down in hysterics, holding Loki’s arm to steady herself. “I’m sorry…” Finally she took a deep breath. “I’m fine now.” Loki stared blankly at her, and Sigyn broke down laughing again, unsuccessfully apologizing.

Loki shook his head a took a deep breath, smiling despite of himself while he waited for Sigyn to stop. She had tears in her eyes when the fit finally subsided.

“Okay, I am fine now. We can go.” Sigyn smiled at him.

He smiled back offering his arm for her to grab it. “You look beautiful.”

Loki and Sigyn were led into a carriage that transported them to the castle. Conversation was light and amenable, and Loki felt like he was floating on air sitting next to Sigyn again, becoming aware every few minutes that she had grown in his absence and blushing at this observation. Sigyn gently placed her hand over his as they approached the castle, openly gaping at the sight of the carved crystal palace.

Clearly Asgard doesn’t have the monopoly on gaudy castles, Loki mused, both amused and impressed at the Vanir capitol. The entire entryway was a giant blue crystal that thrust toward the sky like a beacon, its edges perfect and straight. At the tip of the crystal was a smaller but no less impressive crystal that Loki assumed was a massive diamond, by the way it refracted the natural sunlight into sparkling rainbows everywhere the light touched. Even the stone pathway leading to the castle glittered with every shift of the light.

“Look at it,” Sigyn breathed, her free hand resting on her chest in awe. “I haven’t been here since I was a child and the beauty of the castle still arrests me.”

The carriage stopped in front of the castle door and a servant assisted both of them out onto the front steps, bowing low and gesturing widely toward the open door to invite them in. Loki offered his arm to Sigyn and she gracefully placed her hand on his forearm, giving it a reassuring stroke with her thumb.

Already the front part of the castle was full to capacity with guests from other realms. Loki recognized a few members of nobility from Alfheim and Asgard and cringed inwardly. He was expected to play the part of the royal representative but he wasn’t exactly looking forward to it. Politely greeting people along the way as they bowed their heads to him, Loki led Sigyn through the throng and past the crystal door frame and heavy white amethyst doors leading into the throne room.

Loki had learned in his studies that Asgard was unique in its showcasing of ceremonial events, so he knew that no one would see the newlyweds until after their vows, since the Vanir preferred privacy for their weddings. The party would take place later. There were only a few people in the throne room aside from himself and Sigyn, and he could hear muffled voices in an adjoining room, where he assumed the happy couple were tying the knot right then.

The throne room itself was just as grand as the rest of the castle they had seen so far, nearly every surface all gleaming crystal and perfect edges. It was almost disorienting to the eye, the stark contrast between the sharp lines of the room and the organic curves of the people in it. The ceiling sloped up into a point and the blue crystal caused the room to be bathed in blue light that made one feel as though the room was underwater. Perched atop a white crystal dais, the throne itself was carved from several slabs of gold-laced white quartz. It was the only cushioned surface in the room, as the King likely spent a fair amount of time sitting on it. While beautiful, it was a kind of cold beauty that Loki found rather abrasive compared to the lush and green lands he had grown up in.

Sigyn’s hand squeezed Loki’s arm and he turned to see her practically jumping up and down with excitement after seeing someone. She looked up at Loki with a smile before bounding off to greet a woman Loki recognized as her mother’s sister. He had met her a few times during his stay in Alfheim and knew she and Sigyn had a close bond.

Excited chatter began to filter from the ceremonial chambers and Loki supposed it was nearly time for the couple to make their entrance. As if on cue, more and more guests came from the foyer to mingle, and Loki suddenly felt as though the air was getting thicker by the second. Whether it was the dense group of people, or the flickering blue light that filled the room as the sun raised higher in the sky and which reminded him of his dreams, he could feel a chill brewing in his chest and he had to get out of there quickly before he made a scene.

As subtly as he could, Loki slipped through the crowd as the new Vanir Prince and Princess emerged amidst loud cheering from the ceremonial chambers, followed by the King and Queen and a High Priestess. His fingertips tingled with cold and he gasped for breath when he finally found a second door that led out to a balcony overlooking the castle gardens. Quietly he approached the railing and closed his eyes, focusing on the sound of the river below. Surely no one would notice him gone, even with the conspicuous absence of the ridiculous horns he had to wear.

Loki leaned on the railing and willed his breathing to slow and tried to ignore the clamor of voices insides. His eyes flew open in surprise when he felt a hand grasping his. Standing there patiently, her hair and skirt blowing gently in the breeze, was Sigyn, her soft brown eyes full of concern. She stroked his hand with her thumb and he couldn’t help but smile.

“Are you okay?” Sigyn meant it sincerely, and took his other hand in hers. “Want me to go back in with you?”

Loki considered this for a moment, and shook his head. “Not yet,” he murmured. “Just stay here with me.”

Sigyn returned his smile and leaned against his shoulder, still holding his hands. It felt like the most natural thing in the world, and Loki could sense his tension evaporating more as he moved his hands to pull her closer. Warmed by the sun, Sigyn’s hair smelled like roses, and the scent reminded him of all the time they spent together in Alfheim, the bond they shared, and the future he hoped to share with her.

“I nearly forgot,” Loki mumbled, freeing one hand to dig in his leather pockets. “I have something for you.” Finally he found it, and pulled it out for Sigyn to see. A quiet gasp was all Sigyn could muster when she saw the thin but elegant gold ring, the design made of intricate knots interwoven with branches and leaves.

“I promised you a real engagement ring, remember?”

Sigyn nodded wordlessly, her mouth still hanging open, eyes misting over. She held up her left hand and Loki was touched to see the original ring he had given her, a gold band from one of his braids that was covered in scuffs and scratches. He replaced it with the new ring, which fit perfectly and would last longer, and Sigyn grinned wide and stood up on her toes to press her lips to his. The sudden kiss surprised Loki but he held her like that for a few extra seconds before she took a step back to admire the ring.

Her smile vanished, however, when she looked past Loki toward the door.

“Erik.”

<< Chapter 16 – Chapter 18 >>

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