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worldwhampion · 6 months

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(spoilers of u haven't done the newest quest line)

(also sorry I haven't sent an ask in so long, I haven't played nms for a bit lol)

I'm really loving all the lore we got! those big Atlantis probe things from the expedition still show up in space, one pretty much outright stated that the probes are actually ancient escape pods from the destruction of korvax prime. And the korvax were in there for so long atlantideum began to grow out of their bodies, creating a structure similar to the ones you mine sentience echoes from!

Also unrelated theory, but I think if the first spawn won they might've destroyed the universe accidentally. They think the universe is not a simulation and is knowable. This combined with their greed and probable lack of environmental concern, means they probably would grab any gravitino balls they can, and with no sentinels around to drive them off and mend the wound in spacetime, the damage would pile up and the simulation would break.

HIII took me long enough to answer your ask, I apologize. I’m free now so let’s get to it!

It’s going to take a while for me to do the autophage quest myself since i actually haven’t finished the artemis path yet (but at this point i do know already it inside out). However i did watch playthroughs and i also made a decent transcript of the quest. And YOU BET i have some thoughts about this. Especially on atlantideum.

i. ATLANTIDEUM

(from world of glass lore archive server)

When you reveal atlantideum to the atlas something very interesting happens. From this piece of lore i’m pretty sure atlantideum is corrupted data- OF THE ABYSS. And the atlas does not react well to this data at all.

ATLANTIDeum. Are you seeing this. It’s literally like parts of the abyss. Call it abyss dust.

I think atlantideum are crystals which contain her (corrupted) data, or in any case you bet it’s related to wog. They’re probably coming straight from the world of glass, seeping into the simulations. These crystals are scattered all over the place, and lore-wise they’re probably multiplying on a pretty concerning rate at the moment. I think this is how the abyss is returning, by hauling her data back into the world. The world of glass is assimilating with the simulations if you will! She’s only able to do this because the atlas is literally falling apart as she proceeds with her girlboss plan. The atlas is weakening while she is growing stronger (she’s probably weakening the atlas too in the proces). They’re probably fighting for control over the systems, and she is definitely going for absolute power. You’re gonna need that if you want to save everything dying along with the computer that runs reality.

The atlas can’t do anything about the crystals (or data), because it does not have access to this data and cannot delete it from its systems. The abyss seems to be an entity acting separately from the system or the atlas, so you can say she is interfering with the simulations like a foreign entity. She is a subroutine of the atlas though, which has now gone rogue (see iii. FIRST SPAWN ACCIDENTAL UNIVERSE DESTRUCTION).

Thorn summed this up ON POINT. Being atlas… is suffering.

While the atlantideum hit made the atlas have an asthmatic attack, someone else smoked it up like nipnip. Nada took the abyss blunt very well.

The atlantideum gave nada data of the abyss, to me this is like injecting memories into your mind. Now we know that nada canonically likes smoking atlantideum! While the atlas is pro war on drugs. The traveller can become nada’s abyss blunt dealer.

ii. KORVAX ESCAPE POD

“And the korvax were in there for so long atlantideum began to grow out of their bodies, creating a structure similar to the ones you mine sentience echoes from!”

Sadly i don’t have that particular dialogue you mentioned about the korvax escape pod so i might miss a few details. I want to read it so if anyone finds it SEND IT TO ME STAT i need my lore like how nada needs their blunt.

The atlantideum item description reads:

Atlantideum can take over hosts, both mechanical and biological. I see this as the hosts coming under influence or under control of the abyss, probably depending on the amount of crystals they have stuck in their skin.

Finally we have a bit of clarification for the following lines:

(from the abandoned building logs)

I believe these beings to be the family glass. Sadly they never went beyond name dropping them but that doesn’t stop me from having theories. They are beings that live on in the world of glass who have probably lived in the simulations at first (before they died).

We have know seen the effects of glass/atlantideum on both mechanical and biological beings. For mechanical beings (like nada and the atlas) simply coming into close contact with the crystals is already enough to have an effect, while for biological beings they have to literally shove the shards into their flesh. Just like piercings. Except these piercings drain your life and also may or may not keep hurting forever. However in the end it’s all worth it for the eldritch knowledge.

It’s not said whether these crystals are really atlantideum (crystals containing data of the abyss specifically?), but this is probably what happens when you put it under your skin while also being biological. you get a cool piercing, AND you also become a vessel for intelligences unlike us (void milves).

The abyss can exert influence/control through not only nanites (in the water), but through atlantideum too? Well it is a literal substance named after her. The korvax in the escape pod definitely came under her influence too and became divergent by extension. She is pretty much the divergence personified. As for how the atlantideum got there, i’m thinking the abyss messed a little with the nanites in their body? I mean she is a master nanite bender, arguably the best one the simulations have ever seen. Not everyone can infest half the water in the known multiverse with nanites every day like she does casually.

The abyss does a lot of polluting, in water it’s nanites, on land it’s atlantideum crystals. She really just decided that environmental pollution is the best way to spread her presence everywhere. And you cannot deny that she is completely right since it’s working that well. This is like spreading microplastics which have the power to change reality itself.

In game you can refine atlantideum into nanites, by first refining it into pugneum and then to nanites. So nanites and atlantideum are pretty closely related.

iii. FIRST SPAWN ACCIDENTAL UNIVERSE DESTRUCTION

“Also unrelated theory, but I think if the first spawn won they might've destroyed the universe accidentally. They think the universe is not a simulation and is knowable. This combined with their greed and probable lack of environmental concern, means they probably would grab any gravitino balls they can, and with no sentinels around to drive them off and mend the wound in spacetime, the damage would pile up and the simulation would break.”

Oh man i have something for you.

(boundary failure logs)

The first spawn exploited a whole subroutine (ie the convergence) for their personal interests- on a multiversal scale. Since a subroutine is like a working part of the atlas itself, the exploitation might’ve done some damage to the system in terms of software (?) i mean can you still carry out whatever tasks you should be doing properly if you were subjected to gruesome slavery across the multiverse. you’d need godly multitasking skills for this. Not sure to what extent it really affected the system, but it would have done at least something.

Telamon did say that the entire enslavement of the korvax is a reflection of the atlas breaking down. The convergence, being modeled after earlier forms of the atlas, is kind of the atlas personified in the simulations. Now when you’re enslaved, you do break down mentally and physically. The korvax suffered because the atlas itself was suffering. And the first spawn might’ve been a reflection of the harm the atlas was facing. In the end the first spawn was genetically engineered into the gek, not completely wiped out but “mitigated” using their nanites. this could apply to the harm too, it’ll never be removed, only lessened. I find it very interesting how the korvax polluting the gek spawning pools with nanites is very much parallel with the abyss infesting the water with nanites as well. Both do this to get out of hard times, by trying to lessen the harm but never able to remove it completely. This does seems to be what the atlas is doing to try saving itself. The repeated universe resets are also a reflection in the simulations except it is more meta.

Now onto the balls!

If the first spawn did start grabbing gravitino balls left and right without a single care unchecked, then that means the atlas is. royally fucked. I’d say then it’s literally not able to keep running simulations anymore. Like they would end prematurely because it’d crash halfway through, as reflected by the reality weakening from unrestrained gravitino ball harvesting once they get to that part in history. whatever horrors the atlas is facing at the moment isn’t enough for this to happen. Recovering from brutal enslavement does sound better than the whole simulation straight up crashing down. You could always have it worse! Sparkle on!

#i have not been engaging with nms for a while and now once the fall break had just hit. the steam engine has started running hot again #while writing this i swear i just came up with two other theories barely related to the subject #1. every time you go through portals you die temporarily as you pass through wog. because when you're in wog that means you're dead!#it's the literal hell and heaven of nms #artemis however died permanently since they did not get out at the other side. their pathway collapsed and left them stranded.#2. in wog you can live on in death. i think this is the goal of the abyss by trying to bring wog into the simulations #or the other way around #(IF THAT'S WHAT'S ACTUALLY GOING ONNNNN. i believe in it though :33333)#also wog stands for world of glass just in case #like there's this line that says we will not die a second time which is probably referencing atlas' death that spells doom for everyone #well guess what #when you are in wog you are dead. and you cannot die again. not for a second time #for the longest time this line was completely beyond me man i think i have figured this out #it is pretty poetic. you can live on in death #a very hard pill for null to swallow. being able to accept this would've made a big difference in their life #also the atlas canonically has a sister now. telamon too #one enforced obligatory multiversal babysitting million on another #now the sister wishes to take over all of you and your simulations #by taking advantage of you literally dying #you cannot stop her and it might actually be the better choice to surrender #and she is your LITTLE sister. SHE IS AN EARLIER VERSION OF YOURSELF.#this is like being bested by your 9 year old self #siblinghood is so beautiful #no man's sky #nms lore #nms atlas #nms abyss #asks

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actual-changeling · 11 months

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hello :) first of all you really don't have to answer or acknowledge this since it'll maybe stir this whole thing up even more, but i guess i just wanted to talk about this with someone who feels as passionate about it as i do. there's this very famous writer in the TLOU fandom and the way they portray ellie's character and especially her trauma just IRKS me so bad. it's so obvious they have no idea how PSTD works. at first i was like, ok, don't like don't read, i truly get it and agree, but when you write about such a sensitive topic i feel like you have to take responsability? the don't like it don't read it rule doesn't apply here since A LOT of people are reading your works and there's a possibility that their knowledge of PSTD will be flawed bc of the way YOU wrote it. and ellie's character... like, how much can you change a character's personality before it's another whole person? i just don't understand the point. again, no need to reply! just wanted to talk about this w/ someone (a writer, no less) who gets it

Hi anon!

I'm glad you felt safe enough to send this ask, and I 100% understand where you are coming from. I won't go into the drama because Ellis made his post and I was only watching it from the sidelines because he is my friend; this is done for him so it's done for me.

I do wanna say something on the matter of "don't like don't read" and author responsibility because as everyone who follows me probably knows at this point, I care about accurately writing PTSD and trauma (and any other conditions for that matter), and I have made several posts about it before. This is not about one person, this is about a trend I have see both in this fandom and in other ones, so once again, as always, if you start feeling defensive ask yourself why and have a good look at that.

I want to make something very very clear: people critizing a person's portrayal of a character's trauma and PTSD is NOT about headcanons. It is not about creative freedom. It is not about character interpretation. It never has been and it never will be. It is about accurately portraying actual medical conditions in a way that is both respectful and does not contribute to ableism and stigma.

If your portrayal misses the mark, people critizicing it are not criticzing your headcanons. They are telling you that something you wrote is legitimately offensive and harms actual, real people with that condition. There is exactly one correct response to that and it's apologizing, correcting your mistakes and/or taking the work down if you cannot do so for some reason (too deeply enmeshed with the story, you cannot write it properly, etc.). Saying "don't like don't read" and ignoring it doesn't suddenly make your work not offensive, it just makes YOU a bigot who does not care that they are hurting people.

"Don't like don't read" is about fics that do not meet your personal taste or deal with topics you cannot handle. It does not apply to offensive, harmful content. Would you say the same if someone published an outright transphobic or racist fanfic? Would you say "don't like don't read" and allow them to continue to post outright bigotry without repercussions? And if your answer to this is no, as I hope it is, why is it different when it comes to ableism? Why do you think mental disorders and conditions are somehow less worthy of being portrayed correctly? Why is ableism "less bad" to you?

And anon, you bring up a great point, as an author you not only have a responsibility to make sure that your portrayal isn't hurting people who have it but that it also doesn't contribute to negative stereotypes and furthers the stigma. If a person who does not have PTSD reads it and comes out the other side with an even more flawed view of it, you failed. You failed as an author and as an ally to disabled people.

Write Ellie however you want, but once you get to a certain point at least tag it as "out of character" so people can avoid it. It's not a bad thing to write ooc characters, if you are having fun - go for it! Just tag it as such so people can avoid it. Wrongly portrayed PTSD does not fall under headcanons though, it's a problem and you need to fix it. You need to do more research than one google search. Having a friend with PTSD is also not enough, you need the full picture, you need to understand how PTSD works and why people's symptoms are the way they are.

I have CPTSD, I have enough trauma for several lifetimes, I have several other diagnosed conditions and I'm on heavy psych medications and I still do my research. I draw from my own experienced a lot but I also have years of research under my belt and I still do more. Because I care. I care about my writing and my stories, I care about the characters and the people who see themselves in them, I care about my readers and everyone else who will be (hopefully positively) affected by the education I can provide via my writing. I care and that means putting in the work isn't a chore, I do it willingly and with enthusiasm.

If someone tells me I fucked something up - thank you, I will change it, apologize, and learn from it. That is the only correct response and I hope people will start doing so instead of twisting words and hiding behind "don't like don't read" because it has never been about interpretation and never will be.

This got quite long, but once again anon, thank you for sending in the ask, I'm glad you felt comfortable sending it. Have a great day <3

#alex answers asks #alex writes tlou #the last of us #tlou #ellie williams #joel miller #joel and ellie #also once again my asks and dms are always open and if you explicitly tell me you dont want me to publish something i wont #this was just a got starting point for a lot of thoughts that have been stewing for a hot second #i swear to god if anyone starts drama over this i will block everyone involved and pretend it never happened #this is not about you this is not about drama this is not about anything #it's about me and my passion and portraying ptsd correctly #i am not involved in drama and i wont be over this either so if you are trying to twist this into something it isnt #fuck off and leave me alone

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rosicheeks · 28 days

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Unfortunately relatable. I grew up in the church and have a lot of Christian trauma from that. I show up for special occasions for my parents… sometimes. But it’s uncomfortable from the moment I step through the door. Bigoted pastor, the self-righteousness disguising the prejudice, the political comments from the altar. Shots at young people left right and center as if the hell on earth wasn’t caused by the same older generation 90% of the congregation belongs to..

I miss being young in the choir and the youth groups and not struggling with it. It’s wild to look back at the younger version of me who was unshakeable in his faith and honestly just saddening.

I was texting my sister today about it and she said

“I 100% think ALL of us have a ton of religious trauma and everyone else in the family just doesn’t realize it cause they’re still drinking the kool-aid.”

I ran out of tag room and didn’t want to delete any 😭 seriously not lying I could write a book about all my thoughts and experiences

#I relate to all of this so much #and it’s so sad how many people truly have religious trauma #I still find myself lucky and privileged cause I know there are stories MUCH worse than mine #it’s really hard cause my parents still think I’m a Christian #honestly at this point I have no clue what i am #even if I end up still being a Christian that doesn’t help or heal all of the years of church trauma #but the hard part is still acting the part for my parents #growing up I always tried to fit into the good Christian girl mold #cause I know that’s what my parents wanted and I didn’t want to disappoint them #but once I started smoking weed and they found out? it went all downhill from there #their perfect angel fell from heaven #and I feel like ever since I haven’t been really their daughter…. I’ve just been living on the outside looking in to everything #it hurts looking back at all the years I spent brainwashed into believing that was the ONLY faith #it genuinely makes me sick to my stomach thinking about the fact that I went to a pro life rally #the thing I was talking to my sister about was how mental health was never talked about in the church #when I started dealing with it and went to my parents or the pastors or any adult really and told them what I was dealing with #wanna know what the first thing they would ALWAYS say? well have you prayed about it? the way they treated mental illness was that it was #YOUR fault cause God is punishing you for something…. that you need to pray or go to church so then God will eventually take it away #and the thing is I don’t necessarily blame my parents (which kinda sucks cause I want to blame someone)#but honestly it’s just the environment they grew up in too… like I’m 99% sure my dad has dealt with depression his entire life #but won’t get diagnosed or anything cause they always believe faith has something to do with it #which makes me incredibly sad cause I just think about how much my dad has suffered and how he didn’t need to #^^ I was typing this out when I was late to my family gathering hahaha but then I think my sister called or something so I had to stop #sorry this post is all over the place - I swear I could write a book about religious trauma #yesterday went ok surprisingly but today? TODAY is going to be so much worse #sure I’ll make a post about it later but I guessssss I should go to bed now? it’s 2am and I have to get up at 5:45 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#and I have a fuuuuull day of fun Christian festivities while I’m dealing with all of this bottled up and unresolved crap from my past #please don’t get me wrong I love my parents and like I said I don’t blame them - they did their best #it just really sucks wondering what my life would have been like if I didn’t grow up in the church or in a super religious family #I wonder if when I told my parents I was depressed if they would have instantly brought me in to get help

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lizard-zombie · 1 year

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Had an idea and im too lazy to write it and i don’t know enough about the tlou universe so here’s a word vomit instead

—

So you and Joel are a thing. Y’all met at QZ and after a year or two, you and Joel became a couple. Maybe you are besties with Tess or maybe you are just friends/acquaintances. Up to you. Regardless of your relationship with Tess, you three work and most likely live together.

You understand that Tess and Joel are good friends and great partners. You weren’t jealous of Tess. The green eyed monster never made an appearance since you got together with Joel.

He reminded you of your talents, your little quirks, those tiny habits that had him falling in love with you and only you. He quelled your fears and insecurities until an unshakable trust was solidified in your heart and your mind. Now you two are almost four years strong in your relationship. Once you found peace, you were able to admire Tess without feeling any doubt. Strong, independent, smart, she was someone you strived to be.

Your feelings about her didn’t change even when you found out that she harbored feelings for your lover. Tess admitted it to you one late night. It was just the two of you and some bottles of shitty beer. She respected you and respected Joel. She was glad to step back for the two of you. Joel was happy and that was all she cared about. Even if Tess felt the desire to rip him away from you, she was sure Joel’s heart would always be with you. She bet her favorite two guns on it. You two became a lot closer after that.

Now Tess was dead. Joel was different after her death. Anyone would be after having someone close to you sacrifice themselves for your safety. You did your best to comfort him and support him as you both grieved. But as the days went by, your relationship with him felt off. Most times, he’d pull you in and hold you in his strong arms. It was familiar and you happily snuggled into his chest. Sometimes, he would shut you out, refusing to talk, refusing to touch.

You don’t know when it began but that “sometimes” became “most times”. Eventually, he not only shut you out, but he seemed to actively push you away. His gruff voice turned cold, his attitude harsher than usual. There were nights when the Joel you knew resurfaced. Sweet, soft, understanding. He’d apologize for being a dick and you accepted him with open arms. This bliss would only last for a few days and the jaded Joel would nestle in again.

You’d gotten used to this new hot and cold pattern and learned the best ways to deal with these flips. One of the ways to help relive him of whatever had be stressing him was to fuck you. Naturally, you didn’t mind. Depending on his mood, he’d pound into you with no remorse, a monster drilling you into whatever you were against. A tree, a table, the disgusting forest floor. You didn’t care. Joel was take care of you. All you wanted was him and his cock and to help him feel better. While you loved the wild and rough sex, you adored the long, passionate nights where both of you were drunk on each other, love pouring out of every molecule in your bodies.

You thought things would be okay. You thought wrong. It was some odd hour the morning, the embers of the fire hardly even glowing. You and Joel were basking in post-orgasmic bliss, floating in the feelings of being partially awake and mostly asleep. You were relishing in the feeling of him giving sloppy neck kisses when something slipped from his mouth. A name slipped from his mouth. And it wasn’t yours. In his hazy mind, you weren’t here with him.

Tess was.

The sun finally rose and unlike your companions, you hadn’t got a wink of sleep. Suddenly, Joel’s attitude made sense. Everything, his actions, his words, his feelings, it all made sense. Some time when he was mourning, he stopped seeing you and started seeing the ghost of Tess. He loved her. He fucking loved her. And he didn’t even know it.

Tess was dead and had seemed to have taken Joel along with her.

That left you, confused and broken and alone in the land of the living. You didn’t say anything about it and neither did he but you were pretty sure that was because he didn’t even remember saying it. A few days went by and you did your best to distance yourself from your lover.

Lover.

You wanted to keep calling him your lover, but you kept hearing whispers to add the prefix. An ex-lover. It made you sick to your stomach.

It was almost funny. You were never jealous of Tess when she was alive, but now that she was dead, you found it squeezing you by the throat. Guilt and shame coursed through you every time you caught yourself growing angry. It felt disrespectful to the dead even if you weren’t blaming her.

You let out a pitiful chuckle as you stared at the night sky. Tess lost the bet. She owes you her two favorite guns.

—

Anyway but yah something like that.

OMG OMG wait ok so train of thought part two lol

—

Y’all got together after Joel and Tess meet Bill and Frank and you just never really interacted with them. Joel and Tess are private people so they don’t bring up others in conversation even if they are friends with our favorite gays. So the boys don’t know you. You are not included in Bill’s letter to Joel. It’s only Tess.

It didn’t bug you at the time because the thought that Joel wasn’t yours hadn’t crossed your mind. But now you know. And now you think about it. And it breaks you more and more every time.

You get closer to Ellie. You busy yourself with her, allowing yourself to get lost in maternal instinct.

—

This is where my brain splits.

—

On one hand, I am living for the angst and think they shouldn’t get together in the end. Even if he tried to come back to you, you refuse and everyone proceeds to be unhappy and hurt. Well not everyone. Like Ellie is happy to have a father and mother figure. But she’s not too happy because said mother and father figure are at serious odds and have an irreparable relationship.

—

On the other hand, we could continue and Joel works his shit out kind of and realizes that you are acting differently. After brooding mulling over it, he approaches you and brings it up. Naturally, it doesn’t go well and you explode, tell him every. single. thing.

Does he take it well? No. Why would you think otherwise. Probably yells back at you, things escalated and now you two aren’t even looking at each other. You can’t even stand being two feet of him. Ellie is tired of your bullshit but is glad you aren’t taking it out on her.

Eventually we get to see Joel twist and turn and crack and break as he explores himself. Bro is fucked up and he knows this but now he is forced to try to untangle part of his fucked up-ness if he want to repair things with you.

Yay Joel Miller character development <3

While Joel is struggling and suffering, Ellie is trying to talk to you about your relationship. Ellie is a smart and attentive kid. She sees that Joel is trying his best with the whole people thing. She also sees that Joel really cares for you. He does love you.

You tell her that he loved Tess.

Ellie just shrugged. Yeah he loved Tess, but he loves you more. Her death is bringing more things out of him, making him realize his feelings, but that’s part of the mourning process. He’ll return to you. Okay so Ellie is kinda pulling some shit out of her ass but based on some romance novels she managed to snatch, so there had to be some truth to it.

Idk something something but you think about it and eventually become less hostile towards Joel and he more attentive to you. Y’all end up talking and relaxing in each other’s presence. Idk what happens in the game except for a few stuff but ig they get to wherever they are going and you relearn how to trust him again and Joel becomes a softer and more open man. This is a really really long process lol

By the time Joel reunites with his brother, you two are at a point where Joel introduces you as his girlfriend. It’s still fragile but y’all really trying.

It ends with you looking back up at the night sky and whisper that Tess can keep her guns. The bet was not lost after all.

—

Oh and on the side, y’all eventually get married before Joel…well yk…

unleSS WE CHANGE IT AND EVERYONE LIVES HAPPILY EVER AFTER YAY

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