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just-the-hiddles · 3 years

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Writer’s Spotlight | myoxisbroken

Happy hump day, peeps! This week’s spotlight is the queen of a historical fic, AU or canon. The maven of food porn in a fic. And the reigning champ of teasing me with smut @myoxisbroken ! Let’s dive in!!

The Basics

MASTERLIST HERE

Any other names you want people to call you?

Miss Ox, myox, whatever you feel like!

How long have you been writing fic?

2 years.

What fandoms and/ships do you write?

MCU (Loki, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes), other Tom Hiddleston characters (Pine, Conrad, Sharpe, Buxton, Nicholls, Plumptre, and ever-growing), and just branching out into Pedro Pascal with The Mandalorian; I also have a few Doctor Who fics in my Masterlist (Ten/Donna Noble)

How did you get started writing fic?

I was reading a ton of Doctor Who fic and enjoying the Doctor/River Song stories. Then I rewatched DW season 4 and was so depressed about Donna's ending that I immediately watched the David Tennant/Catherine Tate version of Much Ado About Nothing. And then I started to ship the Tenth Doctor and Donna.

So I read a bunch of their fic and thought, "You know what would be awesome? If someone wrote a WW2 AU where Donna's a single mother and the Doctor is an injured fighter pilot that she takes in as a boarder." And then I started to get snippets of dialogue in my head, and ideas for scenes, and I wondered if I might be able to write a story myself. I hadn't written anything in years, but I decided to give it a try. And a few months later, I had my first story completed, a 14-chapter Doctor Who AU.

After that, I had the writing bug and I haven't been able to stop coming up with ideas and working to put them into words!

Story Recommendations

Which of your stories are your favorite?

It is honestly so hard to choose. I'm only going to choose completed works, because I always love the WIPs I'm working on. So, let's see: You Bring Me Home is one of them, because it was so fun to just jump into a sexy vacation romp with some playful kink exploration for James Conrad (Kong: Skull Island). With Brooding Wings was my first attempt at a vampire story using multiple Tom Hiddleston characters, and I really enjoyed playing with the dynamics of different personalities and settings in that world.

In A Restless World Like This Is is another, because I had such a great time writing a fluffy love story for Steve Rogers and an older OFC. It started as a spite project because of someone's objections to older characters and turned into such a lovely experience. It was one of the easiest I've ever written in terms of how quickly it flowed from my brain through my fingers. I'd loved writing for Loki (An Excellent Suggestion was my first Loki story, and my first time writing smut) and for Bucky (We Are All Victims of Physics Sometimes was my first dip into capturing Bucky's quiet reserve and depth of emotion).

I honestly could go on and on about stories but would only sound more conceited.

Which story are you most proud of?

I think A Pursuit of the Heart. It was my first time writing in the Regency/Georgian era, and I did a TON of research for it. It was also my first novel-length story, and I didn't even know if I could take on something that big or write a historical romance convincingly, in a way that felt era-appropriate and true. I was so proud of the finished product.

Which of your stories do you think is the most underrated?

Let Your Heart Be Light, a Bucky/OFC story with a Christmas theme - its companion piece, Kissing The New Year In, also didn't get much traction. But I loved writing them!

Someone is new to reading your stories, which story/stories should they read first?

It depends on what actors and characters they like, really, as well as if they like smut or fluff or both. For a smutty one-shot, I'd recommend An Excellent Suggestion (which has a one-shot sequel). For a swoonier longer fic with smut, I'd recommend either You Bring Me Home or my fake relationship Steve Rogers fic The One Thing You Can't See.

For fluff, An Unforeseen Outcome is a Loki one-shot with both fluff and a little emotional hurt/comfort. Interestingly, I've written more not-smut fluff for Loki than for any other character. I think I just want him to find connection and love and acceptance so much.

And if you are a fan of historical romance, I'd recommend either my Thomas Sharpe AU A Compromising Situation, or if you like your fics with a healthy dose of angst, Beside Us When Beauty Brightens, my William Buxton (Return to Cranford) story about what happens after he loses Peggy.

Which Story did you do the most research for?

A Pursuit of the Heart, since it was my first one set in the Georgian era and I had a lot of catching up to do! I research for most of my stories, and definitely for my multi-chapter stories. Even if they're contemporary, I still look up resorts, locations, restaurants and local foods, things to do, etc. I can't help it. It's like I'm addicted to research.

Which Story was the easiest to write?

For a multi-chapter fic, In A Restless World Like This Is. For a one-shot, probably my Loki Christmas fluff All I Want For Christmas Is You.

The Writing Process

What is your favorite part of writing?

When a scene I've had in my head just flies out of my fingers and onto the page, and I can read it back and think, "YES! That's just how I wanted it!"

What is your least favorite part?

When my brain is too scattered and unfocused to actually allow me to do any writing.

Describe your style in 1 to 2 sentences.

Well-researched stories that use the information to make you feel like you're there and that incorporate sweetness into even the smuttiest scenario. Also, food porn, and porn porn.

Who are some of your writing idols and/or influences?

For published novels, Mary Balogh and Sabrina Jeffries are two of my favorite historical romance writers, and I think that reading them has helped to make my writing better. In terms of fic authors (some of whom are also published), @nildespirandum and @caffiend-queen were two of the first I read in the Tom/Loki fandom and their excellent quality and intriguing plots are an inspiration, even if I will never be able to write plots as twisty as theirs. Also, reading @yespolkadotkitty's stories helped me push myself to get better at setting scenes and at incorporating the various senses into stories, because she is so good at both of those things and so much else.

What programs do you use to write and/or edit?

I use Google Docs. I have also been dancing around buying Scrivener for an original novel I plan to write and shop around, so I'll be doing that soon.

Are you a plotter or a pantser?

Plotter, for sure. My brain would implode if I tried to pants my stories.

Do you write RPF or not?

I have a few chapters of a Tom Hiddleston RPF in draft form but haven't proceeded with it. I'd kind of like to write a Pedro Pascal RPF one-shot. I love reading RPF but feel odd about writing it for some reason.

Who is your favorite character to write and why?

Again with the tough questions! It might be Loki, because he is such a chameleon and there are so many hidden depths to him. I really want to write some multi-chapter Loki stories, because so far I have done one-shots and one 3-chapter short fic. I'd like to explore a longer character arc for him.

What do you think are your writing strengths?

Authenticity because of my research, realistically depicting emotions, and writing in a style that feels genuine to the setting and era.

What do you struggle with?

PLOT. I do think that there is plenty of room for all kinds of stories, and I like to tell stories about relationships. But I would like to get better at adding outside conflict and other types of plot to my stories.

Favorite Trope?

It's so hard to choose between There Was Only One Bed and Fake Relationship. I think those are my top two.

What is the best piece of writing advice you have heard?

Write something. Anything. Even if you think it's crap, get your first draft done, because you can always go back and rewrite something that's bad and make it better. Also, if you're stuck on your WIP, write something else - a piece of another story or one-shot, a description of something you saw, a character profile, a bit of personal journaling. Keep writing and don't let a temporary roadblock turn into a long-term one.

What would you say to a new fanfic writer starting out?

It's hard when something you wrote doesn't get a lot of attention, especially when you love it. We share stories in the hopes that other people will discover and enjoy them, but you have to at least partly do it for your own satisfaction, or it will get pretty discouraging if the likes/kudos, comments, and reblogs just don't happen.

What is a random bit of research you have not managed to work into a fic yet?

Ladies' drawers (underwear) were not commonly worn until the mid-1800s. They were thought to be gentlemen's garments and it was thus vulgar for a lady to wear them. Yes, ladies of the Georgian (incl. Regency) era were generally commando beneath their skirts, petticoats, and shifts. But that was still a lot of layers.

Any goals or WIPs you want to share?

My goal is to write an original novel (series) set during the Napoleonic Wars. My hope is to get it researched, written, and put in final draft form so that I can send query letters out before the end of 2021.

This or That

Fluff or Angst

Fluff AND Smut

Reader Insert or OC

Canon Divergent or AU

Pepsi or Coke (Neither: Cherry Coke Zero)

Coffee or Tea (Neither: Cocoa)

Sweet AND Savory

And that is it, until next week, remember to check out the masterlist here. And your new fav fic is just around the corner! Until next time, toodles!

#writer's spotlight #myoxisbroken #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston fanfiction #loki #loki fanfiction

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jasperlion · 4 years

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[ some waffling and putting thoughts to paper on the campaign. Wasn’t going to actually post it, but I want my drafts clear u_u so here I go

Not relevant to any blog existing au ]

You’re a boy in a town that tries to look good to survive. You don’t know where you came from or who left you, but you know who saved you and fed you when you needed it most. Under his roof, you think you’ve thrived, and that’s enough. Some favors here and there, keeping his business clean, ending to clients and working to earn your keep. Life’s alright, you have friends (even if some have left, and you don’t know why), and even if they’re a little dumb about their feelings for each other, you love them very much. Your parental figures care for you, all of them, and you care for them in turn — this is all you’ve known, and you think it’s all you’ll need. Asking for more feels selfish, wondering why some things just don’t feel right feels fruitless, so you smile and you support those who have stayed around you and their effort to quietly, thanklessly, keep the Fort safe. Life is good.

------

You’ll become your own man soon, a grown up in the eyes of the law, and so Clive trusts you to keep the Shack safe while everyone else has gone. A werewolf breaks in, and suddenly your life has changed. Your friends still love you, they go with you to what could be dangerous regardless, but you let them down in trying to protect them when forces that cannot harm you harm them instead, yet somehow the pain takes you under to the land of dreams. You have a vision of pain and a light, of old faces impassive at your hurt. You awaken and find the monsters you’ve been told are dangerous by your makeshift family not only hurt your friends, but heal them too. They’re sorry about it, they’re kind about it. It doesn’t take long to connect the dots — the mounted werewolves in the shack, the stuffed corpse that was stolen, were the living one’s family, yet he doesn’t hate you for a crime you never committed. The light that harms from your dreams appears in the distance, it leads you to an old friend, to new ones, and your world is upside down. There’s good monsters, there’s bad monsters. One of them just proposed to another, who proclaimed the world was ending (what was that about?). You band with the good monsters to stop another’s rampage, and you tell your old friend’s dad of your vision. His cryptic response makes you think. Yet upon your return home, Lukas says they’re all dangerous people, bad people. He reminds you of the plague in the monsters, that Saber and Clive do not get along, and that you should never see them again. You never tell him you promised to. For the first time, you feel you can’t tell him everything. You begin to understand why Celica and Conrad had to leave. Maybe it’s why Faye and Kliff had to leave, too. At the very least, Lukas says he’ll deal with Clive about the stolen stuffed werewolf for you.

Gray and Tobin don’t remember what happened the night before. They tell you of a story that never happened yesterday, and Gray describes having seen some of the people you met yesterday perfectly. He describes Celica. You wonder if it means you’ll see her again, and you wonder if she’s the one who messed with their memory. You decide not to tell them about last night. For the nth time, you feel you can’t tell them everything. Gray is still being stupid about how he feels about Tobin. Tobin is probably being stupid about how he feels about Gray. It’s stressful, but the usual. Somehow, it stresses you out more than it usually does that they’re this dense, but maybe you’ve talked some sense into Gray. Sudden pains like an inner burning fire send you to the land of dreams. You see Clive. He tries to kill you as the people in a town you’ve never been ignore your plight. You hope this dream does not become real, like the light did. You awaken in your own room, your very first room. Python and Forsyth married, you remember, and Lukas told you they got a house. Lukas told you they wanted you to live with them. You thank them, you tell them not to worry— you feel better, the scare at Gray’s is gone now. It’s not the truth, and you wonder when you became such a liar.

You’re late to the meeting with Saber and the others, the dream and sickness made it so. The man who shot Gray the day before is still angry— Saber told you his name was Leon. The werewolf still looks pretty sad, he doesn’t talk very much. Celica’s not here, but it sounds like they know her. Like they work for her. You worry for her, it sounds like whatever she’s up to is very important... very much not something someone your age should be involved in. You’re told the monster you defeated is still out there, it could hurt people. You need to lure it, capture it, maybe save it. The plague can be cured. Suddenly, what your family does feels unnecessary. Cruel, almost. One of your friends there is like you, she lives with Monster Hunters, but unlike you, she is one too. The other says she’s God and you have no way to refute her. You wonder if it’s true. Maybe it is, God doesn’t know what straight is. The two men who proposed to each other the day before aren’t there, and you wonder if they’re alright. You tell Saber of your dream again, and he tells you it won’t happen. From the glint in his eye, you hope it won’t spark a fight that will end in tragedy.

For levity, you suggest a place that you think is funny to lure the monster to. Surprisingly, everyone agrees. You meet there in the dead of night, and maybe have a little laugh at Catria because she brought her horse. You see Conrad again, but you can’t even reunite properly, because he can’t save the monster and it makes him upset. God tries to do it. She kills the monster. Before you can process what it means, God’s brother appears, and they bring it back. You wonder if God and her brother could bring back the werewolf’s family. The monster man is healed from the plague, but he doesn’t have clothes. It’s a little embarrassing. You treat him to dinner. God finally knows what straight is, and everything that isn’t (she says she’s pan). The waters feel more muddled now. A part of you wonders if you’re not what you thought you were.

------

You know Berkut is throwing the biggest Halloween party this year in town. That means you’re not invited, he’s still mad about chess. You don’t mind, really, but your plans to just stay with Gray and Tobin for the night are turned upside down when they both get sick. You decide not to meddle in that mess. Unexpectedly, you’ve been invited to the werewolf’s house. Saber lets you know, on one of your morning walks in the woods. You think Valbar is nice to invite you, and accept, even if you don’t know how to get there. Saber tells you he’ll pick you up. When the day arrives, you dress like the men in black after some consideration, thinking it’ll be a funny joke. When Saber picks you up, you realized he lied about not knowing where Faye and Kliff went. Kliff is there, in the car. He’s dressed up just like you, and you catch up on your way there. He’s been traveling, he says, and he wants to travel more. You realize there’s more to this world than you’ve ever known, you realize there’s places just for people like him and Celica. You wonder why they’re letting you in, when your family hunts people like them. A part of you wonders if you’re also one of them. You dismiss it because of what it could mean.

You say hello to everyone you see at the party. There’s new people there, but there’s people you know, too. The men who proposed don’t come, but Catria brought friends, and the man who had the plague has company now (maybe he remembered who he was?). Celica isn’t here, but her brother is, and Saber left after he dropped you and Kliff off. You say a brief hello to those present, then instead focus on the host (Leon still looks like he hates you, though). You hug Valbar. He lost his family to yours. You tell him you wish his wife still wasn’t on display in the Shack. You don’t ask what he did with the body he stole of his child, it’s not your business anymore. Instead you talk with him a little more. He tells you that you’re getting into the spirit of things by dressing as a person. You decide not to understand what it implies, and instead tell him he looks good in his costume of Billy Ray. He insists the men in black aren’t real, you think it’s funny.

Catria collapses suddenly while you’re saying hello to the man who no longer has the plague (his name is Ezekiel?), and you hurry over. Corrin saved her, says something about a demon, and you wonder what it means.

A little girl bursts in, followed by her brother. She says her name’s Delthea, and she’s friends with Valbar. She’s here for candy and wanted to read fortunes to ‘practice’. She claims she’s God, and that Celica is too, along with the lady who was holding hands with Catria earlier (Sonya?). You wonder if it means Corrin and her know each other. They don’t. You’re not sure what any of this means. Delthea likes you because you’re friends with Celica. She reads your cards, and you wonder what some of them mean, while others make sense. ... Your dread returns. She reads the cards of other people present. They seem unnerved by the result. Delthea leaves after you remind her there’s more trick or treating to do. She leaves with her brother. He doesn’t seem to like Leon much in particular, and is very mean. Leon leaves the house. Catria, her sister and the red-haired lady leave afterwards. You’re worried about Leon, he looked upset, and Conrad says he’s scared to follow and doesn’t know what to do. He tells you what you know (Leon hates you), you promise to try to fix it. Conrad is a dear friend to you, Leon is his friend. You’d rather be on good terms than bad. You decide to follow Leon.

You see things you wish you hadn’t. You learn a truth that hurts to the core. The people you looked up to are murderers. Killers. That boy was innocent. He just wanted to show the boy he loved something beautiful. You feel Leon is right to hate you. Those people feed you, they clothed you, they raised you. And they hurt others for a price tag— Clive hurts others for a price tag. Forsyth pulled that trigger. Lukas looked for the item that kept him looking human and revealed him. Python let Leon go. Leon showed you his past and thought you were in it. You tell him your truth and listen to his. Together, you watch the horizon and the town beneath the mountain, the town where you live. You both cry. When Leon feels better, he walks away. A shadow near him disappears. You hope it means something good.

You return to Valbar’s house. You’re not sure how long you cry. At least Kliff is there.

But then you feel like you don’t fit inside the house. Like something is burning inside. Your arms hurt again, your head hurts again, and you politely detach from Kliff to go outside. Something’s wrong.

Valbar comes to see you. He somehow makes it better. Maybe he knows what’s wrong with you. You’re too scared to ask. Instead you focus on the news he brings to you:

Celica’s going to the dance. She’s invited you to go with her. You accept.

------

You’re told about what happened while you were with Leon (and crying). It sounds like something out of a scary B movie. Corrin invites you to the house of the guy she’s living with (Subaki was his name, right?). They have 14 children now. You’re not sure what to make of it. The one named Owain is kind of funny. It sounded unbelievable, but seeing them in person really does bring it home that they lived in a mineshaft for so long. All their life, maybe?

Corrin says she has something to talk to us about. It’s just Catria, Conrad, Saber, Leon and yourself. Owain is here, too.

She tells you of her Father, of creation and what she knows and remembers. You’re not sure how to feel about the fact that you are apparently within the dream of a God that’s been sealed within it. You’re not even sure how it works. He sounds bad. Corrin loves him very much. Suddenly, you’re reminded of how you feel about Clive. You’re reminded of what you’ve been thinking about since last night. Crying about since last night.

Catria talks to herself. She tells everyone of a lizard that whispers mean things to her. You tell her to tell it that it’s stinky, and it suddenly shows itself. You feel like it’s your fault. You realize the demon is the lizard.

It taunts everyone. It tells Corrin her father is angry. Leon hits the lizard when he’s mean to you with a book. Corrin stabs it, and it screams and screams. There’s blood on Corrin. Conrad’s freaking out. Catria’s trying to keep Corrin standing — she’s been hurt. You react without thinking. You want it to stop. So you slice it’s head off.

Corrin collapses. The Lizard’s head rolls away. You almost killed Corrin. The thought mortifies you. All you can do is comfort Conrad so he can save what you broke. Owain is crying. Catria takes the speaking head outside.

Corrin is better. Catria says she has to hurry home.

All this time, it asked things. Who it is. Where people are. If anyone know them. Something tells you not to answer it. You wonder if it’s any use.

At least, before Catria leaves, it disappears.

Conrad still looks pale. Corrin looks like death, but she’s okay now. You leave with Leon. Saber takes Conrad home.

Suddenly, Leon turns the car around.

He takes a girl from Subaki’s barn. One of the 14 children. Her name is Nah. You ask why, and he asks you why you only ask him and not Saber. You wonder if Saber takes children regularly. He tells you he took her because she’s ‘like us’.

Leon has confirmed your fears. You don’t know how to feel. He says there’s one more detour to go before he takes you home.

Leon brings the girl to Valbar’s. They tell her she’ll be incredible, that she will become something great. You decide to follow just to say hello. You still feel bad about Valbar’s family.

The girl follows you when you head back to the car.

She says you’re like her. She says she has a lot of time to find out if she likes waterfalls. You don’t like what this means. You smile for her anyway. She won’t tell you what you are.

Nah tells you that you will know.

You spend the night looking through the books in the Shack about encountered monsters.

------

You spend the rest of the week looking through those books when no one’s around. You find no answers that feel right.

There’s no one you feel you can talk to. Not without any worry. You never know when you’ll see Saber next. Leon rightfully hates your family, speaking to him about your fears would only upset him. The same goes for Valbar. Conrad is emotional, you don’t want to burden him. Gray and Tobin don’t even know people like you exist. You don’t know where Celica, Kliff and Faye are. Catria’s family hunts monsters, and Catria has an evil lizard following her. Corrin has enough on her plate. Your family... You don’t trust them anymore.

The Shack disgusts you now. It has been disgusting you for a while. You have laid flowers at the feet of Valbar’s wife when no one else is around ever since you learned who she was, but now it’s hard to even go to do it.

It’s hard to look at your family. You wonder if they know something is wrong. You wonder if they know you’re a not like them.

You wonder if you were taken from your real family. Raised like a crocodile for leather. You wonder if Lukas thinks the same of you as he thinks of others like you. You think he’s right. You almost killed Corrin. It haunts you even now.

You wonder if Python would save you, if you were in Leon’s shoes. You wonder if Forsyth would shoot you if Clive told him to. You wonder if you’re in Clive’s ledger, if there’s money under your name.

These thoughts and more plague you all week.

The day of the dance arrives. It’s the only thing that’s kept you getting up in the mornings.

------

You wear your best tie, shirt and pants — good enough to dance in, and good enough that you won’t look like a fool. You don’t want to let Celica down, you’re her plus one. Clive lends you his boots. Something about them, aside from the fact that they’re a size too big, makes you feel discomfort.

You don’t mind that she’s not here yet. Saber, Leon and Conrad are. They let you know she’s getting ready with some friends.

Around you, you can see a lot of tables. Corrin brought some kids, and you wonder if you’ll get to say hello to Nah. Palla and Catria are there too, but not the redhead that you were so sure was Palla’s girlfriend. Maybe she’s sick today. Corrin’s brother isn’t here again. Neither is her boyfriend.

Conrad looks a little silly, you think, in that hoodie. Gray passes by you with a wink, and you watch in horror as he spikes the punch with tequila. Before you can stand to admonish him, though, Tobin approaches and asks you to come with.

You tell your friends at the table to avoid the punch. You’re sure Saber won’t listen.

Tobin tells you he thinks he’s married. He explains what he means after your outburst. You guide Tobin through his thoughts. You make him promise to talk about his feelings with Gray, all you have to do in return is talk about yours with Celica— maybe hold her hand. It’s easy to agree to those terms. You see him off, then head back to the table.

You catch Delthea as she leaves the table in a hug. You tell her to take care and watch in horror as she heads to the punch table. Your calls for her to not do that are ignored, and you decide it’s for the best if you don’t meddle. (You’ll regret that)

Leon seems bothered. He leaves after a short chat. You consider following him, you’re worried about him. You don’t want to make Celica wait for you. When you ask Conrad, he says he won’t follow. You decide to leave things alone. (You’ll regret that)

She arrives with two of her friends. You’ve seen them before, they had been in Saber’s car, when you saw the light and met Ezekiel as a blob monster. She says they’re Mae and Boey, and they argue a lot. She thinks it’s funny, and you think it’s funny, too. She says it’s been a while, you give her a hug. When she hugs you back, it feels like things will be alright.

She gives you a corsage to pin to your clothes. You think it’s the cutest thing. It makes your colors match with hers. You thank her and tell her you like it. She holds your hand, you hold it in turn.

Mae and Boey continue to argue. Celica teases Conrad about his hoodie, and you laugh with her over it. Everything would be alright, the world feels perfect. You want to dance with her.

Berkut arrives, and not even he can bring down your good mood. He tries to jeer, but it feels like this time his words hold no weight. You and Celica laugh him out, he leaves with Rinea in his arm. You feel a little bad for her, she looked like she didn’t want to be there, so you give her a friendly wave when she looks back.

Python comes by. He warns you of who you’re with. That Clive will be angry if he sees. You decide you can’t abide by the warning, and would prefer to stay. He gives you a backpack. It has his clothes in it.

You wonder why he gave it to you, but you thank him anyway. There’s a Diviners jacket in there. You remember it’s Subaki’s group, and you wonder if he’s joined it.

Python gives Saber a big, thick book. Your stomach drops at the sight, more so when Saber pages through it. You ask to see it anyway. You recognize it right away. Unable to bear the thought of what you may find within his ledger of death, you close it and slide it back. Names, locations, prices... it’s all there. You hate the thought of its existence. But it can help. It can save others. It’s better left in Saber’s hands.

Out of sight, out of mind.

Conrad’s been under the table, he slid down there while Python was still around. He scrambles back out, and shadows follow him. Ghosts. You feel you should probably be scared, but you feel more sorry than anything. One of them is the boy you saw Forsyth shoot in Leon’s memory, you know because you recognize his voice.

He says Leon was looking for a chance. He’s found one now. Your stomach drops.

Clive’s hand grasps your shoulder, clamps down, hard.

Things aren’t okay anymore.

Even if you look up to him and nerves jump out your throat, you refuse to leave the table. You refuse to let go of Celica’s hands, and you desperately try to find how to salvage the situation.

When you try to tell him they’re good people, and things are okay, Corrin suddenly hits Clive over the head. She tries to overpower him. You stand to try and stop this from getting worse.

A shot rings out.

Lukas has a gun on his hands. Leon is on the ground. You can’t think anymore. You scream in anger and rage and sorrow. You want Lukas to stay away from Leon, you don’t want Lukas to hurt Leon anymore. You want to push him away. It’s that thought that drives you forward, and everything is a blurr.

Lukas is against a broken wall. He says he’s sorry, and passes out. Conrad shambles forward. Leon is on the floor. You don’t know what to do, you don’t know how to react, you can’t think.

Conrad is on Lukas. You can’t think.

Lukas is dead.

You toss Conrad away from him. Python is there. You have to take Lukas to Corrin. You have to take Leon to Corrin. You remember Ezekiel. You believe it can happen again.

You take them to Corrin. It doesn’t occur to you that people should not fit in your hands. Corrin is distracted with Clive, so you make sure Clive can’t leave.

You wait to see Lukas come back.

...

Lukas isn’t coming back.

Tears won’t stop. He’s not coming back. He’s gone. You never said sorry. You hurt him. He was right about you. You’re a monster. Saber leaves. He must think you’re evil. Celica disappears with her friends. She thinks it’s her fault. You’re sure she hates you. You’re bad. You did this. You hurt your family. You scared your friends away.

Leon is still hurt. He asks for Conrad. You don’t really care right now, but you look for him anyway. It’s scarily easy to lift him, dangle him over Leon. Conrad stops moving, you set him down beside Leon.

You nudge Lukas. You cry over him. Python’s here.

He tells you not to cry. You cry harder. He cries with you.

He doesn’t hate you.

You’re now aware of how much your body hurts. You are aware now of how big you are. Your body feels foreign. Your body feels right. Your nose nudges Python. He tells you he’s sorry.

You don’t know if you can talk. You cry instead.

Clive claims Corrin killed Lukas. You killed Lukas, you set off the events that lead to his death. It makes you cry harder. Python quits. He leaves after telling you he loves you. It feels hollow against your crime. You believe him anyway. Even now, you trust Python. He takes Forsyth. He was passed out and you did not notice.

You don’t like that Corrin and Clive are fighting. You don’t like that Catria is pointing a gun, but you think if she shot you, you deserved it. You don’t know how to explain what she’s asking. You cry. Corrin does for you. What she says isn’t making sense. You wish you could explain.

Clive says he loves you. You want to believe it. Clive tells Corrin she should not kill a father in front of his child. Hope blooms in your chest that he still sees you as family. You release him under his promise, and he disappears.

You wonder if he’s lied about the rest.

All that remains is a handful of friends you hope don’t hate you and a corpse. You wish you could disappear. Suddenly, you’re as small as you feel.

Catria lifts you on her shoulder. You hope it means she and her sister don’t hate you, you like them a lot. They carry the bag with the clothes, Conrad lifts Lukas. You want to cry again. You do.

You need to go to the station. You need to meet with Saber. He didn’t leave you behind. You have to leave Lukas somewhere.

With immense guilt, his body is taken to Python’s house. With Conrad’s guidance, you regain your human form. For a moment, there’s darkness. You see a train that goes faster and faster until it crashes into a town. You snap awake. You let them know. They don’t believe you. You’ve never told them of your dreams before, have you?

Your human form is not so human anymore. Your body hurts so much. All of your new scales feel like pinpricks. It’s painful to walk. You do it anyway. You do anything anyway. You deserve to feel pain after the pain you inflicted.

Socks and shoes don’t fit. You have to be careful not to claw the pants, shirt and jacket. The floor is cold. You deserve to walk on it like that. You dimly realize you probably lost the present Celica got for you. It makes you feel a little worse.

You think Python should hate you when he opens the door to see the body again. You should have left it where he had died. Now you have made Python and Forsyth accomplices. The guilt gets worse. At least he lets you have a belt. You know they can’t stay here long. You fear what will become of them.

But you have to go. Corrin said Saber was at the station.

You bid Python farewell and hope it’s not the last time you see them. You wonder if he gave you clothes because he knew what you were. You wonder if everyone knew except for you.

You’re not sure what you are. Some sort of big dinosaur monster that can become very small. It’s hard to adjust to the tail. It feels wrong to walk as you do.

Questions that can wait. You can’t stay. You’re a monster.

You meet Saber. You board the train. For a moment, you want to be alone. Conrad feels awful. You feel even worse. You started it, and you say it so. You don’t think he heard you. Maybe no one heard you. That’s okay.

But it bothers you. You need to walk. You need to tell Saber of your dream. You need to make sure it doesn’t happen. You’re in pain, you’ve done wrong, maybe this time you can make things right for everyone. You tell Saber. He tells you not to worry. You take a walk anyway.

You find a body on the next cart.

He’s dead. He’s a target. He’s a stranger. You call for help, but no one comes. You call again. Saber arrives. The train’s speed up, you both run to the conductor’s cabin.

It’s locked. Saber can’t lockpick it. You burst in. The town’s in sight, the controls are busted, no one is in there.

It’s the end. All you can do is cover Saber with your body.

A lady in white stands before you in a void.

She tells you to try again.

You find yourself in the train station.

You’re a monster cast out of your hometown. An evil. You’ve brought harm.

But you can at least try to save everyone.

#the world revolves and i dont know my place in it | motw #once upon a time | drabble #[ Long post ]#[ this isn't relevant to anything on the blog just that its a decent place to put these thoughts down bc the wholeass squad is on tungle rp #... or was (looks at mo). Jk mo ilu ]#messed w pov #brain: call it 'ballad of the dragon boy'

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sauntervaguelydown · 5 years

Note

This probably is gonna sound a bit weird, but i was reading over some old hannapoc stuff and started wondering: what are your thoughts on Lamont? In the larger plot he's not really in focus, but he has a pretty interesting place in the narrative, and that recent thing with him and his niece really got to me :,)

Hey! That’s not weird, we’re all having a bit of a nostalgia trip here.

It has been a really long time since I was writing UIS, though. I remember when I was brainstorming it I had decided to narrow down the cast and Lamont was the first person I took off the roster, in part because I just didn’t know him that well and didn’t think that trying to write him would improve the story. But I ended up writing him anyway, and Lamont is one of the many characters who I got to know in the process of writing him, and he quickly became much more important to the AU than I ever expected him to be.

I guess I kinda fridged Lamont? Haha. He mostly matters to the story based on how his relationship with Worth affects things. His death catalyzes Worth into admitting that he doesn’t want to lose anyone else he cares about, which requires him to admit to himself that he cares about Conrad.

Pretty much from the end of writing UIS, I had this idea in my head that the prophetic dreams Worth experiences are the result of Lamont haunting him—that’s the real Lamont in his dreams, of course, not just a memory. I must have read that young!worth bonus comic a thousand times, trying to figure out what their relationship was like. In the hannapoc canon, Worth took the fall for Lamont when Lamont ran afoul of the wrong people—literally, he murdered someone to protect Lamont. At the start of Hannapoc Worth is the only cast member who has actually killed a living, vanilla human being.

Lamont is... hm. Lamont in this AU is defined by his relationships to other people, which.... I think is how it often goes with The Dead. They leave a ghost in the way that people still reach for them, a mirror of who they were. A fractured total that isn’t quite the sum of who they were.

I think of his friendship with Worth as being a core of something genuine all padded and insulated with this antagonism-as-caring thing that is particularly masculine. I also think of him as having a relationship with Adelaide that was.... while they didn’t see each other very often, they had been through a couple really intense experiences together, and they were very familiar with each other. Adelaide wanted to Keep Him, and Lamont was understandably wary of that. Lamont and Liv were surprisingly close, and Lamont enabled Liv to escape the sometimes smothering protectiveness of Worth. I think that there was almost something romantic between them, in that confused way that close teenage friends often feel potential energy hovering around them. It didn’t go anywhere.

I guess how I feel about Lamont is that he’s always present in the story even when no one is talking about him, and that’s a cool unexpected thing that developed without my intention.

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little-writings · 7 years

Text

A Calling Card (Jumin x MC)

Victorian!AU: A friend of yours ‘introduces’ you to a certain person you met the night before.

Word Count: 1195

I haven’t done much aside from laying around, but it’s been fun. Anyhow, I hope you have a lovely day and enjoy!

Other Victorian!AU prompts:

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You woke the next morning, a low knock emanating from your bedroom door as you sleepily raised your head.

A warmth rustled in your chest, memories of the night before sticking to your mind like plaster as a dreamy smile drew to your lips.

And you wouldn't have it any other way.

“...Yes?”

A gentle voice came from the other side. “Your family friend, Duke Jihyun Kim is on his way with another guest coming with him. I suggest you begin to dress yourself mayhaps?”

You sloppily processed their words the realization finally clicking into your head, gasping as you scrambled to your feet, messily putting yourself together. Having all gracefulness from the night before seemingly disappearing as you rushed to get ready.

“T-Thank you!” You muttered, hearing the smallest bit of laughter as you staggered and stumbled from the other side of the door.

Eventually you erupted from your room running pushing a few strands that fell out of place back as you raced down the stairs into the parlor.

“A-Am I early?”

The same person as earlier, examined from the window, barely pulling out the curtains and grinning slightly.

“You’re just in time.”

You let out a sigh of relief, nearly collapsing into the sofa before you.

“Thank you, Conrad.”

The butler dipped his head graciously, making his way to the hall.

“Of course ma’am, shall we say hello?”

You nodded, following him to the front door, opening it to reveal your dear friend, a warming gaze behind his darkened glasses.

Jihyun ‘V’ Kim was a family friend of yours, the two of your families especially interacting plenty with only the small separation of status.

“Good morning, Duke Kim,” He gave a bow, glancing towards the figure behind him. “And your guest...?”

“Oh!” V lightly laughed stepping back to reveal him. “Forgive me, this is Duke Jumin Han, we both came from Korea together.”

Your jaw dropped.

His soft grin grew into a beam as he saw you, his eyes lighting up as he bowed.

Your heart nearly erupted from your chest, feeling as if fireworks had burst into the sky.

“Good morning.”

“Jumin, this is Countess MC, her father is the Earl of the county.”

You curtsied, holding back laughter. “Yes, we met last night I believe.”

Jumin nodded, raising a hand to his cheek as pink dusted his features. “Yes, last night can’t seem to leave my head.”

“I couldn’t agree more...”

V raised a curious brow, slipping his hands into his pockets.

“Yes, well it seems you both got along very nicely?” He snickered. “I was wondering why Jumin couldn’t stop smiling. I think it may be the first time I’ve seen such a thing.”

“Perhaps miracles do exist!” He shrugged, beginning to stroll to the parlor, Conrad standing patiently with a tray of steaming tea rising from the cups.

You waited as Jumin rounded toward you, a tender glint in his eyes.

“I think last night proved that to be true.”

“I...I think so too.”

His face flushed as the three of you sat down, humming a small thanks to Conrad as you took your tea.

“So, V what’s honored me with your visit?” You asked, tipping your head curiously.

“Ah, yes. Do you know of Hyun or Zen as he likes to be called, the actor?”

“Yes, I do!” You exclaimed. “I thought he did quite well in his performance of Hamlet.” You laughed. “My mother thinks he’d ought to be sculpted.”

“He’d like that actually.” V sniggered. “But, what I’m wondering is if you’d like to join my friends and I to his debut in the play Romeo and Juliet? It’ll be a delightful time I’m sure.”

You gave a mock sort of contemplation, tapping your chin. “Does that fit into my schedule...yes! I’d love to join you.”

A bit of excitement slipped onto Jumin’s expression.

“Wonderful! If you’re free once again this Saturday, I’m sure she’d like to attend your derby!”

Your eyes widened to the size of saucers, gasping.

“Wait-you’re a jockey?”

“I-I’m not-not really.” He confessed, sheepishly. “It’s just a hobby, truthfully. You shouldn’t force yourself to go if you don’t want to it’s just a small race-”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world!” You cried, almost jumping from your seat.

“I-I mean, if you want me to.”

He melted in moments, his shoulders dropping comfortably as he spoke.

“It would do me no greater honor.” He replied. “I can’t describe the joy I’ll feel seeing you cheering me on.”

You felt compelled to take his hand, or the embrace him.

Every word he uttered to you was laced with such fondness you could hardly believe it.

Even now, with his stare softer than silk as it aimed to you, left butterflies once again fluttering in your stomach.

“Well, I suppose you better get to practicing then shouldn’t you? I have some matters to attend to as well.”

V approached you, giving an affectionate squeeze to your shoulder as though something about you was fading in his mind that he desperately wished for a reminder of.

Yet he smiled, and your worries washed away as you gave him a brief hug.

“Until we meet again.” He murmured, an odd sadness as he avoided meeting your gaze.

He wouldn’t hide something from you, though.

Right?

Rubbish! You thought. He would never, you should be ashamed!

Your attention was shifted however as Jumin came to you, taking your hand, as delicately as someone would hold the most precious thing in their life.

He raised it to his lips, pressing a chaste kiss between your knuckles.

“Friday cannot come fast enough.” He hummed, following behind V as you watched them begin to leave.

Yet as Conrad held the door, giving his goodbyes, you noticed Jumin slip something onto his tray whispering something in the old man’s ear.

As the door shut, the butler turned to you, examining the card before handing it to your promptly.

“I’m sure you saw that. But it’s from Mr. Han, it seems he’d like to meet with you again before the play.”

The card had the top right corner bent, forget-me-not flowers clustered in the center, a dove resting leisurely upon them, writing beside it.

‘It would do me a great honor, if you would meet me at my estate this Wednesday- JH”

Resting above was his address, an elegant curl to his words.

“Conrad?”

“Yes, ma’am?”

“Please clear my schedule for Wednesday.”

“Of course.”

And as he walked away, the biggest smile that had even graced your face came to life.

And the butterflies in your stomach soared.

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