#i'm very awake | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

canisalbus · 1 month

Note

You mentioned before that the people who would have access to Machete's bedchamber would likely already know about Vasco. How did that come up in your mind? Did they get caught in the act or was the subject broached with enough trust? How did those people handle it? Sorry if this is a bit vague but I thought about it today and I'm very interested. :)

I think it just has to be the case, I can't imagine how they could manage to hide the fact Vasco is bunking with him from everyone, for years and years. Machete doesn't live alone, he has staff and servants who do his housekeeping and run his errands. Even if Vasco didn't stay there for any extended periods of time and snuck out the back door to avoid attention, I'm assuming at least the people who do his laundry and change his sheets would eventually detect that some sort of funny business had happened. But the number of people who are in on it is still very very small and tightly controlled. His assistant Vittorio definitely knows and helps to manage this situation, so does his personal doctor, and on top of that maybe a handful of most trusted high-ranking emplyees, which he has vetted extremely carefully and pays handsomely for their discreetness and prudence.

#or something along those lines surely there has to be a way for this to work people have had secret affairs since the beginning of time #if you hire someone #or more likely promote someone you know who has worked for you for years and has proven to be trustworthy and unlikely to betray you #and there's a very high risk that that person will find out your secrets it's better to bring them to their attention yourself #in a controlled setting ahead of time #instead of waiting to see if/when you're caught and not knowing how they will react #right?#and his private quarters are indeed private you don't go snooping in there without a good reason and an official permission #answered #anonymous #Vaschete lore #Vasco hanging around there often probably isn't an immediate red flag it's a big house and people can have friends and guests #plus at the time it was generally more common and accepted for two men to be close friends and openly attached to each other platonically #it's sunday morning and I'm awake trying to piece together the practical logistics of #maintaining an undercover long term relationship between two 16th century statesmen

240 notes · View notes

tblsomedoodles · 19 days

Text

The Preferable Alternative- Part 5

Start - previous - next

Sleepy Raph, my beloved : )

#tmnt #rottmnt #preferable alternative #my doodles #rise mikey #rise leo #rise raph #rise donnie #raph: I'm too tired to tired to do anything except sit here #*opportunity to pick on little brother appears*#Raph: i'm awake enough for that #i didn't think i'd update much this week #b/c my week is very busy #but apparently my brain is like ''busy week be damned we're drawing''#idk if i'll be able to post another by friday #if not i'll do some fw doodles or something

307 notes · View notes

mewtwo24 · 3 months

Text

Not to be That Guy but like.

Am I the only one that can't stop thinking about how Tianlang-Jun says about Luo Binghe that he pretends to be cold-hearted like his mother. The hint of fondness there, the heartache in that utterance.

Like it drives me absolutely insane. Imagining her putting on a front of strength, cold and driven and unrelenting. Why does TLJ say that about her. Did she secretly look for solutions that meant reconciling with demons instead of hurting them when her sect wasn't looking? (I wonder this because I feel like his weird fondness for SQQ would lowkey track if it's connected to the woman he once loved.) Did he mean that she was tasked with basically assassinating him and she fell in love with him instead (re: failed step one)? Did he mean that she was fond and doting in her own way (e.g. conceding he was attractive, paying for his exploits and humoring him)? Did he mean that, like LBH, she thought that power would be the thing to protect her--and that it was disguising a person who was deeply and privately wounded? All four????? I don't need sleep I need a n s w e r s

Did she know about the Huanhua Palace Master's skeevy ass intentions before she met TLJ? Or did those only come to significant light after she fell in love with TLJ? Is that why she never anticipated that level of betrayal, because initially she had no intention of being with anyone romantically? And HHPM just assumed she would be under his thumb forever?? Was she furious at her own indiscretion or did she try to use the pregnancy as a bargaining chip, a way to try to stop the immortals of Cang Qiong Mountain from attacking TLJ (plus the bonus of marriage entrapment no takesies backsies this is where LBH gets it from)? Did she try to use that claim on her to dissuade HHPM from his covetous advances, framing herself as tainted so that she could finally escape? Did she dream of a life by TLJ's side, far away from Cang Qiong Mountain?

Like. Literally every single permutation of what this could mean guts me to hell. Do you ever just cry about tianxi because I--[loud bawling noises]

#svsss #tianxi #tianlang jun #su xiyan #like this shit keeps me awake at night #i'm trying to put fic ideas together and every time i go back to that line i just #find myself trying to parse and hone out su xiyan's mannerisms/personality #zzl's descriptions help a great deal but i also love that they're limited in the sense that #1. zzl was clearly scared shitless of/disconcerted with her LMFAO #2. he was suspicious of her (as a cultivator fundamentally) and its fascinating that TLJ did not seem to share this suspicion at all #or one could argue tlj just didn't care beyond his attraction and glee being around her jkahglfdskjhsfkhjg #there is also the hilarious implication that part of what turned tlj on so much about sx is the fact that she could prbly kill him #tlj really said 'i love a woman who can and WILL kick my ass'#'none of that soft power seduction shit manhandle me or nothing'#like he always believed deep down--or at the very least wanted to believe--that she loved both him and lbh dearly #i'm not usually the fix-it fic type but the Way I Need To See Su Xiyan Destroy Huanhua Palace Master's Entire Life.#i just want sx and her boytoy to live happily ever after is that so wrong?#i also think of that person (im so sorry tumblr user i dont rmr who u are at the minute) that said there had to be trust between tlj and sx #because YES. ABSOLUTELY. I AGREE. AND I WANT IT FOR ME #don't mind me just the usual descent into madness anytime i think too hard about svsss #i need to outline damn you airplane and your refusal to expand on LBH's juicy ass backstory #ill never forgive the chinese (joke)

228 notes · View notes

miguxadraws · 2 months

Text

more rat

i will try to control myself now i swear

sillies belong to @spitinsideme

235 notes · View notes

sergle · 5 months

Note

I feel you, its so bad 😭, I had to go on a functioning adult human schedule for school and good god, out the house by 7am... bad bitches are not built for that..

WE REALLY ARE... and man, I can brute force myself into any schedule if there are things that HAVE to be done at certain times (like school, like you said) but it absolutely never feels "right". it feels like waking up at 3am to go to the airport type of shit. and it is truly so annoying... to get hit with the "that's a Normal schedule, you need to Fix your schedule" okay. alright. but let me hit you with this one. is it "normal" or is it just conducive to a 8 - 5. because no matter what my sleep schedule is like, or how locked in I am, I'm more clear headed at night + more productive and energetic. and no matter what, I'm tired during the day, especially the brightest times of day when the sun is allegedly supposed to be signaling my brain to be awake and alert. and it doesn't matter how much sleep I got.

#I can wake up in The Early Morning after going to bed at a reasonable hour the night prior and be exhausted throughout the daytime #and if I make it to the night then I'll suddenly perk back up. if I woke up at 7am that morning (with 8 hours of sleep under my belt)#I can comfortably stay awake until 5 or 6am that very next morning.#I need to Adapt to the daytime schedule- but if I loosen my grip on myself at all I will instantly SNAP back to the nighttime one.#full rubberband moment.#I don't need to transition back into it. my body just wants to click it back in place #I'll go right back into the swing of it as soon as I'm allowed to again #sergle answers #also I don't have trouble sleeping in daylight hours. yeah I have the curtains drawn in my room #but they aren't Blackout curtains. it's dim in there but not Dark. that doesn't impede me at all #it is crazy the way that people are so confident in telling me to my face that I'm on a bad and lazy schedule #bc they are categorizing my wake-up time as 'sleeping in' bc they're measuring it on their standard of when THEY go to bed.#i could go to bed at noon and wake up at 3pm and they'd say that i slept in

153 notes · View notes

alicornze7 · 2 months

Text

this is what happens when you get 4 hours of sleep for 3 days straight send help-

I love flirty comedy gangle

(even tho she's so bad at it jsjsdhj)

Oh! And happy women’s day btw, pic is unrelated

#Ribbun #tadc gangle #tadc jax #minimum wage jax #So this is my sense of humor when I'm sleep deprived #good to know #idk what else to tag #tadc fanart #The silly commentary in the tags is no more:(#i ran out of tags #the amazing digital circus #I'm starting to think I simultaneously require very little sleep and a lot the same time #Like I'll be wide awake at 2 am in the morning and be collapsing in class at like 2 pm

146 notes · View notes

eyes-of-nine · 7 months

Text

he lived, he served cunt, he got put in a psych ward and probably some other shit but I've been too busy looking at all the domestic fluff to figure out the lore

#agshsghd these are still very much early sketches just trying to figure out how I wanna draw the guy ywy #I am struggling so badly to not fall into my old phobs imitation strickes that never really worked anyways.....#tricks*#AHSGSJGSJSHS #AGAJFSJSHSJSHSHJSKHDJD #to my mutual who very muchs knows who they are I am sorry for how annoying i'm going to become #i work like a sleeper agent for both phobs art and murder gingers and well....#fun fact old asher designs circa 2018/19 were heavily phobs coded so you partially have this mfer to blame for asher's rizz #unfortunately this resurgence means I once again have to face my worst enemy....drawing straight hair #agsjsgshdhhd i have way to many things to say but I need to stop bc I need to be awake in....less than two hours fucc #sergey razumovsky #....i don't actually know what I should tag this as whoops://#major grom #major grom plague doctor #bubble comics #ig #idk #aight i'm out #my art #mgpd

191 notes · View notes

maxsix · 24 days

Text

#san #choi san #ateez #when will he go to sleep #he's a menace when he's awake #i need him to rest and sleep and not post for 24 hours #but truthfully i hope he had the best time ever #he deserves all the good things #i'm very proud of him

66 notes · View notes

ratcandy · 3 months

Text

Now that I have some base designs for everyone here's a rough height comparison!

Not included: Sozo is somewhere between Shamura and Kallamar while Arylide (my yellow cat) is about the same height as Leshy if maybe a bit shorter.

Some other design notes,

The Lamb is extremely tiny because I think its funny. Also because way back in 2019 I made and got super attached to a personal OC who was also cult leader who was itty bitty tiny so now I'm attached to that idea

Technically if you stretched Leshy out all the way he would probably be taller than all of them. Except Kallamar, because if you stretched out Kallamar and counted the length of his tentacles, he'd be obnoxiously tall

Shamura can also prop themself up to be taller if they so choose but they do Not choose that often

Clothing-wise things are a mess. I'm not very good at designing clothing, always been a weak point of mine, but there are some small things I'm trying to go for specifically:

Leshy wears the cult symbol because, though he expressly denies it, he got comfortable the fastest of all his siblings. It helps that Aryl is here but even aside from that...... He's the deity of Chaos, even if formerly. He can adapt to whatever he wants to

Narinder is wearing a complete stand-out thing from everyone else. Nothing Bishop-like and nothing Lamb Cult related. He put together that hooded cloak himself because he misses his old one

Shamura is figuratively stuck between two worlds at the moment (having little to no memories of Anything prior to cult life but still having this lingering feeling) so they've got both cult attire and bishop-look going on at the same time.

Kallamar said FUCK your GROSS cult attire I am wearing FANCY ROBES. The rest of you can go die

Heket is #1 lamb hater in the entire world and utterly refuses to wear anything with the cult's symbols. She's going for more of a bishop look because heresy be DAMNED she hates it here and wants everything back how it was

Misc,

"why are Narinder's eyes still like that" because it looks cool

I am thinking of Maybe giving Leshy arms. He might deserve some arms. Yes it will clash with the rest of the Centipede look but again he's Chaos he can do whatever he wants forever

Leshy also has antennae I just make them super thin lmao

Nari has whiskers but I just never draw whiskers . Always forget. In the same vein that Shamura is covered in setae but I am not drawing a ton of individual setae so you'll just have to trust me on that

If Heket's legs are not drawn massive that's not Heket she MUST have giant frog legs or I will riot. She could leap over the chapel and I will not have it any other way.

#um Yippie!#expect these designs to go through a very gradual changing process . in a few months if I'm still fixated #they will look completely different. promise you that.#cult of the lamb #cotl lamb #cotl narinder #cotl leshy #cotl shamura #cotl kallamar #cotl heket #cotl bishops #clamart #it's 1am ive been awake since 8 this morning AUUUUUGHHHHHH explodes

106 notes · View notes

zaphiyy207 · 8 months

Text

Trouble Trio

POV: They tell their eldest crime partner about you

If their plan went wrong, they know they can rely on one that will destroy a planet just to back them up.

Because I love making everything about Meta Knight OOC. Well not too OOC but something funny and I can't get rid of it.

Summarisation: Despite his serious nature, Meta Knight is very mischevous and would even do something stupid alongside the two. Dedede can only sigh, being the only responsible adult between the four. (He sometimes joins in)

#meta knight #kirby #bandana waddle dee #king dedede #crack squad #they are the idiots and i don't make the rules #also this is a very rough sketch because im currently trying to stay awake throughout the graduation #it took 3 hours for the event to start #of course I'm tired #enjoy crack

154 notes · View notes

canisalbus · 8 months

Note

IDK if I'm phrasing this correctly, but in my brain, Vasco is, like, the personification (caninification?) of an afternoon chilling on a back porch swing.

#ah #that's adorable #I can totally imagine him doing that #answered #anonymous #Vasco #to me he usually conjures the feeling of being warmed by sunlight #winters in northern Finland where I'm from tend to be pretty rough at least for me they are #they last about six months or so #sun starts to set earlier and earlier until it gets dark before 2 pm #in december the sun barely rises at all it's like this brief moment of twilight at noon between two 22+ hour nights #it gets harder to wake up in the morning and your energy levels plummet you go into battery saving mode #polar night messes up your brain seasonal depression gets really bad #and the cold and dark goes on and on and you feel like you'll never feel warm or happy or properly awake again #but eventually it starts to veer towards spring and on one day you notice that the sun is shining??!?!#not like bleakly and weakly but proper sunlight with warm hue and capability to actually warm the things it touches #you've forgotten what it looks like when it's truly light outside #and it's the craziest feeling to see bright natural light it blinds you and pierces right through into your very core #being kissed by the sun for the first time in months feels unreal it feels SO GOOD #I don't know it's probably not that big of a deal for people around me #but I personally react to things like changes in temperature and the amount of daylight pretty massively #I like to think that Vasco is a first ray of sunlight hitting you after you've spent what feels like an eternity in someplace cold and dark

214 notes · View notes

blinkpen · 5 days

Text

random doodle sketchbook stuff, i made no attempt to tie anything together with any coherent theme, though similar ambient currents exist, i don't have spoons to overthink that these days lmao

#mog art #doodles #artists on tumblr #grimstone #lamarr #bianca border #milkweed #demersa #20q #zoetrope #necrin #relic v2 #jaren #cable epis #blood cw #body horror cw #angel cw #ask to tag there's a lot of stuff in here i'm not very awake atm

45 notes · View notes

bleaksqueak · 8 months

Text

Elias, my lad…

#solivaga #pu art #have a snippet #i’ve still been busy #still need to tend to my inbox #have a boy in return for forgiveness #at this rate it would be wise for me to just answer asks and queue them to post during normal hours #bc i'm awake and alert lately at like the witching hours lol #and during the general traffic hours i'm at the end of my day and very poo brained

113 notes · View notes

beanghostprincess · 7 months

Text

reiju being the only vinsmoke child that has feelings and can empathize is pretty much obviously referencing the whole "unlike boys, girls are emotional" thing that has always been said to disregard women's positions of power and strengths, assuming that empathy is not a strength itself.

from men's pov, girls are: emotional, weak, sensitive, empathetic... they're the ones doing the "simple" house tasks like cooking, cleaning, taking care of things instead of destroying them.

that sounds, kind of, exactly to what sanji is. sanji's "failures, weaknesses, malfunctions..." are literally what is expected to see in women.

they tell him to man up. to be stronger. to stop crying because boys don't cry. how could he cry?! how could he dream?! how could he cook and be nice to others and feel? how could he be a good person when he's a man and men are expected to be bigger than anyone else. he should take up space, not give it to the ones who need it. he should scream at the top of his lungs, deeply and loudly, not gently. he should take and take and take and he should not give because men are meant to own, not to offer. he shouldn't be clever, he should act. he shouldn't be sad or in pain because men are supposed to take it and swallow and bear with it. he shouldn't be hungry. hunger is for the people who lack food and if you lack food you're weak and if you're weak you're not a man. and lack means wanting, but why's he craving something when he should just take it and take it and take it? so he shouldn't eat because eating is meant to be for pleasure only, if you're a man, and if you need it you're weak because he shouldn't need. he should want and take and never need.

he cries when they kick him and he begs when they take someone away from him. because he's weak. because he loses and loses and loses and never wins only because he isn't man enough to cheat. he goes through life asking first, acting second. he doesn't play dirty, like a man should, but lives in a clean state of pureness and delicacy. he has to be clean to cook, of course. clean to be good. but men don't cook and they are allowed to be as bad as they want. but he isn't, is he? because he feels. and feels and feels until it's too much. so much that it explodes and it breaks and his soul shatters. soul that he shouldn't have in the first place because men are a fortress with enough strength to ignore what's inside. and he is weak. he is small. he is hungry.

god, he's so hungry. but not for power or money or women- well, he is hungry for women. for their soothing voices and soft touches and angry glances that are always a bit too much for his poor heart to handle. he never asks much, just a bit of them. crumbs to feed his starving heart. he finds comfort in women the same way a man destined to death would consume his last meal. he's on the verge of falling but he can't, because men do not fall, they are the ones to push. so he's hungry, but he doesn't eat because if he did, that would mean he needs it and then he wouldn't be a man.

men should fight and not defend, but he's always protecting and never fighting. he fights to protect, never himself, always others. he fights to defend his weak self, but it can't be called fighting when the only thing he does is taking. and he learns to take it without a single word or prayer escaping his lips because a man should not do that.

he's different. a failure. a mistake. a good for nothing. not a man. not powerful like a vinsmoke should be. not godly and royal like his family is. machines built to kill and destroy and take and take instead of living. but sanji likes living. he likes breathing and eating and smiling and feeling and giving and giving and giving until he doesn't have anything to offer. he likes being alive and feeling.

so he has to be human, if not only a malfunction in their mom's womb.

human, but not quite, because being human means being like the rest. the definition for human is "not a vinsmoke", in his perception, so he has to be. he is. he is human. he wishes to be, at least, part of the mankind.

man. man. a man. that's what he should be. that's what he is. vinsmoke men are not just men. they're men. and being only a man should be different, but it isn't. it will never be.

he is human, but not really. he's not a vinsmoke, that's for sure. but he's not human, either, he's still different.

because when he gets out of there, the fire of the stove still burns his hands. and he can cook. yes. he realizes he can cook and he can enjoy and live and give and give and it's liberating to know he can and will live. but he can't dream because dreaming of impossible things —like blue, deep, magic seas— isn't meant for rational men. he's following the recipe wrong, all over again, and he doesn't know what the hell is going on if all the ingredients are right.

then he is hungry again. hungry for life. and food, too. and he has never felt weaker and less of a vinsmoke, but more of a human. he bleeds and cries and begs and starves like any human would and yet... he isn't a man. he isn't a real person. and maybe it's still in his blood, despite having ran away, the malfunction in his veins. there is something deeply wrong with him. down to his core.

and he can't figure out what, but he can starve. so that means he's human. but he's not a man. because men don't starve. they take what life gives them and don't need to eat if they can't. zeff is strong and wide and the manliest man he has ever met. and yet he's hungry, but he doesn't eat. he doesn't eat because he gives. he gives food to a kid who doesn't even deserve to eat. he gives food to a kid, not a man, because if he was a man he wouldn't need to eat.

so he just needs to grow up and become a man, he thinks. that's it. time. time. that's what he lacks and what he should take. years.

but he doesn't become a man.

he grows fond of women as years pass by. they're gorgeous. pieces of art. delicate, emotional, calculative, strategic, pretty, soothing, and perfect in every way. they're everything a vinsmoke shouldn't be. they're everything sanji is- wants to be. he isn't like them. he is a man.

he likes watching them and giving them the pleasures he's refused of, because at least he gets to taste the other end of the stick when dreaming about impossible things turns out to be something too emotional for him to handle as the man he has become.

skirts. dresses. high heels. make up.

it must be hard to fight in those. that's why men don't wear them. because men are meant to fight. girls are meant to just exist. they give peace and love to a world full of destruction just by breathing, they don't need to do anything in order to give.

nami's ruthless. like a storm. and pretty, obviously, like a faint, calm rain. gorgeous and bright, like the sun. and she's feminine in such a strong way that it makes sanji shiver and get on his knees quicker than any woman has ever done. because she's different, too. she's a girl but she's not a girl. and she's not a man but she's more of a man than sanji could ever be in a million years, he realizes, because she's not afraid. and men shouldn't be afraid.

sanji always is. he just doesn't show. showing emotions is a cry for help and boys don't- men don't cry.

she's a girl without being like any other girls. so that means sanji can be a man without being exactly like the rest.

and yet, he's still not a man.

because dresses aren't meant or men, and still he can easily run wearing high heels without any problem. and they feel good, too, not because they fit in but because they fit him. they match the dress and the lip gloss. the world used to be black and white but now it's fucking pink and it makes him feel good and brave and strong and he's not afraid.

then the world shatters again. pops like those bubbles again. and again. like the day he lost himself to the pleasurable feeling of comfort he's been fighting his whole life. because he's a man and comfort means not being able to handle pain. and he fought pain that day until he gave in to his desires. but desiring something is only a thing men can afford, and he didn't actually desire it. he needed it. needs it to breathe and to laugh and to live. needs it because he can't handle pain and if he can't handle pain he's not a man.

so he goes back to hiding and wanting and giving and giving but without needing. and he doesn't take, because he's not a vinsmoke, but he is a man, because he only eats the crumbs women throw at him.

it's raining when he hears it, and he can't help thinking about nami. ruthless, strong, gorgeous and feminine nami.

pudding wouldn't. nami wouldn't.

he wouldn't marry himself either, if asked.

and there's gotta be something wrong with him. something that doesn't work. because he's not a vinsmoke but he's not a man and he's not human and he's not even a failure. he isn't a failure because his mom said so. and if someone as honest and good and kind and feminine as her said that, it has to be true.

and yet he's not a man. he looks at himself from far away. he's always seen himself like that. like a soul flying around an empty body. a shell.

and then it breaks.

it's still raining.

luffy is beautiful. and he is a man. but just like nami isn't a girl, luffy isn't a man.

because he dreams, bigger than anybody else. he shines, brighter than the sun. he feels, louder than any woman. he fights, with his whole heart and fists and punches way harder than any vinsmoke. and he's hungry. luffy's hungry due to a promise. a promise lead by loyalty and love and passion and everything sanji wishes he could let himself feel.

the thing is, luffy can feel all of those and still be a man.

if sanji feels, he won't be a man. nor a vinsmoke.

niji called him girl once. because he cried. and the punches hurt, but for some reason the thought of being allowed to feel if he were to be a woman made the wound heal faster.

luffy sees him cry.

and dream and wish and ask and beg and break.

and he's trying to give, but luffy is asking him to take and be selfish. he wonders if taking something for himself will turn him into a man, finally.

but he cries again.

"i want to go back to sunny."

and he's not a vinsmoke. nor a man.

he isn't sure exactly what he is.

and then luffy says: "that's just how you are!" about him being too kind for his own good and too empathetic for him to be considered a man.

luffy smiles when he says it, as if it was the most brilliant quality of the cook.

he's not a vinsmoke. he's not a man.

sanji lets himself dream about what he could be. lets himself feel what he truly is.

he has never liked feeling weak because that's just what women are supposed to be. delicate and soft and meant to be rescued by the prince he should be.

luffy looks at him like he's the most beautiful thing to ever be under the rain. dirty and messy and crying and shattered. but still beautiful. and clean. and pure. and soothing. and everything a woman is and everything he wants to be and everything he could be.

and it's a very complex recipe and perhaps he still lacks some ingredients and maybe he could use less of others and let it cook for a bit longer.

but it tastes good. to dream. to feel. to exist. not like a mistake but as a human.

as herself.

#what is thissss #it's 4 am and i'm still awake writing this bc i had a sanji kinnie breakdown #this was supposed to be a 'reiju has feelings bc she's a girl and so that's like a metaphor for transfem sanji'#but as you can see i got a bit carried away #i'm not reading all of this again if you find any typos just ignore them #i love transfem sanji wholeheartedly #she's so important to me #genderfluid any pronouns sanji my beloved #one piece #sanji #black leg sanji #monkey d luffy #lusan #lusan?? kind of??? the last things are very lusan and i did it thinking about them romantically #whole cake island

80 notes · View notes