#idk who to even tag anymore lmao it's been so long!!
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JIUNG
Killin' it (240208)
#jiung#choi jiung#p1harmony#p1hedit#kpopccc#nugudomedits#simizone#aleksbestie#useroro#eritual#idk who to even tag anymore lmao it's been so long!!#rose.gif
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All the boys PT2
Pairing: Jude Bellingham x reader, Logan sargeant x sister!reader, f1 grid x reader
Summary: who is reader soft launching???
A/N: yay part 2
Fc: Hannah Harell
Pt 1
___________________
yourusername
liked by logansargeant carlossainz trentarnold66 and 7,303,667 others
yourusername ❤️💋🌹
user1 WHO IS HEEEEE
user2 y/n please 😭
user3 oh look, it’s litteraly Carlos
↳ user4 it’s actually Oscar
↳ user5 that’s Daniel idc
judebellingham 🤨
user6 i don’t even care who it is, they’re so cute
↳ user7 ikr im so happy for her
trentarnold66 😜
↳ yourusername bro why r u here
↳ trentarnold66 girl shut up
↳ yourusername gtfo
user8 ^^^ what is happening with Trent 😭
user9 JUST TELL US WHO HE IS ITS BEEN LIKE SIX MONTHS
user10 she’s so fine
Yourusername
liked by logansargeant masonmount and 5,445,708 others
yourusername happy bday big bro! Please don’t lose ur job, I only talk to you for paddock passes. In all seriousness, I love you and thanks for being the best big brother a girl could ask for ❤️❤️❤️ (surprised you’ve kept it a secret this long).
tagged logansargeant
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user11 WHAT
user12 BROTHER??????
user13 they’ve been related the whole time? 😭
user14 happy bday Logan
judebellingham happy birthday Captain America
↳ logansargeant thanks mate
liked by yourusername
user15 Jude lmao
oscarpiastri thank god you’ve said it, one less secret for me to carry
↳ yourusername so dramatic
↳ oscarpiastri you try keeping a secret for 15 years. You’d be dramatic too.
↳ yourusername 🙄
user16 siblings????
TWITTER
INSTAGRAM
yourusername
liked by judebellingham carlossainz and 6,788,010 others
yourusername already drunk but f it we ball
load comments…
user17 just the most American caption you’ve ever seen
user18 still shocked from this morning
user19 is she there with her boyfriend???
trentarnold66 ur man is looking 4 u
↳ yourusername y u talking 2 my man
↳ trentarnold66 girl idk im just as drunk as u
↳ trentarnold66 being fr come get him tho
↳ yourusername omw pookie
user20 wait is Trent with them too?
↳ user21 he’s friends with max so probably, yeah
user22 I need pics from the rest of this party asap
oscarpiastri piccreds: me, tf? I didn’t suffer through you making out with your bf in the backseat for this.
↳ yourusername guys, Oscar took the pictures. Everybody clap 4 Oscar.
↳ oscarpiastri I’ll excuse the sarcasm on you being drunk
↳ yourusername boo 🍅🍅🍅
user23 oh she’s so drunk
user24 so her boyfriends there
yourusername added to their story
↳ trentarnold66
DELETE DELETE DELETE
↳ masonmount
LMFAO
↳ oscarpiastri
Hey girl, this isn’t ur close friends
TWITTER
INSTAGRAM
yourusername
liked by trentarnold66 judebellingham and 11,001,432 others
yourusername i may have been drunk but I wasn’t wrong (ily Jude, happy 4 years)
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user24 FOUR YEARS!?!?!?!
user25 the caption lmao
user26 she for sure wasn’t wrong
judebellingham ily2 ig 😒 (happy 4 years❤️)
user27 I’m in love with both of them tbh
user28 I’ve thought she was soft-launching Oscar this whole time dhmu 😭
↳ oscarpiastri no I’ve unfortunately had to witness their gross relationship for years now
↳ yourusername you should learn to be nicer
↳ oscarpiastri don’t make out with him in front of me whenever we’re in the same car anymore and then I’ll be nice to you.
↳ yourusername 😒
user29 what????!!!! 😭
logansargeant woohoo
↳ yourusername 🤨 enthusiasm please.
↳ logansargeant woohoo!
↳ yourusername thx ig
#daniel riccardo imagine#daniel riccardo x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 x female reader#f1 x reader#f1 smau#f1 x y/n#jude bellingham x reader#logan sargeant x reader#jude bellingham x you#jude bellingham x fem!reader#f1 x you#soccer x reader#football x reader#football imagine#jude bellingham smau#daniel ricciardo
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RAAAAAAAAH idk if this counts as an ask but this specific scenario has been marinating in my mind for WEEKS and i think you might enjoy it :3c
to put it shortly ive been thinking of hot-headed reader who has trouble containing their temper (im not projecting whar do you mean) x chuuya (established relationship) that goes from angst to smut…. teehee
basically chuuya and reader begin arguing bc i hc that EVEN THOUGH CHUUYA IS EXTREMELY LOYAL AND DOTING TO THE ONES HE CARES ABOUT…. his temper often gets the best of him. Recently, chuuya had been very busy, and reader knew that, and continuously made an effort to help him in whatever ways they could, be it making dinner/lunch for him, offering to help with paperwork, etc. BUT thing is.. chuuya isn't really noticing this and treats them like a nuisance. He hasn't said anything outright insulting or upsetting, but he treats reader so differently, like he's silently blaming reader for his own temper and mood. He doesn't even call them by their nickname/petname anymore, everything feels so distant now.
So in an attempt to yk, NOT give up on their relationship, reader decides to confront chuuya about this in a calm manner, but he blindly lashes out and reader is NOT having ANY of it… cue a petty back and forth between him and reader, and reader gets out of the house to cool off and meanwhile chuuya finally comes to his senses. He tries to reason with reader when they come back, but they end up doing exactly what chuuya did to them, dismissing him and not accepting any form of half-assed apology. and so,,,,,, chuuya tries to make it up to reader,,,, if ikwym :3c
cue chuuya eating out reader like his life depends on it /jjj
((THIS IS SO LONG LMAO IM LITERALLY SOSORRY))
"You're not getting tired of me, are you?" // C. Nakahara
Summary. Recently, Chuuya has been kinda distant lately, mostly due to his work. This also resulted into you mostly overthinking— what if he isn't at the office all the time just like says? With this thought at the back of your mind, you tried to make an effort to be nice and caring as possible, only for Chuuya to decline the food you make him, denying any help you offer and barely spending time, which made the thoughts even more scary. When you can't take it anymore, you snap, at first he didn't get what your problem was until he thought about your earlier attempts. Now driven with guilt, Chuuya wants to assure you're the most important thing to him and makes up for his actions in the process.
Tags. Chuuya N. / afab! Reader, the summary pretty much already tells the story, angst to smut to fluff maybe, miscommunication, Reader prolly has anxiety, swearing, ooc! Chuuya, suspicions of cheating, Chuuya didn't notice at first but it's okay he'll make it up by licking pussy ^_^, might be cringe, short too idk, Reader might be KINDAAA based off me, petnames (baby, doll, darlin', sweetheart), oral sex (afab! receiving), praising, overstimulation? , p in v, who knows maybe i fucked up the ask and wrote smth else, for the first time ever porn WITH plot, might have a rushed end, might contain grammar errors, etc.
"Hey, Chuuya, wanna eat? I made your favorite!", you said with a nervous tone painted in your voice, which Chuuya didn't really notice. "No, baby, I can't. Sorry, maybe next time?", he answered without even exchanging looks with you, just doing his paperwork as if it was more important to him. It's been like this for several days already and you did nothing but trying to help Chuuya to make things easier, but he didn't budge. You slowly started to get annoyed and just walked away to eat by yourself, silently.
With all kind of negative thoughts which caused you to overthink. These "thoughts" didn't leave you alone since he's become more distant. What if he's losing interest? What if he's not always late in the office? Am I annoying him and a burden? After you finished eating, you just put his plate into the fridge and sat alone in your living room. Some while later, Chuuya came to see you for a few minutes before returning to work. He tired hugging you but you rejected it. Confused, he looks at you before asking. "What's wrong, doll?", did he seriously just ask you that? After pushing away for the— what? The millionth time for his work? At this innocent question you snapped, well, not really but you were beyond pissed.
When Chuuya told you that he was probably busy for the next days, you understood, at first. Knowing Chuuya, he could make some time for you in between, right? He was your really loyal, sweet and loving boyfriend, caring was he too, of course Chuuya should be able to make atleast a little time. And to his credit, he did, at first. He took breaks in which he spent time with you, cooking your food with you, and also other activities you guys normally do.
But with time, Chuuya got more and more work and spent less and less time with you. You also understood at first, and trying to be a good girlfriend, you tried to take some work off his back by doing some paperwork with him, only to deny you. Don't get Chuuya wrong, he appreciated it, but he'd rather do it himself. You understood, leaving him be, but then he started to work late, staying behind in the office. That's when you started to overthink a little.
You really didn't want to let you thoughts get to you, Chuuya is loyal and so loving he would never, right? Why was he even staying so late in the first place? Was it because you constantly asked him to help to the point he wanted to work in the office at work? These thoughts would slowly consume you later on, and instead of speaking with Chuuya about it, you kept it to yourself, you didn't want to annoy him anyways.
It's been 3 days later and he didn't even say a single word to you, just work, work, work. Were you even Chuuya's top priority at this point? You just let him distance himself, in hope of him noticing your presence. All this did was make the situation worse, to the point where you cried yourself to sleep at night feeling unwanted. Did Chuuya finally notice? No, his head is still drowned in paperwork.
"Chuuya, do you have time right now?" — "No. Go do something else, doll, I still have work left."
His tone had some harshness to it, a hint of annoyance too. But maybe it was because of the stress because of work. "I could help him maybe.", you told yourself, you don't want him to overwork himself, has he even eaten today?
"Well, maybe I could help with the paper—" — "You can't, so please go. I still have a lot left." — "But I could—" — "Just go, I'm busy. I can't really talk with you 'cause you're gonna distract me."
What a reason, but you can't let him push you away now, can you?
"Chuuya, please, I just wanna help you—" — "Just leave me the hell alone and do something else. Look, I love you for trying, I don't need your help the only this you're doing right now is distracting me." "If you say so." Was all you said before leaving his home office without saying another word.
That was the last time you talked to him during these days, but today, was the day you finally snapped at him for pushing you away all these days. And for what did he push you away? For trying to be nice and take some shit off his back? "What's wrong?! What's wrong is that you pushed me away for— what? A week and a half?!", you explained with anger behind your voice, which Chuuya wasn't familiar with. "Doll, I didn't push you away—", before he could speak you went on. "Stop with the bullshit. Whenever I tried helping with anything you always denied me! I can't do this anymore.", you said with a crack in your voice, now Chuuya slowly got pissed too, was it his fault for having an asshole of a boss?
"Do you think I want to do this? Who in the hell would participate in such work as a fucking joke?!", he said rather louder than you. "Your damn work seems to be more important that me, when was the last time you looked me in my face?", you stood up from the couch. "You wouldn't even know what to do!", "I could've if you took some fucking time to explain!", you shouted back, this is where Chuuya might have lost his temper. "Why the hell should I? You won't even understand when I tell you to leave! I'm sorry if the world doesn't fucking revolve around you, some people have other priorities?!", his voice got angrier and louder.
"Appearently I'm not your first priority, which is what I'm supposed to be?! I just wanted to spend time with you, but if I'm so fucking 'distracting' then I'll leave!", "Oh, so now you can take a damn hint?", he called after you tried to walk away. "What?", you stopped and turned around to face him. "Fuck you, then. I'm done, go do your work which is more important to me! All I was doing was to try—", "I don't give a fuck if you were "trying" shit! Just fucking don't because it won't matter anyway all you're being is annoying and desperate.", Chuuya shouted at you.
"So I'm annoying you now?", you said, your voice going quieter. "Yeah, with the way you were constantly up in my shit. You're not the most important thing right now, just stop trying to stress me more than you already are.", when he said that, you were facing the floor, fighting back the angry tears that were building up. "Alright, go do your work. I'll leave you to it.", you muttered, walking towards your door to take a walk. Chuuya just tsk'ed and went back to his room. It was quiet in the apartment, Chuuya was working on some papers left when he thought about your earlier argument. Wondering why you started it, he thought about what you said and slowly realized that what you said was true. He has gotten more distant, he was a little rude to you about leaving him alone and barely paid you and your attempts to help attention.
Knowing he probably fucked up in those past days, hurting your feelings and calling you 'annoying and desperate' probably caused the biggest guilt he ever experienced. Chuuya tried calling you but you hung up instantly. Okay, reasonable. The second time he called you took you're time to pick up. "Hey, baby—", "What do you want?", you asked coldly. "I thought you wanted to be left alone.", Chuuya could hear the pain in your voice. "Look, darling, you know I didn't mean what I said. It was the stress—", you really didn't wanna hear him right now, especially his excuses. "Sorry, Chuuya but I don't really wanna talk right now, since I'm annoying you anyways, talk to you later.", before getting another word out, you hung up. Chuuya just took deep sigh and thought of ways to apologize and make it up to you.
You first left at 6pm but returned at 8pm, you were a little tired after walking a lot so you looked forward to lay in your shared bed, alone again probably. You changed into Chuuya's shirt just like you have been these last several days for some missing closure, not forgetting your shorts before you sat on the bed to be on your phone. Not even five minutes later, the door creaked open, revealing Chuuya with a guilt driven face. "What?, you asked him once again. "Can we talk, please?", you just stared at him before nodding. He sat down on the bed, patting the space next to him, you moved to the edge of the bed to sit down next to him.
"I'm sorry,", Chuuya started. "I'm sorry for neglecting you these past days, didn't mean to make you feel like a burden.", "So you finally got the hint?", you ask sarcastically. "Baby, I mean it. I shouldn't have priotized my work over you and pushed you away during it. I never wanted to feel unimportant.", he held your hand now, gently caressing it. "The stress made me act this way probably and i shouldn't have lashed out at you. You forgive me?", your gaze was still as cold. Chuuya just pulled you close to him, finally after a week, this made you realize that you missed him more than you thought.
Chuuya stroked your back, kissing your forehead first, then your cheeks, and lastly, your lips— those lips he hasn't kissed for something which felt like an eternity. He just wanted to make it up to you one way or another. "Lay down, dollface, wanna make you feel good.", Chuuya said to you while he was holding your chin. "I haven't fully forgiven you yet, y'know that, right?", looking away while you said this, Chuuya just had to chuckle. "You're gonna when I'm done with you, trust me.", you rolled your eyes and just laid back like he wanted. Chuuya moved himself between your legs, removing the shorts and panties blocking his path and letting your legs hang over his shoulders.
"No need to tense up, pretty, jus' relax,", he whispered, pressing kisses to your thighs, never breaking eye contact. Those kisses started to get closer and closer to your cunt, which was waiting for his tongue. Once his mouth got to it's destination, Chuuya started his work. He ate you out like his life depended on it, but he made sure he won't make a big mess. You where quietly moaning, trying to not be heard by him. "Why so quiet, sweetheart?", he lightly teased, you just looked away again. "C'mon, look at me. I wanna make you feel good, remember that?", you looked back at him, your cheeks were slightly flushed and lust was filled in your eyes. Chuuya dived back in and kept his eye contact with you, looking at you while you try to bite down your moans. This only made him suck on your clit, which also broke your silence.
It didn't take long for you to finish with Chuuya looking at you while pleasuring you. As you came on his tongue, still breathing unsteady, Chuuya got up between your legs. "You're so perfect like this, darlin'.", he whispered before kissing you, you could loosely taste yourself on his tongue. While he was kissing you, he freed his cock out of his pants. Chuuya stopped kissing you for a second to insert his dick inside you. He stroked your folds with his tip to catch some slick and entered almost easily, as if your cunt was sucking him in. "Fuck, I forgot how good you felt around me. Forgive me for neglecting this perfect— oh, fuck!", he cut himself off by starting to thrust.
If you weren't loud earlier, you definitely were now. Chuuya was kissing you while being inside you, thrusting while his lips were on yours, whispering "I love you"s and apologies to you. "You're so good for me, fuck— I love you so much.", his thrusts got sloppier, meaning he was close. Your arms were thrown around his neck as you threw your head back, you could feel your upcoming orgasm. "Chuuya— shit, 'm so close, please don't stop!", "Wasn't planning on it, you feel way too good for that, baby.", as your cunt clenched down around him, he surprisingly moaned, instantly cumming inside you. He thrusted once more and that's when you came undone a second time.
"So. . did you change your mind, doll?"
@moth-of-mythos // @pretendtobesick04 // @alastors-deerest // @shi-nakano // @samutoru // @munnaitorei // @sjsnsidream // @shuwyyx // @skelitea // @xaviawinter // @cvidy // @cherrytreegrove // @skk-lover // @pe4rl-diver // @walking-simp
Sorry if ur tag didn't work 😕 also sorry if I fucked the storyline up
#chuuya'sheaven ♡#chuuya nakahara#chuuya nakahara smut#chuuya smut#chuuya x reader#bsd chuuya#bungou stray dogs chuuya#bungo stray dogs smut#bsd smut#chuuya angst
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TAG CATCH UP: PERSONAL PICREW, QUESTIONS + URL SONGS;
Heyyooooo I’m back (even tho I never left) but these illnesses have been kicking my ass and I FINALLY feel better! I’ve been tagged in a bunch of fun games recently that I’ve been neglecting, but thank you so much to everyone who tagged me! Have an oversized post to suit my oversized fashion taste tehe
Tagged by: URL Tag: @rolangf @carrionsflower @timdownie @thedeadthree || Questions 1: @rosenfey || Questions 2 + Picrew: @binatalia
Tagging: @bbrocklesnar @risingsh0t @statichvm @marivenah @confidentandgood @unholymilf @florbelles @simonxriley @shellibisshe @roofgeese @aezyrraeshh @faerune @tekehu @arklay @jackiesarch @minaharkers @captmactavish @carlosoliveiraa @queennymeria @shadowglens @nightbloodbix @riikugan @heroofpenamstan @fenharel @alexxmason @malefiicarum @gearvmac @gwynbleidd @delzinrowe + @binickmiller
|| hair colour is not accurate cus I’m a brunette but I bleached it recently so it’s a lot warmer than this! Wolf cut going strong tho and not this long but anyway ||
L: Liar Liar - Dylan, Bastille
E: ERA - The Faim
V: Vampire Disco - Friday Pilots Club
I: IDK How to Talk to Girls - Beth McCarthy
I: I Don’t Like You..OK - The Hunna, Kelsey Karter & The Heroines
A: AmEN! - Bring me the Horizon, Lil Uzi Vert, Daryl Palumbo
C: Conquer - Marshmello, Space Laces
K: Kick Back - Kenshi Yonezu
R: Rise (Redux) - The World Alive, League of Legends
M: Make it Out Alive - ONE OK ROCK
A: Animals - Nickelback
N: Not Alone - New Rules
last song: Stormy Weather - Kings of Leon (my saved songs was playing while doing my chores lmao)
currently watching: I’m FINALLY watching American Horror Story (after my bestie pestered me for years aha) and I LOVE it!! I’m also watching The Kardashians cus it’s good background noise when I’m working lmao, and on going critical role etc
3 ships: I’m gonna choose 3 of my oc ships cus brain no function: Margot x Levi, Rin x Dabi + Mineyo x Rin
favourite colour: mustard yellow! Just such a pretty colour and so cheerful!
currently consuming: the daggerheart one shot hehehehe! So now I’m planning ideas for a daggerheart oc for when me and my sister make our characters!
first ship: anakin x padme…. forever a precious ship to me
place of birth: South England, UK
current location: 30 mins from my birth place lmao, I’ve moved a lot tho
relationship status: single pringle as always but my brain clearly is pining cus I keep having dreams about having a partner…
last movie: oh daymn… uhhh idk I don’t really watch films anymore! I think it was Suzume!
currently working on: oh BOY so many things! I’m making the invites, seating plan, table decorations and other bits for my sisters wedding, I also need to make a curtain for our stair window cus it freaks my dad out lmao, more crochet designs for my Etsy shop (critical role characters and Disney princesses are in progress), timelines for my ocs which is taking FOREVER cus i ain’t no writer, more drawings for my ocs, my oc publication, MULTIPLE ideas for oc art and just never ending odd projects cus i CANT. STOP. OH and all the planning for mummas fundraiser/birthday! So it’s a lot aha
are you named after anyone? Not my first name, but my dad went to a garden centre the day my sister was born and chose 2 flowers for our middle names, so she’s Molly Jasmine and I’m Jessica Rose!
when was the last you cried? Uhhh idk I cry a lot, half the time I don’t even realise I am. Probably on the weekend when I was feeling shit
do you have kids? AHAHAHA no. I have 0 intention of having my own children but whenever I’m financially stable (and potentially with someone) I wanna adopt/foster as many kids as I can!
what sports do you play/have you played? When I was younger I played football, hate it now. I play games at work with the kids a lot but nothing legit
do you use sarcasm? I’m British. So what do you think?
what is the first thing you notice about people? Their eyes and smiles! I can tell when someone isn’t smiling genuinely tbh
what is your eye color? Hazel but got a lot of green in them
scary movies or happy endings? Scary movies. That way I can create my own happy endings while enjoying the carnage hehe
any talents? I don’t really believe in ‘talents’, I prefer to think that anyone can CREATE a talent through practice and dedication. I guess you could say my art skills are a talent, but again I practiced for my whole life so it’s not really a talent more than determination. I can also cook decently, dance/sing okay, but they’re not talents to me, just passions
where were you born? The shit hole called England.
what are your hobbies? Oh FUCK I have way too many… drawing, crocheting, editing, writing, reading, watching anime, creating characters + content, puzzles, painting, diamond painting, organising and SO MANY MORE
do you have any pets? I doooo! I have 1 doggo named Harley and she is my pride and joy, I love her sm
how tall are you? 5 foot 11 and a half, so I just say 6 foot
favorite subject in school? Art, history, dance, drama and IT
dream job? Freelance artist or concept artists. Tho the latter is less likely nowadays cus yknow… everything is fucked from AI…
#tagged*#about me*#rolangf#carrionsflower#timdownie#thedeadthree#rosenfey#binatalia#run down of illnesses cus BOY it’s a lot: head cold for over a month turned bacterial infection in my chest#antibiotics gave me a bad UTI cus turns out I’m allergic to penacilldn#constant back pain and headaches#sooooo yeh it’s not been great#but thank you again for the tags!
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I almost wrote a small essay in the tags of that "fanwork as content" post but realized that it would probably be better off as its own post. So now it's... a large, rambling essay. lmao
Like... to preface, AO3 is great, it's a great resource for fandom, it feels good to have a centralized location that works well. That said, there has been a steady decline in how I've felt treated as an author since we switched to an archive-only model of fic.
For people who are newer to fandom, pre-AO3 (and even in the early days of AO3), people often crossposted fic. Sometimes to websites, sometimes to journals (particularly LJ/DW), sometimes to communities, sometimes to kink memes...
AO3, while certainly one of the primary places you could upload stuff, wasn't necessarily where you would get most of your primary interaction about your fic. It was always designed to be an archive, not a social media site.
But since we moved to an archive model (and away from LJ/DW) I've noticed that fic gets almost no traction on sites that actually are intended for social interaction. I'm not saying it's easy for any creator in fandom, but god. The numbers on fic posts are just downright demoralizing.
I don't mean to sound arrogant here, but I think I'm a pretty good writer. People seem to really connect with my fic. In multiple fandoms, I've written fic that most people have read and enjoyed, to the point where people have just taken it for granted that if someone reads fic in the fandom, they've probably read something I've written.
All this is to say, I know I've written fics that people like. I know I've written fics that people connect with. And I know those posts still only get like 5 notes sometimes on Tumblr.
I'm proud of my work and I'm happy that it's gotten such a warm welcome on AO3!!! But there are times when I feel like all this means that I could write literally the best fic on earth and still no one would talk to me. People still wouldn't want to interact with me on social media sites.
I wrestled for... honestly, a long time with all this. I had a hard time putting into words why this felt so uh. Bad. Was I just self-conscious about my own writing? Yes, but that's a separate issue. Was I just jealous of others' popularity? Sort of, but it went deeper than that.
I had an issue with a fandom that I don't write in anymore. I got a lot of fanart based on my fic, which was great, which was amazing, there were even fan comics made. Visual media travels better on social media than fic. That's just a fact. And I had to watch as repeatedly, art based on the fic I wrote got thousands of notes while my fic got maybe 12. And I realized the power of social media vs. AO3 because it did get to audiences that weren't familiar with my fic and people started to give those artists credit for my ideas.
I remember watching the tags of those posts because it was occasionally the only way I'd hear feedback on what I'd written (imagine getting one comment and 5 notes on a fic, then seeing dozens of people in the tags of fanart saying that it was their favorite fic in the fandom! it was weird!) and seeing the tags gradually devolve into "oh, this is such a neat idea for an AU, artist OP" or "wow this dialogue is perfect [artist] I love it" and like
It's weird to feel so happy because so many people are enjoying your work in a transformative way but also so unhappy because you have been completely removed from the equation. No one... even knows you wrote those things anymore. You have been removed in favor of a more "marketable" version of your work.
It's uh. It's a bad feeling. I stopped writing in that fandom eventually.
So again, I felt like... idk, like there was no point in me even trying. Because I could write the best fic on earth and still somehow get erased as a person. People would want my "content," but they wouldn't want me.
I think that's what hurt my feelings so much.
What I've realized is this: what I miss is the sense of community. On LJ, you could post a fic, cross-post it to a community, and there would be comments that would become conversations that would become lasting friendships. Not always! But often. I still talk to some people daily who I met through fic on LJ over a decade ago.
In the archive model, there has almost become a death of the author. The me on social media and the me on AO3 are very different; more importantly, it's almost like it's viewed as the "me" is on social media, but the work is on AO3. I am absent. There is only the fic, not the person who created it.
And that's okay, but when you try to combine those two things on social media and it goes over like a lead balloon... idk. There's an odd sense of dehumanization. I don't mean it in like... I don't know, a dramatic human rights violation kind of way. More that I literally feel like less of a human person the way I interact with fandom these days. Like I'm no longer a person who writes fic as a way to connect with my fellow fans and more a "content creator" whose human side is separate from my creation and never the twain shall meet.
(And I'll admit it feels especially galling to be forced into the capitalistic "content creator" box when it's not even a thing I can make money off of, lmao. It's like the worst of both worlds. I feel like if I can't make money off fanfic, I should at least be exempt from capitalistic social trends during its creation.)
I'm not so much complaining about my current fandom; WWDITS has actually been one of the best fandoms for interaction I've been in since the birth of AO3. That's one of the reasons I keep writing stories for fellow fans to read -- many of those fans feel like my friends, and I want to make them happy.
I think that poster was right when they talked about how the pivot from fan to "content creator" has fucked up fandom. There is this sense that we should be treating fandom like a job, often a fast-paced one with no pay. There is this idea that we should be separated from our "content" like you might a worker from their product, and blah blah blah alienation of labor, Marx, I get it, but damn if that isn't a shitty thing to do to your fellow fans who are making art for the love of art.
There are so many things I do love about AO3. I like having a central, organized place to put my fic. I like not having to worry about my work being lost to the ages. I like having an organized comments section I can return to on bad days to cheer myself up.
But I don't like the way that fic has kind of been relegated to a portion of fandom where people aren't particularly social. I don't like the way that authors are separated from their writing. I hear people complain sometimes about A/Ns because god forbid an author leave any trace of their actual personality to distract you from their content.
I can't have DMs with someone on AO3. I can't add someone to my friends list. There are no "beloved mutuals." There is just my work and the people who are kind enough to comment on it, even if they never actually engage with me elsewhere.
It's... a weird feeling, to feel so loved and unloved at the same time. Like you keep writing trying to make something good enough that people will talk to you but like. That's really not how it works. lmao. The best fic in the world won't make you friends anymore. It won't make people see you as a fellow fan rather than a pen name under a title.
My fic is some of the most personal stuff in the entire world, but my personhood is stripped away from it. It's so fucking weird. People like my fic, but they don't like me. They remember my stories but not the person who told them. It's bizarre. It feels like having your life and experiences strip-mined for content, and then the rest of it is just... left behind.
Frankly... I work in the publishing industry IRL and I have had opportunities to write professionally. Real, tangible opportunities. But I turned them down because I've seen it, the way that trying to fit such an intensely personal art form into a capitalistic framework can be exhausting, dehumanizing, and stressful. I don't want that for my work. Fandom has always been an escape from that.
But now fandom is starting to conform to those exact same capitalistic frameworks (and ofc without any kind of capitalistic compensation) and I hate to see it. It's so stressful. I feel like we're losing a lot of what makes fandom fun for writers and we're getting pretty much nothing in return. I'm not surprised that so many writer friends I know in fandom have quit.
like damn, I just wanna have fun with a bunch of dumbshits who love to overanalyze vampires and cry over their dumbshit shenanigans, not take on a second job. one that, I reiterate, I am not being paid for.
(Note: I am not asking for payment, just that I not be treated like a worker. The tradeoff for treating someone like a worker is that they get compensated for it. If I'm not being compensated, no one gets to treat me like this is my fucking job.)
It's a weird thing, because for a lot of people, fandom has become their job. Fanartists at cons selling fanart, youtube essayists making money off videos, professional cosplayers with sponsorships, etc. And so fandom is becoming more corporate, more capitalistic, more marketable. It's frustrating for those who don't want to capitalize on our fannish output, and doubly frustrating for people who are legally unable to do so.
I'm realizing as I write this that I'm most upset about the nonconsensual capitalization of fandom, particularly when imposed on people who are unable to access the very meager benefits of capitalism. I didn't ask for any of this!
Feels like when I'd be forced to go to assemblies for the US military when I was in high school. Like I'm morally opposed to all this but I'm also not physically fit for "service" anyway, so it's doubly insulting. I feel like I've been opted into the, ah, corporatization of fandom when I'm not even eligible for employee benefits. None of this should even apply to me! ;;
Okay!! I'm all het up now so I'm gonna go eat lunch and go for a walk! No monetization of hobbies, only trees.
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long life update - TWs in tags
It feels like it's been ages. I'm so exhausted and in a lot of physical pain. Going on two months of it being the worst it's been right after a couple of months of the best it's been. Chronic pain + grief + trying to get help from doctors who should have their licenses revoked + dealing with a shit relationship with my mom + a good, decades-long friendship ending + the ongoing disability process with the SSA + LAW FIRMS.
I'm so fucking tired. I don't remember if I updated that the appeals council decided not to review my case because the 'judge followed the law' except that he didn't. So, as it turns out, my original attorney (and he did not tell me this) before he left, wrote that if they denied me, it should go to federal district court.
I'm now working with a NY law firm to take my case to federal court because my current law firm believes it has merit, and I guess they do, too. That's how fucked the decision was, and I'm glad my initial reaction of bewilderment and anger was spot on lol
The good news is, it should only take another year! ._.
My neurologist is the worst doctor I have ever come across and I'm quite literally stuck with him with nowhere else to go. I wish him upon no one. I'm so tired of calling the SSA, getting documents to them, signing things for law firms, contacting law firms, getting no responses, and contacting them all over and over again. I am in incredible physical pain, like this actively makes my neuro stuff worse. Everything makes it worse. I have autonomic testing in a few days, and idk if I'll get through it b/c I have to stop the meds that keep me out of the ER two days prior, and it scares me.
My relationship with my mom is fractured and I don't feel like family therapy is actually helping. I had to end a friendship with someone I love and care very much about but who was growing too comfortable mistreating me and I was giving them too many passes 😞 I've known them for the better part of two decades.
It's been over seven months since my cat Isis died. I don't know how. It feels like she was here just yesterday. Yet, all the nights I've sat and talked to her and wept are all too real. I miss her more than I can say. She was my soul cat. I keep thinking about tomorrow and how she'd be so nosy getting into EVERYthing when gifts are opened at Christmas. Having to stop her, move her, laugh because she was just so n o s y and it was hilarious. And she's not gonna be here for that ever again.
I'm having a really fucking hard time tonight. It's just hitting me how god-awful this year has been and how I have a bad week to look forward to before even getting to the new year lmao I have to stop taking so many of my medications 48hrs before 1.5-2hrs of testing to see if we can find out Yet Another Thing Wrong With Me but knowing my luck it'll be 'no findings' and the mystery of why my core body temp plummets to 93.9 in the blink of an eye won't be solved until I have suffered juuuuust enough.
It never ends. Never. I want to give up. I'm so tired of doing this. I don't want to anymore. It never. fucking. ends.
I absolutely cannot say it's all been bad, though. I've met incredible, warm, welcoming, giving, kind people this year. Y'all have helped me more than you know and I'm so so so lucky to be able to call you my friends. This year has sucked for so many of us, but I want to say I'm proud of you, and I love you all very much.
My fic is gonna be printed in a hardcover zine early next year. I participated in a Big Bang for the first time and that'll also go out early next year. I'm hosting a tiny event in my tiny fandom server that I'm super excited about. I have a raffle prize to write (bagginshield !!!! SO EXCITED to revisit the og otp) and a Valentine's gift to write for another fandom.
I posted 401,000 words this year and wrote many more unfinished wips, plus a long one (90k) that I am very invested in finishing.
I painted and drew so much this year. I improved a lot, too! I got a couple of portraits printed from inprnt to see how they looked, and it was MY art, and they were GORGEOUS. I thought I would hate seeing my art professionally printed, but no! I almost cried. They looked so lovely.
My cat Lilly had health issues almost immediately following Isis's passing, but she is doing so well right now. She's blossomed into another cat, and while she's not my constant companion, she is with me so much more than she used to be. When she walks onto my desk I am to stop everything and hold her like baby in my arms until she decides that's enough (or I really need to move) lmaaao she's such a goober. My heart cat. <3
I'm not doing well right now--my MH is bad. Especially tonight. But it felt good to write the good things.
I'm sorry for my lack of replies and kinda disappearing. I'm running on fumes. I hope next year will bring physical relief so emotional relief can happen.
For those of you facing difficulties of any kind, I am holding your hand in spirit.
#vtforpedro personal#vtforpedro medical#tw mental illness#tw medical#tw depressing stuff#tw pet loss#I always wish I have something better to write#gonna try to do everything in my power to make that happen next year
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sims tag game! ☆
tytytyt @crsentfairy <3 mwah!!
1.) What’s your favourite sims death? burnt alive because its simple and its dramatic
2.) Alpha CC or Maxis Match? hmmmm mix, but i guess with my sims more alpha leaning
3.) Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? ummmmm no wtf? i literally didnt even know that was a thing.
4.) Do you use move objects? ofc duh
5.) Favorite mod? AUGHHH multiple cas columns, how can anyone paly with only two columns like?!?!?!-
6.) First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? pretty sure it was cats & dogs
7.) Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? i guess LIV bc they are like living \? :D
8.) Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? dont even, i have too many
i gotta choose Jordan, Phoenix and Ronan!!!!!! jor and pho have been w me FOREVVVVER!!!! and im not just gonna choose a rando one of the freak sims ive made.... (except for Ronan i love him sm)
9.) Have you made a simself? i sure have!!! i gotta budate it though bc im probably gonna have blonde streaks in my hair for a while.
10.) What sim traits do you give yourself? neat, art lover, and clumsy
11.) Which is your favorite EA hair color? probobly like the dark brown or the new low saturation black
12.) Favorite EA hair? awwww bruh idk off the top of my head the sulani mohawk caus it pretty hot
13.) Favorite life stage? young adult
14.) Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? honestly i dont do either. i guess for the overall journey i enjoy gameplay!!
15.) Are you a CC creator? mhm!
16.) Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? YUP YOU KNOW WHO U ARE!!!(✩ ์ ᴗ ์✩)
17.) What’s your favorite game? welllll sims... specifically sims two, and recently ive just been conjoined to my switch playing animal crossing. but i also love the re games, and also the supermassive games
18.) Do you have any sims merch? LMAO no
19.) Do you have a YouTube for sims? wish i did but i couldnt video edit to save my life
20.) How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? hmmm..... well (23-22-21-20-19-18) id say im doing great now
21.) What’s your Origin ID? just rottenmothboy my old url... but i have some old sims on the gallery
22.) Who’s your favorite CC creator? well... l love all of them keep making great cc!!!
FOREVER (devilsfang & vampirepill) luv and miss u guys <3
magbay
reaper428
sashima
dumbabieee
cutesheepmie
lamz
seoulsoul-sims
lindian
khadijah551
moood
and many many more <3
23.) How long have you had a simblr? well this account has been active until i think sept 2019? but i started posting in early 2021
24.) How do you edit your pictures? i use krita!! because whose got ps money? not me
25.) What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? ooooo real. city living. i just love apartments
26. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? i honestly dont care becuas i dont buy them anymore
i literally tag anyone who sees this
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Get to know you- Sims Style
I was tagged by @simbury
What’s your favorite Sims death?
-- I find it incredibly entertaining that sims can spontaneously combust if they get too warm.
Alpha CC or Maxis Match?
-- mix, but ig it leans towards realism nowadays.
Do you cheat your sims weight?
-- not that I can think of. sometimes if I am shooting a specific scene and they weren't that shape at the time. but not during gameplay.
Do you move objects?
-- absolutely. I'm incapable of decorating without moveobjects on honestly.
Favorite Mod?
-- uhm... I guess the 3t2 traits project or ACR/Romantic Standards.
First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?
-- I have been playing ts2 since it literally came out, so my first ep was whichever one came out first. I think that was Uni? but in spirit of the question, for sims 4 I only bothered downloading the game when they came out with cottage living lol.
Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing?
-- aLIVE. my brain always said essentially like a movie set "and we're live!" so.
Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?
-- Evren Thorne (who you're more likely to see in @luverofralts or @nappe-plays-the-sims game than mine) because he's not story relevant yet, or (much to everyone's chagrin) Callum
Have you made a simself?
-- at some point far in the past, yes. I do not have that sim anymore, and I probably wouldn't do it again, but yk. I was also 11 when I started playing this game, so of course I made a digital barbie of myself. (not to say it's childish to do in and of itself, but that it's definitely something that every child tends to do)
Which is your favorite EA hair color?
-- since ts2 only has 4, I'm going to assume this was more ts4 centric. in which case I like the neutral blonde/light blonde colors (the two that are less yellow)
Favorite EA hair?
-- eh. for ts2 I wouldn't use any of them. for ts4... the mullet thing from werewolves? ig.
Favorite life stage?
-- teens or young adults. (I think I may be the only person I know how actively likes Uni for ts2 the most lmao)
Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?
-- oh. both. depends on my mood.
Are you a CC creator?
-- yeeeup. recreationally though. (read: with no real consistency.)
Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?
-- I feel like I do lmao. I at least hope they feel the same LOL.
Do you have any sims merch?
-- I now have a gameplay guide for the original Sims game lol. but I think that's all I own.
Do you have a YouTube for sims?
-- nope. I uh... don't like watching gameplay videos, and sims machinema is way too time consuming to make so I do not.
How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?
-- oh gosh. I was one of those edgy emo kids so it was a lot of grunge and dyed hair and bright makeup. I've honestly been leaning a bit more towards that style again though so....
Who’s your favorite CC creator?
-- depends on what I'm looking for. tbh a LOT of the CC I have now is older stuff that I just still like. but anyone who isn't exclusively making 4t2 stuff is probably someone I've downloaded from.
How long have you had Simblr?
-- technically this blog since January 1st 2020. that being said, I moved from LJ to simblr in like.... idk, 2012? whenever that great migration happened.
How do you edit your pictures?
-- a lot of photoshop. color correction, a slight film grain at the very least. most times I also do aesthetic edits to hide clipping, and add painted hair strands nowadays. if I can't get an emotion right for a screenshot, I edit those too.
What expansion/ gamepack is your favorite?
-- for ts2 I really don't think I could pick one. the problem is I use like 90% of them for SOMETHING gameplay wise, even if I don't use the main function. ie: I love the chemistry/attraction from nightlife, even though the whole downtown thing is frankly annoying sometimes (do YOU WANT TO GO DOWNTOWN? no, random townie I do not. ) But, seeing as I listed it earlier, I guess university.
Tagging uhm.... @rebouks, @pralinesims, @luverofralts, and @nappe-plays-the-sims
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20 questions for fic writers
tagged by @fulcrumstardust <3
1. How many works do you have on ao3?
for simplicity, I'm only gonna be counting the fics on wintersend (I don't really use my old accounts anyways) so 51 (which... wow)
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
462,660
3. What fandoms do you write for?
currently just Rogue One (currently lmao... as if I wrote for anything else in years)
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
you don't have to say i love you to say i love you (I can't believe this is number one... I'm pretty sure I wrote it on my phone 😭)
stars in the same constellation (just a drabble collection)
touching the sun (honestly considering how anxious I was about this one... it's reassuring to see it in the top 3 💖)
Blood Red Rose (I mean I would have been sad if this didn't make it)
skinny love (this one's a surprise! I wrote it so long ago and it never stood out to me in particular? but I'm glad you guys enjoyed it)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
unless I somehow miss it, I always do!
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
it's actually not written/posted yet but it's coming on Sunday so be prepared.... other than that, we have if you and i are a story that never gets told which is open ended but in a hopeless kinda way. they don't die but it's implied they probably will. all my other stories have happy endings because I want them to be happy.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
I think maybe imaginary homelands since the whole thing is about them finding their way back to each other, and also, it takes place post-war so no one dies, no one's suffering anymore, and they're married and happy by the end.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Not really
9. Do you write smut. If so, what kind?
I used to write more than I do now but yeah. Even if I don't, a lot of my stories have sexual themes or innuendo because that's just who I am as a person.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I've never written a crossover, it's not my thing. I've written AUs based on fandoms, but not crossovers.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Hopefully not
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes but not in the SW/RO fandom
13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
Only twice but it was fun!
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
do you actually need me to say it? it's rebelcaptain <3
15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
if a WIP means I'm working on it and have posted it to ao3, then I have full intentions of finishing all of them. otherwise there's a bunch of ideas I play around with and/or outline that'll never get written but idk if that counts.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I tend to like my dialogue
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Action and descriptions 😢 And plot agfdhdfhnhfg
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
if you're not using google translate and know the language (or ask someone who knows it to help you), then it should be fine
but please don't use google translate
19. First Fandom you wrote for?
it was Twilight, but barely... I tried but it didn't really stick. the first fandom I properly wrote for that actually stuck and became a habit was SPN
20. Favorite fic you've ever written?
it's not very polite to ask a mother to choose a favorite kid of hers, now is it?
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Jeremiah x Thomas has SO MANY GOOD IDEAS. (Which like warning for the talk of incest and sexual abuse and the like?)
- The first one I was talking about of him holding back, Thomas dying, then it leads to Wayleska.
- Ya got cheating Thomas 👀
- Yandere Jeremiah who takes out Martha to have Thomas
- Martha dying somehow (not by Miah like the last one) and Jeremiah being there to comfort Thomas eventually, after a while, things could maayybe get a little spicy with them lol
- Jeremiah accepting Thomas' offer to join them for dinner, becoming part of the family, and Wayleska starts earlier after Thomas dies as they already know each other.
- Or Jeremiah saving Thomas that night in the alley as he's invited to the movie with them too. (Which can tie into the earlier one where he comforts Thomas through his grief of Martha dying.)
Aaaand continuing on that thought!! (This is where the fucked up shit is really gonna start lol)
Jeremiah saves Thomas, whether or not he's confessed his true feelings to Thomas is up for debate in my head. Probably not tho? But he can't save him forever and eventually Thomas is killed.
Now, Jeremiah and Bruce both feel like they can't protect those they love and want justice. Jeremiah is gonna take care of his little brother, of course, it's what Thomas would've wanted. And he reminds Jeremiah of him so much... And maybe he's been fantasizing too much for too long without relief. Get where I'm going with this? Jeremiah takes out his grief and sexual frustrations on Bruce. He corrupts Bruce and accidentally calls him Thomas on more than one occasion, but Bruce is a good, little brother and wants to make Jeremiah happy. So, if he sees him as Thomas sometimes and it makes him smile, then he'd be Thomas to him. Maybe that's the only time Jeremiah is even Jeremiah anymore. Maybe the rest of the time it's fucked him up so much that he just hurts Bruce physically or verbally (when Alfred isn't around) because the reminder hurts. But, also, protecting Bruce from everything is hard when he's running off getting into danger, so sometimes he has no choice. Tough love and all that, right?
Of course, I also like the idea of Valeyne being introduced into this thanks to someone on here. (If you see this, hi, idk if you wanted to be tagged and credited for this spiral of thought lol. Lemme know if you do 'cause I'll be happy to tag ya!)
Jerome treating Bruce as Bruce in his own, strange way, and Bruce likes it. He's already being abused, so he doesn't even take issue with that. He's just happy to have someone see him as himself and not his father anymore. And maybe he's really into the danger Jerome brings with him like it's his shadow. Jerome lets him get into dangerous situations, he is the dangerous situation most the time, and he just laughs about it. Miah certainly wouldn't have been laughing.
My brain can't handle this anymore lmao
Wait wait wait bring in Bruce's clone and the four of them can all fuck. Now I know that's been written somewhere lol
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Ya'll... I think I might start a new story, I have a... basic concept of what I want it to be like, and I already have a name (under the impression that I don't suddenly do a 180), I just need to do like... all the writing and make the characters LMFAO It's gonna be a little on the dreary side and dark (which is the kind of writing/genre i aspire to write about, also means I'm gonna have to redo my personal reshade that ive been cooking for like... 3 or 4 months... 😭)-
in the meantime, I might start working on gussying up my navi post (and by gussy up, i mean completely redo) because as nice as it is, it's, idk, a little outdated (i guess), I have an idea for a new theme except i'm either going to a) put it in the drafts and wait til I start the new story to post it so the info is all there or b) make it and then post it and when i start the new story, edit it and put the tags and stuff in for the story.
ALSO might do a name change cuz... this name came from WAYYY before i joined simblr, and its got a charm to it, but i dont rlly like it anymore,, it just dont sit with me the same way that it used to lmao
*(writing this after i posted cuz i forgot to say this - its under the cut and in regards to NSB with the new story - it also kinda turned into a rant lmfao)
TL:DR for ppl who don't wanna read my stupid fucking rant: NSB is prob gonna go on a hiatus regardless of if i start a new story, cuz as much as I love it, it's started to feel like a chore and less of smth i enjoy (even tho, like I said, I rlly enjoy/love it)
Sorry to my NSB enjoyers out there.
regarding NSB, yes it will probably go on hiatus when making this story bec writing is already kinda exhausting for me as well as editing and NSB has progressively became more and more story-driven than gameplay-driven, and especially after these three days, im kinda burnt out from NSB, i know i just left it off on a cliffhanger with the new baby, but to be honest, I don't wanna deal with another child, i barely get by dealing with the four, and dealing with toddlers> are so fucking annoying cuz of the Sim AI, which in and of itself is just demotivating, i do REALLY love not so berry, i love the story ive created with it, but i guess im just tired of playing the same generation for so long, not to mention the fact that i made it a rags to riches challenge, i know i didnt have to but i prefer to, and bc of that, i havent been able to properly decorate, and i dont really wanna go back on myself, if i decide to continue NSB, i will probably take the RTR rules away since its so annoying to deal with having like, 1000 simoleans all the damn time. Also, i've been planning what to do for generation 3 since catty gave birth, but i had to put NSB on a hiatus bc of a stupid glitch and was only recently able to start it up again, and I still havent moved onto the next gen.
I kinda lost the plot with that rant, but basically, NSB will probably go on hiatus, regardless of the new story, I've been wanting to dwell more on Roo and his whole story and the people in his universe and after a bit, NSB has started to, as much as I love it and the storytelling and whatever, feel like a chore, which kinda hurts to say, but its true. Sorry to any of my not so berry enjoyers out there
#anyways my brain is ROTTING thinking about this story#obsessed and it has barely formed an existence LMFAO#as for the navi post ive also had a bit of a brain worm for it i just havent been able to start cuz of vday posts lmao#only prob with writing and staging a story is that i have tend to have very expansive ideas that are gna require so much time and energy#and im the typa person who wants to get it done in one sitting so ig doing this would mean being a lot more patient and slowing down#which go figure i probably wont be able to finish writing the story in one sitting lmao but considering me ill *want* to finish it in one#sitting#yapping
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Tagged by @watercolor-hearts, I'm actually surprised someone remembers my @ to tag me in these! quite heartwarming tbh, thank you lovely, hope you have a nice day/evening/morning 🤗💙
Name: my true name starts with a. m. but since i'm a person on the verge of mixing reality w/ virtual i rather be just called goggles lmao (not to be too vague, my second one is miguel, a quite common latino name, but the first one is quite unusual and it feels too real to be called like that so im hiding it lol)
Sign: Leo (i copied from the op who tagged me and yes this is my sign as well)
Time: 19:16 (i definetely spent too much time elaborating and correcting my own answers lmao)
Favourite band/artist: the short version or the long one? cause honestly im kind of into music as a whole, but to select just a few, i'd say Fiona Apple, Joanna Newsom, Beyoncé and Björk. yep, all ladies, dont ask me why but i just connect with female vocalists more
Last movie: ooh.. this one is quite been some time actually... i think it was Knives Out: Glass Onion! just a little bit of silly fun entertainment and cause i was honestly curious cause i liked watching the 1st knives out.
Last show: Drive to survive 🤷♂️ im not a very series person tbh (even dts i only watched the eps i actually was curious about lmao)
When I created this blog: this kind of has 2 answers idk. because this used to be a ziam - yes you read that right - a ziam blog lmao but i didnt put much thought into it tho. then i just stopped using for years, and i just came 2 months ago back to delete it and replace with this actual blog cause i discovered the charlos side of tumblr and wanted to interact w the blogs i discoveeed, reblog and all that jazz.
Other blogs: other than the one i deleted, no, i just have this active blog.
Do I get asks: no i turned them off lol but i dont mind actually i get kind of peaceful thinking im just a dot in this vast virtual world of internet, at least here
Followers: 125 accs (i guess, i dont check bots but i dont think there are too much of them)
Average hours of sleep: i guess it varies on 6-8? there are days a sleep a little bit later but tbh i dont keep track of these lol but i can tell i've been pretty okay with my schedule lately, at least my insomnia stopped
Instruments: nope. i have a shitty keyboard but i just gave up on learning, but i do plan on trying again, just dont know when
What I am wearing: green shorts and an ugly printed but comfortable t shirt
Dream job: i mean, it says dream job... so i might go full in... singer/songwriter 🤓
Dream trip: actually i'm not really obsessed about trips anymore... but if i had to pick one i'm just saying Madrid cause its where carlos jr was born 🤓 (i still want to go there and investigate in person to find his official time of birth btw, so yep im picking madrid)
Favorite song atm: i have a lot of songs being my faves simultaneously and it changes fast depending on the moments/moods but im going with In California by Joanna Newsom cause the chorus when she sings "cuckoo cuckoo" its freaking amazing tbh. for my more upbeat side tho i'm picking Those Eyes, That Mouth by cocteau twins.
Tagging:@leclercsbf and @leoramage (tagging you two cause you were the ones to start a conversation w me so i think it wouldn't be too awkward lol but hey, feel free to ignore if you dont want to or dont like these, no hard feelings, were just dots in a virtual space)
(ps: i was actually very defensive about these kind of posts but i tried this one for fun and hey it is fun! it was kind of cool to talk about myself freely without my face or name plastered on it so thanks for that, person who tagged me)
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🏎️💨 THE FORMULA 1 TAG GAME! 🏎️💨:
thank you for tagging me @wisteria-wisteria <3 (holding your hand in the liminal space that is the asian timezone on tumblr)
1. Who or what got you into F1?
This fic by greenstuff on ao3. Such a good fic, so good that it made me look into F1 more so I could understand it better. Then I watched the first season of DTS and got WAY too attached to Max because I love a villain. After I started reading Lestappen fics, I knew I was in this thing for the long haul.
2. Who was the very first F1 driver you supported? Do you support them now? Have your opinions on them differed or stayed the same since then?
I was a Red Bull girlie from the start because of that fic, and I guess I was a Danny fan for a couple minutes before Max appeared on screen.
Still a Red Bull girlie but not so much a Daniel fan anymore.
3. Who’s your current favourite F1 driver?
Max and Charles. Max slightly more but not by much. Hoping, praying, manifesting an actual championship battle between them, like idc who wins, I just need to see them fighting like they're always meant to.
Truly do not hate any other driver, just mostly indifferent to a lot of them.
4. Is there a driver pairing or pairings you support? What made you attracted to that pairing in the first place?
Lestappen is my ride or die. For all the typical reasons. *Insert that Mr Knightley quote about how if I loved them less, I might be able to talk about them more.*
5. Do your parents, siblings or relatives have a favourite team and/or favourite driver(s)?
My dad's a Schumacher girl, like as in he only watched F1 for him then stopped when he left. I sorta got him back into it because I started talking to him about my interest. My mom and my step dad are Mercedes/Hamilton fans, though I think she only likes him because he also has a bulldog.
6. Do you have any favourite races? Are there any that stand out to you the most?
Monaco 23 was the first race I watched live so that holds a special place in my heart. Singapore 23 and Mexico 23 also stand out to me because those are the ones I watched live with my friends uwu.
7. Do you have a favourite circuit? Can be from the past or from the current calendar.
Honestly, kinda basic but I do like Monaco even though its place on the calendar is kinda contentious. Purely for aesthetics, not necessarily for the race quality. Hopefully Charles can win it before it gets taken off the calendar (though idk if that's gonna happen).
Still trying to learn what my actual fav is for quality of races, though. All the classic non street circuits are good for that I guess.
8. Have you ever been to an F1 race in real life? Feel free to tell us your experience going to one if you like.
I live in a country where the nearest track is a whole plane flight away so no. I don't even know if I'd like to go because the footage I've seen from races looks kinda underwhelming LMAO. Though I wouldn't say no if someone invited me. Especially if it's to Monaco or Zandvoort.
This completely doesn't count but the old place where my step dad worked was one of McLaren's sponsors back in the day and got tickets to Sepang. I just thought it was a cool story.
9. Have you ever met an F1 driver in real life?
No and thank god. I couldn't bare to look Max Verstappen or Charles Leclerc in the eye after writing them fucking nasty for all of you. I think I'd pass out if I was in the same room as Max though, like my body would just shut down.
10. Do you have a favourite F1 car? If so, what is it?
He <3
I also like the old Marlboro liveries and I think tobacco companies should be allowed to sponsor teams just so we can get cunty liveries. Like can you imagine a Red Bull Marlboro Blue sponsorship?
11. Do you have a favourite one win wonder?
Oscar? Does winning a sprint count?
12. Do you have any favourite quotes from the F1 world? This can either be inspirational or hilarious.
Max has some great one liners, like "Maybe God is with Hamilton but he is not god," and that thing about sucking on an egg (king of duality <3). I also really like the quote of Charles talking about how his grandmother would sew little crosses on his race suits.
Tagging anyone that wants to participate but specifically @carronyaflowers @itshoneywhatever and @amarynas
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Valentine's tag game 💗
I was tagged by @gemini-mama, thank you :)
The most painful love crush/disappointment in life?
When the guy I dated last before meeting Danas broke up with me. We dated for about 6 months and he broke up on january 1st, and I just hadn't seen it coming. We had so much fun together and were literally (good) chaos when we saw each other (we later found out we both have adhd lmao), but deep down I also knew we wouldn't last. He wanted kids eventually, and I didn't. I wanted to travel, and he didn't. in general our energies together were just draining eventho we had so much fun. but that break up truly messed me up. however, because we had such a good connection, we are still friends and catch up every now and then (yes, Danas has even met the guy to see there is literally nothing between us anymore other than friendship.) I didn't date anyone after him for most of the year until I met Danas.
What was your first real date like/what do you imagine your first real date like?
I can't really remember what my first date was like. I know with who it was but what we did???? no idea lmao
What would be the most awkward situation for you on a date/has happened to you while dating?
Travelled through the country to meet some dude and we had a good time until his roommate showed up (a girl) and he asked her to join us???? and they casually pulled out a bong while I was the only one who wasn't into that so??????????/ it was so fucking awkward and honestly never saw him again after that. fuck outta here
What was your first kiss like/what do you imagine your first kiss to be like?
A guy lowkey forced kissed me (just a peck on the lips) when I was like 15 and I hated it because I did not like him so yeah that sucked
Do you have any sexual quirks that others would find strange/is there anything you would never do when it comes to sex?
i doubt that light BDSM freaks people out here but there's that. I'm a bratty sub(can be a switch when needed). I like to wear lingerie/outfits, be collared, spanked, choked, blindfolded, "manhandled", handcuffed/tied up, wear horror/halloween masks, have my hair pulled, put those fingers in my mouth daddy- you get the point really. and there's a long list of things I wouldn't do, main things being anything involving poop, piss and/or vomit. I don't ever want a 3rd person (or more) ((unless it's Sihtric okay)). also no anal, no serious degrading and I sure as hell ain't gonna pretend I'm furniture either
Kinkiest thing you've done/could do with a partner?
well well, wouldn't you like to know????
The most romantic thing ever?
if I don't say my proposal then what am I even doing? last year on our fifth anniversary Danas took me to the national park close by where we went to on our first date. He took me to the exact same bench we sat at that day and then he became all fidgety and nervous after a few minutes and then got down on one knee and asked the question. he was so relieved he had asked and that I said yes that he forgot to put the ring on my finger and I had to remind him. I lowkey knew he was going to pop the question but I also felt nervous regardless. after that we went for dinner in a restaurant nearby and it was just perfect because it was nothing outrageous or attention drawing, because that's not how we are either. and, in general Danas has done many romantic/cute things to surprise me over the years so I truly can't complain when I look at couples around me. find a Lithuanian dude is all I can say lmao
I see some moots have been tagged already and idk who else to tag so?? if you see this go for it if you want!
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Sims - get to know me
I was tagged by @druidberries & @m0n0lithical! Thank yall for the tags!
I rarely actually play the game so take my answers with a grain of salt but this should be fun!
1. What’s your favourite sims death? Cowplant, hands down
2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? For the longest time I was strictly Maxis Match but recently I've been way more Maxis Mix and I'm loving it
3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? Nah I let it happen!
4. Do you use move objects? Religiously, I cannot build without it. Routing be damned!
5. Favorite mod? BBB, I cannot play this game without it. I also get ornery if I don't have UI cheats extension and more CAS columns.
6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? I was on the Sims 4 bandwagon from day 1, so Outdoor Retreat.
7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? Living. You've got build, buy, and live, at least that's how my brain rationalizes it.
8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? I'm obsessed with all of my rpg oc sims (Ariss, Katya, Nat, Kai, Calista, etc), but probably my favorite sim-sim, well that's hard too. I really love my Simeon Silversweater makeover, and Rhiannon Reinhardt is prob my fave original sim.
9. Have you made a simself? I have! I've made myself, my husband and our dog (: One day I'll have to render them and post pics, I'm sure they all need an update now.
10. What sim traits do you give yourself? Clumsy, creative, & paranoid lmao
11. Which is your favorite EA hair color? Idk prob black or dark brown, so many of the other swatches look unnatural to me. I like the fun colors though, esp the lighter blue/cyan-y swatch.
12. Favorite EA hair? In terms of design, I really liked the braids that came with RoM and the really cool swatches, but I rarely ever use that hair.
13. Favorite life stage? YA cause it's the only one with adequate gameplay oops lmfao
14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? BUILDER
I rarely play the game at all but if I am I'm probably building. It seems every time I actually get into gameplay (which is rare in itself) something (a patch) comes along and breaks everything to the point where I can't anymore and I lose love for it all over again.
15. Are you a CC creator? I am! But only barely haha. I've made a few recolors and some art, but nothing from scratch YET. Soon hopefully
16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? I do! I'm a moderator of @cozyacres's Cozy Cave discord server and I LOVE out little community there! I've also got so many wonderful mutuals here I love you all so much.
17. What’s your favorite game? Sims 3 was fantastic and if I remembered more of it I'd probably say 3, but I got really invested in the community for 4 and it does hold a special place in my heart even if it's deeply flawed. So, 4.
18. Do you have any sims merch? I do not.
19. Do you have a YouTube for sims? I have an account but I haven't posted anything yet! I'd like to one day post speed builds and speed renders, I just need to figure out my recording process (I tab out of what I'm doing so often that I feel like the editing would take a million years for me to remove all of my discord chats lmfao)
20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? I feel like my actual sims style hasn't changed too much, except that I've incorporated a lot more maxis mix/alpha into my style, but that's mostly for rendering and not actual gameplay.
21. What’s your Origin ID? SalemsSims! I have a few CC-free builds on the gallery (:
22. Who’s your favorite CC creator? This is an impossible question to answer. I love so many for gameplay vs render resources.
23. How long have you had a simblr? I just legit checked cause I wasn't sure and it turns out I've been shitposting since 2019! Who knew!? lmao
24. How do you edit your pictures? I'm lucky enough to mooch off my dad's photoshop license. For renders and screenshots alike, I'll edit the brightness, contrast, levels and curves and then use a collection of PS actions/tweaking/blur/vignettes etc as necessary to get the effect I want.
25. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? It's really hard to say... I've been excited for each one of them then disappointed in each one of them lmfao what a mood. I gotta say I was really pleasantly surprised by Werewolves, and HSY exceeded my expectations, even though both had their fair share of disappointments. I don't think I really have a favorite overall though (which is def a side effect of... not actually playing the game, lmao). But those two actually got me playing the game and that's saying something.
26. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? Oops I own them all so, whatever comes next that strikes my fancy. Idk how I feel about the horse rumors though... we'll see if it's actually good or just another disappointment.
Tagging @chaoticsimlish, @reality-refuge, @raiiny-bay, @glammoose, @buttertrait, @crsentfairy, @glittermutt, @crazy-lazy-elder-sims & anyone else who wants to do this! My brain turns into a goldfish whenever it's time to tag so pls don't be offended if I didn't tag you!
#sims get to know me tag#ask game replies#replies#would this be more interesting if I actually played?#maybe lmao
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🏎️💨 THE FORMULA 1 TAG GAME! 🏎️💨:
tagged by @lestappenforever (i'm also very late to this oops?)
1. Who or what got you into F1?
simple answer: ao3
long answer: football summer break in the summer of '23 left me bored and bereft of entertainment. i was browsing on ao3 for stuff to read and somehow landed in f1 rpf and that was the beginning of the end for me
2. Who was the very first F1 driver you supported? Do you support them now? Have your opinions on them differed or stayed the same since then?
lewis hamilton :3 i knew of his existence before i got into f1 because of a feature he did with time magazine so i think i always felt a bit of loyalty to him? also because he advocates for causes i'm passionate about. he's still one of my favorites and i have a lot more context and knowledge about him/his career now!
3. Who’s your current favourite F1 driver?
it's a four-way tie between max, charles, oscar, and lewis. i never said i could choose for shit 🤷
4. Is there a driver pairing or pairings you support? What made you attracted to that pairing in the first place?
*climbs onto a table* LESTAPPEN MY BELOVEDS <33
i came for the enemies to lovers and stayed for the lore, poeticism, and homoeroticism 😌
ok but like actual driver pairing-wise... i'd say charles and lewis or max and oscar. i think it would be interesting to see some of the biggest talents on the current grid (and my favorites) match up against each other!
5. Do your parents, siblings or relatives have a favourite driver?
no one i'm close irl with watches f1 :( i do have a baby brother that i'm slowly brainwashing into the sport though!! his current favorite would probably be max (i'm guessing cause he's a toddler and i have no clue what he's saying half the time) but he loves ferrari in general. (really proving seb right here oof)
6. Do you have any favourite races? Are there any that stand out to you the most?
UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH tbh idk :( none of them from this year really stand out and since i'm a new fan i haven't watched any other year!! from 2023 though i really liked interlagos :3
7. Do you have a favourite circuit? Can be from the past or from the current calendar.
also have no clue because i haven't seen all of the circuits. will get back to you later.
8. Have you ever been to an F1 race in real life? Feel free to tell us your experience going to one if you like.
not yet :3 but hopefully i'll be able to go to one of the european races this year!!
9. Have you ever met an F1 driver in real life?
n o p e. though fun fact if i ever did i would be able to talk to 15/20 of the current drivers in their native language hehe
10. Do you have a favourite F1 car? If so, what is it?
rb19 or w11 ✨
11. Do you have a favourite one win wonder?
blerf idk. i would say oscar except i don't think (and i hope) he won't be a one hit wonder, but at this point in time he's only won one sprint, so i'll still say oscar on a technicality?
also i'm not well-versed in f1 history so i don't even know that many one win wonders lmao
12. Do you have any favourite quotes from the F1 world? This can either be inspirational or hilarious.
so. fucking. many.
"i don't want to mature, i'm happy where i am" - lando norris
"just leave me alone, i know what i'm doing" - kimi raikkonen
"i am stupid, i am stupid" - charles leclerc
"i have it printed out" - torger wolff
"i don't think anymore, i stopped thinking a long time ago" - charles leclerc
"yeah it's on purpose" - carlos sainz jr
okay yeah! that's it *fingerguns* tagging @solaireverie @rinador @scientistsinistral and anyone else who wants to do it!! i'm late af so. have fun lmao
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