#i'm five chapters in and so far i've only written down 12 words! and i guessed the meaning of half of them
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20 questions for fic writers
Tagged by @the-real-azalea-scroggs! Had to wait until I was of my phone because doing these is a nightmare on mobile lmao
1. How many works do you have on A03?
18 as of a few days ago!
2. What's your total A03 word count?
157,937! Which is. Only a fraction of the word count in my Docs folder. Be prepared.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
I mainly write for The Legend of Zelda; specifically Linked Universe! In fact, that's all that's posted on my Ao3 currently, since my fall into that fandom began with me uploading there! Pre-Ao3 I wrote for Black Cat (Anime/Manga), Megaman NT Warrior, various Pokémon things, Assassin's Creed, Yugioh, Final Fantasy XIV and Octopath Traveler! Some of these I still write privately, but I haven't gotten around to re-posting any.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Whistling on Deaf Ears - My longest fic on Ao3, focusing on Wild and Twilight's friendship and how good intentions can lead to disaster.
Iconoclasm - Warriors deals with the room full of portraits in Cia's palace. The Chain also deals with it, but with a bit more fire.
Deserving - Twilight finally tells Rusl that he was the wolf in the village during TP, but that also means dealing with some heavier topics. Colin half overhears them and forms his own conclusions.
Something Greater - The start of the "Hyrule can see magical auras" series! In this one we deal with Legend and his many rings.
Ocean Magic - Mermaid Legend and Zora Time have a race and then fight one of the Big Octos from WW! Fun times.
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Every single one!! I love comments, they give me an excuse to ramble about my fic more!! I am always down to ramble about every single insignificant detail of any line and/or section. If you ever want more background info about one of my fics, look to the comments!
So please, I adore comments, I treat them like treasures, not responding to them would be a CRIME.
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
There's no contest; Inevitable, my (so far) only MCD fic.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Hmmm, that's hard to quantify. I usually try to end fics on a hopeful note regardless. I'd say possibly either Deserving, where Twilight reconnects with his family, or Shimmering Blue, Striking White, where Time meets the Fierce Deity settled down on Satori Mountain and they both get closure.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Thankfully, no! I've been blessed with mostly amazing and patient readers, even when my upload schedule isn't the best.
9. Do you write smut?
No, not really. I've attempted it, but I'm too asexual for it lol
10. Do you write crossovers?
Very, very rarely. Mostly privately, and only very specific ones. Only a single one has had an actual plot, so far (more on that one in question 15!).
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Nope!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Also a nope! I tend to write for smaller fandoms, where these things don't tend to happen a lot!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
I have! But it's been a while. Over a decade, in fact! I tried to find the fic to link it here, but it was on the German fanfic website fanfiktion.de, and my friend who posted it back then must have deactivated her account, because it's nowhere to be seen (I still have the Word file though!). It was a Multi-Crossover that started as an RP in a forum, and we took turns turning the RP into prose one chapter each. "If a Hero Turns to Dark" was its title. We were edgy teenagers.
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
Hissssss. Bad question. Shoo. They are all equally important!!
But it's probably TenRose from Doctor Who.
15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
One of the very few crossovers I've ever worked on; a crossover fic between Assassin's Creed and Doctor Who, that I have mapped out in both chronological and timeline order, and yes, those are different. I only ever wrote about a quarter of it, since my primary audience of it disappeared when we graduated. I doubt I'll ever pick it back up properly, and if I do it'll probably go through heavy rewrites first since it's so old. Finishing it is a nice thought, but realistically, after 9 years it'll never be high priority enough for it to actually happen.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Dialogue, especially arguments, and emotional impact. I've been told I do really well making characters feel alive and believable! Also I like to believe I'm decent at setting a scene and giving it the vibe I want it to have!
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I struggle with dialogue tags when nothing much is happening besides the talking. I always feel it's too bland, and fall back on the same phrases. My scene transitions could use some work too.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I've done this with Japanese phrases, because I was a massive weeb. Usually I followed them up with their own translations, though; I'm not the biggest fan of footnote translations, unless they are properly linked to. Simple dialogue tags are my favourite way of indicating a language switch.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Black Cat the Manga/Anime! It's a series about an assassin turned bounty hunter trying to live a life separate from his murdery past, but getting dragged back into things by still wanting to avenge his best friend's death. The series has a special place in my heart and my bookshelf, it left an imprint on 13-year-old me that will never leave.
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
Probably Jailbreak, uncharacteristically enough! It's one of the only fics I never got stuck in once. Writing it was a great feeling from start to finish. I love writing all of my fics, but that was a special few days.
Tagging @ahrva @nowhere-to-go-but-down @silvercaptain24 and @aeghina! And anyone who wants to do it, really, go wild
#rav rambles#rav writes#ask game#linked universe#thank you Aza I rambled a lot lmao#rambling is cathartic sometimes#I had a good time!
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20 questions for fic writers
Thank you to for tagging me, @thisnightissparkling089 !
1. How many works do you have on Ao3?
I have only written 6 fics on AO3, but I tend to write long chapters and long stories.
2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?
313,810
Pretty good for 7 months, right?
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Only The Rookie. 😎
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Catch of a Lifetime
Snowed In
*Sense* You Know Me So Well
*Sense* You Know Me So Well, Too - The Sequel
The Heimlich
5. Do you respond to comments?
Every comment thread! I love interacting with people who read my stories. I think it's one of the things that makes writing fanfiction so much fun.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I have a few rules in my writing. 1 - Chenford is endgame. 2 - Only happy endings. 3 - No Major Character Death!
My reading and writing affect my mood, and I read to find a little spot of joy and sunshine.
That said, my sequel series, After the Snow Melts, has a lot more angst than my other stories. Although the ending is happy, it's not a perfect resolution of the story.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
The last (third) chapter of *Sense* You Know Me So Well is so amazingly sweet and fluffy that it would rot your teeth.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Thankfully, no. I've had a few rude requests for me to continue a story, but that's as close as I've gotten. I'm so grateful for the people that leave kind comments on my stories.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
No. I'll write 'spicy' scenes, but nothing I would consider smut or going into M or E categories.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
No. I've considered it, and I've read a few that are great. But I never have.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
As far as I know, I have not.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
No. But I have a few frequent commenters on Twitter/X that comment in other languages. I don't know if they read it in English or translate it, but they comment in Spanish, Portuguese, and German.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No. When I first got some story ideas, I reached out to a few writers I admired to see if they would be interested in co-writing the stories with me. None of them were interested. That's when I had to break out my big girl panties and try it by myself. 😂😎 I'm glad I did. It's been such a rewarding hobby.
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
Chenford🥰
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I have several ideas jotted down on my Notes app on my phone. I don't know how many of them will ever be fleshed out and see the light of day.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Hmmm... I'm not sure. I feel like my writing is very descriptive and in character so that the reader can really feel like they're seeing it all play out. At least that's what I hear back from some readers. My stories are also longer, which allows the reader to disappear into that world for longer.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I still feel very new at this and lack some confidence in my writing skills. I've tried my hand at a few action scenes, but I'm not sure they come together as well as the relationship/dialogue scenes. I'm also an older Millennial, so some of the social media aspect of fanfiction and this fandom are new to me.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I've done it once. I just used Google translate to get some easy Chinese for Lucy and her mother to have a quick conversation. But I speak French and Korean, so I could potentially add that in sometime in the future. I just don't know how well that would fit into a Chenford story.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
This one. I had never done creative writing in my adult life until 7 months ago, hence my lack of confidence.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
I have really loved writing Catch of a Lifetime. I feel like it's different than a lot of the stories I've read on AO3, but it still has the characters we know and love.
*Sense* You Know Me So Well is my favorite of my shorter stories, particularly chapter 2. It feels very realistic and true to what could have happened in the snow.
And chapter 2 of *Sense* You Know Me So Well, Too - The Sequel is the one I feel like draws on the deepest feelings and most genuine heart of Chenford.
Thanks, ladies! Tagging @makeitastrength and @queseraone and @girlintotv and @chenfordspiral if they're interested in talking about their writing.
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Thank you for the tag, @wyrd-syster!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
Five! I'm a newbie.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
A humble 35,362.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
I've only uploaded for The Rings of Power. A very, very, VERY long time ago, I started one crossover work between two other fandoms.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
#1: "swimming in the shallows"
#2: "if you're gonna play the game, you've got to learn to play it right"
#3: "crimson headache, aching blush"
#4: "exit light, enter night"
#5: "we could just kiss, like real people do"
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Try as I might, I can't seem to stop replying to virtually every comment I receive. It's a problem. I just...get so flattered that I want to thank people for spending any second of time reading words I strung together.
6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Angstiest? That's a tough call, considering the route my stories usually take. I'll say "exit light, enter night" because that one is by far the darkest.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
I haven't written much with what you'd call a happy ending so far - my uploaded works tend to be on the darker side. But I'd say the happiest one would be "if you're gonna play the game, you've got to learn to play it right".
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I've been fortunate enough to not receive any hateful comments on my work so far.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yes! Not well, but yes. I usually write it with some darker elements thrown in. My beloved @thecoziestbean has told me that my smut perpetually leaves her in the following state:
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
My one and only (unfinished) crossover from LONG ago was a crossover. I am far too embarrassed to reveal what both fandoms were but...it was bad.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I have not. I think the AUs I write are either so specific that it's hard to lift detail or so general that I can't claim the details within them.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I have not!
13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
No, but I have plans to co-write one with the lovely @bad-surprise.
14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
Oh this is TOUGH. Not including Haladriel because it seems like a copout. I...really loved Dean/Lisa from Supernatural. Me and my doomed ships, I suppose.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
"crimson headache, aching blush" is one that I get so excited about but can't seem to nail down. The other one would be the musician AU that will most likely never see the light of day in full, though I have posted it in some promptfills on Twitter.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Sometimes, when I hone in on the right details, I can make those details come to life in a fairly compelling way. I also have been told that I can create an atmosphere of dread fairly well.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
There are so many I could name. I cannot, for the life of me, keep a concept alive for more than one chapter, so I've confined myself to one-shots. I linger too much on the wrong details frequently. My paragraphs aren't long enough; I separate my dialogue and supporting sentences too much. I reuse phrases and details and motifs like my work is my recycling bin. My dialogue is...boring? I think my work is fairly bland. I could go on.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
Speaking just for my own writing, I'm not fluent in any other languages and therefore don't feel comfortable writing in a language other than English. In other works, I very much enjoy seeing other languages represented. I just don't feel that I currently have the ability to use other languages well in my own work. I hope that changes soon!
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Okay, OKAY. I'll reveal ONE of the above fandoms. It was the Jumper fandom (originally a novel written by Stephen Gould, adapted into a 2008 film starring Hayden Christensen). You won't catch me dead revealing the other one, though.
20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?
It's a tie between "swimming in the shallows" and "exit light, enter night". "swimming" is my first fic, and by far my best. Nothing I write ever seems to top it. It sings in all the right spots and just...works. "exit light" is not loved widely, but it is loved deeply, especially by me. I am so proud of it, of the ways that the translation from the original video game to a Haladriel AU worked so well and of the few, small details I was able to add that make it mine.
tagging @alicuntisms @bad-surprise @thecoziestbean @formerlyir @mostlydriedmango @sawdustandstardust @pursuitseternal and anyone else who wants to play! Please, understand how much I love reading these from every single author.
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20 questions for fic writers
tagged several weeks ago by @doodledrawreblogs - thanks cy! and sorry this is late lol
1. how many works do you have on Ao3? counting drabbles, 77 works!
2. what's your total Ao3 word count? 127,611 (yes, most of the works are oneshots)
3. what fandoms do you write for? I have AO3 stuff for Stargate SG-1, NCIS, Top Gun, and RPF!
4. what are your top five fics by kudos?
I thought this would just be all the multichaps I've written (or started) but I guess there's something to be said for older stuff because it's actually all Stargate! I suspect penny!fic will eventually appear on here if I ever get off my butt and finish it
In All Duty and Service (T, Stargate, S/J, 13k)
4am (G, Stargate, S/J, 2.4k)
for here I am sitting in my tin can (strike him down) (G, icemav, 7k) - 964 kudos
and ease my mind (G, icemav, 533) - 947 kudos
so put me where I belong (G, mavdad, 3k) - 853 kudos
5. do you respond to comments? Originally, I responded to every comment. Then I started getting the inevitable daily/weekly "please update" or "update" or "are you going to finish this??" comments and now I don't respond to every comment. If your comment says something nice, though, I'll do my best to respond to it eventually!
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Uhh...nothing yet, I think? I'm really way worse about saccharine-sweet, syrupy, TERRIBLY FLUFFY endings.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I wrote a 200-word ficlet that is literally only the happy ending! Just Like in the Movies
8. Do you get hate on fics? Not yet, but all my more ~controversial~ stuff is safely in my GDrive still, so....*shrugs* all my current AO3 stuff is pretty bland.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Nope. Every year I threaten to do it and then I just get all embarrassed about it and never share anything.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Not yet, but if I had a good idea for one I'd absolutely write it!
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Stealing Cy's answer for this because it's so true lol. I don't...think so?
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not that I know of! (If you would like to translate anything of mine, please go for it! There's not much to work with right now though lol)
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Nothing that's on AO3, only super-secret stuff that may never see the light of day!
14. What’s your all time favorite ship? is this question asking for an OTP? Because I have two: Sam/Jack, SG1 and Janeway/Chakotay, Voyager.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Gah, all of them. Uhhh, there's a marriage-of-convenience SJ AU where Sam and Jack have to be married to be on the same SG team that @carothepoet and I brainstormed years ago, and I doubt we'll ever finish?
16. What are your writing strengths? Silly dialogue, short fics! That's...um...it.
17. What are your writing weaknesses? WRITING VOLUME. It's not that I can't do it, it's that I don't ever prioritize my writing enough to find the time. In terms of actually putting words on the page...description is hard. Plot is hard.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Honestly, I'm just insane and "what the hell, it's a hobby not a job" enough to Google Translate something if I really need to have some dialogue in another language. Obviously I'd put a disclaimer that I have no idea if it's correct. I like making fun of the "everyone speaks English" TV trope though, so I'm far more likely to just have the aliens randomly speak English XD
19. First fandom you wrote for? The first thing I published was for Stargate. The first stuff I wrote before I knew what fanfiction was? God, probably...actually I have no clue? percy jackson? chronicles of narnia? who knows.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written? I am choosing to be an optimist today: I don't think it's been written yet!! I do, however, have a special fondness for Chapter 3 of Letters to Archie for, yes, its pettiness and fluffiness, and also for in for a penny, in for a pound because it's fun!
I haven't been on here in ages so I have no idea who to tag. I'm just gonna tag a bunch of people and hope some of them are actually active. Uh, no pressure tagging @malewifebillcage @tommyjop @curator-on-ao3 @mylittleredgirl @mrv3000 @delicatelie89 @ladywaffles @sluttyhenley @redbelles?
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[20 Question Fic Writer Tag]
Tagged by @aeide and @ainulindaelynn 💖 I did this one a few months ago but a few answers have changed since then so I'll update those. 😊
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
Six now! Four one-shots, a short-ish multi-chapter which was supposed to be a one-shot that got away from me, and my longfic which at this point I should have just waited to post but am definitely still chipping away at.
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
33,030 which is almost double my count from a few months ago. Woaaaaaaaaahhhh
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Still Assassin's Creed, now dipping into Baldur's Gate 3 as well.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Still the same five fics in the same order but with slightly different numbers:
Hideaway - 149
Bright Skies - 139
Press On, Move Along - 94
Out of the Cold - 43
Honor Bound - 29
5. Do you respond to comments?
Yes! Always.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Still Press On, Move Along.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Still Hideaway.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Still hate-free, for now.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Sure do 💀 and I've posted some of it since the last time I did this. I think the only way I can really describe it is emotionally-charged, because if I'm going to horny jail it will at the very least be in service of some kind of character development. 😭
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Still occasionally poke away at the AC x Star Wars AU, but I'm not super invested in it right now. But I'm sure that will change as soon as a new Star Wars thing comes out. Since I last did this I also went digging through the depths of my writing folder and found a Walking Dead x MCU crossover that I must have started when I was like 14 years old. Absolute fucking horror show that I am so very thankful I never wrote enough to post. 🤡
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Still no, as far as I'm aware.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nope!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No, except for yelling back and forth about ideas with friends. I would probably be open to it but also maybe not because I know I am extremely unreliable.
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
Saying "all-time" favourite feels a bit much, but as far as mental real estate and also just sheer number of words written, Leovor far surpasses any other ship I've been into. 🧍🏻♀️
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Since I did that ask game a few weeks ago, the Inquisitor Ahsoka/Rex starting a clone rebellion/post TCW AU has been on my mind. But I know that, realistically speaking, I'm unlikely to ever be invested enough to actually sit down and write it.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I'm trying to make a point to read more fiction and while it's possible that the few books I've read thus far lately just haven't been particularly good, it's certainly made me way more confident in my ability to write dialogue that feels like it would be spoken by real live humans and not aliens pretending to be humans. Similar deal with internal monologues. I'm convinced that none of these authors read their work aloud.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Still generally the same—overthinking comma usage, editing while I write and therefore being very slow, going back and forth between being stuck because I didn't plan enough and feeling stifled because I planned too much. Etc etc.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I try to avoid it as much as possible, with the exception being words or phrases that are used a lot in canon.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Still Marvel :(
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
Honor Bound is still my baby, but I didn't expect to actually like A Different Kind of Solace as much as I do, mostly because I didn't really go into writing it expecting to hit the emotional notes that it does. Also still Out of the Cold. There are some banger lines there.
Not tagging anyone because this one has gone around a few times recently but if you want to do it, you're welcome to pretend I tagged you. 😌
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Fic Tag Game
Tagged by the lovely @mischievouschan4 & @wibzenadarksiderwithasoftheart! 💖✨
How many works do you have on ao3?
Thirteen!!
2. What's your Ao3 word count?
101,352. And almost all of that has been in 2023!
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Right now, only Star Wars! In the past, I've written for Transformers as well, but I wasn't as dedicated to writing for that fandom as I am Star Wars. I actually started out in fandom as a beta reader and an artist; writing is pretty new to me!
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
the way you say my name - 332 kudos
Those Eyes Like Fire - 205 kudos
Falling Deep Into You - 167 kudos
out of our hands - 143 kudos
Suffocate Me (I'm Still Breathing) - 131 kudos
5. Do you respond to comments?
Always! I adore all of my readers and love a good joint flail in a comment thread!
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Falling Deep Into You. Let me tell you... the boys have it BAD in this one, but we do love their inability to communicate. This is the first part of a three part series. The second part (Falling For Your Body and Soul) also has an angsty ending, but things are slowly starting to resolve in this installment. There will be a third (and final part), but I haven't started working on it yet!
7. What's the fic your write with the happiest ending?
That would be out of our hands. This one starts out angsty as fuck, but resolves into the most tooth rotting, disgustingly soft fluff I've ever written. Close second would be Those Eyes Like Fire, which is mostly snark with a side of fluff.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Not so far! Though I have had hateful comments on my art in the past, and it's never fun to deal with. Fuck the haters!
9. Do you write smut? What kind?
Do I write smut... *checks AO3*. Yep, everything I write is smut. 🤣🤣🤣 I do lean towards more kink-focused/taboo smut. You know what they say... write the things that you would want to read as a reader!
10. Do you write cross-overs?
Not so far, and not sure I could do it justice!
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Not yet, but if anyone would like to... feel free to drop me a dm! 👀
13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
I have! Unfortunately, it's no longer posted, but it was a lovely experience that I would do again in a heartbeat. ALSO planning to cowrite one with @mischievouschan4 in the new year. 💖
14. What's your all time favourite ship?
I have a few! Obikin, Kylux, Kalluzeb, and Snarry!
15. What's your WIP you like to finish, but doubt you ever will?
I actually don't have one of these! I only have two WIPs at the moment... one of which I'm about to post the final chapter to (Suffocate Me (I'm Still Breathing)). The other is a long fic that I've been picking away at for a while, but fully intend to finish.
16. What are your writing strength?
I like to think that I'm really good at conveying emotion and building tension with words. I've also been told by others that I'm excellent at figurative language.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I'm long-winded. Pretty sure I could get the point I'm trying to make across in a lot fewer words than I end up doing.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I actually LOVE reading fics with dialogue in another language! I'd love to do one myself, but I'm only somewhat passable in French, and I wouldn't want to post something in another language unless I was confident in my own ability.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Transformers... which also happens to be the first fandom that I was heavily involved in! 🤖
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
the way you bend, the way you break and Suffocate Me (I'm Still Breathing), hands down. Both of these drew on some very real personal vulnerabilities, and I feel like they more than adequately represent the piece of my life that they were intended to. I'm very proud to have put them out in the world.
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No pressure tags: @tideswept, @innepttia, @anakinschmanakin, @ineffable-snowman, @tennessoui, @fishnamedsushi
#obikin#obi wan kenobi#anakin skywalker#clone wars#star wars#fanfiction#fanfic#fanfiction by darkwhisperings#a03 fanfic#tag game
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[20 Question Fic Writer Tag]
Thanks for the tags, loves! @brasideios @whereforartthoumisthios
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
1, technically, as they’re all connected.
2. What is your AO3 word count?
Currently 12k-ish. I pulled a bunch down a few months ago to rework things that were half-edited and bothering me. They haven’t returned yet, but I’m optimistic.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
AO3 will tell you only AC Odyssey, but in my active drive I have WIPs for AC Valhalla, Red Dead Redemption 2 (which I need to lure more of my AC mutuals into playing... ;)), Stardew Valley, and BG3. There maaay be a few pieces I'm reworking from fanfiction.net also. Those ones are for Knights of the Old Republic, Dragon Age Origins, and maybe even a Snow White & the Huntsman (xD). As a teen I wrote a bit of LoTR and Star Wars (old republic era OCs mostly), but that's been ages.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Fewer than five posted, so I'm skipping this one!
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Yes, mostly because I know most writers love comments, so I try to reward people who take the time. Honestly, if not for that I would blind-post everything and opt out of seeing kudos/comments. I love them, but it's too easy to depend on the reassurance. I'd rather drop them into the internet abyss and interact with people who seek me out on tumblr. I’d never give up the chance to connect over them though. You all are too kind and awesome <3
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
KotOR probably. It’s about Revan recovering her memory and reconnecting with the purpose of her fall, which leads her to walk the same way again, but with more care and less hope. Also going alone, as repentance for Malak’s fate.
ACO's has an angstier storyline (Brasidas Dx), but the actual ending is long after that wraps up, so it doesn’t quite count ;)
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
SDV probably. How could anyone write Shane without giving him a happy ending? That guy needs a happy ending!
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Not so far.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yes, mostly by accident. There's a lot of chemistry exposition there and I always cave to that. Probably equal parts F/F and F/M.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
Nope! Open to it, but my brain doesn't leap like that.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not to my knowledge. Although if anyone wanted to take my old ideas and run with them, I' it'd save me a lot of work reconfiguring! xD I also love re-writes. Everyone picks up on different nuances and I love to see the same idea expressed different ways. Direct theft not so much.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Not to my knowledge.
13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
When I was a young teen, but not since. My co-writer and I reconnected last year and its funny the kind of bond (and friction) that forms.
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
I'm not capable of answering that question. Genuinely. Pass!
15. What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever will?
I'm happily in denial about all of them, thank you very much. Leave me and my 25 fics alone! xD
16. What are your writing strengths?
Oh gosh. I've been told action, but if that's true it's entirely by luck. Writing it is like pulling teeth. I'm going to join this question with the next, because I think strengths and weaknesses are often two sides of the same, and say introspection and body language minutia, because I LOVE those, but could easily write entire chapters of that, so I'm constantly cutting that down. Blessing and a curse, ya know?
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
The above, because it's to excess, but also OCD editing tendencies. I have a thing about cadence, varying paragraph and sentence-length, and (most oppressively) magnetizing my sentences. I'm not sure what the actual term for that is, but when you tie the end of one sentence to the beginning of the next with a common thought or word. We’re taught to do it with paragraphs, obviously, but on a tighter level. Every sentence. It's fun for reader fluidity, but way too much work.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I have no skills for it, but as long as it's translated, I enjoy reading it!
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Probably LotR. I had an OC who insisted on following two steps behind the fellowship, intersecting with them a few times. Third Age, the game, was built on the same premise, so I eventually abandoned it in lieu of that.
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
Imagined or written? Because the answer is different. Imagined is probably DA:O. Written is ACO, by far. I've never put so much time in on a story. Someday I'll make it cohesive enough to post! xD
I’m still emerging from my hermit cave and don’t know who’s done what, so I’m going to skip tagging this time, but I missed you all and am glad to be back(ish) 😂
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AO3 Tag Game!
Thank you for the tag @misty-wisp :D This looks so fun!
How many works do you have on AO3?
12! And it's steadily increasing as I get more (and randomly) ideas to write fics bout >:3c
What's your total AO3 word count?
126,004! Whoooaaa... That's a lot :o Ngl, I barely visit the statistics of my ao3 account so I didn't expect that one.
How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?
Okay, so... it's 5? I think. On my main ao3 account it's 2 though! OMORI and Mahoyaku! Buuuut! I've written for Persona 5 (with Magic Kaito) but I'm... too shy to put it in my ao3 account so it's just in my tumblr. The other 2 is somewhere else... (I've written a oneshot for Genshin Impact in an old ao3 account that I don't wanna open up again cuz it's so embarrassing for me... I don't even wanna read that oneshot, I'd die of embarrassment. And the other one is Honkai Impact 3rd, I forgot where I put that one but I do know I wrote a oneshot with Bronya and Seele for it).
Top five fics by kudos:
It's all from OMORI!
Once again, from the beginning - I did not really expect this one to have as much kudos as it has now, like, tbf yea it's my most well planned one but it's still so crazy to see the kudos on it-- wai when did it pass that number-- I never really check the kudos but wtf happened here.
The Tune of the New Morning - How did this one get that many kudos too??? This is my very first OMORI fic and ngl, whenever I look at it I get the very strong urge to rewrite everything from the beginning cuz of how badly planned it is. If OAFB is well planned, this one is terribly planned. I literally make things up as I go.
Magician in the Mirror - Is in the top 3!!! Lookit!!! :D The work I'm proudest in cuz this is my 2nd fic and also the one I just went ham on! I wanted it out during anni and it was all a last minute thing but I'm so glad it turned out well despite that!
The Pawn and the Bishops - I didn't expect to see this one here but alas... it is... I quite like this one though! It's the first one I've written with a fairly heavy and gloomy atmosphere and I think I did pretty good on it!
And thus, the snake ate no more - I see you're here too... This one is actually like a mix of my planning between OAFB and TNM in which that it's in the middle of well planned and terribly planned. Think of it as the middle child of my longfics. With OAFB being the spoiled youngest and TNM the unplanned first child.
Do you respond to comments?
YES! As much as I can! I like receiving comments and I like responding to them as best as I can but I also get pretty nervous bout it... so I end up barely responding anyway oh boooooo.
What's the fic with the angstiest ending you've ever written?
I??? Don't think? I have written any with an angsty ending yet? I'm a sucker for hurt/comfort so most of the fics I've written so far always had a happy ending so! Maybe in the future 👀 Maybe.
Do you write crossovers?
Is the Kaito Kuroba from Magic Kaito in Persona 5 now as Akiren and Co.'s friend stuff I've written considered crossover? If so then yes! It's actually pretty fun to write one! :D
Have you ever gotten hate on a fic?
I don't think so? Pretty happy that I haven't yet, thank goodness!
Do you write smut?
Nope! I don't know if I would though, truth be told I don't have much knowledge with writing smut, I barely read any stories (novel wise) with it as a guideline cuz I... I can't visualize it well enough, my brain is not equipped for it (I try to read smut and spend the next few minutes figuring out the characters' positions. Yall smut writers out there impressive with it cuz honestly how).
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Nope and thank god for that!
Have you ever had a fic translated?
I HAVE!!! AM SO HAPPY BOUT IT!!! :D Someone translated Magician in the Mirror to Chinese and it's so cool!!! I think there's only a Chapter 1 of it but it's so cool and nice and sweet and awwwwww.
What’s your all-time favorite ship?
Alright, sit down. This is very important. I need you to listen closely, attentively, and carefully... I Love CaiOwe/OweCai. I LOVE CAIN/OWEN!!! OWEN/CAIN!!! CAIN&OWEN I LOOOOOVVVEEE ANYTHING WITH CAIN AND OWEN!!! It's my all-time favourite ship, nothing can compare to Cain and Owen from the hit japanese game, Mahoutsukai no Yakusoku aka Mahoyaku aka mhyk aka Promise of Wizard. They're my most favourite ship I'd go to war for em, I love em so so much, I adore em sooooooo much, I see any fanart of em and my day gets better immediately. They're my lifeblood, my ambrosia, my everything. I love caiowe/owecai with all my heart...
What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?
Looks at oafb, tnm, and attsanm... I'd like to believe that regardless of how much time had passed, I would be able to finish any of those three though. Hyperfixation gone or not, I wanna finish em!
What are your writing strengths?
I think it'd be monologue? Inner monologue? What do you call that thing where it's just the narrator focusing on the characters' thoughts and feelings and their overall view on the situation??? I think I'm pretty good at that, maybe. And somehow I'm good at accidentally setting things up, I don't know how but I just accidentally do things that connects stuff.
What are your writing weaknesses?
Dialogues... I'm so bad with dialogues most of the time I spend in writing is getting the dialogues right. I'm also really bad at descriptors, I'm bad at describing things so I just try to either describe something as best as I can with the help of searching through the internet or get around that part by just being poetic.
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fics?
I think it's pretty neat! :o I feel like I've seen fics like that before but can't really remember though I did think it added detail to the story of it!
What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?
Uhhh, I think it waaaaass Honkai Impact 3rd? I think it was the Bronya and Seele fic I've written somewhere that or it was the Genshin Impact fic instead. It was either of those two.
What’s your favorite fic you’ve written so far?
Magician in the Mirror!!! It's my favourite I've written so far and the one I'm proudest of! And a lil biased, but the latest favourite one that I've just recently written is Look back, Orpheus which is a fic for caiowe from mhyk! Once again, from the beginning is the 2nd favourite though :3
Thank you again for the tag! Dunno who to tag though but for anyone that sees this, feel free to do it! :D
#tag game#this was so fun!#have i convinced yall yet how much i love caiowe. i rlly adore that ship a lot its my fave one ever#also am not gonna say the title of the gi fic out of embarrassment... cuz like i made that when i was still unsure#how to write 3rd person after getting trapped writing in 1st person for years. that thing along with the hi3 fic is most likely#written really badly and like-- ohmygod im not gonna look at it. i can still vaguely remember what it was about and god bro--#embarrassing... why was my writing in the past like that its got like a needlessly mysterious air to it like gurl what are you doing#the only hint im giving for that gi fic is that it has venti and aether in it cuz it was around 1.1 days and i chose aether so like#also the reason why i yeeted away from that account and made a new one is that i wanted to start clean and as embarrassing#as the fics ive written there are (which is just the gi fic and one thats an oc fic for my old friend group that ive drifted away from)#i didnt wanna delete any of it. i think its a nice memento. i also didnt wanna orphan the account or any of the works too#so i just start with a new account! honestly glad and happy that gi fic doesnt have that many kudos. pheeeewww
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20 questions for fic writers
I was tagged by my other buttcheek @elialys. I'm tagging: @ladycallie @nico-demons @lizann5869 @tenroseforeverandever @thirdeyeblue No obligation to complete this of course, only if you want to! I'm terrible at tagging, so anyone can do this really 😅
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
Sixteen. Yes I am still a noob especially writing for a very old fandom.
2. What's your total A03 word count?
322,793 words
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Doctor Who (9)
Horizon Forbidden West (5)
Mass Effect (1)
The Last of Us (1)
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
The Space Between the Stars-- Aloy/Seyka, HFW
When the Chaos Calls Me Out--Thirteen/Rose --Doctor Who
Causal Nexus--Ten/Rose--Doctor Who
The Dream of Atlas--Tentoo/Rose-- Doctor Who
Quasar-- Femshep/Liara-- Mass Effect
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Almost always unless something happens in my life that takes me away from ao3 for awhile. I love connecting with readers, it's the best part of fandom and I have met some of my best friends this way.
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
There's two and it is up for debate.
The first is Quasar-- Mass Effect. It ends with Shepard taking that breath after the destroy ending
The other is Walking in the Airless Dark- TLOU, a 900 word oneshot about Bill and Frank's last moments, in Bill's POV, remembering their beautiful life together. I cried writing it. Whoops.😂
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
For Doctor Who, probably When the Chaos Calls Me Out. It was very angsty for most of it and the ending is tooth rotting fluff with Rose rejoining Thirteen in the TARDIS after a very satisfying cameo from someone...COUGH...while still able to connect with her family in Pete's World
For Horizon, since my enormous wip is far from being done, it would be Orpheus, a short fic with five relatively short chapters where Aloy stays for one more night, and she and Seyka spend it hunting down the dinosaur figurines so that they can play Dino Digits...although they lose interest in the dinosaurs progressively through the fic.😏
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Sometimes. I remind people I do this in my free time as a hobby so nothing is going to be perfect.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I do. I like to say the 'E' in my E rated stories stands for "Emotional Smut" 🤣 so my smut is very hot but also vanilla, heavily focused on feelings.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
Nope but I want to write a Horizon/Doctor Who one
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not really but I have seen a few instances of people using specific things I came up with, that apparently became their headcanon. I don't mind that.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Not that I know of
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No but I would like to maybe, if it was with someone whose style aligns with mine
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
It has been Doctor/Rose for years.........buuuuuuut it's been bumped by Aloy/Seyka, but only slightly. I love my girls, they're so gorgeous together.
15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
The Dream of Atlas. It was my first fanfic, so my style was a bit all over the place and I didn't really know what I was doing.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Probably a combination of imagery and feelings? I think?
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
DIALOGUE. It takes forever!!
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I've already done it!
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Doctor Who
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
My current WIP and obsession, "The Space Between the Stars" closely followed by "When the Chaos Calls Me Out." I am very proud of both of them and constantly surprise myself when reading it later like "Oh hey I wrote that! That's not bad..."
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20 questions for fic writers
I was tagged by @lilolilyr 🥰💕❤️ thank you so much!!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
85!
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
409,668, more than half of which I've posted this year---210,056 words, to be exact, which is absolutely insane!!
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Currently only Mirandy (Devil Wears Prada).
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Well, this is going to be embarrassing, lol:
bad things (487)
nightly encounter (469)
Too Soon, Not Soon Enough (434)
unexpected (410)
Stalling the Inevitable (377)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Absolutely! I respond to every single comment I receive. I love interacting with people, hearing their thoughts and ideas! Every time I get a comment, it reminds me of the fact that there are actual, real humans out there that read my writing??? And that's still so crazy to me, even after 6 years???? So I always feel the need to let them know how much I appreciate them!
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
That would be two:
Thank you, baby (for loving me like you do)
unrequited
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Ohhhhh, I am SUCH a sucker for happy endings. You'll find that---taking away the two outliers from the previous question, obviously---all my works have happy endings!!
8. Do you get hate on fic?
I can't remember ever receiving any. That said, people do sometimes comment things like "hmmm this is weird" or whatever but, like, I pretty much just ignore that.
9. Do you write smut?
Oh, I am very much into writing smut, yes! In fact, I've currently got The Kink Series going on which... is exactly what it sounds like, lol. Smut, smut, and then some more smut; though, in this case, I'm actively trying to dive into things I haven't explored before.
Also, I've just noticed that out of the 16 works I've written/posted for the DWP fandom, 13 have been explicit. Whoops?
10. Do you write crossovers?
I haven't so far, no!
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I had someone repost some of my works in a smut collection a few years back. They mentioned my username, but did not ask me beforehand---or even tag me properly. I ended up asking them to take it down, and they did. My finding it in the first place had been a complete fluke, though.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
No, though I've attempted to translate some of my own works. It didn't work. (I realized I suck at writing in German, lmao.)
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Nope! But I've just recently talked about a potential collab with someone whose writing I really enjoy! So that's exciting!
And just in general, I'm very open to trying out new things---i.e. collaborating on fics.
14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?
Well, I'm going to have to say Mirandy here. This ship really has me in its grip. I love the dynamics, and I thoroughly enjoy playing with their characters. There are so many things to explore!
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?
Okay, so, I do have this one idea. And I've written... a tiny little amount. Maybe around 3k. I realized, however, while I was writing, that it would most likely take 20k+ words to make it anywhere near enjoyable. It just wouldn't flow otherwise, I don't think; plus, I wouldn't be able to properly explain everything. Unfortunately, I'm just not really one to write multi chapter fics, and so I've come to the conclusion that it'll probably just sit in my docs forever and collect dust.
Sorry @ Assignment WIP.
16. What are your writing strengths?
As soon as I've got a good sentence to get me started, I can usually just keep going and get all my ideas out in one or two sittings. I'm also an exceptionally fast typer, which means I can write things down as quickly as soon as they pass through my head. Very good, considering my memory is absolutely crap.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I have no organizational skills. So if I realize a fic idea would have to be explored in multiple chapters, I usually retreat and abandon the idea.
That also means I just...do not plan fics. Ever. Not even my one shots. I'm 100% serious when I say I would not have the patience to plot out, say, a slow burn fic. They either get it on, or they don't. (And in my case, they pretty much always do. 😏)
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I did this all the time when writing Mariana/Ana fanfic. Madre Solo Hay Dos was, like, my first fandom earlier this year; effectively letting me reconnect with fic writing; and it was right around the time when I was obsessed with learning Spanish. So I constantly included Spanish text conversations, as we all as---occasionally---dialogue. 10/10, would recommend and do again.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Camren (Fifth Harmony). That's what got me into writing back in 2017, and it stuck with me for quite a while.
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
Hmmm... that's really hard. I love soulmate AUs, and considering my obsession with Mirandy at the moment, I think I'd have to go for Too Soon, Not Soon Enough.
Though I did also very much enjoy writing Pretty, Dirty Girl as well as the other, kinkier fics, including, for example, Four Play. The latter was challenging at first, but ultimately a great exercise.
Thanks again, friend, for tagging me!!! ❤️
I'm going to go ahead and tag @harrytoad, @sporkmetender, @guardianrock, @awomanontheverge. None of you have to feel obligated to do this, though. 🥰
oh, and if any other writers see this post---you're welcome to do this as well!!
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
I was tagged by @evelinessa! Thank you Eve!
1. How many works do you have on A03?
Technically 10, but 5 of them are part of the Ace Attorney Holiday Exchange and won't be on my profile for a bit over a week.
2. What's your total A03 word count?
126,004 - which is insane if taking into account that I only started posting my own work in July this year...
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Mainly Ace Attorney, but there is also one lonely Metroid translation.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Beyond Duty (nsfw)
Turnabout Labyrinth
A King's Heart (nsfw)
The many lives of Larry Butz (Kill-a-character-Bingo)
Cyanid (German translation of Cyanide by @sablegear0)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Since I don't have all that many comments yet, I reply to them all, because they always make my day. Also I know from a readers pov, that there's nothing greater than an author replying to a comment. So I try my best.
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
That has to be The many lives of Larry Butz. It is for the Kill-a-character-Bingo after all and is so far the only one with an unhappy ending. Even though the personification of Death makes it a bit humorous.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
That I cannot say yet, but if I don't forget, I'll add it in a few days once the creators for the exchange are revealed.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Thankfully not so far.
9. Do you write smut?
Yes. Most of the time it's porn with a lot of plot. Because that's what I also prefer to read. Just a regular (good) story, where the sex is also narrated and not fading to black.
10. Do you write crossovers?
I write a lot of AUs, no downright crossovers so far. You maybe could count The many lives of Larry Butz as a crossover, since the Death there is heavily inspired by the Discworld Death, but since it is the AA universe, it's not really the same Death, even if he talks in all caps as well.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nope, but I translated my favourite Metroid fic into German. Sadly I never finished, because I was bitten by the Ace Attorney bug and didn't have any braincells left for Metroid. But there are still quite a few chapters for part 2 sitting on my computer, so maybe, if we get a new metroid game, I'll be inspired to finish it.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yes, A King's Heart is a collaboration with @voidify333.
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
It's the wrong question really, but the ship that I'm writing most for right now is of course Narumitsu/Mistunaru.
15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Uh... so far I am hoping to finish all my WIPs. At least all wips that are already partly posted to AO3. There may be some sitting on my computer, that will never see the light of day though.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Hm... I'm good at every day fluff. Little everyday scenes where the characters enjoy life and each other. Funnily enough I am also good at getting my characters into awful situations, provided I know that they will resolve themselves and have a happy or at least hopeful ending after all the drama.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Writing a villain's pov. I tried. I gave up. I can write a villain, but only from the pov of other characters.
I also struggle with getting a coherent story together, if I don't have a good concept for the whole thing from the start.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
No problem, as long as it's German. :D Thankfully that's actually helpful in Ace Attorney.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
First fandom I actually wrote something down for is probably Metroid. The first work that I told stories for is probably Sir Walter Scotts Ivanhoe, when I was a little kid. I've told stories since I learnt to talk, I only very recently started to have the confidence to write them down and share them.
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
Since I cannot yet tell you about that one fluffy fic yet, I'll have to go with Beyond Duty.
Tagging: @voidify333, @sablegear0, @azalawa-scroggs
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Ladies Don't Write Music - 13th November 2023 - update
I've just had a look at the average writing speed NaNoWriMo has calculated for me in November (not the same as my typing speed!), relative to the amount of words I've written so far, and I'm shocked to see what that means for the amount of time I've spent working on the book in November.
I've actually timed every session so far this month, which is something I've never thought to do before. I just love how easy NaNoWriMo makes it to time your sessions. It's just over an hour per day (21,685 words at 26 per minute). I've spent just under 14 hours hours writing in November, and we aren't quite halfway through yet.
I can't tell you how pleased I am with that rate. It's also very reassuring to know that if I put my mind to it, I can do a lot with just 30 minutes of writing per day (that would get me 780 words, but with time for stretching and thinking, I'd be happy with 500).
I got 1,1717 words down before I went to sleep on Sunday night, finished Chapter 11, and started Chapter 12. I really hurried to get the words on the page, because my eyes were closing, but I'm so pleased to find it's mostly coherent. I'm not fussed about proofreading when I'm writing the first and second drafts; it just needs to be legible and sensible (but it's also allowed to be silly), so I know what I've written.
On Saturday I had two short train rides between my nearest town and the next one, a lovely bike ride, and a midday meetup with my friends after a physiotherapy appointment. I also got my bike repaired and bought a new helmet, because my previous one was too old to be safe. Did you know it's good practice to replace your cycling helmet every five years? I didn't until recently (I found out from the bike technician at the auto repair shop). I wrote 300 words on the train, and another 200 before bed, but was quite worn out after all that, so that's all I wrote that day.
Today is Monday, and I've written 1787 words. Tomorrow, I want to write to the end of Chapter 12 if I can. In the meantime, I'm rather sleepy, so here's a celebratory excerpt!
I had always found it difficult to commit a new piece to memory; the urge to add a section or change a note never really went away. If I didn’t keep an eye on myself, I could easily play the same piece a dozen different ways. Creating something new was just as fun as showing off something that already existed, and that was what made it so hard to write a piece of music and consider it finished.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Johann swaying softly in time with the music, as if he were dancing in his own head, rather than mine, for a change.
As I came to the end of the sarabande, I made the last note into a trill, and emphasised the rallentando, to finish the piece as smoothly as I could.
Johann and Louisa clapped.
“Brava!” Johann said, “What do you call that?”
“Well, it’s a sarabande, obviously,” I said, my voice trembling, “It doesn’t have a name yet. I only wrote it very recently. and I wrote it for someone.”
#writeblr#blog#nanowrimo#violins and violets#nanowrimo update#nanowrimo 2023#katharina schmidt#johann schneider#louisa schneider#excerpt#excerpts#my writing#historical fiction#violins and violets book 1
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Fanfiction Tag Game
I love doing these tag things when no one's tagged me
1) How many works do you have on AO3?
32
2) What’s your total AO3 word count?
98,940 as of 2/6/2023
3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
21 in total, give or take the site separating things like "Video Game Series" and "All Media Types."
Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica (12)
Fate/Grand Order (9)
Creepypasta - Fandom (5)
Persona 5 (4)
Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types (4)
Magia Record: Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story (3)
Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series) (3)
Jekyll & Hyde - Wildhorn/Wildhorn & Bricusse & Cuden/Bricusse (3)
Tokyo Mew Mew (2)
Digimon - All Media Types (2)
Original Work (2) *(Saki Sanobashi)
Death Note (Anime & Manga) (2)
Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime) (1)
Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (1)
Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types (1)
ドキドキ！プリキュア | DokiDoki! PreCure (1)
Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga) (1)
HuGっと！プリキュア | Hug tto! Precure (1)
Five Nights at Freddy's (1)
Video Blogging RPF (1) *(Twomanyraptors/Eldrisoul)
Mermaid Melody Pichi Pichi Pitch (1)
4) What are your top five fics by kudos?
Throne (28)
Hand Me Down (27)
The Rose Doesn't Fall Far from the Bush (18)
"Hyde" My Wings Tonight (11)
Magia Record: Transcend Game (10)
The first four of those are from the same series!
5) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I try to, but sometimes I don't have anything to say.
6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
The Witch of the New World is still a WIP, but I've got a pretty bittersweet ending planned for it.
7) Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest one you have written?
Most of the stuff I write is crossovers in one sense or the other. I'd say my "craziest" one actually is The Witch of the New World, or my The (Mis)Adventures of Heroic Spirit Madoka series.
8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?
Not technically. We don't talk about the Cis Jasper Spitefic.
9) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I've written three smut stories in my entire career, one is just a series of prompts, and the other two end before anything smutty actually happens.
10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?
A long time ago, someone (who claimed it was their brother that did it) stole one of my old Prideshipping fanfics off of DeviantArt, un-Rule 63'd Yami, and reposted it to Wattpad, and I was very upset.
11) Have you ever had a fic translated?
It would be an honor if someone did.
12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Someone on Wattpad tried to ask me to "help" them write a story involving Yugi and Yami Yugi with their OC, and when I turned them down, they decided to be a little crybaby about it. I then blocked and reported them.
I also tried to co-write on Deviantart before, mostly just correcting and English errors because it's not the author's first language, and they never changed anything like I asked them to.
13) What’s your all-time favorite ship?
I mean, it sounds like a crackship, but I do really like Madoka and Yusaku.
14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
There's SO many! The Witch of the New World, Mew Mew Power a la Mode, I made Magia Record: Transcend Game on a whim after I saw the MagiReco anime finale. I'd say the two that I'm least likely to ever pick up again are Digital Monster Yellow Version and Persona 5: The Abolishers of the Masquerade
15) What are your writing strengths?
I guess I'm pretty good at coming up with character interactions and making connections between two unrelated characters. That's really the only reason Magia Record: Transcend Game is a Yu-Gi-Oh! crossover, but I'm not at that chapter yet.
16) What are your writing weaknesses?
Transitions 😭
17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
How I did it in Mew Mew Power a la Mode was I wrote the line in English and put it in brackets, then when I copy-pasted the Google Doc into AO3, I used Papago to translate the bracketed line into Spanish. The same chapter also uses basic Japanese words written in romaji.
Oh! You meant my opinion! Uh...
18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?
Technically Yu-Gi-Oh! with the Jumpchain nextgen story Umbra Ludum Renju Magica, but I ended up deleting it.
19) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?
Man, that's a tough one! I'd say, of the ones I've written on AO3, it's a tug-of-war between The Witch of the New World and Mermaid Melody: Pichi Pichi Pitch Soul, but my absolute favorite is my Yu-Gi-Oh! Pharaoh's Revival series on Wattpad. It's the only reason I haven't completely left that rape-kink-infested grammatical war crime yet
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hi! thanks for the tag on that WIP game! i actually put all my wips into one big document, so i don't have any titles to share :( but i'm curious about yours! can you tell me about "Arena/Reigning Champion/Wild Horses"?
--@uncleskyrule
No worries, friend. 😌 Whatever method works for you as a writer, stick with it!!!
So this is my first longfic coming along. I think I'm anticipating between 12 and 15 chapters? I have 2.5 officially written but how much of that is *actually* postable is questionable. 😂
The premise is this: Link is a colosseum fighter who's earned the title Hylian Champion five years in a row. During the off season, the colosseum hires its fighters out as mercernaries. Being from Faron, his mercernary contract is usually purchased by Hyrule's Faronian garrison to teach them jungle warfare and Yiga combat.
Enter princess Zelda, who is rumored to be the most gifted in the line of Hylia's wisdom weilders and who attempts a secret research mission to the jungle of Faron. Naturally, it goes terribly awry and out champion's mercernary contract is rewritten to make up for her lack of body guards.
Sheikah are being mysteriously 'taken' and a Yiga threat is rising all the while.
WhAt wILL hApPeN?!! 😂
Anyway— I posted a bit from chapter 1 on an earlier ask. So here's a bit from chapter 2.
"Her lungs burn but fear is fueling her legs and there's plenty to be had. She runs and weaves and feels too many branches tearing by her face and outstretched hands, far too numb to note any pain as her ankles roll and crunch. A gully claims her in the dark and she tumbles down. Her legs haul her up and labor on, lungs screaming for air. The terrain is changing, trees spread out more. She's easier to see now, she knows.
A barely-there whisper of fabric behind her and she screams again, jerking to the left where a dancing orange glow beckons her. There's no time to debate whether it belongs to friend or foe before charging headlong towards the campfire. Men. A group wearing the brown standard tunics of field soldiers. They all leap to their feet and was that the sound of a bowstring?
She skids to a heaving halt in the middle of their camp, whipping around to look behind her when a weight slams into her shoulder carrying her backwards into the dirt. She trembles and kicks around, her hair tangling in the thick black shaft of an arrow protruding from her shoulder. She reaches for it, only dimly registering the sounds of killing and deranged laughter.
Nausea is climbing back up her throat and she's praying desperately she didn't just arrive as Hylia's angel of death for these men when a figure crouches over her. She flinches away but he gathers her hands together. Blue eyes gone black in the orange glow of the fire. Horror and concern turn the edges of his mouth down and widen the corners of his eyes. Link's words wash over her like a warm breeze. "I've got you, Your Highness."
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
1. How many works do you have on AO3? 45 - of which 35 are completed
2. What's your total A03 word count? 1 023 686
3. What fandoms do you write for? Once Upon a Time - Star Wars (sequel trilogy) - Avatar The Legend of Korra - Harry Potter - Moana
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
The Only Exception (Reylo) (unfinished)
Our Future Together (Hooked Wayfinder) (unfinished)
Dreamers (Reylo) (COMPLETE)
Love is Just a Game (Hooked Wayfinder) (COMPLETE)
Breathe (Reyux) (unfinished)
I realize it's really awkward to have 3 of those fics in my top 5 be unfinished. I'm really bad at finishing my longer fics. With the shorter fics (that have less chapters and also less kudos), I don't have as many issues finishing them.
I have the intent to finish a few of the unfinished fics, even if it's been years since my last update. Heart of the Ship (Rumbelle) is the first fic on that list that I'll be working on, and it will be a wopper. I'm already at 180 000 words right now. I think it will be 200-250K words by the time it's finished.
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I do! Usually just before I'm about to post a new chapter. I think comments are amazing and I want to thank people for leaving them. They always make my day. I don't get paid in money for writing fanfictions, but I accept comments as currency for thanking me, lol.
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Probably "Death and the Dark One" - a Rumbelle fanfiction where Belle is the Grim Reaper. It's about death, a bit gothic. Very short.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Most if not all of my fics have happy endings, though some are a bit bittersweet! Personally I really like the ending to the Bus Lovers (Rumbelle) because it's really cheesy happy - with a Hallmark wedding ending. It's a perfect read for a dreary autumn or winter day.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
No - I've been really fortunate there! Especially since I have written a few controversial ships (let's be real - enemies to lovers is one of my fav tropes and I love problematic bastards with daddy issues). Or if I did get hate, I'm happy to report I've forgotten all of it!
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I do! AWKWARD smut. Lol. I suspect some neurodivergence in myself and that translates into... maybe some weird smut. I'm also ace myself so I don't fully get infatuated like other people do, and the smut between my characters often seems driven by intellectual attraction. (Bit like sapiosexuality) I do write smut to drive the characters forward in their relationship with one another. I try not to write smut for smut's sake and when I do it's not great and I personally don't like it. (though that doesn't always mean my readers don't like it either!)
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I've done a ton of crossovers while roleplaying - but as far as fics go on AO3, I think I only have a few - Legends, where Kylo Ren is a firebender and Rey a waterbender (aka an Avatar crossover). I've also written a Reyux fic set in Hogwarts, (Finished), and started a Rumbelle fic set in Hogwarts that remains unfinished.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Yes, long ago, before AO3 - and it was a Dutch Harry Potter fanfic of mine that popped up on some other Dutch forums. Since I knew the admins there it was quickly taken down so it wasn't a lot of drama. The internet felt a lot smaller then.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
I have attempted to translate a Dramione fanfiction from Dutch to English myself - I never finished the translation because the first chapter just didn't really have any readers. The Dutch version is still up on AO3, completed.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Nope. I have done RP's and worked together with other people for that. One of the people I wrote with the most (Alice) is still one of my best friends to this day. We finished a ton of Rumbelle roleplays and they hold a fond memory in my heart. Some of them were even read by other people! (Which I think is rare.)
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
Very tough to answer. I've fallen in and out of love with many ships, and tend to fall back in love with them after enough time passes. I think Jasmine/Jafar (OUAT) is one of my favourites though, at least at this moment. Don't get me wrong, I love Rumbelle and Reylo but don't like the canon execution of either. And that makes it a bit sour. Jasmine/Jafar was never canon and so it's a beautiful ship that thrives in my brain and heart exactly the way I want it to.
15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Currently I'm working on Heart of the Ship and I' think'm quite sure I *will* finish it. And if I can finish that one, then I think I can finish many of the others too. (Though, give it time.)
At this moment I think "Breathe" is the hardest one for me to finish. It's a Reyux AU where Hux and Rey fall in love in a setting that is very close to how canon could have turned out if Kylo had been killed during TLJ. However, because of how close I would keep it to the canon of Star Wars, I've made it really difficult on myself. It's a fic that requires a lot of research and was always rather hard to make work. I did really enjoy it though. I also have Star Wars PTSD from watching the Rise of Skywalker and don't feel confident in returning to that fandom. It's been 4 years since TROS was released and I'm still not ready.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I find this difficult to answer. I think dialogue comes easily, and I can sprinkle in humor when I need to. I can also write pretty fast when I want to, and I've made it through several Nanowrimos with little difficulty. I can also write really nice plot twists that don't come completely out of the blue - keeping readers on their toes. Some have gotten really good at predicting where I go thanks to reading a ton of my fics!
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I could write a little "stronger" - I bet I make a lot of errors in writing that might not be grammatical errors but just errors in using "weak" verbs or adjectives to put my descriptions on the page. I also don't do flowery prose, though in my opinion that's a strength and not a weakness. English is not my mother language (though I've never let that stop me!)
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
Ehm... I wouldn't quickly do it unless I spoke the language myself. Since I speak Dutch and French quite well, I would not feel awkward including that, or a few words of German and Spanish. But other languages? No, I think I'd steer clear of writing full sentences in those.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
We're talking about 1994 here or so - it was Lois and Clark the new Adventures of Superman and I was 11, and had a massive crush on Superman. XD After that I wrote X-Men the Animated Series, Beauty and the Beast and when I turned 18 I switched to Harry Potter and wrote nearly exclusively for HP for 10 years. It was in the HP fandom that I learned to finish my fics. I'd never done that before that time.
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
Oof. Really tough question. Of my current WIPs, probably Heart of the Ship (Rumbelle).
Of my finished fanfictions, probably The Fifth Gem (Rumbelle) - which is a story of Belle being a spy at Rumplestiltskin's castle during wartime - and I loved writing how she fell in love with him despite of it. It also is the first fic I wrote that featured Jasmine/Jafar and made me fall in love with them as a pairing.
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did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen? (a.i.)
right where you left me: prologue
pairing: ashton irwin x olivia jones (oc)
warnings: uhh a kinda grieving theme i guess? but no deaths. it has a sad tone overall, but nothing major (in this chapter hehe). foul language because i can't help myself. the tiniest mention of alcohol, but as a memory. think i should probably warn you that this contains a very sad ash. also not much dialogues. this is mainly for explanation and introduction, but very important for the story. if you find anything else that might be triggering, please let me know so i can add it here !!
author's note: oof okay. so. this is the prologue of a series very very dear to my heart that i've been working on for what it feels like my whole life but really it's been just a few months. but i'm in love with the story (which rarely happens with my own writing) so i hope you can enjoy it too !! this is also my very first time posting a fic since 2013 so pls keep that in mind <3 no i am not shaking as type this ofc not also: although i have the full story ready in my head, this is the only chapter that's written. i wanted to wait until i had at least a few ready before posting this but i'm too anxious for that lmao just saying this bc it will take a good while until i have any more chapters, so <3 (p.s.: i went over this thing a million times since may so if you find any errors pls look away, i'm not fixing this thing anymore. thanks <3)
another note: anna from the future here to say that i completely forgot about the playlist i made for the story lmao here it is in case you're interested k thanks bye <3
credits: title is from taylor swift's song right where you left me. model in the picture: paola locatelli. banner by me.
i also wanted to take a minute to thank some really nice friends that i've made here over these past few months & that i'm extremely grateful for @wastelandcth @suchalonelysunflower @littledrummerangie i cannot thank you babes enough for inspiring me the way that you do & for letting me yell about this to you && for encouraging me so much 🥺 i'll never be able to explain just how much this means to me, so i'll have to settle for saying thank you at any change that i can get <3 i love you all 💜 also gem my baby, thank you for the inspo with the banner 💚
@bluesdelis look babe i did it 😌 you know how grateful i am for you & for you letting me have a breakdown every week about my writing for the past 8 years so let's not dive into that or else i will write something bigger than this prologue jsjsjdjd love you 🖤
i hope you all have a good reading and a nice day ♡
let me know what are your thoughts about the fic ! ♡
word count: 4.1k
☆☆☆
Cold. That was the first thing that Olivia’s brain processed.
Still with her eyes closed, she buried herself more into the duvet, while her arm blindly reached for the furnace in human form that she calls boyfriend. However, as soon as her arm was only met with cold sheets, her eyes shot open.
Blinking the sleep away, she sat up on the bed, searching for the infamous red clock resting on Ashton’s bedside table that was supposed to look like a vintage alarm clock. Olivia had ordered it online at an auction website a couple of years back, as a gift for his 23rd birthday, since it was something he had mentioned multiple times prior that he was looking for, but still hadn't found. But when it finally came in (two weeks after the due date), it looked nothing like the picture she saw on the website. Feeling beyond frustrated, she wanted to send it back immediately and ask for a refund and maybe leave a not so polite review on the seller's page. But Ashton stopped her right away, laughing like the situation was absolutely hilarious to him, while saying, 'I like it, it’s quirky'. So, the clock stayed and found a home right next to him in their room.
Some days, however, she would wake up at some ungodly hour because of the blaring noise of the only ringtone the clock had. But whatever annoyance she could feel towards the object, it always vanished as soon as she felt Ashton's lips gently touching her face in a good morning kiss before he would get up to start his day, leaving her to catch some more hours of well deserved sleep.
As the furthest from a morning person as a touring musician could possibly be, Olivia had always feared that living under the same roof as Ashton would turn her into an early bird like him, but she's thankful that it never happened (not that he needs to know about that).
When she sees the red clock, she smiles at the sudden but welcome memories of them flooding her foggy brain, but frowns slightly when she realizes it reads 12:13 pm. Ashton rarely lets her sleep past 10 am.
Gathering all her strength and will, she rises up from the bed, smoothly picking up a grey wool sweatshirt from the chair (way too baggy on her slim body, but it smells like him), pulling it over her head and relishing on the soft material warming up her body. Making her way to the door and calmly going down the stairs, she can’t help but stop for a minute to admire the picture frames on their walls, one in particular catches her attention – probably one of the most prized pictures and memories they had. It felt older than it actually is, but it was around 4 years ago, she's sure – a little while after the two of them met. The picture was of their group of friends that still remains the same: Ashton and his best friend, Luke; Olivia, her best friend, Calum and their old hometown friend, turned into Calum’s new friend at college, turned into everyone’s friend, Michael; and her then newly band members, Suki, Eli and Ravi. Together, their group was the life of the party through all their college years, and it showed by the big smiles and drinks in hands they all had in the picture. It was a very special night, the first time Olivia’s little band played for the public – for a small audience sure, but it was a wonderful night nonetheless. What a long road it had been since that night.
Her nostalgic thoughts were interrupted by a shiver that went through her whole body, and it made her realize how oddly cold the whole house was, not only their bedroom. Which, granted, it was November in New York and the weather was just getting colder, but that’s exactly why Ashton always made sure to keep the house warm enough. As much as she loved the chilly season, the warm weather always reminded him of his hometown, and who was she to deny him that?
The smell of fresh made coffee could be sensed even before she reached the kitchen. Arriving there, the curly haired woman still found no signs of her boyfriend, so she went straight after the coffee maker pot sitting on the far left corner of the cream marble counter. Smiling softly at the tons of memories of Ashton's sleepy figure making their favorite beverage, she reached for a coffee mug on the cupboard on top of the counter and poured the remainder of the hot liquid on it (it's her favorite mug, if she must choose – it was a gift from a fan, and it had printed on it a collage of the pictures of her and Ashton that were posted on social media through their first year of relationship).
Moving to the glass doors that lead to the mini garden they cultivate, she didn't have to open them to spot the 6-feet-tall man sitting on a bench outside, looking oddly small in his oversized clothes, coffee mug tightly held between strong hands. Something about his figure made Olivia frown, however: he was staring with an unwavering look at her small but eye-catching pot of yellow daffodils that were almost as much of a pet to them as Stitch at this point. Sensing that there’s something definitely off about his semblance, she made a mental note to talk to him and find out what’s wrong later. So she goes back to the kitchen, knowing that he might need this quiet and private moment for himself.
She lost count of the minutes that went by (couldn't have been more than five) before she hears the garden's door opening and closing, and then his bare feet are dragging his brawny body to her. Except, he goes over to the sink, walking right through her, not showing any sign that he even saw her hunched figure over the counter table in the middle of the room.
Alright, someone's in a mood.
Olivia tries to swallow the annoyance already bubbling inside her – he knows how much she hates to be ignored, no matter how mad he might be – by trying to think of what she can say that won't piss him off. This is always a hard feat to accomplish when Ashton gets in these moods, but there’s a reason for them to work so well together.
“I missed my favorite body heater when I woke up,” she says in her best sweet voice, knowing how quickly his resolve crumbles when he hears that voice.
Still, no reaction.
That settles a worry at the pit of her stomach, because Ashton is never like this. Even when he's not in the mood to talk, he always gives some kind of reaction to her words; it doesn't matter how small, just enough to make her feel acknowledged.
When he's finished washing his mug and the few scattered dishes across the sink – she noticed that he already had lunch, if the lone plate in the drying rack is anything to go by –, he dries his hand in a towel, turns around and throws it on top of the same counter Olivia was leaning up against. Once again, he walks away not even sparing her a look.
Indignant, she leaves the now empty coffee mug on top of the table and follows him as he walks up the stairs, any determination to not aggravate his mood now well gone.
“Hey! In case you didn't notice, I'm right here. Whatever got you in this sour mood, I'm certainly not to blame, so can you stop being a child now and talk to me?!”
Ashton just keeps walking – more like sluggishly dragging his body – until he reaches their bedroom and suddenly stops just merely two feet inside the room, looking around with vacant eyes; like he was expecting to see something that wasn't there.
“Okay, that's really mature of you. Are you planning on ignoring me all day then?” Olivia questions exasperated, staring angrily at the back of his neck, where the condor tattoo lives – her favorite of his, but that sight doesn't bring her any peace today like it usually does.
Her glare only breaks when she hears the familiar sound of dog tags swaying on her right side. Shifting her gaze to the direction of the sound, Olivia notices Stitch, their small, black & white French bulldog – who she thought was outside in the garden – slowly trudging his way from around the bed until he stops at Ashton's feet, looking up at one of his humans with sad eyes. That realization only makes the worry in her stomach grow uncomfortably.
“Hi buddy,” Ashton's voice cracks a bit from the lack of use, but he smiles softly at the sweet dog, and crouches down to pet him.
Olivia can't help but gasp as she notices three things all at once that leave her overwhelmed: first, how she didn't even notice Stitch was in the room when she woke up – which never ever happens, in fact, most days he wakes her up whenever he deems her bedtime as finished and can't ever contain his excitement when she finally gets up; second, how the windows blinds are closed, which, again, rarely occurs under their roof, not if Ashton can help it. And third, how sad and melancholic the whole scene in front of her is – how sad and melancholic Ashton is. Pointless to say by now – that's also a very rare occasion.
A chill creeps up Olivia's spine, putting her body into high alert and also serving as a reminder of how everything looks out of place today. Trying to keep her head from spiraling down way too soon, she wraps her arms around herself and crouches down beside her two favorite boys, trying once more.
“Ash? Can you hear me?” even with her throat closing, she softly asks, purposefully putting her face in Ashton's point of view. Her only answer is the low whispers he's letting out to Stitch, while cradling the tiny dog in his arms, spreading gentle kisses on his head.
“I know, bud, I know. I miss her too,” is the only whisper she could understand and immediately wishes she hadn't. The weak wail that comes from Stitch's throat seems to fit perfectly with how the three of them feel.
Ashton then looks up and for a couple of seconds, and Olivia can swear he’s staring right into her eyes. But when he shows no reaction, she knows he’s just staring ahead and not at her, with that look that says there’s too much going on inside his head. She feels the urge to embrace him and get him to talk about whatever is on his mind, so they can share that weight like they always do, but when Ashton gets up from the ground and settles on the bed with Stitch, Olivia can physically feel the crack in her heart caused by the feeling she’s left with.
While Ashton is pulling the duvet over him and the dog, with clearly no intentions of getting up anytime soon, Olivia stands up on her feet with a new-found determination – she needs to figure out what the hell is going on.
This nightmare had to be just that, right? Nothing but a very vivid dream – she's had those before. Scary sure, but they always go away, and soon enough she's back into Ashton's arms, with Stitch jumping on the bed ready to lick their faces off. She just needs to wake herself up from whatever fucked up dream this is – right?
She's running down the stairs this time, frantically in search of something, of what exactly, she doesn’t know – but she knows she needs an answer. The more she looks for something, the more desperate she gets, not knowing what to look for. Then suddenly, something catches her eyes.
The white and blue calendar that's held up by magnets on the side of the fridge. She knows their calendar is red and yellow. They got it from their favorite flower market. Slowly, as if scared of what it might be there – “It's just a calendar, for fucks sake” – she approaches the damn thing. Upon inspection, she deems it as a normal calendar – she really doesn't know what she was expecting – until.
She knows what's wrong with it now.
It's November. She knows it, because the Asian and last leg of her first world tour is about to begin November 21st, eleven days from today. Right after Mike's birthday, she knows this.
Then why does the calendar say today is January 14th?
☆ ☆ ☆
Ashton woke up with a jolt. He quickly sat up, frightening the little Frenchie that was asleep right next to him on the bed. Trying to make sense of his surroundings, he roughly rubbed his face to get some sleep off of it and soon reached for the dog that was staring at him with sleepy but sad eyes. Ashton is sure Stitch understands far more than a dog is supposed to understand about their current situation.
The room is covered in shadows, almost pitch black, but he can see the sunlight even through the thick dark grey blinds covering up the windows. Ashton knows he won't be able to sleep again at that moment, so he gets up from the bed – much slower than he used to. His heartbeat is still out of control because of the nightmare that woke him up, but he can't bother to pay attention to it when Stitch is softly wailing beside him. Ashton lets out a ghost of a smile when the dog rests his head on his right upper thigh, looking up at him with an expression Ashton knows all too well.
“C'mon you little ravenous creature, let's feed you,” the bulldog excitedly jumps to the ground, already running his way down the stairs, not even waiting for Ashton to get up.
That gets a real smile out of him, but it vanishes as soon as he glances at the alarm clock on his bedside table. It reads 5:13 am, nothing out of the ordinary for him. But that small and inoffensive clock, with its red paint peeling off, holds a lot of memories for him. Memories that two months ago would bring joy to his heart, but now he almost wants to throw the object across the room.
It was a stupid thing, really. He had been wanting a vintage alarm clock and Olivia got one for his birthday. But the product they received was definitely not the one she bought, and if he's being honest, he didn't like it as much as he made out to. But seeing her so excited in the weeks before it arrived, and how disappointed she was when it did, he couldn't help but try his best to make her smile that luminous smile again. It's part of his nature by now.
That's also the reason why he lets her think that he doesn't notice when she wakes up at some ungodly hour (her words, not his) along with him, because of the annoying and only sound the alarm clock is able to produce. He always leaves soft kisses in every inch of bare skin he can find on her sleeping figure, so she goes back to the dream land and doesn't wake up before 10 am. No one wants to deal with that kind of bad humor, not even him.
As much as he likes being a morning person and absolutely enjoys her company in the mornings, he knows she'll take any and every extra hour of sleep she can get before starting the day. And that's why he loves that she's so stubborn that his early bird tendencies never got to her – he knows she feared that this would happen when they moved in together, but he met her like this, fell for her like this. He wouldn't change a single thing about her.
Ashton drags himself out of the bed, wincing slightly at how cold the wooden floors are under his bare feet. He doesn't bother putting some socks on, or a sweater – the cold weather in the house is uncharacteristically comforting to him. Nothing feels warm without her anyway.
While descending the stairs, he mentally curses himself for not being strong enough to look past the picture frames on the wall. One in particular catches his eyes – a picture from the night of Olivia's first concert with her band. The memories of that night are still painfully vivid in his mind: the laughter among their group that eventually infected everyone at the pub, Suki and Luke's first kiss and the silly smile that didn't leave his best friend's face all night, the standing ovation Olivia got after her three-songs set, and her captivating and breathtaking smile that made him realize right then and there, while watching her sway to the music, that he was definitely falling in love with her and there was nothing he could do to stop it – not that he wanted to.
So many memories held up on that wall, in the relatively short time since they met, that he can't help but wonder if that's all they'll get in this lifetime.
Ashton is abruptly taken out of his thoughts by Stitch's barks coming from the bottom of the stairs. He quickly jogs down the few steps left and goes straight after the dog's food in the kitchen's cabinet. After Stitch starts to happily devour his breakfast, Ashton goes to make his coffee, doing enough for two people like he always does, since Calum drops by most days for a chat or to drop Duke before going to work. Although all three of them know he just can't bother to make food for himself in the morning, while Ashton is the group's elected chef. Ashton always says he just needs a boyfriend – Olivia says Calum already has one who makes him breakfast every day.
He grabs an apple from the fridge and makes his way outside to their garden. Even though a lot of their memories took place there, the garden is the only space in the house where he doesn't feel like suffocating all the time. At least here, he can breathe some fresh air and look at the sky when he's feeling overwhelmed – which is basically all he's been doing for about a month now.
Yet, a lot of the garden has Olivia's name written all over.
He remembers vividly the day she came home after spending two weeks in LA doing some pocket shows, with a pack of daffodil seeds and the largest smile. She excitedly told him that a friend gifted it to her when she mentioned the little garden they were planning to build together at their new house. The friend told Olivia that daffodils symbolize rebirth and new beginnings, so as the good lover of symbolism that she is, Olivia loved the idea of having those flowers to symbolize their new beginning.
Ashton, on the other hand, wasn't a fan of the flowers at first – he just didn't see the appeal to them. But nonetheless, he indulged her, letting Olivia plant the seeds near the bench they used to sit during the quiet and unrushed afternoons, so they could admire the sunset, and she could happily look at the daffodils.
Pointless to say – the damn flowers grew on him.
Now, however, looking at them without Olivia and her contagious joy next to him, they were back to be as dull as they were before, if not more so.
Still lost inside his head without any sense of how much time went by since he sat down, Ashton doesn't hear the front door closing, and doesn't notice that he's no longer the only person inside the house until someone sits next to him on the bench. Yet, he doesn't show any sign of acknowledgement to them.
A few minutes go by before either of them speaks up.
“Luke said you didn't go to see her yesterday,” Calum starts softly, not wanting to disturb the calmness of the morning.
Ashton takes a few seconds to respond, “No point in doing that.” The black haired man licks his lips while thinking carefully about his next words.
“You know staying inside this house all day by yourself won't help either,” Calum turns his head to his left and takes a good look at Ashton's uncharacteristically hunched over figure, and immediately thinks that anyone can tell this man is not himself anymore. His second thought is that Olivia would hate seeing him like this.
“And what exactly do you expect me to do? Move on with my life like nothing happened? Like I'm not slowly and painfully losing the love of my life? Just because it’s easy for you doesn't mean it's easy for me.”
Calum closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He knows Ashton doesn't mean it, it's the anger and frustration talking. He knows it. Doesn't make it sting any less.
“I'm not telling you to move on with your life, because that's far from what I'm doing, and I certainly don't expect you to do it. I'm just saying you need to occupy your mind or else–”
“I'll go insane? Think it's a bit too late for that,” Ashton interrupts with a bitter tone that doesn't belong to his usual chirpy voice.
“You know it's not,” Calum sighs and drinks the rest of his coffee, moving his body slightly, so he's facing the blonde man, “I got a job interview for you at that school you talked about so much last summer, the principal said you can go any day this week. I went ahead and sent her your resume as well as explained everything that she needs to know about Olivia, so you don't have to. You just gotta put on some decent clothes and show up.” he sees Ashton's face softening a little and takes it as a victory. A few beats go by and then, “Maybe take a shower too. That's gonna make you feel better.” Calum leans in closer to his friend's personal space and takes a sniff, causing Ashton to deflect from him slightly, but not to push him away – another small win.
“Definitely take a shower, you stink. When was the last time your hair saw shampoo?”
“Fuck off,” is Ashton's only reply to the younger man's inquest. But Calum can see a smile creeping up on the blonde's face, which brings out a smile of his own.
“I'll send you all the details later today,” he checks the hour on the watch on his wrist and gets up, “Just please, Ash, go. I can't lose you too.”
Calum gently lays a hand on Ashton's shoulder and squeezes a little. The man doesn't look up, but gives a curt nod to his friend, who's satisfied enough. Calum stops on the threshold of the garden glass doors to give some kisses to Stitch – who came to make Ashton company as soon as he finished his food –, and then he puts the coffee mug on the dishwater. And soon enough, he's on his way out of the door. But not before snatching a tangerine from the fridge.
Ashton is left by himself once again. As he hears the sound of the front door closing, he thinks that this might be his life from now on. Just him and Stitch, trying their hardest to make it through another miserable day without the love of their lives. While everyone else comes by just to make sure he's still breathing. Breathing, maybe, but alive?
Swallowing the tears, he looks up at the sky. It's a deep, beautiful mix of orange, pink and blue, but he knows that it won't last long and soon the rain will be pouring down. He thinks about how much Olivia loves the rain.
God, he needs to pull himself together. She would hate to see him like this. Maybe he should take Calum's offer after all, he really needs to occupy his mind.
Making a mental note to thank Calum later, and also to apologize for how rude he was to him this morning, Ashton slowly gets up from the bench to put his mug on the sink and makes his way to the living room, with the small dog loyally following his every step. He puts on some cartoon that for once doesn't remind him of her (she always lovingly made fun of him for still watching those) and cuddles with Stitch on the couch. He can take a shower later.
Not half an hour goes by, he falls asleep and has a good dream for a change. He dreams of the days he spent with Olivia in the Philippines last February, right before her first world tour started. Some of the most magical days of their lives – surrounded by delicious food, a whole new culture to learn about and the warmth of the sun. Infinite counted days full of love and passion, where they were the only people in the world.
Even his subconscious knows to hold on to that brief moment of happiness, because he might never live that again.
#anna writes#perhaps she does write after all#alright i'm gonna go hide somewhere now bye#ashton irwin fanfiction#ashton irwin fic#ashton 5sos#ashton irwin x oc#5sos fanfic#5sos fic#ashton irwin imagine#5 seconds of summer#5sos imagine#anna writes: rwylm
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