#i'm genuinely just fucked as long as i'm here and i know it's not forever but lik. god
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ok obviously because i am myself i have to journal through some Big Feelings!!!!
here are some of my feelings:
i feel an immense sense of relief. i have been in so much pain for so long with no solutions and no clear endpoint. i feel like i've been slowly losing my mind for weeks. it is just not good for your brain to experience that much pain or to feel that much raw despair every night for so long. i can have my baby and then i can have the surgeries and then i can get PT and then i can recover normal motor functions and not be in excruciating agony. i feel like i've been so deep in the despair pit that i've started losing sight of the fact that i'm genuinely excited to have a baby. i've started losing sight of the fact that there's going to be a baby, period. it's felt like this would just last forever and ever and ever. but it won't. it might last another month or two but from sunday onwards i will be moving in the direction of less pain.
i feel an immense sense of guilt. i know i should wait until 39-40 weeks for his health/well-being but also i know many people who were induced early and their babies are fine. i was born at 38 weeks and he'll be born at 37.5 weeks and i have had no lasting health issues. and they will keep a close eye on him and we will be able to manage anything that happens. i am trying not to let myself be swallowed up by the fear that i am being hugely selfish by prioritizing an end to my own pain over his well-being. i love him so much and i want him to be healthy but i also have to trust that my health and well-being matters and is important to his health and well-being. like i guess start as you mean to go on, you know, and i want to try to be a parent who can make decisions that take care of my kid but also honor my own needs.
i feel frustrated. as my sister pointed out if people had felt a greater sense of urgency about the pain earlier i probably could have gotten to "clear evidence of nerve damage" sooner and then had time to prepare for an early term induction instead of making it feel so rushed. also maybe i wouldn't have done so much damage to my hands in the meantime. i mean maybe everything would've played out exactly the same way and that's fine but it is still a little frustrating to tell people that you are in the worst pain you've ever experienced and to have them be like aw i'm sorry but that seems normal. but it's fine! it's fine.
i feel kind of proud of myself. one of my goals for pregnancy esp after the pregnancy loss over the summer was to get better at medical self-advocacy. i tend to be really cowed by doctors and to downplay symptoms or to assume that if i am a bit more forceful in asking for things i'll be labeled a difficult patient. but i think over the last couple months i have done a good job of nicely but firmly being like, this is not normal. this is not normal. this is not normal. i know you are saying this is normal but this is not and cannot be normal. and i feel like saying that repeatedly and showing up to the ED and calling all the time finally made people be like hm maybe this isn't normal, and then i was able to get objective confirmation that my hands were sooo fucked up, and now things are happening that are moving me towards a future without this pain.
i feel stressed about work but also in some ways i've moved so far beyond that i don't feel that stressed. like i just don't have time to care about my boss yelling at me or being passive-aggressive towards me for leaving early. i'm about to do something that is so, so, so, so, SO immensely more important and meaningful and life-affirming than like, figuring out who's going to cover tabling events or run an application workshop in the fall. like come on. i am not going to expend a single ounce of energy on that in this last week. i will wrap up everything to the very best of my ability and then i will leave it. nothing is life or death in this job, and i have done a good job already of preparing my team for the transition.
i feel panicky!!!!!! i'm going to have a baby in less than a week. i thought i had more time although like what was i even going to do with that time given the fact that i can barely perform household chores or type for more than 30 min at a time or sleep. i feel panicky just because it feels so sudden, but also like, i have everything i need to bring him home, and i've read all the books and done all the pre-baby prep work and i've spent nine months getting ready for this moment. i have a bunch of chores and errands i want to take care of before sunday, but then i want to really dedicate saturday to reflection and journaling and taking long walks and just like, experiencing the last day of being just me.
i feel grief!!!! a whole part of my life - the part where i'm not a parent - is ending. i wish i had more time to honor that transition and to reflect on what it meant. i will definitely carve out time this week to do that and will try to not fritter away the next five days with errands... i think it's much more important to spend time getting myself emotionally ready.
this is a little dumb but i must voice it aloud: i feel weirdly sad about ending the part of my life where my dogs were my most important companions & beloved creatures. i know they will continue to be my beloved creatures! my best little guy and my sweet scruffy little girl! but the time when we were just a little family unit of three is ending and everything will be different now even if it will also be better and richer in a whole host of ways. i have already done a lot of crying and forcibly snuggling a disgruntled Pip and i anticipate there is a lot more of that in my future this week lol. but we will take lots of good long walks and i'll snuggle them so much and i will just trust that it might take a little time for us to settle back into our new normal but we'll get there.
i feel grief, too, at the thought of not being pregnant anymore. in some ways i'm SO ready... my whole body just feels so heavy and so uncomfortable and so swollen, and of course, as you might have heard, my hands hurt so much i think about cutting my fingers off at least once a night. but for the most part, up until this last stretch of pain, i've really, really loved being pregnant. i love feeling him kick and stretch and roll over inside of me. i love rubbing the outside of my stomach and feeling him press against the inside in response, like we're talking to each other, like we're making contact. my baby!! my little guy i've carried inside of me for nine months. i did expect to have more time to savor the end of pregnancy and to honor the experience (even the painful parts) in ways that felt meaningful to me. i feel real grief about not being sure if i'll ever get to do this again! and i wish, idk, i wish i could've paced myself through the end of it differently and had time away from the distractions of work to really have this experience of being in my very pregnant body, connected to my baby in a way I'll never be again, in a way that has felt really deeply meaningful to me. i'll do my best to make that time this week, and i know it's ok, i know that the next chapter will be so good too, but i can grieve not getting to have the ending to pregnancy i wanted.
i feel ready to be changed forever. the rush at the end is not what i wanted for myself, just in terms of getting my head on straight before he arrived, but on some deeper level i've been ready for this for so long, and i'm so, so ready. i want to meet my baby. i can't believe he's going to be my kid for the rest of my life. i can't believe how lucky i am that i got to choose this for myself and that i get to live the life i wanted. i'm so ready. i'm so ready. i can't wait to meet my kid and i can't wait to meet my new self on the other side of this big, big, big, forever-life-altering change.
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it's actually really adorable reading my notes while i was going through heavensward for the first time
#🌙.rambles#[ ffxiv. ]#THAT WAS NEARLY EXACTLY TWO YEARS AGO ?? march ily fr#i am. so enthusiastic here. evidently so very passionate abt ffxiv n i was enjoying myself sm it makes me smile so much#this is so funny the lil gbf notes i have here too#oh my god i was playing ffxiv n gbf actively back then that is a nightmare#oh yeah damn i empathized sm w my wol#i'm. still really grateful actually bcs ffxiv genuinely helped w making it easier for me to cry#this actually hits hard but in a way that. sort of comforts me#in the end i'm proud of myself for improving n stuff n. perhaps yeah healing from some stuff that happened a few months prior#but like. ffxiv rlly did help. i was an anxious n social wreck then n had no support system other than my family n stuff like video games n#i think writing got even harder for me for a while#but ffxiv rlly just#it helped a lot. n i'll forever be grateful for that#yeah that reminds me. drk's rlly special to me bcs it rlly reminded me of some things that helped me be kinder to myself#n now just. looking back ik i've gone a long way. n just reading this from the past makes me really proud of myself#'i don't fucking know how to phrase this' while talking abt hope n resolve is still so me#i'm rlly gna sleep it's nearly 3 n help tumblr's rlly one of my diaries or wtvr atp but#i mean. i won't write it all ofc but i'm just. no matter what i'll always have myself. n my family. esp apollo.#i'm rlly proud of myself n my. resolve is renewed damn i'm motivated but i'll sleep
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i so badly want to check her accounts bc i want to see how miserable she is but i know that isn't the reality
she moved on less than two months after the break up. less than two weeks after she was STILL begging me to get back together. all i would probably find is her content in her new relationship
#i so badly want her life to be miserable#i so fucking badly want her to suffer and hate life as much as i do but i doubt she does#she's fine she just moves on#im stuck here 5 months later just. mourning and grieving still#grieving all i gave her and grieving all my firsts and the love i thought was real#grieving that fact that i ended up meaning nothing#she lied to me. one of the first times we broke up i told her i was afraid of letting her go and waiting for her to get better bc i was#afraid she would fall out of love with me and she told me word for word#that it takes a long time for her to stop loving someone#but she literally had a girlfriend in two weeks after begging for me back#less than two months.#she broke so much in me#i don't know how to trust i don't know how to be anything other than something people use and discard#i don't believe i'm someone people would want to keep.#my thoughts are just tainted now and all i can think of is the fact that i'm too much for anyone#i cant be in a relationship because i'm simply too much i ask for too much im too sensitive im too Much#im genuinely meant to be alone forever#no one would want to put up with me and love me. i wasn't made for that#i wasnt made to be loved and understood i was just. made to be used#communicating is just too hard i dont even want to put in the effort to do it anymore#it's too much work and i'd rather be alone than spill paragraph after paragraph of my feelings. just to end up being misunderstood#or to be told i'm keeping an argument going by trying to be understood
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I forgot YouTube has a recap feature, yippee! I love music :)
#i'm a little confused how Mori still got top artists this year i really didn't think i listened to her that much this year?#her last album was... not for me lets say. i guess i did listen to Unalive a lot. Resting Power is a genuine banger#you know what else is a banger? Lone Alpha's album Virtual Paradise steaming now on all platforms go listen to it it's so good#(shameless plug because i was on top 1% of their listeners and thats a travesty. everyone should listen to them they're incredible)#all my top tracks were songs i got stuck on and listened to for literally hours on loop#I played my number one track 88 times. i like it :)#here's a link because i dunno if it'll come up from the auto translated title -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAmA3w4lVAY#is it the best song in the world? no. it's a pretty typical piece of idol music. but its very dear to me.#i'm not even familiar with the vtuber who sings it. it just tumbled across my recommendations one day and stuck with me#the rest of my top tracks are like genuinely good. those are complete recommendations from me -w-)b#the second one a kinda ancient cover by Rachie. i've been listening to that sing since i was a teenage lol#i've just been feeling it this year i guess. i got stuck on it for a couple weeks and just kept looping back to it#the third one is Thai which was cool. i haven't heard a lot of songs in that language but it's really lovely#actually i'll link that one to 'cause if you're not familiar it might be hard to find -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5S5b1lbWyUU#all the singers on it are great. i really like Schneider's Thai covers of other songs#and like. every single cover i've heard from Dacapo has been PHENOMENAL he's great#the last 2 are Paradox Live songs. I fucking love Amprule. Yeon Dongha number one forever#this is already to long but i wanna talk about Kessoku Band to. I still haven't watched Bochii (<fake anime fan) but the OST is NEXT LEVEL#every single song is just so <3<3 ''If i could be a constellation'' is just THE best. every song on the album is good.#you can ignore the rest of my recommendations but this album is just objectively good.#link -> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_mNWkxcU6VC_aWOFnpqYha-J5UMzwbVlx4#EDIT: i'm coming back to edit this days later because oh. fucking DUH. Sinderella end of last year/start of this year. i fucking forgot.#JIGOKU 6 was not really my favourite. i liked a couple songs but some of the others weren't for me#(which i could say about Sinderlla to i guess but since it's got more songs i feel more positively about as a whole)#anyway. i didn't go that hard on Jigoku and since that the most recent one i was just like hm? what Mori did I listen to?#it was Sinderella from last year. I listened to that one A LOT.#Wanted -Wasted is just so good it carries the whole album for me. it even compensates for Internet Brain Rot lmao#snow blogging#music recs
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Okay perhaps this sounds odd but imagine Astarion starts to disassociate while intimate with Tav and so he uses their established safe word, only to be bewildered when Tav actually listens to him and stops and asks if he’s okay and tries to comfort him because nobody has cared that much before 😢
OH GODS WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME (i love it)
warning for suggestive content :)
For as long as Astarion's been genuinely intimate with you, for no other reasons but simply because of the affection the two of you hold for one another, he has always been in control.
It soothes him, in a way, to be on top. And as much as he enjoys watching you come undone beneath him, there's a more frustrating reason behind why he always feels the need to be the one to push you down onto whatever surface he deems decent enough at the time. From above you, he can see every little twitch in your body, every shift in your expression, and most of all, he can control what's happening, unlike his centuries spent as a seductive tool for Cazador's own needs.
He knows you're not like those fools. He knows you're different, and you're special to him. But the gnawing voice in the back of his head always forces him to pull you in, to hold you closer, to make love to you.
It's fucked up in so many ways.
"I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel."
But when you look up at him with those imploring, loving eyes, the voice seems to go quiet. He swallows the dryness of his throat, unable to think of anything but how wonderful your touch feels on his skin, and he thinks he could drown in this forever. He's putty in your hands, whether he wants to admit it or not.
"Well? Don't be a tease just standing there, darling."
In what feels like minutes, he's a mess. He's making sounds he shouldn't be making, fingertips digging into your hips as if they're the anchors keeping him from finishing too early. He breathes heavily into the crook of your neck, groaning when you caress the sharp tip of his ear between your fingers.
The only thing keeping him from spilling is the impending embarrassment he'd feel for doing so this early on in the night.
Then, everything stops.
"You're so beautiful," you whisper.
They're only words. They're not ones he's heard little of---in fact, he's heard it too much in the past two hundred years. In an instant, memories of the nights he spent under strangers, forced to shove his mind into its darkest corners just to get through their own pleasures, flood his consciousness. The sickening taste in his mouth afterward, and the need to rub his skin till it goes raw were not uncommon. It was routine. A sick part of his life that he'd rather forget.
You don't mean it the same way they did. They only said things like that because that's all they could say. They didn't know him as anything but the husk of a body he resided in. He knows you are saying the words to him. Not to his body but to the very person he is.
But the word comes spilling out his mouth, and immediately, you freeze.
You actually stopped.
Of course, you would. You're you.
"Are you okay? Did I do something?" you reach to cup either of his cheeks, and he stares at you as if you're a star that's fallen from the sky. He blinks, slowly.
"I don't know, I just---" he searches for words. "--you haven't done anything wrong, darling."
You wait for him to finish patiently. Gods, he doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve you.
"I only remembered something I'd rather not," he plasters a crooked grin on his face. "It's quite alright. We can continue now if I haven't ruined the mood."
You pull away from him, and he fears you'll leave.
Moments later, you return with a glass of water. Wordlessly, you hand it to him, and he only stares at it, confused beyond belief. Only once he notices the way you gesture to the glass does he drink it, and you finally climb back into bed, lying down beside him.
"Come here," you open your arm, motioning him to come closer.
"Darling, as much as I'm all for experimenting, that's a strange position to have sex in."
You smile, shaking your head. You don't explain any further, only continuing to hold out your arm.
Hesitant though curious, he slowly lies down beside you, his head just above your chest and slotted between the space below your chin. With gentle hands, you pull him closer and toss the blanket over both of your bodies.
It's warm. Strange, but warm.
"You don't have to wear a mask with me," you whisper.
His eyes grow wide, and his chest stills. He doesn't have many tears left after 239 years, but there's an unfamiliar squeeze in his chest that tells him if he were still 39 and alive, he might have. Astarion wraps his arms around your waist, burying his face into where he can hear the steady beating of your heart.
Later, when your eyes begin to droop, he mumbles.
"Tell me I'm beautiful again."
"You're beautiful," you say softly. "With or without your pretty face."
You might be imagining it, but you feel him smile against your skin.
#astarion ancunin#baldur's gate 3#baldur's gate astarion#bg3 astarion#astarion x tav#astarion x reader#astarion#bg3 x reader#bg3#fluff
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flirty playboy x mature male reader
this stupid ass meme had been on my mind forever and i realised how funny it would be to have a slutty playboy who just sleeps with anyone to seriously pine over a more mature, secure guy who doesn't fall for any of his shallow charms and tricks.... here are just some blurbs of their dynamic (˵ ¬ᴗ¬˵)
his name is roman. he's a little toxic, but he just wants to be loved.
cw: some smut, top male reader
it all started with a little night out. you didn't do those often, due to devoting most of your time towards work and earning a stable career, but finishing this particularly gruelling assignment called for a celebration. at the bar, dancing with your friends, a good-looking man with a playful glint in his eyes approached you full of bravado. he told you how handsome you were, and had been eyeing you from across the room for a while now. but from a single glance, you could tell he was the type to break hearts. beach-blonde dyed hair, a tight fitting tank top revealing his muscular build, an eyebrow piercing, the way his mouth curled up so subtly into a little smirk.... he was everything you knew to avoid getting serious with. but a little hookup couldn't hurt, right? you deserved a little fun.
and it didn't hurt you at all. a few failed relationships had made you wise beyond your years, knowing to easily seperate the good guys from the bad. you knew your self-worth. roman, on the other hand, was absolutely smitten. no other man had fucked him THIS good, gave him such gentle aftercare, and even let him stay as long as he needed. the way you so effortlessly lifted his legs up to thrust in and out of him at a rhythmic pace, or fondling his tits and squeezing his nipples softly while you hit it from the back, or tenderly running your fingers down his spine, arching it sensually.... he loved it all. it was clear to him that you prioritised his pleasure as much as your own, and it showed in how he orgasmed several times before you even came in him once, panting breathlessly while wearing the sluttiest expression of his life. it was nothing like any of the men he had sex with before. afterwards, you let him stay the night in a guest room, and even brewed a cup of coffee for him in the morning.
roman was damn near tears when you offered to drop him off at his house before you headed off to work. if he was being honest with himself, his insecurities were the root of his constant need for sexual intimacy, so being treated with genuine kindness for once was new to him.
"is dropping you off here alright?" you ask, turning into the road of his apartment complex.
"y-yeah...." he looks out the window, unsure how to look you in the eyes.
"okay. thanks for last night. stay safe." your words carried an air of finality to them, like you were so sure the two of you would never cross paths again. he didn't like that.
"uh, uh......" he stuttered, all his usual flirtatiousness thrown out the window as he couldn't meet your gaze. "could i... get your number?"
your friendly smile froze on your face. "uhhhh.... sorry, i'm not really looking for anything serious right now."
he quickly regained his composure, charm turned up to the max. shifting his tank top so more of his chest was exposed and you could notice his nipples protruding, roman whispered in a low tone, "that's okay! we can just be casual... and fuck anytime you like." a wink. a hand on your thigh.
"jeez... okay, no offense, but i've heard rumours from my friends that you're a bit of a... playboy. i'm not interested in being your toy, sorry."
roman's face flushed in embarrassment, knowing what you said was true. except the part on him seeing you as a toy. that was untrue. he could feel a warmth growing from the pit of his stomach at the thought of spending more time with you. were these... butterflies?
maybe begging would work.
"okay fine, i am a bit of a player... but please, please, pleaseeeeeee.... let's be in contact, okay? as friends?" roman sniffled pathetically, shaking your shoulder in desperation. he needed to be in your presence. why weren't his usual maneating tactics working?!?!
"alright. here you go. just don't spam me or anything, okay? i gotta go for work. see you." you sigh, a little exasperated but choosing not to let it show. he immediately lit up, typing your number in his contacts and saving many hearts next to your name. you prayed your acts of basic human decency wouldn't cause him to catch feelings. you needed to focus on your job right now.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
3:02pm
[romanbabyxx]
hiiiiiii
[romanbabyxx]
i know you said not to spam you but like
[romanbabyxx]
i miss u
[romanbabyxx]
can we meet up at the bar for drinks or something like that? please?
3:10pm
you check the messages on your phone, rolling your eyes and ignoring them. he was probably sending this text to at least three other guys right now. he had a history of cheating, based on what you heard from your friends. you weren't going to be another one of his victims.
5:35pm
[romanbabyxx]
are u ignoring me?
[romanbabyxx]
im sorryyyyyyyy
[romanbabyxx]
pls hit me back when ur free
7.30 pm
[name]
sorry, just got off work. will be super busy this week, so not free. mb.
[romanbabyxx]
oh, its okay! next week then?
[name]
i'll see
this went on for a few weeks, you constantly evading his invitations, being polite and professional, never too intimate over text. roman was starting to get fed up. he's so used to getting everything he wants, he doesn't know what to do when he actually has to work for the one he desires. he actually hadn't hooked up with anyone since your one night stand, but you didn't believe that.
roman was at his wits' end. he could only think of one final plan to get your attention.
trying to make you jealous.
over the next week, he hooked up with any and everyone he met in the bar, not bothering to keep his slutting around discreet. he wanted you to hear the rumours. he wanted you to feel a sense of unease within your very being. he wanted you to feel possessive. he wanted you, to want him. the whole time, even as he was getting fucked, he could only imagine you caressing him, holding him close, loving him.
his deeds didn't go unnoticed. your friends told you about it, yet you didn't feel anything in the slightest. you were right, after all... he forgot about you within a week and moved on to whichever poor man he would leave high and dry next.
the next time you bumped into him at the bar, roman was his usual, party-loving self, excitedly slinging an arm around you, a drink in hand. his plan had to work, surely? you would be begging to have him back. but yet, when he offhandedly (yet so intentionally) mentioned how much dick he had been getting the past week, anticipating your change in expression, nothing happened. "oh. good for you." was all you said.
he sputtered, flustered by your calm demeanour. didn't you care? at all?! "but.... but.... aren't you jealous? that i've been hooking up with other guys?!"
you stare at him, a genuine quzzical expression plastered across your face. "why would i be? it's not like we're dating or anything. it was just a one time thing."
your words hit like a knife through his heart. he clutched his chest dramatically, a pout forming on his lips. "i'll be faithful! i promise!" his words came out more desperate than he intended. he felt so vulnerable, so naked, yet you were the face of serenity. your unimpressed eyes stared through his soul, as if you were scrutinising his very core. he knew you could heal him, make him feel loved, but he was starting to doubt there was any possibility you would feel the same.
"i'm sure that's what you said to the last guy you cheated on."
.
.
.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
i intended for this to be lighthearted but why was it actually kinda depressing tbh
#male reader#dom male reader#top male reader#bottom male character#sub male character#playboy x male reader#wrioluvr: roman#i admire ppl who can just write pure smut with graphic descriptions coz i end up spiraling into a full mini plot everytime crying emoji
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How Mk1 Men Fuck You
CW: NSFW, gn!reader
Bi-Han is just mean about it, frankly. Teasing you, never exactly hitting the spot you need him to, close enough to feel it, but not enough to really do much. And don't bother begging with him. He'll just roll his eyes and scoff, wiping the tears from your eyes with his thumb and not doing anything to give you release.
"I've barely touched you... how are you that desperate already? Honestly, it's ridiculous. You'll get what you want, just be quiet."
When he finally fucks you, it's at a relentless pace, holding your hips in place as he thrusts into you. He's stopped the teasing now, and is wholly focused on making you fall apart in his arms.
Tomas just wants to make you happy. He begs to taste you, to let him touch you where he wants to. He whines at the slightest touch from you, and you both know that you're the only one who can elicit these reactions from him. He could spend forever between your thighs, seriously, he'd die happy there. He'll run his hands up and down your thighs while he gives you head, he has to be touching you.
"Ahh... you look so... like this, I mean- don't tease me! I'll come up with a good description, just... let me have this."
PLEASE hold his jaw and make him look at you while you ride him. Remind him that he's yours, and he'll practically melt. He'll likely be the more vocal out of the two of you, babbling about how good you feel.
Kuai Liang is possessive in bed, but how can you blame him? It's the place where you're his, completely. And maybe this is just me being insane over that skin where his hair is up, but but he likes when you pull his hair while he fucks into you. You can also run your nails along his back, and good luck to anyone who comments on it. He's yours, and you're his, and he wants sex with you to be a reminder of that. He likes being able to look at you while he fucks you, especially those lovely expressions you make.
"No, don't look away. Keep your eyes on me. I don't want to miss a second of this."
You didn't initially expect him to be so open with his feelings in bed, but he likes to be vulnerable with you. He feels safe with you, and he doesn't have to be anyone but yours.
When it comes to fast and hard, it's Johnny Cage. Sex with him is always so energetic, and you have to wonder where that energy comes from. Admittedly, it took some time in the relationship for him to be intimate or slow with you, but you got there. Even then, he just likes sex to be fun. He'll crack jokes, tease you, or randomly bite you when you're least expecting it. He'll thrust up into you while you ride him, just to be a dick and throw you off balance. Have I mentioned he's a brat? Because he's a brat.
"So. You come here often? Well, you're about to, and- hey, ow! I'm supposed to be on camera, you know."
When he's intimate and slow, though, he really is. He'll whisper praises in your ear, words so genuine that it makes you blush more than the things he's doing to you. Everything he's too afraid to say sometimes, it all falls apart when you're in his arms.
I'm SICK and TIRED of people saying that Raiden doesn't know anything about sex, etc. He is loving, tender, and occasionally giggly. He sees sex as another way to be near you and show you how much he loves you. He'll kiss you all over while he's inside you, and he loves to praise you. He likes to fuck you with you in his lap and your legs wrapped around his waist. It's perfect, really. He can go deep inside you and look at you at the same time.
"You look so perfect like this. I'll move, love, I promise, just let me watch you for a moment."
He can make you cum fast, but he chooses not to. He likes to draw out your pleasure. Less to tease, and more to make it last as long as possible. He wants to fall apart with you.
Kenshi is going to make you cum on his fingers before he even thinks about fucking you. He's infuriatingly good at it, too. He'll leave you gasping and moaning just from his fingers, and he can't help but smile smugly about it, which only makes it more frustrating. You can beg him to fuck you, but it won't work. That's happening when he decides to, and not a moment sooner. So you may as well get used to cumming on his fingers.
"You're seriously still begging? C'mon, you know it's not going to work. Still, it's nice hearing you like this."
When he finally fucks you, it's slow and rough, going as deep as possible with each stroke. He'll wrap his arms around you while he does, face pressed against your shoulders, muttering praises and teasing words against your skin.
#mortal kombat x reader#mortal kombat#mortal kombat 1#mortal kombat imagine#mk imagine#mortal kombat smut#johnny cage#johnny cage x reader#tomas vrbada#tomas vrbada x reader#bi han x reader#bi han#kuai liang x reader#kuai liang#raiden x reader#raiden#kenshi takashi x reader#kenshi takahashi
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since twitter has become actively hostile to its users, so they came to tumblr, and reddit has become actively hostile to its users, so they came to tumblr, what do we do now that tumblr is becoming (more) actively hostile to its users? i’ve been here for over a decade so i know tumblr users are the type to cling on despite everything and revel in undoing every change, but i’m so tired of the way this website breaks the way it fundamentally works in order to appeal to new users. the twitterfication of the site seems so much worse than when people jumped ship after the porn ban, and even then, only small communities (and twitter) cropped up as solutions. you might not be the person to ask for a definitive answer, but i figured a tech blog might be interested in considering - what do we do when there’s nowhere left to go?
Okay so, I mean this very seriously: how has tumblr meaningfully become like twitter?
I don't personally find the sidebar view obnoxious and it seems to me like just another layout change that's pretty typical to tumblr. New users are getting signed up with a bit more emphasis on algorithmic feeds, but that is still very easy to change (MUCH easier than on any other social platform) and the algorithm has been there for everyone for quite a while, we just typically don't notice it because a lot of long-term tumblr users don't go into the "for you" feed.
I don't think that tumblr *has* fundamentally broken the way that it works to appeal to new users. My dash now is still very much like my dash in 2019, and still very much like my dash in 2018 (though much less pornographic). Reblogs are still reblogs, likes are still likes. Replies, for all that they seem like they've been around forever, are new and good and I think they work well. I'm irritated that the notes menu doesn't have a "view all" option but I think that's a worthwhile tradeoff for an easy way to see tags.
I *do not* understand why tumblr has broken linking back to previous reblogs but I don't think that's out of an effort to act like twitter; it is a bizarre choice that I dislike and don't understand but I also don't think that it has fundamentally changed the way the site works and i mean you've been around long enough that I'm sure you've had the same experience I have of going into the notes of a post and randomly clicking until you found a version that you wanted to reblog without a bunch of bullshit at the bottom. Tumblr has always kind of sucked, this change DOES suck but it doesn't suck in a way that is particularly novel or insurmountable. (For instance, I think this change sucks MUCH LESS than when they made posts with links invisible to the search, that is something that is genuinely bad that has been long lasting but doesn't get brought up much in lists of the ways that tumblr has gone wrong)
Tumblr *is* changing, but I think it is changing more incrementally and less terribly than other parts of the internet. I also hate the floating clown, the login walls, the dash-only view for blogs (you can't archive it and I HATE that), and - to an extent - the new lightbox on mobile. And I dislike that less than I thought I would but I don't think it's a fundamental change that necessarily impacts my interactions with the site - it *adds* a feature that I don't care for but it doesn't *break* anything that I require to have a good time on tumblr - in that way I think of it very much like Live. People hate Live so much and I find that perplexing because it is so easy to simply ignore it.
But that's not really your question; that's just some stuff I want people to think about because as much as tumblr has changed in the last two years it is nowhere near as fucked up as the recent things that twitter and reddit have pulled.
So, as to your question: where do we go?
Well. Not to be an extremely old person on the internet, but damned if I don't miss email lists. And forums. God I miss forums. Neither of those things has all the bonuses of platforms like twitter or reddit or tumblr or facebook, but they were great ways to hang out with people you liked on the internet.
The internet is changing. I can feel it, you can feel it, I'm pretty sure we're all like cattle in a field lifting our noses and hearing some distant rumbling and becoming slowly aware that it's almost time to run. There's a coming stampede and it isn't here yet but you know it's on its way. You're not imagining that, that's how things feel right now and there are a shitload of things contributing to it.
Things like SESTA/FOSTA and KOSA (which has not passed yet but is a big red flag waving on the horizon) have been eroding away the way that users on various platforms can function. Some platforms have consolidated in ways that harm users; some new platforms have popped up and shaken up the map of the internet; some platforms are being torn apart brick by brick by owners who don't care about the users. It kind of seems like people are actually looking up and realizing that advertising is A) bad and B) doesn't actually work and I think we're running straight toward another advertising-based crash like we saw in 2017. It feels like all the desperate things that tumblr is doing is just rearranging deck chairs on the titanic as the internet as a whole starts to sink into the ocean.
Honestly, I don't think it's that bad. I think it *feels* bad, but I think we're looking at a slow whimpering death of the platforms, not a bang. I think tumblr is going to hang on at least for a few years and I think it's going to end up like livejournal and myspace, which both still exist as websites that are recognizable as updated versions of the sites they were in 2004-2010. The thing that I think would really, honestly hurt tumblr in a fundamental way is if it moved to a more algorithmic and data-sales based model of advertising, and I think that's still pretty distant. I think Automattic is aware that killing the chronological feed would be the one unforgivable sin that would cause a mass exodus and a final crash, and I think when we see that, when we can't just scroll through the feed and see what our friends did that day in order of when they did it, that's when the party is over here.
But that's still not answering your question.
So, where do we go? What do we do? Well, for now, I'd say it's a good time to get contact info for your friends across various platforms. Get email addresses, get phone numbers.
Now is also the time for you to set up a personal website. NeoCities is currently the best place to do this, though it takes a lot more effort than just starting a blog on tumblr. I think that various oldschool blogging sites like Wordpress and Blogger/Blogspot/whatever the hell the google one is are a better place to have your emergency backup than a more platform-y platform if you aren't up to doing something with NeoCities.
If you've got the ability to do so and a group of people who are interested in the same core subject, set up a forum. There's a decent amount of off-the-shelf forum software out there and a text-and-small-images forum isn't prohibitively expensive, but it's never going to be huge and you're never going to have the kind of spread and virality and random connections that you would on a platform with millions or billions of users.
If you can't set up a forum, setting up or joining a discord server for your friends is a decent enough option at the moment, and may be a very good option for people who are looking to keep their interactions more private.
But yeah i think right now is a great time for people to start setting up their own personal websites, to start visiting actual webpages again, to start bookmarking their friends' websites, and to start collecting contact info that isn't tied to platforms.
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Dungeon Meshi Quick Reacts: CH36
Time find out just how fucked up Toshiro got.
Hey Kabru. Chill.
That sure is a normal look to give your team mate. I'm sure you're a normal, well adjusted leader who understands when you step out of bounds.
Bold of you to assume they even care. They're too caught up in the plot of the second arc to even remember you...
So much to question here. The fact that Toshiro has retainers. The fact that they're all mildly bored. The fact that Marcille seems to hate it here. Marcille, hello??? Are you only interested in Falin? Do you just hate people that aren't her?
The fact that she's still wearing the frog costume makes this panel, honestly. What a legend.
This is so wholesome. Laios just decided to therapy this workaholic man all on his own, dangit. If he won't do it, who will? Senshi must be so proud.
Hang on, I just realized--.....is that.
Is that the cat girl...?!!? That I've been seeing? I thought it was just a hat at first, but those are ears, aren't they?! Is she the one that eventually joins the party?
Marcille, you're a beautiful frog woman to me.
If I didn't know that Chillchuck is a dad already, I would have known it at this point. What a thing to say. "oh no, which one of these kids grown men is going to cause more trouble if left unattended"
I'm sure that's fine.
...........
But when you put it that way, it seems a little.... simple?
Kabru is beginning to suspect he's in the wrong class.
"Ah yes, a little freak that scuttles around from paintings to reality and speaks in archaic and mysterious tones. GOTTA be a Sorcerer. And hella mad, too!"
The math checks out, your honor.
Her best, Karbohydrate. She did her best.
Oh Laios, you're a hoot.
Kabru, you literally said Laios is a terrible liar three seconds ago. Maybe be a little less obvious? 😂
...you've done this to yourself, mate.
Okay, you know what. I take it back. I still don't like Kabru but watching him suffer IS supremely entertaining.
Okay, I can see how he might jump to the wrong conclusions here. They did not, in fact, eat the orcs.....
Orcs are duty bound to slap ya upside the head.
I love how genuinely patient Senshi is, and how good he is at listening. Chillchuck was worried but he's just vibing with new friends.
I'm sure they're having a grand old time.
What do those ears do, hmmm?
I enjoy the fact that he says "they're all treated as heinous criminals" instead of passing moral judgement and saying 'they're beyond reproach' or the like. He knows the consequences, and remarks not at all on whether or not he agrees with the judgement itself.
I could also draw some parallels here about how Japan treats all drugs but. Well. That's another topic.
Oh, noooo. As opposed to that other way of dying, where your corpse is dragged about in a carnival fashion after you die, to dry up in the light of day forever after.
Oh wait.
This bitch is really only here for the drama. 😅
FALIN?!?!?!?! MY GIRL
WHY THE LONG......body...?
....................cool. Cool cool cool cool cool. Alright. Okay okay okay. Alright.
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi quick reacts#chekhov reads dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi liveblog
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NSFW ABC - Simon 'Ghost' Riley Edition
Here he is, finally! The man, the myth, the legend! I'll be honest, I actually had a bit of a hard time on this one, and I'm still not sure how I feel about it, but I didn't want to leave you guys hanging for too long, so I sincerely hope you enjoy!
Contains heavy smut elements, so minors stay away!
warnings: senseless smut, detailed descriptions, ghost is a dirty lad but secretly a softie, hinted at female anatomy
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex):
Methodical, but not without warmth. He asks you genuinely if you're ok, if anything hurts, if you want to get in the shower or if you want him to go get a towel to clean you off so that you can lay down to rest, depending on how intense the session was - a little bit like damage control. He might take you to the shower anyways if he thinks it's the best option for you, but he'll do most of the work. He can be quite rough even when he tries to tone it down, so he wants to make sure he hasn't caused you any actual harm in the heat of the moment and he does that best by actually looking after you. He does love it if you wash him off as well, scrubbing over his chest and arms, but he won't really say much. He'll just let out a low, rumbling sigh and lean his cheek against the top of your head and honestly that alone tells you all you need to know. He lets you cup his face and plants all the kisses you want on his face and mouth, simply holding you in his arms and relishing in the moment.
Once you've started cleaning up and checking in on each other in this fashion, any extra rounds is pretty much out of the question. This is to wind down, to relax, to clean off, put on some comfortable clothes, settle back down into bed and hold each other close. Not that Simon can't go on for what feels like forever, but he greatly appreciates the peace and quiet he gets with you.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s):
As far as Simon's concerned, his body serves its' purpose well. He doesn't exactly lack confidence, but he's by no means vain, and rarely looks at himself in the mirror unless it's to get a better angle to check on wounds or to clean himself. He's found a certain pride in his arms though, mainly because he can wrap them around you like some sort of boa constrictor and there's little you can do to escape it. He finds a sort of hidden, perhaps slightly sadistic, glee in that you can't do much else but take what he gives you (he's not an asshole, though - should you give even the slightest hint that you were uncomfortable or didn't want it, he'd let you go in an instant and make sure you're ok).
As for you, he is quietly obsessed your hands and your hips. Feeling your hands roam over his body is addicting, because he's not quite used to being touched in the way that you touch him, and your hips fit perfectly in his own hands (and his own hips fit perfectly there, too). But all in all, no matter how much he loses himself in the crooks and curves of your body, it's your eyes that do him in every time. He doesn't want to admit it, but it's why he mostly buries his face in your neck or takes you from behind. Your eyes make him weak. If you look into his eyes and beg him for whatever (to slow down, to speed up, to let you come) or even worse, say his name, you'll send shivers through his entire body. He tries not to let it get to his head, but the effect that you have on him, the way something in him falls apart when your eyes meet... it almost scares him. If you get a chance to take control, even for a second, grab him by the hair and demand that he looks you in the eye when he fucks you. You'll render him not only speechless, but also absolutely feral.
He wants to be methodical about this too, but he loses himself far too easily in you, and cumming all over your lower stomach and hole scratches some sort of itch in him that he didn't quite know he had. He will keep your thighs spread just so he can watch it drip down between them, and will most likely push it into you either with his fingers or his cock, fucking you a bit more until you cum again. If he has it in him, he'll cum in you once more and spread your hole just so he can watch as it leaks back out (before fingering it back into you yet again). Won't say a word during it, but you'll feel his eyes practically burning into your skin.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically):
He will absolutely cum down your throat if you let him and you can take it, keeping a close eye on you so that you're not actually uncomfortable or struggling. Wants you to show him that you've swallowed it all down though, or spit it back out on his cock so that he can fuck it into you.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs):
Before the two of you actually got together, you had a fling with another soldier at the base. Simon never commented on it, but he kept an eye on you in case he turned out to be an asshole or something. He tried not to give it too much thought; he just wanted to make sure you were all right. Totally not because he was jealous or anything, obviously.
He was actually looking for you when it happened, he just hadn't expected to find you in this... condition. Peering around the corner, he froze when found you pinned up against the wall in an empty hallway, with this fucker's tongue down your throat and his hand down your pants, panting and moaning into the kiss. He was suddenly struck by a strong urge to grab that dickhead and throw him out a helicopter at full speed and show you that he could give you something much better than whatever this was. He clenched his fists, thinking to himself that if he had you against the wall like this, he'd make sure you couldn't stay quiet. He'd have you crying out his name, shaking and quivering, gushing all over his fingers. That pipsqueak had nothing on him.
He considered stepping in and interrupting you, some dark voice in his mind telling him to take over, but he settled on simply slipping away quietly, not being able to stop the images in his head of pinning you against the wall, or against his bed and taking you the way you deserved to be taken.
He never told you about how he saw you with that dipshit, or how it made him jealous, or how he's fantasized about you since even before that. But once he'd simmered on it for too long and he got the chance to talk to you, he told you enough for you to know that he wanted you, that he'd wanted you for a while now, and that if you gave him the go, he'd take you then and there.
Safe to say, you gave it to him.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?):
He does have a good amount of experience from when he was younger, but he hasn't really engaged in it in a good while. He has men and women offer themselves up to him at regular intervals, he just 1. never trusts a stranger enough to put himself in a vulnerable position like that and 2. isn't really into one-night-stands, even if it were with a close friend. Before you, he took it upon himself to find relief if he ever felt the need to. Now that he has you, he doesn't need anything else.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying):
He greatly enjoys holding you down in a mating press, caging you in and leaning in close to your face to kiss you or to growl something into your ears. But as mentioned before, he's a bit weaker to your eyes than he'd like to admit, so more often than not, he takes you from behind in some way, like if you're standing or you're on your knees and he keeps you upright by grabbing your arms and pulling you back into him. He prefers pressing his entire body into you though, deep and close, giving you that sense of not being able to escape him. Doesn't let you close your legs, doesn't let you shy away, doesn't let you touch yourself.
If you want to take control, and happen to get the chance, take it. As hardheaded as he is and dominant as he might seem, he molds himself by your hands like the softest clay you could ever imagine, and he wants you to use him even if he's "in charge". If you wrap your hand around his throat, it puts him almost in a daze; you can see his pupils dilate as you straddle him and grind him into you, you can hear a soft rumble in his chest as you pull his head back by his hair and trail kisses and bites along his neck. If you tell him to keep his hands off or you tie them to the headboard or behind his back, you'll see his muscles tense as he struggles against his restraints, be they physical or just in his mind.
He's also a surprisingly big fan of 69 - he likes the combination of the taste and heat of you on his face and your moans on his dick.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.):
He's no stranger to getting a chuckle out of you; you'll tease each other every now and then and he might huff out a breath in amusement at some point or other, but for the most part he's very serious. He's focused on you, how you feel, how you sound and regardless of if this is a session to rid tension and frustration, or if it's a warmer, more tender round, he doesn't want to waste any energy on anything other than fucking you.
He might chuckle when he sees your eyes roll back or when you can't quite form coherent words, and he'll grin when he fucks the living daylight out of you after you've laughed just a little too hard at him for any reason. Some sort of semi-sadistic humour is ever-present, but you'll never hear him laugh outright, and you'll be too far out of it to focus on anything anyway.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.):
He's not a very hairy man, but the hair that he has is mainly light and surprisingly soft, fairly thick and curly-ish. He might give it a trim every now and then for the sake of comfort, usually before heading out for deployment, but other than that he doesn't give it too much thought. He couldn't really care less about the presence or lack of body hair, be it on himself or on you. If you were to ask him nicely to trim it down because maybe you don't like the way it feels, then sure. But if you were to find it yucky for any reason, he'd tell you to grow up. There's nothing to be grossed out about - he's very clean.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect):
He might not seem like it, and he surely doesn't say anything about it, but he greatly cherishes the moments where he gets to lay down with you and relax. There's no need to say anything, no need to do anything; you can just lay in his arms and listen to his steady heartbeat. As rough as he can be, he genuinely loves cupping your face in his hands and kissing you deeply. He's not very vocal about his emotions, but he makes sure to show them to you in your most private moments.
He wants to hold you when he gets the chance to and having you lay on top of him helps ground him. He once told you that he enjoys the weight of you on him and you offered to get him a weighted blanket, but the only weighted blanket he wants is you (also he doesn't want one with him to base or to missions - it sends him into a far too deep of a sleep than what might be safe in a time where he needs to be ready spring to action at any moment).
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon):
He has convinced himself that he doesn't need to. Not that he doesn't get the urge to, because when time away from you has dragged on, he gets... restless. He's usually way more irritable in the last week or so on a mission, and the ever so observant Soap might joke that the lieutenant needs to "blow off some steam" before he blows off one of their heads - "if you need to sneak off for a minute or so, I won't tell the captain." ("Fuckin' shut up, Johnny.")
It's like he's come to the conclusion that he can hold out. He usually doesn't jack off on missions anyway, but it's gotten a bit more challenging now that he knows that you're waiting for him back home. He kind of scolds himself, tells himself that it was never a problem before, so why would it be a problem now? But he remembers you, he thinks of you and he misses you and so it adds a variable that wasn't there before. He tries to keep his thoughts at bay, but the longer he's away from you, the more salacious the thoughts become. He might get off once while back at base and in the privacy of his own room, depending on how much longer the mission is going to last, but if it's just a week or so left, he'll hold off and his teammates will just have to deal with his bad mood. Just be prepared for when he gets back to you, because he will definitely not use his own hand now that he has you.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks):
He's not a fullblown sadist, but he does have a little vein of it running through him. Tying you down, blindfolding you and just generally forcing you to be at the mercy of him scratches some sort of itch in him. He's not doing it as a form of punishment though, and it's not meant to be just for his own pleasure; it's more like he needs to prove something to you almost. It's like he wants to give you everything he thinks you deserve, even if it's more than you can handle. If you listen closely (if you even have the ability to still hear him), you might hear him whispering for you to keep going, to keep cumming, to give him more. You will need to establish some safewords with him right out of the gate, because he overstimulates you like it's his only purpose in life.
Because of the great satisfaction he gets from feeling your weight on top of him though, having you ride him in pretty much anyway you can is greatly appreciated. Sitting on his face, on his dick, on his thigh - just any way that he can have you draped over him is top notch. He might actually have more of a masochistic side to him, because he likes it when you scratch him and pull his hair, and he loves feeling like he's practically drowning in you. Overstimulating him might not be an incredibly regular occurrence, but if you get the chance to, do it, and do it well.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do):
Bed. He'll have you anywhere within the confines of your home if that's what you want, but he prefers the bed. That's where he can completely unravel you and it's where he feels it's safest. That's not to say he hasn't fucked you in the shower or on the dinner table, or that you haven't had your moments where you've barely made it in through the front door. You rile him up easily; almost too easily. If you were to undress right out on the street, he'd probably fuck you right there.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going):
For anyone who doesn't know him, it's easy to think that he just never experiences emotions. The deadpan stare, the monotone voice, the way that he just seems generally disinterested in pretty much everything. But you know better. The way he tilts his head towards you, the way he discreetly takes a deep breath when you say or do something suggestive, the way his eyes follow your every move with a hooded gaze, or the way he reaches out to you but waits for you to close the last bit of distance between you. You know it well.
As established before, he has a weak spot for your eyes; when you look at him and tell him what you want or just that you love him, he feels something in him melt. Fluttering touches over his shoulders or chest, nuzzling your body in close to his and wrapping your arms around him are all ways to warm up that supposedly "cold" heart of his.
Keep in mind though, he's a man of action. If you tease him, make sure you're ready to face the consequences - especially if you're in an environment where he can't just have you right away.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs):
As rough as he might be, whether he has a sadistic hint to him or not, he would never want to do anything that would leave scars on you. Bruises, hickeys, scratches, sure. But never anything that would actually leave any sort of permanent mark. Also doesn't want to cause you any actual physical pain; he can overwhelm you, he can leave you feeling sore, he can make you feel like you've been run through a cycle in the washing machine, but he'll never hurt you.
If you tell him that something doesn't feel good or hurts or that there's something that you just don't like, rest assured he'll back off in an instant.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.):
Sit. On. His. Face. Fucking sit on it and do it now. He will give you no chance to escape his grip or tongue, and he will keep you there until you're just shy of passing out. He loves rendering you nothing but a quivering mess, but he also finds it strangely grounding - the weight of you, your taste, your heat; it's like it heals something in him. He'll tell you to get on him whenever he's in a bad mood or stressed out, and you can never quite predict how long he'll go on for, but you often get to see a part of him that you think no one else has ever seen. He practically suffocates himself in you and you'd be more worried if you weren't so lost in your own pleasure. It's almost something masochistic in him that has him drive himself towards blacking out, because if you can manage to look at him the few times that he actually breaks away to breathe, you'll see his eyes roll and his eyelids flutter. He'll take a huge gulp of air and slur out something about how he wants, no, needs more before he dives back in with a rough moan. Doesn't let you pull away when you cum, because he wants you to cum right down his throat.
When you suck him off, he leans back and watches you, breathing deeply and heavily, and lets you take as much of him as you can in whatever pace you can. If you're struggling, he'll tell you that you're doing good and that he's proud of however much you can fit in your mouth. If you're not struggling at all, he'll chuckle and maybe call you a "dirty little one", but he loves it. As mentioned before, he wants to see you either swallow his cum down, or spit it back out on his cock to keep going, but he also loves shoving his tongue into your mouth, letting any residue of him left dribble out onto your chin.
He might not go for 69 every time, but he takes great enjoyment in knowing that you're trying your hardest not to stop sucking him off even if you're losing your mind at the whim of his tongue. Crosses off multiple things on his list, and so when you do indulge in it, he makes sure neither of you are rushing it.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.):
He goes at very steady pace; it's not slow, but it's not fast either. He can speed up to drive you to the edge faster or slow down to draw it out, but no matter what the pace is, you can bet that it'll be deep and heavy. Somehow, it never gets predictable. You joked with him that not only is Simon 'Ghost' Riley an expert at sneaking up on enemies on the battlefield, but also at making you cum when you least expect it. It got a little chuckle out of him (and about four orgasms out of you), but it's true. You don't know how he does it, but somehow he brings you to climax even when you don't feel like you're that close to it. It's like he knows exactly where all your little buttons are - even the ones you didn't even know you had.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.):
He's disciplined and he's headstrong, but he doesn't have the patience or fortitude for quickies - once he's started, he'll be going for a good fucking while. Besides, you need a proper warmup before you can actually take him - he's far too thick otherwise. If you're feeling impatient and like you really can't wait, he'll give you his fingers, but just know that it is taking every single microscopic little grain of him to not just rip your clothes off and fuck you good.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.):
He won't do anything outright sexual in public - at least not that anyone sees or notices. He'll whisper into your ear and sneak a few touches here and there, he'll give you a heated gaze that is gone as quickly as it appeared, and for a while you'll think you're going insane; it's like he's using his tactics against you, to tease you.
Other than that, he wants to keep that stuff inside the safety of your own home for the most part. As far as experimenting goes, he'll give most things a whirl if you really want him to, as long as it's within some realm of reality.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?):
He will practically never be the first to tap out, just so you know. While he might not be able to cum time and time again, he makes sure that when he does cum, he makes it count. You could swear that you've had like 5 rounds back to back, but honestly, it's usually 1-2 rounds that just feel like they last an eternity because he uses practically all of him to make you cum as many times as he can.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?):
Not for him, no. As for you though? More tools to make you cum, pretty much.
He doesn't think he needs them, and he doesn't actually care all that much for them; but every now and then, when he's feeling like a little shit, or he thinks you've had it coming, he'll have you close to passing out if given the chance.
He's not threatened by them. He knows that he can make you feel so much better than whatever toys you have. You're free to use them as much as you want when he's away, but if you use them while he's there, he'll either take over to "show you how it's done", or he'll take a seat and tell you to give him a good show.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease):
It's probably safe to say that Simon is not a very fair man. He'll drive you up the wall when he feels like it, acting like everything is right as rain while you feel like he's already fucked you just from looking at you.
He'll deliberately slow down or pause when he can tell that you're close and grin lazily at you when you complain, he'll whisper the absolute filthiest things to you while passing by before moving on like nothing happened, he'll sneak up on you just to snatch you up and kiss the breath out of you before he just walks away.
So if you can, give him a taste of his own medicine, will you? He deserves it.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.):
Very quiet other than maybe a few sighs, grunts and whispers. Every now and then you might get a moan out of him, but he tends to hold them back. Not because he's ashamed or anything, but because he'd much rather hear you. He'll whisper endless praise and dirty nothings to you, but that's the most you'll get out of him, sound-wise.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character):
This was actually insane, and very unlike him. Well, having you up against the wall and hanging in his arms by the crook of your knees wasn't entirely unlike him - but fucking you in someone else's bathroom definitely was. You had been invited to a little dinner party over at Mactavish's place, and the whole team and some of their older colleagues were there. You were having a good time, and you were sure that Simon was, too, but at one point during the evening, he told you he needed your help with something. You were none the wiser to his plans - he had some stitches on the back of his shoulder and you thought that maybe he just needed you to check on them.
He took you into the bathroom, closed and locked the door and before you could get a word out, he turned to you, unbuckled your belt and pressed you up against the wall as he shoved his hand down your underwear. He covered your mouth with his own, making sure to keep any suspicious sounds confined to this room.
You completely lost your sense of time, but at some point, after fingering you into oblivion, he'd tugged your pants halfway down your legs, hoisted you up and there you were; trying your absolute hardest to stay quiet while you hung helplessly in his arms as he fucked you without even a moment's pause. He didn't say a word, didn't utter the slightest sound, he just stared intently at you and rammed into you with a determination that you'd never seen in any other man before. You didn't know how you were going to explain the weakness in your legs and the sweat and flush of your face once the two of you went back out to the party, but at the moment, you were far from capable of forming any sort of coherent thought anyways, so you'd just give that job to Simon once he was done.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes):
Sits somewhere between 6-6.5 inches, and he's quite a bit thicker than most others that would have the same length. As mentioned before, you need a proper and thorough warmup before you can take him and he's generous with it, so even though you always feel the stretch when he pushes into you, it's never a painful one. It just leaves you speechless, that's all.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?):
While he always wants you near, it's not always sexual. He needs the calm and domestic moments just as much as he needs the more intimate and sexual ones. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen often though; it might not be an "every single day"-thing, but it's not far from it. He's clear to let you know when he wants you, but he likes it more when you initiate.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards):
He actually stays awake for a good while after that, taking the time to simply listen to you breathe and feel your heartbeat against his chest. He usually doesn't like complete and utter silence because his ears are most likely ringing from chronic tinnitus, but the sounds of your sleep are just enough to keep him distracted from it. He also takes this time to commit everything about you to memory (as if he hasn't already). He oh so carefully caresses your cheek, strokes your hair and presses a soft kiss to your forehead, but you never notice, and he'll never tell you. Once he's satisfied and once he's finally convinced himself that you're not going anywhere, he'll finally settle and close his eyes to sleep.
#cod mw2#cod mw2 fic#simon ghost riley#simon riley#cod ghost#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley smut#simon riley smut
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🪼secrets
pairing: matt x reader
summary: where reader and matt think that nick and chris have left the house
genre: SMUT!!! if that makes you uncomfortable dni!
warnings: head (fem receiving) that's about it
a/n: day 3 of smutmas. kinda love this tbh.
masterlist
---------------------------------------------------------
you had been friends with the triplets since almost the day they moved to LA. but that was the day you and matt also started your rendezvous. for the last year you and matt had been secretly hooking up.
you guys never did it when his brothers were in the house out of fear of being caught. there is no reason why the other two wouldn't want you two to be doing this except for it happening in their house but you were scared of them not liking for a different reason.
you were currently driving to the triplets place when matt suddenly calls you. you answer not knowing what this could be about.
"hi beautiful"
"hello matthew"
"damn the full name. anyways i'm excited for you to come over"
"matt are your brothers home?"
"right now yes but they have already said they want to go get food when you come over"
"okay. good. talk to you in like 5 minutes" i try to finish the call
"but i want to talk now"
"and i want to drive"
"fine okay drive safely baby. see you soon"
"see you soon"
you are now walking into the triplets house towards their kitchen where they all happen to be. "so y/n is coming over right?" nick asks as i walk over "already here" i say interrupting matt before he could answer the question "y/n i missed you" nick says embracing me in a long hug "i feel like it's been forever since i saw you last" i finished with before chris takes me in an evenly suffocating hug before i walk over to matt to hug him. "i'm going to go put my bag down and i'll be right back" i say heading towards matt's room. "nick and I are about to head out to mcdonald's if you want anything" i contemplate the many options in offer at mcdonald's before deciding against getting anything.
as your about to leave matt's room, he walks in. "they just left" he says giving you his seductive eyes, waking you towards his bed before he starts passionately kissing you. "i missed this" you said in between kisses "me too" he says pushing you onto his bed resuming the make out. he slowly starts kissing down your neck to your sweet spot before sucking it. "can i take this off?" he says slowly tugging at your shirt "yes" you lowly whisper out not capable of anything else. after pulling your shirt off he pulls his off throwing both across the room somewhere. he slowly takes your bra off as he moves his way down your stomach towards your sweatpants. he continues to kiss your lower stomach as he slowly pulls down your sweats to reveal that you're not wearing panties. "you wanted this didn't you?" he says looking up at you discovering your real reason to come over. "maybe" you say in a the way that drives him crazy.
he starts to suck at your clit as you starting moaning out. suddenly nick barges in "i forgot my- ahhhh" he says before slamming the door behind him. you both stop out of utter shock. you look at each other before scrambling to get dressed and go apologise to nick. you walk into the kitchen where both nick and chris were waiting.
"look at you bro getting pussy" chris says putting his hand up for a high five, matt looking unamused "not right now chris, later" he says chris lower his hand, a frown covering his face "nick i am so so sorry you had to see that, we shouldn't be doing it at all, let alone in the house. i don't want this to ruin the friendship or make things weird" you say genuinely sorry not wanting to loose some of your best friendships. "y/n, it's fine. you guys are adults your allowed to do things like that and i had a suspicion anyway" nick says like it was almost a fact "WHAT?" matt yells not believing his ears "you had a suspicion that y/n and i were fucking and didn't think to mention anything?" matt says absolutely gobsmacked not knowing what his brother was going to say next "well at first i thought you guys were dating but then you guys weren't attached enough but the amount of times you or y/n wanted to stay home or go somewhere because the other was just for you two to be separated when chris or i saw you next was ridiculous" matt and i look at each other shocked not knowing we were being so obvious. "and then i told chris because i thought i was crazy but he said he thought the same thing" matt and i look at chris.
"next time make the secret hookups more secret"
taglist
@ermdontmindthisaccount @its-jennarose @ilovemattsturn
#strniolosworld#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo x reader#sturniolo smut
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Eddie Munson's second chance
Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles, day 14
Prompt: Angst with a happy ending
Rated: G
CW: referenced child neglect/abuse
Tags: Modern AU, Royalty AU, Royal Steve Harrington, Rockstar Eddie Munson
Notes: Continued from day 11. This was angstier in my head, but Eddie is a silly goose.
Eddie Munson is no stranger to fucking up. He's long accepted that. It's just a thing that happens.
Sometimes, you'll miscalculate a stage dive and have to cancel the rest of the tour.
Sometimes, you'll get so caught up in your stupid rockstar stuff, you'll forget about the youth center you founded to give other kids a better childhood.
Sometimes, you'll meet an adorable guy named Dustin at said youth center, and rant about how useless the monarchy is, only to find out that Dustin isn't Dustin at all, but Crown Prince Steven Harrington, aka the future king, aka owner of the saddest pair of puppy dog eyes that Eddie has ever failed to get out of his goddamn head.
Which brings him to his current predicament, sitting on the edge of his bed, waiting for Chrissy to pick up the phone. She does after the second dial tone, which is pretty impressive for three in the morning.
"We must cancel the royal visit," Eddie blurts before she can ask what's wrong.
"Eds," she yawns. "We've been over this. Just because you can't stand the guy-"
"That's not it," Eddie groans. "Listen … I met him yesterday? Only I didn't know it was him? And I flirted with him and he was really cute but I couldn't keep my fucking mouth shut and now I can't ever see him again because I don't wanna rot in some dungeon, understand?"
"No," she says. Damn, it sounded perfectly logical in his head. "But this doesn't seem like something we should discuss on the phone. Stay put, I'm coming over."
*
They don't cancel the royal visit, but Eddie refuses to make an appearance. Instead, he watches from behind the curtains of the office window like a creep. The Prince looks dashing in his tailored suit, smiling for the cameras, joking with the kids, listening to Chrissy with polite attention as she shows him around the place. Eddie loves her so fucking much, will be forever grateful that she filled in for him.
Even if she tied it to one condition.
He watches how she whispers something into the Prince's ear, how his smile melts into an angry frown. How they both turn to stare at the window. Eddie flinches away from the curtains, heart in his throat.
He wonders if the dungeons have WiFi.
*
"You have exactly ten minutes," says the bodyguard. It’s the same one from yesterday, the one called Hop. Eddie doesn’t reply, just nods stiffly. Hop looks at him like he's contemplating murder, but then he ducks out of the room with a muttered all clear.
Prince Steven steps in. The door clicks shut. Silence descends.
"Well," Eddie finally mumbles. "I guess this is the part where I bow and grovel."
The Prince snorts. "Please don't, Mr Munson. I'd rather you save us both the embarrassment."
Eddie winces, because ouch. That stings more than it should.
Neither of them says anything for a long while. The clock on the wall keeps ticking.
"So," Eddie rocks awkwardly on the soles of his combat boots. "Who's Dustin?"
Those plush lips twitch into a smile and those pretty eyes light up. For a moment, Eddie glimpses the boy from yesterday.
"My housekeeper's kid. He'd be so mad if he knew I met you and didn't get him an autograph."
He says it with genuine concern, like he's honestly afraid of getting shit from a little kid, and Eddie can't help but grin.
"Don't worry, I won't tell."
This gets him a huffed laugh.
"He'd love this place, it's really cool."
When Eddie looks up, the Prince is looking at the picture frames on the walls, photos of smiling kids and drawings in crayon and watercolors. Eddie sighs and joins him, stares long and hard of a picture of Max on her skateboard.
"Thanks. I, um … grew up around here, and I wanted to give these kids a safe space. Where they can just … be children. I never really had that myself."
A thoughtful hum. Those hazel eyes are soft with an expression that looks weirdly like longing. Eddie remembers watching stories about the royal family on his uncle's rickety TV set. A solemn-faced boy his own age trailing behind his parents outside of private jets, in lush parks and gilded halls. Always in expensive suits. Always well-behaved. Always way too grown-up.
Well, shit.
"Listen, your highness …"
"Steve is fine."
"Listen, Steve …" Eddie lets the name linger on his tongue, finds that he likes the feel of it. "I guess I've been a bit of a dick."
A hint of that bitchy little smile. "You guess correctly."
"Whatever," Eddie huffs. "I'm trying to apologize here, so may I? Or are you throwing me in the dungeons?"
"The …" Steve blinks. Then, his mouth starts to curl. "We, um … don't actually do that anymore. Unless you're into that, then I'm sure it could be arranged."
Eddie sputters and Steve bites back a laugh.
"If you really wanna make up for it," he then says. "I hear your concert next week is all sold out? Dustin would love backstage tickets."
Eddie frowns.
"Dustin as in the kid or …"
"Steve?" Hop cracks the door open. "Time to go, c'mon."
Steve smiles, bright and sunshiny. "On my way."
He turns to Eddie, grabs a pen and a notepad from the chaos on the desk.
"Backstage tickets, two of them. I'll be expecting them by tomorrow."
*
When Chrissy bustles in not five minutes later, she finds Eddie in the office chair, staring morosely at the still drawn curtains.
"Eds? Everything okay?" Eddie just groans and hides his head in his hands, so she crouches down in front of him, hands on his knees. "He didn't give you shit, did he?"
"Shit? I wish. No, it's far worse than that." Eddie cackles hysterically and unclenches his fist, presenting a crumpled piece of notebook paper. "He gave me his number."
Part 3
All my holiday drabbles
#steddie#steve harrington x eddie munson#steve x eddie#steddie brainrot#steddie fanfic#fanfiction writer#fanfiction#fanfic#my writing#steddie holiday drabbles#hype's holiday drabbles
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sage I have art donaldson ideas and ik it's 3 am but HEAR ME OUT.....
he wins for the first time in like forever and reader let's him o whatever he wants and hes like dominant but not in a bitchy way he just took control and it's making me 🥴🥴
bri omfg u have me thinking thoughts rn. . .
this type of dom!art is what i'm trying to incorporate into pt. 2 of you're such a loser, but i'm making this a separate drabble bc im thinking abt this concept too hard now
the way that i'm writing this instead of finishing pt. 2 of YSAL is crazy
content warnings: soft dom!art donaldson, switch(sub)!reader, praise, gentle throat fucking, kinda fluffy.
word count - 2k
---- ✩ nsfw below, 18+ ✩ ---
The large crowd in the stands behind you burst up from their seats and roar with praise and cheers as Art successfully wins the volley against his opponent, resulting in the winning score of 7-5 for him. You can't help but jump up from your seat too, clapping your hands together and shouting things like "YES!" and "there we go!"
Weirdly, you felt like crying on behalf of your player. This had actually been his first win in over several months. He had hit a real slump about a year ago, and beat himself up for it, which only worked to decrease his overall morale and result in more losses down the line. You never actually told him this, but you were genuinely worried that his career might be over.. that he might never win again. But here the two of you were: many long mornings, afternoons, and nights of training and practice later, and he had fucking won.
A huge grin was splayed across his pink, sweaty cheeks as the score was announced and he went to shake his opponent's hand. The other player put on a brave face, shaking Art's hand, but as soon as your husband's back was turned, the player's face dropped into a display of resentment and anger. You scoffed at this, feeling a sense of pride in your partner and smugness at his win. This might have been a slightly hypocritical reaction on your part, though, as Art had been the resentful loser one too many times in the past year. You shrug the feeling of cognitive dissonance off. Who cared? He had his mojo back now.
Art jogs off of the court and makes a b-line right for your open arms, which he joyfully runs into before lifting you off of the ground and spinning you a bit. Once your feet are back on earth, you pull away to look into his eyes, and they are positively beaming with happiness and confidence. It was like looking at a whole new man! You brushed some wet pieces of hair from the middle of his forehead back into place, and then cupped his cheek. He smiled into your touch, and then pulled you back into his chest.
"You did such a good job, pretty boy. I'm so damn proud of you," you spoke quietly in his ear as he held you. He squeezed you tighter, letting you know how much he appreciated your praise.
"Thank you," he whispers.
You pull back and take one of his hands in two of yours.
"Let's get back to the hotel, yeah?" you smiled, and he nodded tiredly with a grin before using the back of his free hand to wipe beading sweat from his temples.
--
The taxi drops the two of you off outside of the huge hotel, and you both exit the vehicle after you pay the fare with your credit card. Art takes your hand in his with a renewed sense of self-assuredness, and you smile at him as you both walk into the building and take the elevator up to the twelfth floor.
Upon arrival, you pull the key card from your pocket and hold it gently over the red light above the door handle. A brief beeping noise is emitted and then the light is green. You turn the door handle and step inside, Art so close behind you that you can actually feel his body grazing the back of yours, and the door shuts quickly after. As you begin to pivot your body and congratulate him once more, he's suddenly all over you before you can even speak--
He's grabbing hungrily at the fabric of your dress, hiking it up and gripping your soft thighs, as he leans in to bite and suck at your neck. You can actually feel his canines nearly puncturing your skin as he places one of his palms at the nape of your neck so that you can't pull away from him.
"mm-! fuck!" you moan softly, using one of your hands to grab a handful of his hair while the other wraps around his upper back. He groans as you press your body against his, almost grinding into him.
"wh-what.. what are you doing?" you breathe out, swallowing thickly as he continues to leave bruises and bite marks on your flesh that are wonderfully sore and stinging.
He licks at your neck before responding, "I'm just so proud of us, and I want you to understand how proud I am."
The warmth of his breath kind of tickles and gives you goosebumps as you reach for one of his hands and bring it down to your panties.
"You can do whatever you want, love. You've earned it," you whisper into his ear, and then he's hooking his middle finger onto the inside of your underwear and pulling them down to your upper thighs in one smooth motion.
"I know I have, now jus' let me play with you a little,"
He rubs circles into your clit with his thumb, while his other fingers slide through your slick folds.
"You like this? Me having complete control over you?" he coos.
You nod, whining as you lift your leg to wrap it around the back of his legs and give him more access to your parts. He plays with your needy pussy for a couple of minutes more before you can feel his clothed erection pressing against your leg. He pauses his finger's movements, and breathes heavily against your shoulder.
"Kneel."
A beat of silence. There is no noise, except for the faint echo of your heavy breathing. You buck your hips against his hand.
"Wha-?" you mumble, still riding the high of your previously fast-approaching orgasm.
"You heard what I said, babe. On your knees for me," he saids gruffly, before pressing a kiss to your collarbone.
Without hesitation, you drop down to the floor, kneeling in front of him and making direct eye contact with the tent in the front of his white athletic shorts. He runs a hand though your hair, peering down at you with admiration as you begin to reach down and rub at your own clit. Art smiles at your desperation, and then he's pulling down his shorts and boxers until they're almost to his knees.
He holds his stiff cock out and gives it a couple stokes, which makes him toss his head back in pleasure, before he wiggles it slightly in front of your nose. He bends down and forward to give you a sloppy, warm kiss on the lips before he's back to standing upright. Two of his fingers from his free hand tap the underside of your chin.
"Open up, baby. I wanna put it in your mouth so bad.."
You oblige, opening your mouth up wide and letting your tongue loll out and rest against your bottom lip. Your brows turn up in arousal as you continue to get yourself off with your fingers, staring up at your pretty husband. This whole situation was so incredibly hot, given Art's lifelong streak of submission. He rarely took the reigns, but you guessed that today's win must have flipped a switch that had previously been off and lying dormant within him.
He takes a step closer to you and places his leaking tip onto your tongue, which you promptly wrap your lips around and engulf in the wet heat of your mouth.
An involuntary whimper tumbles from his lips at the feeling, but he tries to stifle it by pressing his lips tightly together. He grabs a fistful of your hair, and shallowly bucks his hips into your mouth. Your tongue swirls incessantly around the limited portion of his cock that he's gifted you, and you make sure to swallow whatever drips out.
"Okay, honey, listen to me," he groans, hips still twitching, "I'm going to fuck your throat now, but I promise I'll be careful. You can tap my leg twice if you want to stop. Nod if you understand me."
You nod, his erection still filling your mouth, and you look up at him with pleading eyes. You want this just as much as he does.
"Good girl," he says softly, praising your obedience.
He slowly pushes his hips closer to your lips, successfully stuffing his length down your throat. It takes a second for you to get adjusted to the slightly unpleasant feeling, and you choke a little around him. He studies your face as he continues to stuff your mouth full, making sure that you don't look too uncomfortable or uneasy.
"There you go, baby.. taking me so well, oh ffffu-uck-"
His hips are now pressed flush to your lips, and your eyes well up with tears as you feel the stretch of your throat. You feel a bit of drool drip down your chin and land on your leg below.
Art delicately grabs your head with both of his hands now, brushing some of your hair behind your ear, and then he starts to thrust needily into your mouth. At first, it's small jerks of his hips, but these jerks soon turn into full-on pumps of heady cock in and out of your throat. Your head feels fuzzy at the sensation of this, plus your approaching orgasm and the lack of direct access to oxygen.
"mm-mm-mm-mf-!" you whine high in your chest as he fucks your mouth mercilessly, lost in his own storm of arousal and desperation. Your other hand moves to grip his leg and steady your body from rocking back and forth. You wanted to be a good toy for him right now. After all, he had worked so hard today.
He moves one of his hands to cup your lower jaw and uses his dominant one to grab your hair and hold it back from your face in a make-shift ponytail. All the while, he's still pumping your throat full of his dick, as he lets out low groans and muffled whimpers.
Your body starts to tremble and you squeeze your eyes shut as your fingers rubbing your sensitive nub bring you closer and closer to the edge. Art immediately takes notice, and you can feel the way his length twitches and jumps with interest as it pummels your mouth.
"Are you close..? I'm getting close.. I'm so close.." he moans out loudly, gripping your hair with ferocity.
You release a drawn-out whimper, alerting him that you were ready to cum any second, and he looks down at you with unadulterated delight.
"So pretty when you're cumming, babe, let me see you cum while you're sucking me down,"
At the processing of his words, your eyes quickly glaze over as you start to squirt all over your hand and the floor beneath you. Your body shakes with the waves of your orgasm as you cum, yet you still make sure that you're lavishing his erection with adequate attention.
He moans as he watches your hips arch in the aftershocks of your release, and then his hips are stilling as his balls draw up-
"Oh FUCK, oh fuck me, I'm cumming I'm nnnghh-!"
You feel a warm and rapid flow of liquid down your throat that follows the sound of his cries of ecstasy, and you instinctively swallow it all. Every single drop, and this effectively works to milk his cock dry as he continues to spill into your mouth and whimper with each throb and pulsation of his orgasm.
After he rides out the last bit of his high, Art attempts to catch his breath as he slowly pulls himself out of your mouth. You cough and splutter a bit, having gotten used to the full-feeling, and then swallow a few times to soothe your used throat.
"Where did that.. where did that come from?" you gasp out, also trying to regain the steadiness of your breathing.
He laughs softly with raised brows, before blowing out a harsh breath of air through puckered lips. His brows knit together in genuine surprise and contemplation.
"I honestly have no idea, but I kinda liked it."
You smile up at him, wiping at your spit-covered chin.
"Me too.. maybe this will be a new incentive for you to win," you tease.
"If that's how it's gonna be, I'll win every match from now on," he smirks, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead.
"You're on."
---
im thinking so many thoughts.
ps. sorry if there's any errors, i wrote this at 3 am :,)
#🩷 - thirsts#i am a firm sub!art donaldson believer#but this was kinda#like i get it now#sage's asks#mike faist#mike faist nation#challengers 2023#challengers movie#art donaldson#challengers#art donaldson x reader#art donaldson smut#connor murphy#panic tv show#riff west side story#panic tv series#mike faist smut#dodge mason#dodge mason x reader#dodge mason smut#mike faist x reader
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Y'know what? Fuck it (gives u guys a list of poc artists to listen to cause the white ppl on the music side of tumblr have been embarassing me)
List is under the cut, and warning bc I made it very long
Rock:
Los Abuelos De La Nada
Gesu No Kiwami Otobe
Chuck Berry
Ben E. King
Los Prisoneros
Ahmed Fakroun (ok this one's french art rock but in my book it still counts)
Burnout Syndromes (been fucking w them since I got into Haikyuu lmao)
Infinity Song (their hater song genuinely gets me every time LMAO)
People in the Box
N.E.R.D (my god if u don't know them.. idk dude my brother has been obsessed w them for forever so i just was not getting away regardless lol)
Punk/Punk Rock (& other punk subgenres):
Nova Twins (u must listen to them it's just the way it's gotta be guys)
Rina Sawayama (her hatred of Matty Healy is so attractive. i cannot believe i found her two years ago cause i still remember i would not shut up when i first heard her music it was so good)
BABYMETAL (the way their band name just straight up screams at people gets me every time lmaooo)
Indie:
The Younger Lovers
Mashrou Leila
Stella Jang
Shak SYrn (Jenni is on repeat in my room at any given moment)
Steve Lacy (if u listen to more than just Bad Habit u will find an actuall amazing discography)
Jenny Nuo (i have been OBSESSED w her music since like 2021 ish and it is a crime she hasn't blown up more imo)
Nujabes
Hemlocke Springs (oooo i hate that she does not get more love!!! synth pop and alt indie is such a fun niche like!!!)
Lyn Lapid (in my head she's huge but i have recently learned that artists i think r super popular may be unknown to an entire genre of ppl soo)
Megagonefree (found them on ig and omg!! PLS go check them out genuinely)
boa (i am once again shaming u if u don't know them)
Wallice
JAZZ (in all caps bc I fucking LOVE jazz no it's not dead go listen to jazz rn motherfuckers):
Idris Muhammad
Esperanza Spalding
Joanna Wang (ok she does pop and folk music too but idk she felt most appropriate here)
SAMARA JOY (put. some. respect. on. her. name. i would actually go to war for her i am not kidding. also this is in all caps bc MY MOM GOT TO SEE HER LIVE??? AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHO SHE WAS PLS I WAS SO MAD OMGGG but i've been promised tickets next time so we're good)
Sade (my og one and only)
Funk:
Fadoul
George Clinton (i mean he's just a classic yknow)
Parliament (Give Up the Funk can make me dance like no other i swear)
Stevie Wonder (i mean.. like if we're on the topic of classics anyway then...)
Michael Jackson/The Jackson 5 (moreso his earlier stuff if my memory isn't lying to me.. look it's been a second since i listened to mj IM SORRY i am a busy person ok TT)
R&B:
Valerie June
Maxine Nightingale (if u don't listen to her... how do u have fun? actual question i put her on every time i need to feel happy atp)
Boney. M (technically they're reggae but they also count as R&B so idk.. i'm just putting them here if anyone wants me to move them later i will)
Amahla (Ca Suffit was so good and got me to check out the rest of her music, YOU SHOULD TOO!!)
Mary J Blige (not to judge but like... if u don't know THE queen then idk how to help you tbh)
SZA (wouldn't be a list without her in it tbh. i'm in love w her not even joking abt that)
Kali Uchis (to this day i cannot believe i saw her live i'm truly never getting a better moment than that omggg i have such a big crush on her anyway)
Aupinard (if ever u need to just vibe, this is the man u go to.)
Wejdene (TU PARLES AVEC UNE ANISSA MA MOI J'APPELLE WEJDENE- she's been my day 1 since i was like thirteen i can't even lie)
Annisse (just found out she only has like ~500 listeners on spotify??? apparently i'm one of them tho lmao so yeah go get that number up guys i love her too much for this disrespect)
Sister Sledge
Cheryl Lynn
Reggae:
Daddy Yankee (he's an honourable mention cause i couldn't not lmao)
Skindred (they're a reggae/metal fusion band and i will shut up abt them when i'm dead bc Nobody rewired my brain chemistry!!)
Manu Chao
Toquinho (i was so convinced this man was bossa nova but apparently he is reggae and i need to do some music theory review)
Folk:
Sushi Soucy (oh the things I Deserve to Bleed had me going thru in 2020/2021)
Miriam Makeba (Pata Pata should be enough to get anyone listening to her, just saying)
Lead Belly (do urself a favour and do some research on this man, i'm not kidding even if u don't like folk music u should know abt him- ESPECIALLY if u like Nirvana that'll make sense later trust)
Pop:
Corinne Bailey Rae (she has so much good music that gets ignored bc of Put Your Records On so.. yeah go listen to Black Rainbows she's only gotten better as time goes on lol)
Dru (he is for any person who likes ke$ha. i'm so serious he is early 2000s in a bottle and i love his music ur rlly missing out if u ignore him)
Monique Hasbun (found her recently! she's a Palestinian, Mexican and Salvadorian artist who plays around with Latin pop and does a lot of fusion music. she's dope go listen to her fr)
Mohammad Assaf (he made the Palestine song that's been going around ig a lot, but his other stuff is great as well. he's another Palestinian artist, so once again, go check him out!!)
Pinkpanthress (i LOVE her she's so much fun to just vibe to and idk how anyone couldn't have heard of her atp but then again this is the sight that didn't know who drake was so... sigh. go listen to her if u don't already!!)
Aliyah's Interlude (BROOO if u haven't heard of her actually go listen rn i'm so serious she is so good i can'ttttt ok bye)
Veondre (had a collab w Aliyah on It Girl and is gonna be releasing her own music very soon! she's trans too so go give her some love)
Shalco (wasn't sure whether to put him here or in hip hop, but his stuff is very very good either way)
Ado (she's j-pop but it's a form of pop so into the pop category she goes)
Moon (she's got two songs out rn, Moonlight and Seoul City Drift, and both r going on loop in my head at all times)
Jay Chou (call me a basic bitch idc he's good ok)
Atarashii Gakko! (i wouldn't say they're j-pop, but google did, so i'm just going w it lol)
flowerovlove (just trust me on this one)
El Tio Gamboin (Los Gatitos is such a cute song)
Grace Chang (see note for Jay Chou)
King Gnu (for all my j-pop lovers... come get ur man)
Salsa:
Lalo Rodriguez (included this genre specifically so i could mention him)
Adalberto Santiago
Roberto Roena (he's a classic i can't lie)
Hector Lavoe (i think he might be the most popular one in this genre lol)
City Pop (this is its own genre bc i literally did a presentation in high school abt it and i'll be damned if i don't flex my knowledge now):
Mariya Takeuchi
Miki Matsubara (my QUEEN my everything my-)
Anri
Taeko Onuki (one of my most listened to artists last yr for a Reason)
Kaoru Akimoto
Kingo Hamada
Jun Togawa
Bossa Nova:
Joao Gilberto (ooo he gets me every time i fucking love this man)
Elizeth Cardoso
Johnny Alf (forgot this man the first time around my bad BUT he's called the father of bossa nova for a reason so)
Hip Hop:
Flyana Boss (they're sooooo good i actually can't gush enough i have never felt so girlypop listening to music before go listen to them!! found the duo through ig so yeah if u want go follow them on there too to show support)
Lil Uzi Vert (for any emo lovers, go check out his song Werewolf with Bring Me the Horizon it is SO GOOD)
Samyra (she's slowly curing my body dysmorphia lol)
Yame (there's an accent on the e but idk how to do that on tumblr. anyway my ass loves french rap and before him i was stuck with klub des loosers so he saved my faith in the genre i can't even lie)
Lay Bankz (u cannot be chronically online and not have heard Ick yet, but i'm repping her regardless bc SHE'S SO GOOD)
A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie (HEAR ME OUT-)
Kaliii (Area Codes was one of my most listened to songs last year... as it should be tbh)
Miguel (he does R&B too i just first listened to him bc of his collab w J.Cole sooo)
Tyler the Creator (putting him on here just to brag abt getting to see him in concert lmao)
XXXTentacion (he has been mourned and talked abt an insane amount, but he deserves it i'm not even gonna joke on this one. his artistry is insane and he deserves some love if u haven't listened to him yet)
Kendrick Lamar (i mean i've been reblogging stuff abt him enough. Mr. Morale was actually the album that made me start Listening listening to him and i'm honestly glad it was bc that album is still my favourite to this day if i'm being totally honest)
Renaissauce (criminally and i do mean CRIMINALLY underrated)
#ok i'm stopping here bc i'm a little scared that tumblr is gonna crash on me soon#but u guys get the point#if anyone wants an extension of this list w more genres i would be happy to provide btw#this felt so chaotic to make but it was rlly fun to go through my spotify and actually check the artists i listen to#idk sometimes u just have to remind yourself that you do in fact have good music sometimes lol#music#kendrick lamar#tyler the creator#kali uchis#samara joy#music recs#was contractually obligated to make this after seeing how white some ppl's playlists r apparently#and like guys... you've got no excuse if my white ass can find time to appreciate music#plus these artists r all amazing on their own anyway so check them out regardless#also i'm so sorry to my moots for not shutting up abt music lately#apparently i had a lot of feelings abt it that i have not been getting of my chest so#i'll be back to posting the norm soon (although what even is the norm for me lol)
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𝐒𝐋𝐎𝐖 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 ୭ ˚.⁺⊹ .ᐟ
𝐒𝐋𝐎𝐖 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒!𝐓𝐎!𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒
𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃!𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐗 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑
𝐀/𝐍: hello!!! im back from the dead lolol! so this story is actually a snippet from my wattpad i’m writing and you should follow! my user is @lisysturniolo and the story is called saturn! ( if you see any mistakes, NO YOU DONT! ) enjoy! 🪐
𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍: this story does have oc’s but the reader is called y/n if that makes sense. emersyn and estrella are sisters, you and kinsley are sisters, obviously the triplets are brothers, and rarity is a family friend of yours! okay happy reading!! 📖
⋆⭒˚｡⋆ REAL LIFE !
"i'm not going in that water with you!" you scream from where your umbrella is on the beach.
nick, matt, and chris decided to go to the beach for the weekend and thought to invite everyone. you mainly, but then you invited everyone else and they couldn't say no.
"why not? the weather is so beautiful n/n," rarity chimes, wanting you to oblige to her request. rarity goes and tries to get you up by your arms. "the whales and sharks aren't for miles away, let's just go."
"rarity, i'm not doing it. you know how i feel about the ocean." you pull your arms down and lean back in the chair.
"yeah i know, you're a fucking pussy," rarity laughs, sitting down on the sand near her, going on her phone. "where are matt and chris?"
"they're getting the cooler out the car." you pick up your magazine and starts flipping through the pages.
soon after, emersyn and estrella come over with nick.
"where have y'all been?" you question the three while they come over and lay on their towels.
"nick had to pee and i wanted to go inside for a few." estrella replies, laying on her towel face down.
matt and chris eventually come back with the cooler and a few gas station bags.
"i knew you guys weren't just getting the cooler, you guys took forever bro." rarity gets up from her spot and makes her way over to where the cooler is.
"ask this fucking kid why we took so long." matt comes over and sits down in front of you, leaning his head back against the edge of the chair.
you and matt are genuinely best friends. like you don't have awkward tension between you guys, you tell each other everything and even though matt has a suspicion that you might like his brother, he doesn't bring it up, knowing the subject makes you want to crawl in a ball and die.
"shut the fuck up matt, at least i got something for everyone." chris sets down the gas station bags on the cooler and sips his pepsi.
"can someone hand me my drink and chips?" you ask, and chris immediately gets up and hands them to you. you blush very faintly. stop fucking blushing you idiot.
"here n/n," he says.
"thanks."
estrella, nick and rarity all lock eyes and laugh silently. nick and his posse, consisting of estrella and rarity, all have been down your throat about this tension they think is upon you and chris. so when they started laughing, you just rolled her eyes and flipped your magazine again.
"how long do we all want to stay here again?" emersyn asks.
"maybe like half an hour? i'm trying to get my tanning in."
a few minutes after rarity last spoke, kinsley finally turns up from wherever she was.
all eyes eventually end up on kinsley and she widens her eyes and puts her hands up in defense. you tilt your head slightly and raise your eyebrows. "and just where the fuck have you been? i low-key forgot you were even here."
"i went to the hot tub inside, met a few guys, they're cool," she replies, getting her snickers bar and mountain dew from the seven eleven bags. "just came by to get my stuff. i'll meet you guys back at the hotel."
"were they at least cute?" emersyn giggles from her towel.
"some of them are, yes emmy." emersyn decides to get up and follow kinsley to the hot tub.
"just be safe and text me please." you beg.
"alright see ya later." kinsley walks away with emersyn, chatting away at anyone they could find.
everybody, after three more hours, decided to go back to the hotel and change into their pajamas.
the way this trip was set up is that everyone was in a different room. rarity and estrella shared one, matt and chris, kinsley and you, and emersyn and nick.
for some fucking reason, nick and matt wanted to talk about something without chris, and emersyn wanted to sleep with kisley to talk about all the hot guys they saw, go fucking figure, so chris and you had to share a bed and a room.
currently, chris was showering and you were sitting on your shared bed, watching tiktok and scrolling through instagram. when you heard the bathroom door open, you turned and faced the door, revealing a shirtless chris.
your eyes widened a little bit at the bluntness of him coming out the bathroom shirtless. chris noticed her eyes widening and chuckled, "i just forgot a shirt, i won't be like this for long,"
you didn't say anything, stuck in your own trance. chris was shirtless in your room. what if he wanted to stay shirtless? what if he just pulled you in for a kiss right then and there? not that you had a problem with that but what if everyone else di-
"you also don't have to stare either." he laughs, setting his phone down on the nightstand. and pulling up the desk chair to sit in front of the tv.
"sorry, i wasn't trying to stare." you mumbled.
"it's alright, seriously, you just seemed out of it. your eyes were really wide too." he replied, setting up his ps5 in the room.
"chris why are you setting that up in here? you're only saying for the night."
"yeah but matt wanted to play duos on fortnite so i gotta plug it up here."
you just roll your eyes playfully and go back to your tiktok, making sure to put your headphones on, knowing that chris would be screaming if he lost.
after some time, they got off the game and chris crawled in bed with you hesitantly. you notice his hesitant behaviors and decide to question him.
"everything alright?"
"yeah i was just thinking because did you want to put a pillow in-between us or did you just want to sleep together?"
you laugh and wipes your eyes, "you act as if we haven't shared a bed before."
"yeah i know but i didn't know if this would be different-"
"kid just get in the bed."
he sighs and gets in the bed with you, flipping over and going on his phone.
you wake up out of your dream.
your eyes start adjusting due to being closed for so long. but you didn't even have time to process your dream because-
"n/n, are you alright?" chris gets up and rubs his tired eyes.
"what? yeah just a dream."
chris yawned and pulled a pillow to sit under his neck, facing scarlette now. "do you want to talk about it?"
"umm, no not really."
"okay."
the two of you sit in slience, looking up at the ceiling for a little bit before you laugh, speaking up again. "do you think stars are actually big balls of gas or something else?"
"what?"
"like how do they get that shape? you know with like the pointed sides? how are they shaped like that if they are actually just big balls of gas?" you put your hands above your head, giving chris a visual.
"i don't know n/n, what do you think?"
"maybe like the angels made it so they look pointed for our visual and up in the sky, they are actually big balls of gas."
chris chuckles at the girls rambling but decides to feed into it. "do you actually believe everything that we were taught in school about science and everything?"
"i mean they are payed to teach us this stuff so, no not really. but if i find a cool tikotxk explaining how science works then, then i'll believe it."
he laughs, "so you believe everything you see on tiktok?"
"not necessarily, but i think it's just interesting."
"hmm," he yawns again." we should probably go to sleep, everyone wants to get breakfast in the morning."
"okay," you turn away from him.
before you could fully go to sleep, you very faintly feel chris's arm sneak around your waist and pull you a little into him.
#𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒚'𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#chris x reader#chris sturniolo x reader#nicolas sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#sturniolo fluff#sturniolo fan
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My Love is mine, All mine (18+) (CEO! Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon -Modern AU)
Read Chapter 2 here // Series Masterlist
Chapter 3
Summary : You wish that you weren't like this but how could you not be this way when you are married to a man like him?
Warning: 18+, smut, insecurities, mention of abuse, smoking, extreme insecurities and trust issues, mention of infertility, reader has anxiety, mention of infidelity.
Daemon looked at you for a moment as you told him that you wanted to join the NYC trip before he walked towards you.
“Are you sure love?” He asked softly so you gave him a smile that wasn't really genuine.
“I'm sure..you just came back and now leaving again..i want to be with you..i don't want to miss you” you placed your arms around his neck so he leaned down and kissed you, his lips lingered over yours for a moment and the sweet intimate gesture made you smile.
“I'll ask Sheena to arrange for your ticket”
And there went your smile.
She was his secretary and this was the basic part of her job. Marcus had the same job and so did the other secretaries before him but every time your husband mentioned her name so softly, something burned inside you. It reminded you of similar encounters with women who worked for him before and the intense emotions that had come with them. Though you knew it was part of their jobs and there was nothing more to it, you couldn't shake the uneasy feeling that came with it.
“Pack your stuff yeah? I'll have to make some calls darling” he kissed your forehead and stepped out of the bedroom with his laptop in his arm.
The flight was to leave a few hours later so you prepared your luggage, to be honest you didn't really enjoy the plane rides, they cramped your back and left you with a splitting earache. The boredom also sucked because Daemon would always work half of the time.
You were on top of his lap, with your wedding dress still on your body even though it's been two hours since he had taken you back home. You looked disheveled, Daemon had a few strange kinks and one of them was to fuck you all night long while your white dress was still on your body.
“Oh that's good darling..you look like an angel” he moaned and mumbled as you hopped up and down on him slowly.
“Mmmmhm? Mrs Targaryen is a good look on me” he smiled as you said that but then it faded slowly so you cupped his cheeks and kissed him.
“What is it dae?” you asked him as you kissed him tenderly. He could barely afford this wedding and the thought of not being able to treat you with a honeymoon was eating him up severely.
“I want to show you the world someday..i really do” you smiled as he said that. You didn't need a honeymoon or a fancy trip, as long as you had him you didn't need anything else. Money definitely made life easier but it wasn't everything for you.
“I know.. and I believe in you..you'll show me everything this world could offer” your fingers caressed his lip so he wrapped his arms around you tightly.
“Mmmm I'd never let you down babygirl..I'd never do anything that would hurt you I promise my sweet angel..thank you for choosing to be mine when you could have had anyone”
As the plane ascended, you snapped out of your thoughts to cast a quick glance his way. His casual attire - a purple long sleeved v neck shirt and black trousers- made him look so approachable that you just wanted to cuddle him, well fuck him first before you get onto that.
It frustrated you at times how much you still desired your husband, especially considering that people often claimed that such attraction wouldn't last forever. However, you knew that wasn't the case for you, he would always be the only man you'd ever want in your life and then you wondered if still felt the same way about you.
Glancing to your left, you spotted Sheena busy with her laptop, hearing the clacking of her nails against the keyboard. You knew you had never been drawn to a career like some of these high-flying women, and you often wondered if he found those traits attractive in a woman. The thought left a bitter taste in your mouth, making you question your worth all over again as a wife and a partner.
You turned to look at Daemon again and he caught your eyes this time so he smirked..
“Stop with that look”
“What look?” you let out a giggle so he looked at you, his eyes were sparkling with mischievous intensity.
“The 'I want you right now' look” he whispered quietly,
“Shut Up” he chuckled as he looked at you.
“Did you inform your boss you won't be coming?”
You squeezed your eyes as he said that. Well that wasn't really your priority at the moment.
“I'll do it when we reach”
“As a boss I'd be pissed if you were my employee leaving on a whim”
Your smile faltered as he said that, you didn't know whether he was joking or not but the statement upsetted you anyway.
“I feel as if you didn't want me to come with you” His head turned faster than a windmill as you said that,
“Are you joking? That's not what I meant-”
“Yeah whatever Daemon..I'm going to sleep”
“Baby-”
“It's okay” you unfastened your seat belt and got up to go exchange your first class seat with Sheena.
Daemon rubbed his forehead as he watched you walk away from him, it was nearly impossible for him to comfort you when you misunderstood him like this.
“Do you mind sir?” He heard Sheena's voice so he shook his head. He had to work on his presentation anyway so he decided to concentrate on that. He wanted Sheena to hear his pitch and give him her honest opinion.
“Is she asleep?” He asked his secretary a few minutes later so she looked to the side and you seemed to have your eyes closed.
“Close the blinds..she gets disrupted easily”
Your eyes teared up as he said that, he made no effort to go comfort you and on the top of it he was closing the blinds when it was just him and the secretary in there with him. You really wanted to cry in privacy so you got up and did the same.
You know very well that Daemon wasn't cheating on you and even if he was he wouldn't be doing it so brazenly while you were right there next to him but it still bothered you. So much so that you wanted to go back home and disappear to some place where you didn't have to see Sheena or every other beautiful woman he met on a daily basis. Your irrational jealousy was making you want to escape. You wanted to go back home and disappear, to run away from the intense feelings that consumed you whenever he paid attention to anyone else but you.
“You're a funny man Mr. Targaryen” Sheena giggled loudly and you heard that very well.
“Stark is a peculiar bloke, needs theatrics to be impressed” Daemon answered her so she giggled again. Okay he was not that funny Sheena you thought .
Ohh but he was, he was everything in one person while you were just you, so basic and nothing interesting to offer to a man like him.
About an hour later Daemon opened your divider and you were all bundled up on your bed so he picked you up and you woke up as soon as he had placed his arm under your head
“Sleep on me?” He mumbled softly so you hummed in response. “I'm sorry” he spoke again as he laid down with you on top of him.. and then you felt bad, this happened every time, he'd make a joke that you somehow took personally when you were drowning in your insecurities and you'd get upset like this and then he'd apologize for it which wasn't really fair to him. None of this was his fault.
“It wasn't your fault..I'm sorry”
You looked up at him so he wrapped his arms around you and tightened his grip.
“Shhhh it's okay..i love you my darling wifey”
“Love you hubby”
As you landed in NYC, you watched Sheena tailing you two so you asked her to join you both politely, until now she hadn't given you a reason to despise her, you had a god of a man and women desired him, that wasn't a crime really.
Before he left for the meeting you grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and kissed him as sensually as you could.
“Getting me hard and uncomfortable when I have to pretend to be so prim and proper should be a punishable offense” he mumbled as he cupped your cheeks so you giggled in response.
“You can always punish me however you want”
“Mmmm I'll take you up on that” he kissed you one more time before he cupped your cheek “thank you for coming with me”
“I always come with you-”
“No I'm serious, I can't wait to come back to you.. I have something to look forward to now instead of coming back to an empty and cold bed” he mumbled as he squeezed your butt between his palms, a little more would have caused you both to turn off the lights and stay in this room so you pulled away from him.
“Mmm I'll wait for you”
As he was gone you were getting bored out of your mind so you decided to talk with Shelly, she was the only one who actually understood these thoughts you had in your head all the time.
“Is he extra attentive to you these days?” She asked you so you thought about it, well sex has been quite regular since he had returned from the trip but when it comes to attention he always made you feel prioritized.
“Not really..i mean he's always this way”
“Not to alarm you or anything but you know how they say that when men are tempted by someone outside of the marriage they tend to be more attentive to their spouses..it's a guilt thing..thats what Johnny did”
You sat up suddenly as she said that, you weren't even thinking about that to be honest. Now you have something to actually worry about.
About two hours laters Daemon called you and told you to meet him in the lobby as he wanted to take you and Sheena out for dinner.
“You don't mind sweetheart..do you ?” He asked you in relation to including Sheena for the dinner so you smiled, of course you mind, you wished she wasn't here at all.
“Her joining us for dinner? Ofcourse not” you mumbled softly so he leaned down to kiss your forehead. He was a good guy, a part of you knew he'd have done the same thing if it was some other woman, that's how he treated Marcus as well.
But then your mind drifted towards the part where you imagined them together if you were not here. Marcus left two weeks ago, that means that he had taken Sheena with him for the last week's trip as well, there must have been dinners and lunches together.
Perhaps they went to a local bar, had a few drinks, that's when their talks must have gotten deep and Daemon had decided to ask her about her past, she must have cried while telling him her experiences.
And then you pictured him caressing her arm to comfort her and then kissing her–
“Darling? Y/n?” He called out your name so you got back to reality..
“Yeah?”
“Are you feeling okay hmm?” He asked you as he rubbed your arm so you nodded, he had pulled a chair out for you so you sat down. Sheena also looked at you with a concerned expression on her face. Did you look crazy when you got lost in your head so often? You must.
Daemon sat down next to you and for a moment his scent and the gentle look on his face as he looked at you had calmed you down.
“Yeah.. how did the meeting go?” You asked him as you caressed his cheek lightly so he gave you a smirky smile.
“Great.. meeting again tomorrow.. hopefully the deal will get finalized”
“It will..I know it will”
“Your unwavering faith in me still astounds me”
You smiled softly as he said that, you had faith in him but not when it comes to your marriage.
Throughout the dinner Sheena barely spoke but you watched her eyes wandering.
Daemon was so easy to love and fall in love with, he had his way about himself, he attracted women of all kinds and that wasn't either of their faults, it became a problem only when those women didn't know their limits.
So for Sheena's sake you were hoping she won't make that mistake.
And for your sake you hoped Daemon won't hurt you eventually, the constant temptation on his way kept you on edge and you didn't really know how to get over it. Therapy wasn't really an option as getting therapy would confirm these fears you had, it would confirm that you had a problem.
Daemon wanted to make a few calls and discuss tomorrow's pitch with Sheena so you excused yourself and left for the room to go straight into the shower. You wondered what daemon was thinking about you joining this trip so suddenly, wondered if he had any clue of the madness rummaging through your head. As the warm water hit your skin you took a deep breath, this wasn't healthy you knew that. This was so damaging and you feared someday you'd do or say something so awful that it would push him away from you.
“You have been committing punishable offenses since last night” Daemon whispered in your ear so you gasped in surprise,
“What have I done?”
“To begin with you got upset with me then you got me so aroused before my meeting and now you are showering without me” his fingers slid down the side of your waist and as he placed his hands on your stomach you quickly grabbed it and placed it on your core for two reasons, one you really wanted him to touch you there and secondly you felt conscious of your belly sticking out after dinner. Five years of relationship and you still felt this way around him, not all the time but your insecurities were extremely heightened these days.
“You can punish me anytime”
A few minutes later he had you on the bed underneath him with his cock slipping in and out of you in a rhythm he had mastered over the years with you.
“Can I ask you a question?” You mumbled as you caressed his lips so he sucked on your thumb lightly before he hummed in response
“Do you still feel the same way about me as you did in the beginning? I mean in bed” your tone wasn't alarming, you just sounded curious so he leaned down to kiss you..
“No i feel much better now”
“mmm why so?” his eyes sparkled as you questioned him so innocently, He wondered if you would ever know how much he loved you, he didn't think he'd ever be able to completely express how he really felt about you.
“Because now I know you and your body thoroughly, in and out..i know what makes you tingle and what makes you drip on my cock and my fingers..i feel more comfortable now then I did back then because now I know that you'd always belong to me”
The next morning you decided to go swimming so you put on a swimsuit with a dungaree on top and went down as Daemon was still asleep and wasn't willing to go with you.
As you reached the pool Sheena saw you and came out of the pool, you could tell before she had a fabulous body underneath those tight business suits but watching her in that bikini was like looking at a fashion magazine, the longer you looked at her the more insecure you felt about yourself. You couldn't find a flaw in her but when you looked at yourself you saw each and everything that made you grimace.
“Mrs Targaryen. Good morning “
“Good morning Sheena..just call me by my name please” you said to her so she smiled and sat down next to you, even as she sat she barely had any far rolls sticking out of her. What was she eating you wondered.
“Sorry..it's a force of habit”
“It's okay.. have you been to NYC before?” you asked her to keep the conversation flowing so she nodded.
“Yeah I actually lived here for five years before i moved back to Edinburgh”
“Really, how old are you?”
“24 ..” you hummed as she said that, she was young and had accomplished so much more than you ever could, you got engaged when you were her age.
“Daemon told me you had good work experience in the field”
“Yeah I passed out of MIT when I was 18 so that helped..” she mumbled as if it was no big deal.
“Wow, that's amazing.. really”
“Thank you ..you're very kind”
A few minutes later you felt Daemon's hand grab your cheeks as he pushed your head up to make you look at him, he was standing right behind your poolside chair.
“One more offense is included in your punishment list..leaving me all alone in bed like that” he leaned down to whisper in your ear and you couldn't help but grin. He then sat down in front of you with his back to your chest before he passed you the sunscreen so you slid down his casual shirt past his shoulders and pressed a small kiss before you squeezed a dollop full on your palm to rub it in his skin.
You felt Sheena's eyes on you so you looked to the side and she quickly looked away.
Before stepping into the pool he asked for you to join him but you denied since you felt conscious of your body especially now in front of Sheena.
While he was swimming a minute later Sheena went into the pool again, she asked you to join but you denied again. She maintained her distance from him, they weren't even having a conversation with each other but you saw her watching him from the distance. You couldn't help but wonder if Daemon would have done something if you weren't here.
Later that evening he took you to the Stark’s celebratory party as the deal was finalized. Sheena was there too, of course she was, she was his personal secretary. This was getting exhausting for you, mentally and emotionally, it was toxic to think this way all the time, to think that the man who vowed to never hurt you or betray you would end up doing just that.
If you weren't so insecure about yourself, perhaps a relationship as loving as the one you had with Daemon wouldn't have felt so deeply terrifying. You always knew the day he'd betray the sanctity of this marriage would be the worst day of your life, something so irrevocably awful that you'd never be able to move on from that.
An hour later as you both made your way back to his room he already had a few drinks in his system and he was always in a certain mood when he was drunk like that, his inhibitions washed away as the alcohol kicked in.
In those nights he always preferred to take complete control of you, he tied you up and treated you like a filthy whore, with your consent of course. And tonight wasn't any different. He fucked you for hours in every position he could take you but there was always a sense of tenderness in his words and his movements, even when he was rough he wasn't cruel to you or your needs, you were his wife and he treated you like one, the constant whispers of his adoration for you made your heart skip beats every few minutes.
And during those moments, only for a fraction of second you found your insecurities washing away, the closer he was to you the better you felt but you knew the morning would arrive and then he wouldn't be there, he'd be at work and he'd be around her for more than half of the day.
“I'm just saying Jhonny used to be so shady when he was fucking cheating on me, all of a sudden I was getting flowers and gifts whenever he'd come home after fucking that whore”
You sighed as Shelly said that, you had just returned from the trip this morning and calling her was perhaps not something you really needed.
“No offense Shelly but Daemon is not Johnny, he would never be so cruel with me”
You mumbled confidently but deep down you knew you were lying to her, you always feared that Daemon would end up doing everything he has promised not to, that's what your dad did to your mum, that's exactly what your ex did to you, that's what men do eventually.
“And Sheena..I looked her up on Instagram..she looks like a certified maneater and daemon is following her as well so he must be seeing her thirst traps posts” she stated again, now you knew you'd sit down and stalk her to see if Daemon was interacting with her.
“Well he follows back every employee of his if they follow him first”
“Well all I'm saying is be careful and prepare for the worst, it hurts less when your mind's made up”
“Thanks ..ahhh listen i have to unpack so I'll talk to you later okay” you hung up and sat down to clear your thoughts. Talking to Shelly about this only stressed you out further, it wasn't her fault, she was speaking from her experience but her experiences only made you feel doomed.
In the afternoon you decided to go see Daemon, you shouldn't have, you knew that but you still went.
As you sat down in his cabin, you received a call from him,
“Heyyy” you mumbled softly so he sighed
“Are you okay? I'm kind of busy right now. You should have called baby..I'd have told you that” he spoke softly but his words still bothered you, your eyes teared up so you didn't even attempt to speak because if he knew that you weren't feeling so good he'd have left everything behind to come see you.
“DARLING? Are you alright?” He asked again so you cleared your throat.
“Yeah I just.. thought we could have lunch together..that's it . I'll see you tonight?”
You told him so he hummed in response.
“I'm sorry I'm just really caught up right now”
“I know i understand..I'm sorry “
“Love you” he mumbled quietly and then hung up the call, you looked behind and Sheena was standing there so she gave you a smile.
“Sorry y/n ..umm there's a meeting back to back and he asked me to look after you if you needed something.. anything”
She said to you so you gave her a fake smile.
“No thank you..it's Mrs Targaryen by the way..let's just stick to that”
You knew you were being rude to her unnecessarily and you felt worse as her smile dropped down.
“I apologize mam”
You shook your head as she said that before you walked past her to leave that place as quickly as possible.
When Daemon came home that night he kept staring at you and you eventually snapped.
“What's wrong? Talk to me..”
“About what?” You crossed your arms defensively so he sighed and took his coat off to sit down on the bed in front of you.
“Sheena told me you seemed upset” you chuckled as he said that.
“Uhuh did she tell you that I was mean to her and made her sad? Is that what she told you?”
“No..she just said that you seemed upset”
“Ohhh”
“Look I'm sorry..i was really in the middle of something”
“I know.. can we stop talking about it?” his brows furrowed as you said that, he never wanted to be upset with you but it infuriated him alot when you refused to share your worries with him like this.
“What is it with you darling?”
“Nothing I told you..”
“You know what, I'm too tired for this right now” he huffed as took his tie off.
“Yeah fine..you're always tired” you snapped back at him and his mouth opened in shock.
“What does that even mean?” He raised his voice a little so you glared at him..
“Let's just sleep okay?”
He sighed as you said that, mumbling a faint curse under his breath as he got up and went into the bathroom to shower and change for bed. This argument wasn't necessary or required at all but you were at the edge of your wits, these past few days you have been living in an absolute fear that he was going to dump you for someone like Sheena so when he came out instead of apologizing for your insensitive behavior you imposed a question that would only ruin this night for you because you knew he'd tell you the truth and you knew the truth would only bother you.
You looked him right in the eye while he was drying his hair and took a deep breath “Do you find her attractive?”
😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔
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#daemon targaryen#daemon targaryen x female reader#daemon targaryen x reader smut#daemon targaryen x reader fluff#daemon targaryen x reader angst#non canon au#modern day au#modern daemon targaryen
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