#i write like shit so i make it up with the edits HAHAHAHAHAHA
Note
📍Meanwhile on Maria Ward, Private ICU.
Shrekky has been able to breathe independently for sometime now. She no longer required machine support. However, although she was independently breath, she was not orientated to time. She knew she was in hospital but she didn’t know what day it was or how long she had been like this. And she couldnt speak or open her eyes. All she could do was recognise a few voices from memory and create new memories of people around her too.
Nurse Miche made her cheek warm - he was always nice to her. She wondered what he looked like. Did he have the body to match the voice? Deep and warm and smooth like butter. Shrekky hoped he did. He sounded big and strong and blond, a dirty blond and mama always said that she had good intuition.
It would be a treat if that was the case. Another daddy to lust after, of course. For some people this would embarrass her but Shrekky was only ashamed when was caught in the act but the shame never lasted. She would be back at it in no time. She relished in being doted on and hearing Nurse Miche talk to her about what he was doing for her that day. It was nice. Shrekky screamed in her subconscious whenever he would pamper her and wash her face. Whenever he was on duty he always made sure she had her stuffed donkey on her for comfort. He must’ve been a kind lover. Surely.
Aunt Fia and Uncle Kento made her happy. Aunt Fia was always kind to her and laughed about how dramatic mama was being whilst Uncle Kento always bought her treats and flowers even though he know that she wouldn’t be able to eat the baked goods it was nice to smell them. Nurse Miche and the other nurses was steal some of course! They always smelt so good.
Mama’s voice made her feel all kinds of things - sometimes, Shrekky would roll her eyes in her head when judge mama went off on a rant about finding another piece of horny evidence in her old bedroom. Shrekky would giggle internally when mama read her her favourite stories. Even the naughty ones. They always made her dreams fill up with sunshines and rainbows and lewd noises from memory. It was even funnier when mama would imitate the characters voices and add her own directors cut commentary cussing the author or characters out.
But then sometimes, Shrekky will feel very sad especially when mama was sad. Some days mama would come into the room and only say hello and not say another word for the few hours she spent there. It was often like that. Mama saying nothing.
Mama would say a short greeting, kiss Shrekky’s head before climbing into the bed and laying her head on Shrekky’s chest. When mama was miserable, Shrekky could feel especially on her hospital gown, because out of nowhere Shrekky’s chest would grow cold and damp. She would here sniffles and feel her hands being squeezed. Mama would cry. Shrekky hated that because it made her want to cry too. Despite the fights her and mama used to get into. The bickering. The arguing. The threats of jail. It still hurt. A lot. Almost as much as not hearing from the one person she missed the most.
Step-daddy Erwin.
It has been what felt like forever now since Shrekky heard her step father’s voice. He was always kinder and more patient than mama with Shrekky even if she was a little “weird”. He would often laugh off her comments or innuendos and offer her a headpat or a pinch of her cheeks. But he would never scald her for it like mama did. Step father attended very recital, every theatre performance and sat through every creative writing piece that Shrekky would read to him regardless of how suggestive it was. Step father would just smile and affirm whole heartedly as she sat on his lap. Even when Shrekky was her most apathetic, emotional or low, Erwin always brought her joy whenever he was around.
And for those reasons, not hearing from him left her, Shrekky feeling hollow and cold. What if mama really did kill him? Just like she would joke whenever he annoyed her. What if he finally got fed up with mama and left like her said he would on the TV? What if they finally divorced and moved to the other side of the country. The thoughts plagued her and filled her with dread, but it disappeared the moment she heard his voice as he entered the room.
Shrekky could hear the rustling of bouquet paper and the smell of pollen and perfume, that came with the sound of his footsteps and his rain jacket.
Flowers.
Shrekky chest felt tight and her nose tingled as her tears where stuck in her throat, clawing at her osophegus, desperate to come out. If she could wake up right now l, leap from this bed and bear hug him she would but she couldn’t even force her eyes open and look at him. It broke her heart.
Shrekky could feel a gentle kiss on her forehead and the back of his hand brush at the fine hairs of her head and ears.
“Oh Princess Pea,”
Erwin’s voice was soft, solemn, heavy. He sounded just like mama when she was sad. He sealed it with another peck on Shrekky’s cheek before tracing the grooves of her face.
“Forgive me. I know it’s been too long.” Erwin paused after his voice cracked a little. He couldn’t cry now. He had to be strong for his Shrekky. It was bad enough he punished himself for not visiting his daughter sooner.
He sat there in silence before finding the courage speaking up again.
Erwin cautiously and gently put his hand in his daughters and sat there still, silent. For the first time in weeks, his thoughts quietened. Was this why his wife would would visit? Not just because her daughter was here? But because Shrekky brought peace to both of them? Of course. Even in the face of uncertainty, Shrekky is and always was the constant, even in her chaos.
Erwin couldn’t help but relax and be present for once. He enjoyed the ambience here. The near silence. He enjoyed his daughters hand. Just like he used to when she was no taller than his knee and take her out on their “adventures” to the park or school or the store. Memory Lane was sweet here.
Without knowing, Erwin was saying the words he couldn’t say out loud to Shrekky and with all her strength, she squeezed her stepfathers hand for a few seconds before letting go again. It took all the strength she had then but he needed more that she did. He needed the courage to continue.
Erwin gasped and his eyes widened in shock. Was that a reflex? Could she hear him? He took her hand in both of his and placed them on his lips and kissed and murmured wishes against the back of her hand.
“Thank you.” was all Erwin could chant from his lips, tears coating his lashes. 💔
Bsjqksjwowowk this is so touching huhu my emotions are stirred 😭 i kept reading it again and again and i am so moved that i want Shrekky to wake up now fr hahahaha im sorry mother kabal if i am messing your timeline hahaha this really ain't much, just something to get shrekky to wake up asap hahahahahah also i cant wait to do things to miche nyehheeheh
*somewhere in Bermuda
It's been months since the tragedy has befallen to Don Shrekscobar's daughter but to this very day there still has been no satisfying news with little Shrekky's recovery. His ex-wife, Clare informed him that his daughter was no longer on life support. This is good news, but it's not enough. The more days she remains unconscious, the more he worries. Day by day he grew more restless, agitated, troubled. He's often seen sitting on the swing in the prison's yard. His face filled with distress as he holds close a picture frame that bears the face of someone he holds dear.
Oh how he misses his daughter terribly, he can break out easily if he wanted to but he doesn't want to give more trouble to his ex-wife who's already been stressed enough and he doesn't want to disgrace the name of his daughter if news came out that a high profiled inmate who happens to be her father, broke out of prison. So he stayed there, he stayed inside the prison walls of Bermuda and wallowed in misery and anguish.
'Mi vida', he sobbed 'If only I was there. I could've protected you. I'm sorry my baby. You're the most precious thing to me. You're... my precious...
My...precious'
And Don Shrekscobar remembered. He remembered someone from a long time ago. Someone who was dear to him. Someone who he used to love. Someone who gave him his precious little Shrekky. He mustered all his strength to get up and decided to make a call.
All the worry in Don Shrekscobar's eyes has now been lifted. His face of grief is now replaced with that of a smug smirk.
Don Shrekscobar is a man of tenacity. He has never allowed himself to become a victim of all the shits life has thrown at him. He's in prison because he's a criminal, yes, but its also because its what he wanted. He does what he wants and life bends at his will. He felt pathetic for feeling down for months. He has not been his usual self he admits. But now he's back. And he's certain that his precious little Shrekky will soon be up and about.
*after a few days
The doorbell of Judge Clare's mansion rang and upon opening the door he was met with a delivery man. Due to the incident that happened in the past, Mrs.Smith has now become very cautious. He asked the deliveryman for his ID and all the necessary informations a person with such a profession should know. And thankfully he all gave a satisfactory answer. She was ready to pull a chokeslam on him in case the worse comes to worst. Judge Clare accepted the delivery and she got inside her house. For extra pre-caution, she installed a scanner for deliveries. Upon scanning the box, she recognized an oddly, suspiciously shaped product but the scanner didn't deem it harmful. So she put it on the table to open it.
While reading where the box came from, her eyes widened. She's heard of this name before. A name that was a taboo back when she was still with Shrekscobar. She's been gone for years, unheard of, why now did she have to appear in their lives again? Clare became more curious and hastily opened the box. What it contained, shocked her to the core.
Judge Clare was appalled. What is this unholy thing that claims to be holy? And beside it was an envelope that may contain the answer to her questions. So she opened it. Inside was a letter and a polaroid picture. She grabbed the letter first and unfolded it. The letter explained what the oddly and suspiciously shaped thing inside the box was. It was as it says, a HOEly Water, a kind of water that can only be seen deep in the tunnels of the Misty Mountains, a place where the HOEliest of Hornies have gathered and created a civilization of their own. And that explained why she left, she was too horny to stay.
The HOEly Water is known for its healing properties, some would say that this water is the most miraculous thing to ever happen next to Jesus turning water into wine. But this is very rare because most people wouldn't dare venture the land of the hornies because most of those who tried, never returned.
But such tale is not of any importance now, if this indeed has inexplicable healing properties then she has to get this to the hospital fast. She hurriedly put the letter back inside the envelope which caused the polaroid to accidentally fall. Clare picked it up and saw a portrait that warmed her heart.
Smeagal maybe Shrekky's estranged birth mother. But the fact that she sent her something that may lead to Shrekky's quick recovery means that she still cared. And with the power of two mothers' love, Clare is certain, in no time Shrekky will regain her strength and finally wake up.
#HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SHEHEJEJEOWKEJSOWKSJSIEOSKD#i have no idea what i just wrote 😭💀#i have been having smeagol brainrot lately lmao HAHAHHAHAH#welp its the multiverse of madness#HAHAHAHAHAHA#i write like shit so i make it up with the edits HAHAHAHAHAHA#lawd have mercy 😂😂😂#kabal#the kabalians#kabal saga#kabal kronicles#kabal multiverse of madness
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So. I am leaving my fic's big ass infodump here because A) having it in the comments is ugly and B) I am too busy and tired to try to make it hmtl pretty on the author notes or whatever. Plus, AO3’s character limit is ass.
Here's the fic: Tha koimithó ótan petháno.
Funnies
Akire: I trust that mister Delamer and mister Maitsu are doing well together :)
Damon: *screaming, traumatized*
Jean: *screaming, also traumatized*
Damon: Why tf are you calling me a kid I am 18
Jean:
Jean: I thought you were like 16
Jean: I am worried about you.
Damon: Hahaha.
Damon: Oh you're not joking?
Damon: HAHAHahaHAhA—
Scrapped content
In chapter 2 I forgot to add that Jean notices signs of Petechiae (Red dots on the skin/cheeks, usually present after crying) on Damon's face, which he points out in the narration and mentally ponders "maybe he is not holding on as well as we thought." I don't fucking KNOW how I did not add it because I remember writing it into the doc but I guess I accidentally deleted it???? What-fucking-ever man I am too tired to rewrite that scene. Also, this chapter would not work as well if Jean was a lot more aware about how badly Damon was holding on. Sooo, yeah. Good forethought past me question mark.
(Jean knows general medical stuff because of his job / he binge read about it after the Edward thing to avoid any other crewmates being ill / hurt. Kind of comes out of left field in this chapter sorry lol I kind of gave up mid-fic so the quality is kind of bad)
In the titanic argument I was planning for Damon to respond “The debate was so bad I regret doing it sober,” or something of the sort. To which Jean asks Holy Shit You Drink ? Ended up scrapped because Damon, even while sleep deprived, is way too secretive about his abuse personal life for his own good. Besides, the scene was getting too long.
Also, yes, he does drink (/hc). Not by own volition most of the time, but he does. Legal drinking age? What is that? The Maitsu family never heard of it. (Wolfgang would have a stroke if he knew nobody tell him)
I actually planned a bit where, when Damon bandages Jean's wound (it was planned to happen on the bed and not the floor btw), Jean explains the items™ to Damon after he points out the first aid kit being the debater's and Damon looks at the ship captain like he grew a third head. Hence, explanation.
It felt too forced and I ended up removing it. You probably can figure it out with the context I left (I HOPE), but here is the explanation just in case:
(This idea was based on a fic by the lovely Insqmniac. I don't remember the name rn, sorry ;; EDIT: Acting and Pretending!!! They deleted the work but it was very good!) Tozu left an item for all the killing game participants with deep emotional and / or medical significance in their room’s nightstands. Be it a family memento, a candy brand you liked as a kid, a perfume that isn't sold anymore, prescription pills or eye contacts: That kind of stuff. It is like an intimidation tactic or something??? Something to scare the participants with bcs of the amount of information they have about their personal lives. Or something. I don't know man, it is 4 pm I have not slept in like 30 hours I have reached a new plane of existence. It just sounds so creepy and it is definitely something Tozu would do. Maybe. I already had the canon divergence tag so might as well utilize it in a angst way while at it /shrug
Jean received Edward’s marine dog tag, Damon received a first aid kit (and he's the only person in the killing game that has first aid equipment, fun). You can probably imagine why Jean reacted like that to seeing Damon’s item and his subsequent realization. Let's just say that Maitsudad was not kind.
I had a very lovely idea very late into this fic of playing on the concept of Dragons and snakes being very similar (in mythology/religion, anyways) but I couldn't figure out a way to include it organically in this fic (considering that the themes/metaphors of the fic were already too wonk as is) so I MIGHT get another Jean & Damon fic just to get that symbolism out of my head???
Not likely. I feel horrible about my poor characterization of the dude in this fic already.
I butchered Jean's characterization so bad I made salami with it,,,
In the Damon panic attack from Jean’s POV, I had to scrap a small line where Jean notes that some of the nonsense Damon is spewing in his panic is actually Spanish. Another hc of mine, personally Damon looks like the kind of guy to throw Hispanic slang and insult all your family lineage in one breath (and yes I am biased because I am Hispanic how could you tell. But no, he is not Hispanic, it is actually kind of complicated to explain). I will probably delve into that hc and my general mental illness about the backstory I made up for the guy (yes I am very normal about Damon shut up) in another fic I have planned.
I had to scrap so many Damon lines y'all. He is just. So easy to write. This dude is like depressed 14 year old me trying to seem edgy and pretentious istg.
Info dumping
I don't think I am doing a fic of Jean alone to actually write this down so, here, have the whole Edward situation and my delusions about it: basically, back when Jean was just becoming a ship captain by himself (he probably started as a cadet/assistant of one of his relatives, who was the ship captain themselves. Jean then took the job from them later down the line, idk) at age 18ish, there was this regular crew he had. One of the people in said crew was Edward, an asshole with self-worth issues who made it everyone else's problem.
On one departure, they get news of a big-ass storm happening, and they are very much stuck in the middle of the sea trying to just survive it(tm). Luckily it was a cargo ship so the only people they had to look for were themselves, but still.
Edward decides to be the main man on everything to prove his worth, that he means something to the crew, that his life has meaning. Everyone was kind of ignoring Edward's self destructive behavior (not their issue, they said). Jean in turn decided to try to do something about it, so new into the position and wanting the best for his crew, so he went to talk to Edward so he hopefully realizes he is being a moron and stops playing the martyr.
Edward, as you can tell by this fic, does not heed Jean’s pleas to take care of himself and decides to spitefully double down on his self-destructiveness so hard he fell ass backwards and killed himself due to sleep deprivation and starvation the fucking idiot.
(His crew, who were in their late 20s to mid 50s and had already seen some shit™, took care of the corpse themselves. They didn't want Jean, as young as he was, to see the body. He saw it anyways, if only on passing. Which is also the reason why he was more inclined to believe Eva when seeing the dummy, but details)
Jean blames himself over pushing Edward “too hard” and causing his death. (While at the same time he feels like he could have done MORE to avoid his death back then, ain't guilt fun?) That's why he fears pushing Damon too much until there's nothing he can do but twist the debater's arm into actually resting after days of watching the younger consistently get worse. And, welp, we know how that ends.
At least he tried tho. 乁( •_• )ㄏ
Another thing. Was the buddy system actually chosen at random or was Damon right about it being rigged?
... Who knows! Lol
Logically speaking I think it would make more sense for it to either be rigged in the random pairings to get the most optimal-ish outcome (List of pairings in chapter 1 AAA), or like Akire actually bullshitted the random bit to try to get Damon to cooperate. But in the other hand it would be too fucking funny if it was actually made at random and Damon is just being unnecessarily hostile and antagonizing for no reason. So, I wrote it to be ambiguous! probably!! Go have your own interpretation idk!!
Other miscellaneous notes
Eva had the exact same "You are doing this to keep tabs on us" train of thought as Damon, but unlike the debater she decided to cooperate on the plan without whining about it. She and Ingrid have an amazing time playing Dos in their dorm.
Desmond is having a shit time because he wants to help Ulysses have a, at least, decent sleep schedule since they are partners. They have a similar ish arc to Damon and Jean funnily enough, except all the trauma and accidental PTSD triggering.
The Titanic bit is actually a thing that happened. A dude legit predicted the Titanic it is bonkers (I learned this thanks to 999 and thought it would be funny to add it because sleep deprived Damon likes to info dump (yes I am neurodivergent how could you tell) and Jean is the fucking Ultimate Ship Captain what better chance can you get?). Also yes ships back then were bonkers it is hilarious.
When Jean returns with food after this fic him and Damon sit down to explain to the latter all the things he missed in the class meetings so Damon is not running with fake facts again (and hopefully avoid other panic attacks about it in the future). They are forced to communicate about being partners and while they are both still very emotionally stunted because of their respective traumas they at least have a semi-honest conversation for once. Mostly because Damon is too tired and worn-down to be antagonistic.
The roommate system prooobably gets ruled out at the week two and a half(?) by a very frustrated Tozu, but by then he will need a very strong/kill or die motive to actually get a crack on the partner system itself (which is too broad a concept for him to actually rule out the game entirely).
(Realistically speaking he probably would deny the system from happening as quickly as it was brought up because he would notice it as a liability to his killing game plan, but then again. This is fic. I like my Tozu very stupid in fic)
Damon slowly starts reintegrating back into the group when he feels less like "Hi I just had 4 panic attacks in a week what is life at this point." Jean personally helps him in it.
Damon doesn't exactly remember what happened when he was triggered (bcs I hc him to forget trauma to cope, only vaguely remembering things when triggered / having intrusive thoughts). He remembers stabbing Jean because of a "overreaction" on his part and that's pretty much it. He feels like garbage about it but doesn't know how to apologize.
Thankfully, the wound was very minimal so nobody really noticed it after the bleeding stopped and Jean removed the bandages. It is their shared secret that nobody shall know about.
After chapter 1 Damon has a 10 minute panic attack, call himself cringe for it, and forces himself to go for the futon. You could hear him cursing out to all the gods throughout the living quarters. Like La Llorona but it is a dude swearing instead.
Jean brings Damon food. From things like granola bars to small portions of meals (to avoid any accidental refeeding syndrome), every time Jean goes out, he brings Damon something to eat. The others question it at first but Jean only gives vague explanations so they give up (they know, somewhat. But it is not their business so they don't push about it).
Damon has never had anyone offer comfort or food without a catch to it so he is very confused to the whole ordeal but too tired to actually complain (he still compulsively checks everything, afraid of poison, despite never being any).
after a bit he actually somewhat warms up to the ship captain !! Yaaay Damon getting comfort !!!! Finally !!!!!
Writing this my entire thought process of Damon's characterization was "abused stray cat that hisses / scratches you but all it wants is love and a stable living environment and once it has it and gets used to it, it is actually very cuddly." That's just him in a nutshell. Just add some asshole pretentious vibes into the mix & you're done
I made Edward up very late (writing session 8 out of 10) into chapter 2 because I needed a reason as to why Jean would physically force Damon to sleep. When I said the man is a plot device I meant it lol
Tozu had a Live Tozu Reaction to Jean's and Damon's fight thinking that fINAlLY SOMEONE IS DYING.. And then nobody did. Oop.
AND THEN Jean gets killed and Damon suffers horribly /jkjk
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Hi I have an odd question I’ve recently decided to get back into my old personal Viggo lives comic: “Beyond the Horizon” after seeing/reading other’s rtte art, theories, fics, and head canons on it (tbh your VLAU fic was definitely the kicker that made me want to get back into my comic) but I don’t want to seem like I’m copying or stealing ideas so I was wondering if you had any alternate names for Viggo’s Skrill (also some writing tips would be very helpful since I’m very rusty ;-;)
i mean
this is how i named viggo's skrill to begin with. just a random fucking chapter of a fic i started in early 2022 and abandoned until recently. i justified my choice of name because this bitch from black butler is also called beast and i think she's hot
in VLAU that story viggo referenced liking as a child about the boy with the magic eye was a reference to black butler i shit you not. i don't even like black butler anymore i haven't watched it in years and don't plan on watching it again any time soon.
i find using the Wings of Fire format of names really helps when naming dragons. lets look at the character names in WoF: Clay, Sunny, Starflight, Tsunami, Glory, Moonwatcher, Kinkajou, Deathbringer, Winter, Peril, Quibli and Turtle are some of the significant ones. go for something weather/sky/space themed for a skrill. just like that. combine weirder shit for the viking feel like hookfang or stormfly. but then you've also got like skullcrusher and cloudjumper so it's good. and then just words like barf, belch, toothless and grump so that works. steal the name Thunder from NR out of spite.
you can also search for old norse words that we're aware of and just find one that sounds like a name with a nice meaning if you want to be fancy and preppy.
another way i like to do it is steal species names from the httyd books like i'll just open up my copy of the incomplete book of dragons until i find something nice like... stickyworm? no... vorpent? no... toxic nightshade... NIGHTSHADE that would be a good name for a skrill you can use that if you want. doomfang seems like more of a dagur name than a viggo name but thats still a bangin skrill name.
and uhhh writing tips uhhhhh. i mean i don't got nothing tbh. be as self indulgent as you want. not everything has to live up to the standards of Scholars Mate and Choosing to Forget not everything has to be that good. my VLAU is genuinely just 17+(?) chapters of fluff and angst and vigcup being adorable and its just me projecting a bunch of my stupid little OOC headcanons onto my stupid little adhd blorbos. my other fics were either me being angsty, me listening a little too much to the httyd soundtrack, me just fucking daydreaming about random shit, or me going HAHAHAHAHAHA LETS MAKE VIGGO'S LIFE A LIVING HEL. i find inspiration from the most random shit. i took a bath once and when i hopped in my cold little toes burned like fire in the hot water and then i tried this coconut shampoo and now i have an entire WIP based on that one experience. there's no fancy thought or writing process behind it there's no "first drafts" (probably cuz i edit as i go lmao) there's no immaculate planning every little detail of the fic. it's just little magpie me going "oh shiny oh shiny oh shiny oh shiny" and then making a mosaic out of all the shitty pieces of glass i've found and somehow a couple people find the mosaic pretty so i am proud because i worked hard on it. and lemme tell you, writing self indulgent fanfiction where im not trying to please anyone except myself is so much fun like i've literally written about viggo being the twin's cousin and i literally made viggo a soft poetry boi and its just fun. i know some people aren't into that or aren't interested and thats fine they don t have to read it. write for yourself you don't even have to be good at it just do it who cares. thats the best advice i can give. just do whatever the fuck you fucking want
#feel free to use nightshade lol#answered asks#race to the edge#the skrill#viggo's skrill#viggo grimborn#viggo lives au
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Hello! and PSA
*waves* hi everyone! so uh, I’ve kind of had a bit of a surge in followers recently, and I thought I would make a bit of a PSA/intro post with a bit more targeted info than my about page.
anyways, I’m cyan! statistically speaking, you are probably here for one of the following reasons:
my fic
my meta
my gifs
my translation
all of the above
this is pretty much an mdzs blog on main these days, but I also rb a lot of other misc things because I have never been good at keeping my interests separate. it’s also my personal blog, so expect some of that? i am very all or nothing ahaha. my opinions change very quickly as I process new information, so like, something I said last week or yesterday might be different now! I’ve seen several people going through some of my older posts, and I’m just like oh dear, I said a lot of things six months ago that I no longer vibe with. /o\ please keep that in mind as you go diving in my blog!
i don’t have a BYF or DNI policy, but I reserve the right to block anyone for any reason because this is a personal blog first and foremost, and I do need to be better about setting my boundaries and curating my own online space! on that same token, you are free to follow, unfollow, block, whatever, even if we’re mutuals. <3
you’re free to come talk to me in my inbox or dms, but please be aware that there’s a very high chance I will never get back to you /o\ it isn’t personal!! I am just very mentally ill and have many difficulties with keeping up social interactions or talking to people.
in the interest of trying to be more open about myself, my brain, and what that means for me in an online/fandom space, I’m gonna do a boatload of mental health talk under the cut (or, if you’re looking at this on my blog proper or somewhere where the cut doesn’t display, it starts right after this paragraph), including mentions of self-harm/thoughts of specific self-harm etc, just so you are warned! I’ve been thinking recently that it’s good to try and take steps towards being more open about my issues, both for my own sake and others’. It’s long, because one of the fun things about my mental illness is that I am hyperverbal ahahaha (if that... wasn’t already obvious orz)
so if you’ve read pfmmpd, you can kind of get a sense of what I’m working with. a lot of how i wrote lwj was drawn directly from shit happening in my own brain, but like? dial that up from the specific issues that lwj had in that fic and apply it unilaterally across the board to almost anything you can think of.
I hesitate to describe my OCD as debilitating, but only because my specific cocktail of compulsions and anxieties and triggers push me to be hyperachieving and hyperfunctional. I consider myself pretty fortunate (?) in that regard. on paper, you could never tell how absolutely batshit my internal landscape is! which is very good for me practically in that I can hold down a job, keep scholarships, graduate with honors, have good prospects for my future, hold onto relationships (usually yikes) etc. but the fact of the matter is, I’m like. oh boy.
to give you a peek, here’s a non-exhaustive list of things that have triggered me to varying degrees of severity within the last like, week or so:
my dog
a chinese folk song
my mother reading a chinese haiku to me written by a young gay man
a chinese reader of my fic lovingly and gently giving me a history lesson on china and on mdzs while praising me
stepping on a piece of snow that didn’t collapse in the precise way i expected it to
writing meta
reading meta
ruminating on my triggers (honestly, I played myself)
seeing a twitter thread going around tumblr with decent information but the OP is someone who was exceedingly cruel to a good friend of mine
visiting my grandmother’s grave
deciding to visit my grandmother’s grave
discussing the concept of cuddling my partner whom i love and have been with for four years
self-harming (truly the height of irony, being triggered into self-harm and then getting triggered by the result of the self-harm hahahahahaha)
dropping off a package
trying to explain queer-coding to my parents
talking about stressors in my life related to covid19
having a very pleasant conversation with a person i admire
editing my translation
the fact that the “close” button on my accessibility sidebar on the translation website is the wrong color
choosing between eating all the shiitake mushrooms in my soup and purposefully giving myself a bad reaction or throwing one out and wasting food
thinking about playing a fun game with my partner and a mutual friend
my mom asking me to take a photo of some tea for her
my mom asking my opinion on a photo she was photoshopping
animal crossing
writing this fucking post HAHAHAHA
like!! it goes on!! endlessly! obviously, these triggers are not simply “bad” things. the chinese folk song and the haiku were both really beautiful and i love them! but I did spend a good amount of time curled up on my floor in the dark sobbing as i played the song on repeat. the haiku was one of the last straws that ended up with me screaming and crying and hurting myself. the snow??? like wtf the snow thing. I stepped on the snow and it felt wrong and my brain just started screaming SMASH YOUR KNEECAP. ???? (I didn’t, for the record, and I would never.) I love my partner very much! I love my friends very much, and my mother, and my grandmother etc. my triggers are infinite, unpredictable, and bizarre.
I’m saying all of this because I want to be clear that MDZS/CQL fandom specifically triggers me on a daily basis, sometimes very very badly. this is just a fact! it is no one’s fault! I have decided it is worth it for me to stay anyways. it is impossible for me to request people tag for certain things because I myself have no idea what my triggers are until I encounter them. It’s like a fun mystery boss encounter! sometimes it’s low level and i’m well-equipped to handle it. other times it’s a one-hit KO. We just don’t know! there are lots of very cool content creators in this fandom that I can’t follow because it would make my dash that much more high stakes. the original source canon material triggers me! all the events leading up to Lotus Cove massacre? I was shaking at work for three hours after consuming it for the first time.
Meta specifically is something I know a lot of people like me for, but it’s 100% the most triggering activity I participate in for this fandom. like, that suibian meta post I wrote that’s currently going around? Probably took me four or five hours of concentrated effort to write because I was compulsively panicking and rewriting and editing and panicking more and qualifying and editing and qualifying some more and then debating whether I should post it or not and then fighting with myself about my wording and then immediately regretting it and then every time someone commented on it (regardless of positive or negative!) my anxiety spiked. I started a reply to a response on that post and had to stop after a few minutes because I was already starting to trigger myself over it.
this is actually a pretty good outcome when it comes to meta! I recognized that I was hurting myself before I got any further, and I only spent like, five hours on it! it was good exposure therapy for me! the bad outcome is. well. bad, as you might imagine lmao.
I like writing meta. I like talking to people about it too! I like participating in fandom, I like writing, I like translating, I like all of these things. they’re just also really hard for me! there’s a couple meta requests sitting in my inbox right now that I want to get to, but it might take me like. a long time because of. you know! *gestures* Everything takes me a long time. that first chapter of the translation took me literally five months from beginning the project to posting a final edited version. It’s just over 1k words. D8
I try really hard to be chill and kind in public and I largely think I succeed on the kind part (I hope!). If you thought I had even an ounce of chill before this, perhaps I have disabused of that notion entirely now lmao. I’m not saying this for pity, but like? just so we all know what we’re dealing with here. I don’t want anyone to get hurt when I don’t engage with them or feel snubbed if I never reply to them. and also like, hey, if someone relates it’s like hooray, high fave, solidarity! we’re not alone in this world! or maybe this will help someone understand OCD a little better! I don’t know. I hope this post is a positive thing. BUT! I’ve spent three hours on it already, and i’m definitely starting to compulsively spiral, so instead of going back and editing it over and over, I’m just going to post it. thank you everyone for your understanding! I hope you enjoy your time on my blog! (*´▽`*)
#/#//#///#////#/////#personal#psa#cyan gets too deep in the weeds#HA HA HA.#can't believe i'm using that tag on a personal post except like. of course i am#hello everyone are you ready for some cyan dlc?#well you're getting it#im anxious about this thing because i'm anxious about everything but!#we are doing exposure therapy this year!!#even if the world is burning down around us i can still try to confront my problems!!!#about
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S͏̛͘a̢͠y ͢͢G̵̡̛o̵͟o̴d̢҉B̸y͏̢͡e
TW: Creepy Pasta from the beginning of the fanfic, mention of murder, mention of blood, mention of possession, mention of hauntings, being haunted, stabbing, mention of and/or viewer of suicide like action, Zalgo Text, AntiSepticeye.
Summary: A fan put together compilation of AntiSepticeye from the beginning all the way to his debut on “Say Goodbye” on Chase Brody’s Channel Bro Average! Enjoy!
Links at the end of the one shot!
I've been lying down for hours now. It's 5:35 AM and there's not much I can do. You know what the worst part about my situation is? I'm in the same room with my parents. They keep looking at me, and I can't help but look back and try not to cry or scream. Their eyes are focused on me and their mouths are wide open. There's the strong scent of blood and I feel so paralyzed with fear.
Here's the thing. The second I make any hint that I'm not asleep anymore. I'm completely fucked. I will die and there's nobody around to save me. I've been trying to think of a way out but the only idea I have is to rush for the door and run outside to scream for help. Hoping that any my neighbors will hear me. It's risky. But if I stay here. I will surely die. He's waiting for me to wake up and see his "masterpiece."
You're probably wondering what's going on. I do get ahead of myself sometimes.
About three hours ago, I heard screaming from the other side of the house. I got up and went to check on the noise before realizing I had to use the bathroom. Instead of doing the smart thing and investigating. I used the bathroom first. I could've gotten myself killed right then from my stupid actions. But I actually did my business and took a peek outside the bathroom door. There was blood on the carpet. I got very scared and ran back to my room. Just hiding under the sheets like the pussy that I was. I tried to convince myself to go back to sleep. That it was just some really vivid nightmare or something like that.
But I heard my bedroom door open. Like the terrified child I was. I peeked from under my blankets to see what was going on. I could see something dragging my dead parents into the room. It wasn't human for what I could make out. It was hairless, with no eyes and no clothing. It walked like a caveman, with its back slouched as it dragged my parents. But this thing was much smarter than any caveman. It was aware of what it was doing.
It propped my Dad up on the edge of my bed, and made him face me. It then sat my Mother down in the chair and positioned her towards me as well. It started rubbing its hands upon the walls. Staining them with blood and then drew a circle with the devil's pentagram in it. This thing had made what it would probably call a "masterpiece." To finish it off. It scribbled a message onto the wall that I could not read in the darkness.
It then positioned itself under my bed, waiting to strike. Waiting for me to make move that I'm awake.
The scariest thing? Is now, that my eyes have adjusted to the darkness and I can actually read the message on the wall. I don't want to look at it, because it's terrifying to think about. But I feel I need to see, before I'm killed.
So, I peek at the creature's masterpiece.
"I know you're awake."
=========================================================
And now, YouTube Comments with Chase Brody
Malecifent Smith: "Show us the dead bodies you hide behind the current."
Chase smiles and grabs the mic. In a very terrifying voice, "You're not allowed to see the dead bodies. No one's allowed to see the dead bodies."
MrPunshierforlife: "Chase do like to eat orphans?"
Chase gets close to his mic and the same terrifying voice, "Only the really young ones. Heeheeheehahahahaha!"
Abbandoneer: "After seeing a healthy dose of your crazy videos. I've decided to describe."
"Awesome! Good job dude!" Chase gets closer to his mic and deepens his voice. "Welcome to the dark side." Chase leaves and then comes back with a bowl of ice cream. "We have cookies and ice cream!"
Bubblefreak: "Want to know how to build up suspense."
Chase looks to the side and slowly turns toward the camera with an evil grin. Editing it so that creepy music and lights were in the scene. "Hahahaha!" In a high pitched laugh. "Gotcha! Yeah, that was cheap jump scare." Chase softly chuckles.
Nyym90: "Chase? What is your worst nightmare?"
"Honestly. My worst nightmare is, well a long time ago when I first got the internet. My friends and I decided to look up some B Rated horror movies. I don't remember the name of the movie. But there was this one movie where the guy in the movie was being haunted. No one believed him. They all thought that it was just stress or that he was finally losing his mind. He went to see a professional. And it kept getting worse.
By the end of the movie like a camera or something turned on. Filming him. And all he was doing was carving pumpkins for Halloween. The camera glitched and then he put the knife to his throat and slit it. And then demon took over.
To me, that is my absolute worst fear. Just something happening you know something is happening and absolutely no one is believing you and then you have like, no control over the situation. Then something like getting stabbed or something like that. Yeah."
Chase then shudders on camera. He just got a cold chill, going down his spine.
NerdShroom: "Dear, BroAverage. Why do you call yourself Chase when your real name is Sean?"
"It's because we have split personalities."
"No, we don't!"
"Yes, we do!"
"No, we don't!"
"Yes, we do!"
"Shut up and quit telling them that!"
Staring back at the camera with a very serious look. "You try getting some damn sleep with that going on inside your own head!"
Orfeas Molonis: "Who's Sean?"
"Just some crazy guy I keep locked in the basement." Chase turns to the side with no one there. "Get back in the basement!" Turns back to the camera. "I don't even have a basement. Hahahahahaha!" Does the Anti like laugh at the end.
=======================================================
(Halloween)
Wapoosh!
"Top of the mornin' to ya laddies! My name is Chase Brody and welcome to Carving Pumpkins! I think it's a cool tradition to do one every year. But yeah, Happy Halloween! Happy Birthday to the pumpkins! I got a bigger pumpkin this year. Last year got a little one and it was really hard to make a face on it. So, I got a bigger one. And as you can see." Chase made a gesture with his arms of his surroundings.
"That I'm doing this in my room. Last year I did in my kitchen and it just sounded awful down there. So, I brought the table up here. I have no idea what I'm going to do for this design. Probably something simple. But I'm excited! I love doing these seasonal videos. Um, okay I'm going to need a marker of some kind."
Looking around Chase spots a marker he can use on his whiteboard that he used to write HAPPY HALLOWEEN! He quickly brings it over the table. "Okay, now I need to start drawing a face on this guy. Oh, Happy Halloween! Did I say at the start? Probably."
Chase starts drawing a face on the pumpkin giving a bit of commentary as he went. Then quickly grabs a wipe, and wipes off the eyes and redoes them. Then he shows his template to the camera with a huge smile on his face.
"Also you need a bag." Chase goes over and grabs a bright green bag from his left side. "To put all shit into. No! Don't throw yourself into it! I know you think you might be a piece of shit but you're not! You're beautiful!"
Then he picks up the two knives that he has on the table. "I got two knives here. Biggie and smally." Then continues to attempt an Australian accent. "That's not a knife this is a knife!"
Chase takes the bigger of the two knives and is about to cut into the top of the pumpkin. "Right this is going to get really dangerous."
H͟͞͠è̡͢͡͞e̵͜͢͝h̶̵̛e̸̡̛̕e̸̴͢ḩ̴͢é̷e̢͡h̸̛̀͢e̡͠͝é͏͘͢h̵̨̧̨e͘͜e̡͝͡!̵͟͜
"What the fuck was that?" Chase wondered confused. He gets up and out of camera view goes to check it out. "Hello?"
The camera glitches and then it's nothing but black and green static and Anti makes a brief appearance on the right side of the camera. Where Chase grabbed the green bag from earlier.
Chase comes back and sits down. "That was weird. No one was there. Alright," Chase grabs a hold of the bigger knife and prepares to carve into the pumpkin.
"What you want gonna do is cut into. I'm sorry buddy. I'm going to have give you a name. Um, Gerald! I'm sorry Gerald. But what you want gonna do is cut into the top of Gerald's head. Oh god! This is very dangerous. Do not use a knife like this at home unless you're a trained professional." Chase stated holding the knife like he's about to stab something. "So, technically, I shouldn't be either. Just be very careful when you're doing this though."
Chase continues to cut around the top of Gerald's head until there's a nice pop sound. "You hear that? You want a nice pop sound when it comes off. That's how you know that you did it right. A smell that. Ah, it stinks! Well, of course, it stinks Chase! You have fully opened pumpkin in your room!" Chase grabs the bag and scraps and cuts off the end pieces of the top into the trash bag and then puts the lid back on the table.
"Oooh, the smell of this isn't making me feel well," Chase started putting a hand to his stomach. The camera glitched again, and when it came back to normal. "Oh, my god! My nose is bleeding!" Chase quickly left the room to fix his nosebleed. The camera glitched again and Anti makes another appearance but this time right where Chase once sat. Then disappeared.
Chase comes back into the room double checking that his nose is fine. "That was weird. I've never gotten random nose bleeds like that before. It seems to stop now. What a coincidental time of that happening on Halloween." Chase just laughs it off mostly trying to defuse the situation for his viewers at home.
"Okay now, where did I put that spoon?" Looking around Chase finds the spoon he's looking for on the floor and picks it up.
"Okay, now what you will need to do is, scoop up all the insides of the pumpkin. You're going to have to scrape and scrape until your arm gets raw. Can you hear that?" The camera mic picks up the scraping of the inside of the pumpkin. "I don't know if you can hear that. This the part about carving pumpkins that I hate. There's so much cleaning! I hate cleaning!" Chase continues to do this for a few more minutes. "Ah, now me arm’s getting tired. It looks even nastier!" Hold the pumpkin up for the camera to see the inside.
The camera glitches for a minute showing his shadow on the bedroom door and then disappears. "Oh god. Now, my eye is twitching." Chase says while grabbing his green trash bag. "Okay, um? How am I going to do this? I have not thought any of this through. Okay yeah, that's going to look good for the viewers. Looks like I'm doing my own pumpkin." Chase puts the bag into between his legs and turns Gerald over in his lap and starts shaking him up and down.
Chase then puts Gerald back on the table and scoops out the rest of the insides.
"So, there we go, pumpkins all c̕ļean͠ed o̧ut͟. So now that he's all cleaned out we're going to cut out his eyeball holes. So, I'm going to use the smaller knife." Showing the knife to the camera. "Because it's more interact. But be careful, I can cut ch'ya! So, please be careful."
Chase starts to go to cut the first eye hole out. "Don't be scared now Gerald. What did I tell ya before? It's like getting a hacksaw to your face!" Sad music starts to play. "I'm sorry buddy. I didn't mean to go overboard. But you know how I get around sharp objects. It's hard to turn the knife."
Chase struggles in trying to get the knife to cooperate. "Alright, I think it's coming along." Then the eye fell out onto the table. "And just like his eyeball came out." Chase then puts the eye part in the trash bag and goes to do the same with the other one.
"Stop resisting Gerald! It's time t͘o̶̡ ̸̀d͟͞͞i͘e̷!̶̡" The camera glitched there. "Why did I called you Gerald? Shoulda called you something like Pete. Pete the pumpkin. But no I like Gerald." When Chase finished cutting the eye, he pretends to sneeze and pokes the eye out the pumpkin. "Two eyes out!" Chase puts the other eye in the bag. Then sounds of stomping around his apartment started.
"I swear to god I'm hearing something." Chase goes up and checks out what could be making all that noise. The camera glitches again, and Anti makes another appearance this time much more solid and little longer as well. He seems to be showing us something. His eyes were completely blacked out.
Chase comes back after a few minutes.
"Maybe it's just the neighbors' kids I'm hearing. Sounds like stomping or banging. Maybe I'm just being paranoid because it's Halloween." Chase then goes to look for the spoon so he can continue to get Gerald ready for tonight. "Make sure you get all the stringy stuff behind the eyes because you don't want any danglers. You don't want him to look all rotten and decayed. If you want that just leave outside on the porch for a few days. Then he'll just do that on his own."
Chase then shows Gerald to the camera with clean eyes. "Alright now comes the mouth. That's going to be hard. I don't want to sharp jagged teeth that's not scary! Even though that's what I did last year." Chase then goes to cut the mouth out. Every now then he gives a little commentary, but not often. He needs to concentrate to get this right.
"Okay, that last one? Last one! Okay, did it work? Are your teeth going to come out? Yeeah boy! It worked yeah!" Chase then grabs a wipe and wipes off the marker of where he drew the lines for the mouth. He then puts all the pieces he cut out into the bag.
"Does your head still fit on?" Chase then goes and puts the top of Gerald's head on. "Yeah! He's a fully formed pumpkin!"
Chase then takes the top off and grabs the smaller knife. "Now what you're gonna have to do is some fine -"
The camera glitches green for a split second. Chase slowly put Gerald down and looks into the camera with a blank stare on his face. He slowly and shakingly brings the knife up to his throat and cuts across. Anti makes an appearance a couple of times before Chase falls flat on top of Gerald. The camera glitches again as if the footage is corrupted. Then it goes black.
"Help me!"
H̶̡́̕͝a̵̡̢̨͞h̸͘a̕͠h̡̀a̢̛͢h̴̨̧͠͡a̴͞͡h҉͡a̶̶͟h̀a͜͝҉̵h̢͢͡a͢҉h͢҉̶á̛͘!̧̨!̴͘͘҉!̷̵̵̕!̵̀̕͞!͢͟͡͡͠!͏̴̢
Anti takes over Chase. The screen is completely black and Anti has his trademark neck wound, reaching out of the camera. Reaching for us. And laughing in our face.
"H̶ee͘h̕eeh̨eeeh́e͝e!̴ H̕iś b̴o̸d̴y͡͝͏ ̧̕̕wa͏s̀ ̸̀҉wèa̴̧͡k̶͡!͏̕ Y̸o͜u a͢ĺl͞ śái̛d͜ m̧y name kept me̶ alive. H͠a͢hahaH̸a̢͢h҉̛͝a̷͘h͘a͞. I͘ ̴͡à̛̀m͠ ̷̨her͏e̛ ҉n͝o̢͡ẁ̵. ́́́In̶s͝i͟d̡e̢ y̛̕o̵͢u̵͠͞!̵҉!̧͞ I҉͘t̛͏̧ 's͘͠ ͏͝a̷͝ll̕ ̡y̨o҉u͟r͟͠ fa͏̕u̢͞l̷t̴̷.̷ T͡oo lo͝n҉g.͞ Yo̴͝͠u l̛ì͟͞s̨t̵e͠ǹ ̴̨͜t̢o ͏me͢.̧ Y̸o͏͝u͠ ̕͢a͝ll̶̢͠ ͏͜m̨̛a̛͘dé͠ ͡͏t̶̢͝hí̶̕s̶͟ ͜͞há̕p̧p̷̨e̸̶͝n͜͝e̴̡͡d̨͡͞.̴͝ H͞a͟h̀a͏ha̛haha͞. Y̧ou͘ còu̡ld̸ '̢v͏e͏ s҉top͢ped̨ m̛e̷, but yo̧u ͢jus̡t̶ w͝a̵tc̡hed.͝" Anti eyes went from static green to completely black in a blink of an eye. Then back to normal. "A̡s̛ ̴̧t͘h̶̵í̡͏s̷ ̵̷́h͏́a̸̡͡p͠҉̕p̶ȩ͝n͞e͝͝d̛͟. N͠ow ̡hę'̕s ͡go̶n͜e. F̶̛̀O̷̢҉R͢͡E̴̴͟V̧̀E͟R̕͠͝!"
The screen turns black and we all hear.
Ş̶À̧̨͟Ý̴̧͡ ̴̢̧͢͞G̵̢̕͢Ó̸̢O̕͜Ḑ̨̡͟͠B͠҉̵͝Y̷̸͝E̡̕!̷̧͞҉
==================================================
Links:
Creepypasta Reading: I Know You’re Awake, Scary Bedtime Stories with Jack
YouTube Comments with JackSepticeye: Video #5
YouTube Comments with JackSepticeye: Video #6
YouTube Comments with JackSepticeye: Video #7
YouTube Comments with JackSepticeye: Video #10
YouTube Comments with JackSepticeye: Video #47
Say GoodBye
Tagging: @septic-dr-schneep, @egopocalypse, @huffletrax, @d-structive, @dolphintreasureart, @dezzydynamite, @julywinters, @epicfangirl01, @starlightxnightmare, @starlightstarfight, @littlepinkchan, @a-humble-narcissus, @weirdmixofweirdness, @burnbrightfadefast, @jackjames-exe, @spicydanhowell, @thefirsttobreak, @run-stray-wolf, @thevampireauthoress, @isa-ghost, @kisstheashes,
#antisepticeye#fanfic#fanfiction#chase brody#bro average#jacksepticeye#saygoodbeye#reading your comments#creepy pasta#oneshot#ficlet#this idea was in my head#i need to stop watching the old videos#b/c then my theory brain#and my fanfic writer brain#begin to work together#and then you get this#writersofjack
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3x16 Reaction / Commentary
Alec “Proud Puppy” Lightwood
THAT FACE HAHA. Also crêpes man I'm jealous.
Rude man, don't rip him away from his hard earned waffles.
This is so hilarious to me, okay, this prompting hand flick Alec does (which you can't see here because I can't gif, only screenshot ahahaha) man I love it. Sadly I didn't find a gif of this yet, so I can't put one :( I can't even put into words why it's so hilarious to me. And Magnus's sceptical gaze hahaha.
Edit: I FOUND ONE
HAHAHA HELL YEAH
I mean we all knew this was fake, not least because it implies Magnus is wearing the same outfit two days in a row and obviously this would NEVER happen, but also because in no universe does Alec have smooth dance moves. It's a law of nature.
lol is this an innuendo or something because I don't get it, pls help
Tiny waist touch is spotted and highly appreciated.
That scene transition was brilliant and there is nothing else to say about it. I lost count of how many times I've rewatched it because it's awesome. The way Alec's voice sounds slighty off, the way Magnus gets heavier in his arms, the way everything spins out of focus, and Alec's last “Stay with me” sounds almost hard with urgency.
When I first saw this I was legit yelling at the screen why the hell Alec is just shaking him instead of, idk, doing CPR but I did him a grave injustice there because he actually does and I really appreciate that. (Though, if he learned first aid I wonder all the more about 3x12 (or was it 3x13, I lost count lol) where he just lets Sentry Guy die without even trying to save him.)
That being said, I'm really happy we got to see the immediate aftershocks of it because I was half afraid this episode would just start with Magnus in the infirmary bed. Still, I have a question. Who called Catarina? Izzy? Because why is she then so shocked when she learns Magnus is not breathing? When she presumably first entered the room to receive the instruction to call Catarina, did she not... wonder why Alec was cpr-ing him? Or did Magnus not immediately stop breathing after collapsing but just, faded slowly while Alec had already told Izzy to call Catarina? I kinda wanna know the mechanics here.
I mean, no surprise there if you keep killing them?? Ahahaha.
My fangirl brain: What, General Amaya from the Dragon Prince is gonna appear? Sign me the hell up!!!!
My rest-brain catching up: No this is not a crossover and no, r is not y and just, no.
My fangirl brain: :<
........ignoring the fact that summoning her is super stupid, there's also the tiny detail that they don't have leverage why would she help them are they just gonna say “pretty please”?? I can't believe them.
lol Bohemian if you see this, this panel is only for you to haunt your dreams XD hehehe sorry sorry but I just couldn't resist XD
Wtf I can't believe those words just came out of his mouth. Jace, you're gonna start with a pep talk? You were possessed and forced to do things against your will, you should know better than this.
Honestly.
The way his voice goes up, just kill me now.
THIS DETAIL OH MY GOD
I absolutely loved this scene, in terms of acting it was perfect and it was painfully in character for Alec to blame himself for everything that's not going alright with someone he loves.
The problem I have however (because come on, there's always a problem with me) is that they genuinely want to tell me that Alec didn't realize Magnus was faking it? Magnus loses his magic and he “doesn't think twice”? I mean, that's either really really insensitive or really really stupid. And Alec might be insensitive sometimes, but not like that and he surely isn't that stupid. So, uh, I don't really like that bit.
Again, if he was secretly happy that Magnus's immortality is gone that's one more thing to feel intensely shitty about, I get that, but being secretly glad how things turned out and not realizing the other person is suffering from how things turned out are two entirely different things. And just, tf Alec. He can't possibly be that dense, can he, that he genuinely thought Magnus was okay with this. Even if he thought this was something Magnus could get used to in the long run, he didn't expect him to need some kind of settling-in period? Really??
HELL YEAH I STAN CAT SO HARD IN THIS SCENE. And I'm so glad she's the voice of reason in this.... after deigning to appear at long effing last ahahaha sorry not sorry for that dig XD Look it's not her fault, it's the screen writers'.
I got a soft spot for Simon calling her Fray. Also, high-key loving how they're all sitting there waiting for news and finally acknowledging that something's up with Magnus.
LOL CLARY TELL US HOW YOU REALLY FEEL. Kidding. It was the Evil Rune at work again, even though she's nowhere near fire. Maybe it was the hypnotic neon lights? In any case, this is becoming a real problem lol. (No, tbh I found that outbreak totally hilarious XD)
.............................*sigh* I mean, your fierce determination doesn't change the fact that this plan is doomed to fail and you still don't have any leverage over Lilith, but sure. Go off.
YEAH BECAUSE AS SHE PROVED SHE HAS COMMON SENSE. Though I really hope she also told Alec about this dumb-ass request by his dumb-ass parabatai so he can intervene. But, tbh I don't really expect that to happen. *sigh*
Kill herself and then revive herself, hoping a short moment of death is enough to severe the connection? Or maybe, uh, try to use her rune power to cancel her Evil Rune instead of summoning Lilith??? Just for starters.
WTF I CAN'T BELIEVE I'D SEE THE DAY WHERE J A C E IS THE VOICE OF REASON WTF COLOR ME IMPRESSED I LOVE IT
“See, I infused it with a strong dose of Plot Convenience, so that shouldn't be an issue.”
THE PORTRAIT IN THE BACKGROUND HAHAHAHAHAHA
“Why? Why do you hate him so much?”
“It's simple. All my life I've had to sit by and watch...”
Thanks for 100% confirming my headcanon, I do love that :)
BAM!!!
I really like the detail that he's so out of breath from the magic, it shows that it was probably more harmful that just a shove back? Oh the questions I want to ask.....
Bitch you're 484 don't round down so much hahaha
Is Lorenzo actually gonna be swayed by this????????????????????? uh
Edit: Ahahaha we later learn he actually is and obviously I had to write a ficlet about it, so uuuuh whatever I'll put it at the end with all my other shameless self promo I'll include in this thing XD
OH YEAH I remember the “Different outfits for different occasions” comment from 2x19 I wonder what she'll wear? The same, or even older??? Btw why does she share a smile with Meliorn as if this is a private joke? Because, like, it isn't.
I mean that's touching and all, but that doesn't change the fact that Lilith loves you and seeing you dead would absolutely tear her apart, thus making this a fitting revenge. Wtf Jonathan this is no sound counterargument.
Hm. Tbh I liked her youngest self best? But she's still cast very well. And I recognize that her talking face to face with Jonathan would have been a little ridic if she only reached his navel XD
Ugh, Bohemian, can you see me rolling my eyes?
lol at least this was funny
OMG Luke could you be any more dramatic, are you actually kidding me. I'm gonna be sick soon if you don't cut the bs.
Wow the first sign of Sizzy that didn't suck, yay! XD this was actually pretty sweet.
Oh you mean that time that Raphael was feeding on her and they were indulging in mutual addiction? Because as soon as Izzy was clean she steered clear of Raphael.
..............................................what happened to “scumbag ex”? Why am I even asking?
?? Yeah? What happened to “While Saia lasted it was the best thing ever?” Then again that was what, three episodes ago? Can't hold him accountable for something that happened so long ago, right.
Hahaha okay that was cute.
1) LOL how hilarious would it be if they summon Lilith and just get her corpse plus Jonathan holding the sword still sticking out of her chest.
2) Jonathan is a true sadist, making her wear those heels.
3) Who's that wheelchair for? I mean, Lilith designed this apartment for her disciples, right?
.................which she doesn't need, since she's no warlock and her powers come from her angel blood, not ley lines. So, points for trying, show, but please don't mix up your races. Makes you look so unprofessional.
(Except if this is a hint that shadowhunters also run on ley line energy, have ley line magic flowing through them etc. but honestly I'm not even entertaining the thought because then I'd have a conniption.)
Wtf it's literally standing twenty seconds of intense mindnumbing pain, why the hell would you need a coach for that? Just hold it together and endure it. Also, if they attempt it, 20 bucks say he'll die for some dramatic Sizzy “Oh shit you could really have died, too” moment.
Awww you can really see the love in that touch. <--- sarcasm.
Awww you can really see the love in that touch. <--- no sarcasm.
Honestly, Magnus's touch is natural and familiar (btw love the uncoordinated grabbing) while Alec turns Magnus's chin as if he's trying to make as little physical contact as humanly possible. Is a hand on his cheek really too much to ask for? *sigh*
lol you'd think he'd start with that immediately after Magnus wakes up instead of taking risks (it's what I would have done) but whatever.
He's.... actually there to help? For free? Or is Alec gonna have to hand over the Institute's keys to him when the job is done? Lol. (Also that suit jacket could be straight out of Magnus's closet.)
Oh my God Alec just say he could die. Why sugarcoat it? Say it how it is, and Magnus might listen to you.
.........yeah. This is so relatable and I love how he delivers this line. The desperation is clear, but he's also determined about it.
Also, quick question, why didn't Alec get Catarina to be there when Magnus wakes up instead of Lorenzo? I'm not saying it would have changed the outcome but it might just have made Magnus feel less shitty about being exposed to his nemesis in this weak state. Then again I get it, Alec is running on panic and instinct, so consideration is the last thing on his mind.
This scene was amazing. Or, lol, this part of the scene. Magnus's performance is stellar and FYI the next thing he says, the “Look at me! Can you honestly say you like this?” was improvised and that's just ugh so good. Coincidentally this is also where my issues with this scene begin. They're not about how the characters act, I found that part very very fitting; it's meta.
The issue Magnus is having isn't about some fear that Alec won't love him anymore now that he doesn't have his magic anymore. Magnus is projecting. His issue lies within himself. He feels differently about himself, he can't say he likes this, and it's only in conclusion that he assumes it must be the same for Alec. But Alec isn't the root of this issue. But of course it's easier to pretend it's about Alec than to openly admit his severe self-image issues, so that's what Magnus does. Perfectly ic to me.
The problem I have here is that if we take what Magnus says at face value it appears that Magnus only wants his magic back so Alec will keep loving him (sidenote: even more if you cross out Harry's addition and just focus on the “You fell in love with the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Can you honestly say you don't feel differently about me?”) and the solution to that is clear: Alec drops some wedding vows, problem solved.
But that's not the problem here. Magnus would literally rather be dead than without his magic and no amount of Alec waxing poetry about him is going to change that. And honestly, I'm so grateful for Harry's addition because that made it abundantly clear to me that Magnus is projecting. His bewildered “Can you honestly say you like this?” is an admittance of “I see what I am now and I can't bear it, so how could you?”
If that scene had been about Alec, that would have been so uncalled for.
And also loooool but uuuuuuhhh I found Alec's speech less than impressive? I'm sorry, I know he tried but it just didn't work for me? I felt like it really wasn't up to his usual par. Lol I honestly rolled my eyes when he started about the spark that lights up the room XD It felt impersonal, kinda. It's hard to describe. Of course I can cut him some slack on that, because he was emotionally severely overchallenged in that moment and had to make it up on the fly, but uh. Yeah.
Anyway what I really didn't like was his closing line because it kinda sounded as if he was making that decision for Magnus and that's not his place. It might be dangerous and stupid and “not worth the risk” but Magnus isn't in a place where he should have his authority revoked, so. Kept from gambling with his life, yes. With sound arguments and empathy, yes. With dictation, no. So that didn't go over too well with me.
Anyway I channeled that into a ficlet already, too, which I'm also advertising at the end.
......has she just been sitting there for six episodes?
Btw I wonder, if Jonathan is happily manipulating Lilith by faking positive emotions towards her I don't get why he totally fell for it every time Clary did the exact same thing to him.
THAT MALICIOUS SMILE HAHAHA THE LITTLE (S)ASS
1) SO SHE'S LITERALLY BEEN SITTING THERE FOR SIX EPISODES?!?!!?!?!
2) Why hello there Plot Point XD srsly why tf would Asmodeus use Magnus's magic instead of his own if, need I remind you, his own demonic magic is stronger than Magnus's, Magnus's wasn't even enough to destroy her demonic possession on Jace.... so why would Magnus's magic be enough to bind Lilith, the mother of that possession, to a room? Uh, lemme guess... Plot Convenience?
So when, theory time!, Lilith is slayed he has no need for it anymore and can return it to Magnus?
“...to kill you while you were weakened.”
WOW WHAT A DELIVERY AMAZING
........I gotta be honest, I was really confused at his submissive behavior but then I realized... they have a 10 year history of these mechanisms, and slipping back into the pattern of things must be so easy. Also, I mean, that paints a really wonderful and peaceful image of his formative years, right?
Jimon Shipper Moment <3 ;)
Look I don't even ship it, but their bickering is high-key amusing to me.
Instead of just standing between them from the get go? Why?
?????? I guess the incest runs in the family, pun not intended?????? Btw Jonathan's weird incest-y obsession makes so much sense now. If this is literally the only way he ever learned how “familial love” (Lilith Greater Demon Edition) is expressed I have no questions anymore. Seriously, he's so screwed over by everyone and it's just unfair. (On that note, glad we never had to see him make out with Valentine. Some things are just too terrible to envision. Damn, why did I say that, I should just shut up for all of our sakes.)
Anyway, back to our favorite tortured soul here, I'm honestly not even sure if I can hold the incest thing against him any longer. His entire life consisted of being raised by Valentine, who kept him in a hut in the woods where he never got to see anyone but him, and then Edom where there was Lilith and demons. It makes a horrifying amount of sense that normal human norms mean nothing to him. He's never lived them, he's never witnessed them and maybe he doesn't even know them. So yeah. I guess I'll just add the incest thing on the long long list of things that are due to the stellar parenting he enjoyed, and not entirely his fault.
Damn so close to see my prognosis come true. Then again, I guess this was just the perfect timing because who knows if Lilith won't even help them now kill Jonathan because betrayal bla bla.
1) No need to twist the knife, then again this is Lorenzo so what am I even expecting.
2) WTF ARE THEY REALLY NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS SOME MORE?!?!?!??!?!
3) If it's like a transplanted organ being rejected by the body, just, idk, look for a different warlock whose magic fits Magnus better? There must be tests for that kind of thing? And even if there isn't, if you go slow and don't immediately portal all over the world plus end an encanto-coma you should be able to tell the magic doesn't fit pretty quickly without going into cardiac arrest. Magnus only got some nosebleed at first, remember, and it got worse only because he didn't slow down. I'm just saying, there would be Ways.
Wow I never realized before that he's actually got an undercut. Makes his hairstyle look even stupider.
Wow I believe this even less now than I did in 3x12.
“Let's hug in these trying times, but please make sure your face doesn't touch mine, otherwise people might draw the absurd and outrageous conclusion that we're in a relationship or something.”
Honestly. Their portrayal of casual intimacy is abysmal and I hate it.
1) The infirmary is very weird and open space for a place that should be easily closable if you need to contain, idk, sick people and their viruses and keep it sanitary.
2) I've been wondering since the start of the episode, did Lorenzo's pony tail get shorter? Wasn't it longer before?
3) At least Malec managed to make their feet intersect minimally, so yay for small mercies.
“One dose of Plot Convenience, coming right up.”
They're just.... gonna torture her? Really? I don't even have words for this.
Oh no, I do:
Seriously. It's as if morality isn't a thing, and torturing a sentient being isn't always and under all circumstances a Wrong and Bad thing to do. Because clearly if the person receiving torture is just Evil Enough then it's okay. Thanks for standing by and doing nothing Simon, this is exactly the reason I hate your inconsistent streak on this matter. I don't even expect better from the born shadowhunters, and Clary is way to un-reflected to even twitch but. Ugh. Why am I even wasting my breath (my typing capacity?) on this. It's pointless.
Wow this is pointless, too. I mean, why is Izzy not interfering? She literally just fell down. She shouldn't be out of comission by this. Ugh.
Also ugh to Izzy slinging her whip around his hand instead of, idk, his whole upper body and his arms.
Also ugh to Simon waiting to attack Jonathan until the last second as a heroic saving move to save Izzy which, ugh.
But this here
#AwkwardGrownUpSquad
I'm honestly lol'ing so hard right now. Hahahaha this is just hilarious to me.
Then again, who knows, maybe now they'll team up with Jonathan to kill Lilith and I'll get my hopes up again for a redemption arc XD
......................HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Btw I bet you she copied that move from Doctor Strange.
lol another thing I didn't see coming.
1) Hello Hannibal lol
2) Who went in there and put restraints on him?
3) Who's gonna pay that Seelie actress now??
This scene was actually nice? I know, I'm surprised myself.
How convenient. I mean, good thing he didn't say “Glorious” otherwise Izzy might have thought he was asking for that one ESC song to be played at his funeral.
Please, Maryse, don't flatter yourself, all you had to do was scratch Elliot's corpse from the floor boards, the rest was already completely furnished.
..................................................................................................................bye
Look, while part of me is undeniably thrilled at the prospect – because while I was totally rooting for a Malec Wedding I was pretty sure it was an unachievable dream, just like hoping for Sheith – this is exactly what I mean with taking things at face value. Alec takes Magnus at his words (that he has doubts Alec will still love him now that he lost his powers) and so he thinks that a grand gesture of commitment will fix it.
But it won't, because that's not the problem. Or at least I hope it's not the problem, I mean if I lost my arm my main worry would be “Holy shit how am I gonna cope without my trusty appendage” not “What are the neighbors gonna think? Will I still be able to rock my favorite outfit without that limb?”
Anyway. I don't think this'll go over too well at this point in time. And honestly, Alec just realized at the beginning of this episode that he was fooled by Magnus's coping facade and tricked into thinking Magnus would be fine without his magic. And now Magnus has lost is magic again and Alec just... makes the same mistake again, blindly believing the words coming out of Magnus's mouth instead of taking a look for himself and seeing how Magnus is faring? Did he learn nothing from this? Alec. Why are you like this.
Anyway, conclusion time: This episode was way more reasonably paced than the last, the shit decision making was kept to a minimum (except for the part where they, y'know, summon Lilith back to earth) and Jace gets a diligence starlet for displaying common sense.
And now, self advertisement time! I wrote three ficlets:
a) a continuation of the scene with Alec and Lorenzo
b) a gap-bridging Malec scene set after the “I won't lose you” line and finally
c) a what-I'd-like-to-see-happen-in-3x17-fic where Alec tells Izzy about his proposal plans.
I'd be thrilled if you checked one of them out. Until next time XD
(Gif Source)
#shadowhunters#3x16#alec lightwood#jace wayland#magnus bane#clary fray#isabelle lightwood#simon lewis#jonathan morgenstern#lorenzo rey#lilith#luke garroway#maryse lightwood#malec#reaction
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Discovery of Witches Season 1 Episode 1
Yes, this is the TV series based off of that horrible book trilogy. People who follow my book blog will remember that I snarked it and had the absolute worst time.
Forget the Fifty Shades... sextet (It's a sextet now, not a trilogy). The All Souls Trilogy is, hands down, the absolute worst thing that I have ever had the misfortune to read.
But Ravenclaw, if you hated the book so much, why did you watch even one episode of the TV series?
All me curious, I suppose.
Going into the episode, my opinion is already pretty rock bottom. I'm expecting a lot of padding, if only because the book was 90% unnecessary bullshit that literally anybody should have told Harkness to cut out.
When they first announced that they were making the series, I joked with my friends that half of the TV show was just going to be Diana disassociating for half an hour as she stared at a sconce and explained how this light fixture once belonged to Henry VIII or whatever. BECUASE THAT'S HOW IT HAPPENS IN THE BOOK.
However, the TV series, as you might imagine, takes some... er... liberties. Already in the first episode, characters are introduced differently, and new POVs are introduced as well. If only because... No, Harkness. We don't want to see Diana dramatically pushing down the lever on the toaster. JFC why.
The show starts off pretty much like in the book: Meet Diana Bishop, who has a doctorate in magical history. She's a witch, but she's not very good at it.
In the book, especially right in the beginning before Harkness figured out what the fuck she was doing, Diana's magic waffled between “I WANT TO BE HUMAN SO I REFUSE TO USE MAGIC!!” and “I AM SHIT AT MAGIC SO I TRY TO AVOID DOING IT WHENEVER POSSIBLE.”
However, right off the bat, Diana talks with her friend, Jillian, and says that she has a lot of lingering PTSD from her parents being murdered because of their magic. Which is fair.
And it's also way more character development than Diana got in literally 15000 pages of trash Harkness wrote.
Diana calls up the famed Ashmole 742 (or as I took to calling it “Asshole 747”), of which the entire series revolves around.
See, literally every magical creature thinks that this book is somehow the answer to all of their problems. They all want it because they think that it's going to share the secrets of how they came to be. And they don't want the other magical species to get their hands on it because they think that the secrets inside will tell the other species how to destroy them.
And as I write this, I think to myself “There can be no winners in a scenario like this. Just mutual destruction over a fucking book.” But whatever.
Oh, and in case you need to be caught up, there are three magical species: witches, vampires, and daemons. I'm using the spelling from the book, because, in my mind, they were not the same thing as “demons”. In fact, I'm pretty sure that the book went out of its way to assure us that “daemons” had not crawled up from hell, etc etc. In fact, I even pronounced it like “day-mons”. The series, however, seems to think that “daemon” and “demon” would be too confusing, and has resorted back to just plain old demon.
First off... let me express my discomfort over the entire library scene. Diana goes in, tells the guy at the desk that she wants such and such books and gives him the call slips. He sends the slips down to where the really old books are stored. And it's interesting to see. But then the lady goes and she just... “Lol, here's this book! And let me grab this other book.” She stacks them up on her chest like they weren't four-plus centuries old. And if we were talking about copies of Harry Potter or whatever, I don't think that I would give two shits. BUT THESE ARE OLD, PRICELESS, ONE OF A KIND BOOKS. AND SHE'S TREATING THEM LIKE THEY'RE 98TH EDITIONS OF HARRY POTTER.
And then the guy goes over to give them to Diana, and he's like “Well, here you go.” and just kind of... tosses them onto her workspace. And Diana starts to look at the Asshole 747.
And not a single person handles any of these books with gloves, either. Diana even touches these old pages with her bare hands, which can't possibly be good for the pages or ink. And in one scene, she even forcefully rips a page apart from the one below it, which had sort of become stuck with the ink.
WHY.
Anyway, as Diana actually looks at the book, it's a very interesting special effect as all of the words swirl around on the page.
However, true to the book, Diana freaks out and quickly returns the book. However, unlike in the book, Diana thinks that she sees her father, and she has a complete and utter panic attack over the entire thing.
She later calls her aunt, who is more angry that Diana returned what is clearly a dangerous magical item rather than to investigate further... Rather than the obvious fact that it's clear that Diana is spiraling into some kind of psychosis what with seeing her father and having nightterrors.
Because priorities.
Also much like in the book, all of the magical species in the area were somehow alerted to Diana calling up the book. And I'm willing to let it slide, if only because MAGIC.
Jillian kicks off her subplot by her telling the head of the local coven about this. The head then calls up the witchy president, who's some old fat guy and I cannot remember his name for the life of me. He also brings along Satu. We were rather rudely introduced to Satu as old fat guy went to get her in Finland. And she murdered the random human that the old fat guy brought along with him.
HAHAHA, BECAUSE NOTHING SAYS 'I WANT YOU TO RULE ME' QUITE LIKE STARTING OFF YOUR REIGN BY MURDERING PEOPLE. HAHAHAHAHAHA /sarcasm
However, as this is likely going to be a long series (if it goes the full length of the books and isn't canceled in the meantime, which maybe it will be if the rest of the episodes are this awkward with clunky dialogue as this first episode), then Jillian's plot is just kicking off. We don't spend much time on it.
However, we do introduce Marcus, who is Matthew's vampire son. (Not to be confused with a biological son. They're vampires, for fuck's sake.) Marcus's friend was hit by a car, and he died almost instantly. Marcus felt bad about the entire thing and tried to turn his friend, only for the vampire mojo to not work at all.
Later, Matthew picks Marcus up from the police station, and completely reams Marcus out for... trying to help his friend. It's a head scratcher, but don't linger too much on it.
Matthew is, however, insanely insistent that the answers to why they suddenly cannot create any new vampires lies in Asshole 747.
So, he starts to literally stalk Diana. And, granted. This is very accurate to how things were in the book. Except, Diana was kind of like “Oh no, he's hot!” about the entire thing. We never saw what Matthew was thinking, because the books were written from Diana's first person POV. But... in the TV series, he comes off less like a smarter and more mature Edward Cullen and more like... Hannibal Lecter. Yeah, you trust him a little if only because he's good looking and smart. But at the same time, you're getting some seriously creepy “He's going to cut out my spleen and put it in soup and feed me the soup before he kills me for real.” vibes from him. Ugh.
It's the complete opposite of romantic, if you ask me. At least the Twilight movies tried to make Edward look like not the kind of person who breaks into a girl's bedroom to watch her sleep. With Discovery of Witches, no such attempt to de-creep-ify Matthew is ever made.
All in all, the episode seemed to drag on forever. Too many subplots were introduced too quickly. The dialogue was clunky and it felt overly forced. Especially from Diana. The actual academic side of the episode was so cringy that I literally wanted to cry and write an angry letter to whoever the fuck wrote this bullshit.
But, the simple fact that it's really, REALLY hard to talk about a pencil for three pages or bricks or the dorm where Diana's staying or her fucking hairbrush means that half of what made the All Souls Trilogy so unbelievably unbearable is instantly cut for more actual plot.
It wasn't nearly as horrible as I was expecting. And I'm as surprised as you are. I've seen way worse things. And the fact that I kind of want to see the second episode just to see where they're going to take this vs how the book was is always a good sign for a show.
Especially one as awful as All Souls Trilogy was.
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Aikie’s The EℓyXiOn in Manila Experience (180428)
I will be posting my experience in bullets because I still feel dumb right now and I cannot construct proper sentences lol. And this post will be long, there’s more after the cut.
TW (lol): If you hate grammar and spelling lapses, don’t read this lmfao. I’m just writing what’s left of my soup-like brain. My memory is for shit right now, so I might edit this in the future.
BTW I didn’t take a lot of videos except for my IG stories. I just enjoyed the show because I know there are lots of people taking videos anyway ahhaha, literally my view is everyone’s phone askjdnksfnd. If not for my 5 inch platforms, I wouldn’t see shit.
If you wanna see what I got, here is my instagram: @beautyinbattle (It’s on highlight, I think you can only watch it on mobile) the sequence is not in order because my data and internet at home is shitty lol. (What’s new, Philippines?)
@supplyallmysauces and I were up making our banner until 3:30 AM
I set my alarm at 6 AM, but I woke up at 5:30 (I guess I’m too excited lmfaooooo)
My makeup that day!!!
We left the house by 9 and we got to the venue past 10 AM
We went around looking for the GA’s I won (Support Banners from JM and JD local fansites, Food Support from JM local fansite and a CBX Blooming Days album from a well known international fan)
Just some of the things I got from fansites.
Chinese for lunch with my lovely friends
We’re not yet complete here hahaha
After our lunch, we hangout in Chilli’s and ordered drinks. I was gonna ordered beer but I was too fucking sleepy so I just got a very sweet mango smoothie with extra syrup. I also ate a packet of brown sugar and sipped @supplyallmysauces‘ Cerveza Negra hahahahahaha.
@supplyallmysauces and I left before 3 PM to start lining for our section. The queuing was shit, as expected from Pulp Live World. We had the same experience with 2NE1′s AON in 2014. And when you complain to their co-owner she would just say “You enjoyed the show, right? Just smile” (her exact words to me when I vented my feelings out) lol
Got inside our area by 5:40 PM. Literally 20 Minutes before the show started!!! WTF
Now starting here, I can’t seem to remember much... But here goes.
First thing I noticed was Chanyeol touching Jongin’s butt and then Jongin kicking him in the ass.
Then Chanyeol touching Sehun’s butt, Sehun kicking Chanyeol too. (Not sure if he kicked CY tho, my memory is hazy but something like that did happen)
Chanyeol, Jongin, and Sehun were really playful with each other.
Jongin and Kyungsoo look extra happy that night. They were all smiles.
EXO-Ls singing Sing For You, some members (especially Baekhyun) were letting us sing along. Kyungsoo looked so proud and happy when we literally sang the whole song.
Junmyeon, Jongin, and Baekhyun mentioned an incoming album. ASLJSKDKJD
Junmyeon looked so tired and disoriented most of the time in the beginning because he saw his sasaeng, Rion, among the crowd :(
Junmyeon mentioned and ‘promoted’ Blooming Days. KING OF CBX PROMOTION, AMIRIGHT??? SM ENTERTAINMENT WYD???
Chanyeol mentioned his last trip to Bohol and he got his Diving License there.
Sehun mentioned his last trip to Batangas too and how he enjoyed it. He recommended his members to go there.
Junmyeon said the weather is nice in the Philippines. And we’re all like “Uhm, no?” hahahaha. We hit 40 degree C 2 weeks ago, wtf!!! Whenever someone arrives we’re like “WELCOME TO HELL!”
The Koreans reactions when Junmyeon said they don’t wanna go back to Korea was so funny ahahaha. They were literally like 😨😨😨
The crowd screamed “Walang Uuwi” (Literally means “No one’s going back home”) And EXO were confused because the translator didn’t explain what it meant. Jongdae was like “Walang u-waeee?” it was so funny.
Baekhyun sang Baby Shark in Korean and then the crowd continued in English. Chanyeol and Jongin were dancing along with Baekhyun. Kyungsoo didn’t know what it was, so he asked Chanyeol what a ‘Baby Shark’ is lmfaoooo you’re so cute Kyungsoo!!!
Jongdae and Baekhyun were looking in our general area and I’m not sure if they saw mine and @supplyallmysauces‘ banner, but I feel like they did. It just didn’t register in their brain. They were probably really tired too :(
@supplyallmysauces‘ Banner
JUNMYEON SAW MY BANNER AND WE MADE EYE CONTACT FOR 10 SECONDS JKDFSBNKSKNFLKSDFN I DO NOT HAVE A VIDEO OR PICTURE AS PROOF BUT IT DID HAPPEN. I WASN’T EXPECTING IT AND HE EVEN SCRUNCH HIS NOSE AT ME WTF. My only witness was @supplyallmysauces AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
MY FCGKING BANNER. I’m glad I didn’t sleep until 3 AM just for this! ALL THE PAIN AND SUFFERING IS WORTH IT HAHAHAHAHA.
10초동앗 저를 봐주세용 (Look at me for 10 second please /the “용“ -yong/ with aegyo lmfao) and Junmyeon delivered!!!
MY BIAS, MY ANGEL, MY HUSBAND, THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, KIM FUCKING JUNMYEON!!! NO ONE DESERVES YOU, MY BABY YOU’RE TOO GOOD FOR THIS UGLY WORLD!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH HUHUHUHUH!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
After the show, I cannot fucking walk anymore. My feet are literally dead by that time. So we stayed by the snack bar for a bit and reviewed the whole show dfkjdflk
Me with @supplyallmysauces, @loeyeolty and our friends!!! I LOVE ALL OF THEM!!!
Oh and @supplyallmysauces caught two CHEN BALLS LMFAO
Now... Let’s talk about my Jongdae side of the banner going viral...
It all started with this picture. IDK who took it, but THANK YOU. LFMAO.
I saw @oh-beyond tagged me in a post while I was trying not to die. And it went downhill from there. People keep tagging me on Twitter and just LAKDJLADKJLDAKD
Tumblr Posts HERE, and HERE
Twitter Posts HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, and HERE
Facebook Post HERE
IF YOU KNOW MORE PLACES WHERE IT GOT RE-POSTED, LET ME KNOW!!!
While my friends were lining up to order in CBTL, some girls were talking about my banner. THANK GOD I WASN’T THERE YET TO WITNESS THAT!!! I MIGHT DIE LMFAO.
I guess that’s about it. I will be editing this if there’s any more happenings I remember. lol. BYE.
#Elyxion in Manila#My experience#EXO#EXO-CBX#Suho#Kim Junmyeon#Xiumin#Kim Minseok#Baekhyun#Byun Baekhyun#Chen#Kim Jongdae#Chanyeol#Park Chanyeol#D.O.#Do Kyungsoo#Kai#Kim Jongin#Sehun#Oh Sehun#Lay#Zhang Yixing#ELYXION#EXO ELYXION#EXO Elyxion Manila#Elyxion Manila#5
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More About Me Than You’ll Probably Ever Want to Know...
Came across this questionnaire at the bottom of my drafts (right beneath a thread I started ages ago titled “PLL plotholes that were never resolved” that I plan to finish before the world ends) and since it’s another sleepless night and I need something to occupy my brain, I figured...why not?
1) Do you have a good relationship with your parents? This would be the first fucking question. I have re-evaluated how much I used to take them for granted. Nothing like a family tragedy to slap some sense into your head.
2) Who did you last say “I love you” to? My mom. Or my dad. Probably both of them. Or it may have been one of my friends who called to check up on me. Hell, I’m just saying it to everyone at this point. Because you just never know, man.
3) Do you regret anything? Regrets are just lessons learned. And I could write an entire school decade of lesson plans with what I’ve learned.
4) Are you insecure? “You’re insecure. Don’t know what for. You’re turning heads when you walk through the dooooor…” Jesus, I just started singing a One Direction song. What the fuck is wrong with me?
5) What is your relationship status? Single, cuz don’t nobody want this crazy dorky mess.
6) How do you want to die? Happy. So the key to immortality is to be all emo.
7) What did you last eat? Salted milk chocolate caramel. Actually, I think that’s the only thing I’ve eaten all day.
8) Played any sports? Awkwardly and badly.
9) Do you bite your nails? It’s a horrible habit I’ve had since I was a child.
10) When was your last physical fight? I do get distracted and run myself into the wall a lot, does that count? I may have done it ten minutes ago.
11) Do you like someone? I like a lot of someones. No, I’m not a whore. I just like people.
12) Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? Ha. Hahahahahaha, I am an insomniac whose mother is currently in the ICU. I’m going for the record of staying up for 48 days.
13) Do you hate anyone at the moment? Mostly myself, because I’m really good at self-loathing, especially when I’m editing my writing. Which I’m doing tonight.
14) Do you miss someone? My mom. I miss her annoying me constantly with her stupid emojis and talking to me about our TV shows and just being ridiculous in general.
15) Have any pets? I have a very bossy cat.
16) How exactly are you feeling at the moment? The weather is being a bitch, so my head is currently about to explode.
17) Ever made out in the bathroom? Public or private? Because, like, ew, public toilets are filled with so many disgusting germs that the last thing I want to do in there is roll around in those germs. Private? No comment. Heh.
18) Are you scared of spiders? No. I rescue them when I find them, because my hatred for mosquitoes far outweighs any fear I might have and they eat mosquitoes. So, house spiders and I are homies. But Brown Recluse and Black Widows? I’ll burn those motherfuckers to death.
19) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? The older I get the more I answer yes to this.
20) Where was the last place you snogged someone? Ohhh, a Brit came up with this questionnaire and I just love that. And actually, to answer the question, I’m not really sure. I haven’t dated in a while.
21) What are your plans for this weekend? Read. Write. Pretend reality isn’t real. Maybe I’ll remember to eat and sleep. Who knows?
22) Do you want to have kids? How many? Yes, but I don’t know how many. Depends on how much I like the first one I guess. *glances at future first born, puts weight of world on that child’s shoulders*
23) Do you have piercings? How many? Yes. I think. Maybe. It’s been a while since I’ve worn earrings, but I’m pretty sure they’re still pierced.
24) What is/are/were your best subject(s)? Lunch and recess. I was great at sneaking food off to the playground and then hiding from my teachers. My teachers hated me.
25) Do you miss anyone from your past? I do.
26) What are you craving right now? Relaxation. But since that’s not happening, I’m just gonna go for like…pizza or something instead. Take THAT arteries!
27) Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Not intentionally.
28) Have you ever been cheated on? Yes.
29) Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? I don’t think so, because unlike Shonda Rhimes and George RR Martin I don’t need the tears of my relationships to survive.
30) What’s irritating you right now? Adulting. Just being an adult in general. It’s so hard. I want to go back to the days where I was stealing from the cafeteria and hiding on the playground.
31) Does somebody love you? I like to think so.
32) What is your favourite color? Purple and royal blue.
33) Do you have trust issues? Majorly.
34) Who/what was your last dream about? My mom.
35) Who was the last person you cried in front of? My neighbor. We hugged it out. She is good people.
36) Do you give out second chances too easily? I do not. See the question about trust issues.
37) Is it easier to forgive or forget? Neither, unless you have memory problems, then I guess it’s easier to forget.
38) Is this year the best year of your life? *guffaws, falls over laughing* 2018 and I are having creative differences and I have decided that it’s best for the both of us if we just mutually split.
39) How old were you when you had your first kiss? Five. Ah, playground shenanigans.
40) Have you ever walked outside completely naked? Is that…are you not supposed to? *whistles while carefully backpedaling to room to put on clothes* Come on, I live in the south where it gets hotter than Satan’s butthole in the summer.
41) Favourite food? Chocolate. Tomatoes. Not together, of course. Ew. Although… *leaves to try something* …nope ‘ew’ was right.
42) Do you believe everything happens for a reason? You know, I like to believe so, but there are just some things I’m not so sure about. Like…Beiber. Why? Don’t @ me.
43) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? I never went to bed. See the question about staying up for 48 hours/days.
44) Is cheating ever okay? Personally, I don’t believe in it, but I’m not going to judge anyone for how they choose to live their lives. Just wrap your tool when you do.
45) Are you mean? I’m a sarcastic asshole, so that can be taken as mean sometimes, I guess.
46) How many people have you fist fought? I have lost count. I did not grow up in a stable neighborhood.
47) Do you believe in true love? Call me an idiotic dreamer, but I do.
48) Favourite weather? This is a trick question, because no matter what I say mother nature is going to attack me. Winter = black icy death. Summer = death by heat. Spring = death by tornadoes. Hmm, maybe Fall is the way to…nope, Fall = leaf piles of fiery death.
49) Do you like the snow? I do. But do we get snow? No. We get 8 fucking inches of ice.
50) Do you wanna get married? Maybe some day.
51) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? Eh, I could take it or leave it.
52) What makes you happy? My TV. My TV understands me.
53) Would you change your name? I would consider it. I would consider changing literally everything about me. I’m going to start a new life in Canada where no one knows me. I will adopt a moose.
54) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? If it was, why would I have kissed that person in the first place?
55) Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? “Listen, when my (future) husband dies, you and I can get a condo at the beach and grow old together like we planned, and oh, wait a second, you just started plotting my (future) husband’s death, didn’t you? Well, let’s just skip that then. I don’t feel like burying any bodies.”
56) Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? I do. He’s a good homie to have. Listen, I’m here to tell you, if you can’t be your true self around someone (regardless if they are the opposite or the same sex) then they may not be as good a friend as you think. Just be you.
57) Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? See above question about my good homie to have.
58: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? You know, considering neither my dad, nor I, are good with talking about our emotions and shit, the fact that my mom has been in the hospital for over a month has spawned some really in depth conversations. And my best friend, because my best friend just gets me. We all need that Thelma to our Louise to keep us from hot-rodding a car over a cliff. You find you your partner in crime and you hold on to them.
59) Do you believe in soulmates? Absolutely. Mine is just apparently lost as hell.
60) Is there anyone you would die for? Many people. I would throw myself in front of many buses for many people. But to be fair I’d also throw myself in front of a bus to get out of paying my student loans. And to get away from the current government. And to just finally get some goddamn sleep.
Alright, I’ll quit flooding your feed with my nonsense now. Hope I entertained at least one of you. Peace out.
#Asks#Questionnaire#this is so long#why do I do these things#about me#random tumblr#Man I ramble#If you read this whole thing I salute you#that's a lot of words
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1-20 for three sims of your choice. 83
EDIT: Ok I just noticed the questionnaire isn’t actually 20 questions long. Its only 17 lol. It literally skips 3 numbers at 13 and jumps to 17 at the next question and number 20 is asking a question yourself lmao
I’m adding Trinity to this list of 3 ^_^
Sims Asks
Trinity Jo
1. Trinity is 18 going on 19
2. No middle name but she does have one of those Southern “double first names” so the “Jo” after Trinity stands for Josefine.
3. Black or dark colored tops (usually with some kind of hood or scarf) and bottoms/jeans with some kinda sneakers or boots. She usually goes for form fitting clothing but not because she thinks its sexy its becasue she hates “flowy loose shit” that gets in the way when she’s fighting/running/whipping out a weapon.
4. Trinity has several full blooded demon siblings who either dislike her for being half human, want her dead for being half human or just like to fuck something up of her’s for kicks because that’s just what demonic siblings do :D
5. ….I really need to think of birthdays for my sims lmao But I was leaning toward Sagittarius for her..maybe??
6. Trinity didn’t stay in school for very long and she started late she made it to about middle school before dropping out. Her favorite subject was gym/recess and surprisingly she liked history lessons but she hated everything else lol.
7. Her favorite is the movie Blade starring Wesley Snipes xD But she likes anything with supernatural beings/creature features with action and adventure. Bonus points for gore and blood.
8. Trinity’s latest google search: “Can you break your dick?”
9. Trinity is inspired by people who let their actions speak louder than their words. If Alucard from the Hellsing Abridged Series was real, He would be Trinity’s role model.
10. Favorite book? Trinity!??? HAHAHAHAHAHA ! Any book heavy enough to break someone’s face when she throws it at them is her favorite kind of book lmao
11. Motorcycles, fast cars…and weapons. Guns especially. Anything that makes a big bang is her hobby. Explosions??? Yup. Sharp blades? Yup. Canons? Oh yes. Bitches love canons.
12. I don’t watch or read Harry Potter so idk.
13. I’m not sure how one does the enneagram thing but if anyone can explain it I can maybe choose something.
17. Trinity usually likes all foods as long as its savory and filling. As a half-demon she has a very high metabolism so she eats a lot very frequently. Since she and the Reaper currently reside near the New Mexican/Arizona desert(s) border. They frequent the diners and pizza joints there a lot. Trinity likes the burgers and pizza…as long as it doesn’t have pineapple on it. Pineapple pizza is a sin even for a half-demon.
18. Coffee? Ehhh she’ll drink it occasionally. Tea? Well she’s originally from Louisiana so she likes her southern sweet teas. Cocoa? Yup. Its sweet and warm when its cold out.
19. Trinity’s handwriting is…pretty bad. She doesn’t spell, write or read very well because she was taught to read and write very late into her childhood so that means her punctuation and grammar are usually atrocious. She doesn’t even care so long as her point gets across but Reaper has been gradually getting her to use better grammar and punctuation when writing over time. She writes how she speaks so that means…curse words and slang with a Southern Louisiana drawl in person.
20. Since there’s no original ask here’s a Random Fact: Trinity’s hair length changes so frequently because it grows very fast. If she were to buzz it all off, it’d get back to its current neck/ear length in like a month or two.
D Santana
1. D is pretty old. He doesn’t remember his exact age but he is at least half a millennia. So about 500 years or more.
2. Nope lol He’s very secretive about what his actual name is. He’s had it legally changed it to “D” but if someone asks what it stands for he gives them the name Diego.
3. Almost exclusively Black or similarly dark colors. He’s known for looking like a “modern cowboy” sort of look. That means the black boots and the big black hat with a vest and t-shirt. But he also can go more casual street style with just jogging pants and a T-Shirt with house shoes (at home). He wears the most clothing during the day, of course and usually at night (or at home) you can catch him working topless/sleeveless at his shop.
4. He did have siblings as human. As for vampire siblings, he considers the crew that works at his shop as his nestmates of sorts and therefore they call one another “brother” and “sister”. He also has a lovingly hateful friendship with TrinityJo and The Reaper.
5. ….again with the birthdays that I haven’t given XD Then again I have excuse since D is an older vampire.
6. N/A
7. His favorite movies are “F. W. Murnau’s Nosferatu” (because he finds it amusing) and “¡Vamonos con Pancho Villa!”
8. D’s Last Google Search: “EL1016‑SS: Classic Tube Brake Lines“
9. D is rarely inspired by anyone or anything but he does find people with lots of tenacity and will to never give up can coax him to do things he normally wouldn’t. Which is why he usually tolerates Trinity’s obnoxiousness.
10. He doesn’t read much but he does like TV lol Usually old cowboy shows. He watches “Bat Masterson” and yes he’ll watch the old “Zoro” series sometimes too.
11. D’s hobbies include: tattooing/body art, leatherwork, vintage cars (something he and Trinity “bond” over), supernatural inkwork and bonding.
12. I don’t watch/read Harry Potter lol
13. I’m not sure how one does the enneagram thing but if anyone can explain it I can maybe choose something.
17. D’s “food” is blood but he does consume alcohol because he likes the taste and drinking a lot enough might give him a slight buzz for a while. His favorite blood type is B Negative.
18. Coffee? Tea? Cocoa?? Do you mean TEAquila
19. D has terribly sloppy handwriting. But its slop in those “What the hell does this actually say?” kinda ways and not one of those “Are these actual letters of the alphabet?” kinda ways lol
20. Since there’s no original ask here’s a Random Fact: Sometimes he forgets to English and will start speaking his Native tongue (Nahuatl) or Spanish.
The First Son (Osiris)
1. Osiris is very old. Created before humans. But his “human age” is 29.
2. No middle name lol
3. Osiris has a very formal, clean style. He’s a businessman so you usually catch him in a very clean and precise cut suit and tie his casual wear is “business casual” meaning he’ll do button ups and comfortable slacks and if he doesn’t have a suit jacket of some sort he usually has a vest on. He keeps his hair in a close-cut ceasar style or a fade. He might wear glasses or something but he’s presumed by humans to be blind.
4. “The Second Son” is currently his only known sibling.
5. (Finally a sim with a presumed birthday XD) Osiris is a Capricorn, “born” on January 7th 1988 for human records. From what I see about Capricorns, it seems to fit him. Ambitious, intelligent and calculating, Osiris is very well organized and disciplined. He is reserved and patient and extremely hard-working but can be very cold, brutal and unforgiving when angered. He’s also something of a perfectionist and expects the best of anyone who he works with (and those who work for him). He does not like being disappointed when expectations are set high and has the confidence and cleverness of an attractive, successful, businessman.
6. Osiris has studied at various universities and schools over the years. His favorite subjects are math and science. Like the hardcore stuff. Advanced Calculus, Physics, Biology, Chemistry and of course Alchemy and Magics of all kinds.
7. …..Hmmm not sure how into movies he would be. He’s more of a book reader.
8. Google? He IS google xD. A living dictionary of world history lol But I’d say maybe all he’s googled recently is something like “What is spongebob?” because of all these new dumbass Spongebob memes xD
9. Osiris is inspired by his need to further and surpass the boundaries of human science and physical limitations. He’s always looking for a way to make things better. He feels like since he has to share this planet with lower beings he might as well try to make it tolerable.
10. The Bible is a favorite book of his. Not because believes in it but because he finds it an amusing read. Like “Lol I was there when they crucified Jesus and that’s not how the story went.”
11. His hobbies consist of studying to further the progress of Nilotic Energy (his company), reading in general, collecting historical relics for preservation, creating and cataloging new magic and spells. He also likes cooking. Even though he doesn’t have to eat, he enjoys the art and skill that goes along with cooking and does it often.
13. I’m not sure how one does the enneagram thing but if anyone can explain it I can maybe choose something.
17. Well he doesn’t have to eat to sustain himself but usually he goes for the more homecooked or highclass meal kinda foods. He likes foods that people put actual work and skill into. He can literally taste the difference if you’ve put effort into your food or if you just warmed up some precooked stuff in a microwave. So in other words you probably won’t catch him eating at a greasy fast food place.
18. Does he prefer coffee, tea or cocoa? Surprisingly he likes them all. But teas are his favorite. He likes his coffees and teas in a very specific way.
19. Osiris’s handwriting is very neat and precise. The only time it looks off is when he’s just jotting down quicknotes for something but even then its always legible. He also almost exclusively writes in cursive.
20. Since there’s no original ask here’s a Random Fact: Smoking cigars is a bad habit he adopted during the 1800s. He’s adapted ingredients to suit his own, more non-human, preferences but he still likes certain human brands as well.
#itsoceansecret#Trinity Jo#Trinity#taultvec#Ask Kosmo#D Santana#The First Son#Sims Asks#Ignore the typos I probably have in here
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