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#idk why but I’ve had a hard time with it
eggonthemoon · 6 months
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Shelter
Inspired by this fairy lantern Demian edit
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danothan · 7 months
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tough pill i have to swallow is realizing that “getting better” doesn’t mean “getting to do more things,” getting better for me means taking better initiative in protecting myself. and THAT means making sure i do LESS things
#sounds kinda obvious but i only just realized it lmao#feels like i have to grieve a lot of my goals now but no one said the healing process would be easy#danbles#and for anyone else that has a disability that prevents them from doing smth#or trauma that makes certain triggers limit their opportunities#or neurotypes that make it harder for them to love smth like they used to#or whatever else#i don’t want to make it sound like you have to give up on the things that make you happy#I’M certainly not going to#but a huge value of mine has always been experiencing everything life had to offer#and everytime that backfires (whether it’s burnout; triggering a flashback; triggering an episode; putting strain on my body; etc)#i always just thought to myself ‘it was bad timing’ or ‘i haven’t gotten better yet’ bc the endgoal was to always get to that point where#i could experience it. i want to try new things all the time. i want to feel normal and be included in everything#but if smth keeps Making Me Feel Bad then maybe there isn’t a version of myself that can take it on#it’s not resilience to put yourself in harm’s way#idk how well i’ll be able to put this into practice tbh. i rly rly like exploring different experiences#even negative ones are valuable to me#but the least i can do for myself is recognize that i might not always be the problem#maybe i’ve already hit the limit on all the self-work i can do. maybe it’s the environment or situation itself that’s the problem#fuuck guys ​i feel like i’m going thru a stage of grief here why is this shit so hard 💀
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nordsea-horizons · 1 year
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Olivia’s home🌺
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cosmicnovaflare · 9 days
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I like your drawings of Cinder in nice dresses. What inspo do you use for designing her clothes?
Thank you! Basically, when I was younger I had the delusion of “memorise every country in the world or else you’re a bad person,” followed by, “learn a brief history of every country in the world within 8 years or else you’re a bad person.” I learned in the order of history-mythology/religion-clothing, and I ended up loving the traditional clothing around and in Iran, Turkmenistan, Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, China, Vietnam, Indonesia, Mongolia, Bhutan, Laos, Myanmar, Thailand, Bangladesh, India, etc. It’s fairly difficult to find information about clothing in English, so I mostly pull from Hanfu for Cinder. Currently, I pretty much design how people would wear one today, ignoring old colour rules, pairing it with hair/accessories from separate dynasties, keeping bangs in hairstyles that otherwise would not have them, and sometimes adding in things that are more fantastical than historical. I would love to one day make futuristic designs, but I want to do that tastefully and respectfully, so, for now, I’m sticking closer to current-day interpretations.
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needylittlegirl · 1 month
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theres a 99% chance we’re gonna move so i have to start packing little things now cause it makes the transition easier but i hate it i dont want to
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hella1975 · 9 months
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basically threw away £20 on my nails today so was already getting weird bc i apparently cannot be normal about money and then my paycheck came through just for my manager to have knocked off 11 hours worth of pay. so naturally i am crying in a dark room about it
#this is such a girl moment wdym you’re crying about your fucking nails. couldn’t explain it to you if i tried#im just an utter FREAK about money and then for my payslip to get fucked as well. whyyyyy would you do that#im not built for the working world truly idk how sensitive people do it bc i am NOT im tough as shit 99% of the time and i STILL can’t deal#just give me my fucking money it’s not fair 😭😭😭 i worked hard 😭😭😭#and the dumbest brattiest part of this is that the thing that tipped me over the edge is that my mum didn’t offer to pay for my nails#like how ridiculous and spoiled is that but still i was so so angry at myself about fucking them up and it’s £25 to get them done tomorrow#and I’ve worked so hard for her this summer and both days I’ve been in town I’ve got her things#like nothing spenny but I’ve just thought of her and got her things I know she’d like just to be nice#and £25 is NOTHING TO HER AND SHE DIDNT EVEN OFFER 😭😭 she even joked it off#she was like ‘your dad would offer to pay if he was here but I believe in lessons’ GIRL FUCK YOUR LESSONS I WANT MY NAILS DONE 😭😭😭#why am i actually in tears over this. this is so silly. now all my money is fucked and im going to be the skint one when we go to dublin#AS USUAL. even though i worked hard and clocked the hours it still got fucked bc im fucking. cursed#im aware im being dramatic and this isn’t even about the amount of money i have atm i promise this isn’t some desperate bankruptcy claim#like for once im actually fine money wise it’s just all been FUCKED and my dates are now FUCKED bc i have to wait for next paycheck now#and it’s so unfair bc usually things go wrong for me bc im DUMB and mess it up LIKE MY NAIL APPOINTMENT#but for work and dublin i literally planned it perfectly and did the hours and it still didn’t work#like what is WRONG with me. i hate being an adult i need a sugar daddy ive had enough#the message I sent my manager…. scathing…. ik his scared of confrontation ass is panicking. give me my fucking MONEY#hella goes home
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trashcreatyre · 11 months
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She’s my oc now, sorry i don’t make the rules :/
Some of y’all don’t deserve her tbh
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roylustang · 4 days
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I truly feel like a dirtbagger. I’m so fucking dirty. Like just covered in it 24/7
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@familylightfox asked:
p = pda; what’s pda like with them? is there anyone who loves it, and anyone who’s less fond of it? what actions/words does it manifest as?
s = sharing; is there anyone who’s particularly territorial of their partners?
You know which poly ship I'm asking for. ;3
[Poly Fluff Alphabet. | Accepting!]
[Nahhhh I've got nooooo clue whatsoever~...Anyway this totally random polyship of ours came to mind,]
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Very, very into PDA. Bless is going to peck Volt and Node off and on, give them hugs when he feels like it, all the things- his PDA is very much of a physical nature, and thanks to his speed (in the day) it's easy to do plenty of it. Miiiight do a bit too much and cause an accidental buzzing sensation, but it's fine, it's fine....
Node...is not as-into PDA. It shows up as hand-holds and nuzzles and bumps of their head against their partners in public. They say 'I love you' and use pet names incredibly often- every time they leave to do something, no matter if it's a few feet away or miles, or a universe. They know Volt likes PDA, so they try to make sure to nuzzle both plenty.
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Node is definitely territorial of their partners. They know Volt has a side-gig as a sex worker and they won't try to stop him (after all income is income) but anyone who isn't a customer flirts with Volt or Bless? Quickly wary of. The fox doesn't like to admit it, but-- they're also very easy to make jealous, so have fun with those issues. Of course, they're fine if someone wants to try courting all three of them (stars have mercy on that soul) but for the most part? Flirt with Volt or Bless and they'll get uncomfy. Do it too much and they'll be glarin'.
Bless is far less territorial. He doesn't mind the random flirt here and there and might even flirt back- or just shrug it off if it's not directed at him. He's just easygoing about that sort of thing- he's had to put up with flirts for years from random gals and dudes all over his own Mobius, so...it doesn't really affect him when it's directed at Volt and Node. If it's at him, he might just say 'sorry, I'm seeing some foxes' and leave it at that.
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permanentreverie · 1 month
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i just got pulled over i want to fucking cry
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monster42069 · 9 months
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Getting a good hit of indica that’s a little stronger than vapes I had last time after I ran out of my indica is Hallelujah Praise The LORD and that kid with ADHD
#…#I need indica or antipsychotics both to function. an upper and a downer of some sorts. stimulate then depress. over and over again. daily.#TBH one of the dreams/goals that I still haven’t let myself let go of despite knowing the stats and likelihoods of the outcomes….#well anyway one of those dreams is to somehow fix this. to meet a doctor who has a treatment plan or life change idea that works on the drug#dependency / the ‘maybe’ acquired brain injury issues.#the ‘is this idiopathic narcolepsy or is this ABI from drs or would you consider this probable narcolepsy from ABI from drs or?’ issues.#the ‘it’s harder to put together a clear understanding of your health overall’ comments followed by silence bc they don’t need to say it lol#it’s hard because no one has known what my health ‘should’ be like. know one has any labs without me on psychotropic medication combos.#they have partial proof from brain scans for the conclusion that my brain was just .fried to deal with me/make me easy and good. didn’t work#and they don’t even need proof to know that medication combos in their own profession shouldn’t be used together or are only used together#in extreme cases with no options left that they immediately fucking jumped into and were lucky I didn’t DIE so many times but fuck yeah#now my brain hurts and I’m not how I was beforehand but don’t rlly know why or how to express it#and I feel alone there and then I have bitch ass doctors telling me to Just Stop The Meds For A Fee Weeks :-)! …..Dr u have no idea huh do u#a few weeks? give me 3 days before I’m having a psychotic episode that’s severe enough to warrant police arrest or 911 called for me.#that’s thousands of dollars in a legal psychiatric hold. and that’s if someone catches the signs on time before I potentially harm myself or#like yeah no I’m sorry doc but i can’t just Simply Stop or Substitute anti-anxiety drugs when I’ve had them holding me together b4 puberty.#anyway I’m still. hoping I’ll find some info somewhere or stories and people like me who figured something out or anything idk#because my medical testing is interfered by medications that I cannot stop taking (mainly benzodiazepines) without losing my mind now. bad.
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danielnelsen · 6 months
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someone was recommending an app for android and i asked if there was an ios equivalent and got the whole “apple sucks, just get an android” like…….buddy where am i getting this new phone from? are YOU gonna buy it for me? i’ve had one phone in my life that wasn’t second hand and that was my first flip phone. if my current phone died right now, i just wouldn’t have a phone until someone i know got a new one and was nice enough to give me their old one. are you expecting me to just turn down their offers until someone just gives me an android?
#i don’t get annoyed about it too often but my current phone is possibly the worst phone i’ve ever had#so like. i’m not just sitting here thinking hard about what phone to get next. i will take what i can get.#same with laptops. i haven’t had one in nearly two years and if someone offered me a mac i’d take it in an instant#no matter how much i’d prefer windows#like maybe consider that your phone-shopping experiences aren’t universal. i’d you don’t know an ios equivalent just say that#personal#sorry i’ve just had so many people criticise my phone recently with the whole tone of ‘get a new one’ and it’s getting to me#i’ve started just straight-up asking if they’ll buy me one to try to get the point across#but on this topic. hey does anyone have a phone or laptop they’re willing to give away 🙃#kinda annoyed at my sister who said the other week that she might get a new phone and could give me her old one#and a few days later i asked what kinda timeframe that would be and she got mad at me for being pushy about it#like ‘i was just considering it you can’t just expect it’ like wtf i was just asking. if it’s not gonna be soon just say it’s not soon yeesh#idk im just getting overwhelmed and annoyed at people being so presumptive and also demanding of what i should do#my phone has about 4gb of space i can actually use so i have to spend half my time swapping which apps i have installed#and i don’t have a laptop so it’s literally my only portable device of that kind#DO YOU THINK THIS IS A CHOICE THAT I HAVE MADE?#like can you think for maybe 2 seconds about why someone might have a phone that sucks#‘why dont you just—‘ MONEY. the answer is MONEY. why tf do you think i ‘dont just’#anyway. tips are enabled and i’m pretty sure my pypl is ashtonlove
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butchratchettruther · 7 months
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No one tells you the REAL challenge of being mentally ill, which is explaining why you do anything to random strangers without divulging the details of your tragic backstory
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disastergay · 1 year
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had the tma s5 finale thoroughly spoiled for me. I think I need to be alone for a while.
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scottishstoner · 1 year
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New relationships are scary, I’m overwhelmed with feelings for him and he’s the same
I haven’t been in a relationship since I was way younger and I’ve never felt like this, he said he’s scared of his feelings for me they’re so strong 😭
#I really like him and him me we are kinda labelling it as the beginning of a relationship#and are not seeing anyone else and we are taking it slow he is so so sweet#met him at work in January we started this Thing February 12th really but flirted and vibed before that#it was the staff party we ended up going out after and to his but we just kissed and cuddled he was so nice#anyway I’ve been to his a few times now (we both are so busy at work it’s hard to find free time for us both but we are doing it and trying#we see each other at work a lot but he’s a kp (kitchen porter) I’m a waitress#but I do still see him a lot but the whole hotel knows lol so if a manager sees me speak to him#for even 10 seconds after I’m done putting plates up after scraping them they’re like Jenna back to the floor on the restaurant lmao😭#they know smth is going on they dunno what tho#he’s so cuddly and sweet we bond over a lot and had a great deep convo at his last night#and listened to music and kissed and cuddled and I’m like ahhhhh we’re both always texting when not together#and kinda both tryin to be cool but we’re both kinda obsessed with each other rn#he’s so insecure tho he gets jealous and he doesn’t know why I like him !? idiot he’s handsome!#he’s funny. he’s sweet. he cares. he is a great kisser. he’s so open and honest and real#a lot of reasons!! he’s insecure coz I’m thin and he’s not thin he’s a bit bigger but idgaf I just know#I started liking him and when we kissed for the first time it was great and I feel this connection with us in general and he does too#this is insane I feel like I’m in a romcom/drama/comedy/indie movie with this idk lmao#he’s 26 I’m 28#he’s an Aquarius I’m a Sagittarius lol I love astrology k#personal#my love life#work#new relationship#rambles in tags#also after the staff party when we went out to a club then back to his he didn’t even try anything!! nothing. we like grinded & kissed lol#and he didn’t force anything or even talk about it and that’s not like most guys I’m sad to say lol
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ddaengju · 11 months
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