#i went and looked at this blog for old times sake and was instantly ATTACKED
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Sonally Celebration Week, Year 3, Day 2: Mystery
Day two has come for the celebration of one of the best furry OTP’s ever~. @gojira007 ‘s celebration blog @boundforfreedomsonsal of Sonic and Sally continues and here’s my second entry. Enjoy all~
Sonsally Week, Year Three!!
Day 02: Mystery
Foreword: This episode is still set in the Archie-Verse depicted in my fics of last year and day one’s story. This one is set some years after the fall of Eggman, when peaceful times finally settled on Mobius for the first time in ages. Of course, peace doesn’t always equate to ‘easy’, especially when babysitting two spirited scamps.
“Sonia, Manic- WHERE THE FREAKING BLEEP ARE YOU?!!” Shouted an irate, and clearly frustrated blue hedgehog as his right eye twitched something horribly. Standing in the town-square of the rebuilt Knothole Village, his gaze shifting back and forth from the trees, and the various huts of the quiet village. While mostly destroyed during one of Dr. Eggman’s devastating attacks; the entire village was rebuilt as it was during the war era of fighting the original Robotnik. With a few Eggman era buildings kept, and one or two new additions. Knothole was mainly a tribute to the village that sheltered the survivors of the fall of the original Mobotropolis, and became home of the resistance that would become the Freedom Fighters. Mostly a standing all-may-come museum to pay homage to the place that started as a Royal Retreat/shelter, but became so much more. A few of the huts were still livable, home away from home for certain members of the Freedom Fighters who occasionally would return to Knothole with their families to celebrate and remember those days.
Today, it was host to a game of hide and seek, giving the two instigators of the game a plethora of hiding places. One that was driving the elder brother of Sonia and Manic Hedgehog, one Sonic the Hedgehog, former hero of Mobius, crazy!
After tapping his foot rapidly for a scant few seconds, Sonic cupped his hands together again and shouted as loudly as he could manage. “MANIC! SONIA! FOR BLEEPING FRACK’S SAKE YOU BETTER GET YOUR BUTTS OUT WHERE I CAN SEE EM’! AIN’T FUNNY NO MORE!” It really wasn’t, Sonic nor his lovely wife, had agreed to hide and seek, but his two younger siblings opted to begin a game without anyone’s consent.
A voice soon called to him, followed by familiar footsteps. “Is there a reason you’re using frack and bleep? Is that a new sibling code of some sort Sonic?”
Speaking of lovely wife’s, there she was. Turning to face his wife, Sonic shrugged with a sheepish expression. “It was censor myself or risk using words I don’t think Mom nor Dad would care for two nine-year-olds to repeat.”
“That is probably for the best.” Agreed Sally, with a tired sigh as a hand went to her rounded stomach. She wasn’t far enough along in her own pregnancy; her movements were not hampered; but the extra weight of the two passengers in her belly was sapping her energy. “Whew, I’ve just been walking but I feel ready to kick back.”
Concerned, Sonic walked over and touched her shoulder. “All the more reason I’m not too happy they started this ‘game’ when I made it clear you can’t be as play-happy as usual because you’re pregnant.”
Shaking her head, Sally reached over to place her hand over his, giving an assuring squeeze as she managed a smile. “They’re just kids, it’s alright Sonic. They probably just want to get some last playtime with us before I’m truly an invalid.”
Sonic had to admit she had a point but his ire was not fully dissolved. “Maybe, but this is still too much. Even Mom n’ Dad told em’ to not get carried away.”
Smirking, Sally lifted an eyebrow as she glanced at her husband. “Sonic, they’re ‘your’ siblings. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. There seems to be an innate sass-o-meter in your family. Pushing buttons seems to be something of a religious doctrine.”
Opening his mouth to counter, Sonic slowly shut it, frowning deeply. “... Fair nuff, but I still say you’ve rubbed off on them if we’re going for sass influence.”
“ME?!” Sputtered Sally, an incredulous frown, forming over her face. Beautiful blue, eyes narrowing almost dangerously. “How pray tell, do I count as a bad influence toward Manic or Sonia?”
Smirking widely as he got her goat, Sonic yanked the chain more, counting off with his fingers. “Well again, you’re the Queen of Sass and not just the Kingdom. When you gotta be right, you will argue til’ the cows come home. Plus you’re good at being playful when you want something, Manny’s baby-of-the-family routine is killer thanks to watching you. N’ Sonia’s all about emulating her Sis-in-law’s fancy mannerisms, and silver tongue. Just the other day she was in trouble and convinced Mom to let her off the hook light with a buncha big words she got from you.”
Almost mirroring Sonic, Sally opened her mouth, then closed it as she thought better of it. “...Touche’, but that doesn’t excuse the bad habits you’ve given them love-of-my-life.”
Laughing, Sonic gave her a big, if careful hug. Letting her have that one as, one it was true, and two, he knew jerking her around too much with hormones a-flame was a bad idea. “Of course, of course, but they also picked up on my coolness factor.”
“Truly…” Replied Sally in a dull, drawl that spoke volumes of how little she believed that. “I just hope our own bundles give us something of a break compared to these two. I can see why your parents are all-too-eager for us to babysit when we can.”
“Knowing us, they’ll drive us insane cuz they’ll be just like us in ways, but we’ll love em’ anyway.” Sonic mused, placing a hand to her belly and leaning in to kiss her gently. Sighing in a content manner, Sally melted into the kiss and hug, feeling a bit of the weight of impending motherhood ease off her shoulders to a degree.
Almost as if on cue, a duo of childish voices are heard uttering, “Eeeew gross!”
Instantly, both Sally and Sonic broke the kiss, angled their heads upward, and pointed as they both cried out in triumphant unison. “AH-HA! THERE YOU TWO SCAMPS ARE!”
“Aw crude!” Muttered Manic, as he and his sister clung to one of the large tree branches, quite a ways up that was connected to one of the tree house type huts.
“Well we gave them the ghost for a good twenty-minutes I’d say we won.” Stated Sonia in a rather faux-haughty manner. The more purple-blue of the two, whipped back her-pink hair? Wait, Sonia was blonde! Plus some of her fur looked more magenta-purple now?
In fact, why was Manic’s fur and quills more of a green-ish tinge than the light-blue they should be? Not to mention that punk-esque quill style... Eyes narrowing, Sonic let go of Sally, zipped into the hollowed out large tree with a hut built around the base. With the same speed, he charged up the ladder within the hollowed out tree, allowing him to come out at the point where the tree-house hut was, and lean out where the landing gave way to a natural, thick tree branch.
“Oh no, you two did not!”
Putting on the best coy, innocent face he could, Manic twiddled his fingers together in a playful manner. “What’re you talking about Big-Bro?”
“Seriously Sonic, you need to use clear, concise words.” Snickered Sonia.
“You both dyed your hair and fur!” Sonic pointed between each sibling. “Mom’s gonna have kittens!” Growled their elder brother as his mind swam with images of a none-too-pleased Bernadette Hedgehog glaring at her son and daughter-in-law.
Arms crossed, Sally tapped her foot, in a manner not unlike her husband. “You two sneaks lost us to go and do the dye-jobs yourself didn’t you?”
“Maaaaaaaaaaaaaybe.” Both twins chorused.
Sighing Sally frowned more. “Manic, Sonia, you do realize your Mother and Father are going to tan the crap out of your hides. They both told you, neither of you could have such radical dye jobs until you were fifteen, thirteen at the earliest if you both proved responsible enough! Plus, Manic, sweetie, why are you intent on making yourself look like Scourge?!”
“Hey!” Manic cried indignantly, a pout forming on his lips. “I just like the color, it’s not my fault Sonic’s scrub of a doppelganger had the same color-job! It screams ‘me’! Plus I don’t have sharp teeth or those evil eyes like he does, plus my quills are cooler lookin!”
“I’ll give you that li’ bro, on the being cooler looking thing, but dam-er dang it!” Sonic grabbed his own head-quills, mussing them up some in frustration. “Urgh Mom n’ Dad ain’t gonna let us watch you two ever again if you pull crap like this again!”
“He’s right.” Sighed Sally, rather dramatically. “We’ll be seen as so irresponsible they will forbid us from ever seeing you again!” She put a hand to her heart, and the other against her head. Truly, piling on the dramatic flair. “They may even question if we’re fit to be parents ourselves and have our babies taken from us.”
While Sonia rolled her eyes, Manic’s went wide as panic took over his earlier nonchalant attitude. “R-really?! We don’t want that!”
“Manny, bro she’s trying to guilt us!”
“Well it’s working! I didn’t wanna get them in that deep of trouble!”
“Manic she’s the QUEEN!! Mom and Dad can’t do jack to her!” His (slighty) older twin argued, seeing her partner-in-crime was about to fold.
“Wanna bet?” Sonic crossed his arms, smirking fully as he saw the sliver of doubt in the two’s eyes. “Mom can be scary when she wants and Dad, Dad is aaaaaaaaaall about the ‘subtle, quiet big stick’ kind of approach.”
Now even Sonia was doubting if they’d gone too far, especially as it pertained to how much trouble this might land her and Manic. Maybe she underestimated her ability to talk her way out of trouble. “M-Maaaybe we got a little carried away?”
“You sure did you two scamps, now if you come with me down the tree, we might ‘might’ convince Mom and Dad to let you both stay the night, and we can wash out the dyes and treat your fur so they never notice.”
Nodding as they both climbed fast, but still safely across the branch to Sonic. The two younger hedgehogs cling onto his legs. “We give, we give!!”
“Smart choice!” Laughed Sally from the ground, smiling at the won tag-team victory of talking the kids into doing their bidding. “If you two behave onward, there might be my special ice cream sundaes after supper.”
“Really?!”
Maybe handling kids wouldn’t be so hard after all? Sally thought before speaking aloud to them. “Cross my heart!”
“N’ you know Sal’s promises are good as gold.” Quipped Sonic as he guided the two once they stood up towards the ladder down to ground level. “Also, expect to help do some chores as further punishment for this stunt.”
“What?! Oh come on big brother-!”
“Nope, nada, don’t even try to talk me down Sonia!” Sonic cut her off as he coaxed first Manic, then Sonia to climb down the ladder. “Sal’s gotta take it easy and I need help doing this and that.”
“But you guys got a staff at the castle to do stuff!” Pipped Manic, his voice echoing through the hollow tree.
“It keeps us honest to do our own chores.” Quipped Sonic, watching them both get halfway before he started down the ladder himself. “Plus if you want us to keep quiet about the dye-thing-.”
“Oh fine!” Both younger hedgehogs huffed, giving up arguing.
“Being a big brother has its perks.” Chuckled Sonic to himself as he made his way down. Maybe in a few years, Sally and he could return the favor and foist their own kids on Manic and Sonia to babysit. Oh the payback will be sweet!
#boundforfreedom#Sonic the Hedgehog#Sally Acorn#Sonally#Sonsal#Archie-Sonic#Manic Hedgehog#Sonia Hedgehog
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Hello! Exciting to see a new writing blog!! Can I maybe request Shanks finding a young lady shipwrecked, saving her and kind of falling for her on first sight? Feeling is mutual, I'll leave the circumstances etc up to you!! Thank you so very much! And good luck with the writing!! I look forward to seeing all the things you come up with!!
*Rubs my greasy little man hands together*
I've been waiting for Shanks.
(I hope this turned out okay!)
The cheering and singing that came from the Red Force was echoing especially loud that night.
Shanks swore it could has been heard all over his territory in the New World.
The Yonko laughed out as he watched his crew dance before him, they all slurred the lyrics of old shanties as they swung their mugs of sake around.
All of them were pink in the face as the swayed side to side, some stomping their feet to the beat of the shantie the musician played, some others slammed down their mugs as the yelled to one another, and some laid passed out on deck.
Shanks got a kick out of all of it.
With moments like this, he realised all the talking about his crew being a bunch of party animals was true. And he wouldn't have it any other way.
He sat slumped back, chugging down another mug of whiskey before letting out a loud: "Woo!" as the familiar burning sensation shot down his throat. He slammed down the mug at the table beside him and let his legs cross in his seat.
"Oi Captain! Sing us one of your favorites, why don't 'ya?" One of his crew members piped up. Waving his one and only arm he gestured the offer away.
"Nah, maybe later."
He couldn't maintain his buzz with his voice occupied.
Benn came up and sat in the chair next to him, downing a small shot.
"You're awfully quiet tonight."
Shanks let out a laugh before wavering his hand.
"Been busy."
"Busy." The vice captain gave pause, looking at his captain's propped up drunk figure.
"You've been busy?"
"Yeah." Shanks motioned to his head, giving it a few taps.
"Big Yonko thoughts. They keep me super occupied, you know?"
Benn rolled his eyes as he went to go stand back up.
"Yeah, sure. Whatever you say, 'cap."
Shanks scoffed to himself.
Yeah right.
Truth be told, he really didn't know what was wrong with him?
Eh, maybe just a flunk.
His scar gave a little throb.
The Yonko immediately sat up to feel at it, his eyes frowned.
That has to be it.
He. Is planning something.
He ripped his mug from his side table, emptying it.
"Oi, Collins!"
The blonde recruit looked back, confused.
"Go get me some more, yeah?"
The blonde nodded his head before Dashing off.
Shanks sat back in his seat, feeling his scar still demand his attention.
A storm had to be coming.
"Hey! Shanks! You're not gonna believe this!" Yasopp yelled from the other side of the deck.
"What is it?"
"Wrecked Marine ship,"
Why the hell is there a Marine ship in his territory?
"And uh someone's on it!"
"Who?"
God, he doesn't want to deal with some struggling marine asshole today.
"A woman."
A woman?
Well women could still be a threat too.
"Is she armed?"
Shanks already pushed him out of his seat to make his way to the sniper.
"Doesn't look like it."
The Red Haired stood beside Yasopp and scanned for the said wrecked ship, which he found none.
"What are you talking about, Yasopp? I don't see any ship-"
Then his eyes found you.
"-wreck."
Oh goodness.
You were standing on a scrap piece of a Navy ship that floated directly next to the Red Force.
Oh god.
Your eyes stared right back at him and the sniper, the expression you made shown signs of determination, you seemed to stand your ground.
"Captain?"
You didn't seem like any marine.
"What do we do about her?"
She was most likely a civilian.
"Captain?"
Though the way your hair fell over your shoulders and swayed in the wind entranced him.
"Captain."
The small frown you made that scrunched up your face, he found adorable.
"Captain!" Yasopp slapped his shoulder, snapping out of his trance.
"Uh, what?"
Yasopp took a step back and dramatically pointed to you.
"WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT HER?!"
Shanks shook his head followed by a: "Yeah, oh right!" before looking back down at you.
"Hey! What's your name?!"
You took a step back, your lips fell back into a snarl.
"Hey now!" He gestured his one hand up to assure her.
"We're not going to harm you! Now please share with us your name!"
You looked at the red haired man with a questioning glare.
"If you're not a threat, show me you're not holding a weapon with your other hand!"
Uh….
"Do it!"
"Okay fine!"
Letting his coat slip off his other shoulder, he gave you full view of the severed arm that was tied up in a knot with his sleeve.
Instantly you were taken back and your frown faded.
"You give us a name now?"
You looked down at your feet before back up at him.
"(Name)."
(Name).
"What a lovely name, (Name)."
Heat flushed your cheeks.
"You wanna hitch a ride? It'd be better the block of wood you're on now."
You opened your mouth to find no words to come out, your heart thumped in your ears.
And that's how you started to travel with the Red Haired pirates.
That first night you found the farthest corner of the deck and stuck there. Every once and awhile crew members not realising where you came from came up to you to make small talk about other crewmates who you had no idea who they even were.
Shanks also came and sat with you for a while, asking what island you came from and where exactly they could drop you off.
You simply shook your head, and that was all I took for him to understand. His large hand clasped on your shoulder, telling you you could stay as long as you like.
That made you smile, as well as a small blush to appear on your cheeks. Then the Red Haired pirates chef came up and offered you a plate.
You stared at it, decided it would most likely be safe since these pirates haven't tried to kill you yet. So you quickly scarfed down the best meal you had in days.
More days passed by, and in that time you got to get along with the crew, Ben was nice meeting the gentle giant yet badass stereotype, Lucky Roo was also nice he'd offer you food frequently, and Yasopp was an asshole.
One night another party was held, there Shanks offered you to drink with him.
You never felt more alive.
Once you'd been on the ship for about a month, one night Shanks found you alone on deck and decided to ask you what he'd been curious about for a while now.
You looked back and greeted him with a smile, one that he returned.
As you two stood there looking out to sea, he decided no than never.
"(Name), how did you get on that marine ship?
You'll be honest the question caught you off guard. But this was Shanks after all. From the first moment the Red Haired Bastard looked at you, you were immediately attracted to him. But over time, you discovered that attraction was much more.
You wanted to be full out and honest with him.
You told him of your past, you came from a rich family who were wanting to marry off into nobility, but every time you refused. Your parents hated you, you were clearly their biggest disappointment; you shared no interest in the riches or nobility, refusing marriage proposals, and disagreeing with their opinions on the All Knowing Corrupted Assholes-oops correction: World Government.
But one day you couldn't continue refusing and they arranged you with a marine captain.
The same marine captain that was in charge of that ship.
You were to be married within a month-well technically last Wednesday, but with a dead fiance that was kind of hard now.
Pirates attacked a day before the Red Force arrived, they torched and murdered all on board.
Except you.
You hid in a barrel like a coward.
"A barrel?" Shanks laughed.
You put your hands to your hips. "Yeah a barrel. And if it wasn't for that barrel I'd be floating dead to be eaten by Sea Kings."
The Yonko looked to his bad arm. "Yeah, I should now. Damn thing's teeth hurt like hell."
You laughed before asking him about his arm, which he gladly shared with you.
Everything from Luffy, the strawhat, Foosha, Makino and the mayor, every word came out with such glee.
You leaned against the deck, your face propped in your hand as you hung on every word.
Once he first, his hand reflexively with to grab at his hat before remembering it hadn't been on his head for a long time.
The rest of the time he spent with you seemed to fly by in a matter of seconds, before he knew it you were leaning against him and his arm was around your waist.
He had to have you on his crew.
He looked down at you with a soft smile.
You sure were pulling at his heart strings weren't you?
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i love your blog so much! could you write a ponyboy x reader imagine where you do something mischievous together?!! thank you 💜
𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐲𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞 — shut up and run
𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧
thank youuu! hope you like it, i actually had a lot of fun writing this ♡
AAAH! jeez y/n take it easy would ya!” ponyboy winced as you applied pressure to the gash on his forehead.
“well stop getting into so many fights and i wouldn’t have to torture you like this.”
“i didn’t ask to be jumped.”
“spittin’ at them doesn’t help either though.”
pony went silent. he knew you were right but it’s hard to defend yourself against a group of socs’ who come out of nowhere and start attacking you. this time they left a nasty gash on his head that was bleeding quite a lot and some other minor cuts and bruises. you were certain he had a couple broken ribs from the way he was sitting, but he kept insisting he was fine. after you finished cleaning him up you asked if you could see this stomach...to see if there was any bruises starting to form or cuts you missed.
he nods shyly and stands up. you grab ahold of his arm to help him steady himself. your heart sank as you saw his pained expression. he was trying to act tough but you could tell he was hurting. he hesitated for a split second but lifted his torn shirt up above his waist. lets just say you were right.
“PONYBOY!” you gasped as you saw the bruises that were spread across his stomach.
you were about to scold him or wait for him to say something, he didn’t say anything. he just gave you a look like he was trying to say sorry but couldn’t get out the words. you reached over and grabbed his hand as a comforting gesture, not wanting to make him feel any worse. you went into the bathroom and grabbed some medical wrap from the first aid kit and one of your brothers old shirts that pony could change into. you gently wrapped the thin fabric around his stomach. you didn’t exactly know what to do with this kind of injury but patching it can’t hurt.
after you finished ponyboy pulled you into warm hug. it caught you off guard, but you wrapped your arms around his neck enjoying the moment.
“thank you y/n you’re always here when i need ya.”
“anytime ponyboy.” you pull away slowly not wanting to squeeze him too hard.
later that evening, after he left to return home you couldn’t help but wonder why these socs’ always seem to go after ponyboy. maybe it’s because he usually walks by himself, so that makes him and easier target. your mind couldn’t grasp the sad fact that some people didn’t care about the harm they do to others. this was one of the many reasons you hated pony being a member of the gang. the violence scared you. worry overtaking your thoughts everytime ponyboy leaves your house and into the cool autumn nights.
after awhile you eventually fell asleep for a few hours. but were suddenly awakened by a tapping sounds on your bedroom window. at first you thought it was just the tree branches scraping against the glass. but when the tapping started happening in patterns of three, you knew who was trying to get your attention. when you get to your window you see pony, he waves and motions for you to open the window up. the cold air hits your face and sends a shiver down your spine.
“it’s 2am pony what’s wrong?” you cross your arms over your chest trying to keep yourself warm.
“the socs’ they got johnny today too...they cut him pretty bad. dally took him to the hospital he should be set to leave tomorrow morning.” tears filled his eyes as he told you about the rest of the attack. “we gotta do something.”
“like what?” you asked confused. “talk to darry he can set up some kind of meeting, tell them to stay on their side of town from now on.”
ponyboy shakes his head.
“it’s not like they’d listen. they’re always coming over here to mess with us. and i’m sick of it. who’s gonna be next huh? you?” he said in frustration. “i can’t let that happen.”
“okay so what’s your plan?” you ask. “and how does it involve me?”
“we’re gonna hit em’ where it hurts,” pony pauses. he reaches down and pulls out a tire iron from a black duffle bag he brought along. “their sports car.”
“pony...” you shake your head not knowing how to approach the situation.
“oh come on y/n it’s nothing too extreme. just a bit of revenge, you gotta agree that they deserve it.”
you take a moment to think about your next move. if you went with him and got caught the consequences could be irreversible. socs’ could decide to beat both of you up and leave you for dead. but if it was successful maybe they’d be afraid to come back over here for awhile, for their cars sake. pony was right their car was something they were always proud of.
“okay. fine.” you agreed. “give me two seconds.”
pony’s face lights up for a moment. he could have asked one of the other boys to join him but he chose you because he felt like you’d know how to talk your way out of a situation if needed. and no one would suspect you two were up to anything. but the duffle bag was a little suspicious, especially at 2am.
you quickly put on some sweatpants and a baggy sweatshirt too keep yourself warm. your slipped your feet into your sneakers and swung your leg over your windowsill. pony let you use him as a balance as you worked your way out. after your successful escape you and pony head out towards the opposite end of town. not a lot of people were out this late which you were happy about. after about a half hour walk you’re finally on socs turf. you didn’t know how you were going to find the same guys who attacked ponyboy and johnny earlier today but pony seemed to know exactly where he was going. you head towards a darkish grey house, and sat in the drive way was a blue sports car.
“here’s the plan,” pony leans in closer to you. “i’m gonna break some windows in the car...and leave a note on the windshield. your job is to keep watch.”
you nod nervously, afraid of the events that are about to take place. ponyboy takes a sharp breathe before he approaches the car...you wondered how much damage he could cause before someone hears the noise, i mean breaking out windows can’t be a quiet task can it? with one last glance towards you pony lifts the tire iron above his head and swinging it towards the passenger side window, instantly shattering the glass. he moves quickly and before you know it all four windows are busted. your eyes widened as you saw a dark figure open the front door to the house.
“ponyboy we need to go, now!” you yell trying to get his attention but he was too focused on getting the note to stick to the windshield.
“HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY CAR YOU DIRTY GREASER.” the guy was charging towards us, holding something that resembled a small knife.
“ponyboy come on!” you lunge forward latching onto the collar of his shirt before the socs could grab him.
you two take off running not wanting to look back and see if someone if chasing after you. you could feel your heart beating in your chest as you ran. adrenaline overtaking your body. it was an exciting feeling but also frightening. you grab pony’s hand as you start to see him slowing down. it can’t be easy for him to keep with his injures.
“is this just an excuse to hold my hand?” pony jokes as a sly smile spreads across his face.
“shut up and run!”
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Social Anxiety Origin Story
Social Anxiety is classified as a disorder. Isn’t that crazy!? You can actually read up on it on the MayoClinic or Webmd websites which shows that it really is a legitimate thing; it's not just you being a pussy. Most people who have social anxiety disorder don’t know what it is or why they’re like this. When we first become aware of our incomprehensible phobia we usually feel completely alien. People with this ailment tend to feel like the ultimate freaks, which knocks down their self esteem tenfold. If you have desperately searched online to potentially find answers: I feel you. The first time I felt a sense of belonging in this world was browsing through internet forums, reading about how people had the same irrational fears I did. You can find comfort in it sure, but it's definitely not the same as finding belonging in person. I didn’t know that I wasn’t completely alone in this struggle until I was maybe fifteen or sixteen years old navigating through my insufferable high school life! During that time google searches quickly became my best friend.
I can’t even really pinpoint where my SAD began for me. As a child I was pretty shy but I’d eventually open up once I became semi-comfortable. I didn’t ruminate whether or not I made some sort of fool of myself publicly. I was just having a blast man. Childhood is all fun and games but you really do get the carpet ripped out from under you when you enter adolescence.
I grew up a very privileged child financially - my parents both being middle class. My bills were all taken care of, and I didn't have to worry too much about the connections I would make with others in life. I was a kid. When a kid has no friends it's sad, but when an adult has no friends you wonder what they did wrong and you try to steer clear of them. There must be a reason why they are friendless: they must fetishize feet in their spare time! When you’re a child your only occupation is being a student. I’d wake up, go to school, learn stuff, socialize a bit among peers and then go home to watch TV and repeat, not questioning or overthinking the minutiae or idiosyncrasies in my life; just living day by day. Everything was smooth sailing. I figured I would hit my peak as a teenager and do all the cool teenagery things I saw on television like going to parties, making the cheerleading squad (though I’m not athletic at all; it would just happen), and have a tumultuous relationship with several boys. I’d pick the most special one to lose my virginity to on prom night! Then college would come, I’d go there and graduate and get a job. Sounds simple right!?
WRONG!
Hitting puberty was a big eye opener for me. It’s like once I menstruated my self-esteem plummeted. Everything about life just seemed a lot more competitive. There are all these milestones that society expects you to complete by certain ages: your first beer, your first kiss, your first fornication, your first job. All terrible and unfamiliar things! Now that I had bled and grown boobs, I was in the process of becoming a woman. I had to start making preparations to accomplish these milestones.
Seventh grade was the first year of my life I was depressed, and that terrible feeling hasn’t really depleted all that much since. In sixth grade I felt like a rock star… until the end of the year. I was a downright bully, mocking people in my class for the way they looked and acted. Some of my classmates found me funny, and I liked feeling that bold. I liked knowing that people were on the edge of their seats waiting for me to comment on a situation. It wasn’t until the end of the school year when one of the girls I heavily bullied called me out on my malicious means of garnering attention from my peers. She didn’t even insult me, she just spat out the truth. “You’re mean KRISTEN! You’re a BULLY!”
I can’t even explain how thrown off I felt by that mere observation. I never questioned why I did what I did; I liked the attention. I liked being someone people would be eager to hear from to know my latest outrageous comments on what surrounds us. Hearing this girl call me out for being a mean bully was a gut punch like no other. I couldn’t believe my ears. To me this girl wasn’t a person; she was a vessel. Someone to make fun of. Someone who was an easy target because she had a whole line of insults thrown her way since even before I saw her as easy prey.
No one ever downright called me out on my behavior. My dad did tell my mom that I was a horrible daughter, and he even asked who would want to have a daughter like me. But that was mostly because I was disrespectful towards him. Such a justified comment for a parent to make about his adolescent daughter right in front of her :)
That summer break I had tons of time to reflect upon my actions. I recognized how downright awful I had been to a lot of my classmates and vowed to make amends in the coming school year. I want to say, most of the bullying took place before I began menstruating, so you can blame my abhorrent behavior on my lack of emotional resonance and the fact that my womanly empathy and sympathy had not yet kicked in. That’s how I excuse how I acted.
So by seventh grade I was menstruating, and I grew D cup breasts overnight. I became a stand-up person - someone who didn’t throw vulnerable people under the bus for my own benefit. I became what you would call... “compassionate.”
Seventh grade was the year everything went downhill for me. Maybe it was the hormones kicking in and getting the better of me, or maybe it was me becoming more aware of what society deems as acceptable and proper. I felt like I should be cultivating a role in society, and I didn’t know what role to take. I couldn’t be loud and obnoxious anymore because my victims were starting to bite back and I realized the biting back hurt me more than I could handle.
For the rest of Junior High I struggled with my transitioning into a new person. My classmates instantly recognized how much softer and kind-hearted I became. I didn’t throw around as many insults, and if I did it was just playful banter. Me and the girl I had so savagely bullied were on decent terms, though we never really interacted with one another except for when obligatory social protocol called for it. I struggled with finding my niche again within my class. I got along with people just fine, but I suffered through a big identity crisis: I didn’t know what I could contribute without being outwardly obnoxious. I didn’t know what stereotypical personality trait defined me. Things got a bit more fucked at home for me, so that really took a toll on me mentally. I’ll get into how family influences your socialization tendencies in another post.
I’ve never wanted anything more in life other than to be liked. I know they say that not everyone’s gonna like you and that you should accept that, but I can’t! I just can’t accept it! The only way I will accept someone not liking me is if they’re completely indifferent to me, like when I have not done anything to them or in front of them to warrant them having an opinion on my character. So I keep my mouth shut. BUT THEN… I worry about what a weirdo they must think I am. If I’m too quiet then I give people the opportunity to make assumptions about me based on the impressions they have on me. They can be thinking anything, like that I watch tentacle porn, or that I collect toenail clippings or something.
I wonder if keeping my mouth shut all these years has done me more harm than good emotionally. Speaking up opens you up for attack, and I always feel like I have to be on the defensive. But when you say nothing to anyone, are you really living your life to the fullest and taking advantage of opportunities that could benefit you?
Meeting someone and getting to know them feels kind of like a step by step interrogation for me. The worst question I always get is, “What do you do?” Which I assume means “what do you do for a living?” Another one is,“Do you have a boyfriend?” It seems to me that the general public believes having a solid and steady job and being in some sort of romantic relationship completes the prerequisites for having a satisfactory life. Do these people even consider that you may be unemployed AND single? And that they’re unintentionally making you feel shitty about yourself? Just keep the convo focused on the weather for god sake.
I started this blog to vent about my feelings. I have been journaling a lot recently to blow off some steam because it's uncomfortable to complain about this stuff in real life. Only people on the internet can understand certain problems. I don’t know if anyone’s going to read this, but I feel like social anxiety is an underrepresented disease in mainstream media. It’s embarrassing to tell people that you are anxious for your next family gathering because you don’t know if you should greet someone with a kiss on their cheek if they’re sitting down. Do I just bend down!? Should they stand up? Am I being too forward, or are they gonna be offended if I don’t make a move to embrace them? That's a whole ordeal for me. It's not what people call a “real problem” but this is the shit I think about while I lie in bed at night. So if shit similar to that wanders through your mind when you contemplate the world, maybe you can find some sort of catharsis through this blog. We may not have a very mainstream disease, but at least we’ve got each other to relate to. We’re people who find solace in reading about similar experiences we’ve experienced online.
Just thinking back on the fact that what jump started my anxiety issue was a small little comment made by someone whose life I made torturous. I don’t place the blame on this girl, as I just enabled her to pull the trigger on some deeper rooted issues I bore. Although it is quite the struggle I am glad that the nastier person I was eventually transformed into a more compassionate one. I never got to formally apologize to that girl. I hope I didn’t leave a big lasting impression on her. I was really shitty to her. I would reach out to her through social media and apologize, but I’ve got way too much social anxiety for that!
Well now that we’ve covered my origin story I would love to hear about all of yours. I will continue to write about various social situations or predicaments that freak me out, as well as stuff I’ve been through at home and in high school and how I’ve evolved and haven’t evolved. I don’t want this blog to be filled with negativity. Hopefully it's self-effacing in a not too depressing way. If it’s too depressing please let me know. I don’t want to spread the feeling of hopelessness with this blog. I want people to find comfort and humor, and maybe we can come up with some potential resolutions for certain scenarios and give each other tips. If there are any readers out there, thanks for reading. I hope this in some way made you smile and feel like less of an outcast. Keep trooping on! You’re not alone :)
#social#anxitey#social anxious#social anxiety#depressed#depression#sad#origin#story#generalized anxiety disorder#help#myparentsdontunderstand#mental heath support#puberty#hormones#peer pressure#mental health#overthinking
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Discovery of Witches Season 1 Episode 1
Yes, this is the TV series based off of that horrible book trilogy. People who follow my book blog will remember that I snarked it and had the absolute worst time.
Forget the Fifty Shades... sextet (It's a sextet now, not a trilogy). The All Souls Trilogy is, hands down, the absolute worst thing that I have ever had the misfortune to read.
But Ravenclaw, if you hated the book so much, why did you watch even one episode of the TV series?
All me curious, I suppose.
Going into the episode, my opinion is already pretty rock bottom. I'm expecting a lot of padding, if only because the book was 90% unnecessary bullshit that literally anybody should have told Harkness to cut out.
When they first announced that they were making the series, I joked with my friends that half of the TV show was just going to be Diana disassociating for half an hour as she stared at a sconce and explained how this light fixture once belonged to Henry VIII or whatever. BECUASE THAT'S HOW IT HAPPENS IN THE BOOK.
However, the TV series, as you might imagine, takes some... er... liberties. Already in the first episode, characters are introduced differently, and new POVs are introduced as well. If only because... No, Harkness. We don't want to see Diana dramatically pushing down the lever on the toaster. JFC why.
The show starts off pretty much like in the book: Meet Diana Bishop, who has a doctorate in magical history. She's a witch, but she's not very good at it.
In the book, especially right in the beginning before Harkness figured out what the fuck she was doing, Diana's magic waffled between “I WANT TO BE HUMAN SO I REFUSE TO USE MAGIC!!” and “I AM SHIT AT MAGIC SO I TRY TO AVOID DOING IT WHENEVER POSSIBLE.”
However, right off the bat, Diana talks with her friend, Jillian, and says that she has a lot of lingering PTSD from her parents being murdered because of their magic. Which is fair.
And it's also way more character development than Diana got in literally 15000 pages of trash Harkness wrote.
Diana calls up the famed Ashmole 742 (or as I took to calling it “Asshole 747”), of which the entire series revolves around.
See, literally every magical creature thinks that this book is somehow the answer to all of their problems. They all want it because they think that it's going to share the secrets of how they came to be. And they don't want the other magical species to get their hands on it because they think that the secrets inside will tell the other species how to destroy them.
And as I write this, I think to myself “There can be no winners in a scenario like this. Just mutual destruction over a fucking book.” But whatever.
Oh, and in case you need to be caught up, there are three magical species: witches, vampires, and daemons. I'm using the spelling from the book, because, in my mind, they were not the same thing as “demons”. In fact, I'm pretty sure that the book went out of its way to assure us that “daemons” had not crawled up from hell, etc etc. In fact, I even pronounced it like “day-mons”. The series, however, seems to think that “daemon” and “demon” would be too confusing, and has resorted back to just plain old demon.
First off... let me express my discomfort over the entire library scene. Diana goes in, tells the guy at the desk that she wants such and such books and gives him the call slips. He sends the slips down to where the really old books are stored. And it's interesting to see. But then the lady goes and she just... “Lol, here's this book! And let me grab this other book.” She stacks them up on her chest like they weren't four-plus centuries old. And if we were talking about copies of Harry Potter or whatever, I don't think that I would give two shits. BUT THESE ARE OLD, PRICELESS, ONE OF A KIND BOOKS. AND SHE'S TREATING THEM LIKE THEY'RE 98TH EDITIONS OF HARRY POTTER.
And then the guy goes over to give them to Diana, and he's like “Well, here you go.” and just kind of... tosses them onto her workspace. And Diana starts to look at the Asshole 747.
And not a single person handles any of these books with gloves, either. Diana even touches these old pages with her bare hands, which can't possibly be good for the pages or ink. And in one scene, she even forcefully rips a page apart from the one below it, which had sort of become stuck with the ink.
WHY.
Anyway, as Diana actually looks at the book, it's a very interesting special effect as all of the words swirl around on the page.
However, true to the book, Diana freaks out and quickly returns the book. However, unlike in the book, Diana thinks that she sees her father, and she has a complete and utter panic attack over the entire thing.
She later calls her aunt, who is more angry that Diana returned what is clearly a dangerous magical item rather than to investigate further... Rather than the obvious fact that it's clear that Diana is spiraling into some kind of psychosis what with seeing her father and having nightterrors.
Because priorities.
Also much like in the book, all of the magical species in the area were somehow alerted to Diana calling up the book. And I'm willing to let it slide, if only because MAGIC.
Jillian kicks off her subplot by her telling the head of the local coven about this. The head then calls up the witchy president, who's some old fat guy and I cannot remember his name for the life of me. He also brings along Satu. We were rather rudely introduced to Satu as old fat guy went to get her in Finland. And she murdered the random human that the old fat guy brought along with him.
HAHAHA, BECAUSE NOTHING SAYS 'I WANT YOU TO RULE ME' QUITE LIKE STARTING OFF YOUR REIGN BY MURDERING PEOPLE. HAHAHAHAHAHA /sarcasm
However, as this is likely going to be a long series (if it goes the full length of the books and isn't canceled in the meantime, which maybe it will be if the rest of the episodes are this awkward with clunky dialogue as this first episode), then Jillian's plot is just kicking off. We don't spend much time on it.
However, we do introduce Marcus, who is Matthew's vampire son. (Not to be confused with a biological son. They're vampires, for fuck's sake.) Marcus's friend was hit by a car, and he died almost instantly. Marcus felt bad about the entire thing and tried to turn his friend, only for the vampire mojo to not work at all.
Later, Matthew picks Marcus up from the police station, and completely reams Marcus out for... trying to help his friend. It's a head scratcher, but don't linger too much on it.
Matthew is, however, insanely insistent that the answers to why they suddenly cannot create any new vampires lies in Asshole 747.
So, he starts to literally stalk Diana. And, granted. This is very accurate to how things were in the book. Except, Diana was kind of like “Oh no, he's hot!” about the entire thing. We never saw what Matthew was thinking, because the books were written from Diana's first person POV. But... in the TV series, he comes off less like a smarter and more mature Edward Cullen and more like... Hannibal Lecter. Yeah, you trust him a little if only because he's good looking and smart. But at the same time, you're getting some seriously creepy “He's going to cut out my spleen and put it in soup and feed me the soup before he kills me for real.” vibes from him. Ugh.
It's the complete opposite of romantic, if you ask me. At least the Twilight movies tried to make Edward look like not the kind of person who breaks into a girl's bedroom to watch her sleep. With Discovery of Witches, no such attempt to de-creep-ify Matthew is ever made.
All in all, the episode seemed to drag on forever. Too many subplots were introduced too quickly. The dialogue was clunky and it felt overly forced. Especially from Diana. The actual academic side of the episode was so cringy that I literally wanted to cry and write an angry letter to whoever the fuck wrote this bullshit.
But, the simple fact that it's really, REALLY hard to talk about a pencil for three pages or bricks or the dorm where Diana's staying or her fucking hairbrush means that half of what made the All Souls Trilogy so unbelievably unbearable is instantly cut for more actual plot.
It wasn't nearly as horrible as I was expecting. And I'm as surprised as you are. I've seen way worse things. And the fact that I kind of want to see the second episode just to see where they're going to take this vs how the book was is always a good sign for a show.
Especially one as awful as All Souls Trilogy was.
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Embers and Ash - Chapter 6 (Eric X OC)
Rating: M (violence/torture/swearing/smut:p)
Notes/Warnings: Upcoming Trigger Warnings
Genre: Drama/Angst
Thanks everyone for the re-blogs and support!!! IT IS SO AWESOME!!!
Please enjoy more of Eric and Fox!
@emmysrandomthoughts @beautifulramblingbrains @iammarylastar @tigpooh67 @bookwarm85 @frecklefaceb @mom2reesie @elaacreditava @badassbaker @captstefanbrandt @jaihardy
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Fox startled awake, looking around quickly. Something had woken her, a stealthy sound followed by a thump. Fox sat up and looked past the end of the bed. Her breath caught as she saw a body on the floor, a pool of blood spreading beneath it. Fox's heart began to pound as she recognized the boxers the body wore, saw the awesome muscle definition in the obviously male back, a back she knew well and loved to run her hands over.
"Eric?" She whispered, a whimper escaping her as she realized that there was no way Eric could still be alive, not with that much blood beneath him; he was terrifying still.
A figure stepped from the shadows and stood beside Eric's body. The blade of the knife in his hand dull with Eric's lifeblood. With one long stride, the figure stood at the end of the bed and Fox's breath left her.
"You didn't really think you were rid of me, did you, bitch?" Tom growled. As he spoke he climbed onto the bed, crawled towards Fox and raised the knife. As the blade swung down Fox screamed and grabbed his upper arms, tried desperately to stop the blade's arc.
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Eric jolted awake as Fox gasped beside him. In the ten days since Fox had come home from the Erudite hospital, Eric had become accustomed to Fox’s constant nightmares, her broken sleep. The slightest twitch or noise woke him, he was always only half-asleep anyway; laying beside Fox, constantly on guard to protect her, even from her own mind.
Sometimes the solution was to wake her, but more often she responded quicker to Eric’s arms around her, his voice low and soothing in her ear, his hand caressing her skin. Eric rolled to face Fox, saw her paralyzed with terror, her face twisted. He reached out to touch her and she exploded. Her arms snapped out, catching Eric on the chin and she began to scream. Eric grabbed her wrists, rolled on top of her in desperation. He pressed her wrists to the bed on either side of her head and began speaking lowly, trying to break through.
“Fox. Fox. Baby, it’s a nightmare...it’s me, baby wake up!” Fox fought him, keening in her throat and Eric let his full weight lay on her, pinning her down. He dropped his head to speak in her ear and was rewarded with a head butt that made him see stars.
“Fox!” He cried desperately, pushing down on her wrists, snapping his hips down on hers, trying anything to break her out of her nightmare. This was the hardest he’d had to work to get through to her and he was getting scared.
With one more harsh gasp, Fox’s eyes snapped open, wide and unseeing, the animal fear in them unsettling.
“Fox!” Eric tried again.
The blank look left and awareness flooded Fox’s gaze. Her body relaxed beneath Eric’s and he let out the breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding.
“Eric.” She whimpered, the pain and desolation in her voice tearing at him. Fuck, I feel so helpless here. I can‘t help her, I can‘t stop the nightmares. Her eyes focused up on Eric’s, tears beginning to trickle down her cheeks.
“Oh, Eric.” She whispered and Eric let go of her wrists, dropped down beside Fox; his hands trailing down her arms to her waist. Instantly Fox rolled to him, clawed frantically at his chest and buried her head in his throat, pressing desperately to him, her breath harsh gasps. Eric wrapped his arms tightly around her, threw his leg over hers, knowing she needed full body contact now; he rested his forehead to hers and murmured soothingly, calming sounds and noises; because there currently no words that would help.
Fox trembled in his arms, his shoulder and throat soon soaked with her tears. Eric stroked her hair, crooned quietly and slowly she began to calm down.
“He was here.” She choked. “He stabbed you....he killed you and then he came for me.”
Eric didn’t need to ask who ‘he’ was. It was always ‘he’. The fucker wouldn’t stay dead and gone, not in Fox’s troubled mind.
“You’re safe.” He murmured. “He’s gone, he’s dead and he can’t hurt you anymore.”
“I know....I know that when I’m awake....but as soon as I fall asleep, he’s there.” Fox’s voice was threadbare, hoarse from her screams.
Eric stroked up and down Fox’s spine, began to sing an old song that Fox loved, from before the war. A slow, sad song that nonetheless was Fox’s favourite, would relax her when nothing else would.
All around me are familiar faces,
Worn out places, worn out faces.
Bright and early for their daily races,
Going nowhere, going nowhere.
Their tears are filling up their glasses,
No expression, no expression.
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow.
No tomorrow, no tomorrow.
And I find it kinda funny,
I find it kinda sad,
The dreams in which I’m dying
Are the best I’ve ever had.
Fox relaxed completely in Eric’s arms as his deep voice sang low to her, his breath warm on her cheek. She sighed, the rest of the tension in her muscles draining out, and as Eric sang the last words, Mad World, Fox was asleep again, a small smile on her lips.
Eric stroked her cheek and murmured. “I love you, baby. More than you’ll ever know.”
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Fox kicked experimentally at the heavy bag. She’d been cleared by the doctor this morning to resume physical activity, and Tris had offered to come along with her. Eric had reluctantly gone back to work, facing a mountain of paperwork, and Fox was unwilling to languish in the apartment; she needed to get out and do something.
News of her abduction had made the rounds of the faction and Fox was rapidly growing tired of the pitying and/or curious looks that hit her wherever she went. When Eric was with her, it was easy to lean into his strength and let him glare at the offenders until they looked away, but by herself, Fox was reaching the end of her rope. The gym and heavy bag were a welcome distraction, taking her mind off of everything currently clouding her mind.
She and Eric hadn’t been intimate since before Fox’s attack and it was driving Fox insane. Eric was holding back for her sake and was having just as hard a time as her, Fox having heard him groan as he finished himself in the shower more than once lately. Physically, Fox was okay, her wounds were healed, but mentally she was still clouded. She wanted Eric, wanted his touch, wanted him inside her so bad, but panic would take over at the most inconvenient times; his face swarming up in her mind’s eye, Eric’s touch on her arm suddenly feeling clammy and lecherous. Eric’s low sexy voice would morph into his wretched rasp, the words no longer igniting her blood but chilling her soul. She’d pull away, scramble out of the bed, knowing if she looked back she’d see the hurt in Eric’s eyes that he tried so hard to hide. He realized that Fox was running away to escape him, but it hurt nonetheless to have her rip herself out of his arms like he was tainted, like he’d been the one to break her.
Fox would escape to the living room or bathroom and Eric would wait, give her time to calm down. He’d give her a gentle smile when she returned, taking her hand chastely or delicately resting in over her shoulders until she sighed and curled towards him, murmuring an apology into his chest.
“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” He’d murmur back, tentatively stroking her back; sometimes she’d let him, other times she’d tense and Eric would pull his hand away, eliciting another choked ‘sorry’ against his collarbones, her sorrow cutting Eric deep.
Devastating as all of that was, what had happened two nights ago was even worse, and Fox's heart clenched remembering it. Fox had come out of the bathroom, ready for bed to see Eric's side empty. Curious, she walked out into the living room and saw him on the couch, his head in his hands.
"Eric? Come to bed." Fox whispered.
Without lifting his head, Eric shook it. No.
Frowning in confusion, Fox moved to stand in front of him. She waited quietly for a moment before asking softly. "What's wrong?"
"I can't anymore." Eric sound broken, defeated.
A thrill of fear and panic went through Fox, he couldn't what? Couldn't be with Fox anymore? Not without sex? Couldn't handle her broken sleep and nightmares? What? Had he already found another woman who welcomed him to her bed, who gave him the release he so obviously needed and she couldn't provide him now? He was a man, and they'd been a very active and experimental couple before all of this shit had happened, Fox could hardly blame him for seeking it elsewhere. His next words tore through Fox's soul.
"I can't be with you right now."
Fox fell to her knees in front of him, hating herself, hating him. Goddammit, why couldn't you wait for me? Why can't I get rid of the fear? She choked out his name, hating the weakness and desperation in her voice. Just go.
Eric raised his head, his eyes widening as he read Fox's face. He reached out and grabbed her upper arms, his grip viciously strong.
"No! Fox! Not like that.....I just can't.....I can't lay beside you right now.......I want you so bad, and I can't do that to you right now. If I go to bed with you, I'll slip...I'll start making love to you....I'll start fucking you senseless and I won't be able to stop myself. It's not your fault, but it's been too long...I can't control myself around you right now. I shouldn't even be here, I should crash at Zeke's or something."
Fox stared in shock at him. She honestly hadn't expected this confession. She hadn't fully appreciated how tightly wound Eric was becoming, of course he would be, she was dying for it too.
She reached out to hug him, pulled back at the desperate warning in his eye. He was riding a razor-edge of control right now, Fox could see, the only thing keeping him from throwing Fox back on the couch and taking what he wanted, what he needed, was his love for her, his complete aversion to causing her more pain.
"Go to bed." His voice was quiet and controlled, his hands fisted.
Fox stood and moved quickly to the bedroom, as she pulled the door shut she heard him mutter. "Lock the door."
She did.
She woke the next morning feeling cold, Eric's side of the bed too empty. He'd already left for work when Fox stepped outside the bedroom and she hadn't seen him all day. She'd retired to bed early and remembering Eric's request, locked the door again. She heard him enter the apartment and walk to the bathroom. The shower started and Fox felt an irrational shame as she heard Eric's low moans over the sound of the water. Reaching down, she slid her hand into her panties as she heard Eric's groaning speed up, began to rub herself. Tingles spread through her and her hand quickened. Eric's groans grew louder, more ragged. Fox felt her release building, she would come the same time as Eric. But suddenly, a hideous face with washed out blue eyes and dirty broken teeth appeared in her mind.
"That's right." Tom rasped. "Touch yourself for me."
Fox pulled away with a cry, dimly noting Eric's strangled groan from the shower. The face disappeared and Fox sat on the side of the bed, sweating, miserably turned on and too scared to do anything about it.
"Damn you, Tom." She growled.
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"Fox? FOX?"
Tris' voice broke into Fox's thoughts and she started guiltily. "Sorry." She gasped.
Tris moved from her heavy bag to stand in front of Fox. "Are you okay, you look like you've seen a ghost."
Fox's legs gave out and she sunk to the mat. Eyes wide, Tris sat beside her.
"Fox? I thought things were getting better. Aren't they?"
Fox began to cry, sob uncontrollably and Tris pulled her against her chest, stroked her hair and let her. It all came out, the nightmares, the new fear of intimacy; the horrible visions of her attacker that wouldn't leave her alone, even after death; even Eric forcing himself away from her to keep Fox safe from himself.
Tris listened to it all quietly, wiping the occasional tear away as she did. Fox was really hurting, she'd been putting on a good front, fooling everyone; except maybe Eric; and Tris felt a hot stab of guilt for not looking closer.
"I'm sorry, Fox."
"Not your fault."
"What can I do?"
"Just let me cry right now."
"Okay." Tris fell back silent. She let her mind drift, began to think of ways to help Fox overcome at least some of her problems. She needed to get rid of this ghost that kept following her. A light bulb went off.
"Fox. I think I know something that will help!"
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Fox groaned raggedly. "What? I'll seriously try anything."
"The fear landscapes!"
Fox frowned, not understanding. Tris sat back and took Fox's hands. "I think it's safe to say that this Tom is now one of your fears?" At Fox's nod she continued. "Well, you take the serum and go into the simulation, you'll be able to face him, kill him again. Face the fear and stop it."
Fox stared at Tris, could it really be that simple? She asked as much.
Tris made a face. "I don't know, we could ask Four. He knows more about the simulations than us. We can go ask him now, he's in the control room."
Fox nodded. "Just let me clean up a little first."
Tris giggled, swiping at the last of her tears, "me too."
They hurried to the nearest bathroom, washed their faces and pinched their cheeks to even out their complexions. Tris led the way to the control room, Fox tailing her nervously. Hesitation was creeping in now, face Tom in a simulation? Her first time under had literally scared Fox to death, what was she walking into now? She stopped behind Tris, realizing they'd reached their destination. Tris knocked and after a moment Four answered. His serious face broke into a smile when he saw the women and he spoke quickly over his shoulder before stepping out and closing the door behind him.
"Hi, ladies. How are you doing?"
"Not too bad, Four. We've got a question." Fox replied.
"Oh?"
Tris spoke up then. "What would happen if Fox went under a fear simulation again? If she could face that asshole that abducted her, killed him again; would it help with her nightmares and flashbacks?"
Four rubbed a hand across the back of his neck and tipped his head back, thinking. "I don't know." He admitted. "We've never tried it for something like this. Maybe it would help, let you face it and get closure; but it could also implant the fear more solidly in your mind; both are possible....and whichever way it goes, you remember stage two training, it will get worse before it gets better."
Fox nodded. She'd expected to hear the last part, but hadn't thought about the rest. Implant the fear more solidly in my mind? That definitely wasn't something Fox wanted.
"If I decided to try it...would you help me?" She finally asked.
"Of course." Four replied immediately.
Fox chewed her bottom lip for a minute. "Let's do it...I can't keep going like this."
Four nodded. "Okay, you want to start today? How about just after supper?"
"Yeah, okay. Anything special I need to do to prep?"
Four began to shake his head, then thought better. "I'd get ready for a few rough nights."
"I'll stay with you Fox." Tris spoke up. A look passed between her and Four and Fox spoke.
"It's hard right now to be around Eric and be scared of....you know."
Awareness dawned and Four nodded. "We'll both stay with you if that'll help?"
Fox breathed out a sigh of relief. "That'd be great, Four. Thanks."
He winked at her. "Come by the fear landscape room around seven. Pack a bag and you can stay at our place tonight."
Tears threatening, Fox grabbed Four in a quick hug than turned to Tris, embracing her too.
Tris giggled, trying to lighten the mood. "We better go. You should tell Eric what's going on."
Fox nodded. "I should do that now....come with me?"
Tris nodded and they left.
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Fox hesitated before knocking.
"Come in." Eric's voice barked.
Swallowing, Fox opened the door and stepped in. A whole gamut of emotions crossed Eric's face; from happiness to fear to lust to nervousness. Seeing Tris behind her added confusion to the mix.
"Got a minute?" Fox asked.
"Of course, baby. What do you need?"
Fox took a deep breath. "Four is going to help me to go through my fear landscape tonight."
Eric's brow furrowed in confusion.
"Tris thought of it, maybe if I can face Tom in a simulation, I can overcome his hold on me."
Eric considered a moment before leaning back in his chair. "Maybe, but it's not a guarantee. It could make it worse."
Fox nodded. "Four told me that...but I have to try something."
"Maybe you just need more time." Eric said quietly and Fox caught a flash of pain in his stormy grey eyes.
"I'd like to try.....and after......I'll be staying over at Tris and Four's, in case my nightmares get bad."
The pain was back in Eric's eyes, along with frustration and....helplessness? Closing his eyes briefly, he opened them again and was back to calm, collected Leader Eric.
"That sounds like the best course of action right now. Can I do anything?"
Fox shook her head and stood. Tris mirrored her.
"Tris? Give us a minute?"
Tris nodded and left.
Eric stood and walked around the desk. He sat against the edge and reached out for Fox's hand. She let him take it, biting back a hiss at the delicious tingle it sent up her arm. Eric stroked the back of her hand for a minute before speaking.
"I'm sorry." He murmured.
Fox frowned. "For what?"
Eric sighed. "I'm becoming part of the problem, you don't need to be worrying about me right now too."
Fox took a hesitant step forward and reached up, running her hand over his carefully gelled hair. Eric's eyes closed as she cupped the back of his head. Although she wanted to, Fox didn't dare test Eric's control by kissing him now. She pulled her hand away, took a step back. Eric opened his eyes again, they were nearly black; the pupils blown. Visibly restraining himself, he spoke.
"Be careful baby. Call me tomorrow and let me know how you're doing."
Fox nodded and stepped away. She glanced back over her shoulder as she reached the door, her skin beginning to tingle from the intensity of Eric's gaze. She pulled the door shut behind her.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Be brave, Fox." Four said gently as he injected the serum in her neck.
Fox closed her eyes, felt the change in her surroundings. Opening her eyes, she looked around. She was in a desolate part of the city, the same area where Tom had ambushed her and killed Bronson. Fox began to walk, and almost instantly picked up following footsteps. This is my original fear, of being pursued and attacked. It's just moved from the Amity field to the city. I'll be surrounded by hundreds of red eyes again right away. Fox stopped, refusing to run and called out.
"I'm not afraid of you. Show yourselves!"
Just as Fox was expecting, dozen upon dozens of red eyes suddenly opened, glaring at Fox. She glared back and felt herself fall back, hitting cold ground. The grave again. This time the face that appeared above her was Tom as an adult, not the boy from her previous simulations. He laughed down at her, showing his blackened, broken teeth and dropped the first shovelful on Fox. Fox willed herself to relax, this was how she'd gotten out in her final test, by relaxing and embracing her fate. It worked even quicker this time and suddenly Fox was standing. She opened her eyes.
She was back in the sub-basement, in the isolation cell; her wrists shackled. Every detail of the cell was there, the blood stains, the weak light, the scars on the wall, the pain in Fox's body. The door in front of her opened and Tom stepped in, holding the same knife he'd stabbed her with, that he'd stabbed Eric with in her nightmare. He stopped and smiled at her.
"Just can't stay away, can you?" He sneered.
Fox sneered back. "You can't hurt me anymore."
Tom barked a laugh, the sound a rusty gate swinging in the wind. "That's what you think. It's your fate to be with me, just accept it."
Fox spat in his face, rage threatening to overwhelm her. Tom snarled and leapt, knife raised to gut her.
Fox slammed back to consciousness, her eyes snapping open. Tris and Four stood over her.
"I'm sorry, I had to pull you out. Your heart was racing too fast." Four said, sweat on his brow.
Fox exhaled, feeling weak.
"Can you sit up?" Four asked and, at Fox's nod, helped her to sit.
"Let's go lay you down." He murmured, pulling Fox to her feet. Tris moved to her other side and began to help walk Fox out of the room. Reaching their apartment, Four opened the door and continued inside, his arm around Fox's shoulders. Tris held her around her waist. They'd moved a few weeks previous to a two-bedroom apartment and led Fox now to the spare bedroom.
Fox sat down with a groan, then lay back on the mattress. Almost instantly she was asleep.
She snapped awake hours later, panting. She'd been back in the isolation cell again, and she rubbed her inner forearm gingerly; Tom had managed to slash her arm before she'd startled herself awake and her skin still tingled.
Tris sat up with a yawn. She'd pulled Fox's boots off and, with Four's help, had lain Fox under the covers. She'd come back a few hours later to climb in beside Fox, to be here for the nightmares. Four slept in the master bedroom, and he appeared at the doorway now.
"Are you okay?" His deep voice rumbled.
Fox nodded as Tris put her arm around her shoulders.
"It'll get better." Tris murmured.
Fox nodded tiredly, lay back on the bed. Her eyes drifted shut again.
#eric#jai courtney#eric coulter#divergent#eric divergent fanfiction#fanfiction#eric and fox#fire fox#embers and ash
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Part of the Pack
Pairing: Malia x Reader Friendship
Warnings: Stalia, Anti Stydia. Stiles gets slapped.
Please guys, I don’t want to be mean but if you don’t like it, don’t read it.
Word Count: 1686
Notes: Okay, so this fic is basically a huge fuck you to Jeff Davis’ shitty writing in season 6? I still love Stiles, I still love my blog but Season 6!Stiles treated Malia like shit and it made me mad. So yeah... this happened.
“I’ll never get it, Scott! I still don’t understand why I need math in the first place.”
Scott shook his head at the Coyote but couldn’t stop his smile. “I bet you’ll get it soon. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
“No, I’m not being hard on myself. I’m being honest!”
Malia frowned at Scott’s laughter but didn’t comment on it. A look at the clock on her mobile made her realize that she had to leave soon, if she wanted to bring you back your notes.
“Scott, I gotta go. I promised (y/n) to bring her stuff back today.”
Scott followed Malia down to the front door and was about to say goodbye, when he opened the door and made his friend freeze in her spot. Even if he hadn’t been able to smell it, Scott would have noticed Malia’s anxiety by just taking a look at her. She was shaking.
Stiles and Lydia were looking up from their kiss and Malia could already feel her claws grow.
She had to get away as fast as possible.
“See you guys in school tomorrow!” without looking back, Malia hurried away.
Ignoring Scott’s calls after her, she passed her car and started running.
Malia just run away upset. Please call if you see her!
You frowned at Scott’s text message before typing in a reply.
What happened?
Before Scott had a chance to answer, your ringing door bell made you look up in surprise. You just hoped it was Malia.
Crashing down the stairs, you ripped the door open and almost yelped at the sign in front of you. It was, in fact, Malia who was staring at you wide-eyed, but her fangs and claws were free for everyone to see.
After taking a few looks around, just to make sure that nobody had seen her, you pulled Malia inside and closed the door behind her, before gently grabbing the girl by her arms. “What happened?!”
“I can’t turn back!”
“What do you mean you can’t turn back?!” you tried to stay calm, for the sake of both of you, but you could already feel your puls rise. You had thought Malia had gotten the anchor thing under control!
“What do you think, (y/n)?!”
“I thought you’d found another anchor!”
Avoiding eye-contact with you, Malia pulled you closer and tried to steady herself but it wasn’t working. Her mind was still thinking back to how she had lost her anchor to one of her best friends and the fact that it was hurting even though she didn’t want it to hurt! She was stronger than this!
“You have to tell me what got you so out of it or I won’t be any help!”
Malia hated this day.
“I lied, okay?! I lied.”
Now, that was more confusing than it was helpful.
Malia looked back up and let go of your arms, sinking to her knees instead.
She wasn’t able to control her coyote and she hated it!
“Malia...”
“GOD, (Y/N)!I lied about the new anchor! I never had one! I... when I left Scott’s place I ran into Lydia and Stiles kissing and I can’t ...(y/n), I don’t know how to turn back without Stiles.”
The coyote once again tried to avoid your gaze, because she already knew that you were watching her with pity in your eyes. The poor Beta not being able to cope with her feelings.
It was stupid and it made Malia want to turn fully so she could hide in her old cave but she was upset and a full turn only worked when she was content and able to focus.
On days like today she really wished they had never found her in the first place.
What use did it have when the only thing that she had gotten out of it it was more pain?
“I know this sucks,” you interrupted Malia’s thoughts, “but you have to become your own anchor, at least until you find a new one.”
Malia didn’t want to find a new anchor but she also couldn’t stay like this and so she tried. She tried to calm her nerves down but as she looked down, she could still see her claws.
It wasn’t working and the lack of control made her panic again!
Before she could stress herself into a full blown panic attack, you placed both of your hands on her shoulders and tried to shake her out of it.
At least that had gotten her attention.
“Malia, we’ll try something. You’re going to close your eyes and listen to my voice and if that doesn’t work I’m gonna call Scott, yeah?”
You went on after the girl gave you a short nod.
“We’re going to breath together okay? Breath in through your nose and when I tell you, try to slowly breath out again through your mouth.”
Repeating the breathing exercise a view times, you were relieved to see that it seemed to work.
Her claws turned back into her human nails and her fangs got smaller and smaller until they weren’t there anymore.
You slumped down besides Malia and pulled the girl into a hug.
“I’m proud of you! You did it.”
But Malia wasn’t feeling very celebratory, you realized, as she burried her face in your shoulder, hugging you back tightly.
It would have been a lie to say that you had expected Malia to cry over her lost anchor but you still kept quiet as you let her cry on your shoulder, trying to rub her back in a comforting manner.
How could Stiles hurt her like that?
He hadn’t even really broken it up between them, too cowardly to even do that right. He simply hadn’t cared.
In fact, it seemed like both Stiles and Lydia didn’t seem to care one bit for Malia’s feelings and it was pissing you off!
They were hurting their own pack member, their friend, and they didn’t care.
If you were honest it didn’t just piss you off. It made you furious.
A view minutes later, Malia was sitting on your couch with a cup of hot chocolate in her hands and your anger had yet to subside.
Normally you hated getting in the way of an argument but you had also seen just how hurtful the whole situation was on one of your best friends and ignoring it simply wasn’t an option anymore.
“Malia, where’s Stiles right now?”
“Scott, open the door!” your fist was heavy against the wooden front door and Stiles frowned at his best friend, who was sitting between him and Lydia in the living room. “Is that (y/n)? She sounds pissed.”
“Yeah.” Scott returned the frown before getting up from the couch, leaving Lydia and Stiles alone, and walking to the front door to let you in.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
As you shoved the Alpha out of the way to call for Stiles, Scott was more than confused.
“What got you so fired up, woman?” Stiles voice spoke up from the living room even before he had reached the hallway.
That’s when Scott smelled it. The sour smell of anger.
The Alpha wasn’t sure if he’d ever smelled that much anger on you, always the optimist and always the one person trying to stay positive, but something had you furious and Scott wanted to know what it was.
Or rather who.
As Stiles fully entered the hallway, you instantly dashed forward.
“You fucking asshole!”
Scott was frozen as he watched you reach back and smack Stiles with your flat hand across his cheek.
His best friend turned away with a hiss. “What the hell! Are you fucking insane, (y/n)?!”
“No, but you are the biggest fucking douche in existence! That was for Malia by the way!”
“Wait, did she told you to slap me?!”
“No, asshole! Of course not.” you rubbed your temples in annoyance before glaring at the boy in front of you. “Are you... like do you even KNOW how heartbroken she still is about your break up?!”
“Well, it was a break up. They tend to suck but I’m not responsible for the way she feels.”
“YES YOU ARE.” you didn’t care that you were screaming. Stiles was still as dense as always and you had watched them stepping on Malia’s feelings like it was nothing for long enough. Stiles tried to take a step back as you got into his space but you weren’t having any of it. “Maybe you shouldn’t have used her in the fist place if you were still crushing on the Banshee.”
“(y/n), that’s unfair and you know it.”
Lydia’s voice made you turn your attention away from Stiles and fixate her instead.
“No, you know what’s unfair? Treating pack like they don’t belong in it!
Looking back up into Stiles shocked eyes, a new wave of rage hit you.
“Don’t look so fucking surprised, Stiles! You ignored Malia ever since you broke up with her! You even ignored her feelings because you were too busy running after the girl you had been crushing on for years and you don’t even care! You don’t care one bit about your ex-girlfriend and maybe she is too nice to say something but I’m not and you are a fucking asshole for breaking her heart.”
“It’s not my problem that she can’t get over it.”
“SHE can’t- ... wow.” a dry laughter escaped your lips and you got the urge to slap Stiles a second time. “You’re even worse than I thought.”
You realized that it had no use. This took more energy than it was worth.
“You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, both of you!
But I still hope you guys get happy together. You definitely deserve each other.”
And with that you were out of the door and back on your way home where Malia was waiting.
You couldn’t say that your anger had magically dissapeared by yelling at Stiles, but you had said anything that had been on your mind and maybe, just maybe it had made Stiles and Lydia think about how unfairly they were treating their own pack.
#malia x reader#I guess?#malia one shot#malia story#malia tate story#malia tate one shot#anti stydia#anti jeff davis#yes maybe even#anti stiles#for this fic at least#season 6 makes me mad#have fun reading?#anti!stydia#anti!Jeff davis#teen wolf story#teen wolf one shot#teen wolf#malia tate#malia tate x reader#malia hale#malia hale one shot#malia hale sotry
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WCW Monday Nitro 29/07/1996
Here we go boys and girls...
You know, I just realised I have no idea what that “Q” shape in the top right hand corner actually means. To Google!
OK well, I had a brief check and I still don’t know. Answers on a postcard.
Something else I just noticed...
Hogan’s screaming face right next to a building that says “prescriptions”... I don’t think I need to comment any further.
“WCW Monday Nitro ignites once again!” screams Tony Schiavone as we get a high shot of the WCW set at Universal.
The magic kingdom has never been more magical.
As always we are welcomed by Mr Schiavone and “Living Legend” Larry Zbyszko. They’re both wearing Mickey Mouse shirts which is somewhat appropriate. Larry doesn’t look best pleased about it.
Tony informs us that there are two title matches tonight. The Giant will be defending his World Heavyweight title against Arn Anderson, whilst Rey Mysterio Jr will be defending his cruisweight title against Eddie Guerrero. I’m guessing one of those matches is going to be far more entertaining than the other. Tony also hypes the American Males Vs the Steiner Brothers, but... meh. The American Males suck.
Tony brings up that WCW has recently been under attack from the New World Order. Larry refers to them as the “new world odor”. Very clever, Larry. Zbszko says the nWo are in control and picking their spots. Really they’re just being allowed to do pretty much whatever they want. WCW could have these guys thrown out in their asses for all sorts of shit, but nope. Nobody ever questions why.
We go to footage that Tony says was sent to them (not established by who) of Hall and Nash standing outside some kind of building looking a little bit high.
Next up we see footage of Luger and Sting coming out the back of some arena. Apparently this is a WCW Saturday Night taping. I assume the Outsiders filmed this footage or had somebody film it for them, as you can hear them saying mostly unintelligible shit in the background. Luger gets called away, leaving Sting by himself.
At this point the Outsiders attack Sting from behind, shove him half way into the boot of a car and slam the door onto his back. They then beat Sting up some more before running off. This is all being filmed. Larry and Tony express minor disgust, as if they aren’t literally watching a guy getting the shit beaten out of him on tape, and say it’ll be dealt with at the Hog Wild PPV.
Obviously another way to deal with it would be to, I don’t know, send this tape to the police? A blatant, pre-meditated assault filmed in its entirety before and after. You aren’t going to get much more clear-cut evidence. But, y’know, wrestling.
Tony calmly states that Sting is OK and suffered “minor injuries”. Well, that’s fine then.
Some vaguely old school Western movie music plays and out comes the former Mauler, Mike Enos, aka one half of the worst named team in the world, “Rough ‘n’ Ready”. I think he was Ready.
His opponent is the ultra patriotic numbskull Jim Duggan. “Not Hacksaw” sighs Larry, and I’m with you living legend. Why? Why?
Mike “Ready” Enos Vs “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan
What a way to start the show. And yes, that was heavy, heavy sarcasm. For fuck’s sake. Couldn’t we have started with Rey Vs Eddie? Maybe just not had this match at all?
There are some contrasting emotions in the crowd as Hacksaw comes out...
The guy on the right seems happy to see Duggan. The guy on the left looks like me when I realised who was coming out. Come to think of it, I think that guy on the right was the dude aggressively booing Konnan last time. Loves ultra patriotic Jim Duggan, hates Mexican konnan to the point where it looked like his head was about to explode... pretty sure this guy is now a Trump supporter. I’ve just dated this blog, but for reference we’re in 2018, so that’s a relevant thought for at least another few years.
The crowd start chanting “USA” straight away. I think they’re both from the States so it’s not a chant that favours either man. Hacksaw is instantly furious, for some reason, and wants to start beating up Enos before the bell event rings.
The ref is like “bro, bro... calm down. We’re at Disneyworld.”
Duggan clotheslines Enos over the top rope after about a minute. Remember how last week Norton got disqualified for doing the exact same thing to Dave Taylor? No such luck here. Damn it.
I notice Enos has “Rough and Ready” on the back of his sleeveless jacket..
.What’s the snake meant to represent? Are snakes known for being rough or ready?
Enos and Hacksaw give each other some pretty nasty looking headbutts...
What’s funny is that Enos’s headbutt was more of a leaning his head in and pushing, whereas Hacksaw just went charging in there and smashed their heads together. Looked brutal. Also Hacksaw is fucking thick. And I don’t mean “thicc”, I just mean thick. Stout. Rotund.
Larry repeats his “new world odor” phrase for about the fifth time already. It’s not that original or funny Larry, give it a rest.
Look how empty the front row is. Where the hell is everybody? Normally that front row is full, and usually with really strange people too. I wonder if the black guy in the bottom left still has his “hulkster” shirt, or whether that’s now been disposed of...
Enos is putting on this really shitty looking chinlock.
It doesn’t look remotely painful. He’s literally just cupping Hacksaw’s chin in his hands. I mean, to go from those brutal headbutts to this is silly. This goes on forever. Even Larry basically says the chinlock is bullshit and not being applied properly.
This match has been going on for about 6 minutes and Duggan looks like he’s run a marathon.
Duggan comes off the ropes and goes for a roll up...
Did not want or need to see Enos’s arse crack, thanks. Sometimes I wonder if WCW understand their audience is predominantly heterosexual males. I mean, between this and that baywatch-esque clip from a few shows ago with Jim “Jobber” Powers, Alex Wright, etc stripping off their clothes in slow motion... I’m starting to wonder.
Tony actually calls attention to the four empty seats in the front row and wonders whether they’re for the new world order. I suppose it’s possible, and I can’t blame them for deciding against watching this classic.
Match ends when Enos is arguing with the ref, allowing Duggan to tape up his fist and crack Enos over the head.
Check out the black guy in the upper right. He’s loving this way more than I am.
“Hacksaw” Jim Duggan defeats Mike “Ready” Enos via Pinfall.
Expert shit-stirrer Mean Gene is in the ring to interview Duggan.
Poor Hacksaw looks like he’s ready to go to bed.
Okerlund asks Hacksaw for his opinion on the nWo. Not sure why anybody would be particularly interested in what Duggan has to say on the subject, but whatever. Hacksaw gets unusually serious as he asks people to listen.
Hacksaw asks “Hulk, what have you done?”
He reminds Hogan about the kids who look up to him, and brings up going with Hogan to the make-a-wish and special olympic events. Duggan asks why Hogan would turn his back on everything he loved, and everyone that loved him. Duggan says Hogan has held his children, and the first word his oldest child said was “hulkster”. That’s not weird at all. Duggan says “Hulkster, you’re a great technical wrestler” - lol - “but I don’t want to wrestle ya, I wanna beat ya up”. Broadly the same thing but OK. Gene says, referring to Hogan, “if you put a good apple into a basket of bad apples... enough said”. I guess so.
Hacksaw’s promo here was actually pretty good. He conveyed his emotions well, and his facial expressions really sold what he was saying as genuine. Just a shame I had to watch a match with him involved first.
We see footage of Arn creepily peering into a random limo last week...
Totally normal behaviour.
WCW loves showing this shot of Mickey. Maybe they were contractually obliged to do it.
Ric Flair’s music hits, and out come three of the four horsemen, plus the ladies.
As of yet no explanation has been given for Flair’s no-show last week. The horsemen don’t seem overly bothered by it though.
Sting’s theme music hits, and out come the Stinger, Lex Luger, and the Macho Man.
I’ll admit to having a bit of a soft spot for the “Man Called Sting” theme song. I actually like a lot of those older WCW songs - Man Called Sting, Steinerized, American Made... I have an eclectic taste in music. Don’t judge me.
Tony repeats that Sting only suffered “minor injuries” after being attacked and he thinks the Outsiders were “just trying to send a message”. Uh, no. If they were sending a message they maybe would have shoved him over, or yelled some threats, or something else vaguely threatening. The pair of them quite literally punched Sting repeatedly and slammed a car boot against his back. I love how the commentators don’t see this as anything major. Just another day in the crazy world of wrestling. Larry calls it “a game of chess”. Most people would call it criminal assault.
Well anyway, these guys waste no time, a brawl starts...
And the match is on.
Ric Flair, Steve McMichael & Chris Benoit Vs Sting, Lex Luger & Macho Man
The match starts with mostly brawling outside of the ring. Sting and Flair are in the ring fighting for about twenty seconds but they’re soon out on the floor as well. We have to go to a break, and during that break we see...
Remember how I noted the dates had been dropping from the “coming soon” part of Glacier’s promo? Now even COMING SOON has gone. Maybe eventually it won’t even show “GLACIER” any more, it’ll just be the symbol in the background. Then a black screen. Then maybe it’ll just become a Mortal Kombat advert. Would have been a better idea than what eventually happened, but let’s forget about BLOOD RUNS COLD for now.
We come back and the bell sounds. Things are finally under control.
We start off with Sting and Benoit. Sting takes charge and Benoit rolls over towards Flair and Mongo. Flair holds out his hand for a tag...
And comes in. Sting is going to tag Macho in but Flair knocks Macho off the apron before Sting can make a tag. Soon Flair and Savage are fighting on the floor, near that stupid unnecessary VIP table. The ridiculous candlestick in the middle gets knocked over...
Good. Although they’re lucky it wasn’t lit, or that shit could have ended up on fire. Meanwhile Savage picks up the bowl of fruit and dumps it onto Flair.
Fruit all over the floor. What a waste.
Flair runs back into the ring but immediately eats a press slam from Sting.
As you can see, the crowd are loving it.
Macho gets tagged in, which leads Flair to drop to the outside and plant a kiss on Miss Elizabeth. This angers Macho who runs over, but gets caught out and double-teamed by Flair and Mongo. The advantage doesn’t last for long though, and soon Savage is back on top. Annoyed by how useless he is at fighting, Flair walks off.
Bye, then.
For some reason Flair stops walking away, sees Savage coming after him and just drops to his knees begging off. This never works and I don’t know why he didn’t just start running. Schaivone says Flair was trying to hide, but if so that was a pretty shitty place to try and hide. Savage throws Flair into the metal bleachers. As he leads Flair back to the ring, I’m sure I hear someone in the crowd say “Macho, put some cheese on it”. What? He might have said “Nacho” instead, so I guess that is kind of a burn, but... not really. I suppose it’s possible he was advising a friend how to best serve nachos, very loudly, and just happened to get picked up on camera. You gotta put cheese on nachos, no doubt.
Next up Mongo and Luger are tagged in. Oh joy. The fans chant “Luger”. Say what you want about Lex, but until mid-1998 or so he was consistently over with WCW fans.
As Larry is talking about Mongo having “great teachers” in Flair and Anderson, Mongo completely botches running into the ropes and somehow falls through them.
Look at the faces on Lex, Benoit and Flair. W T Fuck? Mongo - unable to run the fucking ropes without botching, but still a member of the Four Horsemen. Both hilarious and tragic. The announcers cover for this by saying that Luger threw Mongo out of the ring through sheer strength. It’s not a bad save in fairness.
Thankfully Mongo tags back out to Flair, who is able to run the ropes without falling outside the ring. He just gets beaten up again though. Flair is just the worst fighter. He so rarely gets in any offence. Benoit comes in and kicks the shit out of Luger. Savage comes in and takes Benoit down, even though he isn’t the legal man.
Tony mentions that the Dungeon of Doom have “literally” put a bounty on Benoit’s head. I assume that’s just to beat him in a wrestling match, not actually kill him, but it’s the Dungeon of Doom so... who fucking knows. It might be to shave Benoit’s entire body. According to the Giant that’s what the Dungeon like doing.
Flair takes a brutal superplex from Sting.
That image is a second or so after they landed. Some serious impact. They both literally bounce up like they’re on a trampoline. Mongo is then tagged in again - uh oh spagettios. He basically clotheslines Sting in the corner, executes a tame looking backbreaker, and tags back out to Benoit. Good idea.
Eventually it’s back to Flair and Sting. Slick Ric puts Sting in the Figure Four.
Sting isn’t really selling it much. He looks mildly inconvenienced. Flair starts slapping Sting in the face.
This just annoys Sting, who ends up reversing the Figure Four. Flair tries locking it in again but Sting counters into a rollup.
Flair kicks out and tags in Benoit. The Crippler attacks Sting’s leg and hits him with a snap suplex. Sting kicks out at two. Benoit then puts Sting in a nasty looking Lion Tamer.
He struggles to get full extension on it due to the height difference but it still looks uncomfortable to say the least.
Luger comes in and breaks the submission up. Benoit tags Flair back in.
Suddenly Jimmy Hart comes running out, yelling at the cameraman that “we need help” and for him to “come to the back”.
What good is a cameraman going to do if you need help?
Drunk?
Well, regardless, the cameraman decides to listen to this lunatic and starts running towards the backstage area. Hart gets up on the apron and tries to get everybody’s attention.
Hilariously the wrestlers just totally ignore him, even though he’s going berserk on the apron.
Hart finally gets Luger’s attention and yells at him that they need to get to the back.
Who’s on the bottom of Jimmy’s insane tie by the way? I want that tie.
We cut to the back where the cameraman has assumedly ended up, and we see Arn Anderson is down. Hall and Nash are hanging around with baseball bats.
Not sure what that stain is down by Arn’s foot. Not sure I want to know.
I love how these two are just smashing the shit out of people with baseball bats, and still... no thought to call the police. I feel like at this point these two could literally cave somebody’s head in with those bats, murder them live on TV, and Tony would say they’re “sending a message”, Larry would say it’s a “game of chess” - where you smash the fuck out of your opponent’s pieces, apparently - and they’d try to settle it at a PPV.
Anyhow, the other guy laying on the ground is Marcus Bagwell.
His tag team partner Scotty Riggs comes out and turns his back to the Outsiders, oblivious to the fact they are obviously the cause of his partner’s injury. What a dunce. He’s also standing like he’s got rickets.
Hall cracks him over the head with something like light rigging. The camera turns...
And we see Rey Mysterio is standing on the rails here like it’s a turnbuckle. He tries a flying cross body onto Nash, but the big man catches Rey like he’s a small child, aims him towards the trailer and...
Tosses him into the side of it like a lawn dart. One of the more iconic moments of the original nWo invasion, one that everybody remembers. It looked like a rough bump to take, but kudos to Rey for taking it.
The Outsiders get back into their limo just as the Macho Man arrives. Savage dives on top of the limo and reaches through the sunroof as it starts to drive off...
This won’t end well.
The limo literally drives off with Savage riding on top. Nice knowing you, Macho.
As Savage rides off into the night atop of the Outsiders’ limousine, the backstage area is now filled with wrestlers and yellow shirt security. Just where the fuck were these fuckers when the Outsiders were beating the shit out of people? Obviously the wrestlers in the ring had a reason not to be there, but what were these security people doing? It’s a bit late to be out there now, assholes.
We come back from a break and Woman is cradling Arn like he’s about to die.
Liz and her boobs are there too.
A fire truck arrives. What incompetent idiot called for a fucking fire truck? You have three choices and the only wrong choice would be to call a fire truck. Yet here we are. What are the firemen going to do, hose everybody down?
Rey is on the ground, holding his head and yelling that “there were four”. Well, unless he’s counting the baseball bats as members of the nWo there were definitely only two. I suppose you could count three if you include the limo driver, but the assumption is that he was just a random dude hired to drive, rather than an nWo member.
An ambulance turns up. That’s more like it.
I’ve just realised this fucks the rest of the card. Eddie Vs Rey ain’t happening now, neither is American Males Vs the Steiners or Anderson Vs the Giant. Why do I get the feeling the replacements in these matches are going to be a significant downgrade?
Mysterio is having a neck brace put on, and during this time Alex Wright is yelling “Hey Rey! What do you mean by four? What do you mean by four?” ... dude, the guy just got thrown head first into the side of a fucking trailer. Screaming questions at him probably isn’t the best thing to do right now. The medics take Rey’s mask off to treat him. Tony acts shocked by this and says that in Mexico masked wrestlers never take their masks off. Of course, in Mexico they probably aren’t propelled head first into trailers either, so, you know. Hard to treat a head injury when the entire skull is covered by a mask, Tony.
Benoit appears to be crying over Arn’s condition.
Eddie wants to go to the hospital with Rey, but Alex Wright reminds Eddie he’s got a match, and he’ll go instead. The match was with Mysterio so actually Eddie doesn’t have a match anymore, but whatever. If I was Rey I wouldn’t want some German guy sitting next to me yelling “WHAT DO YOU MEAN FOUR?” over and over but the ambulance crew evidently don’t see a problem with it.
Benoit is still on the verge of tears. He looks like a little boy who’s just seen a dog get run over. Larry says “I know how much Benoit looks up to Arn. This is disheartening”. Disheartening? Is that the best word you can come up with, Larry? Disheartening would be if Arn forgot a conversation they’d had last week. The guy just got attacked and apparently severely injured by two big guys with baseball bats and all you can say is it’s “disheartening”? Jeez.
For some reason Benoit starts getting into it with Meng...
Good thing those ambulances are there. Benoit’s going to need one as well if he starts on Meng.
We go back to Tony and Larry who look a little lost. How boring must this be for the fans out there? As far as I’m aware there’s no screen anywhere showing them what’s happening out the back, so they’re just sitting there looking at an empty ring. I appreciate the tickets were free, but still...
We go to a break, and when we come back there’s still nothing of note happening.
Bischoff and Heenan (wearing the same shirt as Zybszko) have arrived, but Tony and Larry haven’e gone anywhere yet. I’m surprised the crowd are still hanging around to be honest. It’s surely been at least twenty minutes for them now.
Heenan says he’s not going to do the broadcast tonight unless he can be guaranteed he won’t be physically hurt. Probably a conversation that should have happened off-air, but whatever. Bischoff says he can’t give Heenan any promises and he should do whatever he feels he has to do. So Bobby leaves.
Tony says “the wheels are falling off here”. Bischoff says that “fortunately” the fans in attendance can’t see what happened or is happening in the back. Yeah, Eric, I’m sure they would much prefer to stand around staring at an empty ring for half an hour. What a fun time.
A funny thing to note whilst this shit continues to go down - apparently during this incident somebody legitimately did call the emergency services as they thought a gang fight had broken out. At Disneyworld. I’d like to know which gang has claimed the Disney/MGM studios as their turf. Going around spraying Mickey Mouse graffiti everywhere. You don’t fuck with the DisneyWorld Baseball Bat Crew.
Understandably, there’s a loud “BORING” chant from the crowd. Eric says the crowd are “anxious”, Tony points out more astutely that it’s because they’re not seeing what’s going on backstage and nothing is happening in the ring. Of course they’re fucking bored. This is a really cool angle on TV, don’t get me wrong, but those poor fuckers in the crowd are being screwed over big time.
An “nWo” chant breaks out. We see Arn Anderson getting loaded into the ambulance. Bagwell is then loaded into the same ambulance. Sting is holding one of the baseball bats that the Outsiders used. Bischoff calls it “evidence”. Should probably be handing that over to the police, although it only appears that an ambulance and fire truck have shown up. It’s almost like in the world of WCW police simply don’t exist. They’re never mentioned and never seen. The best we get are security guards who are absolutely useless. Remember a few Nitros ago when it took about a hundred security guards to get Hall and Nash out of the arena, and half an hour later the Outsiders were still backstage fucking shit up? WCW hires terrible security and has no understanding of how to file a charge with the police. No wonder Heenan ran off.
Fireworks inappropriately go off behind the WCW sign as we go into a commercial break. That’s the most exciting thing that crowd has seen in about half an hour or so.
It looks like High Voltage are replacing the American Males.
They’re both yelling stuff that makes no sense.
These kids have become so bored that they’re screaming in excitement for High Voltage of all teams.
“Here’s a story of two brothers, Rick and Scott...”
Scott’s gigantic arms are covered by his Michigan jersey. The Steiners come out looking quite subdued, with Rick constantly looking behind him. The Outsiders drove off in a limo with Macho Man on top, guys, I think you’re OK. Macho hopefully isn’t laying splattered on a pavement somewhere. Nobody really seems bothered that they saw Savage hanging onto a moving vehicle as it drove away.
Even though Rick is clearly bothered by what’s happened, he’s still barking. But it’s kind of a sad, tentative bark. You could argue that he shouldn’t be barking at all, but, that’s another story. A lot of things happen in WCW that make no sense.
The Steiner Brothers Vs High Voltage
Scott Steiner starts off dominating Chaos. Fireworks are still going off. Rick Steiner is still totally distracted and won’t get up on the ring apron.
Scott is starting to get pissed off.
Rick gets tagged in. He barks a few times, then turns away from Chaos and starts pointing towards the empty entranceway. Chaos takes advantage and hammers Rick with a few punches. Rage gets tagged in, and he and Chaos hit a double drop kick on Rick Steiner. Fireworks are STILL going off behind the WCW sign. I have to assume WCW has no control over this.
Rage hits Rick with a flying shoulder block from the top turnbuckle. Rick kicks out at two. The crowd bark in unison to try and lift Rick Steiner.
Chaos goes up to the top turnbuckle, and I think Rick is supposed to reverse Chaos’ jump into a powerslam, but Rick instead just kind of ignores Chaos and does a half-hearted slam motion as Chaos flips over him and crashes to the mat. Made Chaos look like a total chode.
Scotty gets tagged back in and hits Rage with an underarm suplex. For some reason Scotty tags Rick straight back in. Questionable decision considering Rick seems to be struggling to focus unless the crowd is barking “woof woof woof” at him.
Well anyhow, Rick tags Scotty back in after hitting a few moves on Rage and knocking Chaos off the apron. Scott picks Rage up in a Falcon Arrow type position, holds him there for a few moments...
Then drops him right on his head.
It’s basically the Falcon Arrow but way more hardcore.
Scott gets the three count and this one is over. Low Voltage.
The Steiner Brothers defeat High Voltage via Pinfall.
The crowd are very happy with this outcome. Two guys in the front row exchange a double high five. I guess they wouldn’t mind getting Steinerized.
Yeah... sorry. Anyway.
We’re back to the broadcast position and Bischoff calls it “A heck of a broadcast so far”. Yep. As long as you aren’t in the crowd it’s been a fairly good show.
Tony and Larry look like they’ve just been told Christmas is cancelled. Cheer up guys. Bischoff says “half of WCW have left in ambulances”, which is a pretty significant exaggeration. Bagwell, Riggs, Rey and Arn. That’s four. So unless WCW only has an official roster of eight people I think we can say that an estimate of half is wildly out. I suppose you can count Alex Wright, Sting and Flair as well, since they hopped into the ambulances too, but still.
I think Tony and Larry are supposed to be looking upset/irritated, but Tony just looks fucking depressed and Larry looks like a kid who’s just been given a time out. Eric says the Outsiders will go “wherever there isn’t security, wherever the weakness of WCW is. That’s where they’ll be”. Well, to review, they’ve come through the crowd and into the ring without being stopped. They’ve ended up at the broadcast booth multiple times without being stopped. They’ve been able to commandeer a live microphone and talk trash multiple times without being stopped. They’ve draped banners over the WCW logo without being stopped. They’ve broken into the production truck and fucked around with the broadcast without being stopped. They’ve powerbombed Bischoff off a stage on PPV without being stopped. They’ve attacked Sting after a Saturday Night taping without being stopped. And they’ve just beaten up multiple people with baseball bats without being stopped. So, yeah, WCW’s weaknesses are basically everything and I’m not convinced they even hire genuine security. If they do then they should probably look at hiring another company.
Oh, here comes Rey’s replacement.
You’ve got to be kidding. How is Big Bubba an appropriate replacement for Rey Mysterio? He weighs about five times as much as Rey and has about a fifth of Rey’s ability in the ring. The name graphic makes it look like Jimmy Hart is “Big Bubba”, which did make me chuckle.
Out comes Eddie.
Eddie Guerrero Vs Big Bubba
This match goes on for a while. I’m skipping towards the end because who cares about any match involving Big Bubba?
I skip ahead and get this visual.
Imagine waking up with that hovering over your face. Terrifying. He mumbles “Big Bubba Rogers” but I can’t make anything else out.
Match ends when Jimmy Hart attempts to throw Bubba his megaphone to use as a weapon.
Hart also hugs the referee.
Bubba lets go o the megaphone, which goes flying into the air, as Eddie grabs him in a rollup. Eddie gets the three, and that’s that.
Eddie Guerrero defeats Big Bubba via Pinfall.
We come back from the break to “the following announcement has been paid for by the New World Order”.
Cool. I think this is the first time we’ve had one of these on Nitro. The Outsiders and Hogan are in some kind of studio. The camera cuts randomly between them as the nWo music plays in the background. The video begins like a computer game struggling with inconsistent framerate.
Hogan says “it’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it”. Nash says “people wonder who’s gonna be next? Don’t call us, we’ll call you”. “Yeah,” says Hall. “It’s invitation only, chicos”.
We get a shot of the three nWo members, whilst video highlights of Hogan play behind them. Hogan says there’s a new world order, and he hopes that’s okay, because there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Nash lists “power, fame, money, and now our own corporation” as the positives. Hall says “think about it, nWo, we’re new, we’re taking over World Championship Wrestling, and we’re giving all the orders”. Not sure the nWo name really needed an explanation, but OK, sure. Hogan yells “it’s the new way, is that OK, billionaire Ted?” ... not sure if he intended to rhyme or not. Hogan quotes humpty dumpty be saying all of Ted Turner’s horses and all of his men won’t be able to put WCW back together again. That’s the second promo in recent times that’s referenced humpty dumpty. First the Giant, now Hogan. Coincidence, I guess? Or the WCW locker room really loves that nursery rhyme.
Hall starts talking about who the fourth or fifth member of the nWo is going to be, and Hogan starts laughing really loudly. A typical evil villain type laugh which kind of throws Hall for a second.
Nash is trying not to laugh at Hogan’s cartoon-villain cackle. Hall says that Sting and Luger have gotten soft at “billionaire Ted’s country club”. He says that he and Nash have had to claw and scratch for everything they’ve got, and that they want Sting and Luger. In the ring, I assume/hope.
Hogan says he almost forgot that he’s wrestling the Giant at Hog Wild for the world title. Liar. He says that he finds it ironic that WCW could be so weak to have to beg for the Giant to save them from the nWo. Hogan says on August 10th the Outsiders will become the Insiders, and with 500,000 “vroom-baa Harley Davidsons” by their side the nWo “will establish itself as the greatest wrestling organisation on the Earth, brother”.
OK. The nWo is not exactly a wrestling organisation. It’s just a faction with three dudes in it. Later on you could argue it’s more of an organisation, but right now? No.
Hall calls Sting a “painted face punk” and says “don’t sing it, bring it.” Nash says they call it “Armageddon” and that “Genesis has begun. It’s the beginning of the new world order”. Didn’t expect a shout out to the bible in here but there you go. Hogan finishes the promo by saying that as the Outsiders take care of the “top talent” in WCW, the Giant will crumble at his feet.
It’s amusing how in these promos Hogan is still basically in Hulk promo mode, yelling, hollering and using big words that don’t necessarily mean what he thinks they mean. Hall and Nash have much calmer, cooler delivery which contrasts quite sharply to Hogan’s more 80′s approach. They pull it together well by editing a lot of Hogan’s stuff to make it more succinct and to the point.
Eric Bischoff has left the broadcast position, leaving Tony and Larry to handle the last fifteen minutes or so of the broadcast. They recap events from earlier in the night. The crowd have had another long wait, between the end of the last match, the nWo promo which none of them would have seen, and now this recap of events earlier in the night that they’re also not seeing. Oh, and they had to sit through long matches involving Jim Duggan, Mike Enos and Big Bubba. I know they got into this show for free, but they still deserve a refund.
Still, we have the main event left. This is WCW’s chance to replace Arn Anderson with somebody exciting, somebody fresh, somebody who can get the crowd on their feet, somebody who...
Oh.
Greg Valentine.
Greg “charisma” Valentine.
I mean, if this was 1986 then this would have been a decent replacement, but it’s not. These poor fans.
On the plus side this is unlikely to lost long.
The Giant Vs Greg “the hammer” Valentine
It’s for all the gold. The WCW world title looked so awesome.
The Hammer manages to rock the Giant early on with a few chops to the chest and clotheslines.
Doesn’t last long though. Giant knocks Valentine down, picks him up, smashes him across the back, then puts him into the corner and chokes him with his boot. Giant then throws Valentine across to the opposite turnbuckle, goes for some kind of weird splash/elbow but misses in a move very obviously telegraphed, yet somehow the cameramen miss it anyway.
Valentine heads up top and hits a double axe handle. Giant is momentarily dizzy, but as Valentine scrambles up to the second turnbuckle to try another move, Giant drops the strap on his outfit, runs over and puts his hand around Valentine’s neck.
Uh oh.
Splat. Unsatisfied, Giant roars a few times then picks Valentine up and hits a second chokeslam.
Thanks for coming, Greg. Hey, I’ve just noticed, the dude in the middle on the left with the tash has definitely been at previous shows. So has the woman three to the right from him. I remember her dancing with her daughter to the Nasty Boys theme. The daughter doesn’t appear to be there this time. No Nasty Boys, no interest, I guess. I had no idea WCW had repeated customers for these shows, I always assumed it was just random park guests turning up.
As an aside, check out the guys on the bottom right. Either doing the most awkward wave ever or vicariously living through the Giant chokeslamming poor old Greg.
The Giant defeats Greg “the hammer” Valentine via Pinfall.
Post-match, Giant leans into the camera and says “I want you to listen real close Hulk Hogan. Pay attention, and listen real close”. He then walks away. I assume he’s going to be interviewed?
Yes, indeed, Mean Gene is in the ring with the Giant. Haven’t seen much of Gene-o tonight. I kind of missed the shit-stirring bell.
Giant is either ripping a major fart or mocking Hogan’s poses. Hopefully the latter, although Jimmy Hart’s expression suggests it could be the former.
Gene asks Giant about Hog Wild. Giant continues mocking Hogan by saying “well you know something Mean Gene, I’ve been to the top of the mountain brother, I’ve walked through the valley of the shadow of death...” Gene pulls the mic away and asks if the Giant has lost his marbles. “That’s a knock off on Hogan!” - no shit, Gene.
Giant laughs. He says Hogan “conned America”, because he didn’t believe the things he preached. Giant says Hogan started the nWo because he knew he couldn’t be “the big fish in WCW”. Giant says that whilst Hogan has been making movies, he’s been defending the title. Giant says if WCW doesn’t hang together, then they’ll all hang separately, and he’s got a chokeslam noose that’ll fit around Hogan’s neck.
For some reason Okerlund gives the mic to Jimmy Hart, who appears to have taken a shitload of High Voltage’s uppers. He’s all over the place, ranting about “living wrestling 24/7″ and says sometimes he lies so much he believes in his own lies.
Hart says that one day he’ll have to pay for the things he’s done, but at Hog Wild, they’ll take Hogan out. Well... OK, then. Sounds like Jimmy is involved in some pretty shady shit.
Gene bids us goodnight from Orlando, and WCW decide to show the Outsiders beating the shit out of the WCW guys one more time. Because why not, I guess? They show a slow mo of Rey getting lawn darted into the trailer, and the show ends with a still shot of this as the Nitro music plays in the background.
Nice. I’m sure Rey appreciates that.
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