#i wanna post saucy stuffs but i need to give warnings | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nbrook29 · 3 years

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love you to the moon and to saturn

This is part 4 of my Sander in NYC ‘verse. I posted it on ao3, but recently I’ve also been posting my fics on tumblr so here it is 😌

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Warnings: mild sexual content

* * *

Saturday, 10:00

His sleep was anxious, mind too preoccupied with stress to allow him to get a proper rest. The wake up was even worse as mere seconds after he blinked the sleep away from his tired eyes the memories of last night crept back in, flooding him with worry and making his brain replay the argument over and over again like a broken cassette. And then he checked his phone only to find a string of messages and missed calls, all from Sander, causing his stomach to twist with nerves at what they were going to say.

His abrupt leaving had been a dick move and if Sander was pissed, Robbe knew he couldn’t blame him. So he stalled, finger barely swiping at the screen as he was unsure whether to unlock it and face the consequences or maybe throw the phone back on his bedside table and bury himself under the covers to wait for his courage to come back and for his nerves to settle.

Heaving a sigh, he chose option number one because it was the only rational one.

He tapped Sander’s photo, holding his breath without even registering it.

Two seconds later he knew.

He didn’t need to worry.

Sunday 13:00

Robbe hides another smile into his glass at the thought of yesterday’s evening, trying to focus on what Marie is saying. She’s talking animatedly about a guy she met at her new internship, hearts almost flowing out of her eyes as she swoons on the wooden stool and sips her black coffee. She’s the kind of girl who falls in love quickly and falls out of love just as quick. Across from where he’s sitting, he sees Fien and Lucas rolling their eyes at her exaggerated lovesick sighes making him snort in his marshmallow latte.

“Weren’t you obsessed with that lanky guy from Starbucks last week? What happened to him?”

Marie shrugs, tossing her long brown hair back from her shoulders. “I decided he was too old for me.”

“Didn’t you say he was 21?” Robbe interjects with amusement, remembering their group messenger chat he caught up with this morning.

“Exactly!”

They all start bickering about the appropriate age difference in relationships, Robbe watching them as he munches happily on one of the soggy marshmallows he fished out from his cup, trying not to giggle at Lucas’ scandalized face at Marie calling 21 old. Robbe knows from the many stories Lucas has shared so far that his own boyfriend is a senior at college so his reaction is even more entertaining because of that.

It feels good to be around them again, Robbe thinks to himself. He’s been canceling on them way too often those last few weeks and he still feels guilty about it. They’re a fun bunch, their bantery dynamic established since day one when they all chose the middle row to sit in during their morning classes, and then promptly spent half of it bonding over the outrageous occurrence that was the absence of a coffee shop on the campus. Not long after, Robbe also discovered that apart from the passion for filmmaking, they all also like skateboarding. After that, the rest was history.

They were for sure a nice distraction from Robbe’s intrusive thoughts in the beginning of the semester. He lucked out, finding his group, his people, so early on in his college journey. But at some point even their goofiness and honest attempts at cheering him up weren’t enough. Not since the news from Sander came that he’s staying in New York until February and since the thing with Jens.

Now, observing them from over his half-drunk coffee, lips twitching at some of the more creative but still lowkey insults Marie and Lucas throw at each other, he realizes he has really missed them. They’re like siblings, the two of them, constantly bickering and teasing one another, but it’s all good-natured and amusing to watch.

“Oh my god, let it go, children, for the love of god,” Fien cuts in abruptly, before turning her big expectant eyes on Robbe, twirling a lock of her hair around her finger and adding innocently, “I’d finally like to hear about Sobbe’s makeup.”

Heat rushes to Robbe’s cheeks and he scratches at the back of his neck, bashful all of a sudden. She’s the number one fangirl of his relationship, he has learned recently, but in a cute way, not creepy like Aaron sometimes used to be with his invasive questions. She always moans about being forever single, pouting at Robbe for some fluffy snippets and claiming in faux-seriousness that he owes it to the world to share them with others for being lucky enough to have a fairytale-like love story.

Robbe has never disclosed to them how unfairytale-like some of the details are because it’s not his story to tell. But he really likes her so he always indulges her, usually after a bit of teasing. And, sue him, but he’s proud of his relationship and the fact that he of all people can call Sander his boyfriend, so even if he brags a little, he thinks he has good reasons for it.

(He’s still kinda smug when he thinks about the time when he showed the three of them a photo of Sander, a pleased little smile on his face at their reactions and playful threats of stealing him for themselves.)

“Oh yeah, I wanna know too,” Marie agrees excitedly, scooting her chair closer to him. “You’ve been all smiley ever since you came over here so I’m guessing that hottie of yours did something right,” she ends on a teasing note, her waggling eyebrows leaving Robbe no doubts she expects some saucy details.

“Oh my god, stop,” he groans as he hides his face in his hands, his friends giggling at his embarrassment. “It wasn’t like that! We just… finally talked things out.”

Saturday, 18:00 (flashback to last night)

Robbe’s been gnawing on his bottom lip relentlessly, completely unaware, to the point it’s a few bites away from drawing blood. He can’t help but feel nervous, the cursor hovering over the 'accept' button as he's rolling his eyes on himself internally, telling himself to stop making a bigger deal out of this that it needs to be. There is a bit of embarrassment clouding his logical reasoning to be honest, embarrassment about his overreaction last night.

Was it an overreaction? He's still not completely sure, but it's not like avoiding the situation is going to magically fix everything between them. Even though he'd really like that. It feels so awkward to be in this position. Robbe doesn't know what the protocol here is. They bicker, quite often even. Fight a little too, stomping off out of each other’s room grumpily but only over stupid stuff, nothing like this.

He's walking on an unknown ground just hoping he's not going to make things worse. He desperately needs their dynamic back because he's already over it.

Not being able to share the most mundane every day stuff with each other over texts to joke about it, rile the other up or just vent about something stupid like their coffees not being hot enough on a given rainy morning sucks.

So he takes a deep breath and clicks on the button before he works himself into a never-ending second-guessing.

When Sander says a soft hi and smiles at him with the usual warmth in his eyes, something akin to relief courses through him from head to toe.

He gives him his own tentative smile and a short hi, pushing himself higher against the pillows. Before Sander can say anything more, he lets go of what has been weighing down on him the entire day.

“I’m sorry,” he starts, contrite. “About yesterday. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just logged off like that without explanation. And then ignore your messages,” he adds after a pause because that’s what he feels most guilty about. He knows he’d freak out if Sander just cut him off without giving him an opportunity to talk things out, would worry himself sick.

Sander looks conflicted, brows knitted together, like a part of him wants to reassure Robbe because it's in his nature, but the other part is genuinely hurt. Robbe doesn't want compassion. Not for that, because he knows he doesn’t deserve it. Causing Sander distress is the last thing he wants.

"Yeah, it did suck," he finally admits after a moment passes, and Robbe finds comfort in his honesty. It’s a good start. They won’t get anywhere with false niceties and pretending everything’s fine. Robbe tried pretending, yesterday and most of their calls before that, and it got them where they are now.

“I mean, I know you didn’t want to talk about your problems yesterday,” pausing, he scrunches up his nose a bit, “but maybe next time just don’t log off so abruptly so I know you’re okay?” his voice tilts on a hopeful note.

Robbe just nods, feeling shameful, hating that there’s not much more that he can do when he’s talking to him through his computer, and can’t exactly reach out to cuddle up to Sander’s side or kiss the underside of his jaw as a silent apology to then stay close for the rest of the evening as they heal together.

It’s frustrating and disheartening, but it affects them both the same amount and Robbe needs to remember that. Because the truth is, Sander didn’t exactly give him a legitimate reason to doubt him or to think he didn’t miss him. Those full of hurt eyes Sander gave him yesterday at the suggestion have been eating away at him all day.

Robbe just got swallowed by his own insecurities and let the little things that bothered him consume him all instead of, well. Communicating.

Sander was right yesterday. Of course he was.

He knows he has some more apologies to give.

“I’m also sorry for not telling you earlier how I felt,” he keeps pouring his heart out, “and for, you know, assuming you don’t miss me much, and-”

“Woah, hey,” Sander stops him before he can get himself deeper into the spiral. “Robbe, I fucked up too, don’t take it all on yourself.” He adjusts his laptop and Robbe can see his face clearer now, his eyes bloodshot and tired, a clear sign of a sleepless night, and the guilt clogs his throat even more now.

“I should have seen something wasn’t right.” When Robbe shakes his head and goes back to apologizing, Sander shoots him a pointed look that makes him shut up. “I should have, don’t deny it. You know, I took a long walk yesterday after you hung up, to clear my head, but also to get a perspective on our latest talks. And I felt so dumb for not realizing you were not doing okay.”

“Sander, I don’t expect you to read my mind,” Robbe tries to joke, but it falls flat even in his own ears. But he can’t bear those big regretful eyes on him. He doesn't deserve them.

“Baby, I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you the way you needed me to. Please tell me now? What’s been bothering you, hmm?”

Robbe scrubs his face trying to collect his thoughts, to find a concise way to get everything out of his chest, but he doesn’t know where to start.

“It may take a while.”

Sander makes a show of fluffing the pillow he placed against his back and getting himself more comfortable on his bed, sighing with contentment for a better effect.

“Look, I’m in my comfy clothes, got an energy drink on my nightstand, the computer battery is full and I told everyone I’m busy so they won’t nag me with anything. I’m all yours today.” He gives him an encouraging smile, fondness etched into every crevice of his face.

Robbe’s heart does a little skip at his words, Sander’s demeanor so comforting that he feels the last pieces of apprehension ebbing away, the need to vent overpowering the hesitation of showing his vulnerability.

“I think I just found myself overwhelmed with some things,” he admits quietly, picking at his nail, an absent-minded habit when he’s nervous, as he’s trying to find the right words. “A lot has changed in those last few months, almost all at once, and I kinda have trouble coping. And like,” he scoffs at himself, “I’m angry with myself ‘cause I should be enjoying most of it, being in college and majoring in something that I actually like, and it’s great, but I can’t help but focus on all the things that are different now, things that are not so great.”

Before continuing, he flicks his gaze to Sander for a second, only to then cast his eyes back to his lap. “The last two years with you were the happiest of my life, you know? After years of bullshit and constant misery and pretending to be somebody I wasn’t I-,” he sighs, bittersweet smile on his lips,”I finally found my person, you know?”

Sander mirrors his smile, but he’s frowning a little. “But you still have me,” he reminds him softly.

“I know, but it sucks when I can’t just, I don’t know, snuggle up you and forget about stuff. It’s all your fault, by the way, you’ve been too good to me and now I have withdrawal symptoms,” he pouts, and hears Sander chuckling on the other side of the screen.

“You have no idea how much I wish virtual hugs were a thing. And kisses, oh my god, kisses too. I’m so kiss-deprived. Once I finally get my hands on you, I won’t let you go for a week.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

For a short moment, Sander manages to bring a genuine smile on his face, but it quickly disappears when the reality sets back in. There are still almost four long months to get through. He watches Sander’s smile slipping off his face slowly and he knows they’re both thinking about it.

The boy sighs deeply. “You know, sometimes I feel like it was a mistake to-”

Robbe’s eyes snap to him. “No, no, no, don’t think that, it wasn’t a mistake. Please don’t feel guilty or something, that’s the last thing I want you to do,” he stresses. Sander still looks conflicted, and fuck, this is exactly what Robbe wanted to avoid.

“Hey, I’m serious. Look, you not being here is tough, but like I said, it’s just things piling up, changing. Shit like school work that has been piling up and me getting so stressed about the end-of-the-semester project because I still haven’t figured out the details. Plus people moving away, all of that makes it difficult for me to adjust. So don’t go thinking it’s because you’re the center of my universe or something,” he ends his rambling with a feigned-offended huff and Sander easily lets them slip into their usual banter.

“I’m not?! Wow, the things a guy finds out after being such a devoted and doting and loving boyfriend.” He wipes the imaginary tear, letting out a long-suffering sigh. “Such a menace, breaking my heart in half on this lovely Saturday afternoon.” He purses his lips in offence and Robbe is grateful for Sander’s attempt to lift the mood, trying to be upbeat.

He feels a tug in his chest thinking about how if Sander was here, he’d be tackling him to the nearest surface to shut him up with tickles and loud smooches and playful jabs in the sides and how they would make much more noise than necessary, acting like the rambunctious teens they are.

That’s going to have to wait too. But he discovers this thought doesn’t hurt as much as it would have yesterday because their conversation right now, this opportunity to vent and Sander’s texts last night, all of it makes him feel better, helps him see he’s not alone.

“I love you,” he blurts out all of a sudden, and it’s something he’s wanted to say since he read his heartfelt texts this morning that almost made him cry in relief.

Sander blinks a couple times, surprised, but then his previously playful face melts into such a fond look it makes Robbe blush like it was the first time he said it.

The I love you too comes right away, soft and quiet, like he’s telling a secret, and it’s heart-stoppingly precious.

To keep himself from drowning in fuzzy feelings, he shoots him a private little smile and steers the conversation back to his friends, telling him how it sucks that it’s they all now live away and how unexpectedly difficult it is to meet up. Robbe’s used to basically having everyone at arm-reach.

“We do video call, obviously, but you know, Milan is all loved up with Ralph in Amsterdam and not that keen on leaving their love nest and Zoe and Senne keep traveling between Genk and Ghent, which with Zoe’s coursework and internship is already a struggle. I don’t think they’re doing that well, actually,” he winces, remembering their last conversation.

If during freshman year somebody had told Robbe who his best friends were going to be, he’d looked at them as if they had grown two heads. Because for real, Jana’s new friend and her roommate? And school’s fuckboy?

But life’s funny like that sometimes. Moving into their apartment in his sophomore year has been one of the best decisions he’s ever made. His number one best decision is currently frowning at him from his dirty screen.

“Oh, that sucks. Do you think they’ll work it out?”

Robbe sighs deeply, propping his chin on the heel of his palm. “Senne has been thinking about finding a job in Genk so I hope so.”

Sander huffs a laugh suddenly, shaking his head. “Wow, I wish I was in his place and there were only 2 hours between us, instead of a whole ass ocean.”

“Yeah, I think once you’re back we’re gonna have a master's degree in that long distance bullshit,” Robbe smiles at him wistfully.

“Ugh, never again though. You’re not getting rid of me, it sucks without you, Robin.” He sounds so grumpy Robbe can’t help the short giggle that escapes him, but deep down he’s happy they both share that sentiment.

They’re staring at each other now, enjoying the moment before Sander shoots him a knowing look. “You haven’t mentioned Jens.”

That sobers him up enough for the fuzzy feelings to disappear from his stomach.

Jens. There’s not much to talk about really. And isn’t that a punch-in-a gut kind of truth considering it was his best friend? Isn’t it heartbreaking that Robbe didn’t even feel like fighting for that relationship and there’s a nagging voice in his head telling him that Jens didn’t either? Just a regular heated argument was enough to finally cut that last string, to put a stop to a friendship that had been hanging by a thread long before. Not that they had noticed.

He felt awful, afterwards. More alone than ever before. But deep down he knew it had only been a matter of time. He just wished Sander had been there to pick up the pieces.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” Robbe winces, going back to apologizing once he translates his feelings to words the best he can, hoping he made Sander understand.

The boy pulls a face at him, eyes narrowed as he pretends to give him a stern look. “Enough with apologizing today, okay?” He waits until Robbe nods, albeit begrudgingly, because it’s in his second nature to keep saying sorry when he knows he messed up.

He nestles against his pillows to get more comfortable as he glances to the window, registering that sometime during their call it got completely dark outside, November days getting shorter still. He can feel tiredness starting to creep into his bones, the nervous anticipation before their call he had endured all day wearing him down significantly.

There are still some things he needs to get out of his chest and Sander coaxes them gently one by one, listening to him moaning and groaning about his school course load and how he thinks he’s not skilled enough to come up with interesting ideas and being quick to cut him off and reassure him when Robbe’s words get self-deprecating. He’s so attentive and so patient with him, not even an ounce of judgement in his eyes that Robbe feels the pressure and stress that have accumulated over the last few weeks finally letting go with each word he pours out.

When the conversation eventually steers to Robbe’s uni friends and he admits sheepishly that he kinda ghosted them lately, feeling too blue to go out and have fun, Sander interrupts him mid-sentence.

“You should reach out to them, tonight.”

At Robbe’s unsure look, he continues, “If they’re as cool as you made them out to be, I’m sure they’re gonna understand you needed some time to figure things out.”

He then proceeds to cover his ears and whistle, refusing to talk more until Robbe caves and shoots a text to the group chat, trying to keep it short, but explaining things along the way and making amends. Sander’s very pleased with his persuasion skills, beaming at him when Robbe reads him the replies he gets from Lucas, Marie and Fien, wearing a small smile himself as he rolls his eyes at Sander’s smug face.

Sander then asks about his mom and it’s so sweet because he always makes sure to ask, and Robbe falls for him even more each time he does. He’s a bit reluctant when Robbe tries to make him talk about his recent days, keeps saying this call is not about him, but he gives in before Robbe gets upset about it.

Watching his eyes light up with excitement when he talks about his classes works like a balm for Robbe’s yearning heart, Sander’s genuine happiness making his own struggles worth it. It’s a nice reminder that he’s there to make his dreams come true and that it’s everything Robbe has wished for him.

When Sander talks about shenanigans with his friends, Robbe recalls the TikTok video he watched some days ago.

“Nice Michael Jackson moves, by the way,” he comments, trying to sound innocent, but it ends up coming out a little coyishly as he bites at his finger to hide his smirk.

Confusion clouds Sander’s face but only for a second. Then, his lips stretch in a wide grin and he looks very pleased with the confession. “Have you been stalking me, Robin?”

Robbe shrugs, a picture of innocence as he keeps peeking at him from under his lashes. “I might’ve seen a video or two. They’re all so thirsty for you in the comments though,” he adds, putting a note of faux-jealousy in his voice. He quickly noticed that Sander’s new uni friend is semi-popular on the app so his videos always get a fair share of comments. Ever since Sander appeared in them, the hoard of the guy’s fans has been declaring their love for Robbe’s boyfriend under every video. They mostly make him laugh, but sometimes he’ll roll his eyes at some of the raunchier ones, possessiveness that he didn’t know he had activating in his brain.

He waits for Sander’s cocky comment, but to his utter delight, he blushes deep red and scoffs.

“Shut up, it’s so embarrassing,” hiding his face in his hands, he adds, “All of my friends have been teasing me about it constantly.”

“Aww, poor you, being fawned over must be such a hardship, how do you cope?”

“Oh I don’t know, smartass, you can tell me from experience ‘cause I saw those comments under your old vlogs.”

Robbe huffs a laugh. “They were nowhere near as detailed as yours!”

“What can I say, I’m irresistible,” Sander quips back and yeah, there he is, Robbe’s favorite (cocky) dork. “If I’d known you’re my TikTok fan, I’d have sent you those videos right away so you wouldn’t have to waste your time searching for them."

Robbe sighs. “They are a nice window to your life there,” he replies offhandedly, not even registering the implied double meaning to his words, but the immediate change in Sander’s amused expression makes him aware of the slip.

Fuck.

“So you noticed. That I’ve been texting you less.”

Robbe drops his gaze, pulling the cover further up his body, feeling awkward again. He doesn’t want to make a big deal out of this.

Sander shifts on his bed, scratching at his head. “I felt like I was too much, you know? I wanted to share every silly thing with you, but then, well, it was something Josh said that I should,” he waves vaguely trying to find the right words, “cut back on my ‘running commentary’ ‘cause it’s probably annoying.”

“Tell Josh he’s stupid,” Robbe cuts in with a huff, grumpily beating his pillow into submission to make it more comfortable.

The corners of Sander’s mouth twitch at his comment, but his face remains sheepish. “I think he was mostly joking, but it got stuck in my mind and made me question every message. In the end, I didn’t send like half of them,” he explains softly, voice colored with poorly hidden self-consciousness. “I didn’t want to give you the impression I don't have time for you, I’m sorry.”

And, fuck. They’re both idiots.

Sander’s brows shoot up when Robbe bursts into giggles out of the blue, clearly surprised with the reaction. But at this point, it feels like the only proper thing to do.

“So basically we could have avoided this whole bullshit if we just talk about all this sooner,” he groans at the realization, burying half on his face in his pillow to hide his heated face because he’s a little embarrassed he blew things out of proportion.

There’s a visible relief on Sander’s face too, eyes crinkling as he regards him with a dopey grin, and Robbe knows.

They’re gonna be fine.

“Here I thought we were masters of communication,” Sander sighs with a faux-disappointment, leaning back to smile at the ceiling. “Fuck, no more of assuming shit, what do you think?”

And that sounds like something Robbe can get behind one hundred percent, more than ready to leave their misunderstandings in the past and just do better. So he nods, chin digging into his collarbone uncomfortably with the position he’s lying in, but it doesn’t matter, he’s too preoccupied with staring at his happy face and swimming in his fuzzy feelings.

“Prepare yourself for an onslaught of photos and messages, I’m not messing around,” Sander warns, smiling at Robbe’s soft okay. “You know, just a few days ago I ended up at Pebble Beach, it was cold as all fucks, but the view was just,” he imitates an explosion over his head and Robbe giggles at his childlike enthusiasm. Then, Sander’s face softens and becomes a little sad. “That place is so romantic that it made me feel like shit without you there,” he sighs, and Robbe can relate. “I’ll take you there one day.”

“You’re gonna take me to New York?” Robbe asks, doubt lacing his voice as he cocks his brow which makes Sander scoff in indignance.

“Hell yeah! You don’t believe me? What do you think I’m doing here everyday? I’m scouting the best places for dates, finding the best skateparks and checking out all the museums so I can be the perfect guide for you!” Sander throws his hands, a duh expression on his face, but there’s a wide smile brewing on his lips letting Robbe know he’s not really offended or anything. And, honestly, Robbe just melts with his words.

“I can’t wait, baby,” he sighs dreamily, rubbing his cheek against his pillow as he gazes at him with what he’s sure is the softest look.

Sander narrows his eyes playfully from above the can of Redbull he’s been sipping on. “Don’t ever doubt I’m gonna go out of my way to impress you.”

Robbe blows him a kiss that morphs into a huge yawn, eyelids growing heavy, forcing him to blink repeatedly to stay away which prompts Sander to tease him a little about boring him, but it quickly dies out and he’s just looking at him fondly.

“You should go to sleep.” He ignores Robbe’s melodic neeees, giving him a stern look that was probably supposed to be intimidating, but he looks too amused to keep it up. Once Robbe gets his promise they will see each other tomorrow, Sander sends him several virtual kisses and goodnights before logging off.

Robbe falls asleep with Sander’s beaming face flowing through his mind.

The sleep that comes is unsurprisingly the calmest he’s had in weeks.

Sunday, 18:00

Sander: And?

Robbe: And what?

Sander: Was I right?

Robbe: About?

Sander: About your friends

Robbe: Kinda

Sander: So it means I was 😎

Robbe: :):):) yes

Sander: Thank you sander

Robbe: Thank you sander

Sander: See, you're so precious everybody's in love with you and forgive you in seconds

Robbe: 🙄

Robbe: Precious srsly?

Sander: So precious 🥰

Robbe: Omg

Sander: Haha

Robbe: We're good 😊

Robbe: But I don't think they are in love with me 😂

Sander: They better not be 🤨 I'll fight them all! 🗡💀🧟🤺

Robbe: Dork ❤

Robbe: I think they a little bit in love with u though 🤔

Robbe: They've been babbling all afternoon about how cute you are 🙄

Robbe: A g a i n *yawn*

Sander: They have good taste 🤷♂️

Robbe: Nah they just don't know your annoying habits so that's why

Sander: 😮 I don't have any how dare you badmouthing me like that

Robbe: 🥴

Robbe: You never wash your coffee cups right away so they lay around

Robbe: You always tickle me when you want sth

Robbe: You're full of corny jokes

Robbe: You eat my fries when I don't look

Robbe: You hog the covers

Robbe: And I still remember that Wednesday when you ate my last bag of chips 💔

Sander: Okay first of all

Sander: Wow

Sander: Don't hold back 🥺

Sander: Second of all

Sander: I THOUGHT THOSE CHIPS WERE MILAN'S I TOLD YOU!!!

Robbe: That's what they all say 💔

Sander: You're unfair, I thought I made up for that lil mistake 🍆

Robbe: Well you did 🙈 but I still remember 😝

Sander: Also you love my jokes

Sander: They're awesome 🤧

Robbe: I'm just messing around 😘😘

Sander: 🥰

Robbe: But I swear to god if I have to listen one more time to Marie waxing lyricals about your 'perfect moles' I'm gonna 🤮

Sander: What haha 😂

Robbe: I mean they are but like

Robbe: Chill girl he's not your man 🤨

Sander: That's right cause I'm your man 😏

Robbe: And don't you forget that

Thursday, 3:48

Soft knuckles brush his skin, body arching into the touch that turns his muscles into jelly and sends liquid fire rushing through him. He’s overheated in the best way possible, seeking out Sander’s tongue, but the boy denies him access, smirk well in place as he pulls back, green eyes cloudy from lust. He’s staring at him like he wants to eat him whole and Robbe almost whimpers, bones melting and lids closing when Sander takes the tender flesh of his neck between his teeth and bites at it ever so gently, but just enough to make Robbe see stars.

He sighs as he feels a ghost of touch on his nipple, Sander leaving a trail of kisses down his sternum as he’s moving so teasingly slow to his final destination, and he doesn’t even hesitate, spreading his legs wider around Sander’s hips in a blatant invitation, blushing hot pink when Sander sends him a fox-like grin, mouthing at his inner thigh.

The details get fuzzy for a few seconds, Robbe blinking rapidly to get his surroundings and finding himself on top of Sander, and there’s an inkling at the back of his brain telling him something’s messed up about the logistics here. He decides to ignore it, focusing back on the moment and Sander’s glistening, kiss-swollen lips, on his eyes transfixed on the place where they’re connected, and he leans down, his tongue sweeping over his Sander’s bottom lip before he starts pressing soft, spit-slick kisses into his mouth. He pushes Sander’s hands up over his head and intertwines their fingers, arching his back as he takes over, the rush of pleasure almost overwhelming him.

“Ohmygod, Sander,” Robbe breathes into his mouth. His hands are trailing all over Sander’s chest and stomach now, squeezing and rubbing almost like he’s his personal plaything.

It’s not long before Sander’s warm hands draw him back towards his chest, lips ghosting along Robbe’s, teasing, always teasing, but not granting permission to properly meet, making Robbe impatient and whine in desperation only for Sander to grin wickedly at him. He feels nails dragging along his spine, leaving goosebumps in their wake, stopping at his cheeks, massaging them to his heart content while Robbe can only pant, rocking back and forth and biting his bottom lip to keep from coming.

He’s an oversensitive, blissed out mess, trying to keep his eyes open to take a mental snapshot of Sander’s lust-blown pupils as they watch each other, Sander fucking him slowly and punching the prettiest sounds out of Robbe’s mouth.

Hips stuttering, he drops back down on his elbows to crash his lips against Sander’s, feeling his body tensing he’s so close and-

Eyes shot wide open, blinking harshly against the darkness of the room. His first instinct is to reach out to the other side of the bed, snuggle closer to the source of heat lying next to him, but his brain catches up with his hands quickly and he stops himself mid-reach, groaning as he flops back on the bed, disappointed. He kicks his covers down grumpily, letting cold air hit his overheated skin, frustrated and too awake to go to sleep now.

Fuck.

Thursday, 13:08

*photo attached*

Sander: Good morning x

Robbe: Heeyy sleepyhead 😘

Robbe: You look cute

Sander: I had very interesting dreams last night

Robbe: Oh yeah?

Sander: Yeah I'm still affected by them 😏

Robbe: Stop it I'm at a coffee shop with the guys!

Sander: I'll have to tell you about it tonight then 😈

Robbe: Can't wait 😘

Sander: Today at 16 my time right?

Robbe: Yep :)

Robbe: You know

Sander: Hmm?

Robbe: I might have some of those dreams too last night

Sander: 🥵🥵🥵

Sander: Do tell

Robbe: 🙈

Sander: Now I’m super intrigued 😈

Robbe: How about I tell you tonight

Robbe: With details

Robbe: Lots of them

Sander: Tonight can't come fast enough 😩

Sander: Looks like I will though 😏

Robbe: Omg you're such a dork 😂

Sander: Did it get u hot

Robbe: No wtf 😂

Sander: ☹🥺

Sander: Kay

Sander: I have to get up now

Sander: I'm late 🙄

Sander: Robin it's raining I don't wanna go out 😩

Robbe: Haha get your pretty ass out of bed and go be a good student!

Sander: Ugh fine 🙄

Sander: I love you ❤

Robbe: ❤

Sander: Hey no, not an emoji, tell me you love me ☹

Robbe: Haha

Sander: Come on

Robbe: 🤐

Sander: Robbe

Robbe: Gotta go 😌

Sander: Okay then 😔💔

Robbe: I love you too idiot ❤❤❤💯

Sander: Yesss 🥰

Sander: Hey that's my emoji 😏 so you like it after all

Robbe: 😂 go to class!!!

Sander: I'm going I'm going

Friday, 19:00

Robbe checks his phone for time again, not wanting to be late for his call with Sander, but there’s still about half an hour until he should get going. It’s been a pleasant evening and a while ago he would have never called any time of the day spent with his father ‘pleasant’, but there he is. Enjoying his dinner not only with him but also with his girlfriend of six months that he met in July when the first attempts to salvage the relationship with his dad have been made.

And it’s all because of Sander. The fact that he’s even here speaks volumes about his skill of persuasion. If it hadn’t been for his boyfriend, Robbe would have continued to stew in his own juices and ignored his dad.

“How is Sander doing? New York is a jungle.”

Robbe huffs a laugh. “He’s good, he fits in well in the city vibe. But, um, he needs to stay a bit longer, till February actually ‘cause the school postponed the art show.”

He goes for another bite, frown on his face at the mere reminder of the change of plans.

“You probably hate it, huh?” his father questions.

His only response is to throw him a duuuh look, making his dad snort.

“You should visit him.”

Robbe looks up from over his spaghetti, expecting to see his dad laughing or winking at him, but both him and Margaux are looking at him with unsuspecting smiles, like the suggestion is the most obvious thing in the world.

He exhales a short dad in a laugh, glancing at them back and forth. “I don’t have a spare several thousand euros lying around waiting to be spent on a trip to New York,” he explains, slight exasperation in his voice.

“Oh I don’t think you’d need that much, Robbe,” Margaux smiles at him as she puts away her fork and reaches for her phone. “A few months ago I was actually backpacking with my friend through the East Coast and, wait, let me check, I have everything saved on my AirBnB account.”

Robbe gets back to his dinner as she scrolls on her phone, trying to squish the building hope in his chest away because even if it’s cheaper than he thinks, there’s still no way he can afford it; his equipment and books for school have eaten all of his savings.

“There it is! Look,” she scoots her chair closer to him, his dad peeking at the phone from the other side. “We stayed in Brooklyn for 98$ a day for a double bed, in Bedford to be exact and the conditions were really nice, plus the train station was close by. I’m sure you could find something half as cheap since it’s just you and the room can be tiny, just to sleep really.”

“That’s a reasonable price, I think,” his dad joins in, and then proceeds to ask her questions about her other expenditures while in the city and the flight prices, debating whether it’s better to drive to Frankfurt and take a direct flight from there or maybe decide on a layover flight from Brussels.

They are so into the planning and discussing the best options that they both jump slightly when Robbe speaks again, clearly forgetting he’s sitting right next to them, a picture of confusion.

“Guys, guys, wait. It doesn’t matter if it’s 1500 euros, or even 1000 euros because that’s still a 1000 euros more than I have to spend on a trip anywhere.”

His dad is so enthralled into checking different flights that he barely raises his head from above his phone, replying offhandedly, “I’ll pay for it.”

And, okay, no. Robbe gapes at him like he grew two heads, spluttering, because hell no.

“No way, I won’t take your money, dad.”

His vehement tone finally makes his father properly regard him and he sighs after a second. “Robbe, please don’t treat it as an attempt to buy you or your feelings.”

Straight to the point, his dad, always has been. It definitely is one the reasons for his refusal, but it’s not only that.

Robbe takes a deep breath to calm down. “Look, dad, it’s still lots of money. I can’t-”

“I’m many things, but irresponsible with money I’m definitely not. So if I say that I can pay for it, it means that I can afford it and it won’t affect me.” He gives him a pointed look. Before Robbe can argue again, he continues. “We can treat it as your Christmas gift. And next year’s birthday gift. And last two Christmases gifts as well.”

Robbe thinks about the packages he received from his father those holidays, and how he sent them back without even opening. Then, it definitely felt like buying his affection.

“You’ve been doing good at school, got into the university you wanted, you’ve been more responsible those last few years that I could’ve ever asked from you. Then you worked during the summer because you were adamant about paying for school stuff yourself. I think you earn it, Robbe. If you don’t want to go for other reasons, then that’s fine, but if it’s just about the money, please let me give you this.”

“New York is the kind of place everyone should visit at least one,” Margaux says gently. She has a warm smile that immediately made Robbe like her, despite really trying not to for obvious reasons. “And I think Sander would love for you to come visit too.”

Robbe has been torn before she spoke, but the mention of Sander reminds him of their videocall a while back, Sander telling him about places he was going to show him one day, being his guide and taking him to his favorite spots in the city. He can see it all vividly now when the opportunity is at his fingertips, can’t stop the excitement filling his body at the thought of seeing Sander before that dreadful February, even though he’s still now sure what to do.

While he’s been lost in his thoughts, trying to come to some conclusion, Margaux has been typing away at her phone. “Dates around Christmas are very expensive, but what would you say about, let’s say, December 8th? Til December 17th?”

Robbe wouldn’t even consider Christmas because there’s no way he would leave his mom alone for the holidays, but… the dates Margaux offered seem kinda perfect. His main project is due on December 4th so he wouldn’t have to worry about that and it’d be fine if he missed classes for those several days. Completely unaware, he finds himself making plans in his head before he even made a decision to accept his father’s money, but when his eyes snap to his dad’s, the small smile he gives him lets him know he already knows Robbe’s answer.

December 7th, 22:00

His excitement has been uncontainable the entire day, making him so giddy he had to cancel his regular call with Sander because his boyfriend would figure him out in seconds. And that’s the last thing he wants.

He’s still in shock that he somehow managed to keep it from him, planning a surprise in his head ever since he agreed to his dad’s help and working extra hard at uni to afford missing those 8 days of school. There’s apparently been one close call when Younes almost spilled the beans to Sander during their Zoom, but thank god for Yasmina who managed to effortlessly salvage the secret, improvising and coming up with an easy lie, leaving him unsuspicious of any ploy going on.

And Robbe just. He just can’t wait. He’s been counting hours since last week, his lips yearning to be kissed by his favorite person, body pining for touch and caress.

Lost in the dreams of their reunion, Robbe’s startled by a ping from his phone, lips stretching in a wide smile when he sees a notification from Sander’s instagram. He opens it, curious, melting when he’s greeted with a graffiti sign saying ENKEL LIEFDE, Sander’s style easily recognizable to him. Underneath, there’s a heart and his own handle and that shit never fails to make Robbe heart stutter. There’s a DM from Sander waiting for him as well, the same photo, but Sander’s caption says The High Line needed its own version of my love declaration for you, but unfortunately I couldn’t find enough space for a redo of your gorgeous face Robin :( So I did this :) You like it?

He replies with a bunch of red hearts, likes the post and adds another heart in a comment because there’s never too many of those. Then he flops back on his bed, a smile glued to his face.

Nineteen hours.

#wtfock

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pocmuzings · 4 years

Text

A GUIDE BARELY ANYBODY ASKED FOR: writing smut foreplay 101.

NOTE: every body is different. every person likes different things, and reacts different ways. i’m writing from my various personal experiences as a Self Assigned Hoe, also the self titled Smut Queen of the rpc. NONE OF THIS IS DEFINITIVE. if you’re unsure- ask your writing partner first. always.

pls be warned this is quite nsfw and straight up Filth. it also is written from my perspective as a cis-gender, pansexual woman.

IMPORTANT OOC STUFF:

always, always keep communication to your rp partner open. consent is sexy. especially with writing.

gauge the mood. if you suggest something to your writing partner and they just say ‘yeah’ or ‘ok’... don’t take it as 100% go ahead. sometimes people, especially in the rpc, will say yes just because they don’t know how to say no. an ENTHUSIASTIC YES is really really good and necessary!!!

vice versa, make sure you tell your partner if you’re not comfortable with something. if you said yes to begin with to writing a scene, but slowly u start feeling uncomfortable and weird... guess what? U CAN CHANGE YOUR MIND!!! I GUARANTEE U NOBODY WILL BE MAD! IF THEY ARE- DUMP THEM AS A WRITING PARTNER! change your mind whenever u want, about whatever u want. writing is meant for u. its meant for u to be comfortable. ur lil safe kinky space, if u so wish it to be!

talk to ur partner. be their pal. be their fwend. writing smut can escalate v quickly, and if ur not an active talker to ur writing partner, then sometimes things can get misconstrued, or uncomfortable. even if it’s just a check in like ‘HEY HOW WAS UR DAY’ or ‘is what im writing ok????? i love when ur character does ___’ or idk. just be comfortable and friendly!!!

u don’t have to write paragraphs and paragraphs of smut. just.. give a lil detail though. give a lil smth to ur writing partner. like any other reply, just writing one sentence is not really enough for another writer to reply to.

GENERAL SEX TIPS THAT I’VE PICKED UP THAT HELP ME WITH WRITING:

anal is super popular and super wanted atm. i’m not going to say it’s a ‘trend’, bc it’s not really. but it’s definitely becoming more and more mainstream. this DOESN’T MEAN u have to do it / write it, but just know that most ppl atm are on the butt train (yahoo!). so.. yeah, expect anal to be a ~written abt thing or Wanted thing

other ‘popular’ kinks i’ve noticed atm (through fb groups im part of and just friends in general) are choking, and spanking. but this is NOT everybody’s kink. just bc it’s ‘popular’ doesn’t mean its right for ur character. kinky, rough sex is becoming more mainstream i’ve noticed.

a handjob is like.... not ever super wanted. it’s a handjob. it’s not the greatest thing in the world. as far as sexy things go, this is basic tier. a handjob is better than nothing, but i don’t rlly know anybody who actively wants a handjob.

same with fingering- look, fingering is fine, and it can get things in motion, but it’s really hard to orgasm from fingering. i’d say borderline impossible, but this is just from me (and, again, the gals in my lives) experience. fingering is GOOD as a beginning saucy movement, just like a handjob is good to begin with.. but climaxing from it is not Super Likely.

cum is messy and gets everywhere. everywhere.

pre-cum is a thing. discharge is a thing. women getting wet is a thing. it’lll happen. it’s messy. it’s a lot sometimes, and it’s really.. slick (idk how else to explain it, but it helps with the MOVEMENT of things greatly). it’s good to write abt bc guess what? it means somebody is turned on! this is GOOD

look a ‘tight vagina’ or whatever u wanna call it, is not a Good Thing, bc it means a person isn’t turned on enough / wet enough

when writing basically anything about genitalia... use spit. oh my god use so much spit. be disgusting with how much spit is there, bc u need that as LUBE (unless ur writing ur characters using lube!!!)

write vocal characters. in my experience, nobody is ever 100% quiet during sexy times. if ur character is being touched in a way they like, trust me- they’ll be moaning. they’ll be rocking their hips. they’ll be whispering more, more, more, yeah, like that etc.

if writing rough sex, have a safe word for the characters ic. practice safe sex even with writing! safe words are rlly good bc they also actually help create a safe ooc environment too!! that way, if somebody doesnt want to say smth ooc, they can say it ic, and hopefully feel more comfortable

write realistic sex. pls. write about the awkward noises. or the accidental wrong movement. or the laughing. sex isn’t always magnificent and beautiful. it’s clumsy and silly. and it’s fun to write it that way, bc.. look, smut is meant to be fun! so make it fun! write it as fun and silly and goofy as u want!!!!

yes cis-men have the prostate and its located in the butthole fdnjkfjkndf. but u can’t write ur character just shoving a finger in a butt. characters, just like people ooc, need to maintain communication before trying anything ‘new’ like that. safe sex everyone!!!

don’t go straight to what’s between the legs. neck kisses. nipples. breasts, back scratch, dirty talk... this is all VERY IMPORTANT to foreplay. don’t ever use write ur characters diving on in, especially not to female muses bc female bodies work v differently. we need waRMING UP! we need a lil teasing.

write hand movement! write where your characters hands are. are they carded through hair? are they gripping sheets? are they clawing at someone’s back? digging into scalps? hands are ALWAYS doing something.

writing about shaving / hair down there is not super necessary, but u do u.

involuntary noises / movements happen a lot when smth is GOOD during foreplay. gasps. moans. cries. hips jolting. mouth falling open.

foreplay is so SO important before sex. in real life, and in smut. if i write with someone and they go STRAIGHT to writing sex, no foreplay, im like ... hewwo ?? this just isn’t realistic, and my coochie clenches.

when writing... make ur characters ask the dumb qs u’d probably ask real life. ‘should i get a condom?’ ‘are you on anything?’ ‘did that hurt?’ ‘can i cum in you?’ ffjnkf u get what i mean? i hope.

cis men do cum pretty quickly, especially compared to women.

showers are fine for sexy times, but WATER is NOT lubricant.

READ FAN FICTION. there’s some really really good fan fiction out there, and it actually does help with ur own writing

if a character likes something and says ‘yeah’ or ‘like that’... that doesn’t mean necessarily to write another character ‘speeding up’ or getting rougher. if somebody likes something ‘like that’, then keep it ‘like that’, or pick up the pace a little as encouragement.

WRITING HAND JOBS / FINGERING:

finger movement on the outside of a vagina is just as important as finger movement on the inside. sometimes it can be more important, bc some people are more sensitive on the outside. (i’m not using technical terms bc nothing abt this post is technical or medical lmao)

if u don’t use lube or spit on ur hand when giving a penis a handjob.. it’ll probably hurt the person a little and be rough and not very Easy on either party

a handjob can be pretty fuckin awkward (i’ve been told + found personally). it’s just two people lying / sitting there, with one hand uncomfortably angled to jack off another person. it’s probably the most silent of all foreplay things which is why every person i know (female, male, cis, non cis) hate handjobs.

ur hand and fingers might cramp a little if ur fingering a female, and the movements might get a little clumsy, but thats OKAY TOO!!!

the angle of ur hand when fingering is important. if ur just shoving it down some pants/ trousers, it doesn’t leave a lot of movement so it won’t be super Great. under a skirt, or better yet- naked, makes things a LOT easier bc u have more Room.

write about the fingers. write about them moving up and down. don’t just rub them over the clit, or have them inside a vagina. that’s not exactly how it works. we need some pressure. we need a little rub. mainly near the clitoris or on the actual clitoris itself

don’t ever start by writing fast movements. u gotta write about building a motion and speed. start slow, then speed it up.

fingering: circular motions over near the clit slowly, then a liiiiittle faster. stroking motions up and down. moving up towards the clit properly, then back down and slowly inserting a finger. then pull the finger out. repeat. keep each movement slow and deliberate and teasing. fdjkndfbnjkdfjnk graphic, i know. but. i mean. that’s a good first foreplay move i’ve found ???

handjob: thumb over the tip first as a lil tease, then slowly roll your hand in a fist motion all the way down the length (keep ur arm in a ‘straight’ movement.) then back up. twist ur hand, especially near the tip. move a little faster if ur lubed up enough, and then u can even give a lil ball squeeze if ur feeling courageous. keep that movement going. the FASTER ur hand moves, the more close somebody will get to orgasm, bc for them it’s sometimes all abt friction.

starting with fingering / a hand job is like the first step of a dance usually. start with hands and fingers, THEN rock on baby, to --

WRITING ORAL SEX:

as previously mentioned, use a LOT of spit or lube. slick that bitch up.

cis-women are never wet constantly. ever. in fact, u can get dry pretty quickly again, so it’s not uncommon to write abt somebody spitting ‘down there’, just like u’d spit on a penis when giving a blowjob.

most cis-men like their balls being played with a lil. so.. dfjnknj write about balls. i know it can be awkward and weird and the word ‘BALLS’ is not sexy. just try mention some movement there. some playing, or squeezing, or whatever word u feel comfortable using. especially during blowjobs. it’s just a good thing to do if u don’t know what to do with ur hands. don’t go crazy and just grab balls really roughly.

if ur writing about a blowjob on a penis, deepthroating is never gonna happen straight off the bat. u gotta warm up ur throat a little, get ur throat to relax inch by inch, and not gag a lot. i promise u can’t just shove a whole dick down ur throat, unless u have the gag reflex of a porn star.

BUT also. write gagging. gagging happens a lot with blowjobs. i’ve never blown a guy who hasn’t loved the sound of gagging / choking a little

jaws ache from oral. it’s a lot of the same movements and exertion, and YEAH IT CAN HURT UR JAW

tongues are ur best friend. a tongue should definitely be mentioned when writing oral on ANYONE.

write about hands AND mouth when writing oral. (use fingers and tongue when writing about going down on a female, and use hand in a fist movement around penis, when writing a blowjob, bc gripping with ur hand what ur mouth can’t reach yet is a+)

when writing a blowjob, focus on balls, yes- but also mention the tip. it’s sensitive for most guys, so a lil swirl of the tongue, or a suck or whatever... that’s good usually!!!

when writing going down on a female- move the tongue a lot. over the clit. then back down. use ur whole damn mouth and get messy. some ppl have a sensitive clit and direct movement onto it can be a lil overwhelming / overstimulating / painful, so yes- clit is good, but it can also be a little too much for some ppl!

write about lips. when going down on someone, lips also create sensations. it’s not the same as TONGUE, obviously, but it’s still soft and warm and it’s definitely something u feel.

if ur writing about eating a girl out: tongues can be soft and flat, or they can a little pointy when u tense them. alternating between these 2 movements can be rlly good and pleasurable. starting soft and flat near the clit is good, before moving down to stick ur tongue in a little, and move it / wiggle it. but trust me - most of the action should be SOFT especially near the clit, bc it’s sensitive.

if you’re writing about a blowjob: suction. and moving quickly. hollow out those cheeks, and write about the tongue moving as the mouth does. suck hard, but not like.... ur character isn’t a vaccuum cleaner. they should suck ‘eagerly’ or whatever, and use their hand and tongue to help them out. trust me ur jaw will lock / hurt, u cannot suck a dick for like an hour.

if u deepthroat a penis enough, ur voice can get pretty fucked up sounding, but i’ve never had it last longer than the next day or so. it just sounds like u’ve got a cold / sore throat (and thats bc u do)

some people just don’t like oral. some people aren’t comfortable in their bodies and can’t get out of their minds when it comes to it- which is super understandable. it’s a very intimate, close thing, bc hello -somebody is staring at ur genitalia basically. so hey, if u don’t wanna write it / don’t like it, then that’s completely chill too!

you don’t have to write about ‘the taste’. in fact, it’s absolutely ok and i’d prefer if u don’t bc i personally think that gets a bit weird. u can mention there IS a taste, but u don’t have to get into particulars bc that can get kinda icky. like ... it’s genitalia. we all know it won’t taste like a peach or whatever.

cis-women orgasm from oral sex, i think sometimes more often than they orgasm from actual penetrative sex? this is based off things i’ve read, and again, my own experience.

oral sex can take a loooong ass time to reach orgasm sometimes. it’s barely ever a two-reply-thread piece. it’s always gonna be longer then that, if ur writing it realistically. sometimes reaching climax during oral, for any gender, can take anywhere up to an hour ??? if we’re being generous ??? again, cis men are more likely to cum first, BUT good oral sex can be dragged on for a while, for anybody.

WRITING ASS / ANAL STUFF:

im gonna say it straight up. yes. it kinda feels like pooping almost when somebody fingers ur butt. but in a weirdly.. good way. idk how to describe it.

getting fingered in the ass is SLOW work. a finger will NOT just go in, especially not DRY. u need saliva / lube. you need the other person to be relaxed, or breathing, and u need to coax them through it all.

u don’t really know whats going on back there if ur on the receiving end. like. u can’t TELL by feeling on what’s going on. real talk: a guy fingered me once and i thought it was two fingers, but it was 3, and then later- when he put his dick in it was fine as well bc he’d relaxed me and gotten me to feel rlly comfortable and Safe. so TRUST me thats important when writing butt stuff. i can’t stress it enough.

it feels Strained. like it isn’t necessarily painful the entire time, but u can FEEL very full. so yeah, nobody is gonna have a finger in their ass and then immediately be ready for another, or be bouncing back , knuckle deep. u need a lot of patience and time for this.

if ur a cis-female... butt stuff is Fine, but its not a way to achieve orgasm, bc honestly there’s nothing stimulating u. it feels nice and the Roughness can be a kink, but u probably won’t orgasm / cum from it

use a lot of spit and a LOT of lube

u can’t just shove a dick / multiple fingers in someones ass either. u gotta stretch it out. take ur time. it literally can take an hour + sometimes more to get someone relaxed and stretched out enough. the amount of spit / lube and fingering needed is ridiculous

when it comes to ass stuff- make sure ur character is BREATHING in order to relax their muscles. everytime they’re relaxed, everything moves easier (this just goes for sex stuff in general too!)

eating ass is a thing, and look- ur not meant to ‘douche’ regularly bc apparently it’s bad for u. so if ur writing abt anal / butt stuff, u do NOT need to write abt anything poopy related or any of the douching stuff. its a silent rule, just like in real life. we don’t talk abt it djknfgnkjd

honestly, the overall feeling of Butt Stuff is just one of being Full and a lil Stretched, and if ur into Pain / a very different feeling then it’s a Good Feeling bc it just is all abt trusting n putting ur body in someone else’s hands (and fingers)

getting ur ass eaten feels warmer / more pleasurable than fingers bc a tongue in general is just nicer and softer then fingers are.

spread them cheeks, boys, girls and non gender conforming folk

if ur gonna touch a cis-girls ass with ur tongue or fingers or anything... pls make sure ur stimulating her clit at the same time. i promise that can make things speed up in terms of relaxation and pleasure v quickly.

always ask a cis-male before going near his ass (but also in general, always ask before doing anything), especially rlly Straight Dudes bc they get SUPER defensive abt their own ass being touched

anal stuff can be GREAT for foreplay just bc it’s a bit risque and it’s a bit Rougher and Harder just bc it’s a tighter hole. so, honestly yeah a lil finger in the ass whilst being eaten out isn’t terrible, or being fingered there at the same time as being fingered elsewhere can also feel pretty Spicy, depending on ur taste

for cis-men, butt stuff can be a VERY quick way to orgasm. especially if ur blowing them / stroking them at the same time

anal / ass stuff isn’t for everyone. don’t write it if ur not comfortable. don’t do it if ur not comfortable.

WRITING AN ORGASM:

the body shakes, tenses, spasms and generally loses a little bit of control

ur grip turns very intense and Harsh

back arching is a Thing

hands yanking at hair is a Thing

for when a cis-man orgasms... it can happen quite suddenly, but it’ll be a little twitch, and u can FEEL them tense. fast movement is what usually gets them to orgasm Quicker, i’ve found.

for everybody else, i feel like it can be harder to achieve orgasm, but when it happens- your legs get all tense and squeeze the SHIT out of the head between them, and u definitely make some noise. orgasm can just happen, and sometimes with women especially.. it’s kinda easier to fake orgasm bc there’s never truly a Way To Tell physically???? this could be entirely wrong, of course, but there’s SO MUCH discussion and research based on the female orgasm that i feel like i can’t write anything abt it here bc it’s SO different for everyone.

just follow the general rule: ‘you’ll know when it happens’. ‘you’ll know when you know’.

orgasms won’t always happen. it can get CLOSE but not happen, and it’s not always some big disappointing, ‘blue-balls’ event. it happens, or it doesn’t. sometimes u can write amazing head, and the other character won’t cum, and u know what? that’s ok too.

#rph #rpc #im probably forgetting so much stuff #anyways pls dont be mean JKDFJNKFJN #im just a wh*re #with my wh*re experiences and life.#i dont know EVERYTHING ok so if i got smth wrong or worded smth wrong #let me know #guide #smut guide #smut help

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noradarhkpalmer · 4 years

Text

sweet sixteen

Title: sweetsixteen

Rating: PG

Pairing: Nora Darhk/Ray Palmer aka Darhkatom

Warnings: Nothing really other than a couple of saucy comments from Nora about who what she’d rather be doing on her birthday.

Summary/Notes: It's Nora's birthday and despite Ray's best efforts, Nora can tell she's being brought to a surprise party, but the Legends have one last surprise up their sleeve. But so does Nora.

it's nora's birthday y'all! i'm so excited to share this with y'all. Big thanks to beth and noelle for joking around with me about this concept. I'm me so of course I took it seriously and made it a fic. oops.

Day two of the 2019 edition of 25 days of Darhkatom! Feel free to click the through the tag to see last year’s! Basically, like last year, I will be posting all loosely related (unless stated otherwise) fics for 25 days straight!

ao3 link: here

Nora Palmer did not like surprises. No she did not. She wasn’t entirely sure but her incredibly squirrely husband was doing everything in his power to keep things from her. Including contact with her best friends. It was her birthday and somehow that meant she couldn’t talk to her favorite people? It didn’t take a genius to figure out that this probably meant the Legends were planning something. She wasn’t entirely feeling up to the gesture, and who the hell knows what they were planning but Nora knew she just had to wait until she and Ray got aboard the Waverider, after he made a lame excuse that they needed to head there.

When Nora arrived on the bridge all the lights were out. It was impossibly dark and she held onto Ray’s hand. The Legends were her family but that didn’t mean they didn’t sometimes come up with potentially stupid and reckless plans that could endanger her or others, by accident of course (but there was past precedence).

The lights finally came on and every last decoration read Happy Sweet Sixteen, Nora!

Oh and Nora Palmer wanted to be so mad. But she couldn’t. She knew they did this because that’s technically how old she’d be right now and that definitely nearly led her down a spiral of how awful her life was at sixteen but she looks out at the crowd of faces, of her family, and almost bursts into tears.

“SURPRISE!” They all shout at the same time Nora mutters ‘Stupid pregnancy hormones’.

“What?” Ray looks down and asks.

Nora offers him a grin and places a hand to her belly. “Surprise!” She says alone.

“Wait, I missed it,” Ava interjects. “Are you saying surprise and touching your belly…”

“BECAUSE YOU’RE PREGNANT, OH MY GOD!!!” Mona finishes and rushes forth. She had a sash and tiara for Nora to wear anyways and adorns her with it then hugs her friend close. “MY FAVORITE HUMAN IS GROWING A HUMAN!”

Nora can’t help but cry a little. She pulls back and wipes her tears and looks around. “Guess I’m sixteen and pregnant then, huh?” The Legends laugh and everyone takes their turns congratulating Ray and Nora.

The party festivities kick off much like they did last year. Nora reaches for the birthstone necklace Ray got her and plays with it absently as she talks to Zari and Mona about who should host the next book club meeting.

“You guys can’t keep picking my house, that means I have to clean it.” Nora rolls her eyes playfully.

“You have a billionaire husband, you can totally pay someone to clean it,” Zari says as she stuffs a pre-cake appetizer donut in her mouth.

Nora nods and laughs quietly, she feels arms come around her and strategically settle over her lower belly.

“I keep a strict cleaning schedule. Nora’s library and side of the bed are the only things that typically get out of order,” Ray informs from behind her.

“Wow way to throw me under the bus, some baby daddy you are.” Nora elbows him playfully. She feels him nip at her slightly exposed shoulder and she shudders. “Okay baby daddy privileges are restored.”

Zari makes a look of disgust and mutters ‘right in front of my donut’ and Mona gives them a knowing look before dragging the disgusted totem bearer away.

“Is it too early for me to drag you back to our house for the birthday sex I was really really hoping we would be having right now?”

Ray chuckles low in her ear and kisses her earlobe. “Cake first.”

“Mmm then you for dessert. Can’t deny a horny pregnant woman for very long, you know.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. After I’m done crying at the fact that you’re pregnant.”

“I didn’t mean to tell everyone at once. I really did mean to just tell you first. Tonight. There’s a little bear and everything hiding in my catch all chair in our room.”

“I’d be honored to still receive it. Even if it’s your birthday and not mine.”

Nora turns in his arms and kisses him deeply. “Well seeing as you’re the best gift I’ve ever received and you put this baby in me and I’m also assuming you’re the mastermind behind this party, a little bear that tells you you’re going to be a daddy is the least I could do.”

“Are you going to make out or cut your cake, Palmer?” Nora hears Sara ask just as she’s about to lean in for another kiss with Ray.

Nora looks over Ray’s shoulder and cocks an eyebrow. “If I’ve got a choice not only do I pick make out with my husband but I’m taking him home to celebrate our way.”’

“Well if you’re looking for an extra birthday treat in that depart--” Nora shoot John a glare and he stops mid sentence.

“Guess I better cut my cake before there’s a mutiny.”

Ray pecks her cheek and walks over to the cake with her. It’s a stereotypical Sweet Sixteen cake with a wax 1 and 6 on top of the cake, now lit (by Mick) to be blown out by Nora.

“Make a wish, birthday girl.” Ava smiles at her bestie.

Nora looks around at her friends--her family and up at her husband. “I’ve got everything. What more could I need?”

“More books!” Mona suggests.

Nora laughs and concentrates on the candles. “I’m a witch, I should probably be careful about wishes.”

“That’s only if you become a fairy godmother again,” Gary lightly teases and she winks at her friend.

“I suppose that’s true.” Nora takes in a deep breath, closes her eyes, and blows out the candle.

“What did you wish for?” Mona asks.

Nora looks up at her husband. “You’ll see.”

Several Months Later

“How are my two favorite girls?” Ray pokes his head into Tori’s nursery and Nora smiles at him. She looks down at the sleeping bundle in her arms and kisses her wild hair.

“Tori’s perfect. She’s ready for her first night home.”

“Well I’m glad to hear that.” Ray goes to her side and kisses the top of her head. “And what about her mama?”

Nora lowers the baby into her crib and passes a hand down her soft purple onesie. “I’m feeling pretty perfect too. Perfectly content.”

“Yeah?”

Nora nods. “Yeah. This is all I wanted. This is all I’ve ever wanted. I wanna be a good mom, and to her. I wanted a little girl so I could prove to myself that I could be a good mom to a little girl, not like my parents, and I wanted to give her everything I didn’t have. All the love I didn’t have.”

“Nora Anne Palmer, you’ve got love in spades. You already rock at this mom thing. The love and care you put into carrying her and every moment you’ve spent with her since birth. You’ve got this. And when you feel you don’t, you’ve got me. And I’ll always be there to support you and remind you that you do got this.”

Nora tucks herself into her husband’s arms. “You two are the best gifts I’ve ever received.”

“Yeah I guess we are a pretty good sixteenth birthday gift.” Ray jokes.

Nora pokes him in the chest. “Bite your tongue.”

#darhkatom #ray palmer #nora darhk #legends of tomorrow #fanfic #mine #25 days of darhkatom #fluff #so much fluff

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jawnjendes · 5 years

Text

don’t want your hand this time | shawn mendes

chapter 1/?, university au, shawn x goth oc

AN: i know i know i posted a thing yesterday but UUUHHHHH im just tryna get to the saucy parts of this bc SOMEBODY decided to be all hot n sexy in a certain music video ANYWAY this is just an intro chapter of sorts and we are introducing some new characters!! lmk your thoughts thots!

***let me know if u wanna be added/removed from the taglist

masterlist | playlist coming soon

When Annalise Flores has shit to do within a time limit, she forgets about everything else. Her phone goes on silent, she ignores her other obligations, and she makes sure to get whatever is in her focus done. This has proven to be disastrous in the past, like when Annalise just needed to clean the entire dorm before starting any homework assignment was due the next day. Or when she reorganized the filing closet at the dealership before adding up the gas receipts she was ordered to do. You get the idea.

Annalise was very determined to get all of her unopened boxes, and her clothes to fit in her tiny, beat up car so she didn't have to make multiple trips, given how far campus is from Shawn's apartment. He promised he would help her move when he got home, he had that huge Jeep after all, but Annalise was way too antsy. Besides, they already fought about this, and she didn't want to start anything all over again. She didn't want him to feel obligated to help if only one of them was into the idea of her moving out.

After pushing on the car door three times, it finally clicked shut. Annalise successfully managed to stuff all of her clothes and half her boxes into the backseat. The rest of the boxes were in the trunk. The windows were all covered, so maybe she wouldn't be able to see her blind spots, but at least Annalise wouldn't have to make a second trip. She silently thanked the Tetris gods for blessing her with the appropriate skills as she went back up to the apartment.

Shawn's living space didn't look that different with all of Annalise's belongings out. Most of it was all stashed into the "recording" room over the summer, and neither of them spent any time in there. There was more space in the closet now, too. It was no longer just a black abyss, and all of Shawn's belongings were now undisturbed. Annalise debated smuggling out his black Nike hoodie, but given the circumstances it was best to leave everything as it was. The apartment didn't look any different really, but Annalise still felt an ache from her throat down to the bottom of her feet as she removed the spare key from her chain and left it on the glass dining table. This was easier than saying goodbye to him in person.

Campus was nowhere near as quiet and lonely as the apartment. Students were running around like headless chickens, trying to locate buildings, schedules, and friends. She already had a key to her dorm, so she parked near her building and carried her backpack and two boxes up the walkway. Annalise's resting bitch face and the clunk of her boots on the ground gave her less of a struggle to push past other students. Weak and fragile as she was these last couple of months, she's still got it.

The dorm building wasn't too far from the last one she lived in, but it was going to be a bitch getting to her classes. Maybe she should invest in a bike… or she should get her shit together and take the bus.

Annalise's new dorm was on the third floor, and it was furnished. Weird, yes, but she was not going to complain. It was a bit smaller, but not cramped. There was a tiny hallway between the two bedrooms, and one cramped bathroom. She noticed one room already had boxes sitting on the floor, and she couldn't help but get just a little excited. Stella hadn't completely abandoned her. Annalise wasn't even mad about their three month long silence, she was just happy that she would be seeing a familiar face.

She didn't run into Stella at all during the multiple trips she took bringing all her stuff in. Annalise knew she was here, though. Her perfume scent was always left behind in any room she had been in, and Annalise definitely caught the scent in the dorm. The same amount of boxes were still in her room by the time Annalise finished bringing all of her's in. She figured she could have texted Stella, but she kind of wanted to surprise her… even though they both knew about the other.

She checked her phone anyway. The only text she had was from Shawn.

"How come you didn't wait for me?"

Pursing her lips and smudging the signature black lipstick, Annalise cleared the notification and went to sit in the armchair in the living room. She was way too tired to try to reason with him. She certainly couldn’t jump into the "I miss you" crap so quickly either. She didn't want to, but Shawn obviously did when he sent another text. Out of sheer habit, Annalise opened the notification instead of clearing it, and she cursed under her breath.

"You've been gone only a few hours and this place already feels so sad and empty. Why did you leave your key?"

Yeah, she left him on read. She didn't know what else to say to him.

Thankfully, the lock on the door jiggled and in came Stella carrying a large cardboard box. She gasped and her hazel eyes lit up when she saw her dark natured roommate. She quickly squatted down and set the box on the floor before coming at Annalise with open arms.

"Mi esposa hermosa!"

Annalise will never say this out loud, but Stella gives wonderful hugs. They two girls haven't seen each other in over three months, so getting a nice tight hug was something that was really needed. They rocked from side to side, giggling at the motions. It was like nothing had really changed.

"When did I become your wife?" Annalise asked, amused as she leaned back to look at her.

"When we decided to live together for the third year in a row!" Stella replied. “Oh you got a little…” Her thumb rubbed under Annalise’s lip, showing her the black.

“The struggles of being goth,” she joked.

Stella giggled, and then the rambling began. "How are you? I'm so sorry we didn't talk much over the summer. Did you stay with Shawn the whole summer? Oh, is he here?" She bounced on her feet, looking around the dorm.

"Uh yeah, I did stay with him the entire time," she told her. "And no, he's not here. He's working."

Annalise knew he wasn't. He had found her abandoned key, which meant he was home. And he was probably sulking. And he was going to sleep alone...

"But he'll be here later, right?" Stella asked, nudging her arm. "Y'all are gonna christen your room, eh?"

She really had to ask, didn't she? She really had to jokingly ask a question that would change the expression on Annalise's face, thus warning her of the things that had happened. She wasn't sure why she kept an obviously fake smile on her face as she silently stared at her roommate. The silence alone wasn't enough, apparently.

Normally, Stella would dramatically gasp, sit her down, and ask Annalise to spill every detail. Instead, she sighed.

"Fill me in while you help me bring my stuff up."

Classes and club meetings resumed within the next couple of days, so it gave Annalise plenty of excuses to keep her texts to Shawn dismissive and short. She knew he was coming and going from campus for class too, but due to their different majors, he was going to be very far away from her. Not to mention, he didn't know where her new dorm was located, so it wasn't like he could track her down.

Except… Annalise had to retake biology. She knew Shawn was at the science building quite often, and she had hoped her bio lab fell on a day that he was at the fine arts building. But you know, life just happens, and sometimes you see your mans between classes. Sometimes you just see him leaving classroom, towering over the other students because he’s a giant. Maybe you’ll see him with a very short girl at his side, and they’re both laughing at something. Maybe he won’t see you either because he’s balls deep in banter with this random girl.

There was a lump in Annalise’s stomach following that minor event, and it made her anxious and uneasy for the first day of that class. Still, she was determined to stay on board with the separation they both agreed on. It was better that way for now. She didn't know about Shawn, but Annalise fully intended on keeping the distance, suspicious-looking friends be damned.

Anyway, she could find friends of her own too. Gaming club meetings started up again that Friday, and it was something to look forward to. After god knows how long, Annalise attended said meeting after receiving an email from the head of the club, Josh. He and his friend, Paul, ran the club most of the time. They managed to get plenty of people to sign up during the rush earlier in the week but only seven of them actually attended the first meeting. Just like every year.

Both Josh and Paul were scrawny blond boys with "nice guy" complexes. They were polite for the most part, given that they inducted Annalise into the club the moment she signed up. But they also quizzed her on just about every popular, mainstream video game there was once they realized she would actually be showing up to the meetings. It took time, and a bit of Annalise telling them off, but they were civil towards each other now.

"Annalise!" called Chad as the lady herself entered the classroom in the communications building. He was another member, and he had his two frat bros with him, Kyle and Jared, and they both chanted her name in their deep, manly voices.

All different heights, but same amount of insane muscle. For lack of better words, these guys were meatheads with good intentions. Chad was a student with one of the highest GPA on campus, practically competing with Josh. Kyle was the star student in his major, sports medicine. Jared was that guy who beat up bigots as a hobby. All three of them were fully dedicated to their fraternity, Sigma Chi.

Then there was Patrick, who nodded to Annalise as a greeting. She nodded back and took the empty seat next to him in the circle.

The people who think Annalise Flores is a complete hardcore goth have not met Patrick Markowski. This was a guy who was always decked out in leather, ripped jeans, and black eyeliner. He had a proper faux hawk, which is what made people notice him the most. He typically surrounded himself with other goths, unlike Annalise. He was truly dedicated to the lifestyle, while she deviated from even that sometimes. This was the only guy in the club Annalise was actually friends with.

Anyway, all seven of these nerds shared the same appreciation for video games, which brought them all together in a circle, in an empty classroom, in the communications building this evening. However, Annalise's entrance caused the guys to deviate from the main topic.

Josh and Paul had been staring at her with their mouths open the second she entered the room. The Frats were visibly excited and each gave her a high five. Patrick merely stayed quiet and smiled.

"Heard you almost fucking died!" Chad told her. "And you didn't tell a single one of us!"

"I thought you had actually died," Josh spoke up. "Since you never miss a meeting and all."

So that got around. Cool.

“I wasn’t dying,” Annalise said, rolling her eyes. “I just had part of my colon surgically removed.”

“No way…” Jared said in wonder.

“Oh, that’s disgusting,” said Paul with a gag. He brought the collar of his red Pizza Planet shirt over his mouth.

The Frats stared at Annalise in awe, almost impressed by her vague explanation. She really didn’t understand the fascination, given everything that happened during and after the hospital. Of course, they knew nothing about any of that. At the same time, Annalise was annoyed at Paul’s dramatic reaction, so she kept talking.

“It might happen to you too if you don’t take care of yourself and listen to your body,” she told him. “Or worse, you could end up with a bag of your poop attached to your belly.”

Paul gagged again, much louder this time. Then Annalise decided that that was enough and directed the conversation to the club’s main topic: video games.

“So who’s played Team Sonic Racing?”

It was only the first meeting, so the group made a plan to bring their Switches and play next time. The Nice Guys prompted to play a round of Fortnite online later, but Annalise was not up for that game in the slightest. Too mainstream. Too chaotic. She never could get into it.

“Well, we can play without you,” Paul suggested, “not everyone has to join in.”

“Isn’t that a rule, though?” Patrick asked pointedly. “If we’re gonna play something together, we all have to agree on one game. Besides, I don’t play Fortnite either.”

Paul's eyes darted around, trying to look for a counterargument, but he sighed. “Fine. Anyone else got any suggestions?”

“What about a D&D campaign?” Annalise said. “Or some type of board game?”

Josh scoffed. “It’s video game club. Besides, me and Paul already have a campaign with our other friends.”

“‘Course you do,” she mumbled, folding her arms.

“Ooo! I got an idea!” Kyle spoke up, raising his massive hand. “We should hit up Bart. That bar with the art and retro games?”

Annalise perked up. Finally, someone with a brain cell. “I participated in a Smash Bros tournament there. It’s really fun, we should all go one weekend.”

“A bar?” Josh said in distaste.

“Yeah! It’ll be a class field trip or something!” Chad agreed. “It’s awesome, bro! They got a Gamecube and an N64! Sometimes they do karaoke night, but only with songs from different games!”

Then, Kyle looked at Annalise with a smirk. “Bet your boyfriend would perform there, eh?”

Even when she was far away from him, Shawn still had a presence wherever she went. “Heh, maybe…”

Luckily, none of these guys were the type to hover. The subject went back to going to Bart one weekend, and then the group chat was revived to discuss further adventures. Once the meeting was adjourned, Patrick followed me out the door.

“So, Annie. No offense or anything,” he said, walking in step beside her as they walked down the corridor, “but what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“My summer was great, thanks,” Annalise said, too busy glancing at her phone to cringe at that awful nickname. No new messages for once.

“Nah, seriously. You were in the fucking hospital, and I find out through Snapchat?” he asked seriously. “Did you even tell anybody? What the hell happened?”

She didn’t remember posting anything about her hospital stay anywhere on social media. However, the only two people who were there with her were social media freaks. Stella was the type to tweet every single one of her brain farts, and frequently Snap where she was every second. Shawn was less active on his platforms, but he was still quite popular in the Toronto area, so he had a sizeable following. Annalise knew he took a picture of his hand holding hers while she was in the hospital at least once. Maybe it made it to his Instagram story a couple of times.

Sighing, Annalise gave Patrick the gist of her exciting adventure with her large intestine. Some underlying guilt wanted to be felt as she recalled staying and Shawn’s for so long, but she decided to spare those details.

“Looked death in the face, eh?” he said, nodding in what looked like approval. “Badass.”

She chuckled. “Guess I wasn’t ready to be yeeted off this mortal coil.”

“Ugh, you use the word yeet? How much has that guy changed you?” Patrick stuck his tongue out at her, flashing the piercing he had on the muscle.

“Hey, I’m more down with the kids than he is.”

The pair were quiet as they made it out to the courtyard. The night was chilly and cloudy, the only light coming from the lampposts on either side of the walkway. It felt different knowing Annalise was with only a friend rather than her mans, and she tried to ignore the ache in her chest and the urge to talk about him.

“Do you remember what it was like?” Patrick asked after a minute. “Being so close to death?”

“Nope,” she replied simply. “Although, when I was under, I had a really vivid dream that my… uh, Shawn cheated on me.” Way to not talk about him.

“You sure it was a dream?”

They were passing by one of the picnic tables, where Patrick pointed to. There was a group of people standing around the table, and two people sitting on top of it. One of those people was Shawn with his acoustic guitar. He was singing with the girl who was sitting next to him, the same one he was walking with at the science building. It wouldn’t have seemed weird if Patrick hadn’t said what he said. It would have been left alone if Annalise hadn’t thought about that stupid fever dream.

“Come on,” she said to Patrick as she stalked off towards the group.

“I was joking!” he said with a laugh.

Still, Annalise walked with a purpose and he followed her. She clutched the strap of her shoulder bag and kept her chin up as she made herself apart of the tiny audience. It was quite the sight, two nerds decked out in all black and heavy eyeliner amongst a group of normals watching two other normals sing a pop song. No lie, Annalise just wanted to get a look at this girl she had never seen before.

Olive skin. Black, curly hair. Very short next to her guy. Very pretty voice coming out of very pretty lips. She looked at Shawn and he looked back at her as they sang an eerily familiar song. Musically speaking, they seemed good together.

“I’ll leave you with the memory, and the aftertaste…”

The tiny audience clapped. Patrick was nodding in pleasant surprise, probably having never heard Shawn’s songs before. Annalise applauded as well, but she couldn’t help the narrowing of her eyes as she watched Shawn and this girl high five each other.

They were both comfortable with all the attention, it was easy to see. Shawn was beaming in a way that hadn’t been seen in a long time, and then he laid eyes on Annalise. He still had that smile on his face, even though it faltered a little bit. She kept her face neutral and quirked her eyebrows at him as a silent greeting.

“Should I leave you guys alone?” asked Patrick as he and Annalise watched Shawn get down from the table top.

“No,” she replied simply.

She almost regretted having him stay. He had to witness Shawn and Annalise attempt to figure out how to greet each other. A side hug would have been awkward for reasons not only having to do with the guitar strapped to his shoulder. She definitely couldn’t kiss him, because that would have started something she had been trying to distance herself from. They finally settled for a mildly uncomfortable handshake, and Shawn kept holding her hand as he spoke.

It had been almost a week since Ann moved out, and she only sent him one text in that time span. It was the black heart emoji. Better than nothing, but not better than seeing her in person.

“You haven’t answered my texts,” Shawn told her. If she was going to decide when she'll give him attention, then he wasn't going to beat around the bush when he saw her.

“I’ve been busy,” Ann replied, feebly attempting to shake her hand away.

Shawn nodded, but he wasn't thoroughly convinced. Between work and school, Ann was a hermit. Or so he thought, given that she now had this new goth dude at her side. “So, who’s your friend?”

“Who’s yours?” she quickly said back.

“I’m Patrick!” said Patrick, holding out his hand. “Annie and I go way back!”

Shawn let go of her hand to shake his. “Nice to meet you, brother. Wait… Annie?” He chuckled.

Her cheeks heated up, and she decided to move her eyes somewhere else, specifically on Shawn’s unnamed singing partner. She was chatting with some of the other people still around the table. Annalise noticed she talked with her hands a lot.

“She lets me call her that even though she hates it,” Patrick said, snapping her back into the moment. “Right, Annie?”

“Do not,” she warned. Then she looked at Shawn. “So who’s the chick you’re singing with?”

Shawn took in an almost reluctant deep breath as he turned and called the girl over. If there was anything he had yet to discover, it had to be if his girl was the jealous type.

Annalise's dark brown eyes narrowed once again while he wasn’t looking. Call it anxiety or paranoia, but she was oddly suspicious. Patrick caught the glare though, and he nudged her arm to snap her out of it.

“Ann, Patrick, this is Alessia,” Shawn said when the very short girl joined them. “She’s a first year. Alessia, this is my…” He elongated the vowel. “Annalise. And her friend Patrick.”

Okay, so… a sinking feeling in the tummy. That’s what that felt like. Couldn’t be mad, though. Annalise wasn’t so quick to use the boyfriend word these days.

“You’re Annalise!” Alessia said in pleasant surprise. She did not hesitate to hug her, arms going around her shoulders and practically pulling her down to her level. “It’s so nice to meet you! I’ve heard so much about you!”

Honestly, Annalise was just glad she didn’t call her the goth girlfriend. Or the goth anything, for that matter. She didn’t hug Patrick, though, but he didn’t seem to mind.

“So, how did you two meet?” Annalise prompted. So maybe she was a little more than curious to know how and when Shawn found the time to get another girl at his side.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Shawn replied a little too quickly.

His eyes bored into hers, throwing them into a staredown. He broke through the fake, polite smile Ann had on. Of course he broke it. He was the only one who could. However, Shawn couldn't read the expression she had on. He couldn't tell if she was upset or not, happy or not… He couldn't tell if she wanted to change her mind about this separation or not… Ten months together and Ann was still a mystery.

“Uh, Shawn and I have like, every class together,” Alessia said slowly, looking between the couple, noticing the sudden change in atmosphere. She scratched the back of her head.

“Annie and I have been in the same club for two years,” Patrick added in the same tone. He too noticed the tension.

“Oh, which club? There’s some I’ve been checking out…”

Those two kept up the conversation. Shawn’s gaze on Annalise made her throat close up. He wasn’t smiling or feigning politeness anymore. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were hard and glossed over. Inexplicable guilt began to form in her chest yet again. She knew he didn’t understand.

_______

taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @ilsolee @mendesromano @1-800-khalid-mendussy @kitykatnumber @strangerliaa @iloveshawnieboi @poppyshawn @shawnsunflower @shawnvvmendes @yourdelightfullyleft @shawmndes @havethetimeeofyourlifee @calyumthomas

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes smut #shawn x goth gf #this is the Start of some stupid ass fuckery #aka the Sequel #shoutout to the shawns hoes gc for letting me tag some of yall #and yes this fic will be in 3rd pov #we haven't heard enough of Shawn's thots n feelios lu #and i guess how u know its in shawns pov is when Ann is used instead of annalise #if u read the tags i appreciate u

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