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#i'll just go bury myself now
thisismyobsessionnow · 2 months
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All things considered I guess it's a good thing he doesn't have that hair anymore. Because if he did I would never shut up or be normal, ever.
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naamahdarling · 2 months
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#my psych who prescribes my psych meds is a resident and is moving on in a couple of months#i don't even remember the names of them all at this point#this happens over and over and I cannot find a clinic that will put me with someone who intends to stay#thst will also prescribe my adhd meds#and my anxiety meds#and the real kicker is that twice now they have LIED about it and said they would#only to reveal after all the hoop-jumping that oops sorry they didn't really mean it#so it's a risk i have to take any time i leave#and rhen there's the issue of new people almost always wanting to DO something#but instead of talking to me about it they just decide that my meds need overhauling and pressure me to go off shit that works#but that they morally object to i guess#and my psych for some stupid reason has decided she wants bloodwork for my cholesterol and blood sugar stuff and im just like#what hell does THIS presage because if she harasses me about the results or tries to put me on drugs for that#I'll give her a nasty scrap about it#im not interested in those meds at all#and im certainly not messing with my diet since food is the only pleasure i get most days and even that is marginal at best#and removing that would just make me worse#but medpros for the most part really don't give a fuck about that#and so now im afraid - because i do not and cannot trust them - that if i disapprove of the meds they will retaliate somehow#which good luck proving that when management and oversight often don't even care if they course of treatment will HARM you#if it relates to being fat or having bad numbers#they just gotta pathologize!#so yeah im sick of everything and just kind of want to bury myself in a bog forever#i shouldn't have to deal with this
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ecoamerica · 2 months
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youtube
Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared
The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!
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hishoukoku · 3 months
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mattodore · 8 months
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scrapped pose from theo's birthday edit
little koala 🐨
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stereax · 2 months
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woohoo spiraling out of control right now (what else is new really I've been fucked up and spiraling for weeks now) and trying to figure out reasons not to delete my tumblr and discord and myself along the way
but you know. talking about myself on my blog automatically means I'm attention seeking and fishing for pity right? should just shut up and stick to the news eh, it's all I'm good for :D
anyway if you need me I'll be in the corner reliving the past, coming to terms with reality, and trying to convince myself I'm not the problem despite every indication to the contrary ✌︎︎
#sterechats :)#09:58 pm - this is a bad idea but scheduling it anyway#what's the worst that can happen really? everyone leaves again? nobody talks to me again?#probably gonna delete this in the morning so. meh. not like it matters not like I matter :D#10:29 pm - wow it feels like my head is on fire#like my brain is actually burning and I can't do a damn thing about it#I should be happy right now! the devils are winning! my favorite guys are scoring!#but no! I'm barely keeping it together around my family and praying I don't wake up tomorrow <3#11:00 pm - I need to get out of here#I need to get out of here out of here out of here I can't stay here any more this is killing me#everyone hates me and I need to chew my arms open maybe then everything will make sense#why am I even writing these tags what does it matter#I was so much more in control of myself when I was sh-ing#maybe I should get back to that maybe it'll help I don't know anymore#I just want my friends back but they hate me hahahaha#11:24 pm - wonder how many people are gonna block me after this one#how many people will finally be fed up and leave for good#everyone leaves and I should be used to this by now#here's a truck stop instead of saint peter's (yeah yeah yeah yeah)#11:41 pm - it's friday afternoon/there goes antigone to be buried alive#in the next world I want to be something useful/like a staple gun/or in love#I would fall off a cliff for you/a thousand times and call it a good day#maybe I'm just incapable of being human! maybe that's it!#maybe I'm not even human at all... but something worse instead...#1:22 am - moving the posting of this back from 3 to 6 am#not that that matters and not that I matter but I don't think I'll sleep#and I don't want this to post when I'm awake#I know I'm just going to get unfollowed and blocked and left behind as always#because happiness and good things and friendships just aren't things I get to have really#I just wish people would stop lying and telling me they're different and they'll stay when they're not different and won't stay
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lesamis · 1 year
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🍋
sometimes i get a little sad about the way being at the phd home for a long time makes me want to like. take off the academiasona and just breathe for a bit. bc i love my friends here but our lives are v fundamentally different and this becomes glaringly obvious when one of them mentions their summer home or says they're taking their mum to the folkwang museum for her bday or when they randomly have cremant in the house and i instantly feel like im wearing some kind of Bildungsbürger skinsuit they tailored for me and it doesn't fit right. but then. these are the same people you can send a silly little poem to that you wrote about a rotten lemon and they'll reply straightaway saying they love it and it reminds them of this one contemporary sculptor who makes giant bedazzled rotten lemons. and for a second this whole thing makes sense
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ecoamerica · 2 months
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youtube
Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc
The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!
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WHAT GAME???
HUH??
I say it's best yall don't know.
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Thankfully I'm not a fan of that game 👍
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xcziel · 1 year
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#this year is just the weirdest christmas vibe i've ever had goning on#i have all the stuff for a hallmark-y christmas: it's cold for once on christmas eve! i have a kitchen and a bare tree#but family is overworked and stressed and and i'm sick and worn out from retail so no visiting or sharing baking#so no reason to bake or decorate - even though i fully have the ability! the things are sitting out i am looking at them#but i just want to bury in the bed and read sad or schmoopy fanfic instead#i just can't get in the mood and it's so disappointing bc i remember loving having like#christmas music on and singing along and baking and i never could do much in my apartment bc of it being so small etc#and now i have a full big kitchen counter and could have the tree i always wanted and play christmas cartoons loudly#and it wouldn't bother anyone and there's lights up in the neighborhood i could go see but#i'm just so exhausted and generally discouraged and it's the MOST first world of situations but i may never get#another chance to have a christmas like this and who knows where/how i'll be next year ...#maybe it's really just the not being able to bake - like i don't even really feel like it but i still get sudden impulses#and it's like nope no family to cart tins of cookies to - can't take them or cake to work bc don't want to risk people getting sick#tempted to just force myself into christmas spirit but then the apathy just rolls back over me#i'm so worried about my bil and sister who are stressed bc if medication shortages#and all y'all who are suffering power outages and winter weather onslaught and stressful weekend plan changes#and seasonal overwork and all that entails i'm worried for you also and wishing for everything to be better and go well for you#it just feels like everyone's having an anxious exhsusting holiday season this year and i would like so much better for us#than just 'making it through'#ugh now i'm making myself sappy and teary again#whatever - anybody bothering to read this just know i wish you warmth happiness and joy however they may come to you#hug your loved ones if you can love on your pets eat something for a treat and look at some pretty lights this evening#i maybe am gonna light some candles and put on music and see if my sis wants to call or facetime later#but first my rx are finally filled so i have to go fetch them#happy holidays whoever reads this - mutuals i love you and wish you the best may your evening be merry and bright#or at least warm!
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dragqueenpentheus · 2 years
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do i actually want to date someone or am i just crushed by loneliness and want someone to prove it isn't too much work to love me???? more @ eleven
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noxtivagus · 1 year
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ahh i'm so tired sorry i haven't been really active lately but i promise i'll fix all these stuff up n be well for the new year soon
#🌙.vents#i'll just ramble for a but ig. i can't.. let myself go to anyone at all for stuff like this but it hurts more when i keep it all to myself#oh wait good morning i guess i got around 9 hours of sleep huh#lovely going to sleep n waking up w tears in my eyes yeah absolutely Great#the future i want is. unrealistic i suppose#god i hate being pessimistic i prefer holding unto hope n i truly know better than all these burdens but#it hurts. all this pressure n then it just feels so lonely. i don't know if i belong in this world#every now n then when i just think of.. stuff my heart feels like it's being sharply stabbed with cold n then suffocated a bit#n then i'm crying even more as the whole emotion overwhelms me everywhere#but i suppose it's better this way. i'll hide this part of myself from the rest of the world n heal on my own#perhaps it's stupid of me to think i could do that on my own but i'm just so tired i might as well do it on my own now#it feels like everything is falling apart. wishes dreams hopes. every word forgotten#n.. i know it's not entirely this way but fuck it feels like it's all my fault for messing everything up#my mind is in a dilemma n it's like i'm just constantly fighting w myself inside#it's so draining#but i have a reality to face so i'll just. i'm sorry i'll bury it#i'm sorry to the words i used to write to myself then. i don't want to let them go but i suppose they were too 'naive' for this world#i don't have anymore energy to reach out. ffs i just want to be better n do better but i'm so tired#i don't want to forsake my younger self but.. i'm sorry maybe i'll just live out all this in my head instead. as i used to do#i have a lot to do dw i'll get up n face them#it hurts. i don't want to hurt myself but i can't be productive like this n#the other better way is. not for someone like me yk i don'r have much friends i'm too shy but all of them have closer friends n#apollo deserves more my family deserves more than me i'm sorry i just want to be myself but maybe that's not needed at all in this world#i'm not enough so i might as well go along this path. i know it won't make stuff better but. it fucking hurts i'm sorry#that sounds so sinister without the rest of the context dw i'm not gna do anything too extreme but. i have to be well enough to live in this#world. yeah.#i'm. oh my god this hurts bcs i know better i really do but these thoughts just persist n it hurts so much. it hurts so much#i don't want to lose myself to these negative thoughts bcs i rlly know better but god it hurts it hurts#i'm afraid bcs if i.. hide properly or wtvr i know i can be good enough to. idk pretend cleanly that i'm fine n destroy all the progress#i've built. but i don't want to lose myself. i know better but i'm stuck in my head n it hurts so much i'm sorry
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abyssalstardust · 2 years
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My brain did that thing where it latched onto the idea of looking for jobs online and I did for about an hour and now I want to kms again
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lacunasbalustrade · 5 months
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#the problem is i have lots to write but i never feel like im writing what i should be writing#Like. im excited about all my projects and i love them! i genuinely do love the fics and the personals and the game building i am very#excited at all times#HOWEVER#i still feel like i can never dig out everything inside of me#if that makes sense#im like a mole and i just keep finding more and more treasure and i want to get it all out into broad daylight where i can appreciate it but#however deep i go it's just not enough. There's still more. and i hope that one day just - one day I'll run out of things to say and i can#just live - i used to sanction myself from saying just but now i want to know why so I'm leaving it#i hope to just live someday. i never want to keep talking. but there's just so much to say and i need to get all of it out. sometimes i#dream that there must - there must be some special story inside me and if only i find out what it's about perhaps I'll be able to remove all#that's buried within me. i think that if i can find it maybe i can finish writing and the thought delights me i want nothing more than to#stop saying things.#i want to finish writing. i want to live now - but i can't. no matter how much i write#always some kind of subject that i haven't finished having thoughts about and i want so badly to finish myself so i can see all of me laid#out on paper and pull out the bad bits and fix myself mentally - rigorously - completely#i think that if i write that thing which has consumed all the words within me perhaps I'll finally be free.
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merinelsa · 1 year
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evie-sturns · 1 month
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wrong room - Matt Sturniolo
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summary: you recently met nick through social media, he invites you over to his house for the night. while walking to the bathroom you accidentally enter the wrong room, walking in on matt masturbating.
contains: smut, caught masturbating, soft!dom matt, swearing, light choking.
a/n: this fic will contain different pov's between yours and matts, but it will have a little text so you will known when.
—----------------┌── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┐----------———
i met nick just the other month at taras party, we instantly clicked resulting in him inviting me round today. i've been hanging out with him around his house his whole day with one of his triplet brothers, chris, i think.
(y/n's pov)
i lean against nicks countertop as he has a poor attempt to cook, "nick- nick no!" i laugh, grabbing the bag of flour as he repeatedly hits it with his elbow while mixing the dough.
"oh god, my fault" he says with a a grin as chris walks over, he spanks the cookie dough which is inside the mixing bowl, earning a slap from nick.
"okay- i'll give it a go." i decide to finally step up, nick steps out of the way as i look into the bowl, its somehow completely unmixed even after hes mixed for a solid 5 minutes.
i look over my shoulder, my eyebrows knit in confusion as i lock eyes with nick, "i'm actually not sure how i managed that."
"its okay baking isn't for everyone." i tease, he scoffs as chris laughs, "how do you mix for 20 minutes and all the ingredients look the exact same as when we put them in the bowl." chris says,
nick mocks him with a finger in the air and a nerdy tone, chris punches his shoulder.
i step away, "do you guys have a bathroom?" i ask, "nah we shit in the woods." chris says.
"yeah, we use the bark off the trees to wipe then bury it with our hands." nick adds on, unlocking the backdoor and opening it for me.
i go to walk out slowly, chris grabs my shoulder and spins me around, "down the hallway, and the last door on the left."
"oh-" i say with a loud laugh as i walk down the hall, i hear the metal of the bowl collide with the wooden floor from behind me "shit!" nick says.
i get to the end of the corridor and look to my right, the door is shut. i grip the handle and open it,
my eyes widen as i instantly grow hot, the third triplet, matt, is laying across the bed. hes wearing a green shirt and a necklace hangs loosely around his neck. his sweatpants are tugged down to his mid thighs as he's repeatedly running his hand up and down his length with his head thrown back.
(matts pov)
"fuck- fuck fuck-" strings of whimpers exit my mouth as slick noises fill the room, i brush my fingers over my sensitive tip before continuing to run my hand up and down my cock, the cold metal of my rings dragging against the veins.
"oh my god 'm- please please-" i whine, squeezing my eyes shut as i throw my head back against my headboard. my ears ring,
i dont even register the click of the door opening until i hear a feminine gasp "shit-" i hear.
my eyes spring open as i abruptly stop all hand movements, she stares at me in shock. her face is white and her mouth is open, after a few seconds she scrambles out of the room with several 'sorry's'
i sigh as my cheeks grow red, i didn't even cover myself. my hand is still wrapped around my length.
i stand up out of bed, my legs weak. i'm still hard but i've completely lost my train of thought, too embarrassed to think about finishing now. i hear the bathroom door slam shut, meaning that this girl has now found the bathroom.
i pull up my sweatpants, grabbing hand sanitiser off my bedside table and clean up my hands before pulling up my sweatpants.
"matt!!" i hear nick call from the kitchen. i open the door of my bedroom before making my way up the corridor.
(y/n's pov)
i unlock the door to the bathroom before walking back up towards the kitchen, the 3 triplets are there.
"we got the cookies in the oven but it turned to fucking liquid as soon as we put 'em in." chris says, pulling out the chair to the dining table and flopping down on it,
"this is matt, i don't think you've met him yet." nick says, matt and i lock eyes and he sticks his hand out for a hand shake.
i hesitate before shaking his hand, "formal ass greeting" nick says, elbowing matt and sitting down at the table, "sorry- 'm matt" matt says, running a hand through his hair "no worries, im y/n!" i say chirpily
all four of us gather at the table, matt is directly opposite me and i can feel his eyes lying on me, we keep making eye contact as chris and nick speak with each other about god knows, hes painfully attractive i have to admit, his tatoos, rings, awkward persona.
"its almost midnight, do you wanna start headed to bed?" nick asks me, i nod before walking off with nick towards his room.
"are you okay?" nick asks me as soon as the door shuts, "no- no i'm fine."
"is it matt?" nick laughs slightly as he pulls on a crewneck sweater and leaps into his bed. "yeah- no- i mean it's just i've met him before..?" i lie through my teeth, nick nods suspicously.
"well i'm tired as shit so i'm gonna cut it" nick says, "cut it?" i laugh, laying down beside nick.
"go to sleep? cut it....?" he smiles with a shrug.
-
nicks fast asleep, i just now remember the fact the cookies have been in the oven for over 35 minutes. i jump up, speed-walking out of the room and into the kitchen. i take out the metal tray, the 'cookies' are just lumps of charcoal now.
with a groan i exit the kitchen, i can see through the crack in his bedroom door that matt's still awake.
i don't know what posseses me but i knock softly on the door, "come in." i hear.
i open the door, matts shirtless in bed, still wearing those sweatpants from earlier.
(matt's pov)
my eyes widen as i see her walk into the room, "hi, uh- i just wanted to apologise for earlier." she says, i stand up out of bed to get closer to her, she shuts the door behind her. she’s only wearing a loose and long shirt which looks like a dress on her, with panties, which show every time she lifts up her arms.
"i should've knocked." she continues, i smile and shake my head.
"no i totally get it, honest mistake" i reply, "wasn't the best way to meet you so i'm sorry about that." she laughs slightly.
"its all okay," i say, "so you're not mad at me?" she asks shyly. "i would never be mad about that?" i sigh, pulling her into a hug.
theres a thick tension in the air, i don't know where it's come from but i know we are both feeling it.
she looks up at me, my arms are still loosely wrapped around her back.
she grabs my jaw before colliding our lips together, her lips are soft, i hesitate before kissing her back, my hand lacing into her hair.
i guide her back, she falls backwards onto my matress as our lips stay joined, our tongues now fighting for dominance.
her hands reach down and start tugging down my waistband. i pull away for a second, “are you sure?” i ask her, she nods frantically “please- yes.”
“arms up.” i say, she puts her arms above her head as i reach down, pulling off her loose tshirt. my eyes fall to her tits as my cheeks flush, she squirms on the matress impatiently.
i tug off her panties, discarding them somewhere across my room. she’s fully bare infront of me, her top teeth sinking into her bottom lip.
i lean over her to reach my bedside table, fiddling around in the drawer for a condom, “i’m on the pill,” she says grabbing my wrist and pulling me away
“oh shit okay!” i say, sounding a little too excited. she laughs slightly.
“you gotta be really, fucking, quiet.” i stare into her eyes, “nick is through that fucking wall and chris is the other side, if you get too loud i’ll stop mhm?”
she nods frantically “yes- yeah okay”
i line myself up with her, my hand travels down to grip her waist and i hold her hand with my free hand.
i push inside of her, instantly feeling her grip around me. i immediately worry, there’s not a single chance i’m lasting past a minute with her being this tight.
she lets out a delicate moan, holding herself back as she presses her lips together. i give her a minute to adjust before thrusting out to my tip, then pressing deeper inside of her.
with each thrust i pick up my pace as i stay concentrated on the wall, trying not to instantly cum.
she throws her head back, arching her back off my bed as every so often she lets out a shaky deep breath. i take the hand that’s on her waist and press down on her lower abdomen, seeing how far i can push her before she makes a noise.
i stop holding her hand with my other hand, and start tracing figure 8’s on her clit.
she finally breaks, letting on a desperate moan which seemed to come out louder than expected. i quicken my movements before slamming a hand over her pretty mouth. i hear a muffled ‘close’ and i continue to toy with her clit, keeping a hand plastered on her mouth.
she clenches around me, a whimper falls from my mouth as i feel her release, screaming my name.
i take my hand off her clit and place a hand on her throat, pressing lightly as she comes down from her high.
i pull out of her, finishing in my hand.
i flip down next to her, pulling her ontop of me and rubbing her back soothingly as i attempt to catch my breath. “matt..” i hear her say quietly,
“mhmm?” i reply, “can you walk me back to nicks room.” she says, sitting up on my thighs and reaching for her shirt.
“yeah, of course.” i say with a smile.
she crawls off of me to retrieve her underwear, which landed on my computer keyboard.
i sit up, pulling on my sweatpants and a soft shirt before grabbing her hand.
i creak open my bedroom door, she follows close behind me. i open the door to nicks room where he’s spread out on his bed, fast asleep. i pull down the covers and sweep her off her feet.
i lay her down on the bed, adjusting her head on the pillow before pulling up the duvet, i press my lips to her forehead before leaving the room.
————————-
(y/n’s pov)
9:38am
i wake up to the sun blaring on my face, i roll over, my legs still hurting from last night. i sit up, “nick” i tap him, he shoots up in bed.
“jesus!” i laugh, “how the fuck did you get up that fast- were you awake??”
nick erupts into laughter, “you scared me that’s all!” he says, i scoff before standing up out of bed, nick follows behind me as i open the door to his room.
i walk into the kitchen where chris and matt already are, leaning on the kitchen counter.
“good morning!” i say, matt shoots me a stupid smile “guess what.” chris says blankly, my heart drops, did he hear matt and i last night?
“what.” i instantly reply, looking over at matt who looks equally as nervous as me.
he walks over to the stovetop where the tray of ‘cookies were’ he picks them up and walks over to nick, matt and i.
“oh yeah- you dumbfucks left ‘em in the oven so i took them out.”
“what. the. FUCK is that” nick laughs, backing away from the burnt excuses of cookies.
“are they edible still?” chris genuinely asks, looking over at me for an awnser.
“chris what do you think.”
——————-
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tender-rosiey · 11 months
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Since your requests are open I'll help myself 😋 Gojo's wife starts to have morning sicknesses, so she suspects that she's pregnant. She takes a test and finds out that she actually is pregnant. Would u please write gojo's reaction when his wife tells his that he's gonna be a daddy? 🥺💕 thanks you, please feed us with your delicious writing!!!
Also if you're not feeling well then please ignore this. Take care! Mwah^•^♡
weight — gojo satoru x f!reader
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a/n: I hope you like this, luv 🥺💕 thank you so much for your kind words and take care of yourself as well! many kisses and hugs 🫶
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“shoko, I need a place to hide!” you say, bursting into the infirmary. you take the small moment of shock that shoko is in to take a much needed breath.
“what did you do this time?”
you wordlessly raise the pregnancy test with slightly shaky hands and upon seeing it, shoko drops the poor sandwich she was eating. you close the door behind you before sitting down next her.
she smiles, “nice, I am going to be an aunt,” then she looks at you confused, “why are you hiding though?”
“I need time to figure out how I will tell him or more like—“ you look at the ceiling, “face him. he will probably figure everything out with his six eyes, but I don’t know how he will react,” you wrap your arms around yourself and shoko sighs.
“you guys didn’t talk about it yet?” she stands up and goes to get you a warm drink.
you gently rock yourself, “satoru already…has so much on his shoulders,” you bury your face in your arms, “I don’t want to add to that.”
she places the mug in front of you, “you do know that he got into this relationship willingly, right? you didn’t hold him at gunpoint or anything…or did you?”
you lightly punch her shoulders, but you take the mug, muttering a small thanks, “if anyone was held at gunpoint then it would be me.”
shoko chuckles and pats your head, “you need to be able to face him, y/n. he will find out anyway, and personally, I think you should have faith in his reaction more than that,” you lock eyes, “you know him more than anyone else, after all.”
your gaze falls to your drink. its surface is so still until you softly blow and it ripples, calm the chaos.
what if you don’t know satoru as much as you thought? what if having a kid will scare him away?  as the strongest, your husband has so much on his mind 24/7. will he be able to handle a baby as well?
while a part of you tells you that your husband is no coward nor is he so fragile, the other can’t help but think that perhaps this love story of 12 years will reach its end, a very tragic end even.
with the creation of a new life, ends a lifetime of feelings and events.
you snap out of your thoughts when you notice shoko shooing you into the closet room.
you hear the door open and you have a guess who it is. he makes himself known anyway, “shoko,  have you seen y/n?”
shoko quirks an eyebrow and gojo huffs, “okay, fine, I know she is here, but is she mad at me? did I do something?”
you have a feeling that he is looking directly at your eyes even through the closet’s door as he speaks, “y/n, I will take you out anywhere. I don’t know what I did, but let me make it up to you. I hate when you’re upset with me, sweets.”
he is frowning lightly as he stares at the closet with hope. shoko sighs before walking out of the room, but not without patting his shoulder.
the door closes and satoru speaks up again, “can you please come out so we can at least talk about it?”
he hears your sigh and beams when you finally get out of the room, “there is my pretty girl.”
he has a flower bouquet in hand and he is looking at you so intently, but you don’t think he noticed the life growing inside of you now. he is far too focused on making you forgive him for whatever he did. you take a deep breath and look him in the eyes.
your hand moves and finally rests on your stomach.
his brows furrow lightly before his eyes widen. satoru’s breath hitches just like it did during your wedding. he places the bouquet aside before looking quickly between your eyes and stomach, “you are…”
you grip your own hands, nodding. tears start forming in your eyes till they finally fall and cries are what he sees now. your knees give out on you and you fall to the ground, now sobbing.
you are looking at the ground as you cry and hug yourself tighter, bracing yourself for whatever is coming.
satoru, almost instantly, finds himself on his knees in front of you.
his arms, like it’s second nature, pull you close into a warm and secure hug, “hey, hey,” he pats your back, a little clumsily, “if you don’t want it then it’s fine. you know I care about you the most,” his voice shakes a bit, “don’t cry please, you’re breaking my heart—“
“I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry,” you repeat a mantra of the same phrase as you pull him even closer. satoru cups your face and the moment you’re met with the pair of blue eyes you love so much, you break down more, “I know you—probably don’t want it but—“
he tilts his head, utterly confused and maybe even offended, “what are you talking about? of course, I want it!”
the room is silent for a moment as you process what he says. it’s like a massive weight has been lifted off your shoulders. you let out a shaky breath as you look down at your hands.
satoru rests his forehead on your own. his voice is soft and barely above a whisper as he speaks, “it’s our baby.”
the content smile on his face is almost unreal, “why in the world would you think that I wouldn’t want it anyway?” and somehow the pout on his face assures you even more.
your arms wrap themselves around his torso and you rest your head on his shoulder, “it’s just—I thought it would be burdening you with yet another responsibility. you have the world on top of your shoulders. how am I better than anyone if I weigh down even if it’s a different type of weight.”
“is it a weight for you?” he asks, voice hushed.
“of course not! I want—“ you answer immediately.
“there is your answer,” he chuckles and you look at his face once again.
you notice that he is tearing up. your satoru is tearing up, and the blindfold isn’t there to hide it nor are the glasses.
his eyes never leave yours as he says, with no waver on his voice, “I would pick you over everything else, every single time and in every single universe, silly girl.”
“you should know that already,” he flicks your forehead but the smile never leaves his face.
a soft laugh tumbles out of his lips as he pulls you in for a big bear hug, his form completely engulfing your own.
he fills tears stain his shirt, but he can only focus on your smile he feels on his skin and the fact that he voice out loud, “I will be a dad,” he sighs with contentment.
“and it’s all because of you,” he raises your face and nuzzles your noses together making you giggle, “we're going to be parents, you sweet pretty thing.”
satoru’s lips find themselves on your own in one very sweet and loving kiss. it’s soft, light, and gentle. yet it conveys all the words that he can’t get out at the moment.
when you pull away slightly, he quickly pulls you back for another, “I love you so much.”
he places a hand on your stomach, “and you too.”
“but don’t think I will share mama with you,” he sticks his tongue out at it, “she is mine!”
the baby is not even out of the womb, and yet he is already bickering with it.
you laugh and your chest feel so light. you kiss his cheek and his pout turns into a grin almost immediately. you hum, “infinity and beyond?”
his hand holds your own and he caresses your ring, “infinity and beyond.”
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hgfictionwriter · 3 days
Text
Insatiable
Jessie Fleming x Reader
Summary: Jessie gets back after a few weeks away and is more than ready to make up for lost time with you. The best way she think to reconnect is to make you cum - again, and again, and again.
Warning: Smut. Overstimulation. Mind break. Marathon sex. Language.
A/N: In response to this request.
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"You looked incredible tonight," Jessie said as she took your jacket from you and hung it up in the entry way.
"Yeah?" You said with a faint smirk as Jessie returned to wrap her arms around you.
She'd been handsy all night - hand inching up your thigh under the table, leaning in extra close to whisper, idly playing with your hair while you talked. Jessie normally wasn't overly affectionate in public, especially around her friends, so you knew something was up.
"Mhmm," she whispered as she leaned down to lay soft kisses on your neck. Your breath caught in your throat momentarily.
"I'm glad you're home," you told her as you tilted your head, inviting her to kiss you further.
"Me too," she agreed. "And now that we're done with the social obligations, I get you to myself."
Your smile grew as Jessie guided you towards the wall of your entryway and began sucking on your neck, her hips now pressed into yours.
"I missed you way too much," she said, grinding into you subtly as her hands toyed with the hem of your shirt and snuck underneath.
"I missed you too," you told her as you ran a hand through her hair.
"Mm, mm," she disagreed as she continued kissing you while her hands roamed. "Not like I missed you."
"Let's agree to disagree," you chuckled. Jessie reached to undo your jeans and you pulled back to look at her. She stopped and gave you a deep frown.
"I have a headache," you told her apologetically. You watched as she stared at you, entirely motionless and unblinking until you burst into laughter. "Kidding. I just wanted to see what you'd do."
It only took a moment for her expression to shift into a wicked grin and she pinned you further against the wall, holding your hands above your head. She spoke through gritted teeth.
"I'll get you back for that, you know."
You chuckled. "Did that bother you, baby?"
"Yes," she said with a pointed nip at the base of your neck. "Considering for weeks I've been envisioning all the different ways I'm going to fuck you tonight."
A soft gasp escaped you as Jessie suddenly released your hands and grabbed you by the shirt, eyes locked on you before she dove in and kissed you hard. She marched you into the bedroom, peeling off your shirt and bra, and barely breaking the kiss before allowing you both to fall haphazardly onto the bed.
She continued undressing you both until all your clothes were littering the floor. She bit your lip before standing up off the bed to look down at you with dark eyes.
"God, you're fucking beautiful," she said before grabbing you and pulling you to the edge of the bed before dropping to one knee. A small moan escaped you already as you looked down your body to see her kneeling between your legs with a smirk as she hooked them over her shoulders.
Normally, Jessie would make sure you were laying with your head on the pillows and very comfortable, but not tonight.
Not delaying a moment longer, Jessie dove right into your pussy, moaning into you immediately as her tongue pushed inside of you a few times before dragging up through your folds, flicking your clit and back down.
"God, I missed this," she said between licks.
"Oh fuck," you moaned. "Jess. Oh my God, I've missed you." She continued to devour you, her tongue expertly navigating you. You threw back your head and dug your fingers into your crown. "Fuck, it feels so good already."
Jessie groaned in approval and latched onto your clit, suckling on it while flicking her tongue across it. You moaned harder and she dug her nails into your thighs.
The feel of her mouth on you was amazing anytime, but tonight she devoured you with fervour and hunger. She buried her face in you and licked and sucked as though there was no greater thing on earth.
It only took a few minutes for Jessie's ministrations to bring you to the edge your peak. You'd been satisfying yourself for weeks and it just didn't even begin to compare to what she was doing to you.
Your rocked your hips up into her waiting mouth and brought your hand down to her head.
"Jess, oh my God. I'm so close."
She moaned into you and soon you tossed your head back, thighs tightening around her head as tension within you boiled over. A cry fell from your lips and she dug her nails into your thighs even more, certain to leave a few marks.
Your jaw was slack as you breathed heavily, trying to catch your breath once your body relaxed back into the bed. You felt it shift as Jessie crawled up your body with a smirk.
"Welcome home. My God," you said as you ran a hand across your forehead as you tried to refocus.
Jessie chuckled as she bent down to tuck her head into your neck and began kissing you there. A small moan escaped you again, your hands coming up to rest on her arms as your body writhed.
You expected her to make a witty remark of some kind about how needy you were, but instead you felt her hands grip your waist firmly and she shifted you into the middle of the bed away from the edge.
You let out a playful laugh and cupped her face in your hands as she returned to you and kissed you. She opened her mouth to deepen the kiss, which you readily obliged. Requiring no encouragement, you wrapped your legs around her and she instinctively rocked her hips against you. You made out for a few minutes, with her gently grinding against you and pulling a few small moans from you before she pulled back.
"Don't move," she told you as she went to her nightstand and retrieved her strap. You unknowingly bit your lip, running your fingers through your hair in anticipation.
When she returned a few moments later, you nearly blushed at the way her eyes raked over you as she crawled up the bed towards you.
"Now you are a sight to behold," she said before trailing kisses up your chest, neck and finally your mouth.
You wrapped your legs around her once more and she leaned up, straightening her arms to look down at you with a pleased smile.
"Mm, eager for me, aren't you baby?" She teased as she lifted her hips and reached down with one hand to rub her fingers through your folds. Her digits glided through with how wet you were. She looked down at you with a look of wonder and appreciation.
"God, I missed running my fingers across your pussy," she said. Her jaw shifted and her eyes fell shut with a soft moan - echoed by your own - as she sunk two fingers easily inside of you.
"Oh fuck," you said, nearly breathless already with your head tilted back into the bed. "Oh god, I missed you."
"You are so wet for me, baby," Jessie said as she slowly pumped in a couple of times, eyes now open and fixed on you. She shook her head affectionately. "I'm so lucky."
You groaned, her fingers feeling amazing inside of you. "I'd say I'm the lucky one."
She chuckled, withdrawing her fingers from you and pulling a whining moan from you that was quickly quieted when you looked down to see her rubbing your slick arousal onto her strap, soon jacking it up and down before rubbing it through your folds for good measure.
"Jesus, you look hot," you told her with a crooked grin, which she returned, her waves framing her face as she easily continued to hold herself above you.
"Well, I gotta say, every time I do planks at the gym, it takes a lot of mental fortitude to not picture you beneath me," she said with a short laugh.
"Sorry?" You offered with a laugh of your own. "Sounds like I'm distracting."
"You are very distracting," Jessie said as she lined herself up with your entrance. "But I wouldn't have it any other way."
She slowly thrust forward, slipping inside of you. You immediately dug your nails into her biceps and she let out a small grunt.
"You look so good beneath me," she said, her voice now husky.
"Oh my God," was all you could manage to say, even though she just held herself inside of you for a few moments, letting you adjust. You felt so full, and again, it was just so different with her being on the other end instead of just your toys.
She reached up to tuck your hair behind your ear and she kissed the side of your face before nipping at your earlobe. She drew her hips back, holding steady so just the tip was inside of you before sinking back in.
"Oh fuck, Jess." You nearly hissed at how good it felt.
"Your reactions make it very difficult to go slow," she teased. "You're lucky I don't fuck you right off this bed with how good you look and sound."
A needy moan escaped you and your dug your nails into her further. You opened your eyes to look at her.
"Don't make promises you can't keep," you challenged.
You knew exactly what that would do to her. Something shifted in her expression and before you could think much more about it, she drew back before driving into you. She dropped down to her elbows and gave a few more measured strokes before she began thrusting in and out of you relentlessly.
You released a series of cries and moans as she expertly flexed and moved above you. One moment she filled you deliciously to the brim, before pulling out and leaving you with a burning need that she'd fill not even a second later.
"Oh God, Jessie." Her name filled the room as your body rocked against the mattress at the mercy of her thrusts.
Her movements were fluid and powerful and you could feel the way she was watching you. Every time you went to open your eyes, a wave of pleasure shot through you and they would just flutter shut again as you tossed your head back. She leaned down and kissed your neck, pulling more moans from you as she teased the sensitive skin there.
You released a particularly heady groan when she drove herself deep inside of you one time and you felt your head move off the edge of the mattress. After a couple more thrusts, your head hung off the edge of the bed completely and Jessie devoured your fully exposed neck.
"Jess," you moaned as you clung onto her as she continued to pump into you, inching you further and further with each stroke. A brief image flashed through your mind of how submissive and needy you must look right now, with her fucking you like a ragdoll and quite literally off the bed.
You let out a small yelp as she sat up, momentarily pulling out, and grabbing you by the hips and flipping you onto your stomach. Your hips were still on the bed, but she didn't bother pulling you further back. You laughed at how you needed to reached down with your hands to brace yourself on the floor.
You were tempted to make a quip of some kind, but when you glanced over your shoulder and saw her straddling your backside and lining herself up again any witty comments left your mind. She locked eyes with you and sunk back inside of you. Your jaw fell slack and you moaned, dropping your head again and refocusing on holding yourself up.
She held onto your hips and, given her position, each thrust not only hit your g-spot, but went amazingly deep. It wasn't long before you were cumming around her cock, her name echoing through the room again.
Your arms were shaking as you struggled to hold yourself up through your orgasm and she swiftly reached down to wrap her arm under you and guide you both to the floor.
She gently laid you out on your back and your chest rose up and down as you worked to catch your breath. You managed to open your eyes and were met with a vision of Jessie looking down at you with hunger still burning in her eyes.
When your gaze met hers, a small smile formed on her face before she leaned in to kiss you once more. It wasn't chaste or even sweet, like it normally would be after sex, instead it was deep and wanting.
"You have no idea how much I missed you," Jessie said between kisses, her body now rocking above you, though she was no longer inside of you. "I didn't know I could miss someone the way I miss you."
You kissed a while longer, your end of the kiss a bit languid as you worked to recover, until she broke away. You looked to see her grabbing a pillow off the bed. She smiled down at you as she reached underneath you to lift you and place the pillow under your hips.
You could hardly process your thoughts as she began kissing down your body. Your legs opened up further for her without you realizing it and she placed her hands on the underside of your thighs and pushed your legs back. She gave you a small smirk before she dipped her head down and began eating you out once more.
"Jesus Christ, Jess," you ground out as your head fell back against the carpet.
A few more moans fell from your lips as she lapped at you and sucked on your clit once more. Your pleasure was starting to yet build again when she sat back and wiped her mouth before settling her hips between your legs. She rocked her hips so the strap pushed through your folds, getting slick once more.
You brought your hands up to your face, overwhelmed with what she was doing to you.
"Come on, beautiful," she coaxed as she reached up with one hand to take yours and pull it away from your face. "I love seeing your face when we fuck."
You let out an incoherent noise and took a deep breath as you tried to listen. You honoured her wishes and moved your hands down to your breasts and began massaging them.
"Oh fuck yeah," she said as she shifted forward, though still sitting on her heels and entering you with her strap. She bit her lip as she watched you.
As she slowly began to pump in and out of you, your hands stilled as you were too distracted by the pulsations that went through you with each movement she made.
"Allow me," she said with a smirk as she reached down and replaced your hands with her own and began tenderly massaging your breasts as she flexed her hips to thrust inside of you.
A high moan worked its way up your throat as you dug your fingers through your hair and into your scalp. You tilted your head back further into the carpet.
"God, you look amazing," she said as she took you in, your legs spread wide for her, head thrown back and back arching off the floor.
A small noise of appreciation escaped her as she watched your writhe. She continued to massage you and tweaked your nipples just enough to pull a mewling cry out of you.
Eventually, she sat back fully on her heels again and reached under your legs, lifting them and pulling you closer to her on the floor. She began to pick up her pace.
A long moan rumbled in your throat and you looked down your body to see Jessie sitting back, hands on your hips with your legs resting over the crook of her arms. Your legs swayed rhythmically in time with her thrusts, her strong hips flexing as she rut into you, her own knees spread wide to meet your core.
Jessie's mouth fell open as she worked to maintain control of her breath. A smile tugged at her lips as a few clipped moans escaped you, truncated with each pump of her hips.
She leaned back further and pulled her hands back from your waist to hold your legs open and to anchor her as she began to quicken her thrusts even more. She could feel the rug burn starting on the inside of her knees, but she didn't care. You were close and she wasn't about to stop.
A cry fell from your mouth and you clawed at the floor as Jessie continually hit your sweet spot and sent you hurtling over the edge.
"You look so fucking beautiful when you cum," Jessie said in reverence as she continued to piston in and out of you. She slowed when you began your descent.
Your chest heaved up and down as you lay spent on the floor, your head lolled to the side. Your legs trembled in Jessie’s hands and she let them down, now idly massaging your thighs as you lay spent on the floor. You could only manage to fleetingly open your eyes, seeing her watch you with a sweet smile on her face.
"Let's get you off the floor," Jessie said with a light chuckle as she withdrew from you - biting back a grin at the small whimper you made when she pulled out.
She lifted you off the ground, holding you in her arms as she climbed onto the bed. She sat down in the middle of it and maneuvered you so you were sitting in her lap. You wrapped your arms around her.
"I'm going to try something, okay?" She asked and lifted you so she was positioned at your entrance again. She slowly eased you down on her - feeble moans coming from you as she filled you once more - until you were fully in her lap again, legs wrapped around her as well.
"Is this okay?" She asked looking up at you with a soft smile. You nodded, still too tired and disoriented to speak, but you wrapped your arms more fully around her, resting on her shoulders and caressed her hair. Her smile widened and she leaned forward to kiss your neck.
She felt your throat rumble as you moaned softly while she gave you slow, sensual kisses along the base of your neck. You gasped, jaw falling slack, as she gave the subtlest shift of her hips.
You leaned heavily against her, your bodies pressed against one another's. She held you steady with one arm bracing your back and the other rest on your waist.
As she kissed your neck, she shifted a touch to make just enough room between you for her hand to wander down so her thumb rest on your clit. Your jaw dropped further as she gently began to circle the sensitive bud.
You arched into her and you felt a rush of her breath, hot on your skin, as she dug her fingers gently into your back.
"I love you so much," she said as she continued to tenderly rub your clit and lightly suckle at the skin of your neck. You gave a slow nod.
"I love you too," you breathed as you pulled her tighter. You subconsciously began to rock in her lap, small jolts going through you as she stroked your clit, coupled with the sensation of being so full with her strap.
Jessie rocked her hips very gently, and not even enough to really move, but just enough to provide a bit of friction in time with the way she circled your clit.
"God, Jessie, what are you doing to me?" You managed to ask as she continued and your pleasure built.
She tilted her head to begin kissing along the other side of your neck. "I wasn't kidding when I told you I've been dreaming of all the ways I wanted to fuck you when I got home." She exhaled heavily, her breath tickling you and sending goosebumps across your skin. "I love being this close to you. There's nothing better," she whispered.
"You make me feel so amazing," you told her as your ran your hands through her hair.
"I want nothing more," she said as she continued her ministrations. The subtle gyrations of your hips quickened just so and she matched your pace, knowing you were close again. "I want you to cum for me," she whispered as she kissed your neck and rubbed your clit.
Heavy panting filled the room as you gently rocked on top of her and she held you close.
"Oh fuck," you said as you felt yourself begin to spasm. Your legs tightened around her and she dug her nails into the skin of your back.
She held you tightly until you relaxed in her arms, all but collapsing into her. She laid a soft trail of kisses along your collarbone as you lay listless in her embrace, your head resting against hers. It was several minutes before she broke the silence. Her voice snapped you out of your trance.
"Okay," she said with a soft chuckle. "I guess we should get you cleaned up."
You gave a tired chuckle of your own. "Jesus Christ, Jess. Four orgasms. I've never been fucked like this in my life."
Jessie hummed as she kissed your neck again. "Are you telling me this is a record for you?" You had to laugh.
"Yes. It is," you affirmed as you shifted to lift yourself off of her. Your legs shook, giving out altogether and she quickly reached out to help you. You huffed affectionately when you saw the brightness in her eyes paired with a grin she was trying rather unsuccessfully to hold back. "Go ahead. You can gloat."
"I wouldn't gloat," she half-heartedly disputed, now fully smiling. She gave you a look. "But seriously, how could someone not want to give you as many orgasms as they could. I can't get enough of you."
You took another few minutes before attempting to get up. Even then, you were very unsteady and had no choice but to let Jessie help you to the bathroom. You were about to start cleaning up when she hoisted you onto the counter.
Despite your surprise and confusion, you still instinctively opened your legs to make room for her to settle between them. She placed her hands on top of your thighs and began kissing your neck once more. Your arms went around her shoulders and you cupped the back of her head with a hand.
“Baby, what’s gotten into you?” You questioned with a laugh. Jessie seemed completely insatiable tonight.
“I don’t know,” she mumbled into your neck as her fingers began to massage the muscles of your thighs. “I just want you so bad. Over and over. I want to be inside of you,” she snaked a hand between your legs and ran her thick fingers through your folds, “I want you moaning. Writhing for me.”
“Jesus Christ.” Somehow, you were aching for her again. You were going to be so sore, but right now you wanted the same as her. “Jessie,” you rocked your hips towards her waiting fingers, “make me cum again.”
She let out a shuddering moan and instantly sunk her fingers inside of you, stretching you out once more.
“Fuck,” she hissed, burying her head in your neck. She curled her fingers inside of you. “You feel so unbelievably amazing. I love fucking you with my strap, but feeling you tighten around my fingers, feeling you pool around me makes me so hot for you.”
“Oh my God.” Her words alone had you growing even wetter for the nth time today. “You are so good with your fingers. I love the way you fuck me and I love having you inside me.”
Jessie hummed in appreciation and lifted her head to meet your lips in a hard, deep kiss. She pulled her fingers out, sure to hit your sweet spot as she did so, before sinking back in to her knuckles. A loud moan from you filled the room.
Jessie moaned into your kiss and soon began pumping in and out of you. A high whimper emerged from your throat as you clutched onto her.
“Mmm I love how wet you get for me, baby,” Jessie praised between kisses.
You let out a sharp gasp as Jessie’s thumb began to caress your clit in time with her thrusts.
“God, Jess. I love the way you fuck me.”
Your words seemed to spur her on and her strokes grew firmer. She bit your bottom lip and you let out a long moan.
“I could never get tired of fucking you,” Jessie proclaimed, her voice stuttering from the motion of her thrusts.
Your whimpers continued to resound off the walls as she kept her pace and brought you closer to another high. You only vaguely noted the eventual huff of a laugh she let out.
“I can feel you tightening around me, baby,” she said, the satisfaction in her voice very evident. “I want to feel you cum around me. Show me how good I make you feel.”
“No one’s ever made me cum the way you do,” you whispered in her ear. “I’m so close.”
With a cry, you began pulsating around her fingers, your hips rocking to meet her. You bit down on her shoulder as you rode out the white hot pleasure that was overtaking you.
You slumped against her as you came down from your fifth orgasm that night and she just held you steady while you caught your breath. Jessie laid soft kisses along your hairline as you regained your strength. Eventually, she spoke.
“Okay, I’ll help you get cleaned up for real this time,” she said with a soft chuckle. “I promise.”
You merely offered a grunt in response and she laughed fully this time.
“Do I owe you an apology?” She asked teasingly.
“Mm, no,” you were slow to reply, still leaning into her. “Though I may change my mind tomorrow when I can’t sit down and can barely walk.”
“I’ve got rug burn on my knees if that makes you feel any better,” Jessie offered, stifling another laugh.
“I probably have it on my back!” You complained and the wince across Jessie’s face confirmed it. “I’ll only feel better about it if your teammates clock what your rug burn’s from and relentlessly make fun of you.”
Jessie huffed, but pulled her head back a moment later with a smug grin. “What are they going to make fun of? That I railed my girlfriend so good we just kept fucking on the floor? I mean, I could bring out the five orgasms as ammo, if needed.”
You shot her an affronted look and she snickered.
“Don’t worry. I’d never do that.” She leaned in again and laid a kiss on your shoulder. “I’m the only one who gets to know how good I fuck you.”
“Mm.” You paused, a look of contemplation on your face. “And my friends.”
“Huh?” Jessie asked, forehead creased in question. “They know?” You returned her earlier snicker.
“Yeah,” you answered nonchalantly. “And I’m definitely telling them about tonight.”
“What!” Jessie exclaimed, looking a bit bewildered. “Wait. Is this why they’re laughing sometimes when I’m around?”
“Maybe,” you chuckled. “Could be they’re laughing at some of your nerdy tendencies - affectionately, of course. Or the fact that my loveable, nerdy girlfriend is an absolute stud in bed. I don’t know. Could be anything, really.”
“Oh my God,” Jessie practically grimaced.
“There are worse reputations to have, my love.”
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