#i'd quit my day job
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Red Eyes and Evil Time, practically the same thing right (Patreon)
#Doodles#Villainsona#Just Desserts#Sona double feature!#Red Eyes and Evil Time /are/ different for the record lol#There's overlap and they're both eye details but they're different#Mmm Red Eyes feels so niiiice <3 And I've been pacing myself so it's Just Red Eyes!#No red shines :) Which can happen even on Red Eyes#In fact it's probably more common - the red shines on Blue Eyes was something of an oddity#No one knows the lore except me I'll explain someday lol#For now it's just fun to be in Red Eyes! :D And the occasional Evil Time as well lol - all the overlaps!#I somehow accidentally made a like?? Cotton Candied Popcorn themed outfit for Eli for the first one lol that wasn't my intention#I mean it's cute I'm not about to fight it lol I'd love for my sonas to have other clothes inspired by each other haha#Eli's eyes are still quite fun to draw as well haha those bright pops of colour - Red Purple or Blue they're all so stark and shaped#Back to their classic feminine outfit good for them uwu#Silly lad#They're also still a scientist first and foremost - it's all chemicals there's gotta be a way to recreate it externally!#Local vampire scientist creates mood stabilizers more at 7 lol#I'm quite pleased with the three-red two-purple one-blue gradient as well hehe - the decay! :D I like it as a visual#Charm tiiime <3 <3 Happy Charm time in Evil Time! Usually better than bad mood Evil Time lol - at least for those around her#Still chaotic to be in it haha - but happy chaos is happy! Lol#Again more fun with eyes the light bounce in the one where she's holding the melt is so cute and looks so nice on my paper too <3#I had a silly comic idea for her for the next time I get into Red Eyes as well - if I remember lol#Big Love is hearts! It just makes sense#Also I am Really proud of the cleaning job I did on that last one lol - from original to this? Night and day ngl#Guess that goes to show how little cleaning I do on-page lol#For some I do! Others...#Still thinking up outfits - you can probably just make out ''Hero Charm'' in her hair lol trying to think around different themes#Something that could become something else! Add or subtract an element and it changes the ''meaning'' of the outfit#Kinda like her initial caped design that Kaiein rejected hmmm
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LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO
#i forgot how difficult it is to print out digital art nicely djdkdl#it did take me three tries... after i ran the printer thru its cleaning cycle twice dbhddkl#so much printer ink. ALAS. i have quite a bit from a couple yrs ago and idk how long it lasts so like... i probably should use it up anyway#but shfjdld hopefully i can figure out the settings a little faster next time LORD. everything just came out way too dark#it still is darker and not as vivid as I'd like but ... i think this is as good as it gets for a home job fjfkdl#I AM PLEASED NONETHELESS!#i can add Guz to my secret wall of fandom dhdjdl i have mk up there and my paper mache dca masks already#its abt time i got my mans up there too fjfkdl#(i say secret wall bc it is hidden away from where anyone in the house can see it fjfkdl i have a curtain blocking it LMAO)#maybe one day if im able to i will have these printed out all niceys but fjfkdl for now this is what i will be pleased with :]#dandy.cmd
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Conceptually mushrooms are amazing and I'd love nothing more to eat them all the time but unfortunately I can't stand their texture, taste, or smell.
#mine#food#i'm a biologist who is into botany it's so sad that i don't like mushrooms#i'd be so good at foraging mushrooms and making lots of nice recipes#but the other day one of my roommates was cooking mushrooms in the kitchen and i could barely breathe through the smell#it's also quite literally the only food i really Do Not Like#i'm fine with mostly anything. i eat mussels! my favourite vegetables are brussel sprouts! but nooo mushrooms had to taste Bad smh#really good job you did there brain
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lolol im pretty sure my most important friendship of 24 years just ended i'm doing sooooo good rn
#and by so good i mean i'm gonna sob for a week#please ignore this i just really need to cry rn#cant wait for my entire family to hate me over this!!!!!!#i'm definitely not going to have twrrible trust issues bc of this#it's definitely not going to cause serious trauma#my cousin has been my biggest support literally my entire life#and she's been screwing me over so much#and just blew up at me for 'not giving her warning' that i was quitting our job#like i haven't been saying for months that we need to#like she didn't blow up at me the last time i tried to chnage our pay split#like she didn't ignore my last three fucking messages about it#she yelled at me and told me to fuck off#so that's#that's really cool#i've had chest pains for 3 days#and it went as badly as i expected!!!#anywyas i fucking hate being alive and i'm miserable#i'd love if things could go right for 5 fucking minutes#pls#ignore this#sticks being negative on main again#personal rambles#not stargate
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Tag rant/vent
#what if I just quit#and find a pay pig#someone willing to pay for all of my life#for just a little attention#or i could sell pics of my feet#the foot pic market is quite big#or my armpits#hell i'd sell worn socks#i just don't know how intelligent it can be for me to be at this workplace#working 8 hours a day again soon#with that colleague treating me without any respect#when I know i could have it so much easier#i love my job#but god#i am overwhelmed#i think my panic attacks this morning came from being stressed about work#it just#urgh
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no one asked but i finally worked my way out of my caffeine addiction :')
#the withdrawals were real when i tried to quit cold turkey#but eventually i drank less and less until i got down to one espresso shot a day#and then i'd alternate some days without drinking#and now i dont feel tired or cranky if i dont drink coffee!!#i do still have tea and stuff but with less caffeine content#i blame my corporate job lmao that shit had me drinking 10 shots a day#some of my anxiety symptoms also improved my doctor was actually right#🐿️
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if only my boop-o-meter was being transferred to my bank account
#if everyone received a dollar for every boop I'd quit my job and be putting money on your debits all day and that's on socialism#cha-ching
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quick doodle inspired by ao3 user loyal_backstabber's fic "Late Night To Early Morning" as a minor mood lifter (im fine now)
idk if they have a tumblr account i dont think they do which is kinda sad :( /lh
funnily enough mc's minor described appearance is pretty similar to my own (short dyed hair, but theyre described as blue)
inspired by i think about chapter 56-57?
nottttt really my best but its just a fast doodle :) i didnt use any reference for mc's outfit i just did it off the top of my head so it isnt the actual canon outfit in the fic 😭🙏
#sun fnaf#sundrop#sundrop x oc#sundrop x yn#sir thats my emotional support robot#fnaf#fnaf security breach#i am unhealthily attached to these silly little robots#sometimes i get hit with the existential dread of the fact that theyre robots and we're human so one day theoretically#if we were in that universe#one day we'd have to quit the pizzaplex job#what then#try not to think abt it too hard#silly little robot#what i'd give to have a pal like that#wyby's drawing again
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maybe i SHOULD just try to get a different job that would be better suited to me
#only i'd feel bad after such a short time because they provided me with a uniform and everything and it's clear that they're short-staffed#at the moment and everyone WAS really nice. it was just that i somehow don't quite jel with the people. and also i don't know if i can#handle being around people for so long at a time. and having to be constantly working and using my initiative to try to find what needs#doing and generally activating the part of my brain that doesn't come naturally to me#and yeah i had another offer for a summer job that i could say yes to. but i think that would burn me out even more bc it's just as much of#being around people only SIX days a week full-time#i just don't know if i'm cut out for being employed in general. but as an adult you sort of have to be because you need money and also just#to do SOMETHING with your life. and i don't want to just become another depressing statistic about the amount of autistic people who don't#work. ugh anyway ignore me i'm just having an existential crisis i guess. maybe i'll feel better tomorrow#emma vents#they should invent jobs that are specifically neurodivergent friendly but i don't think such a thing exists
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god i am having such a conundrum right now i'm quitting my shitty job and trying to decide how best to do it. do i
1) last day this friday. i have an interview thurs and am pretty confident in a 2nd interview next week, so quitting now would free up time to prep for interview and hopefully recoup some sanity before starting a new job. con is that i have one fewer paycheck before may rent is due so i'll have to start using my savings sooner if i end up being unemployed for more than a month
2) last day on the 21st. i have to fuck around with trying to get time off for interviews and probably get written up for attendance, shitty job remains a massive psychic and physical drain that prevents me from job hunting and i would risk having to jump straight into new job without a breather. overall worse for charlie, but i would have a fat paycheck to pay may rent with which would buy me a few more weeks of financial security if it takes longer than anticipated to find a new job.
3) some secret third thing.
#ctxt#every day i get emails#i thought about quitting next friday so i'd get a half paycheck end of the month but that seems like the worst of both worlds#cause i still have to fuck around with the headache of scheduling interviews and getting written up for like. $450 bucks more.#which i could make stretch for a while if i was careful but my god at what cost#i have a lil over 2k in savings plus overdraft so i can survive unemployed for like 2 months as is if necessary#and i'm pretty confident in my ability to get another hopefully better job in that time#i also have a pretty solid social safety net i could get various types of support from if necessary#E volunteered to help with groceries. dad might be able to float me some money for bills and is gonna cover my car insurance for a few mo#housemate is a gig worker who usually gets more client requests than she has time for and offered to share some of her clients with me#just for odd jobs to make quick cash if i'm desperate#so i will be fine either way it's just scawwy#money talk cw
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like it's honestly killing me how i have to ruin my hands to make money to survive, which means I'm decreasing my ability to make art. i'm selling it. also im in chronic pain. Like im not even financially stable i still live with my family and this is the most i can do and it's wrecking my body.
#there's no solution so I hardly talk abt it on here but rn it's really hard#like I want to draw but I'm in a lot of pain and the pain only ever gets worse#I'd need like an upfront investment of thousands of dollars to not only quit my job and get a new one but also get a new desk a new chair#a new tablet and a wrist brace as well as maybe a back brace because my body is so fucked#but yea i spend all day and all night in pain and I have no energy for anything and everyone just thinks I'm lazy
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Friendship cannot mean 'I have constant access to you 24/7', all right? It just can't.
I get being lonely. It sucks. But at some point you need to learn to manage that from time to time. That's part of being a grown up.
There will be times when your friends will be totally down to hang and chat for a long time, and times when they won't, and THAT'S. FINE. You cannot expect constant entertainment from someone like they aren't a real human being with their own worries, and bills, and responsibilities and- sometimes- EVEN A NEED FOR DOWNTIME THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE BEING SOCIAL. The fact that they are not always ready or willing to hang out and text for hours is not an attack on you, and behaving like it is is completely unacceptable.
Healthy friendship involves boundaries, and one of those boundaries is letting your friends have space. If you cannot respect that, then you might need to take some time and ask yourself if you're really all that good a friend.
#personal#read a book today that addressed this and it really struck a chord with me#when i was younger and not as good at enforcing boundaries i ran into this a lot and it. sucks. shit.#like a word of advice? that is the fastest way to kill a friendship because when you refuse to ever leave your friend alone even when#they have asked you too it quits feeling like friendship and it turns into a job.#i stopped looking forward to seeing and hearing from those people. i'd start getting panicky when i saw texts from them like 'what what WHA#CAN YOU POSSIBLY WANT FROM ME THIS TIME I TOLD YOU I'M TIRED I'VE BEEN AT SCHOOL ALL DAY LEAVE ME ALONE-'#it felt like not one single hour of my life was my own#i remember writing an essay in english class about how i didn't want to ever make any more friends because because having to babysit#constantly without ever getting a moment of respite was hard enough as it was- add any more people to be responsible for#and it would kill me. if this was the price of friendship i couldn't pay it. i would rather have been permanently alone.#when i went to college and started making some friends that actually understood and respected 'sometimes when i'm online i don't#want to talk i just want to veg' 'i can't have a long in depth text/discord convo when i'm at work' etc#it blew my mind.#those are the friends you want to keep.
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had the most shower of all time
#have ye ever had an anxiety attack while metro station's shake it loops endlessly in the back of your mind.. 😶#it has passed now but.. man.. what was that 🕴️#the day i quit my job will be one of the happiest days of my life 🧍🏻♀️ idk how much longer i can go on like this but Alao#*Also.. idk how much longer we'll have to go on like this given the changes coming.. they just can't come quickly enough 😭#i really never want to work in customer service again after this. if it were a perfect world I'd never have to sell anything ever again in#my whole life but let's be realistic ✋🏼#sriracha.txt
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Microdosing on having money by looking at virtual tours of apartments I can’t afford
#literally so annoying i won't be able to move out and get my own place for like at least a year give or take#i might finally be working full-time soon though#like currently i'm just working tuesdays and thursdays at my mom's work scanning medical records#but gamestop is having open interviews so i'm gonna go in monday#i don't actually know if gamestop is hiring full-time though#so if they're only hiring part-time i guess i'll just have to work two jobs#like maybe scan records two days a week and do gamestop the other three#so i'd be making money as if i were working full-time#and that'd hold me over for a while at least until i find an actual full-time job#but yeah even then it's gonna be quite a while before i can move out which is annoying#i just want a fucking place to myself#i've also thought about selling some of my old shit that i don't need anymore to make some extra cash on the side#like old dvds and action figures and whatnot that are still in decent condition#i could sell them on ebay or like trade em in at vintage stock or whatever#my mom always insists that we never sell that stuff cause she and dad spent so much money on them when i was a kid#and i get that. but frankly i don't care.#they bought them for me and i'm an adult and can do what i want with them so if i wanna sell em i can#and if they help me get out of here sooner then it's worth it#shut up tristan
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always enjoy having a monday and a tuesday off... but i hate going back to work on a wednesday knowing i'm working every day till sunday... and i'm gonna vent in the tags so... i'm sorry.
#especially now#like#my mental health is NOT good at the moment#i literally cannot cope in this place anymor#i'm mentally drained and i'm seriously considering about quitting#and if i wasn't in need of this job then i'd have gone weeks ago#the only things keeping me there are my boyfriend and my boyfriend's mum#and one of my work besties#apart from that#i'm done with the entire place#hospitality sucks and no one actually tells you how draining it actually is#people can be cunts#and customers are never always right but you can't say anything different because you have to have a positive front#there are so many times i wish i could tell a customer to shut the fuck up because they're rude#so many fucking times#two days is not enough time to chill#i need about two weeks#it sucks ass#i hate it so bad#the people who work the hardest get treated like shit and the people who slack and do nothing get the best treatment possible#explain to me how the fuck that is fair???
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BruceNat Fanfic Roadmap/Updates
I was debating whether to post one of these, then saw @gammacousin do so and decided to follow in their footsteps.
A gigantic thank you to everyone who interacted with my return post, who sent messages, who showed some love to Cracks Filled With Gold and/or old fics. It's really encouraging, and I'm excited to be sharing writing for BruceNat again.
To Be Posted:
Chapter 3/3 of Cracks Filled With Gold
Incubator (AKA Awaiting Edits):
A BruceNat nap drabble
AU BruceNat proposal + death drabble (prompt)
To Be Written:
Gamma radiation side effect fic (old prompt, smut)
Natasha is actually a little self-conscious about her scars (old prompt, smut)
OG6 Avengers organizing a reconciliation for BruceNat (old prompt)
Laura + Nat chat about Natasha's blossoming relationship with Bruce (old prompt)
...The "to be written" queue is quite a bit longer than that, but those are just the first up.
A note on "incubating" fics: I always let drafts sit for at least 2+ weeks before returning my eyes to them. Currently, I'm my only editor, and I find this time away from my own writing helps immensely with the editing process I also come back to my drafts hating them less, because I naturally hate all my writing when I first put it to paper.
A note regarding the recent troll on FF: I doubt anyone's seen this, but just wanted to assure that I've seen this person leaving largely incomprehensible troll reviews on several of my works posted to FF. It's fine (I think it's funny, and I'm also flattered, to be frank). Fics are still coming, this hasn't discouraged me in the slightest. :)
#writing update#brucenat fanfiction#hulkwidow fanfiction#brutasha fanfiction#do people still talk in the tags#or is that socially discouraged now#there's great irony in the fact that this troll continues to post about not understanding my works...without punctuation#without proper grammar#without any significant semblance of sense#poor thing read at least three chapters of mosaics before reviewing#and mosaics is rough don't get me wrong#i'd definitely write it differently now#but i'm like oh sweetie#it IS very hard to understand things when your one brain cell is working overtime#anyway I will get these fics out as fast as I can...which is not very fast#trust me I'd quit my day job to write fic if it paid the same
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