#if you haven't got the picture book yet it's definitely worth it
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MIRRORMASK BRAINROT
Who else up for a day of strapping wheels to the bottoms of our feet and just rolling around
#if you haven't got the picture book yet it's definitely worth it#when I got mine it turned out to be signed#and I'm pretty sure it's an actual signature because there's pen spatter on the other side of the cover where it's been closed#and it only cost me £3.68#so I don't know what the story there is but it feels like there's something
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hi!!
I hope this isn't too annoying - and if it is feel free to just delete this - but I was wondering if I could ask you about Aemond? I'm very much losing my current hyperfixation and I was looking around for another blorbo to put in a little glass jar and set on my blorbo collecting shelf to obsess over. and I came across your writing for Aemond (which is incredible btw) and I also saw some images of him from the show and I was definitely looking ~respectfully~ 😳
the only problem is that I don't have hbo max, and then I was wondering if it would be worth it to do like the free trial to watch house of the dragon? gosh is this just like completely unhinged?? I feel like I'm blorbo shopping or something - maybe I am just totally out of my mind at this point 😭 but I guess would you recommend watching the show for Aemond? what are the qualities that drew you to him as a character?
okay I'll stop now before I come across as unhinged and crazy beyond any hope of saving, but I would love to hear any Aemond thoughts you have to share! (and also I cannot wait to read more of your writing for him!!)
thank you so much and sorry again if this is super obnoxious! your work is amazing!!
Hey!! omg no this isn't weird or annoying at all. I'm very flattered and happy that you decided to come chat to me about it! (and thank you for reading my works, I really appreciate it!) Also, long ass answer ahead.
I'd never been interested in Game of Thrones before, at all. And at first, when HOTD came out I was just absorbing it through gifs and didn't think much of it. When Aemond came on the show and I started seeing pictures and gifsets of him, I was immediately intrigued, and super attracted to him. The more I saw his face on my dash, the more I wanted to watch the show but I was reluctant because I thought I wouldn't get it at all, without watching GOT previously. Then besties on here assured me it would be fine because it's a prequel, and that I would enjoy it without having much context other than it being a show about a very disfunctional family - and it has dragons! so I did, and let me tell you I was HOOKED. PROPERLY HOOKED ON THE PREMISE AND CHARACTERS AND EVERYTHING. So in my opinion it is definitely worth getting a trial if you're considering it, it's an amazing show!!
Knowing Aemond now (show Aemond that is, I still haven't gotten around to reading the books, and at first I wasn't going to, but because I'm so obsessed I'm thinking I might finally just dive into them. What I know about book!Aemond is what I've gathered from going through the wiki and reading posts on here), I love him because on some layer I can relate to him. Especially on that line where he says, 'TIS I the younger brother who studies history and philosophy...TIS I who should be (king)'. Also what happens to him is very tragic, and the fact that that drove him to make himself a machine is fascinating to see. Love me some good, 'transforming myself out of spite and to seek revenge' arcs in my fictional dudes. Also, his kind of silent yet deadly demeanor really speaks to me. I was imagining his voice to be just something else entirely, was picturing him as being more of a straightforward villain when I saw him in pictures, and I was really struck when he finally spoke. His voice is super collected and tender, a total contrast to his looming exterior. That contrast is just, ughhh, *cheff's kiss*. He's in a scene and you just know he's got all this energy contained, brewing under the surface until the right moment to snap. The fact that he just has one eye doesn't take anything away at all from the immense intensity of his gaze. The scenes where he's fighting - dear lord - he's so agile and brutal, and it's amazing that the actor did it all with one eye. And also just...Ewan Mitchell is crazy hot lmao, and his acting really stood out to me on the show. I thought his performance was incredibly nuanced. He doesn't have as much screen time in this season, but I feel like despite that, he definitely stole the show.
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hi guys, it is is Thursday Again Somewhere so have a weekly roundup!
If you like that sort of thing.
Visiting
Went to my first movie in Vegas, cross-ref below. Theatre was eerily clean and shiny compared to godforsaken New England chains that haven't had new seat upholstery since 1972.
Cooking
Does a packet of poke tuna eaten raw count as cooking...well, no, I suppose it can't by definition. In my defense the Indian supermarket down the way has some nice freezer kormas.
Listening
youtube
For various reasons, I've spent a certain amount of time this week pondering my brief, unrequited love affair with Toronto . The main theme for a Canadian-produced viddy game that started life as "Fallout but realistic" was not precisely related to this, but it still slaps.
Reading
Part of said Canadian lusting involved my stumbling across Faded Page, a sort of Canadian ebook Gutenberg website with the notable advantage of being small enough to browse. Forty pages of Mervyn Peake's poetry was a surprise gem, and some of those lines will haunt me. Especially the one about grottoes.
Watching
Was invited to the pictures. Saw an hour and a half or so of "The Woman King" before becoming violently sick. This was not the movie's fault, and if you'd like to see a slightly less fictional version of Black Panther with a guy cosplaying as Lin-Manuel Miranda, it's engrossing.
(Actually the thing it most had in common with BP wasn't even the female warriors or the unshakeable king, but the careful sense of world building where every single detail of the scenery and extras and props seemed deeply considered, and I dote on that in a movie.)
Writing
well I wrote this lol
Hum. See, last time I tried doing Thursday roundups it was a year ago, I was rounding off my Fallout sagas and figuring it was time to Work On That Damn Novel already. A great deal of my self worth stemmed from regarding myself as a writer.
I then promptly gave up and got a job at a soup factory, the first of a number of deeply Weird Things when my life started getting more interesting than my fic.
So. Uh. It's a year later, I've got several other satisfying sources of self worth, and I haven't done any writing worth speaking of except for a couple of fic swaps.
I mean I'm pretty sure I did some DW fanfic today but I was not sober att
...where is this going? I have no idea, but I'm unwilling to give up on this section yet.
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Gimme more.
Where were your parents born?
My Mum was born in Scotland and my Dad in NZ.
Have you ever used public transportation to get to work?
Yep, most of the time. The only I don't is the rare time my boyfriend drops me off.
Who in your family has the coolest job?
Not sure tbh.
Have you found your first gray hairs yet?
No.
What is your favorite food to put gravy on?
Potatoes xD
Do you know anyone from Canada?
I know a few people online from there.
What’s your opinion on astrology?
It's fun, but I don't take it that seriously.
Do you use TikTok?
No.
Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?
Good lord no.
Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?
I have equal amounts of both as friends.
Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Depends.
Can you drive a stick shift?
No.
Do you care if people talk badly about you?
Not really, but I guess it depends on who it is.
Are you going out of town soon?
I wish.
Does anyone hate you?
I hope not, but who knows.
Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?
No, unless my boyfriend changes his mind and proposes LOL.
Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?
Yep.
What’s the best part about school?
-
Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?
Thousands lol.
Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?
I did all the time in intermediate school, by the end of one year I had an entire bag full of them lol.
Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?
Yep, he is. It's my boyfriend hehe xD
Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
Definitely, I'm close to both of them.
How do you want to die?
Old age.
When was your last physical fight?
The closest I've been to a fight is slapping some dude at a club who wouldn't stop harassing me once lol.
Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?
Yep.
Ever made out in the bathroom?
Probably.
Are you scared of spiders?
YES.
What is/are/were your best subject(s)?
Computers/IT, Legal Studies and English.
Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
Probably.
Do you have trust issues?
It depends.
Favourite food?
Mac & cheese.
Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
I hope not, cos then why did I get hit by a car and break my shoulder?
Is cheating ever okay?
I cheat on video games, but that's it LOL.
What makes you happy?
Lots of stuff.
Is there anyone you would die for?
Hmm...
What’s the best news you’ve gotten lately?
Not sure, but it's not like things have been going wrong lol.
^And, the worst?
Hmm.
Do you like getting dressed up?
Sure.
Would you be embarrassed to find out you snored loudly in public?
Probably, but I know I don't snore, cos my boyfriend has never said that I do lol.
Are you reading any books at the moment?
Yep - Reach For The Stars, it's about British pop groups of the 90s and 00s. It's so good.
When was the last time you had a tick on you?
Never?
Have you been to the Grand Canyon?
I have! It's breathtaking and totally worth the trip. We went on a tour thing and they included lunch cooked by the Native Americans who reside there, it was so cool. It's a super long drive from Las Vegas (where we were staying) though, we had to get up at 4am lol.
Do you like grapes or raisins better?
I love them both!
What is the picture on the desktop on the computer you’re using?
It's a photo of The Shield from Super Showdown in 2018 where they're in masks. It's been my desktop pic since then, I haven't changed it in over 5 years, it even followed me between laptops, I got a new one and immediately put it as the pic xD I can't change it at this point, it would be too weird.
Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?
No.
Do you believe in ghosts?
Maybe? I need proof.
Would you ever stay overnight in a haunted house?
Oh yeah probably.
When was the last time you had an injection? What for?
Covid vaccine booster.
Is there anything you cannot wait to be over?
Dunno.
What was the last thing you had done at the dentist?
Cleaning.
Does your best girlfriend have any talents that you don’t?
She can drive, I can't lol.
What color eyes does the last person you kissed have?
Blue.
Did your parents ever read stories to you before bed?
Yep.
What are you listening to?
Scribe - Stand Up (a NZ hip hop artist, this song has the best instrumental)
Do you like hickeys?
Haha not really.
Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?
No, I'm still in love with him lol.
Do you have any summer plans yet?
Our summer just ended.
Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?
Oh yep.
Are most of your friends guys or girls?
Both about equal cos I have loads of wrestling friends who are mostly male, but I also have lots of female friends from school and that.
Who do you text the most?
My boyfriend.
Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?
My boyfriend has two grown up sons haha, so I have to say yes. One of them is only 5 years younger than I am! LOL.
Do you miss your last sweetie?
Not at all.
Would you rather be anorexic or obese?
Neither, thanks.
Do you know anyone who is pregnant right now?
No.
What’s your favorite alcoholic beverage?
Jim Beam, Malibu or Long Island iced tea.
Do you play any games on your phone?
Pokemon Sleep, Pokemon Go and BitLife. I've played both Go and Sleep since day 1.
Have you ever shaved your face?
I use tweezers to get any stray hairs lol.
What was the last vaccination you got?
Covid.
Do you have a brother?
No.
Would you ever have a bird as a pet?
No.
Have you ever had to speak at a funeral?
No.
When was the last time you saw your father?
Last night, he picked me up from the Five concert. Usually I'd ask my boyfriend to do it but he was hanging out with his son, so my Dad did it instead.
Any time when you need to search something on the Internet, which search engine do you use?
Google.
Do you believe in saving your virginity for marriage or no?
LOL, I don't want to get married, so obviously not.
When you open your web browser, what is your home page set to? Why did you select this?
I have it set to reopen my tabs from last time.
Have you ever accidentally sent the wrong smiley?
Definitely.
Are you more likely to go drive-thru or actually walk in to get fast food?
Walk in, cos I don't have a car. Even when I'm with people in a car, we still go in.
How many times have you had a nosebleed?
I have no idea.
If you were to make a lot of noise right now, would you wake anyone up?
No, it's 9pm lol.
Do you need to have a shower right now?
No, I showered this morning.
How many vowels are in your middle name?
Two A's.
Do you have all of the vowels in your full name?
No, I'm mising U cos I have A, E, I and O.
Are you currently crushing on anyone?
Yep.
How do you feel right now?
I'm pretty good, cos the headache I had earlier today is mostly gone now.
Do you talk in your sleep that you know of?
No.
Have you ever been on a road trip of more than 10 hours?
No.
Are you waiting for anything right now?
A few things.
How far away is the nearest KFC?
About 10 min drive, it's up by the train station.
Do you use reusable bags when you go grocery shopping?
Yep.
Have you ever met someone online and then met them in person?
Oh yeah, quite a few people.
Do you tend to wake up in a different position you fell asleep in?
Yep.
What does your perfume or cologne smell like?
I don't wear it.
Is there a bookshelf in your bedroom?
I have a bookcase.
Have you ever seen Flight of the Conchords?
No, which is funny cos they're Kiwis xD
How many hours away is the next sunset?
The sun only set about an hour ago, so about... 23 hours? LOL.
What was the last flavour of ice cream you ate?
Chocolate.
Do you want to move out of your current house any time soon? Why or why not?
No, I like my house!
Are there a lot of noisy birds around your house?
Sometimes haha, cos there's loads of trees.
Have you been to a fancy restaurant in the past year?
I'd say Porterhouse Grill is fancy cos it's expensive haha, I was there in January.
How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?
I never learnt.
Do you follow recipes carefully or just skim over quickly?
I don't cook.
What colour are your favourite cousin’s eyes?
Dunno.
Have you ever nearly fallen asleep behind the wheel of a car?
I don't drive.
Are you hungry right now?
Yes.
Do bugs bother you or not?
They definitely bother me.
When was the last time you played a board game? Who did you play with?
I go to a games night every 2 weeks with my friend David, a whole bunch of us play board games. So 2 weeks ago cos the next games night is tomorrow xD
Don’t you hate having to call banks and insurance companies?
Most of my banking stuff is done online now.
Do you know anyone named Harley?
No.
Are there any dints or scratches on your car?
-
What’s your favourite place to shop for bras and underwear?
Kmart, Warehouse, Bendon etc.
Have you ever thrown someone’s stuff away on purpose?
No.
Do you have any cool or cute keychains?
I have two on my bag - a Seth Rollins logo one and a little Converse sneaker haha. On my keyring I have a NYC one and one from the Grand Canyon with my name on it.
Is your mailing address different than your residential address?
No.
Are there any farms near your house? What animals do they have?
I live in the suburbs, so no, no farms.
Do you ever write in cursive?
I don't even know how to.
Have you ever had a computer virus before?
Most likely. I used to download loads of random shit from Limewire and Kazaa, it could get dodgy.
Are you dependent upon anyone?
I try not to be.
Are there any book characters you’d like to portray?
Dunno.
Who did you last text?
David, we were confirming games night tomorrow.
Is there anything on your bed right now?
All my plushies, my handbag (which I meant to put on the floor, I'll do it when I next get up), a book, a magazine and my hairbrush.
When was the last time you went to the grocery store?
Saturday.
What way would you like to die when it’s your time?
Old age.
What are you most afraid of in the world?
Spiders.
Have you ever been caving?
No.
Do you do well in math related things?
I have that dyscalculia thing, I'm pretty sure. My Maths skills are absolutely horrendous.
What is your favorite fruit?
Banana or apple.
If you had to choose, which sibling would you live with?
I'm an only child.
Do you have any tattoos?
No.
Are you planning on getting any in the near future?
Probably not.
When was your last date?
A few weeks back.
When did you get Facebook?
2010, I think?
Are any of your family members in jail?
No.
What was your first pet’s name?
Piglet.
Are there any people at your job who absolutely hates you?
I don't think so, our team is small and everyone is chill with each other.
What was the last book you read?
Reach For The Stars.
Have you ever read any books in one day?
Yes. Used to do that all the time as a kid.
What was the last thing you bought?
Some fries from Burger King, lol. Before that, it was a flag banner thing at the Five concert.
What are your plans for tomorrow?
My Mum and I are going to Botany to shop and have lunch, then later on I'm going with David to games night. Damn, just realised I won't have time to see my boyfriend tomorrow :/
Is there any jewelry you wear constantly?
Yes - my Pandora charm bracelet and my rings.
Are your fingernails painted at the moment?
No.
Do you prefer cool, warm or neutral colors?
All of them.
Have you ever taken art classes?
Only when I was forced to at school.
What’s the most boring movie you’ve ever seen?
Dunno.
Do you know how to work a cash register?
Not really.
Fact or fiction novels?
Fiction.
Have you ever suffered from depression?
I don't think so. I've been sad, but not depressed.
Do you think you’re a clingy person?
I can be, my boyfriend jokes that I am but I'm really not xD
Have you ever been in a physical fight before?
Kinda, I've slapped a few people. One of them was another girl and she slapped me back LOL.
How often would you say you disagree with your parents?
We disagree on occasion.
What color shirt did you wear yesterday?
I wore a playsuit lol. But today I'm wearing a black Mox shirt.
Do you have a job?
Yes.
If so, do you like it?
Yes.
Have you ever been called a slut before?
Yes lol, both welcomed and unwelcomed.
What’s something you’ve been craving?
KFC lol, even though I had it last week.
Have you ever slept with your window open?
Used to all the time in the last house I lived in, but I can't do it here cos my room faces the main highway so it's way too noisy.
Can you play violin?
No.
What was the last desert you had?
A chocolate ice block thing.
Have you ever had a wild animal as a pet?
No.
Do you know anyone you talk to on Facebook but won’t talk to in person?
Well yes, cos we've never met lol.
What color are your mother’s eyes?
Brown.
Do you have a best friend?
Yes.
If so, how long have you been best friends?
Since 2002, so almost 22 years now.
Do you cry easily?
Depends.
Have you ever been into a court room?
Yes, I've served on juries 3 times.
How many necklaces would you say you own?
None.
Do you plan on being strict towards your children?
I don't want kids.
Do you own any tie-dye shirts?
No.
What would you say is your favorite day of the week?
Probably Saturday, but Friday is good too.
Do you ever wear lipstick?
No.
Do you own a pool?
Haha no.
Do you have a Tumblr account?
Yes lol, I'm using it right now :P
Would you say you’re overweight?
No, but I do need to lose a bit of stomach fat.
How many colors are in your hair?
Three technically - blue, purple and my regrowth which is dark haha.
Do you flirt with a lot of people?
No, only my boyfriend xD
Have you ever been falsely accused of starting drama?
Yes.
How old are you?
36.
Do you attend church regularly?
No.
Have you ever found a song that describes your whole life?
Dunno.
What time did you wake up this morning?
I got up at 7am, but I'd been awake since about 5:30 cos I wasn't feeling well.
What time do you plan on waking up tomorrow morning?
8:30 or so.
What kind of car do you drive?
No car.
What kind of car would you like to have?
Dunno.
Have you ever been to Dairy Queen?
No.
If so, what’s your favorite thing to eat from there?
-
How old did you turn on your last birthday?
36.
Ever felt like falling apart?
No.
Have you ever been in an ambulance?
Yes.
Do you tend to worry a lot?
Not a lot, but some.
How old were you when you lost your first tooth?
Pffft, not sure.
Do you remember your first time on the internet?
Not really haha, I have no clue what sites I even went to.
Which website do you email from?
Hotmail/Outlook. It's technically Outlook but I have a grandfathered in Hotmail address cos my email was registered in 2001, I got to keep it. I also have a Gmail I use for 'professional' work stuff lol.
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I moved.
There are little bits of me scattered across state lines.
Pieces of the skin from my fingers as I anxiety picked my way into this tiny studio.
Alone. For the first time in my life.
Over days and weeks I have unpacked the clothes, the books, the wall art, the kitchen shit
And yet
I'm dragging ass on the desk stuff.
Because when I unpacked the clothes I found the things I bought and showed you. I found a wool lint ball that was caught in the hood of one of my jackets that I never meant to take with me. Considered sending it to your house. Still haven't decided.
When I unpacked the books, I found the series we were reading together. I found others we discussed but never got a chance to start.
When I unpacked the wall art, I found the pieces you gave me. I found the ones you hung on your wall.
When I unpacked the kitchen shit I found all the things you gifted me because you knew that I would need them just exactly right now.
I cried with every finding. Small weeping pauses.
And I knew that unpacking the desk would probably reduce me to a puddle on the floor.
It does.
On the floor amid piles of paper; staring at pictures of us and notes you wrote me that I never threw away, I am openly sobbing. Enough to cause an asthma attack. Enough to make me wonder just how much I have to lose in order to find myself. Enough to make me wonder if having a best friend is worth this profound level of grief when things end. Enough to make me need a break.
I haven't eaten today.
I stopped eating almost entirely that last few weeks in your house.
Terrified and angry and indignant and questioning everything.
And I've not yet stopped being all of those things.
I feel...expendable. Not just to you. To a lot of people, though not everyone. I know that I am not.
But I FEEL expendable. As though nothing will ever explain this loss of over a decade of what I thought was true connection.
Did it start to fray toward the end there? Every one of my absolute flaws making it impossible to be loved by you and yours anymore?
Eventually, it will not hurt this much. I know this, and it almost makes me sadder because I do not ever want you to mean less to me.
And you've got your own reasons, your own story, your own thoughts and feelings. They are all valid.
These are just mine.
I am an asshole.
I have been told that I ruin things sometimes, and I don't think I'll ever be able to forget that.
I still love you.
I wish that shit wasn't...this.
It feels like a piss-poor ending to a relationship that I have always found stunningly beautiful.
You are and always have been the only person I have let see me who didn't want to run away. Until you did.
And that's ok because you never owed me anything. I was fortunate for the years that I got.
I love you.
I am sorry for everything.
And also...I'm not fucking sorry at all.
I AM sorry for causing chaos with the people you love most.
I AM sorry for being so scared of losing you that I stopped speaking to you.
I am not sorry for being who I am and for learning to live authentically.
I love you.
And that's definitely my problem, not yours.
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Interests changing and evolving is so weird. Normally whenever I go to sleep, I have to think about something while I try to fall asleep (even if it takes me less than 1 minute to actually fall asleep) and usually I have absolutely nothing to think about but fanfic scenarios. But not for a few weeks, I haven't find any of those scenarios motivating at all. Everything is the same over and over again, very boring stuff, stuff I have already seen so many times and I just have no interest in watching those "videos" yet again.
Now I have also been thinking about my fanfics, and what that means in regards of them. I feel like it's been ages since I have updated any of my fanfics, but my calendar tells me it's actually been less than 2 weeks. Anyway, I feel like not even my fanfics are doing it to me anymore. Long time ago I stopped reading fanfics because I couldn't find what I wanted to read, and I kept writing myself. Now I feel like there's no point in writing, because I don't need that text anymore? I bet it has again something to do with me being aroace. My texts has gotten more and more into the QPR direction, and I literally don't know what else to write about, and now I feel even less and less like writing fluff. I don't even feel like imagining fluff scenarios anymore. I can't see them properly either anymore. And I'm left with friendship scenarios, which are so boring to me, that it makes no sense. I mean, I have a hard time finding stuff for myself to do, even more so for me and friends, so it's even harder to come up with stuff characters in a story could do. What is there that you can write about movies or books? Not much, unless you go into details of one, which is not the point of a fanfiction (or any fiction) because it's not about those stories.
I haven't drawn much anything either. I did a shitton of shippy doodles and comics but I either got an overdose of those or just fulfilled the need for fluffy pictures, and now I don't have any of that either. I sometimes feel like asking for doodle prompts, but then don't do so because it'd be the same prompts again and I'm bored. I want something new and different. Fortunately, with these this is possible. My comics and doodles are supposed to be funny and make people smile and laugh. I'd love to have that with fanfics too, but I'm unable to do so because I can't come up with any plot to wrap inside humour.
Anyhow, I don't know what this means. Maybe it's just autumn approaching and I will get a random inspiration and hyperfocus on a fanfic sooner or later. But might also be that I won't do so. Right now, I have no interest in my fanfics. Tomorrow? Who knows. I don't know how my interests work. They come and go constantly, sometimes they go and never come back. 10 years ago this happened with fanfics and I thought I grew out of them for good, but then it came back 5 years later.
In a way I think I'm again looking for some change and new things to do. My school continues soon and the year will be very busy one, but at least it's other stuff to think about and doing things I've never done before. It's what keeps me feeling like I'm alive. With drawing I will continue with my comics, just don't know to which direction. I also think I need to get back to coloured pencil drawings, it's still a challenge and a medium I've yet to conquer. Just like watercolour too, I want to test some things at some point. And I love markers, I definitely need to get myself some more of these, I'd love trying to do a realistic but coloured portrait with them, as so far I have just been doing b&w ones (because I don't have enough colours yet for a coloured drawing). They just are so expensive, and I'm trying to figure out if that one really recommended cheaper brand would be worth buying or not. I just want to know if they smell stronger or the same/less as Promarkers, cos Copics are or used to be way too strong for me and I can't use markers with too strong odour.
But yeah. No idea what I'm gonna do with my fanfics. Rn they just feel like absolutely nothing to me. None of the events in them make me feel anything at all. So I guess they're on a hold for now, unless my adhd decides otherwise. Which can happen in a matter of days, or years, or then never.
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Hi MM/Bee! I'm a recent college graduate. I always worked hard in school and I matured a lot at college, but I'm realizing how low my self-esteem is. I'm obsessing over the things I haven't done/accomplished, scholarships I never applied for, my body image, my high school days, "not being as successful as my high school class", an old crush who I never talked to (who is already super successful), and some days I feel like I messed up my life beyond repair. How do I work on self-love? Thank you!
For starters, I think it’s important for you to know that you aren’t the only person feeling this way. I get similar questions all the time, often from people who aren’t even out of their 20s yet. It isn’t even remotely true that you need to achieve wild success by age 25 or you’ve wasted your life, but I can understand why so many people feel that way.
Our culture is dangerously obsessed with productivity, youth and achievement, to the point that it is actively making all of our lives miserable. It’s not hard to understand where people get this idea that they’re failing in life if they aren’t a 20-something well-travelled millionaire - that is the message our culture throws in our faces all the time - and it’s so unbelievably untrue. We compile “top 30 under 30″ lists, celebrate incredibly young performers and entertainers, and hold up extremely high-achieving lifestyles as something that every one of us needs to be striving for, but we don’t - there is no timeline for “success”, there is no one true definition of success, and people will take wildly different paths in life to arrive at the same set of goals. What you think of as your failure is not actually your failure - it’s a cultural failure that so many of us fall victim to.
I think it’s also important to remember that you haven’t messed up your life beyond repair: you’ve barely started your life yet. Your college years are supposed to be a time of growing and maturing, and that maturation doesn’t end the moment you cross the stage - you���re going to continue to learn and change and grow throughout your lifespan. And growth means you are always going to mess some stuff up - that’s how we grow. All of us have to make mistakes in this life, and all of us have to prioritize rest sometimes; there are always going to be tests we don’t do so great on, social situations we flub, scholarships we don’t apply for, crushes we don’t confess to, deadlines we miss, relationships we let fall apart and goals we don’t achieve. Nobody speedruns life with 100% completion. And that’s okay. Those missteps and mistakes are what teach us to do better next time, or they give us the time to rest and gather energy for the next goal we want to work toward.
Of course, learning to accept yourself and let go of cultural conditioning is easier said than done. For many of us, it’s a lifelong journey, if not the overarching theme of our lives. I wish there was a simple way to achieve it. I do, however, have some tips that can help you get there:
Unplug from productivity and self-improvement culture. Going online and seeing “Shakespeare wrote King Lear in quarantine, here’s how to maximize your quarantine time” and “here’s how I became a millionaire by age 22″ is not actually that motivating - in all likelihood, it’ll just make you feel bad about yourself. The internet is an absolute firehose of content about how you can do more, achieve more, squeeze more out of your day, and it’s completely overwhelming; honestly, most of us feel better when we stop pointing that firehose straight at our own face. It’s easier to believe that you are enough when you stop consuming content that tells you that you aren’t. Self-improvement culture looks positive on the surface, but we aren’t actually making ourselves better people by obsessing over our work and productivity - we’re just making ourselves miserable.
Ask yourself “who benefits from making me feel bad about myself?” It’s not a coincidence that we’ve built a culture obsessed with youth and productivity - that culture is making a lot of people very, very rich. Whenever you can be convinced that you aren’t thin enough, not pretty enough, not good enough, you can be convinced to run out and buy things that might fix the problem. That’s how we ended up with a $10 billion dollar self-improvement industry and a $532 billion dollar beauty industry. Content people are harder to sell to. Of course, knowing that people are profiting off your insecurities doesn’t magically make the insecurities go away - but it’s important to start thinking critically and asking yourself “where do my insecurities come from? Is there really something wrong with me, or is someone profiting from making people like me feel this way?”
Do things that make you happy, just for the sake of doing them. Paint a picture. Plant a garden. Learn to play the mandolin. Read cheesy romance novels. Find some things that you enjoy doing just for you - things that you don’t need to maximize, monetize or optimize. You don’t even need to be good at them. If you enjoy doing it, have at it. So many of us are encouraged to suck the joy out of our hobbies by turning them into a “side hustle” or another regimented form of self-improvement. Find some activities that just make your life better and do them, just for the sake of doing them.
Examine the role of social media in your life. Most of us don’t post a complete, unedited view of our lives on social media - we just post the highlights and keep the tough stuff - the rejections, the times we got ghosted, the bad hair days - to ourselves. And even if you know that cognitively, it still sucks to log onto social media when you’re having a “blah” week and find yourself bombarded with other people’s engagement announcements, med school acceptances, wedding pictures and photos of the new homes people just bought. Social media forces you to compare your “average” to everyone else’s “best”, all the time. And the numbers don’t help - social media lets you do an exact comparison of how many followers and likes you have compared to someone else, and seeing someone get more positive feedback than you can sting. Working on self-love means taking a hard look at the impact social media is having on your self-esteem. How much of your time do you spend on social media? How do you feel after you use social media? Are you following accounts that make you feel better about yourself, or worse? Do you ever feel bad about the number of likes or followers you have? Do you feel like your time on social media is wasted? Do you follow accounts that make you feel better about yourself, or worse? Stepping away from social media for your mental health is an important move for some people - you can still be happy for your friends and loved ones while acknowledging that it’s not good for you to have their achievements broadcast to you 24/7.
Surround yourself with good, supportive people. If you find that your circle of friends tends to diminish each other’s achievements, be overly critical of each other or go out of their way to one-up each other, that’s probably not a circle of friends that’s going to be good for you in the long run. Find people who are genuinely happy for you, and make you feel supported and loved for who you are. If that means you need to branch out of your current social circles, that’s okay - you can find great friends in surprising places, and it’s worth the initial awkwardness of getting to know a new person.
Challenge your definition of “success”. Success does not have to look like a high-paying job and a giant house and expensive cars and 2.5 honour roll children. It certainly can look that way, if you feel that those are meaningful goals for you, but it doesn’t have to look that way. A doctor is not necessarily “more successful” than a poet, and a lawyer is not necessarily “more successful” than a stay-at-home parent. The only person who gets to define what a “successful” life looks like is you. It takes time to unlearn the social conditioning that “money and prestige = success”, but it can be done. Success looks different for all of us.
Set goals that are personally meaningful to you. It’s important for all of us to think critically about what we want, and it’s even more important to think critically about why we want it. Do we want that degree program or that accomplishment or that job because it aligns with our interests? To impress others? To prove someone wrong? Or because we feel like we’re supposed to want it? Try to focus your energy on the goals that you want, that are personally meaningful to you. If that’s law school, great. If that’s selling homemade jam at the farmer’s market, that is equally great.
Remember that success does not have a deadline. I know this is very hard to believe in your early twenties, but your dreams do not shrivel up and blow away the day you turn 30. Life doesn’t end when your 20s are over. You haven’t missed your shot, and you don’t have to figure everything out right now. Growth and achievement are lifelong journeys - people find their dream jobs, accomplish their goals, finish degrees and meet the love of their life in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond. The best book I read this year was “Where the Crawdads Sing” a novel that spent 32 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list. It also happened to be the author’s first novel, and it came out when she was sixty-nine years old. Your dreams do not have an expiration date.
Capture the joy and positivity in your life. I think one of the most important ways to feel better about your life is to spend more time focusing on all the good things in your life, rather than focusing on all the ways you could be better. Rather than fixating on whether you could have applied for more scholarships or turned that B+ into an A-, spend more time reflecting on the happy memories you have of your time in college. Again, this isn’t something that will happen overnight - it’s a learned skill that you need to consciously work on. Interrupt yourself when you are starting to fixate on things you could have done better, and make yourself list out three things you enjoyed about college. Connect with old college friends you haven’t heard from in a while. Try to take more notice of good things in your life as they happen to you - take more pictures, keep a journal, make collages, start a scrapbook, keep a box of momentos. You don’t need to have a perfect life to be happy; it’s okay to work on being happy with the life you have.
Best of luck to you!
MM
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Photogenic
A/N: Another talented writer asked me to do a Dominic Wright FF so here it is. I’m matched with his counterpart so I based him on Adam I just hope it have done it well. This might be a one shot piece or I might continue I’m not sure yet. Let me know if you would like to be tagged or untagged!
Find my other Lovelink FF HERE on my masterlist under Lovelink - One shots. Along with my Rory Bear & Shopping Trip (Rory O’Brien), My Science Buff & The Naughty Teacher (Marco Bottazzi) & Tattoo Artist to Businessman (Blake Bailey) FF.
Comments always welcome!
Word count: 2542
WARNINGS: ⚠️ NSFW & Fluffy fluff
Disclaimer: Characters are property of Lovelink.
Pairings: Dominic x MC - Leona
Enjoy!
It's been 3 weeks since Dominic left for Paris. We have been texting every day, but it just not the same I miss him, he sends me pictures of places he's shooting which makes it hurt more. He's in the most romantic city in the world and I'm stuck here in the states!
"Leona, what do you think?" Kelly snaps me out of my thoughts.
"Sorry, what?" I ask.
"I said do you think Carter will like this bracelet for his birthday? I had it engraved it cost the earth, but he's worth it!" (I zoned put after bracelet)
"Leona!!! You aren't still pining over that boy are you?" She asks again snapping me back to reality.
"You mean Dominic!" I tell her.
"Yes, him! I don't know why you didn't dump him as soon as he told you he was leaving the country! No way would I let Carter travel to a different country without telling me how long he's going to be. Especially to Paris! Are you sure he's not been with his ex and taken her there?!" Kelly chimes.
Kelly is one of my oldest friends, but she's also the vainest and most materialistic person I know. She never thinks before opening her mouth, which has got me in trouble over the years.
"No, Kelly he hasn't run off to Paris with his crazy ex! You might not let your boyfriend off his leash, but some of us have more trusting relationships!" I snap back at her.
Nikki tries to hide her smile and Kelly gives her an un-approving look. I get up from the table gather my stuff and leave the coffee shop.
When I walk out into the cold air I pull my phone out and text Dominic but just as I'm typing my text as a notification pops up on my screen.
*1 New Message from Dominic*
I smile as I open the text.
[Hey gorgeous girl, I don't know why, but I just had a feeling I needed to text you! So here it is I miss you, baby girl! How's your day going with the girls? I hope Kelly isn't getting on your nerves too much? I got some great shots today. ILY XX]
[We are too in sync it's scary! I literally pulled out my phone to text you when your text popped up! I miss you too! I could do with a Dom hug right now...! Argh I just walked out on Kelly and Nikki. Kelly droning on as usual. It got to me so I'll probably have to leave it a few days before I speak to her again. Have you got any shots from the Eiffel Tower yet? Glad your day is going better than mine. ILY2 xx]
*1 New Message from Dominic*
[Leona, I don't get why your friends with someone that makes you so miserable!? See we might be in different countries, but I still know when my girl needs me. What has she said this time? I told you I wasn't going up the Eiffel Tower unless it's with you! ILYM XX]
[I know, but she used to be fun then her grandparents died and left her all that money it changed her now she's just a snob! Your girl needs you stateside! Have they told you when you're coming home? She said the same old rubbish how I should've dumped you when you told me that you were going to Paris. She also thinks you've taken Holly to Paris with you haha. I know neither of us have been up it, but you could go up and take pictures, so I can experience it through your photos! ILYSMM xx]
*1 New Message from Dominic*
[Money does bring out the worse in people. You have no idea how much I want to be back home with you. There is a meeting later, so hopefully, I get an idea then. I'm glad you haven't listened to her. Definitely haven't brought Holly with me, she's in court next month. No! I will only go up there with you so we can experience our first trip up the tower together ;) I have to go now. What's ILYSMM? ILY xx]
[Oh, I do! I have everything crossed for some kinda date! I stopped listening to her in the 5th grade! Haha. Wow, that's quick do you need to be back here for that? Secretly hoping you do! OK, we'll have to go one day to do it together! I love you so much more duh! :P ILY xx]
*1 New Message from Dominic*
[I text you as soon as I find out. I'm not sure yet. I might need to be stateside. We will soon I promise. Speak soon. Haha OK ILYSMM xx]
I grab a taxi and make my way home.
~*~*~*~
Later I'm watching The Notebook when I hear my phone.
*1 New Message from Dominic*
[Hey hot stuff, I have news you are really going to love. You know I did that small art show and that if it all went well, I would be offered to take part in the huge exhibition? Well, I got a place at the exhibition they loved my work! That's not the best bit they want me to enter a piece that includes the local sights! But I may have told them a little white lie...I told them I need my "assistant" and they are willing to pay for my assistant to fly to Paris, but they will have to share my hotel suite with me. But that's not all we also get to take a plus one to the exhibition ;) ILY XX]
[Dominic, that's great! Congratulations I'm so proud of you! Your assistant? I didn't know you had one? Lucky assistant :( Looks like you and your assistant will have fun. ILY x]
*1 New Message from Dominic*
[Leona!!! You don't get it, I told them you are my assistant they are booking you a flight as we speak! LEONA YOU ARE COMING TO PARIS! I WANT YOU TO BE MY PLUS ONE!!!! ILY XXX]
[WHAT?! No! I don't believe you! Why would they do that? DOMINIC YOU BETTER NOT BE MESSING WITH ME!!!! ILY XX]
*1 New Message from Dominic*
[I swear on my life they are booking you a flight I will get all the details in a bit. I'm not messing with you! I'm serious. I guess it's a way to keep me sweet? Either way, I don't care I'm just so happy you're going to be here. ILY xx]
[But I have work I'm not sure I can just drop it like that! When will you know? ILY xx]
*1 New Message from Dominic*
[Crap, I didn't think about that I just got excited when they said they would fly you over. Please say you'll come? Please? I should know in 5 Minutes. ILY xx]
[I'll see what I can do once you've found out when the flight is. ILY x]
*1 New Message from Dominic*
[Thank you, thank you, thank you! So, they have sent the ticket to your email apparently. ILY xx]
[I'll have a look now. ILY xx]
I quickly check through my emails there it is at the top my ticket to Paris. It leaves tomorrow morning at 8amand I return in 7 days. (How am I going to sort work out with just over 12 hours before my flight leaves?!)
I text my dad.
[Hey Dad, short notice, but I only got the invite about 20 minutes ago. So Dominic invited me to Paris to see him. I'd be gone for 7 days from tomorrow, but if you can't get cover don't worry I'll tell him I can come.]
*1 New Message from Dad*
[Leona, that sounds like too much of an opportunity to miss out on. Plus, I know how much you've missed that boy. Go! Leave it to me, I'll get cover. You go have fun, but I want to see loads of photos when you come back.]
[Dad, you are one in a million you know that right? Thank you! I will take loads or get Dominic to take some! Thanks again!]
*1 New Message from Dad*
[I do as you always remind me. Have fun, I'll see you when you get back.]
*1 New Message from Dominic*
[Did you get the email? ILY xx]
I decide to play a prank on him.
[I did, but I've spoken to my dad, and he said it's just not possible to get cover at this short notice. It was a nice thought while it lasted. ILY x]
*1 New Message from Dominic*
[Oh, what? That's a shame, but like you said it was a nice idea. I'm bummed now I was so excited about being able to see you. ILY xx]
[Lucky for you, I fly out tomorrow! I was joking my dad was fine with it haha. I love you xx]
*1 New Message from Dominic*
[Leona, that was mean! But I'm too excited to be mad. What time do you fly out? I love you more xx]
[I'm sorry, but I'll make it up to you! 8 am so I should be with you about 5 pm US time. ILY xx]
*1 New Message from Dominic*
[How exactly? So, about 11 am here. I will be working so I can't meet you until after I'm done. There will be a driver waiting at the airport for you. ILY xx]
[I'm thinking it's been a long time, so with fewer clothes between us. Oh ok, I guess I'll just go back to your suite and wait on the bed naked for you ;) ]
*1 New Message from Dominic*
[God, now all I can think about is you naked on my sheets and finally being able to hold you. I need to sit down or have a cold shower! ILY XX]
[You better hurry back or I'll entertain myself. I better start packing. See you tomorrow. I love you xx]
*1 New Message from Dominic*
[I will be as quick as I can. I can't wait to see you. I love you xx]
~*~*~*~
After a long 9 hour flight, I'm here! I'm in Paris!! I walk through looking for a driver with my name but I'm greeted with his gorgeous smile, his eyes light up when he spots me. I drop my bags I don't want to not be in his arms a moment longer I run over to him. Dominic picks me up and spins me around "Leona, you're here! You're really here!" he puts me down.
His lips crash to mine, I don't want to stop kissing him, but I pull away. "Dominic, what are you doing here? I thought you had work?"
"I managed to move it all so I could be here to meet you," he smiles.
"I'm so happy you're here to meet me! So are you free for the whole day?" I wink.
"A matter of fact I am! Why don't we get your bags and head back to the hotel so I can show you how much I've missed you"
I blush.
We walk over to get my abandoned bags and there is a car waiting for us out front. We pull up to the hotel it's beautiful.
We make our way up to Dominic's room as soon as he opens the door the view is stunning! I hear the door click shut, his arms come around my waist, his lips brush my pulse line before they reach my ear "God I've missed you!" he nips my ear which sends my body into overdrive.
I turn to claim his lips with mine. His tongue invades my mouth we're in a rush our clothes fall to the floor as he backs me against the wall. His lips move from mine to my neck kissing my sensitive spot just above my collarbone, he continues to move south, his tongue lightly sweeps over my nipple leaving my body tingling and anticipating his next move.
He nips my belly before he throws one of my legs over his shoulder, his mouth finds my centre, he parts my folds and works on my clit, making me arch off the wall.
"Dom....inic crap that feels..."
He pulls away "Like I need to try harder to make you speechless" He doubles his efforts.
"Oooohhhh!"
I look down, he's set himself free working his hand up and down his hard member. I pull him up to me "I need you! All of you!"
He doesn't waste another second he wraps my legs around his waist. He thrust hard into me, filling me. He slowly draws out each thrust before forcefully thrusting back in. This pushes me so close to the edge I'm looking over it.
I drag my nails down his back, he hisses at the sensation. His lips claim mine again with the taste of me still on them. He groans against them, he's close. I can't hold back anymore, it's been 3 long weeks "Yes! Dominic!" I fall over the edge.
Dominic hits his own climax "Fuck! God! Leona!" We are barely catching our breath, he's still inside me "Let's take this to the bedroom" He pulls us away from the wall and carries me to bed.
We don't leave his hotel room until the next day.
~*~*~*~*~
A few days later we are in the car all dressed up for this exhibition. Dominic is nervous I can see it all over his face.
I take his hand and he looks at me and smiles. "It's going to be fine! Stop looking so nervous!"
"It's not the exhibition I'm worried about" He points out the window.
I turn we're have pulled up to the Eiffel Tower.
"Dominic, what are we doing here?"
He smiles "I thought we could go up it together as we planned," he says.
"Now? What about the exhibition?"
"We can be five minutes late," he takes my hand and leads me out of the car.
"So, this is what you're so nervous about? I thought you didn't mind heights?"
"It's not the heights. Come one, let's go" we get to the 3rd floor as we step out of the lift there is a guy holding a bouquet of roses.
He hands them to me "I hope you like them" Dominic says.
"They're beautiful. Did you plan this?" I ask.
He blushes "I did. The day you told me you were coming to Paris" He takes my hand and leads me to the railing.
The view is beautiful Paris is lit up! "Wow, it's beautiful! I'm glad we have done this together!"
"Me too! Leona, there was another reason why I brought you here. I've wanted to ask you for a while, but face to face"
He takes a breath, "I love you with all my heart, I can't imagine my life without you. I'm done looking for the one as I have found it in you. So, will you be my girlfriend?"
I feel like I'm going to burst "Dominic, I would love to be your girlfriend!"
His lips crash to mine and I wrap my arms around him.
I am his girlfriend and he is my boyfriend!
Here it is lovely especially for you @khoicesbyk
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OwlCrate Unboxing
Artistic Obsession
March 2022
I am so, so disappointed with this box! This has absolutely decided that I'm not going to continue with OwlCrate - once my subscription is finished, I won't be re-subscribing.
The theme is "Artistic Obsession", which I was really looking forward to - I clearly should not have got my hopes up.
The book is "A Forgery of Roses" by Jessica S. Olson. The exclusive design is just... not good. The redesigned cover is very different from the original, but I can't decide which I like more.. However, the quality of the dust jacket is awful, it's a horrible sort of coated laminate paper. The interior dustjacket design is boring, almost not worth putting in. The foiling on the hardcover is very nice, but not detailed enough to work as a bare hardcover, so I can't just get rid of the dustjacket. The edges are sprayed solid red, but really badly - the paint has bled into the pages, and it looks like it's been damaged at the binding while the pages were being sprayed. There are no endpapers, not even solid colour, they're just blank. But the absolute worst part is that the dustjacket has been incorrectly wrapped, so the design is wonky! And because it's creased around the edges, it can't be re-folded without damaging it. I'm so unhappy with this, that I actually think it will be going in the bin.
The first item is an embroidery kit, inspired by "A Court of Thorns & Roses". This, much like the jigsaws they often do, is one of those items that might be something to occupy you for ten minutes, but once done would just probably get thrown away.
The next item is a face mask, inspired by "The Picture of Dorian Gray". I get the inspiration behind this - retaining youth, etc. I haven't used it yet so I don't know how nice it is, although I'm not thrilled that I have to mix it up from a powder myself? Honestly, this is one of my favourite books, so I was hoping for a more... permanent item? Something I could actually keep.
The book sleeve, inspired by "Daughter of Smoke and Bone" is actually quite nice. I haven't read this book, but the artwork is really good, although the quality of the finished product is not great.
We've also got a sticker sheet. These feature quotes from varying sources. Honestly, they're really f***ing ugly. I don't know why you'd bother printing these, if I'd doodled these I wouldn't even show them to anyone.
The last item is a photo album, inspired by "An Enchantment of Ravens". Although, they actually recommend you store art prints in it. Which I will not be doing. It's not a particularly interesting design, and the quality is absolutely terrible. It's very cheaply made.
This month's pin is based on "A Sorcery of Thorns", and actually it's the only good thing about this entire box. It's a little library inside a suitcase, and it's a lovely rose gold colour.
Other than the pin and maybe the book sleeve, this entire box will be getting thrown in the bin, I cannot express just how disappointing it was. And this is the first time ever that I won't be keeping a book I've received.
Also, OwlCrate sent an email out about their exclusive edition of Gallant. Apparently the printer has messed up the endpapers, so they just have the standard endpapers now. The artwork they were going to use is being made into art prints instead. Thankfully they offered to cancel the orders for anyone who wasn't happy with this, so that's what I've done. I don't really need another copy of this book, and I'm definitely not willing to spend that much money on a book that's only half customised. Also, I hate art prints.
#owlcrate#unboxing#very poor showing from owlcrate this month#a forgery of roses#jessica s olson#artistic obsession
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!? X2 for glas
They have a tattoo of a stylised eye on the back of their neck, which I haven't designed yet but I picture it to be somewhat similar to the kinds of eyes you see in Magnus Archives fanart lMAO. They got it solely to make 'eyes on the back of their head' jokes, which I'm sure was worth the pain of getting a neck tattoo
Back when they worked at the library they were definitely one of the employees who would know which books were being ordered and place reservations on them as soon as they were catalogued into the system. While they don't want to go back to working there because they love their current job (even if Gaia is kinda in shambles rn), they miss having that privilege
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Gays in Space
In light of recent troubles you may be asking yourself, "What the hell, can't I have one good thing?"
Well as a matter of fact,
you can.
Welcome to gays in space, a masterpost
~
Perhaps japan has stolen your heart and dyed your hair when you were thirteen, if so maybe Sailor Moon is right for you
I'll admit this probably isn't your introduction to sailor moon but you also didnt realize how incredibly gay it actually is.
Thats because for this you're going to have to be exceptionally careful about where you watch it.
The sailor moon on your tv as a kid had all the gay erased and told you they were cousins. With the right kind of japanese dub thats faithful to the original you get playful flirty quips and uncensored lesbian romance.
~
Perhaps you like to locally source your entertainment and only the freshest, indieist, content can brew your morning cup of joe, if so maybe what you need is On a Sunbeam
Words cannot describe how gay this is. Its only job is to be a lesbian romance in space and it is fucking acing it. This comic is beautiful and more importantly should get you that fix of positive gay space content you crave.
~
We've all gotten a plastic lightsaber as a child and subsequently broken it over the side of a tree, or at least I think we all have, lets not debate it too hard, point being what you need is some gays in Star Wars
~
Star Wars: Aftermath
Welcome to your new favorite book trilogy. Forget lord of the rings, hunger games is over, and for the love of fuck, burn those copies of fifty shades because I've got something better.
Thats right our man Sinjir is one of the main characters of this book and taking us on a gay journey through space while a bunch of assholes lose their shit about it.
Admittedly it takes until about book two to get to the level of gay you crave. But with the introduction of Conder we've got full on gay romance, gay tension, gay pinning, in star wars.
Now this is the first thing I've pointed you towards that isn't free, here's how youre gonna make it cheaper.
Check your local library. Maybe it's free for you. Who knows. Sit in barnes and noble and read it in it's entirety. What are they gonna do kick you out?(maybe)
If all else fails check your email and see if google play sent you five bucks off a book, which they do sometimes.(use the email search bar)
~
Another gay star wars book, sortof, From a Certain Point of View
From a Certain Point of View is a collection of 40 starwars related short storys and we care about exactly one of them.
MSE-6 and Men by Glen Weldon is a short story about a mouse droid capturing the love affair of a stormtrooper and an imperial officer.
It's cute, it's short, and near as I can tell it's the only star wars story that's sole focus is gay romance.
Now I probably wouldn't buy the whole book, for this one you've seriously just gotta head into a book store and read the part you're interested in.(not to say the book isn't good but alas the other 39 aren't gay related)
~
The Kotor series
A series of videogames taking place in the extended universe it's got space combat, space romance, and writing so sharp it could kill a man.
Kotor is a game series riddled with gay romance, but for this one you'll have to look up whichever one you're interested in and see what your gay romance options are. There are sooooo many choices. I actually can't list them all. Seriously look them up. In a world where you get maybe one token character on the side, here you'll have more gays then you can romance.
~
Perhaps you hate Star Wars, perhaps you're bummed out that the only videogames options mentioned involved my favorite laser space jesus, worry not because Mass Effect 3 is what you need
I've got only one thing I need to say about Mass Effect 3. Gay sex controversy. That is a real honest to god article. Shit my life is a gay sex controversy. Fucking iconic.
For this one yet again not really free.(for kotor games it depends.) But its also kind of an old game. So you'll find a used copy or maybe even pirate it.
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Well you knew it was coming. Honestly shocked I managed to hold it back this long. So with all the casualness someone can recommend a webcomic longer than war and peace, let me tell you about Homestuck
It's beautiful guys. It's just literary perfection. I love everything about it. It's hilarious. It definitely understands life better than I do. The characters bounce off eachother and you can actually see the way they make a dent in eachothers live. The interests they have they actually geniunely have those interests. I'm almost positive hussie actually has all of the hobbies he's given his characters. It's just shockingly well written. And I recommend it more than anything else on this list.
Not to mention it's gay. It's so gay. Every grey character in the picture above is a gay space alien. And thats just the people I can show you.(tumblr says im at my photo limit)
It's literally a race of pansexual polyamorous space aliens. Seriously find me something gayer than that. You can't.
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Honorable mention Neon Genesis Evangelion
Gay for only the briefest briefest sliver of a second. In a series this interesting it warrants perhaps a moment of your consideration.
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Well I'll admit this is sortof for the voltron fandom. They definitely seem to be having a rough time of it. And recommending steven universe a million times doesn't really do them justice.(but if you haven't gotten a steven universe recommend yet it is also well worth your time) And if anyone knows of any others I'm very interested and I'll add them to this list.
#voltron#vld#klance#voltron legendary defender#voltron legendary discourse#voltron legendary queerbait
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6.
1. What were your biggest plans for 2017 when the year began? With the year over half gone now, how have your plans progressed and/or changed? If you could change one thing that has happened so far this year, what would it be and why?
Honestly i didn't really have a plan. I just wanted to keep doing what i was doing, continue life as i was doing it. Life has been going good for the year and it's going the way i like. I wouldn't change anything that has happened this year.
2. Do you believe dreams come true? Why or why not? What’s the most unusual dream you’ve ever had?
if you mean literal dreams that you have when you're sleeping, then i'm not too sure about that. But if you mean something more along the lines of goals, then absolutely. if you put your mind to anything then you can achieve it.
3. Name your top three musical artists of all time (individuals or bands). Why do you love them so much? What song would you pick from each of them that you feel is their best work?
Well, I'll just pick three that i have really loved in the past. I loved hollywood undead for a long time in grade school and high school. i don't know why, my friend's liked them so i just listened to them whenever i was with my friends and ended up liking them. I also really had a thing for One Direction at one point and i think i liked them because they were cute and foreign lol not because they had any real talent. Twenty one pilots was my most recent favorite band. I thought they were new and mysterious, i fucking loved them.
favorite from hollywood undead would be everywhere i go, from one direction it'd be one of their really old songs that i can't think of right now, and from twenty one pilots it'd be car radio
4. When is the last time you pulled an “all nighter” (where you stay awake the entire night to the next day)? What was the reason you did so, and was it worth it?
It's been so long. I used to do it all the time when i had a lock-in at church. I used to be in a youth group and we'd have a lock-in twice a year and i always stayed up the entire night, it was 30 hours long.
5. What is one life experience most people around you seem to have had that you haven’t (marriage, kids, work-related, etc)? Conversely, what is one life experience you’ve had that most people around you haven’t?
there's so much that i haven't experienced. i haven't gotten married or had kids or even had my own place yet.
6. What do you think is the main difference between confidence and arrogance? What exactly makes someone come across as confident in a way that you find appealing? Conversely, what makes you classify someone as arrogant rather than just confident?
well when someone is arrogant they think they're the shit and they're better than everyone else and they hold themselves on a pedestal. having confidence in yourself is having self love and being happy with how you are as a person.
7. What are your favorite news sites? Which sites do you believe present the news with the least bias, and which are the most biased? Do you believe the comments sections of news sites are a good or bad thing?
i don't really look at news online. I mean, if it comes up and i find it interesting then i will read it.
8. If you could take a two-week vacation right now without having to worry about the details of making it work (money, vacation time, etc all taken care of), where would you go? Who would you bring with you, if anyone, and who would you want to make sure you went without?
I would love to go to ireland. it looks so beautiful from all the pictures i've seen. i would definitely take jack
9. Do you give pets or animals silly nicknames? What’s the funniest or most embarrassing nickname you’ve given an animal?
well, i have had several pets in my days. but yeah, i've given them pretty silly names sometimes.
10. How bad does a book have to be for you to stop reading, or do you always plow through no matter what? What are some examples of books you stopped reading, or forced yourself to keep reading until the end? What made these books so horrible?
if it's super boring within the first chapter or two and i cannot bear it then i'll just stop reading. i've had it happen several times.
11. If you could make a playlist of 20 songs that sound like your childhood, which songs would be on it? Why would you choose those particular songs?
hey ya by ????, yeah by usher, ride with me by nelly, country grammer by nelly, follow me by uncle kracker, and pretty much any theme song from any older nickelodean show or disney show
12. Would you rather improve your ability to remember things or to forget things? What event from your past do you wish you could remember more clearly? What’s one thing you really, really wish you could just forget?
definitely improve my ability to remember things because i feel like i forget everything. there's nothing that i wish i could forget but plenty of things i'm sure would be nice if i remembered them
13. What’s a word or phrase you use all the time that no one else seems to? Where did you learn or pick up this word/phrase?
i usually steal all of my phrases from my friends and family
14. What’s your favorite comic strip or online comic? Why do you enjoy it so much? What comic strip from the past do you wish was still around?
i like the walking dead comics (WAY better than the tv show), the scott pilgrim comics, and the kick ass comics.
15. Have you ever been lost? If so, where were you and what were you doing? Did you panic or stay calm? How did you get yourself to safety, or did someone come to your rescue?
i got lost in the woods a while ago. i was looking for a house in the woods that i had previously seen, lol. i wanted to know why someone was living in the woods. i was calm but the friend that i was with freaked the fuck out and kind of worried me a bit. i called my mother and she tried to find me and it didn't work so she had to call the police and they had to come into the woods to find me. i was 3 miles or so from where i entered the woods lol
16. Have you ever done something really unbelievable, only to have no one around to see it? What was it?
i'm sure i've done something, lol. i'm a pretty unbelievable person but i don't know right now
17. Name something you consider to be completely unforgivable, no matter what the circumstances. Why is it so egregious to you? What should happen to someone who does it?
rape. they should be put away for the rest of their life
18. If you were exiled, what country would you choose as your new home?
ireland!
19. What’s the last time that you were really happy? What were you doing? Who were you with? What made that time so special?
well i mean, i'm really happy right now. i'm watching some youtube videos and obviously doing surveys. i'm by myself and nothing is special about it right now
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