#idk if this is a thing anymore or if im just early but here u go
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Six selfies of 2022
#my face#six selfies#idk if this is a thing anymore or if im just early but here u go#happy new year
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this is so cringe to come in here and say this but I lay my sword down strip my armor off and admit to you that in 2021-2022 I was a c!dream apologist Im so sorry i learned media literacy u were right all along ( I never actively fought with or spoke bad abt u I think I actually still followed u for ur art I just like, quietly disagreed lmfao ) anyway I mean. It's probably mainly that I was 14-15 ( insane horrible thing to be ) and saw a dramatic emo guy that had a 'fall from grace' comparing his early dsmp days to his prison ones and it fueled more interest and therefore sympathy from me that in his kind of freaky evilness he was still like "waa but I miss my friends .. and ... cat 🥺🥺" anyway. That's my attempt at analyzing why I felt so passionately abt him being a sad boy, also it just felt cool to be contrarian, I don't know but it was. Stupid. Consider this vindication on ur part
I’m 100% sure it definitely was because u were young and naive lol. But I’m glad u don’t think that anymore … but to vent for a minute like.. idk I don’t understand how you could ever find something to woobify that wasn’t either manipulated by the character and/or obsession with the Real Guy who is also a fucking serial manipulator. who would have thought.
It’s really frustrating to talk to or even see c!dream apologists because the constant denial that he never cared about anything but victimizing ctommy because he’s a sick pathetic fucking freak is just so upsetting lmfaooo. It’s also creepy and makes me feel like Hope Is Lost and men who perpetuate abuse will always have power over the narrative, both in fiction and irl. scary fuckin boots.
Also “consider this vindication on ur part” girl …. Sorry but that’s really annoying lmfao. I don’t know why you former apologists feel the need to apologize NOW … idk the more I think abt this the angrier I am and I’d rather dream apologists just. Not say this stuff to me. Regardless of how much you’ve changed lol. Harsh but … I need to stand up for myself a bit here
#dsmp#farts#to be honest this ask is a little weird guys like … u don’t need to confess to me#I’m not gonna absolve u of supporting victim blaming rhetoric and abusers#even if they’re fictional like.. idk what u want from me
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making a post in the tags to “call out” a person is so dumb and childish and stupid, so i won’t put this in there. however, the admin of @wavehq is full lying on my name these days even though i haven’t talked to them or anyone else involved in there in like 6mos. and i rly want them to stop.
i don’t have my old discord account w ss. if anyone else has ss with me in them, u can add them to this post idc how ugly it makes me look. i talked a LOT of shit ( and pertaining to this story, about sel esp ) and called ppl some nasty names and any ss will incriminate me of that. so me talking shit isn’t a ‘gotcha’ anymore. i talked shit and called sel names, as well as k, and i know sel called me names, and im sure everyone else did too. whatevs.
yk what i never did ? i never made a “manifesto” about my ex friend, or priv-retweeted their personal ooc twitter account to mock them. i never helped create and work on an rpt blog, then went and consoled the person being mentioned in nasty messages in the blog on some “oh im so sorry this is happening to you ˙◠˙” shit when it was them the whole time. the worst i did was “fuck her, he’s a cunt, fuck them”, but dream, you lied to me a Lot!
and you’re lying in defending yourself by saying i “heavily hate” sid or anyone. i never have, never did, never will. the last thing i said to sid in like July was “hey, heres my ooc tiktok, im deleting discord. if i never hear from you again, take care.” and then i left rp and the rpc entirely. haven’t talked to or even perceived any of you in months.
you want to believe i’m “bringing this up now” to start stuff or something, but what stakes do i have in any of this? you and yours drove me out of the hobby i’ve loved since i was 12, used an rpt blog to force me to defend myself against your ugly claims at a time you Knew well and good i was absent and dealing with a family death ( and then came in my dms to comfort me ??? you and k both. ) . i lost all of my best friends of several years. trust me, i want no part of the rpc anymore. i don’t want back in. i don’t want to engage. this is a nothing tumblr account that ill never use again. consider, instead, that another person close to the situation and i shared similar experiences and realized there were too many untruths and inconsistencies to let it rest, rather than just ‘starting stuff’ to start stuff.
“sid says steph crops screenshots to make them look incriminating” aye , but i definitely gave my entire discord login out, more than once, and encouraged my friend at the time to go ahead and look for themselves ( they declined at the time. i can still give the login i really do not care. though idk if the login will work anymore bc the accounts been deactivated for, uh, 6 months.) i cropped ss where earthp members were telling me how K is making them uncomfortable and how they were worried lenny was being dragged around by K, that i did do. and i STILL let k know that that’s what they were saying. i can’t stress enough ive got Nothing here that im fighting for i just think its ugly to lie for so long to everyone
“steph heavily hates sid” i do not. note the last thing i said to sid, up there ^. we did follow each other on tiktok then, and then we didn’t speak for 6 months. as of this morning, we are no longer tiktok mutuals - so it goes. sid never owed me anything. i don’t hate them. they know ( and yk what, so do my irl work managers!!! bc this shit affected my actual real mental health!!! ) that the day things went down, i left work early sobbing full blown emotional episode, writing paragraphs in desperation, to the point of overwhelming them and myself. i loved them dearly, called them my ‘spouse’ and best friend everyday, etc. though i don’t know now if they knew more about you than they let on. anyway……. please don’t just be declaring shit about me like it’s fact ?? i don’t hate anyone. not even you dream! just stop lyinggggg i hate that
ye all made me feel like i was crazy and losing myself in my own paranoia omg??? and ye were in your private chats afterward going “well deserved!!!” who even are you what did i do to you omgggg are we not in our late 20s with lives and careers ?????
if this is all bc of heddie/reddie and avengefm ? its ships dude it’s dolls it’s not real and to commit so much energy and emotion to lying to protect ur ships/rps is troubling at best. and if its not about heddie/reddie, then i haven’t a NOTION bc you and i, even when we were friendly w each other, were not close enough to create a bond to break??? i didnt do anything to you but welcome you into my writing spaces and engage in yours to the best of my ability. i was transparent with you when my activity struggled or i needed a break for mental health reasons… but what you had done with your friends is what ruined my mental health ?… go figure ….
i know who was behind that blog because they came clean and told me your connection to it as well. i know sel said nasty things about me too - we’re human and humans love talking shit. but no one else ever took it as far as you did, dream.
i don’t want anything from you! just stop lying on my name i don’t “heavily hate” anyone. outside of my shit talking from 6mos ago, i haven’t said a word against anyone but yourself; i’ve called you a liar, here in this post, because that is what i believe you are.
nobody in my entire life brings up what happened in everwell more than you and k. i owned up to every part i had ( whether directly or by my unavailability, all of it ), i deplatformed and cut out my two best friends ( people i had had in my HOME and had met IRL they were real people to me!!!!! ) and apologized personally to everyone affected, while picking out a funeral outfit and consoling my crying family. these are all my cards on table. you don’t have to respond either. just omg quit lying about me and the way i feel and what my intentions are - if a mf wants to know what im thinking and feeling, they can just Ask me.
and k i don’t want anything from you either! your names in this post because you were involved, and you know your involvement with that blog and how you also came to console me after. outside of that, i do not think of you and do not care what you think of me.
sid, i don’t want anything from u all either and i meant it when i said if i never hear from you again, take care bc i did care for u lots and also invited you into my home bc you were a real person to me. just know for a fact that anything dream says i’m saying about you or feeling toward you is just pulled out of thin air for whatever reason.
i always thought ye all were great writers!!! and so did snags and lex, way back when it was about writing for the love of writing. i would say all the time “omg dream is so funny” “omg k is cracking me up”, and they’d agree. hell if they’re at all in the rpc anymore and see this - hey guys! sorry shit got so ugly. you’ll never guess who was behind it.
i left the rpc and got mental help. i hope ye can get some help too.
*
this is dream bringing sel into the Issues and tying her directly to k, btw. you keep saying you didn’t bring sel into the k stuff, but “they’re besties” “she and sel” “they want peach to drop eddie so sel can pick up eddie” this is where we’re getting that from, bc you keep saying you only referenced sel’s activity and didn’t connect her to k at all. i cropped out sids response. i can add it if need be but it’s just sid believing you.
this is where i’m pulling what im referencing in this post from. the second half is censored bc it doesn’t have to do with me.
this is me texting my irl work manager on the day sid and i last spoke. i was distraught and emotional and crying but ok yeah i “heavily hate” sid when the way everything went down broke me to bits OKAYYY
the censored names are the names of my irl managers like it was So Serious so don’t try putting words in my mouth about sid.
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actually im still salty so heres an incomplete list of Shit That Happened in the mh movie:
clawdeen and deuce have a romance arc. it wasnt just trailer bait its a whole thing
ghoulia speaks
draculaura and lagoona r both bad stereotypes. (drac is obsessed with lala getting good grades n literally says “92 is basically a fail” or smth like that. classic dracula behavior[????]. lagoonas only trait is being cleos friend and wanting to fight/eat deuce)
draculaura also threatens to suck clawdeen & frankies blood lol
abbey has sort of a rich girl thing going on? idk how to explain it. shes trendy n absorbed in her phone like the other backgrounders (shes also a backgrounder...) she has a moment with heath thats w/e
the wolf siblings are gone. they show family photos early on that only feature clawdeen + her parents. HOWEVERR i could see them being worked in later as being estranged in the monster world or smth ?
clawdeens referred to as “doggy” multiple times its uncomfortable
cleo doesnt rly act regal anymore, shes just a meangirl for most of the movie. she also says “oh my god” instead of ra at one point like
jackson & holt are GONEEEEE. u might think its just because theyre not in the movie (toralei wasnt but is in the series) but no the reason is worse. its worse.
bloodgood is an ibs queen
#monster high#mh spoilers#monster high spoilers#think that covers it for bl ? anyway#the music/choreography is good but it lacks anything monster-y in it... its all v sanitized to me#also i didnt see the twist coming but thats probably because im dumb O_O#erm if u got this far: the hot teacher is the half-human kid(? i zoned out) of mr. hyde and the movies villain#im hoping hes not jackson/holts replacement bc itd be cool if they were introduced with baggage of this guy n what he tried to do#but ig heath isnt their cousin anymore??? its not the end of the world but Man#btw someone on twitter said heath was in his jumpscare era and it keeps making me laugh
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hihi! im kinda young (14 turning 15 in aug!) and i saw that another anon asked for your help on creating a blog .. i kind of need help too 😭😭 do you have any tips on writing? i wanna start a blog but have no experience in writing like AT ALL. except for maybe writing essays for eng or having to create comfort texts for friends because erm therapist friend here☝️
hiiii omg im so sorry for the late reply HAHA but firstly happy early birthday for august!!! plsss I'd be so happy to help! here's my reply to the other post on setting up your blog :>
as for writing tips,,,, um bro honestly idk if I'm the best person to answer ur question but here are some of my personal thoughts!! also comfort friend so real DONT GET BURNT OUT THO 😭
—(long post below)
disclaimer: I am obviously not the best most amazing writer, so these are just my personal thoughts !!! I'm sure there are other users out there with better insights !!!
when I started writing I was like really really really shit like PROPER shit it's actually fucking embarrassing reading back to it 💀 but idk sometimes it's just fun to look back and see all the improvements I've made along the way — for you, it might be that way too. you might feel like it's shit to begin but honestly the more you write, the easier it becomes and naturally you'll improve ! so I think the best mindset to have when you start is to just try, and be okay with the fact that it will obviously not be your best work and you'll just get better and better and better!
here are some writing tips I've previously written - I'll reiterate some of the points there but maybe give it a read and see if it helps?
I think it's easiest to start with one idea and use it as a seed — just let ideas slowly grow from it; keep adding little details and details until it sprouts into a big tree! for example, you can pick a trope that you really like (maybe something you've read before in someone else's fic, or something you've seen in movies/tv shows/books) and then pick a member from whichever group you want to write for (I'm assuming enhypen since you're on my blog) and just write!! for example, you can pick enemies to lovers and then be like hmmm I really want to do jay and enemies to lovers! from there, you can think about the smaller details: why are they enemies (plot)? what do enemies say to each other (dialogue)? where are they when they say these things (setting)?
I think it's easier to write the kind of things that you like to read! so if you really like one shots, write a one shot. if you like smaus, write an smau. if you like headcanons, do the same! stick to whatever you've seen before because then it'll feel a little less daunting! personally, I used to read a lot of like stupid little romcoms growing up and so that's just naturally what I kind of write now ^^ you'll notice that everyone has different taste; so you might see someone's writing and be like "wow it's really good!" and people might disagree with you — in saying that, don't try to please everyone and just write whatever u like ^^ you'll attract people who personally gravitate toward your writing !
tbh, fic writing is nowhere near the same calibre of actual book writing so I wouldn't fret too much about designing a really intricate plot with like fully-fleshed characters because nobody really does that anymore (at least not on blr? i think that's more common on wattpad where people have like 20+ chapters ya feel) — I think just write what makes you happy! If it's about your bias + a trope you like then ezz that's all u need to do hdfshsdh
there are people who like to fully plan out fics and there are people that just wing it — I'm sure you'll find your style, but don't feel worried if you can't seem to brainstorm anything! I think it's easier to just start, and then think about that could happen next. maybe you can start a story with dialogue and then just continue on with the conversation !!
when you're writing scenes, think about setting and characters — for example, think about how they feel, how they react to another character’s dialogue, how they physically react to someone's touch, how cold or hot the weather is, where they're standing/sitting and what their surroundings look like, what time it is, etc. etc. obviously don't include everything (especially the irrelevant stuff) but my point is that there are so many different directions you can go!
here are some other tips I can think of:
read your dialogue out loud and think to yourself, "would someone actually say this?" also, make sure only one person speaks per paragraph so it's less confusing
use a thesaurus sparingly — try not to use convoluted language bc I'd say people who read your work are going to be around the same age as you and idk it's just a lil weird if you're using random words that nobody really uses irl
pay attention to your grammar/syntax — make sure some sentences don't run too long and that when you read it out loud, it makes sense!
also spell-check HSDHDS BUT HONESTLY MY FICS ARE RIDDLED W TYPOS LIKE IT DOESNT RLLY MATTER TBH.. SO LONG AS ITS NOT HORRIBLE?? UHH
treat your characters like real people and think about what they say/do and if it's something in or out of character!! in saying that, give them motivations and fears and all the juicy stuff that real humans have — if you care about writing a story that people will remember, then I think it'd be great if you could write memorable characters by fleshing them out and making them lovable or hate-able(?) or relatable.
make sure scenes flow from one to the other — it's the same as you do with your eng essays! you make sure you're not talking about one thing before quickly jumping to the next. I think you can apply the same logic to writing fiction :))
honestly it's hard to give tips because I'm not sure what type of stories you want to write and what direction you're going for, so I'm really sorry if my tips were a little too generalised!! but if I'm gna be like so so so so fr right now, I honestly think writing for enhablr can be easy/simple — my tl;dr is that you should just pick a member + easy trope + make sure you have a mildly interestingly plot and once you add in decent grammar, you'll probably do really great! I don't mean this in a bad way, I just think ff writing doesn't have to be too difficult because most people just want to read about and imagine their bias in situations they'll never be able to see irl (its kinda the whole point of ff)!! I don't think people think much about fics beyond that !! this is all just for fun!!! so I really hope u have fun writing!!! lmk what u end up working on ^^
I hope this helps; idk if it did 😭 but lmk if u need any more clarification 😭💖
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well, sharkface. if someone has suggested before then maine (or bonus meta)
you are actually the first to ask about sharkface :) <3 ilu
oddly enough no bingo BUT shrakface <3 :) he is everything to me
and honestly on second though maybe he does work better as part of a dynamic bc on his own, hes very cool and scary and the ridiculousness of his dramatics works great against the reds and blues very “wait what? the fuck is that why are you so cringe” reactions to things. but characterly speaking like. this is a guy unhinged by grief. the loss of people that were close. he is unhinged BC he has no people anymore. if he had people i think that would be so good for him 🥺 kimball and wash hold fire and red team adopt sharkface challenge pls
also carolina learn what an apology is challenge jfc
i will not get into the wasted potential thing because i feel like i have screamed about that so much and i dont have the energy rn lol
BUT. thank u for ask me about shark man <3333 makes my weird little heart all glowy inside
maine gets double bingo bc hes special to me. <33333 big guy. likes to fight, doesnt like heights, doesn’t talk much, likes big weird weapons. a man after my own heart. needed more screen time imo
like he’s not a saint but people characterizing him as some. idk. sadist evil motherfucker always rubs me the wrong way. also maine =/= meta. but maine is part of the meta. u understand.
meta also gets double bingo bc im lov them <3333333333
i want to recoup some energy so i can talk more about meta bc he is my special little guy they are my big silly blorbo blob so this is going in drafts a minute
edit: did i never fucking post this?! i thought i had..... anyway. ill post this and then go look for it bc ill forget it in the drafts again
OK IM BACK
meta!!!!! honestly. to me. meta is a journey. a transformation. never fully solidified, always in flux. by the time they are actually the meta it is no longer sigma here and maine there in the same helmet. putting more and more fragments in the same organic mind must have been mental hell in a few ways for someone unused to this. the chaos. the fragments were from the same ai but they were still their own selves. u get it.
theres no way to know what went on in there the whole time and i dont trust rt to write that but he’s still. very special to me. especially post-emp. they are gone. his(their) head is empty again. quiet.
personal headspace stuff warning for those who’d rather scroll by:
especially early on in 2020+. i got locked in my head a lot. my little subsection of our headspace is an oubliette/panic room bunker cylinder. i’ve since been able to add windows and i know i CAN technically get out now. but for a long time it was just me, and an impenetrable wall of fog with no way out, and only a window way up in the ceiling i couldn’t reach. no one could reach me, i couldn’t reach out either. it was extremely lonely, very grey, and it just made me miss everyone i was able to talk to before. this is probably why i feel so attached to him, because i know what suddenly being shut off from all your system members feels like (idc that it was artificial bc the fragments were intentionally inserted, they were a system.)
feels like someone stripped you down to your OS when that happens honestly and you have to keep moving in a world that expects something of you yet. what do you do when you are back to being just one person alone in your head? how do you figure yourself out? other characters have said the meta was seeking more power... but that’s not right, i don’t think. when sigma& were in there, in the meta soup crockpot. they wanted to be human. be whole. reaching that metastability. and after they were gone. do u really think he would not have jumped at any chance to get one of them back? yeah AI are powerful. but so is loneliness.
i think maybe. if he would have lived. he would have had little introjects like epsilon made. maybe a neosigma. maybe there was a partition he started putting up when everyone else got too loud and split off a separate maine that was buried when things kicked into high gear. i dont know. there’ll never be any of this in canon so it’s only my speculation but. i like them, i like to think about them.
there show distinctly separates this transformation into several parts but only because that’s all they show us. they show us pfl maine with no ai. they show us pfl maine + sigma. they show us the boogeyman the meta is made into through the lens of hte other characters. they show us a meta a bit more clear-headed but still in possession of personality, sapient thought. but my brain wants to know (always) what happens in between. because it was never a light switch moment that caused these things, it was things stacking up over time, like anything else. i want to know how wanting to help sigma achieve metastability turned into acquiring the other fragments at almost any cost. it’s canon that the freelancers’ and ais’ personalities started to bleed into each other. how much of that happened more and more with each fragment they added?
hm. much 2 think about. i do have a meta lives au which addresses some of this. but i think i have spilled all my brainbeans and now i am tired again lol <3 but. ty for asking and sorry this sat in my drafts for months x.x ilu
#we just got a letter#ask games#rvb meta but not The meta#but ALSO the meta. and#agent maine we care you#sir that's my emotional support shark#here are my onions
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w all the talk abt jotaro n pol n the lot, it reminded me of a song i heavily associate w jotaro post-pt3, I Was Only 19 by The Herd. particularly verses 3 and 4, if u read on genius lyrics. it’s a song abt the vietnam war, abt a kid who could barely comprehend the horrors he went through and was just trying to hold it together to survive, who lost friends and got scarred and can never heal no matter how many years pass. it’s based on an older song of the same name, and samples the original right near the end. when i listen to it, at that part i always imagine joseph trying to show jotaro he understands how he feels by talking abt his experiences in battle tendency. sorry if this is too off-topic for the blog but i’ve always wanted to talk abt this
some other songs i really associate:
army of one by the offspring - makes me think of jotaro fighting dio!! esp in the window of time where he thought he was the only one left alive, and the only thing fuelling him anymore was his anger and desperation to survive. ichi ni san shi by zebrahead is another great “jotaro fucking ppl up” song but it feels more like early-pt3 jot
stage 4 fear of trying by frank iero - feels like just after he got home from the pt3 trip
and not the whole song, but the lyric “i hate my weaknesses / they make me who i am” from joyriding by frank iero
"i was only 19" FUCK OH MY GOD DUDE. "STAGE 4 FEAR" I AM EATING DRYWALL ARE YOU KIDDING MEEE FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. ARMY OF ONE................
im in agony thank you for these song recs anon i couldn't agree more. idk if u know but i have a jotaro playlist so if u didn't know, if u want more songs to sadly jam to, here is the link
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merry xmas eve kuya zak!!!! sorry in advance if this is filled wiht typos i had my very first bottles of soju and san mig light tonight haha.
hope ur noche buena was fun <33 hope this year was good to u and i hope the next year is gonna b good to both of us
also if ur willing to divulge what was it first drinking experience like??? what did u drink and with whom and what did u feel the day after etc etc idk now that im tipsy i wan know how othe rpeople experience it
neway thank u for being here in general ur blog and ur fics brought me so much joy and im glad u made every wip and published fuc and every analysis and every silly and not so silly but sad headcanons
lotsa love !!!!
that one marikenyo In Ur Inbox All The Time
wahhh merry christmas, inbox-marikenyo :DDD!!! i saw this ask on christmas eve but during then i too was also drunk off a few cocktails and promptly passed out a little bit later orz
i had a great noche buena!! i kept falling into a food coma because i kept eating so much, as the lord intended <3 JHVSKJHFVSD. i hope you also had a great christmas eve and are having a lovely christmas day today ^w^
and as for ur q, my first Real drinking experience was at a party i went to on my last year of college actually in 2020 right before the pandemic hit omg, kinda "late" by some people's standards. i say Real drinking experience, cuz prior to that party i did drink sometimes, but never enough to get drunk!
at that party though, i was with my girlfriend and it was the party of her college org and i was continually handed drinks. i Definitely Got Drunk.
what did i drink? no idea. a mutual friend of my gf and i was mixing the drinks and i never ask whats in stuff, i just drink whatever tastes sweet enough or is drowned in enough soda that i can stomach the bitterness of whatever alcohol content is within.
how was i when i was drunk? the same way i am when i get drunk nowadays: absolute disaster jahsfvasfhasvkfjh. i tend to get loud and lose all my filter when im drunk. also clingy. two things i remember clearly at that party are
1 ) my girlfriend went to the bathroom and i sat on the floor texting another friend about how i missed my girlfriend So Much and i love her So Much. later, when my gf had to leave early before me, i loudly announced "IM GOING HOME, MY GIRLFRIEND IS GONE SO I DONT WANNA BE HERE ANYMORE"
2 ) i was talking to the mutual friend who was mixing the drinks and he was talking about how he plays billiards. i remembered how billiards gloves looked like (it's like a normal glove but two fingers are out in the open) and i said something along the lines of "oh my god so you wear the WHORE GLOVES. why are billiards gloves so fucking SLUTTY"
thats pretty much how i am when im drunk up to this day ajhfvajshf but i seldom drink enough to get to That point, basically only at parties since like, im not the one paying for the drinks LMAO. when i drink lots, i get drunk. but when i drink little, i just get sleepy.
and when i drink enough to get drunk, the next morning always has me regretting Every Decision Ive Ever Made because i always...always....forget to drink water the night before....people around me try their Best to hydrate me while im drinking, but i get stubborn and forgetful and when im handed water i just put it down instinctively and look for something sweeter and usually with alcohol in it and im caught in a vicious cycle that ends with a fuckoff terrible hangover
but it's nothing a soft boiled egg breakfast cant fix HAHA
hope that answered ur q :DDD!! and thank you for the well wishes and the kind words ;v; im really glad that the stuff i make here can bring joy, and i really hope i can make more things in the future
sending u all the love too, inbox marikenyo!!!
#asks#inboxmarikenyo!anon#i can start tagging u as this na if ever bumalik ka sa inbox ko HAHA merry christmasss!!#cw drinking#cw alcohol
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abt ur reblog abt fandom stuff, i will happily oblige to ask if ur brain gave u anymore thought of the no apocalypse junpei finds quark au? love love love aoi's role in it and i think abt it a lot so im curious! literally happy to listen to anything abt it this is my entire shit
Oh!!! Sadly I don't have much on it, no, but I do have the initial little exchange that made me think about it, a lot of times my brain just runs with a back and forth dialogue and if I like it I write it down and only if I like it a lot do I go back and write down the descriptors and rest of the context to how the scene plays out in my head but it's sadly not happened to this as fun as it would be of a scenario to think about my brain checked out after I wrote down Aoi being super embarrassing to Akane by talking about when she was a baby and bossing the two around cause they called him in to babysit for being the only one there who knows anything about tending to another living being
Okay actually I read the thing again and apparently I thought of this as an au on my version of the au where the kurashikis don't do any of the vlr or ztd stuff and just work with sois on random esper stuff after a couple years so they don't have to be on the run anymore but they still have more restrictions than other agents, so there's a little joke that's like hey do you this violates probation? And idk there could be a plot there somewhere also they're at least in their late twenties by that point if not early thirties and Junpei and Akane aren't married cause this isn't canon they don't get officially hitched as soon as they look at each other again
I guess I'll add what I actually have here, hold up I'll give the bare minimum of context so they're not talking in the void
.
Once the door cracks open and Akane gets up in a huff to greet her brother with one rant after another, none of which Junpei even directs his attention to or try to follow, he gets up from his seat carefully. Holding a little blond baby draped in a single blanket they had lying around in his arms.
Aoi already got the heads up of what's happening from Akane earlier, although she didn't sound as eloquent as usual. Tenmyouji was out and somehow came across an empty lot which somehow had a baby crying in it and somehow it wasn't just him hearing things but an actual child that was abandoned there when he went to look.
And somehow, he thought bringing the kid home with him was the most logical course of action, which Akane couldn't agree with less. There were a thousand other ways he could have helped and as far as she's concerned this is one of the worst ones.
Before they could get into an even messier argument the crying started up again and she elected to call her brother in for backup before she had a Moment™ over how irresponsible it was for her stupid fiance to come home with an infant when he has yet to successfully keep a plant alive on his own.
Despite how set off by such an unpredictable event his sister was, Aoi wasn't seeming terribly unsettled. In fact after he's done helping Akane cool off and sending her to take a breather along with a glass of water for herself, he walks up to Junpei rather giddy. Which Junpei will never get used to seeing from him. He'll much less get used to hearing him make a high pitched voice as he leans in to lend a single finger for the baby to grasp with his whole entire chubby little hand.
"Aww... where did this little guy come from?" He spends a little bit like that, Junpei also smiling fondly while Akane, from far over the corner table, silently judges them both. It's late at night and she got herself coffee instead of plain water. Then Aoi's voice goes mostly back to normal, dropping harshly to an incredulous tone as he pulls his face away like he didn't want the infant to notice the change in tone. Although, his hand doesn't move away. "Seriously though, are you guys gonna keep'em?"
"That's the idea!" "We're *not* keeping it!"
"Ah, I see what the emergency really is. You needed a babysitter while you tear each other to shreds, I mean, sure, at your service. Hey, hold like this." With that Junpei's arms are free, he does watch for what his brother-in-law to be shows him to be the correct way of properly resting them over the shoulder and then how to support the baby's neck and head with how he was doing it earlier.
"Did you give them a bath after bringing them in? Even wrapped up on this it's far too cold outside. How long's it been exactly?"
"Uh, only a couple hours, sun was already down. And no, of course I didn't, how do we even do that? You can't just put him in a shower."
"Well, no duh. You need a little plastic bathtub, eh- honestly even just the sink will do, as long as it's shallow enough to hold them up."
"How do you even know this stuff."
Akane joins them, getting close while paying attention only to what they're talking about. Unfortunately, it's Aoi who's talking.
"Mom and dad had me help dry Akane after her first baby bath–" "Aoi..." Her hand goes instinctively to pinch his arm but it stops halfway, then it stays there as she closes her eyes and inhales deeply defeated by the fact she can't shut him up this easily without risking him losing his balance.
"She was soo tiny. I don't know about being this small, but I think she was heavier."
"Aoi. Aoi. Please, shut your mouth. And I'm pretty sure you just couldn't hold as much weight back then."
"Hm. Maybe." He shrugs. Then completely takes the subject over a one hundred and eighty degree turn. "Do you think this violates probation by the way?"
It's Junpei who answers.
"That's... A fair question."
He didn't think of the legal implications of bringing a baby off the streets to his house which just so happens to be the same place his criminal mastermind girlfriend lives. In fact, he was much more hopeful she'd be all altruistic about it and how it's the right thing to do instead of getting hung up on it being an impractical solution or that he's just fooling himself wanting to skip right to raising a kid together or whatever.
"We are not on 'probation', and we're not adopting a whole human child because of an impulse *you* had, Junpei. Our technically legal position is only yet another reason we should–"
Aoi interrupts her before she can get on a roll ranting again.
"Can you guys argue at the grocery store? This thing is gonna get hungry sooner rather than later and we can't exactly feed them with instant ramen."
"I have other things on the kitchen, I'll let you know!"
"Yeah, well, but I don't figure you treat yourself to baby formula on the weekends, now do you? And a can of energetic won't do it either, jackass. Now, get moving!"
#but yeah feel free to continue workshopping this with me this one's fun akdhksjs#if anyone wants to weigh in too I guess#this was very fun to go back to and write actually :3#I have so many verbal exchanges between characters with zero context but that I look at and know exactly what's happening lol#my brain just likes to simulate conversation far more than it enjoys actually engaging in it which. c'mon man#but yeah! please lmk your thoughts :3 and thanksies for asking#a tag for asks#dreamy don't look#vlr spoilers#hhhhh god this has to go on the general spoiler tag for caitas sake gosh darn#oh hold up I am actually thinking more about this now that I should be asleep lol#like there was another hing I remembered too of Junpei just being so protective and wanting to stay close#that Aoi has to tell him not to fall asleep holding them or he can smush them#which led me to think how I'm not sure this scene would end with him just going to the store wih akane cause idk if he'd trust that#she wouldn't have instructed him to just take the kid to an orphanage while they're away cause well#no matter how nice he's being or how genuine the situation seems it's still Them. y'know?#I don't think even years of getting used to each other would make that thing in#his brain saying they both would scheme behind his back again if push came to shove go away completely#and he's very right that they would even if it's not actually the case here this once it's genuine#but he doesn't know that
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i mean same things that have been happening here are happening on tumblr. people making crazy theories, people asking them to tone it down its not that crazy, then the crazy theories people complaining about it lmao. same thing in the main taylor sub. tiktok too. all in the hopes that taylor will notice them methinks. whether she talks about a theory she saw or likes a tiktok, it feels crazy, especially once the articles started coming out making gaylor a bit more mainstream and then mmwm started shortly after. swifties are looking at her fingers and reading "it's a countdown", gaylors are looking at everything else and saying "levi's cardigan!" or "alice in wonderland doorknob!"
it's getting exhausting but getting more mainstream has been definitely interesting. gawker even had a poll on twitter asking people if they thought she's gay or not (don't care as a third option) and yes has been winning. there was another poll on the gaylor sub on the ages of the people in the sub. both of those polls have felt very taylor's team researching. but I don't think she's gonna come out with this one. she has 4 more albums to rerelease and she's never gonna jeopardize that, just like she wasn't gonna perform at the super bowl before she's finished with the rerecords. maybe after but who knows what's going to happen until then
wait she has 4 albums? i thought there was only 1 more? but also idk hwo we even get the terms of her contracts anyways lol i trust u. but yeah i am trying not to be cynical about gaylorism entering the mainstream bc then people don't look at me like i'm actually insane when i try to explain it to them and that means that people are starting to like Get Her as a person and that means that taylor doesn't have that weird like bully blonde bad girl image still clinging to her which never made sense anyways lmao. but yeah i do kind o fmiss when the community was super small and insular but there have always been incredibly toxic pockets of it and there are always going to be lines toed when you're speculating about a real person's person life and relationships so like i get it. everyone has different boundaries. i just genuinely don't care about decoding stuff anymore i'm just here to listen to the music and like when shit is gay i just know it in my bones yknow? and i just think taylor is very sexy slay regardless of all that. ANYWAY idk if this answered ur question but yeah idk im just wary of new people because like even just the general public opinion towards queerness has shifted SOMUCH since the early gaylor days.
#srry im a little t*psy#this might not make sense but u also sent me a whole ass novel (affectionate)#ask#edit: read this back this morning and im drawing the line at levi's cardigan leave him OUT OF IT#also omg u said rerelease fhskfhdkdhd i just read it as release
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Ask tag game!
I HAVENT SEEN ONE OF THESE IN FOREVERRR. Was tagged by one of my favoritest people ever @tilapiamafia mwah
Last…
Beverage:
I dink my oiter! woke up stuffy from the fan being on all night
Phone call:
Could not tell u i ignore like 90% of the calls i get. I think my dad called me abt smthn they did or didnt have in the store.
Text message:
I sent my dad this picture
Song you listened to:
Roll Over Bethoveeeen by Ryoma Maeda (this is the only song of his i know. its in a playlist with clipping., death grips, lil mariko and more. this is my Sounds playlist titled :) ]
Time you cried:
honestly could not tell you. i need to cry more but alas
Have you ever…
Dated someone twice:
Not even once 😔
Kissed someone and regretted it:
nope. would like to kiss someone tho (if you could not twll i have not done Shit. the world is my oyster still)
Lost someone special:
also not in a death way but most definitely lol. we keep it pushing tho it is what it is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Been depressed:
Am. Im making it tho
Been drunk and threw up:
Never been drunk! or drank at all rather im not super interested. folks might try to get me smthn for my 21st but i still dont really care. most ppl talk abt alcohol tasting like pure chemical and i wont drink smthn if it doesnt taste good i have standards
Last year, have you…
Made a new friend:
Yeah! had the startling realization that the panny means one of my friends had seen my face for the first time ever bc we just met the past year (she said i had nice lips tho)
Fallen out of love:
yeah it happens. gotta stomp it out by force tho esp if the person wasnt good for me
Laughed until you cried:
all the time! i love a good laugh there is nothing more that i enjoy than to cackle, a hee hee hoo hoo, a tee hee, a giggle
Found out who your true friends are:
do you know how many fake ppl there are out here.
Found out someone was talking about you:
see above. i have "friends" who will talk shit abt me to my face. (yeah im bad at leaving shitty relationships when its all i got for mental health during semester sessions)
General
How many people on your fb friends list do you know in real life?:
i do not have facebook. likely never will. i barely have an insta
List 3 favorite colors:
not a color but my favorite color scheme is analogous (from blue to red) and i call these the blood colors bc it reminds me of textbook circulatory system diagrams. if i do have to pick 3 tho then wine purple, teal, and red (or pink. theyre the same color.) (this is basically again just blue to red.)
Firsts
First surgery:
never had any surgeries so im gonna say being a c section baby
First piercing:
My ears got pierced when i was a baby! my brother is trying to convince my mom to get his ears pierced tho (she agreed to one ear only) so whenever he goes im probably gonna get more. someone suggest some bc besides a couple more lobe piercings bc idk for sure what i want. I used to want lip and nose piercings but i think i can manage with just faux piercing rings for now
First best friend:
a military brat i dont talk to anymore. i will say one friend i still hold dear now i met before her, early in elementary, but we didnt really talk as much til middle school when we met again. i adore her sm she texted me the other day crying bc frosting colors are harder to mix than paint. shes doing her best baking and i believe in her
First sport you joined:
none. did do orchestra in hs tho! id love to play violin now but those hoes are expensive
First vacation:
probably just to the beach. never really had a chance to vacation in my life
First pair of trainers:
....you want me to remember the first sneakers i ever got????
Right now
Eating:
last thing i had was some strawberry cream pie it was real good :]
Drinking:
nothing i should get on that tho bc im thirsty
I’m about to:
https://youtube.com/shorts/KcKbwOFLibo?feature=share real answer is im goin outside. i want to draw some tho so idk the world is my oyster yet again
Your future
Want kids:
probably not im good enough being an auncle. i love my nephews the littlest guys ever
Get married:
i think so! i think id be content without one tho. if i do idk if id want a big wedding either or even a reception
Career:
i wanna be a character designer and i am going to believe i make it bc i have no other skills. (i know autocad but god i dont want to be doing autocad)
Which is better
Lips or eyes:
both
Hugs or kisses:
i dont like being touched too much but hugs
Shorter or taller:
just somebody. lord.
Older or younger:
dont really care as long as its not a weird gap but probably a lill bit older
Romantic or spontaneous:
also no idea what that means. idk ig romantic? i like to know ehats going on so spontaneousness can get on my nerves sometimes
Nice stomach or nice arms:
i appreciate both. i need my partner to appreciate a nice tummy tho bc i def have one
Sensitive or loud:
sensitive bc i dont like loud volumes ever lol
Hook-up or relationship:
Relationship i dont think i can do a hook up. i need to know someone before i try to do anything
Trouble maker or hesitant:
either way is fine. im v hesitant tho maybe i need a trouble maker
Have you ever…
Kissed a stranger:
naur
Drank hard liquor:
nope!
Lost glasses/contacts:
every fucking day in this goddamn hell hole. they fell when i got in bed i have no idea where they are.
Sex on first date:
nah i need to build trust
Broke someone’s heart:
idk. probs not but if i did oopsie daisy (◕_◕)
Been arrested:
nope!
Turned someone down:
yeah
Cried when someone died:
probably but i dont cry as often as i should so
Do you believe in…
Yourself:
i try to! bc who else is gonna do it if i dont first
Miracles:
no but if they happen then nice
Love at first sight:
no. a crush is not a love
Heaven:
not really but itd be nice to think about. dont think they'd let me in id be primed for like purgatory tho
Santa Claus:
https://youtu.be/4l5B5vlNN6w
Kiss on the first date:
yall can i probably never would
Angels:
would be cool could exist might not either way i have no control over it. i think some of my friends are angels tho (like the one battling with frosting colors)
i can feel that this ask list is probably from like 2015 lol. idk who else to tag but if you want to do it go ahead and tag me! @meicheesecake u have to tho.
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theres no way i have this.
look, heres all the proof you need. im whining about not having DID lmao
who truly has DID and does that? no. body. thats all the proof you need
people who truly dissociate suffer from it. i dont. i love the numbness from my body that experiences so much discomfort (not even chronic pain not even pain like all other DID systems have just fucking discomfort, mostly caused by autism hypersensitivity) i love the feeling of being detached from my own flesh prison ugly undesirable embarassing body. i am fucking faking im prob psycho or sum shit lmaooo
i dont even dissociate that badly. other real DID and even OSDD systems be out here so dissociated they dont even fuckin know their name and feel like nothings real all the time. i never forget my name or personal information, i just forget what i just thought or zone out daydreaming or sum shit and say "whoops! i dissociated sorry" or if im lucky, have few seconds long derealization in little few day long episodes. i dont even fucking dissociate for real. definitely not enough to have DID
i never had severe trauma. i was too disabled and shielded. fuck, the disabilities i was born with prob mimic DID. brain damage to the hippocampus, a majorly affected part of the brain in DID put two and together lmao. who knows how psycho the brain damage made me. im autistic and intellectually disabled, all people with intellectual disability are perverts they get arrested for sex crimes more than other people lmfao ofc i was hypersexual at 3 there was no sexual abuse i am too ugly to be sexually abused or even desired ofc im faking being sexually abused to make me feel better about myself lmfaooo i just cant live with the fact i was born a worthless undesirable unfuckable ugly pervert
if i had DID i wouldnt fucking remember when i was 3 who tf u kiddin
im sensitive to yelling and the least little "threatening" tone or touch or even fucking hand signal. if i was really sexually abused id be triggered by sexual shit, not the least little thing like a trauma free scared little baby
if i had DID id switch out more, especially when triggered or in situations where it would help. idk if i even switch out, i prob js fall asleep, wake up and do shit in the early stages of waking up i dont remember. instead my alters are just back there and do nothing when im being retraumatized and i have to call out mentally loudly to get any alters to respond anymore. then just trying to communicate with them gives me a headache from hell. proof enough my alters are delusions and im some psycho. most of my "alters" are just vague faces with voices and not much of identity. most of them fade away. just like delusions.
i feel like im worthless unless i was sexually abused. my whole worth depends on it for some fucked up reason. i will get defensive toward the two people i live with who say it didnt happen, they arent honest all the time but when they say theres no chance it happened bc i was too shielded even tho i have memories of being alone w him (no abuse memories bc fuck no) i believe it and feel iffy when i even wonder if i was sexually abused. when i think about any other form of abuse i suffered or trauma i have, i feel like that means i wasnt sexually abused. i have no memories of it, i never did until someone pointed out that my hypersexuality at 3 was a sign of sexual abuse so i went diving for the memories myself. then what i got were a few random half ass flashbacks to the sexual abuse. if i was really sexually abused i wouldve had flashbacks to it waaay before i made myself remember. everyone else with ptsd, did osdd etc does
other people with DID feel broken and suffer because of their trauma. they remember it somehow and suffer from the effects of it. i just suffer from wanting to have the trauma to be valid, not knowing if the trauma happened and having things trauma victims have but no memories of the trauma. the only flashbacks i have are to things i deserve, things that other people would agree i deserve and arent anywhere near as traumatizing as it can get for a real sexual abuse survivor. things that dont cause DID and rarely cause ptsd. i have cringe ass trauma. i dont have valid trauma.
i dont really have DID and i wasnt sexually abused. i just held onto the idea as an excuse for me being a worthless, born broken, jealous, delusional psycho pervert who will never amount to anything, never matter enough to get a job, marry or have a family, never mattered enough to be smart or do normal kid things because of my disabilities, never got to be cool and wont be, am trying to be cool and matter when i never will, am so ugly my body doesnt deserve love and sure as fuck wasnt sexually desired as a little kid how fucking sick of me to even want that to matter, and dont matter because of my disabilities. im sorry for faking it all. no wonder my denial was so strong, it was never real anyway. now im gonna do some major fucking harm to my ugly waste of space and resources body and kill myself. im fucking sick and tired of living in hell from my own brain torturing me saying im worthless and not valid and more i cant say here. good fucking bye.
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:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧.·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙ ✩ ̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙ .:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧
GUYS PLS ITS 2AM AND WOW okay so i was friends with this dude for like 2-3 years. We were inseparable for the first 1,5 year, then he did a shitty thing and i stopped our friendship, and then a few months after we made up. And then dun dun duuun we stopped being friends this autumn, i think somewhere in early october. Like i felt that its the right thing cus to be real he wasnt a good friend. Anyway its been yk a while, there were ofc times when i really missed him but not anymore, yk why??? HE'S SO CRINGE NOW. Like his spotify is umm questionable, his instagram is so cringe that when i sometimes stalk him its literally a comedy show and HIS DISCORD OMG i ofc dont want to say what he posts cus yk i respect his privacy (not like someone) but its smth like that: "fucked so hard my ass so tight" (btw he's gay) "being gay is my personality" "idc abt yall haters imma fuck where i want to", in one of the apps his name is literally the f slur. And um i think i dodged a bullet here cus??? He used to be pretty nice but idk, he turned into 15 year old whore:D Not like he cant do that but its just that its not really my kind of vibes and he changed so much since we stopped talking, i think it changed us both. Idk if he went to the better or worst but im deffinetly doing better:))) now whenever i'll miss him i'll just remember that a) he chose to declare that our friendship ended THROW UNFOLLOWING ME ON SPOTIFY b) he's so goofy hihi he literally looks like a karen clown i kid you not, i wish i could show u screenshots and drop names:(
#girlblogging#girlhood#im just a girl#i should go to bed#just girly things#ex friends#goofy goof#goofy#hihihi
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