#i was trying to limit how long this post could be
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let me take you guys on a journey. one that will help you understand how annoyingly obsessive and hung up my brain can get......
so here is where our wild goose chase starts. I was going through a 2012 f1 blog's nico tag. it's actually pretty rare for early 2010s blogs to have comprehensive tagging systems so whenever I find one I try to go thru it all. and I come across this v cute nico image (cropped for posterity. payoff will be worth it promise)
here we have a picture, from 2012, and in classic 2012 fashion there is meme text on it. OP of the original pic deactivated. so I want to find the version without the meme text. pretty easy, just reverse google search right?
WRONG!
google reverse search is functionally dead and defunct and absolutely dogshit.
ok back to square one. I'm trying to sus out from whatever information I have.
the other meme watermark of f1humour.tumblr.com? deactivated.
okay 37 notes. maybe I can do something with this.
tumblr kind of breaks (?) with very old posts. so even if someone tagged it, I can't see it. ok but 14 people liked it!
of the 14 accounts only 7 actually show, including mine. so what I do is I go through 6 of those blogs, and their public archives because those accounts are all inactive for several YEARS now. and I check their blogs for April 2012.
no luck.
back to the drawing board.
the meme has a MOTORSPORT.COM watermark.
here's all the information I have: this was posted on April 24th, 2012, which means that's my upper limit on the date this could be taken. Nico got in Mercedes in 2010. So from anywhere between 2010-2012 motorsport images couldve taken this pic.
so, because I was born with excessive intelligence, I think hmmm... let me search the archives of Motorsport Images dot com. surely that is where Motorsport dot com would keep their Images.
two years of a racing driver's pictures means thousands of pictures. okay. let's start from April 2012. unfortch for keen eyed listening, April 2012 was also the Chinese Grand Prix aka Nico's first f1 win.
why is that relevant? because it means every photographer and their MOTHER took a picture of nico for his first win. over 900+ images.
while I am exhibiting extremely unemployed levels of behavior here, I don't actually have the time and brain capacity to sift through 900 images.
I go back to the original tumblr post. this time I go to the empty reblogs. there's lots!
but because there's no tags it can't help me. still I go through every one of them because you can see the blog I found the pic from @the-fastest-waffle is listed in the other reblogs even though they clearly had tags!
and I find my silver lining. from @fuckyeahf1drivers's tags
just this simple. #bahrain #lol
if this picture is from bahrain 2012 it changes everything, as in it narrows my search a shit tonne.
375 images. This means 1-15 pages and I know the exact picture I'm looking for. I feel like I'm SO close. I can't give up now. gambler mentality 💎
so I guess what. I go through all 15 goddamn pages. and I DONT FIND IT!!!!!!!!! SCREEEEEECH
now I've lost hope. if it's not from bahrain 2012 then it can be from anywhere from 2010-2012 taken by motorsport.com which is just too big a search. there isn't anything I can narrow it down with. my search is futile.
but I have one tiny little thought bugging my mind. how come motorsport images don't have the motorsport.com watermark... so I consult a fellow archivist @vegasgrandprix on the matter.
WE AS A SOCIETY NEED TO ADDRESS WHY MOTORSPORT.COM AND MOTORSPORT IMAGES.COM HAVE THE SAME FONT
finally. finally
I go on motorsport.com
which is actually kind of not super user friendly interface finding their pics if you have excessive intelligence like I do. I go into this knowing if the bahrain 2012 long shot is actually NOT when that picture is from, I'm fucked.
I filter and say a prayer.
and lo and behold.
salvation.
one person's singular tag of 'bahrain 2012 lol' led me down this spiral, where if it wasn't for that bit of information this would be lost forever because finding the version of the pic without the meme text is otherwise near impossible. google reverse search is no help, and f1 drivers simply get photographed way too much. reblogs + tags with context literally are a holy grail. this is what I imagine archaeologists feel like. so if you ever want someone 12 years after you've posted something to go down finding out, tag your posts accordingly (assuming tumblr survives the next decade)
so why did I do it? why did I spend hours of my life on this? cause it's fun. it's like a mystery and it itches at my skin. many times I'm not successful which is why the times I am feels so rewarding because it feels almost like detective work, finding and refinding something, overturning evidence. and I have a brain that just functions Like This.
and now for the fruit of my labour, if you guys still want to see. the picture I spent hours to find the original version of. sitting proudly at the time of posting at 9 notes 😌😌 here's what goes behind actually finding and archiving 2010s retired f1 drivers online. click below!
👇👇👇
👆👆👆
#welcome to my dark twisted evil mind#if you read the whole thing... I hope u shared this journey with me. kiss!#the effort behind a stupid shitpost lol. this is what nobody sees
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Hey hi hello!
I have some things to say about new merch and jo merch in general so this is gonna be a litrle longer post and actually I think I should cange my semiotics theme (which is already about jo) about how bad their merch design is.
First of all little disclaimer: this is all my humble opionion based on what I learned in my one year of being graphic design student and an artist and designer on the internet for last 4-5 years. Before going to uni I learned most of about art and graphic design stuff by reading books and watching tons of yt videos. Second of all this critic is just coming from place of love for this band because I see so mucb potential and they could do some amazing merch designs if they give it a chance and I am fully aware how expensive the touring is and why they had to cut the quality of merch products.
So far my favorite jo band merch designs are cds (that probably required some designer to make), condoms (because they are really funny, genius, nicely designed and unique merch that fit the vibe of the band and matches their songs as well) and the new tshirt from last merch drop (which design is made by one slovenian fanartist : link.
Main reason that made me want to speak up is seeing that this merch drop will only have 100 products (my friend said that could mean 20-ish shirts per size) which how big this fandom has gotten in last year is pretty really dam limited. For a limited product I am really disappointed and I hoped for more. For such a limited product that design is the most default design they could have gone for and I am so sorry for Damon because his work is goregous, amazing, breathtaking and I could talk about it for ages and how inspiring it is but this shirt design isn't serving.
If they wanted to do bare minimum of design with those 5 images here is some of my ideas (unfortunately I don't have time to visually show them to yall on a mock ups because of finals that I should be studying for instead of writing this so try to imagine what I am trying to say and demonstrate). First is just simple instead of white choose black shirt or even better a thisrt. If you want it to go a stepp further is using their name logo font (font name is Avaline btw if anyone wants to download and use it for their designs :))) and either put it how they did when they promoted the everybody's waiting or to write idk therapy sessions or anything related to the band or it can even be some inside joke.
Something like this would make design just a bit more intersting but still bare minimum but amazing for regular merch. If they want to go a step further but want to keep the long sleeves (this idea was suggested by few people I talked too) they could put pictures vertically on the sleeves. I would find it a bit cooler if it is on the right sleeve out-side and then they put their band logo (the heart one) on the left side of the shirt where people's hearts normally are.
After exams I would definitely like to try to make some designs and just limit myself with this 5 pictures and play with typography and photoshoop to make something interesting.
Another I want to mentioned is how in my humble opinion if you are gonna sell limited edition either make it really pretty or good quality or really cursed and funny with inside jokes.
I think people (and me first) would eat tshirts (but also other merch designs) with some cursed designs or just texts that say "sparklative" or "slay pose" or "I feel SloveNACE" (this 3 were suggested by amazing people in tumblr discord server) or even let Jan photoshoop their faces on most random picture. This 5 guys with their gen z humour could make and do some hilarious merch like how amazing idea the condoms are.
Last thing I want to say is how many amazingly talented fans are. I mean even Damon was so shocked and moved by amount of talent and art made in this community. Furthermore I know (some of them as online friends and mutuals, others as just artists from same fandom) who are also either graphic design students or they work in art/graphic design/entertainment fields and some of them (including myself) would be so happy to even make few merch designs or art for them for freee or for a ticket for their show. Personally I would die from happiness if I get a chance to work with my favorite band that inspires me so much everyday to the point people at my uni think I am from Slovenia and know slovenian because of how much I include them in my uni work and how much fanart and designs I made because of them in last 6 months.
I just think there is so much potential guys might not be aware of (Idk honestly because who knows what is going on backstage in their lives). But yeah they could have even asked Damon to help them with composition of the pictures on that shirt or even hire Racik to make some pretty art or any fanartist honestly. Here is just few links of my favorite fanartists who also do a lot of graphic design related stuff (and also some of them sell their products on their own websites/redbubble/etsy/inprint/etc) :
Tia <3
Roxanne
Vic
jo.kam_ (previously mentioned her design)
Lemon
yelecx
Racik (ofc)
There is probably more but my brain for hell of it won't remember any names so feel free to add in the comments or tags more artists <3
I could probably go more in depth and give more ideas how to improve merch designs the cheapest and best way as possible but still trying to keep the quality good as it needs to be. I know there is still gonna be people fighting for this shirts and people are still gonna buy their merch but just it hurts my art/designer soul seeing this bad designs when there is so much potential and they have amazing fans and amazing crew and they work with so many talnted people and they themselves are so talented and their music inspired so many and so much.
Thanks everyone for coming to my TedTalk. <3
Actually now I am thinking and from just talking about jo work from design and semiotics perspective for that semiotics seminar I could just focus on their merch design and go more in detail about it and if yall want when it is done and I translate it in english I could share it here for people who want to read about it. Let me know I guess.
Also if someone is interested my art and design insta is lucia.without.j and my redbubble is lucia-without-j and my dms are always open if someone wants to chat or complain about anything art, design, joker out or any other fandom I am in related.
P. S. I am so sorry for any spelling mistakes and if what I said doesn't make sense. English isn't my first language.
#joker out#kris guštin#bojan cvjetićanin#jan peteh#nace jordan#jure maček#damon baker#new merch#graphic design#merch design#lucia is yapping again
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You’re the resident chilchuck expert, so I was wondering about it there’s any canon evidence that he did smoke or drink alcohol when the kids were younger. I always thought it was something he picked up due to the strain of long jobs, when the kids were already older, but you seem to think differently and I was wondering if there was anything in canon that made you think that way!
Now that you mention it I guess it’s true there’s no evidence he did. Smoking we literally only know he does at all because of one post-canon panel where he has a pipe, so no, maybe this stick-looking thing in the panel below too though, I’m not familiar with medieval blunts eh.
We’ve only gotten one panel of him and his daughters interacting when he was younger so that’s not too insightful on that end, and every time we see him young and freckled it’s in a job context so again not really where we’d expect him to be drinking. The earliest proof (/heavy implication since we don’t see inside his cup I guess) is 3 years before canon when Laios hired him, where he’s at a bar, classily placed in front of all the bottles ✨
Yes alcohol is almost certainly a way through which he copes especially with stress, so if we go with the theory he started around when work got stressful, well… Chilchuck started working as a dungeon diver ~10 years ago so when he was ~19, making Mei, Fler and Puck ~6 and ~4 respectively, so from that draw the ‘stressful enough to start drinking’ line wherever.
We don’t know what he did before that with any certainty, and it could be he did odd jobs, lived off mostly mutual aid and community work, or just focused on only raising the girls. Half-foots tend to be poor and I see a lot of that in Chilchuck specifically so I don’t think he could have afforded to not have some paying work though.
Alright, so then why do I think he did drink when the girls were younger?
I give a more complete rundown of the info we do have on his alcoholism & his family with panels and references + all the speculation I make from it here. But the most targeted and objective answer I can give is:
Of course there’s just very very little we know of Chilchuck’s life with his family, and I think that’s by design too. I think the details being up in the air is to allow more nuance of the topic, like, will trying to reconcile go well, is their relationship salvageable? We don’t know, because we don’t know. So the message of giving hope a chance even if it’s a long shot, that things could truly go either way, is more relevant, impactful and meta in that way.
How long was he usually away for work travels into dungeons here and there? How did he act with them? All we can really do is "it’s likely that", it’s a game of which way we think it’s more implied. There’s no right and wrong answer, it’s all Marcille-like larping the events out.
My main reason for thinking he did is that his father died from overdrinking and Chilchuck is very aware of that. He mentions his death casually in the extra about their stance in alcohol and in his Adventurer’s Bible profile, etc. He acts towards the alcohol presumably the same way his father did: with abandon, uncaring for the health effects, probably happily too considering Chil says "dying doing something you love is a good way to go". Very nonchalant.
So you see what I’m saying here right, wether he started early or late, his view of alcoholism is very influenced by what he saw of his father growing up, it’s something he’s always been aware of and saw in a mostly positive light, something that was inherited you could say. It’s something that was normalized to him from a young age. Regardless or where it goes from there I do think this part is pretty inarguable.
If he views it positively and we know that in the present alcohol is his favorite food that he loveees, why would he have held out on it? Personally that all makes me think he started drinking very young, especially since I don’t think they limited alcohol to age as much as modern standards (and I mean, teen drinking is obviously still a thing).
And here you could argue, maybe his father only started being more alcoholic later when Chilchuck moved out, or something! And to that there’s nothing I can say except I think that’s a strained theory, and that Chil might even have largely cut contact with his family after moving out (since he and siblings are listed as almost strangers and he doesn’t seem to have much emotional attachment to his parents, but also we know he rents out his place to "a relative"), but it’s true we have no evidence. "I’ve picked up the same unhealthy substance abuse as my father haha! No big deal right haha" repeated several times to me just reeks of intergenerational trauma, & the alcoholism gene as they call it. Like effortless sliding into drinking as if it’s second nature, it’s natural after all, it’s normal after all, it just makes sense, it makes you feel good and that’s what matters.
BUT from my interpretation then we have a whole other layer: Alcohol is of course not all bad always. I think he’s always liked alcohol and drank it on occasion and it brought him joy etc etc, but I think here the implication in the question is, how much effect did his drinking have on the family relations and how early? And that isn’t so much about when him drinking started but when the alcoholism started.
Addiction is defined by a habitual need, that has negative effects from filling that need (physical, psychological, social, etc) and negative effects from withdrawal. If Chilchuck drinks to cope and he can’t not cope without it, that’s addiction, if it affects his relationships, if it’s a need he has, it’s addiction. Addiction can be very insidious or look very casual, and how much people around the person are affected by it is case by case. Cheerful drunks can be sooo annoying and uncomfortable though let me tell you. Drunks are drunks. And this sounds harsh, but even if people around them don’t mind drunks it’ll still have some effects here and there, living with one can be such a challenge, ily drunks good luck with everything much like Chilchuck you deserve good things 🫡
Ok so with the dad thing and the "ok well maybe he’s always drunk casually but it grew worse with time around when he started working as a dungeon diver" precision made, the other bit of info we have that can inform this is that Chilchuck is on a harsh diet and that alcohol is a hunger suppressant. We know Chilchuck "used to be fine not eating for two days", that literally on screen to quench his hunger so it doesn’t keep him awake he goes to drink water, drinking is his instinct to hunger. Again alcohol is a hunger suppressant and if you want info on that the internet has a lot of research and anecdotes about it. He diets to be light enough to not trigger traps, so it’s something he’d have started after dungeon diving most likely. Between the stress and the diet, yes it’s extremely likely he started going harder on alcohol after he started working in dungeons.
There’s arguments on wether two days without eating is less bad for half-foots than humans, but apart from smaller portions there’s nothing that indicates half-foots should get less than 3 meals a day. They need less food but that’s because their bodies are smaller: the need is proportional to the body, not smaller than others’ races, the % of need is similar even if the kg amount of food isn’t. There’s also a popular headcanon with support basis that half-foots run hot and have a faster heartrate and whatnot, and that points towards a faster metabolism rather than a slower one: a bigger need for eating rather than a smaller one. He has the same bmi, 18, as Mickbell, but perhaps because Chil is much taller he’s less intensely visibly underweight with ribs showing than Mick during the bath extra, it’s most apparent when he becomes tallman.
Alcohol is something so important and omnipresent in his character that I have trouble believing it’s something that was part of only a small fraction of his life. It’s his immediate go-to, his no-brainer solution to a good time, I’ve sort of always assumed especially after looking at his family that it’s something he discovered decently young. Like he just acts like someone who’s always had alcohol to fall back on and started young idk. Alcohol is one of his 5 keywords. Alcoholism is very ingrained into his world view and life, his "it doesn’t matter" stance his ‘work hard play hard’ mentality his idea that the world is harsh so you get relief where you can, so it just makes sense to me that it’s always been in his life, if not actively then at least looming.
So yes, in summary, my take:
Alcohol was always something he wholly enjoyed to an unwise level, but it could have been considered casual until he started working into dungeons and his need for it on a regular basis intensified. Alcohol has always had positive association to him as far as we see, so when it started being a problem he didn’t see it as such. To quote him, "I drink anytime I get the opportunity to".
Why always? Approval of father’s alcoholism. Why alcoholism at all? Diet + stress & coping mechanism & emotional stunting + relationship issues, and she decided she had enough after they went out for drinks.
Conclusion
Chilchuck having drunk from a young age makes sense to me and it’s the strongest narrative angle I see on the table, but that’s objectively a me opinion, yes! There’s no evidence, moreso there’s canon basis and supporting info, but it’s all very left up to interpretation. I’ve made my own interpretations of things from the scraps we see, like everyone else making Chilwife and daughters content. Wether you have a stance on the topic or prefer to leave it vague in your takes, it’ll be a matter of what you think makes most sense, or what you’d rather believe I suppose (which is literally fine)
There’s a lot of subjectivity in even just setting up causal links like you probably noticed during this and I was careful with my word choices, because we’re just extrapolating from what we see and unless Kui states it explicitly from a reliable mouth all we can do is have informed opinions on most things. This particular interpretation is influenced by other details I’ve come to form about my interpretation of Chilchuck too, the more psychological and emotional sides of him and the timeline and how his marriage even happened, unplanned pregnancy imo. Like I hope you see what I mean, this wasn’t supposed to be a speculation post just a quick simple answer but there’s sort of just no other and concise but complete way with the subjectivity nuance to put "maybe it could be yes because of this but maybe it could be no because of this" haha
#Also he’s a lot like my own dad so to me with how he is it’s just an immediate “oh yeah he has always drunk duh of course”#So i can admit to bias. Or to specialized knowledge and authority on analysis idk in which way that tips the balance in my favor or not lol#Dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#meta#alcoholism#This post was meant to be short :|#-slaps chilchuck’s family- this baby can fit in so much projection#I have like 3 chil alcoholism & chil family fic wips rn weeeeee#I’m the kind of alcoholic’s kid who grew up to never touch alcohol btw so like. Ik Chil could not have drunk young i just think he did#Can we appreciate the alcohol opinion & resistance chart actually. So often in media it’s either “alcohol’s a source of fun yippee” and#“alcohol is evil”. Thank you Dunmeshi for diversity of opinion thank you for nuance i rarely feel so seen#Izutsumi deserves to tell Chilchuck he stinks#AND BY THE WAY I hope you don’t feel talked down on anon. Ik you seem to have your own interpretation already & that’s good#sometimes i was adressing like. The General Public TM more tha you which is why I spent time on some things like ‘think what you want’ etc#Okok i hope that covers it. Help where does the time go#It’s the sort of thing that makes Kui’s masterful storytelling by implying things here and there until it forms a big picture frustrating#for meta. Like! You can’t prove Chilchuck has been poor/grew up in an empoverished family/environment. There’s no evidence#but also if you cannot tell me with a straight face that he isn’t and hasn’t like omg. But then it takes 30 pages to explain how he’s coded#Stop showing and not telling Kui smh /j#Ask
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!SELLER SHOT!
Alhaitham × Fem!Reader
synopsis: He couldn't let someone like you, such an insignificant being like you, challenge him. There was no other way to make you understand his place.
Notes: This is my first post, I thought it was a waste to leave this draft to myself. It's early morning here, so would you say this review was sloppy? English is not my native language, so I apologize for any grammatical errors. This man's return to the banner drove me crazy.
TW: Alhaitham with a big d!ck, female body reader, crying reader? angry sex, cream all over d!ck. Maybe a breedingkink, humiliation kink? I think so.
You took him seriously.
His falling gray hair could be counted every time he spoke to you. With that mischievous and sarcastic smile that made fun of him.
An exchange has never been smooth and easy between you. Obviously, it was a pleasure to have the scribe in your store, wanting your help with something or looking for an object, and you, of course, took advantage of the situation.
Sometimes he said that such an item did not exist, sometimes he put the value at a horrendous high level and the biggest excuse of all:
"I think you are not worthy of my wares, Scribe." His arms crossed below his chest, giving that smile.
Alhaitham hated you. How could someone of his size and position disturb his peace so easily and quickly, get into his mind.
Alhaitham swore he could feel his blood boil and his veins pulse with anger, but like a man of his rank, he took a deep breath and set off to go somewhere else, behind his objective.
You already loved seeing how the Scribe was almost on his knees just for your things, how Alhaitham would go so far as to beg. He loved it even more when he saw the vein next to his head throbbing with anger.
But you never imagined yourself as you would be now.
His pelvis slammed brutally against your ass, leaving loud noises from your sweat-soaked skin. His hands gripped the corner of the table tightly to try to take out all the frustration of pleasure. The same table moved brutally due to the force that the man behind you used. The floor was already dirty from the mess of the two of you, from your past orgasms, your feet on your toes, trying to get away from him.
Her moans of hatred were replaced by moans of pleasure and contextless murmurs. Eyes rolling into the back of his head every time he pushed all the way in, bringing the pleasure of having his G-spot hit and pressed.
His dick spread you so wide that it was impossible for you not to have every part of your pussy molded by him. It was so big that it took a while for everything to enter, it took many minutes of pushing slowly, filling you completely, his body trembled, sensitive every time his tip touched the entrance to your uterus.
"Who knew you only wanted a good fuck with me, hun?" One of the scribe's hands grabbed his hair, pinning his back to his abdomen. The thump of wet skin made you let out a more needy moan. “You look so much prettier with that stupid bitch face.” He laughed arrogantly, cupping your cheeks and sealing your lips with his. His tongue was brutal in invading, smearing all of your drool all over your faces.
His body hurt from how long they had been at it, how many orgasms had he given you so far and he didn't even have one? His resistance was so much that you envied, it only took two fingers and cumming on his fingers that you already felt exhausted. But he wasn't satisfied, he wanted more from you, he wanted to make you pay for all the times you humiliated him. He would destroy you and then make you his.
"Haitham, archons! P-please!" You didn't even know why you were begging so much, you just felt like you had to ask, that you needed to beg for him. His pussy clenched again, sucking his cock hungrily, spilling more of her juices down his thighs.
Alhaitham knew you were reaching your limit again, your body was shaking even more, legs restless and hands gripped your biceps tightly, your pussy suffocated his dick even more making your movements difficult.
"Are you going to cum again? Is this greedy pussy going to make me wet?" His tone was sweet and low, making you even more desperate for your orgasm. His head shook countless times, his vision became so blurred and dark.
That's when he stopped. His body gave one last spasm as he stopped his movements. His eyes met theirs, trying to understand the reason, widened by the repeated pause.
"W-why w-..."
"Lay down on the table and hold your legs like this." He guided you, always holding your waist so you wouldn't fall to the ground, especially because you couldn't keep your balance alone. "Put your leg here, I want to see you cum looking into my eyes." His tone was serious, giving you more anxiety.
Alhaitham held one leg on his shoulder while wrapping the other around his waist. He had the great vision of having his body covered with a thin layer of sweat, red cheeks and lips, eyes with tears in their corners and labored breathing. His skin was all bitten and marked by hickeys, he would say he did a lot of damage.
With just one push he was inside again, the sensation returning to his body made him throw his head back and arch his body. The moans of pleasure gained tone and spread throughout the store. The creaking of the table returned along with Alhaitham's short, low moans.
"This way go deeper, I feel like I could tear you in half if I push harder." His fingers played with your clit smugly. Alhaitham couldn't be human, the way heand it made you have spikes, it was inhumane.
The feeling of euphoria in his stomach came back with a vengeance, his vision became blurred and his body tingled with excitement. He understood of course, even because he let go of your leg with force, holding your wet cheeks and forcing you to look him in the eyes. Anger and lust dominated him so much, leaving him a wild man.
"You're going to cum looking a me, you hear? I want to see you humiliate yourself for this just like I did. And when it's over, I'm going to make sure you're not the uneducated bitch you are." He said through gritted teeth, his tone was hard and dry.
You agreed, even though your brain was already melting from so much overstimulation and unable to process anything. His mind only focused on how good Alhaitham's dick felt.
His hips increase the rhythm quickly, seeking his orgasm and yours, his hands didn't stop in one place, every time squeezing a part of him and leaving his marks on your body. The Scribe moaned loudly with you now, ignoring the people passing by the store front, following you in harmony.
"I'm going to cum! N-ngh! Haitham! Alhaitham!" His hands gripped your biceps tightly, digging his nails into the exposed skin, drawing blood.
Alhaitham growled low, closing his eyes for a thousandths and opening them again, his hands rested on his waist, pressing her pussy against his pelvis even more. The bulge of his penis in his belly appeared and disappeared due to the speed.
"I'm going to cum inside you and you're going to take every drop without complaining." He moaned against his lips. Just the mention of him filling you with his cum made you reach your peak.
And you came, giving a choked and cut moan, squeezing Alhaitham's shoulders tightly and legs tied to his hips. His pussy milked him hard, forcing him to fill you with his thick, hot cum. His toes twitched feeling the hot liquid dominate his insides.
The scribe's hands kneaded the skin of his waist, taking out the excitement of his orgasm. Breathing heavily and letting out choked growls.
You moaned as you felt even fuller, you could feel him pulsing inside you more and more. With a tidy body. Alhaitham pulled his penis out of you, seeing the white liquid mark your belly. His eyes seemed lost analyzing you.
The man's hands went behind your thighs, lifting you onto his lap. Pressing your tired, limp body against the wall. His face got closer still breathing against your lips.
"I want more" his voice came out gentle, so out of touch with how his tone was "I want you for myself"
His eyes rolled back as he was invaded smugly by him. Praying to the archons for mercy.
Because he had just started with you and didn't intend to stop anytime soon.
*
!translation or posting on other websites is prohibited!
Thanks! Bye!
#alhaitham smut#genshin smut#cuminmypussy#anger issues#breeding k1nk#anger#fem reader#alhaitham#genshin impact
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As always, only half finished and kinda edited (as most of my bg3 writing is)
This is the Weave Lesson scene. I'm playing with using game dialogue and my own for kinda the first time for this maybe fic. I can't tell how it's going quite yet.
the only context you need for this scene is Gale spends his evenings practicing his spellbook in early levels and he gets frustrated at the pace he's crawling at. I have a fragment of this earlier in this scene where he slams his book onto his alchemy table (cause my game Gale was our potion brewer extraordinaire) and Wynleth hears glass breaking. its a passing mention in this.
(EDIT: there is something else. Wynleth describes being percieved directly by Lathander. This is a reference to her encounter with the god during her Paladin vows. I haven't ironed it out but the gist is she has spoken directly with the god once before)
I'm gonna also try a new way of formatting these posts.
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“Do you want to talk about it?”
Gale huffs and runs his hands through his hair. I can see the mental battle he’s losing behind his eyes. Eventually he gives in.
“I’ve been in touch with the Weave for as long as I can remember. It’s like music, poetry, physical beauty all rolled into one and given expression through the senses. Mastering it felt as natural as breathing air. So losing it now feels like another kick in a series of blows to my ego. I suppose that was half of it.” He brings up that projection again. “She meant to bring low again, to humble me.”
Absent-mindedly, he begins to play with his earring and exactly who is hovering above his palm dawns on me like a crashing wave.
“Mystra?”
He nods an affirmative while gazing wistfully up at the goddess that spurned him.
I don’t know what to say.
“Her idols don’t do her justice.” The words leave my lips before I really think about them. It’s true though, they don’t. The ones I’ve seen depict a sensual woman, clothing and hair animated by the very Weave she commands. Sharp features and languid poses that reek of the male gaze and look nothing like how Gale presents her now. It’s almost shocking how simply he paints her. She could be just another beauty walking the streets of Baldur’s Gate. “They truly don’t,” Gale whispers back.
“I’m ashamed to admit, the way you speak of the Weave makes me almost jealous. It seems so infinite.” Poetry and music and beauty. He truly has a way with words if he can make me crave something when my magic feels like the kiss of sunlight after a dark winter.
The light comes back in his eyes as I shift the conversation. “Divine power must feel almost… limiting in comparison. Being only allowed as much as your deity sees fit.” Mystra’s visage is gone again, momentarily forgotten for the time being. The “More than you know,” dies swiftly on my tongue. He does know and that is the problem.
He gets an idea. I can tell by the look in his eye and the mischievous smile on his face as he pushes up to rest on his elbow. “Would you like to learn?”
What?
“You could teach me?”
He’s actually grinning now which makes me feel better. He’s not hung up on all this bullshit that’s going on. “Oh yes. Here-” He shifts into a seated position and takes my hands. Together we stand and move to the open space in front of his tent. I can't help but laugh softly at how serious he looks as he positions me and motions for me to stay put.
He turns away and makes for the table he has set up for his alchemical pursuits to retrieve his spellbook, snapping away the beaker I heard fall earlier. Prestidigitation. Perhaps that’s what he’ll teach me. I’ve heard it's a very useful spell with many applications, quick clean up being one of them.
He thumbs through the tome until he finds what he’s looking for based on the way his face settles in a self-satisfied expression. “This is a simple spell for channeling the Weave. See here-” He says as he positions himself just behind me and runs his finger over the sigil drawn on the page.
It’s brain-bendingly complex for a “simple spell.” Even the most complex healing sigils or anointments I had to learn were markedly less intricate. But it’s beautiful the way the lines curl and intersect.
“It is, isn't it?”
I must have said it out loud. Gale’s eyes are shining, they're so bright. He truly loves this. “Could you explain this to me, what all of this means?” I say, running my finger across the same path he did. There seems to be a start and end to the figure that the movement traces.
He launches into an explanation I only half understand but follow with rapt attention. What I do glean is I was right about the beginning and end and the segments of the glyph refer to different parts of the spell. Somatic, Verbal, and Material. This one only has Somatic and Verbal.
“I hope that wasn’t too hard to follow. I’ll admit, some of this stuff requires prior knowledge of spell composition.”
He looks sheepish as he pulls the book away and goes to set it down gently off to the side so he can continue to consult it from afar. It’s endearing, his concern.
“Some of it certainly went over my head but I’ve read political treatise and legalese so dense they make your head spin. I’m no stranger to asking questions and learning more.”
That seems to assuage him. He shakes out his arms and gives a winning smile. “Are you ready?”
“After you master wizard,” I say with a playful bow.
He makes a gesture that is almost like theatrically flipping something over in his hands. I watch astutely as something seems to glow from between them. Then he gestures for me to mimic him. I try my best. It’s a lot less confident than his, but from the wideness of his grin I’ve done it satisfactorily enough. Then a shiver goes up my spine as a feeling begins to overtake me. Warmth and… something I cannot place. It’s different from the sunlight of Lathander, or Shadowheart’s healing, or the electric crackle when Gale casts something. I must rock back at the sensation because Gale’s hand is there to meet me at the small of my back. “That’s the Weave. Don’t be afraid. You get used to it.”
It does feel like poetry. It feels like looking up from prose that touches your soul and letting the words sink into your skin and bury themselves in the very marrow of your being. I close my eyes at the feeling and let it wash over me. “More things on Heaven and Earth…” I say as I open my eyes.
“Indeed,” Gale matches my conspiratorial whisper. “That was the Somatic component. Are you ready for the Verbal?” I nod. “Repeat after me. Ah-Thran Mystra-Ryl Kantrach-Ao.”
The words are strange on my tongue but then the feeling somehow compounds, doubling, tripling in intensity. Gale’s voice is hushed in my ear as he leans in and whispers, “Now I want you to picture in your mind the concept of Harmony. As true as you can.”
My mind wheels through various options. Things I’ve been taught are harmony. People living in peace together. Unwavering Devotion to the Morninglord. People singing different words and notes but bringing together something transcendent and beautiful.
None of it seems to fit.
Harmony is this. It’s sitting in a Druid’s Grove full of people who just want to survive, surrounded by nature and beauty and finding a moment of peace despite the hell of our reality. It’s taking precious minutes of our lives for an impromptu magic lesson in a discipline I am wholly unfamiliar with. It's Gale's patience and my eagerness and this feeling rolling over me in waves.
My hand finds Gale’s as a pulse of energy issues forth.
An energy field envelops us. It plays with our clothes like a breeze in the absence of any detectable current. Weave. Purple and blue and as fine as spun sugar. It tastes sweet and floral and electric in a good way.
Poetry and music and beauty all rolled into one. Gale has never been more right.
“It’s beautiful Gale.”
“That doesn’t even begin to describe it.” He muses, his eyes reflecting the beautiful light surrounding us.
“No. No it doesn’t, I choke out around an incredulous laugh. I feel the urge to weep and laugh and dance all at once. This is incredible.
Instead, we stand like this- Gale’s hand pressed against my back and his other clasped in mine- breathing in what feels to me like the cosmos for some time.
“Do you feel her? Watching over us?” A reverent tone has taken over his voice as Gale breaks our reverie. Calling attention to it suddenly helps me put the feeling into words. We are being perceived by Mystra of all things. It’s a strange feeling, different than it was being perceived by Lathander. This is less direct, more idle than anything. It’s the comfort of knowing she is there. She is watching over us and keeping us safe. Tangible reassurance that your faith is not misplaced. This is a prayer answered.
“Thank you,” I say with a squeeze of my hand. We are making the most direct eye contact we have this entire encounter. No more passing glances that happen to meet or gazing at the other as they experience the majesty unfolding around us. Connection, true connection this time.
“For what?” Gale breaths, like he truly doesn’t know what a gift this is.
“For teaching me. For giving me a taste of what you experience everyday. For opening my eyes to this.” My free hand gestures around us and I mean to follow with my eyes but find I cannot tear them away. Gale looks so alive when surrounded by magic, in a way he isn’t when he is pursuing other things. It suits him handsomely.
It sinks in exactly how intimate this moment is, the two of us connected not only by touch but by the very Weave itself. I could take a thousand nights just like this one and never tire. And what I would do for a lifetime of conversations about subjects like this one! Strolling arm in arm learning from each other. I am half-convinced even a lifetime wouldn’t be enough.
As if in the same breath, I am filled by an almost innate sense of how beautiful I look lit by the Weave. The way my green eyes compliment the hues of purple and blue and the copper of my hair stands out against the ethereal backdrop. It’s a strange and discordant thought. Not mine.
I think we both realize at the same time that they aren’t our thoughts, that perhaps the tadpoles have pulled a fast one on us or even the Weave has something to do with it. We both blush in unison and impressively.
And then we laugh.
Gale’s laugh is always loud and rapturous. Barking would be a good way to describe it. But it’s pleasant and jovial. It feels right every time I hear it. I get the sense mine is musical in the way horn instruments are. Not like peeling bells, but brassy and boisterous and unladylike. That makes sense, my grandmother hated my laugh. It was too masculine and unbecoming of a daughter of a noble house, my culturally masculine social position be damned. Which is a damn shame, it is a nice laugh.
“I- Um- Well.” Gale clears his throat, still blushing. “Unexpected consequences. Not unwelcome ones! But unexpected all the same.” I’m still laughing, gently now. “There is no harm. I’m glad someone likes my laugh.” Gale blushes impossibly harder.
In a swift movement, like a breeze blowing smoke away, the spell dissipates. It’s almost frigid in it’s absence, or maybe it’s the act of Gale stepping away that brings the chill. I refuse to let him release my hand though.
“There it goes. As fleeting as the dawn, wouldn’t you agree?” He smiles at me, pleased at his metaphor.
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#baldur's gate 3#bg3#baldur's gate iii#bg3 tav#gale#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#bg3 gale#bg3 fanfiction#fanfiction#Jericho Writes
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So many people are insisting Jason is in character in Batman #148 because Jason always forgives Bruce but it feels like they aren't following Jason's story in these incidents.
Bruce slices Jason's throat open -> Jason's villainy goes up and he does not reach out (in his violent way) to Bruce for a while.
Bruce takes Jason to Ethiopia to trigger his memories of his death -> Jason tries to erase his own memories.
RHATO #25 -> Jason at first seems like he forgives Bruce but then takes over the Iceberg Lounge and threatens to leak their secret identities.
He fights him in Event Leviathan when he accuses him.
After all these things Jason does forgive Bruce but he almost always gets upset. Sometimes his character flip flops where he alternates between forgiving and pissed for some reason (often different writers) but he usually gets to be at least a little pissed.
Pretty sure the last time Jason got mad at Bruce for not trusting him was not that long ago (Task Force Z, maybe Gotham War) now he immediately forgives without lashing out . . . at all? If you don't have time for the emotional fallout just don't have that character appear.
This weird trend of Bruce being anything but forgiving to Jason while Jason is the most forgiving guy in the world, when Bruce is supposed to be the redemption one and Jason is not, is weird.
i want to reply to this ask while it's still more or less relevant and i don't have time to get into it but very quickly: 1) i will not lie, i very much do not care about jason's appearances between utrh and countdown; i also don't care for most of rhato (and the iceberg lounge plotline is especially one of those that i make fun of a lot because it's half-baked and ignores so much of already established canon i don't even know how to approach it otherwise), as i don't like any of the writers involved nor general creative decisions irt jason's status at the time, but i get what you mean: it does make sense for jason to at least lash out first (and maybe that tendency could be, in some ways, traced back to his robin days, even), however 2) i don't believe that he ought to follow that pattern forever? being in character does not mean that the character shall stay the same, and i do not have many "hard lines" in terms of post-res jason's characterisation, as long as it honours the... baseline of his background and takes it as a point of reference? for instance, i love that jason has a moment of seemingly "giving up" in countdown, but i love it because within the narrative, it's very clear that he is pushed into it. similarly, i actually could enjoy stories of divergence in dick's stern morals, as long as it is clear that there is a divergence; and finally, i'm not even against "testing" bruce's limits, as long as we keep in mind that what is interesting about it is that it is unusual. i think this is also something that is required to keep characters real and human-like -- they can't be always absolutely consistent. but that in itself requires good and believable writing, strongly embedded within the universe and their contextual history -- and that's a task that dc writers have seemingly completely abandoned. 3) which is to say, i don't think jay forgiving bruce right away would be out of character; i think it would even make sense? how long can he stand his ground? (i know that it's comics, so the answer is: forever. but consider: what makes comics interesting is when they try to challenge that "forever"). but as you said: the weird dynamic between bruce and jason here is still the problem. however, that's the problem simply because zdarsky does not care for jason; and we have known it ever since cheer (or at least it was clear to me). he also does not, in actuality, care for bruce's flaws; every single one of bruce's issues and hypocrisies is just a pretense, that in long term is to allow him to regain the higher moral ground. this is what i despise about contemporary takes on bruce so much -- because there was a time when bruce's flaws were left a matter open rather than presented as if they were short episodes that did not affect his legacy as a whole.
somehow i started talking about bruce instead... i suppose because in case of zdarsky's jason there's nothing to salvage at all. look at that dialogue... what are we even expecting anymore. i'm mostly just shocked that he finds out new ways to write him poorly. to me it doesn't even matter if jason specifically forgives bruce or not at this point; the minutiae makes any and all decisions of that sort far-fetched. there's not much to say simply because none of it is actually grounded nor rationalised within the story. writing is more than just coming up with... events.
#sorry i don't mean to sound dismissive of your points but<3 i don't respect these writers enough to get into it tbh.#as i said there could be some evidence of what you're talking about traced to robin days ->#being the only era i actually subscribe to when i make judgements on jason's characters#which i can talk about some other time...#but i'm very busy nowadays so.#outbox
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I totally believe you, but I'd be interested to see your receipts of haitham being nice if you're willing to share~
hello weary traveler please take a look at my wares~
top ten (read: 3) reasons alhaitham is a SWEETIE w/ receipts:
1) he’s got really good manners:
*leaves to the entrance to wait patiently for you so he can say goodbye* and i just like how offended he seems at the implication in the last one
these voicelines in particular stick out to convey that he doesn’t really want to be responsible for causing others trouble:
also tbh basically all of his about lines are just him talking about people’s good qualities, which always makes me a little sad when i think about most of the voicelines about him in comparison rip
here’s some faves though tighnari’s especially sticks out in regard to alhaitham being nice i think:
2) he does a lot of things for other people:
“i’m not going to field any questions” proceeds to take us to his house, gather a bunch of books to help us understand, and then field all of our questions🤔 also just the entire concept of him being able to be talked into being acting grand sage at ALL
also not included but little things like taking the time to teach us how to use the knowledge capsules, taking the aaru villager’s feelings into account/getting shani to talk, and just generally taking the time to carefully address the rest of The Squad’s™️ questions/concerns during sumeru’s archon quests
3) and perhaps some people will disagree with this one but i just think he has a very kind view of humanity:
(⬆️ from sq also not cropped cause pretty🥰)
i feel that if someone is so intimately aware of the limits and faults of humanity while also still having an innate curiosity about other people and an affinity for finding people’s positive qualities it’s indicative of an inherently kind/forgiving way of thinking
i can and will defend any of these examples if anyone disagrees😤 i spend every moment of my life ready for a debate😤
but seriously lol idk there’s just SO MUCH that he does and says that can be interpreted as kind if you look for it and connect it, like this isn’t even all the examples i could think of off the top of my head
also thank you anon for giving me an excuse to talk about him and how he is GOOD i owe you my life sorry for adding so much lol
my sources for your convenience: SQ = alhaitham’s story quest, TP = teapot dialogue, KH = kaveh’s hangout, PoP = the parade of providence event
#edit: i decided to make this my pinned because actually everyone needs to know😤#genshin impact#alhaitham#gi alhaitham#asks#he means everything to me#sorry for lacking archon quest examples im about to replay it on my second account#and i didn’t want to get tempted into watching a youtube play through instead if i went to get screenshots#anyway genshins really cool i love how there’s so much room for interpretation with characters because of the amount/lack of info they give#it’s fun!!#also very sorry to kaveh enjoyers that i didn’t address him much#i was trying to limit how long this post could be#also i think alhaithams ‘i want to study him like a bug’ mentality doesn’t come off as nice to everyone lol#insane though i’d love for someone to study me like a bug🥰#top ten asks that test my self restraint to not post 8 billion words about alhaitham every day
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I want you whipped into shape!
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#yu ziyuan#wang lingjiao#wen zhuliu#'When I say jump - say “how high'”? You know you're doing it right when you start to cry!“#Of course I can't resist the Legally blonde reference. This is the Elle Woods is canon in PD-MDZS blog#I love this scene so much. There are a lot of things to say about it and I would go over the limit if I indulged.#Suffice it to say the main takeaway *here* is that I think YZY is milfboss of the millennia.#I intended for this to be posted on international women's day but my ambition led me to keep trying to make it better.#And by better I mean I spent several days (re)drawing this one and that is **not** what poorly-drawn-mdzs is supposed to be about.#I will be making the next few comics worse to compensate <3 At the very least I will honour my time and tag it as 'better drawn'#('my time' spent hunched over my desk while I chant 'this concept is *not* above my skill level!' over and over again)#Funny story about PD!Wen Zhuliu; he was supposed to show up sooner but I kept accidently cutting the comics he would have been in.#So I like to think he just went on a long coffee run. 'Go get me an (insert coffee chain) pink drink' said Wen Chao.#'He never said from which location' said Wen Zhuliu as he proceeded to walk 100km to the farthest cafe he could find.
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sorry i'm thinking abt megumi's incessant desire to be the first to die vs. the narrative keeping him alive despite and how the most tragic ending for him is not actually dying, but being left behind. for megumi, the worst fate is living a long life
#megumi growing up assuming he will be the first to die out of those he loves#bc gojo is the Strongest and tsumiki is a non-sorcerer so they should both be Safe while megumi is just. megumi#vs megumi at 15 having lost tsumiki gojo nobara nanami etc etc and knowing it's only a matter of time before he loses yuuji too#megumi not knowing how to be the survivor because he never thought he'd live long enough to have to say goodbye#also sometimes i think abt that post that was like... remember in thg how katniss' motivation for Everything is saving prim?#and then prim still died at the end because the world they lived in could not allow someone so good to live? it could not allow#katniss the One thing she wanted most#yeah so like. everything megumi is doing and has done has been for tsumiki. it's all been for her#but the world they live in is cruel and tsumiki is too good of a person#and when has megumi ever been granted anything he's wanted? why should the world allow him his one biggest desire of tsumiki's safety?#and what is megumi supposed to do when he outlives the one person who has been by his side - the one person he wanted most to save#how is he supposed to live a long life when everyone he cares about is gone? how is he supposed to care about new people?#what's that one quote that's like. a son or a husband can be replaced but who can grow me a new brother#no one can replace tsumiki. megumi cannot find a new sister#yes losing gojo and yuuji would be devastating. but at the end of the day megumi has known yuuji for only a few months#and gojo was already a replacement for his father#tsumiki has been with him longest and she's always been megumi's main motivation#she's the reason he didn't go to the zenin clan. she's the reason he was trained by gojo. she's the reason they're all in the culling games#trying to fix it from the inside and running on a time limit#and what happens if he CAN'T save her. what happens if. like katniss and prim. despite EVERYTHING. tsumiki still has to die#THIS IS ALL BECAUSE OF TSUMIKI#BECAUSE MEGUMI WANTS TO SAVE HER#DO YOU UNDERSTAND!!!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE TRAGEDY IN BEING ALIVE WHEN EVERYONE ELSE IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sorry i'm not normal about fictional sibling dynamics. btw if you even care#hello grace here#jjk spoilers#update i just realized it's not even 7am. as you can tell i'm having a great time today
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cannot resist using the polls to make up a little collaborative story lol.. Not sure how much I can keep it up with my low energy/health problems lol, but I'll try to draw a new picture (+ write a small text blurb and new action options to vote on) each day based on the past day's results, at least for a while. Kind of like a 'sketch a day' type challenge, except story based with votes choosing what happens next. :0
#trusty old MSpaint.. the best program for very quick sketches lol#also I'm sure other people have already done this - even though I havent seen it I know its out there. If there's currently#some really popular story poll going around or soemthing I'm not trying to copy anyone. i just love things like this and do them#whenever possible (collaborative stories with friends on social media messages. making little text adventure games#in forums. etc. etc.). Immediately once I saw the poll feature I was like OH!!! IT COULD BE USED FOR THAT!!#anyway!#also posting on my art blog since it is kind of an art challenge-y sort of thing and then it wont clog up my main#blog. I can just reblog only the most recent poll on there#Hopefully will keep it up for at least a week - or longer - though I may have to skip days in the middle#my chest muscle stuff is still kind of flared up so it limits how long I can sketch on the computer#though these only take like 20-30 min depending on amount of detail so#hopefully managable llol#but yeah!!! vote!!#choose this little elf (and his cat)'s fate! : 0
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Anyway since I can't send an ask because of character limit and I gave up after trying to write it three different ways and it not working, I'll just. Idk write a short vague post back? I'm assuming a vague for a vague is fair (don't worry I don't want to be mean I just have no other way of navigating this situation.) Since I'm exhausted & but want to at least express my view of it.
Idk just on the off chance they see this or one of our shared mutuals shows them or something. My "weak subtext" post had absolutely nothing to do with Adam Warlock, I didn't even remember that I reblogged that poll before making my post. I had seen like six other polls after the Adam one, bc I was actively looking through the blog, that did the exact thing my post was about, the blogrunner (who shall remain anonymous) had Pointed Out in private that it was happening and gave several examples & it was distressing them so I checked the blog myself and commented on it, which was why I made the post. Not the Adam poll in particular which I didn't remember and wasn't thinking about. I do not know enough about Adam to say anything about either the text or the subtext or anything, so I just. Wouldn't? It really baffled me that it was read that way.
Anyway. Farewell beloved mutual we barely knew ye...
#txt#the “people doing that across multiple polls” thing was also why I left the “annoying notes” tag#it just happened to be on the Adam poll because I like Miles and it was ine of the first ones on the blog#I didn't even process that people wouldn't have the background context & would read it as being Very Mean to Adam Fans in particular#But honestly I should have & that's on me & I deleted the post for that reason#Anyway I have NO BEEF with Adam fans and don't know enough about him to make any posts about him#It's just VERY STRANGE to me that this happened like I didn't even think about Adam I was just blogging 😭#I wish they had like asked me for clarification or something like I'm a dumbass and oftentimes an asshole by accident.#And I get misinterpreted A LOTTTTT but I never know how to KEEP IT FROM HAPPENING#and idk. I don't like being misinterpreted & I especially don't like being vagued over misinterpretation so I feel weird about it ):#Especially from a mutual that I liked? But. I'll forget about all this in the morning.#I mean I could also just. Reblog their vague and respond to it maybe#But idk I feel like that's a Lot because I don't want to out them to my followers as Having Vagued Me#I just would LIKE to address it privately but the only way to do that is via ask but it would be too long if I'm being serious about it#And tumblr's ask limit is like 500 fucking characters or something. Idk I tried figuring out the character limit andnit cut it off after#the FIRST PART#It would have taken like 7 fucking messages to send the whole explanation#And I don't want to swamp their ask box#The only reason the explanation is so short here is because I wrote it out in an exhausted Whatever tone that clips some of the explanation#short. Which I don't think would go over well when trying to explain a misunderstanding to someone who is mad at me enough to vague me#anyway here's your reminder that you can have conversations with people instead of jumping to conclusions 😔#I mean I'm not mad and I understand retroactively why the misunderstanding happened#but also if they had even like PM'd me like “Hey if your post was about Adam I disagree bc xyz” and I would have responded like#“Oh my post wasn't about Adam at all and I didn't even realise it seemed like that sorry”#or hell if they'd even anon'd me about it#Like I'm... actually not a mean person... I'm not going to verbally assault someone for interacting with me in good faith...
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Always so weird when you see some queer millennials talking about “how conservative queer kids/teens are these days” as if assimilationist rhetoric, dumb, bad takes, and harassment are somehow only something that popped into existence in 2015 and is the sole purview of chronically online 17 year olds. For people who constantly crow about “queer elders,” “knowing your history,” and pride themselves on supposedly caring about those things, it’s incredible to see just how easily they ignore the fact that none of this behavior is new.
Respectability politics have existed in the queer movement for as long as there’s been a queer movement—they’re an infamous part of every justice movement, because it’s fundamentally a question of what equality and rights mean and how they can be obtained and ensured. The advent of the internet definitely changed various parts of the discourse around queerness alongside increased visibility and all that entails, but things weren’t better in the mythologized past that they seem to yearn for when gays were “actually radical” and apparently always acted in perfectly logical ways without any in-fighting or arguing over petty bullshit. There’s such a willingness to forget that all of the online tactics, behaviors, and ideas queer millennials project onto the Entirety of gen z were ones they themselves pioneered and still very much engage in today (and moreover, that these underlying attitudes and practices resulted from older offline beliefs, were things they learned from people older than them, and so on and so forth). There’s nothing uniquely conservative or dangerous about queer members of gen z compared to any other generation of queer people—people saying otherwise are just stuck in a echo chamber like literally everybody else and falsely believing that the worst members of a given group are representative of an entire generation’s beliefs. Saying that millennials or gen x’ers or anyone but gen z are a ~uniquely enlightened generation~ is just an excuse people use to soothe their own anxieties about aging and losing relevance, the uncertainty of the world around them, worsening economic and social outcomes, and the fact that they never made peace with their own teenage selves or the way they used to (and often still do) behave incredibly poorly to others online (note: worsening socioeconomic and political outcomes alongside increased criminalization of queer identity affect kids too, and they’re hyper-aware of this as well—these same forces exist for each generation, and is continually getting worse each year!). It’s the same stripping of nuance and autonomy that happens to every generation by the last when they reach their teenage years and young adulthood. It’s “kids these days” rhetoric with a leftist spin, but that leftist spin is only there to give a moral backing to their contempt for and sense of superiority over young people, not out of any desire to see people change or genuine concern for the teens and young adults in their lives.
Other queer people, especially queer kids, teens, and young adults are not your enemy. They’re just people, with lives, beliefs, and takes just as good and shitty as yours. And at a time in which queer rights, especially the rights and autonomy of queer children and teens, are increasingly under attack, the best thing you can do is learn to be patient, kind, and the adult that you needed around as a young queer person. Just take a moment to remember what your life was like at that age, take a look at the world around you, think about what it might be like to be a teen again with everything that’s happening now, and have a bit of sympathy and patience for the young people in your life.
#long post#long for a textpost from me at least#this is such a weirdly sticky belief for queer millennials in particular and it’s always baffled me#because it’s so obviously informed by people’s pre-existing beliefs that teens and young adults are incredibly frivolous that they don’t#know how good they have it that their opinions are shallow and dumb and ill-informed and that they don’t deserve to have opinions and can’t#challenge you. but just with a leftist twist. you’re still idealizing a mythologized past that doesn’t exist in order to justify your own#worth. i hate seeing this particular discussion because it completely misses the importance of how the internet functions in radicalization#and the way that bad takes and conservative rhetoric gets pushed on Everyone and how every age group is impacted by this in various ways#gen z queer people are no more conservative than you are and in projecting all your anxieties onto teens and young adults you miss out on#the actual issues impacting everybody’s lives and the structural causes of that online#bees posting#and don’t immediately denigrate your teenage self in response to this. you were doing the best you could with the limited knowledge and#experience you had as well. seriously just be nicer and try to look outside yourself for a second#and don’t immediately be like ‘but kids are doing a harassment and mean in my notes.’ literally everybody across all ages will do this#and be a shithead in your notes. the only reason you think this is some how unique to teens is because you hate teens#and falsely see a pattern where one doesn’t exist based on your pre-existing biases
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ive made so many text posts today ranting about various things and then just saving them in drafts because either no one will care or people might argue back at me lol ... i dont know why im so opinionated today
#the topics include (but arent limited to):#how much i dont want to have a driving lesson tomorrow#a very very angry rant about every reason i think rishi sunak is a despicable human#my thoughts on how people interact with the op of posts on here through tags#general dismay at the tk slander ive gotten in my notes today (i also actually made a post on that one lol but theres a longer version)#a rant about the temperature at the moment which led to a secondary rant about rishi sunak#a long paragraph about the tangental (is that a word?) way im trying to manifest seeing getaway car performed live#despite not having eras tour tickets#genuinely if my drafts all got posted i could never go in this site again lol#the real question is#do i actually post this or just save this in the drafts too?#fuck it
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my hobbies include watching the sheer horror on new therapists' faces when i tell them about my childhood
#eliot posts#i keep going through therapists cuz i get my therapy for free from the university#and they started putting limits on how many therapy sessions you could get from the normal clinic#so i go to their other clinic that has like. grad students getting their first clinical experiences while being supervised by a real doctor#(through recordings and a 2 way mirror. i do not get to see the real doctor's face. it's odd.)#so i get a new one every semester or so as they complete their programs#so these are fresh faced newbies that i probably make question if they're REALLY uo for the job#i mean i HAVE been told i'm a good client very open about shit very willing to try things etc etc#but they do have to listen to an hour of Horrifying Shit That My Parents Should Be In Jail For#this new lady is nice though and she Gets my issues for the most part#my previous lady that i had for the summer kinda sucked. idk if she was bad at her job or just didn't click with me#but she always managed to zero in on shit that was Not The Main Issue#some therapists have this tendency to like. focus on the Standard Depression Shit and try to treat that#(sometimes even trying to treat depression symptoms that you don't even experience)#cuz that's what's in their wheelhouse#like i'll tell some long complex issue but briefly mention like ''i kinda wish i just didn't have to keep living through all this''#and they hone in on that minor thing because suicidal thoughts is something they know how to handle#they don't know how to handle Whatever The Fuck I Got Goin On. no one really does. least of all myself.#mental illness mention#abuse mention in tags#suicide mention in tags
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Hot take maybe but I think Bertie would be FAR more likely to survive the first two months of Dracula than Jeeves would be. Bertie has a healthy sense of self-preservation. Jeeves consistently underestimates how dangerous a situation might get (Steeple Bumpleigh, the club book) because he’s overconfident about his level of control over any given situation. He'd handle Dracula masterfully if they faced off in England, but on Dracula's home turf? Much more doubtful.
I realize this might be a tough sell, so I will explain further (or it's not a tough sell, and I'm going to explain further because I want to). (criteria taken from @canyourfavesurvivecastledracula) Without further ado.
Would Jeeves and Wooster survive Castle Dracula?
Jeeves
Jeeves' survival will depend on how long Dracula finds him more entertaining than irritating. On that basis, I don't think he's long for this world. On the one hand, he has a huge wealth of knowledge about English society and culture that he can recite perfectly from memory. That should buy him at least a little time with noted teaboo Dracula.
On the other hand, he would be absolutely no fun as a vampire plaything. Jeeves cannot be got. Sneaking up on him while he's shaving will yield zero reaction (though that's at least good for his short-term survival--given that, although he DID take the crucifix from the old woman out of politeness, he certainly isn't going to wear it. The rules of fashion don't go out the window just because you're in a spooky castle). Then, although managing the whims of rich jerks is not an insignificant part of a valet's job, Jeeves usually does this by bending his employers to his will. Dracula is not the sort of employer this will work on. It'll just add insult to injury when on top of being impossible to scare, NOW Jeeves is telling Dracula that his favorite cloak is several centuries out of fashion and he's not allowed to wear it anymore.
Jeeves will 100% go exploring in the areas he was told not to go-- though to be fair, he MIGHT actually get away with this, what with his superpower of appearing in rooms without being seen or heard. Said superpower might save him from the brides as well (though this is by no means guaranteed). Since I find it doubtful that Dracula would come to rescue his annoying ass, not being noticed is his best defense.
There are a couple other things working in Jeeves's favor; the question is just whether they'll be enough to save him.
He DOES know shorthand, and could try to send coded letters. He might even have the foresight to squirrel away some extra stationary where Dracula can't find it. But could he get them posted? Would it even do him any good?
He certainly has enough cultural literacy to figure out what his new boss is pretty quickly. If he didn't chuck the crucifix out the carriage window, he might start carrying it around in his pocket.
Psychology of the individual, sure, but the individual in question is a 400-year-old vampire who lives in an isolated castle in a foreign country and is regarded as a terrifying mythological figure in the surrounding villages. Jeeves has never come up against anything this alien before, he's cut off from his normal resources, and opportunities to play people against each other are limited.
He probably has enough upper body strength from all that shrimping and fishing to climb the wall, so he COULD escape if he wanted to, if he survived long enough. It's just, again, that overconfidence, and also Dracula has a vast library full of rare old books that are entirely at his disposal. He's keeping his eyes and ears alert for potential escape strategies, of course, but I don't see him being as desperate to get out as Jonathan was.
There are just a lot of "depends on"s here, and I'm not convinced that luck would shake out in Jeeves's favor, all things considered.
Bertie
Bertie is so perfect for the job of Castle Dracula Prisoner it's like it was made for him. Think about it. Being held against his will in big manor houses comes more naturally to him than breathing. He's afraid of things that are scary. A lifetime of dealing with Aunt Agatha has made him the world's preeminent expert in "curl[ing] up in a ball in the hope that a meek subservience [will] enable [him] to get off lightly." He will NEVER go exploring in places he's been warned away from if nobody is forcing him to (Rev. Aubrey Upjohn's office notwithstanding. There were biscuits in there). He's both fun to talk to and easy to toy with (and extremely English). A+ prisoner. Dracula adores him.
In my opinion, Bertie is at Castle Dracula either because Aunt Agatha got some wires seriously crossed and thinks he’s going to meet an eligible potential bride (I mean, there are certainly brides there), or because Dracula has something Aunt Dahlia wants him to steal (far less likely, given that one of Dracula’s THINGS is famously not owning anything silver). Either way, he's shown himself entirely willing and able to escape down drainpipes if a sitch gets too scaly.
He DOES take the crucifix, and DOES wear it (which is what will save him during the shaving scene, because you KNOW he's going to jump a foot and cut himself like the dickens). He's read enough supernatural goosefleshers to be genre savvy about terrified old women cryptically pushing crucifixes into one's hands. I also think his sunny disposish endeared him to the villagers, and they were particularly vehement about urging him not to go. He doesn't speak German or Romanian, but he's empathetic enough to recognize Pure Terror. So by the time he actually gets to the castle, his imagination is already running wild and he's plenty aware that he is in imminent danger.
I think the biggest risk to Bertie will be the brides; whether or not he's susceptible to trances, if he thinks they're trying to marry him, it's against the code of the Woosters to turn them down. But that only becomes an issue if he comes face to face with them, which, luckily, I think is unlikely on account of the aforementioned "won't go exploring" (and if he did, Dracula would definitely rescue him).
I'm inclined to say due to his drainpipe-escape habits that he WOULD be able to climb the wall and MAY attempt to sneak into Dracula's room to look for the keys if his desperation grows to outweigh his fear. Whether he does or not, though, he does NOT have the stomach to attempt shovel murder, and therefore won't get magic brain fever, and may very well simply walk out the front doors when the people come to take the boxes away. OR he climbs his way out like Jonathan did. Either way.
When Bertie tells this story at the Drones later, Tuppy will say that no doubt it's been greatly exaggerated and all that probably happened was that he spent a couple months in an oldish house entertaining a weird loner.
#do YOU think jeeves and wooster would survive castle dracula? let me know in the comments!#they're in the castle separately instead of together because those are the rules ok#the isolation is key#though if anyone wants to speculate about what would happen if they went together i will NOT complain#i don't even know what's going on with the tenses in this post i'm sorry#//#jeeves and wooster#reginald jeeves#bertie wooster#dracula#do i need to tag dracula spoilers?#sure there are some people new to receiving letters from our good friend jonathan harker#here it is just in case:#dracula spoilers#i have done my due diligence
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