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sapphire-writes · 9 months

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Our Last Summer (modern!HOTD)

part 6 of 10 || series masterlist || previous part || next part

pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Reader

summary: A girls night with Baela, Rhaena, and Helaena is infiltrated by the Targaryen boys.

word count: 4.7k

rating: Mature/Explicit/18+

warnings below the cut!

warnings: language, substance use (reader is smoking and drinking), p in v, slight exhibitionism, kissing, titty sucking, riding, neck kissing, ANGST

note: hope you enjoy my loves!! pls don't hate me

dividers by the lovely @firefly-graphics

as always, comments, reblogs & likes are appreciated but not expected

“Looking good Luke!” Rhaena calls from the shore.

You can spot Luke’s small frame aboard Seasmoke, and see him frantically wave as he continues out into the harbor. His brown curls blow wildly in the breeze. It’s a windy day, perfect for testing Seasmoke’s sails.

He’s been doing well so far- well as far as you can tell. Though you’ve spent nearly every day aboard the sailboat you still know very little about sailing. Luke had tried to explain it to you but became frustrated rather quickly.

Rhaena takes a picture with her phone, “For Jace,” she informs you.

“How’s his trip going?” you ask, knowing Rhaena talks to Jace more than Baela.

“He says it’s been cool so far,” Rhaena says with a shrug, “He doesn’t think he’ll be back for the gala though.”

“I thought he wanted to go to that?” you ask.

“He did, but he’ll definitely be back for the regatta,” Rhaena promises, “He won’t miss that, he knows how important it is to Luke.”

You smile, shading your eyes with your hand as you watch Luke on the water.

“He sounds like a good brother,” you comment.

“He is,” Rhaena says, “I know Baela has probably told you some shit about them, but they’re not all bad. It’s nice having brothers.”

“I think she just misses your mom,” you tell her.

Rhaena smiles sadly.

“All the more reason she should talk to Dad,” she tells you, “He misses her the most.”

Baela and Helaena are currently swimming, diving under water only to emerge moments later gasping with laughter.

“She’ll come around,” Rhaena says, more to herself than to you.

You sit next to her, letting the warm sand press between your toes.

As Baela and Helaena exit the water they run over to you, falling dramatically to the ground.

“We have the best idea,” Helaena says, grinning impishly, “My mom’s gone for the night. I propose an EGOSP.”

Rhaena gasps, clapping her hands together and you look around, confused.

“What’s an EGOSP?” you ask and Helaena narrows her eyes.

“What is an EGOSP?” she asks, horrified, “An Epic Girls Only Slumber Party of course.”

“Iconic,” Baela adds.

“Usually infiltrated by the inferior sex,” Rhaena adds.

You giggle, digging your feet deeper into the sand.

“Well, we have to let Egg hang,” Helaena muses, “He’s my plug.”

Baela groans.

“Relax, I’ll kick his ass if he misbehaves,” Helaena assures.

“What about Aemond?” you ask, and Baela shares a smirk with her twin.

“Do you want Aemond to crash?” Helaena asks, a smile tugging at her lips.

“Well…I mean, I just-”

“Chillax,” she assures you, “I’m just pulling your leg. I’ll tell him to hang around.”

“You don’t have to-”

“Of course I do,” she teases, “Besides he likes you, I can tell.”

Warmth pools in your chest and floods up to your cheeks at her words. Baela pokes you in the side, her fingers cold from the ocean.

“My bestie, getting a little summer romance,” she teases.

“Stop it,” you beg, flushing more with embarrassment.

Baela, of course, has never been one to listen to a command and keeps teasing you until eventually you chase her back towards the water’s edge. You spend the rest of the afternoon on the beach, watching Luke sail and bathing in the sun.

You make your way back to Driftmark later in the day to change and pack an overnight bag. Helaena and Rhaena made it their mission to pick up dinner at the Wolf Den and convince Sara to join in the EGOSP shenanigans.

You had quickly changed into a red two-piece bathing suit, one you brought specifically for the way it accentuated your ass while also making your boobs look phenomenal. You’d thrown on a cover-up and flip-flops before waiting for Baela at the foot of the stairs.

Rhaenys walks in from the living room, clad in a periwinkle colored floor length dress, her reading glasses propped on top of her head.

“Hello darling,” she greets you with a small polite smile.

“Hey,” you tell her, returning her smile.

“Shit!” you hear Baela call from upstairs, followed by the sound of something crashing to the floor, “I’m okay!”

You can hear her footsteps and watch her appear, shoving things into her bag, silver curls spilling over her face.

“Your father is coming over for dinner,” Rhaenys tells Baela as she hurries down the stairs.

“Won’t be here!” Baela says, grabbing a bag, “You ready?” she asks, noticing you’ve finished packing your things before her.

“Baela!” Rhaenys says, sighing, her voice tired.

“What?” Baela says, feigning innocence, “Look he should’ve told me earlier! We’re going to Helaena’s.”

“You can be back in time for supper,” Rhaenys insists.

“Sleeping over,” Baela says with a wince, “Girls' night. Making memories, you know?”

“Baela your father wants to see you-”

“He can Facetime me then!”

Baela is out the door before Rhaenys can say another word. She left so fast even you were left behind. Rhaenys sighs, looking towards the floor and you give her an apologetic smile. You can’t imagine how hard this has to be for her. You’ve seen pictures of Laena. Baela could be her twin.

The Targaryen-Hightower house is vibrating with music when you arrive, as though it should be a house party. But when you enter it’s just Helaena and Rhaena, jamming to the music, singing along.

“Where’s Sara?” Baela asks as Helaena wraps her in a hug.

“She’s covering for Cregan,” Helaena says, moving to embrace you.

“Boooo,” Baela says, as Rhaena pulls out a paper bag.

“But look what we got,” she says, pulling out a bottle of tequila.

You spend the beginning of the evening taking shots and eating the food Rhaena and Hel had picked up, before transitioning to the hot tub. Slightly buzzed, you can’t help but crane your neck, looking for the noticeably absent Targaryen brothers.

“They’re coming,” Helaena says, sparking up a joint, “Egg had to make another run.”

“I wasn’t even looking,” you argue.

“Cut the shit,” Helaena says, inhaling the sweet smoke, passing the joint to Rhaena.

You take turns as the sky grows darker and the automatic lights come on in the hot tub, pool, and yard. It truly is magnificent, and you can look out at the sea from where you sit, spotting the lights of Dragonstone and Driftmark.

The sliding glass door opens as if on cue and Aegon and Aemond enter the backyard.

“Wassup ladies,” Aegon calls, stripping off his shirt and immediately easing into the hot water.

Your eyes are on Aemond, and you straighten your back, shamelessly angling your chest out of the water.

What? A girl’s gotta do, what a girl’s gotta do.

Aemond’s eye flickers toward you and he nods politely at the others. He grabs the hem of his t-shirt with one hand pulling it effortlessly over his head. You try your best not to ogle at his defined abdomen and chest, but you can’t help it. Can’t help but follow the little trail of silver hair that disappears below his waistline, directly centered by the v of his hips.

And that stupid chain he wears with the silver coin, that dangles in your face while he-

Aemond slips into the hot tub across from you, leaving his arms stretched across the sides. The jacuzzi is huge, it could probably fit twelve people if they wanted it to. Aemond catches your eye and you hold his gaze.

He looks down briefly, so fast you almost miss it, but it was definitely an appreciation for your suit. Your mouth waters looking at him. You’re not sure what kind of spell he has you under, you’ve never wanted someone so much before.

“We should play a game,” Helaena says, passing the second joint of the night to Aemond.

You raise an eyebrow as Aemond takes a drag. You don’t know why, but you hadn’t pictured him as someone who dabbles in recreational drug use. He notices your expression and raises an eyebrow right back at you. It’s almost playful. You fight a smile as the joint continues to make its rounds.

“Truth or dare,” Aegon says, “Bae, you first.”

“Truth,” Baela says, through a cough, “I’m not stupid.”

“Boring,” Aegon teases, “Alright, last person you had sex with.”

Baela thinks for a moment, but you know the answer and start to snicker.

“Ali Martell,” Baela says, smiling at the memory, “And it was fucking great.”

She fails to mention how she broke poor Ali’s heart after leaving her on read a few weeks later. You smile at your best friend and she turns to her twin.

“Truth or dare?”

The game continues for a bit, back and forth between everyone. You’re made to hold tequila in a shot glass between your breasts for Aegon to take, Rhaena has to text her ex-boyfriend and Aemond tells all about the time he made Criston Cole cry during a tennis match.

It’s all good fun, everyone giggling and sharing secrets. Aegon ends up being dared to jump from the pool house roof into the pool, which he does so willingly. As he climbs out of the pool and back into the tub he turns to his brother.

“Truth or dare,” he says.

“Truth,” Aemond answers immediately.

“Again?” Aegon groans, “I’m giving you a tough one. It’s the witching hour now.”

Aemond shrugs, unfazed by his brother’s threat. It’s like Aegon can tell. Something changes in his bloodshot eyes like he’s turned into a predator going in for the kill.

“Tell us about Alys.”

The entire mood shifts. Aemond’s face hardens and he gives Aegon a warning glare.

“I’m not talking about that,” Aemond says cooly, trying to play off how tense he’s become.

You can see it in every muscle, as if he moves too quickly he’ll snap. Helaena is the one to move first, grabbing Aegon by the ear causing him to cry out.

“You’ve ruined the fun!” she tells him, as he swats his hand away.

“It’s a game, c’mon!” Aegon whines, but Helaena shoves him.

No one else speaks. You watch Aemond’s face, watch his cheeks flush with quiet rage.

Alys.

The game and conversation fizzled out after that. Aegon is first to leave, retreating back towards the house. Rhaena is next, claiming she’s hungry, and is followed by Helaena. Baela glances between you and Aemond, before giving you a wink and heading back inside.

“Take your time bestie!” Baela calls, closing the sliding door behind her.

You watch them in the kitchen for a while, before the three girls head upstairs, leaving the lower level in darkness. Aemond still hasn’t spoken.

He’s just watching you, his violet gaze observing you carefully as you stretch your hands toward the sky and arch your back. You can feel the tiredness in your bones, only accentuated by the heat from the jacuzzi.

The hot tub continues to produce numerous bubbles and you bring your hands just below the surface, giggling as you wiggle your fingers. Maybe it’s because you’re high, maybe it’s because the hot water feels so nice against your skin or maybe it's the way Aemond’s looking at you from across the hot tub; his head tilted slightly, the corner of his mouth quirked upwards in a small smile, his violet eyes sparkling.

You address the elephant in the room since Aegon had spoken nearly an hour ago.

“Who is Alys?”

The corner of Aemond’s mouth falls slightly, just enough that you notice before he tears his gaze away from you.

“No one important,” he says, the lie evident in the way his jaw clenches, the way his nostrils flare.

“Mhmm,” you hum softly, still swirling your fingers over the surface, “I love the water.”

Aemond flicks his gaze back to your face, watching you smile as you let the water slip through your fingers. You watch your fingers for a moment, the path they make like flying fish. Or dolphins. The thought of dolphins for fingers makes you giggle and you meet Aemond’s violet eyes once more.

“I was in love with her,” he says the words slowly as though it pains him to do so.

The smile begins to slip from your face, melting like a popsicle on a hot day.

“You were in love?” you ask.

Aemond holds your gaze, the intensity making you tingle from the top of your head down to your toes.

“A long time ago,” he says.

Curiosity crawls up your throat, and forces you to speak.

“Who was she?”

“A professor,” Aemond says, and your eyes widen, “I didn’t start at Citadel University. I spent my freshman year at Harrenhal University. But transferred out.”

He’s quiet for a moment, mimicking your movements, letting his long fingers cut through the surf.

“You slept with your professor?” you ask, voice sounding very small.

“Mhmm,” he says, “And fell in love with her. Like an idiot.” He looks up at you for a moment before glancing away and clearing his throat, “Anyway the school found out. Asked her to leave. And I never heard from her again.”

“Oh Aemond,” you whisper.

“I was a stupid kid,” he continues, “And I let it distract me from my studies. It made sense. The sex. That’s all it was. That’s all it ever is.”

“I don’t think so,” you argue, and he looks up again, “Not always. There are people who-”

“Who what?” Aemond interrupts, “Look at my mother and father, look at Daemon and Rhaenyra.”

You wince at the implications.

“What’s love good for, anyhow?” Aemond says, leaning back and looking over his shoulder out towards the sea, “Nothing.”

You watch him for a moment, admiring the sheen of sweat that coats his torso; he’s nearly glowing in the lights of the hot tub and pool. You want to keep prying, keep pulling apart bits and pieces of who he is. What Alys meant to him. But you decide to explore the safer route.

“Were you in love with Floris?” you ask, dipping lower into the hot tub until your neck and head are the only parts uncovered.

Aemond glances at you, his melancholy expression fading to one of amusement.

“What do you think?”

“I don’t know, that’s why I asked,” you tell him with a shrug.

“Come here,” he says, motioning you forward with two fingers.

You float towards him as though he has a string connected to your ribs, pulling you towards him. You stop when you’re directly in front of him, and he pushes away from the wall. Aemond brings his hands underwater, gripping you by the thighs and pulling you to straddle him as he sits. You wrap your arms around his neck, grinding down against the hardness between his legs.

Your heart flutters with anticipation as he strokes your thighs, moving up to caress the skin of your waist. His fingers tease the strings of your bathing suit bottoms, slipping underneath them.

“Floris and I had a similar arrangement,” he tells you.

You nod, eyes roaming over his face. He’s so beautiful, you don’t know where to look. Aemond notices your staring. It’s the weed, you know, it must be the weed making you think this way, feel these feelings.

“Are you worried I loved her?” he murmurs, and you roll your hips against him.

“She’s very pretty,” you tell him, your voice more breathless than you wish it was.

“So are you,” he tells you, “You’re a lot of things Floris isn’t.”

You cock your head to the side.

“What?” he questions.

“Is that a genuine compliment from Aemond Targaryen?” you ask, bringing your hand to your chest, “Never thought I’d live to see the day.”

“I’ve complimented you plenty,” he argues.

“You’re getting soft, Targaryen,” you continue to tease, “I think I’m growing on you.”

“You are not,” he insists.

“I am.”

“Are not.”

“Oh, yes I am!” you sing song.

“Shut up,” he insists, though there’s that smile again, tugging at the corner of his perfect mouth.

“Why don’t you shut me up?” you challenge, not sure why the threat poured so effortlessly from your lips.

Aemond smirks for real this time, looking almost predatory as his eye trails down your throat to your breasts then back up to your face.

“I think we both know that’s possible,” Aemond tells you, fingers ghosting the front of your bathing suit bottoms, “Our fun the other night get you all excited?”

Your breath catches in your throat as he drags a finger across your clothed center, pressing firmly against your clit.

“I think it got you excited,” you murmur.

“Oh yeah?” he asks, the smirk growing across his face.

“Mhmm,” you say, catching your lower lip between your teeth, “I think you were jealous.”

There’s a shimmer of something in Aemond’s eye. Something possessive. His grip on your thigh tightens.

“I told you, I don’t share,” he says with a shrug, “You seemed to enjoy yourself.”

“I did,” you tell him.

Aemond leans forward, placing a kiss on your neck, dragging his lips up to your ear.

“Everyone is just inside,” he murmurs, “But you want me to fuck you right now, don’t you?”

Your eyes flutter shut, hands fisting the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Don’t you?” he repeats, lightly nipping your earlobe.

“Yes,” you breathe, “Please-”

“No need to beg tonight, baby,” he assures you, moving your bottoms to the side, “C’mere.”

You lift your hips as he frees himself from his swim trunks and you waste no time sinking down on top of him. You shudder against him as you take him completely and he rubs soothing circles on your hips with his thumbs.

You gingerly lift up, rolling your hips against him, circling his cock, and causing some water to splash over the edge. You glance at the house; most of the windows are dark except for some small lights that cast shadows around the kitchen. You desperately hope everyone is in bed as a wanton moan slips through your lips.

“You look fucking gorgeous in this,” Aemond says, bringing his hand to stroke the strap of your bathing suit.

You smile, throwing your head back at your success. It’s true, it’s a miracle suit. Your breasts, barely covered by the red material, pressed together making your cleavage oh-so inviting.

“I wanted to kill Aegon,” Aemond groans, leaning forward and pressing his nose against your cleavage, “Fucking kill him.” You know he’s referring to the dare where Aegon took the shot from between your boobs.

He turns his head, kissing the side of your exposed breast before turning to do the same to the other. His hand snakes around the back of your suit, pulling the material from your body and letting it float away from you.

Aemond brings his mouth to your nipple, suckling at your wet breast, kneading the other with his hand. Sparks of pleasure dance down past your navel with every tug he affords your hard nipples.

“Yeah?” you ask, more of a whine than a question as you keep grinding your hips against him, desperate for friction against your aching clit.

Every roll of your hips has the head of his cock mercilessly rubbing against your sweet spot, pushing you closer and closer toward the edge. Your entire body feels like a live wire, and his hands caressing you only adds fuel to the flames. It’s like every sensation is heightened, every flick of his tongue, his lips.

“Mhmm,” he moans, the vibrations only adding to your pleasure causing you to cry out.

The sound echoes in the quiet night and Aemond pops off your breast, capturing your lips in a sensual kiss.

“You’re all mine,” Aemond says against your mouth, lifting his hips to meet your thrusts, “Keeping you all to myself.”

“Yes, yes, yes,” you chant, as he brings his hand between your legs, nimble fingers rubbing quick circles around your clit.

“That’s it, pretty girl,” he murmurs as you begin to shake, falling apart against him.

“Sh-shit,” you say, trembling against him.

Aemond continues rocking his hips up into your tightening pussy, dragging out your orgasm and propelling you towards another one. His jaw is slacked, pupil dilated with lust as he watches you shake on top of him.

“I can’t, holy shit, I’m-” You bite your lip, eyes screwing shut in sheer ecstasy.

“Fucking hell,” Aemond says, calloused hands gripping your hips, “Squeezing me so fucking tight.”

You’re a trembling mess, holding onto his shoulders for dear life as he bounces you on his cock. You're moaning obscenely as a second orgasm washes over you, a sharp whine leaving your lips at the intensity of it.

"Shhh," Aemond murmurs, pressing soft kisses to your neck, "I got you, I got you."

His thrusts turn lazy, before you feel his hot release, as he heavily exhales against your shoulder. You stroke his hair, nuzzling your face against him as he continues peppering kisses to any piece of exposed flesh he can reach.

You stay like that for a while before peeling yourself from him and grabbing your suit top. Aemond hands you a towel and you quietly make your way back into the house.

Aemond walks you to Helaena’s room, pausing outside her door.

“Goodnight,” you call, softly, placing your door on the handle.

You feel his fingers brush against your wrist, wrapping around it and gently tugging you away from the door. You let out a small squeal of surprise as he pulls you flush against him, connecting your lips in a sweet kiss.

It’s gentle; nice and slow as he parts your lips, slipping his tongue into your mouth and deepening the kiss. A sharp pang of desire throbs between your legs, and butterflies flutter in your stomach.

Oh shit.

Aemond’s hand finds the back of your neck, his other locking on your hip as he backs you against the door. Your back slams up against it; it’s just rough enough to steal your breath as he continues to kiss you.

It’s just the drugs.

He pulls away all too soon, leaving you pouting and leaning forward for more. Aemond smiles at that, stroking your jawline with his thumb.

“Goodnight,” he murmurs, still stroking your face, before reluctantly letting his hand drop.

“Goodnight,” you whisper again, letting your hands fall as well.

Aemond pulls away completely, heading down the hall toward his room.

You exhale the breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding once he’s safely inside. You open the door to Helaena’s room, tip-toeing over Baela who lies sprawled on the floor on top of an air mattress.

“Yo,” Helaena says softly from her bed, a bag of hot Cheetos nestled under her elbow.

“Hey,” you whisper back, hopping onto her bed and stealing a Cheeto.

“What were you doing?” Helaena asks, her brow raised in curiosity.

“Nothing,” you tell her, fighting a smile.

You spend some time snaking and giggling with Helaena before she drifts off to sleep. It’s harder for you to find sleep, your body feels like a live wire; electricity coursing through your veins. You know what this means, even though you don’t want it to be true. But the nerves in your stomach don’t lie, the way your heart flutters against your ribs at the thought of him.

You are in way over your head.

“Wakey wakey!” Baela says, poking your face, “Lazy asses! Let’s go!”

You groan, turning away from her. Helaena rubs her eyes.

“It’s early,” Helaena whines as Baela tosses her a sweatshirt.

“We have to get to Hotpies early or else all the tables will fill up,” Baela argues.

Helaena looks at you.

“Wanna ask Aem if he wants to join?” she asks, smirking slightly as she says it.

There it is, that feeling in your stomach again. Nervous butterflies. You eagerly nod, throwing on a sweatshirt and hopping out of bed. Baela shakes her head at you.

“Girl-” she begins.

“Shut up,” you tell her, cheeks flushing.

You quickly head out of Helaena’s room and down the hall, forcing yourself to walk normally. You take a deep breath outside his door before knocking. It’s ajar, swinging open as you do so. You peer inside the room. It’s airy, the windows open letting in the morning light. His bed is already made and Aemond nowhere to be found.

Aegon opens his door across the hall at that moment, yawning. As he opens his eyes he cries out, pressing a hand against his heart on his bare chest.

“Scared the shit out of me!” he accuses, running his hand through his hair, “Aem’s probably on a run.”

“Wanna grab Hotpies with us?” you offer.

“Sure,” Aegon says, moving across the hall and into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

You hear some noise downstairs and walk down the spiral staircase, hoping it's Aemond back from his run. You smile as you enter the kitchen, spotting him leaning against the counter, a glass of water in his hand. He’s wearing black running shorts, paired with an equally dark tank top; his silver chain is visible before disappearing below the neckline.

“Hey,” you say, coming up next to him, “We’re grabbing breakfast, would you like to join?”

Aemond glances at you sideways, taking a small sip from his glass.

“I’m good,” he says, voice cold.

The smile on your face falls slightly in disappointment. He doesn’t look at you again, just continues drinking his water, taking his phone out of his pocket. He’s got one airpod in and you can hear him change the song.

You stand there awkwardly for a moment, unsure of what to do. Why the sudden change in demeanor? You thought for a moment last night that you and Aemond were finally starting to get along.

Aemond finishes his water, moving by you and placing his glass in the sink. Your eyes follow him. He’s going to continue ignoring you, you can tell as he begins to leave the kitchen.

“Did I do something?” you ask, causing him to pause, turning to you slightly.

“No,” he says, matter of factly, the pout of his mouth dipping into a frown.

You stare at him, not buying it one bit.

“I just thought-”

“Thought what?” he asks.

You continue to stare. The smile has completely dropped from your face at this time, and the butterflies in your stomach suddenly feel like they’re made of lead. You can feel your throat tightening, and will yourself not to cry. That’s the last thing you need, to fucking cry in front of Aemond Targaryen.

“It’s just…last night,” you tell him, feeling foolish, “I thought maybe we were getting on.”

Aemond clicks his tongue before pressing it against the inside of his cheek.

“We get on fine,” he says, pursing his lips, “We fuck, and it’s fine.”

Your stomach feels heavy, and the tears prickle behind your eyes causing you to blink rapidly to stop them from falling down your cheeks.

“I thought we were…”

“What?” he snaps, “Thought we were what?”

“I don’t know,” you admit.

“Look, just because I got high with you and told you some pathetic sob story from uni, doesn’t make us friends. Doesn’t make you my girlfriend. You’re a convenient fuck. That’s all,” he says, clipping the words for finality.

You feel like you’re going to throw up. It’s like the room is spinning like the world has suddenly changed axes and you’re about to fall off.

“Fine,” you force the word out from behind clenched teeth.

You turn around as the tears begin to come, hurriedly moving to leave the kitchen.

“Forget that shit I told you,” Aemond calls, causing you to stop.

You take a deep breath, quickly wiping your cheeks, barely glancing back at him.

“Already forgotten,” you assure him, leaving the room.

Baela, Rhaena, Helaena, and Aegon are hurrying down the stairs as you round the corner, forcing a smile on your face.

“Aem coming?” Hel asks, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

“No,” you tell her.

“Oh,” she says, frowning as you loop your arm through Baela’s hurrying out of the house.

“Let’s go, I’m starving!” you tell them, forcing your voice to sound cheerful.

Aegon and Rhaena follow you, but Helaena hangs back for a moment. You turn your head, watching her frown in the direction of the kitchen.

“C’mon Hel!” you call. Just drop it.

She shuts the door behind her, and you all pile into her car. You take one final look at the house, watching Aemond’s shadow pass by the large glass windows. His tall frame pauses as he watches the car pull away down the driveway.

Rhaena reaches across and connects her phone to the speaker and suddenly SZA is blasting through the speakers. You force a smile as Baela glances at you, and force a laugh when Aegon makes a crude joke.

One thing is certain.

You’re done with Aemond Targaryen.

note: BESTIES ILYSM

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bodyswappertransforming · 1 month

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Barista to fireman.

Timothy was a peculiar soul, with his skinny frame, blonde hair, and glasses perched on his nose. He wasn't the typical cowboy type, far from it, actually. He preferred books to brawn and pixels to pistols.

One day, while wandering through the town's thrift store, Timothy stumbled upon a pair of worn, but sturdy rubber boots. Despite their size being a bit too large for his small feet, something compelled him to try them on. To his surprise, they fit perfectly, snugly enveloping his slender calves.

As Timothy walked out of the store, he felt a strange sensation wash over him. The sun seemed brighter, the air crisper, and his steps more purposeful. Little did he know, those boots held a magic of their own.

Weeks passed, and Timothy's transformation began. At first, it was subtle. His shoulders broadened, his posture straightened, and a hint of stubble appeared on his chin. He brushed it off as wishful thinking, attributing the changes to his imagination.

But as time went on, the changes became undeniable. His once-nerdy physique morphed into that of a rugged firefighter. Muscles rippled beneath his skin, and his stature grew taller and more imposing. His blonde hair darkened to a rich chestnut, and a bold mustache adorned his upper lip.

People in the town started to take notice. They whispered about the mysterious stranger who seemed to have stepped straight out of a western romance novel. Women swooned as he passed by, and men looked on with a mix of envy and admiration.

Timothy embraced his newfound persona with a mix of awe and trepidation. He reveled in the strength and confidence that coursed through his veins, but he couldn't shake the feeling of being an imposter in his own skin.

As Timothy, he was a quiet soul, content to blend into the background and observe the world from a safe distance. He harbored secret fantasies of adventure and heroism, but they always remained just that—fantasies. He never dared to take the leap and pursue them in reality.

But as the magic of the rubber boots began to work its spell, Timothy's mindset shifted. With each passing day, he found himself growing more confident, more assertive, and more determined to seize life by the reins.

He shed his old identity like a snake shedding its skin, embracing his new persona with gusto. No longer content to be a mere barista, he aspired to be something greater, something bolder. He adopted the name Steve—a name that exuded strength and authority, qualities he now embodied.

Gone were the days of timidity and hesitation. Steve tackled his new role with fervor, immersing himself in the rigorous training required to become a firefighter. He pushed himself to the limit, both mentally and physically, determined to prove that he was worthy of his newfound calling.

And as he donned the iconic uniform of a firefighter for the first time, he felt a sense of purpose wash over him like a wave crashing against the shore. He was no longer just Timothy, the coffee barista. He was Steve, the fearless protector of the town, ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead with courage and conviction.

As Steve, Timothy stood before the mirror, his reflection a testament to the incredible transformation he had undergone. He ran his hands over his chiseled abs, feeling the hard, defined muscles beneath his fingertips. With each flex, he admired the way his body moved, the way his newfound strength rippled beneath his skin.

Gone was the awkward, skinny frame of Timothy. In its place stood a man of power and presence, with broad shoulders, sculpted arms, and a physique that turned heads wherever he went. He couldn't help but admire the way his muscles tensed and relaxed with each movement, a tangible reminder of the hard work and dedication that had brought him to this point.

But it wasn't just his body that had transformed—it was his mind as well. Gone were the doubts and insecurities that had plagued him as Timothy. In their place was a newfound confidence, a belief in himself and his abilities that propelled him forward with unwavering determination.

As he gazed at his reflection, Steve couldn't help but smile. He was hot, there was no denying it, but more than that, he was comfortable in his own skin in a way he had never been before. He loved his new body, his new mind, his new confidence—all of it a testament to the incredible journey he had embarked upon.

With a final flex of his muscles, Steve turned away from the mirror “fuck I’m hot.”

#mental change #bodyswap #male transformation #personality change #firefighter

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grassbreads · 10 months

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I’d love to know about Yulma and how important it is to representation in shounen manga

This has been sitting in my askbox for a couple months (because I am incapable of punctuality), but anon sent this to me back when I was talking about Yulma over on my vnc blog. For those unaware, Yulma refers to Yu Kanda and Alma Karma from the manga D.Gray-man.

So the thing is, to be honest, I don't know if you can say Yulma is/was important for representation. They don't tend to get brought up as an example of representation (except by diehard d.gray-man fans like me, lol) in shonen, and their whole thing is complicated enough that I feel like the queerness of it all flies over a lot of people's heads.

However! They're very important to me personally, and I do think it's kind of remarkable their story came out in like 2010. Because even though their queerness gets overlooked a lot, it's like. really there no matter how you interpret it.

The short version of their very complicated story is that Kanda and Alma are a couple who were resurrected into new bodies. Alma was a woman when they were originally together in their past lives, but is physically male in the present. Kanda is still very much in love with them by the end of their story, which, depending on the reading, makes Kanda very bi and/or Alma very trans.

This sound like something you want details on? If so, let's talk about how D.Gray-man's fan favorite edgy badass toughguy character briefly became the star of his very own heart-wrenching tragic queer romance.

Here's a brief crash course in Yu Kanda and Dgm for the uninitiated:

D.Gray-man is a manga about a group of exorcists (in the loosest and most anime sense of the term) in the 1890s fighting a holy war against mechanical demons powered by the souls of the dead. There are two things you need to understand about this plot for me to explain Yulma:

The Black Order, the secret branch of the church that exorcists work for, has a long history of committing horrific human experiments to further the war effort.

Due to complications of world building, only a tiny number of people can become exorcists, and tracking down new ones is extremely difficult.

Yu Kanda is one of the exorcists, and though not the actual main character (that's the lad in my icon), he's a very important secondary character. Arguably he's the most important secobdary character, since he's the main guy's biggest foil and the first character to play deuteragonist in a major story arc. He's also a huge fan favorite. The character popularity polls that Jump used to do always had him and the mc going back and forth over who won #1 most popular.

Kanda was also a classic edgy toughguy character. His first two scenes are him almost murdering the main guy because he thinks he's an intruder, then complaining about people grieving for their friend too loudly. He never smiles. He argues with the righteous mc about wasting time/energy protecting civilians. He threatens (and delivers) violence on anyone that annoys him. He looks like this:

TLDR; Kanda was an adored-by-fans mean badass archetype in a 2000s shonen manga. Not generally the guy you peg for starring in a piece of queer romantic storytelling.

And for the entirety of the original anime adaptation's 103 episode run, for the first 188ish chapters of the manga, you do not learn a single thing about his early life. You learn he joined the Black Order very young, and you meet the mentor that took him in at that point, but although there are little hints, a couple cryptic mentions of him searching for a certain person, his early origins remain a complete black box.

Then came the Alma Karma arc.

This is the point where I start getting into spoilers.

To make a very long story short, the Alma Karma arc reveals that Kanda is one of the Black Order's human experiments. The Order ran a secret project 9ish years before the start of the series in which they essentially tried to re-use dying exorcists (since finding new ones is so hard). They took the bodies of dying or recently deceased exorcists and harvested their brains, implanting those brains into new magically grown child bodies.

Key to this project—the second exorcist project—is that these newly grown second exorcists were not supposed to remember anything from their previous lives. Kanda, however, recovered a few hazy memories from his past self. Most importantly, he can recall an unclear image of the woman that his past self was in love with. This memory gradually becomes Kanda's reason to live. He wants desperately to find and meet that person.

Now, aside from Kanda, there was one other successfully revived second exorcist. This was a boy named Alma Karma.

Over the course of their brief shared childhood, Kanda and Alma become extremely close. However, due to a series of horrible events that I'll spare you the details of, Alma is eventually driven to murder-suicide. He wants himself and Kanda to die together to spite the Order, and Kanda almost lets him do it.

The one thing that keeps Kanda from letting Alma kill him, the thing that drives him instead to kill Alma, his most beloved and only friend, is that he can't bear to die without finding that woman again.

Have you figured out the twist yet?

9 years later, in the present, Kanda discovers that he didn't actually quite kill Alma. The Order kept Alma secretly half-alive in order to do more dubious experiments. And, more importantly, when they meet again, Kanda discovers the truth. The woman that he's been searching for his whole life, the woman he's in love with, the woman he tried to kill Alma in order to find, was also killed and made into a second exorcist. And her brain was placed into the body of Alma Karma.

After quite a lot more violence and tragedy, Kanda and Alma end their story arc by running away together on their deathbeds. Alma dies, for real this time, in Kanda's arms, and his last words are to tell Kanda he loves him. These words are presented as something Kanda hears from both the boy and woman versions of Alma's soul.

So! At the end of a very long and complicated story, one thing holds true: Kanda and Alma are in love. As passed down from their past selves, they are specifically in romantic love. They were a couple. And to speak as a fan, the sheer absolute devotion to how Kanda's love for Alma is presented is seriously intense and moving.

Now, given the absolute hell that is Alma's life, gender identity is frankly the last thing they have time to worry about, so it's hard to say how the whole "literally a woman's brain in a male body" thing might have settled for them if given time to think about it. But that is inherently a pretty trans narrative. And given the whole Alma gender situation, there's simply no reading of their whole situation where neither of them is queer.

If you take present day Alma as a guy, which is more or less how he's presented in canon (though again, who knows how he would've felt about that male body in different circumstances), then congratulations! You've got mlm in your shonen manga. They were straight in a different life, but now one of them's a dude, and they are still deeply in love with each other. They've even got not one but two "let's forget it all and run away together" scenes, just as every mlm couple seems to have.

On the other hand, if you go with the angle that Alma's still a woman based on her mind/soul, even in her new body, then Kanda may not be canonically queer, but Alma is inarguably trans. Again, literally a woman's brain in a male body. It may not be how most people end up trans, but that doesn't change the facts of her situation.

You see what I mean about how they're undeniably queer, but also kind of easy to miss? There's so much other insane shit going on in their story that Alma's whole gender situation can get passed over. Plus, you can look online to this day and find people arguing that Kanda's not "technically" explicitly in love with the present day male version of Alma, since he doesn't 100% unambiguously say as much. I love reading comprehension.

Also! As a possible extra reason for why people don't talk about them much, the official English translation of the manga translated Alma's final "I love you" very differently. There's always a lot of nuance and argument when it comes to translating "大好き" into English, but given the full context of their relationship and the scene it's in, Viz's handling really sets off the censorship bells in my head.

Here's the different versions (Japanese then fan then official), if you want to compare:

Nothing more classically queer than censorship by way of questionable translation 🙃.

At the end of the day, Kanda and Alma are in kind of a strange middle ground. They're each in love with the other one, but the whole second exorcist brain transfer situation makes it complicated enough that people argue their feelings aren't explicitly romantic (and thus not gay) in the present. Alma is literally a woman's brain implanted in a male body, but we don't have time to dwell on the gender complications of all that because of the hell that is the rest of their life. They're canon but not canon—queer people whose stories don't have space for them to be queer.

However, given that all this messy, tragic ambiguity was published in a fairly popular shonen manga back in 2010, it still feels kind of remarkable to me. Alma is somewhat an antagonist (it's complicated), and he dies at the end of his arc, but once again, Kanda was/is the fan favorite! And when he re-enters the main story after Alma's death, he's more important than he's ever been, and his history with Alma continues to be a huge part of his character.

Katsura Hoshino took the much-beloved edgy toughguy character from her long-running shonen series and, after keeping his origins secret for such a long time, confirmed that his whole life has revolved around love this entire time. Almost every facet of his character can be traced back to his love for his lost best friend or his yearning for his past life's missing partner. And then she reveals that the best friend and the partner are one and the same.

You can go back and forth about the degree to which they work as representation, but in any case, I think their story is something people ought to know about. It's romantic and it's heart-wrenching and it's fucking wild, especially given the context in which it was published (a Shonen Jump spinoff in 2010). I never see anyone besides the few remaining hardcore dgm fans talk about them, and I think that's a shame.

So anyway, that's tale of one of the most insanity-inducing romances I've ever seen put to paper. I love queer people.

Here's some choice pages if you want to cry with me (the last two are a sequence):

#followers!! I know my demographic #I know that most of y'all are Tragic Queer Romance Enjoyers #and if that describes you. you should read this post #come learn about a truly wild piece of manga history #I bring you the gift of discovering Yulma without having to read almost 200 chapters of shonen manga for context #don't pass this up <3 #dgm #d.gray-man #yu kanda #yulma #alma karma #invasion of the frogs #also I really hope that at least one of the besties reads this and has a Realization about who/what my queue tag is a reference to #maybe I flatter myself to think that anyone remembers what my queue tag is. but I just think it would be funny <3 #also also. I really did not intend for this post to turn into an entire essay when I started writing it #so uh. whoops #ID in alt text #anon #ask

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blackestnight · 11 days

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HANAMI HAGANE

Nicknames: 'Hana-chan,' but attempt to use at your own risk.

Nameday: 31st sun of the 2nd astral moon (March 30th). ...I forgot her nameday again. Sorry miss Hagane.

Race: Au Ra Raen

Gender: Meh. She doesn't have strong enough feelings about her own gender identity to bother putting a label to it; most people default to 'she/her' pronouns when addressing her and she's fine with that, although she does object to being addressed as 'Lady ___' or other such courtesy titles—if someone must address her by a title, she prefers 'Ser.' Demigirl, if I were to ascribe modern language.

Orientation: Meh, with an added sprinkle of Not Your Damn Business if She's Not Trying to Fuck You. Her 'dating' history, sparse as it is, mostly consists of women, as does her metaphorical (and much more prodigious) little black book. She thinks of herself as not prone to romance, and a lot of her prior entanglements have been one-night stands or FWB arrangements. Romantic interest is much rarer for her than sexual attraction, and only tends to come after a long period of mutual trust and friendship. Again, using modern terminology, demi-romantic bisexual (with a slight lean towards women—her husband makes fun of her when she sees a giant, hot lady and her brain stops working).

Profession: Adventurer, goldsmith, part-time consultant with Garlond Ironworks (occasionally as an engineer, mostly as a sentient crash test dummy), nominally still the schoolmaster of Crown Gemworks.

PHYSICAL ASPECTS

Hair: Dark reddish-brown, very fine and straight. Usually featuring some amount of pink dye, a holdover from when she was a teenager and her mother dyed her hair for her; it's an unofficial Hagane family tradition/bonding ritual. These days she usually keeps it trimmed to about the length of her chin, but for most of her adulthood she wore it down to her lower back.

Eyes: Green (although historically people have been confused on this point). (Is the confusion mostly the result of my being color blind? Yes.) Her limbal rings are a very bright, pale blue, which throws people off and gives her a delightfully creepy glow-in-the-dark look.

Skin: Warm brown. She probably has an impressive farmer's tan.

Tattoos/Scars: Her most notable scars are on her right forearm (a strangely sigil-like pattern of lines and circles stretching from wrist to elbow that appear to be raised and warped veins, the result of voidsent intervention in her final fight against Zenos in Ultima Thule); her lower torso (a diagonal line from her hip to the bottom of her ribcage, also from Zenos during the assault on Rhaglr's Reach); the back of her right thigh (from a drunken misadventure on a roof in her early twenties); and of course her left horn, which was severed (again by Zenos, or rather Elidibus in Zenos's body in the Ghimlyt Dark) and replaced by a hardsilver prosthesis. While some people assume her iconic face paint is a tattoo, she actually doesn't have any because she's scared of needles. She will not admit to being scared of needles.

FAMILY

Parents: Shomi Hagane is the matriarch of the Hagane clan, a family of samurai who have been serving the lords of Doma almost since its founding. She was raised in Monzen in her family home, and remained there until shortly before the Garlean invasion of Doma, when she begged then-king Kaien for leave to take her wife and young children to the countryside, safely out of reach of the imperial forces. Kaien thanked her for her service and allowed her to flee, thus ending over three centuries of Hagane service to the Rijin line. Maki Sunwalker (née Urabito) is the oldest child of a merchant family from northern Yanxia, though she was disowned as a teenager when she left her family to study the ways of the shinobi in Shinobi-no-Sato. She worked actively as an assassin and spy in service to Doma until the invasion; after Doma's fall she officially retired to become a farmer, though her 'errands' would occasionally take her to Garlean strongholds for days at a time and leave her knives suspiciously bloody.

Siblings: Hanami is the second of five children and the oldest surviving Hagane child; her older brother Akinaga died in the failed uprising at Monzen. Her younger brother Haruki has long been considered her partner in crime and currently splits his time between adventuring and working with the guard of the Doman Enclave. Her two youngest siblings are twins, Itomi and Naonaka; both were conscripted into the Garlean army after the uprising and sent to Ala Mhigo, where Itomi was promoted to Decurion and Naonaka worked as a healer. After their return to Doma, Naonaka moved to the fishing hamlet of Isari and Itomi left for Kugane; neither are currently on speaking terms with Hanami, though Naonaka has made overtures toward his brother and mothers.

Grandparents: None worth mentioning. Shomi's parents were killed during the first failed Garlean invasion, when she was three years old; she was raised by the collective efforts of several other noble families in Monzen, including the Daito family (as a result Gosetsu sometimes jokes that he's Hanami's honorary grandfather). Maki's family disowned her as a teenager and she hasn't had contact with them in almost fifty years.

Others: Hanami has a nephew, Munehise, who is the light of her life. Mune's biological mother isn't in the picture, and Hanami helped Haruki raise him until she left for Eorzea; since her return to Yanxia during Stormblood she's less involved in his day-to-day life, since she's adventuring, but she's still solidly in the 'favorite auntie' slot. (Mune won't say it out loud—the one time he tried is the only time he's ever seen Hanami genuinely upset—but he thinks of her as more of a mother figure than his actual mom.)

She has a bevy of cousins, including Kotone and Honoka (c/o @windupnamazu) and, semi-reluctantly, a brother-in-law (A'dewah on loan from @fistsoflightning). (She loves A'dewah because Haruki loves him. This does not necessarily mean she likes him.) Hanami's moms are also serial adopters, so as soon as Ninira (@nuclearanomaly) and Estinien got within fifty feet of the Hagane household they were trapped.

Hanami inherited the adopting addiction, and legally she's Rielle's ward (after a trial following the murder of Ystride de Caulignont). She also considers herself responsible for Ryne and Gaia, but in more of a hard-ass aunt way. She takes frequent trips to the First to continue their training as baby tanks.

She married Aymeric shortly before the start of Endwalker and has reached a tentative accord with his elderly cat, Mandragora, who recognizes a fellow grouchy predator when she sees one. Mandragora would take much more kindly to any half-elezen half-au ra kiddies, though...

SKILLS

Abilities: Master martialist, specializing in greatswords but having recently taken up polearms (specifically scythes). Practitioner of the dark arts as taught in the tradition of Ishgard's Dark Knights, and an (somewhat fumbling) initiate in voidsent summoning. Metalworking, with her most extensive training being in goldsmithing, though she takes on several other projects including quite a bit of engineering with the Ironworks. She was also raised on a farm and trained as a botanist, so her green thumb is nothing to sneeze at, though she mostly gardens for sustenance rather than for pleasure or aesthetics.

Hobbies: Hiking, sketching (mostly landscapes and technical drawing), riding her bikes, scaring the shit out of Ishgardian priests.

TRAITS

Most positive trait: Constancy. Hanami is loyal and unwavering—once she's named you an ally or chosen a course of action, that's set in stone. She says exactly what she means and does exactly what she says.

Worst negative trait: Stubbornness, perhaps as the natural flip-side of her positive trait. Her mind is near-impossible to change once it's been made up; she's reluctant to listen to arguments or accept help when she thinks she's better working on her own.

LIKES

Colours: Black, red, green, blue. Mostly jewel tones.

Smells: Campfire smoke, river water, morning mist, blooming honeysuckle, hot metal, clean cotton.

Textures: Fresh sheets, cool grass, calloused hands, polished leather.

Drinks: Tea (hot), fruit juice (cold), the occasional tiny sip of whiskey.

OTHER DETAILS

Smokes: Occasionally, although she prefers fogweed to tobacco. She's been known to pass a joint around with some of the other Scions in their downtime.

Drinks: Not anymore. She drank recreationally through her young adulthood, and developed alcoholic tendencies shortly after Operation Archon, in response to the stress of the Doman refugees arriving in Mor Dhona. She very abruptly swore herself to sobriety midway through the Crystal Tower expedition; speculation says there was some kind of incident that prompted the change, although the only people who seem to have any idea of what happened are Cid Garlond and G'raha Tia, and neither of them are talking. Thancred has been her recovery buddy ever since.

Drugs: See above if you count fantasy weed as a drug? She does not tolerate soporifics well at all and actively avoids them, although rumors in Ul'dah say she has some sort of...history with the Alacran, who are infamous for peddling somnus. She used to dabble with various hallucinogens when she was younger but had given them up by the time she left Doma.

Mount Issuance: She has an ancient issuance for a Maelstrom chocobo rotting in a drawer somewhere, but she can't stand the smell of horsebirds so she never used it. She has a burgeoning collection of motorcycles courtesy of Garlond Ironworks, including a custom one-of-a-kind combat bike, and she probably also has a horse back in Yanxia but this game won't give us normal ass horse models. If she's not able to use her bikes or ride a horse or a falcon she prefers walking.

Been Arrested: Twice. They say you can still find pieces of her sword embedded in the wall of the Tribunal. Attempt at your own risk.

tagged by @gatheredfates!

tagging @aethernoise @kukurubean @nuclearanomaly @nophicas-ward and YOU!

#oc: hanami hagane #final fantasy xiv #character meme #ty sea!!!!#long post

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