#i think its just ALL OF THE GROUP PROJECTS IM DOING
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frat! rafe praying on the shy sorority girl because he just loves to fluster her. Telling her to sit on his lap and she just nods because she doesn’t want to upset the president of the most important frat
i luv this concept especially with reader who is super softly spoken like cailee spaenys priscila !! (im projecting bc that’s how i talk <3)
୨♡୧ 🎀 ᰔ 🎀 ໒ྀི꒰ ◞ ◟ ꒱ྀིა
standing up on the sidelines when everyone’s sat around the couch drinking and having fun, your hands clutched at your front playing with your skirt because you don’t know what to do with them. rafe wants to talk to you, he thinks you’re so sweet — but can barely hear you over the party.
“look, hey— come sit down. can’t hear you.” he lays the charm on, leaning back in his seat with a honey-thick smile. your breath hitches as you look around the group.
“there isnt any space for me. its okay.” you shake your head and his smile only grows.
“yeah, which is why i’m saying you can sit right here.” he pats his leg. you blink for just one second and he holds up his hands in defence. “i’ll behave, i swear.” he grins, and he must be good at what he does, good at speaking to girls because you trust him oddly, though everything in you tells you he’s not being completely truthful.
you nod anyway, as you’d hate to be so rude to the president of the frat — the frat everyone spoke about, cared about, the one that hosted all the events. you perch on his leg shyly and he gets comfortable, wrapping an arm around your waist.
“see thats better, i can actually hear you now. can get to know you better like this, right?”
୨♡୧ 🎀 ᰔ 🎀 ໒ྀི꒰ ◞ ◟ ꒱ྀིა
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also one real post about this and like, plenty of ink has been spilt on how disconnected watcher entertainment seems to be from its fans but i think the missing piece here is how disconnected watcher is from the rest of youtube. when the catastrophe hit i went to all my terminally online friends, the same way i did after the hbomberguy james somerton video, or after the ned fulmer fiasco, or the creepshowart scandal etc, or every time jenny nicholson dropped a new evermore video, including the ones behind the $2 patreon paywall we all gladly pay for, and for the first time...
no one knew who i was talking about.
these are not insulated people. these are people i can trust to have at least name recognition of almost any youtuber i mention. they know downtherabbithole and strangeaeons and cjthex and kappakaiju and miniminuteman773 and kazrowe and somemorenews etc etc etc
so when i put in the group chat, with no context, 'he wasnt even on cribs' or 'we have no cats kathleen' or 'only humble pagan commune schemes' or whatever, i usually do so with great trust that at least half the group will know what im on about.
this time, crickets.
i backpedaled a little and pulled up the 'ive connected them' meme and the fuzzy blue professor, and i got nothing at all. the only recognition i got was when someone belatedly realized that he had seen the goatman video when it dropped (although he had no idea that they had their own company now), and another person remembered that they had offered to collab with danny gonzalez, a youtuber with twice the subscribers
because she had checked back to see if danny went ghost hunting again, and lost interest because he hadnt.
i also brought it up in my dedicated buzzfeed unsolved group chat but ummmmm i am the only one in that group still watching ever since the shift to watcher oops
the only splash they had made in my again, TERMINALLY ONLINE friend group that watches hours and hours of youtube a day was a buzzfeed video seven years ago, and when they had failed to collab with someone more famous than them. i found myself in the unusual position of having to explain the situation to a bunch of dirty internet gremlins, all of whom heard the whole story and said 'why would they do that'
not 'why would they do that to their fans' but 'why would they do that as youtubers'
even aside from the moneygrubbing, we watcher stans were confused about why they tried to offer us a service we didn't need or want, and i think it obscured the confusion on why they thought it was a good idea at all, when so many other models were available to them. why werent they using their patreon like other youtubers? why weren't they collaborating with other youtubers? why weren't they putting out regular, lower quality content like other youtubers? if they wanted higher quality content, why weren't they partnering with nebula, like lindsay ellis, or netflix, like bo burnham. why didn't they run their ideas past someone like the green brothers, who have jumpstarted scishow and many other similar projects successfully, and are famously good to work with/consult with? why would they try to pull a roosterteeth? don't they know what happened?
and i think the answer is no. i think they just don't know those things. and they didnt bother to check, because they think all those things are beneath them. because they think corporate content is the only worthwhile kind there is.
why else would they think they have to have an office building, keep dozens of people on staff, buy expensive cameras, and build a streaming platform? why do they only collaborate with actors and singers who have corporate entertainment approval? why are they reinventing the wheel on buzzfeed when thousands of youtubers build perfectly stable careers with a mic and a camera, and sometimes hire an editor?
i guess my takeaway from this is that, at least they didnt break my heart as a fan entirely because they fundamentally misunderstood me. they did it, at least in part, because they do not understand how youtube works, or what part they play in it.
they dont understand how people use youtube. it is not a cinematic event worthy of the big tv, it is line goes up playing in the background for the 400th time as i wash my face and put my laundry away.
that is why they spent months and months planning this without ever noticing it was a bad idea, while millions of youtube viewers knew instantly. thats why they didn't start with a more moderate solution, why they never used their patreon properly, why they cared so much about the production value, why they thought a youtube audience, any audience at all, would jump at the chance to leave youtube.
bc youtube as a creator sucks, and we all know that, but youtube as a viewer is extremely comfortable. all i ask of youtube is to be mildly interesting in the background while i do other stuff. it is filler. some of the filler is extremely good, yes, but there is no room or reason in my life to give more of my money and attention to my filler, let alone to get a bigger screen for it.
and honestly, this is why i and others stayed on with the ghoul boys even though their quality dropped. because it's filler. im not even looking at the screen you apparently spent 100k on. im flipping my eggs. im washing my hair. im waiting for the bus with my headphones in and my phone in my pocket. thank you for being my background music. in return i will sit through your ads and push your view counter up by one. i may even hit the like button by accident bc my phone is in my pocket.
this is not to say i dont enjoy my filler. i would absolutely die without it. but it is not and never will be exchanged for the instances when i make popcorn in The Big Bowl and turn on a Real Movie on the Big Screen (my old laptop that is 15 whole inches) with my phone turned over so nothing can distract me.
my filler can't be my movie, and vice versa. nor should it be. but watcher doesnt understand that, apparently. they think youtube is cruelly preventing them from being netflix, and they think we want netflix, and they don't understand that, even with that half-assed apology that they didn't explain their dream correctly and they are jsut so destitute they had to take extreme measures after they went to europe 6 too many times...
there is a fundamental misunderstanding about how people use youtube , both as creators and as consumers. they didn't just misunderstand their fanbase. they continue to misunderstand the entire ecosystem. idk guys. maybe you should have learned something from those youtubers that you apparently think you are too good for.
and as for me, welp. i've booted people from my filler line-up for less. and there are soooooooooooooo many other fish in the sea, and they are not asking me to pay them 27 corporation salaries from my own pocket. they are asking for me to bump their view counter up by one.
goodbye boys. i really hope you find a way to fulfill yourselves artistically or whatever. but you have burned this particular bridge, like. forever. and i don't think i'm the only one who feels that way.
and not because i dont support people getting a living wage, you guilt-tripping vultures, or because i dont believe in following dreams and wishing on stars and whatnot.
but because i prefer to consume content from people who know what they're doing, and i simply no longer trust that includes you.
#watcher entertainment#steven lim#shane madej#ryan bergara#this is truly all i will say#just amazing how the average youtube viewer immediately identified all the problems with the new plan#and none of the executive big boys involved did
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just a couple of dirty bean boys!
#jacksepticeye#just like art#this was SO CLOSE to never being finished#art machine (me) broke halfway through but we did it#uni is............. going#even though im only doing 2 subjects im losing it man#i think its just ALL OF THE GROUP PROJECTS IM DOING#like my groups are fine theyre all sweet and nice but i just.#just let me do it by myself let me take 100% control without guilt let me only depend on myself doing it#im such a damn follower with group projects please itd be quicker if it was just me making my own shots instead of a second party coming in#and asking for my opinion when my opinion is always ''do whatever you want :)'' because i either dont mind OR i dont have the social energy#to say otherwise like theyd be fine with it but i just cant do it man i got anxiety of the social kind i cant keep going man i cant#i dont like feeling like im letting down other people or that theyre depending on me im bad under pressure#JUST LET ME DO IT ALONE AND ONLY DISAPPOINT MYSELF BRO CMON#the group projects are wrapping up soon so i cant complain but im screaming#besides that ive been good thanks for asking!
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I want a version of drink with me where the barricade boys realize grantaire is drunk and instead of joking and/or reprimanding him for it on his verse they gently take the bottle away from him and hold his face and are there for him bc a lot of them realize that their time on earth is ticking down and so what good is it to fight with one another when they could just as easily love. what tenderness is there that is not more simply conveyed through the very sentence "drink with me"?
#bc like#getting drunk is#i mean its something that#how do i explain#if a group of friends as large as the barricade boys all unanimously agree to drink together i think the only thing that points to is their#comforr with one another and the trust they instill within each other to take care of each other#and i think that sentiment would extend to grantaire#so they would take the bottle from him and comfort him#maybe im just self projecting tho 👀👀👀😤#les miserables headcanons#les mis#les miserables#grantaire headcanon#grantaire
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...
#my dads back in ohio again so im back on my own. i still feel terrible but at least i have a plan#i have 2 weeks of this semester left. so i have to not fail my genomics exam and work on a group project plus grade a bunch#shouldnt be too hard but everything makes me so tired rn and i just feel this barrier between myself and everything else#even when my dad was here. i just dont kno how to feel happy. just varied levels of stress#but after the semester is over ill have to find a job for the summer. which super stresses me out bc i havent really had a real job outside#academia and im worried about how stressful ill find it bc im sure its gonna suck but at least i wont have to work on my project#i just think if i had a normal job that doesnt dominate every aspect of my life id feel a little less terrible. or at least i wouldnt send#myself spiralling so much. if i stay here i might not survive it#but what if ill just make myself miserable wherever i am? i dunno. but im gonna try to find a non academic job this summer with the epa or#maybe the usgs. i mean ive gota a bachelor's and a masters in environmental topics. that's gotta count for something#just get a government job. pray for a not terrible set of coworkers. and build something from there#it just sucks bc i feel like everythings falling apart and like i kno if i gave it my all i could pull thru and get my phd but im just so#tired of struggling against something everyone else can do. i just cant read at a level appropriate for what im doing#ugh. i dont wanna study for genomics. i just wanna sleep. i just wish i wasn't in this position#and now i a baby about it. i mean my sisters r in similar positions bc the youngest is currently looking for a teaching job. and my middle#sister is looking to move to new york city in the next 6 months and she'd be quitting her job for that. so we're all sorta in flux#i just wanna not be flailing. not watch my hopes and dreams collapse. be excited about anything. im just sad bc i have to make hard choices#even if i know theyre the right ones to make if i want to continue to exist. sometimes u cant have the things u wany.#and that sucks and i hate it. theme of the year: sometimes life sucks and theres nothing u can do abt it#unrelated
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Love to go back to my desk once I've woken up and see whatever weird thing I was working on at like 5 am. This one I think is genuinely interesting but also would look so deranged to anyone else 😭 I was writing a color coded guide to how I group drivers in my head with examples with different grids(i.e. how the demographics change) and now I want to write one for all of the 2000-now grids. Completely normal behavior what are you talking about
#let me know if anyone wants to see it :D i like to do these little projects for myself bcs its fun to be meticulous#but as i said i do think its really interesting what the demographic of the grid is#(how i group them is basically about debut year which comes with certain impressions on my part)#but i say it looks deranged bcs one time i showed my dad my f1 guide book#(i have a notebook where i wrote down guides of all the grids like with teams/drivers/team changes/etc)#(and also write down all of the race wknd results from this season)#and hes like '...oooookayyyyyyy 😶'#ITS FUN FOR ME OKAY#im just fond of 'record keeping' ig and i really think the older grids are interesting#id love to do the 90s but the further back you go the more confusing it gets tbh#like only a handful of drivers ik from then and also more drivers#i actually have written grid guides twice....sry its rly fun actually 😭#but bcs i switched notebooks and i wanted to make a better one#but it was so interesting bcs i made the first one when i was getting into f1 and then the 2nd one was like after i had watched older races#so the first time i only knew a couple drivers but then 2nd time i recognized practically every name#lmao this started bcs i had to write a 2023 guide to myself so i could memorize all the teams and drivers#and i remember really not knowing like any of them but now i think i could do back until 2018 from memory#before that gets a bit hsrd just because there's a lot of drivers that just come and go super quickly and leave not much impression imo#okay anyways now i must embark on my deranged organizational adventure#catie.rambling.txt
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u motherfuckers give normal more credit than he is due
#dungeons and daddies#i LOVE him. dont get me wrong i love him and of the teens i relate to him the most#thats why i know that all these insightful oh normal is the only one w empathy and the other teens suck and are mean to him posts#are so. no thats not it hes a selfish little kid who wants validation#and thats ok!!!! bc hes a kid and thats what hes meant to be doing!!!! but like. they r all just kids.#they r all handling the situation correctly w the tools theybe been given#like sure normal wants to solve things w love but he wld commit atrocities at the drop of the hat if thats what gives him the validation#that he wants#we KNOW this will has SAID this and hes also shown us that#and there isnt anything wrong w that its ok!!!!!!#i know im yelling at no one but like#hes a shithead high schooler its fine. hes not the Only One Who Shows Kindness in the group#first of all ur over looking taylor my boy taylor#anyways idk. im not saying hes not tragic. hes so tragic. hes just also not his grandpa and i think thats being projected on him too much ig
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back in my pissy at some people in my friend group a little bit era!!! ✨✨
i am just gonna, not be online and social until new years i think. (might be online a little. Just want to get away from everything though. Still will be active and spreading info on twt so maybe /maybe/ it’ll get thru some of their heads.)
just, dont want to talk to some of em again. In my evil era. All I see is the worst in people era. Tired era. 🙄 In my wish I was ignorant again but i cant even wish that because of everything era.
#ker talks#broskies is 0230 like#i just wanna sleep#and get thru xmas and then get on a bus and go to my dads and disconnect from my stupid life in this city#more and more it seems appealing to restart my life in another city#and just leave all my friends behind#theres like. 1 i want to keep.#and they wanna move out anyways so LMAO#it sort of sucks the one person who i actually think would be healthy to keep in my life is just about to graduate hs.#I would fucking love to keep my friends in uni but y’all suck.#>://// need to get new friends. how does one do that idk im not very socialblr#literatly my entire friend group rn i made friends with thru my bestie#who im sort of :/ at#but feel a strong sense of loyalty towards to the point i think its detrimental to me#and i have no idea how to make friends outside of mutual friends#id really like a responisble friend group who was out creating thing and i could help with creative projects#really thinking im being held down.#God I just want to sleep man#like just i wsnt to go to my dads rn#i need to talk to him bout all this or like reset while im there
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Currently writing swap AU where Kim is just himself on hard mode. Like he wakes up in a clean, normal room, puts on the same outfit as always and doesn't tell anyone he's forgotten everything until Harry wheedles it out of him by badgering him for One Singe Secret (he cant remember any).
He then goes outside and points a gun at a civilian over a perceived threat.
#also he has a preexisting speed problem but because of the way he has a speed problem#(keeps a set number of pills in a little days of the week pill caddy with his ptsd medication)#he assumes they're like antidepressants or something#and just. keeps taking them? and it doesn't come up till after the tribunal?#also all the political alignments are variations on him going “no... that's too extreme... give me something reasonable”#and then going to a Fantasy Labour Party debate on how to reach across the isle to revacholean nationalists#or meeting with a group of small business owners to share finance tips and deductible loopholes. all of it feels hollow.#He also doesn't put on glasses for the first six to eight in-game hours#until Garte (who is cool with him because he pays his bills on time and hasn't caused a fuss) finally cracks and asks where they went#anyway its not going anywhere but im having fun#(pushes his career slider backwards)(raises the unfair treatment bar)#(tweaks the dials on his workaholic and repression meters to “worse”)(drives “need for control” display into the red)#(flips harry switch from “most fucked up man alive” to “somewhat better but still not doing well by any stretch of the imagination”)#ive done it ive made a version of this that I would enjoy#one of his thought projects is trying to write a facts and logic debunking of the insulindian phasmid#the solution is “it isn't real because its silly. im going to stop thinking about this now because I am solving a murder.”#+physique: no longer expending energy on debating dream logic#-morale: couldn't come up with a comprehensive refutation for giant stick bugs#harry hasn't gone full Tequila Sunset drives-my-car-into-the-sea but he has gotten pissed and told everyone to fuck off for three days
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I hate group projects so goddamn much but I especially hate mandatory UNI group projects where you have to RECORD VIDEO in a SCIENTIFIC THEORY CLASS & there's no class group or anything u just Have to have decided partners & told her BY THE NEXT DAY like... I don't fucking know anyone here!!!!!! What the fuck!!!!!
#i hate it here so bad ONE normal class please fuck just ONE normal class#liberal schools are the DEVIL#im so frustrated i know like 3-5ish people in there and theyre all already grouped#so like. What the fuck do i do#if youre making mandatory projects just decide the groups man its much less stress#i have that class again tomorrow and im already in near tears even thinking about it#started my prozac again and ive been feeling WORSE but ill stick it out for a week and see . but day 2 jitters real#personal
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[head person] at [group i work with] is "quite happy" im taking on more of a leadership role ☺️☺️
#i dont talk about my job in specifics here but friends are welcome to enquire or guess what im talking about dnfkfmd#im just. like eeee ppl think im good at things#absolutely wild growing up and getting more comfortable in and better at leadership things. much like public speaking its amazing how doing#things a lot of times makes you better at them ALSKDKDKDK#but like also HAH FUCKING HAH at all my classmates in undergrad who never let me do important/difficult things in group projects.#guess who's [redacted] now jokers!#grad school bloggin#adjacent i feel like i should have some non complainey things in there
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so bored of this project noone is getting along and we all wnat to go home so its honestly very rude that time is going real slow - so inconsiderate
#i want to draw my silly little guys all my life idc about this shiit#personal#free me someone just come in a car and pick me up and we can flee to the beach and stay there until we are buried by the sand#girls im so booredd and nervous for the presentation aajaaaaa#i literally have nothing to do so im just writing here to look busy#everyone is on their phone in dead silence#yay??#honestly props to my uni for making me think this project was worth doing - it wasnt (at least with my team)#i kinda planned the entire thing and its was lame and noone in my group had enough gall to be 'hey we should do something better' because -#we are all spineless but at the same time extremely passive aggressive to one another#look at least im gonna get a sub (ik such class) today as a reward for not snapping#anyways gtg because i have nothing else to say smilleeeeee
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have been getting into tft lately
#okay story time. one of my classes is a class with second and third year students in my major and we do a semester long project w a sponsor#and we are grouped with usually around half and half second and third year students#and we get freshman next sem which means i become a mentor. which is besides the point. my friends think this will be funny though#so one of the people in my group is like oh cal do u know tft and im like uhh yeah but its been a while since i played#and she showed me some stuff and im getting back into it. im not good at all#but its fun i just move stuff around and have fun#caltxt
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Summary of my week (it's Tuesday)
#personal#okay technically its wednesday but i dont think it counts just yet#anyways#how have yous been?#uni has been kicking my ass and i have been so fuckin tired as of late#just today i had a class from 4 to 6pm and dinner in the dorms starts at 5:15pm#we got back like just before they closed up#but i was so tired that i just. fell asleep and woke up at like 9#tmrw i have to wake up at 8 for a meeting for my group project in drama#and i do not want to#honestly#the funniest thing abt this meme is that like. all of this weird drama has just unfolded tonight#i just happened to be in earshot and now im somehow??? involved??? and also the catalyst??? of this shit???#im not saying anything#but just know#at one point there was a group therapy session#i wouldnt say im a gossip#but if ur interested in knowing...my dms r open 👀#but until then#goodnight yall#if u see me reblogging stuff after this no u dont ❤️
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hi im not sure if someone already complained about this with you but i find that the in-house photographers that kpop companies have take really boring photos? No interesting compositions, dynamic posing, etc Just a smirk here or there and a dead-eyed stare straight into the camera. The kpop idols themselves may be styled nicely but then the photo itself is just boring. I may be really picky but as a potential customer, it doesnt make me interested in buying the album, only if I really like the songs then I would buy the album solely for the CD lol What spurred this on was ateez' teaser pics lol, it all looks the same to me compared to their previous teasers. Probably cuz its the same in-house photographer. I really like when companies are able to work editorial photographers like cho giseok, it really elevates their concept. Even sm does interesting things with nct dream like their glitch mode teaser photos. Sorry I just had to get this off my chest 🥲
oh yea i 100% agree with you, a lot of the in house photographers for companies are not creative at all. and i do agree whoever the kq photographer is i would like them to shoot literally anything other than a straight on evenly lit portrait. please. i've found it's about half and half that the concept photographers are good, but there are some that are more consistant than others. woodz always has a great photographer, so does sunmi. sm usually has good photographers and has been on a good spate lately: the ones for glitch mode were great, as have been all of the aespa concept photos and i LOVED the once for sticker. the last couple p1harmony sets have been really interesting also? hyoyeon's ones for deep were fun, and hyuna actually shot the ones for stupid cool, which i think is cute af and also they look good. also the obvious mention, the siren:dawn sun photos, because literally how do you get better than that. getting a good concept photoshoot all depends on how well the creative director has integrated all their ideas and maintained a consistant vision, plus the skill of the photographer, so there are a couple places where things can fall through if everyone isn't vigilant.
#ateez has horrible magazine shoots though. like every time i see a new ateez magazine shoot im like who ARE those ppl#they always get edited to hell and back and are unrecognizable out the other side its so annoying#so yes i would like them to do teaser photos that are literally anything different im also like. but not like their other shoots pls thx#kpop questions#text#answers#all the good concept photos make it really obvious when the lackluster ones are lackluster#has cho giseok actually done a kpop album shoot? i thought he only did magazine or project spreads?#my memory is garbage#sm i think overall has had the most good shoots but also they had min hee jin so.#i was just talking with someone abt how there's one person on the suju creative team right now that's doing really good concept photos#and its making me angry bc i wish they would get poached by literally any other group
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well after a week packed full of assignments, practicals, errands, and class, I don't know why I'm surprised I'm so tired. but since laying my the bed all day would bore me I'm inventing reasons to go out. the reason is always food because at this time in my academic life, the idea of trying to plan anything more ambitious would reduce me to tears. I'm so very ready to be done with all of this and I wish I had news about the job I applied for but emailing them again makes me sick to my stomach. I kind of want to go home but I can't. also I'm running out of money
in other words
#pros: I got a lot done! I opened a new bank account and did a ton of schoolwork#cons: i feel like death itself#and now I feel like downloading something like doordash but ugh its so expensive#I DO have a virtual baby shower to go to. too tired t be excited about that to#I would do hw but the website is down and the group project hasn't been emailed to me yet#I just want to enjoy life. and yet here we are#actually when I was younger I didn't even think being happy and enjoying life was that important#I was just like I gotta work#thats all we do all our lives. it sucked. so now I don't really know how to have fun as an adult#but once I graduate im joining a dance class or something#I have so many assignments piling up rn 😭 this semester is not easier than the earlier ones#cor.txt
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